#LOVE how Atlas wasn’t even in this chapter and yet he still manages to piss me off just as much

[cupcake-bee-boy]

*very deep inhale*

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

^ a summary of my overall reaction while reading this, featuring my Sheriff Jimmy plushie that I was cuddling the whole time.

OMG, this chapter was so- just- Absolutely AMAZING!! Your writing is so wonderful, always has been, but this chapter, I just- I can’t even begin to truly describe it, but I’ll try anyway.

First of all, I really love how well you can write the various people’s voices. You consistently nail Jimmy and especially Tango, but in this chapter I really noticed Grian, BDubs, and Ren’s lines were SO in character. I could hear BDubs perfectly, as if he was actually speaking! You are very talented in this aspect.

Also, I absolutely love huge, super long chapters. Who cares what tumblr and her block limit think, you should be allowed to post super long stuff. Anyways, yeah, I just really love the length of this thing! It took me 2 hours, tho I did have to stop and pace several times because I would get too excited and not be able to read lol. The power you have over me.

And Tango, goodness, I know why he’s acting this way! I know why he believed the others would kick him to the curb and Jimmy wouldn’t love him and that he should face Hels alone. I knew those first two things were coming. But man, if it doesn’t HURT. Tango has suffered so much and he doesn’t even get why his soulmate feels sorry for him! I just want him to be okay.

And now they’re in Hels! Alone! Without telling anybody!! (I feel like Jimmy, in all his feelings, might not have thought to send out a message about what happened, tho I could be wrong)

And now they’re going to see Bravo again and quote possibly meet Timmy 😈😈😈 I can’t wait. I can’t wait to find it for sure what that line about loving the sun’s shadow meant!!!! I just- AAHHH!! This is exhilarating.

I can barely contain myself irl

And also!! I know I’m skipping around all over the place, but I really liked how near the beginning of the chapter, with Impulse knowing what might be best for Tango and Jimmy feeling like he’s useless and unwanted and a bad friend (stupid watchers). What really hurt was when it was literally JIMMY who brought up the idea of making it completely dark for Tango and he saw the dawning of realization on Impy’s face, meaning that he hadn’t even THOUGHT of that, and then the era hers have the sheer AUDACITY to be like “omg Jimmy you’re so fucking useless you price of shit” like go away!! The watchers should all just leave (except for Grian and his weird situation, love you pesky bird)

And SPEAKING of Grian and his watcher connections, the fact that Jimmy literally heard his thoughts about the firewall?! Mmmmm, I’m going to DIE.

Also! Etho being able to figure out the whole portal stuff so easily, just like Patho. I live both of them so much, your honor. I mean, Patho is very cool and interesting and also hilarious because of how much he seems to think everyone should praise him just for being smart. And then, meanwhile, you have Etho, who is just

Quirky~

AGHHH I love everything about all of this so, so, So, SO much!!!!!!!! You and lunarcrown have created an absolutely ASTOUNDING story. You both will forever and ever have my awe and respect.

There’s so many more things I want to say, small details I want to mention, but alas, it is nearly 3:40 am for me :( I should sleep

As a parting thought, I really think that sometime in the fic someone should shatter Atlas’ stupid sunglasses. Just absolutely crushed to bits. This is of course in reference to when he got beat up and was just happy his glasses didn’t have a scratch. Well, he should have his glasses go through Hell(s) because he’s a stinky poo poo man.

from eden, part IX (act II)

Word count: 15,401 Warnings: Self-deprecating thoughts (not really, Jimmy’s just a listener and doesn’t know it), strong language, internalized racism, past abuse/experimentation, dehumanization, self-hatred, kissing, mature implications (fade to black), voluntary decapitation Summary: The Double Lifers have successfully thwarted the invasion by Hels Tek, but not unscathed. Now that Tango’s been outed as Bravo’s doppelgänger, the remaining threads are starting to unravel, and Jimmy suddenly finds himself fighting to save Tango from his own inner demons. Can their love survive the fallout?

A/N: This chapter had to get split into two parts bc Tumblr sucks, here's a link to the first half if u missed it. Hope y'all enjoy, please reblog/comment if you do!

Also please don’t think too hard abt the technical portal/redstone junk. I’m throwin a lotta random terms and conditions out there in the hopes of creating a feasible explanation for how portal travel works, and how Hels differs from other worlds in that regard. It’s possible there are contradictions or other things that I didn’t fully think through, but these details aren’t really important. Just try to suspend ur disbelief. - Aqua

~*~

from eden, part IX (act II) - no tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony

~*~

“Right then. Uh, thank you all for coming on short notice.”

Grian’s tentative welcome is met with a chorus of rather subdued greetings from the Double Lifers. Everyone is gathered in a loose semicircle around spawn, standing in their respective soulbound pairs and groups. Jimmy would’ve preferred to have this conversation sitting down, inside somewhere, but Tango had insisted on spawn.

Only now does Jimmy realize that the open nature of the forest clearing at spawn is less enclosed than a room filled with fourteen people would feel, and he understands.

Tango hadn’t been very talkative on the way over. But every time he said something, it was with that same forced ‘Everything’s fine!’ kind of attitude. It’s really starting to frustrate Jimmy, making him want to grab Tango by the shoulders and shout, ‘No, actually, everything’s not fine, and that’s okay!’

But he doesn’t think that’d be well received at the moment.

Tango, standing beside Jimmy, is still maintaining his fake nonchalance. To an untrained observer, he’d actually look quite casual. Simply standing with his hands in his pockets, listening intently to Grian with a plain, but not unpleasant, expression. The only indication Jimmy has that he’s at all uncomfortable is the complete lack of movement.

He doesn’t fidget, doesn’t pace, doesn’t shift his weight- all things that might otherwise be taken as signs of anxiety, but are usually normal for Tango. The stillness, though subtle, is concerning. It means he’s tense and on-guard. As if expecting an attack at any second. Which, to be fair, Jimmy doesn’t blame him for. 

But more concerning is the fact that Tango can so easily and convincingly pretend that everything’s fine. He must’ve had a lot of practice.

(Ten years, remember?)

(Of course he’s a good liar.)

(Surprise, surprise.)

Grian clears his throat. “So, as we all know… there was an attack yesterday by some strange fellas who came in through a hacked portal of some sort. I’ve locked the world down for the moment, but until we know all the who’s, why’s, and how’s, I’m afraid that’s only a temporary solution… since I’m sure you all don’t wanna be stuck here forever.” 

He says it matter-of-factly, not a hint of any frustration, annoyance, or other ill-feeling in his voice. But Jimmy sees Tango’s face twitch anyway. Unsurprisingly, the guilt is getting to him.

“But that’s why we’re here,” Grian continues, taking a more upbeat tone. “Tango has kindly agreed to explain a little better what’s goin’ on, so hopefully, we can get to the bottom of this and uh… come up with a plan for moving forward.” He gestures invitingly towards Tango. “Tango?”

(Here we go…)

Tango clears his throat. “Right, yeah, thanks.” He takes a small step forward, casting a quick glance around the clearing. “Okay, so here’s the deal. I spawned in a world called Hels, where every player is sort of an evil counterpart to an overworld player elsewhere in the universe. At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from the Helsknight fiasco.”

Jimmy can actually see the sudden realization that settles over all the present Hermits- minus Pearl, who seems as out of the loop as the others.

Grian’s eyes widen. “Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense…”

“Oh, dudes,” Ren breathes, running a clawed hand through his hair. “Not gonna lie, I completely forgot about that…”

“Same here,” Impulse says, looking stunned. “I mean, it was over and done with so fast, and Wels didn’t seem worried, so I guess none of us really thought to look into it? Man…”

Scott puts a hand up. “Um, what’s tha’ Helsknight fiasco?” he asks, frowning.

“Oh, right.” Tango scratches the back of his head. “So, you guys know of Welsknight, right? One of our fellow hermits?” At the group’s hesitant nods, he continues, “On Hermitcraft’s seventh world, there was this player who randomly joined and attacked Wels. None of us ever saw him, but when Wels explained the situation later… he said Helsknight was some kinda evil clone, and that he came from a place called Hels.”

Murmurs of surprise and confusion ripple through the group. Jimmy longs to put a hand on Tango’s shoulder as a reassurance, but based on how tense he is, that’d probably set him off.

“Wait, really?” Pearl asks, her antennae curling in surprise. “What’re the chances of that?”

“I know,” Cleo agrees, “it was really strange, in hindsight…”

“So this Helsknight guy,” Joel says, knitting his brows together. “He’s what Bravo was talkin’ about, one of those Hels players? Like all the other people that came through the portal?”

“Yeah,” Martyn chimes in, “I- I noticed a lot of uh, ‘Hels’ in the names in chat. Or like, ones with ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ kinda vibes.”

“Yep.” Tango nods stiffly. “Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t know Helsknight or- or how he joined Hermitcraft, but it was obvious he was Wels’s counterpart. I mean, he said he was ‘all the darkest parts’ of Wels, right?” He folds his arms. “Well, I’m that for Bravo. A sort of uh- a personification of his badness, I guess.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bigb cuts in, holding his hands up. “So- so you’re sayin’ that we all have these… Hels versions of ourselves?”

“Evil doppelgängers, yeah,” Tango amends. “I mean, I don’t know why it’d only be for some players and not others, and Hels is plenty big enough for every player in the universe to have a counterpart. You go to any of the major cities around spawn, and it’ll definitely feel that way.”

“What’s this… Hels world like?” Pearl asks, her red eyes wide with a sort of morbid fascination.

Tango’s expression darkens. “It’s an ancient world, infinite and deadly. The overworld and nether are fused into one crazy, messed-up realm full of these weird hybrid kinda biomes, and- and you can’t access the end. The bedrock ceiling makes it so hostile mobs spawn basically everywhere, but you can’t find naturally spawning passive mobs for like, hundreds of thousands of blocks around spawn, ‘cause the early players murdered them all. And no portal travel in or out- at least, that’s what we thought.”

Jimmy’s starting to see why Bravo described Hels as ‘an inescapable prison of horrific violence and suffering.’ 

Grian raises his eyebrows. “No end?”

“No portals?” Bdubs echoes disbelievingly.

Etho, who’s been listening with rapt attention, tilts his head. “That Bravo guy, he mentioned something about my, uh… my doppelgänger?”

Tango shrugs. “He must’ve met them at some point in the last ten years, yeah. I- I dunno, I never did.” He pauses, creasing his brows as he glances around the circle again. “Actually, I don’t think I ever met any of your guys’s Hels. Or, if I did, I don’t remember.”

That makes Jimmy frown. “What do you mean?”

Tango gives Jimmy a sidelong look. “I uh, I wasn’t really that social for most of my time there, I spent my childhood being a general menace- most kids do, actually. There’s no infrastructure to look after kids, we- they’re basically on their own. So you can imagine it’s- it’s an interesting world to grow up in.” Idly, he kicks at a clump of grass. “Bunch’a little monsters runnin’ around unsupervised, causing chaos, trying not to get brutally killed by hostile mobs and players, it was great.”

Horror seizes Jimmy. “That’s awful.”

“That’s just how it was,” Tango says bluntly. “I mean, try setting something like that up without an admin, right? See how that goes.”

“Wait, Hels doesn’t have an admin?” Grian repeats.

“Nope. At least, not when I was there.” Tango shrugs. “They hadn’t for a long time before I even spawned, so- so the whole place was basically anarchy, every player for themself.”

Aghast, Scar shakes his head. “What in the world…”

“How long did you spend living like that?” Impulse asks softly, his eyes sad.

Tango’s avoiding everyone’s eyes now, staring off somewhere into the middle distance. “Oh, probably ‘til I was like… fifteen or sixteen? Somewhere in the teen stage? That’s when I met Atlas.” A bitter smile splits across his face. “He told me he was recruiting for his redstone company, Hels Tek, and- and of course he threw in lots of cheap flattery, blah blah blah, and in my young, naive stupidity, I fell hook, line, and sinker. Turns out all he wanted me for was a blaze farm.”

