#Laios works minimum wage but

[siriusfelis]

My modern au. Marcille, Falin and Laios are roommates. They have a lot of animals

​I know tarantulas aren’t insects but for the sake of brevity

[gabilunaar]

I may never be happy about Laios ending up as king and not being able to fully enjoy what he loves, but I try to be content reading the Pre-Falin-being-consumed-by-the-dragon adventures and backstory

[elodieunderglass]

It’s because due to the specific alchemy of daemonAUs, any picture of trans femme Laios Touden is inherently and inescapably a picture of human AU Palinode Touden!

However, Palinode would mostly wear this top for the specific purpose of hyping up her brother.

They would go out like this together and do this at every opportunity.

Bee doesn’t know them.

saw this post

[hhoneyhams]

Full Count - Modern Laios/F!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Features: lots of inappropriate uses of company time (ahem), closet sex, destruction of store property, technical difficulties, and pizza 'n soda for morale! It also gets a little sappy at one point, yippee!

Warnings: SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!! ESRB RATED M FOR MATURE (Technically A/O but who uses that anymore?? )

Content Warning: Unprotected sex, public sex, and cream pies

The reader has female genitalia and is human. I tried to keep all other descriptions/pronouns to a minimum.

Author's Note: Shout out to @toxycodone for making the post that inspired this whole thing! Minimum wage worker Laios is a darling idea, but thinking about him working in a video game and collectible store just stole my HEART! I'd let him tell me all about his D&D campaign and his most recent Skyrim run any day 🖤

“--have a good night!” you call out to a departing customer. As the door shuts behind them, you turn off the neon ‘open’ sign and begin your closing duties. 

Instead of wiping down the windows and letting the shutters down, you were handed pencils and two printed-off sheets of paper attached to clipboards.

“You and Laios go do the pre-owned and new console count, I’ll see what I can do about the internet before the night is over,” your boss sighs, pulling out their phone to make some calls. Your eyes meet Laios’ as he pauses what he is doing on the sales floor to make his way to the area behind the registers.

“The internet went down?”

“I think that storm knocked it out earlier…” you theorize, handing him the other pencil and clipboard. “We were having trouble over here with the POS and cards.”

“Oh, it's down-down then,” the blond confirms. You grab your second soda can of the night and your keys to the back room. He follows suit after he takes another piece of pizza, cold and tough from airing out on the counter. “That’s lame.” 

Taking care of a count by hand is nothing for you, but using your extra hours to redo a count isn’t your idea of a fun Friday night. The day of full-count inventory for your store was quickly looming, the internet going out another hurdle in the way of your freedom.

The two of you lock yourselves into the back. You open the side closet that holds both sets of consoles to count. The closet wasn’t cramped, but you were a bit cozy in there. Various gaming consoles lined the walls and were stacked along the floors.

You and Laios were rarely scheduled together, but you always enjoyed yourselves when you were. You met him at a staff meeting shortly after he started at the store. The whole night you had ended up talking about everything from dungeon-crawler games to Dungeons and Dragons, to even discussing the potential of getting some friends together to do a joint playthrough of one of his favorite games in the Monster Hunter series.

It isn’t a secret that you find him attractive. Your other co-workers poke fun at how you clam up around him. You’re just content with listening to him ramble, unlike some of the others. 

Usually, people don’t last at this job long enough for you to get attached, but you know you’d be a little sad to see him go. 

Your phone vibrates in your pocket with a text from your manager. Laios’ phone has been forgotten somewhere out front so he glances over your shoulder to read the text:

‘Going home. Finish the count and lock up when you’re done. Someone should be bringing us a router from another store tomorrow.’

Leave it to a manager to have you clean up their mess…

“Shit, why do we still have to do this then? I mean, if we’re just going to be back up and running tomorrow morning, why stay late and see if everything is there?” you vent to Laios, setting the clipboard down on the ground and flopping straight onto your ass. “They can’t even see if we’re actually doing this, so why not fudge these numbers and go home early…”

“Well, think of it this way,” he begins, sitting down beside you and settling his clipboard neatly in his lap. “They can’t see that we’re sitting down and taking care of it!” He begins to scan along the consoles sitting on the floor, marking off each console he finds by the serial number.

