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ldysmfrst · 1 month ago

Text

Incomplete (3) - Something is Wrong...

Paring: Ateez OT8 x Plus-sized FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 3 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 8,272

Word count for Story: 18,866

Genre: Idol Soulmate AU

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This story will contain a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter contains panic attacks, unintentional causing of said panic attack.

Story Summary: Ateez are soulmates who earned their way to Fame once they found each other. What happens when a new pull comes during their Towards The Light World Tour? Does 8 really make 1?

INCOMPLETE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

“This way! It’s underground,” yells San, leading the way to the ladymate. The sea shanty sounded from San loud enough that there was no way his ladymate couldn’t hear it. He wasn't about to lose connection with you this time.

Seonghwa is right on San’s heels. He has felt the loss of the missing soulmate the longest. The feeling, compounded with the loss of his grandfather, propelled him forward. It was almost as if he had to slow down just so that he could follow San. Unlike Yeosang and San, his ability lets him know when a soulmate is nearby and what they are feeling, but he couldn’t use it to search for them.

Taking the escalator like they were stairs, San and Hwa were closely followed by Yeosang. Seeing the desperation in his oldest soulmate's eyes, he wasn’t about to let go of the silken rope binding him to the ladymate they were closing in on.

Keeping up with his hyungs, Jongho used what he could of his ability to keep his mates focused and not fearful or anxiety-ridden. It wasn’t until San came running back to the museum that Jongho finally believed that this was actually happening—his anticipation building towards having another bonded soulmate soon.

Some sasaengs in the past had figured out Captain's ability and tried to confuse him with it. A few times, they got close enough to him that it caused strange rifts in the group, but after consulting with a specialist, we were informed that if we had a new soulmate, they would have a connection to everyone. There would be no single soulmate connection.

Hwa, on the other hand, seemed to find someone to keep from somewhere, but they always became good friends. Look at how close his soulmates got with Stray Kids. Hwa would have kept the little blonde Aussie if Chan-hyung had let him– soulmate bond or not.

Reaching the correct parking garage floor, the group stopped, looked around, and trying to see anyone who could have been affected by what was happening. A few groups were laughing, talking, and having a good time, but none looked aware of people walking by, much less feeling a soulmate bond pull.

“There, the lady with our tour shirt on and the clear purple bag,” says Yeosang. The other three looked in the direction he was pointing.

Taking tentative steps forward, Yeosang pulls hard on the invisible rope connecting him to his new soulmate. He smiles when he sees your feet stop moving momentarily before stumbling forward as if resisting him.

San crescendos the song he made for you, moving closer to you without hesitating once he hears a sweet hum following his tune. San has only seen the back of his new lady soulmate, and he can already tell you are beautiful.

You have a lush backside with full hips, broad shoulders, shapely legs, and arms with the smoothest-looking skin. Don’t even get him started on your plum rump.

He and his soulmates joked about all of them being strong but slender until he started going to the gym and Jongho filled out. Now, more than ever, he was happy that he bulked up because this meant he could be your personal mountain.

As they have learned from past mistakes, San must be the first to connect with the new soulmate to initiate the metaphysical bond. Back when San found Hongjoong, Yunho, and Mingi, they introduced themselves as ‘bandmates.’ None of them realized they were soulmates until San hugged them. After that, each mate gained their ability, and everything fell into place rather quickly, with San taking the lead.

San jogs around to stand before you, the woman holding the last piece of their soul. He didn’t expect you to run into him, but you did and quickly snapped out of your trance. You step back, touching his chest with your fingertips brushing the skin of his collarbone. The energy from the bond hits his body like a cannon blast through each fingertip.

When he sees your attempt to walk away, Seonghwa steps up behind you. His natural reaction is to hold his soulmate, placing his warm hands on your chilled skin. Closing his eyes, he lets the chill of the bond form from your skin crash over his body like a tidal wave.

The four fully bonded soulmates can see your confusion, your body seemingly frozen.

Hwa finally opens his eyes to see everyone is there but hasn’t heard anything from anyone. You aren’t acting like a huge fan. Maybe you aren’t a fan and only have the shirt because you went with some friends who knew them. Surprisingly, this thought makes Hwa sad because, well, they are idols, and a non-fan won’t understand the lifestyle, which could cause problems.

You go to take a step forward out of Seonghwa’s hold, but he grips just a little tighter. He whispers, “Wait, please.” Looking at San, Hwa nods, prompting him to say anything.

Barley, loud enough to hear, you finally speak, “This isn’t real.”

Your voice sounds like the most beautiful notes in their world.

Ah, it’s denial, denial we can work with, thinks Jongho as he watches the three soulmates all fawn at you with heart eyes already.

With a warm, soft, and gentle smile, San steps towards you, the new baby mate, in the hands of his oldest mate and says, “Hello, Miss, I am Choi San. I think the nine of us need to sit down and talk.”

