#Lemme find out how much this crap is actually gonna cost me

[just-vito]

Your boy Jakey is committing B&E to leave money for the young guy at Tread’s garage. Bad livin’ situation. You gonna do anything about it?

You want him to commit B&E to steal shit instead? Let the kid do his thing.

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

                         I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at. 

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

 Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned. 

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you. 

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

 Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late. 

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears. 

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now. 

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up. 

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?�� he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

 Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

 But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

 Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Mowgli:  Legend of the Jungle”

Bet you didn’t see this one coming, huh?

Ohh I am ready.

The snakeskin over the logo though!

CATE BLANCHETT IS DOING THE INTRO?!?

OK, I can see where Netflix might have stepped in.  Some of the CG doesn’t look as... cinematic as expected.

*gasps when Shere Khan enters the scene*

*jaw drops when Bagheera stumbles upon baby Mowgli for the first time*

Oh shit, he picked him up like right after Mowgli’s parents died!  Dang!

Stock baby sounds!

This music is gorgeous and I’m like 3 minutes in now.

I already love the feel to this already.  I mean, so far, it’s following some similar beats to the Disney movie but it feels fresh and authentic. 

*gasps when Tabaqui charges in*

The animation on Tabaqui is awesome.

Even the script feels different and I like it. 

Baloo!

*gasps when Shere Khan invades the council*

Oh my gosh, the eye movements Shere Khan does are totally Benedict Cumberbatch

“If you take on me... you take on the pack.”  Holy shit you guys.

“The day you miss your kill, the man-cub’s blood will run down my chin.”  HOly shit.

Wait, this was the intro?!?  Holy crap!

So... stand outs already for the animals are Akela, Bagheera, Tabaqui, and Shere Khan.

“We look it in the eye so that the soul doesn’t depart alone.”  *softly* Hoooooo.....

Oh my God, did he [Mowgli] just eat a bug?

*sighs in relief when the scorpion crawls off Mowgli’s face*

Oh my gosh, that landscape is gorgeous

*smiles when Mowgli starts playing with Bhoot*

Oh my gosh, who plays the older brother?

I really like the relationship established with Mowgli and the other wolves. 

*gasps when Baloo slaps one of the cubs for not paying attention*

“But I’ve never had one of my cubs fail.”  Lemme guess, Mowgli’s gonna fail in the practice run, isn’t he?

God, don’t follow the freaking monkey!  That is literally low hanging fruit!

Aaw, he [the baby monkey] looks cute.

Oh my gosh, now that I see Baloo’s teeth when he talks, I can’t stop seeing them.

One thing I like about Andy Serkis whenever he does motion capture, there’s a lot of attention to his eyes and mouth.  You can especially see it in the wrinkles around his eyes and the way the lines around his mouth crinkle too.

*mouths a cuss word when Mowgli is trapped underwater watching Shere Khan drink*

*sighs in relief when Shere Khan leaves*

Yeah no, he [Mowgli] should be dead.  He is freaking surrounded by SPIKES.  It was a TIGER TRAP.

*is left silent when the elephant rescues Mowgli*

Aren’t the elephants considered gods in the jungle?  Like all the animals have to avert their eyes whenever they pass or something?

Another detail that I like is that there’s always a hint of audio from the man village whenever anyone is not focused on events strictly related to the pack or the jungle.

Also, can we talk about how soft this Bagheera is toward Mowgli?

Mowgli... what are we doing?

*gasps when Tabaqui enters the camp right in front of Mowgli*

MOWGLI YOU BETTER FREAKING RUN

Holy shit, why are you talking to him [Tabaqui]?!?

OK, that scene between those two was actually pretty good.  It’s like, the main protagonist should not be interacting with the villain’s lackey as casual as this, but it helps as part of the plot and it’s not laughed off.

I’m gonna have to look up the rest of the cast list for this because it is supremely good.

God, Mowgli’s gonna fail the Running, isn’t he?

So is Bhoot the runt of the litter?

Holy crap this whole scene is intense.

MOWGLI GET BACK DOWN-

*immediately deflates when Bagheera catches Mowgli right before the finish line*

I am heartbroken.  Guys.  I am heartbroken.

“He targeted me.  He knows I’m the weakest.”  Guys...

*finally takes a breath*  Oh my God... guys, I was about ready to cry.

*gasps when the Monkey people take Mowgli in front of Bhoot*

WHY ARE YOU [Bagheera and Baloo] FIGHTING?!?

GUYS, STOP FIGHTING!

“Mowgli’s been taken by the Monkey people!”  Holy crap, does that mean Baloo and Bagheera are gonna go get Kaa to help them out?  Like in the book?

*winces when the Monkeys ram Mowgli’s head into a rock and knock him out*

What the...