He was so content with the mundane that it hurt. He was a real ‘yes, ma’am’ ‘no, sir’ kind of worker, always coming to work with a smile on his face.

You felt like a bad influence every time you worked with him…

Your other coworker, Kabru, always makes it known just how much he wants to choke Laios during their shifts together. Something was very endearing to you about how dedicated he could be to a part-time position like this.

You joined him…and continued your work on the floor.

“--so our DM, right? This guy-”

“Our district manager or your dungeon master?”

“Oh, dungeon master, got mad at me for rolling SUPER high on a perception check and went after my sister’s character for it. So our next session is going to be us trying to get her back from a dragon. We’ve got to take some time off because we lost a couple of people but I’m ready to throw down next time!” he says, determination in his voice. You give him a smile in response, your mind pretty occupied by the task at hand. 

He continues to prattle on excitedly about some of the other escapades his party took place in as you counted the rest of everything that you could whilst sitting on the floor. You were always scared of whatever googly-eyed look you’d give him as you listened intently, so you would usually throw yourself into your work as he talked.

He was kind of like a big, hunky podcast or something…

“Alright, we’ve gotta get up now…” you huff, slowly getting up by grabbing onto one of the wire shelves for support. The hard linoleum floor was not doing you any favors in the comfort department and cut off the circulation to your legs.

You stumble forward and fall on top of Laios, jerking down the shelf you held onto for support, and flinging some of the handhelds onto the floor with you. His strong hands catch you around your middle so you don’t bang your heads against each other. 

A shot of heat rushes through you, embarrassment flushing your face and the telltale signs of butterflies blooming in your belly.

Were you really that touch-starved?

“There goes the Switches, 3 if you need to write it down,” he points out, not making any moves to let go of you as he does so. You settle down in his hands and look over your shoulder to see if he is actually right. 

You’ll have to test those to make sure they still work before you go home…

Laios continued to hold you, almost memorizing the way your body felt under his hands despite the space between the two of you that remained. 

Per your training modules, you knew that physical advances between coworkers were strictly prohibited on the store’s premises. This was clearly an accident, but if the prolonged touching between the two of you said anything, it's that it wasn’t exactly unwanted. 

Laios looks up to the ceiling, the light on the console room’s camera no longer pulsing red like it usually does.

“If the internet is out, the cameras are as well. You can’t get in trouble…”

Your eyes bore into his as you gaped in astonishment.

What is he implying…? 

There are a few beats of silence between the two of you before you close the gap, pressing a heated kiss to his lips and tangling your fingers into his soft shirt. He melted into the kiss, gripping your hips tightly to hold you against him. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like the pizza and soda from before.

“I’ve been wanting to shut you up all night,” you mumble, a smile stretching against your lips as you press more kisses against his.

“I thought you liked listening to me!” His tone is genuinely shocked as he says it, taking on a nervous edge like he has done something wrong. You hush him, rolling your eyes.

“I do, but holy shit, you’re so distracting!”

“You’re distracting too!” he fusses, pressing an accusatory finger to your nose playfully. “I’m always trying to get your attention and you never look at me!”

“I’m trying not to give you ‘fuck me’ eyes while you talk about Skyrim!” you confess, swatting his hand away. Telling him causes your cheeks to burn hotter than they have before. 

Suddenly, you feel something (or someone, rather) graze the underside of your rear. Laios’ cock strains against his pants as he looks away from you, his face turning a rather deep red to match the shirt he was wearing. He blushes all the way from the tips of his ears and down his neck.

“You…you want to fuck me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

It totally wasn’t. Laios didn’t think you liked him that much at all. He would see the way your eyes lit up at certain conversation topics and he did his best to keep your interest, but you always found something to distract yourself with. He’d even resorted to yelling across the store at you as you darted around to straighten up the shelves or stock. You didn’t tell him to shut up like Kabru or Toshiro, but you didn’t engage with him a ton.

