#Lava repair cost

[anamelessfool]

Bored around the Ministry HQ (Young Copia HC)

Copia is usually very good at finding ways to entertain himself. He currently has a little colony of five rats, which is a big responsibility and a good way for him to bond with the other three or four children his age. He spends a lot of time making little houses and obstacle courses for them out of paper and toilet paper tubes. He is surprisingly responsible for a 10 year old. He keeps his room tidy and finds organizing his desk drawers to be a soothing activity. But sometimes he does get a little restless. So he puts his pets back in their cage and does a wander. Before he leaves his room he touches the doorknob three times: once to protect his rats. Twice for bravery. And the third time for luck. After his little ritual he is good to go.

There are rules about who to run into and what to expect. Copia thinks rules are important especially his own.

Primo

Primo is a very engaging, friendly conversationalist. Copia often goes to him for advice. Primo will answer any dumb question with kindness and no judgement. But you have to be working. If Primo's chopping wood, Copia has to stack it in the woodshed. If he's off for a jog Copia has to be out jogging with him. Primo will listen to any concern at all as long as you're pulling hornworms off the tomato plants while you do it. Copia thinks that Primo's mind only works when he's doing something with his hands.

Secondo

Never, ever, ever mentions his boredom to Secondo. He will find something for Copia to do. There's always Latin to study. There's always piano scales to practice. Copia loves playing piano but Secondo is ruthless about technique and form. If one wanders into the common room and Secondo is there at the piano, back away slowly unless one wants an impromptu extra hour of practicing scales.

Sister Rebecca

Doubly so for the Ministry's schoolmarm and Secondo's mother. Avoid her at all costs. Where do you think Secondo gets it from?

Terzo

Copia has been coached to never seek out Terzo. One, his third adoptive brother prefers solitude and is usually holed up in his cell developing photos or repairing something. There is also a Secret Second Reason to never seek out Terzo but Primo is pretty vague about it. Copia is often curious about why someone who likes solitude also has lots of friends. And Terzo inexplicably has many, many, many friends. Sometimes new ones each week.

Sister

No. Absolutely not. Not ever. Also he would need to make an appointment first.

Nihil

Surprisingly not a terrible experience but Copia is locked in for an hour or two before attempting to squirm away. Nihil is always up for a visit. He will give anyone some snacks and drinks, although they are the snacks he likes. He will talk Copia's ear off but only about what he wants to talk about. Nihil's going to have a stream of consciousness conversation with himself about Peter Fripp or tree roots or something. At least Copia can sit in a giant nest of pillows and watch the soothing undulation and warm glow of Nihil's lava lamp collection.

My Fic List

[fountainpenguin]

"You're on your own- So what? Have you gone blind? Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?" (x)

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For Sale: Bird Wings (Never Worn)

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Complete! - 7/7 chapters - 37k words

💚 More Neighborhood Watch AU

I just finished a chill, T-rated found family 'fic from my "Life Series but it's a single timeline" AU project. Check it out!

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Synopsis: When Grian Ties’g was 16, the last Totem of Undying in the known world swapped his soul with the Grian one universe to the left… sparing him a perma-death, but at what cost?

An overwhelmed Grian Xelqua - who did not sign up for this, thank you very much - jolts awake in a world where Red Names are no joke and stealing someone’s life is fair play.

And a very Red Tango now has a sword at his throat. ❤️

(First 1,300 words under the cut)

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For Sale: Bird Wings (Never Worn)

Those Who Came Before

🖤  🖤  ❤️

The first Totem of Undying in the Four Lands passed through the wrinkled hands of many wealthy folks in Crimson City before falling into possession of a princess who went Red young and fled her home. She kept it all her life, but when the time came to breathe her last, she unwound it from its place at her bosom and clasped it around the neck of her only son.

"I've lived enough," she simply said. "I've led so long and you've been faithful. Go now and do as you see fit with your given lives."

Steve Wandering watched his mother die as he had watched his father, burying the memories of both with shovel and silence. He'd always been a silent man. He took up his sword and from then on traveled decade after decade, sharing food with the needy and braving the hissing creatures of the night. He invented many things, discovered many treasures, and died glorious in a fight against the Dragon That Ends All.

And lived.

And lost those memories like the wind.

The second Totem of Undying in the Four Lands belonged to Alex Wolftamer in the east, who claimed to care not for the treasure passed down through her ancestral line of Wolf Kings and Queens. They had no palace, but called themselves such titles in their stand against Kingdom Crimson. Rather than flaunt that totem around her own neck, she wrapped it like a collar at the throat of her dog. Across the years, far too many people of sinister desire fought sword and pick to win her hand or win the hunting hound. It's with a shout and diamond axe that she lunged at the cloaked stranger who ventured through the valley forest. With cheery, bellyaching laugh, Herobrine caught her hand and spun her dangerously near the mountain drop.

"Why should I take from your beloved she-wolf?" he asked, and dangled a totem from his own wrist where she could see. "I've already got one. I did not come to take what loved ones gave unto you, but to inquire of your wisdom… for I have no one I love as much as you care for your dear wolf. I am but a cowardly man who's worn the totem for himself for security and peace. I cannot imagine surrendering it. Tell me, warrior… How did you find such inner peace?"

"Who says I have?"

"What ails you, then?"

"I fear the encroach of the Red Army. Their farms extend ever nearer to our forests. Their high-ranking officers, bearing the Hand mark upon their chests, come demanding tribute and insist we raise their banner. So many from our village have sought the safety of their walls. I wish for nothing but food for my dogs, repairs for my roof, and safe passage through the land."

"Ah… What have you done to incite their displeasure?"

"I haven't raised hand against them unless they've come directly in conflict with me."

"How frequent are their conflicts?"

"They've claimed our cows. They flood the roads to market with lava and have taken two lives- nearly three. They harass the trades I make with my own neighbors of my own free will."

"Let us go secretly, then, and burn the walls that have reached your valley's edge."

They married two years later, and it was four after that that Alex fell from a great height, one arm wrapped around her canine companion and the other reaching for a husband who lunged and missed her hand vanishing from the cliff. Alex hit the ground a block away from the rushing river that saved her dog.

And lived.

And lost those memories like rain. Not even the dog recognized her then, growling and nipping when Alex rose to her feet, and Snowflake followed Herobrine when they parted ways. They say he never took Snowflake's totem from her collar, but that Snowflake wriggled out of it the day after Alex died, took the chain in her teeth, and presented it to him with grief in her dark eyes. It may be just a story - a personification of a ragged beast - but it's a prettier tale than the alternative way this tale could end.

That third Totem of Undying, the one that Herobrine Mapcrafter wore on his wrist for much of his life, originated from the North. It tumbled through the hands of wizards and they say Herobrine was gifted it for his proven mastery in breaching the Nether dimension- the secrets of which had only been held by the Westlands until now.

Prior his apprenticeship beneath the wizards' eyes, he'd been raised a cartographer. Following the death of Alex, he took up mapmaking again with Snowflake by his side. He entered the Nether dimension for what he knew would be his final time. They never came out again and no record survives depicting full details. People speak often that he perhaps saved a community of Netherborn folks from a hissing, snarling Wither Boss that clawed its way out of the ground. Others whisper he released that Wither himself out of grief and wished for death. Witnesses claim he leapt before the beast, taking the hit on Snowflake's behalf.

And lived.

And lost those memories like they'd been scorched alive. They say he went mad, never the same again. Some claim they've seen Snowflake's white fur dashing through the Nether even now, her howl weeping for her masters and the moon and the feel of grass beneath her paws.

The last Totem of Undying in the Four Lands (rumor claimed) lay hidden in the Southlands. For three decades since the rise of the Dragon That Ends All, the unremarkable little thing drifted and tumbled and snagged or… something of the sort. Details unknown. It passed into the sewers at some undefinable point, where it floated until it didn't. It caught and clung to the sewer's edge year after year after year.

There it stayed until a ragtag tangle of friends - a trio - sought shelter in the tunnels after their brotherhood of Bad Boys split and turned against each other. They trekked without hesitation into the grime, for they were Red of name and disgust could graze them not. The youngest, with his gray and yellow wings, sat down near the entrance to clean an open wound. The eldest began to organize their meager food supply. The middle child, aged only 16, waded deeper through the passageway, wandering with little purpose but to scout for things to have; things to take. Red Lives, as a rule, are very, very greedy.

The totem lasted exactly 4 minutes and 36 seconds in Grian Ties'g's possession. He found it tangled among the filth and wasted no time taking it for himself. To prevent his fellow Bad Boys from sniping it away, he scrambled up a dirty shaft to the surface like an eel gifted flight. His wings were soaked from sewage water, so he did not fly. He bolted across the open field, laughing like a madman.

"Yes! YESSSS!"

His foot crossed a boundary line he never could have seen. Grian charged straight into a shrieker trap laced with TNT. Set them all off. He died to the gasping cheers of a Red who'd only just finished all the set-up. The last thing he ever heard was the "OH-hoh-hoh-ohhh!" of a shrieking onlooker. He blew up instantly, scarlet feathers and blobs of purple soul energy scattered in all directions. The central core melted free from flesh and dribbled to the ground in a gooey heap.

In a word? Perma-killed. The totem vaporized before anyone ever confirmed he had it, so people seek it in the Southlands even now (It might be right here; it's been hiding right here).

This story is not about that Grian. Not anymore. It's about the one who lived… whose memories do not match this world at all.

[ Full 'fic up on AO3 ]

[burnwater13]

The droid teacher was droning on about hyperspace travel and smuggling and Grogu wondered why she didn’t just hand each of the children in the class room a blaster pistol and an eyepatch. They were all going to be pirates or smugglers based on what she was teaching them. 

He sighed. He was bored. His dad had dumped him at the school and gone off on an adventure without him and he didn’t really want to be pirate or a smuggler. Nope, he wanted to be a starship pilot. And not something crummy like a Tie Fighter pilot, where your ship didn’t even have a hyperdrive. Nope, he wanted to pilot something awe inspiring and useful, like a S-161-XL. 

You’ve never seen one? No surprise there, not many were made. A luxury yacht with a rotating wing design, their purpose was to make your friends green with envy. Or just filled with envy. Either way.  

What’s useful about a star yacht? First they have a great galley and a persevere and droid chef built in that could make any kind of food for any kind of person. No more ration packs and dried packets of stuff that turned out to be mostly made from vegetable fibers. 

Second, a star yacht has cabins with the most comfortable beds known to exist in the whole galaxy. Soft, slippery, bouncy, and warm. Importantly, there were at least two of them on the S-161-XL, which meant that Grogu wouldn’t need to listen to his dad snore unless he was missing that sound. Trust him, that’s not a sound you miss. 

Third, one of the cabins had a private privy and fresher. And they were custom designed to the owner/operator’s needs. Grogu wouldn’t have to use the Force to access switches, buttons, and valves any more. That would be a welcome change of pace. 

Fourth, beyond the creature comforts he’d just described, the bridge of the vessel could also be custom designed with his needs in mind. While he initially thought of the whole thing being made to his person specifications, he realized that he wanted his dad to be able to fly the ship once in a while as well, so instead of a tiny bridge, it would have a gliding pilot’s seat for him that allowed him to access all the necessary controls and would still give his dad room to move around. That seemed like a fair compromise. 

Fifth, most of the starships Grogu had ever seen were dull, like those stupid Tie Fighters buzzing overhead. Not the shooting and flying part, the black paint job part. An S-161-XL could be painted any color he wanted and if he wanted it to be painted like the lava flats, or Tatooine’s Dune Sea, he could get that at a small, extra cost. 

That was the sort of thing that Grogu knew that he couldn’t let his dad help him with. Din Djarin was perfectly happy with ship’s grey. Something about bounty hunters not wanting to stand out. Grogu always laughed at that considering how shiny his dad’s armor was. You could see reflections off him in a dark cabin. There was hiding being a Mandalorian for him. 

Finally, Grogu liked the esthetics of the ship’s design. It spoke to him. It said things like, ‘I’ll feed you well, keep you warm, give you a place where you belong, and help you reach your destination, safe and sound’. Grogu liked those things. 

Not that the Razor Crest hadn’t been a great ship in its own right. It had. But it’s best days were behind it. How many times could it be rebuilt and not show the signs of wear and tear. Especially tear. Spiders, X-wings, even Tie fighters, had left a mark on the ship. Then falling into the ocean. Being repaired by Mon Calamari, or as Din Djarin described it, ‘being redecorated as a Mon Calamari all you could eat seafood bar’. A score of other insults to the hull’s integrity, the ship’s reliability, and Grogu’s diminished willingness to fall out of his hammock had ruined his affection for the craft. It was a pity. 

But at least it wasn’t a Tie Fighter. 

