#Lena: i mean yeah obviously when you put it that way
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docholligay · 2 years ago
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Lena just “God, I’m so tired of people being misled and kept in the dark about my death by a bunch of red tape and shadowy ubergovernmental agencies, I am going to mislead and keep people in the dark about my death MYSELF.” Truly inspiring in the field of poorly conceived ideas.
Not to mention her cutting edge reaction of “Well good, if you’re angry with me, it won’t bother you much when I die”
I AM GLAD YOU HAVE FUN WITH THIS I OBVIOUSLY DO AS WELL.
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autisticlenaluthor · 1 year ago
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Midnight
“I’ve got you!” Kara says in the morning when Lena trips over trips over the blanket discarded on the floor. Before Lena can fall, she lunges forward and catches her in her arms— graceful as ever. For a second, they both laugh. 
“My hero,” Lena says through her giggles. She kisses her and boops her nose. “Thank you.” 
“I’ve got you,” Supergirl says when another L Corp press conference is attacked. As the crowd runs in every which direction— scattering across the park like flies, Lena makes a beeline for her. She ducks down and throws her hands over her head— Kara immediately crouching over her. Like the wind, her cape blows over Lena’s body and shields her. When shots fire, they bounce right off. They’re nothing but a startling bang and flattened bullet. 
“I’ve got you,” Kara says again, her hand holding firm on Lena’s arm. “I’ll get you out of here.” 
“I’ve got you,” Kara affirms at game night when it’s time to pick teams. “Right?” 
Lena grins and rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”
 
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Kara says, pulling Lena aside to hand her a coffee.
Lena blushes bright red.
“Kara!” Her voice is an octave higher than normal but she can’t help it. Of course Kara would interpret her disgruntled texts about how she was running late and wouldn’t have time to stop at Noonans as an invitation to buy the drink for her. “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“I know, I wanted to. And you really can’t function without caffeine.” 
Lena bows her head and smiles. They’ve got an 8am CatCo staff meeting in five minutes– she really did need the boost.
Running her index finger over the rim of the cup, Lena bites her bottom lip. “You really are my favorite- you know that?” 
“I know.” Kara grins. “But I love when you remind me.”
 
“I’ve got you,” Kara whispers, half asleep. Lena curls into her, shaking like a leaf as she reaches out to hug her around the neck. 
Through the darkness, Kara can just barely make out the spotty tears on Lena’s cheeks. She’s frowning, chin quivering, but still, fighting to keep the rest inside. Kara wraps her arms around her and gently pulls her close. 
She’s no stranger to nightmares either– to seeing the images of her worst days projected onto the backs of her eyelids like a looping movie she can’t escape. In moments like these, she’s almost grateful they’ve been through it so many times together. It means she knows exactly what Lena needs to feel better. 
“It’s okay,” Kara breathes, carefully rubbing Lena’s back. “You’re safe. It’s just a dream.” 
Wordlessly, Lena sniffs. She holds Kara a little tighter– her way of reminding herself that she’s real, she isn’t going anywhere. 
“You’re safe,” Kara says again. “He can’t get to you.”
“It’s okay– I’ve got you.”
Kara drapes Lena’s coat over her shoulders and puts her arm around her, effectively shielding her from the crowded clamor of the gala. At midnight, the party is still roaring. A scene with noise and flashing lights Lena hit her limit on half an hour ago. 
Lena nods to herself, pressing her body closer to Karas. For a second– she doesn’t have the discretion to think about being caught in her moment of weakness. She doesn’t care about being watched or gawked at. 
Because they planned for this weeks ago. Because Kara knows when Lena says they need to go, it means they need to go now. Because they never go to an event without knowing where the service exit is.
Before Lena knows it, they’re hidden away in a private hallway, on their way out of the building.
“You alright?” Kara checks. 
Lena nods and manages a small smile. 
“Yeah,” she whispers. “I know you’ve got me.”
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comic-book-jawns · 7 months ago
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Ricochet
“I’m sorry.”
Andrea truly doesn’t want to hurt Lena. She never has.
But this conversation is already nine months overdue. Well, nine months, plus three years. And if she’s doesn’t take advantage of this adrenaline high, she’s not sure when she’ll get the nerve back.
“For how I left.”
The way Lena tenses and crosses her arms tighter around herself tells Andrea she doesn’t have to elaborate.
“It’s fine. It’s not your fault I threw myself at you. And I’m the one who ran first.”
Well, yes, and Andrea obviously does not regret not kissing a 14-year-old back a few days before she left for college.
“I couldn’t give you what you wanted. But I… I could’ve give you closure.”
Lena scoffs.
“I would never have let you.”
Andrea thought so too — it’s how she eventually convinced herself that ghosting her only real friend from boarding school had been for the best.
It’s only occurred to her over the past few months that that was never the point.
“You would’ve known that I’d tried.”
***
Lena had really thought (cringey as it was) that she might actually cry if they won ICCA’s. If she played a part in making Kara’s dream since her freshman year come true.
Only Lena hadn’t really caught on that doing so had become her dream somewhere along the way. And, well, with her track record of dreams coming true…
Unfortunately, turns out that disassociating over placing first in a fucking a cappella competition is far more mortifying than tearing up.
Especially in front of someone like Kara. Not that there is someone else like her.
So she’s supposes she should be rather grateful to her team captain for bringing her back to reality… by bringing up her most mortifying experience of all time.
Of course, crying over your childhood crush saying sorry for not like you back is also quite cringey. But Lena’s dignity has lost sight of the shoreline at this point.
“So, yeah, that - that’s what I wanted to say. In case, being a complete bitch to you since August hasn’t been a sufficient apology.”
On the one hand, Lena is surprised by the genuine laugh that bursts out of her amidst the tears. On the other hand, Andrea is the only person who’s ever rivaled Lena’s dry sense of humor.
“I know it’s not an excuse, but… it was easier than worrying about disappointing you again.”
Already nodding along, ready to wrap this up, Lena freezes when she actually process what Andrea said.
“What?”
At the time, she’d been so blinded by hurt and shame for letting herself dream she ever stood a chance that she’d never even tried to put herself in her ex-best friend’s shoes.
It didn’t occur to her until she was actually getting ready for college herself that she had no idea what she’d do if a 14-year-old girl kissed her out of the blue and said she was in love with her.
Not that that was a remote possibility, Lena having sworn off friendship after convincing herself that Andrea had never given a shit about her.
Trying to convice herself, that is. Because she knew deep down that it was a lie. And that was the most excruciating part.
Still, knowing teenage Andrea had cared about her in some form… Well, Lena hadn’t just run into her at the Activies Fair three years later — very alarmed because it was not school Andrea had left for that summer — and assumed…
“I could never get your face out of my head.”
Humiliating, Lena feels herself blush, full well knowing Andrea didn’t mean it like that, and scratches at her wet cheeks as cover.
“No matter what Lex and your mother did, you - you wouldn’t cry. And I was always relieved.”
Oh? Lena’s not really sure what to say to that. But what really catches her off-guard is the sudden rasp in Andrea’s voice. And when she finally looks at the older girl for the first time since she joined her out here in the parking lot, she finds her swallowing harshly.
“Because I knew how to distract you. I was good at it.”
Andrea meets her gaze with an even more jarring attempt at a smile.
“But in the end, it was me.”
Andrea turns fully away then, her back to Lena, so all she can see is the hand running stiltedly through dark hair still pulled into a bun.
“I made you cry.”
Lena doesn’t need to see her face, though.
***
Precariously carrying five cups of steaming hot tea in her bare hands — every kind available; you’d think a singing competition would have a more robust selection?! — Kara considers it quite an accomplishment that she doesn’t immediately give herself third-degree burns when she finally finds the freshman in the parking lot.
Successfully placing them all down on the pavement doesn’t prove to be much easier, but Kara isn’t willing to tempt fate when she’s so preoccupied with the scene in front of her.
Kara does consider her fellow senior a friend, but more in the way she considers a lot of acquaintances her friends. And, frankly, her treatment of Lena has driven a wedge between them that Kara’s doesn’t know if she’s all that interested in dislodging.
Sure, Kara had eventually convinced her that Lena is the team’s future, literally.
The reason they’d used the same repertoire for years was because no one knew how to arrange new material. Nothing better than what they already had at least.
Andrea had never admitted their severely lacking musicianship, of course. So Kara had done it for her… after not defending Lena when she’d previously had the chance.
The point is Kara’s friendship with Lena “it’s just math” Luthor is her priority. She can live with never speaking to Andrea again after graduation. The thought of anything changing between her and Lena after graduation has been making her nauseous for weeks.
“So… Kara?”
Kara doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, she swears. Honestly, she’d kind of expected them to pick up on her presence whether she dropped the cups or not. But it seems the pair is still in their own little bubble, Andrea demurely wiping her face while pulling back from the embrace. Lena keeps her close, though, loosely holding her elbows.
“Kara?”
“I know, Lena.”
“Know what?”
Kara definitely should’ve turned around by now. She’s hardly in a position to get self-righteous about secrets when she has yet to tell her best friend that she won’t be leaving campus, after all.
Staying on for a Master’s in Journalism hadn’t been her plan even back in the fall. But a lot has happened between now and then, so.
Andrea sighs with none of her characteristic exasperation.
“I knew you had feelings for me before you kissed me.”
Kara is positive the only reason she doesn’t audibly gasp is because she’s too shocked. Well, that and Lena scoffs loudly as she takes a step back.
She’d figured that Lena and Andrea had a history, per se. But her mind had never gone… there.
“No, you didn’t.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t act like it.”
“How was I supposed to act?”
In four years, Kara has never heard Andrea speak so gently, without even a hint of condescension to boot.
Lena’s more choked scoff seems to suggest she’s not used to it either… and that Kara is probably missing something.
“You don’t have to believe me. And if you want to tell me I’m wrong about Kara, go ahead.”
Yeah, she’s definitely missing something.
“But… if you want to tell me I’m right, I certainly wouldn’t discourage that either.”
Lena’s chuckles in that beautifully thick way she does when Kara gushes over one of her mash-ups profusely enough.
“Fuck you.”
“Still too young for this ride, sweetie. Sorry.”
Kara can’t help her eye roll at Andrea gesturing at her own body like it’s a letter on Wheel of Fortune. But then Andrea frowns, which makes slightly more sense when Kara hears Lena’s abruptly dejected tone.
“It’s the same.”
“What is?”
“You - you and me. Me and Kara. It’s the same age gap.”
“Yes, but I’ve known you since you were a baby.”
“Seven.”
Even as her mind races — scrambling for the missing context — Kara can still hear Lena’s scowl clear as day. Andrea waves dismissively.
“Same difference.”
But then she takes a step forward, her arms hovering pretty awkwardly for someone who was just clinging to Lena a minute ago before she settles them on Lena’s shoulders.
“You jump. I jump. Okay?”
Kara recognizes the quote instantly, but it doesn’t clear anything up for her. Other than it means something to Lena, judging by the way she loops her arm through Andrea’s and leisurely leads them further out into the parking lot.
So they’re thankfully well out of earshot by the time Kara accidentally kicks over all the cups.
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pippytmi · 3 years ago
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16 + 4 + 2 (werewolf supercorp?)
It is not uncommon for Kara to wake up in a puddle of blood.
At this point she is immune to the shock that comes with it, really. She has adapted; knows all the best tricks to get stains out of her clothes, knows all the best laundromats that don’t ask any questions. Heck, she even has Alex’s ex-girlfriend on speed dial, just in case there is a freak chance the blood Kara wakes up in might be human (it has not happened yet, knock on wood).
But there are other parts that still take some getting used to. Like, for example, the loss of memory that comes with every night of the full moon. Because yeah, she understands why she wakes up in a pool of blood. What she doesn’t understand is why this time around she wakes up in a pool of her own blood, and in so much pain that it hurts to open her eyes.
“Ow,” Kara whispers to herself, twisting onto her side with a groan. Her clothes are gone—no surprise—but even as she is laying down on the cold, rocky forest floor, the only thing she can focus on is how much her head hurts. She’s dealt with branch scratches, sore legs and arms, the occasional plethora of bug bites, but never a headache. Her one comfort is that at least she has made it into the backyard of Sam’s cabin. It takes a considerable amount of strength to push herself up off the ground; walking is going to be much harder than anticipated.
If Alex saw her now, she'd—well first she would hit Kara over the head and yell at her about being dumb, but afterwards she would snicker. And probably hit her over the head again for good measure.
“Oh my God—!”
Okay, it’s official. Kara is now dead. Even if the stranger gawking at her is not the one who kills her, Alex definitely will.
And it’s that thought that makes Kara drop right back down on the floor, knocking the wind right out of her lungs, and she groans into the dirt pitifully.
“Oh, fuck,” the stranger whispers, almost as if to herself, scrambling to come to Kara’s side. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck this shit. Fuck!” Said stranger belatedly claps a hand over her mouth, green eyes widening in horror. “Holy shit, are you alive?”
Kara pitifully rests her cheek against the ground and tries not to look too offended. “Uh, kind of,” she replies. (So this must not be Sam’s cabin, then.) “Sorry. Am I in your yard? It is a very nice yard. Five stars.”
“No, it’s not my—I’m house-sitting,” the woman explains, though she is giving Kara a look that says really? That’s what you want to focus on right now?
“Well, it’s still a nice place,” Kara says, because she is polite and small talk is always a good thing to fall back on when you’re naked on a pile of dead leaves. “Wait, I don’t suppose you’re house-sitting for Sam, are you? Sam Arias, super tall, has a daughter who is freakishly good at checkers?”
Stranger-who-swears-like-a-sailor frowns. “How do you know Sam?” she asks suspiciously.
“She dated my sister. It was a whole—it’s a thing,” Kara says. “You know?”
“Wait. Are you Kara? Are you Alex’s sister?”
“Yes! So you do know!” Kara would grin if her face were capable of any emotion besides mind-shattering pain. “Then you must be Sam’s friend…uh, bear with me…Lena? Or Jess?”
“Lena,” says the woman, still notably wary, so Kara makes the decision to wiggle until she can prop herself up her elbows and look less, well, like a corpse.
“Hey, got it in one!” Kara says as cheerfully as she can muster. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. And can I just—uh, say—that you don’t have to worry. I won’t die here or anything. I know you would obviously be the number one suspect for murder and it wouldn’t be nice of me to put you through that.”
“…right. Never mind that you would be dead, or anything.” Lena begins to shakily unbutton her coat like a woman possessed, as if her doubt has morphed entirely into concern now that she has confirmation the freak naked in Sam’s backyard is not an entire stranger. “Here, this is long enough to cover you. Do you—do you need help getting up?”
“No, no, I’ve got it, thank you,” Kara insists, and gradually, she manages; she shifts sideways and then tentatively onto her butt, and accepts the coat when it’s all but thrown at her face. There is blood mixed in with the leaves and general guck beneath her, and she winces at the sight. “I’ll come back and clean this later,” she’s quick to add, and Lena frowns in response.
“Are you serious? Forget cleaning, you need—stitches, at the very least. I can take you to the hospital if—”
“Oh no, you don’t have to do that!” Kara blurts out, and with the adrenaline from that burst of energy she’s able to scramble to her feet. She is shaky, unsteady, but she manages to stay upright at least and she’ll count that as a win. “Shoot. I’m sorry for yelling. I just—no hospitals. I can’t do hospitals.” She has never had to form an excuse for this, and her mouth can’t quite wrap around the right words.
But Lena—green eyes wide and unsure, skin pale in the early morning light—nods, like she understands. “Okay,” she says. “No hospitals.”
“Thanks,” Kara mumbles, wrapping the coat tightly around herself. There are startling black spots in her vision and her head still feels like it was used as a piñata; she wonders what the heck her next move should be now. If Sam needs someone to house-sit, she must be out of the city. And if Sam is out of the city, Kara can’t exactly waltz into Sam’s house to wash all the blood off her body (and then call up Alex from the couch while stealing whatever ice cream Ruby picked). Sam lets her do that, sure, but that’s Sam. It would be pretty rude to do that when Lena is right here.
“Do you…” And Lena pauses, nose scrunching up as if something has just occurred to her. “I can give you a ride somewhere else, if you’d like. Back to your house?”
“No, that’s okay,” Kara hurries to decline, because how can she really explain that she lives in an apartment, and that if little old Mrs. Jensen saw her coming up covered in blood she’d finally succumb to her third heart attack? “Can I just use Sam’s phone to call my sister? Then I’ll come right back out here, I promise.”
“Why would you come back out here again?” Underneath her coat, Lena is wearing plaid pajama pants that are rolled at the ankle (Sam’s, most likely), and a tank top that is extremely fitted. Very, very well fitted. Like, you-can-tell-it’s-frigidly-cold-outside-kind-of-fitted.
Kara coughs and tries not to let on how her train of thought has twisted. “Because…I’m a stranger?” she tries. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Remember, if you die I’m going to be the first one they question,” Lena says, tilting her head expectantly in the direction of Sam’s cabin. “Come inside, warm up. Call your sister.” All things considered, she is far more concerned than Kara expected her to be—as if, somehow, ridding herself of the weirdo walking around bloody and probably concussed isn’t the very first thing on Lena’s mind.
So Kara doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth; she accepts the offer. It’s a small comfort that if she really does get murdered by a total stranger, it won’t be while cold and naked.
Lena goes right into Sam’s room the instant they go inside, already gathering a million outfits for Kara to pick through. “The shower is fickle, but it does have hot water,” she says, adding a towel to the pile in Kara’s arms when she re-emerges. “You just have to—”
“Hit the wall twice, and give it a few seconds,” Kara finishes. “Yeah, Sam reminds me every time.”
“So you…visit Sam often, do you?”
“Uh.” And suddenly, despite the long, cold night she’s had, the air indoors feels a bit warmer than is comfortable. “Only sometimes.” Once a month, Kara thinks, and Lena crosses her arms and just stares.
Really stares, dragging those sharp green eyes up and down Kara’s whole body. Squints at the scratches on her face, scrunches her nose at the way Kara awkwardly shifts from side to side. Finally Lena speaks, and it’s only to say, “It’s you, isn’t it?”
“...come again?”
“It’s you. Sam told me she’s been helping out a friend with a—furry predicament—”
If it were possible to choke on air, Kara would be dead right now. “Did she really call it furry? But she’s also—!” She has to pause, now, because she feels an urge to clarify, “Wait. Are we talking about the same thing right now?”
