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deadcactuswalking · 4 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 13/07/2024 (Eminem/Big Sean/BabyTron, Quavo/Lana Del Rey)

Sabrina may have outperformed Sabrina recently but thankfully, Sabrina has taken the throne off of Sabrina for a sixth week at #1 for Sabrina above Sabrina’s last hit, dropping to #2 thanks to a boost above Sabrina for Sabrina, leaving Sabrina below Sabrina. “Espresso” is at #1 and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, Eminem discourse

Rundown

And as always, we start our episode with the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to… okay, sorry, “Gata Only” by FloyyMenor and Cris Mj went from #76 to #75 to #76 in a three-week span as if they know the arbitrary restrictions I place on this series and want to pressure me into changing them. If that’s the case, what’s “read the FAQ” in Spanish? Besides that, we say farewell to a mix of older tracks and stuffed EDM collabs, as our full lists consists of: “places to be” by Fred again.., Anderson .Paak and CHIKA (which of course deserved more than five weeks), “Addicted” by Zerb, the Chainsmokers and Ink, “Yellow” by Coldplay, “Without Me” by Eminem and finally, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe, which feels like it’s been here forever.

As for our returns, we see the Euros boost another football anthem back on the charts, namely the #8-peaking “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond. On the two non-consecutive weeks this song peaked, Mungo Jerry and T. Rex were #1 and that should give you enough context that I really don’t need to tell you it was 1971. Alongside it, “3 Lions” is up to #20 and “Mr. Brightside” is at #58 thanks to the band playing football matches at their shows in the lead-up to this track, but once again, I’ve talked about these football songs a while back. I can’t remember the episode but you can probably take an educated guess based on whatever football tournament was happening.

When it comes to notable gains, it’s a bit of an easier job, as there’s some straightforward pick-ups for “You & Me” by Disclosure featuring Eliza Doolittle at #66, “Miles on It” by Marshmello and Kane Brown at #60, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #48, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #46, Zach Bryan’s “Pink Skies” returning to the top 40 at #40 thanks to his new album but more on that later, “Kisses” by BL3SS, CamrinWatsin and bbyclose at #26, “Too Sweet” by Hozier at #13 and Kendrick Lamar returning to the top 10 at #9 with “Not Like Us”.

As for our top five, well, for our first full tracking week under a Labour government since 2010, we already know where Starmer’s cabinet stands on pop stars, with Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!” at #5 swapping places with “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish at #4. One thing hasn’t changed, though, and that’s drinking habits, as Shaboozey’s “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” is steady at #3, and then of course, Sabrina: “Please Please Please” at #2 and “Espresso” at #1. Now for what should be an interesting and definitely varied set of new tracks.

New Entries

#73 - “28” - Zach Bryan

Produced by Zach Bryan

As I expected, I loved Zach Bryan’s newest album, The Great American Bar Scene, which released on July 4th - fittingly - and I delivered some longer thoughts in my listening log on RateYourMusic. The account name’s exclusivelytopostown if you wish to read any more, but to sum it up, it’s definitely more of a folk and heartland rock-influenced album, going from sounding like Springsteen to well, containing the Boss himself, and it fittingly has a more observational, on-the-road feel to it as we travel across America with Zach Bryan delivering relevant anecdotes surrounding his life that seem more distant than the self-titled. It’s still personal, it’s still got a warm, organic production, but there’s an undeniable swell to it all that makes the humble road trip feel a lot grander. I prefer the self-titled in terms of having more memorable, distinct songs but this is an excellent record in itself. Thankfully, one of my favourites was “28”, his only debut as the album bows in at #16 on the UK albums chart.

There are many topics that Bryan will delve into across the record but this one, in comparison, feels like a pretty straightforward love ballad, and a very sweet one at that. Bryan tells us stories about how he went to see her family on his 28th birthday and that was the first time his left felt full and that he was truly loved on his own birthday, having a family and home that he’s been searching for his entire life, caught in a place between home and somewhere distant and unfamiliar, but now he’s fell into what might be a new home for him, and the song celebrates how real that relationship feels. This is developed on in the second verse where Bryan finds himself in a very familiar lyrical space: the dive bar’s crowded with rich people, not at all like it was when he was younger, but the smoke seeping out is still the same, he’s still playing the guitar he was gifted at 14, and being with his new partner takes him back to that space he’s so familiar with. It’s a beautiful sentiment that the homes he created from a passage of specific, frequently recurring memories have been brought back to him by the way he feels with his partner. The organic recording with some distant guitar and an overwhelming bed of strings turns an intimate set of recollections to an honest-to-God ceremony and that little lyric change from “where your old man stayed” to “where your whole heart stayed” places a really neat little bow on everything. It may not be the deepest or most powerful cuts on the latest record, but it’s one that feels so universal without sacrificing the important details that make him such a loveable songwriter. It’s one of my favourite songs of the year, and the whole album’s worth checking out too.

#71 - “I Love You, I’m Sorry” - Gracie Abrams

Produced by Gracie Abrams and Aaron Dessner

Now we’re back in some territory that I’m less familiar with and also less appreciative to see on the charts, TayLorde Rodrigo… I mean, Gracie Abrams, daughter of J.J. This is another album cut from her breakout record that hit #1 a few weeks ago, with this being a sequel to another breakup track she released in 2020. I know I’ve often made comical comparisons to other artists when discussing Abrams’ particularly derivative style but I really liked “Risk” which is similarly plainly obvious on who it takes influence with so it really isn’t just that, and there’s some promise to that: it’s similarly structured to her “I miss you, I’m sorry” whilst taking a more wistful approach, a couple years later, on the breakup and acknowledging the weirdness of still being familiar to someone you slammed the door on despite loving, and being thankful that the ex-partner still keeps in touch, albeit the connection is dwindling. I was actually somewhat liking it, even if it borderlines on easy listening, until the bridge which seems to deflect some blame onto this partner for no reason in a really immature moment that feels out of place, and also has some really obvious takes from the Taylor department (no pun intended), even down to inflections and vocal delivery. The songwriting becomes basic and childish for what seems like a lashing out moment but doesn’t really need to serve that purpose in any way. The song is about frustration but a frustration that quietly bubbles down through life, why have that moment so far into the song? It just doesn’t work for me narratively even if the idea isn’t bad, and Dessner’s utterly unremarkable instrumental backing isn’t helping matters. It’s still okay, but with some very obvious flaws I can’t really get over.