There was a moment of silence before a stuttered, “I… ah… have a plane to catch,” came from your lips. Which slightly confused everyone. Seonghwa, in particular, was confused because either fate had superb timing or something was amiss.

Jongho, at least has the smarts and tends to be the most level-headed one, asks, “You’re going on vacation now? Or going home?”

She looks at the man who spoke and whispers, “Choi Jongho.”

A smile graces the youngest soulmate; you know his name. This means that you are at least a fan of K-pop, if not a stan of Ateez.

“Yes, sorry. I am Choi Jongho. It’s nice to meet you,” he introduces himself.

You stare at the three before you, and a giggle sneaks out, but you still haven’t said anything more. This is when the remaining bonded mates join the circle around their new ladymate.

Unfortunately, this has started to attract the attention of people who pass by. They all understand that their time is limited once they get recognized. While they love Atiny, there is a better time for them to circle and vie for attention because it will become something akin to a shark frenzy.

“Oh, good! You found her, Sannie,” smiles Wooyoung. While they might not be an ability-match couple, they undoubtedly favored each other, which shows. Woo’s scent blankets the group around the circle, lowering the tensions.

“Christmas,” you murmur just above a whisper.

Joyfully bouncing, Wooyoung smirks, “So you did catch my scent, pretty.” Pretty is the first word that came to his head when you looked at him. You have the prettiest eyes he has ever seen.

“If she caught yours, then she must have felt my anchors,” Yunho comments while holding up Mingi. All the mates notice this and glance down at your ankle, worried that it is still hurting you since Mingi is still limping.

However, at this point, you had already leaned into Seonghwa, much to his delight. Now, however, you shifted to actually look at him. He watches with a soft, shy smile as your eyes dart across his face.

At first, he thought you were just accepting of him and the bond. Then he felt the panic building in your body, which was getting unhealthy in his eyes. Then again, any of his soulmates with any amount of panic is considered unhealthy. He concentrated on that feeling and tried to pull it into himself as he did with the others.

Nothing happens.

Hwa can still feel your emotions' instability. It isn’t working. He keeps trying to use his ability while attempting to remain calm and not add to your current state of disarray. Jongho pushes his ability to try to help keep Hwa from spiraling along with you.

Nothing.

“She hasn’t recognized us yet. We can’t help her. Hongjoong, I can’t,” Seonghwa says with a hint of desperation. His hands gripping your arms as thumbs rub in circles across your bare skin to comfort you.

He has also pulled you close to his body, not wanting to impose himself on you but offering another form of support. Seonghwa feels it’s the only support you are willing to accept right now.

San and Yeosang move, allowing Hongjoong to join you in the center. His eyes roam your form. Taking a deep breath, he relishes the addition of your Italian Stone pine blend to the rest of the soul mates. It has become the perfect balance with you in the center of it all.

“Do you know who I am?” questions Hongjoong with concern etched on his features. He knows you recognized the maknae, but it's not surprising, with millions of clips showing him singing like an angel while breaking apples with his bare hands.

“Captain,” you answer him with a shaky tone.

Pleased that you seem to be an Atiny, his eyes narrow as a smirk shows, “That is one of the many names Atiny uses, and it is my title. However, my soulmates don’t use that name unless we are in front of a camera. I am Kim Hongjoong, the second oldest of the Ateez soulmate bond.”

They watch you as you rapidly look at the rest of the members. They each agree with nods or hums. It's not common knowledge that Ateez is a bonded soulmate group. They have tried to keep it private.

Seonghwa gets ripples of happiness and relief from everyone.

“Soulmate bond? A whole group bond?” you question.

Nodding, Hongjoong answers, “The group of us, yes but I wouldn’t say we are whole yet. Boys…”

It’s then all attention is back on you. Everyone with a usable ability focuses on you, trying to get you to recognize the bond.

San starts your song back up.

Wooyoung scents the air heavily with his Mugo pine.

Yeosang pulls on the plaited silk rope and attempts to double its thickness.

Seonghwa and Jongho work together to help you escape your panicked state. They try to clear your mind of emotions so that you may think clearly and understand who they are to you.

“No. No, nonononoo,” you say, pulling away from Seonghwa and dropping to your knees as you continue to mumble, “Something is wrong, or I must be dreaming.”

“Y/n!” says a woman from just outside the circle.

San, ever the protector, with Jongho at his side, blocks the woman from getting near you. Their eyes glance at the guards, who start to make their way over. Hongjoong made a mental note to find out who let this woman get this close.

“Y/n! Excuse me, not to be rude, but let me get to my friend before she passes out,” another woman, closer to your age, demands.

The first woman steps up almost chest to chest with San, shaking off the guard who attempted to grab her wrist and says, “Back off or I will make you. I don’t care how famous you are.”

Hongjoong considers the seriousness of the two women who demand to get closer to you. He noticed they also wear concert merchandise and seemed to know your name.