Lena narrows her eyes slightly. “You mean talking about how you’re a werewolf?”
“Oh!” Head lighter, Kara sucks in a laugh that makes her ribs feel like they are splintering open. “Then yes. That’s good, I didn’t want you to think I was a—anyway. I didn’t think Sam told anyone.”
“Sam and I have been friends for a long time,” Lena says slowly. A beat. “She actually ate my hamster once.”
Kara winces. “Recently?”
“No! Back in the fifth grade,” Lena frowns, like she might’ve added dumbass at the end of the sentence. “I’m a grown woman. I don’t own hamsters.”
“What? Come on, having pets isn’t just a kid thing,” Kara says. “I used to have a cat, but he…”
“Oh my God, you ate him?”
Kara’s jaw drops. “What—no! He turned out to already have an owner, so she took him back. He just liked to wander into my apartment.” She hugs the clothing pile tighter to her chest, and tries her hardest to scowl. “I’m responsible, okay? Most of the time. I’m not dangerous.”
“Except to deer, or rabbits, or whatever else you killed last night?” Lena quirks an eyebrow, but surprisingly not in a manner that’s judge-y. Just…curious.
“Right,” Kara says defeatedly, and her head throbs enough that her grip on Sam’s clothes begins to falter. “Sorry. I wasn't trying to be defensive or anything.”
“That's alright.” And stranger still, Lena reaches out to gently touch the side of Kara’s head. “So does the same thing happen to you?”
“Huh?” The proximity has scrambled Kara’s brain momentarily, and she finds herself unthinkingly holding her breath.
“Do you also black out,” Lena clarifies. “Like Sam does, every time she shifts.”
“Oh. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s—a universal wolf thing,” Kara says.
Lena hums, and her hand retracts. “And are you a serial killer in wolf form?”
“Uh, I hope not? I’m pretty sure all this is…” Kara gestures over her body with one hand, still hugging the pile of clothes with the other. “Not human.”
“Okay.” Lena casually walks away, but pauses to throw over her shoulder, “I’ll help you clean up your head once you’re out of the shower. I’ve helped Sam a hundred times.”
“Are you—do you have some kind of healing magic, or—”
“Close. I’m an ER nurse,” Lena says amusedly, and when she smiles a dimple emerges on one cheek. “All the witches I know have fled the city, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”
“You joke, but Alex dated this witch once, and she hexed my sister to spill her first sip of coffee every time she went to take a drink for three weeks straight after they broke up,” Kara says, and Lena again scrunches her nose in that quizzical way.
“Seriously? Witches are real too?”
“Duh,” Kara says lightly. “What, you thought it stopped at werewolves? Please. I’m pretty sure the neighbor two doors down is a gorgon.”
“Well, it would explain her fondness of statues,” Lena says, strangely nonplussed. “I’ve never asked, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. How do you take your coffee?” As she asks, Lena deposits a few fingers of whiskey into a mug, and at Kara’s questioning look says, “Sorry, we’re all out of painkillers. This is as good as you’re going to get.”
“Maybe I’ll do better if it’s straight,” Kara says, unable to hide her grimace, while Lena shrugs a shoulder as if to say it’s your funeral.
So after Kara showers, she sits on the couch and sips gross whiskey out of a chipped mug that reads World’s Best Mom in bright pink letters. Lena has turned on the TV to the local news station—clearly she has stayed with Sam before—and a man on screen is recounting a tale of how he hit a giant wolf strolling too close to his farm with a baseball bat.
“If I had my shotgun I would’ve killed the fucker,” he swears, red in the face, and above her Lena gives a little scoff.
“What a dick,” Lena says, her hand steadily stitching up the wound on Kara’s scalp, and her voice has a hint of an accent; it’s really cute, actually, and Kara doesn’t even mind that the next poke of the needle is sharper than the others.
It is the strangest morning Kara has ever had. Drinking whiskey before eight in the morning, with a kind stranger who she’s barely met but is suturing her skin together, who smells faintly of lavender soap and strong black coffee.
“—National City is not safe when wolves are wandering close to homes—”
The scent of rich hot chocolate bubbling on the stove is beginning to fill the room, the ancient pipes are rumbling throughout the walls, and Lena’s fingers are soft against her head. Kara closes her eyes and decides that she will wait a little longer before she calls Alex to pick her up.
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supercorpkid · 3 years ago
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Alex Danvers (Aunt).
Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader
Word Count: 1920.
“Guess who got a call from the president of the United States yesterday?” Alex asks, sitting on the table, where your entire family is already waiting for her to have dinner.
“Let me guess,” Kara pretends. “Her husband?”
“HA-HA. Me. Obviously.” She goes on, unaffected. “She wanted to talk to the Director of the DEO, because she wants to give some medals to a few heroes.”
“Oh, so she called you but really she wanted to talk to me?” It’s your momma’s response, and everyone laughs at her.
“Sorta. But also, no. She wants to give medals to all of the Superfriends, including me.”
“That’s nice.” Sam squeezes her shoulder with a loving smile. “Congratulations, hun.”
“Thank you. But if you all don’t mind, I’d like to read the e-mail that was sent to me after the call.”
There’s no excitement in every one’s ‘ok’ and ‘yeah’, but Alex ignores it as she begins to read on her phone.
“Director Danvers,
Here’s a list of heroes we would like to be there to receive their medals. Please let me know which ones can attend.
Supergirl, Brainiac 5, Dreamer, Sentinel, Superkid,”
You get an elbow on your arm with a bright smile coming from Kara. You smile too.
“Miss Martian, Martian Manhunter,”
Alex continues, then raises an eyebrow before clearing her throat and adding,
“and Shadow Helper.”
“WHAT?” You spit out, along with your drink. You cough, and Lena pats your back so you can calm down. You still choke when you speak. “I made the list… TWICE?”
“It seems that way.” Alex smiles at you and you almost can’t see her, when Kara throws her arms around your head, squeezing you tight.
“Oh, Rao. I’ve never been prouder in my life.” She manages between her excited sobs, is she crying? “My baby will get two medals!”
“Thanks, momma.” You spit her hair out of your mouth.
“Congratulations, babygirl.” Lena gets in the hug too, you guess, by another pair of arms around your waist. “Guess Shadow Helper is a hero after all.” She adds, with a little bit of bitterness in her voice, and you know she means to badger Alex for calling you a vigilante.
“How?” Jamie says, and both of your moms let go of you so you can look at her. You try to fix your hair. “How are you getting two medals?”
“Umm, ‘cause I’m awesome?” You feel the need to defend yourself, although you do wonder how the hell you of all people are getting so recognized.
“Yeah, duh.” She agrees. “I mean, how will both Superkid and Shadow Helper be there at the same time to get their medals?”
“Oh.”
That’s a good question, indeed. Something you didn't consider at all. Still, with all the worrisome this question brings, you’re glad Jamie didn’t mean how you of all people could be deserving of two medals, when more important heroes like Supergirl herself only got one.
“Don’t worry about it.” Alex says, getting you out of your thoughts. “We’ll work on something. An emergency that would require your help, maybe?”
“Wait, the Shadow suit… You can’t really see who’s inside.” Lena adds on your side, and you agree with your head.
“That’s true. Ideally both Shadow and Super would be there.” You look around on the table. You had your growth spurt, so you are a lot taller than most of the people sitting here. “Um, godmother, would you?”
“Oh, me? Really?” Sam bites her lips, clearly thinking this wouldn’t go this way and that you wouldn’t end up needing her of all people to impersonate a superhero.
“Just, you know, height wise.” You give her a pleading, forced smile.
“I can do it!” Jamie says with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. “I can wear heels and besides, no one ever saw a thing about Shadow, right?”
“Yeah,” Kara agrees. “And she will, you know, kind of disappear in a bit.”
“I will?” You furrow your brows. Then it dawns you, her comment from a few days ago. No, no, no. Don’t say it out loud. Don’t say it in front of everyone.
“Superkid as well.” Kara puts her hand on your shoulder and gives everyone a big grin. “It’s time she becomes…”
“Something’s burning!” You get up from the table and run out of the dining room and into the kitchen.
That’s a lie. There’s nothing burning. You don’t think there’s even something on the oven to burn. Well, you better do it yourself, then.
“Don’t even think about it.” Alex walks in the kitchen and sees you with a pan in your hands. Oops.
“I was saving you!” You try, earning a chuckle and an eye roll in response.
“Kiddo, you ran out of there so fast; I was scared you were going to stop in Gotham.”
“Shit.” You mumble under your breath. “Do you think they all-”
“Noticed? I’m gonna go with yes on that one.” Alex comes closer, leaning on the counter in front of you. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
“No, it’s-” Then you think a little bit about it. “You know what? Yeah. I should talk to you. You didn’t want momma to become Supergirl and you don’t think I'm a hero, so maybe you have all the reasons why I shouldn’t take Supergirl’s name.”
“Wow, wow, wait a minute there. There are a lot of incorrect information in those sentences.” You raise an eyebrow at her. “Don’t go Lena on me.” She says about the eyebrow, and you smile. “I think you’re an awesome hero! The best!”
“Oh please, what about the whole ‘if you don’t work with the government you’re a vigilante’? Huh? That sure didn’t feel like you think I’m a hero at all.” You cross your arms. Guess you were bitter about it, and this came up as soon as you had the chance to. Oh, well.
“That wasn’t me! That was Director Danvers!” You can’t help another eyebrow raise. “I couldn’t be prouder of you, kiddo.”
“Please, aunt Alex, just be honest. You don’t think I could be Supergirl. It’s ok, really. Just give me the reasons why.”
“I think you would be an amazing Supergirl. And I’ll love to be on your side to help you with it.” Alex moves closer, holding your hand. “I’ve always known you would become Supergirl.”
“Yeah, well, that was always momma’s idea for a retirement plan, wasn’t it?”
“Not because of that.” She squeezes your hand, gently. “I’ve watched you grow into this strong, smart woman. You’ve done so much as Shadow Helper, and even more as Superkid. You’re a teen who’s getting two medals of recognition for your wonderful work. What makes you more deserving to have the Supergirl name than that?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping you would tell me.”
“I’ll tell you one thing,” Alex breathes out, like she is holding the biggest truth she’s ever spoken. “It’s hard. When you find that thing that makes you, you. And you feel that’s going to change the rest of your life. And you’re just trying to make sense of it all, and it sounds so complicated.”
You look up to her, and you wonder if she’s talking from experience.
“I’m just- What I’m trying to say, kiddo, is that you’re not alone.” Your aunt’s eyes are full of tears, and you notice you too are trying to keep yours inside. “You will never be alone. You were born to be exceptional, with or without powers, with or without this big brain of yours.” She pokes your head, and you smile at her. “So don’t hold back. Don’t do what other people expect you to. If you don’t want to be Supergirl, that’s ok. Tell Kara that this is not what you want for your life, and she’ll understand. But honey, don’t ask me to tell you why you don’t deserve it or why you shouldn’t be who you already are.”
You don’t know what you say. You think you’ve never had a bigger truth bomb dropped at you than this one. Is that what you’re doing? You’re waiting on people to tell you why you don’t deserve the Supergirl name just because you don’t feel worthy of it?
“Think about it.” Alex kisses your head, like one of your moms would do, and slips back into the dining room, leaving you alone in the kitchen.
“I should-” You hear Kara’s voice.
“Maybe Lena.” Alex stops her, and no longer than a minute later, your mom walks into the kitchen. You’re still in the exact same place as Alex left you, with so much on your mind, you miss Lena’s question the first time.
“Hey.” She touches your face, trying to make you come back from your own mind. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” You breathe out. Not fine. “Just a little surprised with, you know, the two medals I’m supposed to be getting.”
“Why? Superkid saved the world a few times.” Lena pulls you into a hug. “And I heard Shadow Helper assisted the police with catching one of the biggest drug dealers in the city, and more.”
“They both did that. You’re right.”
“Oh, I know. I’m always right.” Lena kisses your head, holding your hand. “Come on, let’s have dinner. You can worry about how you’re going to get both medals later.”
Turns out, it all worked out just fine. Shadow was never seen, and with your suit Jamie is unrecognizable. So she’s getting the medal for you, and you’re dressed in a new Superkid suit Lena had just made for you.
The suit feels weird. Tight. Limiting. And at the same time, empty. It doesn’t feel like yours anymore. You try to fake it with your smile, but the sweat on your forehead doesn’t lie.
“To Superkid.” You hear and break out of your thoughts. “A medal for helping the Superfriends save National City, whenever she was needed. Showing that heroism doesn’t come with age, but with heart.”
A medal is put around your neck, and you smile at it, while Kara throws her arms around you, looking as proud as she possibly could.
“To Shadow Helper.” You hear next. “Even though no one has ever seen your face, you’ve given hope for the people in National City, and the world. You are proof that no job is small enough, and that real heroes help whoever needs it.”
Your smile grows even bigger, while a medal is put around Jamie’s neck. You like those words. No job is small enough, and heroism doesn’t come with age. That’s 100% you.
You look at your mom in the audience, with tears in her eyes, and a big smile on her lips. Kara doesn’t even have to say anything for you to know how proud she feels. Then you meet Alex’s eyes. She gives you a small nod.
She doesn’t have to say a word. You see it all in her loving eyes and supporting nod. She is there for whatever you decide to do next, because she thinks you’re deserving of it all.
You let out a breath, and your most truthful smile comes to yourself. You are deserving of these medals, you are deserving of the Super name, and no one needs to tell you this. You feel it in your soul.
Let the future come. You’re ready for it, especially because you know that your family and friends will be there to support you along the way.
103 notes · View notes
mischiefandspirits · 3 years ago
Text
Bernard Figures It Out
Was reading through all the comments on @frostbittenbucky's post and all I could think of was that it was Bernard talking to Tim. Then I got to thinking...
"I've connected the two dots."
"You didn't connect shit."
"I've connected them."
Bernard figures out Tim's a superhero... sort of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tim fidgetted nervously as he waited on the front porch of his boyfriend’s house. Bernard had sounded so serious when he’d called during Tim’s lunch to ask him to come over after work so they could talk about something.
Which Tim had done, after spending an entire board meeting just going over the past week trying to figure out what he’d done.
The only thing he could think of was that he’d ducked out halfway through their lunch date on Wednesday to give Duke some backup, but Bernard had seemed understanding when Tim explained there was an emergency at GRC Labs. It couldn’t have been a tipping point, either, since Tim had managed to only flake on three other dates over the past few months they’d been dating. Kate had been happy to cover for him as often as she could “out of queer solidarity” when she found out Tim was dating a boy for the first time and Tim had managed to trick Bruce into covering a few actual Wayne Enterprises emergencies for him when they came up.
There had to be a reason Bernard was breaking up with him, though. Had he missed something? He definitely wasn’t forgetting an important day. He was good with days and Tam was even better, so she would have reminded him on the off chance that he had forgotten.
What was he missing?
Bernard was smiling when he opened the door, but there was a nervous energy to it that had Tim’s stomach sinking. “Hey, Tim.”
“Hey.” Tim gave his own nervous smile then slipped inside.
They went into the living room and sat down on the couch.
Tim frowned when Bernard grabbed a manila folder off the coffee table. Crud, had he screwed up enough that Bernard had had to make a list? He knew he was new to dating a guy, but he hadn’t thought he’d done that bad. He’d really been trying, especially with how his and Stephanie’s relationship had fallen apart at the end. “What -”
“Just let me speak, Tim,” Bernard said, waiting for Tim’s nod. “Okay, so you know Clark Kent, right?”
Tim blinked as Bernard opened the folder to show a picture of Clark. It looked like one of the employee pictures from the Planet’s website, with his dorky “I’m just a humble country boy” smile and the golden globe from their roof photoshopped in as the background. “Uh, yeah? I think so. He works for the Daily Planet, right? I think he’s worked at a few of Bruce’s events. Not a lot of outside reporters are willing to come to Gotham.”
“Exactly!” Bernard said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Tim.
“What?”
He pulled out the picture to show the next page was an article titled, “DAILY PLANET REPORTER… BATMAN!?”
A wave of relief washed over Tim and he placed his face in his hands. “Were you up all night on the hero conspiracy boards again?”
“No. I mean, I found this on a board and was up all night thinking about it, but I found it reasonably early.”
“One in the morning isn’t reasonable, Bernard.”
“Says the guy who’s always wide awake when I call to infodump.”
“Touché.” Tim leaned against Bernard and gave him a smile. “So tell me, why is some reporter from Metropolis from all places Batman.”
“First of all, living in Metropolis is the perfect cover. Everyone assumes Batman would live in Gotham, no one would consider he could be from anywhere else. Metropolis is outside the GMA, but close enough that the commute is still possible.”
“But it’s Metropolis.”
“And who would think Gotham’s Dark Knight lives in the sunshine capital? Plus, I hear he disappears a lot on the job. There’s gotta be a reason for it!”
Tim made a note to let Clark know he needs to cut back on the disappearing act some since people are catching on.
“And have you seen the guy? He is swol AF, babe.”
“Please don’t call me babe while you’re talking about how hot another guy is.” Especially Tim’s honorary uncle.
“You know I prefer twinks.”
“BERNARD!”
“I’m just saying,” he continued, ignoring Tim’s shout. “The guy is definitely hiding something! Besides, Kent is an investigative reporter. He’s gotta know a lot about cases and the underground and detective work.”
Not as much as he likes people to think, but more than he likes people to know Superman does, Tim mused. “But what about the other vigilantes?”
“Well, Kent has a cousin…” Bernard flipped through a folder and pulled out a picture of Kara. It looked like a screenshot of her interviewing Lena for CatCo. “She’s obviously the latest Batgirl. Look at her hair. And the first Batgirl and the current Batwoman were obviously Lois Lane, the red hair is just a wig. Did you see how she kicked butt at that last event she went to? She’s not as subtle as Kent. That means their son is the latest Robin. He’s exactly the right size.”
Oh, Damian better not hear about this, Tim cackled internally. His youngest brother hated being reminded that Jon was the same height as him despite their two years age difference. Damian definitely took after Talia when it came to body type, no matter what he said.