*freezes when Shere Khan roars in the background*

Guys, this movie is actually pretty scary.  Not gonna lie.

*mouths along with Shere Khan when he says “My, my, how you’ve grown.”*

*winces when Shere Khan marks Mowgli*

Wait, do the Monkey people actually serve under Shere Khan in this version?

*gasps when Bagheera gets dragged under by the monkeys*

KAA!

Holy shit, this music [when Kaa chases away Shere Khan and the monkeys]

So how does the pack view Kaa?  I know Baloo said earlier that you wanted to avoid her at all costs, but.. that’s Baloo. 

Guys, I love Bhoot.  Protect him at all costs.

“Why do always want to be around me, Bhoot?”  DON’T DO THIS TO ME

“It’s something your mother tells you to make you feel better because you came out wrong!”  Oh my God...

Rohan Chand [the actor who plays Mowgli] is so good in this.  Round of applause.  I think I prefer him over the Disney version.

Oh my gosh, that little squint Kaa does is absolutely Cate Blanchett

*gasps when Akela misses catching his prey*

OHHH MY GOD THE MORPHING OF THE FACES

*is silent when Shere Khan confronts Akela about missing his kill*

Holy shit, WE ARE DOWNRIGHT KILLING OTHER PACK MEMBERS

*internally screams when Mowgli makes eye contact with Shere Khan*

*Mowgli grabs a fiery branch*  WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?

“If I [Mowgli] ever see you [Shere Khan] here again, I will set your hide ablaze and watch you burn alive!”  HOLY SHIT

PUT OUT THE FIRE

“Leave.”  What?

Holy crap, we’re halfway through the movie?  And we’re now going to the man village?

*gasps when the tiger hunter knocks out Mowgli*

Y’know what?  I kind of think it is a shame that Warner Bros decided not to release it in theaters.  This is a fantastic movie so far but it’s understandably NOT Disney so I could see why that would turn people away.

Sudden change in music...

Bagheera!

God, I love Mowgli and Bagheera’s relationship in this movie.

“Mowgli, I did not come to rescue you.  I’ve come to tell you to stay.”  You’re breaking my heart, movie.

YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART, MOVIE.

*is milliseconds away from crying*

“Bagheera... I love you!”  *starts to cry a tiny bit*

Stock chicken sounds!

Seriously, who is this hunter dude?

Oh my god, is he [Mowgli] literally eating raw meat?

His [Mowgli’s] hair is so long...

So much orange in the man village!

So how much time has passed since Mowgli came to the man village? 

“This is my home now.”  WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME MAD

tHAT’S the red dye on his face from Kaa’s vision!

*The village throw chalk around and celebrate*�� Oh my gosh, this takes me back to the Holi celebrations that they have at my college every year.

Wait, was the hunter the guy who took the elephant’s other tusk?  Called it!

Oh my gosh, is Mowgli gonna take the tusk back and return it?  Let’s go!

*softly gasps when Mowgli walks by a monkey preserved in a jar*

*has a silent heart attack when Mowgli finds Bhoot’s stuffed head on a stand*

*has to pause the movie in order to get a moment to breath*

MOVIE, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME CRY?!?

HOLY SHIT, IS HE [Mowgli] GONNA KILL THE HUNTER DUDE?!?

*jaw drops then sighs in relief when Mowgli puts his knife away*

This music here though!  Just this soundtrack in general!  Here’s my money, take it.

“Khan!”  KHAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

“KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!!”  *shakes fist*

Of course freaking Tabaqui runs for it

*gasps when an elephant bowls Shere Khan over*

HE [Mowgli] FREAKING SICS THE ELEPHANTS ON HIM?!?

*jaw drops when Mowgli stabs Shere Khan in the side*

*gasps when the hunter accidentally shoots Mowgli in the arm*

GIVE MOWGLI THE KILL, GOD DAMN IT

*jaw drops when the elephant bowls over the hunter*

THEY KILLED AKELA!  MOVIE!

Wait, they’re gonna let Shere Khan just freaking walk away?!?  MOVIE!!!

MOVIE!!!

Slow motion shot...

Kaa...

Wait, are we not even gonna see Shere Khan’s death?  Is he even gonna die in this movie?  At least give me that.

*jumps then drops jaw when Mowgli quickly takes out Shere Khan when he’s down*

*The elephant picks up Mowgli*  Oh my gosh, I thought he was gonna throw him.

YEET!

This ending just felt rushed.  Everything else was so great and then it’s all nice and cleaned up at the end.

NETFLIX WHY?!?

I don’t even like the song they chose for the credits.

Wait, they filmed in South Africa?

