#Leila is so special

[happysunnyflower]

What a breath of fresh air!

It seems that Alana has just befriended a nature enthusiast. Nature enthusiasts are passionate about the world they live in. What can make them super fun to dait (especially in outdoors)

It seems that Alana likes nature enthusiasts and has made a nice friendship with Leila.

[ronanlynchbf]

tagged by @lesbianjudasiscariot to post 3 albums i've been listening to recently THANK YOUUUU MWAHH

Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds) by Yves Tumor / Ibn El Leil by Mashrou' Leila / Unreal Unearth by Hozier

tagging @henessy @adamnsey @bonivers @parrishh & @mnwlk if u want to — as always, no pressure <3!!!!!

[lesbanian]

I'll go a few months without listening to Mashrou Leila, and then for whatever reason I'll listen to one of their songs, and I'll just feel so many emotions all at once. I don't even know what is happening to my body right now.

[reminiscingtonight]

There's People Watching

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: Timeline? I don’t know her. Started writing this early 2023. Based on the Jade LeMac song

[WOSO Masterlist]

Everyone always joked about it. About how great a couple you and Alexia would be. 

Every time Mapi would poke fun at the two of you Alexia would just roll her eyes, a dangerous smirk playing at the edge of her lips. 

Every time Leila would ask if there was something hidden in the charged looks you would exchange with each other you’d just push at her shoulders, expertly avoiding your best friend’s question with ease.

You and Alexia were the best of friends, partners in crime. Where she was the Queen, you were her Knight, more content to stand off to the side but still a steady force when she needed you. 

You hadn’t always been in love with her. It crept up slowly on you, the admiration for your friend turning something romantic in nature as the years went on. Your mouth started getting dry whenever she came in the room, her smile set off butterflies deep in your stomach, Alexia became all your senses could focus on. 

You were content leaving it as it was. Alexia has been in your life since you could remember, and you weren’t willing to risk it all on a little crush.

And then one drink filled night Alexia kissed you. 

Your fate was sealed right then and there. 

It made sense when Alexia asked for discretion. Being public figures, no matter how big or small, always came with some degree of scrutiny. Anything that could be kept private could be considered a blessing in disguise, and your budding relationship? Well that was definitely something Alexia wanted to keep to yourselves.

It’s sweet, the way she cares for you behind closed doors.

It’s beautiful, the way she loves you when no one’s watching.

And it’s fun, sneaking around. Stealing kisses when no one’s watching. Hiding in the shadows together.

Your touches were only meant for each other. Your love was only for the two of you to share.

It’s sweet, it’s beautiful, it’s fun.

It’s all those things until it isn’t. 

Somewhere along the line, as Barcelona becomes a club whispered about in awe, as Alexia is pushed more into the spotlight, she starts pulling away from you. In the quiet of your home she’s still every bit the loving girlfriend you’ve come to know. But the second you walk out the door, the second all eyes are on you, you’re no longer Alexia and (Y/N). It’s no longer the two of you shouldering the weight of the world together. It becomes just Alexia. And just you. Two lovers pretending to be less than what they are.

But you love her. So you don’t say anything. You don’t try to convince her to love without abandonment.

Her image is important to her and Alexia is important to you too, so you stay quiet, content to love her in secret.

But there’s only so much one can take. 

It’s on the eve of your second anniversary that the cracks finally start to show. 

The two of you are at a gala, Alexia having to fulfill some of her media duties as captain and you not wanting to be without your girlfriend on such a special day. It’s not weird for your Barca teammates to be at such events so no one bats an eye when you show up together. Alexia usually bars you from going along with her to events, lest others figure out your relationship status, but she’s also slightly clingier given the day. 

You’re careful to keep your distance after arriving. Never brushing hands, never exchanging prolonged eye contact. It hurts you to have to act like Alexia doesn’t mean a thing to you, but it is how it is. 

You’ve been doing a good job. Smiling at the sponsors, exchanging small talk with everyone and no one. And then it happens. Alexia reaches across you to grab a drink from the waiter. On instinct your hand drops to her back, steadying the midfielder so she doesn’t fall over. 

Alexia instantly stiffens. 

You pretend it doesn’t hurt when she pulls away.

She’s quick to make her departure, claiming a need to talk to another one of the sponsors, but you both know the truth. 

You’re internally cursing at yourself, but what’s done is done. You know the rules. You know what you can and can’t do, what she’ll tolerate in public. 

It hurts, but it’s just the way things have always been and always will be. 

It’s no surprise she stays on the other side of the room for the rest of the evening. 

When Alexia’s pressing you against the mattress later that night, later when you’re back in the solitude of your apartment, you try to forget the pain through the pleasure. It’s easy to pretend you’re not just a secret when she whispers sweet nothings into your ear, one leg pressing firmly between yours. 

When you fall asleep after she’s had her appetite sated, warm bodies pressed against one another, you can’t help but start to feel the cold ache of something unpleasant seeping in. 

---

The break up was inevitable. 

No matter how much you love her, you couldn’t deny how much it hurt when Alexia wouldn’t love you the way you deserved. 

“You treat me like a stranger. You can’t even look me in the eye when we’re out with friends.”

Not having the social support that came with most relationships really helped drive this to the ground. Secret meant secret, no friends, no families involved. 

It’s lonely pretending you’re not in love. 

Even lonelier pretending you’re not in love alone. 

“I feel like you’re ashamed of me.”

It’s sharp. It’s loud. 

It’s deafening how much freedom sounds.

“I can’t do this.”

Alexia doesn’t give you another explanation.

You don’t ask for one.

When the door closes behind her, it feels like nothing makes sense anymore.

---

It’s been coming for a while now. 

The nagging feeling that you need to do what’s best for your career. With your playing time dwindling as the season progresses as well as the end of your contract looming near, you know you have to start branching out your options. 

You pretend your break up with Alexia doesn’t play a part in your focus on the pool outside of Spain.

There’s one offer that stands out among the rest. 

Manchester City, the home of the blues. Ona’s already in the same city, albeit playing for a rival club, but her presence is one of the selling points that eventually convinces you to go. You’ve always had a soft spot for the defender, always considering her a younger sister even long after she left Barcelona. Although you’re rivals now, you’re more than happy to be reunited, one of the first bright spots in a couple weeks marred with nothing but sadness and hurt.

When news of your transfer breaks, Alexia’s one of the first to call.

You stare at your phone until it rings out to voicemail. Her contact photo, a beautiful picture of her mid-laugh that you had captured in what seems like another lifetime ago, sends sharp pains through your heart. You yearn for those secret weekend getaways she used to take you on, back before everything blew up in your face, back when this thing between the two of you was sparkling, new and exciting.

Sitting in your bare apartment, boxes piled up by the front door, you can’t help but feel cheated by the startling end to what could’ve been a love story for the ages.

---

Despite being the smaller person, Ona nearly barrels you over when you come out of your gate. 

Laughing, you hug her back with the same vigor, quietly soaking in the familiar presence of a longtime friend. 

She’s talking a mile a minute, eager to catch you up about her life in Manchester as well as try to get updates of the girls back home. It’s only a miracle that you get Ona to lead you out of the airport before she starts digging more into why you decided to leave all you know behind for the English league.

Everything’s so sparkly and new, it’s not hard to get lost in all the glitz and glam of moving to another country. You’re so caught up in all that’s involved with both moving clubs and country that you don’t remember to turn your phone back on until later that night when you’re finally ready to settle down for the night. 

What you see there makes all of the elation you’ve experienced today dissipate. 

Alexia Putellas: [I’m sorry]

You stare at the two words until they blur, until your screen times out and you’re left staring at a person you don’t recognize in the reflection of the dark screen.

---

Manchester is good to you. 

You win some, you lose some, but damn does it feel good to find joy in your favorite game again.

With the way you’re playing it’s not a surprise when you get the call up for the Euros. 

You’re nervous, of course you are, but you’d be lying if you said it was just nerves from representing your country.

The night before you’re set to meet up with the rest of the team you get a call.

On the screen is a name you haven’t seen in a while but one you haven’t stopped thinking about since you left Barcelona.

You hesitate for a moment, not sure if you should answer it. But Alexia’s always been your kryptonite. And a season spent apart would never be enough for that to change.

She sounds surprised when you pick up. There’s a sharp intake of breath, before she whispers your name out in awe.

“I want this.” Her voice is quiet, barely coming through the speaker.

You swallow. Suddenly the phone feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. “Ale.”

It’s one word, but both of you can hear the emotions there. The hurt. The silent plea for her not to do this to you again. 

“I miss you.” She sounds frustrated, on the verge of tears. 

If you close your eyes you can imagine the way she’s pacing back and forth in what used to be your shared living room. Alexia always had a knack for mindless pacing when she was frustrated, trying to work things out. 

“Alexia, don’t.”

“I love you and I want to make this work.”

You tilt your head back, letting it hit your bedrest as you squeeze your eyes shut, ignoring the painful clench of your heart at her admission. The pinch of your nails digging into your palm is the only thing keeping you grounded as your voice comes out strangled, pained. “Why are you doing this?”

“(Y/N)--”

“Cállate, Alexia,” you hiss. You rub harshly at your face, trying to erase the traces of your tears despite your lack of witnesses. “Why? Why now? You had your chance to make me stay.”

Instead of answering your question Alexia returns with one of her own. “Have you moved on?”

Have you moved on? Well that was the question, wasn’t it. 

You’re not sure if you should tell Alexia it’s hard to move on from someone you never stopped loving. Alexia never seemed to care about what you thought about your relationship. Why would she care now?

“Because I haven’t moved on.” It shouldn’t make you feel hopeful, the words she says when you don’t respond. Hope is a cruel thing but Alexia doesn’t seem to care about the turmoil in your head she sets off with just those five words. “Letting you go, that was the worst mistake of my life. I never should have thrown us away. I should’ve fought harder for us.”

It’s everything you wanted to hear, but nearly a year later you’re not sure if it’s too late.

“Tell me you haven’t moved on.” There’s a slight plea in her voice as Alexia all but starts begging. “I don’t know what I would do if you have.”

The seconds tick by and still you say nothing. You’re crying earnestly now, comforted only by the fact that you can hear Alexia trying to muffle her cries on the other line. 

Everything hurts. Your head, your heart, your body. You’re just so sad and just so lonely and there’s only ever been one person who could take away your pain.

“I can’t walk away from you,” you whisper, the truth feeling like sandpaper in your throat. It stings and burns, but you could never lie to Alexia. Not even now. “You’re… it’s like you’re stuck in my veins and I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to.”

It’s no surprise your torturous brain works slower than your mouth. By the time you’ve begun processing what this all means you’re already telling Alexia exactly what she wants to hear.

And when you finally fall into a tumultuous night of sleep you’re left wondering if love should really hurt this much.

---

“You’ve been driving me crazy.”

Sneaking away at the first possible moment isn’t at the top of your proudest moments, but you don’t find yourself minding much with Alexia glued as close to your body as humanly possible.

You’re a bit ashamed to say the two of you don’t do too much talking before picking up right where you left off. Caught up between preparing for the tournament and fighting for a starting position didn’t leave you with much time to figure out where things stood between you and Alexia.

And you definitely weren’t going to be one to complain as long as it filled the void left behind with your departure from Spain.

“Thank god for hot summer air, right?” You shamelessly grope at Alexia’s ass, grinning when she lets out another desperate noise.

“You’re a vision,” she groans, hands slipping under your shirt to palm at your abs.

“And you’re a tease,” you shoot back, laugh turning into a moan when Alexia turns her lips towards your neck. She peppers feather-light kisses all the way up until you reconnect your mouths again. 

So caught up in each other, neither of you hear the door open behind you. 

It isn’t until there’s a gagging noise echoing in the tiny room that you stiffen in place. Alexia jerks back, almost knocking over the shelf behind her as she tries to put as much space between the two of you as possible. 

“There is such a thing as too much tongue, you know?” There’s a sparkle of amusement in Leila’s eyes as she takes in both of your disheveled states.

“Leila--” Alexia starts, but the defender doesn’t let her finish.

“The two of you are so lucky Mapi was too lazy to come grab the wrap herself. I volunteered to stop her whining but the amount of ammunition she would’ve gotten…” The Catalonian pauses, eyes switching from Alexia to you, finally taking in the look on your face. 

From the moment Alexia leapt back, your face has been stony and unreadable. It’s out of character for you, someone who never hesitates to show your heart on your sleeve. 

It’s such things about yourself like that you’ve had to sacrifice to love Alexia. 

You don’t know if you have it in yourself to do it again. 

Eyes lingering on your stiffened frame, it’s easy for Leila to know she walked in on something more important than a stolen hookup. She blinks slowly. “I didn’t see anything.” Her voice is suddenly serious, no trace of her previous laughter in them. 

Leila gives you a nod of acknowledgement as she reaches past you to grab one of the wraps on the shelf behind you. Her hand gives you a small squeeze before she’s turning away, the door closing quietly behind her. 

It’s quiet for a moment. 

You find yourself wishing the silence would last forever. The knowledge of the only way this will end weighs heavy on your heart.

Alexia doesn’t seem to get your unspoken desire.

The midfielder runs a hand through her hair, letting out a nervous breath of air. “Well that was a close one.”

The smile on her face falls when she spots the way you haven’t so much as moved the whole time Leila was here. 

“(Y/N).”

You step away before Alexia’s outstretched hand can touch you. Her hand falters mid-air, a stricken expression on her face. 

She can tell by the look in your eye the decision you’ve come to.

“(Y/N),” she repeats, now with a slight plea in her voice.

Shaking your head you let out a quiet sigh. “I’m not doing this with you again.”

You only give yourself enough time to pause in front of the door, eyes still looking everywhere but at Alexia. All it would take is one look for you to break. And you can’t break. Not again.

“I deserve better than to be someone’s secret.” 

You slip out, door closing in Alexia’s face before she has a chance to say anything in return. 

---

You’re quiet all throughout dinner. 

After the afternoon you’ve had, you have no appetite, simply pushing the food around your plate, taking a small bite here and there. It’s enough to fool the rest of your teammates, but Leila watches on with concern, your best friend knowing you better than most.

Having decided you’ve feigned eating long enough, you’re just about to get up from the table when a familiar blonde takes the spot right next to you.

You have to fight your sigh, simply turning away from the Catalonian. 

She quietly murmurs your name but you ignore her. Patri’s looking at the two of you with intrigue, confused why you’re not giving Alexia the attention she so obviously wants. By the fifth time you pretend your plate is more exciting than Alexia’s attempts to get you to look at her, most of the table has picked up on the frosty vibes emanating from you. 

Unable to get your attention, Alexia does the unexpected. 

She drops her hand on top of where yours is resting next to your water. Moving softly, she intertwines your fingers together, holding on tight. 

You look down at your hands, mouth parted in surprise.

You try to school your expression, but you can tell by Leila’s raised eyebrow that you’ve failed. 

“There’s people watching.” You keep your eyes fixed at the table, knowing that if you stare into Alexia’s brown eyes you would break down. 

You try to pull your hand away but Alexia’s hand tightens around yours. 

“I know,” she murmurs, discreetly scooting her chair closer to yours. 

Shutting your eyes, you let out a shaky breath. Her hand feels warm in yours, familiar. 

You’re still frozen when she leans towards you, face inching closer and closer to yours. 

“Let them watch.” She darts in to  press a kiss against your cheek, dangerously close to your mouth. 

Alexia lingers and you hold your breath, afraid to make any movements. 

“Let them see how lucky I am to have you.”

When you turn to face her it’s hard to miss the love and adoration shining in her eyes. Alexia gives you a shy smile, hand lightly squeezing yours. 

“I love you.”

You don’t miss the raised eyebrows and looks from around the table, but Alexia doesn’t spare them any time. Her eyes are trained on you, warmth and sincerity shining through her gaze.

.

You’re not ready to forgive her. But for right now, this is enough.

Letting Alexia love you is enough.

[wileys-russo]

j.hermoso II jesus (18+)

j.hermoso II jesus (18+) this is basically just smut with a hint of a plot since i am disgustingly down bad for ms hermoso at the moment, minors DNI.

from the moment you met jenni, you knew she was something special.

you'd been introduced at a going away dinner for one of your school friends who jenni apparently now played football with. it was safe to say sports had never been your thing, and despite the fact you grew up in a football mad household you couldn't have cared less.

but that all changed when you met jenni, much to the ongoing teasing from a few of your friends who also played whose games you'd been invited to and no showed at for years.

which is how you found yourself screaming your lungs out in a barcelona jersey, a constant source of amusement for your friends as you tried desperately to follow along with the rules and failed miserably despite your girlfriends dedication to teaching you.

"thats not a free kick, thats offside!" you yelled as your girlfriend was booked, your best friend pulling you to sit down. "yeah it was. jenni was offside and a foul means a free kick, we've been over this!" carmen laughed shaking her head as your face warmed and you buried it in your hands.

"you'll get it one day. just probably after your girlfriends retired and you don't have to go and watch anymore." the girl rubbed your back reassuringly as you shot her a playful glare and shoved her lightly.

"duty calls!" carmen teased as the game had finished and jenni waved her hands around to capture your attention, gesturing for you to meet her down at the barrier. "wait you're not coming?" you frowned as your friend made no move to follow you.

"surprised you even noticed, the moment you're within five feet of her you get those little lovesick tunnel vision puppy dog eyes." carmen grinned as you scoffed. "i do not!" you crossed your arms over your chest with a frown.

"oh but you do. but its fine go see your girl amiga, i'll call you later!" and with that you both exchanged hugs, her heading off one direction as you went the other. "hola princesa." jenni beamed the moment she spotted you, her grabby hands making you laugh as she helped you over the barrier.

"hola, goal scorer." you grinned, relaxing the moment her toned tattooed arms wrapped tightly around you. "oh those? they were nothing!" jenni waved off making you roll your eyes in amusement.

"so modest mi amor." you patted her shoulder, squealing as she spun you around and pecked your lips repeatedly. "jen people will take photos." you cautioned softly, squeezing her bicep in warning as she pulled away.

"a quién le importa? let them, let everyone know you are mine." the taller girl smiled charmingly, pearly whites and bright eyes having your knees buckle a little. "such a gentlewoman." you chuckled, leaning up to peck her lips a few times making her grin widen.

"you should agree with her that the goals were nothing chica, if her head gets much bigger she will not fit through the change room door!" leila teased clearly having overheard your previous conversation, shoving your girlfriends forehead as she passed, sprinting away with a laugh as jenni lunged for her.

"corre rápido idiota!" jenni yelled after her with a roll of her eyes, flipping her off as you pushed down her hand and reminded her again of the multitude of phone cameras currently present.

"qué estás haciendo?" the brunette frowned as you closed one eye and pressed your fingers against her forehead.

"just measuring mi vida, have to make sure you still fit through my door."

as much as you were nothing but content in your relationship with jenni you'd only been seeing one another for a few months and it was far too soon to have moved in, so you spent a few nights a week together at either her place or yours.

another thing you knew to be certain about the spanish striker was that nothing got her going like the thrill of a big win when she'd scored the goals, so it wasn't a surprise that the moment you crossed the threshold of your apartment her hands were wandering.

"do you not want dinner? if you don't keep these to yourself hermoso you won't be getting it!" you warned with a smile, smacking away her hands where they sat on your hips and toyed with the hem of your shirt as you stood trying to chop vegetables.

"no i'm hungry for something else." she purred suggestively, plucking the knife from your hand and spinning you so your back was pressed lightly against the counter, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"so needy jennifer." you teased, leaning up to kiss her but stopping right as your lips ghosted hers and twisted up into a grin, a perfectly manicured eyebrow raised in your direction.

"me? oh no mi amor, that is all you. or it will be in about...ten minutes." she pretended to check a watch as you rolled your eyes, hand coming up to cup the back of her neck and pulling her down closer to you.

"you need that long? you're losing your edge baby." you tutted teasingly, watching as something shifted in her gaze, the playful twinkle that always burned brightly dimming a little replaced with something slightly more lustful, even predatory.

"that sounds like a challenge guapa."

you squealed as suddenly your legs were wrapped around her waist and you were carried off into the bedroom by the footballer, wasting no time kissing at her neck now you had the opportunity.

"hey no you're the winner here mi amor, let me take care of you for once." you tried to climb on top of her as your back hit the mattress of your bed, pushed back down as your girlfriend hovered over you with a shake of her head.

"no i know what i want my reward to be princesa, so let me have it." pearly white teeth bore down on you in a wolfish grin as your lips tugged into a smile.

"and you know you want me." and there it was, the relentlessly cocky confident smirk that admittedly had you swooning not that you tried to let her know that, leila wasn't wrong about her head growing as her ego swelled.

"do i need to measure your head again?" you snickered, teasingly holding a hand up as she swatted it away and tutted. "well should we see if it still fits between your legs mi niña?" the striked purred, effectively silencing you as your cheeks flushed red.

"so cute when you blush princesa, nothing else to say mm?" her grin grew, your eyes fluttering shut and a hand coming to tangle in her head as her lips peppered your neck with butterfly kisses.

slender tattooed fingers slid slowly up your bare legs, coming to rest just beneath the hem of your her shorts.

your breath hitched as jenni's strong hands slowly moved even higher up your thighs, going as far as to teasingly flick the top string of your underwear causing the lace to snap back against your hips.

"shut up." you exhaled, gaining a burst of confidence to push her off of you, catching the older girl off guard as you moved now on top of her, tugging your shirt off and feeling your own ego swell as you tossed it over your shoulder and her darkened gaze dropped right to your bare chest.

"my eyes are up here." you mocked with a grin, jenni letting out a small chuckle. "wasn't your eyes I intended to look at anyway." the striker bit back, one hand gripping the back of your neck and pulling your mouth down to meet hers again.

the kiss was passionate as always but now far less sweet than all those shared earlier on the drive home from the game. "off." you mumbled against your girlfriends lips, pulling at the hem of her own shirt.

"no." she smiled into the kiss, feeling you huff shortly after but you knew better than to try and take it off yourself. instead your hands tangled themselves in jenni's hair which was out for once, nails scraping gently down the thick base of her neck and back up again, tugging gently at the jet black strands.

your bucked a little on top of her, her feather light touch slowly trailing to rest just above your shorts, pointer finger tracing shapes on the warm skin of your lower stomach.

"jenni." you breathed out shakily as the older girls hand slid into your shorts, slender fingers pressing teasingly against your underwear as her lips moved to pay some attention to your neck.

"mm?" the striker hummed, not wasting anytime before her teeth nipped at the sweet spot of your neck just below your ear she knew all too well, sucking harshly of course leaving a bright red hickey as they pulled away with a small pop and you couldn't help but moan.

"better mi amor, not so quiet now hm?" her breath was warm as she chuckled, nose tucking into your collar bone and before you could even blink suddenly you were beneath her once more, raven hair falling around you both like a curtain.

"venga princesa, let me hear those pretty little noises." jenni cooed, hand still down your shorts but touching everywhere except for where you really needed her, a sharp pinch to your inner thigh having your head pressed back into the pillow with a whine.

"jódeme!" you moaned quietly, this time into her mouth as the word was swallowed by the strikers skillful tongue licking filthily against the roof of your mouth as your hips bucked, pushed back down into the mattress by her hand which moved to sit on your lower stomach.