With a nod, Jongho and San move enough to allow them to rush to your side. The two soulmates turn back to the center and close the gap. The privacy of what is happening is imperative, and it gets more challenging as the gathering crowd grows.

Joining you, kneeling on the parking garage floor, the bonded males watch as the women murmur to you calmly. They sound like they are coaching your breathing.

After some time, the feisty one stands to look at the members of Ateez and the gathering crowd. Turning to Hongjoong, she says, “I don’t know what your attention is with Y/n, but remaining here will just make her worse.”

“I would agree. We need to talk to her, but I am afraid that she won’t hear what we are saying,” laments Hongjoong, his eyes never leaving your kneeled form, blanketed by the younger of the two friends.

One of the bodyguards steps away from the human barricade that has formed around the eleven of you and says, “Sir, we have access to the conference room at the hotel if you wish to move there.”

“Thank you.” Hongjoong breaks his gaze on your form to meet that of the more forceful, older, leader-like friend: “We are staying at the hotel right around the corner. Maybe we can all talk there; I am sure she will need someone familiar with her right now.”

“What about our flight?” questions the younger and current human-esque blanket friend.

“That’s right. She mentioned she had a flight to catch. Do you three not live here?” San questioned.

They are all holding their breath because this time is very delicate for the nine soulmates. Breaking the bond that started with San and Seonghwa would permanently disable them. For the others who haven’t, they will have a permanent, hollow feeling in their chest.

The leader-like friend answered, “Kat and I don’t live here anymore. We live in Oregon. Y/n lives here. We have a flight in about 4 hours to return home.”

“Excuse me, Miss.” Seonghwa politely gains the attention of the leader-like friend. “We really must speak with your friend. Our manager will help you change your flight, and I will personally cover any fees or additional costs if you would come with us. Please?”

The two friends share an unspoken conversation. Finally, the older one turns to address Seonghwa, “Fine. BUT! We are not doing this because of who you are. You are requesting this meeting. You are causing whatever is happening to Y/n to happen. You will fix it. Understood?”

Nodding with a smile, Seonghwa agrees, “Of course, Miss. We take full responsibility for anything that happens with Y/n moving forward.”

“How many cars did you come in, Miss?” asks Jongho.

Both friends point to the rental car just a few feet away. “We were already getting in the car when you surrounded our friend. My name is Cindy, by the way. That is Kat, my only child. Y/n has been a family friend and a second child to me for almost 15 years.”

“Thank you, Cindy and Kat. I promise we will explain everything in the conference room,” Seonghwa says with another toothy smile. “Can I ride with you to the hotel? I can show you where to park, or you can follow the vans.”

“Hwa…” Jongho says softly, knowing that his match will keep trying to pull you to a calming center and wear himself down doing so.

The eldest soulmate sends Jongho a pleading look. It’s a broken look filled with hope and desperation, almost palpable, to do something to strengthen the connection between himself and you. The youngest nods in understanding. Hwa has to do this, or it will break him apart.

Looking at the trio in the middle, Jongho continues, “Hwa is the best choice right now to accompany Y/n. It wouldn’t be wise to leave her unattended.”

Cindy’s eyes narrow at Jongho before she reluctantly says, “Fine. You can go with us,” she relents suspiciously, looking at Seonghwa. “It’s a small car. You will have to sit in the front.”

“It’s settled. Hwa will go with you. The rest of us will go in the van,” Hongjoong says, pointing to the blacked-out, large passenger van that has pulled up with two additional cars. “The guards will be in the cars. When you pull out, Miss Cindy, it would be a good idea to follow between our van and the last guard car.”

“You got it, Captain,” says Cindy.

The drive literally around the block feels like it takes way too fast, but at the same time, it takes forever. The distance between the van and the car is almost too much for San, but since he is surrounded by 6 of his bonded mates, he can handle it.

Seonghwa, on the other hand, tries his best to sit in the front seat while angling himself to at least see you the whole trip. He politely answers simple questions from Cindy without giving away too much information while you are still seemingly not present.

Once the boys make it to the hotel, all but San quickly move to the conference room.

Hongjoong speaks with security to ensure they have started to figure out options for when it's time to go to the venue. He needs to know that you will be safe when not in the sight of one of the soulmates.

Wooyoung and Yunho started gathering water and sweets for you because they remembered all the warnings they got when Mingi went on his hiatus. The sugar will keep you from dropping worse, and staying hydrated during this time is vital.

Mingi was forced into a chair despite his protests to help by Yeosang and Jongho. His limping from your injury has gotten worse, and they need both of you to stop hurting. Not only did watching the two of you in pain hurt their hearts, but it would affect their performance tonight.

San stayed in the garage, waiting for Cindy to park the car. Once he heard the engine cut, he ran to your side of the car and helped you out. You either didn’t seem to know it was him, or the feel of the bond was lending to your acceptance of his help.