[ure-a-sunflower]

Comfort Café (Part 1)

[1 of 2]

This is just me trying to write a short fic/one shot, so please be gentle with me. I normally write long-ass stories so this is a bit of a change. Anyways, hope ya’ll enjoy it. This sounded way better in my head than it did while typing it.

Warnings: Swearing (that’s all I think???)

“Y/N” = Your Name

“So you’re actually blaming this on me now? You absolute ass! All I did for you, and this is how you’re ending things with me?!” 

Jesus, if they wanted an audience for their epic break up, they might as well have brought megaphones just to let the people across the street be informed for good measure.

“Please don’t make a scene out of this; I just wanted to talk thi-” The boyfriend whispered in an embarrassed tone that almost made me feel sorry. Take note “almost”. I’m not new to this BS.

The girlfriend (I’m assumed) took none of his bullshit and cried out, “That’s it. I am so done. Good luck finding a better girl than me!” After hurrying to grab all her stuff, performing the telenovela-worthy hair flip, and an Oscar-Winning slap against his face with the loud “SMACK”, she was out the door. I noticed another guy walk away with her, and my jaw dropped in a silent and in disbelief laugh. 

The poor EX-boyfriend just stood there, humiliated and unnerved by the amount of eyes staring at him.

The café was dead ass silent. Nobody knew what to do.

It was honestly saddening just seeing the guy and the pain right through him; but I wasn’t allowing a stranger to weigh on my 7 hour shift today.

He walked up to counter, a little limp in his walk after she just smacked him, and didn’t even try to look like he cared. Nobody was behind him, so he took as much as time he needed.

His eyes bored into the menu above us and I swear I’ve never seen someone so soulless than the girl next to me during the college finals. 

Luckily, the café seemed to have mind their own business again. I think the guy was ready to order when I immediately just had to get it off my chest.

“Hey, um,” I stuttered to say, completely regretting opening my mouth as he turned to me, “I’m really sorry about what happened to you earlier.”

The guy seemed startled at my shot at small talk, which made me want to grab the blowtorch by the kitchen and slowly cremate myself slowly into ashes.

“Oh, uh, don’t be sorry. That scene was all my fault anyways,” he replied. I mean he ain’t lying. If he thought it was fine to bring his chihuahua of a girlfriend for a break up inside the cheaper version of Starbucks, he thought wrong. “Um, by the way, I’m really sorry of the disturbance we caused earlier.” 

Aww, poor baby. His voice sounded so raspy and a little broken. God damn it, I could shove my head into the cash register and just scream.

Why am I like this?!

“Anyways, I just want a regular cappuccino. That’s it.” I snapped back from my thoughts when I remembered the situation I was in. My hands fumbled to type his order into the computer. There was an awkward silence after I tell him the cost and the noise of a receipt printing.

He gave me a small smile as I handed the receipt and one of those circular things that light up when the order was ready to take. As he walked away from me, I slumped myself against the counter. I swear, the vibes this guy’s giving me.

Heavy rain began to pour outside, evoking a sigh of relief from my chest. Nobody was likely to walk in here at this weather unless they were that shamefully desperate for either a) a drink or b) wifi.

I turned to the other young barista here, who was about to prepare the cappuccino. A thought came in my head that I all of a sudden followed. “Hey, Greg, lemme take this order. You can’t do cappuccino designs right- Yeah, anyways, can you take over the register for a few minutes? Thanks.” Greg shuffles to the cash register in a bored manner and I took over what he started.

After I waited for the hot water to fill the cup, I glanced at the same spot the scene happened earlier to catch ex-boyfriend, re-claiming the seats. He sat down, and almost immediately did something like a tissue drop from his pocket.

He just stared at it from his seat and rolled his eyes tiredly. From the way he acted, there was no damn way he had the energy to even get off his ass. The tissue was then left entirely ignored.

Honestly, what a fucking mood.

I look back at the cup and carry it to the side. But as I stir, the guilt and empathy in me started to make me feel sick. 

News flash: Yes, I have a heart. 

Like, maybe I should add a small cookie as a “hey, man, hope ya recover”. I don’t know?

Christ, what the fuck. Since when did I give a crap about customers? This is the time for me to like, I don’t know, roast the guy in my head ‘cause it looks like he can’t handle anymore verbally.

Though, I couldn’t help but pity him. He really did look broken; like he didn’t want any of it to happen. 

I was dumped only a few months ago and I knew how it felt. The ass cheated and turned the thing around on me. In front of everyone at a party. Like in those cartoons where a fucking piano would drop out of nowhere even when it’s being lifted outside the window and nothing made sense but you still never questioned it.

Despite how I knew better, the heaviness of my ex’s words never left my brain for weeks. God, I was going to lose my insanity if I didn’t manage to slap myself and get my shit together. And after that, I don’t really want anyone to suffer that bad I did. 