He has caught your gaze on a couple of rare occasions, but you would quickly dart your eyes away when you found out that he had noticed. If you were worried about making him uncomfortable, he would have rather known that he wasn’t making you feel that way.

He wanted to make it all up to you. You now know so much about him, but he wanted to take the time to get to know everything about you. He’s heard you talk about your favorite game once or twice, but he wants to know exactly when you played it and why it is your favorite. He wants to know silly stuff, like your favorite Pokémon. He wants to know why you listen to him and why you don’t talk over him or cut him off. He wants to know how long you’ve liked him…

He wants to know why you’re so afraid to look at him…when it's all he ever really wanted. 

His thoughts run wild in his head about everything he wants to know about you, but they go silent the second you go in for another kiss.

Well…He knows you want to fuck him!

Your hands are cold from the store’s A/C, Laios ends up jumping slightly as you drag your hands underneath his shirt and along his back and sides. He lifts his arms up for you to pull the shirt off of him and wraps them back around your body in turn.

It was pretty damn cold in there, though.

In a heat-of-the-moment, split decision, he decides to reposition you so he can pull himself free of his pants. His overactive fingers struggle with the buckle of his belt as he begins to curse. You take over for him as he laughs at himself.

“Sorry, I’m a bit nervous… it's exciting, really! But, holy shit, I’m not used to all of this,” 

You don’t blame him, it's riskier than anything you’ve ever done in your life. You’re working part-time in a game store, your life isn’t remotely exciting enough to have had sex in public, much less at work and ON THE CLOCK.

From his perspective, he just found out that you liked him 5 minutes ago and now you’re pulling his dick out to suck him silly in your store’s console closet. Make it make sense!

Laios lets out a few quiet moans as you run your tongue along his cock, looking him straight in the eye. It’s everything he could have ever asked for, but he’s jumpy and keeping one eye on you and one on the door. You pull away and use the remaining spit to jerk him lazily with one of your hands. His head thrashes to the side and he lets out a low cry. 

“You know we’re still the only ones here…you don’t have to be quiet, Laios,” you simper. He breathes heavily and grabs your shoulder to stop your ministrations.

“We’ve got to be quick, I can’t wait much longer,” he rasps out. His hands begin to pull at your shirt. “I want to see you, please…”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice!

Laios’ eyes and hands are glued to your tits as you ride him, his fingers pinching your nipples as he notes the size and the way they bounce with you. Your body was something else to him, it was so familiar and foreign at the same time. He’d notice your shape, your clothes, and the way they complemented your figure and movement as you worked.

…yeah, you were distracting.

To have that same body held within his hands, wrapping snugly around his cock, crashing onto him and around him…He wonders how he could have gotten so lucky. 

“I’m…I’m standing up, I-I’ve got you,” he grits out, every movement against you bringing him closer and closer to the precipice. You wrap your arms and legs around him tightly, your fingernails digging into the muscles of his back as he hoists you up. You reach between your bodies to help guide him back in. 

He’s hitting at a new angle, pistoning in and out of you without abandon. Your curses and moans are buried into his shoulder as he keens out. His grunts and his sighs go straight into your ear, his encouragement not lost.

“F-fuck, I want you to look at me,” he says breathlessly. You tear your head from his shoulder and do as he requests. His face is red, sweat dripping from his brow, his iris blown black as his eyes dilate, and his jaw is slack as moans tumble from his mouth. His eyes aren’t staying open as he slams into you, his thrusts losing their rhythmic staccato. “Y-you’re amazing, and this is–”

“Laios, I’m s-so close,” you interrupt him, grabbing him and pulling him forward for a kiss. Your moans are rumbling in your throat as he picks up his pace again. You pull away long enough to breathe but find yourself back on his lips once more. 

You grab and hold one of the wire shelves for support, the position being a bit taxing to maintain for the both of you. He goes to warn you not to do it again but your grip and his movement cause the shelf to fall from the wall just like it did last time. You both yell and your body clenches around his, causing him to double over and almost drop you. 