#69 - “Bring Me Joy” - Rudimental and Karen Harding

Produced by Rudimental, Billen Ted and Slim Typical

I question who in Rudimental even contributes to these songs anymore. There are two other credited acts as producers here, and they are both DJ-producer duos who can do a perfectly good job by themselves or even together, but then add Rudimental, who are a trio and get top billing, and you’re telling me nine people produced this. You could argue that maybe one of them did and Rudimental is just the more recognisable name, but all three of the members are credited as writers, alongside salute who, if you don’t know, is also a DJ and producer, meaning 10 were involved in creating this song with Durham singer Karen Harding, who last appeared on the chart in 2015. Her debut single and biggest hit, “Say Something”, actually peaked at #7. The #1 was “Uptown Funk!”, of course. Maybe this new track will revive her hit-making career and you know what’s bizarre? How I can more obviously tell salute did work on this than any of the credited producers. Sure, it’s a drum and bass track, but it’s got a choir vocal, a gentler swell of pianos and the lead vocal filtered as an intro, it sounds more like it’s introducing a salute song than Rudimental’s until we get into the weirdly-mixed lead vocal and very unsubtle stutter that spirals into a frankly wank drum and bass loop. The song basically starts on 11 with all the details thanks to the nine people on the DAW, so any attempt at genuine bombast or relief in the drop feels like bashing in some horns to an already full orchestra. In fact, for what should be a rote, inoffensive track from an easily ignorable vocalist and completely competent producer teams, it’s surprisingly annoying with just how overly produced it is. The egregious implementation of that distorted male vocal clip is out of place, the effects added to Harding’s voice are grating and at times seemingly arbitrary, it’s just all a bit gross. I really like this genre and a lot of the time, will defend more mediocre drum and bass tunes because the drum patterns make me happy or the drop is exciting, but not even I can find much joy in this, which should be saying something.

#64 - “Apple” - Charli xcx

Produced by Charli xcx, A.G. Cook, George Daniel and Lotus IV

Once again, we go back to Charli’s BRAT, an album with more mainstream influence and longevity than I expected, as we get what is now our sixth debut from the record across multiple weeks. I believe this is what the gays call "being the moment." Charli has described this song as focusing on her very complicated relationship with her parents, using the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” saying as its main conceit and going for a perhaps more familiar synthpop backing whilst filtering her vocals out to muffle her voice slightly, as if she’s becoming separate from her family as she finds escapism by travelling away from a family she’s constantly comparing herself to. The apple could “turn yellow or green”, accentuating both how unpredictable growing up could be and how that connection could either still work into old age or rot over time, with the third verse having her dissect the apple, splitting what traits of her that she doesn’t appreciate between her parents. It’s a clever and really open concept for the song, and whilst I’m a sucker for honest detail, the analogy is more telling depending on how you interpret it than perhaps a more down to reality vent about what is probably a feeling that couldn’t be understood by an audience that’s not specifically her. With this, I still feel the escapism of the airport but also the disappointment when that turns into a stuttering, dark clog instead of a beautiful swell in that bridge where she promises, of course, that she’s going to “drive all night”, aimlessly, realising that even if she makes her branch of the tree, she can’t escape from her family as it’s part of her. It’s not my favourite mix on the album, it can feel a bit flat and rushed sometimes, but the instrumental outro with the mantra of “do you” really places into perspective her question of asking where you even go to feel like you’re not alone, because forming a yes-or-no question out of that forces you, and her, to reckon with the idea that you don’t actually go anywhere. You’re still you, and your experiences don’t take you elsewhere, they add patches of detail to your own person. And if I’m getting philosophical, that means the song’s good or I’m insane. Probably both, and I don’t need to tell you this, but it’s definitely worth checking out even if it’s not the most sonically distinct piece on the album - for a more revealing track, it doesn’t need to be.

#62 - “Lies Lies Lies” - Morgan Wallen

Produced by Joey Moi

Well, well, look who else released country music on the 4th of July, with a special live YouTube performance video to boot which I didn’t mention in the review but is also how “28” was premiered. Even for Morgan Wallen here, the songwriting is a bit dire, which is a shame because there’s a darker hinge to the guitars here that should lead to the forestry atmosphere the smokier sound and the cool whistling should succeed at conveying. Yet the chorus is so basic and pissy, as is the rest of this breakup song, delivered in a way that doesn’t justify any of the bitterness in the lyrics or the darker sound. He kind of just delivers it like “Last Night”, which also had its toxic relationship - where the woman is mostly blamed, but at least in this one he ended things (despite his persistence that he must be the one to do so). The difference is that “Last Night” is almost sing-songy, it’s a pop song more than anything and embraces it by going for trap drums and plastic silliness instead of going deeper into country cred for what is little more than an aesthetic for something that doesn’t pull on many of its songwriting tropes. It just ends up sounding ugly and flat for no purpose when a perfectly serviceable Maroon 5 song is hidden under there, and ends up looking pretty bad for Morgan Wallen. If your country song released on a patriotic day as what should surely be a gift for your fans given its lack of connection to an existing album and no reason to start another cycle is this ashamed of being a pop song, ridden in so much interpersonal hatred that’s still vague enough to consider itself universal, largely because you didn’t write one word of it, I would be reconsidering why I made country music in the first place. Or maybe that’s just how you celebrate the founding of your great country: singing about your ex-girlfriend’s lies and deceit, alcohol addiction and hating yourself. Hell, is that saying more about Morgan or the States?

