#Larian you crazy bastards!!!!!

[flymmsy]

jesus CHRIST

[the--grin--reaper]

My very brief thoughts on the books + ranking worst to best

In twelfth is Soulsmith. I know Lindon is a rookie sacred artist, and this is a whole new world for him but this is the only book where I got genuine second hand embarrassment. It was good on the first read but I hate rereading it. Has some really good moments and introduces Eithan and Gesha so I'll cut it some slack. And not only does it introduce Eithan, his moments are also sooo good.

(Although I think Soulsmith is the worst book, I still like it - there is no Cradle book I dislike. And it has the weirdest bloopers out of all of them lmao)

11: Skysworn. Ending felt kind of abrupt. Eithan breaking in with the others was hilarious. And the Eithan vs Longhook fight. Lindon loses an arm (because of Eithan) and then gets called a weapon to his face (also by Eithan). All Cops Are Bastards - also assholes. Mercy's here!

In tenth is Blackflame. I like Blackflame, it just isn't as good as the others. Yerin and Lindon bonding <3 Lindon getting arrested in the last chapter was hilarious

9: Unsouled. People think Unsouled is weak but it's NOT it's really good. Lindon has some really good lines: "I'm listening, not meditating on boyhood trauma." "They say even a dog remembers a beating." Etc.. The disrespect Lindon treats Deret with was CRAZY tho.

Overall, arc 1 is my bottom 4 but that's just because this is Lindon warming up a lil

8 is Uncrowed. I don't like tournaments sorry. All the stuff before the tournament with the training is the only reason it's not bottom four. The whole Lindon v. Pride thing is hilarious though

7: Ghostwater. I know this one is usually ranked higher in the fandom but I actually didn't like it allllll that much. Ziel was introduced! Lindon gets knocked out by fish meat, the cops get dunked on, etc. But eh.

In number six is Underlord! The fucking cannons aiahdosjs. Eithan is soooooo funny in this one ("Don't let it be said I stop my students from making the wrong decisions") I absolutely adored this book!! Charity and Dross were also really funny in this one. "You came looking for me" "If you face Wei Shi Lindon before underlord you will surely die." Ugh, it's so good. Plus Orthos teaching Lindon that it's okay to cry !!

In fifth is Reaper. Lindon sits on a throne!!!!! I really liked the beginning and the Ozriel reveal was really cool. Plus all the Eithan and Lindon bonding!!!!! Lindon breaking a table when he spoke with his dad was insanely funny - guy has anger issues. Also Orthos literally going "who's Lindon" to Redmoon as if it isn't well known that he is Lindon's contract partner was 💀💀

Fourth is Dreadgod. So many heists! Cunty Lindon ("Apologies but this looks like my land")!! Emriss is SUCH an icon. Lindon and Shen's confrontation! Emriss blatantly lying to the other monarchs. LARIAN!!!!! Plus Malice trolling Lindon and Justice wanting to just die because Malice is making him fuck with a really powerful Sage.

Now for the podium:

In third is Waybound. I love action and this one is FULL of fights. The Monarchs being assholes to each other gave me life. Also the Bleeding Pheonix calling Lindon "brother"!!!! Shen getting continually dunked on was so funny and Emriss and Cladia were EPIC! Plus Calling Storm DIES. Also Lindon's reunion with Eithan <3333333 (If you haven't already noticed, they are my fav duo)

Second place is Bloodline. This one is quite unpopular but I ADORE it! Lindon beating the shit out of Daji was GREAT!! Lindon's homecoming (GONE WRONG). ORTHOS AND LINDON REUNITE! KELSA AND LINDON REUNITE. Eithan trolls Jai Long and murders Rahm. There are so many good scenes. And Lindon's "walk"???

And, unsurprisingly, number one is Wintersteel. POINTS. RUBY! Pride and Eithan bet on whether Lindon is going to die 💀💀. Lindon ACCIDENTALLY becomes a Sage. The hunger arm is finally getting put to good use! There's a reason it's a fan fave.