Seonghwa quickly exited and joined San, walking you into the building and the conference room. Glancing back to make sure the two friends were following. At the door, they were greeted by Hongjoong, their manager, and the head of their bodyguards.

Turning to San, Cindy, and Kat, Hongjoong instructs, “Please make your way inside. The boys have set up some refreshments. Hwa and Cindy, I believe the two of you need to speak with manager-nim to figure out the flight situation, and then you can join us.”

Kat and San nod, then guide you into the conference room with Hongjoong in tow.

“Miss Cindy, this is our main manager,” Seonghwa introduces the man standing in a simple suit and then gestures to the man dressed as a classic bouncer. “and here is our head of security.”

“Hello, I am Cindy. The other person with the short hair is Kat, and we are close friends with y/n. I guess we need to discuss the flight with you,” Cindy points to the manager. “Is there something else?” she questions, looking at the bodyguard.

The guard says, “Firstly, meeting such a protective friend is a pleasure. There are so many fake friends in the world today. Y/n is lucky to have the two of you, and it will be our job to keep the three of you safe.”

“We are in danger?!?” Cindy’s eyes widen at the new information.

Shaking his hands in protest, Seonghwa explains, “It isn’t that you are in danger. The crowd in the parking garage followed us. Your pictures will be online and in the tabloids. KQ will do its best to keep them out. However, in the meantime, we would be remiss not to ensure you are not disturbed between now and when you reach home.”

“Oh,” Cindy says with a bit of unease. “Um… Thank you for the concern, but won’t bodyguards just draw more attention to us?”

“That is where Mathew comes in,” the head of security says, gesturing to someone. A few seconds later, there is a guy dressed in emo-looking clothes. He looks Asian but not simultaneously; his eyes are crystal blue, and he has an undercut hairstyle.

“Mathew is one of the few of our team that tracks with stealth and blending in. He will join your group of friends and pose as either a boyfriend, friend, or brother to Kat, as they are close in age,” informs the guard.

“Wow, um. Okay. Well, that would be for Kat to decide. If Kat is comfortable with it, so am I,” Cindy says with determination. Mathew nods and heads into the conference room to speak with Kat.

“Miss Cindy, thank you again for your adaptability during this time,” smiles Seonghwa genuinely, almost short-circuiting Cindy’s brain for a second.

“You gotta stop doing that for now,” warns Cindy, confusing Hwa and causing his manager to laugh. “I am the first Atiny of the group. I knew of your group before your debut and have been trying to see you in concert since then. You are not my bias, but still, it's overwhelming when you smile like that.”

Hwa’s eyes widen briefly with an ‘o’ of his lips before he smiles again, “Sorry, I will try not to smile too much. If I am not your bias, may I know who is?”

Cindy narrows her eyes at him, so he clarifies, “I can warn them to take it easy on you during the meeting for now, though I can’t promise once you are back home if any of us will. It seems to be a game for the younger ones to try and steal fans.”

“I see. Well, you don’t have to warn anyone right now. I know who I should avoid, and warning them will give me more ammo,” Cindy giggles.

“Seonghwa-ssi, Hongjoong-ssi said something about covering expenses?” interrupts the manager.

“Yes, Cindy and Kat will miss their flight home. I agreed to cover their change-of-flight expenses. I will also cover their meals, transportation to LAX, and their stay in the hotel tonight,” says Seonghwa with a voice that tells everyone there is no other option.

“Very well,” the manager says. Reaching into his inner coat pocket, he pulls out a credit card and hands it to Cindy, “This is Seonghwa-ssi’s KQ expenses card. When you reach home, please return it to Mathew. If you two require anything between now and then, please purchase it with this card.”

“Seonghwa, you don’t have to. It’s fine. We can stay with relatives and take care of ourselves. Just helping with the tickets is sufficient,” Cindy says, taken back by the offer.

“It’s not that you can, Miss Cindy. It’s because I want to care for those who care for Y/n. It’s the least I can do in thanks to you being here,” pleads Seonghwa with almost puppy eyes.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you are hard to say no to?” questions Cindy with a smirk. Seonghwa laughs. “Fine. Thank you for the expense card. I will also save any receipts. Let me get you the flight information.”

Seeing that Cindy has finally agreed to everything, Seonghwa nods to both of them and enters the conference room. He sees that his bonded mates have sat to the far side of the room, allowing you to have unblocked access to the doors.

Kat is sitting at your side, having accepted cookies and water. Reaching out with his ability, Hwa can feel that you are calmer. Your skin has taken on a healthier hue. Your form also seems more relaxed as you converse quietly with your friend.

Hwa decides to walk over to the refreshment table to get water for himself and stand leaning against the wall. He wants to sit next to you. In all honesty, he wants you to sit in his lap but doesn’t want to crowd you like that.

It isn’t long before Cindy and the manager walk in and sit around the table. What shocks Hwa is Cindy’s choice to sit next to Kat and not on your other side. Cindy raises her eyebrow at Seonghwa and tilts her head towards the chair with a soft smile, which makes Hwa blush slightly.