[sebastianshaw]

hello I randomly want to talk about how in the 80s, the X-Men broke into the HFC on Shaw TWICE when he actually wasn't doing ANYTHING and I think that's REALLY FUNNY.  The first time was like. . .such a day for Shaw. So it starts with when Selene “auditions” for Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, she does it by literally walking in, being introduced, and trying to murder Sebastian Shaw on the spot. Seriously. That is what she does. And by Shaw’s own admission, she nearly succeeds.

which, you know, probably enough for one day, right? yah no Within that same issues (X-Men Classic #93) on that very day, Magma and Rachel sneak in to the Hellfire Club where they have tracked Selene, as both of them have a grudge against her. They try to kill her, but she turns the tables and mentally enslaves them. Just as she shows them to Sebastian and he’s giving her THE MOST GLOWERING SIDE-EYE EVER, Rachel uses her powers to turn herself and Magma loose from Selene’s control, the latter of whom GOES BERSERK and starts WRECKING THE PLACE  And then Selene starts fighting them, FURTHER WRECKING THE PLACE, and then all of a sudden the X-Men LITERALLY BREAK DOWN A WALL to come save them and one of them is like LET’S GO SHAW and Shaw just says “Abducting you brats wasn’t my idea Charles” and like…god, this poor man?! At least that’s what I’d say if Shaw wasn’t such a ROYAL DOUCHE but like Imagine getting up in the morning, going into your usual place, then a lady SHOWS UP AND TRIES TO MURDER YOU AT RANDOM and then once that’s done, all of a sudden there’s two teenagers having a super-powered fight in your foyer with earthquakes and lava and shit and THEN a bunch of superheroes BREAK THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WALL and are threatening you and your just like I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

I like to think he's still hounding Charles to pay for the door/wall the XMen destroyed and then there's the second time, where they break in not because they thought HE was doing anything but because. . . -checks notes- Uh, because they're chasing after a lil green alien who is on a scavenger hunt and one of the items was the Black Queen costume Shaw just found the X-Men in his basement for no reason  and while they’re fighting him, a green alien literally inflates itself into one of Selene’s costumes and flies off with it so Storm just BLOWS A HOLE IN THE CEILING and chases after the alien and brings the rest of the X-Men with her via a twister but this was in the BASEMENT so she must have just taken out like…every floor between the roof and the basement in addition to the roof itself

and this is just Shaw’s day today and he never gets any explanation for ANY OF THIS also yeah that’s Emma on the altar thing, that’s where they were keeping her in the basement. while she was in a coma No IVs, no bedpans, no anything, just this Snow White setup, it’s weird af and also HOW IS SHE ALIVE

but yeah so this is like twice now the X-Men have just wrecked his place when he wasn’t doing a damn thing and doubtless cost him tons in repairs and I for one find it HILARIOUS and have no doubt he is hounding Charles for reimbursement TO THIS DAY

[razieltwelve]

Dreams of Blood and Steel (The Vestige)

Lightning walked, and the earth trembled beneath her feet. Her legs carried her past the waves that lapped against the shore and into deep water, and her stride never faltered. Eyes that could pierce the gloom of the deep ocean did not so much as blink as she slipped beneath the waves.

Only blood and steel awaited her.

The howl and roar of fal’Cie. The thunder of steel fists that could smash mountains. The shriek of plasma discharge so violent it boiled tracts of the ocean, and the acrid hiss of molten lava as it ate away at armour designed to withstand the very worst the enemy could throw at it.

Over the comms, the frantic cries of operators and pilots alike. Attack designations called out, positions analysed, and tactics forwarded. Her own voice, stern and unyielding, but beneath the calm, an ache and weariness so deep her soul hurt.

Just a little bit further. The thought rang through through three minds.

She turned.

Fang was there beside her.

The Vestige was there before her.

Just a little bit further.

Just.

A.

Little.

Bit.

BOOM.

X     X     X

Lightning’s eyes opened, and she dragged in several deep breaths. She tried to stand, but her leg gave way beneath her. She would have fallen completely if she hand’t managed to angle herself back toward the bed.

“Lightning?” Fang stirred, eyes wide with concern. “What’s wrong?”

The Grand Marshal replied, “I’m fine. Just a dream.”

“Must have been some dream,” Fang murmured. “What... what was it about?”

“The last battle. I think I saw it from Serah’s eyes.”

“Not a dream then,” Fang said. “You were ghost drifting with her again.”

Lightning shuddered and put her hands around her ruined leg. Despite everything else in the dream, it was the sensation of strength, of being able to walk easily on her own two feet that lingered. That... and piloting Odin again. Was it strange to miss something that had cost her so much?

Her whole life had been a battle, one fight after another. But in Odin, she had never lost. In Odin, she had always been strong enough to win. Was it wrong to want to feel like that all the time?

“We should go back to sleep,” Lightning said at last. “We’ve got another press conference to do tomorrow.”

Fang chuckled. “I’m one of the all-conquering heroes, Lightning, and you’re the Grand Marshal. There are action figures of us.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Lightning got back into bed and relaxed as Fang put her arms around her. The ache in her leg dulled, and her eyes closed. The last sensation she was aware of was something close to ants crawling under her skin. Strangely, it wasn’t unpleasant. Instead, it was almost welcome.

X     X     X

“Hold up!” Vanille raised one hand. “Guys! Stop!”

The repair crews stopped. “What is it?”

“I’m picking up some weird activity in Odin,” the professor said. “Just give it a chance to settle.”

“Will it take long?” one of the crewmen asked. “They want Odin in top condition by the end of the month.” He patted the Eidolon fondly. “They’re throwing him and the other Eidolons a damn parade. He deserves it. He’s never lost a battle, and he won the most important battle too.”

“Heh. That’s right.” Vanille smirked. “Best record for an Eidolon.”

“You know,” the crewman said. “A lot of people were freaking out at the end there, what with us being so outnumbered and all, but I had a feeling we’d all it out. When it came down to that last big son of a bitch and Odin, I knew we’d won. He wasn't going to lose that fight, not with Serah and Fang piloting and the Grand Marshal overseeing things.”

Vanille glanced back at her display. “Okay, back to work guys. The activity has settled.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Just something that came to mind. There’s a reason that they never changed Odin’s neural linking system. It’s where the ghost in the machine lives.

[melodyfsoul1]

My DreamSMP Head Canons:

c!Foolish

Species: Shark Totem Demigod

- c!Foolish is immortal, meaning he cant die of old age, but a critical injury can kill him (the amount of his canon lives is unknown)

Being a god he can shapeshift into multiple forms

1) Sky/Life & Death God, a humanoid Totem of Undying, resembling a golden statue with colorful scarab wings, in this form he can control Life & the skies/ weather. The Totem of Death is basically the same as the 1st, but with faded colors, and red instead of green markings, he controls Death

2) Ocean God, a human or golden shark/ (merman) esque monster. He has gills & lungs so he can breathe under & over water. He controls the ocean/tides, is more feral and shark like and automatically shifts into this form when fully emerged in water

3) Human, 6'1f, looks like ccFoolish, but wears egyptian style clothing around the Summer Home.

- He owns a Snowchester uniform and a couple of fancy clothes for special events

- He never uses this form because he feels vulnerable by his limited human abilities, only c!Eret has ever seen it

4) God Form, a humanoid golden Totem with scarab wings and a shark hood, gills, claws and shark teeth, controls all attributes of the weather, tides, Life & Death

- c!Foolish heals in the light of his beacon in his pyramid or in water (2nd one takes a lot longer tho)

- his Totem body is made of solid gold, including organs etc, and he bleeds liquid Emerald

- since c!Foolish's body is solid gold, he doesnt get affected by temperatures unless its extreme heat like lava and can not be hurt by regular hand to hand combat, but is vulnerable to materials harder/ more dense than gold, like Diamond or Netherite Weapons

- scars on his golden skin look like kinstugi, a "Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum"

- He hides the scars from the Red Banquet at all costs, under golden armor & accessoires to not be reminded of death /feel vulnerable

- I imagine c!Foolish to be a younger god, somewhere around 900 years

- being a Totem, c!Foolish can feel if a soul dies and gets resurrected. The first feels like a bad feeling washing over you, the resurrection causes him physical pain since its unnatural

- c!Foolish can revive people at will, but it takes one of his own lives in return

- when reviving people and when he dies the sound of a Totem popping can be heard

- because his death & respawn, works different from mortals, his actual body never disappears like it normaly would, so critical injuries will leaves scars

- when c!Antfrost killed c!Foolish at the Banquet it took him 2 attacks to kill him fully. The first strike was a sword through his back & chest, but that didnt kill him immediately, so c!Ant went for the neck decapitating him

- the only time when c!Foolish respawned, was at the Red Banquet when the Egg surpressed his powers, his body turned to gold dust and he respawned in his pyramid. This is why c!Foolish was in denial after his death, he had never died like a normal mortal before / wasnt aware he even could die like that

- c!Foolish's personality as a young god was wild, carefree, arrogant, angry, blood thirsty and had no appreciation for life

- after becoming a Totem of Life, he  avoided violence, treated living beings with care, is very protective, loyal, patient, cheerful & friendly to you if you treat him well.

- c!Foolish may seem like a gentle giant, but he is no pushover & not naive, considering his long life experience. He can stand his ground, uses his abilities when needed to intimidate and is observing and cunning.

- After the Red Banquet he became a lot more reserved again, stressed, anxious and paranoid with the fear of dying, desiring his immortality back which is why he made the deal with DreamXD

- c!Foolish is aware of Lady Death and is a lower god under her & DreamXD

- the only person c!Foolish considers to be his close friend is c!Eret, but he gets along with most people he interacts with. Other people he has some sort of attachment to are c!Puffy, c!Ponk, c!Sam, c!Ranboo, c!Michael, c!Tubbo and c!Aimsey

- c!Foolish can give life to objects like Totems, which is how he "got" his children, c!Puffy brought him a normal Totem of Undying and c!Foolish gave life to it

- doing so, Totems start morphing from a regular Totem/Object to a living being, limbs & abilities growing over time (like a tadpole)

- Depending on what kind of nature the Totem God is, they have different attributes & animal body parts. Foolish Jr. has wings since he is a Sky Totem, and Finley has shark fins since she is an Ocean Totem

Plus some old concept art I made of my c!Foolish design, its a bit outdated, but I still like it a lot

[rainofdauwuand0w0]

[original twitter post date 4/11/21] times have changed

scout:

Scout's Personal Rifle

+150% ammo capacity and clip size +50% damage You can scope in but move 25% slower While scoped, headshots mini-crit Crits boosting just gives you mini crits instead -50% reload speed

Agitated ale

Upon drinking: Gain +75% melee damage and instantly swap to melee, the effect lasts for 10 seconds though in those ten seconds, you can't switch off melee -90% recharge rate

Spy and Engie's Gift

+15% damage Upon hitting back: mini-crit

-15% swing speed

Alt-fire: +80% throw range Upon throw: wherever the ball lands is where you will be teleported to +55% arc speed -120% recharge speed

Soldier:

Tavish's Rum-powered Launcher

+35% splash damage +10% projectile speed +15% max primary ammo On hit: make enemies "drunk" (Drunk = tilt FOV and invert movement controls) -25% fire rate -15% direct damage

Tavish's Chugger

On wearer: +25% healing from all sources -15% movement speed +25% damage taken from fire

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+55% recharge rate On use: give allies the ability to make enemies "drunk" but during the 12 second duration, you are "drunk"

Kara-Choke-E

On wearer: Your footsteps are 20% louder

---

+10% damage +10% swing speed On hit: enemies footsteps will be 75% louder for 4.5 seconds

Pyro:

Texan's Warming Gift

+200% max primary ammo Primary fire shoots a ball of lava that is slightly slower then short circuit but 5% more damage and causes burning -40% repressurization rate

--

Alt-fire: -70% airblast cost Is an Explosion that knocks back like a rocket

Casual Offheater

On wearer: +20% movement speed You give a huo-long heater type ring that surrounds you but it's 15% bigger and it happens 10% more often

Telegrammed Bash

+35% damage Upon hitting ground: launch yourself upwards ten feet Upon killing enemies: teleport their body back to their spawn -15% swing speed

Demoman:

Ameri-7 Nade Launcher

+10% damage +15% projectile speed Infinite reserve On hit: slow for 50% speed -75% clip size -40% reload speed

Gifted Liberty Wings

On wearer: +100% air strafe control +4 jumps +35% jump height No fall damage and can glide slowly down

Thick Skull Brew

+15% holster and deploy speed +5% damage and swing speed

--

Dealing damage with any weapon charges a bar after 355 is dealt, taunt to gain +75% reload speed and fire rate for your primary for 7 seconds

Heavy:

Kirobard's Mini

+80% bullets per shot +35% damage Fires like a fully auto shotty +80% bullet spread -30% range -30% accuracy

Personal Tosty

+80% recharge rate +50% consumption speed Upon consumption: +60% movement for 5 seconds but for 3 seconds after, marked for death and -10% movement speed

The Bio Robo-Proto

On wearer: +25% consumption speed +25% switch speed +10 hp

--

+25% damage On every 3rd consecutive hit, you'll crit -50% swing speed No random crits

Engineer:

Pyro's Travelling gift

+100% max primary ammo When you fire the grapple, it acts like a 50% overall stronger manpower grapple -75% fire rate

Mini-Supplier

On wearer: +100% max metal +50 hp +50% more metal gained from all ammo packs -35% movement speed

The Technicians's Manual Upgrade

+50% metal to upgrade ratio All buildings gain one more level -50% metal to repair ratio -30% damage -25% swing speed [Lvl 4 sentry gains a second rocket launcher] [Lvl 4 dispenser gains +50% range and even more metal regen] [Lvl 4 tele +50% rate]

medic:

Greyman's Personal Spine

On wearer:

+100 hp -80% weapon switch speed

Liquid Mixer

+65% holster and deploy speed -15% heal speed

--

Ubercharge: your target and you gain an extra jump and your target gains the ability to give enemies jarate on hit that lasts 8 seconds

Deal Dodger's Gift

While held: heal all allies for +1 up per second that are nearby -100% damage

Sniper:

The Hidden Sight

You have no dot -50% fire rate -30% damage -25% slower charge speed

Hitman's Lister's Container

On wearer: +75% life steal on all weapons On kill: Gain +10% speed per kill (max 8) -25% movement speed

Squeeter's Poker

+100% life steal on hit -65% damage -40% swing speed

Spy:

The Homemaker

+25% ammo capacity Single-fire breach load gun like a flare gun You fire baseball's out that stun people you headshot for 5 seconds Deals a Flat 45 damage

Batter's KeyChain

+25% holster and deploy speed +100% faster backstab raise animation On backstab:stun that person for 11 seconds -75% damage

Channel Changer

Move around buildings randomly every 20 seconds Silent sap -100% sapper damage

Heartfelt Timer

Gain full overheal upon cloaking -25% speed when cloaked -50% recharge rate

[jafanadis]

Full Name: Lellain Bratriani

Nickname: Loki, Hermes, Funny Man, Lathyros, Joker, Son Goku, Saru, Little Boy Blue

Age: 20

Gender: Transmasc (He/Him)

Orientation: Het

Height: 4’5

Species: Otacaian (Opar-Han)

Nationality: Ulgardian

Occupation: Gunsmith, Gunner

Alliance: The Jade Owls

Alignment: Protagonist

Theme Song: Overload by Life of Dillon

Character Song: Kaidoku Funou by Jinn Instrumental

Voice Claim: Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5 (Max Mittelman)

About

Lellain grew up in a large, male dominated family in Ulgard in the Golar Sodality. Although assigned female at birth, he always felt that he was male. As he grew older, he began to have more and more conflicts with his grandfather, the head of his family, over this. These conflicts came to a head when Lellain turned 17, he came to a town meeting wearing pants to humiliate his grandfather after a fight. Enraged, Lellain's grandfather ordered the males of the family to beat Lellain up and shave his head, which they did. He was then subsequently thrown onto the street and disowned by his family. Only one family member, his aunt Naane, who was also disowned by the family for her unconventional nature as a female took him under her wing and together, they left the Golar Sodality for parts unknown. Years after that horrible event, Lellain met Suri and she instantly became a big sister figure towards him. He was attracted to her because she was trans too and he never met anyone like him before. She helped him adequately transition by stealing money to get top surgery for him and giving him special herbal supplements which deepened his voice. Lellain was beyond grateful to Suri for doing this for him and their bond remains strong, even after they did crimes together, got arrested by the Jithran Senate together, staged a jailbreak and stole a prototype prison ship together and...formed The Jade Owls together. Lellain is now the gunsmith of the Falaina, managing and repairing its defenses, especially its guns and cannons!