There goes a whole PS4…

“Fuuck, shit, I don’t care, I don’t care, j-just keep going!” you shout, clawing along his back. Everything around you was becoming too much to bear. The sound and feel of your wetness, skin slapping against skin, the sweaty heat cooled by the A/C. You closed your eyes tightly, you focused on the orgasm rising in your belly, you let yourself get closer, and closer, and–

“I’m gonna cum inside you!” Laios announces with a line of drool running from the seam of his lips. He continued splitting you open with his cock, his form was sloppy but he held you so close to him.

Your orgasm ripped through you, causing you to clench against him tightly. Laios fucked you through your release and came shortly after, pressing you down onto himself as he shuddered and groaned. You weren’t sure how the two of you were able to stay upright after that.

Your legs on his back slide down and you hold onto him for support as he slides back out. His pants were still around his ankles, so it was a quick getaway for him to come back with some of the scratchiest brown paper towels your bathroom had to offer.

“T-thanks,” you say, trading his shirt you fished off of the floor for the paper towels. He hums, still pretty dazed. He sits right back in the floor against the wall as you change, watching you almost enraptured as you pull enough clothes on to toddle to the bathroom and finish cleaning up. “That was…something.”

It was something good though.

The rest of the night was spent testing those consoles that fell, just to make sure they weren’t broken. Luckily enough, everything was in working condition, even if the wire shelves remained discarded to the side of the room.

The two of you agreed to just say you clocked out earlier since it was pushing on midnight. You shared the rest of the pizza in the parking lot and drove your separate ways home. After you got inside your apartment, you received a text from Laios:

‘I don’t think we ever finished those counts…’

End Notes: Some of the work stuff is so specific...Don't ask lol

I'm still working on getting more confident with writing smut and oneshots. I've been writing fanfiction for years but it was all super involved multichapters that never went anywhere! Either way, I really hope you enjoyed reading this because I sure as shit enjoyed writing it!! 😎

Minor edits will be made if I find any mistakes and constructive criticism is always appreciated! (Just don’t be an ass about it 👀)

Credits: Dividers by @/cafekitsune, cover art from 'Daydream Hour' scans

🖤 Rules | Ask Box | Masterlist 🖤

[toxycodone]

GOD modern Laios would make such a good little trophy/house husband 🥺 he LOVES cooking dinner for you when you come home after a long day of being the breadwinner. you get to spoil and dote on him and he gets to spend all day doing nerd shit and taking care of the house (he LOVES cooking you dinner and seeing the look of relief on your face coming home to a clean house & warm meal after a long day)

on your anniversary you come home and he's cooked a fucking 5 star meal- like the kinda shit you only get at some fancy ass overpriced restaurant . After dinner you suprise him with a huge intricate Lego set you know he's been wanting but wouldn't ask for because it's soooo expensive & he nearly cries.

He spends like 2 hours going down on you out of pure joy alone before letting you tie him to the bed and ride him until he DOES cry- whimpering "thank you" and "I love you"'s over and over before you've even let him cum. tears falling down his flushed cheeks and eyes rolling back in his head as he writhes against the restraints, so desperate and grateful for whatever you give him. such a good boy, your perfect little house husband 😌

GOOOOOOD YES

okay. Since we got minimum wage retail Laios confirmed by Kui. House husband Laios is so fucking real.

Laios who’s a total part timer since meeting you, he works for pocket change and like. Bare minimum benefits just to keep things comfy for the two of you while he basically puts everything in savings. (Until like one day he just quits tbh when yall are really settled in)

But like in my mind he works under the table at Senshi’s restaurant for cash + to learn about cooking! They go on fishing/hunting/hiking trips together and go to the farmers market to get fresh produce and Senshi teaches Laios everything he knows.