#59 - “you look like you love me” - Ella Langley featuring Riley Green

Produced by Will Bundy

Thankfully, for a week weirdly full of country songs for the UK charts, we actually have more good than bad, with - interestingly - two relative newcomers in Ella Langley, who released her first record in 2023, and Riley Green who has had much success as a writer (hence his credit on this song) but not as much in his solo career until 2019 onwards. This duet tells the story of a lonely Ella Langley meeting passionately with a lover at a bar: “you look like you love me” seems like a very forward line for a one-night stand so whilst the life after this hook-up isn’t referenced and their drunkenness is emphasised throughout, there’s definitely still some reminiscing about this rendezvous. Langley uses a conversational delivery in the verses that feels very much like a traditional story-telling country songs, the kind that my dad used to like, but returns to an undeniable sing-a-long hook every time and it just feels like magic. Despite what could be a pretty chintzy instrumental considering the piano and acoustic pick-up but it just immerses you further in the story, with the awkward dead spaces in Riley Green’s verse that make it clear this isn’t as smooth of a hook-up as she remembers, the emphasis on little clothing details like boots and Green’s cowboy hat, the fact that she goes “alright now!” before the hoedown instrumental break, it’s all quite comical in its own cutesy way that I find really endearing. Vintage, sure, and perhaps a story that’s less believable to have happened in this day and age, but it doesn’t need to be to still be a fun little story delivered really excellently. I will say that Langley is clearly much more of a presence but thematically that makes a lot of sense, and it is refreshing to see a woman be the most prominent element of the highest debuting country song this week (outside of, well, we’ll get to it), that has a separate woman credited as a co-writer. It’s a cute, heartwarming little song that I think even those who write off country music on the charts will enjoy a fair bit.

#56 - “Pink Lemonade (Str8 Reload)” - LeoStayTrill and Mr. Reload It

Produced by Xeretto and VG$ Midnight

Whilst this is “Pink Lemonade (Str8 Reload)” by LeoStayTrill and Mr. Reload It. LeoStayTrill is a rapper from South London whilst Mr. Reload It is… not the producer or vocalist so who is Mr. Reload It? It took me little time to gather through social media that Mr. Reload It, real name Alex, is a content creator on TikTok who runs a show called Str8 Reload wherein rappers come in and freestyle, and the song had already finished without me realising I was really playing it by the time I had written all that out. LeoStayTrill appears to be a content creator on his own, and I skimmed through his TikToks that have nothing to do with the song but are featured with the sound in the background and hashtags proclaiming it’s the song of the summer. He appears to be a young guy still in education - sixth form maybe? - so I can’t really heavily criticise what is a pretty generic Tion Wayne-esque drill song with bad mixing, nothing flexes and a type beat as the instrumental. I was scanning through so many of his TikToks finding some extra context for his viral hit, but it seems like just shilling for it consistently will give you enough plays with a big following, and there are definitely some very catchy parts of his verses - ironically, all outside of the chorus - that I can understand the virality. One interesting thing I picked up on was that he was defiantly explaining to his followers a word that they had gotten wrong when reciting the lyrics, and jokingly claimed that he wished to delete the song because of this mondegreen until he brought out the original project file for the song to prove this. Nearly every single one of his TikToks had this song or its shitty Jersey club remix in the background, it was maddening. Wish you the best, man.

#32 - “Tough” - Quavo and Lana Del Rey

Produced by Cirkut and watt

If anyone was going to team these two disparate artists up, it was probably Andrew Watt, though the two appear to be friendly which makes sense given Lana’s affinity for hip hop, which is seldom implemented in her music but I enjoy when it is as it ends up surprisingly smooth, especially in cloud rap and trap territory. “Summer Bummer” with A$AP Rocky and Playboi Carti is one of my favourites from her. The conceit of this collab is somewhat comical: a country-influenced song where they both try and prove themselves as “tough” in different ways, with Lana using western cowboy imagery and Quavo harkening back to his days living impoverished in Atlanta, but together, they’re beautiful. It’s very cliché and silly but I can actually connect with that as just a matter of setting the stage for this upcoming Lana country album: suspension of disbelief is important in both country and rap, and especially pop, so I like when artists play around with unfitting narratives. Lana’s vocals are in their typical wispy rasp over the twiddling folksy guitars but Quavo comes in referencing the trap beat that drives into the song he just hopped on, and whilst I did laugh the first time, he adds a bit more emotive rasp to his voice that really works, especially in balance with the more melodic flows he’s able to temper the aggressive delivery with. I also like his informing of the posturing with what he’s genuinely been through, and those two different ideas of what “tough” is between them makes their surprisingly well-done harmonising very compelling. In fact, Lana adds more to Quavo’s posturing in her verse with Huncho himself prompting her lyrics in a cute back-and-forth that makes me believe these guys are actually dating, even though if that was the case, there may not be a mutual depth to how they feel about each other here. That bridge still has a lot of great swell and deviates from what could easily be a tedious novelty if not split apart by a gorgeous interlude that sounds perfect for walking down the aisle. I’m very surprised by the chemistry here, but the dialogue in the outro, whilst obviously corny, sounds like movie dialogue from a dated film, and the way you hear him pasing her the lighter and doing a typical Migos ad-lib injects a lot of Quavo’s personality into a Lana-led song. One of my favourite details is the crack in Lana’s voice where she admits for as much as Lana appreciates the grit and roughness of Mr. Quavious thanks to his upbringing, it’s that same upbringing that makes him tell her some truths a woman like Lana may not want to hear, and I find that a really subtle but effective way of painting the lovestruck soulmates with troubling, nuanced dots. I figured something like this, especially with Quavo releasing more singles than months of the year currently, would be a rushed, comical slap-dash collab but there is a lot more thought into this duet than I expected from even Lana who never really shined outside of her introspection that much. Brilliant song.