Anyways, screw those moments. About the guy in the sofa.

Ignoring my second thoughts and for some reason giving a mental screw it while preparing, I finish the drink and walked over to the glass cases. I grab a small container of ice cream, a bottle of iced tea, and a slice of mousse (with Greg not really caring to ask what I was doing. Not that he should, really.) Those are usually stuff I’d eat when searching for comfort food... in a café-esque way, right? Surely other people would too.

My wallet’s gonna call my ass out later. I hate myself. Why am I like this.

I shake away my thoughts and finish his original order. Placing all the additional stuff and the cappuccino on a tray, I held it with (for some reason) a nervous grip while I marched to his spot.

Maybe it was my introverted-ness that goes off every now and then whenever it likes, but I kept on feeling like it was my instincts just terrified of... y’know, him turning down the stuff I have now officially bought for him.

I was basically afraid of rejection. Fuck- just great.

Standing before his table, I noticed he was on his phone and was completely in another world. One leg was crossed over the other and his attention and soul were glued to his screen. The circular beeping thing was on his lap, but since I delivered his order to him without calling his order, I had a hunch he wouldn’t really expect me.  

I smiled sheepishly (as if he would even notice) and lowered the tray, which must’ve surprised him, as he jumped into a proper sitting position. He looked down to see the food and was somewhat baffled.

“Uh, I thought I was going to-“ He gestured to the beeper and I chuckled while shaking my head, taking it from him. “It’s fine. I just thought you wouldn’t really want to walk after I saw you look so... post break-up broken and that kind of shit.”

The guy chuckled under his breath and picked up the cappuccino from the tray. “Well, thanks,” he searched for my name tag, “Y/N.”

When I started to leave, he called out, “Wait, Y/N! I didn’t order this!”

“Oh, yeah, it’s on the house.”

And with his jaw left hanging, I returned to my shift.

It was 37 minutes before my shift was about to end, and I could finally leave. Doing a little stretch behind the counter, I didn’t mean to catch sight of ex-boyfriend, still occupying that sofa, and still looking... I don’t know, depressed? It had been three hours and honestly, he didn’t show any sign of budging.

The rain only grew harder which made it seem reasonable for him not to leave yet; but I mean, the guy was carrying an umbrella and his keys were on the table so what was he waiting for? Jesus to descend and tell him to get his shit together?

Wow, Y/N, stalker much?

I immediately turned away but as I did, I felt eyes looking into back of my head. He must’ve caught me staring at his direction.

He gave me an exasperated smile, and before I knew it, I was now standing by his table. “Hey, dude, I really don’t want to like, invade your privacy or whatever, but my shift’s coming to an end and I just wanted to see if you want to talk about anything. I know it’s unusual for someone like me to check on your wellbeing, especially at the setting we’re in, but you really look like you need company. Don’t want you jumping off a bridge or anything.” 

Ex-boyfriend didn’t say anything for a few seconds and I was now horrified at the fact that he was probably about to awkwardly shoo me away.

“Well, I was hoping you could finish your shift then maybe sit here with me for a while?

[3one3]

Okay Sunday update tyme. 

There may or may not have been a mini war over making my coffee this morning. I'm not really sure. All I know is the one I got was made by the Babysitter and not very good. 

Then there was a baby. This nice couple that comes in often arrived with their maybe 16 mo son, who the Babysitter always holds and stuff. He lets him play with the touch-screen. Some people just really love babies. They see a baby and they get heart eyes and are like oo a baby how ~cute~ lemme go see it! I’m not one of them. I’m mostly afraid of and/or grossed out by babies. The Pacifier definitely got the baby gene. He was DELIGHTED by the baby. Instant, yuge smile. He went over to see him, and tickled his tummy and stuff, and I was like wow, he’s more interested in touching a baby than me, that hurts. Way to cut me deep. It was still really cute to see him be delighted by the baby tho. I def got THAT gene. The “guys being cute with kids directly affects ovaries” gene. 

Then the piña colada party started. They're not on the menu. I guess someone bought a big bottle of Cooco Real, the coconut cream stuff that makes piña coladas delicious at 900 calories per sip, but not really because it’s not as good as the thick stuff that comes in a can. They also don't have anything else blended on the menu but they do have a blender. Out comes this blender. The Pacifier and the Brother are practically giddy about this, and are verifying with the Babysitter what to put in it. He takes over anyway. Pacifier suggests using Malibu coconut rum and Babysitter is like no you use the regular clear rum rawr. They're actually both wrong. You should use a good quality white rum, yeah, but you should also use a really good dark rum. But that's if you have good quality coconut cream, which they didn't. It should have coconut milk too, and some lime, but I didn’t want to lecture the bartenders on how to bartend, ya know? Just cause I’ve been a piña colada enthusiast since age 6 doesn’t mean I’m an authority.  