Taking the hint, Seonghwa sits in the chair beside you, and the room becomes quiet. You look around the room, seemingly taking in everyone here– Ateez, the staff, and your friends, but you still say nothing.

“I guess I will start,” Hongjoong said, leaning forward in his seat at the head of the conference room. All eyes turned to him. “Miss Y/n, Miss Cindy, and Miss Kat, I am sure you know by now that we are Ateez, but many don’t know that we are a bonded soulmate group.”

“We each have abilities but haven’t gained our completion mark. About two years ago, we had all discussed that we most likely would never find all of our soulmates and become a complete bond. However, we know now that that isn’t the case,” informs Hongjoong as his eyes never stray from you.

You look at the captain like he should have more to say for a few moments before they watch you glance around the room again. Your emotions start to rise in trepidation. Seonghwa quickly looks between you and Jongho.

Jongho sees his companion’s movements and sends out a sense of calmness. To the rest of the soulmates, this feels like a blanket covering them in cool comfort.

“You…Okay… How…” you seem to be at a loss of words.

Kat shakes her head. Taking your hand, she speaks for you, asking, “Are you suggesting that Y/n is your missing soulmate?”

“Yes,” declares Hongjoong.

“Ladies,” Seonghwa starts. “We think you, y/n, are our missing soulmate for several reasons. It’s my fault that we didn’t connect with you sooner.”

Turning to face him, you interrupt, asking, “What do you mean sooner? What reasons? Why me? I am no one.”

“That won’t do,” speaks up Mingi with a growl. “You are not nor will you ever be a ‘no one,’ Y/n. Please do not speak of yourself so negatively. Let Hwa explain further; maybe you will understand what is happening.”

As you look down at your lap, everyone can see your cheeks have been painted rosy pink. Cindy and Kat find humor in your reaction to Mingi and snicker. If Hwa weren’t sitting next to you, he would have missed you smack Kat on the leg in protest.

Over the next almost hour, Seonghwa explains everything from the forming of Ateez to the events during their filming while in California for Coachella and ending with the concert. Another bonded mate would jump in to clarify or add information a few times.

“So once San could pin you at the museum, we couldn’t miss you again. It would have broken us more than we could ever explain,” finishes Hwa.

The boys sit and wait, watching as you take in the information. It worries them because you never reacted to anything they said during the whole spiel. They would look to Jongho a few times, who just shook his head, indicating that he wasn’t the one dampening your reaction.

Cindy shifts in her seat before she says, “I want to make things clear for you and Y/n.” Taking a deep breath, Cindy looks to y/n, who slightly nods, then focuses back on her lap, still quite like a mouse.

Excited to learn something about you, the soulmates lean into their bond. One thing is for sure– they weren’t prepared for what Cindy had to tell them.

He did, didn’t he?

He said he was Choi San.

Choi San wants to talk to you. Wait, no. He said the nine of us wanted to talk.

“I... ah… have a plane to catch,” you stumble out. Your mind is still considerate of your friends, who were like family to you. You watch as confusion graces the mountain of a man in front of you.

A voice to your right asks, “You’re going on vacation now? Or going home?”

Following the voice, you look to see who it is, and with a whisper, you say, “Choi Jongho.”

When you recognize the youngest member of Ateez, a smile graces his face as he introduces himself: “Yes, sorry. I am Choi Jongho. It’s nice to meet you.”

You nod with wide eyes as your hands start to shake.

This isn’t real.

There is no way.

Looking to the left, you see none other than Kang Yeosang. You cannot believe how cute he is up close. You giggle to yourself, thinking of all the Tic Toks of Yeosang saying, ‘I’m not cute,’ flutter through your brain because nothing right now is making sense.

Words are not coming.

You think you are going crazy as the delulu is finally manifesting in hallucinations now.

Breathing is happening because it is autonomic.

“Oh good! You found her Sannie,” another voice joins as you look past Yeosang to see the twerk prince himself, Jung Wooyoung.

When he gets closer, you are enveloped with the scent you smelled in the Grammy Museum. “Christmas,” you murmur just above a whisper.

The playful member smiles broadly and bounces in place, “So you did catch my scent, pretty.”

“If she caught yours, then she must have felt my anchors,” the tallest man you have seen in a long time speaks up while holding his “twin.”

At this point, your breathing has turned shallow. Unconsciously, your body starts leaning into the body behind you. You are not trying to run, but your mind and body are unsure of what is happening, what to do, and what to say.

All you know is that you would be on the floor without the man at your back. Speaking of the man at your back, you shift slightly to get a better look at him, and it’s like the world stops.

That is Park Seonghwa… like THE Park Seonghwa. Mars. Hwaseong. Angry Bird. Mama Hwa.

Your bias.

The one where you have an unhealthy amount of concert photos focused on the handsome beauty from the concert less than 24 hours before.