#29 - “Tobey” - Eminem featuring Big Sean and BabyTron

Produced by marvy ayy, John Nocito, Carlton McDowell, Daniyel, Eminem and Cole Bennett

As I said with the Zach Bryan review, full thoughts on the latest Eminem comeback, The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grace) are on my RateYourMusic page, and thankfully, this song kind of has no relevance to the existing plotline of that album. It’s always an unnecessary stress when a song hits the top 75 and I have to either explain away the conceits of a narrative- or theme-based record that I already wrote some thoughts down on, or end up diving in headfirst to a song from an album I haven’t gotten around to hearing so I can review the one song, but ending up a bit headless thanks to my lack of context. This is a weird case because it’s a pre-album single that was released in the midweek and despite the album having a clear plot and theme you can see even in its lead single, this song has nothing to do with it and this time, it’s on purpose? “Tobey” is one of a few songs on the back-end that show Eminem is still hungry without the Slim Shady persona, and this particular track is him stepping bar-for-bar with a newer cat in Big Sean and so new a cat he may as well be a kitty, BabyTron, of the Detroit ShittyBoyz scam-rap collective, known for his semi-witty punchlines and tight flows. That works a lot better for me when he has an actual groove, especially the constant punchiness of a Detroit trap track but here, we have a beat that I thought was interesting at first and becomes increasingly odd. It makes sense to me for a beat to have no steady percussion line and instead be full of cinematic strings and thwooping, bass-heavy movie trailer sounds - it’s Eminem, after all, I guess he’s catching up to his Christian stan NF - but it just never drops after all the build-up, and that piano line that is also very explicitly Detroit is a tedious loop that never changes but feeds tension into the beat without ever finding build-up, despite obvious lay-ups for that to happen. The verses transition not through smooth sequencing of instruments but through a cloudy void of blurry sound effects, as if the song was made for the music video and nothing else. There’s electric guitars added into the mix because, it’s either Em himself or his main man Luis Resto who are obsessed with adding those to the back of the beat for no reason, there are hi-hats during BabyTron’s verse that just skitter out of existence, and a mix of guitars with cavernous drums and warping synths during the latter two verses from Sean and Em that just drown out the two rappers without ever landing them on a true groove, which only really Eminem can play with in an interesting way. I know it’s Eminem so the beat should not be the focus but this is a bizarre, borderline just experimental beat that sounds kind of terrible most of the time but has so many fascinating bad decisions and moving parts that it’s hard to ignore.

Now for the rappers themselves, as you’d probably expect me to discuss more given again, it’s Eminem, he’s the only person with an interesting concept or flow here. He’s bitter and desperate to prove he’s in top fives - not that he should care but I’m not angry that he does, he’s a lyrical rapper from the 90s, caring about being the best is kind of his job - but unlike Kamikaze, he’s not lashing out at his own fans, he’s lashing out at so-called critics, including Melle Mel, who he very reasonably stamps out for the reason that whilst people prompted him not to respond to the man because he’s a pioneer - a grandmaster, if you will - of the genre, Eminem’s cemented his place just as much as he has and it would be a fair competition between legends. A weird beat always brings out awkward deliveries in Em, and he’s surprisingly not going for the easier, fast-paced deadpan talking both BabyTron and to a lesser extent, Sean, go for here, instead being all over the beat like he has eight legs spread out saying a different bar. It’s a cool approach that means he’s not always perfectly on beat but the beat’s weird, so let him be too, I actually find it much more compelling than BabyTron, who sounds like a bored child lost in the supermarket, even if there are some quotable lines and Detroit references that add a little more spice. Big Sean is selling his anger and hunger much more convincingly, even when faced against this Lovecraftian monster of a beat, and whilst I’m not necessarily invested in Sean because… of course not, his bars hit, his rhyme schemes are solid and he sounds on point the whole time, it’s a focused verse that really balances out Em’s verse. BabyTron is completely lost to that dynamic so the fact that he originated the main conceit of the song, the utterly stupid idea that since Tobey Maguire became Spider-Man after being bitten by a spider, BabyTron and Big Sean must have been bitten by a goats because they’re GOATs, and Eminem must have been the goat / GOAT that bit them. Yeah, there’s a reason why the song’s namesake didn’t deserve being brought up until the last minute. I know this was a hefty review for a pretty middling debut that won’t last, but this really feels like a can of worms hidden on the back-half of an album completely irrelevant to it, even though it was already released as a single and music video. Fascinating little track, honestly. I’m kind of glad we end the week with that nonsense.

Conclusion

Well, it was a big debut week for country or country-adjacent tracks, and this rings well in our conclusion, as Best of the Week obviously goes to Zach Bryan for “28” whilst we have surprisingly close Honourable Mentions for the two duets: “you look like you love me” by Ella Langley and Riley Green and “Tough” with Quavo and Lana Del Rey. As for the worst, that also represents country as Morgan Wallen takes it handedly for the regretful “Lies Lies Lies”, whilst I suppose “Bring Me Joy” by Rudimental and Karen Harding ends up as the Dishonourable Mention. Whatever happens next week, apart from Eminem, I hope there’s not too much to write about because it’ll be a busy Friday for me. Knowing the charts, I won’t get that peace and Peppa fucking Pig will debut a couple songs. Regardless, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week.

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #eminem #babytron #big sean #lana del rey #quavo #leostaytrill #mr reload it #ella langley #riley green #morgan wallen #charli xcx #rudimental #karen harding #gracie abrams #zach bryan #the great american bar scene

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deadcactuswalking · 3 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/08/2024 (Post Malone/Luke Combs, Central Cee, Calvin Harris/Ellie Goulding)

For a fifth week, Sabrina Carpenter remains atop the UK Singles Chart with “Please Please Please”, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, lesbian sex, confusion

Rundown

As always, we start the episode with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 and first of all, that Eminem album really crashes out this week as both “Habits” featuring White Gold and “Brand New Dance”, only lasting a single week, make their exit. As for the rest, well, Charli xcx switches out “Girl, so confusing” - helped by its Lorde-featuring duet version - with another song we’ll get back to, but other than that, we say farewell to “the boy is mine” by Ariana Grande (also helped by a remix with Brandy and Monica), “Addicted” by Zerb, The Chainsmokers and Ink, “Illusion” by Dua Lipa, “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay and, though it’s not notable, just for fun, we say goodbye to a brave soldier, “Pink Lemonade (Str8 Reload)” by LeoStayTrill. Song of the Summer indeed.