He cleans up your apartment every day. Like, he’s not the best or a maid or anything. He’s just a dude. But he does recognize that he’s immensely privileged and does his best to show you hey. He does care. And he wants you to not have to bust your ass after coming from a full time shift. He does basic things like dishes and stuff and on the weekends you guys maybe spend an hour or two maximum cleaning on the weekends together

LAIOS. PACKS YOUR LUNCH. He love love LOVES doing this and he has little sandwich shapers to make them into little dinosaurs or dolphins or something. And he does bentos with cute little pins and molds and he lovingly spends time on this. I think he genuinely enjoys doing this stuff and testing out new recipes.

And cooking in general!! Like that is how Laios shows he loves you forreal. He genuinely pays attention to your tastes and tries to “gourmet” your favorite foods. (I’ve been rereading the manga and when Marcille’s upset he offers to try his best to make whatever she wants to eat out of monsters and it’s so cute…). Like you want grilled cheese? How about grilled Brie on fresh made bread? Bagels? Oh yeah he tried a new recipe at Senshi’s at 4 am, here’s fresh out of the oven pastries. It’s so cute.

I think. He loves like those random ass kitchen gadgets too. He 100% has an ice cream maker and he makes custom flavors for you.

And he just loves watching you eat. It’s such an expression of love. He works so damn hard to make you smile and make you happy. And his food never sucks because 1. Senshi teaches him everything 2. He ALWAYS tests recipes before going way too hard with them. Like he pays attention to your palette so if he made something gross or something just. Not to your tastes you’d let him know in the trial stage.

And GOD. Laios is just a fucking sex toy I swear. He’s genuinely like. A subby service top. He wants you to absolutely use him however you want but he likes to be the one that’s doing most of the work because he likes to spoil you with his body…(also he cums super easily in my hc so if he tops he’s able to like. Pull out and give you head or switch positions when he’s getting too close)

But when you spoil him and ride him…tell him how handsome he is and how much you love him. yeah he’s crying and whimpering about how much he loves you and how you’re just so fucking perfect. It makes your head spin because Laios genuinely makes you feel like you’re the only person on earth for him.

[gothiethefairy]

apparently some ppl are a little bit upset that ryoko kui said in a modern world, laios would work in minimum-wage retail

but, it does lowkey make sense, if you count for the fact he dropped out of school and later, the army. and if we take into consideration that he's autistic too, he won't find any good jobs so retail is his only option.

i mean, he could be a manager tho. he is a pretty good leader.

but i'll imagine, with the right people pushing him, he takes night classes to at least get a degree. hell, maybe he makes extra cash on the side by doing furry commissions.

but if you imagined him going to school to become a vet or he has a youtube channel or whatever, you can still keep imagining that lol

it's not the end of the world if the author said one thing against the other, you know.

[eldest-of-katts]

okay because people have shown up in my dms talking smack I'm going to make one blanket statement on the 1000 year loli chilchuck thing.

yes, there has been a problem with young girls being put in suggestive positions in anime with the "uhmmm she's actually a bajillion years old" excuse. yes, other characters don't treat chilchuck like an adult. yes, he is short with big eyes.

However, chilchuck consistently acts like a grown man. he- in both the manga and the anime- straight up just is an adult. He looks like an adult when he is any other race during the swaps in the manga. When the other characters get turned into half-foots they look similar to chilchuck. He is explicitly stated to have more dungeon and general life experience than laios, and he acts like it.

The 1000 year loli trope explicitly functions as an excuse to prey on people who are inexperienced and unable to advocate for themselves. Chilchuck is a parent, is a union organizer, has explicit boundaries that he enforces rigidly, and he is treated as an adult man by everyone who doesn't have a fantasy racism-focused character arc/issue.

I can see how if you haven't read the manga and seen that he has an established life that he later reveals (and haven't paid attention to him in the anime lol) you could get a mistaken impression about him. Marcielle does too in the source material! It's part of her character at the start of her arc that she has issues with longevity!

The thing that irks me a little about this interpretation is that it leans into the child-coded discourse that was prominent a while ago (she's short!!!!! but has boob???? ILLEGAL!!1!) and it does a disservice to the themes of infantilization as a policy maneuver hurting the working class.

I saw chilchuck and his labor advocacy for half-foots both as a metaphor for racism (obvious take ik) and for ageism.

