#LOVEyourselfFIRST

[his-essex-bitchh-doe]

Long time 🖤

[girltalkcollectives]

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

This entry is from an old relationship

Have you ever felt like you're the only one trying in a relationship? Like you're pouring your entire heart into something while they're just... there?

I'm sitting in my car right now, typing this on my phone because I can't be in my apartment. Because he's there, probably not even noticing that I left an hour ago. Probably hasn't even looked up from his game to realize I'm gone. And the worst part? I already know when I go back, I'll act like everything's fine.

It's such a specific type of heartbreak - loving someone who doesn't love you back but stays anyway. Because that's the thing: he stays. He's still here. Still says "goodnight." Still goes through the motions. But that's all they are - motions.

I keep a list in my notes app of all the signs I try to ignore:

How he takes hours to reply to my texts but I can see him active online.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" in months, just replies "you too" when I say it.

How he only wants to see me when it's convenient for him.

The way he talks about his future without mentioning me in it.

You know what the worst part is? I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry at myself. For staying. For making excuses. For thinking maybe if I love him hard enough, he'll start loving me back. For becoming the kind of person who checks their boyfriend's likes on Instagram at 3am, looking for signs of what I already know.

Tonight he asked what I wanted for dinner like everything was normal. Like I hadn't spent the whole day crying in my car because he forgot my birthday. Like he hadn't introduced me as his "friend" at last week's party. Like I haven't been dying inside every time he pulls away when I try to hold his hand in public.

My best friend keeps asking why I stay. I wish I had a better answer than "because I love him." But that's the whole stupid truth. I love him. I love him so much it physically hurts. I love him even though I know - I KNOW - he doesn't love me back.

Do you know how pathetic it feels to plan your whole day around someone who probably doesn't think about you at all? To get excited when they text you first, only to realize they just need something? To lie awake at night wondering what she has that you don't? (Because there's always a "she" - the one they like on every post, the one they talk about a little too much, the one they light up around in a way they never do with you.)

The dumbest part is that I keep waiting for some big dramatic moment. Like maybe one day it'll get so bad that leaving will feel like the only option. But it's not big dramatic moments. It's small things. It's a thousand paper cuts of indifference.

It's the way he doesn't ask about my day.

It's the half-hearted hugs.

It's the "maybe next time" when I suggest doing something together.

It's the way he can go weeks without seeing me and it doesn't bother him at all.

It's how he never puts his phone down when we're together.

It's the fact that I can't remember the last time he was excited to see me.

My mom always said you should be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. I used to think that was just something people say. Now I understand. Now I know exactly what she meant. Because this? This isn't it.

But here's the really messed up part - I'm still hoping things will change. Still analyzing every tiny gesture for signs that maybe he's starting to feel something real. Still trying to be the perfect girlfriend, like if I just try hard enough, he'll suddenly realize he loves me too.

I know how this ends. I've read this story before. I'm not stupid. I know he's never going to wake up one day and suddenly love me the way I love him. I know I deserve better than someone who makes me feel like an option.

But knowing you deserve better and actually leaving are two very different things.

So here I am, sitting in my car, writing this post. And in a few minutes, I'll go back upstairs. He won't ask where I've been. I won't tell him I've been crying. We'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and tomorrow we'll wake up and do it all again.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back.

It's knowing they don't love you back and staying anyway.

[hawaii-mrsgrey]

Welcome, September!

Huft,

Agustus kemarin benar-benar seperti roller coaster, yah. Terlalu banyak plot twist yang diluar ekspektasi. Plan-plan besar yang kita buat di awal malah membuat kita kecil di akhir. Memang yah, manusia hanya bisa berencana tapi lupa bahwa Tuhan yang menentukan segala jalannya.

Tapi, yang sudah berlalu biarlah. Sekali pun ada kesempatan untuk mengulang, aku tidak ingin mengubah apapun itu dan aku bersyukur bisa melewati kejadian-kejadian itu dan mampu melewatinya.

Dan, di awal bulan ini seperti biasanya, akan banyak sekali doa-doa dan harapan baru yang selalu senantiasa mengudara. Banyak sekali semoga-semoga yang berharap tersemogakan. Iya, semoga.

September.

Sederhana saja; rezeki yang lancar, jam tidur yang cukup, badan yang sehat, serta mental yang kuat.

Trying to be the best version of myself everyday.

Again and again.

Jum, 1 September | Pagi hari | Di tempat ibu

[blackboyjoy70]

What if I fall?…Oh, but Darling…What if you fly?

[manifestisnow]

Affirmations are amazing to help you get what it is you desire. Check out this article to find out more.

[thepathetickind]

by laurenmaerie, just let me be

[samarthisnothere]

"In every individual, there is a decline happening internally. Some have given up capturing moments, others have abandoned dressing well. Some are struggling to experience love, while some have developed a fondness for solitude. There are those who are unable to connect with their friends. These peculiar times have arrived, bringing with them a profound lesson about the human condition."