One thing you may notice this week is that older songs had a particularly nice lift, and this shows in our re-entries, as other than Ariana Grande’s “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” returning to #66, we see a massive resurgence for *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”, so massive and manufactured that the song now claims to be “from” the Deadpool and Wolverine soundtrack. Yeah, okay, Justin, anything to recover your world tour. Timberlake’s boy band debuted at a #3 peak with the song in 2000, with the #1 on that week also being a debut for Madonna’s derided cover of “American Pie”. “Bye Bye Bye” only lasted 10 weeks on the chart but definitely made itself a cultural staple due to its ear-worm chorus and iconic music video, leading Anne-Marie to interpolate it in her #3-peaking “2002” from 2018. That song’s uninterrupted five-week run at #3 saw #1s from Calvin Harris, Jess Glynne, Clean Bandit and George Ezra pass it by, and I reviewed all of that back when I was just starting. The *NSYNC hit is back thanks to the release of the aforementioned superhero movie that has high enough praise on aggregate sites like Rotten Tomatoes as well as genuine fan push evident from how high this song is, that it might help the declining Marvel universe. Why am I pretending to care about that?

As for our notable gains, we see plenty of hefty boosts this week for “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” by Luke Combs at #56 off of the continued success of its film, Twisters, “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat at #55, “You & Me” by Disclosure featuring Eliza Doolittle at #51, “WILDFLOWER” by Billie Eilish at #45, “The Door” by Teddy Swims at #25, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #18, “Apple” and “360” by Charli xcx at #14 and #12 respectively (more on her later) and finally, making their first entry in the top 10 for whatever reason, BL3SS, CamrinWatson and bbyclose - all clearly household hitmakers - are at #7 with “Kisses”. The song’s not bad at all, but I just never would have expected it to be this successful, even if ACR might be paying it some favours.

As usual, our top five should look pretty standard, aside from a decent jump for Dasha as the already long-lasting top 10 “Austin (Boots Stop Workin’)” - yes, it’s been renamed for easier clicks - is up to #5. Otherwise, we’re all familiar with “Stargazing” by Myles Smith at #4, “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” by Billie Eilish at #3 and “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan reaching a new peak of #2, and of course, Sabrina at the top. What should be much more interesting though is our mixed batch of fascinating new song a bit lower down on the chart, which we’ll have to get through now.

New Entries

#71 - “Gold Mine” - Aitch and D-Block Europe

Produced by AoD and Jacob Manson

Damn, what other way to start an episode is better than to begin the new entries with my boys Young Adz and Dirtbike Lb? …and some white guy. Okay, Aitch isn’t awful and has displayed a degree of personality over the years - though not often as a lead artist - but one thing I’ll never care to hear from him is relationship drama, especially with one of the laziest beats I have ever heard on this show. A singular acoustic guitar line that already cuts out abruptly is then cut in a rush that makes it sound like flipping paper, then we have some of the cheapest trap drums available - I hate that snare - and it’s way too stagnant to go for the West Coast swagger it clearly attempts, though Aitch’s personality-void vocals aren’t helping matters. For some reason, Youthful Advertisements, going for a sing-songy flow and incomprehensible sense of flow on the chorus, is way louder than everything surrounding him and decides to croon about having his tongue in a woman’s ass - classy - whilst Dirtbike Lb seems to not understand he’s on a relationship song until the end of his verse. Aitch is the only one on topic, but he’s my least favourite presence on here - it’s insane just how better this nearly objectively terrible beat sounds with Dirtbike on it instead of Aitch. There are some vaguely cool lines but nothing special, and his flow isn’t new for him, but there’s something so effortless and liquidy to how Dirtbike appears on a track nowadays that appeals to me. And yes, though this may not be the song for it, I agree that I hope the situation in Palestine turns around. I have no faith that it will and whilst this is a throwaway line in an otherwise unrelated song, it should show how much the youth care about the genocide that a pop-rapper is bringing it up so casually. Wait, isn’t this an Aitch song?

#67 - “Lonely Road” - mgk and Jelly Roll

Produced by SlimXX, BazeXX, Charlie Handsome and Travis Barker

Okay, I’ll bite: who’s this new, abbreviated figure of mystery who goes by the simple three litters, mgk? I wonder who could be hiding behind there. Jokes aside, it makes perfect sense for Machine Gun Kelly to take his awkward, triple-barrel name and shorten it down to what everyone was calling him anyway - especially for him, as his name is long enough for it to be very noticeable in Spotify and YouTube titles. Hiding as “mgk” makes it much clearer and easier for you to see “Jelly Roll” on the title for this YouTube video, which could be obscured if he used his full name, which would be a massive turn-off for any Jelly Roll fans with taste. Given that Mr. Jelly has songs with Falling in Reverse and HARDY, I would assume this is not an issue, but part of me does find it amusing how this guy had a song with Eminem just three weeks back and is now hopping on to duet with mgk.

This is actually Jelly Roll’s first time charting and whilst he has a history in underground country rap, he’s recently brought a belting presence to country and rock stations in the US through his rougher but mostly accessible country rock and soul tracks that have gained him a slow-burn following Stateside, yet - perhaps unsurprisingly - he’s yet to crossover to the UK. We love our big, gruff rock belter guys though so I don’t supect it’ll be long, and this track seems to be the UK’s first taste of the J-Man. Is it a good first impression? Well, given the Travis Barker production credit, this seems to be more the first impression for whatever mgk’s next album will be but unfortunately, if you thought that maybe country and rock would be safe from nostalgia-bait sampling, you will be devastated to know that our story starts in 1971.