Babysitter makes the first batch and tries to pour some in this little coupe glass which is all wrong for that. How do you put a full size straw in a coupe glass? You don't. Anyway. It also won't pour. It's too solid. Like sorbet. I was like "it's supposed to be a liquid, not a dessert". Pacifier chuckles at this and I'm like oooo score. Pacifier goes and gets a cherry for it and everything and they taste some and give it to me to taste, and they both said it's not sweet enough, and I said IT NEEDS MALIBU, and the Pacifier is like IT NEEDS MALIBU, and it becomes clear at this point that the Babysitter has never had Malibu and doesn't know its awesomeness. Side note: my favorite whatever drink is Malibu and pineapple juice. I didn't even know they had Malibu at this bar until last week because no one uses it for anything but the Pacifier and I happened to see him grab it from below the bar and pour some. I always wondered why there is none on the shelf with everything else. Anyway. Moving on. 

A second batch is made, with Malibu, and offered around to everyone to try. It's much better. Babysitter still can't pour it tho and Pacifier and I are watching him try and I look at him and shake my head and he starts cracking up and I melt inside. Making someone you want to be friends with laugh with you like a normal reason rather than awkwardly laugh for no apparent reason every time you talk to him is just the best. They decide it can go on the menu for the day. I told the Babysitter not to serve it in that stupid glass but he insisted. He said hey could use the cocktail straws. I was like wtf how can you sip an already too thick piña colada through a fucking cocktail straw??? And he just laughed. Another guy decided the solution was to just cut the regular straws in half 🤷🏼‍♀️

I still had the whole first example to drink myself, plus some of the new and improved one. I really don't drink anymore, so that was enough to count as liquid courage I guess. It brightened by whole day. I was in a good mood. I decided it was to be a day of progress on the communication front. But then naturally the place got crazy busy and the Pacifier was running around at Mach V doing his job. I seriously can’t bring myself to bother him when he’s busy.

I waited until things calmed down considerably and did my standard I'm-about-to-be-annoying-but-at-least-I'm-sweet-about-it way of saying his name (this has gotten males of all age and association to do things for me forever) as he was walking behind me, and he leaned in beside me and said "yes? ma'am" and I wanted to end myself right then and there. You can't ask a girl to hang out one weekend and then call her ma'am the next. It's bloody criminal. I decided it wasn't serious tho. He called the Babysitter sir earlier. I call my officemate ma'am all the time, non-seriously, like when she brings my trash can in from the hallway and I say thank you, ma’am. But anyway it ruined the whole plan it took me an hour to decide on. I was going to summon him and then be like "you know what I want *wink wink*" bc obvi I wanted a coffee and he would know that. Ma'am threw me off tho. And then he didn't give me a chance to ask a question anyway. He asked me if I wanted another one and I was like yesssss pleaaaaase. It was delicious and I was thankful. I wanted to tell him that he’s my favorite person on the planet on saturdays and sundays and that when I work those mornings the only reason I get out of bed is that I know I get to have that cappuccino after. He’s too quick. Or I’m too slow. Or something.

Now here's where shit gets cray. One of my clients and I have been looking at this horse for a while. We checked him out years ago when he had a different owner, and liked him but not for the price. Now his current owners put him up for private auction over the weekend and we were like, well if we can get him for X then it’s a no brainer and if we can get him for Y it would probably be worth it, but no more, and I did the homework on the other people I knew might be interested  and so I thought it was possible that we could get him for that. But we weren't fully sold on him. I usually feel strongly one way or another on whether to get a horse, particularly at a certain price point. I was like, we could do this, and it would be great, or we could not do it, and I probably won't  kick myself over it tomorrow. 

With 90 mins left on the sale clock, and an "it's up to you" order from the client, which I had been waiting for for most of the day, I decide that the best way to decide is to let the Pacifier choose 😂 I had a good reason though! The horse's name is one letter off being Cappuccino! It's a sign! I'll show him the video of the horse on my phone and ask him what I should do. It’s genius. I summon the Pacifier, who had to be wondering just how much cappuccino I can drink in one day, since that's all I ever summon him for. I immediately panic that the friend I was texting literally *about him* and practically nothing else and who hadn't answered me in over an hour would decide that was the right time to reply, and that she'd say something totally incriminating exactly as he was looking at my phone. It was too late to tell her to shh tho bc he was already incoming, and I couldn't do airplane mode bc I needed wifi to show him the Video. It went like this. 

"Are you superstitious?" (I'm thinking, what if he doesn't know what that means?)