"i'm trying, be patient bebita."

"please hurry up!" you exhaled needily, your hand knocking against hers trying to push it back where you needed her. "oh no no no mi amor, you do not tell me what to do. remember your place." her tone shifted into something more authoritative which made your head spin.

"but since you said please." your hands flew to grip jenni's shoulders as the older girl slid two fingers inside you without warning, moving around in teasingly small circles.

"jenni!" you whined, a slight wince from the striker as your nails dug into her skin, creating moon shaped dents in the tanned flesh. "mi niña buena." the girl praised, free hand coming to caress your cheek.

"mierda!" you moaned louder this time, hips bucking as her fingers pistoned in and out of you picking up place now, slender and skillful as she knew exactly what to do to manipulate your body into giving her the reaction and validation she craved that she was making you feel good.

"you're so tight amor, are you close? don't lie to me." her breath was warm as it ghosted your ear, her teeth tugging at your ear lobe making you push your head back into the pillow with a nod.

"no no no jenni please." you whined as right as you neared your peak her strokes slowed, causing a frustrated groan to fall from your lips now as they stopped all together.

"remember princesa? patience. trust me, you know i make you feel good."

you didn't even have time to utter a word as you felt jenni shift on top of you, weight moving as she slid down the bed a little more, lips kissing their way down your body agonizingly slow.

hands pulled your shorts and underwear in one move as your hips bucked again at the feeling of cool air blowing against you. you reached down and tangled a hand in jenni's hair again as the girl settled between your legs with a wink that almost had you moaning again.

still teasingly slow she peppered butterfly kisses up the inside of your thighs before her teeth grazed the skin with a nip, pushing your legs apart again as you clenched them together with need.

"jen please!" you just managed to breath out as the striker gently blew air along the fresh hickies now littering your inner thighs that you knew you'd be complaining about later, voice cracking with your words.

jenni didn't even need to say a word as her gaze flicked up to meet yours, moving to press a kiss on your lower stomach, hazel eyes alight with lust, confidence only growing as she saw the need clearly reflected on your face.

"qué? use your words cariño." the girl teased, softly kissing your stomach again as her thumbs traced circles into your hips. though right as you tried to tell her exactly what you wanted they dissipated into a moan as her tongue pressed flat against your centre.

"jesus jenni!" you exhaled, hips pinned to the bed by her large hands as you squirmed, sensitive from the bleeding remnants of your destroyed orgasm earlier.

"jesus!" you repeated louder this time, tugging on her hair which spurred her own further, her lips wrapping around your bud and sucking sending your head pushing back into the pillow with a whine, body pinned flat to the mattress as you continued to squirm.

"sí amor! sí sí sí." you chanted feeling the pressure rise again, the coil in your stomach tightening hard and fast as her tongue skillfully flicked and pressed seemingly everywhere all at once.

though right before you could come, again any trace of jenni disappeared and your eyes widened in disbelief as the older girl sat up, simply staring down at you wordlessly with a cocky smile, raven hair pushed messily to one side of her head.

"jenni are you fucking serio-" you began to tell her off with a growl, far from appreciating this ongoing teasing, your words cut off by fingers suddenly replacing her tongue as jenni laid down and pressed your bodies together again, tasting yourself on your girlfriends lips as they moved against yours swallowing your anger in a sloppy kiss.

"jesus faster!" you moaned into her mouth, the girl only slowing her pace in response causing you to drag your nails down her back in frustration as jenni smirked, ego ablaze right now feeling you buck and squirm under her.

the feeling of knowing you needed her, made jenni drunker with power than any alcohol could ever dream.

finally her fingers curled, hitting exactly where you needed her to and the striker made no move to slow down this time, your chants spurring her on, hissing as you pulled away and bit down on her shoulder which was still covered with a thin t-shirt.

"jesus jesus jesus jenni!" you cried out as finally you hit your peak, body bucking and squirming as the orgasm you'd been denied washed over you, jenni murmuring sweet nothings into your ears as she helped you ride it out.

gently she pulled her fingers away and shifted off of you as your arm came to cover your face which was burning bright red, chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath.

"hola hermosa, estás bien?" jenni softly pushed your arm away, fingers moving a few strands of hair which clung to your sweat dampened forehead behind your ears, genuine care in her features as you nodded, still lost for words as you leaned up to peck her lips a few times.

as the taller girl laid back down you moved to tuck yourself into her arms, her hand moving softly up and down your back as you continued to bring yourself back down to earth.

"well princesa, that was less than ten minutes no?" "jenni you are so unromantic."

~

if there was something you knew you could count on with your girlfriend, it was that if that there was an opportunity to tease you she would take it.

despite being older by a few years your friends would all agree you were the more mature of the pair, your girlfriends sense of humor not dissimilar to that of a teenage boy experiencing puberty.

something you had no issues reminding her of time and time again or that she had no worries solidifying to be true over and over.

you set down her breakfast that next morning, kissing her softly and shooting her a playful glare as her hand collected your ass in a silent thank you, a wink the only response you got as she cut into her eggs.

plating up your own food you gave her a strange look as she moaned loudly at the first bite, lips tugging into an amused smile at the childish behavior. "jesus!" jenni moaned again, licking the tips of her fingers happily.

you hadn't quite caught onto her just yet.

"its good then?" you chuckled with a shake of your head, your girlfriend nodding with a happy hum before shoveling several more large forkfuls into her mouth as you winced.

"don't choke." you mumbled under your breath, grabbing your own plate and joining her at the table, the two of you eating in a comfortable silence, the news playing on the tv in the background.

"tan bueno mi princesa. jesus!" jenni moaned a few minutes later, pushing her empty plate away with a content sigh as you sent her a funny look then caught the slight smirk in her features.

then it clicked.

"are you mocking me?" you realized with a small gasp, dropping your fork as your eyes narrowed into a glare, crossing your arms across your chest. "me? amor no no i would never. god i am just so tired this morning, jesus!" she moaned once more as she stretched and your jaw clenched.

"you are so-" you inhaled sharply, unable to find the right word as you stood, grabbing your plate and leaving her to deal with hers. "irresistible?" she hummed, body pressed against yours from behind as you rinsed your plate in the sink.

"irritating." you scoffed, pushing back and sending her stumbling as you headed off for a shower, jenni stopped from following after you as the doorbell rang.

"gracias." you heard her thank whoever was there as you grabbed out a clean towel, leaving it in the bathroom as she called for you. you sent a polite smile to the postman lingering in the doorframe, a package tucked under your girlfriends arm as his clipboard was in her hand.

"amor can you just check i have signed this correctly?" jenni asked showing you the paper as you frowned, eyes scanning over her signature. "what is the second j for?" you asked confused, jenni handing the man his clipboard back with a nod.

"jesus jennifer hermoso, i think i might get it legally changed." your girlfriend replied nonchalantly as your eyes widened and cheeks grew pink with embarrassment, hurrying to almost slam the front door closed behind the confused looking delivery man.

"you are-" again you struggled to come up with the right words, the striker rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet with a cheeky grin, wiggling her eyebrows at your lack of response.

you could only huff, pushing at her chest and stalking off to the bathroom, hearing her hurry to put the package down and come after you, foot jammed in the door before you could shut it on her, slipping her body inside.

"now now mi amor don't be mad." jenni cooed, hands grabbing your face and pecking your lips repeatedly as you really hated how you couldn't stay mad at her, far too used to her annoyingly charming behaviour.

"would it make you feel better if we showered together and i helped you say you prayers?"

[girlgenius1111]

one of your girls

alexia x jenni x leila x reader a celebration is in order after leila makes her return to the national team. smut, 18+. part of the rush verse... for context: Read Part One here Read Part Two here Read Part Three here Read Part Four here Read Part Five here Read Part Six here Read Part Seven here Read Part Eight here authors note: this is very much a co-written fic. it would not be what it is without @vixwritesagain. i can't really say enough about how incredibly & insanely talented vix is. however good you think she is, multiply it by like 10. and you'll feel how i feel after watching her write in real time. for every comment you leave, you better take your horny asses over to vix's inbox and give her all the love. <3

-----

“I-” You interrupted yourself, pressing a gentle kiss to Leila’s lips. “-Am so proud of you.” 

She grinned bashfully back at you, a rare show of shyness that few got to enjoy. “How proud?” 

“So proud, Lei. You were incredible. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” 

“Proud enough for a reward?”

You threw your head back and laughed at the hopeful expression on her face. 

“Definitely.” 

Leaning in eagerly, you sank into the kiss your girlfriend pressed to your lips. It only lasted a second, though. Leila’s arms kept you tightly held against her, even when you tried to pull away at the light knock at the door. You broke the kiss, but Leila just shifted, attaching her lips to your pulse point. 

“Lei?”

“Hmm?” Leila hummed. You could feel the grin on her face, and you were pretty sure you knew the answer to the question you were about to ask.

“Who is at the door?” 

Leila pulled back, ignoring the second knock at the door, this one harder and somehow more aggressive. “My reward.” She told you, smiling mischievously as you raised an eyebrow. 

“You… arranged your own reward?” Your lip twitched as Leila refused to look embarrassed. 

“Sí!” Leila said happily, giving you a gentle shove in the direction of the door. With a roll of your eyes, one that was really just for show, you padded over to the door and looked through the peephole. On the other side, Jenni was holding Alexia’s wrist with an amused smile. The blonde looked to be trying to convince her girlfriend to let her knock again. 

Fighting a smile of your own, you unlocked the door and swung it open.

“Hi, cari.” Jenni greeted easily. Next to her, Alexia remained silent, but the small curve of her lips at the sight of you had you fighting a smile of your own. You stepped to the side to allow the two women in, Jenni walking right past to head for your girlfriend. Alexia stopped next to you, though, looking hesitantly at your hand for a minute, before taking it in hers and tugging you further into the room.

“There she is. Ready to celebrate, Lei?" Jenni teased, flopping onto the bed next to your girlfriend, who seemed to be too excited to sit still. "I think you deserve something special for your first game back."

"You scored." Leila pointed out, but her bright grin gave away her delight.

"Jenni always scores." Alexia hummed with an unmistakable note of pride. "And she's always well rewarded for it."

Alexia shifted from your side and took a seat on the other side of Leila. You were left standing while all three women sat on the bed, but you didn’t mind watching them converse. Alexia made it clear that you were still on her mind when she addressed Leila, but spoke English.

“So we can start with you. What do you want your prize to be?” She husked.

“You can have whatever you want, Lei. I am sure you brought plenty of toys.” Jenni added. 

Leila nodded, looking between the two Spaniards on each side of her. Until this point, you weren’t quite sure where you fit into this. When Leila looked up at you, a twinkle in her eye, you were suddenly very sure where this was going. 

“I want you to fuck her.” She said nonchalantly, nodding her head in your direction. Jenni grinned, pulling the other brunette in until their lips met. Alexia turned to you instantly, confusion radiating off her. Even as she reached towards you, standing and pulling you closer by the hem of your shirt, she looked at Leila like she’d grown a third head. 

“For your reward… you want us to fuck your girlfriend? In front of you?” 

Leila tilted her neck to the side, allowing Jenni to begin to leave faint marks on her tan skin. “Sí.” She grinned, looking at Alexia expectantly. 

“That is what you want?” Alexia asked again. She grabbed at your shirt before you could move any closer to her, dragging it up and over your head, even as her attention was still fixed on your girlfriend. 

Leila giggled, and Jenni pulled away from her neck with a smirk on her face. She was highly amused at how Alexia was baffled at Leila’s willingness to share you, whilst simultaneously wasting no time in pawing at your bra. “What, Ale, do you want her to change her mind? Take your toy away from you?” 

At her girlfriend’s words, the blonde frowned. “No,” Alexia all but growled, seemingly looking to prove a point when she turned you both around, and pushed you onto the bed. She was on top of you within a second, and you let out a surprised huff at the sudden movement, raising your eyebrows at Alexia as she settled over you. Her hazel eyes were suddenly just inches from yours, pupils dilated and jaw clenched tightly as she regarded you. Then, her expression softened, just barely. 

“Vale?” She asked, waiting until you nodded to press her body down, her lips capturing yours in what you had come to know as a very Alexia kiss. Once Alexia got started, she didn’t stop. Even when she began running her hand over your bare abdomen, her kisses were demanding. Her mouth moved in sync with yours, anticipating your every move. Before you could part your lips and press your tongue into her mouth, she beat you to it. Before you could let out the content noise building inside of you, Alexia was exhaling harshly into your mouth. Kissing Alexia didn’t give you any space to think about anything but kissing her back. 

You barely heard Jenni clear her throat from next to you, but you did hear the annoyed grunt Alexia let out. 

“Ale,” Jenni called. 

“¿Qué quieres?” Alexia snapped, refusing to look at her girlfriend, instead moving her lips to trail down your neck and chest. 

“Oye. Leila said she wanted us to fuck her.” 

“So fuck her?” Alexia asked impatiently, giving her girlfriend an exasperated look. 

Jenni considered for a moment, before taking advantage of Alexia’s slightly off balance position over you. It only took a single gentle push from Jenni for Alexia to roll off of you with a small gasp. The brunette pulled you closer, and away from Alexia, craning her neck down so she could kiss you. 

You wondered how much time would need to pass before kissing Jenni felt unfamiliar. You’d gone years before, and more recently a few weeks without kissing her, but it still felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

You were rapidly pulled out of that more sentimental thought by Alexia gripping your chin and yanking your face towards hers. You leaned your head away instinctually at the harsh action, a bit startled at the contrast between Jenni’s gentle and Alexia’s rough. You weren’t sure what your hesitance was, but luckily Jenni gave you a moment to think. 

A hand on Alexia’s chest stopped her from moving in again. “What now?” She groaned. 

“Give her a second to catch up, Ale,” Jenni said. Her tone was both comforting and a tad  condescending. 

“I do not remember her needing a second last time.” Alexia grumbled, raising a single eyebrow at you. 

At the mention of last time, you flushed bright red. It was one thing to be between them again, and entirely another to remember the last time it had happened. To suddenly be sent spiralling, full force, into memories of that night. Those hours spent with Alexia, Jenni, and your girlfriend had served as an overwhelmingly hot distraction since. You thought about it in the car on the way to training, in the shower when your mind wandered. You even thought about it when you were with Leila, but seeing as though she was often the one to bring it up, you didn’t feel too guilty about that. A deep breath, in and out. Then, you forced yourself to relax into Jenni’s arms and looked expectantly at Alexia. 

“Get on with it, Putellas.” You said impatiently, refusing to give in to the midfielder’s blazing gaze. Leila chuckled from where she sat on the edge of the bed, smugly grinning at Alexia. The blonde’s gaze flickered to her for a second, then back to your lips. 

Alexia licked into your mouth, hot, wet and demanding. The hand on your jaw slid down until it cuffed your neck. You could feel Jenni’s hand wandering over the swaths of bare skin, then teasing at the waistband of your sweats. 

Groaning into her girlfriend’s mouth, your own palm found Jenni’s bicep. Your legs squeezed together at the tense of her muscles, shifting against the sheets to feel the heat of them both. 

“Needy.” Jenni accused as your hips squirmed when she stroked over them. 

You were quick to pull away from Alexia, twisting to the striker. “More, Jen.” 

Jenni chuckled, lifting her hand to press your stray hairs behind your ear. “Oh, you think you're in charge now?”

Alexia ducked down to kiss at your neck, shifting her hand only a fraction to give herself some space. You could feel her move, kneeling on the bed at your side. 

“Just-” You squeaked as Alexia unceremoniously groped at your covered chest. 

“Just?” Jenni sang, reaching her hand down to pull at the drawstrings of your pants. “Just let us play. Take what we give you and maybe we’ll let you come.”

Alexia pulled at the cups of your bra, exposing both breasts to the cool of the A/C at the same time. The shock was short lived. Half a second, then her hot mouth covered one. 

Gasping, your hand cradled her head to hold her against you. Her tongue swirled around your nipple, feeling it harden with every pointed flick. With the speed of someone who had down this many times, Alexia unclipped your bra with one hand, sliding it away. Her mouth never left your body.

You hardly registered Jenni slipping off the bed to stand. Her fingers made quick work of the knot and before you could so much as whine, she pulled the sweats down your legs. 

You could already feel the wetness between them, but if it wasn’t crystal clear, Jenni made it so when she pressed your thighs open. She let out a breathy groan before bending between them to mouth at the tender skin. 

A sharp bite to your nipple made you jolt. Jenni’s fingers dug in, holding your legs open as your back arched. 

“Again.” The striker demanded. 

Alexia switched sides instantly, gently grazing her teeth over your breast before sucking at the peak. She waited until your nipple was hard and sensitive before biting down. 

“Fuck!” You whined as your eyes tried to focus on the swirls of the hotel room ceiling. 

Then came Jenni’s thumb, stroking up and down your underwear to let you feel how wet you’d grown. Just a few seconds, then the heat of her mouth kissing at the fabric. Your hips bucked against her at the tease. 

Jenni hummed back, pecking at your thighs once more. “Ale. Get behind and spread her for me.” You could feel her hot breath between your legs before her fingers hooked on the waistband of your underwear.

As you helped - squeezing your legs together enough for Jenni to pull the fabric away - Alexia shifted. Strong hands pushed and pulled, manhandling your body until your back pressed against her t-shirt. A peck to your neck, then her hands slid to your inner thighs and spread them wide. 

“How does she look?” Alexia asked as your head dropped back onto her shoulder. 

“So pretty for us.” Jenni hummed. “And so wet. Can you see how wet she is, Lei?” 

You forced your eyes open, scanning the room until you found your girlfriend, comfortably reclined in the armchair in the corner of the room. You recalled the chair being in a different spot yesterday; Leila must have moved it earlier to give herself a better view. 

Your girlfriend didn’t have her signature smile on her face. Instead, she frowned slightly at Jenni, her forehead creasing in what you knew to be faux concern. “I can see.” Leila sighed. “I get her wetter.” 

There was no jealousy behind your girlfriend's words. Just some playful disappointment, and a hint of a challenge. And while you knew if the comment had been directed at Alexia, she would have let her competitiveness take over, Jenni did not. 

“It is more fun to take it slow. Make her beg for us. Right Ale?” 

Alexia hummed in response, one of her hands sliding up your midsection to pinch at one of your nipples. 

“You think I don’t make her beg?” Leila laughed. 

Jenni pulled away, turning her neck slightly to reply to Leila, but you had lost your patience. You grabbed the back of her head and attempted to bring her closer to your core. Jenni froze, showing an enormous amount of neck strength as she fixed her gaze on your face. 

Her hazel eyes stared into yours as she cocked an eyebrow, daring you to keep testing her. You waited a beat before begrudgingly pulling your hand away from Jenni’s head. 

“She just needs to look at you, bebé? And you’ll do whatever she wants?” Leila teased. 

Cheeks turning red, you shut your eyes and relaxed back into Alexia while you flipped your girlfriend off. You felt the blonde behind you smile into your neck, returning her hand to your leg to keep them spread wide.

 Jenni worked with a renewed passion, now, showing that she definitely had taken Leila’s comment to heart. Her tongue moved expertly. It didn’t matter how many times Jenni went down on you, it would always be shockingly good. 

“Tell me how Jenni’s mouth feels.” Alexia demanded. Her voice was quiet but her tone left no room for negotiation. 

“Good,” you breathed. You knew it wouldn’t be enough when Alexia’s hands tightened their grip on your thighs. 

“More. I have heard I am supposed to work on my English.” 

You struggled to force your mind to focus, especially as Jenni’s tongue quickened its strokes over your clit. Your hips rolled against her, picking up her fast rhythm as much as they could with Alexia holding you open.

“She feels… her mouth is hot.” You sighed, not entirely sure you were making much sense. 

“Hot.” Alexia repeated. “What else?” 

“She’s- I’m close,” you groaned, shivering at the harsh licks. “I’m really close.” 

“Sí? Are you going to come all over Jenni’s face?” Alexia cooed. Her tone was mocking and it shouldn’t have pushed you towards the edge the way it did. 

“Yeah,” you managed, your back arching slightly off of Alexia’s body. You were so close, just needing a hint more pressure from Jenni’s tongue, a touch more stimulation. 

“Don’t tell us. Tell Leila.” Alexia whispered, her words hot on your ear. 

“Lei, I- fuck,” You tried. One of your hands found its way to tangle in Jenni’s hair as you tried to bring her closer, make her go faster. “Lei I’m gonna come,” 

“Go ahead, bebé.” Leila sang. You could hear the bright smile in her voice. 

Jenni pressed her face closer, taking your clit into her mouth and sucking. Hard. That was all it took for you to cry out as your orgasm broke. One of your hands tightened in Jenni’s hair, the other frantically grabbing at the sheets as your hips bucked against her face. 

“There you go,” Alexia hummed. “Tan rápido.” You should have been suspicious at how gentle she was being, but you weren’t in the right mindset to do so. Instead, you were completely focused on Jenni’s tongue still flicking against you. You were coming down hard when you felt one of Jenni’s fingers teasing at your tight cunt. You flinched, but Alexia’s strong arms held you firm. 

“Jesus Jenni,” You cried as she pressed inside. 

It was more understandable why Alexia was being so nice. Especially when she banded one arm around your stomach and reached her hand up to grip your throat. She didn’t tighten her fingers. Her hand just rested there, giving a glimpse of the control you knew Alexia was dying to show. 

Hands occupied, Alexia couldn’t stop your lower body from moving. Your legs twitched and squirmed as one finger became two. The stimulation was just on the edge of being too much. Jenni knew what she was doing though, pulling away from your clit for the moment and focusing on pumping her fingers in and out of your pussy. It was a quicker build up this time, and you were getting close to finishing frighteningly quickly. 

Jenni’s fingers curled and twisted perfectly, hitting different spots with every thrust. You could hear how soaked you were, listening to the wet slide of Jenni’s fingers in and out of you. The sound alone was dizzying, and the feeling was otherworldly. 

“Jen,” You moaned again, not sure what you were trying to tell her. It was almost too much, but you definitely didn’t want her to stop. 

“Cari?” Jenni asked innocently, a third finger teasing at your entrance.

“Fuck!” 

“That’s what I’m doing.” Jenni smirked, pressing the third inside. “Now be good and make a mess on my fingers. And then I’ll let Ale have a turn.” 

Alexia’s spare hand danced over your bare skin while her fingers tightened around your throat. It was just enough to restrict your airflow, and an overwhelming sensitivity seemed to take over every nerve ending in your body. You shivered, clumsily reaching up to place your hand over Alexia’s. 

She could feel your rapid pulse under her fingers, hear the quiet whimpers finding their way out of your mouth. “Venga.” She whispered impatiently, “I want to fuck you.”

The hiss of words in your ear did it. A loud whine left your mouth as you came, the muscles in your abdomen tightening as you went hurtling over the edge. The pleasure was mind numbing, blinding, and you were unaware of what your body was doing until it began to ebb.

You practically went limp against Alexia a minute later, a long exhale escaping your mouth as Jenni’s fingers pulled out of your tight centre. 

“Good?” Jenni chuckled. 