“And Kent also has a brother.” This time he pulled out a picture of Kon. The clone must have been caught by a reporter out shopping with Ma since he was carrying some paper bags and glaring at whoever was behind the camera. “At least, he’s supposedly Kent’s brother, but he was a teenager when he first showed up with the Kents. A lot of people think he’s actually Kent’s son, that Kent got a girl pregnant when they were teenagers and something happened to the mom so Kent had to take him in. Now the Kents are trying to hide it by saying the two are brothers.”
That was… scarily accurate actually. Especially given Luthor and Clark were close friends at the time that Kon would have theoretically been born.
“And that beef would explain why the younger Kent brother went all crime lord on Gotham for a while before reconnecting with the family.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, Kent Jr.’s got the perfect build for Red Hood.”
Tim bit back a comment on how Kon was shorter than Jason by a good foot. Timothy Drake-Wayne should not know that. Add Jason to the list of people who can’t hear this theory.
“And then there’s this girl,” Bernard picked up a picture of Lois, Jon, and Natasha Irons walking down the street together. “No one’s sure exactly who she is, but she’s been spotted with the Kents a few times. I think the cover story is that she’s Jon’s babysitter.”
“And the actual story?”
“She’s Black Bat, obviously. That’s why she wears a mask that fully covers her face. She doesn’t want to stand out as the only African American Bat.”
“Isn’t Signal also Black?”
“Yeah, but he works in the daytime so he’s already a standout.”
“And who is Signal in this? And what about Nightwing and Red Robin?”
“Well, Nightwing’s just a Blüd who came to Gotham. He doesn’t count.”
Ouch. Sorry, Dick.
“And Red Robin is obviously an older Robin, the one who was Robin when we were kids. Kent wanted to keep him on, and I don’t blame him. As for Signal, he’s got the same backstory as all the other Robins Kent picked up, he just went the Signal route because he didn’t fit the usual Robin mold.”
“Because the female Robin fit the mold,” Tim snorted. Robin Mold, as if he and his brothers were even the same ethnicity. Or even had the same hair color. Jason dyes his hair, Dick’s is brown-black, Tim’s is pure black, and Damian’s is more a dark brown and it’s only getting lighter as he gets older.
“She didn’t, that’s the point. Kent tried to give breaking the Robin mold a chance by letting his cousin have a go at it, but he realized it just didn’t work so she went back to being Spoiler and he got a new Robin.”
Not touching that with a ten-foot pole. “Right, and where does he get the usual Robins? Please tell me you’re not back on the secret government orphanages theory.”
“No, no, no. Kent travels sometimes for his job, right? And a lot of the time he’s going to places that have been hit by disasters or major crimes. So he’ll take in some of the displaced children to train as his robins.”
Tim pressed his face back into his hands.
“You see it, right?”
Honestly, Tim was just wondering how his boyfriend could be so close, and yet so far off. “How would Kent even afford taking care of a bunch of secret -- possibly illegally acquired -- children without anyone noticing?”
“Simple. Bruce Wayne is funding him.”
“Bernard, I love you, but what the heck?” Tim blushed and looked up as he realized what he’d said, but Bernard didn’t seem to notice as he steamrolled ahead.
“It’d also explain how he can afford all the gear and how he’d be able to travel to Gotham or anywhere else Batman goes without anyone noticing. He probably has a secret Batplane or something.”
“Why would Bruce do that?”
“Because Wayne cares about Gotham, everyone knows that, and this way he can make sure someone’s taking care of the city without anyone putting two and two together.”
��And two plus two is?”
Bernard gave him a hard look. “I’m not stupid, Tim. Bruce Wayne is obviously Superman. His face is right there.”
Oh, the others are going to love this! Too bad I can’t tell Damian or Jason. Jason especially would have loved this. “Right. Bruce is Superman.”
“He is. Superman is known for being nice and Bruce Wayne’s basically all that’s keeping the city running at this point. That’s nice as hell.”
Oh my god.
“And Wayne does charity for the victims of cataclysms, doesn't he? I bet he first saves people from them as Superman and then builds them new homes for free.”
Oh my god! Why am I not recording this!?
“And the Wayne’s were rich enough to hide the fact they adopted an alien baby.”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “If you’re about to tell me this is why Bruce’s parents got killed, you might want to stop while you’re ahead.”
“It’d make sense. There’re all sorts of unanswered questions about their deaths,” Bernard muttered under his breath, flipping through the folder. He pulled out another picture of Kara. This time she was in full Supergirl attire with a bus held overhead. “So if Wayne is Superman, then that’d mean your ex-girlfriend could be Supergirl. They look a lot alike and it’d explain how she got involved with you all.”
“Bernard, she has a human dad. You know, Cluemaster. The supervillain.”
“Yeah, her dad. But we don’t know anything about her mom!”
“Let me guess…”
Bernard pulled out a picture of Karen. She and Helena were suited up and talking to a group of cops, two goons held over each of Karen’s shoulders. “Her mom could be Power Girl! Some makeup and a wig and she could look just like Crystal Brown! And Damian Wayne is obviously the new Superboy! That’s why his background is such a mystery, right? He had to stay a secret until he could control his alien superpowers. That’s why he’s always so mean. It’s a cover since everyone knows Superboy is super sweet!”
Sure, when he’s not helping Damian pull pranks or using his adorable powers to put the blame on Kon and I. “No, Bernard. Damian and Steph are just very human hellspawn. And Bruce and Crystal are human too. I can’t believe you called me over here just to tell me you think Superman is both Batman’s sugar daddy and my adoptive dad.”
“Well, that’s not exactly why I called you over,” Bernard admitted, the nervous energy coming back. He grabbed Tim’s hands. “Tim -”
Tim’s stomach sank. “You are breaking up with me!”
“What? No! I don’t want to break up!”
“Why are you acting all nervous and serious then!?” Tim asked, pulling his hands away to throw them up in the air.
Bernard shook the folder. “Because I’m trying to tell you I figured out you’re Superboy!”
Tim’s brain blue-screened and his hands slowly dropped. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I know you’re Superboy. The older one, obviously. By the way, you and Damian really need to figure out separate names.”
Forget Jason and Damian, Kon can never find out about this. He’d never let me live it down. “Bernard, you called me a twink five minutes ago. Su-” Shoot, I can not risk getting Kon’s attention! “The older one might not be as big as Superman, but he’s not a twink.”
“Well, yeah, that’s the shapeshifting at work.”
“The what?”
“Obviously you Kryptonians can shapeshift. Why else would you look so much like humans?”
… Why do Kryptonians look so much like humans? Was there some - Wait, no! Break into the Fortress of Solitude for research later! Reassure your boyfriend that you’re not an alien now! “Bernard -”
“And that explains why your step-mom was so hot.”
“Gross.”
“She and your dad were actors hired by Luthor so you could have a normal life! But now Bruce has custody so he adopted you.”
“No.”
“That’s why you and your dad were so weird with each other when I met him.”
“We were weird because he’d just gotten out of a coma not long before to find that his wife was dead so he decided to actually be a dad for once in his life, but overcompensated and became a helicopter parent to a kid who was mostly on his own for his entire life!” Tim blurted out. “I am not an alien, Bernard!”
“Well, not technically since you were cloned from Superman on Earth.”
“Oh my god! You were just talking about Steph being Supergirl! Why would I date my dad’s cousin?”
Bernard blinked. “Supergirl and Superman are cousins?”
Right, Timothy Drake-Wayne wasn’t supposed to know that. “I thought they’d said something like that before, yeah. Are people seriously saying I’m Superboy on the internet?”
“NO! No, I swear I would have led with that if I thought your identity was compromised. A few people have mentioned Wayne and Damian, but not you or Steph or Jason.”
“Wh-Jason!? You think Jason was an alien too!”
“No, not exactly, but a few times when I’ve visited I swear I’ve seen a guy in the manor who looks like Jason. It’s just been out of the corner of my eye and he’s gone whenever I look so I’ve always thought it was just Dick or Bruce or some picture of Jason that my mind was playing tricks with, but it makes sense now that I know Wayne is Superman. He must have been able to heal Jason with alien tech, but couldn’t say anything because that would give away that he’s Superman.”
Damn it Jason! And damn it Bernard! I’m dating the smartest moron in the world! “Bruce did not bring Jason back with alien technology and none of us are aliens!”
“It’s okay, Tim. I won’t tell anyone.”
Tim grabbed Bernard by the jacket and pulled him into a kiss. When he started to feel lightheaded, he pulled back, “Could someone whose skin is as solid as stone kiss like that?”
Bernard blinked dazedly at him for a moment. “How do you know what Superboy’s skin feels like?”
Tim screamed internally. “He’s saved me from a kidnapping before.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can get you the police report if you want.”
“Huh… And the others?”
“Not Supers. I can stab Damian the next time we’re at the manor if that’ll prove none of us are aliens.” He’d rather stab Jason, but that would probably only confirm to Bernard that Bruce used alien technology to bring him back.
“You probably shouldn’t stab your brother if he isn’t an alien.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “I won’t stab him anywhere deadly.”
“That’s not the point,” Bernard said slowly.
“He’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
“So do you believe I’m not an alien now?” Tim huffed, letting go of Bernard’s jacket.
The blond’s eyes dipped down to Tim’s lips. “If I say no, will you kiss me like that again?”
“You’re ridiculous,” Tim said, but he kissed him anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Okay, but I still say Clark Kent is definitely Batman.”
“Sure, Bernard.”
279 notes · View notes
thevoidfishsminstrel · 4 years ago
Text
Alex Danvers wasn’t phased by much. Had she expected to get an alien sister? No. But she went along with it (eventually) and was a good sister. Had she expected to get recruited by a government agency? No. But that was fine, and she was good at her job. Had she expected to be gay? Also no. But she accepted it and she was… well she was a disaster on that front, but she was happy.
The one time that she possibly, maybe, perhaps faltered a little, and thought, ‘this cannot possibly be my life now’, however, was during the months after the arrival of one Lena Luthor to National city.
———
“Alex! I broke Lena Luthor’s chair!”
Alex whirled around to see Supergirl anxiously striding towards her through the DEO, whisper-shouting her name. “You did what?”
Kara came to a stop in front of her, nervously wringing her hands. “I broke Lena Luthor’s chair.”
Alex blinked. “How? I thought you and Clark were just interviewing her?”
“We were! I was just standing behind one of the chairs in front of her desk and holding the back of it and then she looked at me and I wasn’t expecting it and a bit of the chair just kind of broke off in my hand. I tried to squish it back into place and tucked the chair under the desk but I think you might be able to tell if you looked too closely.”
Alex sighed. “Okay. Don’t worry, I’ll get it fixed.”
Kara deflated with relief and grinned. “Thanks Alex.”
Ten minutes later, Alex phoned the L-corp lobby with an excuse to get Lena down there while J’onn phased through her balcony door and swapped the very obviously hand-shaped-dented chair with a new one that would hopefully go unnoticed. She had naively thought that that would be the end of it.
———
A week and a half later, Alex got a panicked phone call from Kara claiming that she had seen Lena at a restaurant and stayed to have brunch with her but there was now a large chunk of table missing from where they had been sitting, caused by Lena laughing at one of her jokes. Suspicion had begun to creep into the back of Alex’s mind but she was too exasperated to pay it any attention.
Kara said she had managed to cover it up with an empty bread basket and persuade Lena they should go to see the crepe stand that had been at the park recently.
Alex, Winn and James had arrived at the restaurant half an hour later in fake uniforms and a fake van, claiming a table replacement had been ordered by the restaurant management. They quickly set up the new table and took away the cornerless one along with the piece of wood that had Kara’s fingerprints permanently embedded in it.
———
Over the next few months, they replaced glasses, vases, windows, tables, chairs, various cutlery, and an array of annoyingly abstract decorations that had to be specially 3D printed because no replacements existed.
A new section of the DEO budget had to be put aside, labelled ‘Cleanup’, and the superfriends became unofficially known as ‘The Cleanup Squad’ (although Winn only said it out loud once, given Alex’s thinly veiled threat afterwards).
It wasn’t until Alex witnessed one of the events that preceded the need for The Cleanup Squad that her subconscious suspicions hit her like the ton of bricks they would have to fix.
It was a standard game night with a shot too many and a brain cell too few, all of them shouting over a game of two truths one lie, when the delivery guy arrived with their food.
Kara went to get the door while Lena had her go. That was the first mistake.
Kara had been sneaking alien alcohol into her drink for the past hour.
Lena’s third sentence was ‘I’m more often attracted to women than men’.
Kara’s foot went through her floorboards with a crunch and she stumbled into her front door, making the whole wall tremble worryingly. Alex shouted out one of the other sentences as a guess to distract Lena from looking behind her to see what the noise was. That was the next mistake.
Kara took the food from a slightly confused looking delivery guy, thanking him and checking the bags as he walked away, as Lena cheered, wine sloshing around in her glass.
“Alex wins! Women are hot and I like to kiss them.”
The door came off its hinges in Kara’s hand and as she went to correct her mistake she smashed it into the doorframe with enough force to bring down a plane. The door, doorframe and half the wall collapsed to the floor, leaving a shellshocked Kara among the rubble, holding a useless doorknob.
Nia slung her arm across Lena’s shoulders to stop her turning around again and cheered. “Woohoo! That’s great! Hey can you teach me how to win at Monopoly?”
Lena frowned. “But only half of us have had a go at-”
“Yeah! You guys set up Monopoly while I go get snacks with James.” Alex not-so-subtly dragged James up with her, glaring at Winn. “What about you, Winn?”
He jumped up with a nervous laugh. “I need the toilet! Yep!”
They all scurried off to where Kara was just standing and blinking. Alex took the food and doorknob from her hands, putting the food on the counter and the doorknob in a nearby vase while Winn and James started haphazardly piling bricks back up into a wall-ish shape. Nia and Brainy seemed to be going through every single Monopoly card and asking Lena about it in a kind of terrifyingly over enthusiastic pop quiz.
Kara snapped out of her daze and began helping as Alex sent a message to the DEO to get a new door there as quickly as possible. She dragged Kara out into the hall and made her laservision off the entire door and doorframe of her neighbour who was luckily currently on holiday. While Kara did that, she kicked the old bits of door and brick dust under a rug in the hall.
Kara fit the new door into the hole that James and Winn were leaving, blowing her freezebreath over the whole wall to freeze it all in place for the time being.
Before she could go back inside, Alex grabbed Kara by the arm. She raised an eyebrow at Kara’s confused look. “Want to explain what just happened?”
Kara blushed and glanced at (or probably through) the door. “I um… I just got distracted by the food.”
“So it was nothing to do with Lena openly admitting she’s bisexual?”
Kara blanched. “I- wha- pff no.”
Alex rolled her eyes and opened the door to let Kara through before she broke anything else.
They all moved back over to the living room area as casually as possible, Winn setting out the food.
Alex leaned down to speak quietly to Kara before she sat down herself. “You know you can talk to me right?”
Kara nodded shyly and she let it go.
———
The last operation The Cleanup Squad did, it was Nia that called.
Alex sat up in bed, having only just managed to fall asleep, and picked up her phone. “Hello?”
“Alex? Kara’s about to break Lena’s coffee table.”
Alex sighed and waved away Kelly’s questioning look. “Okay. I’ll call J’onn.”
Ten minutes later, Alex was hanging onto J’onn like a backpack as he hovered just under Lena’s balcony with a replacement table.
There was a crash from inside.
“What was that?” Lena’s voice came from somewhere further inside her apartment and J’onn floated up to peer through the windows.
“Nothing! Just… a video on my phone.”
Alex’s phone buzzed with what was presumably the panicked text she just watched Kara send.
Kara went further into the apartment, rambling to Lena about how they should get into their pjs before they watch the next movie.
J’onn alighted on the balcony and they quietly made their way inside. J’onn cleared the broken table into a bag and flew off to dispose of it while Alex set down the new one.
Just as she was putting into place, Lena wandered into the room. Their eyes met briefly before Lena turned towards her kitchen, filled a glass of water, and left again, as though she hadn’t seen anything.
J’onn was back in the next moment and they disappeared back out into the night.
———
Lena opened the door with a smile and stepped aside to let Alex in. “Alex. What can I do for you?” She shut the door and led her over to the kitchen. “Tea? Coffee?”
“Coffee please.”
Alex sat down at Lena’s kitchen island, thinking about how to phrase what she was going to say while Lena made them both a coffee.
Lena set a mug down in front of her and sat down across the island, waiting patiently for Alex to start talking.
“Do you know?”
Lena smiled, raising an eyebrow. “I know lots of things.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Fine. Do you know about what we’ve been doing?”
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, Danvers.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I know you saw me last night, Luthor. Why didn’t you say anything?”
Lena smiled and shook her head. “Alex, I have the most high tech security system in the world and an IQ that is most definitely higher than a five year old, and even a five year old would be able to notice you lot trying to rebuild furniture around them. Did you really think I didn’t notice? You replaced a $1000 chair with Ikea furniture.”
Alex went to defend herself but just deflated. “Yeah. Sorry.” She swirled her spoon through the coffee foam. “So why didn’t you say anything?”
Lena shrugged. “She’ll tell me when she’s ready.”
Alex watched her for a moment and smiled. Yeah. She was pretty sure she’d be her sister-in-law one day.
———
“Alex?”
She pushed past Kara into her apartment. “I think you should tell Lena.”
Kara blushed and stuttered as she closed the door. “Wha- I- There’s nothing to tell!”
Alex frowned at the odd reaction before she realised what Kara thought she meant and rolled her eyes. “No not that. Well… that too. But that’s not what I meant. I think you should tell her about Supergirl.”
Kara gaped at her. “Really?”
“Yeah. She proved beyond a doubt that she’s trustworthy and I can see how much you two mean to each other.”
Kara bit her lip, looking down and wringing her hands together. “But what if… what if she hates me for it?”
Her eyes were so big and sad and scared when she looked back up that Alex immediately wrapped her in a hug. “That’s not going to happen, okay? And the rest of us are here for you whatever happens. You know that, right?”
Kara nodded against her shoulder. “Okay.”
———
Kara stood outside Lena’s office, trying to drag her courage back from where it had run to hide, and wiping her sweaty palms on her slacks.
The door opened and Lena hesitantly poked her head out. “You doing okay out here?”
Kara gave a strangled laugh and nodded unconvincingly.
Lena stepped out of her office to join Kara in the corridor. “Okay, well, do you want to tell me why you’ve been standing out here for the past ten minutes?”