~message from friend about how the babysitter is definitely cockblocking drops down from top of screen along with two others BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE and I desperately will her to stfu~

"No. " 

"Well I'm very superstitious and I need your help. There's this horse. See the video of  the nice horse?" I held the phone so he could barely see it, just in case. "I have an hour and a half to decide if I should get it for a client and I don't know what to do. I'm fine either way. I’m totally 50/50 on it. I could flip a coin. But the horse's name is Cappuccino (it would have been too hard to explain the one letter difference and I talk really fast when I'm nervous and it gets hard for people to understand and meh whatever) and you're my cappuccino guy so I need you to tell me what to do."

"Then you should go for it!" He says, laughing. It was sort of like a comfortable laugh too, not the awkward one. 

"You think so?"

"Yeah! Go for it!" At this point I'm just loving the carefree gung ho attitude here. 

I told him okay I'm gonna do it, and I warned him that I'm blaming him if the horse ends up being terrible. He was just smiley and laughing and stuff. 

And that's how i bought a $400,000 horse on the cappuccino guy's say so. Did I mention I forgot to mention to him how much the horse costs? 🙊 He might be one of those people who thinks even competition horses are peanuts. He probably has no idea. He might not have even understood what I was saying. He could have thought I was talking about betting on the horse or something. I have no idea. He was just all for it. 

I get really high when I do big deals. Like so pumped. I called the client and said to do it. And I was like shaking and grinning and stupid. Hopefully it was the horse and not just the interaction 🤦🏼‍♀️

I left a little while after that. On the way out when he was saying bye to me I reminded him that he's in big trouble if the horse is crap, and he was all smiles. 

I find out for sure tomorrow morning if our bid was definitely accepted, but I saw no others come in after so it prob was. Lawd help me if this doesn't work out well 🙈🙈🙈

Then I went running and got sunburn bc it was earlier than I wanted to go but I was too hyped to sit still, then I saw one of the guys from the restaurant on the way to where I run, and he was on a bike share bike outside mcdonalds in work clothes but not the ones he was in earlier and I was like wtf and also please don't notice me in my terrible running outfit. 

Then I got some really upsetting texts from bf about all this 😕

Then I had some food and prepped some stuff for my lunches and then I worked out bc the high hadn't gone away yet and ya gotta use it while it's there. Haven't managed to figure out how to use it to fix the bf thing tho. 

But, consider yourself updated. 

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x12 MATTRESS

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x12 MATTRESS Yearbook pictures. Ruh roh. I remember this ep. It ended sad for me. :(

Ken thinks he’s gonna drop 20 pounds in less than a week. Oh boy.

Remember that time Ken totes planned his and Emma’s wedding the same time as Sectionals so she couldn’t go, then pretended he didn’t, then Emma stood up for him when Will caught on? That was fun…douche Ken.

“Got myself a bit of an eyelift. And while they were in there I told em’ go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t usin’ em’.”

Is Sue right – do yams really draw the water out of the skin? Hmm…yam diet, eh?

“We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face” Not yet, Kurt. But apparently you ALL will. Still double-checking that. Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Kurt, Mr. Schue.

“What’s a patriotic wedgie?” “It’s when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies.” “Strangely it did make me feel more American.”

It is TERRIFYING, the fates of these kids in previous glee yearbook photos whose pictures were defaced. OMG.

“He barks at my mom.”

Alright. I gotta say it. It is totally not right or legal I’m sure for Figgins to ask for Glee to pay for their own photo. He’s saying that’s what a full page ad costs…but the school doesn’t pay a thousand dollars for each club’s picture. Shenanigans.

Okay. So I’m watching this post-Props/Nationals. And I’m pissed. Rachel just came storming into Figgins’ office to petition for a Glee yearbook photo. She says “As you may know, this is my first year in Glee Club” – THE FUCK?!?! So she wasn’t in Glee her freshman year?!?! So she started the same time as Tina, Artie, Kurt, and Mercedes?!?! So we DIDN’T miss a year of her ‘earning it’ more than anyone else around her? THE FUCK, Glee?! THE FUCK, I ASK YOU!

Hey, remember that time that Rachel joined every club possible? Hey, remember how 2 seasons later she’ll say she doesn’t have extracurriculars for her NYADA audition application? Hey, remember how in Props she says she’s involved in 6 clubs? WTF? #oops

Quinn wants her kids to look back on her yearbook pics and be proud. “Not the bastard one I’m carrying now…” Ha!

Quinn is gonna get in that yearbook photo for the Cheerios and back on that squad whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not. Quinn is braver than I’ll ever be.

Terri is so supportive. She just told Will to wear the tie for the Glee Club photo that’ll go best with the cool kids defacing of it.