You didn’t reply, your attention instead focused on Jenni’s slick fingers reaching up to push into Alexia’s mouth. Alexia parted her lips eagerly, and you noted somewhere in your mind that it was the easiest you had ever seen Alexia comply with what Jenni wanted. You watched as Alexia licked at her girlfriend’s fingers. Her lips closed around them and she began to suck, grunting lowly at the taste of you.

Suddenly, the warmth of Jenni was missing from in between your legs, her fingers extracting themselves from Alexia’s mouth. Together, Jenni and Alexia shifted you over and away, leaving you resting comfortably against the pillows.

You couldn’t help but pout at the loss of contact. Your bare skin left you exposed against the sheets, the only one in the room to be naked.

“You look so pretty waiting for them.” Leila said quietly, more than a hint of affection in her voice. You relaxed into the pillows, feeling your face flush slightly at the way in which Leila’s eyes bore into yours. 

“Leila, ¿así es como se hace su maleta? Es un desastre.” Alexia asked, frowning in disgust as she rifled through the suitcase. 

“She asked you here to fuck her girlfriend, not insult her packing skills.” Jenni flicked her lightly on the ear. “Lei, which is your favourite?” 

The striker held up two dildos, as if she was asking which beverage Leila wanted. As if you couldn’t feel the phantom of both pressing inside of you. 

“Left. But there is another in there she likes more.” 

“Dónde? Debajo de este suéter feo?” Alexia mumbled quietly, ignoring the look Jenni sent her way. 

“Hurry up.” You cut in, your voice embarrassingly whiny.

Frustratingly, neither Alexia nor Jenni even glanced in your direction. They continued to bicker quietly, this time over who got to wear what strap, and you shared an amused smile with your girlfriend. The argument was decided with Alexia silenced by a look you’d never seen on her girlfriend’s face before. 

The two harnesses and two dildos were left on the desk as Alexia reached for the hem of her girlfriend’s shirt, but Jenni swatted her hand away with a roll of her eyes. “This is not about you Ale. Ask Leila if she wants us naked.” 

“I want you naked.” You commented from the bed, sighing in frustration when all you got was an amused look from Jenni. 

“Ouahabi?” Alexia asked impatiently, slowly pulling at Jenni’s shirt as if she was going to sneak it off her. 

The defender hummed. “If you want to come in her pussy, you should take your clothes off, no?”

All was still for a second, then Jenni grinned and slid her hands under Alexia’s shirt. They undressed each other impatiently, not sparing a second to take the other in as more and more smooth skin was revealed. 

You took it all in, though, watching with your jaw hanging open as muscular abs and quads and biceps and everything went on display. You only snapped out of your daze when both women had secured the straps to themselves, turning to you with downright evil grins on their faces. 

You only had time to look fleetingly at Leila, comforted just enough by the warm brown of her eyes that were on you, and only you.  

You were sitting up when Alexia moved across the mattress and settled between your legs. She pushed at your chest, sending you back into the pillows, before she pushed your legs apart. Your eyes were stuck on Alexia’s muscular form. You could have sworn she was flexing as she smirked down at you. 

“Bebé?” Leila called. Alexia frowned when you instantly tore your attention from her, and looked towards your girlfriend. “I want you to be good for them, sí?” 

You nodded, ready and willing to do whatever any of them asked. 

Alexia flicked at your nipple, startling your attention back to her. 

“And I want you to be loud.” She stated, shifting her hips forward so the tip of the strap pressed against you. The heat of her thighs nudged up against your own. “Shouldn't be hard for you. Let Leila hear how well I fuck her whore.” 

------

part 1 of 4 :)

[hellodropbear]

it's time. (II)

mapi leon x daughter

yay for part II! (part I here)

trust even i'm surprised that i finished this over the weekend (definitely should not have because I definitely have too much uni to be writing this)

hope you enjoy !!!!!!

~~~~~~

It was an unfamiliar sight, Mapi in the training kit. She frowned at herself in the mirror, still not entirely sure that this was the right decision. It felt unfamiliar too. The sleeves were tighter than she remembered and the shorts fell lower than they used to.

Even Isabel seemed to notice something was off with her mother, clinging to her all morning and providing her with more hugs and kisses than Mapi could have asked for.

"Go out?" The toddler was confused, clearly. It wasn't often that they left the house straight after breakfast time, but she knew they were leaving because she was dressed up in her special red and blue shirt and her Mami had brushed her curly hair back into a ponytail, clipping any stray hairs back with her favourite fluorescent clips. 

"We are going to training today, Is. Mami is going to play with your Ale and Leila from yesterday!" She mustered on a smile as large as she possibly could, trying to hide her anxieties and fear from the child and instead busying herself with slipping on her socks and some baby adidas sneakers. 

"Patri? Pina?" She frowned, wracking her brain for the other names. "Jenni?"

Mapi nodded. "Yes, with them too-"

"Ingrid!" Isabel beamed. "She pick me up!"

"Ingrid will be there, I'm sure."

The toddler laughed in delight, standing up from where she was sitting on the floor, her shoes and socks successfully on her feet. It was only when Mapi stood up too that she charged into her mother's legs, wrapping her arms around them in a big hug.

"Don't be sad, Mami!"

"I'm not sad, Is." She picked her up easily, grabbing both their bags for the morning and walking out of the apartment. "I'm excited!" 

It wasn't a long drive to the training centre, maybe half an hour. Isabel was easily entertained in the back, her lion captivating her in ways Mapi didn't think she would ever be able to comprehend.

But the 30 minutes was over too quickly and before she knew it she was walking back through those doors and into the changing rooms. She was early on purpose, wanting to avoid all the attention on her as she walked in also and wanting to meet the babysitter that the club had found to watch her daughter as she trained.

"She's 14 months old, she is smart though. She can say around 30 words and has a really good memory. She can walk well, climb up stairs if she's given the chance so please don't leave her alone near any steps because she is more than likely to fall."

The young looking girl nodded, her eyes flicking to the list she was given.

"She eats at 12?"

"Usually. There is a lunch box in her backpack, just start with the stuff labeled 1 and 2, then keep feeding her until she refuses. Usually she'll eat all the food offered, but if she doesn't want it, don't force it. Don't let her sleep if she gets tired because she naps at around 2 which is when we'll get home and I don't want to mess up the schedule."

The blonde nodded as Mapi looked her up and down, clearly judging whether she was good enough to look after her precious child. 

She hesitated. 

"Have you ever been arrested?"

The girl, maybe 18 years old, looked at her in confusion.

"No?"

"Where you a high school bully? Homophobic? Racist? Anything?"

She shook her head. 

"No, no. The club hired me, I have all my qualifications and plenty of experience. I had to go through two interviews for this. I'm from the preschool just up the road, we volunteered and then had to go through a long process to be hired by this club. I promise, I'm a good person."

Mapi nodded, still seemingly unconvinced. 

"This baby is everything to me. Ok? If a single hair on her head is missing or harmed, I know where to come looking."

She held the baby tight, not wanting to let go and the girl's eyes widened, cracking her knuckles out of anxiety. 

"Mapi!" 

Both Mapi and the babysitter's heads whipped towards the door, Alexia striding in and standing beside her shorter friend. 

"Leave her alone!" She shook her head, before looking towards the girl in front of her and sticking out her hand. "Alexia. What's your name?"

"Camila. Nice to meet you." She smiled uneasily, still hyperaware of Mapi's judgemental eye despite Alexia's sharp words and nudge in the side. 

"Nice to meet you too, Camila." She turned back to Mapi. "It's time to say goodbye to the pequena and go over to training. Jonatan just asked if you were actually coming back today or if he misheard because you're late. Don't restart that trend of being late every day, please." Alexia's was balancing on a fine line between desperation and leadership, Mapi well aware that she was trying her best to not be completely overbearing and bossy. 

Mapi rolled her eyes, taking one last glance at the increasingly more nervous babysitter in front of her before looking back down at the clueless baby in her arms. She planted soft kisses all over her head, trying to avoid the tears from springing to her eyes. 

"Ok, my Is. Mami loves you so much and I'll see you so soon. Be good for Camila for me, yeah?"

The baby smiled excitedly, clapping her hands. 

"Mami!" 

She wrapped her arms around Mapi's neck, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek and patting it once she had moved away. 

"I love you, Mami."

"I love you too, Is."

She blinked away the tears as she passed the small child over into the arms of the stranger, trying to ignore the look of confusion that crossed her daughter's face as she handed Camila the backpack. 

"Mami? Where go?"

"I'll see you very soon, my love." She struggled to look at her daughter as she spoke, worried that she would burst into tears and prevent her mother from leaving. 

The centre back kissed the crown of Isabel's head as the emotions washed over her, promising she would be back soon and that everything would be ok. Isabel seemed to understand well enough, looking up at Camila with curiosity, poking at her face with her chubby fingers. 

"Everything will be ok, Mapi. I promise."

Mapi nodded at her babysitter, leaning into the comforting arm that Alexia had placed gently over her shoulder. 

"Thank you, Camila." Alexia spoke for Mapi, sensing her friend's emotions. "We'll see you in a couple of hours."

It was only when they left the room that Mapi allowed a single tear to slip down her face, quickly brushing it away to try and hide that she had become so emotional. 

"It is stupid." She shook her head, looking away from Alexia. 

The midfielder was quiet for a few seconds, trying to decide the best way to deal with this unfamiliar and uncomfortable situation. 

"It is not stupid. She is your daughter, you are worried, this has never happened before. It is normal to feel this way."

Mapi shook her head, sighing softly.

"I have never had a babysitter for her before. You are the only person who has ever taken care of her without me there."

Her voice broke at the admission and she finally turned to make eye contact with Alexia. 

"What if she hates it? What if she needs me and I'm not there for her?"

The midfielder didn't respond, almost certain that Mapi wasn't done talking; that these were rhetorical questions. 

"What if it doesn't work out and she needs me for the rest of her life? What if I can never come back to football?"

Alexia sighed softly, Mapi's voice fading out a clear indicator that she was finished. 

"Maria, you can't worry about things that haven't happened yet. You will figure everything out, I will help you." She lead the centre back towards a seat, subtly texting Jonatan that they'd be a few extra minutes late. "Isabel is a good girl. She will be good for Camila and she will be happy to see you in a couple of hours. And if not, we can figure something else out, we can find a new babysitter, we can think of something else."

The centre back used the heel of her hands to rub at her eyes aggressively, sighing and leaning into Alexia's embrace. 

"I just worry that I'm not doing everything right for her. I want it all to be perfect because if Luis was here, her life would be more than perfect. He would have been such a good dad, and I can't even give her that."

The brunette observed Mapi carefully, using her thumb to gently wipe away the few lone tears that remained beneath her eyes. It was a topic that had come up often, Mapi's insecurities in comparison to her friend, but it was a topic that Alexia still struggled to talk her friend out of. 

Because of course Mapi is a great mother, but Luis would have been a great father too. Mapi knows that more than anyone so Alexia can't just say that they will never know if it's true or not. 

It would be an insult to Luis' memory. 

"Just because you don't have that picture perfect family does not mean you are doing anything wrong, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Isabel is happy, she is smart and she loves you. It's all you need. And yes, Luis would have been a great father but there is a reason that he trusted you to have her. Biologically, Mapi, she is yours. Luis wouldn't have agreed to spending all that money if he thought you were a terrible person with bad morals, bad decision making and not a maternal bone in your body. You just have to believe he would have trusted you with her life. Everyone else does, it is just you that struggles to comprehend it."

Mapi was silent but Alexia hadn't expected a response. Maybe in a few days when she had time to think about the midfielder's words, which Alexia was sure she would; she always did. But they were so meaningful - her words, too meaningful to be able to come up with something to say right on the spot. 

"Thank you, Alexia." 

~~~~~~

Surprisingly, training went well. It took five minutes and a splash of water to the face for Mapi to face the team in the gym, but it took less than 10 minutes for her to forget about all her issues once she started training. 

The gym work was stuff she had been doing for a year alone, but as soon as they headed outside and started playing, Mapi realised how much she had actually missed the sport. It was a part of her, she realised, and maybe she had been so down because she had been missing it for so long. 

She was practically flying up and down the field, blocking shots, dominating rondos and shooting free kicks far out of the box. 

It was like she was on a high, nothing would bring her down; nothing could slow her down. 

And Mapi couldn't have been happier. 

Alexia watched with pride as she slowly reverted back to the person she once was, boisterous, excited, happy. She was becoming the person that the midfielder had missed for almost a year and a half; the person she knew before her life was flipped upside down and shattered into a million pieces. 

The person that Alexia had prayed every night to see again. 

She hadn't lost any skill either, still the fierce defender who would put her body on the line if it meant preventing a goal and the entire team was shocked. Excited, maybe, to have one of their best players back after a slightly disappointing season. It definitely wasn't a secret that they had missed their key centre back. 

Mapi was thrilled. Excited, over the moon. She couldn't believe how good just one session with the team made her feel, the complete antithesis of how she was feeling when she broke down to Alexia, in doubt of everything she had done over the past 14 months. It felt like the beginning of her life falling back into place and she almost drunk with happiness and pride as she sauntered back into the changing rooms. 

She was the last one in, chatting away to one of the technical analysts about something entirely unrelated to football, so she was expecting a half empty changing room, most people heading out quickly or showering after the somewhat gruelling session. 

What she didn't expect was for everyone to be standing and waiting for her, beginning to chant her name as she entered. 

The tears that sprung to her eyes were happy this time, finally feeling like she was out of the long and dark tunnel, lost and confused with not a clue how she was going to get out. 

But like most tunnels, the way out was right in front of her. So obvious but so frustratingly challenging to reach, such a long journey required to get there. 

"Calma, calma!" She laughed as tears filled her eyes, a single pair of arms pulling her into a hug that was quickly joined by the rest of the team. "Vale. I love you all so much."

"Ah Maria gone soft!" Leila's teasing voice was easily distinguishable over the rest of the cheering and Mapi could only slap her lightly on the side as the hug dissipated. "I am joking, Mapi, of course I am." 

Leila smiled too and it was then that Mapi noticed her glistening eyes, and when she looked around the room, she noticed the same thing in a lot of her long-term teammates. 

"It is a family, Maria. Everyone is right there waiting for you to let them in."

"Everyone is there for you, Mapi. They love you."

"They were all so proud of you when they came yesterday, they can't wait for you to come back."

"They asked about you over the weekend, they want to know how you are doing."

"They want to meet Isabel, but they're worried that she's so small that they'll hurt her accidentally. They said they really wanted to visit you though, so long as I hold the baby."

Everything that Alexia had said to her about her teammates rushed through Mapi like a warm stream, emotions floating through the gushing water until Mapi was a crying mess in her cubby, completely aware of where the sudden emotion had come from. 

Because the midfielder was right, they were a family and Mapi did have their support. Even though she asked them to stay away, even though she ignored them for months. 

They were still there for her and the centre back knew that she would be there for any one of them if the roles were ever reversed. 

Because they are a family and the love each other like sisters.  

Alexia's arm was around her again, the familiarity a fire blanket on the emotions that were blazing through her. 

"Are you ok, Mapi?" The midfielder knew the answer to her question before she even had to ask it, but blinked away her own tears as she watched her friend fall apart. 

She wasn't used to an overload of emotions when it came to Mapi, usually just experiencing her naturally upbeat nature. She was never much of a crier, usually going numb immediately at any tragic or disappointing news, hiding her emotions to anyone around her and only breaking after she was sure she was completely alone. 

She still was like that, but with Alexia it's different. Alexia is her best friend and has seen her through so many highs and lows of life that she is entirely familiar with Mapi's sporadic emotions. 

Her tears in the locker room were not expected, but they did not come as a surprise to Alexia. Because the past months, full of challenges, of sadness and grief have lead up to this moment of pure and unbridled joy, something the midfielder had been desperate to witness for so, so long. 

There are of course be hiccups, bumps in the road and dips on the rollercoaster still to come. It still would not be an easy road for the centre back.

But for now, she was on a high and that was all that mattered. 

She had found herself again, out there on the field, right where she belongs. 

"I am just so happy, Ale."

~~~~~~

"Isabel!" The small toddler's head whipped up to the door, spotting her godmother at the door, beaming as the midfielder strode towards her. 

"Mi Ale!" She stood up from where she was sitting, waddling towards Alexia and wrapping her arms around her legs until the brunette reached down and picked her up, balancing her easily on her hip. 

"How was she?" Alexia's attention was on Camila briefly, as the blonde stood up, a sheepish smile on her face at being caught doing role play with a toddler. 

"Good!" The blonde nodded, only continuing at Alexia's silent request. "She was very well-behaved. We did some drawing, we played with toys, we played with blocks. She ate all the food she was offered and I think she is almost ready for a nap."

Alexia nodded, her attention back on Isabel. 

"You had a good day, Is?"

She nodded giddily. 

"Camila says I can come back again soon!"

"I'm sure you will." Alexia looked back up at the blonde who held out the small backpack. "Thank you, Camila. Mapi will be very grateful."

"It's no problem. She's an absolute pleasure."

Alexia smiled, telling the baby to wave goodbye and watching as she did so, before walking back out the door and towards the locker rooms. 

"Where Mami?'

"We're going to see Mami now."

Isabel babbled away incoherently as they wandered through the facility until she spotted her mother in the locker room, excitedly poking at Alexia and gaining Mapi's attention. 

"Mami! Mami!" 

Mapi's head whipped up and her face dissolved into a smile, standing up and striding towards her daughter, easily plucking her from Alexia's arms. 

"Hello my Is! I have missed you." She placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head as the child wrapped her arms around Mapi's neck. 

"Mami!" 

Mapi chuckled at her daughter's inability to say much else, instead just holding her close, grabbing her own bag and the small backpack from Alexia and heading out to her car, the midfielder close behind. 

"So I assume you're coming back tomorrow?"

Mapi looked at her friend like she was stupid, a soft smirk on her face as she finished strapping Isabel into her seat. 

"Of course I am. I'm back, Alexia. I think for good."

"I'm proud of you." She stood awkwardly, leaning on the side of the car, watching the blonde fuss over her daughter. 

"I wouldn't be here without you." It was clear that Mapi was becoming emotional again and was trying desperately to not let herself fall apart again. 

Alexia could see that, so she didn't do anything else or say anything else. Mapi was happy and that was all that mattered in that moment. 

"Drive safe."

Mapi looked at her again, the same look of amusement at her friend's statement. 

"I always do."

Alexia rolled her eyes, waving goodbye and walking over to her own car, her eyes still on Mapi as she got in. She was emotional herself after the training session, finally realising that her friend was slowly coming back to her. 

It was after Mapi had driven away and Alexia was sure that she wouldn't be seen that she allowed the tears to fall freely. 

It was relief, really. She was relieved that Mapi and Isabel really were going to be ok.

~~~~~~

Isabel was asleep in the back of the car by the time they arrived back home, and Mapi was able to carry her upstairs and into her cot without her stirring at all. 

It was only after she had finished up with some household chores that the baby monitor went off, soft garbling coming from the nursery.

"Hello there Is!" She cooed at the groggy toddler, lifting her up out of the cot and rocking her gently. 

She quickly ate the snacks she was offered, still sleepy when Mapi placed her into the stroller and headed outside and downstairs for their afternoon walk. 

"Where do you want to go today, Is?"

The toddler looked up when she heard her name, shifting from her comfortable position, arms wrapped around her lion toy. 

"Leon! Mi Leon." She held it up to Mapi and roared quietly, laughing at herself when Mapi smiled down to her. 

"Your lion." The mother confirmed, leaving the lift and walking through the foyer of her apartment. 

They were walking out when she heard someone calling her name, turning around quickly to see the pretty new signing, Ingrid Engen, walking towards her and leaving two large suitcases behind. 

"Ingrid?"

"Do you live here?" The Norwegian was smiling as she spoke, although Mapi could hardly tell whether she was actually smiling or if her face was permanently set in the positive expression. 

"Yeah. We live on the 6th floor." Mapi nodded, smiling but avoiding eye contact with the gorgeous brunette. "Do you?"

"I'm moving in today. 4th floor."

Mapi's heart had been steadily increasing ever since she heard her name, but at those words she thought it may stop right then. 

"We're just heading out on a walk, if you wanted to come."

The Spaniard didn't know why she was asking, but the words just came out. She could feel her face flushing as she spoke but the Norwegian just made her feel so unbelievably nervous. 

Ingrid looked down at her bags, then back up at Mapi. She blushed, smiling sheepishly. 

"I would love to. I'll just run these upstairs if that's alright?"

Mapi nodded, moving towards the seating on the right to sit down and wait, her head in her hands as she went through all the reasons why this was a bad idea. 

She didn't even know Ingrid, yet the midfielder made her feel a type of way that she hadn't felt in a very long time. She seemed so calm and so kind, someone that Mapi so desperately needed, yet refused to admit it. 

Because she didn't have time to be a girlfriend. She was a mother first, then a footballer. Having a partner just wasn't an option, not when she was so busy with her current occupations, not when she already felt so guilty for handing her child off to a babysitter every time she needed to do her job. 

She looked up at the sound of the elevator arriving, standing up when she saw Ingrid and pushing her pram over towards the door. 

"So, congratulations, Mapi!" The Norwegian beamed and the Spaniard looked at her in confusion which prompted her to elaborate. "Today... you had your first session back since Isabel. That's what the others said, why they were all so excited."

"Oh. Yeah." Mapi grimaced. It wasn't something she was particularly happy about, considering she gave birth over 14 months ago and only just went back to team training. "I'm glad to be back, I definitely missed it."

"I can imagine." Ingrid smiled as they crossed the street, the setting sunlight catching her eyes and causing them to sparkle, something that didn't go unnoticed by the Spaniard. "It can't have been easy."

Not wanting to get into that now with someone she barely knew, Mapi changed the subject with ease.

"Where do you want to go? We usually just go down to the park and have a bit of a play there, but we can go somewhere better if you'd like?" 

Ingrid shook her head.

"We can go to your park today and then somewhere else another day! I'm sure that your daughter wouldn't appreciate someone coming in and changing her routine." The Norwegian continued to smile, and Mapi became more and more sure that her face was always set in that grin.

She chuckled lightly at Ingrid's words, shaking her head. 

"She wouldn't care in the slightest. As long as she has somewhere to run and play with her lion, she's happy."

"She's adorable."

Mapi knew. She knew she had a cute kid, one that people in the supermarkets would rush over to coo at. But her kid was so much more than that because she was smart and she was so loving. She had an excited personality and was full of so much joy that Mapi would wonder where it was all coming from.

She loved her child from the moment she was placed in her arms, but the excited and joyful person that Mapi was known as had been lost since her friends were killed in that car accident.

Isabel reminded Mapi so much of her old self, but she didn't know where it could have come from. The baby’s joy and excitement about the world was the complete antithesis of Mapi's overwhelming grief, fear and confusion. 

And she knew that if it wasn't for the small baby that she loved more than anything else in this world, she probably wouldn't have made it through the death of Luis. Definitely not. 

But Mapi didn't tell Ingrid all that, instead just nodding in silent agreement. 

"She's a good girl. She's good for her Mami." The Spaniard looked down at the small toddler whose eyes were slowly drifting again. "She's always sleepy after her nap, then she'll be wide awake for a while at the park and usually will fall asleep on the way home. I'll wake her up when we get back, we'll eat dinner and then she likes to cuddle after dinner and that's when she'll fall asleep for the night and I put her down."