There’s a brief silence.

“What?” Jimmy asks, confused. Is that what Atlas had meant about a farm design? Did they just want to force Tango to make farms for them? He knows Tango’s a bit of an innovator in that regard, but that’s an awful lot of trouble to go through for something that could easily be done by someone else.

“He… wanted you to build a blaze farm?” Impulse asks slowly, brows knitting together.

Tango laughs; a sharp, dry exhale. “No, no. Not to build one. To be one.” He reaches a hand up to tap one of the blaze rods hovering around his head. “I uh, I dunno if you guys have noticed, but these things here aren’t just for show. They’re real, functional blaze rods, and they just so happen to be respawnable.”

Jimmy’s stomach drops.

Oh.

(There we go, now they’ve got it.)

(Makes sense, right?)

(Honestly, it’s so obvious…)

The clearing is deathly silent now. All Jimmy can hear is his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. Everything is clicking into place, all the strange things he’s seen and heard suddenly making perfect, horrible sense.

They used Tango as a blaze farm. An actual sentient player, reduced to nothing more than a simple mob. A player with complex thoughts and feelings, with creative ideas and passions, with hopes and fears and dreams. They locked him up like an animal to use for profit- and even now, ten years later, he still can’t fully escape from it.

Jimmy has a sinking feeling he knows what Tango’s nightmares are about.

Tango keeps talking. “They didn’t start with that, of course.” There’s a bored sort of quality to his voice, like he’s merely commentating on the weather. “There was this uhh awkward phase where I thought I was helping with redstone experiments, when actually I was the test subject.”

It’s kind of surreal, actually. To be standing here and talking about this so casually. It’s like Jimmy’s having a nightmare he can’t wake up from.

“And once I caught on, well, they uh- they didn’t exactly have to play nice anymore,” Tango laughs. “That’s where I got these fabulous accessories.” He waves a hand, cuff jangling around his wrist.

Jimmy feels sick. They put the cuffs on Tango to lock him in a farm. To think he’s still had those on him, all this time-

“After that,” Tango continues briskly, “it still took, like, another year of testing for them to develop the most optimized farm.” He delivers the information almost disinterestedly, studying his claws. “It was a pretty smart design, nice and compact.”

Jimmy glances around the clearing. Amidst the shocked, horrified faces, he finds Impulse- who seems to be focused on taking slow, deep breaths, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

(Uh oh, no Impulse to the rescue…)

“Wither roses dealt constant damage,” Tango rattles off, “triggering my blaze rods to respawn as quickly as they could be skadoodled away by hoppers, and they had regen on an automatic clock to keep me alive- though there was a backup respawn anchor for any accidents.”

Wither roses. Of course. Jimmy can picture it, in his mind’s eye; Tango chained up among the ashen flowers. What must it have felt like, to be withering all the time? His health constantly wavering between the icy blackness and the regeneration, every minute of every day. How absolutely miserable.

Jimmy somehow finds his voice again. “How… how long did you spend like that?” he asks hoarsely, stepping next to Tango.

Tango won’t look at him- though he’s carefully watching out of the corner of his eye. “Oh, I dunno… four or five months, maybe?” 

Months. Jimmy’s heart aches. He can’t even begin to imagine what that existence was like. To spend all day trapped in a farm that’s constantly hurting him- and by wither effect, no less. Not to mention how dehumanizing the entire concept is on its own.

“How’d you get out?” Jimmy asks tentatively. “If- if you don’t mind.”

Tango snorts. “Yeah, so, one day, the charge on my anchor ran out when no one was around, so I was able to kill myself to get back to world spawn. And that’s when the portal to Hermitcraft appeared.”

Etho steps forward. “I thought Hels didn’t allow portals?” he asks, his voice as cool and unreadable as his partially-concealed expression.

Jimmy’s taken aback, his feathers puffing up unwittingly. He doesn’t understand how Etho can grill Tango about technical details in such an upsetting situation. In fact, he’d almost think that Etho doesn’t care at all- except the question makes Tango pause. In his expression, Jimmy can see his mind working, and realizes what Etho has done.

By circling back to a scientific topic, he’s provided Tango a distraction. Something less personal for his mind to focus on, and take everyone else’s focus off of him. Already, Jimmy can see that Tango’s less tense as he starts to explain.

“We didn’t have portals in Hels, but we knew the concept from data-mining.” Tango spreads his hands. “Locked comm commands, hidden recipes. But portals to Hermitcraft are made by the universe, right? So- so whatever is preventing Hels players from making portals, it- the universe can circumvent it. ‘Course, at the time, I didn’t know how it appeared or where it was gonna take me, but I went through. And apparently, somehow, a portal appeared in front of Bravo that took him to Hels at the same time. The universe must’ve tried to send Bravo to Hermitcraft, glitched ‘cause of Hels’s wonky portal technology, and swapped us by mistake.”

Etho hums noncommittally. “So it was an accident.”

(Oh, sure.)

(That’s what they think…)

(Yeah, he ‘accidentally’ didn’t tell anyone the truth for ten years.)

Jimmy angrily pushes the thoughts away. So long as Tango didn’t intend to strand Bravo in Hels, that’s all that matters to him.

Tango gives Etho a funny look. “I mean, that’s not the point? Bravo’s been trapped in Hels ever since, ‘cause of me. This whole invasion thing was my fault, they were tryin’ to get me back for the farm and help Bravo escape Hels, and... I dunno, get back to his life? Or, the life I stole from him ten years ago.” He shrugs. “So yeah. Secret’s out, sorry I’ve been lying to some of you for a decade, now, and- and sorry you all got dragged into my mess. I didn’t mean t- well, anyway, that’s- that’s what happened.”

“God, Tango,” Jimmy breathes, reaching a hand out, “I- I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Tango asks incredulously, jerking away from Jimmy. “Wh- for what? That’s just what Hels is like, okay, if it wasn’t the farm it’d have been some other terrible thing, so y’know, it’s- it’s whatever.” He lets out another harsh laugh, raking his claws through his hair. “If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry, I mean, I- I’ve been lyin’ for ten years and-”

“They put you in a farm?!”

Everyone jumps. Impulse’s voice is suddenly several octaves lower, quite a bit louder, and warped with distortion into something truly demonic. His pupils have eaten up the rest of his eyes, turning them solid black. The teeth bared in a scowl look bigger and sharper than they used to, and the hands at his sides have sprouted claws. His horns and tail have grown longer, too, and Jimmy can see what looks like dark, leathery wings sprouting up behind him. His entire body is outlined by a bright golden glow, like his skin has abruptly become as hot as lava, and the absolute fury in his expression burns even fiercer.

Ah. This must be ‘full demon’ mode.

Bdubs quickly jumps in front of Impulse, grabbing him by the shoulders to ground him. Jimmy instinctively steps in front of Tango, wings snapping out to shield him from view.

But the damage is already done. Jimmy hears footsteps, and by the time he looks over his shoulder, Tango is gone.

“Tango, wait!” Jimmy turns to follow him, but a hand suddenly grabs his arm.

Martyn is there. “Don’t chase him,” he says lowly, “he’ll only panic more.”

Jimmy wants to argue, but the severity in Martyn’s solitary eye sobers him. “Alright,” he relents, folding his wings. “I… guess I’ll give him a few minutes to calm down…”

“Right, then.” Martyn gives a short nod, putting his hands on his hips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“Tell me about it,” Jimmy mutters, gazing back over the clearing.

Impulse is starting to settle back down, Bdubs in front speaking to him in low tones while Etho and Joel each hang onto an arm. It looks like his extra demon-y features are reverting back to his usual state, though he still looks furious.

Grian is sitting against a tree, wings splayed out around him. He’s massaging his temples like he’s warding off a headache, his eyes squeezed shut, groaning, “How did I not see this coming?” while Scar, crouched beside him, rubs his back soothingly.

Ren is pacing back and forth across the clearing. “I should’a killed more of those guys,” he growls, tail lashing, ears pinned flat against his skull.

“Hey, you did all you could,” Bigb says comfortingly. “I was the one that got us killed. If I’d kept my shield up, he wouldn’t have gotten that shot on me.”

“I wish we’d realized that Atlas guy was in charge,” Martyn laments, crossing over to them. “If we’d stopped him from leaving, we could’a gotten a lot more information.”

“I wish we’d known Tango was dealing with all this,” Cleo says bitterly, her crossed arms resting on her knees, Scott leaned against their side. “I mean, honestly… ten years and we never knew? That’s- that’s- that’s rubbish. We’re rubbish friends.”

“Hey, hey now,” Jimmy says, lifting his voice to address the group, “this wasn’t anyone’s fault, okay? You guys have been great friends to Tango- otherwise, he wouldn’t have stuck around for so long, right? It’s- it’s just his way, to try and deal with things on his own without askin’ for help. You know that.”

Cleo exhales slowly. “Yeah, I know. Still sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jimmy glances over at Impulse, who seems to have recovered himself back to normal, sitting cross-legged next to Bdubs. “You alright, Impulse?”

Impulse gives a slight nod, expression guilty. “I’m sorry. I- I almost never lose control like that, I just got so angry… not at Tango!” he quickly clarifies. “Never at him. I- I just… thinking about what they did to him, everything he went through…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Bdubs murmurs, squeezing Impulse’s hand. “That’s- it’s freaking crazy, right? With th- hyaugh, evil Hels world, puttin’ people in uh, in farms… sheesh.”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” Jimmy assures him. “I know you didn’t mean anythin’ by it. I’m sure Tango does, too, he was just so on-guard the whole time… he just got spooked, that’s all.”

“Jimmy,” Pearl says urgently, fluttering over to him while tailed by her small pack of wolves, “d’you know- uh, is- is everythin’ Tango said true?” she asks, concerned.

Jimmy swallows. “It’s true. I mean, I- I didn’t know about the farm specifically, but based on what I overheard Atlas say- it makes sense.” He rubs the back of his neck. “And gosh, I didn’t know how awful Hels was, but the way Bravo talked about it…”

“But, um…” Bdubs pipes up hesitantly. “Just- just ‘cause Tango is Bravo’s… uh, Hels… doppelgänger, whatever… doesn’t mean he’s evil, right?”

“I know!” Jimmy cries, throwing his hands up. “That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell him! He doesn’t believe it. He thinks he’s a monster for what he did, killin’ those guys and burnin’ down the ranch.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Martyn scoffs. He’s coaxed a still-seething Ren to lay down now, absentmindedly stroking Ren’s ears as his head rests in Martyn’s lap while Bigb starts to braid his hair. “It was self-defense, yeah? A bunch of strangers invaded your home, and he defended it. There’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Jimmy has a feeling it’s more to do with how Tango killed them and how the fire got started, plus the fact that Jimmy got hurt in the process. But Tango didn’t share those particular details, so Jimmy’s not about to now. Besides, in his opinion, that doesn’t change anything.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says ruefully. “But he still blames himself for what happened. For all of it.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” Cleo deadpans. Then she pauses. “Or- sorry, his feelings aren’t stupid, but I- I hope he knows that none of us feel that way.”

There are exclamations of agreement and similar sentiments from the rest of the group, which helps ease some of the tightness in Jimmy’s chest. He knows his friends, and knows they’re all good people who wouldn’t judge Tango like that, but it’s been hard not to let Bravo’s words get to him.

“I’ll tell him,” Jimmy promises them. “I’ll try to make him understand, he just- I think he’s always been afraid this day would come, that he’s just been tickin’ down borrowed time.”

“What d’you mean?” Grian asks, rising to his feet. “It’s not like he knew they were coming, right?”

Jimmy shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. It’s more like… he’s always had that possibility hanging over him.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Impulse says quietly. “The first time he saw a communicator portal open, you would’ve thought he was being sent to his death. It… makes sense, looking back now.” He puts his head in his hands, sighing. “Man, there were so many signs…”

Grian walks over, pulling his communicator out. “So hang on, the world itself is called Hels, yeah?”