John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” is one of the most iconic country songs of all time. Whilst Denver always associated himself with Colorado, the ode to West Virginia became so famous that it’s now one of their state anthems. A pop song becoming raised to even that standard is really honourable, though perhaps expectedly, the late Denver’s version never crossed over to the UK charts, though it has of course appeared in various alternate versions because everyone and their mother has covered it… and I mean everyone and their mother: literal mother Olivia Newton-John took it to #15 in 1973 (the #1 was “Blockbuster” by the Sweet) and a mother to many online, Lana Del Rey, covered the song just last year as a way to signal the start of her country era. The West Virginia anthem didn’t return to the charts until it found its way there in the year 2000 in possibly the most bizarro world way: Melky Sedeck sang a brief parody of the song in the bridge to Wyclef Jean’s hilarious #3 hit “It Doesn’t Matter” featuring, of all people, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The #1 the week of its peak was Modjo’s “Lady (Hear Me Tonight)” but please, I beg of you, take a listen to that batshit song that to this day, is the highest-charting rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” in the UK and I’m not even joking. The next year, a Dutch Europop group Hermes House Band would make a more standard cover that peaked at #7 in 2001, whilst the #1 was Daniel Bedingfield’s “Gotta Get Thru This” and the #2 was “Murder on the Dancefloor” - funny how those things turn out - and another straggling cover by the Revellers hit #86 the week before. Now, once again, Denver’s anthem is back on the UK Singles Chart thanks to… Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Barker. 2024, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, you may be wondering: was all that background history worth it for mgk and Jelly Roll? And the obvious answer to that is, “No, but it was more interesting than telling you the obvious fact than an mgk song sucks, right?”. Turning “country roads” into “lonely road” in the intro of the song, pushing the chorus ahead to catch your interest due to the sample, is just pathetic and cynical in a way that I should probably expect mgk to be now, but still hits a sour note, especially given the verses seem to use reference humour - except without the humour - to rock bands like Taking Back Sunday and The Devil Wears Prada who are… decidedly not country, these are punk bands. The Taking Back Sunday reference made me sigh and nearly turn it off, but when the fake snap beat came in, I knew that this was going to a bro-country-rap fusion that, surprisingly for two people who came up in rap, is surprisingly awkward! I like Jelly Roll, but I’d prefer if mgk weren’t showering his echoed backing vocals behind him for no reason, let alone that shitty trap beat, but that southern, gritty texture in his voice is at least much more preferable to mgk’s nasal drawl. I honestly think the song if it were just Mr. Roll and the female backing vocalists would be somewhat salvageable… oh, what am I kidding? A country-rap-rock hybrid interpolation of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” produced by Travis Barker is horrible basically on principle. There’s some comedy in it, I suppose, but it’s otherwise a gross attempt at a monogenre comeback for a guy who’s not respected in a single one of the scenes he’s fusing together… and I’m starting to think he doesn’t respect any of those genres either, because this is sad.

#63 - “365” - Charli xcx

Produced by A.G. Cook and Cirkut

It’s… kind of weird that this is charting, right? It’s a tad extraneous: a book-end song intended to close off the BRAT album by calling back to its opener and most successful single, “360”. Charli will have a fuller song debut next week as Billie Eilish cameos on the new version of “Guess”, so this’ll be one week where “360” essentially deposits two similar but not identical spaces on the chart. That’s not to say “365” isn’t good or is just a remix because that is far from the case. After a rollercoaster array of different beats, hooks and emotional progression, we return to the glitchy buzz of “360”, one that’s almost quaint by the end of the record, with the “bumpin’ that” mantra ending each line in what is essentially a singular, continuous verse building up for the whole song, with the funnelling switch early on bringing a thundering bass and acidic rhythm to the song that separates it absolutely from “360”, if the new inclusions of less playful or even likeable lyrics, painting the image of the “it girl” from that first track being way too far gone, didn’t already do that for you. The original song takes a lot of restraint to make it an opener that doesn’t alienate you with its sonic palette, whilst bringing you some signature ugliness in the back of the mix, but Cook goes fully wild on here, especially in that disgusting drop by the end that drowns out every melodic element, filtering it behind a slodging hardcore bass that eventually fuses with the vocal lead to an unrecognisable, inhuman slush… yet Charli still gets the last laugh, even in pitch-shifted form, reminding you at the last second that she’s still “bumpin’ that”. It may not make much sense as a single, which it isn’t trying to be, but it’s a brilliant production and inspired way to close the album. Sure, it wouldn’t resonate nearly as much if it weren’t for the fact that “360” existed, but that’s so much of the song’s appeal in its distortion and looping of some of that track’s core elements, so “365” doesn’t really need to stand on its own… and given “Guess” is coming, probably for a top 40 placement, I doubt it will need to stand on its own on the charts for very long.

#53 - “Sailor Song” - Gigi Perez

Produced by Gigi Perez and Noah Weinman

Gigi Perez, according to her website, is on tour in October and is signed to Interscope. She… she doesn’t tell me anything else, what’s the point of even having a website nowadays if it’s only links to your social media accounts and music videos? We don’t even get a bio, but thankfully on Spotify, she gives us this detailed description of her music and her backstory. It reads, ahem, “Sims 2 emo lesbian love story but in the medium of music”. So… Little Miss Buzzwords here actually went semi-viral back in 2021 with the sleeper hit “Sometimes (Backwood)”, which boasts over 100 million streams on Spotify and is a largely structureless, lo-fi song, wherein the vocal mix echoes itself into crossing gender boundaries a little, whilst also telling a full story of a relationship, singing about some of what made them work, what made them break up, and the sexually-charged intro the song’s subtitled after. I’m not that big of a fan of the song’s undetailed writing or demo flavour, but I can see the appeal, even if her vocals on that track are really not great, but it is a debut and it shows some ambition and a unique sound that I figured would be expanded upon in “Sailor Song”, released a year after her debut EP, and yes, this is more like it.