[lwiann]

Larian you crazy bastards honour mode is actually addicting

[yhmwatfhu]

i think it’s time for me to share my Tavtash content (tumblr ate my durgetash pice but it has to be in my profile, come get a look)

1. My Tav’s name is Advena, she is a high elf and a bard. She is 127 years old, 5’2. My initial thoughts were to make her into a non-musical bard, into a dazed poet, into a loud orator, but then I remembered that Advena is a little freak, so it would be fun to make her into a nutty multi-instrumentalist. She gives me vibes of someone, who would perform like Will Wood, Oingo Boingo and Aurelio Voltaire. Her songs are crazy! And to add to that, she is a very versatile person, who really enjoys doing art, so she doesn’t only sing around and write poems but enjoys dancing, painting and sculpting as well.

She is a very controversial person, a little jester indeed. Advena is literally banned in most of the public spaces because she is a witty piece of shit, who goes out of her way to troll and bully mock people. With such talk comes a suiting reputation. She is well known amongst people in some circles. Some adore her, some hate her guts, and some are literally afraid of her. By the way, Advena isn’t even her real name, it’s a pseudonym that she chose, which translates to a stranger, which she remains to others her whole ‘career’.

2. She is a hardcore chaotic neutral. Sure, she has some morals, but she bends them if needed. There is an annoying prick who breathes too loud? Let’s give him a literal death threat. Oh, Gortash has slaves? Yeah, slavery was always there, what’s the biggie? He sold Karlach? Ummmm that’s her problem. What if he does the same to her? Welll ermmm then she deserves that for believing such bastard.

“If you won’t let me in, my pookie bear will fucking destroy your little dump.” she purrs in that obnoxious bitchy accent. Do I need to say more?

3. Advena doesn’t follow any Gods because she thinks that they request a lot. But she has no problem with Gortash following Bane. Advena loves being in charge, so being with someone strong who leads the cult of power? Glorious.

4. She didn’t accept his alliance immediately because fuck them people with authority. At first, she was parading around and screaming heresy about the archduke and were the people of Baldur’s Gate not that stupid, they wouldn’t have given Gortash more credit for that. It made his ratings fucking skyrocket. At this point Advena was leaning more towards eating the rich out, rather than just eating the rich. Her morals bend once again, and she came crawling back to accept the offer.

5. First of all, I hate how Larian downgraded Gortash’s sexy brain so much that he tried to face the bigger brain alone just to kill the poor fella off. In my story, he lives and servers cunt.

From that point, everything is simple: arranged marriage. He needs to keep his reputation high and clean, while Advena needs power and golden trinkets. She is an eternal Hero of Baldur’s Gate, and he is a Lord of Baldur’s Gate, they make a wonderful pair. Eventually, they fall for each other. There is probably some kind of co-abuse in there, but that’s the fun of it.

6. They’ll rule together because I dig the happy endings (not for durgetash tho). There will be one kid to pass the power to. After Gortash dies, Advena is probably going to lay hands on herself and play it out as murder. Let’s give that little fucker some trauma.

i have no idea if those baes were tagged but i pass the challenge to them @niaranda, @tillhen and to anyone who likes Tavtash in general

TavTash Tag Game

@bearhugsandshrugs post about the very small TavTash community inspired me to make this: I want to learn more about you and your Tavs!

Tell us a bit about your Tav! 

What alignment is your Tav? How does that align or clash with Gortash? Do they agree with him morally?

What God does your Tav follow? Is Gortash's position as Bane's chosen an issue? 

What did your Tav think of Gortash when they first met? Did they take his offer of an alliance? 

How did Gortash and your Tav get together? What do they see in each other? 

What does the future hold for your Tav and Gortash? Are they in a relationship, a one time thing, are they going to rule the sword coast together or kill each other in a tragic showdown?

I tag @bearhugsandshrugs, @avani-telvanni and @nyda-the-tav, plus any Tavtashers who see this!