“Yeah, why?” Jimmy asks.

Grian doesn’t respond, silently scanning his comm with his brows knit in concentration. And then something very strange happens. For a moment, it almost seems as if Grian’s eyes flash purple, and Jimmy hears his voice in his head.

(There it is. Hm, firewalled. Gonna be tricky.)

Then Grian pushes his glasses back up, and it passes.

“Right,” he says briskly, putting his comm away. “I can’t find the world, so the portal thing checks out. But since Tango’s cut this meeting a bit short, do you have any other information? Anything the Hels guys might’ve said or done that we should know about?”

Jimmy blinks. Grian’s just looking at him expectantly, giving no indication that there’s anything out of sorts. Jeeze, he’s used to having random thoughts, but the stress of everything must really be getting to him if he’s imagining his friend’s voices, now.

“Um, actually,” Jimmy says, “the collar they put on Tango… he said it’s using some sort of… modified wither rose to dampen his fire? It’s uh, also dampening our soulbond.” He clears his throat, glancing away. “As a- as a fun little side effect.”

“Have you tried removing it yet?” Etho asks, stepping around Impulse with his hands in his pockets.

“I did, earlier,” Impulse chimes in from the ground. “Just with my hands, but uh, he acted like it was hurting him.”

Jimmy nods. “Yeah, Atlas locked it on him with a key, and I’m pretty sure he still had it when he left. So I think that might be the way to get it off.”

“Well,” Joel cuts in, straightening up from where he’d been leaning over Impulse’s shoulder, “surely not the only way, right? I mean, you could always…” He makes a noncommittal noise, and draws a finger across his neck.

Jimmy bristles, wings flaring out. “What, decapitate my soulmate?!”

Joel holds up his hands. “Hey, hey, we don’t know if that thing’ll respawn on him!”

“His cuffs do!” Jimmy points out.

“Yeah, but isn’t it worth a shot?” Joel counters.

“I… I guess,” Jimmy relents, letting his feathers smooth back down. “But I’d rather look into a few other options before jumpin’ straight to decapitation, if you don’t mind. Tango’s been through enough as it is.”

Joel backs off. “Alright, fair enough.” 

“Okay…” Grian turns to address the rest of the group. “Well, um… this has been an interesting revelation, to say the least. I think we’re gonna have to do a bit more research to figure out how they got here before we just… open the world back up. So that means we’ll all be stuck here a bit longer, is that- is that okay with everyone?”

“Yes, yes of course,” Bdubs says vehemently.

“Yeah,” Impulse agrees, “whatever it takes.”

Further murmurs of assent ring out from among the group. Everywhere Jimmy looks, he sees faces full of sympathy and understanding, not a single trace of resentment or annoyance to be found. God, he loves his friends.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate it,” he says gratefully. “I’m gonna go check on Tango, but we’ll keep you updated if anythin’ changes.”

“Right, okay then.” Grian claps his hands together. “Uh- I guess that’s all for now?”

Nodding, Jimmy turns and takes to the sky, leaving spawn behind him.

His mind is still reeling from all the heavy revelations, his stomach twisted up into knots, but he’s at least comforted by knowing that his friends are behind them. Seems that the fears Bravo tried to instill were completely unfounded, nothing more than vicious, desperate attempts to sow division between Tango and the others. Jimmy really shouldn’t have doubted them.

(That went… surprisingly well.)

(Give it time.)

‘Oh, shove off,’ Jimmy thinks.

~*~

He finds Tango back at the spare room in Impulse and Bdubs’s house.

Thank goodness for that. He hadn’t exactly been sure if Tango would consider this a safe place to go. But with the ranch destroyed and the world on lockdown, it’s not like he has a lot of options.

Tango’s sitting on the bed with his back to Jimmy. At a glance, he seems relaxed, but his legs are curled under him in a way that’d allow him to spring up in an instant. And the way his pointed ears swivel back toward Jimmy tells him Tango is quite alert.

(So deceiving…)

“Hey, Tango,” Jimmy says softly. “You alright?”

“Oh, hey.” Tango doesn’t turn around just yet, shrugging a shoulder. “Sure, yeah.”

Jimmy lingers by the bed for a moment, uncertain. “Um, Impulse didn’t mean to lose his temper like that,” he offers. “He wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at the situation, that’s all.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just, in the moment- I- I- thought…” Tango sighs. “Anyway. So- so I guess I should head out, huh?”

Jimmy’s stomach drops. “What? What’re you sayin’?”

“It’s over, right?” Tango asks, his voice tight, shoulders hunched by his ears. “They don’t want me around, and I don’t blame ‘em. I mean, once Grian opens the world again, it’s only a matter of time before another portal from Hels opens up. And- and who’d want to go through all that again, right? So don’t worry, I get it, it was my fault, so-”

“No, Tango, I promise- none of them blame you, alright?” Jimmy sits down on the bed- not too close. “None of them believe what Bravo was sayin’ about you. None of them think you’re some… some evil monster that deserves to be locked up in Hels.”

Tango finally turns around. His body is coiled with all the tension of a drawn arrow. “That’s ‘cause they didn’t see me- what I did- back at the ranch,” he says sharply. “They don’t know the whole story.”

Jimmy rubs the back of his neck, exhaling slowly. He knew Tango would hold that against himself. “Well, I do, and I-”

“No, you don’t.”

Jimmy blinks. “Wh- oh, you mean the Helsknight thing?” he asks, furrowing his brows. “Look, honestly, based on what you told Bravo, I don’t blame you for doing that. You were just scared you’d get sent back, that doesn’t make you evil. I know you-”

“No, you don’t,” Tango says again, more intently. “You don’t know everything about me, Jimmy.”

Jimmy’s stomach drops. “Wha’d’you mean?”

Tango smiles without humor, a hard look in his eye. “You wanna know why I like making those- those crazy mob farms? Why I try to kill them in creative, fun ways?” He tilts his head. “Because I like it. I like to make their deaths entertaining. I’ll even sacrifice efficiency for it, I’ll go out of my way to do it. And I- it doesn’t stop there, I’ll kill passive mobs for no reason. Cats, frogs, things that don’t even have drops, for absolutely no reason. That’s not normal.”

Despite himself, Jimmy feels a chill run down his spine. “That’s not… those are just mobs, it’s- it’s not evil…”

(Are you sure about that?)

Tango exhales sharply- a short, bitter laugh. “Okay. You know why practically all my mini games end in death? Huh? You wanna guess?”

Distress shoots through Jimmy. “Tango-”

“I like to watch players die, too,” Tango says. “And I like it to be entertaining. I enjoy it, that’s- that’s just plain sadistic.” He rakes his claws through his hair. “That’s what I am, I’m a- a sadistic monster, okay, I always have been.”

“Stop it, don’t say that!” Jimmy protests, his heart twisting. “You’re not- people actually sign up for those games, you know. And it’s not like death is permanent, it doesn’t matter-”

“So?” Tango interrupts harshly. He jumps off the bed and starts pacing. “What- does that make any difference? Doesn’t matter if people enjoy them, okay, my- my reason for making them is wrong. Designing games is fun, sure, but I- that’s never what it’s been about. I like to make players struggle, and suffer, and die in the end. I like to watch them experience pain and fear in a trap of my own creation. I like the feeling of control it gives me. No matter how you look at it, that’s- I- I’m messed up.”

Jimmy can’t take this anymore. He rises to his feet. “Tango, stop, that’s enough,” he says, his voice stern. “I know I haven’t known you very long, but-”

“Yeah,” Tango snaps, rounding on Jimmy, “you haven’t! That’s the whole problem! I’ve kept a huge chunk of my life secret from you, my own soulmate. I’ve kept it from the Hermits, too- my friends of nearly a decade. I’ve deceived and lied to everyone I ever cared about. I’ve pretended to be this- this benevolent game maker who just wants everyone to have a good time, I’ve kept so much of who I really am hidden ‘cause I knew that if you guys ever saw the real me, you’d hate me.”

Jimmy’s mind is reeling. Tango’s clever eye for game design is something Jimmy’s always loved about him, the way he could create fun challenges even amidst the throes of a death game. After all, the first time they really interacted was when Jimmy died to his ‘Dare to Flare’ challenge back on the Third Life world. And that had been a laughably simple game compared to some of the things he’s done on Hermitcraft.

Even though it ended up costing Jimmy a life, the rush of adrenaline had been thrilling. And even though in hindsight, he knew it was a deliberate ploy by Tango to thin out his competitor’s lives, Jimmy’s never resented him for it.

So to suddenly realize there might’ve been more to it… that Tango might’ve actually enjoyed watching him burn to death- beyond the simple satisfaction of having outsmarted his competition, of course- is… unsettling, to say the least.

(What a start to a relationship!)

(The red flags have been there from day one.)

(A sadist and a liar, lucky you.)

But nevertheless, Jimmy holds his ground. “I don’t hate you.”

Tango tenses. “You should.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Jimmy insists. “I love you, Tango.”

“No, you don’t!” Tango snarls, and the hurt in his voice is raw and ragged and bleeding. His eyes are burning with rage, and Jimmy’s almost certain that if it weren’t for the collar, he’d be on fire right now. “Alright? Just shut up! You love this- this version of me that I’ve presented, okay, this lie I’ve been living. You love Tango the friendly redstoner, who makes ridiculous high-pitched noises when he’s flustered and who’s funny when he’s mad and who can’t fight his way out of a one-block hole. You don’t love the sadistic blaze hybrid that sets things on fire and- and rips people’s throats out with his fucking teeth, don’t be stupid!”

The silence that follows is deafening.

(And there it is!)

(Finally showing his true colors.)

(He did try to tell you…)

For a moment, Jimmy is too stunned to speak. Tango’s never yelled at him before, not seriously, and the sting of his words is almost a physical thing.

Tango seems just as shocked at his outburst as Jimmy is, his face paling as his anger quickly extinguishes. The next words out of Tango’s mouth are almost guaranteed to be an apology, but Jimmy isn’t letting him off that easily.

“Now hang on just a second,” Jimmy says lowly. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel about you. I’m a grown player. I’m not some poor, innocent idiot that you’ve manipulated into loving you, alright? And it hurts that you’d think so little of me, that I’d stand here and just lie about my feelings to you.”

(Ooh, someone finally grew a backbone-)

Jimmy silences the thought, violently forcing it out of his mind. He’s got no patience for that sort of thing right now.

“I’m sorry,” Tango whispers, “I didn’t-”

“And what’s more,” Jimmy continues, gaining steam, “do you really think I’m the type of person to judge someone so harshly for things outta their control? You honestly think I’m some- some shallow, heartless jerk who’d turn on you, just like that? Or- for that matter, you think the Hermits would? After ten years of friendship, you have that little faith in them?”

Tango’s eyes widen. “No, no it’s- it’s not like that,” he says quickly. “I didn’t mean-”

“I don’t care that you’re from Hels,” Jimmy presses, taking a step forward. “I don’t care what you did in the past, or that you kept it from me. I don’t care if some random guy thinks you’re just the manifestation of all his evil- frankly, I think that says more about him than it does about you.” He comes to a stop in front of Tango. “I love you. The teeth, the claws, the death fascination or- or whatever you wanna call it- I love all of it. All of you. And I wish more than anythin’ they hadn’t got that damn collar on you, so you could feel that love through our soulbond. But you’ve felt it before, right? Before I knew? Well um, it hasn’t changed, I promise you that.”

Tango stares back up at him. Now that the anger’s gone, he just looks scared. “You don’t-” His voice breaks. “You can’t.”

“Yes, I do,” Jimmy answers, unwavering. As difficult as this conversation has been, this part’s easy. “I promise, cross my heart.”