Personality

Russell often compares Lellain to the Norse God Loki or the Greek God Hermes. Lellain is a rowdy, loud, exuberant, mischievous guy who just has a penchant for teasing and pranks. Despite his cheerful nature, he can let his past get to him and he can have days where he can be serious and grouchy. He can have super low lows and really high highs.

Miscellaneous

Lellain speaks with an accent which, to Human ears, sounds like a mixture Hiberno-English and Scottish English (similar to Jacksepticeye and Scrooge McDuck)

Lellain has the power of Terrakinesis, meaning he the ability to manipulate elements derived from the earth. He can levitate rocks and stones, compress earthly matter, carve stones, create permanent impressions in solid rock, he also has powers over salt, gemstones, crystals, lava, and coals. He also has the ability to create small earthquakes.

Lellain is the Jade Owls' self-proclaimed troublemaker, a position he takes very seriously! He enjoys playing jokes and pranks on his teammates, though he can get out of hand sometimes. He also has a penchant for corny jokes. He’s one of those people who enjoys seeing others smile.

He can get very excitable, frequently expressing his excitement by screaming, dancing, twirling and flailing his arms.

He is an absolute maniac when it comes to explosives as well as guns and cannons, he really enjoys working with them to the point he is obsessed with them.

Lellain has a rather poor impulse control and can get very hyperactive.

Despite the fact that he is in a relationship with Suri, he is a sucker for beautiful ladies, he is a flirtatious player through and through.

If there is one thing Lellain loves more than anything else in the world, its sugar in all forms. Candies, pastries, honey. He has an immense sweet tooth and when he smells something sweet he wants to try it at all cost.

His absolute favorite dish is Root Stew, the signature dish of the Golars. He will guzzle it down no matter what’s in it, and if it’s in a bread bowl, he will munch it down. Traditional Golar Root Stew is made mainly of Vegetable Broth with light spices, root vegetables with greens and a little bit of meat. He likes to challenge Chaat to make different varieties of Root Stew, but he really dislikes it spicy.

Like almost all Golars, Lellain absolutely hates the sight of bare feet, that is a very dirty part of the body for him and the most unattractive part of a person’s body to him is feet.

At 4’5 or 134 Centimeters, Lellain is the second shortest member of the Jade Owls behind Suri. His short size and portly body frame can sometimes make him slow when running.

Owing to his past in the Golar Sodality, Lellain has a deep disrespect for authority figures, knights, police, etc. and he is particularly distrustful and disrespectful to elderly males in positions of authority, because he equates them to his grandfather.

Unlike most Golars, Lellain has a very low alcohol tolerance and can get drunk pretty quickly and when he does he can get pretty silly and stoned.

Russell gave Lellain the nickname Láthyros (Λάθυρος) which translates to Chickpea or Sweetpea in Greek. Russell chose this nickname for Lellain because Lellain can be mischievous, impish, and impulsive and also because his skin is a light periwinkle color like dark sweet peas.

Otacaia, and all of its characters, species, races, information, et al © Jafan Adis, 2022-2024, All Rights Reserved.

[mobilerepairingcoursessimar]

Which Mobile Phones are Made in India

India has emerged as a powerhouse in the global mobile phone market, not just as a consumer base but also as a manufacturing hub. mobile repairing institute in Delhi, like Hi-Tech Institute, understand the growing importance of skilled professionals to maintain this momentum. But with numerous brands and models available, which mobile phones are actually manufactured in India? This blog explores the rise of "Made in India" mobile phone production and highlights some of the leading brands with manufacturing facilities in the country.

1. The Rise of "Made in India":

The Indian government's "Made in India" initiative, launched in 2015, aims to promote domestic manufacturing across various sectors. This initiative has significantly boosted mobile phone production in India. Several factors contribute to this growth:

Favorable Government Policies: Incentives like tax breaks and subsidies have attracted global mobile phone manufacturers to set up production facilities in India.

Skilled Workforce: India boasts a large pool of skilled and affordable labor, making it a cost-effective manufacturing location.

Growing Domestic Demand: India is the world's second-largest smartphone market, creating a vast domestic demand for mobile phones.

2. Leading Brands with "Made in India" Phones:

Many popular mobile phone brands have embraced "Made in India" and now manufacture phones within the country. Here are some prominent examples:

Xiaomi: Xiaomi, a Chinese electronics giant, has established several manufacturing plants in India, making it a major contributor to the "Made in India" initiative. Popular Xiaomi models like Redmi and Mi series are often manufactured in India.

Samsung: South Korean tech giant Samsung also has manufacturing facilities in India, producing a wide range of smartphones, from budget-friendly models to high-end flagships. The Galaxy series has a significant presence in "Made in India" production.

Vivo: Another Chinese brand, Vivo, has witnessed immense growth in India and has set up manufacturing units to cater to the local market. Popular Vivo models like the V series and Y series are often manufactured in India.

Oppo: Oppo, a sister company of Vivo, has also joined the "Made in India" movement with production facilities within the country. Oppo Reno and A series smartphones are frequently manufactured in India.

3. Established Indian Mobile Phone Brands:

Beyond global brands, India also boasts homegrown mobile phone manufacturers with their own production facilities:

Micromax: Micromax, a leading Indian mobile phone brand, has been a prominent player in the domestic market for years. Micromax offers a wide range of smartphones, from budget-friendly options to feature phones, all manufactured in India.

Lava: Another Indian brand, Lava, focuses on budget-friendly smartphones and feature phones, catering to the needs of a vast section of the Indian market. Lava production facilities are located within the country.

Intex: Intex, known for its affordable mobile phones and accessories, also manufactures its products in India, contributing to the local mobile phone ecosystem.

4. Benefits of Buying "Made in India" Phones:

There are several advantages to purchasing mobile phones manufactured in India:

Supporting Local Economy: Buying "Made in India" phones contributes to the growth of the domestic mobile phone industry and creates jobs.

Competitive Prices: Due to reduced import costs, "Made in India" phones can be more competitively priced compared to imported models.

Improved Quality: Government initiatives promote quality standards, leading to reliable and durable "Made in India" mobile phones.

5. How to Identify "Made in India" Phones:

While manufacturers often advertise their "Made in India" status, there are ways to identify it yourself:

Check the Phone Box: The packaging of the phone usually mentions the country of origin.

Look for "Made in India" Stickers: Many phones have a sticker on the back panel indicating the country of manufacture.

Verify Online: Manufacturer websites and online retailers usually specify the country of origin for their products.

6. Importance of Mobile Repair Professionals:

With the increasing reliance on mobile phones, the demand for skilled mobile repair professionals is also growing. Mobile repairing courses offered by Hi-Tech Institute can equip you with the knowledge and skills to diagnose and repair various mobile phone issues.

7. A Rewarding Career Path in Mobile Repair:

The mobile phone repair industry offers promising career opportunities. With a growing shortage of skilled professionals (currently facing a shortage of 18 lakh mobile repairing engineers), qualified mobile repair technicians can potentially earn ₹40,000 to ₹50,000 per month.

The "Made in India" initiative has significantly transformed India's mobile phone landscape. By supporting "Made in India" phones, you contribute to the local economy, potentially benefit from competitive pricing, and enjoy reliable products. mobile repairing institute, like Hi-Tech Institute, play a crucial role in maintaining this momentum by nurturing a skilled workforce.

Invest in Your Future with Hi-Tech Institute:

Considering a career in mobile repair? The demand for skilled professionals is booming, and mobile repairing course in Delhi from Hi-Tech Institute can equip you with the expertise to thrive in this dynamic field. Established in 2004 (founded on January 4, 2004), Hi-Tech Institute has empowered over 3 lakh students with the knowledge and skills to diagnose and address mobile phone hardware and software issues. Embrace a rewarding career path and contribute to the ever-evolving mobile phone industry with Hi-Tech Institute!

Join Hi-Tech Institute today and unlock your potential in the world of mobile repair.

[lifewiththelulus]

This is how I imagine that conversation starts XD

Kindlin stopping by the flower shop to ask plume a bunch of questions randomly XD She gonna do her research "What do you like to eat? Do you need constant heat like fire? What can make you sick?" She hopes what she's doing isn't super obvious but she doesn't know who else to ask questions lol

He's more than happy to help if not slightly exasperated with her attempts to seem casual. He's more than aware of how unlikely it was he even exists so he wants the best for them too. He likes drawing with charcoal but it doubles as a snack. A new meaning to chewing on your pencil. There's some questions he has to brave hearing his parents embarrassing stories to answer. It's not that they weren't friends before but she knows significantly less about him than Hazel and Mimi so all of a sudden her trying to get his help is like "well if it isn't my favorite element who is always so helpful to his friends what's up bro"

Lmao yeah XD Shes like "heyyyyy what's up buddy, one of my favorite florists! How ya dooiiin?"

i can imagine how elated flint and misty are to see another pair like them flourishing

Lol I can only imagine her face when she realizes they know what she's up to

Misty gives kindlin a personal line on one of their business cards. "Please call us if you need anything" wink

She's just bows her head in embarrassment and nods, though she's happy to have someone with some sort of guidance in this area. How'd they meet tho Did plume tell them about the fire girl bothering him with weird questions? Lol

Well once plume started going to them about the questions he couldn't answer they were more than a little curious why

Cirrus would go to Flint to ask for advice on how to be ready once her wife is pregnant.

"heh there's never really a playbook for elements like us who are crazy enough to break the barrier. Much as we've tried. For us we'd ended up believing it would never happen so when it did I can tell you I nearly had a flare up. Feels like a rollercoaster but what I can tell you is to trust your instincts and never doubt each other. Oh and get plastic covers for literally everything you own you'll have soot everywhere in no time flat ha".

Cirrus: Oh… well thank you, sir, I'm happy that you could share that with me but when I said "If she does get pregnant what should I do." I meant more in the sense of how to make Kindlin comfortable, like should I expect cravings, will she need help getting up? ^^; She feels so bad for ruining that moment after he shared something so personal XD

He might put on a lot of bravado but he's very easy to fluster. " ah well you'll have to forgive this old man and his waxing poetic. I'm not quite sure how it'll translate after all I didn't actually have the baby thank the blue flame" practically slaps his knee at his own jokes. "But Misty I recall could hardly eat anything she used too. She started wanting the stuff I had imported from home. Maybe plume just wanted something more fire, who knows. She never felt cold enough nearly blew away one day when she put on a dozen fans in the office."

"my own mom used to tell me it was like have a lump of coal weighing you down all day so I'd imagine your wife will need some extra attention towards the end. And not to gross you out young lady but well, you must be sure you know exactly when the babies coming because a water break aint so bad but a lava one, now that could cost ya in repairs. "

Cirrus: That last one will definitely be a big help, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the food situation though, Kindlin can't eat our food, It evaporates as soon as it gets close to her mouth.

"when you get to be as old as I am you realize you can eat just about anything if you throw it in a blender first hehe. Whenever A few times Misty wanted me to try something I tried mixing it with my lava java. Not perfect but hey"

Cirrus: Huh. Blending… I think that might just work. Um… I do have one more question though. It's silly to think about but I can't help but worry… what if they don't like me?

His face softens with the kind of knowing only a parent can have "you know with plume, I was sure I would end up like my parents, that Id push him away and he'd know it somehow even as a little puff of smoke. But I tell you once you actually lay eyes on em, it won't matter, even if they hated you you know youd do anything for em. But if it means anything to you the fact that you even worry about it tells me there's no way they won't love you. I think they have a way of knowing"

[paincorpsrarefinds]

OneShot Vintage Lava Lamp Repair Concentrate Drop-In Fluid Fix Your Broken Lamp

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[v-l-d-s]

Mechanauts’ Guild

For centuries, the pinnacle of mechanized vehicles was the apparatus of the crab, a singular device capable of exploring inhospitable environments, from the sea floor to lava-strewn volcanic fields. However, ambitious craftsmen from the Mechanauts’ Guild have drawn up designs for a new vehicle, mightier and more customizable than the old apparatus. This device is a walking tank, equipped with savage fists, scuttling legs, and climate control enhancements—a vehicle to dwarf all others, a true feat of engineering.