Ingrid laughed quietly. 

"Very established routine?"

Mapi blushed furiously, smiling with a sheepish expression. 

"The baby books all said routine was good. We fell into one and it's easy. She's easy. You know I took her to my paediatrician when she was 5 months old because she never cried?" Mapi laughed quietly. "I was so worried and searched up why and it was so scary that I took her."

Ingrid laughed alongside the Spaniard. 

"What did your doctor say?"

"She said that Isabel's happy, that I'm doing a good job and that I should never use google to find out what's wrong with her." She scoffed. "That’s why I had to start reading things up in the baby books!"

Their laughter dissolved into easy conversation as Mapi lead them down the street, letting Ingrid do most of the talking, listening intently as she raved about her home, her family. She told Mapi that Norway was filled with countless fjords and mountains, lakes and rivers that gave the country soul, spirit and wonder. She said it was a hidden gem, the most beautiful thing in the world. 

But Mapi disagreed, because how could anything be more beautiful than the girl that was stood beside her. Her eyes widened as the thought flashed through her mind, instantly averting eye contact and subtly shaking her head at herself.

She was like a 12 year old on her first date with their crush, and she cringed at the painful awkwardness that she made up in her head.

Ingrid listened as Mapi spoke about her home, back in Zaragoza where her parents and brother still lived, the Norwegian enthusiastic about visiting the Spanish city and immersing herself in the new culture.

Mapi listened as Ingrid complained about missing her cat and dog at home, and the Spaniard told her that she could meet Bagheera as a temporary substitute. 

It was easy for both of them, despite the language differences. Light conversation fell lightly in English, google translate only proving useful a handful of times, though Mapi emphasised that Isabel could barely understand her first language, let alone English.

The sun was well and truly setting as they arrived at the park, Mapi laying out the rug and pulling her daughter from the pram right under one of the street lights that would prove useful in half an hour. 

"Mami!" The girl squealed when her mother's face was finally in front of her, her eyes lighting up as she was placed on her feet, Mapi crossing her legs and sitting down beside her. 

"Is, you remember Ingrid from yesterday?"

The baby nodded shyly, moving back towards her mothers arms, nudging her face into the crook of Mapi's neck. 

"Don't be nervous, my lion cub! Remember, we are brave at heart."

"Lions, Mami." Slowly, her face peeked out from it's hiding spot, waving and smiling shyly at the Norwegian who waved back, a soft smile on her face. 

She slowly moved towards Ingrid, holding out her lion toy and making a lion noise. 

"She wants you to copy her." The Norwegian smiled at Mapi who had supplied the useful information, roaring softly at the small girl who giggled loudly and pulled the lion toy back into her arms. 

"soy leon!"  Ingrid couldn't understand Spanish, but somehow she knew what the toddler was implying, nodding happily as Isabel continued to babble in incoherent Spanish, entertaining herself by rushing between the two footballers who sat on opposite sides of the mat. 

The distance became shorter and shorter, however, as the two footballers inched ever so slowly towards each other, their voices softening as the sky became darker and the space between them smaller. 

The curly haired toddler fell exhaustedly into her mothers arms, dropping her lion beside her and cuddling up towards her mothers neck, successfully ending the ongoing conversation between the two adults. 

"You are tired, mi amor?"

Instead of answering, she yawned loudly from her comfortable spot in Mapi's arms, Ingrid laughing softly at her tired face. 

"I think it's time to head home for some dinner, if that's alright?" Mapi shifted nervously as she stood up, unsure if she should offer her hand to help Ingrid also. 

Luckily for her and her decision making, the Norwegian stood up and picked up the blanket before Mapi had finished her internal debate. 

"Of course!" Ingrid flushed crimson, her mind and body brought right back down to Earth, the floating feeling slowly evaporating as she folded up the blanket, an uncomfortable silence falling over the duo. 

Mapi was right in her prediction that Isabel would fall asleep as they walked home, and Ingrid laughed as she noticed that the girl had passed out almost instantly when she was placed down in the pram, tucked into a blanket and hidden away from the rest of the world with a scarf that Mapi used as a makeshift curtain. 

The walk home went quickly and the trio were back in the brightness of the apartment complex before they knew it. 

"Thank you for taking me with you this evening." Ingrid smiled gratefully, pulling Mapi into a soft hug. 

The Spaniard tried to stop herself from melting into those strong arms, but she was rendered speechless, her heart rate sky rocketing and her eyes closing. 

She regained her vocal abilities once the hug broke, clearing her throat awkwardly and averting her eyes. Those green eyes were too much for the Spaniard, they made her palms sweaty and her heart beat too fast for her liking, so she resolved to just not look at them. 

"It's no problem. Thank you for keeping me company. It was nice to talk to someone whose entire vocabulary isn't just limited to 'Mami' and 'lion'."

Ingrid laughed, and Mapi realised again that the sound of her laugh had the same effect on her as those sparkling eyes. 

As they said goodnight and retreated to their own rooms, Mapi also realised she was well and truly fucked. 

Because she couldn't date, there was no time. 

But she had fallen for the Norwegian, hard and fast, and she didn't think there was much she could do about it. 