Weinman brings a cleaner production to Perez’s acoustic racket, with a warped jazz sample occupying the back of the mix, smoothly texturing the fast-paced indie guitars and that wonderful falsetto chant in the intro that is incredibly catchy in itself without even getting to the verses. “Sailor Song” is similar in tone to the first part of “Sometimes”, being an awestruck sex song where, in her unique, imperfect vocal recording and tone that reminds me of maybe a Left at London, but many others I can’t quite put my finger on right now, she gets down and dirty with a girl that reminds her of Anne Hathaway. For a song without much in the way of bass or production, there is a swagger and groove to it that makes the sexual lyrics not come across as awkward as they could have, with that chorus not only giving a wistful touch through the clever ending lyric, “I sleep so I can see you ‘cause I hate to wait so long”, but also justifying the “sailor” comparison by getting pretty raunchy, including blasphemy and admitting that she’s covered in, well, glistening girl juices… on the second chorus, it’s the other way around, in a subtle twist of perspective. The general tone of secrecy surrounding their rendezvous is emphasised by how she may burst into a louder delivery but it’s tempered with softer crooning, even if it’s the same lines being sung, and frankly, it’s been a while since I’ve heard a sex song this poetically written whilst still getting as horny as it does. I’m surprised I like it as much as I do but this is a brilliant song and I hope that within the recent wave of sapphic pop songs led by Chappell Roan, that the charts can find a place for this too.

#42 - “Somedays” - Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D

Produced by Sonny Fodera and D.O.D

I see that Mr. Fodera actually produced this one, or at least didn’t forget to add himself to the production credit on Spotify like on “Mind Still”. Regardless, this seems to be a new trio assorted through recent UK chart recurring characters, particularly in EDM, with Fodera joined by fellow house producer D.O.D, whose work I consistently enjoyed and can be seen on best hits list for last year, as well as Irish singer Jazzy who may have surpassed her sketchy breakout with Belters Only in the eyes of the public but has yet to prove herself as much of interest outside of being a relatively anonymous dance-pop vocalist for me. As far as this goes, she doesn’t need to be much more, as that is exactly her role, even if it could have been played by the marginally more interesting Clementine Douglas, who co-wrote the song, and sadly, this is very much a generic house-pop song, fine-tuned to fit all audiences. It’s got flat yet anthemic pianos in the pre-drop, a rote four-on-the-floor beat, even flatter future house bass synths as a lead for much of the build and enough reverb to mean amateur remixers only need to put “(slowed)” above this one, yet despite that, the drop still lands on a weirdly dry, anti-climactic note. The composition is fine, it’s sequenced as you’d expect a song like this to be, and Jazzy’s performance is okay even if that lead vocal reminds me of Flo Rida’s “I Cry”, almost distractingly so. It’s just that it’s all so processed that it’s hard to fish much personality out of me for me. I kind of like the farty bass they introduce in the final drop but not only is it not exactly atypical for this song of song but it’s also too little, too late. Sure, it’s serviceable, but when EDM, including house-pop, has been breaching more genre boundaries and delivering great pop music over the past couple years on the UK charts, including from people involved in this very track, I don’t think I’ll settle for the more generic leftovers. Sorry.

#36 - “Free” - Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding

Produced by Calvin Harris

If this song debuted nine spots higher, I’d be five pounds richer. Anyway, this is the latest collab between the duo of Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding, coming really not that long after “Miracle”, and going for a… surprisingly very different approach, probably because Harris already rettried the formula with Sam Smith on “Desire”. Instead, Harris goes for an anthemic piano hardcore track that I felt the need to check WhoSampled for since it is so clearly referential, if not a straight throwback, to that era of 90s breakbeat rave with diva vocals. What’s wonderful about this modern revision, however, is not just the inclusion of webby synths to elevate the song to cosmic textures amidst the piano stabs but also how much Goulding is not a diva. She doesn’t belt as much as she careens smoothly through the mix, becoming a very breathy presence as she holds that “free” in the chorus, taking it to a really interesting, nuanced delivery that could have just been held in one note but was taken to more interesting levels, similar to how she could have punched in “free” to the “when I’m with you, I…” take but let herself fall short of the full line to not only get a more organic take but also to ensure the resolve of that line, when it’s finally completed, hits satisfyingly. Goulding brings a really unique and subtle approach, furthered by the lack of much in the way of lyrics, that textures Harris’ always top-notch production. The actual lengthening of the “free” vocal in the drop to hold the note before breaking down in a glitchy stutter behind the pianos and drums is a sick way to distinguish the chorus from what follows, and whilst I’m not exactly a fan of the muddier mix the factorial drums take in the verse afterwards, especially given the subtle, angelic melodies are the best asset this song has so covering them doesn’t do wonders, I appreciate the risk taken in regards to the progression of the song. It has a build-and-drop structure, but the two parts play off of each other and are placed within a more nuanced composition instead of just being there for clubs’ sake. What I’d really love to hear, however, are some remixes as, to my surprise, none exist yet for this song! Extended, five to eight minute edits of the fantastic foundation this song lays down, by other producers and DJs in breakbeat scenes, could turn what is a good song executed carefully but not perfectly, into something I adore if you bring the right guys on, especially if the remixers can trace their roots back into those classic 90s rave scenes. For now, this is good, but it can - and knowing Calvin Harris, probably will - be expanded upon into something genuinely transcendent with a little time and care.

#34 - “gen z luv” - Central Cee

Produced by Ambezza and Peter Iskander

…Excuse me? Are we doing this? Sigh, okay. The increasing memefication of a clearly talented and interesting Central Cee into a zoned-out crossover novelty rapper digs him deeper into mediocrity every time he releases some new gimmicky single, and “gen z luv”, as you may expect from its title, is no exception. It’s not just “gen z luv”, it’s “FYP love”, “IG love” and God, I have never felt older listening to a song. Hell, I feel second-hand embarrassment for Cench as whilst I’m sure the millions and easy access to Ice Spice helps for now, but if I were 40 years old looking back at my life accomplishments, and I saw “gen z luv”, I think I’d rediscover my relationship with the big guy upstairs. There’s a certain ugliness to parading the idea of having kids with his current relationship when he just ditched his long-time partner, who he previously referenced in “Doja”, for a viral pop-rapper, especially when above this garish production mixing cheap, muddy loops with half-finished drill percussion and an almost eerie key note reminiscent of Kanye West’s “Say You Will” more than anything actually loving or “Gen Z” for that matter.