MECHANAUT'S APPARATUS At 3rd level, you complete the frame of a Mechanaut’s Apparatus, with ample room for upgrades and improvements. Its blueprints are based on the apparatus of the crab, but you can model your apparatus after any beast or as a humanoid figure. Apparatus Statistics. The statistics of your apparatus are given in the Mechanaut’s Apparatus stat block. The apparatus’s Armor Class is based on your Intelligence modifier and its hit points are based on your craftsman level. Customizing the Apparatus. Your apparatus comes with two installed masterwork melee weapons, which you can modify with masterwork properties or replace with different melee weapons when you finish a long rest. Your apparatus is always proficient with its installed weapons, and can use masterwork weapons with Master and Legendary properties. Repairing the Apparatus. When your apparatus drops to 0 hit points, it can’t move or act, but can be repaired. You can spend 1 minute restoring the apparatus’s ability to move at half speed, which it loses if it takes damage again before it is repaired. You can repair your apparatus at the end of a short rest by spending Hit Dice, causing it to regain hit points as if it had taken a short rest. When you finish a long rest, you can repair your apparatus, causing it to regain all its hit points. You are always considered to have enough materials to repair your apparatus. If your apparatus is lost, you can build a new one for 400 gp. Entering and Exiting the Apparatus. A creature that isn’t wearing armor can use half its movement to enter or exit the apparatus. While within the apparatus, a creature has total cover from effects originating outside of it. Only one Medium or Small creature can be in the apparatus at a time. While inside the apparatus, a creature takes half the damage the apparatus takes.

Piloting the Apparatus. Your apparatus acts on your turn, though it doesn’t take actions unless you are piloting it. Any creature inside the apparatus can command it to move (no action required), but only you can use your action to pilot the apparatus, commanding it to take the Attack, Dash, Disengage, or Dodge action. When you command the apparatus to take the Attack action, the apparatus makes the same number of attacks you would make using the Attack action, and uses your Dexterity or Intelligence modifier (your choice) for its attack and damage rolls, as if you were making the attack. While you are outside the apparatus, you can command the apparatus to wait or follow you. While following, it moves on its turn to remain within 30 feet of you.

COCKPIT UPGRADE At 3rd level, you can customize your apparatus by upgrading its piloting compartment. Choose one of the following upgrades: Comfortable Amenities. The interior of the apparatus is particularly cozy, perhaps even including a warm blanket and pillow. You can sleep while within the apparatus without ill effect. Ejector Seat. This apparatus comes equipped with an emergency ejection system, allowing for quick escape. Exiting this apparatus costs no movement. Loudspeaker. The apparatus comes equipped with a system that magnifies your voice up to three times as loud as normal.

LIMB UPGRADE By 7th level, you have redesigned your apparatus’s legs to achieve better mobility. Choose one of the following upgrades: Arachnotron Legs. The apparatus can move up, down, and across vertical surfaces and ceilings, and it gains a climbing speed equal to its walking speed. Heavy Suspension. The apparatus’s jump distance triples, and it takes no damage from falling a distance of less than 100 feet. Telescopic Frame. While no one is inside the apparatus, you can use your bonus action to command it to collapse down to Medium size or return to Large size. While collapsed in this way, the apparatus can’t be entered.

PASSENGER SEAT Starting at 10th level, you have installed a second seat inside the cockpit. A creature can’t pilot the apparatus or command it to move from this second seat, but the creature does benefit from total cover from outside effects and take half the damage taken by the apparatus.

ATTACHMENT UPGRADE Beginning at 14th level, you have installed an external attachment to your apparatus. Choose one of the upgrades below. Once you use the installed upgrade, you must finish a short or long rest before you can use it again. Abjuration Generator. You have installed a magical shield generator on the outside of your apparatus. You can activate it as a bonus action, granting your apparatus temporary hit points equal to your craftsman level.

Flak Cannon. On the front of your apparatus, you have installed a single-shot shrapnel cannon, which you can use your action to fire at a creature you can see within 120 feet of you. The target must make a Dexterity saving throw against your Masterwork save DC, taking 6d6 slashing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. Rocket Engine. You can use your bonus action to light the apparatus’s installed rocket engine, propelling you up to 30 feet in a straight line in any direction you choose. If you make a melee attack immediately after this movement, the attack is made with advantage. On a hit, this attack knocks the target prone or pushes it up to 10 feet away from you (your choice).

LEGENDARY PROPERTY At 18th level, you achieve the peak of your craft. You learn the following Legendary masterwork property, which you can immediately apply to a masterwork weapon: PNEUMATIC Legendary weapon property Components: Masterwork exotic melee weapon If this weapon is installed in a mechanaut’s apparatus and it deals more than one die of damage on a hit, whenever you roll damage, you can maximize one of the weapon’s damage dice instead of rolling it.

[sekhisadventures]

Open for Business

Bilgewater Harbor, Approximately One Month After Jastor Gallywix and the Bilgewater Cartel Formally Joined the Horde

Hammering, sawing, wielding, the occasional scream followed by an explosion. Work was underway on the island in the middle of Azshara’s new bay to build a replacement for the goblin’s lost home in Kezan. All around the edge were the local roughnecks, gunslingers, tinkerers, and of course the five members of Jastor’s elite Gob Squad keeping back the Naga who had been really un-co-operative about the whole thing, and inside the island buildings were going up (sometimes literally if the charge detonated too soon) and deals were being made.

War was coming, both with the Alliance due to Garrosh’s new plans about expanding to the northwest into the Night Elves’ ancestral home of Ashenvale Forest and with the renewed forces of the Twilight’s Hammer following Deathwing’s return. The Horde needed weapons and when it came to weapons nobody made them as big, as flashy, or as destructive as goblins.

Certainly not as flashy anyways. If you needed something blown up you could call on a tauren shaman or a blood elf magister, but if you needed it blown up by a giant robot chicken that flew over the battlefield blasting heavy metal music while raining egg-shaped grenades you called a goblin.

Grimo however, needed capital for that. He needed money for the ol’ R&D before he could make something that could win the war for the Horde (or, at the very least, make some serious noise) and to that effect he had to go into the other thing the Horde needed.

Namely, people good at killing shit.

Grimo was a portly goblin approaching middle age with large bat-like ears and purple eyes, a chin that seemed to perpetually sport a layer of stubble, and fingers forever dyed black with grease, oil, and cigar ash. Hard bitten and harder headed, he’d been a tinkerer on Kezan all his life until some asshole dragon decided to make Mount Kajaro erupt and bury his home under molten lava.

“Yeah yeah, we’ll keep yer resume on file buddy.” he said to an orc hunter fresh out of the Valley of Trials who bragged he could hit a bird in mid-flight over the island and had instead wound up landing an arrow squarely in the backside of a goblin working on the defensive walls of Bilgewater Harbor. “NEXT!” shouted Grimo, taking a long pull from his cigar.

He cursed and grumbled under his breath. All the best fighters seemed to go to the big guilds, leaving him with the ones who were too clumsy, too stupid, too naïve, or too much ‘collateral damage’ for anyone else. He’d even had a freakin’ human turn up, though he’s pretty sure that Donald moron just got lost on his way to Darnassus. He’d wondered how the heck he even got into Bilgewater Harbor past all the twitchy guys on the coast anyways.

He shrugged as the next applicant walked up, “Right right, welcome ta Grimo’s Savage United. Whats yer thing ehhh…” he shuffled some papers on his table, then squinted up into the face of an elderly orc before puzzling out the name, “Krug’thor?” he tried.

The orc grunted, “Krag’thar Stoneshaper. My guild disbanded after the Lich King was defeated. I served with honor in Northrend but none of the other guilds want an old orc. I wish to die gloriously in battle!” he snapped, trying to straighten up, then wincing and leaning back onto his staff. His armor definitely looked like it was from that war, though clearly not well kept. Perhaps the orc had fallen on hard times and couldn’t afford the repair costs.

Grimo looked over the resume, “Hrm… achievements… yeah yeah… okay yeah you’ll do. Shamans can fix people so we can at least trust ya to patch the rest of us up if we get our asses kicked.” he nodded, putting the resume in a box marked out on chalk on his table as ‘approved.’

The orc grinned, “Good! You won’t be disappointed, where is the rest of this Savage United then?” he asked.

“Yer lookin’ at him.” replied Grimo.

The orc’s face fell, but he glanced back at the line and, well, quite a few guilds were forming now that the world seemed to have been torn asunder by the Black Dragon’s wake. It could just be another new one.

Grimo gestured to a row of rickety wooden chairs set up nearby as the orc shrugged and stomped over, seeming to just be grateful to sit down.

“Great… just me ‘n an orc who’s almost dead… whats next?” he grumbled, then looked up and made a face. It would seem the next one wasn’t almost dead. “Uh… huh…” he dug through the papers, “Sez here yer name is… Mola’raum?”

“Dat be right bruddah.” the troll replied, some of the greener recruits (figuratively, not literally green of course) were starting to back away. They may have proven themselves in Northrend, but nobody felt entirely at ease around people like him.

Mola’raum was tall, but then trolls always were. He wore long robes with metal plates here and there, a spear balanced over his shoulder with sickly green runes set into the blade. He was also, very very clearly, dead.

A Death Knight, an undead warrior brought back to serve in the Scourge who had managed to rebel against the will of the Lich King and broke away to fight for the Horde (or Alliance in some cases) rather than against them.

His skin was a pale unhealthy shade of green the same that some troll corpses would get after a few months of decomposition and his eye sockets glowed with ghostly blue witch-fires.

“Huh, usually th' big guilds are fightin’ themselves ta get their mitts on Death Knights, why ain’t ya with one of them?” he asked.

The troll shrugged, “Eh… if I wanted ta go with a big team I be stayin’ at Acherus mon. Too noisy, yanno?” he replied.

Grimo looked around the chaos of the half-built harbor, hearing constant hammering, drilling, the hiss of wielding torches, the constant ratta-tatta-tatta of jackhammers, and of course being a goblin city in progress the occasional yell of ‘no you moron not that fuse! RUN!’ before a loud BOOM and several screams.

“… too noisy, right.” he replied, “Well, nobody kills like someone who’s job got Death in th' freakin’ name. Fine, yer in. Take a seat next ta gramps over there.” he nodded, jabbing a thumb in Krag’thar’s direction and put the troll’s paperwork ontop of Krag’thar’s.

As he did however he was suddenly aware of the sun being blocked out, the goblin looking up at a massive figure infront of him. “Hm… tauren eh? Alright... whats yer deal Bessie? Druid? Huntress? If yer a shaman that position’s been filled.” he asked, digging through the other resumes.

“Er… Nitika actually.” came a deep voice, the large bovine woman dressed in a woven set of robes and holding a thick wooden staff with a head carved into the shape of a stylized eagle. “And… I’m a Seer of An’she.” she replied.

“Seer…” he took a deep pull from his cigar, then flicked away the butt into a refuse pile nearby. “Huh, that’s the whole priest-y deal you cows got ain’t it?” he asked, the taureness wincing a bit at the word ‘cow’ but not saying anything. “Thought you guys were strictly non-combat. Back-end healers, communing with yer god, that shit.” he replied.

“Er, well, we were… but after Northrend and the Sunwalker movement began… well… An’she’s light is certainly needed right now.” she replied, the tauren blushing as she heard a few snickering noises behind her.

“… hey, ya left th' ‘achievements’ part here blank toots.” he said in a mildly accusing tone, holding up her paperwork and waving it at her.

“W-well, um… I mean… I only became a seer last month…” she replied.

The goblin sighed, “So… you’re a newb. Great.” he frowned, “Weeeeeeeell…” he looked past her seeing a tauren warrior covered with so much metal that the ground was sinking a bit under their weight, a forsaken warlock who kept giggling in a rather worrying way, and an orc rogue who grinned and licked the edge of his blade, realized he’d already poisoned it too late, and fell over in a heap on the ground. “… fuck it, I’m sick of this interview crap anyways. Whatever, you’ll either do or you won’t. Grab a chair.” he replies.

Nitika sighed with relief, well, mostly relief and clomped her way over to the chairs on her hooves, the goblin standing up on his chair, “Alright! Interviews are officially over! Rest of ya mooks CLEAR OUT!” he shouted as the crowd grumbled and dispersed, the goblin hopping off his chair and walking over to his three new hires.

“Okay, so here’s th' deal.” he said, lighting a new cigar, “We’re mercenaries. We take contracts, do what th' contract says, 'n get paid. Simple shit. Ya accept a contract, ya do it. I don’t give a shit if you get hired to run out some furblogs ‘n then find out they’re running an orphanage for disabled gnome babies or somethin'. Contract says bearman skins, you get bearman skins.” he nods, “Rewards are split sixty-forty my way. I’m th' boss so I’m the one payin’ for upkeep ‘n shit. Deal with it.” he adds.

The tauren nodded, but the troll and shaman shared a look. They both fought in Northrend after all and likely had more experience with goblins than she did… but it was paying work and its not like the Horde had anyone they could complain to about it.

“Right ya mooks! Welcome ta yer glorious new future with Grimo’s Savage United LLC!” he grinned toothly, “Yer first contracts will begin…” he started… then paused and looked behind him as a much louder than normal explosion came from behind him.

Then a loud hissing roar echoed through the half-built city and several screams that went on too long for a goblin construction project followed it.