She gulped, breathing getting a little faster.
“Hey, hey it’s okay.”
Lena took her hand, stroking her thumb across her knuckles gently. It calmed her down a little and she sighed, leaning back against the wall and sliding down it, hand slipping out of Lena’s.
Lena came and sat on the floor beside her, offering her hand again.
Kara gladly tangled their fingers together, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, my hand’s a little sweaty.”
Lena laughed and bumped their shoulders together. “That’s okay.”
Kara sighed and brought her other hand up to her glasses. “Lena, I-” She closed her eyes and removed her glasses with a shaky hand.
She felt gentle fingers take them from her grasp and opened her eyes to watch Lena carefully fold them up and place them on the floor beside them. She looked at Kara with a soft smile. She reached up and traced the same fingertips across Kara’s cheek, making her eyes flutter closed.
“I know.”
Kara’s eyes snapped open. “You did?”
She nodded.
“Oh. Well now I feel like I’ve made you sit out here on the floor with me for nothing.”
Lena laughed, her eyes and nose crinkling adorably, and Kara couldn’t stop herself from smiling even as her heart beat faster.
“Well since you already knew I was Supergirl, I feel like I should tell you a different secret. Like how I think I’m in love with you.”
Lena’s breath hitched, eyes flitting between Kara’s as they subconsciously leaned slowly closer. “You think?”
Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and Lena’s eyes followed. “I know.”
“Good. Because I am definitely in love with you.”
Any other thoughts melted away when their lips met. Kara’s hand automatically slid to Lena’s waist as Lena pressed closer, soft and warm and perfect.
There was a crunch and Kara fell backwards a little, accidentally pulling Lena so she was almost in her lap, as she made a hole in the wall with her back. They broke apart giggling, resting their foreheads together.
“Sorry.”
Lena kissed her again but they were both smiling too much for it to last long. “At least you don’t have to call Alex everytime you break something around me now.”
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thebisexualdogdad · 3 years ago
Text
Old flames reignited (William Dey x Male reader)
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Co written with @inhumanshadows
Based off of this post.
You were the CEO of an up and coming company focused on implanting new ways of alternative energy to battle climate change and had been asked by Lena Luthor herself to come in for an exclusive interview with CatCo. 
You stepped off the elevator at the top floor, heading towards Lena's office where she was currently holding the morning staff meeting. 
You didn't mean to interrupt but were caught by a pleasant surprise when you saw a familiar face. 
"Willie?" You say happily.
“Y/N? Well I’ll be damned.” William says, walking over and hugging you, “what are you doing here?”
“I’m actually here to see Lena,” you gesture to her at the head of the table.
Lena smiles and makes her way to you. “Lovely to meet you Y/N. Just let us finish this staff meeting and we’ll talk? Mr. Dey? We’ll need you back in the meeting.”
“Of course Lena. We’ll talk later Willie.”
Back in the meeting everyone's eyes are on William. 
"So... Willie?" Kara asks him. 
"Just an old nickname," he shrugs. 
"And you know Y/N Y/L/N how? He's one of Forbes hottest 30 under 30," Nia adds. 
"Oh we went to college together... we also dated for a while," William says casually. 
"You dated?!?" Nia and Kara both respond shocked.
“Yeah. We were roommates freshman year and felt a spark so we figured why the hell not? We dated until senior year but with the way our careers and goals were headed we decided best to part ways. We still keep in touch though," William explains. 
"I didn't know you even dated men," Kara says. 
"I mean I have a preference for women but who's to say my future life partner isn't a man? I don't really feel a need to put a label on myself," He says. 
"Oh I am so living for this," Nia grins. 
"Okay guys we have made our guest wait long enough, let's please finish our meeting and save the personal talk for later," Lena tells her team. 
They finish their meeting and Lena invites you in for your interview with Kara. 
Afterwards Kara comes up with an idea.
"You know Y/N, I'm having a game night tonight and William is gonna be there, you should join us," she says.
"I'd enjoy that, it'll be nice to catch up with Willie and get to know his new friends," you smile.
You leave Lena's office and spot William at his desk, you approach him and he's awkwardly shifting on his feet.
“So-“ you both start.
“Sorry, Y/N. Please you first.”
“How are you Willie- I mean William. Professional setting and all,” you correct yourself, “how have you been?”
“I’ve been good… worked for the Times in London before Lena personally requested me to come to CatCo,” he tells you
“And how is working for CatCo? No one being mean to you I hope?” You joke, nudging his chest.
“Nothing I can’t handle… Where are you staying? I heard Kara invited you to game night, I’ll swing by and pick you up?”
"The National City main street hotel," you tell him. 
"Oh of course I should have guessed, only the best for you mister money bags," he teases.
"Very funny, I'll let you get back to work and I'll see you tonight." 
"I look forward to it."
That night you get a text from William that he's downstairs and he drives you to Kara's apartment. 
"I hope your friends like me," you say nervously. 
"When have you ever met someone who doesn't love you?" 
"If I recall your mom wasn't my biggest fan," you laugh. 
"Okay but you did accidently ruin her best cookware the first time you met," he replies. 
"How was I supposed to know in college that you don't put cast iron in the dish washer!" You retort.
“Who doesn’t know that??” William laughs.
“Me! Obviously.”
You guys get to Kara’s apartment and are introduced to more of Williams’s friends.
“Y/N! Welcome! Make yourself at home. You know Lena already, This is Nia, you probably saw her earlier today she works with me and William. This is Brainy and this is my sister Alex and her girlfriend Kelly," Kara says. 
“Pleasure to meet you all.” You smile.
"Now I'm going to need all the details of what William was like in college," Nia tells you not so subtely. 
"Can we at least have some pizza first, I don't like being embarrassed on an empty stomach," William chuckles. 
You guys dive into the pizzas Alex and Kelly brought and Lena cracks into the expensive wine she provided. 
"Willie couldn't stand me at first," you say as you're chowing down on a slice of pizza. 
"Y/N you offered to do my laundry when I was studying for a huge test and mixed my white shirts with your red ones," he says back. 
"That was my bad but you did look real cute in pink," you say making everyone laugh.
"By the end of the semester he did ending up charming me and I couldn't say no when he asked me out on a date," William states.
“But wouldn’t it have been awkward if you guys like, broke up while you were still roommates?” Nia asks.
“Yes and no. We both said we’d cross that bridge if we got to it which never happened since we decided to separate a few weeks before graduation," you explain. 
“You guys must’ve had some problems or roughing spots?” Alex asks.
“Oh we definitely did.” William sighs. “My mum wasn’t his biggest fan but not for the reason you’d think. She was very supportive but then there was the cast iron incident.”
The whole room erupts into laughter and you groan at your actions.
“Hey! In my defense… Willie left me unsupervised!” you reply. 
With dinner done you started with some of the games Kara planned.
You and William crushed at charades but had some great competition from Kelly and Alex while Nia and Brainy weren't quite on the same wavelength. 
When it came to trivia you learned exactly just how smart Lena Luthor was. 
"Do you have the entire internet stored up there? You haven't gotten a single question wrong," you ask. 
"I guess it's my superpower," she laughs.
The next game was a very very tense round of jenga where the losing team had to take a shot.
The tower falls and Alex and Kelly reluctantly take their shots.
Nia takes a shot as well and Brainy looks at her, "why are you drinking we won?" 
"I know but I just wanted another drink," she shrugs. 
"I like your style," you say downing your own shot.
Scatagories was not fun for anyone except you and Lena. 
"No fair you two are way too smart for this," Alex complains. 
"Reminds me of college when Willie used to get upset that I always knew the answers at pub trivia night and he didn't," you tease. 
"I mean we always won the jackpot prize money but I would have liked to say I scored at least some of the points," William says dramatically.
“No no you’re right. Out of the let’s say 4000 points we won back then you got us I’ll say… 40?” you say playfully. 
“Ah shush you,” he nudges you again.
“I didn’t hear you complain when we got that giant tv for our room.”
"I should have known back then a genius like you would turn into the CEO of a multi billion dollar environmental company," he chuckles. 
"And I should have known you'd become a journalist at one of the biggest named news outlets in the world," you reply. 
Everyone in the room could pick up on the sparks reigniting between you and William, well except Brainy who still couldn't even pick up on the vibes Nia was dropping him.  
When you all said your goodbyes, William drove you back to your hotel, laughing and reminiscing the whole ride there. 
"I had a lot of fun tonight Willie, I'm even thinking about extending my trip so we can hang out again," you say. 
"Or maybe instead of just... hanging out... we could go on a date or whatever."
“A date you say? I’m not opposed to the idea.”
“That’s good,” William smiles.
“You know what William? The nights still young… why don’t you come upstairs?”
“I think I will.”
-----------------------
Bonus:
The next day Kara and Nia gather at Williams desk for the hot gossip. 
“So Y/N is staying in town?” Kara questions. 
“Yes he is and we decided to give our relationship another shot," William tells them. 
“Yes! Alex owes me 20 bucks," Nia exclaims. 
 "You guys really bet if Y/N and I would start seeing each other again?" William chuckles. 
"Uhhh you guys had so much romantic chemistry at game night it would be insane if you didn't," Nia tells him, "Alex said you would be too chicken to tell each other how you felt."
"Well if it wasn't for game night I would have been, I must confess I've always wondered if ending things with him was a mistake," he says. 
"Now you have a second chance," Kara says.
"I'm so excited! You guys are gonna be the cutest couple," Nia says cheerfully, "well, you know, next to Alex and Kelly." 
"Or you and Brainy if he ever actually asks you out," William teases.
"Ugh don't even get me started on that clueless man," Nia groans making you and Kara laugh. 
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whythinktoomuch · 4 years ago
Text
attempt #37
This was the 52nd formula that Lena had come up with, the 45th solution that she had to wait several hours to synthesize, but only the 37th time she was injecting her shoulder with the resulting concoction. 
It was bright green this time, which only made it seem all the more promising.
There’s a rush and some mild nausea that Lena had come to expect with the experiments, but everything else felt the same. For now. Setting the syringe aside, Lena called out, “Hope, think of a number between one and a million.” 
Then, for the 37th time, Lena tried. She cleared her own mind, practiced the meditative mantras, stared intently into Eve’s eyes, bright blue yet blank with Hope’s quiet disinterest, and... nothing. Not a single digit came to mind. 
No matter how hard Lena tried, the only thoughts in her head were her own. 
With an exasperated sigh, Lena rolled her sleeve back down and directed Hope to log their latest attempt as yet another failure before storming off to start her day. 
// 
Lena emerged from the laboratory with wrinkled clothes and dark circles sunken around her eyes, which was probably why the first thing she heard as she stepped out of the elevator was her personal assistant’s hushed commentary of, Oh sweet Jesus, she looks tired. 
“Oh, I’m well aware, Hector,” Lena said, lofty and without much malice. “Nothing a little coffee can’t fix though.” 
Hector stared at her blankly. “I’m sorry, Miss Luthor?” 
“Never mind,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. She took the outstretched coffee in question as she walked by the assistant’s desk. “Just hold all my calls until the afternoon, please.” 
This time, when Hector grumbled under his breath about wow, she must be grumpy too, Lena ignored it. There were better things for the CEO to tackle, after all; as for example, some fitful sleep on her couch, perhaps? 
Hours later, Lena was relatively well-rested, so she pored over her notes again, trying to pinpoint the exact variable she must have overlooked in her carelessness. Because by all accounts, the formula should have worked—Lena had been certain of it. But then again, she’d admittedly thought that of almost every attempt thus far. 
When Hector walked into her office at some point in the late afternoon with a handful of contracts to be signed, Lena felt no closer to the solution and a slight headache coming on.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?” 
“Another coffee would be great,” Lena said, as she sifted through the documents. 
“Oh my God, if she takes in any more caffeine, her heart’s going to literally explode...” Hector muttered to himself. “Well, maybe she won’t notice if I get her decaf instead...?” 
Lena dropped the papers onto her desk with a scoff. “You know I can hear you, right?” 
Hector appeared startled, which seemed rather appropriate until he slowly said, “So... was that a yes on the espresso?” 
“What?” 
Hector maintained his slow cadence, carefully enunciating every syllable as if he were repeating himself, “Did you want to stick with your usual order... or maybe go with an espresso... because it’s a little stronger?” 
But in a normal cadence, also in Hector’s voice and somehow clear as a bell in Lena’s head came, “If this woman doesn’t get another nap in pronto, she is going to drop dead, and everyone’s going to think I poisoned her coffee, because she’s always in—” 
Absolutely stunned, Lena continued to stare up at Hector in silence, eyes narrowing as the assistant’s slightly panicked voice droned on and on in her head. Until a louder remark broke through the reverie. 
“Whoa, did she just fall asleep with her eyes open?” 
Lena blinked quite obviously, and her mild shock was accompanied with a loud and clear, yet unspoken Oh, thank God! from Hector. 
But the Hector standing before her hadn’t moved his lips once, only watching the bewilderment play out on Lena’s face with some polite concern. 
“The usual’s fine,” Lena interjected before her assistant could press again. “Or the espresso, or whatever. I don’t care, as long as it’s still hot and caffeinated.” 
“You got it,” Hector said. 
“Definitely getting her decaf,” Hector thought as he turned to leave, but Lena hardly minded. She was too busy restructuring the rest of her day around this most exciting realization. 
After some quick bit of arithmetic in her head, Lena set a timer on her watch for five hours, which was presumably the amount of time it would take for her body to break down the serum and render it useless. Then she logged on to her private interface and happily directed Hope to re-record attempt #37 as a success. 
//
The ability to read minds was, quite simply, quite the advantage. 
Though it wasn’t so much “mind-reading,” as mind-receiving. The serum seemed to have granted Lena access to the loud and active thought processes of everyone around her—their inner monologue, if you will, everything put into words but left unsaid. 
Lena had been hoping for more, to be able to break into other people’s minds so as to hack secrets, determine why supposed close friends would ever betray her, and the like. Maybe that would come with time and practice. 
But as it turned out, there was rather plenty to be gleaned from the forefront of someone’s mind, as people often thought about the things they weren’t supposed to say before choosing more palatable means of expression. Which made the rest of Lena’s workday somewhat informative, if not a little fun. 
For one thing, Lena found out that a lot more of her employees enjoyed working for her than she had thought. All of them respected her, several feared her, and quite a fair few entertained invasive thoughts about her décolletage before swiftly directing their attention elsewhere. 
She also found out there was one board member in particular who liked to fudge the numbers during meetings, and that his face took on a very unappealing shade of off-white when Lena could inexplicably confront him with the actual results of his findings. 
But most importantly of all, what Lena found out was that... she actually enjoyed this heretofore inaccessible sense of control this ability afforded her. She had taken on the experiments for a very specific purpose, but now, it was difficult to even imagine going back to how things were, even after the fact.  
// 
Lena walked into the DEO, and for the first time, the outpouring of distrust attached to the Luthor name was all but imagined. The disparaging thoughts followed her, even as the people who had them smiled or averted their eyes as she passed. 
Nothing she wasn’t used to though. 
Alex’s voice slid into Lena’s head in a whisper—... the hell?—one whole minute before she actually greeted her, “Lena, hey... Well, can’t say that I was expecting you.” 
“Yes, that’s what it sounds like,” Lena mused, and Alex gave her a slight frown. 
“So, did you need something?” 
“Where’s Kara? I want to talk to her.” 
Alex’s carefully composed face betrayed no emotion, but her thoughts sighed heavily, “Of course...” before ebbing away into something entirely indistinct and indecipherable.
Lena blinked. She hadn’t encountered anyone whose thoughts weren’t immediately accessible to her before. But here Alex was, giving directions to Kara’s current whereabouts, all the while muttering some underlying commentary in tones so hushed that Lena couldn’t quite make out any of it. 
“... Is there something on my face?” Alex swiped her sleeve across her forehead. “What are you looking at?” 
“What? No, nothing,” Lena said brusquely. “Thank you for telling me where Kara is. Bye.” She turned on her heel, headed for the hallway that would eventually lead to the training room. 
“Well, that was weird...” Alex’s voice drifted after her, a literal afterthought. “But I mean, I guess she has a nice ass, so—”
Lena shot a dirty look over her shoulder, but Alex was already back on her computer, mind rattling off coordinates and running through tactical drills like a well-oiled machine. 
// 
Kara was wearing short shorts and a sports bra, panting, and absolutely drenched in sweat when Lena stepped foot into the training room. She looked over at Lena, her skin glistening against the dimmed green of the kryptonite-lined walls, and smiled wide. 
“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” Kara asked, giving the punching bag one last jab before tugging her gloves off. "Did something happen or...? I mean, not that I’m not happy to see you, of course.” She flashed Lena another bright grin before pressing a towel to her face and neck and chest. 
It was enough to stop Lena in her tracks, and almost enough to put a damper on her plans. Almost. 
“I need to talk to you,” Lena said evenly, eyes glued firmly to Kara’s forehead. 
“Yeah, sure! Jeez... I’d give you a hug, but I’m like sweating in places I didn’t even know existed. Alex says that this is the only way to learn proper form and all, but wow. I can’t believe there are humans who actually do this for fun—” 
“Kara,” Lena cut in, lips pursing in exasperation. “I’m serious. We need to talk right now.” 
Kara blinked, then slowly nodded. “Okay, yeah, let’s talk... You wanna sit down?” 
“I prefer to be standing.” 
“Okay.” Kara remained standing as well, towel now crumpled in her hands. “So, what’s going on?” 
Lena took a deep breath, quickly running through the meditative techniques meant to keep her mind clear and open, then asked, “Why did it take you so long to tell me that you’re Supergirl?” 
Kara’s shoulders slumped. “Lena, I...” 
“No, why did it take three years? Why didn’t you trust me?” Lena continued, her pace steady and firm just like she had practiced. “I trusted you. I trusted you with every part of me, which is extremely difficult for me to do, and you just... didn’t care, I guess.” 
“Of course, I care. Lena... I never meant to hurt you,” Kara said insistently. Her voice was loud, emphatic, and at the moment, the only thing Lena could hear.  
“Don’t!” Lena snapped when Kara started to approach her. “Don’t come any closer. And stop talking! Just listen.” 
Kara exhaled sharply through her nose and raised her hands in tentative surrender in absolute, utter silence. Lena even paused for a beat or two, just to see if any of Kara’s thoughts would breach the surface, but none did. 