Tango shudders, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “Please,” he whispers, “don’t… I can’t- if I let myself think that but you don’t mean it, I- I can’t handle that. Please. Just tell me now, okay, get it over with…”

Understanding settles over Jimmy. Creasing his brows, he takes a slow, deliberate step forward. “I mean it,” he says, lifting a hand to cup Tango’s cheek.

Tango trembles, but he doesn’t move away. He swallows, licks his lips. “Say it again?” he asks, almost a plea, his eyes darting to take in every inch of Jimmy’s face- like he’s unsure whether he can truly believe what he’s seeing, almost searching for any hint, any trace of doubt in Jimmy’s expression.

There isn’t any. Jimmy leans in. “I love you.”

Something glimmers in Tango’s eyes; a warm light Jimmy hasn’t seen since before the ranch burned. 

Something like hope.

Love rises inside Jimmy like a wave- love and the sorrow of shared grief, the fierce determination to withstand it, and the agony of all the past suffering he can’t take away. It’s overwhelming and exhilarating, this sudden rush of emotion. A whirling maelstrom that makes his head spin. But his love burns brightly through it all, a sole lantern against the storm.

Maybe he can’t make Tango believe he’s worthy of love. But he can give it anyway.

Jimmy moves slowly, tilting his face down towards Tango’s. He keeps his eyes open until the very last second, giving Tango plenty of time to move away or say something to stop him, to give any sign at all that he isn’t feeling the same.

There isn’t any. Their lips meet gently, like a familiar greeting. Like the way sunlight falls through the window every morning.

And just like that, the dam breaks. Suddenly Tango’s kissing him back, fervently, pushing against him. Jimmy’s legs hit the bed and buckle, sending him backwards, Tango falling on top of him. His hands cling to Jimmy’s shirt, twisting in the fabric, and his tears wet Jimmy’s face, salt on his tongue. Above the pounding of his heart in his ears, he can just make out the words Tango’s murmuring between kisses, breathless and desperate.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you.”

Jimmy pulls him impossibly closer, whispering, “I never doubted.”

They don’t need words after that.

~*~

“Jeeze, they weren’t kidding,” Tango mutters, taking in the ranch with wide eyes.

The ranch looks even worse than Jimmy had been imagining. Nearly the entire first floor is gone, just a wide-open plot and their lonely front door sitting ajar. Aside from the odd block here and there, it’s just empty. A couple trapdoors from the furniture in the living room. The smooth stone slabs that made up their kitchen countertops. An occasional unbroken glass pane floating where there used to be windows.

It’s not a home anymore, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Up the intact cobblestone staircase, the second floor has only fared slightly better. Some of the walls are still standing, charred and moth-eaten as they are. He thinks most of the bathroom’s interior was spared, as it was primarily made of different stone materials. Polished andesite and the like. The chests in their storage room made it, of course, even though the room itself didn’t. And their bedroom seems to have gotten the worst of it. From down here, he thinks it might just be the bed itself that’s left.

The roof is gone, leaving their cobblestone chimney awkwardly sticking up from the ground to nowhere. The path up to the house and the surrounding fields have been torn up to make a ditch. Necessary as it was, it’s quite the eyesore. And to top it all off, one of the custom trees that Scar helped build has been hastily chopped down, due to its proximity to the nearby forest. There’s just a couple of logs and solitary leaves left floating in the air.

It hurts. Everywhere Jimmy looks, there’s another source of heartache. Another precious memory that’s been turned to ash. It’s almost enough to bring tears to his eyes.

But he’s also aware of Tango standing beside him. He knows how much Tango is already beating himself up for the fire, and the last thing he wants to do is add to that guilt.

Jimmy turns to give Tango a rueful grin. “Talk about your fixer-uppers, ey?”

Tango exhales slowly. “Man, it’s so…” He glances at Jimmy, expression pinched. “I’m sorry, you worked so hard-”

“It’s fine,” Jimmy says, shrugging. “It’s just a building.”

Tango hesitates. “It’s… alright to be upset. This was our home, and I- I got all ‘rahhhrr angry-burny rage mode’ on it and-”

“Not your fault,” Jimmy says, voice gentle but firm. He puts a hand on Tango’s shoulder. “If anyone’s to blame, it’s the Hels fellas for attackin’ us in the first place.”

Tango makes a noncommittal noise, scuffing the upturned dirt with his boot. “Sure.”

It’s clear he’s not convinced, but Jimmy leaves it there for now. Their conversation from yesterday is going to take some time to fully sink in. He crosses over to a haphazardly-placed double chest near the front of the ranch and crouches beside it, lifting the lid with a creak.

“Martyn said everything they were able to save is in this chest here, let’s see…” He rummages through the chest’s inventory. A lot of it is random junk; miscellaneous blocks, half-stacks of wheat, dropped weapons and armor from the fight. But there are a few good finds, like some of the clothes from their closet, a couple of flower pots, one of his framed embroidery pieces...

“Oh, hey, look at this!” Jimmy calls excitedly. “My gloves!”

He pulls the gloves out, looking up from the chest to see Tango standing over him. His eyes widen when he sees them- happily surprised at first, and then the familiar dawning of guilt and regret.

“You uh… maybe I should take those back, for now,” Tango says quietly, his ears lowered. “Or- or maybe just forever, yeah.”

“Ey, stop it, no take-backs,” Jimmy chastises him, slipping the gloves on. “Gloves couldn’t have prevented that fire, anyways. And I like wearin’ ‘em, because that way it’s sorta like I’m holdin’ your hand all the time.”

A grin tugs at Tango’s mouth. “Aw, that’s real cheesy, honey,” he teases, even as a faint blush colors his cheeks.

“Yeah, but I mean it,” Jimmy says loftily. “I’m keepin’ them.”

Tango holds his hands up, chuckling. “Alright, alright…” His gaze travels back towards the ranch, up towards the storage room with its rows of chests. “Guess we should still have plenty of materials to rebuild, huh?”

“Should do, yeah,” Jimmy says, straightening up. Having the gloves back is an immediate comfort, despite the fact he’d only gone two days without them. He foldings his arms, gaze sweeping critically over the remains of the ranch. “I guess for now, we’ll just focus on the structure? Y’know, get the place liveable again and worry ‘bout the decor and landscapin’ later…”

“Oh, that’s what you think!”

The loud voice makes them both jump. Jimmy whirls around to see Bdubs- of course, because there’s absolutely no mistaking that voice.

“Bdubs!” Jimmy laughs, clutching his heart. “What- what’re you doin’ here?”

Bdubs puts his hands on his hips. “I- I can’t believe what I’m- ‘no interior decor’, yeah right! You’re not gonna get outta that very- so easy! I tell you!”

Tango snickers. Luckily Bdubs’s sudden appearance hasn’t seemed to cause more than a brief startle. “Oh, yeah? You gonna help out, then, shorty?” 

“Hey!” Bdubs barks incredulously- though it’s clear from his expression he’s not really upset. “I’m tryin’ t- augh, n’you- you stu- yes. Yes, yes, I’m here to help, of course. For goodness sakes. I- how kind, are I! Sweet, kind Bdubs…”

“And handsome, too,” Jimmy adds cheekily.

That makes Bdubs beam, puffing his chest out. “Yeahhh, c’mon baby!”

“Don’t encourage him,” Tango groans.

“Oh, stop it!” Bdubs huffs. “Anyway, Impulse would’ve come, of course, but he and Etho- the redstone guys, you know, uh, they’re havin’ a- a- little chat, little brainy-thing… brainstormin’ ‘bout the portal stuff with Grian. But never thy fear! I saw you guys head out and, in my eternal wiseness, have already called in the forcements!”

Jimmy exchanges an amused look with Tango. “Well, any help is appreciated,” he amends.

“Sure about that, Timmy?” calls Joel’s voice, as the man himself appears over the hill.

And he’s not alone. Cleo’s taller figure looms over him, Scott and Pearl walking on either side of her as a small pack of wolves weave between their legs. The trio is followed by Martyn, Bigb, and Ren- the latter seeming to have recovered his friendly disposition and wagging tail. Finally, Scar emerges from behind a tree to round out the group, calling out a cheerful, “Hello there!”

Joel comes to a stop next to Bdubs and claps him on the shoulder. “We figured you two could use the help, what with you not bein’ builders and all.” Cheeky man.

Jimmy snorts. “Gee, thanks,” he says sarcastically. But slights at their building skills aside, he’s actually quite touched.

Tango blinks. “You guys… all came to help out?” he asks, sounding amazed. 

“Of course!” Bdubs declares. “We ha- we help!”

Cleo shrugs, giving a hapless grin. “You know, I- I- I really don’t know… why Bdubs invited me? I’m not that great a builder. But I can supervise, I guess? And- and heckle. Always heckle.”

“And reach tha’ tall bits,” Scott offers, lightly elbowing her hip.

“And reach the tall bits,” Cleo laughs. “Right. Yes.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Martyn chimes in, slinging an arm around Bigb’s shoulders, “since that portal stuff is way over my head.”

Bdubs pulls a face. “Uh…” He speaks to Jimmy and Tango behind his hand, despite making no effort to lower his voice at all- for comedic effect. “Normally, I would’ve offered my perfect redstone prowess to uh, to help the other guys out with their little portal thing, you know, but eugh- I knew someone would have ta’ keep all these jokers in line.”

“Ah, of course,” Tango replies sagely.

“Well?” Bdubs turns expectantly to the others, throwing his arms up. “Get movin’ then! Sheesh! Stand around, waitin’ for- for no raisin…”

“Yes, my liege,” Cleo drawls, rolling their eyes.

Ren claps his big paws together. “Yeah, we’re burnin’ daylight, my dudes!”

Pearl’s fuzzy wings unfurl from beneath her red cloak. “Let’s see what we’re workin’ with!” she says excitedly, fluttering up to the storage room.

Just like that, the other Double Lifers descend on the husk of the ranch. Placing down temporary chests and crafting benches, sorting through the remaining resources, filling in the ditch with dirt. Multiple conversations start up immediately as everyone sets to a task, and the atmosphere is comfortable- even if a bit strange.

Jimmy can’t recall a time when this many of them have worked on a project together. Not on Third Life, not on Last Life, not here. Something like this just wouldn’t be possible during a death game. Large gatherings between different groups are always fraught with tension and uncertainty, by the fear of a trap or a backstab or a fight breaking out.

But it’s nice. Pearl is hovering above the second floor, working with Cleo to build the walls back up while Scott prepares some stairs and slabs for detailing. Scar and Bdubs are already bickering about how to do the landscaping while Joel grumbles at them, waist-deep in the ditch with Bigb and Martyn placing dirt. Ren’s started tearing down the damaged trees, clearing room for replanting, and Pearl’s wolves mill about, filling the air with curious sniffs and yips.

Tango’s watching the scene unfold with wide eyes, and it suddenly occurs to Jimmy that this is the most people Tango’s been around since the difficult conversation at spawn. Impulse was checking on them throughout the rest of the day, of course, and a few of the other players stopped by now and again, but not in big groups or anything.

Jimmy steps closer to Tango. “Is this okay?” he asks softly.

Tango looks at him in surprise. A smile spreads across his face, and he takes Jimmy’s hand. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah, it is.”

Jimmy smiles back. “Then let’s get in there.”

~*~

Jimmy lets out a low whistle. “Dang, this looks even better than before!” he says, craning his head to look around the room.

After a full day of building and the gradual dispersal of the other Double Lifers, Jimmy and Tango are now seeing their new bedroom for the first time. They were around for the bulk of the structure building, but once it came time for the interior, Bdubs and Scar had insisted it be a surprise. Everything about it is perfect, from the custom furniture to the quilted wool rug to the fancy frame Scar built around their double-wide bed.

Tango clears his throat. “Maybe, uh- maybe we can just…” He kicks one of the beds with the toe of his boot. “... scooch this over a little…”

“Nope,” Jimmy declares, sweeping Tango off the floor and onto the bed. “Nice try, mate, but you’re stayin’ right here next to me.”