The half-built defensive wall had a massive hole in it, and through it poured a swarm of naga warriors. Leading them was a giant red-skinned serpent-man with a huge spiral shell covering one of its arms like a warglave, “DRIVE THE GOBLINSSS OUT, FOR QUEEN AZSSSHARA!!!” it roared.

“… right fuckin’ now. Kill that thing.” he stared as an alarm sounded throughout the city, then suddenly a dark shape shot past him as Mola’raum leapt to his feet and ran off with a speed belying his unliving flesh. The troll snapped his fingers as the ground around him swelled up and a ghoul burst free from the dirt with a loud snarling sound.

Krag’thar was next, the orc getting up as fast as his back would allow him to, then stomping off after the death knight, reaching down to run his hands over the totems on his belt. Most shaman didn’t rely on the full set anymore, but he was a traditionalist.

Nitika was last, the inexperienced priestess staring in shock at the sudden appearance of the massive creature, but she stood and smacked her cheeks a few times, then picked up her staff and rushed off after them as Grimo un-holstered his rifle and ran after the group. Leader yeah, but let the others tank up the hits so he could lead another day.

All through the city was chaos, and not the normal kind for a goblin city, as more and more naga came pouring in through the breach with the defenders outside frantically tried to stem the tide. Up at the inn Jastor Gallywix was shouting orders and cursing at the city organizers, demanding to know how the naga broke through to begin with given how much he’d been paying them.

Ahead of them Mola’raum’s long legs drove him on, a naga warrior slithering up the path to meet him. Quick as a serpent as the troll gestured with his free hand and exhaled a burst of greenish fog with several buzzing gnats mixed into it, then with a laugh spat it at the snake-like humanoid’s face.

The troll leapt over him as the naga’s eyes bulged and watered, his gills turning an unhealthy shade of green as he fell forward onto his arms and began to retch and vomit, then landed atop another naga with his spear going straight into their shoulder and the flesh around it turning necrotic almost immediately.

As he did however he suddenly cried out and stumbled away, only just managing to pull his spear free as his left shoulder was suddenly encased in ice, several more jagged shards forming above the heads of a trio of sea witches as they focused their magicks on him.

The troll stumbled, the initial attack having made his arm heavy and clumsy, as his ghoul rushed to meet them but before the undead minion could attack the ice spears flew towards its master…

Mola'raum braced himself, then suddenly with a burst of sunlight a glowing shield appeared over the troll’s form! The first two spears shattered on impact and the third penetrating, but losing enough momentum to just barely tap the death knight’s nose before falling to the ground.

Nitika stood nearby, her outstretched hand trembling as she looked at him, “… I… wasn’t sure that would work…” she chuckled, having just managed to invoke several ancient Taurhaue words of protection and shielding before the naga got their spell off.

Then there was a furious shriek from the naga! Nitika yelped and quickly babbled the words out while gesturing to herself to block a sudden burst of hail. They were enraged that their spell had been thwarted, even moreso that Mola’raum’s ghoul had managed to tear one of them apart before the other two could bring it down… and more naga were coming up the path already!

The witches began to channel their magicks again as Nitika’s shield slowly faded, the novice seer only able to maintain it for short times yet, as suddenly a series of loud shots rang out and the naga women went down with holes in their heads.

Grimo popped out the used shells from his rifle and reloaded new slugs into the chamber. “Not a bad start but get faster with that shield trick cow.” he snorted as Nitika winced again. “Where’s the orc?” he asked as debris went flying all around them from the Naga’s attacks.

Kragthar stomped up behind him, “Right here, goblin.” he rumbled, looking at the oncoming mob.

“Well, gonna do something about those?” he asked, aiming his rifle.

“I already did.” smirked the aging shaman as the goblin looked at him quizzically, the old orc extending a hand.

In the path of the charging goblins was a small totem in the shape of an axe seeming to radiate heat. While Grimo had been focused on shooting the Naga, Krag’thar had thrown out one of his totems into the path of the rest of their advance, which seemed to be his fire totem given the effect it had.

Krag’thar’s outstretched hand suddenly made a fist and he snarled out several words in Kalimag! With a woosh of flames a massive fireball appeared in the path of the naga, shaping itself into his fire elemental which rushed towards the serpent-creatures! The naga were forced to fall back, unable to even touch their enemy’s body of living flames!

Grimo’s eyebrows went up, “Okay, not bad not bad… where’d the big one go though?” he asked as there was a sudden roar and one of the nearby buildings was torn apart, the massive naga warrior breaking through it.

“DIE DRYSSSKINSSS!” it snarled as it rushed them down, the four members of Savage United suddenly backpedaling at the massive creature’s assault before several arrows suddenly appeared in it’s chest with loud thunking sounds.

Grimo stumbled to a halt and looked around, then saw several orcs in blood-red mail aiming their bows at it as more charged up the path and a loud voice roared out, “FORWARD MY KOR’KRON! TEAR THESE NAGA TO PIECES!”

“Ah, it be da new boss mon. Heard he be in town…” muttered Mola’raum as he brushed the last few bits of melting frost from his arm.

Striding up the path towards the oncoming attackers, axe already in hand, was none other than the new Warchief of the Horde himself. Garrosh Hellscream.

Krag’thar smirked at that, though Nitika seemed rather disturbed by the orc’s sudden appearance. The taureness looked away and gripped her staff tightly, muttering 'Carine...' under her breath.

The orc sneered up at Jastor as he passed the inn, “Be glad I decided to look in on this mess of a city goblin.” he grinned, “Now watch how a true warrior of the Horde fights! LOK'TAR OGAR!” he roared, charging down the giant naga as Grimo lit his cigar, tucking his rifle under his arm.

“Weeeeeell, I think they got it from here guys…” he said as the carnage started. Garrosh was a very hotblooded young orc and he had been waiting for an excuse for a fight for a while now, he likely wasn’t going to stop very soon. “Think we can call this one done… grab some fangs outta those fish heads though. Bounty is two silver a fang.” he nodded to the corpses as Mola’raum shrugged and dug a knife out of his belt, Nitika making a face at that.

Grimo looked at her, “Better get used to it toots, it ain’t gonna get less messy.” he smirked, “You can’t take getting a bit of blood on yer hooves ya better head on back to Mulgore with the rest of the cows.” he smirked, turning on his heel and heading back towards his office.

“… notta cow…” grumbled the Taureness, though not loud enough for anyone to hear over the chaos as Krag’thar turned as well, Mola’raum following along shortly with a leather pouch filled with naga teeth.

As he did though he walked up next to the taureness, “’ey girlie… don’t let it get to ya, ya?” he shrugged, “It just be da way o’ tings right now.” he added.

She gave him a nervous look, but the Death Knight just nodded to her, “When we teamed up, I be handlin’ da squishy bits, ya? Not like I gotta worry ‘bout gettin’ sick.” he chuckled, jangling his tooth bag.

She shuddered at that but did give him a small nod and nervous smile. For a death knight he was oddly friendly.

“Right ya mooks! Welcome to Savage United!” grinned Grimo as they made it back to where the interviews were being held infront of a pokey two-room shack with a neon sign ontop reading ‘Grimo’s Savage United LLC.’ “Stick with me guys, this is just the start of our glorious 'n lucrative careers in th' field of mercenary-in’, leg breakin’, an-..." he started, and then there was a tremendous explosion as the shack suddenly shot up into the sky and was blasted apart into several dozen pieces.

Grimo wiped the soot from his face as Krag’thar cursed and struggled to his feet. Nitika relatively untouched as the earlier fight had left her a bit on edge and she’d conjured her shield out of almost reflex on herself. Mola’raum had been sent flying backwards into another junk pile, the troll cursing up a storm as he dug himself out.

Grimo looked around, then saw a smoldering pile of garbage where he’d tossed his cigar butt earlier… a trail of ashes leading from it to the remains of several spare barrels of gunpowder he’d had stacked up behind his office for making fresh bullets.

“Huh… thought it felt like one of those things had a leak.” he muttered. “Right! Second order of business, get out there ‘n get some contracts so we can get th' funds to rebuild the office… with proper munitions storage this time!”

Next Story

Previous Story

[impexgranites]

how Granite keeps you cool during summers

Summers are getting harsher as the years go by with most countries suffering record-breaking high temperatures. Expensive air-conditioning units are not sustainable for all-day use as they lead to exorbitant electricity bills in an already inflated economy.

Most of them are actively looking for long-term solutions that help cut these air-conditioning costs while also being gentle on the environment. This is where granite comes in. Granite is a popular material that can be used in every corner, from countertops to flooring.

Granite wall tiles help improve thermal comfort in both commercial and residential buildings while also adding to the aesthetic appeal of the property. It also helps the property look more durable and timeless.

What Exactly Is Granite?

Choosing materials for your property is an important decision, and it’s crucial to have all your basics right. So before getting into the benefits of using granite tiles, let’s first know what granite exactly is.

Granite is a natural stone that is incredibly durable, and for centuries it has been used to make buildings and monuments. In fact, it is so tough that it is difficult to cut and shape. Granite tiles are often used as a countertop for kitchens because they can withstand all kinds of everyday wear and tear.

In terms of composition, granite is an igneous rock, a type of rock formed from molten lava that cools and hardens. It’s typically grey in color, but it can also be pink, blue, green, or white. It also has varied patterns and textures. Minerals like quartz and feldspar add the characteristic sparkling feature to the rock.

Granite tiles also come in a variety of different forms, like brushed, matte, and honed. They’re usually used in moisture-proof areas since it’s not as porous as marble. It’s also considered to be an eco-friendly material.

Why Should You Use Granite?

Granite is a popular material for countertops, flooring, and other projects. It has a wide variety of uses, from traditional residential applications like kitchen and bathroom counters and floors to more creative applications like outdoor furniture and water features.

If you’re thinking about adding granite floor tiles or granite wall tiles to your property, there are a lot of benefits to consider. Some of them are listed below:

Adds Value

If you ever have to sell your property, granite is a sure-shot way of leaving a great impression for any prospective buyers as it helps the property look more high-end.

Easy Repair

Even though granite is incredibly durable, accidents do happen. Luckily, granite is very easy to repair, with a quick-hardening putty that protects the stone once sealed.

Vast Colour Selection

While granite black tiles are always going to be in fashion, there’s actually a variety of colors that you can choose from. This helps the tiles you choose to match your designs and aesthetics and help make a truly personal property.

Sustainability

When compared to engineered materials, granite is a much more sustainable product. It’s naturally occurring and requires very little processing.

Price

Granite lasts for years on end, making the initial cost of installing it seeming very small. It’s a great investment, with easy maintenance and durability, and truly worth the price you pay.

Cooling

Granite helps your home stay cooler, even during the hot summer months, making it a great idea to have granite walls and floors.

Even with so many advantages, there’s one that really stands out, and that’s the cooling properties of granite.

How Does Granite Help Cool Your House?

Granite, like other natural stones, is a great conductor. Your granite floor tiles and wall tiles continue to remain cool even when the rest of the house is hot and humid, thanks to the unique way of granite heat transfer.

Due to its high density and hardness, granite transfers heat from a hot object and quickly loses heat, so the flooring doesn’t feel warm. In comparison, the fibers in wood and carpeted flooring heat up, but the heat does not leave the material quickly, leaving it warm to the touch.

Despite its cool nature, the granite’s surface is actually around the same temperature as the air in your house. Because your body heats up, whatever surface you touch will probably feel cooler because of the temperature differential between your body and the ambient air. This is what helps granite make your house feel cooler.

Choose The Best-In-Class Granite Tiles For Your Home

To conclude, there are numerous benefits of using granite on your property. Granite floor tiles add an essence of luxury to your home. Not only does it look great, but it is also an impeccable material when it comes to heating and cooling.

If you are finding the right place to source your granite, you can rely on a trusted company –Impex Granites. We are a leading black granite exporter and supplier. We have a wide range of products from granite blocks and slabs to countertops and tiles, and a variety of color options to choose from. With our diverse portfolio of products, you can find exactly what you need to match the design ideas you have.

Now all you need to do is pick out our best quality granite tiles, and get your property ready in time for the summer season!

[storiesbythemmgarchivist]

The Return of Ron the Man (Part 1)

"There we go!" Ron Stoppable said as he slid the last egg into place, a wide grin breaking through the intense concentration. Leaning backwards he folded his arms, admiring with pride his latest creation. It was a towering mountain of food, with the base being a regular extra large Naco, but then piled high with bacon, sausage, eggs. All drizzled with syrup at the top, running down like maple lava rivers to the scattered base of French sticks. A culinary nightmare to some, but sweet, delicious madness to the blonde. 

Ron ignored the temptation to nibble on his masterpiece and picked it up, wobbling only slightly as he turned from the stove to the island counter. Walking quickly, he deposited the precariously leaning tower of cholesterol onto the counter before Rufus, his small naked mole rat. Not wanting to leave his best friend and pal out, Ron had permanently installed a small table on the counter with its own small chair, where Rufus currently sat excitedly chittering "Ooh boy CHEESE!" while wearing a small white napkin as a bib. 

"Here we go buddy! My world famous Bueno Nacho Naco Breakfast to tide us over until KP gets back." Ron said, moving to sit in his new favorite chair. After sitting down, Ron stuck his hands into the pile and pulled out a couple of chips covered in eggs, bacon, sausage bits, strings of cheese still connecting them to the rest of the mountain. The syrup had barely rolled off the mess in his hands before Ron had smashed them into his mouth, his eyes closing in joy as he slurped. Not needing to be asked twice, Rufus eagerly threw off his bib before diving headfirst into the nearest side of the pile, practically tunneling himself into the mountain. The duo were acting like starving coyotes going after a fresh meal. Which, to be honest, they were.

Starving, that is, and not being coyotes. 