"Your Mami is so silly, Isabel!"

~~~~~~

yay finished

I haven’t done much romantic writing so I’m worried that this will be painful for everyone to read (like it was for me) but let me know what you think!

if you have any requests please let me know, i will either add them in or write something about them at some other point (i have seen the ones that have been sent in and i will be writing them, just have to go through planning stages first)

i also was inspired from the olympics and have written a blurb of isabel as a teen competing in a sport (5 cents to anyone who can guess which sport) so please let me know if you'd be interested in reading it hahahah

and also let me know if you see any mistakes because i edited this all in one go and was too lazy to do a final read :)

(in summary, let me know)

have a nice day x

[woso-dreamzzz]

Cookies III

Laura Coombs x Reader

Summary: Laura comes home to something she doesn't like

Meeting you had been the greatest accident of Laura's life.

Something that she mused about all the time when she drove home from practice.

It had been snowing earlier in the day, the whole city covered in a soft, white fleece of snow that had Laura's toes freezing in her football boots all practice.

That snow had turned to hail on the one day of the year that Laura had to walk home from training because her car was getting serviced. Originally, she thought that it was snowing and she'd always enjoyed snow even if it made her toes so cold that it was like they were about to freeze off.

Then the hail hit and she was left without an umbrella and freezing cold toes. The hail got harder and harder and Laura was forced to take refuge in whatever the first shop she came across was to wait it out.

You called it a coincidence. She called it fate.

She'd stumbled into the bakery you owned and fell in love on the spot. You were behind the counter, boxing up the pastries that hadn't sold that day when she came sliding in.

You'd welcomed her in, guided her to the back and turned on the oven for her to prop her cold toes in front of to warm up.

You'd baked her a cake at that moment, a big one that tied her over until the hail was done and she could make it home for dinner.

Although she never exactly made it home for dinner. She took you to a restaurant instead, somewhere halfway between cosy and fancy where you spoke about everything that came to mind and earned her your number in return.

She returned to the bakery almost every day to help you lock up and walk home.

Now, you had nearly four years of marriage under your belt and a dog going through the teenage years.

"Hey, Butterscotch," Laura greeted the dog as she stepped through the door.

She hung up her coat and slipped off her shoes, freezing suddenly when she noticed the amount of shoes lined up next to yours. She wildly looked up at the coat rack where coats she recognised hung up over your own.

The voices coming from the kitchen were also recognisable and she stormed into the room.

Her teammates were scattered around.

Lauren and Esme were both sitting at the table while Sandy and Jill were actually sitting on the table, each of them munching on warm cookies with half-melted chocolate chips inside.

Leila and Laia were stroking Butterscotch (the traitor), who had happily trotted straight up to them and flopped onto her back for belly scratches.

Kerstin, Bunny and Jess were sitting up on the counters while Alex and Kelly were both standing by the mixing bowls, listening closely to your instructions.

"How," Laura said through gritted teeth," Did you all get here before me?!"

"Must've taken a detour," Alex said dismissively," Why, Coombsy, unhappy to see us?"

"I see you all for hours at training," Laura replied, arms crossed over her chest," I don't need to see you at my house. What are you doing here?!"

"Baking," Chloe said," What does it look like?"

Laura grumbled something unintelligible under her breath before swiping a hand over her face. "Obviously. But why? None of you are bakers."

"Chloe had an idea," Kerstin admitted, swiping a finger through the batter and sucking it off with a pop," About selling cookies and cakes and stuff at the games to raise money for charity."

"It's not really special if they're store bought," Chloe carried on," So Alex called the best baker we know and here we are."

"Don't worry, baby," You told your wife, pealing away from supervising the mixing to pull her into a hug," They're all going to be put to work eventually. Maybe you can make some of them help you clear out the backyard shed while everything bakes."

Most of the team go wide eyed.

You'd be complaining about the messy shed for nearly two years now and Laura kept putting off sorting it out until she had help and, with her whole team here, it look like she had all the help she needed.

"Excellent," She said, eyes alight with the idea of getting revenge for the invasion of her house. "Esme, Lauren, there's boxes in the garage. Kerstin, Leila-"

"You can't take Leila," You cut in," I've got her down for making my filling. And you can't have Laia either because she's meant to be making my cupcake frosting."

Laura nodded. "Okay, Jess, then. You guys can get the shovels out. Move it girls. Let's go!"

Alexa and Chloe snickered and Laura whirled on them.

"Don't start laughing now," She said," Because I'm coming back for you two as soon as you're done."

[mysticfalls01]

Princesa

(FC Barcelona x reader)

Ona moved to Manchester United to get more minutes and to learn a new style of playing to eventually seek the opportunity to join Barcelona back.

On her first day after the diplomatic signing protocol, it was time to meet her new teammates.

Her new teammates were still in the pitch after having finished their training session. While she was greeting and getting to know everyone the academy players starting training. Immediately her eyes went to the academy’s player with the number 12, y/n l/n. She saw the smile on your face and your natural skills for the game, even if it was only a practice session she could see your talent.

The academy trained after the first team so every day she saw you training, she knew that Manchester’s playing style wouldn’t let your skills develop to their full potential and she knew that she had to do something about it.

After three months in MU, and after doubting if she should do it, she sent her national teammate, Alexia Putellas a text in which she talked about you, your skills, your playing style and about how your true potential wouldn’t be reached if you stayed in Manchester.

When Alexia received that message, she knew that you must be special, she knew that Ona wouldn’t have risked sending her that text if you weren’t. She asked Ona to find out the academy’s calendar so a Barcelona scout could go to see you play.

You loved playing football and you wanted to train even more time than the scheduled time with the academy so after asking for permission you were able to join the first team training sessions thrice a week.

As soon as you met Ona the click happened. She took you under her wing. As time passed, she subtly started teaching you some Spanish phrases.

Barcelona’s scouting team were delighted with you after seeing some of your games, they realized that what Ona told Alexia was true.

When your season with the academy ended, they contacted your parents as you didn’t formally have an agent. When you learned about their proposal you immediately knew who had “recommended” you.

The next time you saw Ona, you asked her about it and all she said with a smile was “Well nena, I might have sent someone a text.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

After MU accepted Barcelona’s offer for you you asked Ona travel with you during the summer to Barcelona so you could settle down.

After helping you to settle down in your new apartment she presented you to her family as her new “hermanita”. Her family immediately saw why Ona had “fallen” for you and told you that if you ever needed help with anything to contact them.

Before Ona had to leave Barcelona to full fill the second year of her contract, she gave you Alexia’s number. “Hermanita, if you need help with anything make sure to contact Ale. She already knows that I’m giving you her number so don’t worry about it.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Moving to a new apartment and in a new city with only 17 was scary so when the first day of training with your new team finally arrived you sent Alexia a text.

“Hola Alexia it’s y/n, Ona gave me your number. I was wondering if you could pick me up to take me to the training session.” “Hola y/n! No problem, Ona gave me your direction, so I’ll be there in 15 minutes”

When Alexia met you, she felt the need to protect you, to guide you.

She gave you a tour of the clubs’ installations, gave you tips and helped you in any way possible. If anyone for any reason was rude to you, they were quickly met with Alexia’s glare, everyone realized that you were under her protection.

The team loved you, when they learned about you joining them, they were a bit skeptical about it but after seeing some of your highlights with MU academy they realized why you were joining them.

Bruna, Jana and you quickly became the chaotic trio. Patri and Claudia became your annoying older sisters. Mapi, Leila, Jenni and Mariona your crazy/cool aunts while Frido and Ingrid became your sane aunts. Aitana became your best friend even with the age gap and Alexia your team mom.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Being homesick was the worst feeling ever. Alexia quickly noticed that you were feeling down and she took matters in her hands.

Alexia invited you over to her and Olga’s apartment. She asked Olga to buy some fish and chips for dinner.

After training Alexia took you to her apartment, shyly you greeted Olga and the dinner started. You realized that you were going to eat fish and chips, you knew that it was Alexia’s way to comfort you even if it was with the most stereotypical British dish her intentions really warmed your heart.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

A few months later the fans gave you the nickname of “La Princesa” not only because of your skills but also because someone did compilation video of moments between you and your teammates where Alexia babied you, Mapi got angry with a defender who had tackled you too hard, Frido was rubbing her sunscreen on your face before practice, a video where you asked for Ingrid’s help for your math’s homework and many other moments. Obviously, the video went viral, and you gained a new nickname.

You still FaceTimed Ona every day and in each talk, you told her about your every day in Barcelona. You couldn’t wait for her to join back the team.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

After a team bonding session at a restaurant, you were exhausted so Ale and Olga took you back to your apartment. Olga waited in the car while Ale carried to your apartment and used her spare key to open the door.

She changed you into your pijamas and tucked you into your bed. Before she left and closed the door, she gave you a kiss on your forehead and you sleepily mumbled “Bona nit mama”

When Ale heard those words, she couldn’t help but to grin and said “Bona nit filla” (good night daughter)

When she arrived back to her car she told Olga. “Amor, y/n just called me mama”

“How wonderful Ale, I know that you already see her as your daughter and took her under your wing. It seems that after all y/nn really is la princesa de Barcelona” Olga said before giving Ale a soft kiss.

"Amor, please remind to send Ona a thank you text"

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Part 2

[charliehoennam]

fists of fury.

a/n: it took me a loooooong while, but i made it just for you @harmonity-vibes

pairing: billy hope x f!reader

summary: billy invites his girlfriend's ex, and stalker into the ring to squash their beef the classic boxing way

warnings: violence, stalker ex boyfriend, jealousy

SHARING IS CARING, REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT

Sweat trickles down your chest as your feet gently stomp against the treadmill. You breathe in and out, trying your best to keep your breathing under control using a technique you’d learned from your boyfriend, Billy.

From the corner of your eye, you spot the dreaded asshole you hate dealing with every single time you come to the gym: your ex, Tony.

You had dated for a couple of years and even lived together during your relationship. Although it’s been months since you broke it off with him and moved out due to incompatibility, Tony’s still been chasing you around the city relentlessly.

Most of it has been at the gym. You’ve tried everything to avoid the jerk like changing your schedule to work out at night instead of in the morning. It wasn’t enough for him to get the hint because he still showed up to work out at the same time as you.

Billy was livid when you accidently brought it up. You didn’t think too much about it, especially because you knew Tony wasn’t the kind of coward to beat on women. He didn’t scare you, just annoyed the living shit out of you.

Convincing Billy that you had it under control wasn’t easy, but he gave in when you agreed to work out with him at Tick’s gym.

The past couple weeks went as smooth as you’d hoped. You could finally work out without Tony pestering you to give him another change, making inappropriate comments on your form or spotting you against your wishes.

You felt like you could finally work out in peace. Until you saw the familiar face walking through the door. The way his eyes scan the room tells you he’s looking for you. Placing your feet on the either side of the treadmill, you stare at him in shock.

 You’re not surprised that he found your new gym. Your concern is how Billy will react once he notices Tony’s entered his territory.

You look over at Billy and thankfully, he’s too busy in the ring with Tick to notice Tony’s arrival. With a heavy gulp, you stop your cardio earlier than usual and walk over to take a drink from your water bottle. Your heart races with every step. You try to tell yourself it’s just from the cardio, but you can’t ignore how cold your hands as the blood rushes away from them.

“Just keep going. Act like you don’t know he’s here” you think to yourself, shaking your hands out.

You reply to your own thought with a nod and walk over to the weights. You could keep jogging on the treadmill, but the muscle training area is closer to the ring. If you’re closer to Billy, he won’t approach. Or so you hope.

Tony knows you’ve been seeing Billy for a few months - ever since you’d met and hit it off at a charity event which you had put together for underprivileged kids – but you’d already come be very special to both Billy and Leila.

You’re certain Tony knows about Billy because you’ve told him over and over again that you’ve already moved on. He always brushed it off, assuming it was a lie or some excuse to get him to leave you alone, but he insisted that he wasn’t going to give up on you.

Trying to focus on the music that blares in your headphones, you take the time to stretch your legs out and calm yourself down. You close your eyes; focus on your breathing and the addictive rhythm of the song you’re listening to.

Once you feel your legs are ready to begin your daily lunges, you turn to walk across to get your lightweight dumbbells but instead, you’re met with a wall of muscle standing behind you.

“Fuck,” you sighed ripping your headphone off to rest them around your neck.

“I was talking to you, but I don’t think you heard me. Music’s pretty loud. That’s not good for your hearing, you know.”

“The fuck are you doing here, Tony?”

“I thought I’d come check this place out. Wanna get back into boxing, you know?”

“You haven’t boxed in years” you say with a roll of your eyes as you push past him.

“Well, never too late to go back, right? Especially when the love of my life has a thing for boxers.”

You sigh annoyed and turn your back to him to continue your work-out, but you sense him following close behind you, so you decide to stop and face him.

“First of all, I don’t fetishize boxers. Secondly, I’m not the love of your life. And third, you need to fuck off, alright? It’s been months, Tony. Move the fuck on.”

“I told you, baby. There ain’t no moving on. You’re the only one for me. There’s only you.”

He reaches for your hands, but you quickly pull them back and glance at Billy praying he hadn’t noticed, but it’s too late. His broad shoulders square as he leans over the ring’s rope. Free from the gloves, Billy lifts his water bottle to take a drink as his other hand balls into a fist. Nostrils flares angrily as his jaw clenches. He’s watching closely with a predatory and calculating stare, empty of any emotion except for rage.

“Ay, Tick. Gimme a minute, yeah?” he says apathetically.

Following his stare, Tick quickly recognizes you but not the man talking to you. Having listened to Billy’s venting the past weeks, he can only assume it’s the ex he’d been complaining about.

“Billy, take it easy. You got a match next week.”

“Nah, I got this, coach.” Tick sighs watching Billy climb out of the ring.

Usually, he would try to stop a fight from breaking out outside the ring. The only reason he doesn’t try to stop Billy is because he knows he can take Tony on and also, he’s grown to hate the scumbag just as much as Billy.

“Hey, asshat! You gonna leave my girl alone or do I gotta bash your walnut brain in ‘til you take the hint?”

The punches that normally echoes throughout the gym grow quiet. The tapping of jump ropes and clanking of weight cease. Along with the silence, tension fills the gym as all heads turn to Billy.

“Billy, he’s leaving,” you reply quickly as Billy climbs out from in between the ring’s ropes.

“Come on, baby. Don’t start nothing, please. He’s not worth it.”

Billy hears your words, but all his tunnel vision can narrow in on is Tony, who chuckles and sizes Billy up with his eyes moving up and down Billy’s body, daring him to go on.

“Yeah, you think that’s funny? Let’s see if you’re still laughing when I knock your teeth out.”

“I’d like to see you try, man” Tony smirks fearlessly.

“Billy, stop” you say trying to stand in between them to stop their arguing, but your efforts are deemed hopeless as Billy gently pushes you out of his way to step closer to Tony.

“Ay! Ain’t gonna be none of that in my gym,” Tick shouts from the ring. Tony looks over at the coach, but Billy stays locked on your ex. “You wanna settle your beef, you settle it in the ring.”

Billy nods and smirks at the man.

“C’mon. Settle this like a man. You think you’re better, right? Big and bad, stalking my girl around. Put your money where your mouth is. Or are you gonna be a little bitch about it?”

“Who you calling a bitch, man?’ Tony replies shoving Billy back. “I’ll knock your ass out.”

“Make it happen, man, I’m right here.”

You sigh running a hand over your face as Billy snarls at your ex. You know Billy is more than capable of handling himself, but it doesn’t mean you enjoy seeing him fight. You tolerate it because he loves boxing.

Matches are easier to watch because it’s just business. This fight is anything but business. You fear that Billy might get blinded by his rage. The last time that happened, his wife paid with her life.

“Billy, stop this. This is ridiculous,” you say lowly as you follow behind him as he marches towards the ring.

“Stay out of it, babe. Ain’t just about you now.”

The steeliness of his words almost feels like a warning to stand down, like your pleas aren’t going to change his mind and they’re only a waste of breath. Billy can be stubborn, but it’s a man’s world. When egos are wounded and prides are stake, nothing can change his mind.

Tick’s confirms Tony’s signed waiver as Tony gloves up in one corner. Billy stands at the opposite corner, staring the man down like a lion hunting a gazelle. His body sways as he shakes his arms to loosen up, but his head doesn’t move. His gaze stays locked in on Tony, eager to strike.

There’s a darkness to his eyes that unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. You’ve seen him fight plenty of times, but this time, a cold terrifying chill runs down your spine. Your stomach drops heavily with the weight of the fear of what’s to come.

If it weren’t for the gloves, Billy’s fingers would be twitching with adrenaline. His anger towards the creep has been building up ever since you told him about Tony. His rage doesn’t simply stem from a seed of jealousy. It stems from a deeper root, one dug in the cold wet ground of his being.

He hates that a woman, his woman, can’t feel comfortable in public because this man. He hates the control over your life that that’s been stripped from due to someone who thinks he’s entitled to it.

The last time he defended his woman, he lost control. Although Tony doesn’t seem to mind Billy’s predatory gaze, after learning to channel his madness into control, Billy’s focus has never been clearer and, unbeknownst to Tony, it makes Billy that much more deadly.

You could hear a feather drop with the heavy silence in the gym. With all eyes on the ring, a bell rings and the fight begins.

Fidgeting anxiously from one foot to another, you want to look away. You don’t want to watch because you know it’s hardly a fair fight. Tony hasn’t boxed in years and Billy’s got years of experience under his many belts.

Billy puts his training with Tick into practice as the men inch towards each other. Blow after blow. Swing after swing. You watch Tony get tossed around like a rag doll. His strength to stand is still admirable, but it doesn’t long.

Once Billy’s punch sends him to the ropes, Billy loses all control. You watch, frozen by shock, as Billy is washed over by a fury unleashed like a wild dog from a cage too small.

His glove strikes Tony, square in the face, over and over again. Tick shouts at Billy, claiming the fight is over, but you doubt Billy can even hear anyone at this depth of seeing red.

Some of the experienced boxers quickly climb into the ring. One of them pull at Billy’s sweaty gray tank, desperate to separate the pair before Billy lands himself a homicide case. It isn’t until an arm locks around his head that Billy ceases his blows to Tony’s red and swollen face.

Billy tries to pull away from the men dragging him off your ex, refusing to part from him like a dog refuses to part from its hunt until it’s devoured.

As Tick and some other guys race to check on Tony and provide aid to his injuries, Billy is dragged to the locker room to calm down. You follow them, looking over your shoulder at the damage done to your ex.

“Let him go! He’s good! Just leave. Leave him alone to calm down!” you shout above the madness.

Billy paces angrily, trembling with adrenaline as the guys hesitantly follow your command. You watch him move back and forth as he spits his teeth guard out on to the floor and rips the Velcro of his glove off with his bare teeth.

“Look at me.”

He doesn’t hear you at first. Or at least, you don’t think he did though it is entirely possible that he ignored you.

“Look at me,” you repeat more firmly.

His nose flares with simmering rage as he stops in his track to turn his head, still anxiously balancing from one foot to another.

“Breathe, Billy… It’s just me here.”

Taking a deep inhale through your nose, he mimics you and releases the air through his mouth. You repeat the technique again and again, slowly approaching him like a savage and dangerous animal.

As his feet still their anxious movement and his fists begin to unball themselves, you gently lift your hands to cradle the thick sides of his sweaty tattooed neck.

He gazes into your eyes, feeling his pounding heart slowly settle in his chest.

“Come back to me, baby,” you whisper watching his healing eye blink as his pupils shift. “You with me?”

“I’m with you, baby.

[happysunnyflower]

What a breath of fresh air!

It seems that Alana has just befriended a nature enthusiast. Nature enthusiasts are passionate about the world they live in. What can make them super fun to dait (especially in outdoors)

It seems that Alana likes nature enthusiasts and has made a nice friendship with Leila.

[seeingivy]

it's time to go

actor eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

an: im sweating.

songs/media mentioned: happiness by taylor swift and it's time to go by taylor swift (not mentioned but name of the chapter!!)

previous part linked here

--

You take a deep breath in as you stand at the shining bright doors of the building, the reflective mirrors at the front showing you your small frame in comparison. You brush down the ends of your dress, ridding your palms of the sweat accumulating as you push through the doors. 

There’s a receptionist sitting at the front, with short black hair who is diligently typing away on the computer. You can see the issue of Vogue, the one the Attack on Titan cast did for season two, placed in a placard at the top of the desk. And when you look around, you see that every Vogue cover you’ve done - the one of you and Sukuna, for your albums - is displayed everywhere. 

Then again. This is a big deal. Surely it’ll be their biggest feature of the year. 

“Alright. Your interview should be up the stairs, in room eleven. They’ll start set-up at twenty and then the interview will start at half-past.” she states, handing you a shiny key-card. 

“Would you happen to know if my request regarding the piano was approved?” 

“I believe so. It should be in the room.” she responds, smiling. 

“Thank you!” you respond. 

You walk up the stairs and find the room, a few workers shuffling around the set. They all give you polite smiles as you walk straight onto the stage, an expensive brown couch on the left and the grand piano you requested on the right. 

You take your backpack off and pull out the box, filled with polaroids all tagged to perfection for your interview, as they all start adjusting the microphones and cameras into place. A shorter, older woman walks up to you, shaking the microphone pack in her hand as she gestures for you to stand up. 

“Hi! Thank you so much for helping me out today. I’m Y/N.” you respond, clipping the pack to the back of your dress. 

“No problem. I’m Leila.” 

You pause. 

“I know you. We-we’ve met before, right?” 

Her face widens in shock as she nods, a bright smile spreading across her face. 

“Yes, that’s right.” she murmurs, voice quiet. 

“It was…god. That was years ago, back when we were doing press for season two. We filmed a video for your daughter, she was asleep and she was a really big fan, right? How is she doing?” 

“She’s doing good. She’s still a big fan of your music.” she says, smiling as she loops the wires through your ears, shuffling your hair behind your ear as she readjusts. 

“That’s sweet. I’m so glad she enjoys it, that-that’s very special to me that she does.” you respond, cheeks warm and something stirring in your chest. 

You take her in full, trying hard to wrack your brain for how she used to look. She’s definitely years older now - five to be exact - but you can’t pinpoint any. No wrinkles, no tiredness - still the same woman you knew. 

But you’re miles away from who you used to be, having aged what feels like eons. You think back to the interview, the compliments you and Eren gave to each other stinging in your mind. 

Eren. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for you. Not only because you took a chance on me after our first screen test, but every other hiccup along the way was only something I could swallow because of you. You-your steadfast determination and belief in me is something so inspiring, so warm unlike anything else. You’ve always been a safe place for me, somewhere I can always run to when I need someone. I’m so glad we can always be fish together. 

Y/N. You’ve always been able to sense my feelings - my happiness, my frustrations, my pain - without me having to tell you. And you always, always know how to say the right thing to bring me back down to Earth from it all. You make me a better person and I love you for it.

You’re sure you're crying as you look back at Leila, her eyes wide as she reaches forward to wipe the tears. The deep feeling, the sadness sitting so deep in your chest that you’ve been trying to ignore, is suddenly too overwhelming, too loud for you to swallow. 

“I’m so sorry. Was it something I said?” she asks, her look frantic. 

You take her hand in yours, squeezing three times. 

“No. It’s me. I just remembered that interview. What Eren and I had said to each other and it made me a little sad, that’s all.” you respond, wiping your tears against the back of your hand. 

Her face deflates. 

“I’m very sorry for what happened. To the both of you.” 

You sigh. 

“Thank you. I-I appreciate that.” 

“This industry is not kind. To anyone. And having seen how you two were as kids, how genuine,  it’s sad to see what they’ve said to you both. You know that most of it, if any, isn’t your fault. People- they’re cruel. You’re a very brave girl for still coming here.” 

You swallow hard. And hope she still thinks you’re brave at the end of your interview. 

You sit down on the couch, anxiously tucking the ends of your hair towards the back of your ears, as the interviewer walks in, a bright smile on her face. Leila leaves, giving you a thumbs up as she walks away.

“Y/N. Congratulations. I’m Layla. Thank you for finally coming down for your interview.” she states, taking her seat on the couch next to you as they adjust the microphone in front of her. She has a blue box in her hands, which she tucks behind the couch. 

You don’t miss the snub she makes at you for postponing for months on end. You became a triple threat months ago. And your interview - about your career, about your work - was supposed to happen ages ago. 

“Thank you for waiting until I was ready. I can promise you-you won’t be disappointed with what I have for you. What’s that?” 

“It’s for you. We’re saving it for the end of the interview.” she states, giving you a smile. 

You nod, as you brace your knuckles against your own box, the director coming over to give you both directions and stage you properly against the cameras. 

“Hello everyone! My name is Layla Ray and I’m here with Y/N L/N. After a great deal of anticipation, Y/N is finally here, seated with Vogue, for the infamous triple threat interview. We’re going to go through the highs and lows of her career and ultimately discuss what comes with such a great title. Y/N, how are you feeling?” she asks, giving you a bright smile. 

You swallow hard. 

“Thank you, Layla. I’m doing okay. How are you?” 

“I’m great, thank you for asking. This interview has been a long time coming. Six months to be exact. Any particular reason why?” she states, adjusting her tone to be quieter, matching your tone. You can tell she’s a skilled interviewer - the excitement from before dying down as she brings the energy lower. 

“I-I wanted to be sure of what I wanted to say here. I want to be honest when we talk about my career and that requires self-reflection. I needed the time to do that. And I-I brought things here to share so I had to put those together too.” you state. 

“We’ll go back to the start then. What drew you to the industry - acting, singing, dancing?” she asks. 

You pull out your first picture, the one you ripped off of your wall. The paint is still stuck to the tape on the back, the picture of you, Falco, and Colt at your popstar themed birthday party. Colt and Falco have excited smiles on their faces, a sparkly pink crown on top of your head and your hands are clenched around the microphone, at the bottom. You can hear Eren’s words ringing in your mind. 

Everyone else holds the microphone at the top, their fingers nearly wrapped around the wire. You’re like the only person I know who holds it at the bottom - like you’re doing in the picture. 

“This is me at my fourth birthday party. It was a popstar themed birthday party my parents threw for me. I performed a little show for them and my brothers, did karaoke, the whole thing. I-I saw Hange’s speech a few years later when they became a triple threat and it-it basically cemented this as my dream.” you respond, holding up the picture before handing it to Layla. 

She’s smiling, running her fingers over the picture. 

“This must be a surreal moment. A dream come true.” 

You wish. 

“Let’s talk about Attack on Titan. How did you find out about it, what was it like being cast, and on a set for the first time?” 

“I found out about it through a flier at my coffee shop. I kind of showed up on a whim and did a chemistry read with my co-star. I got the role later that week and was flown out to be with them all. I-I was overwhelmed when I got there at first. I didn’t know much about the set, the terms that you’re supposed to use, they-they had to teach it all to me, like I was a five year old. A fish out of water moment.” 