“Okay, okay, fine! I ju- don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Tango huffs, but he’s grinning as he says it.

~*~

“Alright, fellas,” Grian says, clapping his hands together, “here’s what we’ve got so far…”

Jimmy leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Tango is a little tense beside him- probably just nerves. But it could be worse. They’re gathered in the living room of Impulse and Bdubs’s house; Grian perched on the arm of the sectional across from Jimmy and Tango, Impulse and Etho sitting adjacent to them. The familiar setting and fairly limited company seems to have helped put Tango more at ease for what might end up being a tricky conversation.

“We’re... pretty sure we know how the Hels peeps got here,” Grian continues, “but there are a few things we need to clarify, first.” He glances at Etho, inclining his head. “Etho, you wanna explain?”

“Oh yeah, yeah.” Etho stands up. “Tango, may I see your comm, please? I uh, just need to look at it for a minute.”

Tango blinks. Anxiety flashes across his face for just a brief second before disappearing. “Oh. Uh, sure?” He pulls the item from his inventory, holding it out.

Etho takes the communicator. “So,” he begins, sitting back down, “you said that in Hels, players can’t make portals with their communicators, right?”

Tango gives a short nod. “That’s right. That comm isn’t the one I spawned with, they took that from me at Hels Tek. X made me a new one, after I got to Hermitcraft.” He gives a dry laugh. “I told him- I told him I lost it. Which, I mean, that’s- it’s technically not a lie, just... not the whole truth.”

Jimmy gives him a sympathetic look. He might no longer be worried that the others will reject him, but this still can’t be easy to talk about.

Etho studies the communicator, his mismatched eyes narrowed in concentration. “So after you got a new comm, you were able to use it to make portals?”

“Yeah,” Tango says, “it uh, it’s taken me to each Hermitcraft world and everything in between, no problem. Hubs, solo worlds, creative- you name it.”

Etho hums. “Can you use your comm to travel to Hels?”

“No.” Tango glances away. “I’ve looked for it, a few times. Never shows up.”

That brings a couple more questions to mind, but Jimmy files them away for later.

“Interesting.” Etho seems to be delving deep into the communicator’s hardware, typing rapidly. “So uh, the portal issue isn’t centered on players that spawn in Hels, just their communicators. And since overworld communicators can’t find Hels, there must be something about the world itself preventing it.”

Tango knits his brows together. “I suppose…?”

It’s at this point that Grian leans forward. “Have either of you heard about firewalls?” he asks.

Tango shakes his head, but Jimmy’s heart jolts. He has heard that word before; just the other day, when he thought he heard Grian’s voice in his head. But that’s not exactly something Jimmy wants to bring up right now. Or ever, maybe. His weird, random, intrusive thoughts don’t need to be anyone else’s problem.

“Um…” Jimmy pretends to think about it for a moment. “I think I’ve heard the term somewhere before, but I- I dunno what that actually means.”

“Right.” Grian spreads his hands. “So firewalls are a sort of added security measure that admins can use when making a new world. It’s like, an impenetrable barrier ‘round the world that makes it basically impossible for anyone unauthorized to join via portal.”

“Wait, really?” Tango asks, eyes widening. “What- why haven’t I heard about this? Do all worlds have these?”

Grian makes a noncommittal noise. “Well, firewalls are kinda outdated. Developments in server security and comm travel have basically rendered them obsolete. I mean, when’s the last time you heard of a private world being raided, besides ours?” He shrugs. “Plus, it’s a real tedious process to set one up, so they aren’t used often. Mostly for multiplayer worlds that are invite-only, if an admin is particularly concerned about hackers.”

Jimmy holds out a hand. “So wait, hang on, this- what’s this got to do with our situation?”

Impulse catches his eye. “If you try to join a firewalled world without permission, it doesn’t show up on your comm.”

“Oh,” Tango says, realization dawning in his expression. “You think Hels has a firewall?”

“It’s the only thing I can think of,” Grian says, nodding. “However, it’s a bit odd, ‘cause firewalls are usually just one-way… meaning that they keep players out, but they don’t stop players from leaving. So if that’s what’s goin’ on with Hels, it’s a firewall unlike any I’ve ever heard of- where it’s meant to keep players in, too. I’m not exactly sure if that’s why comms made in Hels can’t make portals, or if that’s due to something else entirely, but uh, that’s my best guess.”

Tango runs a hand through his hair. “That’s… I mean, this is the first I’ve heard of firewalls, but that doesn’t sound impossible…”

“So,” Jimmy speaks up hesitantly, “so how did the Hels Tek guys open a portal here?”

“How, indeed?” Etho repeats, finally looking up from Tango’s communicator. “Well, we know the portal was red, not purple. That’s like a comm portal, the way their light syncs up with the world they lead to. But uh, you know, the players coming through had items and armor on them, and they didn’t show up at world spawn. Their spawns didn’t reset, either, they uh- they kept spawning back on the other side. That makes me think this was actually a hacked nether portal, not a comm portal.”

Tango frowns. “Hang on, we- we didn’t have nether portals in Hels, either. I mean, how- there was no point, the nether and the overworld were combined into one realm.”

“Right.” Etho’s got that look in his eye- the glint of an idea about to take off. Jimmy’s seen it in Tango countless times. “You know how nether portals work?”

Tango coughs into his fist. “Oh, right, of course I know all the uh, super technical skadoodle bits, but- but maybe you should go over it.” He jerks his head towards Jimmy and Grian. “You know, for these uh, non-redstone people here.”

“Please do,” Jimmy chuckles.

Etho’s eyes crinkle upwards, like he’s smiling behind his mask. “Basically, they grab the coordinates they’re made on and translate it to nether coords, and vice versa. From what you’ve told me about Hels, being a fusion of the nether and overworld realms, a nether portal couldn’t work ‘cause it’d be like… giving it coords to a place it already is? It’d just crash and never ignite. But if you gave a nether portal frame coordinates to a different place… like, say, a different world…”

Even with Jimmy’s scarce knowledge of portals, it’s easy enough to catch Etho’s meaning.

“That’s crazy,” Tango protests. “How’d they- how could they possibly have gotten coordinates to Double Life?”

“I don’t think they did. I think they got coords to you.” Etho leans forward. “Think about it. The portal didn’t open at spawn, it opened down the hill from the ranch- where you were. I think that was intentional, considering you’re the whole reason they came.”

Jimmy’s mind is spinning. “But... how? And how’d you figure all this out?”

Etho shrugs a shoulder. “Uh, educated guess? Like, just kinda based on the things Bravo said, and what Tango’s told us about Hels and the players it spawns. But um, looking at his comm just now basically confirms it for me.”

“Wait, really?” Tango asks, surprised. “How?”

Etho tilts his head. “Communicators are pretty special items. They’re unique to the player they spawn with- even a replacement communicator like this one. It might not have the hard locks on it that prevent it from summoning portals, but it’s still unique to you. And based on its data, I can tell your player data is a little different. I think it has to do with you being from Hels.”

Tango hesitates. “Okay, and…?”

“If you and Bravo are really counterparts,” Etho says, “then I’d expect your data to be similar. Like, the same word in different languages, in a metaphorical sense. So if Bravo’s data was fed into a nether portal, it’d translate it to your data, and open a portal at your coords. Plus or minus a few blocks, probably.”

Jimmy knits his brows together. “So… you’re sayin’ they used Bravo to open a portal to Tango?” he surmises.

Etho nods. “I’d need Bravo’s comm or a look at his player data to confirm, but that’s my best guess, yeah.” He holds the communicator back out to Tango.

Tango stashes the communicator in his inventory. “So wait, what about- how does the firewall thing factor in, here?” he asks. “If it stops comm portals, wouldn’t it stop a nether portal, too?”

“Yes and no,” Grian answers. “A firewall works by constantly scanning for portals. If it finds one trying to form, it’ll crash it. If a nether portal was used to travel between different worlds, rather than two realms on the same world, a firewall would recognize it all the same.”

“But,” Etho continues, “if they somehow figured out how to stabilize the portal… like, by sending a constant stream of updates… it’d constantly reset the scanner of the firewall. Sort of like an update suppressor. That way, the uh, the firewall can never actually register the portal as a problem and shut it down. So that’d be one way they could keep a hacked nether portal open, even in the face of a firewall.”

Tango exhales slowly. “Okay…” he says, “and how do we stop them from doing that ever again?”

Impulse winces. “That, we’re not sure about. I mean, if Bravo wasn’t there for them to grab a signal from, I guess that’d stop them. However they built a portal, it probably needs his data to function.”

“Oh, well, great.” Tango throws his hands up. “No way he won’t help them again, he hates my guts. Only reason they haven’t come back yet is ‘cause Grian locked the world down, I- I guarantee it. But we can’t just all stay locked in here forever, you’ve all got lives and other worlds to get back to.”

Jimmy frowns, putting a hand on Tango’s shoulder. “Tango, anyone who’s got a problem with you has a problem with all of us.”

“For sure,” Grian agrees.

“Besides,” Impulse says, shrugging, “not to toot our own horns or anything, but I think we handled ourselves just fine against them.”

“You mean Pearl’s wolves handled them,” Tango says flatly. “And you guys had the element of surprise. I guarantee the only reason they went down so easy is ’cause they weren’t expecting much resistance. They show up again, now knowing what they’re up against, and that’s- that’s gonna turn out a whole lot differently.” He crossed his arms. “I need to leave, before Grian opens the world back up.”

“And what, just wait for them to come after you?” Jimmy demands, his wings puffing up. “Absolutely not.”

Tango makes an unhappy noise in the back of his throat. “It’s- you understand it’s only a matter of time, right?” he stresses. “Maybe it won’t be right after Grian lifts the lockdown, okay, maybe it’ll be days, or weeks, or months. Either way, it’ll happen eventually, and when it does… whether it’s- if that happens here, or back on Hermitcraft, or the next Life world... the result will be the same. People I care about will get caught in the crossfire, I- I’m not lettin’ that happen again.”

Jimmy pauses, wings drooping. The distress in Tango’s voice is sobering. There’s no question that Tango cares fiercely about his friends, and the guilt for putting them in harm’s way must be staggering. But still, he insists, “We don’t mind stayin’ put-”

“For how long, though?” Tango asks pointedly. “I can’t ask you guys to stay here forever. Like, I- I can’t stress enough how obsessive Atlas is. He came for me after ten years, okay, he’s not gonna just give up or lose interest. There will always be the risk of them opening another portal to me, so long as Bravo is in Hels.”

“So what if Bravo wasn’t in Hels?” Impulse cuts in.

Tango gives him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

Impulse’s eyes are alight with excitement as he gains steam with his idea. “What if we went to Hels and got him out? That way, he’s not mad at you for being stuck there anymore, right, and Hels Tek can’t use him to make another portal.”

“What, you mean we open a portal to Hels?” Tango asks, raising his eyebrows. “I- I thought we already established that our comms can’t take us there, what- how are we supposed to get there?”

“The same way they got here,” Etho says. “We use your data to open a hacked nether portal to Bravo. Ahah.”

As intimidating as the prospect of encountering Hels Tek again is, Jimmy has to admit it’s probably the only solution. They can’t just ignore the problem and hope it goes away, not if it means Tango could get randomly attacked at any moment. And with all of the Double Lifers together, they stand a much better chance of succeeding.

“That’s a great idea!” Jimmy exclaims. “We grab him, shake Atlas down for the key to the collar while we’re at it, and get out. Problem solved.”

Tango doesn’t seem nearly as enthused. “No way. Absolutely no way. That’s- that’s way too dangerous, if you guys get stranded there- and Atlas is already looking for more hybrids to make farms with, he was about to take Jimmy for a feather farm!”

A brief silence follows this revelation.

Grian grimaces, ruffling his wings. “Oh, woof.”

“What?” Impulse asks, taken aback. “That’s why he had Jimmy chained up, too?”

