#Lawrellini

[rodamned]

[danishphoner]

this is one creative way to describe lawrellini’s decades-old relationship and lawrenitez’s love at first promise (and the fact that you ship both)

[mpbfilm]

imagine the young thomas lawrence and aldo bellini starting the seminary like this and being roommates.

[dreamingbrownie]

Conclave fic recs

A non-exhaustive list of some pearls of this fandom.

Aldo/Thomas

Just Before Spring

The way Aldo went on about it, one would think St. Valentine had gone and gotten decapitated on his birthday specifically to spite him, several centuries in advance.

G, 738 words, oneshot. I loved this for how utterly beautifully written it is. This feels intimate and like you should't quite perceive Thomas and Aldo in their comfortable balance of affection and what-could-have-been, and I adore the characterization of Aldo in this one. The love Thomas holds for him pours off the screen in this one. Such a radiant little pearl of a story, this goes down like a mouthful of peach juice.

Know it's for the better

Bellini stumbles upon Lawrence having broken into His Holiness’ chambers. Title from Waiting Room - Phoebe Bridgers

M, 1,440 words. Touch-starved comfort, alternative scene from the movie as it says on the tin. Bones points for the tag "celibacy my ASS."

We're just two men as god has made us

Having to share a hotel room due to a booking mistake, Thomas and Aldo reconnect with the divine through a bond that is both holy and carnal.

E, 1,803 words, oneshot. This is really solid "there is just one bed" hotel room smut, friends to lovers, real good stuff.

Cardinal sins

Aldo Bellini, going through it, during the events of Conclave (with some ancient history thrown in) This is mostly unsexy, nearly 4k words of being in love with someone you can't have, and God and everyone you hate are also there.

T, 4,043 words, oneshot. What it says on the tin, such a good addition to canon.

The kids have a new take on faith

With every season of change comes regret for the chances not taken. Aldo Bellini and Thomas Lawrence confront their regrets.

E, 6k, oneshot. This is one of my favourite Aldo/Thomas actual smut fics because it's so tender and doesn't spend much time on the internalized homophobia which there are fantastic, but heartwrenching, painful depictions of aplenty in this fandom. Thomas and Aldo feel so lost but determined in this one, holding onto the only thing they're certain of: each other. And it feels incredibly realistic in its portrayal of middle-aged, ageing men learning each other's bodies for the first time ever.

A debt of wine and crucifixion

Here is the worst-kept secret of Vatican City: For nearly a millennium, Nicolò di Genova has dropped in on every single newly elected Pope to give him the shovel talk. Just to ensure none of them gets any funny ideas about Jerusalem again, or that's how it started out, at least. The Holy See has been closing up the holes in their security after him every time, but there is a new hotel built too close to the Leonine wall, there are turtles ambling around the Vestal Virgins' feet, and a new Holy Father from Mexico City sits the Papal throne. That Thomas Lawrence has quite literally signed up for this doesn't help the matter much.

T, 7.3k, oneshot. I humbly offer my own: A The old Guard x Conclave crossover in which Nicky gets introduced to the new Holy Trinity of the Curia, Aldo and Thomas are determinably Not Talking About Themselves, and Vincent still is their pillar of faith.

True Worship

Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – that is true worship. Smut, that's it. Tedesco shows up at some point. But mostly it's longing, flirting, and you know...

E, 11,5k oneshot of Aldo/Thomas afterglow bliss ✨

I will love you so much that one day you will begin to love yourself

They ended up in the security office, where a spacious black leather couch had been repurposed as Aldo’s makeshift bed. The clothes he wore—likely from the club’s lost and found—didn’t fit him properly. His pants were too loose, and his shirt clung uncomfortably tight.

Not Rated, 11.7k of just hurt/comfort heavy angst with emphasis on the angst. Aldo's self-loathing and destructive behaviour in this is no joke, read with informed consent. Oneshot.

Concerto for Flourescent Lightbulb and Nespresso Machine

the only way to achieve something that sounds strange and divine is by using your hands - Volker Bertelmann on his score for Conclave 3 years after leaving the church and 3 weeks after getting his new hip, Thomas recieves an unexpected visitor.

G, 13,7k, oneshot. Such a beautiful, tender, wonderful story about the two of them leaving the Church to be together at last. They grow together quite accidentally in Denmark, slowly and then all at once. I adore this story so so much. The tag "[Stucky voice] we deserve a soft epilogue, my love" really rings true for this one.

Trinitas

“You’d like him, you know,” Thomas said. “I do like him,” Aldo said automatically, twirling the stem of his wine glass, looking into its deep red like it was a scrying mirror “I mean as a friend. If you spent more time with him. You have a lot in common.” “Do we use the same shampoo?” asked Aldo, raising an eyebrow. Thomas gave him a warning look but his mouth was tugging up. “You’re both stubborn,” he said bluntly.