The working gen z as a cohort are being infantilized and pushed out of job markets due to infantilization, similar to half-foots in the show. gen z is being maliciously portrayed as too young to vote, enter office, know themselves, know their rights, and take advantage of their resources. Simultaneously, child labor protections and protections against workplace abuse are being rolled back in the US. In Japan, young people are being worked to the bone for nothing and are becoming disenfranchised as a generation while simultaneously expected to be the labor faction that supports the postwar generations in their old age.

Chilchuck's being treated poorly I saw as a clever commentary on the ways infantilization allows for protections to be stripped away under the guise that "oh it's just a job for teenagers- they don't need more than minimum wage" or "let the kids rescue the economy! they're always complaining about that job market!" while simultaneously stripping away rights under the guise of protection- "We can't have that on the internet! think of the children!" "to protect these young people we must raise the age of medical consent for hormones/reproductive health decisions!"

Kui's work with this series spoke to me on many levels, and specifically, the infantilization issue touched me in a way that few other pieces of media have. The struggle to be taken seriously in a stem field as someone young, as someone female, and as someone who had a high-pitched voice to the point I did years of voice training to be taken seriously, chilchuck's character resonated. I (kinda) understand your instinct to think "SHORT! CHILD! RALLY THE MASSES AND KILL THE PEDOS!!1!" but in this case, it's misdirected- mostly because the author was trying to use this misdirection to prove something to you, the reader.

Kui consistently makes cutting commentary on modern issues, the show's take on food neutrality as its headliner, but also the author's takes on cultural issues and the environment (with a focus on our place in the food web as animals). I feel that reducing chilchuck's very conscious position as a tradesman and an activist discounted due to his apparent age down to "1000 year loli ewwww let's send this random tumblr user suicide bait" just displays a lack of critical analysis of the show and a level of disrespect towards Kui and the work as a whole.

TL:DR- stop sending me kys messages I'm fucking that old man

[usagichanp]

Finding out that in modern times Laios would be a minimum wage retail worker absolutely kills me. Someone draw Laios working at Walmart before I do

[thishazeleyeddemon]

Modern AU Laios in my head:

Son of a rich man pushed into military service, burns out and ends up working a minimum wage job bc Falin was the College Kid and he was the Military Kid and he can't pay for college without going back to his parents which makes him want to kill himself

He possibly eventually manages to go and gets into biology

[dunmeshiminimumwage]

hello and welcome to dunmeshiminimumwage. we make posts about dungeon meshi minimum wage. our mods are:

mod chilchuck - i work in fast food now. no more pet store.

Mod Mithrun - I've been working fast food for 3 years. Euthanize me.

mod laios - im mod laios and im insane and unemployed. at boat

Mod Farcille - Yes I am both of the lesbians, hi! =3 I worked at a Domino's for half a year and also had two weird interactions with different jobs that didn't end up working. The only job I need is yuri.

[dadsbongos]

MINIMUM WAGE LAIOS LETS gooooooo no bc the fic was so cute😭😭 obsessed w everyone’s characteristations now I wanna know more about minimumwage!dunmeshi verse lmaooo. Also I screamed when I read hawk tuwa

ngl i meant to erase hawk twah (and the ultra violet lesbian line) from the record but i was so tired i just left it in. glad i did though cuz i've gotten a couple people now saying it made them giggle

and omg!!! minimum wage dunmeshi... i assume about the grocery store i made up in my mind sorry if not

so.

laios is a courtesy clerk. very polite and kind, honestly, just not outgoing towards the customers (even downright avoiding them sometimes lol)

kabru is the tired assistant front end manager. has to stay wayyy later than the store managers and do all the actual important shit for a quarter of the pay. always on the employee's side, but is such a workplace drama instigator.

mithrun and toshiro exclusively work self-checkout and only interact with each other. toshiro because everyone else is jarring in their customer-service voices and mithrun cuz he's been there basically since the store opened and doesn't give a FUCK.

i can see falin being a pharm tech that got her brother the job. she's not really a customer favorite because she under-explains things and comes off spacey.