Jimmy blinks. “Oh, is that what he meant?”

“What’d you th- you didn’t know?” Tango asks incredulously.

Jimmy holds his hands up. “Hey, hey, I didn’t spend much time thinkin’ about what he said to me!” he says sheepishly. “I was more concerned about you.”

Tango pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh. Oh, great. Well yeah, that’s what he wanted you for, to stick you in a feather farm skadoodler for all eternity.”

Jimmy swallows. No wonder Tango’s been so against the idea of them going against Hels Tek again. Death is no big deal- they’d simply respawn. Few injuries cause lasting damage. But being trapped in a farm like that, with no means to escape…

“Well,” he says, “that still doesn’t change my mind. You’re his number one target, okay, you can’t go without backup.”

“No,” Tango huffs. “Let me do it. I- I know Bravo shouldn’t just be left there forever, but that’s not your guys’ faults! It’s my life, my mistake, you guys shouldn’t be putting yourselves at risk like that-”

“Tango,” Jimmy interrupts, “we’re not gonna make a portal to Hels and just send you through alone-”

“Well, I’m not letting you guys come with me!” Tango shoots back. “Most of you guys are hybrids or monsters, too, and I’m not gonna risk Atlas turning you into farms.”

Grian clicks his tongue. “Ey, we wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy says, “and what’s the alternative? You just take off to some solo world until Hels Tek comes a’knockin’?”

Tango shrugs. “I mean, I’d be fine with that-”

“No,” Jimmy says firmly. “I’m not lettin’ that happen. This is our only option, to put this problem to bed forever, and we stand the best chance if we do it together. We have to take it.” He grabs Tango’s hand. “Please, Tango.”

Tango hesitates, staring at their intertwined hands.

Now more than ever, Jimmy desperately wishes that he had some sense of what Tango’s thinking- even just the slightest insight to his thoughts, the faintest impression of an emotion through their soulbond. Especially since he’s had his confidence in reading Tango so thoroughly shaken over the last week. It’s scary to consider that he might not know Tango nearly half as well as he should, that Tango can so effectively mask his true feelings even from him.

“... fine,” Tango says, after a small eternity. “Fine, okay, we- let’s plan an invasion to Hels, sure.”

Jimmy gasps. “Really?”

“But,” Tango says warningly, “we gotta go about this extremely carefully, alright? No willy-nilly ‘rushing in blindly without a plan’ nonsense. And- and once we’re there, if at any point I tell you guys to flee, you- you best be fleein’, got it? With extra flee. No stupid heroics of noble stupidness.”

It’s a chance. That’s better than nothing. “Yes, alright!” Jimmy cheers. “Thank you!”

(Yay, we’re going to Hels- said no one ever.)

(Do they know what they’re getting into?)

(Oh boy, here we go.)

Etho shrugs. “Whatever you say, Tango, you’re the uh, you’re the Hels expert, here.”

Impulse folds his arms. “That’s a dirty condition you kinda tacked on the end, there,” he mutters, “but I’ll accept it.”

“Alright then.” Tango gives a tired sigh, but the corners of his mouth are curling into a smile. “I- I guess we’re doin’ this. We’ve got some room in the basement at the ranch, we can build it there.”

“Excellent.” Grian grins. “Let’s build a portal to Hels, fellas.”

~*~

Jimmy’s startled awake by a shout.

Heart pounding, he squints into the dark room. As his eyes struggle to adjust in the scarce light, he can just barely make out Tango sitting upright in bed. His rapid, shallow breaths wheeze through clenched teeth, faint sparks emitting from his dim blaze rods as they try to ignite.

“Tango,” Jimmy whispers, sitting up, “you okay?”

Tango’s breathing hitches. Then he turns to collapse against Jimmy’s chest, clinging fiercely to his shirt. His entire body is trembling. “Nightmare,” he manages to get out.

Jimmy’s heart twists. He knew it was only a matter of time, but that doesn’t make it any easier to see. Gently, he wraps his arms around Tango, then his wings for good measure. “I got ya,” he murmurs. “I’m here.”

Tango tucks his face against Jimmy’s shoulder and falls silent. Maybe he’ll want to talk about it in the morning, maybe he won’t. But for now, Jimmy just holds him, and hopes that’s enough.

~*~

Jimmy stares at the redstone circuitry laid out before him. “I understand none of this.”

Though it’s only been a few days since they started work on the portal, they’ve already made a lot of progress. Impulse and Etho have been over basically around the clock, with Bdubs and Joel tagging along more often than not. They’ll watch the redstoners work until they get bored, and inevitably wander upstairs to bug Jimmy. Grian checks in on them every now and then, and the other Double Lifers have popped by for little visits, so it’s been a lot of activity at the ranch. Lots of people coming and going.

It’s strange, but not necessarily in a bad way. Almost like an actual pleasant community feeling. Neighbors helping neighbors and all that.

A dedicated digging session has left them with a bit more space in the basement, allowing them to section off a separate room from Tango’s sugar cane farm. They finished it with a stone floor and simple wooden walls at Bdubs’s insistence (he considered it unacceptable to just leave it all as freshly-dug dirt). An obsidian portal frame (complete with corners at Etho’s insistence) stands empty against the back wall, leaving abundant floor space for the redstone- of which there is plenty.

Redstone dust wires criss-cross through rows of repeaters and hopper lines. It’s all far beyond Jimmy’s capacity to understand, of course, but even Tango seems a bit baffled. He’s claimed many times that his understanding of redstone is surface-level at best, and that his real skill comes in applying the various components and systems in creative ways. But he’s at least been able to help with the construction, the actual placing of redstone components.

“Right,” Tango laughs, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s- lemme see if I’ve got this right…” He points at a long line of redstone dust. “Main circuit to the portal.”

Impulse nods. “Yep.” 

Tango steps gingerly around the redstone, gesturing towards a rather complex looking amalgamation of observers and comparators. “This nonsense over here will turn my skadoodle bits into a fireable signal.”

Etho, leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets, chuckles. “Pretty much.”

“And this,” Tango waves at the hoppers, “will count out the final coords before they hop on the main bus line to the portal.”

Jimmy nods hesitantly. “Okay… okay, cool, so- so is it done, then?”

“Not quite,” Impulse says. “We need a player detector.”

Tango creases his brows together. “What, like a- like a pufferfish? A skulk sensor?”

“No, more like a- a whole separate system,” Etho explains. “It’s more than just registering your presence. We need something that can read your data, pick out your coordinates, and send them to the portal for translation to Bravo.”

Tango exhales slowly. “That… sounds pretty complicated.”

“Oh, it will be,” Impulse says, folding his arms. “I mean, just think about how much data each player contains, right, all the codes that dictate our behavior and biology… we don’t wanna overload this thing, so it’ll require some heavy-duty filtering.”

“Not only that,” Etho continues, “but uh, if that firewall thing turns out to be a problem, we’re gonna have to figure out a way to stabilize the portal, too. That’ll take some tinkering with different power sources til we find the exact right input to override the firewall’s checker.”

Jimmy winces; he’d been hoping for a quicker solution. It’s already been over a week since the invasion, and he knows Tango hates being stalled. The sooner they get this problem taken care of, the sooner they can stop worrying and get back to their normal lives. Jimmy himself doesn’t have anywhere else to be, but the other Double Lifers do. And even if they don’t mind the unexpected stay-cation, it definitely bothers Tango that their lives have been disrupted for his sake. Goodness knows he’s already got enough of a guilt complex.

But Tango simply gives a bemused smile. “Well, let’s get started, then.”

~*~

“Are we really sure we wanna do this?”

Jimmy winces at Tango’s tone. “I know, I know,” he says regretfully, “it wasn’t my favorite idea either. But if it can get that collar off’a you, we gotta try, right?”

Trying to remove the collar manually had resulted in a sharp, shooting pain through Tango’s neck at the slightest movement. Trying to remove it with redstone had proven unsuccessful- clearly, it was designed to be insulated against any outside signals. Trying to pick the lock had resulted in nothing but a lot of frustration. So that left them with their last resort.

They’ve moved outside, round the back of the ranch, to avoid getting blood stains all over their newly refurbished house. A random bed has been placed down to provide them with a quick and easy respawn, their items temporarily stowed in a chest. Impulse holds a Sharpness V sword, tail flicking as he watches them apprehensively.

“I’m only gonna do this if you’re okay with it,” he tells Tango seriously. “We can go back to the drawing board, come up with some other things to try…”

“No, no,” Tango shakes his head, “I don’t- you shouldn’t be wasting time on this, you’re already working pretty much nonstop on the portal.”

The frustration in his voice is evident. Impulse frowns. “I don’t mind…”

“Well, I do!” Tango says, crossing his arms and glancing away.

Jimmy exchanges a look with Impulse before putting a gentle hand on Tango’s shoulder. “I know there’s a chance it won’t work,” he starts quietly, “and we’ll have killed ourselves for nothin’. No one likes gettin’ their head cut off. But it’ll be over quick, we’ll respawn straight back here, and then at least we’ll know we tried everything.”

Tango makes a noncommittal noise. “Hey, I- I’m not afraid of a little decapitation, alright, I just… I feel kinda bad putting you through this, you know?” Guilt creeps into his expression. “It’s not your neck that the stupid thing is stuck on. You shouldn’t have to-”

“We’re in this together,” Jimmy tells him steadily. “So if you’re willin’ to try it, I’m happy to die along with ya.”

Tango manages a faint laugh. “Jeeze, honey, you- you don’t have to make it sound so dramatic. We aren’t on a three-life system anymore.”

Jimmy shrugs. “Well, that’s how I feel! Honestly, if there’s even a chance this’ll get that thing off’a you, I’m down.”

“Alright.” Tango takes a quick, steadying breath. “Okay, I wanna try.” He glances at Impulse. “Uh- commence the chop-ificating, then, I guess.”

Impulse nods; he’s keeping his expression and general demeanor calm, reassuring. “Okay, then. So here’s what I’m gonna do…” He carefully sets the edge of his blade along the rim of Tango’s collar, so that the metal is just barely touching skin, and then pinches the collar between the fingers of his other hand. “I’ll give it one quick, clean slice, and try to pull the collar off your body, okay?”

Tango tilts his chin up. “Okay,” he whispers. He’s nervous, now; every muscle in his body is rigid.

Jimmy reaches for his hand. “I’ll be right there with ya.”

Impulse tightens his grip on the sword. “Tango, gimme a countdown whenever you’re ready.”

“Alright.” Tango exhales shakily, closing his eyes. “Five... four... three... two...”

Jimmy closes his eyes and squeezes Tango’s hand.

“One.”

Pain slices across Jimmy’s neck- an intense, searing burn, like he’s swallowed a bucket of lava. There’s a rush of vertigo, the world spinning off-kilter around him. He’s instantly thrust into darkness, that all-consuming void with which he’s rather familiar.

And then it’s over. He’s back, sitting on the bed with Tango in a piled heap of limbs. 

Jimmy sucks in a breath. Now that everything’s stopped spinning, he can see that the collar is still around Tango’s neck.

“Oh, babe,” he murmurs, sweeping Tango into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

Tango’s laugh is muffled against his shoulder. “Worth a shot, right?”

Impulse, standing a few feet away and holding a bloody sword, looks dismayed. “No good,” he says as he walks over, putting the sword away. “Your body respawned before I could pull the collar off. But uh, that’s… not the only issue.”

That makes Tango look over. “What is it?”

“I caught a look at the inner face of it,” Impulse says, frowning, “the part that’s actually touching your skin? And, um… it looks like there’s a bunch of little… spikes on the inside of the collar?”

“Spikes?” Jimmy repeats, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I don’t know how else to describe them?” Impulse rubs the back of his neck. “Um, they’re black in color, not super big... probably thinner than my pinky finger but not like, needles or anything…”

“Oh.” Tango blinks. “It’s the thorns. They’re wither rose thorns. That’s how it works.”