Just me talking to myself

[luckybmb]

Say it again 🙌💯

[riponkhanovi]

Breaking Barriers: Ending Body Shaming for Good!"

[megpie]

Oh, this gets my heart tonight. "In the times I had been struggling, I still held space for those who needed me." --- absolutely this. I am trying so hard to learn to be more careful with who I allow close. Because I'm a GIVER, my dudes. I'll drain myself dry for those I love. There will never, ever, EVER be a time that I'm too busy or have too much on my plate and let that = neglecting my people. I will *never* be too busy, if I love you. I'll find a way, whether it's my time, my energy, my hugs, or just my ear to listen. My relationships are intentional//not transactional. I don't care about what I can get out of you. I don't care if you're asking too much. If I choose you//I *got* you. I remind my child of this all the time -- it doesn't matter how much she needs from me. It might be a lot, but it will never be too much. That's how love works, man. 🖤 But, that's WHY I'm trying to learn to be better at being intentional with who I allow in my zone. I know I'm a fiercely loyal little momma bear type: family, friends, relationships. Once you're in, I got you. So, I have to be careful who I let in, in the first place. I seem to struggle with that. Trying to remember that: all people can be good people. But that doesn't mean they're safe people. Red flags can feel like butterflies when all you've ever known is chaos, energy vampires can be stealthy until it's too late, and - maybe some people just change their minds, and stop being who you thought. It's ok to cut those ties too. Because there's nothing more lonely than being alone with someone else. No one else out here is gonna protect me, like me. Good thing I heckin' love me. ❤️ #samiravivette #poetryofig #wordsaremagic #wordsarepowerful #writerslife #lovelikethemoon #lovelylove #loveagain #loveanyway #lovealways #lonelynights #lonelyheart #datingafter40 #datingishard #singlemomproblems #singlemomlife #findingmyself #findinglove #loveyourselffirst https://www.instagram.com/p/CpJ6XKkOFIW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[imavilove]

Love

Love struggled with eating, so he made sandwiches everyday and feed Love.

Love bit his nails, so she bought him anti-biting nail-gel and reminded Love to put it on.

Love had Scars, so he bought Love a scar-fading creme.

Love forgot valentines day, but she made a box with all the good memories along a rose.

Love had bad period cramps, so he made sure to always give her tons of chocolate.

Love had a habit of punching walls, but she tried to stop him and treat him with gentleness.

But after all, she never stopped cutting and he never stopped biting nails. She never ate without feeling bad and he never stopped punching open his knuckles. They never loved themselves first to begin with.

They break up.

Maybe after all.. you have to love yourself first..

------------------------------------------------

Nah fr.. I learned this myself. I was always in denial, but most people find it easier to find someone who loves them than to learn how to love themselves.

[blackboyjoy70]

I never go the #superhero route for #halloween but I wanted to do something different. So this year I'm Peter Parker aka Spider-Man. Your favorite neighborhood web-slinger 🙂🙃

#spiderman #retxed70 #dexter

[thepathetickind]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by by laurenmaerie (@thepathetic.kind)

struggling with the concept of beauty _by laurenmaerie

[luckystorein22]

Does Evian natural mineral water rust its bottles or caps when they’re sealed inside the factory because of their exposure to air while being transported or delivered?

No, Evian natural mineral water does not rust its bottles or caps when they are sealed inside the factory or during transportation and delivery. Evian is a well-known brand that takes extensive measures to ensure the quality and integrity of their products.

The bottles and caps used by Evian are typically made of materials like plastic or glass, which are resistant to rust. Rusting is a process that occurs when iron or steel comes into contact with oxygen and moisture. Since Evian bottles and caps are not made of these materials, they do not rust.

Furthermore, during the manufacturing process, the bottles and caps are thoroughly inspected and sealed in a controlled environment to maintain their quality and prevent any contamination. They are designed to protect the water from external factors, including air exposure, which could potentially affect the product's freshness or integrity.

While transportation and delivery can expose the products to various environmental conditions, including changes in temperature and humidity, they are packaged and handled in a way that minimizes any potential impact on the bottles or caps. Evian and other reputable water brands prioritize the safety and quality of their products, ensuring that they reach consumers in excellent condition.

[cyarskaren52]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by SAFE Halton (@safehalton)

safehalton Repost from @supporteducaterecover using @RepostRegramApp - When you start to miss a person who is not healthy for you, remember, the difference between who you thought they were, who you wanted them to be, and who they actually are and what they did to your life.

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#endvas #SAFE #halton #vas #domesticviolence #postivevibes #healthyrelationships #loveyourselffirst #domesticviolenceawareness

[luckybmb]

🙏❤️