marcille opens at the customer service desk. she WANTED to be in the pharmacy too but couldn't remember which medications conflicted with each other and was politely "asked" to step down.

chilchuck closes the service desk. he's been there almost as long as mithrun and similarly has no desire to move up in the chain of command. doesn't want more responsibility and likes how isolated the desk is. he can sit back there and get paid for it. it's great.

izutsumi is another courtesy clerk. she started like three weeks ago and already hates it. does not mind letting laios do most of her work. has already been written up and receives many poor performance reviews from secret shoppers.

senshi wanted to be in the meat department but they had "no available positions" so he got stuck as a cashier. says he really doesn't mind (LIAR). very approachable though! gives honest item recommendations and nutrition advice based on what customers are checking out. always thanks people for stopping by. women want him, men also want him.

namari doesn't know how it happened, but she's also assistant supervisor. she started as a courtesy clerk, then skipped cashiering to go behind the customer service desk and one day was asked what she thought of becoming afem. acts more like a regular coworker than a supervisor though and doesn't care for customers. constantly wondering if she's able to step back down because the additional little jobs are extremely tedious and annoying to her lol

rin quit forever ago but came back as a cashier because kabru BEGGED her to because they needed more help.

inutade is another courtesy clerk, actually likes her job???

yaad and thistle are assistant store managers, rarely do you see them actually out on the floor. yaad is excused as an airhead and thistle's reputation flips from sweet summer child to ruthless twat constantly.

delgal is the big bad head store manager everyone has a secret power-crush on. very kind to employees on the RARE times he interacts with them. kabru sees him a lot because delgal asks for opinions on how the store could improve -- kabru adores delgal as a boss.

[curuniel]

Even as an adventurer Laios is a man who's surprisingly good and valuable in a kind of crappy job. He started as a gold peeler. The dungeon is definitely a minimum wage space. Laios is a man that lots of people would turn down for their adventuring parties and only the ones that have worked with him say no seriously he's saved my ass many times he's really good.

Ryoko Kui saying that modern day Laios would be a minimum wage retail worker... she gets it. I'm so thankful. Laios, king of being bad at job interviews. Do you think that man would be on LinkedIn networking? No! He's very smart and capable, we know that, but he would NOT be good at selling himself in today's job market. I love him. I relate to him so bad!

[procedurebybyte]

marcille and laios have like shit going on but union man chilchuck is paid to be here. imagining working at like a store and it’s just kinda your standard workday and then your two coworkers start doing extremely emotionally fraught necromancy in the back room and you’re like. i am paid minimum wage.

[toxycodone]

minimum wage laios but he’s not broke at all. that’s because i know for a fact he takes art commissions. specfically furry art. he’ll literally do anything non human. he earns so much money doing this since he works QUICK, and he’s popular as his knowledge on animal anatomy is insane

he’s also the type of guy to tweak or add certain details in a commission because he didn’t fuck w the original idea which obvi pisses some of his clients off 💀💀💀

and he doesn’t even make his prices high. like for his skill level especially, his prices are really cheap. he’d probably do it for free because he loves it and it’s his passion, but his friends were like wtf dude put a price on your work you’d make so much money. and laios is like “but i dont xare about the money”. he still adds prices though to make his friends worry less about his unpaid labour 💀

he stills sleeps on a sofa in marcille and falin’s apartment becUse of course he does. save ur money, king

i lcoe you laios lets create fursonas with lore together

OH I LOVE THIS. Furry artist modern au! Laios is so fucking good.

He eventually quits his retail job because interacting with people fucking SUCKS and he hates doing it. Instead he starts to work part time at modern Senshi’s job. He spends his time cooking and baking for not even minimum wage but he LOVES it so much.

Meanwhile, Marcille is just like “when is your brother moving out” and Falin is like “hopefully not soon :) I like having him around.”

I think Marcille should walk in on him drawing some extremely niche furry porn and she’s like 😨 and he’s just like :3 “can I help you?”