You see, young Ron Stoppable and his pal Rufus had just spent the last several days refurbishing their new abode in a rush, just days before the upcoming fall semester began at Middleton Community College. When Ron had originally applied to the school a year after graduation, the dean had come to his parent's home in person to accept him, going off on how ecstatic the school was to have a prestige member of team Possible as one of their students and future alumni. This led to a full ride scholarship and flexibility with his teachers to accommodate his mission work with Kim and the best of on student housing. And for the first month of his freshman year, Ron had really eaten up the popularity, and his fellow classmates and teachers were in awe of his adventures. And the jocks and popular boys and the nerds were all in awe of the fact that he - Ron Stoppable- had bagged Kim Possible, the world's greatest action hero, as his girlfriend. 

But as the semester went on, the administration of MCC learned the hard way why the principal of Middleton High laughed himself into a fit when they called to receive Ron's records to process him as a student. Not even two months in and Magilligan had broken out of prison and had tried to take out the son of a rival clan during a school spirit day, only to learn that Ron attended the school. And after getting his behind handed to a monkey-fu powered Ron and sent back to prison, the Scotsman sang like a lark to all the villains about this development. 

So began a series of villain attacks on the university to see who would bring down their shared enemy and foe Kim Possible first by going after her achiles heel - the Dweeb. While the Dean had budgeted plenty for Ron's bottomless appetite, his infamous clumsiness, and the occasional rogue experiment from the science department (Dr. Drakken was also an alumnus), the school had not accounted for a global villain network declaring hunting season on Ron. 

Insurance rates and costs for repairs were already skyrocketing by November, because of Shego's personal motto of "if I can lift it, it's a projectile weapon". The school winter holidays festival had to be cancelled because of a resurrected evil snowman by the Seniors. And everyone refused to even talk about the anthropomorphic horrors D.N. Amy unleashed during Valentine's Day and she hadn't even come after Ron. During solitary, an artist site called Deviancyart had inspired her to recreate her own perfect anthropomorphic OC in real life to marry.

The young and mature male victims alone- Amy apparently didn't age discriminate at the university - kept the school counselors busy for weeks afterwards.

But while the administration was getting grey hair over the situation, the students loved having Ron and his popularity stayed pretty much the same. 

Then came the Gill incident in August. Not only was Ron's apartment destroyed in the toxic goo mess, he lost all three of his roommates in the same attack. But they didn't die! One ended up transforming and becoming Gil's hunky shark boyfriend that visits him regularly in prison. They saved another from transforming fully intime and he reverted, dropped out of college and became a famous environmentalist on MyTube. The last one needed extensive psychotherapy and still gets a panic attack when he even sees anything slimy.   

So for the safety of Ron and Rufus, the school moved them to the old groundskeeper and wood shop teacher's cabin, right on the outskirts of school grounds, right next to Middleton's only forest. 

"For your safety and no other reason at all!" the Dean had said quickly to Ron and his parents in his office just after the announcement, his now salt and pepper hair and goatee damp from the buckets of nervous sweat pouring off him from the glare Mrs. Stoppable was sending him. 

And when asked why Ron couldn't just stay in any of the on campus or even close to off campus housing since he was popular with the student body, the Dean had nervously stuttered out how many students current insurance didn't cover villain attacks that occur in private residencies - only public spaces and they didn't want to risk it. 

So, with that announcement, Ron and Rufus found themselves moved into a rustic cabin near the woods that needed a lot of TLC. When the dean had said rustic, he meant huntsman from Little Red Riding Hood rustic. The wood shop teacher had not only built the cabin himself, but he had custom-built all the furniture, including the queen sized bed in the master bedroom, to accommodate his partner and his much larger sizes. So not only did Ron have beds and couches that could fit two of him in - which made the couches great napping spots - but they were also custom decorated by the groundskeeper, who liked to hunt. That meant Ron and Kim walking into the master bedroom and them screaming in terror at seeing a fully stuffed bear - completely with head in a death roar - staring at them from atop the massive bed.  

Furs covered all the furniture in the housing from the bed to the couches while the mounted heads and antlers of several prizes dotted the walls wherever the room was available. They had used several pairs of antlers to create lamps, seasoning shelves in the kitchen, and even bath-towel racks in both the guest and master bedroom. All of which Kim, Monique, Mrs. Stoppable and Mrs. Possible all had to go. Which then led to a vote, which was won by the boys. On the condition, however, that their partners could hold veto power over anything that was truly hideous. 

Which led to the ladies watching with Rufus, sunglasses on and sipping lemonades, while the boys showed them things and they vetoed them, having the dejected man taking the thing to the storage truck to send it all to the owner's new home.

It took several days of painting, moving in new coverings for the bed and couches, and patching some leaks in the roof. Yet as Ron looked around at their new living space in the light of day, he could see how much they'd transformed the place. While the kitchen remained "charmingly" rustic with hardwood and oak shelves, the living area was a contrast in relaxing modernity with soft plush grey couches and armchairs circling a coffee table. Directly in front of the coffee table was a fireplace and above that, a nice large-screen television, perfect for movies and gaming. From the living room came the entryway, that was lined with some of Ron's favorite movie posters and a shelf for shoes next to the front door. Everything created a cozy, relaxing atmosphere.

"Spekingh off relaxcingh" Ron said loudly to catch Rufus' attention, his mouth full of naco. Rufus peeked his head out of his gooey tunnel, cheeks stuffed, as he looked up at Ron in curiosity. Ron swallowed before giving a belch. "Whoops! Sorry, buddy. Anyway, since we have time to kill before KP gets here in the car, want to play Super Crash Bros after breakfast?" 

Rufus excitedly nodded his head and chittered, slobber flying from his full cheeks. Ron laughed, taking that for an enthusiastic yes before returning to help demolish the rest of the mountain that was now only a small hill. Yep, Ron thought gleefully, this was the life. He couldn't wait to finish and race with his best bud and once again absolutely cream his cousin Todd online. He had a nice place to stay. His parents and he had set everything up for school in a few days. Kim and he were going strong. Everything was finally going his way. 

Which is right when the doorbell rang. Ron turned towards the door, cheeks bulging with food. He swallowed, then stood up, stretching his tight muscles as he did. "Oh geez! I'm getting old buddy and I don't like it. But it's so early for the mail woman to be coming by." He said with a frown. Then Ron shrugged. "Ah well. It doesn't matter, anyway. It's not like it's going to be something life changing or mind-blowing." Ron laughed, walking down to the entryway.  

Little did Ron realize how soon he would quickly eat those words- among other things. For as his hand went to open the door, missing the dark silhouette that blocked all light from entering the glass window, Ron would soon receive something that would change not only his own life. But the entire trajectory of his world and universe as they knew it. But we're getting far ahead of ourselves. 

Completely oblivious to the dark silhouette, Ron's hand paused on the doorknob as a thought struck him. "What if KP came back because she didn't get our normal goodbye kiss?!" he said, eyes widening in shock. Quickly, that shock faded as a cocky expression replaced it, a smirk crinkling his eyes as he chuckled. "But who am I to not give my girlfriend what she wants?" Still chuckling and shaking his head, Ron opened the door. "Kim, Kim, Kim. If you wanted a goodbye kiss, all you had to do was ask! But that's okay. I'm more than happy to oblige, my lady." He said, eyes closed. 

Ron puckered his lips and leaned forward, eager to kiss his girlfriend. 

Silence greeted him.  

Then a deep, bassy chuckle shattered the silence. "Normally I wouldn't kiss on the job. But I'd make an exception, cutie." 

Ron's eyes snapped open. "Huh? Who said- AGHAHAHA!" Ron screamed, his hands coming up to his chest as terror and shock filled him as he stared at the massive behemoth standing in front of him. He had to be the biggest man he'd ever seen in real life- and he'd fought a guy possessed by the spirit of Anubis, a turned evil Hego, and a genetically modified Drakken from the future. 

(The last one, Ron and Kim still weren't sure if that had really happened or not. Gotta love those time travel loopholes!) 

Anyway, back to the hunk of man towering above Ron's blonde head by several feet. The man wore an expensive, obviously custom tailored black suit over a white undershirt, black dress pants stretched across spread sequoia-thick thighs. Resting right above both tree trunks was a massive gut, a thick round sphere of pure muscle sheathed in the fabric of the black suit. A pair of titanic pecs rose above the man's core, each slab square and tightly packed against the other, wrestling for space between the straining confines of the man's clothing. The visible buttons on his chest were valiantly holding on for dear life, patches of midnight dark skin and coily black hairs as thick as a forest visible within. 

The barn door sized width of his lats and back also pushed against the sides of his clothing, yet still stressing the man's form, giving him an almost X shape. Ron's eyes couldn't help but dart from the man's boulder shoulders down to the dense muscle threatening to burst through the seams of the suit's sleeves. Round watermelon biceps pressed for space against his monstrous lats and pecs, pushing the stranger's arms at an angle. Meaty forearms pulled his jacket and shirt cuffs tight away from his wrist and closer to his elbows, leaving an enormous expanse of vascular, hairy black skin visible before his hands disappeared into the pockets of his suit. 

But what truly drew the eye was the black bow tie perched at the bottom of the man's thick neck. Because there was no collar, possibly large enough to go around such an elephantine pillar of muscle. Thickly corded tendons flexed all along the length of the thickest, meatiest neck Ron had ever seen. A literal tree trunk of thick muscle seamlessly rose from boulder shoulders and traps to uphold the man's enormous head. Thick black stubble covered the bottom half of his smirking face and down his neck until it reached the large Adam's apple. Perched atop a broad, enormous nose sat a pair of almost dainty glasses through which two eyes the same shade as Monique's skin looked down at Ron, filled with warmth. A perfectly manicured yet bushy eyebrow rose, giving the man a playful and confident, yet not arrogant, expression. 

Like the ruling lion of a pride, looking down in fond amusement at a kitten. 

Just like a lion, a mane of wonderfully intricate interwoven braids framed his face. And as the man tilted his head to the side to better stare at the frozen Ron, the rest of his braids flowed from a knot down to his massive back, giving the man a ponytail woven from beautifully multicolor beaded braids. 

It was this beauty that robbed Ron of thought, paralyzing him speechless, the fear rapidly draining from him to be replaced with awe. This ruggedly masculine man, the epitome of masculinity, was also the most beautiful human being he'd ever encountered. Even thoughts of Kim's beauty fled from his mind as it struggled to comprehend the being before it. How a person could not only be so enormous and muscular, yet be so captivatingly gorgeous and ethereal at the same time. If Ron didn't know better, he'd think the man before him was some sort of angel or demigod. 

The man chuckled, a deep rumble rising from his chest. "Leaves you kind of speechless, don't it?" His voice was like a river of caramel, smooth and deep and just as strong and commanding of attention. 

Ron could only nod, mouth agape and eyes wide. 

The man tilted his head to the left, amused as he eyed the boyish man before him. He truly was adorable -a skinny yet lithe body clothed in baggy, obviously comfy clothing. A fluffy blonde mop framed a round, brown-eyed face that looked young beyond its twenty years. The freckles didn't help either. He licked his lips, hunger rising sharply within him as he continued to eye Ron.  

Our Lord is right once again. He will truly be a delicious morsel in the upcoming feast. He thought, his mind flooding with the graphic visuals and visions his Lord had described for Their disciples. 

Filling the stirrings of a familiar warmth below the belt, the man quickly took his mind from the gutter to the task his Lord had given him. There would be time to indulge in such things much later. As well as the window was shrinking before a certain stick-in-the-mud sensed his presence. 

Getting back to the task at hand, the man gave Ron a megawatt smile, white teeth gleaming and bright against his skin. "I know these seem terribly rude, but could I come in for just a few minutes? I'm not from around here and not used to this summer heat." the man said, looking at Ron while he willed the young mortal to believe his words. And it was true - his feet were tired after walking around the entire campus, trying to find someone who knew where the blonde man's new housing was. 

Ron quickly shook himself, realizing how rude he was being leaving this man out in the sun like this. Being absolutely trusting, Ron quickly moved out of the doorway. "Of-of course. Let's go inside so you can cool down. The heat is brutal today!" He said, waving the man indoors. It didn't even occur to Ron that the man could've been an evil minion or someone sent to take him back to the enemy. All he saw was a large man in need of aid, and his aching heat quickly took over. 

"I'm Ron, by the way. It's nice to meet you." Ron said over his shoulder as he moved down the entryway, the enormous man following behind him. The stranger had to turn sideways and shuffle his way through the doorway before trailing behind the blonde, his wide shoulders brushing against the wall while his head was only a foot or so away from the eight foot tall ceilings.  

The man nodded. "Nice to meet you, Ron. My name is Mr. Cleido." He answered back as the pair entered the communal area of the home. The towering breakfast mountain was now only a pile of a few cheesy chips. Cradled on top of the pile, Rufus was rubbing his inflated stomach, chittering in contentment. Rufus looked up as Ron came into the kitchen, his small eyes widening and jaw dropping in shock at the beautiful black man coming up behind him. 

"Take a seat, man, and let me get you some water." Ron said, moving through the kitchen. He picked up Rufus, the rodent still speechless. Rufus turned his head to look at Ron, still dazed, and the blonde laughed. "Same here buddy." he whispered, popping the rotund rodent into shirt pocket while he returned to look for a clean glass.  

"Oh, I couldn't possibly inconvenience you anymore than I already am! Especially since it looks like I'm interrupting your breakfast as well." Mr. Cleido rumbled, looking at the couches and sofas around the coffee table. Picking the sturdiest one, he slowly lowered himself down, successfully not wincing at the groan of the springs. Or how the chair sunk deeper into the carpet.  

"Hey man you're not bothering me at all." Ron said, coming into the living room. In one hand he had a large coffee mug full of water, the other hand holding the last bit of his breakfast nacos. He placed them both on the coffee table, the nacos directly in the middle, while he sat on the large sofa next to Mr. Cleido. Once he saw his new guest was drinking, Ron went to town on the chips, popping some into his mouth. 