You nervously walk to the other side of the set, where Eren’s sitting in the makeup chair. The team is brushing through the ends of his brown locks, his eyes fixed on his script in front of him, as he murmurs his lines under his breath. You reach forward and snatch the paper out of his hands and tuck it under your arm. 

“Good morning to you too, Y/N.” he responds, eyes wide as he smiles at you. 

“Sorry. Good morning, Eren.” 

He smiles. 

“I was joking. Did you need something?” 

“I have an embarrassing question. Can you come here?” you murmur, cheeks burning pink. 

He quickly hops off the chair, giving a sympathetic nod to the makeup team, as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, his face close to yours as you talk in hushed tones. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“What’s a hot brick?” you ask. 

“Huh?” 

“Hange. They-they asked me to bring them a hot brick. And when I said what, they were like…You do know what a hot brick is, right? And I got so embarrassed I kind of ran away and now I don’t know what to do.” 

Eren pauses as he registers, which is immediately followed by him smiling and leading you towards the back of the room. He picks up one of the charged batteries of the walkie talkies and places it flat in your palm. 

“A hot brick is a fully charged battery.” 

“Oh. Right. Th-thanks, Eren.” 

He puts his hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s only like your sixth day on a set. I didn’t even know this stuff until the end of my first movie. You-you aren’t behind, I promise.” 

“Okay. Thanks, I guess.” 

“I’ll help you. Before the rest of the cast gets here. Teach you all the terms and the secrets and stuff. You’ll be a natural.” 

“Really?” 

Eren gives you a nod, the smile on his face drawing your eyes to his dimples. 

“Thank you, Eren. Really.” 

“It’s no biggie. I’ll help you with anything you want. Just ask, okay?” 

“One of our most overwhelming questions that we received was what was it like filming with your cast? Your show - along with Jujutsu Kaisen - were really the first of their types to have such a big child actor presence on them.” 

You smile, pulling out your next three pictures. The first - it's a picture of you and Bertholdt, holding a World’s Greatest Dad mug in front of Levi, who has the most annoyed expression on his face. The second is of you and Historia - tying Reiner’s hair into two tiny ponytails. And the third - you and Marco, hugging each other so hard that your cheeks are pressed together. 

“It was the time of my life, really. I-I went to sleep every night with a smile on my face. They were genuinely such good friends of mine and this experience, these memories - they’ll always be special to me.”

“Do you have a favorite memory?” she asks. 

“Hm. I-we were all kind of immature at that age. I still am. Anything related to dirty jokes, especially when Erwin or Hange were involved is a surefire favorite. Sometimes I’ll remember them and still burst out laughing.” 

The teacher stands at the front of the makeshift classroom, the lazy energy enveloping the room. The warm haze of the summer has the ends of your hair sticking to your neck, the cold desk soothing your burning skin - preventing you from listening to whatever the physics teacher is saying about the solar system. 

You look to your right to find the same sentiment shared by everyone else too. Eren’s eyes are closed, his chin resting against his desk as the sweat rolls down the side of his face. Connie and Sasha are sharing a cold drink between them and Jean’s nearly turning pink as he fans Mikasa - the only one who looks relatively comfortable right now. 

You kick Eren’s leg.

“Hm? What’dya want, sweetheart?” he murmurs. 

“Jean is fanning Mika. You could do the same.” you groan. 

You feel a light breeze on your neck as you turn your head to see Eren, leaning against his arm as he fans you with the book. You take it from his hand, giving a head shake as you turn to your side, the two of you facing each other on the aisles. You instinctively place your feet on top of his, the two of you looking at each other. 

“I was kidding.” 

“I know. I don’t mind though. You’re looking a little hot.” 

You smile. 

“Just a little?” 

“Shut up. You know exactly what I think about how you look.” he says, rolling his eyes. 

You bite back your smile. 

“And that’s why the answer is Uranus.” the teacher says, metal pointer smacking against the board. 

You look up at Eren, the two of you so incredulous - from the heat, from being stuck in here for three hours, from how stupid of a word it is - that you both burst out laughing. And then get in trouble together. 

“What the hell was so funny that your teacher had to take you out of class?” Levi asks, arms crossed against his chest as he stares the two of you down, hours later. Hange and Erwin are trying to mimic his intimidated stance, but all you and Eren can do is laugh. 

“Um. You don’t want to know, Levi.” you respond. 

“It’s stupid. We’re sorry.” Eren states. 

“No. No, I want to know what was so funny that you laughed so hard you pissed one of your nicest teachers off.” 

You and Eren give each other a look. 

“It-it’s inappropriate. We’re really sorry, okay? We’ll go and apologize right away.” 

You and Eren stand up, linking arms together as you move to walk away. Except Levi’s moved in front of you two, an entirely different look on his face. 

“Do I need to have a talk with you two?” 

“What?” you ask. 

“A talk. About sex.” 

You and Eren turn your heads to each other, eyes wide. And you immediately start back tracking. 

“Levi. Ew- oh my god. What’s wrong with you? You’re so disgusting. And-and-and a pervert.” 

“Y/N. Do we have to have a talk? Are you being safe? Why are you guys making dirty jokes in class that you can’t tell me?” he repeats, eyes burning into yours. 

“No! Oh my god Levi! It’s not like that.” 

Levi looks back at Hange as you look over at Eren, who's pouting at you. 

“What, Eren?” 

“You don’t have to act like you’re soooo repulsed by it. That’s not what you sounded like-” 

You smack your hand over his mouth, cheeks burning. 

“Eren. Shut up. This is not the time or the place to be bringing THAT up.” 

He smirks, clearly delighted by how embarrassed you are, before pressing a kiss to your palm where you’re covering his mouth. He turns back to Levi, Hange, and Erwin. 

“Levi. We’re sorry. The teacher said Uranus and we thought it was funny.” 

“Uranus? What the fuck is so funny about Uranus?” Levi asks. 

You bite down on your cheeks to stop yourself from laughing in Levi’s face - his very angry face. Luckily enough for you, you're not the first one to break. And neither is Eren. 

It’s Hange. They’re smacking the back of Levi’s back as they ask him to say it again, the four of you - Erwin having joined you - as you all goad Levi on to say it again. And you laugh so hard that by the end of it, you’re on the floor - screaming for them to stop as Eren rubs circles into your back. 

Your chest twinges, as she hands the pictures back, and you tuck them back into the box. 

“The success after season one of Attack on Titan was pretty tremendous. You guys essentially became house names overnight. How did that feel, especially given your background? Nepotism runs deep and heavy in what we do and you seem to be one of our only outliers, here.” 

“It was horrible.” 

A shocked look spreads across her face. 

“I’m grateful for it all. Don’t get me wrong. But my life changed overnight. I-I went to school and I wasn’t treated as the same person anymore, by people I grew up with. There were people hanging around my school, waiting to take pictures of me, and-and anyone who had a chance of understanding me, they were all miles away. Filming.” 

“Did you feel that often? Comparing yourself to your co-stars?” 

“Originally, no. I-I was just happy to be there. But people, I mean. They talk. It-it kind of cemented that idea in my mind. I didn’t think it was weird that I was the only one who wasn’t filming until someone pointed it out. And-and someone always pointed these things out.” you respond. 

Colt snatches the phone from your hands, an irritated look on his face as he slides it into his pocket. After a six hour phone call with your new publicist and producers - Danny and Sareen - all you could do was aimlessly scroll through social media, their words swimming through your mind as you considered your options. 

“Quit reading that shit.” he says, making an effort to storm out of your room. He hangs by the door when he reaches it, his hands pressed against the frame. 

You shuffle under the blanket, pulling the soft fabric over your head. And a few seconds later, Colt’s pulling it off, expression a bit softer than before. 

“I-I just don’t get why you read it. What’s the point?” 

“I dunno.” 

He slides onto your bed, putting his cold legs next to yours under the blanket as you complain. 

“In my meeting with Danny and Sareen. They-they’re the new producer and the manager that reached out to me. They were saying all this stuff about how I can’t drop the ball anymore. How if I have people paying attention to me now, I-I have to keep it going.” 

Colt frowns. 

“I-I don’t know how this stuff works. What does that have to do with you reading a bunch of people saying rude stuff about you online?” 

“I told them I had time to decide, figure out what I want to do next. They said I should look online and reconsider. That if I want to be a triple threat, I-I should trust them.” 

“Do you?” 

“Yeah. They-they’re right. And they seem like the type to push me in the right direction, like Levi and Hange. I know they’ll do whatever to help me be the best. They want what I want.” 

Colt shrugs. And you know he doesn’t understand. 

“Let’s talk about season two. You made history this season - by being nominated for Best Actress in a Lead role among many others, becoming the most nominated actress in Institute history in one night. How did that feel? To-to do that so young?” 

“That-that was a win. It came after something really, really intense for me actually. I-I had all these feelings about what it was like to be famous. Building for months. And-and I got them put into words for me right before that happened. It was kind of like going from a really low low to the highest of highs. I-Intense is the word I’d use for it.” 

“Could you elaborate? On that?” 

You swallow hard. 

“Being famous is like living in a fishbowl. There’s-there’s glass in between you, the viewers, and me the person. And it may seem like you can see me, that you and I are the same but the glass is always between us. You enjoy on the other side, smack against the glass, sometimes even put your rods out to wring us out. We-we’re stuck there, that’s all. I realized that and found out I got nominated minutes after. But that’s this job for you. You’re at the bottom one minute and the top the next.” 

Her eyes flutter down to your tattoo but she doesn’t make a point to mention it. 

“Let’s discuss music now. Following winning Best Actress in a Drama Series, your impressive albums and tours started. You released your debut album, followed by lover girl, and then ribbons. This-this was an insane feat on your part - most artists take four to five years to produce albums at this pace. What motivated you during this time?” 

“My manager and my producer are pushing me at every step.” 

She smiles. 

“That’s some support system.” 

“That’s not the word I would use for it.” you respond, voice cutting.

She nods. 

“That’s right. Following your last performance, rumors were flying around that you had fired Danny and Sareen, your beloved manager and producer. Is this true?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why, if I may ask?” 

“I just told you. They were pushing me at every step.” 

You sigh, looking down at your hands, knotting your fingers together. One of the first things, you could come under fire for, is talking about them, so bluntly the way you are. 

“I looked up to them. My previous example from my mentors - Hange and Levi - was perfect. Almost too perfect. Because of them, because of how willing they were to support me, to defend me, I thought everyone was like that. I thought every person who was willing to be on my team was taking into account that I didn’t know much about the industry and pushing me in the right direction.”

“And that wasn’t true for them?” 

You take a deep breath. 

“I think they used that to their advantage. That I had a blind faith in them. That I wanted to please them, to please other people. I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal to put out three records, to do world tours that fast. I didn’t know that it was insane that I forgot to eat some days, I didn’t know that it was crazy that they were waking me up after two hours of sleep to put me to work. I-I thought that it was all part of the hustle.” 

“How do you feel about it now? Having fired them?” 

“I-I don’t regret what they’ve done for me. I-I am thankful to them. If anything, I’m more embarrassed of what they did make me do. Why I didn’t think twice on things they asked me to do, songs they convinced me to write.” 

She looks intrigued. She knows she’s getting into the good stuff. 

“Songs like?” 

“London Boy.” you respond. 

“That brings us to Ricky James. Are you saying that you didn’t write London Boy?” 

“No. No, I wrote it. But I was asked to write it the way I did. Write a love song about him.” 

“Because?” 

“Press. It’ll get people to talk. People get bored of the same thing over and over again after years.” you respond, repeating Danny and Sareen’s words, about Eren. 

You sigh. 

“It’s embarrassing to admit that I did that. Pretend just to get people to listen to my music. I-I am ashamed of it.” 

“It’s okay. We-we understand.” 

“I don’t think you do.” you whisper. 

You can feel the tears pricking your eyes. 

“I-I regret it. It’s a horrible thing to do. Especially when, when you have real love and you give it up to pretend. And it’s humiliating to pretend, to see people coo over you and a guy you barely even know. But when you’re famous, when people are telling you this is what you have to do, when this is what everyone does, it doesn’t seem like much to give up. I-I could feel the shame crawling in my skin when I look back at it now.” 

You swallow down the regret, thick in your throat. 

“How so?” 

“The night my album premiered, Ribbons. In the past, all my best friends, they-they’d come to listen with me. Throw me a party, press kisses to my cheeks. I turned them all down that year. It’s one thing to pretend to everyone you know. It’s another thing to do it to people who know better. Who know what you’re doing. I didn’t want to pretend in front of their faces. ” 

“Speaking of that night. Could you speak on this?”

She sides the picture, the one the paparazzi took of you on the curb before Lana got to you, towards you. You pick it up and look at it - at your eyes pinched shut and your drenched hair. 

“It’s simple. Ricky James started liking me. Asked me out. I said no. And then he locked me out in the rain.” 

You see the discomfort spread across her face as she slides the picture back. 

“I’m very sorry that happened to you. But you came out of it at the top, with your hit featuring Lana Price. Was she part of your support system during that time?” 

You smile. 

“Yeah.” 

“Can’t sleep?” 

You look up from the shelves you were currently pawing through to find Lana, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes, as she walks over to where you’re standing. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted water but I couldn't find the glasses.” 

She smiles as she wraps her hand around your wrist and leads you to the other side of the kitchen, taking a glass out of the correct cabinet and filling it up for you. You both lean against the counter, illuminated by the fridge of the kitchen light in the dark kitchen. 

And suddenly you’re crying again, wet, warm tears falling down the length of your face. At the thought of where you were four nights ago - running in the rain until she picked you up. You aggressively wipe the tears off of your cheeks as she catches on. And Lana, despite this being the second time having met you, is quick to pull you into her arms, the sweet strawberry smell of hers filling your nose. 

“You smell like candy.” 

“Don’t go biting me now.” 

You laugh, pressing against her arms harder as your tears fall onto her shoulder, trying to muffle your sobs by clamping your mouth shut. 

“Eren told me. About Colt.” 

She pulls back, wiping the tears off your cheek as she talks, softly. 

“You’ll get better at doing this. Protecting them. I can almost guarantee it.” she says, giving you a smile. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I did it. Which means you can too.” she responds, placing her glass of water in your hands. 

“It’s not that simple.” 

“Yes, it is. I’ll help you. Eren will help you.” she responds. 

“You’re already doing enough for me. Both of you. I’m intruding on your house right now.” 

You feel two hands, warm, around your neck, accompanied with a light squeeze. And then Eren, his voice still raspy from sleep, whispering in your ear. 

“Y/N.” 

“Yeah?” you whisper.

“Say that again and I’ll kill you. What’s mine is yours.” he responds, sliding his hands off of you as he pushes the fridge door closed and opens the light. 

Lana groans. 

“God. Would it kill you to put a shirt on, ugly?” 

“Would it kill you to brush your hair, you hag? Or maybe not wake me up in the middle of the night?” 

“That wasn’t even me. Y/N woke up first!” 

“It was your croaking that woke me up, Lana. You sound like a toad.” he mutters. 

You laugh, which breaks the two of them out of their argument, and has soft smiles spreading across both of their faces. 

“You guys are like siblings.” 

Lana comes over, hands cupping your face. 

“My sweet, sweet Y/N. Please don’t insult me.” 

And then Eren’s behind you, arms slithering around your waist, his voice warm in your ear again. 

“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me, princess.” 

“Quit flirting, Eren. You’re such a manwhore.” Lana says. 

“Princess was her nickname on set, dumbass. Because she’s a pop princess. I’m not flirting.” Eren responds, 

“Wow. So you’re too good to flirt with Y/N. You think you’re better than her?” 

“What?” Eren asks, leaning off of you. 

Catching on to what Lana’s trying to do, you turn around and look at Eren, trying to hide your coy expression. 

“Do you really think that, Eren?” 

His eyes go wide, hands on your shoulders. 

“No! No, oh my god! I don’t think I’m better than you. If anything, you-you’re better than me. I’ll flirt with you all you want. I swear!” 

You and Lana stare him down for a few seconds before you burst out laughing, a pink spreading across Eren’s cheek as he grumbles, an irritated look on his face as he shoves past Lana. 

“You guys are annoying. I’m going back to bed.” 

“Aw, Eren! Come back! Flirt with her!” Lana says, teasing him on. 

“Don’t stay down here too, Y/N. You’re going to lose brain cells.” he murmurs, shuffling away. 

You turn back to Lana, who's filling your glass with water again. She has a soft smile on her face, eyes warm as she hands you the water. 

“This type of stuff…it really helps.” she says. 

“This type of stuff?” 

“Good people. Who want to take care of you. Make you laugh after you cry, all that cheesy stuff.” 

You hum, leaning against the counter again. 

“Lean on Eren. Don’t get so jumbled up on what it means and how he’s feeling because he just wants to be there for you.” she says. 

“I’m trying to. I guess I just feel bad.” 

“I would have benefited a lot from someone like Eren, if I knew him when I was younger. When I was-” 

You quirk your head to the side, beckoning for her to elaborate. 

“For the longest time, I thought that this is just how guys were. Assholes. Dicks. That it was a matter of finding one who was relatively nice, good enough. That real guys, they’re never like this.” 

You frown. 

“My dad was an asshole. Ricky was horrible. My brother was the only person who was nice to me but we just- we lived so far and with the jobs and stuff we grew apart. And when I had to deal with things on my own, things I was too young to even understand, I-” 

She pauses. Swallowing hard. 

“I would have benefitted from knowing Eren earlier. Guys like Eren, like your friends Jean and Marco. Eren’s helped with a lot of my shame and made me better. I-I owe a lot to him really. I know we said what we said earlier, but he is like my brother. He’s always protected me. Overwhelmed me with kindness under insults.” 

You smile. 

“He’s a good guy. Always has been.” you whisper, heart warm at Eren being Eren, still. 

“So let him. Overwhelm you with kindness. Be there for you. You have no reason to be ashamed. And every reason to be scared. Quit feeling bad and just let him. He’s the person you’re comfortable with here.” 

You smile, leaning your head against your shoulder. 

“Dunno. You’re pretty cool too.” 

She laughs. 

“Yeah?” 

“You know what would be cool. If you guys went to bed.” Eren says, shuffling into the room again. 

Lana groans. 

“All men have is the audacity. You just ruined a really sweet moment.” 

You smile at Eren, which he returns. 

“Can Lana sleep with us?” 

He stops smiling. 

“Huh?” 

“You sleep on the left and she can sleep on my right!” you respond. 

“Y/N.” he whines. 

“Please? It’ll be like a sleepover. I can’t have bad things on my mind before I go to bed if you’re both there.”

“No thanks, sweet girl.” Lana says. 

“I’m trying to lean on you guys! Give in.” you respond. 

They both groan as they agree, the three of you shuffling towards Eren’s room. You settle straight into the middle of Eren’s bed, as they both shuffle around - loudly talking in Eren’s bathroom. 

“Ew, Eren. Why did you just kiss my cheek? I’m not Y/N, idiot.” 

“That was for you, Lana Bear!”  

“What pervert spirit possessed you at this time of night? And you know how I feel about that nickname after what Hyla said to me at dinner, so shut up.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Lana. And I just wanted you to know I love you too. You’re like a sister to me.” 

You hear Lana smack Eren. 

“Were you eavesdropping? Asshole. I was lying. None of it was true.” 

“Okay, Lana. Sure thing.” 

“I’m serious!” 

You shake the memory from your head, as you pull out the picture for her to see, one of you and Lana that Eren took. You’re both on his couch, your hands tangled in the bowl of popcorn - glaring at the camera. Eren was blocking your rewatch of High School Musical. 

“Speaking of support systems, one of your most talked about relationships is that with your co-star, Historia Reiss. After seemingly dropping songs about each other and making up and breaking up, there’s a lot of speculation on what happened. Anything to share?” 

You smile. 

“Historia and I are friends. And friendship is complicated. You just got to witness ours first hand, that’s all. Everything between us - it’s water under the bridge, if there ever even was one. We’re just really similar and we butt heads. We still love each other at the end of the day.” you say. 

“Well that’s lovely to hear. How about Ryomen Sukuna? The two of you are all anyone talks about these days, especially after how cozy you two were on the red carpet.” 

You snort. And pull out the polaroid - of you and Sukuna, of him kissing your cheek at the awards show. And in the background, Nobara and Maki are pretending to gag. 

“We’re not dating. And we won’t ever. We’re just really good friends.” 

“Friends kiss each other on red carpets?” 

“These ones do!” you respond, smiling. 

She laughs, nodding as you tuck the picture back into the box. She swallows hard, rubbing her hands against her palms as she asks her next question. The one you know she’s been itching to ask. 

“Look. We’ve talked about your career at great length - all but caught up to the night that you became a triple threat. But there’s one person that we haven’t discussed yet, maybe brought up in passing but haven’t broached. Who I think is relevant.” 

You smile. 

“Eren.” 

“Eren.” she repeats, nodding. 

“What do you want to know?” 

“I mean, everything. How did it feel to know that you finally got him back for what he did to you, the way he dragged your career through the mud. I mean you basically had him hanging his head between his knees by the end of the night, after you ended him. Throwing his relationship with his brother in his face, the songs you wrote, I mean- that. That has to be liberating. To do all that and come out as a triple threat at the end.” 

You can feel the tears spilling down your cheeks as you take your last picture out, one of you and Eren at Levi and Hange’s vow renewal. You’re leaning your head on your palm, looking up at him as he smiles down at you. And you swallow the hiccups as you respond. 

“In what world did that night seem liberating to you? Making a joke out of the love I shared with someone? I sobbed my way through the entire last song. Didn’t even make a speech. In what world was that liberating?” 

You see the shock spread across her face. 

“I just thought-” 

You smile. 

“Since we were fifteen, all people have done is speculate about me and Eren. Are we dating? Are we in love? Are we real? Are we faking? And therein lies the issue, because I think the people, the fame - it came between something really real.” 

She stops, nodding. 

“Something real? Are you telling us that Eren Jaeger lied in his interview?” 

“I don’t know his truth. Maybe it was fake for him. But I was there too.....And it was real for me.” 

You look down at the picture, fiddling with it in your hands. 

“I-I’d like to sing my song, if I could. I-I think it’ll help explain how I feel.” you say. 

She nods, gesturing to the piano. You sit at the seat, sneaking out the vinyl sleeve from the inside of the bench and pull it out. The album cover is a picture of the cast from season one of Attack on Titan. You and Eren are front and center, smiling at each other instead of the camera, everyone’s heads going in different directions. Jean and Mikasa are looking at something to the left and pointing, Ymir is smiling at Historia who is disgusted at Connie and Sasha plugging their fingers in each other's nose. 

“This is my fourth and final studio album, called The Lucky One. And this is my first song on the record, called happiness.” 

You brace your hands against the keys, playing the tune into the air as you sing. The feeling sits deep in your chest. Your realization was simple. That Historia’s statement - that your Eren wasn’t the Eren that existed anymore - is true. You just chose to focus on the wrong part of it.

You loved Eren and he made you happy. He burned you down, hurt you in the way that only he knew how, but loved you, made you whole in only the way he could too. There's a deep hurt. 

But there was great happiness. It’s why you forgive him. Why you choose to move forward, and hold whatever love you did have close. 

Past the blood and bruise Past the curses and cries Beyond the terror in the nightfall Haunted by the look in my eyes That would've loved you for a lifetime Leave it all behind And there is happiness

There is happiness In our history Across our great divide There is a glorious sunrise Dappled with the flickers of light From the dress I wore at midnight Leave it all behind Oh, leave it all behind Leave it all behind And there is happiness 

You wipe the tears off of your face as you turn back towards the camera. 

“Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you.” 

You stifle your sob, the tears pouring out of your eyes. You glance back at the picture of you and Eren at the piano. And the memory sticks out in your head. 

“I love you.” 

You look over at Eren, his green eyes gentle and heartfelt as he takes your hand and squeezes three times. 

“Eren, you-” 

“I love you. The three squeezes - that’s what they’ve always meant.” he whispers, his hand warm in yours as me mimics the motion you’ve done a hundred times. 

You swallow hard. 

“Eren Jaeger is the love in the room. He gives people a chance, even when he shouldn’t. He’s supportive, so incessantly adamant about his belief in you, that you believe in yourself too. He loves hard, he loves soft, and everything in between.” 

“He’s the best person I’ve ever met. Until he wasn’t anymore. And I-I don’t know what they did to him. If they pumped him full of drugs, if they told him something about this industry that I’m unaware of, if-if it was something about me. But this Eren Jaeger, so full of love that it was almost spilling out of him, doesn’t exist anymore. He was real. But he’s not like this anymore.” 

You swallow hard. 

“This career, the way we live in our fishbowl. It-it’s so cruel. You all enjoyed watching me ruin him. You all enjoyed watching him ruin me. You liked that we spent our entire lives loving each other and maybe loved it even more when it came crashing down. It was interesting to speculate on, to talk about. You saw the softest love in us. In him. And then gutted it out of him like he was a fish.” 

You take a deep breath. 

“And with that, I quit.” 

The interviewer sits up, hand on your shoulder at the piano bench as the shock spreads across her face. 

“You’re quitting music?” 

“I’m quitting all of it. I don’t want anything to do with this. You already got to have him. You don’t get to have me too.” 

You give her a smile as you turn to the camera, before walking straight off of the set and into the waiting room outside. 

--

You sit on the bench outside, swinging your legs as you watch the people around you move. They’re all rushing to air the tape, which you expected. And making flash copies of the vinyl you gifted them, getting ready to post them online as the interview goes out. 

Figures. 

The only person who comes to your side is Leila. 

“HI.” you say, cheeks burning from the tears and your eyes swollen. 

She hands you the blue box, the one they hid behind the couch at the start, and shakes her head. 

You give her a strange look as you open up the box, filled with a large stack of letters. You reach for the one at the top, opening the pages to find Eren’s messy handwriting scribbled on the pages. 

Dear The Institute (I don’t know if you’re a person or like someone specific I’m just writing a letter to the address Levi gave me),  My name is Eren Jaeger. I’m fifteen, the son of Carla and Grisha Jaeger. I’m going to be in a new show called Attack on TItan. But that’s not why I’m writing to you. I want to tell you about my friend, my best friend.  Her name is Y/N L/N. She’s going to be my co-star in the show. You haven’t heard of her yet but I promise you won’t forget her. And I’ll make sure you won’t. Because I’m telling you now, she’s the next big thing. And you’re going to make her a triple threat.  I’ll spend this entire time convincing you until you do. But she’s amazing. It won’t take much.  You will hear from me again, Eren Jaeger

You pull another page out, opening up the crinkled pages, the block sitting in your throat. 

Hi (Can you tell me your name? It feels weird to call you The Institute. Like that’s almost dystopian.)  It’s Eren, again. Y/N is going to perform her song, New Year’s Day at the award show tomorrow. It’s her first one and it’s perfect. Like genuinely, who the fuck makes a hit song on the first try?  And even after making something great, she’s trying to be better. She doesn’t like to play the piano, but she tries anyway. Every time I try to teach her, she’s hanging on the ends of my words, trying over and over again until she’s satisfied.  She works very hard. I’m asking you to not overlook that.  See you soon (and when’s your birthday? We’re basically becoming friends at this point.)  Eren Jaeger 

You flip the pages, again. 

Good morning/good afternoon/good evening (covering all my bases, I don’t know where you live),  Now, don’t start discrediting what I’m saying as biased because of the rumors.  Granted, they are true. I adore Y/N with my entire heart. I love her with every fiber of my being. But that doesn’t discredit any of her work or how I’m vouching for it. Because she truly is amazing.  Her new movie is coming out on Saturday and her album on Sunday. Quit being assholes and give her this award already.  She deserves it. Really.  My deepest apologies (for calling you assholes and for bothering you all these years),  Eren Jaeger 

And again. 

Hi,  We broke up. And we don’t really talk much anymore. But the fact that I’m still writing this to you should be proof enough for you to at least CONSIDER her as a triple threat.  Like seriously. We aren’t even dating and I’m still raving about her work (because it’s that good).  Her new movie comes out soon.  She is all things great. The sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between. The light in the dark, every cheesy thing you can think of.  Art is a reflection of who you are. And her art has always been the best.  For the love of god, give in already,  Eren Jaeger. 

And the last one, despite being the shortest one, is what hurts the most. Dated for the day after the awards show, what you assume is barely hours after Eren was sobbing during your performance. 