“Oh great. Why don’t you take the food out of the refrigerator and give that to the kids?” hahaha. Overdramatic and exaggerating, but still funny.

Will is going behind Terri’s back to pay for the photo. Yup. That’s a strooooong marriage they got there…

Ok. Rachel just said if she is in one more club she would officially be the most involved student in the school. Yet she HAS to run for Senior Class President because she has nothing for her NYADA application and she is convinced she won’t get Maria…and even after she GETS Maria, she still doesn’t drop even though her ‘friend’ Kurt really needs it and really wants to be prez to make a difference while in the position. She is awful. They turned her into an AWFUL human being. That we’re no longer supposed to laugh at, but admire. And honestly so far in the series, she’s not so bad. So…lemme see if I can pinpoint in my rewatching when the decline of her character started…

The look Kurt has when he just gets up and walks away from Rachel’s GayLesbAl suggestion. Hi. Lar.I. Ous.

And Mercedes is chillin’ with Matt and Mike. I’m tellin’ ya, I thought she was like, a popular girl!

“I nominate Rachel.” “Second.” Kurtcedes love.

…two things: 1. I think Will uses Emma’s counseling services more than any student. Or all of them combined. 2. He does know she’s not a psychologist, right?

haha. Emma and Will are acknowledging how annoying Rachel is. It’s cruel, but..yes. Teachers do that.

As captain of the Glee Club, did Rachel (or Finn) ever have to do more than have the responsibility of this first yearbook photo? I know at times Finn tries to take on a leadership role but…it’s such a useless position.

:) Aw.Rachel went to Mercedes first to be co-captain. I like that. Maybe it’s cause I’m thinking of TroubleTones and how well and fairly she led them.

“Because I don’t wanna be in a picture with you, it’ll get defaced.” “No it won’t.” “Yes it will, I’ll be the one doing it.”

Rachel is saying that the football players and cheerleaders are only in Glee because of Finn. Hmmm….well, Quinn kinda but more cause of Rachel trying to steal him. We don’t know exactly why the football players joined but it was after they won that game and danced with Kurt and Mr. Schue…and wasn’t it Finn that didn’t choose Glee over football when all the rest of them did? Did I imagine that? No? Just checking.

Haha. Smile. I like this song. I had a friend who hated Glee because everyone loved it. He’s one of those “If everyone loves it it can’t possibly be because it’s good, it’s cause it’s a stupid fad” people – you know the type. He was into this girl and I knew she liked the show so I liked to tease him about how he probably watched it with her. I think he said this song was the first time he saw any of the show and he was confused. I remember I was like “oh, you saw like, the first time they did a song that made no sense in the moment at all. Like, it wasn’t used to further the story, it was out of context except the title of it and it wasn’t supposed to be a performance either. They never do that though. Watch it again.”. Wow. Thinking back on that now…this was the first moment that happened. And it ended up happening SO many more times.  Just…wow. Historic moment right there.

And still, this song is such an odd choice for learning to pose for a yearbook photo. It could’ve been cut completely. Why wasn’t it? It didn’t even bother to further the Finchel storyline either. It was cute and fun and I like the song and I’m glad they did it so I have it on my ipod for workouts, lol, but…unnecessary.

It annoys the crap outta me when they act like they’re sightreading sheet music on this show. No. You are not. And you do an awful job pretending like you are. Just stop.

Ooh, Brad’s getting his jam on, lol.

hahaha. Karofsky just asked how to spell loser. Really? Also, is he officially a football guy now instead of a hockey guy? Ok. Sure. Why not.

I always wonder how people act to a pre-recorded voice-over of inner monologue when there’s more than just “I’m sad” happening with their sub-text. How do they sync that up to the acting journey so well like in this moment that Rachel’s giving her self a pep talk in the mirror? It’s like magic to me, lol.

“I can cry on demand. It’s one of my many talents.”

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I’ll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” It’s funny cause I saw Lea Michele topless in Spring Awakening prior to this.

Finn bitches about Glee bringing down his reputation, take three.

“Do you think I have a potato head?”

haha, I do love love love how Rachel shames Finn during this scene. Every time she says his name it’s like a bitch slap for bailing on the yearbook photo.

they’re reeeeeeal excited about selling mattresses. Wanky.

Oh, this brilliant brilliant script for the mattress commercial:                *sigh* “Ah me”                “What’s wrong?”                “We just lost our jobs. At the factory. And we can’t get a good night’s                   sleep” (emphasis on ‘night’s’)

“We should perform.” “Perform the lines…as I wrote them.” I wonder if that was a shoutout/threat to this cast from RIB. Or how many times they’ve heard that if they ever bring up continuity etc. Just me?