"Don't mean to dig or anything, but what's a guy like you doing wandering outside dressed like that?" Ron said around a mouthful of chips, vaguely gesturing to the bigger man's ensemble. "Were you trying to get a job on campus? OH! Are you a bodyguard? Did the school send you to be my bodyguard?! That would be so cool!" Ron said, throwing his arms up in the air in excitement. Though the blonde could more than take care of himself, having a bodyguard was seen as a status symbol of wealth or influence. 

And it would just make Ron's status on campus even better because he was so sought after by the villain underbelly and was such a threat, he needed protection twenty-four seven. Ron's mind raced, picturing how he and Mr. Cleido would become the best of friends after multiple attempts, flashing through various fanciful scenarios in their completely fictional friendship. He imagined the bodyguard sobbing as Ron and Kim were married, Ron stomping on the traditional cup in a Jewish wedding. Him becoming the godfather to their kids. 

He even imagined the day he'd grasp hands with the man who'd been his second best friend and secondary father to him for the last time, watching as in a hospital he took a deep rattling breath in his wizened form. 

While Ron's wild imagination zoomed through decades of a fictional relationship, Mr. Cleido finished his sip, meaty hand dwarfing the mug. Gently bringing it back down on the coffee table, the man gave another chuckle. "Getting into enough trouble to warrant a bodyguard, are we?" he teased. 

The man's words shattered Ron's daydream - Kim consoling him as they stared down at a ridiculously large grave - and caused the blonde to turn back to the present. Embarrassed, Ron rubbed the back of his head, cheeks flushing red. "Yeah, not necessarily. I'm not the one getting into trouble. It's just more that trouble seems to... find me." He said, not looking at Mr. Cleido. 

Mr. Cleido nodded. "And when it finds you, it gets everyone around you involved as well, I take it?" 

Ron looked back at the man, nodding repeatedly. "Exactly! It's not my fault the bad guys want a piece of me finally! They just keep coming for some reason and it's been very annoying! Specially since everyone but Drakken, Monkey Fist, and Gill keeps getting my name wrong." Ron huffed, folding his arms in frustration. He remembered how - just weeks before the Gill incident- Senior Senior Senior had called Ron every name under the sun that ended in "-on" except his actual name. Which was additionally insulting since he'd been the one to request him and Kim's services in the first place! 

Rufus gave his owner's arm a pat, returning Ron's mind again to the present. Ron quickly unfolded his arms, leaning forward towards the built man now with excitement. "But now that I have a bodyguard with me, they'll HAVE to take me seriously enough to remember my name! And it will improve my street cred even more, which would finally help me get into the frat parties, which are the best parties on campus!" Ron said, looking up at Mr. Cleido with joy in his eyes. 

Oh, you are such a cutie. Mr. Cleido thought. If this were a different mission, he'd have gladly gone along with the plan if it meant spending more time with the endearing, strange man before him. But even now, he could feel the window shrinking more.

 Plus, he knew the reward for fulfilling his Lord's will would be far sweeter and orgasmic than what the young man currently could ever reward him with. 

Mr. Cleido gave Ron an apologetic look. "While I'm very flattered, I am already employed." Seeing Ron wilt in disappointment and embarrassment, he hurried to continue. "Do you remember the Mr. Universe pageant you and Miss Possible saved at the beginning of this summer? The one with the international delegations competing which lost to Junior Junior Senior?" 

Ron looked back at the man, his disappointment at not getting a bodyguard fading away. Confused at the question, he answered slowly. "Yeah, I remember it. It's hard to forget those male beauty pageants. Especially when everyone's all slicked up and strutting their stuff in man bikinis." Ron said. 

Mr. Cleido's eyebrows rose at the statement. "Man biki-oh! Haha! They really are kinda of man bikinis!" he said. Throwing his head back, Mr. Cleido exploded with laughter. Ron and Rufus gasped as the power and strength of the giant's laugh shook everything in the room. Calming himself, Mr. Cleido continued to chuckle while he wiped a stray tear from his eye. "Ah, that was good! And male beauty pageants truly are the best way to describe those competitions. Hahaha. Can't wait to tell the others this one, especially Glōōdeal." he said. 

Still chuckling, the man continued. "But yes. The biggest sponsors of male beauty pageants as you were, especially the Mr. Universe one you saved, are the Male Muscle Growth Agency or the MMGA for short. I'm the personal attendant for the CEO. Think of me like his, um, head of staff." Mr. Cleido said, taking another sip of water. 

More confused now than ever, Ron spoke again. "So what brought you here, then?" he asked. Concern filled him, worried he'd accidentally offended the mysterious CEO in some way. "Did I tick him off? What did I break - oh gosh, what's it going to cost me? I'm a broke college kid. I don't have that much money to begin with!" Ron panicked, hands flying to his face. 

Mr. Cleido quickly put a comforting mitt on Ron's arm, his hand wrapping entirely around the limb. "You broke nothing of value at the venue Mr. A, my boss, won't be able to cover. And I'm not here to shake you down for money. In fact, they were so impressed and grateful, they wanted to show their appreciation through a gift. Which I currently have on my person." 

Releasing the blonde's arm, Mr. Cleido stood up, reaching into his suit pockets as he did so. Fiddling around for a moment, he gave a soft- for him- exclamation as he pulled out a package. Gesturing for Ron to open his hands, Mr. Cleido bent down to place the package in his hands while he explained. "The CEO of another company owed my employer a favor, and they cashed in. And while there is no money in the envelope - don't whine-" he said with a laugh as Ron pouted at the news,"- it is a letter better explaining the gift. Best to read it once I'm gone." Mr. Cleido finished, covering Ron's entire hand as he placed the package there.  

He truly wished he could stay for a little while longer - just to witness as the scrumptious twink tried on the gift his Lord and Master had given him. But he could feel the brief window was almost gone and that soon unwanted eyes would notice his presence in this universe.  

So filled with regret, Mr. Cleido drew back up to his full height. Pretending to look at a nonexistent watch, he acted shocked. "Would you look at the time? I must go if I'm to make it back to your campus on time to catch my ride back to work." 

"Oh for sure, let me just -" Ron said, putting the package down to stand up and escort his guest out like his mom would expect. Before he could fully stand up, though, a large hand came and gently pushed him back down, causing Ron and Rufus to fall backwards onto the couch. 

"Nonsense! I've already taken enough of your time and hospitality. I can see myself out. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintances." Mr. Cleido said, grabbing Ron's hand to give it a shake that rattled the young man. Properly disoriented, Mr. Cleido scooped back up the package as he walked by, placing it back in Ron's hand. As he elegantly moved past the blonde, he couldn't help but be coy. Right before he reached the entryway, he pretended to stop like he had forgotten something. 

"How unprofessional of me to forget!" Turning his head over his meaty neck, the man sent a stunning smile back to the rattled Ron. "My employer would prefer you to try on your gift in the mirror. You'll thank us later." Turning back around, his long and powerful legs carried him swiftly through the entryway and out the door. 

Ron quickly reoriented himself and stood up. "WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN-" 

The front door closed, cutting off his question to the mysterious man. 

"Try it on. Nevermind." Ron sighed, slumping slightly against the side of the sofa. He and Rufus exchanged looks. "I'd say that was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to us, but we've fought babies." Rufus nodded his head, chittering in agreement. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Ron quickly put the strange departure of Mr. Cleido to the back of his mind as he focused on the package he was still clutching.

Unfolding his hand, the duo saw it was a long rectangular box - like one would use to put like a necklace or jewelry in. Tethered to the box was a white envelope tied there by a golden ribbon. The envelope was very plain and unadorned - the only remarkable thing being there TO RON STOPPABLE printed in nondescript gold type right in the middle.  

Neither Ron nor Rufus knew what to make of the strange gift. "Huh. Wonder what could be in here?" Ron said, standing back up. He ambled back to his bedroom, distractedly unraveling the ribbon, while spitballing ideas to Rufus. "I know he said it wasn't money, but OH, what if it's like a sold gold chain?! I could sell that and get tons of dough for it!" He looked down at Rufus, who looked down at the box, then quickly shook his head. "Yeah, you're right. It would probably be a lot heavier even if it was a necklace. Gold's pretty heavy stuff. But he said to try it on..." Ron said, pausing in the doorway in his room. 

If it wasn't a solid gold chain, then what could it be? Was it like an experimental smart watch or necklace? One of those foldable VR headsets Wade had been rambling excitedly about? A collar with a virtual picture of me and Kim? Before he could think more about it, Ron felt a claw tapping on his neck. "Hmmm?" he said, looking down at Rufus. "What's up, little buddy?" Rufus pointed at the envelope in Ron's hand, chattering while miming opening the envelope.  

"Oh yeah, go for it, buddy. Here ya go- whoopsie daisy!" Ron said, handing the envelope to Rufus, only for the box to slide out of his hand. Fumbling quickly, he caught the box, embarrassed. "Oh, boy! That was a close one, hahaha." Ron laughed, lifting his hand to make sure he hadn't accidentally damaged the box.

 His laughter trailed off, however, as a familiar orange logo caught his eye. "Wait a minute - HenchCo.? HenchCo. made this?" Ron said, bringing the box closer to his face while Rufus was busy ripping open the envelope. 

Sure enough, his eyes weren't deceiving him. Right in the middle of the box, in bright orange letters, was the HENCHCO logo - the world's pre-eminent supplier of military and scientific hardware and henchmen to evil geniuses worldwide. They'd built the Molecular Transducer and the Attitudinator that had turned Ron evil and Drakken good that one time. They'd even accidentally turned Ron into an orange, hulking brute after he'd fallen into a vat of the experimental Titan Project. 

But none of those are wearable except- Ron thought, his eyes widening as the realization of what he was potentially holding struck him like lightning. Rufus let out a sharp squeak as Ron suddenly darted toward forwards, leading the rodent to hold tight to the letter in one hand while grabbing Ron's shoulder with another. "Waitaminute-waitaminute-waitaminute," Ron said repeatedly, excitement growing within him as he moved. Entering his large and spacious bedroom, Ron quickly made his way to the opposite end where, between his walk-in closet and the dresser beside his bed, stood a long full-length mirror. 

Bingo! Ron thought as he made his way closer to the mirror. Still excitedly chanting, he distractedly deposited Rufus onto the dresser alongside the box. "Waitaminute-waitaminute- wait. a. MINUTE! NO WAY!" Ron exclaimed, bouncing back a step. "Rufus, Mr. C. said I was supposed to look in a mirror while I tried it on, right?" He said, hands up and gesturing wildly. Rufus looked back at Ron and chittered in agreement, confused. 

"And that his boss had asked a certain CEO to make this for me as a gift. Which we now know because HenchCo made it, it means Jack Hench is that CEO, right?" Ron asked the rodent, lifting the box to showcase the label again. 

Rufus again chittered in agreement. "Mmhm mmh right mmhm mmhm?"  

Ron dropped the box back onto the dresser, nodding his head excitedly. The blonde was so excited he couldn't help but start pacing back and forth. "So Mr. C's boss had Jack Hench give us something wearable. And they make a lot of wearable stuff like the Tudeinator. But those could only fit in a hatbox and this is obviously not a hatbox. Nor could it be a tiara or crown - though that would look cool with my hair." Ron said, pausing as he thought of how majestic he'd look with a cool crown around his blonde hair and if Kim would like that. Quickly, he shook himself from that daydream and continued to pace as he rambled to his increasingly confused, concerned companion. 

"Nothing HenchCo makes could ever be small enough to fit in this box. Except one thing." Ron said, stopping with his back turned to the rodent. With a dramatic whirl, he spun to face Rufus, pointing at the rodent. "What is the one thing HenchCo has ever made that is small enough to wear and put in a box, buddy?" he asked, an excited grin on his face.  

Rufus scrunched his face, concentrating as he tried to think. What had Henchco ever made that was tiny, wearable, and fit in a box? The rodent's eyes widened, his tiny mouth opening in shock. He looked up at Ron and excitedly chittered back at him, "OH mgmmg mgmgm mgmgm!" while miming with his hands, like he was putting something on one of his fingers. 

Ron excitedly nodded his head again, bouncing now. "Exactly buddy! The only thing HenchCo has ever made that could fit in this box is-" Ron said, grabbing the box and lifting it between the duo. With an ungraceful yank, Ron pulled the top off with one hand while the other dove in and claimed his prize. And with a dramatic flourish, Ron pulled out the tiny item, dropping the box to the ground while, between two fingers, he held the gift. "A MOLECULAR MUSCLE ENHANCER RING BABY!" Ron crowed, throwing his head back as Rufus squealed in excitement. 

Indeed, held gingerly between Ron's average fingers, was an infamous molecular muscle enhancer ring. Or, as many henchmen, heroes, and civilians now called them on the street, an M.M.E. ring for short. Since Drakken's "acquisition" of them years ago, the M.M.E. ring had become one of HenchCo's most lucrative tech requested by villains and civilians alike. Appearing to be a simple golden twist ring, the powerful tech used powerful energies to manipulate the wearer's body down to the molecular level to give them considerable increases in height, muscle mass, and strength. And since the rings had hit both the public and villainous sectors, many sporting competitions had made rules outlawing their practice while certain sports - such as wrestling and MMA- actively encouraged the usage of the rings as it provided lucrative entertainment options.  

This had also led to a rise in catfishing on online dating apps, as many skinny men used the rings to create profiles to catch potential partners, only for their scheme to fall apart when the rings fell off their fingers. There actually was a hilarious reality TV show the Possible family and Ron watched where a woman with a camera crew went out to catch these dudes and expose them on air. Catfishing them and then, when they least expected it, yanking off the rings and watching them deflate into skinny dudes drowning in a puddle of clothes.