[malewifesband]

kabru, who has been ducking into the store every thirty minutes until it was empty: so. laios right?

laios, who has noticed kabru doing this but has no idea why anyone would except to rob the store and theyre tweaking hard but hes pretty sure kabru is doing neither: hi~ hows it goin handcuff guy?

kabru: please call me kabru

laios: ok kabru! are you buying anything or...?

kabru, internally: oh my fucking god what am i doing here why did i come here to do this this is insane--

kabru: haha no actually, i wanted to um. ask about your art?

laios, who forgot other people can see the tablet sometimes, and blushing very hard: oh uh yeah ask away hahaha!

kabru: is it just for fun...?

laios: i mean uh. drawing monsters and furries and stuff is fun sometimes but mostly i draw commissions. i make minimum wage so, y'know, mommas gotta pay the bills!

kabru: huh. okay cool. so what do you draw for fun, then?

laios: i have a webseries where i do specbio for how certain mythological monsters could or would exist. like, you remember those animal planet mockumentaries where they pretended dragons or mermaids were real? those like disappointed me soooo bad as a kid but i make stuff like that!

kabru: sounds cool! (<-lying) youre a really good artist, by the way

laios: thanks!!!! so um. are you asking because you want a commission? i'll do a free one for you! youre my hero after all

kabru, internally: im his hero 😳😍

kabru: yeah, sure! id love one!

laios: great! tell me what youd like! oh, and i can do an animatic just for you--those are how i get the big patreon bucks! ^w^

kabru:

kabru: why dont you surprise me?

laios: 🥺 really?! i can make you a fursona and... hey, im not wrong in assuming the handcuffs were a sex thing right? because i can totally work stuff like that in for you, in fact i have some really good ideas because of that--

kabru: sounds really good, really good! listen i actually wanted to ask if you. um. whens your shift over?

laios: 5 am. i doubt youll still be up, though

kabru: i will be

laios: do you work nights too? its so hard hanging out when you work nights you know?

kabru: uh, no i work 9-5 as an intern at a law office but its my weekend so!

laios: (worried) um. cool! so did you wanna hang out after i get off work? because we could wait till after you wake up--

kabru: no 5 am is good! 5 am is perfect. i still have condoms so no need to worry about that!

laios: huh? 😳

kabru: 'kay, pick you up then!

(kabru exits the store and heads back for his apartment to sleep until 5 am and possibly kill himself for the worst possible job anyones ever done of picking someone up)

labru au where laios works graveyard at the gas station bc it lets him spend his free time doing werewolf erotica and furry commissions on the ipad falin bought for them at the register just at work not even horny about it thats just what pays the bills

and kabru is agonizing about what the gas station clerk is going to think about him buying condoms at 2 am (for his strap. he does not remember to clean that thing. put a rubber on it so no one gets an sti bc you fucked the least hygienic man on earth. its like hes a fucking line cook). but laios does not give a shit. kabru is here all the time and laios has never once recognized him

and then the store gets robbed while kabrus there holding his box of condoms and laios is like absurdly calm about this (not calm. seems calm bc he has problems) and kabrus just dispatches the dude while hes got a gun on laios. disarmed and restrained and handcuffed (he forgot to take the handcuffs out of his back pocket before his date made him go get condoms) (they are real. he is not practicing safe sane sex) bc his foster mom was an ex-marine and taught him how to do that

and laios is like phew! glad you were here! i really did not wanna get shot at again :) ok let me ring those condoms up. do you wanna be here when the cops show? i think this guys just drunk. um. so why did you have handcuffs?

kabru does leave before the cops show up. when he inevitably returns laios does remember him this time as "guy with the handcuffs and condoms" out loud in front of people and he sounds thrilled about it and kabru has to leave again as fast as possible bc it makes it sound like they were having crazy sex in the back and its making him insane bc now hes considering it. with the weird autistic gas station clerk who he has glimpsed drawing a man with a realistic horse cock with a look of complete boredom

[toxycodone]

I’m so glad Kui confirmed modern au Laios would be a minimum wage retail worker that’s so real

Laios either works night shift at Walmart or your local collectibles/game store and gives unsolicited recommendations