The line “Usin’ words [that are] not my usual language” may be more telling than Cench thinks. He’s basically just rapping buzzwords and trendy phrases in about as smooth a way as someone in a board room taking algorithmic phrases they see spread on TikTok and Instagram would - for someone who is seemingly a part of the generation he’s “celebrating” on this song, there’s a lot of “how do you do, fellow kids?” energy to how he constructs the bars. A few highlights include that in the chorus, he bemoans that people call their love “childish”, and that he must agree because she’s his “baby” - gross! - and that he starts the first verse by basically giving a middle finger to the audience that he started out with, by saying “My crisis ain’t from cost of living”… man, fuck off. More than anything, this song just renders as sad and boring, but maybe I’m just not in tune with the youth of today or something because I saw how people older than me reacted to mid-2010s trap with a similar distaste. Cench just finds new ways to disappoint me and alienate anyone who either doesn’t understand or doesn’t give a shit about the kind of social media “aura” he surrounds himself with. When it comes down to it, this debuted lower than it should have for Cench. People want to hear bars, man. I don’t know what this really qualifies as but I’m damn sure a lot of the audience for his harder street drill cuts, or even a more general audience who found him through “Sprinter”, won’t care for this one at all, if it’s not just genuinely incomprehensible for them. And yes, I’m very much included in that last section.

#26 - “Guy for That” - Post Malone featuring Luke Combs

Produced by Louis Bell, Charlie Handsome and Hoskins

Posty’s fishing for another hit through the third of these country duets, this time with American megastar Luke Combs, who has charted decently in the UK before with his “Fast Car” cover. As I said before, the UK may not like country music too much, but it likes its big, gruff, rough-and-tumble singer-songwriters, and Combs fits that bill more so than, say, Morgan Wallen. Combs’ more homegrown and honest position in country worried me as it could be less of a neat fit for Post, who even in his country songs has his foot clearly embedded in the pop rock sphere, and yeah, this is evidently his weakest country track yet. This is Post’s third ode to bromance in this album cycle - which is of note when there’s only been three singles - but the detailed lyrics here give it an edge that not only is reminiscent of the same 90s and 2000s country he has in his “country forever” playlist on Spotify but also places it even further into Luke Combs’ territory. He’s been writing about fatherhood recently, so it’s fully in his wheelhouse to evoke the dad trope of having a “guy for that” - a friend you can call up or drive to for each and every little problem he may have. However, this may be Post’s least convincing performance thus far, as he stumbles on the wordiness of the verses and practically murmurs some of the chorus which fills so many words in and is so unnecessarily lengthy that it honestly confused me… and that’s because it tacks on relationship drama to the song for no real reason. Post hasn’t got a “guy for” fixing his relationship, but this seems so pointless when it’s only part of a song mostly preoccupied with listing near-comical situations. This sitcom of a song has Post so desperate to prove his fumbling warble over honestly stale country pop that he refuses to even let the fiddles have room to breathe - what does that tacked-on post-chorus riffing do other than muddy the momentum of the track, which is barely there in the first place?

Even Luke Combs performs bizarrely here as whilst his vocal tone makes more sense, he’s talking about knowing a guy who has a time machine and flexing about his brand new AP watch... what?! You’re Luke Combs, is that supposed to be a brag rap? I can accept being silly but when it comes in tiny flashes in an otherwise stale song, it stands out as tonally unfitting or just desperate. The duo really took the 2000s country pop throwback to its slightest detail as well, as unsubtle Auto-Tune is quietly smothered on some of Combs’ overly patched-up vocal. Why get Luke Combs on to practically take over the track, which ends with some cinematic petering off instead of an actual bridge or narrative resolution where the two can display any chemistry, if you’re going to take the soul out of his performance?

“I Had Some Help” was catchy enough to convince me somewhat on Post’s reinvention but the two following singles have demonstrated some wide open holes in how he approaches this genre, and how awfully the guest vocalists have been implemented. Part of that may be Louis Bell, whose production is fine but he and Post have yet to write any of these songs to have any impact or feel like anything more than a simple, breezy sing-a-long you don’t like but put up with when it plays on the radio during a road trip. Post’s uniquely ambivalent take on the country genre clearly comes from his history in pop-rap, but the last-minute clean-up has been slowly wearing thinner as more music from this album is released, and I am honestly worried that this upcoming album, which I was excited for previously, will end up just as faceless and subtly dysfunctional in the mode it wants to perceive itself in as this track was, purely for the sake of pushing Post headfirst into a trendy movement whilst sticking with songs short enough to gather virality, jeopardising the genuine chance it has to tell a story. I don’t like this song at all, and it has me really concerned if this malformed “duet” is what ends up being the last-ditch attempt at not having the Morgan collab overshadow the rollout entirely.

Conclusion

Yeah, it’s obvious who’s getting Worst of the Week here, though Central Cee’s “gen z luv” has genuine challenge from the Dishonourable Mention, “Lonely Road” by mgk and Jelly Roll. There was a lot this week that was pretty bad, though, but at least it was in an interesting way this time around, and there was a lot to balance it out: Charli xcx gets Best of the Week for “365” whilst Gigi Perez is trailing close behind with “Sailor Song” as the Honourable Mention. As for what’s on the horizon, Charli of course is coming with Billie but the rest may be a bit of an unexpected jumble of tracks - I can pray for Jamie xx and The Avalanches but it’s more likely we see some bubbling under songs get a good week to break through. For now though, thanks for reading, long live Cola Boyy and I’ll see you next week!

#pop music #song review #uk singles chart #post malone #luke combs #central cee #gen z luv #calvin harris #ellie goulding #sonny fodera #jazzy #d.o.d #gigi perez #charli xcx #jelly roll #mgk #aitch #d-block europe

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