“Why couldn’t you just trust me, Kara?” Lena asked, and regrettably her voice trembled on the last syllable. “Why did I have to hear it from Lex?” 
Kara’s eyes widened. “Lex? Lex told you before I did?” 
“Shut up. Do not talk,” Lena hissed out, waiting for Kara to snap her jaw shut before continuing with a bitter laugh, “Do you, do you even trust me now...?” Kara stared, gaze hardening. “And how do you expect me to trust anything you have to say for yourself now?” 
Lena’s questions—all of the above and beyond—were met with silence, strained only by the sound of Kara’s heavy breath and Lena’s own thoughts. 
Scoffing, Lena threw up her hands. “Do you even care that you hurt me?” 
“... Can I talk now?” Kara demanded, seething like she had any right to it. But when Lena shook her head furiously, she held her tongue and apparently everything else as well, because Lena couldn’t hear a single damn thing. 
When the alarm on her watch went off, Lena left, slamming the door on her way out. She contacted Hope through their private channel and had her re-log attempt #37 as just another failure. 
Back to the fucking drawing board. 
(next part here)
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servicetopkaradanvers · 4 years ago
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I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-
and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-
I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam
FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:
We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.
You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.
Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.
My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.
But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.
On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."
Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.
And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.
There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.
So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.
In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3
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from-a-reckless-writer · 4 years ago
Text
They were fighting.
In the DEO.
Again.
“Moms fighting again?” Nia casually leans on the desk next to Brainy, who is currently hunched over some screen. 
“It appears so,” He answers, not really paying attention. In the distance you can hear yelling and the tell-tale woosh of a cape. 
Nia had removed her comms the moment Supergirl spotted Lena Luthor on the field. She’s pretty sure half of the agents did the same. They all knew what was coming. 
And well, if the approaching bickering were any indication... 
“I had it covered!”
“Yes, because an on-coming missile with your name on it was you having it covered, clearly.”
“I saved ten lives today, Supergirl. Jealous you only saved three?”
“It isn’t about that and you know it.”
Nia sees Alex stride in, obviously going in for an attempt to pacify Supergirl. 
And also because it was partly Alex’s idea to send Lena with the Alpha team, in her defense Lena was the only person she could trust enough not to tamper with the device.
“Come on, Supergirl, Lena is more than capable in the field and she volunteered. She saved the day, you kno—”
“Butt out of this, Alex.” Supergirl grits out, too busy staring Lena down to even spare her sister a glance. 
“Sorry?” Alex scoffs, shocked at how easy she was brushed aside. She was tempted to pull rank and use the ‘I’m the Director, here.’ card, if she was being honest.
“No, Alex is right,” Lena points out, “I did save the day. Time for you to acknowledge that the both of us are just as capable as the other. And if saving the day means getting in the line of fire, then so be it.”
“This isn’t about you being incapable-”
“Then tell me what exactly is it about?”
Supergirl licks her lips, swallows and Lena braces herself for another retort but instead she fixes her with a stare that only Supergirl reserves for the bad guys and coolly states, “You are not to go out in the field and that’s final.”
She turns to walk out but Lena’s temper just skyrocketed tenfold. 
“Wow. You did not just say that to my face.” There was something in the way that Lena Luthor’s voice dropped that made Supergirl turn around. DEO agents are openly watching on now, not even bothering at subtlety anymore. The two women fighting in front of the whole agency certainly haven’t tried subtle at all. 
“Let’s make something clear here, Supergirl,” Lena fumed,  “This is my life and I get to call the shots. You don’t get a say in what I decide to do or not to do. Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I don’t have a say? Rao, sorry my mistake! Forgive me for thinking that my sharing a last name with you means a cent to you as much as it does to me. You’re right, who the hell am I anyway? Sorry for wanting to keep you alive.”
Supergirl is breathing heavily two inches away from Lena’s face. Heat and anger rolling off the both of them in waves. They’re in a world of their own now. A world in which Lena is having trouble deciding on whether she should scream some more or pull Supergirl’s lips into her own. 
“Im sorry- Last name?” 
The voice wakes them to reality. A reality that makes both of them sober up and realize they’re in the middle of a very exposed DEO headquarters; makes them aware of the collective gasp that has just happened. 
Supergirl backs away. 
“Please, fucking tell me that I heard you wrong. Or I swear to God-”
Alex heads straight for Supergirl and Lena quickly realizes the implications of what Supergirl had just said. She essentially confirmed to the entire place that they’re— 
“Alex, I can—”
“Yes or no, are you or are you not married?”
So, this is how Alex Danvers makes criminals confess. Lena had never seen Supergirl cower before, but by the looks of it, if Lena had been the one in the hero’s boots she’d also be shaking. 
“Yes.”
Oh, no. 
“Alex, listen,” Lena starts and Supergirl looks at her—no, not Supergirl, Kara—Kara looks at her and Lena sends her a reassuring gaze that screams, ‘I’m with you.’
In that instant it must’ve looked like a switch had been flipped. From Lena attacking Kara to Lena defending Kara in a split second. 
“Listen, we were going to tell you. It isn’t like what you think—“
“Oh, no no,” Alex quickly dismisses Lena, “I’m not going to listen to you. This is between me and you,” Alex hissed not even looking at her, directly glaring at Supergirl instead. 
“Alex, just—” Lena tries but she does the mistake of moving her shoulder in an attempt to put an arm on Alex and she cuts off with a, “Fuck.”
The Danvers sisters look up at her yelp of pain, concern flickering through their faces. Supergirl swiftly speeding to her side, and the shoulder wound she was so trying so hard to keep Kara from seeing, is now out in the open, bleeding profusely. 
“You’re hurt.”
“Fuck,” Lena says again as she tries to take in a breath, pain shooting down her entire right side. 
“Take her to the Med Bay,” Alex orders, eyes briefly tracing Lena’s shoulder before turning to Supergirl again, “If you think this discussion is over, you’re sorely mistaken. You and I have a lot to talk about. And I fucking mean it.”
Lena watches as Supergirl swallows in fear at the sight of the DEO director walking out. 
“Everybody, back to work! Show’s over, morons!”
As if somebody had hit the play button, a buzz resumes almost exaggeratedly; DEO agents immediately flailing to get back to work, embarrassed at being called out so blatantly. 
Lena tunes back in to Kara, “C’mon, hold on to me,” she mumbles, quickly bending down to put an arm around Lena’s knees and pulls her to a bridal carry. 
She doesn’t point out that it’s her shoulder that was injured, not her legs; doesn’t point out that she can walk absolutely fine. Lena can clearly see how Supergirl needs to be as close to her as possible right now. 
So, she clings tightly and presses harder back against her chest.
*** 
Lena’s mind is running a mile a minute right now, she needs to know what’s going in her wife’s mind and she needs a plan on how the both of them are going to do damage control. 
Kara lays her down softly on a Med bed and without a word Lena strips herself off. 
Both of them silent as Kara gets supplies on a nearby table. She sits behind Lena and cleans the wound wordlessly. She’s patched Nia up in secret, way too many times, to know how many stitches Lena needs.
“I’m still mad at you.”
Are the first words that Kara utters.
“Good. I’m still mad at you too.”
She hears Kara sigh and she doesn’t need to turn around to know that Kara’s face is scrunched up in a pout and a crinkle. 
“But...that doesn’t mean I won’t protect you against Alex.”
“I don’t need protection from Alex.”
“Really?”
“Okay, fine she scared me a bit.”
Before Lena can reply she hisses in pain and Kara brings her lips near the wound and “Sorry,” she whispers. 
“We have to talk about this don’t we?” Kara sighs out, finally addressing the elephant in the room.
“Yes, darling, we do.”
“We also have to reach a compromise about this, don’t we?”
“Yeah, Kara, yeah we do.”
Lena hears another sigh and she can guess what Kara would say next.
“Just so you know, I hate this. I hate this very much. If I could have my way, we’re not having this discussion and you’re staying put and staying safe and not running off to danger. Hell if I can have it my way you won’t even be stepping inside the DEO. But...I can’t have my way can’t I?”
“No, darling, I’m sorry.”
Kara sounds so helpless and Lena just wants to make all the complications in their relationship go away. But that’s not how real life relationships work. Relationships are hard and messy and work. God, they are so much work, but being with Kara is worth all the work in the world. They’ve come a long, long way for this. 
If this had happened two years ago, the both of them would not even think about compromise. Kara would just push through with what she believes is the best way to keep Lena safe and would have insisted on keeping Lena locked in a safe house somewhere. And she guesses past Lena wouldn’t even consider the merits of communication with Kara, either.
“I just want you safe.”
“I know.”
“Never want to see you hurt.”
“I know, baby. But Kara you can’t always keep me safe, do you understand that?” Lena says carefully, she wishes she could turn around right now and cup Kara’s face.
“I know it’s hard for you, but this is what the both of us signed up for. Do you think I’m happy whenever you fly off to God knows where, when I see getting shot at in the news, when you leave in the middle of the night? I’m just as scared as you are, Kara.”
But that’s the price the both of them have to pay for falling in love when one is a super hero and the other is a world saving genius.
Kara bandages her neatly and Lena turns around to face her, moving a bit up in the bed and pulls gently at Kara’s wrist to join her.
“I know,” Kara breathes into Lena’s hair as she positions herself,  “I’m sorry. For fighting, for yelling, for...accidentally telling everyone that we’re married.”
Lena tries not to laugh at how Kara pouts at the last one. 
“Forgiven already. I’m sorry too.”
“I love you, you know that?”
She feels more that hears as she fits herself underneath Kara’s chin, tucked tight beside her. 
“I love you too, so, so much. So much that I agreed to a secret wedding,” Lena tells her, “And as much as I would love to continue our little heart to heart, I really think you should go to your sister now.”
“Nooo, Lena noo,” Kara groans out, “Come on, we can just stay here and cuddle and I can kiss your shoulder better and maybe you can give me a kiss too and I don’t have to talk to Alex.”
“Oh, but you do.”
“Have I mentioned I also hate when you’re right?”
“Once or twice.”
“Mmph. Fine. But half an hour of cuddles first and then I go talk to Alex, deal?” 
“Deal.” 
Lena agrees, greedy for Kara’s warmth and also thinking that Alex certainly needs more than half an hour to cool off. Kara certainly needs more than that to think about the words she’s going to tell her sister. She’ll probably die by the end of their conversation but at least she died knowing that the whole world knows Lena Luthor is her wife, right?
***
“Alex, I know you’re mad-”
“Oh, I’m not mad, I’m livid, Kara. Livid.”
Maybe it was a bad idea to talk to Alex in an empty DEO training room where her sister could easily turn on red sunlamps and deck her for keeping things secret.
“What, did it not occur to that, oh I don’t know? ‘Oh I’m having a wedding maybe I should text my sister an update? Leave her a note maybe? Dear Alex I’m getting married today!’” Alex roars and Kara flinches. Rao how could she be this stupid?
“Anything would have been fucking nice, than to hear about it in the middle of a heated fight. Tell me, if you didn’t slip up just now were you even going to tell me?” Alex tries to coat the words in anger but she doesn’t miss the way it wavers on fear and insecurity.
“Rao, yes of course I was going to Alex! I- we-” Kara tries.
“Save it.”
“Alex please,” She begs her to listen as she steps in front of her and reaches to hold Alex’s hands.
“When?” Alex snarls and Kara gulps because her sister definitely would not like the answer.
“Remember that time that Lena and I broke up? Then we ran to each other in the rain, made up? And then two weeks later she got assassinated by those CADMUS wanna-be’s and we had to use the Fortress’s tech to track her down?”
Alex remembers that one so clearly. It was funny at the time, how Jess had caught them making out in the middle of an ‘interview’. How Kara was so happy that she won Lena back.
“Yes and?” Alex quips, eager to know the answer.
“And well, remember how I asked to have some time alone with Lena once we rescued her? And made all of you guys leave?” Kara croaks out, fear apparent and Alex just stares at her clearly impatient at how Kara rambles.
“Well, I uh-kinda suggested we get married on the spot because I didn’t want to spend another day not being married to her when people want to kill both of us, every day.”
Alex lets out a heavy, shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. 
“You know this is the part where I say, ‘Not even surprised.’” She states dryly, “Of fucking course you’re the kind of people who would pull this kind of shit.”
 Kara tries to get a word in but, “You fucking owe me a wedding and Mom and J’onn and Alura-”
“Oh my god! Kara! Your Mom deserves to see the daughter she whisked off to another planet, get married! You fucking owe Clark a wedding-”
“Actually…” Kara starts off sheepishly, knowing full well Alex will explode from what she’s about to say.
“Oh for fuck’s sake! Clark knows doesn’t he?!”
Kara flinches again. Good thing her superhearing is dampened here. 
“Well, uh,” Kara wrings her fingers when she realizes there are no glasses to fiddle with.
“Lena said she wanted a Kryptonian wedding so we had Kelex call Kal and uhm he officiated…”
Alex doesn’t say anything to that, just clenches and unclenches fists at her side. 
“I’m sorry!! Okay! I was going to tell you immediately but we kinda got carried away sneaking around and then it just completely slipped my mind because you guys keep pointing out how we’re an old married couple anyway! And and and—“ Kara is grasping for words, anything just to make this all better. 
“Damn it, I messed up haven’t I?” She whispers, realizing  now that the only thing to make this better would be them admitting their mistake and going for amends. 
“Yeah, you did, Kara.”
Kara feels shame course through her.
“I am so mad at you right now for denying me the privilege of seeing you walk down the aisle.  You know I don’t even want that, I just wanted to see you have your dreams come true and see you have what I have with Kelly, god damn it Kara, I love you and I wanted to be there.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I hate your pout. I hate your stupid pouty face. Your billionaire wife better pay for a grand wedding for all of us.”
“Does that mean I’m forgiven?”
“Mom’s not going to let you down easy though.”
Her sister doesn’t really need to point out the obvious.
“I know. Could you maybe be the-”
“Nuh-uh. No. You tell her yourself or have Lena tell her. I’m not doing that shit for you.”
“Fine.”
Kara will take what she can get. 
“I love you, Alex.” She breathes in relief when she sees Alex affectionately roll her eyes at her.
“I love you too, you stupid alien.”
***
“It’s official then? We guys get to call you Moms now?”
Lena never really expected that to be the first words Nia says to her when she enters the Med Bay.
“Yes, Nia. And also, yes, you’re a bridesmaid,” She answers immediately knowing that Nia was going to ask.
Nia lights up and Lena shakes her head at how similar she and Kara beams. 
Yeah, ‘Moms’ really is a fitting term.
“Alex making you do another wedding huh?”
“Yes, she is.”
Nia snorts, “You say that as if you don’t want the world to know Kara Danvers is wholly and solely yours.”
Well, she isn’t wrong, not that Lena is ever going to admit that though.
“Can I please plan your wedding? I have prophetic dreams. I can totally tell you what would look perfect on that day oh, oh, oh! I can even tell you if it’s going to rain, if you want an outdoor wedding that is. Oooh, maybe I could even see who’d catch your bouquet— “
“Nia, slow down,” Lena mutters before Nia plans out the whole wedding then and there.
“Kara and I will talk about it, but I think she’ll agree, you don’t really need to convince us.”
“Yes-yeah uh right sorry, you should definitely do that. Sorry it’s just I’ve been shipping you and oh my this is so exciting!” 
Trust Nia to say ship is now endgame in regards to their marriage.
Nia jabbers on as Kara walks in and gives the both of them a big grin, Alex trailing behind her. 
“I guess, congratulations are in order, Danvers.” Alex rolls her eyes and it takes Lena a moment to realize that she was referring to her.
She tries to calm down the happy flutter in her heart and the emotions bubbling out of her as she utters a weak, “Th-thank you, Alex.”
“Actually, Luthor-Danvers, we hyphenated,” Kara clarifies, which really doesn’t help the happy flutter at all, just adds to it. 
Alex just sighs and mumbles an ‘Of course you did.’
Before walking towards the bed and surprising Lena with a tight embrace.
“You do know, now you have two Danvers worrying for you every time you walk out in the field now, right?”
 And Lena just laughs. Because for the first time in forever she’s got people genuinely wanting her to exist. To the point that they’d do anything to keep her safe. 
She’s got family now and if it means overprotective Kryptonians and fierce blaster wielding older sisters, she really wouldn’t have it any other way. 
***
They’re fighting. 
In the DEO.
Again. 
“Moms fighting again?” Nia doesn’t really know why she keeps asking, this is like a daily occurrence now. Agents don’t even bat an eye when bickering echoes off the halls, nowadays. Apparently, this is what happens in the CatCo bullpen and L-Corp offices too. 
Alex appears next to her. 
“You know you really should stop calling them that, especially since—“
“WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR KID, POTSTICKERS!”
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ghost-of-you · 3 years ago
Text
We just danced backwards into each other - CH - Part 1
Tumblr media
Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.
Warnings: Swearing, Lena's favorite word may be fuck for all I know lol, also drinking, if you're from the US is technically underage, but they're not so 🤷🏻‍♀️
Word Count: 7k
Authors note: okay, one day I woke up and I had this idea in my head, and it was all coming in flashes and I was writing things down as they came and whatever this is happened, actually is still happening I'm not done writing but I kinda wanna post this so, here lol. The whole thing happens in 2 timelines, there's the main one and there are flashbacks where I think they should go, the flashbacks are the italics. If you read this and think it's confusing, please tell me and I'll try to make it better. The story is basically childhood friends to friends with benefits and also feelings to shit we fucked up the friendship to now we are a pr stunt to lovers. The main timeline starts in the shit we fucked up the friendship, and it starts at the end of slfl and the flashbacks will start after the take me home tour and are mostly after that, so we are in "canon" (can I even use this word?) timeline here. Also, this starts with a bit of an exposition dump interview, just to situate things. Also, I have a thing for "I don't deal with feelings Calum" cause he's an Aquarius and I don't trust Aquarius men even tho I'm obsessed with them lol. Oh and the **** means it later on the same day.
The title is from There's No Way by Lauv and Julia Michaels and I will borrow this song for the fic in the future.
Read it on AO3
Part 2
Masterlist
_____________________________________
"So, Lena, you've been opening for 5 Seconds of Summer," the interviewer asked and she smiled as the crowd roared at the mention, she knew she would be answering questions about them for a while. It was her first talk show appearance and she was slightly freaking out.