Jimmy’s heart jolts. “What?”

Tango spreads his hands. “When Atlas locked the collar, it must’ve caused a- a bunch of thorns to pop out and dig into my neck. But they aren’t- they don’t have the full strength of wither rose, so that’s why I’m not getting the full wither effect, and after a while, you know, they sorta- they numb the area, so I don’t feel them. But when we start yanking on the collar, it forces them deeper into my skin, so it hurts.”

“Oh... my gosh,” Jimmy breathes, aghast. “That’s- that’s horrible!”

The whole concept of the collar is already inhumane- to treat a fellow sentient player like a simple animal. But this? This is just plain evil. 

Impulse seems to be trying very hard not to get upset again. “Well, then,” he says, voice tight. “That rules out my next suggestion, which was to just go at it with a few sharp axes. I don’t wanna like, hammer those thorns deeper into your neck...” His expression turns thoughtful. “What if we try and get something sharp between your neck and the collar, slice off the thorns all the way around? Then we could-”

“No,” Tango interrupts. “Look, I- I appreciate the help, but if we tweak this thing the wrong way, it could probably jab an artery, or puncture my trachea, and then I’d respawn and be right back at square one again! No, I- I think we’re done.”

Impulse looks like he wants to argue, but Jimmy catches his gaze, giving him an imploring look. 

“Alright,” Impulse relents. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy says, “we’ll get that collar off, I promise.”

“It’s fine.” Tango’s avoiding Jimmy’s eyes. “It... might not be the worst thing, you know, to have my fire locked down. Considering our fancy new house and all.”

Oh, they can’t have that. Jimmy puts a hand on his shoulder. “Tango,” he says seriously, “your fire is a part of you, and I’m not gonna rest til we’ve got it back.”

Tango sighs, but when he looks up, his eyes are fond. “I know.”

Impulse exhales slowly. “Do you... wanna try and get the cuffs off, then?” he offers.

“What?” Tango jolts. “Why? They aren’t hurtin’ anything.”

Impulse holds up his hands. “Hey, it’s okay, I just thought... if they’re from that terrible place, maybe you’d wanna get rid of ‘em?”

“And y’know,” Jimmy chimes in, “it’d be a lot easier for someone else to crack them off ya, couple good swings with an axe, maybe…”

“That won’t work,” Tango says stiffly. “They’ve been on me for so long now, been through so many respawns that if I’m not the one to remove them, it- they’ll just keep coming back.” 

Impulse inhales through his teeth, understanding dawning in his eyes. “Oh, man.”

“Are you sure?” Jimmy asks, his heart sinking. He isn’t overly familiar with the universal rules that determine what does and doesn’t respawn along with a player, but Tango seems pretty certain.

“Yeah. They’re basically part of my data now.”

“Oh.”

The unspoken question is glaringly obvious: ‘why haven’t you removed them yet, then?’ The cuffs seem just as well-made as the collar, but surely there’s a way to cut through them. At least, he should’ve been able to find a way sometime during the last ten years- even if he wasn’t comfortable asking any of the Hermits to help him.

But Jimmy can tell Tango’s already hit his limit for today. It’s a subject he’s always avoided discussing in the past, so they’ll just have to wait until he’s ready.

(Oh, gonna make that mistake again?)

‘Shut up,’ Jimmy thinks.

~*~

“Need some help, hun?”

“Ack!” Jimmy gives a start, accidentally yanking out the feather he’d been teasing. He whirls around. “Tango!”

Tango holds his hands up. “Sorry, sorry!”

“Jeeze,” Jimmy laughs, catching his breath, “I- I thought you guys were still working on the portal!”

“Well, yeah,” Tango says, closing the door behind him, “but Etho thinks we need a redstone ore block and we didn’t have any layin’ around, so he and Impulse went mining.” He crosses over to sit on the bed, curiously studying the feathers strewn about. “Doin’ some preening?”

“Um...” Jimmy ducks his head sheepishly. “Yeah, just- just the uh, burned ones... they’re startin’ to itch.”

Tango gives him a sad smile. “Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to hide it from me, I- I won’t get all weird mega guilt-trippy about it.”

Jimmy softens. “I just... I know you’ve been beating yourself up about it, that’s all.” He gazes at the burned feather in his hand. “It was an accident. I don’t blame you.”

“I know.” Tango runs a gentle hand over one of Jimmy’s wings. “Can… can I help?”

Jimmy smiles. “Sure.”

~*~ 

“Wait, are you serious?” Tango asks, eyes wide. “You think the portal’s ready to go? Right now?”

Grain nods. “Yeah, I do.”

Jimmy glances between them with raised eyebrows. They’d called Grian over for a little update on the current state of the portal project- now complete with the fancy player detector system that the redstoners have been painstakingly building over the past week. But once Etho explained that the final step was stabilization, Grian had dropped a bomb on them.

“I’ve uh… been doin’ some research,” Grian continues, “and I’m pretty sure that Hels has a firewall that’s just been sorta… inverted? It’s still a one-way barrier, it just stops players from making portals out rather than in. ‘Course, it’s still inaccessible by comm portal, but our little set-up here should circumvent that. Once we’ve gotten the portal to lock onto Bravo’s coords, there shouldn’t be anythin’ stopping it from forming.”

Etho scratches the side of his mask. “Well, if we don’t have to stabilize the portal, that’ll definitely simplify things,” he says. “We might actually have everything we need already.”

“Couldn’t hurt to fire it up,” Impulse agrees, glancing at Tango. “Just to give it a little test drive? If we do get a portal open, we can easily shut it down right after. We don’t have to actually go through it.”

Tango hesitates. “But wouldn’t Grian have to lift the lockdown?”

“Yeah, I will,” Grian amends. “But I’ve actually just finished settin’ up a firewall, so when I lift the lockdown, we’ll still be protected. We’ll be able to leave through any portal we want, but no one else can get in without bein’ on the whitelist.”

“Wait, really?” Tango looks surprised. “Why- did you let the others know? I- I’m sure they’ll wanna get back to their other worlds.”

“Ey, I only just finished it!” Grian defends. “I wanted to let you lot know first, so there wouldn’t be any panic or confusion if people started randomly leavin’ through portals. I’ll inform the others, but uh, I’m pretty sure they’ll wanna just stick around til we get this done. Especially if the portal’s ready to go. All that’ll be left to do is come up with our plan of attack, and we’ll need all hands on deck for the actual mission.”

“Yeah,” Impulse says easily, “Hermitcraft can wait.”

Tango chews his lip. “I… I guess we can try it,” he relents.

“Great!” Grian pulls his communicator out. “Gimme a second to lift the lockdown, okay…”

Jimmy turns to Tango, taking him by the hands. “Hey, is this alright?” he asks softly. “We don’t have to try it today if you don’t wanna.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright,” Tango assures him, squeezing his hands. “It’s just- it’s a bit sooner than I was expecting, you know? But this is good. I mean, if this works, then this whole business will finally be over.”

Jimmy’s eyes trace the collar around Tango’s neck. “Yeah. And not a moment too soon.”

Obviously they’ve still got a pretty significant task ahead of them. It’ll be no easy feat to storm Hels Tek, not if they’ve got as much muscle backing them up as they did for the invasion. Atlas is one slippery fella, and it might be hard to get Bravo to listen to them long enough to cooperate. But getting the portal in working order is another hurdle down, so they can shift gears towards the impending mission. And once that’s done, there’ll no longer be a threat hanging over them.

Suffice to say, Jimmy’s looking forward to getting back to his domestic bliss.

“Okay,” Grian says, glancing up, “lockdown is officially lifted. Go ahead.”

“Alright, Tango.” Etho pushes away from the wall. “Uh, just hop onto the redstone ore block whenever you’re ready, I guess? Everything should be in place.”

Tango exhales shakily, looking nervous, but he manages to give Jimmy a smile. “Here goes nothin’...”

Turning away, he steps onto the redstone ore block, which immediately lights up. It starts a sort of ripple effect along the dust that connects it to the rest of the redstone, triggering all kinds of ticking and flashing. It’s all Jimmy can do to follow the signal as it travels towards the portal frame-

Static fills the air, and the portal ignites. Swirling red light fills the frame.

“Oh, nice,” Grian breathes.

“Yes!” Impulse cheers. “We did it!”

“Okay, uh, Tango?” Etho nods at him. “Go ahead and step off the block, now.”

Tango doesn’t respond. He’s staring at the portal with an unreadable expression clouding his gaze, almost as if in a trance.

Jimmy quickly hurries to his side. “Tango,” he murmurs, gently shaking his arm, “come on.”

“Huh?” Tango jolts. “Oh, oh right, sorry!” 

He steps aside, and the portal remains lit. Impulse grins. “Alright, looks like we’re good,” he says, stooping over to hit a button next to the portal. A piston extends across the redstone line, and the portal extinguishes.

Jimmy lets out a breath of relief. An irrational part of him had been worried that Hels players would immediately start pouring through. “You okay?” he asks Tango quietly.

Tango nods. “Yeah, sorry,” he says with an apologetic smile. “I’m fine, it just… kinda hit me all at once.”

“Yeah,” Impulse says, “I definitely wasn’t expecting to have a working portal today, either. But hey, good job guys!”

“Yeah, nicely done, fellas,” Grian says, sounding pleased. He starts typing on his communicator. “I’m gonna let the others know we’ve got the portal workin’, and tomorrow… we’ll all meet to start planning our invasion of Hels. I’m sure if we put our heads together, we can come up with a solid plan to get Bravo, get that key from Atlas, and get out.”

Tango snorts. “Oh, sure. Easy peasy.”

“Don’t worry,” Jimmy says, putting a hand on Tango’s shoulder. “We won’t go through til we’re all good and ready, yeah?”

Tango’s expression softens. “Yeah.”

“Right.” Grian puts his communicator away. “Get some rest, everyone, and we’ll see you tomorrow. Details in chat.”

~*~

<Grian> portal done. meet @ impulse and bdubs tomorrow at noon for hels invasion plotting. all ideas welcome

<PearlescentMoon> Ooh :0 

<InTheLittleWood> wait seriously? already??

<Renthedog> YO amazing job on the portal guys! :D 

<BdoubleO100> oh THANKS A LOT for volunteering us to host GRIAN!!

<Grian> :P 

~*~

Later that night, in the dark quiet of their room, Tango rolls over to nestle his head beneath Jimmy’s chin, claws bunching up the fabric of his shirt.

“Thanks,” he murmurs.

Jimmy hums. “For what?”

“For… not givin’ up on me.”

“What’d’you mean?”

“I mean… you know, I- after everything I did, and- and everything I said…”

“I already told you, that doesn’t matter to me.”

“Yeah, I know. But when I realized the secret was out… that things were- that we couldn’t just go back to normal… I mean, I was convinced it was over. Everything, my- my new life, my freedom, my friends. Us. But you never gave up hope.”

“Of course. It’s been a long road here, alright, I- I’m not givin’ that up without a fight.”

Tango tilts his chin up to look at Jimmy, red eyes glowing in the dark, and leans in to meet his lips. They kiss slow and sweet. Warmth hums in Jimmy’s chest.

This hasn’t been an easy journey, and he knows there’s plenty more challenges still ahead. Even if the mission to Hels goes well and they achieve all that they want to, the experiences Tango’s been through won’t magically go away. It’ll take time. Healing isn’t linear. But with everything out in the open now and the support of their friends, Jimmy’s hopeful that Tango can start to unlearn his self-hatred. Jimmy will be there every step of the way.

All too soon, Tango pulls away. “We should get some rest,” he whispers, settling against Jimmy again.

“Yeah,” Jimmy sighs ruefully, draping a wing across Tango. “Gonna need all two of my brain cells at full strength.”

Tango huffs a soft laugh. “Love you, honey.”

Jimmy closes his eyes, smiling. “Love you, too.

~*~

Jimmy wakes up to a cold bed.