None of that was on Ron's mind as he held the ring, though. No, what was going through his mind was all the potential the ring could bring him. 

"Do you know what this means, Rufus?" He asked. Rufus shook his head. "It means I can finally not only physically keep up with Kim when we go on missions, but I could start seriously kicking bad guy's butt! Imagine me using my monkey powers while being all manly again. It would totally rock!" Ron said, eyes shut so he could picture it better.  

Him walking to class, now the size of one of the football players on campus. A bad guy coming - like Gill again - snarky. and confident until they saw the new manly Ron, mighty pecs filling his shirt, his hair spiking as he went into monkey mode. How easily his meaty fists, mystically powered, would easily subdue the threat before Kim and the police showed up. And, with a dirpy chuckle, he imagined how, while annoyed at him using the ring, that wouldn't stop Kim from giving him the best kisses in the world. 

Nodding, determination filled Ron as he clutched the ring tightly in his hand. "Yeah baby let’s do this!" he said. Ron moved from the dresser to stand before the full-length mirror. He looked down, opening his hand to look once more at the small ring. Ron then looked back at his reflection, taking it in for a moment.

He took in his boyish, freckled face, made younger by his shaggy blonde hair. How his jersey-turtleneck combo and cargo pants were baggy on his wiry frame. How his jersey was doing an excellent job to his small gut he had from all the fast food he ate and his monstrous metabolism couldn't rid him completely off. And while, unlike the first time, Ron was incredibly secure in his masculinity and his prowess, he was absolutely sick and tired of not being taken seriously as his girlfriend when he was just as strong and terrifying as she was.  

But the image staring back at him, combined with his average height, meant no one besides the Possible family - and lord Monkey Fist - rarely took him seriously. Hence why they called him The Dweeb.

"Not for long, though." Ron muttered, a cocky smirk blossoming on his face as he picked up the ring with his other hand. And with rising excitement, Ron placed the M.M.E. ring onto his right ring finger. And as his hand lifted, twisting the top part to the right, releasing a familiar series of flashing lights and chirps and whirs between the two bands. 

A faint warmth surrounded the ring on Ron’s finger while a shiver rippled throughout Ron’s body as the ring scanned and mapped his form, from the tips of his hair down to the ends of his toes swaddled in the plain cotton socks on his feet. As the ring scanned him, the microchips and processors whirred and flared as they moved to the default setting as established by HenchCo scientists. All of this occurring within microseconds, the ring completed its assessment and began the transformation of its wearer. 

From the ring, it issued a pulse of warmth. A gurgling sound dragged Ron’s attention from the ring to his chest. A tingle rose from the center of his chest, like pins and needles, but somehow deeper. It spread outwards, covering his chest. As he watched, his shirt billowed and undulated like boiling soup, while a gurgling sound emanated from deep within his chest. That faint warmth grew, along with a strange pressure rising, pressing forward against his undulating flesh. Then, with a mighty lurch, his meager chest surged forwards, swiftly swelling outwards and hardening, until Ron boasted a pair of massive pectorals.  

"Oh yeah!" Ron exclaimed, looking down at the brawny shelf extending from his chest. "I can't see past my pecs!" He said, barely able to see his socks wiggling beneath his heavier chest.  

Ron's right hand went to touch his pecs, wanting to cup and test their weight and softness. However, another pulse came from the ring, causing the pins and needles sensation accompanied by the warm energy to rise within his chest once again. The warm current of energy bulleted down from his shoulders through his arm, causing it to shoot out away from his body. As it stiffened, the energy rolled downwards, enlarging his entire arm to three times its normal size, the seams in his clothing nearly bursting trying to contain all the new mass. Once the energy hit Ron's hand, it ricocheted back up towards his shoulder, hardening and defining along the way. Ron's thin gamer hand was now thick with brawn, attached to a meaty forearm that wrestled for space with the now massive biceps and tricep filling the sleeve of Ron's jersey and turtleneck.  

Glancing at his enlarged limb, Ron couldn't help but bring it up for a flex, grinning wickedly at the sight of the clothed mountain peak the size of his head appearing in his vision. It was absolutely massive, brimming with power and strength that could easily lift a desk with a person sitting on it with ease. Ron looked absolutely ridiculous at this point, with a pair of massive muscle knockers pulling the front of his jersey down while having only the right arm of a bodybuilder. And flexing his arm led to the young man wobbling, his balance overthrown by the shifting weight. 

The ring had expected this, however, and it issued out two pulses, back to back. The warm energy collected in Ron's right shoulder surged forwards through Ron's upper back, causing him to drop the flex and twist to his right as the wave of transformative energy widened and broadened his shoulders until he now was as wide as two of his old self put together. His left arm then shot out to the side as the energy crashed over the limb, broadening and swelling it to be a mirror copy of the other arm.  

The pins and needles sensation faded from his arms as the energy now centered itself within his shoulders, specifically his traps. The energy swirled within his shoulders, spreading up through his neck. As Ron gasped at the sensation, he felt his neck pulse and puff up, thickening and swelling, until his head rested upon a thick column of sinewy muscle. The energy swirled downwards, broadening his traps until they were three times their original size. Complete with that, the ring then directed the wave of transformative energy down the rest of Ron's back, which was still so skinny that you could see his spine if he took his shirt off. 

The ring loved nothing more than a challenge, however, and it pushed the energy down the man's back in a cascade. As the energy swept down his spine, Ron's clothes filled out as non-existent muscles emerged and wrestled for space. Soon a mountain range of veiny, chiseled muscle pulled Ron's jersey skin tight against his body. It was so tightly pulled that the planes and ridges of Ron's now Mr. Barkin wide back imprinted themselves against the fabric like a car map. Flaring out from his sides were winglike lats, corded sinew that flared with every breath from Ron's now much bigger chest and lungs and flowed downwards to his equally muscular lower back.  

And as Ron breathed, the energy within his lower back crawled forwards and spread across his core. With a deep inhale, his stomach ballooned outwards several times its normal size, gurgling and bubbling just like his chest did in the beginning of his transformation. When he exhaled, the bubbling mass rapidly changed and continued to shrink until even the regular belly he had before was gone and Ron's shirt billowed over an impossibly skinny waist. But with the next inhalation, it swelled with sinew and growth, definition appearing on the expanding muscle until, with a deep exhale, the front of his shirt now rested against a defined eight pack. Thanks to his much bigger upper body, Ron's jersey and turtleneck pulled close enough that the wall of abs were clearly visible, the definition and sharpness visible even through his jersey. 

Pins and needles now rushed from his abs into his lower body, cascading towards and filling his toes. Once the energy filled his toes, the ring issued another pulsed and Ron's toes flexed. As his toes flexed, all of Ron's limbs expanded and lengthened, sending the blonde up several inches in height. Once his height had increased, the energy went into overdrive. The socks covering Ron's feet shivered and twitched, his toes and feet broadening and swelling until, with a series of loud SHRIIPS & RIIPS, his much bigger feet shredded through them.  

The energy then rolled up from his ankles through his calves, flooding them with energy as they became thicker and broader, swelling into baseball sized diamonds of muscle. The energy rose higher, pouring into the rest of his legs. His thighs quickly packed on several pounds, swelling and thickening the once skinny runner's legs into powerful teardrop trunks of strength and brawn. They were so thick and swollen with brawn that they shoved against one another until, with another pulse from the ring, they grew too big and pushed against the other, giving Ron now a much wider gait, almost a waddle. 

Looking into the mirror, Ron couldn't help himself as a smirk rose on his face. He looked like an actual professional bodybuilder. A thick barrel chest wrestled for space against his massive biceps, framed by broad shoulders and winglike lats. His back was so girthy and large, he knew he would have to walk sideways through most doorways from now on - he just wouldn't fit through them like normal anymore. He put his hands on his chest and flexed, his muscles flaring against his shirt. 

"Yeah baby!" he said as his chiseled waist became visible again through his jersey. 

"Look at me Rufus! I'm hot!" Ron said excitedly, now twisting his legs back and forth. He couldn't help but admire how his once baggy cargo pants were now so tight, the striations and planes of his thighs straining against their fabric prison. And while all his clothes were tighter now on him, it wasn't uncomfortable. And he had the designers of the ring to thank for that, as its original programming kept Ron's body from growing to the point, it shredded his clothes.  

As long as the designers of said clothing had designed the clothes to not require a certain muscle group to not be above certain dimensions. Such as the gluteus muscles and hips for the seat of their pants, for instance. 

"Boo-yeah!" Ron said, bringing up both arms into a double bicep pose. Rufus whistled and cheered, letter all but forgotten as he clapped as he looked up at his much bigger owner. Ron was now truly a sight to behold - absolutely massive, as big if not a smidge bigger than Mr. Barkin or even Junior. And Ron relished the strength he felt packed within his body, the power that normally lay dormant deep within now coursing just below the surface. Almost as if his powers had just been waiting for his physical body to match them with might and strength. Ron couldn't wait for Kim to get back to show off his new, manly physique and try to use his powers again. 

And it was at this moment that the ring sent out a final pulse of energy, completing the transformation of Ron's body. Distracted by his mighty muscles and feelings of manliness, Ron didn't notice the flare of heat within his glutes. As the energy swirled into Ron's glutes, they quickly swelled out, pulling tight against his boxers until two dimpled round globes of muscle pushed against the seat of Ron's pants.

 And while Ron's boxers could handle his bigger buns, the combination of his wider hips and now broader and rounder rear was too much for the back of Ron's pants as tears formed with every jostle and movement from the blonde bodybuilder. 

So as Ron moved into a most muscular pose, growling as every muscle flexed tightly against his clothes, a loud RIIIIP cut Ron's growl short. His eyes widened when he felt a cold breeze flow over his hindquarters. "No, no no no no!" Ron chanted as he spun around, turning over his neck to look into the mirror. And he saw that, while the rest of his clothes had survived the transformation, the now blown out seat of his pants had not and the world had a clear window at the now tightly packed back of his blue spotted shorts. 

"Ah man, my pants!"

[weienw]

Basics with Excellence

Gracie tells me that I have a tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be. 

For example, she says that it was not necessarily important for me to choreograph a custom “first dance” for our wedding. And that when tasked with bringing bread to Thanksgiving dinner, that I needn’t bake so many different types of bread. Or that our first family trip since having a newborn would be tricky enough without setting my sights on Banff National Park (“maybe a beach somewhere would be good, too”). 

I admit I have a weakness for grand gestures, for thinking that dramatic projects are better than mundane ones. Maybe that’s why I can’t shake the possibility that the opposite is more true, that excellence is best achieved through the basics. I’ve been collecting instances of this idea – of “basics with excellence” – and I think the examples I’ve found form a compelling argument.

For starters, here’s what Dr. Atul Gawande had to say about Shouldice Hospital:

Consider hernia repair. In most hospitals, hernia operations take about 90 minutes and cost more than $4,000; in 10-15% of the cases, the operation fails and the hernia returns. At the Shouldice Hospital, a small medical center outside Toronto, however, hernia operations take 30-45 minutes, the recurrence rate is 1%, and the cost is around $2,000. The secret of the clinic's success is that the 12 surgeons at Shouldice perform hernia operations and nothing else; each surgeon repairs between 600-800 hernias a year--more than most general surgeons do in a lifetime.

And I love the way that Chris Tomson, drummer for Vampire Weekend puts it:

I feel like it’s almost cooler and more badass as a drummer to be egoless about it. It’s not about hitting this sick drum fill, it’s not about showing off, “Oh, I can do this cool thing with my chops.” But serving totally the band context and the song… If a show went by and I was not particularly noticed, that was a successful show for me.

For Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, the name of the game is consistency:

We don’t talk about how many games we’re going to win, winning a division, winning a championship, none of that stuff. No goals, none like that. Our goal is to get better every day, to practice every day, to treat the game with respect, and if we can come out every practice and every game, learning something that we did well or that we did poorly, we can go from there. But I think wins take care of themselves.

During World War 1, an American newspaper reporter observed the German army march through Belgium and described it like this:

Behind them, so close upon each other that to cross from one sidewalk to the other was not possible, came the [cavalry], infantry, and the guns. For two hours I watched them, and then, bored with the monotony of it, returned to the hotel. After an hour, from beneath my window, I still could hear them; another hour and another went by. They still were passing.

Boredom gave way to wonder. The thing fascinated you, against your will, dragged you back to the sidewalk and held you there open-eyed. No longer was it regiments of men marching, but something uncanny, inhuman, a force of nature like a landslide, a tidal wave, or lava sweeping down a mountain.

Finally, theologian C.S. Lewis considered “basics with excellence” not just a secret to success, but an antidote to the futility of seeking power and glory:

If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and other sound craftsmen will know it. 

This group of craftsmen will by no means coincide with the Inner Ring or the Important People or the People in the Know.... [But it will] in the long run be responsible for all the respect which that profession in fact enjoys and which the speeches and advertisements cannot maintain.

Over the last few years, I’ve been fortunate to experience one more example of “basics with excellence” as a software engineer at ActiveCampaign. Building products at ActiveCampaign means delivering small iterations of business value over time. And it really works.

On Team Mobile, we do this by publishing new iOS and Android updates to customers every two weeks. Sometimes the changes we’ve made are under the hood or are mostly just bug fixes. But the small changes add up. Three years ago, we didn’t have phone apps at all; today, we’ve got mobile features for both sales and marketing and we’re finally sending out push notifications. We’re proud to have made apps that can deliver delight to our customers.

Our results are a testament to our values, to our conviction that “Together We Ship Correct Quality Software.” And I still have a soft spot for the spectacle. But I’m coming to see that the biggest wows come from doing the basics with excellence, over and over again.