Dear The Institute,  Thank you for listening. And for making her dream come true.  Best,  Eren Jaeger 

You hold the letters close to your chest as you cry into the box, nearly twenty or thirty pages you still haven’t read. Of Eren, his messy handwriting, and his endless love for you. 

His words ring in your mind. They don’t make any sense and none of it does. You didn’t have any faith in me like I did you. Your parents weren’t famous and you had no ins. I have to do something to offset that if you’re my co-star.  I’m not lying to you when I’m trying to make you feel better or tell you that you’re great. Maybe Hange and Levi are, but I’m not. I’ve always thought you were great.

You sit up from the bench and walk out the door with the box in your hand. You find Falco and Colt standing on the curb against the car, soft smiles on their faces as they push you into the car. And take you where no one gets to touch you, suck you dry, push you too hard, take what you love most away from you ever again. 

Your most haunted memory sticks out to you as you drive away. As you feel the physical weight of this life be left behind on that piano and let him go. 

The waves continue to crash, Eren’s hand raking through your fingers as you both look up at the moon, shining above you. 

“Y/N.” 

“Yes, Eren?” 

“Have you ever been skinny dipping?” 

You curl your nose in disgust. 

“When would I have time to go skinny dipping, Eren? And if I did, you would have known.” 

Eren turns on his side, a bright smile on his face. 

“Let’s do it.” 

“What?” 

“Skinny dipping.” 

“Eren. Quit being ridiculous.” 

He rolls his eyes. 

“I just turned twenty-two. Like fifteen minutes ago. I am the pinnacle of seriousness.” he states, putting on his best Erwin-like tone. 

“Eren.” 

“Come on. It’s like a quintessential experience. We don’t get those - prom, memorizing your crush’s classes and waiting outside them, going on a date in the city. Let’s do this one.” 

You nod as you both trudge to the shore, hands locked together as you quickly lose your clothes and run into the water, biting cold against your skin. The Seattle cold does nothing to help, the two of you shivering in each other's arms as you hold each other in the water. 

“Ttt-this was a sss-stuppid idea, Er-rren.” you shiver, glaring at him. 

“It-it’s ff-un.” he responds. 

You groan as he pulls you into his arms, your face flat against his neck as you guys hug in the water. You can feel his heart beating under your ear and you pull back to find him smiling at you, his hair matted against his forehead. You reach forward and push it out of his eyes. 

“Thanks.” he whispers. 

You nod, giving him a smile. He’s all but grinning at you, the smile on his face so big that it’s throwing you off. 

“Eren. What?” 

“Nothing. You.” 

“Me?” 

He nods, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Just trying to remember this moment. You and me - being real people.” 

“You sound like a crazy person.” 

“You’re not a pop star. I’m not an actor. You’re Y/N and I’m Eren. We’re skinny dipping. And I love you.” 

You turn your head to the side, confused by his sentiment all together. 

It makes sense to you now. 

--

Almost a year and a half later and you’re nervously running your sweaty hands against the pleats of your black dress. You half debate walking in, even though you flew all this way. If there’s still a place for you in this townhouse, even though you all but grew up here. 

You can hear a loud chatter on the inside, voices talking over each other as you think hard, every regret of yours running through your mind. You wonder if they replaced you already, if your doppelganger is walking around in there.

As always, this is what brings you back to them. All of them. And you hate it. Because as always, they are the only ones who understand. They are the only ones who feel it too. 

You’re fish. On the same side of the glass, separated from everyone else. 

You supposed that’s what it does to people. That being fish, to some extent, was something everyone related to - not just you and Eren, Mikasa and Jean, everyone else who was famous.

This tears down things that were a resolute fact - bringing you to places you never thought you’d return, to people you didn’t think you would ever need anymore. A fishbowl - separating you from everyone else on one side of the glass, with everyone else - normal and whole - on the outside.

Fame can do that to people. But grief can too.

The news clip rings in your head. 

. 

. 

. 

Marco Bodt, best known for his time as a recurring character in the drama series Attack on Titan, died on Friday, five days short of his twenty-fourth birthday. 

You brace yourself and knock on the door of the townhouse. Eren’s the one who answers.

--

next part linked here

an: lol. so does "passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long" still apply if he's dead....thoughts? also the lucky one tracklist

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlo l@mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi

[pitchsidestories]

10 Things I Hate About You (2) II Alexia Putellas x Reader

Can be read before part 1

part 1 I part 3 I masterlist I word count: 2255

2017

Your first day as a player for FC Barcelona was about to start. With a deep sigh you entered the facilities. Overwhelmed by the amount of new impressions, you didn’t realize that another person stepped to you. You flinched in surprise when you heard a female voice say; “Hola! Are you new here too?“

“Actually, I am.“, you answered, turning around to the other young woman. She was blonde and wore a big smile on her face. She held out her hand for you to shake it; “Oh good. Hi, I’m Mapi.“ “Nice to meet you, Mapi.“, you smiled, taking her hand and introduced yourself. “Pleasure.“, she grinned. For some reason, her presence calmed you a bit. “Ready to meet the rest? They do have quite the talented squad.“, you asked. Mapi just shrugged; “That’s what I heard. But we wouldn’t be here if the coaches didn’t think we could keep up with them.“ “True.“, you had to admit, your nervousness almost gone.

“Hi, guys. You must be new here.“, another player chimed in who introduced herself as Aitana. The team mate next to her, named Alexia just rolled her eyes; “And already late.“ You gave her an apologetic smile; “Yeah, we got a bit lost at first.“ “But we’re here now.“, Mapi added, gesturing towards the both of you. You nodded; “And ready to play.“ But your enthusiasm was not well received. You could feel Alexias scrutinizing glance on you; “We’ll see about that.“

Another player, Leila, gave you an encouraging wink; “Ale is just worried one of you will steal her place.“ “That’s not going to happen.“, Alexia shook her head with determination. Mapi casually ignored her new team mates bad mood; “Yeah, I’m a defender so no worries, Ale.“ “I wasn’t worried to begin with.“, she snapped and turned around to make her way towards the pitch. You watched her with raised eyebrows, leaning over to Leila; “Is she always like that?“ “She’s different when you get to know her. Trust me.“, she assured you, laughing. Together, you followed her for your first training session with Barcelona. “I hope you’re right.“ Leila smiled confidently; “Trust me, I am.“

During the training session you could feel Alexias eyes staring intensely at you and you asked yourself why she did that. Was it true what Leila said earlier? That she was worried you could take away her position she already built for herself at this club. Anyway, you could not think about this observation for too long as you needed to concentrate on what the coach wanted to see from you and your teammates. Becoming a part of this special team was a childhood dream come true for you and you wanted to show him that he should consider you as part of the starting line. No matter what a certain number 11 thought of that.

After the training the coach wanted to speak to you and Alexia.” You too..”, he started. Alert to the tone in his voice you interrupted him:” Yes?” “What is it?”, the brunette woman added impatient. The older man cleared his throat: “I want you two to play together.” “Uhm you do.”, unsure you looked to the other midfielder. This was too much for Alexia, she didn’t like his idea at all: ”What?” “Yes but.”, the coach tried to intervene. Expectantly you waited for him to continue: “But?” “No, whatever it’s, it’s a no from me.”, the brunette shook her head. You clicked your tongue at her: “Wait, let him explain his idea first.” “Shut up. You just want playtime on my position.”, she hissed. Calmly you admitted :”Of course I want to play too.” “Then get in line.”, Alexia grumpily demanded. Determined you answered: “No.” “No?!”, the midfielder repeated in disbelief.

“Oh please, you’re not the only one with ambition and to whom this club means a lot. Besides you’re only a year older than me so stop being so full of yourself.”, you scolded her. Everyone knew her history by now, she was the young shining star of this team, and you tried not to be blinded by that fact, besides she only showed you her ugly side so far. Much later you’d realize how similar your two ways have been and what a wonder it was that your paths hadn’t crossed earlier. Suspiciously Alexia threw an eyebrow up: “If this club means so much to you then why did you join only now.” “I had some difficult injuries in the past but now I’m here.”, you swallowed hard. Drily the brunette commented without showing any empathy in her eyes:“I’ll feel bad for you later.”

You let out a huff and cocked your head; “Oh please, I don’t need your pity, princessa.“ “Call me princessa one more time.“, Alexia pressed through gritted teeth. But you didn’t let yourself be intimated by her. “Or what? Will your fake eyelashes fall off, princessa?“, you continued. Slowly, she nodded. Her smile was more a teeth-baring than an actual smile; “You think you can make fun of me? I’ll show you on the pitch, little one.“ “I’ll be ready.“, you answered and completely ignored your coach who looked at the two of you in exasperation; “You’re supposed to work together, not against each other!“ “Say goodbye to your career then.“, Alexia replied unimpressed. You crossed your arms in front of your chest; “Oh, I don’t give up that easily.“

“Girls!“, your coach finally called for attention. You looked at him surprised; “Yes?“ “You either play together or none of you plays!“, he threatened, his tone did not allow any discussion. Though, Alexia tried it anyway; “Wait. Are you serious? You can’t do that to me. I’ve been playing here for a long time already!“ “You heard me.“, he ended the conversation and left. Alexia barely looked at you as she followed him out of the room.

Sighing, you almost ran into Leila on your wait. “Do you want to get dinner with some of us tonight?“, she asked full of excitement. You needed a moment to understand the questions, your thoughts were still spinning around the conversation from a moment ago. “Oh. I’d love to but I can’t. My little sister arrived today.“, you shrugged apologetically, giving her a half-smile. Leilas face turned serious; “Oh. I understand if you want to show her around and stuff. But you can also bring her if you want.“ “Really? I’ll ask her.“ You pulled out your phone, texting your younger sister who replied within seconds with several Partying Face-Emojis. “We’re both coming.“, you told Leila with a smile. She clapped her hands happily; “Amazing. I’ll text you the address.“ “Great, I can’t wait.“

You and your sister were some of the first people at the restaurant. You were happy to see Mapi when she arrived only a few minutes after you. “Who’s that?“, she asked when she sat down. Her gaze fixed on your sister. “Oh, that’s my younger sister.“, you explained, gesturing towards her. She smiled at Mapi with big doe eyes “Hi, you must be Mapi.“ They shook hand across the table. “I am.“, Mapi confirmed, blood rushing into her cheeks. “Pleasure to meet you.“

“Marta, do you know if Ale is coming with Alba aswell?”, Leila asked her teammate casually. The older defender nodded smiling:“Yes, I think she said they wanted to come.” “Oh god, no.”, you muttered as you realized the notorious midfielder was coming too tonight. Confused Marta looked at you: ”What?” “Alexia hates me.”, you informed her. Amused Leila asked: “After one day here?” “Yes.” “That must be a new record.”, the defender laughed. From her you wanted to know: “Does she hate every midfielder who comes new to the team?” “No, she doesn’t.”, Leila answered seriously. Truthfully Marta added, not without a wink: “Alexia only hates the ones who she thinks will be her biggest competition.” “Oh really?”, you said not completely convinced by what they said. This could not be only the reason for Alexias’s hatred, right?

Playfully Aitana pouted: “I take that as offense.” “You’re still young Aitana your time to shine will come.”, Leila promised the young midfielder.  In a cheerful tone Marta told her:“ Don’t worry. They’re probably just too similar. That’s all.” “The similarities are creepy.”, Aitana admitted smirking. “I don’t see any similarity.”, you interjected. This did not stop the young midfielder from starting to count the things she thought you had in common with Alexia: ”The position, the younger sisters, the clear ambition to be the best, the early death of a parent.”  “Still that does not make us the same person.”, you remarked. A small grin was on Aitana’s lips as she concluded:  “Not the same but very similar.”

Suddenly the person they were talking about was standing at the end of the table and was throwing an apologetic smile at her teammates: „Sorry for being late but Albs could not decide what dress she wanted to wear.” Alba was poking the brunette with her elbow slightly into the side for her comment.  “As long as you’re here now.”, Mariona waved it off. “Exactly sit down, you’re lucky we started with drinks first.”, Patri told the arriving sisters. Alexia’s smile froze as she spotted you:”Drinks are the most important part of the evening anyway. Wait.. who invited her?” You could feel the temperature dropping around the table.

“Me.”, Leila answered who was in a good mood besides her teammates cool tone. She kept asking:“Why would you do that?” “Because she’s new and a restaurant visit is a great way to get to know the other teammates.”, the older woman replied nonchalantly.Alexia took a deep breath to collect herself and sighed; “Right. I’ll need more drinks than that if I have to spend the evening with her around.“ Her team mates didn’t disappoint. As the evening went on, they made sure Alexia always had a drink in hand. The later it got, the more relaxed she seemed to be. Mostly thanks to the alcohol.

Around midnight, Mapi leaned over to her, pointing a finger; “Oh, I know why you behave like that!“ “Like what?“, Alexia asked, scrunching her nose. “In front of her. You have a crush.“, Mapi explained, nodding into your direction. Alexia let out a high pitched laugh; “Don’t be ridiculous.“ “I’m not. You are!“, Mapi grinned back at her. With a smile, Alexia shook her head, eyes fixed on her team mate; “You know, Mapi, you’re pretty funny. I’d like you if you weren’t friends with her.“ The defender raised an eyebrow; “Excuse me? I’m very serious. And we’re both just new to the team.“ “But you already spend a lot of time with her, so… looks like we can never be friends.“, Alexia replied, taking a long sip of her red wine. Alba joined them, clinking her glass to Mapis; “Ale’s just joking. She already likes you, Mapi.“ “I think she does. I like her too.“, the defender answered, amused. “But you like her as well.“, Alexia complained, her gaze flicking to you for half a second. Her new teammate nodded slowly; “I do. She’s my friend too.“

There was silence for a while before a smirk appeared on Alexias lips again; “Speaking of crushes, you and her sister…“ Wide-eyed, Mapi cut her off immediately; “No. Absolutely not. Forget about it. You say you don’t have a crush, I say I don’t have a crush. We leave it at that.“ “But you’re clearly-“ “No.“,Mapi curtly but with certainty.“Okay, got it.“, the midfielder finally gave in. “Thank you.“ “You’re welcome.“, she laughed. “Do you want another drink?“, Mapi offered. “Yes.“ “Here you go.“ Alexia eyed the drink that Mapi had pushed in front of her with a sceptical expression; “Thanks.“

A few weeks after this first team event, things between you and Alexia hadn’t changed much. The loss in your first game of the season was not exactly helpful either.

Once again, the coach called you two back into his office. “What did you two think you were doing?“, he yelled. Taken aback by the sudden outburst, you plainly answered; “Playing?“ “That doesn’t work if you two keep ignoring each other!“ Alexia gestured towards you, clearly offended; “She’s just not fast enough.“ “I don’t want to hear anything! I never say this to any of my players but this time it is true. You two lost us this game!“ Intimidated you looked up; “We’ll win the next one. Promise.“ Decidedly, he shook his head; “No. I don’t want any empty promises. I want actions. You two will come early before training tomorrow and work on this!“

Startled Mapi looked at Alexia who stormed into the changing room:“Ale, what did the coach want from you two?” “He’s an idiot.”, the midfielder mumbled grumpily. The blonde tried to soothe the nerves of the brunette: “Ale.” “We have extra training together. Tomorrow.”, Alexia groaned exasperated.

Cautiously Mapi answered:” Actually, that sounds like a good idea.” “Oh, shut up, Mapi.”, the midfielder hissed. But this did not intimidate the defender at all:” You can pretend to hate her all you want but I saw how you look at her when she’s not watching.” “Have you ever considered getting yourself some glasses? Because you’re obviously not seeing right.”, the brunette sneered. Amused the blonde rolled her eyes:” Sure, Ale.” “Keep your mouth closed, Mapi. You might find it funny, but I can’t deal with her.”

“You’ll have to though she’s part of the team now.”, Mapi remarked with a knowing smile.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Mockingjay - Part 4

Hi guys!

This is the fourth part of Mockinjay, a.k.a the crossover between The Hunger Games and the Woso world x)

Please enjoy this one ♥

Chapter Before

Ona had trouble sleeping that night, after her talk with Alexia. She concentrated on Lucy to fall asleep, but her dreams were full of her family struggling in different ways with the Capitol because of her.

“You look awful” Tony comments when she comes into the diner room to eat her breakfast.

“Shut up your fucking mouth” Ona groans in answer.

He seems surprised by her answer and frowns, but Ona doesn’t even look at him. She hadn’t forgotten who told Alexia that she was leaving at night. Ona considers herself like a chill girl, but she doesn’t tolerate cheating or betrayal in any way.

Focused on her choice of meal, she doesn’t see Alexia and Leila’s exchange of gaze, or Alexia’s smile. She finally chooses a toast with eggs and bacon, which she almost doesn’t touch. She doesn’t talk either and when it’s time to get ready to go to training, Alexia takes her by her arm to talk to her without eavesdroppers.

“What the matter, Ona?” Alexia asks softly.

Ona raises an eyebrow, but finally sighs and lets herself go against the table when she realizes that Alexia’s question is genuine.

“I had an awful night” she explains. “I had nightmares all night long.”

“About what?”

“My family, getting hurt because of me.”

Alexia sighs softly at her turn, looking at Ona while answering. She feels a little guilty to be the reason for Ona’s nightmares, but she’s glad that Ona admits to her what is bothering her.

“Nothing will happen to them, Ona, I swear. I won’t tell anyone; I even haven’t told Leila.”

“You, maybe. What about Tony?”

Alexia bites her lips thoughtfully.

“I think… Maybe he was upset that you talked with someone else. But I don’t think he will put you in danger.”

Ona stays silent for some seconds, looking deep in Alexia’s eyes. The blonde seems to believe in her words, and she never lied to Ona in any way. She’s probably telling the truth.

“Can you make me a promise?”

“What kind?” Alexia answers cautiously.

“Can you promise me to keep an eye on them? Even… You know. After.”

“Yeah. I can promise that.”

Ona nods softly, suddenly very interested by looking at her shoes. She heard Alexia talking about the Capitol and if something bad happens during the Games, she doesn’t want her family to suffer.

“Will you keep seeing Lucy?”

Ona sighs again and scratches the back of her neck.

“We can’t, obviously. But… I’ll have to tell her and… I don’t know. I’ll miss it. She’s really nice and it was pleasant to have something else to think about.”

“Are you in love?”

Ona arches an eyebrow and looks at Alexia. They never talked about love before, or at least they never pronounce that word. Alexia talked to Ona about her girlfriend and Ona talked about Jana, but that’s all.

“I don’t know. I really like her. She’s… special, you know?”

Alexia nods softly, seeming to think quickly about what Ona just said. The brunette doesn’t know what Alexia is thinking about, so she just waits, looking at the blonde expectantly.

“You’re not allowed to see her at night, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it during the day” Alexia points out.

“And where are we supposed to go?”

Ona isn’t able to hide her skepticism. It seems to amuse Alexia though and the blonde shrugs.

“There are some unused rooms around here. I’ll let you know which ones. But now I have to take you to training, we are going to be late.”

********

Lucy realizes that Ona is bothered by something as soon as the younger girl enters the room. They share a look like they usually do, but Ona doesn’t go to sit next to Tony. She goes next to Teagan, the young boy from the 11 and her partner, a girl around Ona’s age.

Today was weapon training and they had to choose some days before which one they preferred. Ona chose the crossbow and the archery; she knows that she doesn’t stand a chance in physical fights.

At some point during training, Ona feels someone softly touching her fingers with their own. The sparkles she feels could have been enough to tell her who it is. She turns around to see Lucy who is looking straight in front of her.

“What happened?”

Ona doesn’t ask how Lucy knows that there is something strange. They know each other pretty well now, even if they haven’t known each other for very long. But they got along pretty quickly and pretty well.

“Alexia knows about our night meetings. Tony saw me leaving one time.”

Ona isn’t looking at Lucy, but she still can see her face drop from the corner of her eyes. Still not looking at her, Ona keeps talking, trying to move her lips as little as possible.

“She won’t say anything to anyone. But I have to be careful because of Tony.”

Lucy nods softly, her jaw seeming particularly tense. People around them aren’t looking at Lucy and Ona, and Tony is in another part of the room, training with his sword.

“So, no more meeting” Lucy whispers.

“We still can see each other during the day… If you want to, of course.”

Ona isn’t sure about herself when she says that, after all, maybe Lucy only sees those encounters just to pass time and have fun. It maybe doesn’t have the same importance for her as for Ona.

“Of course. Find me in the room three doors after the garden, after dinner. We will still have some time together.”

Ona nods and feels like she can breathe better again. Lucy still wants to meet you and she’s even the one who proposed something else. The older girl rubs Ona’s fingers with theirs one more time before going into action by taking a sword and begins some exercises.

********

After dinner, Ona managed to avoid Tony and go out of their quarter to find Lucy. It’s a little bit more chill to walk on the floors, knowing she isn’t breaking any rules. She just hopes not to see anyone. Her walk to the room is shorter than the one Lucy has to take though.

“Lucy?” Ona calls softly when she enters the room.

The neon light that illuminates the room is flashing creepily, far away from the stars they used to observe. The room seems cold, white walls, some empty boxes scattered around the room. Ona even feels cold here.

She wraps her arms around herself, leaning against the wall. Lucy isn’t here but on the other hand they haven’t said a special hour, just after dinner. Maybe Lucy eats a little later than her.

She’s lost in her thoughts when the door opens again, and Ona is relieved to see that it’s in fact Lucy. Lucy smiles at Ona and without really thinking, she goes for a hug. She realizes only when she feels Ona freeze in her arms what she just does.

“Oh sorry” she mumbles, trying to get out of the hug. “I just –“

“Don’t.”

Ona is whispering too and now that the surprise is passed, she melts in Lucy’s arms, passing theirs around the girl’s waist. Ona can feel Lucy relax too, her body getting much less tense.

“I’m just relieved that we still can meet each other” Lucy finally says.

“Me too”

Ona could stay like this forever. She never felt so comfortable and safe that right now. Lucy seems to think the same, because she’s not letting Ona go either.

“So, what happened with Tony?” Lucy asks after some time like this.

Ona sighs softly, detaching her face from Lucy’s shoulder. She is still very mad at Tony; she knows that she’s lucky that Alexia is on her side. The blonde literally saved her ass yesterday, a lot of people would have told the Capitol.

“I don’t know. He told Alexia yesterday that he saw me leaving the quarter. She was waiting for me when I went back to my room yesterday. She was very mad at first, but we talked again this morning, and she promised not to tell anybody else. And that she will take care of.”

“That guy is so weird, honestly” Lucy groans.

She lets Ona go and Ona almost immediately feels cold again. But she doesn’t say anything, looking at Lucy pacing the room.

“You told me that it was obvious that Delcan has a thing on me, but Tony is something else. He’s acting like he has all the rights on you.”

“Alexia told me to be careful with him” Ona admits. “She thinks he might spy on me.”

Lucy groans once again and keeps walking around the room, seeming to think in a very quick way. She’s frowning and seems a little bit upset too. It doesn’t look good from Ona’s perspective.

“I told Alexia I left to see you, but Tony doesn’t know” Ona says again, biting her lips. “She won’t say a thing about you either. But if it’s too much for you… We still can stop seeing each other like this.”

Her voice is hardly louder than a whisper at the end of his sentence. She doesn’t want this, of course. But she has to respect Lucy’s opinion. Lucy stops suddenly, raising her gaze at Ona.

“Do you want to stop?”

Ona shakes her head to say no. She doesn’t trust her voice to say that.

“I don’t either. Is this why you didn’t sleep well?”

“No I… I had nightmares.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ona bites her lip once again, looking at Lucy thoughtfully. The older girl seems to be genuinely interested in Ona’s answer.

“No, I had nightmares about my family and the Capitol” Ona finally answers. “Alexia said the night before that the Capitol could go after them even after my death. It kind of stuck in my head.”

“I’m sorry” Lucy sighs softly. “I wish I could protect you from all of this”

Ona is surprised by Lucy’s sentence, looking once again deeply into her (beautiful) green eyes. But once again, she can read into it that Lucy is telling the truth. The idea of running away with Lucy is more than tempting, but she knows what could happen if they do that.

“You already make my life way more comfy and easier here. I couldn’t ask for more”

She has red cheeks when Lucy smiles happily at her. She has such a beautiful smile too, Ona thinks.

Ona feels her heart racing when Lucy, who stopped walking just to be standing in front of her again, slowly raises her hand to put back one of Ona’s locks behind her ear. Ona can feel her skin burning where Lucy touched her.

“Me neither” Lucy whispers.

They keep looking at each other, the air around them thick, but in a good way. Everything around is forgotten, and it really feels good for both of them. Ona even forgets her usual thoughts, like what in the world Lucy is finding good for her in their relationship.

“Can I make a confession?”

Lucy is still whispering when she talks again, her hand now on Ona’s arm. The shorter girl nods, curious to know what Lucy might have to say.

“I’m jealous, sometimes. When I see the bond you have with Alexia, or with the thoughts that you are having so much time with Tony and that we have to fight to see each other.”

Ona smiles, tilting softly her head on the side. She didn’t expect anything, but not something like this either.

“I’m not spending any time with Tony. And as for Alexia, she really is just like my big sister. I couldn’t ask for a better Mentor, really” Ona explains. “For the record, I’d rather spend time with you.”

“Yeah?”

Ona smiles and nods softly, still looking at Lucy. It seems to reassure the girl, who smiles back and lets go of Ona’s arm. Lucy looks around them then, just like she looks at the room really for the first time.

“How did you know about that room?” Ona asks curiously.

“I looked around, the first day we were here. I got bored in my quarter and it was still early. It’s sad that we can’t look at the stars anymore, though.”

“It is” Ona nods. “I love when you explain to me stars and constellations.”

Lucy smiles and Ona tries to take her mind somewhere else than the fact that they will probably never do that again. They never talk about the Games but in Ona’s mind she imagines the arena just like it was last year. It was a kind of desert with very difficulty finding water. Some of the contestants literally died from thirst.

********

Ona frowns, looking around her. All the tributes were asked to come into this room now and were waiting for someone to give them a clue about what was happening. Alexia couldn’t say anything to Ona, but she promised that it was nothing to be scared about.

One from the official team finally comes inside the room and arches an eyebrow to ask for silence. He was a nice man, giving you the feeling that he only had an easy life. His bright blue suits horribly swear with his dark pink hair, though.

“Right. Thanks for coming on time. I’m going to be quick. This year we decided to be merciful with you and give you a last phone call to someone from your District. Please just write the name of the person on the sheet and we will do what is necessary to call them. Any questions?”

Ona blows some air from her nose. Lucy was right after all. Several hands raised, one of them being from Teagan.

“My parents don’t have a phone” he blushes shyly.

“No problem. Some peacekeepers are in the Districts to be sure that it could work.”

The idea isn’t very great for Ona, who bites her lip slowly. She hasn’t really thought about it again, but calling Aitana seems to be her best option. So, she writes her name when the sheets are given to her.

“You’re not calling your parents or Joan?” Tony asks when she gives him the sheets.

“No. I couldn’t choose between the three”

Tony nods in understanding and when Ona looks in the room again, she crosses Lucy’s gaze. They are sitting in the Districts’ order, so they can’t really be next to each other. And like they decided early in the beginning of their… situationship, they won’t let anyone know about it. They could become a target very quickly. They still look at each other for some seconds, before Lucy turns her eyes on Declan when he talks.

After that, they have to wait for some time. The official told them that it won’t be filmed but that the other Tributes will stay in the room. Ona doesn’t know what she prefers, to be honest. She totally made a good choice about the person she wants to call.

For that too, they did it in the Districts order. Ona zones out a lot during the first calls, they only have ten minutes each, but it still takes almost two hours before her turns. She’s focused on Lucy when she calls her brother, a little bit surprised to hear how formal the conversation looks. She mentally notes to ask Lucy about it later today.

Ona talks a little with the boy and the girl from the 9 to pass time. She learns about their life here, how both of their parents are farmers, even if one of them is only an employee and the other an owner of a farm. They are both 16 and grow up together. Ona doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to discuss with people she will have to fight in several days but does it anyway.

Tony calls his father before she finally is able to make her call too. She looks briefly at the man who gives her the phone before putting it in her ear.

It bip three times before someone answers.

“Hello?”

“Aita?” Ona asks softly, playing with the telephone wire she wraps around her finger.

“Oh my god. I’m so happy to hear from you! I can’t believe you chose me to talk to, but I’m really really glad.”