"Yes."
"But you knew them before you got called to do that?" He continued and she nodded.
"I did, yeah."
"How did you know them?" He finally asked and she smiled at the memories flooding her head.
"Oh, I was in the same class as Luke, Calum, and Michael, so I have known them since I was, maybe 10? It's been a while. Michael and I also shared a guitar teacher for a while."
"And that's how you got the deal with them?"
"Not at all,” she chuckled awkwardly, “I was actually sure that when they found out it was me, that the whole thing would fall through," she laughed and he frowned at her.
"What do you mean?"
"Okay, so, I was renting some studio time 'cause I was gonna put out this song one way or another," she joked and felt encouraged by the laughs she heard, "and the guy that owns the studio said that a band was looking for a female voice to open for them and potentially sign and that he had sent my recording to them, and I was like, okay amazing. I thought it would be just some concerts back home, and I really didn't think much about it until someone from their team reached out to me because they wanted to see me perform, and when I had a gig at a cultural event at my university so I sent them the information."
"And up until then, you didn't know it was 5sos?"
"I had no idea until Calum told me they would be back home and asked if I wanted to go check this show out with them," that was hilarious for her to think about even months after it happened.
"He invited you to your own show?" He asked, laughing along while she nodded.
"He did!" She exclaimed, trying not to laugh and just continued the story, "and when I noticed I was like, yeah there's no way this is happening now, cause the final choice was theirs, like, I went through a whole process and their team was okay with me, but there were other people they were also okay with, so it was up to them, to 5sos I mean, and I was convinced they were not going to choose me."
"Why did you think that?"
"I don't know, my brain had just decided that they wouldn't, obviously, I was wrong, I think that that little gig was one of the best I ever played and Sylvia, my manager, she was talking to me about signing with the management anyway, even if I didn't get the opening spot, and that they would find something else, and it was a whole situation until they decided to offer it to me."
"And I wasn't just a few shows back home," he said and she shakes her head.
"Oh my god, no, one hundred and one concerts worldwide, and up until then I hadn't even been on a plane, it's crazy."
"And the album was done before you went out on tour?" He asked and she frowned, doing a maybe motion with her hands.
"Mostly, we tried to work things out to have it come out right before it started, but that obviously didn't happen, and I wrote a few other songs on the road that ended up in the final version, so we had to work around the first leg of the tour to make the release happen," she explained and he nodded.
"How did you even make it happen?"
"Well, I just decided that sleep was optional," she joked, "and then I found out that vocal rest is actually a great excuse for me to just fall asleep on a couch somewhere."
______
Lena can’t believe that once again she’s standing backstage dreading what will happen after the show. If she knew that this was what she was getting into she wouldn’t have agreed to this, the record deal, the opening spot. Actually, no, that was a lie, no matter what was about to happen, she wouldn’t give up the opportunity for anything. She just wished getting all she ever dreamed of didn’t come at such a cost.
She hates that it’s the last night of the tour and that she can’t focus on that, that she can’t remember what she said or if she sang the words right or if she didn’t mess up any chords. She’s pretty sure at some point she checked to make sure she was wearing the right shoes because she couldn’t even remember getting into her dressing room that afternoon. She doesn’t know how the night is gonna end and as Carry On marks the beginning of their set, she’s not really there. Her mind is somewhere else entirely.
Lena was desperately trying to ignore the panic she was feeling. She wasn't even nervous about the show, but she wished she was. Calum wasn't supposed to be there. And all she could think about is how she was about to play a song she wrote about him on top of all the "actually you belong with me" covers while he was in the crowd reconnecting with her.
That wasn't how she hoped her first gig was going to be. Calum was supposed to be there only in her mind, not somewhere she could get distracted while looking at him. The fact that she managed to land a show the one week he would be home seems insane to her. So she was avoiding the corner where he was standing, the smile that showed her how proud of her he was, making her want to scream just as much as the jealousy she was feeling when he leaned closer to Kate.
It would be a miracle if she walked out from that place with Calum still oblivious about her feelings, the risky glance she gave to him while playing the song she wrote making it obvious something was clicking inside his head. And not only his, considering the glare Kate was giving her. When she noticed that they had disappeared by the time she was playing the final song she knew she was fucked.
The faint screaming guided her to where she shouldn't go once she walked around backstage, trying to figure out if he had gone back there.
“She’s in love with you, Calum," Lena overheard, stopping just short of the door, the words gluing her to that spot, "and I’m not gonna wait around for you to figure out that you feel the same way,” Kate walked out, eyes shooting daggers at Lena when she noticed her.
Calum was standing there watching her leave, only noticing Lena when Kate walked around her. He was looking dumbfounded as Lena walked in so she could get closer to him.
“I’m so sorry,” she apologized, watching him carefully.
“It’s not your fault,” he shrugged, and she scoffed at the thought.
“She was yelling at you because of me, so it kinda is,” she said with a sigh, sitting down on the sofa next to them and he shook his head.
“She’s getting things wrong,” he said, turning to look at Lena, his eyes on hers making the thought of lying to him about this unbearable.
“No, she’s not,” she admitted, looking down at her feet because she couldn't face him.
“What?”
“She’s not wrong about me, you know, being in love with you and all,” she said, still looking at the ground, the impact of saying those words out loud making her start to bounce her leg while she waited for him to react.
“What?” he repeated after a second that felt like forever.
“I just don’t wanna lie to you anymore,” she sighed, risking a glance up at Calum, who looked like his world had been completely altered.
“You’re in love with me?” he asked and all she could do was nod.
“It doesn’t change anything, you don’t live here anymore, and it will go away,” she started, voice going higher as she rambled trying to make the situation seem less terrible but he cut her off.
“How long?”
“It doesn’t matter."
“How long, Lena?” He repeated with certain anger in his insistence that made her run a hand through her hair, trying to stay calm.
“It doesn’t change anything,” she whimpered, and he gave her a disbelief look.
“Of course it does,” he said, the anger starting to show in his tone and making her want to disappear.
“Calum, are you still leaving tomorrow?” she asked, mimicking his tone, which seemed to disarm him, the frustration in his face being replaced by something she can't read while she matched his glare.
“Yes," he answered, determined and yet defeated, the heat in his words completely gone.
"Then nothing has changed."
As the last chorus of She Looks So Perfect played, Lena wished she could tell her younger self how wrong she was. She had asked Calum if they could talk after the show and she still didn’t know what to tell him.
Why did they ever think it was a good idea to do this whole friends-with-benefits thing? Why did he think that that was the way to go on about their whole dynamic when both of them knew she would always want more? Why she had agreed to it was another mystery, but she just knew she would take anything she could from him, no matter how bad it was for her sanity. The sanity she could feel slipping away with every passing second as she sits alone in the dressing room. The sanity that’s almost completely gone when Calum opens the door, still glowing in his post-concert high and all she can do is stare at him.
"I need to tell you something," Lena blurts out the second Calum closes the door behind him.
"What's wrong?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at her, moving closer to where she’s sitting by the mirrors.
"I'm staying here," she tells him, watching him waiting for a reaction.
"Here?" He asks as if her words didn't make sense and she sighs.
"I'm not going to LA," she explains and he huffs, giving her a disbelieving look.
"So you're just giving up?"
"No, of course not, but if I stay I can get my degree," she starts, but he interrupts her.
"Didn't you drop out?"
"Not exactly, I changed things around and I've been taking the classes online, but if I go back now and finish the practical stuff and my thesis, I can get my degree and be done with it in 6 months and I can still make the dates in my contract," she explains and the confusion in his face is slowly being replaced with hurt.
"Why didn't you tell me you were still in school?"
"I didn't tell anyone," she defends herself, and he gives her a pointed look, "you never cared much about school, so I didn't wanna bring it up."
"That's cool, Lena, I gotta go," he says, coldly and starts moving back to the door.
"What? Why?" She asks, getting up to get closer to him.
"This just got a hell of a lot more complicated," he tells her, and she snorts, thinking she should've expected this reaction.
"Nice," she grunts, rolling her eyes, "we're back to it's complicated. "
"You’re gonna stay here and I’ll be all the way across the world, so yeah."
"Woah," she sighs with a skeptical look in her eyes.
"You can't just spring this on me and expect me to be thrilled about it," he protests and she shakes her head.
"But I kinda did, yeah, this is important to me."
"You should've talked to me."
"Yeah, well, last time I checked you are not my boyfriend so I don't need to ask for permission," she snaps and he takes a step back.
"We agreed on that," he argues and she rolls her eyes.
"No, you agreed."
"So you're putting half a world between us again because we're not in a relationship?"
"No, I'm doing this because I have no reason not to do this for me, and it's the easier solution."
"Great, tour is over, things were about to get too complicated anyway, it's better like this," he starts to brush it off and she's trying not to get worked up.
"There it is," she says, moving her arms in defeat.
"What? I'm telling you to do what you want."
"No, because this is when you give me a reason," she exclaims and he stops, understanding what she's asking for and dropping his shoulders.
"It's too," he starts to say another excuse and she stops him.
“God, you’re so infuriating!” Lena’s screaming and part of her thinks she should tone it down, but she’s suddenly just too angry to care. “Don't say it’s complicated, you either have feelings for me or you don’t, just be honest with me for fucks sake."
She didn’t know what to expect from her demand, but to watch as Calum walks closer to her, takes his necklace off, takes her hand, and lets it drop into it like it’s nothing was not something she would have predicted even if she did.
“I don’t feel anything for you, I never did,” he says, almost whispering, avoiding her eyes and she scoffs.
“I don’t believe you,” she glares at him, shaking her head as he continues to avoid looking at her.
“You can believe anything you want, that’s on you,” Calum’s walking away now, ready to leave her alone.
“Then how come you woke up with me for half the tour?” Her words make him stop but he doesn’t turn around.
“You were there and I didn't want to be lonely,” he says, after what feels like forever, still looking forward, hand on the doorknob and she feels the air being knocked out of her lungs.
“Fuck you, Calum." She cusses him out, way too low for her anger, and she doesn’t even know if he heard her, when he opens the door and leaves her there.
_____
“Andy, stop hoovering,” Lena snaps as he follows her around their apartment. She knows she’s lucky to have him, lucky he agreed to drop everything and go on tour with her, lucky he agreed to go back to where they were before it all and just help her get her degree, help her write her music. And she’s not angry with him. She’s just angry. And she wants to stay angry because if she lets herself feel anything else, she’s not sure she’ll ever recover.
“I’m worried, you haven’t said a word since we got off stage, Le,” he says, apologetic, and she groans.
“I can’t,” she whimpers, and he frowns at her.
“What’s so bad?” He stops, before changing the question, “What did he do when you told him?” He asks but she just shakes her head, “you did tell him, right?” She nods and he seems to be getting more confused by the second, “what happened, Le?”
“Not yet, I can’t face it yet,” she shakes her head, moving her hand to clutch the necklace that's now around her neck. No matter what happened between them, it was like it was always a sign that things would be okay. She had given that to Calum almost five years before when they booked their first gig.
“Calum, Calum, Calum,” Lena called his name repeatedly as she got closer, practically bouncing while she ran to him through the schoolyard.
“What?” He chuckled when she reached him.
“You’re not gonna believe what I found,” she said, breathlessly, leaning down on her legs and he continued to smile at her.
“What did you find?” He asked and she took a deep breath before standing straight again and matching his grin.
“Here,” she handed him a bag.
“I didn’t get you anything,” he mocked and she giggled, rolling her eyes.
“Just open it,” she smiled as he pulled the little jewelry box out of the bag.
“I was walking to school today and I saw it and I just had to get it,” she started babbling waiting for him to get as excited about it as she was when he opened the box and pulled a silver chain necklace from it, “It’s a bass and it matches my guitar, how cool is that?” She continued, shaking her wrist next to the hand he was holding the chain for him to see the similarity in the two charms and the grin on his face grew.
“We match now,” he pulled the necklace around his head, “thanks, love.”
“Do you like it?” she asked, adjusting the chain around his neck.
“Do I like it? Of course I do,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a bear hug, lifting her from the ground.
Lena can’t think about what happened. She can’t think about what it means, she can’t explain what happened, she can’t deal with the consequences, she needs to get out of that stupid outfit, burn it and pray she can burn the memory of that day along with it.
“Andy, I’m fine,” she tells him, whose hazel eyes that somehow matched hers are carefully watching her, “I just wanna break something or burn something so I’m gonna go to bed and hope I’m still just angry in the morning.”
“Okay,” he nods, moving out of her way, and she moves blindly around the apartment, robotically showering and putting on clothes comfortable enough for her to sleep. And she’s not sure why she’s padding through the apartment and stopping at Andy’s door until he notices her there.
“Le, what’s wrong?” he asks, shutting his laptop and sitting up.
“Can I sleep here with you today?” She asks, feeling silly, but the only thing she’s sure of at the moment is that she doesn't want to be alone.
“Yeah, come here,” he agrees, scooting over and patting the space beside him.
“What were you doing?” she asks when she’s settled beside him and he chuckles, opening the laptop again.
“Gaming,” he shows her, and she manages to smile at him.
“Okay, I’ll watch you lose then,” she jokes and he looks at her, faking outrage, before starting the game back up.
________
People always seemed to say the worst day is the first one, that things get easier with time, and Lena wants to find each and every person that ever said or thought that way and scream at them. The worst day is all days. Every time she thinks about what happened, every time she thinks about him, every time her stupid phone rings and it isn't him, every time she forgets and almost calls him. Every single little thing just makes her feel worse. And every time she thinks it can’t get worse than it already is, a new wave hits her and she’s being pulled deeper. She doesn’t even know how to begin to get over this when they weren’t even a thing to begin with.
The only good thing is that not knowing was working wonders for her productivity. She just throws herself at everything else, her degree, her writing, every time Lena thinks about Calum, she does something else. The problem is he's all she thinks about. So she's spending every waking hour avoiding how much she just wants to call him and then every sleeping hour dreaming about the good days, or about him showing up at her door. She can't take it anymore.
At least she's better at avoiding it than the last time. A week was what it took for her to break the first time. Sure the mess of her telling him she was in love with him when he was back for a week and about to leave again felt like nothing compared to what she’s feeling now.
"Can you just get him on the phone, please?" Lena was begging Michael, the only one who made the mistake of answering her and the one that was too nice to just hang up on her after he realized it had been a mistake.
"He won't take it," he told her, and she groaned. She knew that. The number of calls and texts he ignored made that pretty obvious.
"Put me on speaker then."
"L, maybe another," he tried reasoning with her but she was beyond reasoning, Calum would talk to her even if she had to find a way to get to him.
"He can't keep ignoring me," she screeched to the phone.
"L, he doesn't," he tried again, but she interrupted him again.
"Michael, I'll keep calling all of you until someone gets him to talk to me, don’t make me find a way to fly to fucking London, because I will," she told him and he sighed.
She waited, listening while Michael said "Just take the fucking phone, mate, please."
"Hello?" Calum’s voice came through the phone and Lena had hoped it would make her feel better, but it actually only made her angry.
Lena’s not cracking this time. No, she won’t call. She’ll think about calling, she’ll write about calling, hell, she’ll walk into the studio one day with a crumpled-up piece of paper in her hands and convince everyone there that opening the album with a song that reads like a voicemail is the best idea she’s ever had. And it works. She writes, she studies, she lets the label convince her she’s ready to put out a single, she lets the label talk to her about performances that can work around her school schedule, she puts out a music video, she gets invited to perform the song in an award show and she doesn’t crack. Sure, she picks up the phone to call Calum every time anything happens, she types and deletes texts, she stalks his Instagram, but she doesn’t actually try to reach him. Not once. She would be proud of herself if every song she wrote wasn’t about him, if he wasn’t always running around in her mind. Not that she could really remember a day where he wasn’t in the background of her thoughts. Sure it was easier when they were teens and she could find a new boy to pretend to be obsessed over during recess and act like she never felt anything other than friendship towards Calum. But now? Now she couldn’t even look at someone else. And she tried. Going out and finding a body to get lost in. But everyone just felt wrong. She could still feel him under her skin all the time. And it didn’t help that not long after Calum left the “Calum Hood from 5 Seconds of Summer Spotted in LA with *insert the name of the woman Lena refused to learn here*” headlines started to appear on her phone. She just wants to stop feeling this way.
But every bad day, every thought, every song, couldn’t make her feel as bad as she’s feeling right now, static ringing in her ears, as she walks back to the dressing room.
"Fuck, I can't do this," Lena’s properly panicking. She had never felt this nervous before in her life. Sure, she agrees to do one performance because it wouldn't mess with her school schedule and he's there. She should've seen that one coming, the universe seemed to have a sick sense of humor when it comes to her.
"Le, it's okay, the rehearsal was great," Andy says, thinking it can help calm her down, watching as she’s almost hyperventilating when she sits in the chair and drops her forehead to the makeup counter.
"That's not why I can't do it," she groans when her breathing evens out and Andy moves closer to her, frowning.
"Then why?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.
“He’s here,” she chokes on her words and he stares at her in confusion.
“Who?”
"Calum, Calum's here," she screeches at him, and he scoffs, rolling his eyes.
"And?"
"I can't do this, I can't sing a song I wrote about how I'm still in love with him with him sitting there somewhere."
"You can't be serious," he's looking at her like she's crazy and she can't help but kind of agree with it. It does sound crazy.
"I can't."
"Lena Alisson Summers you will not miss out on this because of him," he tells her and she feels the air escaping her again.
"Andy, I," she begins but he interrupts her.
"No, I've sat with you crying for weeks, we're writing a kick-ass album and you're going to go out there and you're going to sing that stupid single. I don't care that you haven't seen him since that day, I don't care that you're still in love with him, you worked too hard for this and he's not going to fuck this up," he pulls her up to her feet, forcing her to look at him.
"But," she tries again.
"No buts or I'll go out and I'll kick his butt like I've been wanting to do for months now," he tells her, narrowing his eyes and she starts laughing.
"Did you just say butt?" She asks in between breaths, laughing so much and he rolls his eyes.
"Whatever, I made you laugh," he shrugs.
"Thank you," she tells him, throwing her arms around his neck.