“She hasn’t recognized us yet. I can’t help her. Hongjoong, I can’t,” Seonghwa says with a hint of desperation. His hands grip your arms, thumbs rubbing in circles across your bare skin, pulling you close.

It’s like the sea parts when San and Yeosang break the inner circle that has formed around you to allow Kim Hongjoong to join you in the center. His eyes are roaming your form. It’s like he is not looking at you but into you, at the who of who you are.

It’s an uncanny feeling that you start getting dizzy from.

“Do you know who I am?” questions the leader.

“Captain,” you answer with a shaky tone.

His eyes narrow as a smirk shows, “That is one of the many names Atiny uses, and it is my title. However, my soulmates don’t use that name unless we are in front of a camera. I am Kim Hongjoong, the second oldest of the Ateez soulmate bond.”

You swallow and rapidly look at the rest of the members. They each agree with nods or hums. This is new information for you. You, after all, are a new stan of Ateez, a baby Atiny, and figured there was so much that you didn’t know.

“Soulmate bond? A whole group bond?” you question, feeling your skin vibrate. To begin with, soulmate bonds were challenging to find, but having a group bond to this extent was rare.

Nodding, Hongjoong answers, “The group of us, yes, but I wouldn’t say we are whole yet. Boys…” It’s then that everyone is looking back on you.

You hear the song start back up in your head from before it takes over all other mental tabs you had open.

The scent of Christmas trees becomes a whole forest, almost too much.

The thick rope around your chest is back and tighter, pulling you to the left, but you struggle against it.

The panic ebbs and wanes within you like a riptide.

“No. No, nonononoo,” you say, pulling away from Seonghwa, causing the boys to step back out of reflex. Everything stops. Silence rings in your ears, all scent has vanished, and nothing is holding you to yourself, much less to Earth anymore.

Dropping to your knees, you mumble, “Something is wrong… must be dreaming.”

“Y/n!” a familiar female voice comes from somewhere. Your ears pop as your brain kicks back online, and the natural environment around you floods in. It’s too much all at once but not enough of what you need.

What is it that you need, though? Something is missing again. You paw at the ground, almost like you are looking for something or ensuring Earth is still below you. Your breathing rapidly increases as your vision starts to fade in and out.

You are having a panic attack.

Again.

The first panic attack you ever had was why you missed going to Coachella. You ate lunch at this little hole-in-the-wall diner you loved, but it made you sick. Then, the rest of that week, any time you went near it, it was like your body remembered being sick and would kick you into a panic attack like you had PTSD or something. So you avoided it altogether, which wasn’t hard because the area was shut off for filming.

During the first Coachella weekend, you still had a headache from everything. Your doctors also suggested avoiding large crowds or anything non-routine for a bit. You still were getting symptoms like hyperventilating, getting dizzy, and having chest pains. You swore it was like your insides were hollowing out. You ended up in the ER, and they said it was just a panic attack.

You had to deny helping with Coachella the second weekend, even with the bonus pay, because you were scared you would be more in the way than helpful, especially with this new panic attack issue. The medications they gave you weren’t helping much either.

“Y/n! Excuse me, not to be rude, but let me get to my friend before she passes out,” you hear another voice, but everything sounds like you are underwater.

The first voice sounds closer, saying, “Back off, or I will make you. I don’t care how famous you are.”

Joining you, kneeling on the parking garage floor, Cindy and Kat take their time speaking to you calmly. They coach you into breathing exercises, bringing you slowly out of the dark pit you had started to spiral into. Both knew about the panic attacks, and Kat had them as well. Kat was a fantastic source of advice when you first got the diagnosis.

Seeing that you were improving, Cindy stood and looked at the members of Ateez plus the gathering crowd. Turning to Hongjoong, she says, “I don’t know what your intention is with Y/n, but remaining here will just make her worse.”

“I would agree. We need to talk to her, but I am afraid that she won’t hear what we are saying in her current state of mind,” says Hongjoong, his eyes never leaving you.

One of the men dressed in all-black suits steps away from the human barricade that has formed around the eleven of you and says, “Sir, we have access to the conference room at the hotel if you wish to move there.”

“Thank you.” Hongjoong breaks his gaze on you to talk to Cindy, offering, “We are staying at the hotel right around the corner. Maybe we can all talk there; I am sure she will need someone familiar with her right now.”

“What about our flight?” questions Kat, still grounding you in their arms.

“That’s right. She mentioned she had a flight to catch. Do you three not live here?” San questioned.

The feisty friend answered, “Kat and I don’t live here anymore. We live in Oregon. Y/n lives here. We have a flight in about 4 hours to return home.”

“Excuse me, Miss.” Seonghwa politely gains Cindy’s attention. “We really must speak with your friend. Our manager will help you change your flight, and I will personally cover any fees or additional costs if you would come with us. Please?”