Oh Jump. Ok. Let’s talk about this. Super fun number. Great vocals. Also the first time I realized AmberRiley is the shit. Except it took a couple people to make me realize it wasn’t just cause I love listening to her, it’s cause she’s a one of a kind, super rare talent. My one friend pointed out the actual notes she’s belting like it’s a fuckin’ hiccup. ‘Ain’t no thang. I’m Amber fuckin’ Riley. What? Can’t everybody belt that?’ That’s what I imagine she thinks when she pulls off shit like this. Also, one of my students ALWAYS requested this for warm-ups because “she’s so fucking amazing”. And despite the profanity, I was so proud of him for realizing that, even though he was a 16 year old popular-ish boy and she wasn’t the cheerleader or super popular hot chick on the show. And watching my students reacting to her in this and praising her. All of that combined made me go “how did I miss this? Normal people can’t sing that way.”

Will just found the pregnancy pad. Oh shit. Shit’s about to get real. Terri did tell a very convincing lie, without batting an eyelash about how it was just so she could try on clothes for the coming months. That says a lot.

This scene is good. To the point it makes me uncomfortable.

“This marriage works because you don’t feel good about yourself!”

“Quinn Fabray”. Ugh. I can’t even imagine being Will in that moment. How deceived and betrayed he must feel. Man. I’m uncomfortable watching this.

It drives me nuts when people bring up promises made under false pretenses. Terri brings up now how Will promised to remember how happy they were and that they loved each other…at the fake ultrasound. Yeah. Your lie negates the promise, idiot. Rachel does something similar in regards to “you said you’d never break up with me” to Finn in season 2 after she cheats with Puck. People are fools.

Seriously though, how does Will not even question those mattresses and just bust one out. And couldn’t he have slept on it without taking it out of the plastic? High maintenance much? ;) Honestly though, if I found a stack of MATTRESSES delivered to my drama club kids saying “thanks for all your hard work”..I’d raise a fuckin’ eyebrow and question what they’d done to earn that. It’s sort of suggestive, is it not? Or do I just have a dirty mind?

haha. Something I’ve always loved about this moment when Sue overhears the mattress commercial at the tv studio is that moment where she thinks she just hears Rachel Berry near. Her reaction, and me always thinking “what would I do if I thought I heard Rachel Berry outside of the one place I’m forced to have to” always makes me laugh.

“oooohhhh, I got nuttin’ to say to you, preggo.”

They’re disqualified from Sectionals!!?? Oh no! Lol. This was before I knew what RIB was capable of. When I thought they’d go the honorable, legit route with this show. I was wracking my brain to figure out how they’d get out of this one. Oh how wrong I was.

“And what if I were to innocently murder you, William?”

“I’m sorry, but Glee club is over.” “It’s. OVER!” Dun dun dun!

“It’s like looking at a porno star in a nun’s habit.” re: pregnant Quinn in her Cheerios uniform. Amazing. 

Season tickets to Cedar Point!! Yay for accuracy, Glee!

Listen. Quinn has a lot of rage. She’s talking to Sue like she’d talk to Rachel or some other underclassmen ‘loser’.

Quinn just quit Cheerios sorta to be in Glee club instead. We’ll find out, but my memory is that she’ll start wishing she was back on that squad and complaining about it real soon. No?

Okay. HOW is Will disqualified for being paid for what he does…when he gets PAID to RUN the Glee Club? Makes noooo sense. He should be fine.

Charlie Chaplin Smile. Such a sad song. This montage is so good though. It’s one of those times Glee kinda moved me. I got choked up. And my heart dropped to see people defacing this photo when they’d all taken a step forward and were so proud. This is hard to watch right now with Glee Graduation mere days ahead. :(

Also, I miiiight still listen to this song when I’m having a hard day to try to turn it around. Good song.

Aw, Karofsky figured out how to spell loser. Good for him.

Okay, so I’m pausing this to take a look at the comic brilliance of these cool kids defacing the picture. They gave Santana a pitchfork. No shit, Sherlock. They’ll all call her Satan in Glee soon enough. They gave Kirt a skirt and boobs. Cause he’s gay. Brilliant. :/ They gave Finn buck teeth. Matt got a fro (RACIST!). Puck got devil horns. Mercedes got…a cigar? No, giant buck teeth and…a lollipop? They drew a happy face on Tina (? The fuck?). Nothing to Mike Chang or Britany. Artie got devil horns and a mustache. Rachel got a pitchfork. Quinn got..a giant Rabbi beard? They crossed out Rachel’s face and wrote ‘lame’ with an arrow pointing to her. This is the most UNcreative defacing ever. I’m disappointed. Be better bullies! Or funnier ones at least! SOLOS: Rachel (3), Finn (3), Mercedes (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 3rd time