*****
“Shit,” Lena definitely should’ve seen that one coming. Of course, they would come to the after-party, why wouldn’t they come to the after-party? She was downing the, what shot was she in now? She had lost count after the 10th, or the 12th, or maybe the 15th, but she had just put the shot glass down when she heard Michael’s laughter, followed by Luke’s voice, and then her heart stopped when she heard Calum’s. And now she’s in flight mode, roaming the halls, mind hazy, looking for a place to hide. She pushes a door open, finds a room, and moves around blindly looking for somewhere to plug her phone. She plugs it and leans her forehead on the wall trying to get the world to stop spinning so fast.
"You okay?" Calum asked, turning his head at a weird angle so he could try to see Lena. She wasn't exactly thinking straight, she needed comfort and at that moment, that was Calum, so she had just walked into the room, made a straight line to him, who was standing there doing something she didn't bother to check, and leaned into to his back, her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt and closed her eyes, breathing him in.
"I'm just so tired," she mumbled, and she felt more than heard the soft chuckle he let out. They'd been back out on tour for about a month now and it was killing her. Four concerts a week was not something she was handling well. She thought that the occasional recording session she had to do during the first leg of the tour was the worst it could get, but she was wrong. "How the hell have you managed to do this for years?"
"You get used to it," he shrugged and moved a hand to pat her head.
"I was in college, I stayed up for two whole days once and I wasn't as exhausted as I am right now," she said, letting her arms fall to his hips, leaning more heavily into him.
"Can I turn around? Or will you fall if I do that?"
"If I fall just leave me there, maybe I can take a nap," she joked, leaning back on her feet as he turned to face her. Not that she gave him the chance, she dropped back into him the second he stopped moving, her forehead against his chest and her arms wrapping around his waist, and he laughed, his chin resting on the top of her head and his arms wrapping around her.
"Lena, what the hell are you doing?" Something snaps Lena out of her daydream and for some reason, she had thought that in her state of intoxication Calum's voice wouldn't have any effect on her. Oh, was she wrong. Hidden between the bed and wall, and not sure how she got on the floor, she's happy she's sitting down because the sound still makes her knees weak and her heart speeds up, the sight of him standing by the end of the bed looking at her making her forget how to breathe. She’s just waiting for her phone to charge enough for her to get an uber and get out of there before he could find her, so she could avoid having to face him. Of course, she didn’t have that luck. He looks so good, with a black button-down shirt, and his hair looking longer, curlier even, and disheveled just the right amount for her to lose track of what she was planning to say. Why did he have to look so good it made her forget everything else all the time? It wasn't fair.
"I'm leaving," she mumbles, only thinking about how she needs to get away from him, pulling the charger out the wall, shoving it in her purse, and getting up on wobbly legs, holding on to the bed frame, before sitting down so she can take her heels off when she keeps feeling like she’s going to fall.
Calum watches as she gets up struggling to not help as she moves less than gracefully, her dress riding up her thighs and her phone and shoes hanging precariously on her hand, but being unable to not hold her up when she trips on her feet as she tries to walk around him. She pushes his hands away from her, looking up at him with glazed eyes, the hurt evident in the way they’re glistening as tears begin to form and he sighs. He had definitely never seen her that drunk before.
"And you're leaving how?" He asks, so softly her heart aches and she blinks a couple of times chasing the tears away.
"I'll get an Uber," she answers, her voice barely a whisper, walking away.
"Come on, love, you're too drunk, let me drive you," he pleads, turning around and grabbing her wrist to stop her from going further.
"Don't fucking call me that," she shakes her head, yanking her arm away and he frowns at her, looking puzzled at the sudden anger in the movement.
"What?"
"Love," she replies through gritted teeth, and his head dropped, "last time I saw you, you were making a point about how you were only using me, so you don't get to call me love."
"Lena, I," he pleads, looking back into her eyes, not knowing what to do about the hurt he’s seeing there.
"What? You're feeling lonely again? Or you're just upset you're seeing the damage you've done?" she barks, glaring at him and he takes a step back, pressing his lips together.
"That's not fair."
"Not fair? Oh, I'm sorry, the fact I have loved you for half my life and you were only using me because I was there is not fair to you?" She snaps at him, stepping closer to him and staring him down as he opens and closes his mouth looking for an answer.
"I-" he starts but doesn’t finish, his shoulders falling and looking helplessly at her.
"You what? Huh?" She barks at him, the anger in her voice not replacing the hurt in her eyes, "You what? You're sorry? You didn't mean it?” She feels the fight slipping away from her, looking up at him she wants to hug him just as much as she wants to punch him, maybe more. “What the fuck do you have to say to me, Calum?" Her voice cracks saying his name, and he tilts his head, looking sadly at her.
"I just wanna make sure you get home safe," he tells her, and she purses her lips, feeling defeated as she nods at his words.
"And I don't want anything from you," she says, walking away and ignoring as he calls her name, going down the hall and the stairs as steadily and as fast as she could.
'Lena, wait," she’s already out the door and is standing on the porch waiting for the phone to turn back on when Calum snatches it from her hands.
"What?" She snaps at him, trying to grab the phone back and he holds it out of her reach.
"Let me drive you," he pleads and she groans.
"No, now give it back," she reaches for the phone again and he moves it to his other hand.
"Please."
"No!” She all but screams at him, but he continues to look at her with pleading eyes.
“Lena,” he starts, but she interrupts him.
“Stop, just leave me alone, I don’t want to see you, or talk to you, or let you drive me, I don’t fucking need your pity, just leave me the fuck alo-" she’s getting worked up and she desperately wants him to stop looking at her like that when she gets cut out.
"Are you guys okay?" Michael asks, emerging through the door, looking between them, and Lena groans.
"I just wanna go home, but he won't let me just get a fucking uber," she complains, taking advantage of the fact that Calum’s distracted looking at Michael to take her phone back.
They seem to have some sort of telepathic communication going on because Michael nods slightly at Calum, whose shoulders visibly relaxed, the pleading look in his eyes being directed to the floor when Michael speaks.
"I can take you," he offers and Lena sighs.
"No, Mike, it's fine, there's no," she starts to brush it off but he interrupts her.
"No, no, I insist, come on," Michael says, throwing an arm around her shoulder, taking her shoes from her with his other hand. Lena looks back at Calum and watches as he mouths a "thank you," and Michael nods again before guiding them away.
_____
It probably sounds crazy but Lena feels him before she sees him. She feels the pull that used to make her feel warm inside and she gives into it before she could realize what she's doing. She's in an event she doesn't want to be in. Her heels are hurting her feet and her dress is itchy and uncomfortable and she's alone. Sometimes she wondered if the reason Andy didn't want to start a band was to avoid this side of the obligations. If it's just her name on the poster then he can get out of anything he doesn't feel like doing.
That means she has no one to stop her from slowly turning, looking around from her place by the bar in the back of the very expensively decorated room, and spotting Calum and Ashton shaking the hand of one of the many executives in that place.
She giggles to herself at how their button-down shirts matched, Ashton's white with black stripes and Calum's black with white stripes, before she fully registers Calum's outfit. She doesn't know if she absolutely loves or hates whoever is responsible for the suit he's wearing, the jacket fitting just right and the shirt with just enough open buttons so that he looks casual but put together, making her breath get caught in the throat and she needs to press her lips together to stop her jaw from dropping. That outfit was a far cry from the cutout band tees and flannels and it was bad for her health. He has a new haircut too, shorter on the sides and straight all around. Yeah, she's definitely not over him. She turns around before she can get caught staring and asks for a refill when someone says her name.
"Ash, hi," she screeches, before clearing her throat and awkwardly giving him a hug when he steps closer to her.
"It's been a while, how have you been?" He asks, leaning his hip into the bar beside her.
"Okay, busy, you?" She manages to answer, kicking herself internally for not being able to form a full sentence, and he raises an eyebrow at her.
"I've been great," he replies when the bartender slides Lena a new glass, "what are you drinking?" He asks, casually, and suddenly she's struggling to figure out why she feels so awkward.
"Just coke," she chuckles, "I have a final tomorrow. The last one," she adds when he gives a questioning look, "a final final. That's a weird sentence," she frowns at her own words and he smiles at her.
"So you're done with school?" He asks and she nods, sipping her drink. She knows he's probably fishing for information but she doesn't mind, she's too uncomfortable there to not appreciate his friendly face.
"Pretty much, yeah."
"And how's the album coming along? I liked the singles so far," he gives her a knowing look and she rubs her neck. She had put out 2 songs already and the label wanted to set a release date for the full album soon.
"They're trying to convince me it's done, but I feel like something is missing," she tells him. No one really understood why she wasn't fully happy with what she had yet, but Ashton seems to get it, nodding slightly.
"You'll find it," he tells her and she nods.
"How's the hiatus going? Already climbing up the walls because you need to make music?" She jokes and he chuckles.
"Yeah, I don't think I need any more downtime."
"I figured," she smiles and he points behind him from above his shoulder.
"I have to go back now, but it was great seeing you."
"Yeah, it really was."
"I'll see you around then," he winks at her and she smiles while nodding as he walks away.
She's still feeling awkward, moving around the room, greeting people she thinks she's supposed to know. She honestly can't remember. She's just wandering around waiting until she's been there long enough so she can leave. Maybe that's why she ends up in a corner with Calum standing in front of her.
"Lena," he greets her and she's too in her head to do anything other than just stand there, staring at him and letting the smell of his cologne invade her nostrils while he studies her. God, she misses him.
"Calum," she breathes when she finds her voice, after a moment where they just looked at each other, "I gotta go," she tells him, trying to move around her but he steps in front of her, grabbing her arm.
"Wait," he tells her and she sighs, stopping and looking into his eyes, while his gaze drops to her wrist. She pulls her arm away, but he just keeps looking at it. Or more exactly, looking at the bracelet hanging there.
"Love, can we-" Calum called Lena, motioning to the side of the room. She frowned at him but nodded and he moved to the corner he pointed at, with her following.
"Something's wrong?" She asked when he stopped. He was making her anxious. To be fair she had been anxious since he told her, practically bouncing with excitement, about how he got into the football training thing. In Brazil. She hoped she looked excited for him. Because she was. She just didn't want him to go away for a full month.
"Nothing is wrong, I just got you something," he told her, pulling a little box out of his pocket.
"Why did you get me something?" She asked, accepting the box, but looking at him with confusion.
"You know why," he shrugged, and she nodded. She did know. He'd leave for Brazil soon and that meant he'd miss her birthday. "Just open it."
She smiled at him and then down at the box in her hand, pulling the lid out and finding a silver chain bracelet with an acoustic guitar charm. She'd been learning how to play and she felt her heart swell with affection towards him.
"It's amazing, thank you, I'll never take it off," she promised, pulling it out of the box and putting the box in her pocket. She struggled with the clasps for a few seconds before looking at Calum, who was watching her, amused. "Can you help me?" She pouted, reaching her wrist for him, who clasped it easily.
"There," he said, fixing the charm and her smile was so big her cheeks hurt.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she chanted, throwing her arms around his neck.
"What?" She asks when he doesn't do anything else, and that seems to snap him out of the trance he's in when he shakes his head and looks back up at her face.
"I didn't plan this far ahead," he tells her rubbing his neck and she makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and snort and looks at him with disbelief.
"What?"
"I didn't think you'd actually listen to me," he explains and she cocks her head, furrowing her eyebrows, trying not to laugh at the situation.
"Right, I'm gonna go then," she moves around him and he turns around following her movements.
"Lena," he tries again and she stops, turning to him.
"Yes?" She asks, sounding more annoyed than she actually feels.
"I miss you," he finally says and she stands there, looking at him watching her with anxious eyes and she purses her lips, nodding slightly and sadly as she sighs.
"Yeah, me too," she tells him, turning around to leave for real this time. And as she's walking away she's not sure if she meant that she misses him or if she just misses her old self.
___________
I don't have a tag list but you read this and feel like reading the rest when i get to it, feel free to hit me up and i'll tag in the next part.
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naralanis · 4 years ago
Text
little bumps in the road (pt. 22)
Previously on LBitR...
Despite J’onn’s somewhat encouraging parting words, Lena felt anything but prepared once he left her and Alex to their brightly lit little cells in this god-forsaken bunker.
Yeah, she ‘knew.’ So what?
At the very least, it just means that she needs to anticipate Lex’s next move. Fantastic; it’s not like she’s been trying and failing to do precisely that for as long as she’s known him.
At best, it means J’onn is hinting at some kind of advantage he seems to think she possesses. That’s the part Lena hasn’t quite figured out yet, and the clock is ticking. For all she knows, Kara may as well be flying right over their heads, and they would be none the wiser… that is, until Lex decides it’s time to play with his toys.
Alex grumbles in her cell, the sheets of her cot rustling as she shifts to sit up. She blinks at Lena for a few moments, studying her, yet not surprised to see her there in the slightest.
She looks like shit.
“Please tell me you’ve got a watch,” Alex mumbles in lieu of a greeting, voice hoarse and slightly groggy.
Lena shakes her head in the negative. Her eyes are glued to the bandages at Alex’s temple—they are crisp and clean, except for a slight, dark red spot right at the center. The agent follows her line of sight with a wry chuckle.
“I tried to get at mine, too,” she explains with a droopy wave at her temple and a tight shrug. “Almost got it, too, before Brainy informed me I was about to melt my brain or something. Lovely little gizmo your brother got us.”
Lena sighs, ashamed despite herself. Alex keeps on speaking, sounding amused—Lena isn’t sure if it’s because she’s using humour to cope with this thoroughly unpleasant, hopeless situation, or if the painkillers they gave her were just that good.
“I have to admit, I am glad I didn’t try it with a fucking piece of glass,” Alex quips as she stands up and stretches. Lena can hear the pop of every vertebrae as the agent cranes her neck.
“So,” Alex continues in the face of Lena’s silence, approaching the crystal-clear barrier separating them and clapping her hands loudly. Her walk is still a little wobbly. “We can’t get these things off. What’s the plan then, Luthor?”
Lena—who so far has just been standing in the same spot, biting her lip and mulling over what J’onn had said—whips back to face the agent so fast she almost gives herself whiplash.
“Plan?” she says, feeling her voice squeak in the way it often does when she’s about to descend into hysterics. That has been happening a little too frequently as of late, so she takes a moment to close her eyes and breathe deeply through her nose, centering herself.
“There is no plan,” she says, crossing her arms—the cast makes the familiar action a tad awkward, and it takes her a few seconds to get it somewhat right.
Alex simply eyes her impassively for a few moments, and then loudly sucks air through her teeth and releases it. “OK, then,” she says, not sounding as resigned as the situation probably warrants, which throws Lena for a loop. “So, we make a new one.”
Lena wants to make a sarcastic comment about what kind of meds they must have given Alex for her to entertain such a ridiculous notion, but she reins it in at the last moment and opts for a skeptical quirk of her brow instead.
“By all means,” she drawls, unable to keep her sarcasm fully at bay. “If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears, because I frankly don’t have any. We’re locked in an underground bunker until Lex decides to have his way with the nifty little implants he gave us.”
Alex nods, smacking her lips. “I don’t accept that.”
Lena releases a humorless laugh. “I suggest you start,” she waves her broken hand around her cell. “Because it’s pretty hard to ignore.”
Alex takes a few more steps forward; she’s so close her breath fogs the glass. “Then work it out, Luthor.” She puts a finger on the glass; it thunks oddly loudly against the smooth surface as she taps away to punctuate her words. “The way I see it, Lex is going to activate these things in our heads any minute now. I would very much like either of us not hurting my baby sister, thank you very much. So out with it.”
Lena huffs, irked by the demand. “You think I want to hurt Kara? You think I wanted to do it the first time?!”
“You have hurt her before,” Alex retorts. Her tone is calm, but Lena feels it like a slap in the face. “I don’t think you wanted to kill her, but you did encase her in Kryptonite. Don’t act like you’re above hurting her.”
Lena wants to say something back, but her words are stuck in her throat. Alex doesn’t give her a chance to recover and speak, but the gentleness in her tone keeps throwing Lena off.
“And that’s exactly what Lex is going to use against you—what he has used against you already.” She smiles, a little sadly. “You wouldn’t be standing there thinking about what J’onn said if you didn’t think there’s something you can use to get us all out of this mess.”
Lena only realizes she’s crying when her tears cool her cheeks in the dry air of the cell. She steps forward, almost as close to the barrier as Alex is. “It might be nothing,” she says, biting at her lip.
Alex puts her whole palm onto the glass. “But it might be something.”
Lena lets out a wry laugh. “Maybe.” She looks back at Alex, focus narrowing at the bandages at her temple and her matching ones in the reflection of the glass. “When you tried to reach your suppressed memories, how did it feel?”
“Like shit.” Alex shrugs. “Well. That’s an understatement,” she adds on, running a hand through her cropped hair. “It was agony. Hot. Like… lightning in my head. White and bright.”
Lena nods. “When Lex captured me… He triggered something like that—he used specific words to trigger that reaction; though I felt it before… when you met me and Kara in Metropolis, when I tried to remember what really happened.”
Lena’s gaze meets with Alex, and the agent looks more than a little lost. Lena surmises her memories aren’t entirely back just yet. She sighs, waving it away. “That’s not important. But I did accidentally manage to… snap out of it—I stopped whatever he triggered, somehow. And then I tried to dig out the implant,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.
Alex’s forehead bumps against the glass. “How did you stop it?”
Lena chuckles wryly, and raises her casted hand. “I shocked my body out of it,” she explains. “I slammed my broken hand onto a table, and the pain gave me something else to focus on. Then I just…” she flounders, then, because how can Lena explain that she packed whatever Lex had triggered in her brain away into a mental box without sounding like a lunatic?
“You just what?”
Lena sighs, knocks her head against the barrier in frustration. “I put it away,” she mumbles.
Alex blinks. “Excuse me. You did what now?”
“I put it away, Alex. I—I don’t know, I compartmentalized it. I separated it from whatever else I was thinking and feeling, until I could get a handle on it.”
She turns her gaze back to Alex, ready to see the judgement in her eyes, ready to hear her tell Lena she thinks she’s crazy.
To her surprise, the agent looks… impressed.
“OK,” Alex says slowly. “Do you think you could do it again?”
Lena opens her mouth, closes it again. That’s the question, isn’t it? Is that what she’s prepared for? Is that what J’onn meant when he said she knows what to expect?