Cindy and Kat share an unspoken conversation. Finally, Cindy turns to Seonghwa, “Fine. BUT! We are not doing this because of who you are. You are requesting this meeting. You are causing whatever is happening to Y/n to happen. You will fix it. Understood?”

Nodding and smiling, Seonghwa agrees, “Of course, Miss. We take full responsibility for anything that happens with Y/n moving forward.”

“How many cars did you come in, Miss?” asks Jongho.

They point out the rental car just a few feet away. “We were already getting in the car when you surrounded our friend. My name is Cindy, by the way. That is Kat, my only child. Y/n has been a family friend and a second child to me for almost 15 years.”

“Thank you, Miss Cindy and Miss Kat. I promise we will explain everything in the conference room,” Seonghwa says with another toothy smile. “Can I ride with you to the hotel? I can show you where to park, or you can follow the vans.”

“Hwa…” Jongho says softly but seems to stop at the pleading look he gets from Seonghwa. “Hwa is the best choice right now to accompany Y/n. It wouldn’t be wise to leave her unattended.”

Cindy’s eyes narrow at the choice of wording. Her mind is trying to piece together what is going on. “Fine. You can go with us,” she relents suspiciously, looking at Seonghwa. “It’s a small car. You will have to sit in the front.”

“It’s settled. Hwa will go with you. The rest of us will go in the van,” Hongjoong says, pointing to the blacked-out vehicles. “The guards will be in the cars. When you pull out, Miss Cindy, it would be a good idea to follow between our van and the last guard car.”

“You got it, Captain,” says Cindy.

With a hovering Seonghwa, Kat helps you stand and takes you to the car. She tries to get you to laugh by telling you that MamaHwa is looking at her with puppy eyes. You can only concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other right now.

Once in the car, you still feel a softer pull on your chest. It is nowhere near what it was before or while Ateez surrounded you, but it was still there.

Kat sits as a quiet reminder that this is real. You keep your eyes downcast because you can feel Seonghwa’s eyes on you, and you are nervous about looking at him.

On the other hand, Cindy can’t stand the tension in the car. “So Seonghwa, you have connected to her, haven’t you?”

Not looking away from you, he answers, “You could say that, but I would prefer to discuss that with everyone together.”

“You still have a concert tonight. This meeting is going to have to be a quick one. I am not sure she will be able to process everything as quickly as you want her to,” comments Cindy. “She keeps herself guarded. I guess it is good that there are eight of you then.”

“We will all be there for her. As I said before, she is our responsibility from now on,” says the man sitting in the front seat, as if the world had just given him a significant gift wrapped in the most complex box he had ever seen.

Soon, you feel the car stop moving, automatically prompting you to unbuckle your seatbelt. Your door opens before you can get it, and a hand appears. You glance up to see that it is San. You feel your body want to move to him, almost as if he was a magnet.

You hear your mom in your head say, “Following your instincts, Y/n. It is your greatest gift.” With this in mind, you place your hand in his. The second you connect with him, the song in your head becomes clearer but softens, granting your mind a chance to relax.

Once out of the car, you look around, noting that everyone else has also gotten out, and Seonghwa is now standing next to you. The two men walk you into the building and guide the small group to the conference room.

At the door, they were greeted by Hongjoong, their manager, and the head of their bodyguards. Seeing the leader again sends shivers down your spine, but nothing happens.

Hongjoong instructs, “Please make your way inside. The boys have set up some refreshments. Hwa and Cindy, I believe the two of you need to speak with manager-nim to figure out the flight situation, and then you can join us.”

When you enter the small conference room with Kat, San, and Hongjoong, the feeling in your chest almost completely disappears. You can’t help but smile a little at the looks of anticipation and worry that grace the faces of one of the most popular K-pop groups you have ever known.

“You can go ahead and sit here,” offers Yunho as he pulls out the chair in front of you. “We figured it may be the most comfortable spot for you. Your friends can sit next to you as well.”

You nod and smile at their consideration of not trapping you in the room. They don’t know that you aren’t one to run when you freak out, but their actions bring their own sense of security and trust.

A water bottle appears next to you as someone opens it and sets it down. Looking up, you see Wooyoung smiling, “Please drink some water. We also have cookies, candies, and brownies for you to eat, or we can order anything you like.”

“Thank you,” you say softly. “I could go for a cookie. Anything without oats or cocoa, please.”

Hongjoong is the closest to the platter of cookies and plates up two peanut butter, two white chocolate chip macadamia nuts, and two Snickerdoodle cookies. He brings them over with napkins and places them between you and Kat.

“I put two of everything on the plate for you and Kat. These are all the non-cocoa-based cookies over there. I hope there is something you like in the bunch,” he says.

You glance at Kat, who is smiling from ear to ear because their bias just served them cookies. You shake your head, grab a white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie, and start eating it as someone else walks in and takes up a corner to lean against.

Kat giggles and tells the man of their K-pop dreams: “For someone who knows nothing about Y/n, you sure know how to find her favorites.”