“How are you? How is everyone?” Ona smiles.

“I’m fine. Your parents are fine too, so is your brother. I go visit them everyday”

“That’s great!” Ona breaths softly.

She’s glad her best friend still looks for her parents. Aitana is a single kid, her parents get her very late in their life. Aitana’s mother was supposed to be infertile and finally gave birth to Aitana.

“I was with them when this man came to tell us about the call.”

“Aren’t my parents or Joan mad? I couldn’t choose between them three and honestly, I was scared that hearing their voices would just… destroy me, you know?”

“They aren’t mad, and I’ll explain to them why you chose me, don’t worry Oni. Really. They are proud of you and the way you are taking things. We saw you on TV last night, you were amazing.”

“Thank you” Ona smiles. “I’ll try everything to make them proud as long as I can, I swear.”

“We all know that.”

Ona smiles once again and looks at the clock to realize that she doesn’t have a lot of time left.

“I don’t have a lot of time left, I need to talk to you about something” Ona says, her tone a little more urgent.

“Okay?”

She can hear the surprise and the curiosity in Aitana’s voice. It makes her smile once again.

“You and my brother. You both have been in love with each other for years, I know it for a lot of years already.”

“What? … No –“ Aitana begins but I soon cut to Ona.

“No, please. We don’t have time for you to pretend that you are not in love. If you both want that, just go for it, please. You deserve happiness and there is no one else I would want for my brother.”

There are some seconds of silence, during which Aitana seems to digest the information, or the fact that Ona knew all those years.

“I know you did it to be respectful toward me, but please. We don’t have unlimited time; you have to enjoy it.”

“Okay, I will” Aitana finally whispers.

Ona nods and smiles, even if Aitana can’t see her. Ona can easily imagine the red cheeks on Aitana’s face and her little frown.

“What about you? Have you found someone there?”

“It’s complicated”

She doesn’t want to say anything, surrounded by everyone around. Especially Tony, to be honest.

“It’s not Tony, is it?”

“Ew. No.”

She can hear her best friend’s laugh, and it makes her smile too. Aitana’s laugh is very communicative, and this is the ultimate proof.

“Did you hear about Jana’s family?” Ona asks softly.

“Yeah, I saw Bruna yesterday. She was very touched by how you talked about her little sister. Their parents were too.”

“Can you tell them I think about them too, please?”

“Of course, I will.”

They talk until the ten minutes are finally finished and she then gives the phone to the male tribute from the 9. After that she laid down, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. Aitana was a great choice. She managed to keep the conversation casual and still managed to give her peace with some things.

Her parents are proud of her, Joan too. Joan and her will finally give a chance to their love. And they all love her very much. She couldn’t ask for more in her situation.

When they finally are finished with all these phone calls, they are able to leave to go to their quarters. It’s almost dinner time, so Ona takes advantage of it to go take a shower. She showers a lot since she’s here, appreciating the fact that there is hot and clear water at every hour of the day.

She then changes and goes to Alexia’s room, where she waits for dinner with her. Ona talks to Alexia about her phone call and a little bit more about Aitana. If Alexia goes to visit her parents at the 8, she might meet Aitana too. She told Alexia that she will see Lucy after dinner but would be back for the curfew.

After dinner, she sneaks out of the quarter and goes to the same room as yesterday. She wonders if Lucy will be here already but she soon has her answer when she enters the room.

There are pillows and blankets on the ground and the boxes have been pushed to mask a large part of the room if you look at it from the front door. Lucy suddenly stands when she hears the door, but smiles when she sees Ona.

“Hi” she says.

“Hey. What’s all of this?” Ona smiles.

“Well, this room isn’t as good as our garden, but I thought that with a little bit of work I could make it look great. What do you think?”

Ona is still smiling when she walks a little bit more in the room, looking around her. She’s touched by the amount of effort Lucy puts in, just for her.

“It’s amazing”

Lucy takes a big breath of relief before going for the switch of the room.

“And you haven’t seen everything!”

Lucy turns off the lights and it takes a few seconds for Ona’s eyes to adjust. But she is finally able to see the different colors dancing on the walls, in the light of the small lamps bedside that Lucy has hidden with cloth of colors.

She’s not really herself when she lets curse words get out of her lips, making Lucy chuckle. The brunette comes to take Ona’s hand in her, taking her with her to be laying in the pillow fort.

“Thank you” Ona whispers when she’s on her back, looking at the lights on the ceiling.

“My pleasure” Lucy smirks.

She’s on her back too, next to Ona. Ona turns her head in Lucy’s direction, enjoying the fact to finally be able to look at her how she wants. Lucy seems to feel her gaze on her though, because she finally turns her head in her direction. Just like yesterday, she strokes Ona’s cheek while removing a strand of her from her face.

Except that this time, her hand remains on Ona’s face, her thumb gently stroking her cheek.

“Is that ok?” Lucy whispers.

Ona nods, without looking away. She's hypnotized by Lucy’s eyes, her touch, her face… Everything. She has the impression that her heart is beating somewhere in her throat, but she doesn’t move anyway when she feels Lucy leans on her.

She’s on the verge of a heart attack when Lucy’s lips depose a tentative kiss on hers. She then feels all of her body react, shivers running on her skin everywhere and a heath crawling under her skin. It’s even way better than what she imagined.

Ona passes one of her hands in Lucy’s hair, taking Lucy’s lips against her once again when the older one stops the kiss. She wants more of it, she needs more of it. They exchange one, two, three and even four more kisses, each more urgent and passionate than the one before.

At some point, Lucy’s hands shyly explore Ona’s body from her fingertips while Ona’s hands are discovering the muscles of Lucy’s back. She can feel Lucy’s hard muscles under the soft skin after she passes her hands under her t-shirt.

“You don’t know how much I wanted to do that. And for how long” Lucy whispers after the kiss, when she she leaned her forehead against Ona’s.

Ona never had Lucy’s face so close to her. She tries to remember every little detail about Lucy’s face. Every freckle, every little scar, everything.

“Me too” Ona smiles softly. “I never thought… You know.”

“No?”

Lucy tilts her head, half-lying on Ona. But the younger girl doesn’t mind, even if it’s hard to concentrate on the conversation in this position.

“Have you seen yourself? And have you seen me?”

“I’ve watched you a lot, actually.”

Ona blushes and Lucy’s cocky smile gets bigger when she realizes it. She did it too, looking at Lucy as much as she could. She never admits it out loud though, but she likes the idea that Lucy wasn’t able to resist the urge to look at her too.

“And what I see is the most beautiful, cute and hot woman.”

“Hot?” Ona chuckles. “You’re the hot one here”

But Lucy shakes her head and leans again, to kiss Ona’s jaw this time. The younger one can feel more waves of heath crossing her body and her hands wrinkle on Lucy’s shirt. Her breath goes faster too, and she has to bite her lips when Lucy’s lips slide on her neck.

“Lucy” Ona finally calls softly.

Lucy hums, bringing her face up to the level of Ona’s.

“I… I’ve never…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, but she doesn’t need to. Lucy smiles softly at her, pecking her lips before talking.

“I wasn’t going to jump on you here and now” she states, making Ona blush. “We have to go back soon, anyway.”

Ona pouts this time. She doesn’t want to go back to her bedroom alone after the moment she shared with Lucy. Just like she can hear what Ona is thinking, Lucy puts her face on her hand and gently caresses Ona’s face.

“We will see each other tomorrow, right?”

“Sure” Ona smiles softly. “Thanks again for the lights and the pillow fort”

“My pleasure” Lucy smirks before kissing Ona again.

This kiss doesn’t last long though, they really have to go. Ona helps Lucy to tidy the room before leaving. When everything is in the big bag Lucy took and Ona hasn’t seen before, they turn to each other.

This time it’s Ona who passes her arms around Lucy’s neck, standing on tiptoe, to kiss her to say goodbye.

“Sleep tight, beautiful” Lucy whispers before kissing her one last time.

Just like they usually do, one left before the other, just in case someone else is around. Ona is the last to leave, but she’s glad. Like this she can compose herself before going back to her quarters.

[stevelieber]

Sleepless Kickstarter!

Artist Leila del Duca says:

"Sleepless: The Complete Collection will be a special limited run hardcover of our completed 11-issue series, binding the entire story into a single 336-page volume that would look right at home in an ancient library, and will be available exclusively to our amazing Kickstarter backers.

Sleepless is a comic we are still passionate about and incredibly proud of. After 11 issues running between 2017 and 2018, and two trade paperbacks, we’re so lucky we got to see the story completed and are eternally grateful to Image Comics for originally publishing it. We always wanted a printing where you could read Sleepless in one complete volume. Now that publishing rights are in our hands, this campaign hopes to do just that.

We hope you join us in seeing this dream come true!"

[magicfootballstuff]

Dirty Little Secret - part 3 (leila ouahabi x reader)

Summary: A love story about secrets, flirty messages, football rivalries, and useless lesbians who don’t know how to communicate. And it all starts with one badly timed challenge in the Champions League.

Leila Ouahabi x Arsenal!reader

Part 3/?

Read other parts here.

———

Your life can be split into two parts - before the Arnold Clark Cup and after the Arnold Clark Cup.

Or before Leila and after Leila.

You return to Arsenal and it’s surprisingly easy to settle back into the club routine and prepare for the next league game. You’d been slightly worried that it would be difficult to adjust, an abrupt return to reality after ten days of secret meetings and illicit hookups, but life at Arsenal is exactly as it was before.

It helps that the Arnold Clark Cup almost feels like it took place in a different reality. What you had with Leila was just a holiday fling between two consenting adults. You’ve both returned to your real lives now.

But then one evening three weeks after the international break, you’re tidying your apartment and sorting through things to have a clearout, when you find Leila’s red Spain jersey amongst a pile of clothes. You trace your finger over the yellow number fifteen on the front, then flip it over to look at Leila’s name on the back. You haven’t yet washed it and when you lift it to your nose and inhale, you’re sure you can still smell Leila’s scent on it, and you know that you didn’t imagine those two weeks at all.

You haven’t talked to Leila since you parted ways at the end of the international break, but seeing her shirt brings a whirlwind of memories that leaves you yearning for something.

Before you even have time to second guess yourself, you’re swapping your sweatshirt for Leila’s football shirt, then sprawling artfully across your bed as you take a selfie from above and send it to Leila.

You Thanks for the new pyjamas

It’s just a bit of fun - just like every other moment you shared with Leila. Part of you doesn’t expect her to reply. And she doesn’t straight away, you’ve given up on sorting and have settled down on the sofa to watch a Manchester City men’s game on the television when your phone finally vibrates with a response.

Leila Looking gooood 🤤

She doesn’t say anything else and you leave it there, not sure what else to say without coming across as too eager, so you set your phone aside and give your full attention to the football.

An hour has passed before another message comes through.

Leila Sorry I was out for dinner but home now

She’s attached an image to her message, a picture of her wearing the England shirt you exchanged with her. Except that she’s wearing just the England shirt, the hem coming down to cover her hips but very little else, her long legs bare.

You Leilaaaaa

Suddenly you don’t care about the football on the TV anymore.

———

Arsenal gets knocked out of the Champions League in the quarter finals by Wolfsburg, which means you miss out on the opportunity to play against Leila again in the semi final. Your last glimmer of hope that you might get to see Leila before a possible meeting during the Euros in the summer is snuffed out.

But when Barcelona beats Wolfsburg to advance to the final, you receive a surprising message a few days later.

Leila You coming to the Champions League final?

You hadn’t really given it much thought to be honest, since your own Champions League journey came to an end and it became irrelevant. The final is after your own season ends and there’s been talk amongst some of your Arsenal teammates of going on holiday together before you all split off into your various national teams for the Euros, but nothing set in stone.

The chance to watch Leila play in such an important match, to possibly even see her lift the trophy that every footballer in Europe dreams of lifting, would be special. But you haven’t seen Leila since the Arnold Clark Cup and there’s not enough of a thing going on between you for it to seem appropriate for you to just show up without Leila’s permission.

You Do you want me to come?

Before even waiting for Leila’s response, you already start checking your diary, working out the logistics of a spontaneous weekend in Turin and whether it fits in with your pre-Euro schedule.

Leila Yeahhhh. I can get a free ticket if you want? Barca friends and family area

You smile to yourself as you type out your reply.

You Aww, am I your friend? 😉 Why do you think I’d be cheering for Barca anyway? Maybe I’m a big Lyon fan

Leila replies straight away.

Leila 🖕

———

It turns out that Leila is serious about her offer of a ticket to the Champions League final, which is why just two weeks after the end of your season with Arsenal and the heartbreak of missing out on the title by just a single point, you get on a plane to Turin by yourself.

You don’t own a Barcelona shirt and though you take the Spain shirt from Leila with you, it stays in your suitcase as you head to the stadium. Having not yet had the chance to talk to Leila in person, you’re still not sure exactly what’s going on between you and it feels like a step too far to show up to one of her games wearing her name on your back. 

Instead, you’re trying to keep a low profile, donning a pair of dark sunglasses in the hope that it’ll make you less likely to get spotted by eager-eyed fans curious to discover why you’re sitting in the Barcelona family section.

It’s easy to get swept up in the atmosphere of the stadium. There are way more Barcelona fans than Lyon fans and the noise they make is immense. You’re a Manchester City fan, an Arsenal player, but tonight you’re a culer. You don’t know the chants but you don’t need to because you get caught up in the pure thrill of it all. Even when Barcelona go one, two, three goals down, the singing continues and there’s still belief that they can pull this back. Alexia gets one back just before half time that feels like a reward to the fans for their belief in the team.

But despite Barcelona’s best efforts in the second half, Lyon’s three goals prove too much to overcome and when the final whistle blows, they collapse to the pitch, exhausted and defeated.

You watch as Leila, who spent the game on the bench, wanders onto the pitch at full time, and your heart breaks for her when you see the hurt on her face and the tears shining in her eyes. You know that Barcelona were favourites and if you’re completely honest, you expected them to win. You thought that you would be celebrating with Leila tonight, but Lyon have the best record in this competition for a reason and now you need to prepare yourself to console her.

It’s quite a lot for something that’s just a casual friends with benefits situation, but then again, so is flying to Italy to watch the final in the first place. 

The trophy ceremony seems to drag on forever, as if you’re down there on the pitch on the losing team yourself. You’ve been on the wrong side of a cup final enough times yourself to know that there are very few worse feelings in football than having to stay on the pitch after losing such an important game and watching another team celebrate with the trophy you wanted to lift, so you know exactly how Leila must be feeling right now.

After the ceremony, the Barcelona players wander over to this section of the crowd and greet their families over the advertising boards. You hang back as Leila exchanges hugs with what you assume to be her family. This moment is for them, not for you, and you know that you need to wait for Leila to beckon you across if she wants to see you. What would you say to them anyway? You can hardly introduce yourself to Leila’s parents as the girl who hooked up with their daughter for two weeks in February. If the roles were reversed, you don’t know if you’d want to explain the situation to your own family.

So you wait, and you keep waiting. 

But Leila doesn’t beckon you over. In fact, she doesn’t even acknowledge you’re there at all.

The longer you’re standing there, the more the doubt starts to cloud your mind. At first it was explainable - there are obviously other people here to see Leila who she would prioritise talking to after the game more than you. But when she moves away from her own family to talk to the family of her teammates, then eventually moves back onto the pitch and hovers around a group of dejected Barcelona players, you start to wonder if Leila has forgotten that she invited you entirely.

Maybe you should’ve been more assertive. Maybe you should’ve stood closer to the barrier so that Leila couldn’t miss you.

You sit down again on the plastic stadium seat and pull out your phone, deciding to message Leila instead

You Sorry about the result but I’m so proud of you anyway! Let me know when you’re free? I can’t wait to see you!

When you look up, you can no longer see Leila. You scan the few blaugrana shirts still on the pitch just in case, but most of the team seems to have returned inside to the dressing room and you can only assume that Leila is one of them. The crowd has thinned out too, even the friends and family sections that were full long after the rest of the fans started to leave the stadium is starting to empty, and you know it’s probably time for you to leave too.

As you make your way out of the stands, you find a quiet corner on the almost deserted stadium concourse and decide to call Leila. You’re not sure if she’s checked her phone yet since the final whistle, so it’s not exactly a surprise when it rings straight through to her voicemail, but you decide to leave a message anyway.

“Leila, it’s me,” you say. “Listen, I…” You let out a sigh, then say, “I know you must be hurting right now. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling and I … and I just wish I could do something or say something to make it better but I can’t. But I’m proud of you. Just getting to the final is an achievement. Shit, I know that’s not what you need to hear right now but…”

You lean your head against the nearest wall and close your eyes in frustration, fully aware that you’re rambling almost nonsensically at this point.

“I’m here if you need me,” you continue. “Or if you don’t, that’s fine too. I’m leaving the stadium to get some food, then I’ll probably go back to my hotel, but just let me know you’re okay?”

You hesitate for just a few seconds, unsure how to sign off, before you panic and just end the message there. 

“Fuck!” you growl.

You turn around to lean your back against the wall, only to realise that the concourse isn’t as empty as you thought, but that two fans in Barcelona shirts have just witnessed your outburst.

“Sorry,” you apologise to them, but they don’t seem bothered by your swearing. In fact, they actually approach you, a little giddy, and you suddenly remember that you’re not as anonymous as you’d often like to be.

“Can we get a selfie?” one of the girls asks, taking out her phone. “My friend is a huge Arsenal fan. You’re one of her favourite players.”

You force a smile onto your face. Normally you don’t mind fan interactions, in fact it usually warms your heart to know that there are people out there who you don’t even know who support you and look up to you, but there’s a time and place for that and you’re really not in the mood right now. Despite that, Leila is to blame for your sour mood, not them, and you’re not going to take out your frustrations on a couple of innocent fans.

“Of course,” you tell them, positioning yourself so that one girl stands on either side of you and smiling at the outstretched phone of the girl on the left.

“Thank you,” they say, once the selfies have been taken.

“No problem,” you reply, and you only let the smile slide off your face when they’re out of sight.

You really need to get out of here. And fast.

———

You thought that by distancing yourself from the stadium and the match, it might ease your mind a little. But by the time you get back to your hotel with a paper bag of takeout food, you feel more uneasy than ever. 

Leila is still silent. No texts, no calls, nothing on social media. 

You replay your voicemail message over and over again in your mind, each word sitting like a brick on your chest, making it difficult to breathe. Was it too much? Surely Leila would have messaged you when she was ready. What if your message comes across as needy, as smothering? What if you’re only pushing her away further?

Fuck. Leila probably doesn’t even want you here at all. You’re only a hookup to her, a bit of fun to pass your downtime during the Arnold Clark Cup. You were wrong to read anything more into the invitation to watch the final. She can only have wanted you here on standby, a plaything to use as a celebration if Barcelona won the trophy. But they didn’t and she doesn’t need you, she doesn’t want you.

The more you spiral, the more you want to speak to her. Just a single message, a word of reassurance or even just an acknowledgement that she’s not in the right headspace to see you tonight, would be enough to settle your anxiety.

As it is, you’re alone in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city with nothing but a bag of food and your own intrusive thoughts.

You want to call someone, to talk to a friend before you completely fall apart. Leah, perhaps. You’ve known her forever and out of all your friends, she’s probably the least likely to judge you if you call her up out of nowhere in floods of tears and tell her you’re having a breakdown in a hotel room in Turin over some girl you hardly know. In fact, Leah is such a good friend that if she knew you were distressed, she’d probably hop on the first flight to Italy to comfort you in person.

But Leah is on holiday in America and she deserves the time off before the Euros without having to worry about her idiotic best friend having girl problems on the other side of the world.

You’re just going to have to deal with this alone.

Hot tears spill down your face and you cocoon yourself beneath the bedcovers, wishing that the bed would swallow you whole.

You don’t know how you could’ve been so stupid to think that this meant something, how you could’ve been so stupid to catch feelings for Leila when there are clearly far too many obstacles between you for it to ever work out. In your defence, it’s only now that you’re starting to realise that you are catching feelings for her, but still… you could’ve done more to stop it from happening in the first place.

The doubt and the self-loathing clouds your mind and you cry it out until you can’t cry anymore, until you finally succumb to exhaustion, passing out into a dreamless sleep with tear-stained cheeks.

———

You wake up alone, having had a bad night’s sleep, to several messages from Leila, which can be summed up by the most recent one.

Leila Can I see you today?

The rest of her messages, all sent within the last couple of hours this morning, are a mixture of pleas and apologies.

You’re still pissed at her for not responding to any of your messages last night. But you flew all the way to Turin at Leila’s request, used the ticket that she gave you for free to watch the match, and you don’t fly back until later today. And, despite your anger, you do still want to see her.

You’re not going to make an effort though, which is why you message her back with the address of your hotel. If Leila wants to see you, then she can be the one to make the effort to come and see you herself.

When she arrives at your hotel, you decide to meet her downstairs in the hotel restaurant, instead of inviting her up to your room. There’s less temptation to let her seduce her way back onto your good side if you meet in public.

Leila looks like shit - that’s your first impression. She looks like she’s had even less sleep than you have, her eyes puffy, her expression weary, her usual smile absent. 

If she hadn’t pissed you off yesterday, you’d probably hug her. 

Instead, you just let her sit down across from you and ask her, “Do you want to eat?”

She shakes her head. 

“I’m not hungry today.”

“Coffee, then?” you suggest, because she definitely looks like she needs it.

Leila nods. 

You’ve already ordered yourself a coffee (you’re normally a tea person but you don’t want to risk the Italian tea not being to your taste) and a sandwich, but you call over the waiter once more for Leila.

“So what happened?” you eventually ask, once Leila has ordered her coffee.

“I’m sorry,” Leila apologises with a shrug, and from the way that her eyebrows are furrowed together, it seems like she’s having a difficult time trying to hold herself together.

“Sorry for what?” you ask, waiting for her to admit that she messed up, but when she doesn’t, you continue talking. “I flew here by myself, I sat in the family section surrounded by people I don’t know, all speaking a language I don’t understand. The only person I knew in this city yesterday was you. You invited me here. I thought you wanted me here.”

“I want you here,” Leila pleads with you. “But a lot happened yesterday and it was too much.”

“I get that. You think I’ve never lost a cup final? I came here to support you, win or lose. And then you hurt me. You made me feel like an idiot.”

The effort that Leila has been putting into not falling apart crumbles and the sobs heave through her body, shoulders trembling and tears spilling down her cheeks. Annoyed with her or otherwise, it’s not nice to see, and you feel a pang of regret that your harsh words have upset her.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you say, reaching for one of the unused napkins on the table and passing it across to Leila, letting your fingers brush against her hand as you do. “I’m pissed off, but I don’t want to see you cry. I don’t care that you didn’t win the Champions League. I would’ve loved to watch you lift that trophy but I’m proud of you anyway for making it to the final.”

Leila uses the napkin to wipe her tears, and the silence, as well as the sad look in her eyes, compels you to keep talking.

“And it’s not like I was expecting anything from you yesterday either,” you tell her. “If you didn’t want to see me or you were too busy, that’s fine. But just one message to let me know what was going on and I wouldn’t have been left waiting around feeling stupid.”

“I know, I know,” Leila says, her voice cracking ever so slightly. “So much stuff is happening right now. It’s all too much. But you’re right, I should have messaged.”

You don’t know what to say. It almost feels like you’re back to square one, like you don’t even know Leila at all. But then you realise - do you even know Leila? It’s not like you’ve actually spent any time getting to know each other. There’s an obvious attraction between you, and physical chemistry too, but do you actually have anything in common beside your profession?

“Can I make it up to you?” Leila blurts out.

“How?” you ask.

You’re expecting a smirk to slide across Leila’s lips and for her to suggest you go somewhere private for her to apologise to you in a more physical way, but instead, she looks you straight in the eye and says, “Come to Barcelona?”

“When?”

“This week. We have another final - la Copa de la Reina. You could come to the game.”

You let out a sigh. You can’t put yourself through what you’ve been through this weekend again, as tempting as it is to just forgive Leila and succumb to her request. Yet despite the fact that you cried yourself to sleep last night because of Leila, you can’t deny the fact you’ve still got a soft spot for her and it’s incredibly difficult to say no to her.

“I’ve got an England camp coming up soon,” you try to reason with her. “We’re starting our Euro prep.”

“Just for a few days,” Leila pleads with you. “I really want you to come. Please.”

“I can’t just drop everything at short notice,” you tell Leila, though your plans for the next couple of weeks don’t involve much more than relaxing as much as possible before getting straight back to work with the Lionesses.

“Okay,” Leila says, and though that’s all she says, you can tell she’s disappointed.

Would it really be so bad if you said yes? Would it hurt to give her another chance? You don’t want what happened yesterday to ruin what’s been going between you forever, which means forgiving her at some point. Maybe a little holiday in Barcelona, especially before you enter the biggest summer of your life so far, is exactly what you need.

It’ll be like the Arnold Clark Cup all over again, an escape from reality until you have to return to life as a footballer and Leila’s on-pitch rival.

“Fine, I’ll look at flights to Barcelona,” you concede. “I can give you two days, maybe three, before I need to be back in England.”

“Thank you,” Leila says, smiling at you gratefully.

She reaches into the little bag that she brought with her and pulls out a piece of blue and pink fabric, and as she unfurls it you realise it’s a Barcelona shirt.

“My jersey from yesterday,” she explains as she passes it across the table. “To thank you for coming to see me. If you can come to Barcelona next week, you could wear it to the final?”

Wearing Leila’s name to one of her matches sounds serious. It sounds like a commitment. As is flying to Turin, or even to Barcelona to watch one of her games, but that hasn’t quite gone to plan.

Things were so easy when you were flirting from different countries, or sneaking around St George’s Park for a bit of fun. The rational part of your brain tries to warn you that it’s probably not a good thing that at the first sign of this perhaps actually being a little more serious, it’s resulted in this misunderstanding and both of you getting upset.

But the pleading look in Leila’s bloodshot eyes is impossible to say no to.

“Thanks,” you say, refolding the jersey and setting it aside.

“When do you go home?” Leila asks.

“This afternoon,” you answer. “My flight’s just after four. You?”

“In a couple of hours,” Leila tells you. “I can’t stay much longer. Only Patri knows I’m not at the team hotel.”

You can’t help but smile, reminded a little of the way you both snuck around St George’s Park back in February, only now your secrecy has led you to fly to a whole different country while Leila has snuck across town to see you.

This thing between you, this connection that has been growing since that tackle back in Barcelona, is far from easy. But aren’t the best things in life worth the fight?

“Come here,” you say, pushing back your chair and getting to your feet.

You hold your arms out wide until Leila understands and gets up too, stepping around the table and into your embrace. Her arms wind around your back as you pull her close, burying your face into her shoulder 

“Thank you for giving me another chance,” Leila mumbles into your hair.

You don’t say anything in response, instead simply squeezing her closer and savouring the feeling of her body against yours. If you can make the logistics of a trip to Barcelona next week work, it won’t be long until you can hold her again like this, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to make the most of every second you can get with her before you have to go in separate directions again.

If this tumultuous weekend in Turin has taught you anything, it’s that you can’t take anything for granted.