“Maybe,” she says, only half believing it. “I don’t know.”
“Do you remember what Lex said to trigger the implant?”
Lena nods a somber affirmative. “Do you?”
Alex shakes her head, but her gaze is hopeful. “If you do, maybe… maybe you can turn it around. It’s like a magic trick,” she says, trying to be helpful. “Once you know how it works, the illusion is gone.”
Lena wants to point out that Q-wave and memory manipulation is far from a simple magic trick, but Alex’s words resonate in her mind—how much has she replayed exactly what Lex had said when he left her?
She opens her mouth to speak, but a loud buzzing interrupts her. It seems to be coming from Alex’s pocket—the agent gives her a sheepish look as she pulls out something that looks like a pager.
“I do hope you figure it out soon,” Alex says, eyeing the device grimly. She turns to show Lena a miniscule screen—the contraption was obviously left by Nia or Brainy for one purpose and one purpose only, and Lena’s heart is in her throat when she sees the recognizable sigil blinking over a familiar map. “Because Kara’s back.”
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2-the-moon-and-2-saturn · 3 years ago
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so i finally caught up on the supergirl episodes before crisis and will be giving my thoughts and feelings on how the whole supercorp situation was handled
first of all, i keep thinking about how it took lena months to tell kara she knew about supergirl, which she justified a number of times throughout the season: she wanted to make kara hurt like she hurt, she was able to use kara this way, yadda yadda. but if you watch her interactions with the superfriends during that time, you see her smile so often. like she’s treasuring every little moment with her whole heart. almost like she’s trying memorize every bit, preparing for a goodbye that she keeps postponing.
because yeah, kara may have lied to her, but deep down, lena knows kara loves her. she can’t trust kara, but she can trust her love and it’s shown time and time again by how comfortable she is with putting herself in harm’s way (literally jumping off a cliff a second after she used the watch, for example). and that’s already so different from anything she’s ever known, because even with relationships that mattered to lena, she used to be the protector (i.e with andrea or pre-supergirl kara). so hell yeah she wanted to enjoy some of that. she had the opportunity to feel kara’s love at 100% for the first time, and she took it. to actually feel like a hero when her best friend in the world chose to work with her to take down bad guys.
lena could tell herself whatever she wanted about how strategically beneficial it would be to pretend like nothing had changed (and she definitely took advantage of that), but i think her driving force was way simpler: she wasn’t ready to let kara go.
even in the fortress, you see her trying to take myriad behind kara’s back - which is so damn stupid because obviously kara would notice, but she tried. because i think a part of her still was putting off the inevitability of what was going to happen once kara found out the truth. lena was living in denial for way longer than just s5, and i think she wasn’t ready to give that up.
another thought: the episode showing the source of lena’s distrust was very eye-opening, but my favorite part is the fact that she used to have another very intense female friendship before kara. sapphic women know how this is: monogamic intense friendships whose end always break you. lena had a boyfriend, but she didn’t hesitate to say that andrea was the person she’d loved most, the one she would have done anything for. and don’t get me wrong, i’m all for girl power and friendship, but if there’s one thing life has taught me it’s that no matter how intense your friendship is, a straight girl will always end up loving her eventual boyfriend more. not because she’s evil, but because romantic love is just too maddening.
if i’m being honest, i’m not sure what kind of a read to get on kara. but lena, that’s a girl in love.
a girl in love with the person who gave her everything when she had nothing, who gave her a family, who gave her hope, who gave her the chance to be blindingly loyal once again. and who took that all away because once again, it seemed like lena cared more about her than she did about lena. and there’s not much that’s more heartbreaking than that.
let me make myself clear: this is a theory and basically a rambling trip i have gone on based on what i’ve seen in the sapphic community and what i have experienced. it means nothing more than that, so if you don’t agree, feel free to just ignore it, because i don’t feel like arguing with anyone over a television series.
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voidclrx · 4 years ago
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can u do a oneshot of yelena x fem!s/o soulmate AU (when u meet your soulmate for the first time, u can finally get to see colours).
oooh i like the idea !
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yelena x fem!reader | soulmate!au
tw : none! only fluff yelena 🥺
summary : you were living in a world where everyone only get to see monochrome colours. but it was until meeting your soulmate. y/n was a part of them, waiting for meeting hers, but a miracle will happen.
note : hope you'll like it!! hope i didn’t made too ooc
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walking through the city, you were heading to mikasa’s house. you can wait to see them, since you decided to have a chill night by talking about stuff and watching movies.
finally arriving at mikasa’s house, you gently knocked at the door. you saw her, opening the door. "hi, come enter!". she said smiling at you as she stepped on the side for letting you go in the house. "so how are you, y/n?". "fine!! and you?". you replied. you were so happy to see her since you didn’t for almost 2 months. so you complained to her. "girl i missed you so much". "me too, a lot". mikasa was your bestfriend, you were always there for each other, you know her since your high school year, and she was one of your friends that didn’t let you at the end. you stepped towards the living room and sat on the sofa. mikasa looks at you, as she opened her mouth to speak. "so? any news of your soulmate or something?". you wanted to cry, tired of seeing the world as a monochromatic paint. "no... i’m so done with it, im tired of that". you let out a tear down your cheek, mikasa looks at you with a sorry gaze. "don’t worry you’ll find them one day". "i hope soon..." you sighed. "i hope for you". "okay, no time for fun!!". you yelled happily, trying to avoid this subject for the night, you wanted to enjoy it without problem.
drinking your last glass of alcohol, you put it in the table, "okay i think i have to go, it’s late now". "you sure? i mean you drink alcohol, you can stay here!". mikasa observed as she seems to be worried. but of course, you reassured her. "no need to worried, i’m totally okay mika’". "y-you sure?". she asked, still with her worried gaze. sometimes you forgot that mikasa was a protective friend. "yes i am! i’ll be quick, my apartment is not too far from here". you reassured her. "okay, but if there is any problems call me, i’ll be there in a second!". she exclaimed. you smiled at her and nodded your head for forming a yes. as soon as you’re out, the cold air hits your face which surprised you a bit. you liked walking at night, it was so relaxing and you can forgetting your stress for a moment. contemplating the landscape, sadly with a monochrome view, you let out a loud sigh. you were wondering yourself, what would it be to see colours. you can’t help but thinking that it must be the most beautiful thing ever.
as you continuing walking towards your flat, you heard someone crying alone in an alley, they were sitting, their face in knees. you don’t know why but you want to help them, so you slowly approached. "hey, u-uhm. is everything okay? i heard you crying...". you asked, squatting near them. "d-did i-i look like i am?” they replied, snorting. "you’re right.... uhm i know that we don’t know each other but do you want to talk about it with me?" you asked softly, wanting to help them. they look up at you and smiled a bit. "i would like since everyone i know didn’t want to listen to me". their voice cracked at the end of the sentence. "like you know, people who didn’t meet their soulmate, have to deal with seeing only monochromatic colours, and i didn’t meet mine soon. but any of my friends did have meet theirs. but since a month, everyone is leaving me because of that, they don’t want to talk with me anymore, i don’t even know why". they explained as their story broke your heart. "people and their stupidity. listen, if you want to, come with me. i mean we can learn about each other and being friends. i’m in the same situation as you, my soulmate didn’t appear yet". their face brightened as you said that. "r-really? are you serious?". "yes i am, come we’re going to a bar". you said smiling at them. you know that this person look really gentle, you can feel it.
as you arrived in the bar, you both sat on a table facing each other. you decided to start the conversation as they look at you. "so, first what’s your name?". "i-i am yelena, and you?" . "mine is y/n. oh and i like your name, it’s beautiful!". you said making them smiling. you cant see at this moment but you can feel that they are blushing. "oh and not wanting to offend you, b-but, uhm, are you a girl or a boy". you asked, embarrassing, since this type of remark can be weird to ask. "i’m a girl aha! and don’t worry, i know that people can be confused since i have a pretty androgynous look". she said while smiling for reassured you. "ah yeah, i see, and-". a waitress cut you in your conversation, for asking what you were going to drink. yelena begin to choose what she wanted. "i'm gonna take a black coffee, thanks". "and me, a [fav drink]". you said smiling. the waitress on her paper your command and go preparing it. "so, are you studying something? are you in college?". "yes i study law in sina wall college actually!". your eyes widened open as you realised that? she's in the same college as you. "wow like me, sadly i didn't saw you in there before, you are in your first year?". "aha i'm in my second year actually, but i guess we're gonna see each other more in college!". she replied as her face lightened, seeing that she's maybe going to had a new friend.
days are passing since you met yelena, and she's really a good person. after class, you met each others for finishing the afternoon together, eating an ice cream or something and speaking about school and others stuffs. and you were still amazed by her height. "by the way, i never asked you but how tall are you, yelena?". you asked innocently. "uhm around 6"7, i think". she replied, smiling at you. you were walking side by side in the streets, as you passed by a bakery. you wanted small strawberry pie so bad. "yelena please, may we stop here? i want a tartlet". you begged, drooling before the bakery's window. "sure! which one you want?". you choose the strawberry one. the baker take it from the stand and give it to her. as you both go out of the bakery, you continue to walking, looking for a place to sat. you stop yourselves in front of a park, and go inside. "there!". you exclaimed, seeing a free bench. you started to eat your pie, watching at the beautiful flowers, and then, looking to yelena. she's so beautiful, you thought. as you turned around again the flowers, you remarked something. some of them weren't black or white, they were yellow or blue. you couldn't believe what you were seeing, you rubbed your eyes to be sure not to hallucinate. "w-what the fuck?". "you okay". she asked confused by your sudden exclamation. " 'lena the flowers, the flowers! i saw them in colours... i can believe it! i'm so h-". you turned around toward yelena, seeing her crying. "y/n i-i think that i am too". you jumped to hug her. "yelena... i'm so happy for us. who do you think is our soulmate?". "y/n, i don't think that we have to search a lot for that". she said looking at you. you opened your eyes, shocked. understanding, that your soulmate was facing you. "that mean that we are soulmates?". yelena hugged you more tightly as she hide her face on your shoulders. you can feel her tears going down on her cheeks. "yes obviously we are". she said looking into your eyes again, her eyes was red because of the crying. "i can believe that i have finally met you, i'm so happy that you find me crying in this alley, now we can be happy toogether and enjoying our life". her words made you cried too, she had pretty beautiful way to express her feelings even if they didn't show them often. "i am happy too yelena, now i want to see everything that i didn't have the chance to see in colours!". you giggled. you can’t wait to announced it to mikasa. "same for me, y/n". she smiled at you.
now your life will finally change, since you met the person who is related to you, and this person was yelena.
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i’m laughing at the name of the college 😭😭
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supercorpkid · 3 years ago
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hai!! im LOVING that i found this gem of an account of yours 🤩 could i request a scenario where supercorp's reaction to their daughter cutting their hair really short,, (girl crush vibes)?? I'm loving your works the more i read!!
YAY!!! That makes me so happy to hear it!
Here’s how I think they would react like. Thanks for the prompt!
Haircut
Word Count: 1510.
“I wanna cut my hair.” You announce, walking in the kitchen and both Lena and Kara raise their eyes at you.
“Ok. I’ll get the red sun lamps and the scissors.” Kara agrees, motioning to leave.
“No, no.” You stop her before she leaves. “It’s nothing you can do.”
“Kid, I’ve been cutting your hair since you were born. I can do anything.” Kara says and you raise an eyebrow at her.
“Really?” She agrees with her head. “Then why do I have the same haircut ever since I was two?”
“That’s not-” Kara starts, but Lena cuts her off.
“It’s true. You basically only trim her bangs and sometimes the tips.”
“See.” You point at Lena. “I want a different haircut. I want it to be very very short.”
“But you have such pretty hair. Why would you do that?” Kara asks, looking confused. “Next thing you’ll say is that you grew out of bangs.”
“I did grow out of bangs, but there’s not much I can do except wait for it to grow now.” You shrug. “But the hair, yeah, I want to change it.”
“But-but-but” Kara says with tears in her eyes. You look at Lena.
“You know, maybe it’s not a good idea to cut your hair, baby. Wouldn’t it be weird if both Superkid and you got a haircut at the same time?” Lena asks, you first roll your eyes as a response, then you add.
“Superkid doesn’t exist anymore. Besides, didn’t Kara Danvers and Supergirl get bangs at the same time and no one noticed, including you?”
“I’ve noticed.” Lena mumbles. “I just didn’t want to comment on it because I thought it would be impolite.”
“Telling momma she got the same haircut as Supergirl would be impolite?”
“Yeah, and that she was too old for bangs.” Lena shrugs, making Kara snap her head up and look at her.
“What?” Kara furrows her brows at Lena. “I looked great in bangs! Here’s proof!” She points at your hair, and you sigh.
“Ok, whatever. Nevermind.”
But it’s not really whatever. And you might have said nevermind to them, but you mind. You really do mind.
Vou: Hey! Can you do me a solid?
Aunt Alex: What do you need?
You: Can I meet you at the DEO?
Aunt Alex: I’m here!
It takes you a while to get there. You must say, sometimes you miss being Superkid, just because it was so much easier to move around town. Oh, and much faster than a bus.
“Hey!” Alex greets you when you walk in the DEO. “It took you a while.”
“Yeah, I flew here on a bus.”
She laughs, rolling her eyes at your very Kara-like joke. “What do you need?
“Can you cut my hair?” She looks lost at the question, so you decide to give her more information. “You know, red sun emulator and scissors?”
“Right.” Alex agrees, making her way to where the red sun lamp is kept. “Doesn’t Kara usually cut your hair?”
“Usually, yeah. But I want to change styles a little. I was thinking more like 2015 Alex and less like 2020 Kara .”
“That’s a big change. Are they ok with it?”
“Aunt Alex-” You put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m 16. I’ve saved National City a few times. I think I can choose my own hairstyle.”
“Ok, kiddo.” Alex points at the chair. “Let’s do it! I’m up for you looking more like me! And my hair in 2015 was a look.”
You sit on the chair and Alex turns the red sun lamp on, so it dampens your powers. You give her a thumbs up and an excited smile.
Forget about the fact that you’re cutting half of your hair, because you think it would make it harder for people to recognize you. Forget about the fact that you believe it could take the weight off your shoulders. If glasses had been your disguise for years now, maybe a new haircut can buy you some time before people remember about your existence.
You shouldn’t focus on that. You should focus on the excitement that change brings into a person’s life. And maybe this outside change can help you with your inside change too.
“Ok. Oh my God, I swear you look like a total badass.” Alex puts the scissor down and you look to the floor and see big chunks of your hair lost in there. Ok. You hope she’s right. “Here, look.”
Alex raises the mirror in front of your face, and you smile at yourself. Perfect. You not only look like a total badass, but somehow you also don’t look like yourself.
“It’s perfect.” You stand up from the chair, throwing your arms around her. “Thanks aunt Alex. You’re the best. I’m gonna go show Jamie.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m here for you, kiddo.”
So far the reactions to your new haircut have been:
Alex: You look like a total badass.
Kelly: Oh, wow. You look so fancy with this new hairstyle!
Jamie: Oh my God. OH MY GOD! You don’t even look like a dipshit anymore! I love it!
Maya: Uh. You-You-Uh-How-Oh God, it’s hot in here, isn’t it? Babe, you look so good it’s hard to get my words out.
And now, onto your moms reaction:
“Hey babygirl, where were y-'' Lena looks at you with incredulity in her eyes. “You cut your hair.”
“Mhm.” You walk past her, pretending it’s not a big deal. Lena holds your arm before you move away.
“Let me look at you.” She asks, and you stop, staring at her with an expectant smile. Her hands go to your hair, as she feels them on her hands, twisting a lock on her fingers, then putting it behind your ear. “You look beautiful, baby.”
“You think so?” You ask, with a bigger smile now.
“You always look beautiful.” She holds your head and kisses your forehead.
“Do you think momma will like it too?”
Lena furrows her brows. “What? Where did you get a haircut if not with Kara?” Eyes wide. “Don’t tell me you went to a hair salon.”
“No! Mom, come on. It was aunt Alex.” You give her a reassuring smile.
“Alex did this? Huh. Can’t believe I’ve been flying to Paris to have my hair cut when she can do stuff like that to one’s hair.”
“Hey love! Oh, and who’s that?” Kara asks, coming inside the house from the backyard door. You turn around to look at her with a smile. “Oh.”
Kara’s brain seems to be malfunctioning as she only stares at you saying nothing and with no other reaction. Your smile slowly fades as you wait.
“Kara? Say something!” Lena says and she finally blinks.
“Oh, you got a haircut!” Kara furrows her brows. “Who-who cut your hair?”
“Aunt Alex.”
“Huh. Ok. Well, I’ll be right back.” Kara says and she flies away. You look back at Lena.
“She hated it.” You sigh woefully. Pout, and soon, you’re bawling your eyes out in Lena’s shirt. She tries to calm you down, but you can’t be stopped. You didn’t know you needed Kara’s approval that badly.
So you make your way to your bedroom, ready to not get out of bed for a while, wrap yourself in a blanket, and keep crying into your pillow.
“Hey.” Kara shows up a few minutes later. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not.” But you are. With your face squished against the pillow so she can’t see it.
“Can you look at me?”
“No. Go away.”
“Little one, please. I wanna show you something. Look at me, come on.” Kara asks and you turn your face slowly to look at her. You blink your eyes when you realize what it is that she wants to show you.
“You cut your hair like mine?” You sit up right away, and Kara smiles at you.
“Yes! I mean, I always wanted to cut my hair like that, but I was scared of how it would look, and then you did it. And Rao, you look so perfect! Like, kid, you legit look like a freaking rockstar. So, it would obviously look good on me too, right?” She looks so excited it’s hard to wrap your mind around it. “Right?”
“Yes! Of course! You look incredibly handsome, momma.” You say, and she lets out a relieved breath. “But what about the whole Supergirl and Kara Danvers getting the same haircut at the same time?”
“Oh.” She thinks about it for a second. “I mean, I got away with bangs. No way I won’t get away with this now.”
“I guess.” You shrug and Kara cleans your tears, with a smile.
“Go wash your face so we can take a selfie with the same haircut.”
“God, momma. No. You’re way too old for that.” You joke, and Kara shows you her tongue. But you still take a picture with her, because she does, indeed, look handsome and you want to show off your new haircut too.
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