Kat then took one of the peanut butter ones to eat, and Hongjoong smirked with confidence and sat at the head of the table.

Leaning towards Kat, you ask, “Where is Cindy and Seonghwa?”

“They are outside dealing with the flight situation,” informs Kat, leaning closer to you. “How are you doing?”

“I feel like I entered a Twilight Zone episode,” you breathe out, taking another bite of the cookie and glancing at the men in the room. Some of them catch your eyes while they are talking amongst themselves. “This is real, right?”

“Umhumm, you have the dream of almost every Atiny in the world. You have caught the attention of Ateez,” smirks Kat.

“I don’t want Ateez's attention,” you whisper. “I will bring them nothing good.”

Kat stares at you, “Y/n. Be real yourself right now. Just wait to see what they have to say.”

You go to respond but hear the door of the conference room open, and Seonghwa enters, walking to the table with the snacks. What surprises you is the fact that he stays there. You look at Kat with furrowed brows and then back at Seonghwa.

“Why is he over there?” you question in hushed tones. It was really meant just to be for yourself, but loud enough, Kat hears and chokes a little on their water.

“Is someone getting attached to their bias?” says Kat teasingly.

“Oh, hush you,” you try not to blush at the comment. “He wouldn’t stop looking at me in the car and, well, you were there! Why the distance now?”

“Don’ know, maybe he is giving the others a chance to get close,” suggests Kat.

It isn’t long before Cindy and the manager walk in and sit around the table. Cindy sits next to Kat, and the manager sits next to Hongjoong. Once the room starts to settle, Seonghwa sits in the chair beside you, and the room becomes quiet.

You look around the room, seemingly taking in everyone here– Ateez, the staff, and your friends, but you still say nothing.

“I guess I will start.” Hongjoong leans forward as all eyes turn to him. “Miss Y/n, Miss Cindy, and Miss Kat, I am sure you know by now that we are Ateez, but many don’t know that we are a bonded soulmate group.”

You look at the captain like he should have more to say for a few moments before you glance around the room again, waiting for someone else to chime in. Your mind is reeling with several possibilities and a barrage of negative conclusions.

You are on the verge of spiraling again when it feels like a blanket of comfort covers you. It’s a coolness to your skin but a stillness of your mind that you can’t help leaning into.

“You…Okay… How…” you attempt to say, but you are at a loss. You have questions to ask and things to say that all want to come out at once, but you can’t seem to organize them in a way that makes sense.

Taking your hand, Kat shakes her head, asking, “Are you suggesting that Y/n is your missing soulmate?”

“Yes,” declares Hongjoong.

Your heart shudders at the declaration. There has to be something else. There has to be another thing it could be. You glance at Kat as they give you that look again, the one that says to wait and see what they have to say.

“Ladies,” Seonghwa starts. “We think you, y/n, are our missing soulmate for several reasons. It’s my fault that we didn’t connect with you sooner.”

You turn to face him. Your thoughts finally in an order you interrupt, asking, “What do you mean sooner? What reasons? Why me? I am no one.”

“That won’t do,” Mingi's deep voice says. “You are not nor will you ever be a ‘no one,’ Y/n. Please do not speak of yourself so negatively. Let Hwa explain further; maybe you will understand what is happening.”

Feeling like you just got scolded by one of the hottest rappers in the world, you look down at your lap, attempting to hide the blush from the room. It isn’t the first time you have been told that you do not hold yourself in a good light, but hearing it from him brings on a new form of embarrassment.

Cindy and Kat start snickering at your reaction to Mingi, and you smack Kat on the leg in protest. They know of your newfound attraction to the second-tallest member and are seemingly more at ease with this situation than you are.

“So once San could pin you at the museum, we couldn’t miss you again. It would have broken us more than we could ever explain,” finishes Hwa.

You force yourself not to react to anything they say or interrupt during the whole spiel. About halfway through the information dump, the blanket pulls away, but you can maintain yourself just fine.

You have put together that your panic attacks started because you almost met Seonghwa at the hole-in-the-wall diner. Then you had the chance to meet them all at Coachella twice. You also could have met them walking around town while they were filming. So many missed chances to meet them.

Cindy shifts in her seat before she says, “I want to make things clear for you and Y/n.” Taking a deep breath, Cindy looks at you. You know what she wants to say, and she isn’t wrong to tell them because if they don’t hear it now, then they won’t understand.

You hesitantly nod, then focus back on your lap, remaining quiet as you prepare your mind for rejection, yelling, coarse words, and any other harsh reaction they had every right to have. You didn’t see the looks of anticipation on their faces.

Kat takes your hands in theirs and nods to Cindy, knowing the next part of the meeting won’t be easy.

With a serious look, Cindy meets each of their eyes before she stops at Seonghwa and says, “Y/n…Y/n’s soulmate was murdered June 15, 2016– on her 18th birthday.”

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