M, 33.4k, happy ending, oneshot. The tags say this is Aldo/Thomas/Vincent, though it only gets there two thirds down, and up until that point, it's a classic, fantastic Aldo/Thomas slow burn. So tender and just the right mixture of genuine long friendship mixed with what-could-have-been which eventually does, of course, spill over. This had me giggling and cackling over their love confession with glee. Also I love Vincent cheerfully thrashing Aldo at chess in this. Everyone is so very in character and I adore that.

The Vincent/Thomas masterpieces:

Divine Revelations of Love

Following Tremblay's election, Thomas Lawrence is forced to resign and ends up in a refugee camp in Jordan, working side by side with Cardinal Vincent Benítez.

M, 27,6k, multi-chapter and finished. The holy grail, y'all. This fic is going to make you weep, sigh, clench your whole hand in the nearest scrap of fabric or possibly a pillow to scream into, it's going to teach you a thing or seven about refugee camps in Jordan, the disaster that is European dealings with the refugee crisis, the involvement of the UN and various Catholic missions and orders in the humanitarian aid system, and it is going to grip your heart and twist it around and backwards a couple of times before you notice it yourself. The ending hurts like a goddamn stab wound, so it's a good thing there's the follow-up story 21 syllables already being posted which is going to do the exact same things to you all over again. Bon appetite.

Encounters with Turtles

Under the pontificate of Innocent XIV, Thomas Lawrence attempts to further social reform while navigating a web of personal struggles. Caught between his troubling feelings about Vincent and a crisis besetting Aldo, Thomas is forced to reckon with the boundaries of friendship, love, and sexuality.

E, 33k, multi-chapter and finished.

The other holy grail of Vincent/Thomas fics. I'm being completely frank here, this fic deals the most realistic, brutal, honest portrayal of the Vatican's particular brand of homophobia I have seen in this fandom to date. It hurts. It really, really hurts; this is hard stuff to stomach. The way in which Aldo's internalized homophobia and all that self-hatred as a middle-aged gay man trapped in the Curia is portrayed feels utterly heartwrenching especially because it's true for so many queer religious people all around the world. And then Thomas falls in love with Vincent and stumbles down the exact same rabbithole of self-loathing, guilt, love, self-discovery, musings about sin and God and whether homosexuality is or is not a disease and all the ugly rest of it. I still haven't finished this as I'm stuck half-way down Chapter 5, because it's just incredibly heavy stuff. Dead Dove, do not eat, I'm so serious about this. But I do love Aldo's and Thomas' friendship in this one, as well as the characterization of everyone, especially and including the OCs.

[todoga]

He is a KNIGHT

[antonivs]

imagine uttering the words "that firm hand of yours has its admirers" followed by THIS expression...aldo you might not know yourself but i know exactly what you are

[yosbin]

"I had the temerity to tell you to examine your heart, when all the time my own was... Shameful to be this age and still not know yourself."

(or the ecstasy of pope john)

[conclaveyaoi]

I know aldo cried the entire night after his fight with thomas

[binarisunset]

something about the concept of Bellini noticing the pure love and adoration in Lawrence’s eyes whenever he looks at Benítez and realizing Thomas was always capable of looking at someone so lovingly, it was just that that look was never going to be for him

[villa-kulla]

oh nothing, just book lawrence and bellini being work husbands who have each other's backs...

....and praying together...

...and supportively sassing each other...

...and being soft ...

...and passing notes during conclave like schoolchildren...

AND WHATEVER IMPROMPTU 'GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE' REPRESSED TENDER ROMANCE MOVIE YEARNING BULLSHIT THIS IS

i'm crying, they're married, they're dating, they're confirmed bachelors, they're courting, they're besties, they're flirting, they're in love, they're everything to me, amen

[chillentertainer]

do you think when bellini and tedesco are fucking that sometimes they both moan lawrence’s name accidentally. and then they’re just staring at each other like “what??” “what??” while tedesco is balls deep in bellini

[rodamned]

It's always "I love you" and never "I've come to ask for your forgiveness. I had the temerity to tell you to examine your heart when all the time it was my own... it's shameful to be this age and still not know yourself."

[searchingforserendipity25]

thinking about lawrence and bellini and how they think they know each other, and they do, but not without the clarity each expects...bellini's 'don't be so naive' comment comes out with such force. he's been holding that between his teeth for years. decades maybe. all the time bellini spent struggling with his ambitions, his resentments.

it's only now during the conclave that will make or break his career and redeem the course of his life, his chance to step up and take up the mantle of the dead friend he is grieving deeply. it's now that it comes out - how much he has been living like a politician.

presenting himself one way, upholding the virtues of justice and humility, enjoying his own flair in throwing down the gauntlet, listing all his ideals and principles.

add: dramatic refusal. add: dramatic exit. performing so well, even his oldest friend cannot see it. cannot see him, for who he is. and so of course lawrence's trust and belief in him cannot be true; but bellini can't help but crumble when it starts eroding.

he is a false icon and a false man. he envies what he sees of lawrence, the doubts he has which are turned towards god and not towards the church (a doubt he shared with the late pope, and can only confess to it through him, even in absence). his self-denial that keeps him safe from ambition, that makes it terribly easy to set aside as competition, makes him safe to rely on.

except lawrence has a courage bellini can't replicate. an ability to respond to circumstances and not merely react and hesitate due to the possible costly outcomes.

because he is brilliant, he can see risks so clearly, he is so deeply aware of the weight in every decision and that hinders him terribly, it is the hubris of the righteous, a self-hating sense of responsibility. who else but him should be pope?

the big test of character he faces is not a scandal with victims or a crime: it is only disappointing a friend, disappointing himself. only that. a very quiet thing happens, behind closed doors, like so many other quiet things.

lawrence breaks the papal seal. he breaks vows and promises and protocol and ritual; he broke faith with the institution they have served together for decades, and so bellini cannot hold faith with him, or the truth he is trying to bring to the light.

the truth does not, then, matter as much as the look of the thing. the risk is too great. oh, it is always too great, for aldo bellini to take.

it is only when he loses lawrence's faith, the last steady old living faith lawrence has, that bellini realizes he does not have it in him to live by integrity. what an ugly thing to know, and to learn from someone renouncing him, the one person he thought would not.

lawrence makes clear bellini's weaknesses, as he does for the rest, and bellini sees him clearly in the light of day after a night of looking at himself, and he is very sorry, and grateful to him, for being the crucible. the least of all evils, and the one who cuts closest to the bone.

he looks at the darkness inside himself and apologizes. so quickly, so simply.

bellini apologizes; he makes amends; he offers supports, upholds the mirror as lawrence did, works towards a better future. it is another day. he is a politician, and it is another day.

when they reconcile he says: it is shameful to live this long and not know himself. and it is then, because he says that, at his prompting, in the example of that peculiar courage bellini has and thinks he does not have, that lawrance admits it. he does have a name scrawled in his heart, a small ambition; he is capable of wanting, even he would rather not.

and still, bellini leads the way for lawrence. in facing his failures to live up to his image of himself, in the possibility not only of regret and shame and struggle for dignity when facing the certainty of defeat (adeyemi) or denial, incomprehension (tremblay) - but in making amends.

lawrence's old trust in him is not baseless or empty, there is love between them still, because bellini is not that good of a politician, it turns out; he doesn't have what it takes to stick it out, to pretend at a thing he cannot be.

he is too true for it. he is brave, only not in the way he sought to be thought of. a quieter thing, less emphatic, more powerful by far. he is so clearly exhausted of himself. pretending at certainty is so much more treacherous and exhausting and dangerous than doubt admitted. and humility, the scholar learns, is the only possible road for knowledge of the self and the other and the world.

don't be so naive thomas. don't be so naive. but in the morning it is bellini asking for the name john, preparing in expectation and hope for his friend the moment he would ask him the term of his papacy after being elected. he asks without resentment, and with a new belief in him, a true understanding.

a reverse-baptism, which never happens, except for how it exists between them. what is the name of your fearful desire, your sin, your hope in the midst of hopelessness, your weakness like my own?

the dangerous ones are the ones who want to be elected. but aldo bellini is the one person who says, everyone wants it. he denies the possibility for false pretenses.

and because it is his friend who speaks of it, not tremblay accusing him of it or benítez offering it freely, but aldo bellini who asks what is the shape and sound of his secret faith in himself, lawrence can admit it.

if he can forgive bellini for it, he has to forgive himself. if bellini can face what sort of man he is, so does he. and he doesn't, of course, forgive himself for it, or give himself much of any grace. but he begins to believe that is it possible others might truly know his doubts and desires, and not look away, or be appealed, betrayed, renounce him for his humanity. bellini doesn't.

they see each other clearly now. they sit on the same bench, apart from the rest of the world, secluded in friendship.

in the script, after the explosion, they walk arm in arm for the last vote.

[mannap]

Sometimes I remember that I can draw literally anything i want = Aldo Bellini🏳️‍🌈

[danishphoner]

this is the equivalent of high-schoolers passing notes to each other in class. except that they're cardinals in the middle of a conclave in the sistine chapel

[todoga]

I really wish I could bring some actual art with a plot, but my little arter's brain keeps screaming "CATHOLIC OLD MEN". sorry not sorry (but I feel quite ashamed)

This isn't an illustration of any scene from the fic, but you should know Trinitas made me draw it 🖤