That immediately sets off alarm bells in his head, because since when has Tango gotten out of bed before him? Then he opens his eyes and realizes it’s still night; a faint crescent moon hangs in the starry sky visible through their window. Their room is dark and empty. Tango is nowhere to be seen.

The alarm bells become a siren.

No, no, no, no, no.

Jimmy springs out of bed, sparing a second only to grab his shoes off the floor before throwing the door open. His heart is in his throat as he flies down the stairs to the main level- all dark and empty- and hooks the corner to wrench open the basement door. 

Already he can see the chilling red glow from the portal cast across the wall, a shadow of bleeding light, and a million curses scream through his mind. His stomach feels like it’s knotted in on itself and his lungs are burning for air, he’s moving faster than what seems physically possible and yet not nearly fast enough as he crashes down the stairs and bursts into the portal room, mouth opening to cry out-

Just in time to watch Tango vanish into the red light.

~*~

Somewhere in Hels, a player walks through a portal.

Tango’s heartbeat pounds in his ears. He’s already started shaking- if it weren’t for the wither effect flowing from his collar, he’s certain his blaze rods would be igniting right now. It’s a bizarre mix of emotions. The scent of ash and the sight of netherrack are comforting, in a way. Familiar. But it’s also terrifying, because there’s no mistaking where he is.

(There’s a reason he doesn’t like hanging out in the nether.)

Fear threatens to swallow him. He pushes it down; he’s got a job to do.

Forcing a steadying breath through his clenched teeth, he takes in his surroundings, ears pricked cautiously. He’s definitely not at spawn- he’s at the border of a basalt delta, actually, fine gray particles fluttering through the air. Aside from the portal behind him, there’s not a structure in sight. No sounds save for the distant bubbling of lava and the distinctive slap of magma cubes.

Tango frowns, chewing his lip. The portal was supposed to take him to Bravo, so he must be around here somewhere. Why he’s not at Hels Tek, Tango isn’t sure. Maybe they’re out on an errand run? Either way, he ought to start looking around.

But first, he’s got to break the portal so no one can follow him. Everything he’d packed made it through with him, thankfully, so he equips his pickaxe and turns back to the portal-

Just in time for Jimmy to emerge, running straight into him.

The collision knocks Tango to the ground, pickaxe flying from his hand, his forehead stinging where it smacked against Jimmy’s chin. Blinking spots from his eyes, he pushes himself up on his elbows with a groan. Once his vision stops spinning, he locks eyes with Jimmy, who seems just as shocked as he is.

Both of them shout at exactly the same moment.

“What are you doing here?!”

~*~

[mdelpin]

The Red Dragon - Chapter 27

AO3 | FF.Net | Tumblr: Ch1 | Ch26

The next day, Gray went to the top of the mountain where the red dragon could usually be found, but there was no sign of him. Still, he sat there and called Natsu as loudly as he could through what was left of their bond, trying to make the stubborn dragon hear him, to no avail. He repeated this for two more days hoping to show Natsu that he was determined, but it made no difference.

“Gray?”

Gray could hear Lyon and Erza calling to him as if from a great distance, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. It was dark now, and he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there, just wondering how things had come to this. Of all the possible outcomes to their relationship Gray had ever envisioned, he could never have imagined something like this.

He didn't want to talk, didn't want to move. He was emotionally exhausted and filled with a sense of hopelessness. Why was Natsu so damn stubborn? He just wanted to talk to him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he missed the red dragon too. It felt like he'd lost his two best friends.

Erza and Lyon sat on either side of him, and he sighed. "I'm fine, you guys can go home."

"You're not fine, Gray," Erza said in the softest voice he'd ever heard her use, "You've been gone all day again, and we're worried about you. When was the last time you ate or slept?"

“I wasted that whole day, Erza,” Gray groaned in frustration, “Now, I won’t be able to see him for another year, and that’s assuming I can convince him to come back to me.”

“What are you talking about?” Lyon asked him, grabbing on to his brother’s hand and squeezing it. “What happened?”

“Natsu is the red dragon.”

“You’re not making any sense, did he hit you on the head or something?”

He heard a sharp intake of breath to his right and saw Erza covering her mouth with her hand.

"Natsu is the red dragon? Are you sure?" To Gray's surprise, she didn't attempt to argue with him when he nodded or try to tell him it was impossible. And although she remained quiet, he could tell that she was thinking hard.

“But why? Why wouldn’t he tell us? All of us, we were dragon crazy back then. Gods, especially Sting, he wouldn’t shut up about them.”

"Because of me," Gray admitted, "When Natsu and I met when we were little, he tried to tell me what he was, but I didn't believe him. It had only been a few days since Deliora had destroyed my village and killed my parents, and I got so angry at him that I hurt him, and he ran away. He told me later that when his father found out what happened, he forbade him from telling anyone else to keep him safe."

“I knew there was more to that story than what you two were saying!” Erza blurted out before staring off into the distance.

“Poor Natsu, that must have been so lonely,” She wiped her eyes quickly before her expression changed to one of annoyance, “Wait a minute, does that mean he was going easy on us all that time?”

Gray shrugged, he didn’t have an answer to that question. Natsu had always been unbelievably strong, they might have never seen him at full power.

"I found out what this is," Gray said slowly as he held up the pendant and looked at it. He was suddenly afraid to take it off, knowing if he didn't feel anything this time, he was sure to break.

“Natsu made it for me. He gave it to me when he proposed,” With a sad chuckle, he added, “I guess now I know why it only shocked Juvia. Natsu placed a lot of protection magic on it. It must have seen her as a threat.”

“Proposed?” Erza squeezed his hand again and looked at him worriedly when he seemed to be having a hard time continuing.

"Yeah, it turns out Natsu and I are married," saying the words out loud for the first time was harder than he'd imagined. He felt a small twinge of happiness that Natsu had loved him that much, had wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together. Even after everything Gray had said and done over the years.

“M-married?” Erza looked horrified, “Now I feel even worse for trying to force Juvia on you. I had no idea. I thought you were just shy.”

“It’s alright, your heart was in the right place. I didn’t really know myself, it was mixed in with the rest of the memories that I lost.”

“What else did you remember?” Lyon asked, taking in how bedraggled he looked.

“I didn’t lose my memories because of the concussion, Natsu cast a spell to lock them away,” Gray replied, trying not to remember the sorrow in Natsu’s eyes right before he’d done it. A sorrow that Gray had caused with his thoughtless action.

“He did what?!” Lyon roared, his nostrils flaring at Gray’s words.

Gray hurried to defuse his brother before he got the wrong idea, “It’s not what you think, he was trying to protect me.”

His voice broke as he recounted with shame, “I learned what Natsu was, and I rejected him. Even though we were married, even though he almost killed himself healing me after Acnologia attacked me. He uhm, he locked them away to keep me from my guilt.”

“Is that what he told you?” Lyon arched an eyebrow, clearly still not convinced of Natsu’s good intentions.

“No,” Gray clarified firmly, “It’s what I know. I saw it in my memories. Right before he locked them away, he said he was setting me free, that I deserved to be happy.”

Lyon sucked in a breath at his admission, choosing to hug him tightly rather than saying anything more, only letting go when Gray struggled against him.

Gray told them everything he’d discovered and everything he'd figured out, and they both hugged him tightly. They forced him to go home with them. Erza wasn’t satisfied until she had seen him eat and then she threatened to knock him out if he didn't get some sleep before leaving him and Lyon in their guest bedroom.

Lyon, surprisingly, was the one who suggested Gray go to the cave and confront Natsu.

“Here are some clothes you can wear after you take a shower,” Lyon handed him some sleep clothes and Gray headed into the bathroom.

When he came out of the shower, Gray was surprised to find his brother still sitting on the bed, his expression thoughtful. He waited to speak until Gray was seated next to him.

"Look, we both know Natsu has never been my favorite person, " Lyon began, and Gray waved him off, not wanting to hear his brother's rant against his husband.

"Hear me out," Lyon insisted, "I'll admit, a lot of that was jealousy on my part. Even when you first moved in with Ur and me, Natsu was the most important person in the world to you. You talked about him all the time, you trained hard so that you could show him how far you'd come when you saw him again."

Lyon sighed, "You’d met the guy for maybe a week, but somehow he held a place in your world that I could never touch. We lived together for years, and yet you always kept me at a distance. I’d lost everything, you and Ur were my world. I was lonely too, Gray.”

Gray stared at his brother in astonishment, Lyon had never opened up to him like this before, and he realized with a pang that everything his brother was saying was the truth. From the moment he'd met Lyon, he'd told himself that he wouldn't let him in so quickly, still hurt from his encounter with Natsu. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lyon was already continuing.

"When we got here, and he barely gave you the time of day, that pissed me off. Hell, it wasn't until that first time the two of you really fought that I finally saw how much he actually cared about you," Lyon paused, and Gray knew he was trying to piece his words together.

"Once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it, and I couldn't resent him anymore. You both looked at each other the same way, and when the two of you were together, it was like no one else even existed."

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but if you want to salvage something out of this mess that both of you have created, you need to stop being so passive and go fight for what you want. Natsu is just as stubborn as you are, and he’s not going to show up just because you call for him. Not while he thinks he’s protecting you. For fuck’s sake, you know where he lives, stop pining like a lovesick idiot, and go make him talk to you.”

Lyon patted Gray on the back and got up to leave, but Gray quickly stood up and grabbed him, holding Lyon tightly against him in a heartfelt embrace. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. I never meant to hurt you."

Lyon's body stiffened, but he soon relaxed into the hug. "It's fine, I understand now."

They separated, and Lyon ruffled his hair before murmuring, “You’ll find a way, I’m sure of it.”

“Now get some sleep, you look like crap,” Lyon grumbled as he turned the light off on his way out, leaving Gray alone with his thoughts in the darkness.

O-o

“Natsu Dragneel, get your dragon ass out here!”

Igneel was startled out of his thoughts by a human walking into the main room of his lair and yelling angrily for his son.

How had he managed to get into the cave without setting off the warning sigils he and Atlas had placed on all the entrances and exits? They were supposed to go off whenever a human attempted to enter the cave.

Igneel watched him curiously from where he'd been sitting looking through a magic scroll. He readied his magic. Although he still liked to believe that humans were inherently good, years of fighting against renegade dragon slayers had taught him not to be overly trusting. He wasn't too worried, although Acnologia had weakened him considerably, he knew he could still hold his own against a human wizard if it came down to it.

“You can’t avoid me forever,” the man continued to yell, heading towards Natsu’s bedroom.

Igneel's eyes were drawn to the scarf that was wrapped around the man’s neck, a scarf that he was intimately familiar with. He’d been so focused on it he almost missed the sword pendant that was peeking out from underneath it. He instantly recognized it as well from having watched his son work on it for hours on end. Both items marked the wearer as Gray Fullbuster.

Well, that explained it. Gray and Natsu were bonded soulmates. Their souls were intertwined, which probably confused the sigils.

Although he'd heard many things about his son's mate over the years, this was the first time Igneel had ever seen him. He examined him more carefully before entering the main room.

Gray had longish dark hair that stood up in unruly spikes, and even from this distance, Igneel could make out deep blue eyes that exuded both intelligence and determination. He could also feel a strong magic signature emanating from the ice mage. Not that he'd expected any different, Porlyusica's magic signature had also been immense.

“Natsu’s not here at the moment,” Igneel said, trying to hide his amusement at Gray’s reaction when he found his way blocked. The ice mage jumped back several feet but instantly tried to regain his poise, gazing at Igneel defiantly.

Igneel continued to move into the room slowly to avoid appearing threatening, “Can I help you with something?”

“Who--who are you, and where’s Natsu?”

Gray stared at him, awaiting a response, gaze still defiant, and Igneel could see the layer of frost surrounding him as he fought against his instincts. He remained silent, considering how best to handle this situation, well aware of Gray’s opinion on dragons, and red dragons in particular.

Although, was it possible that could be changing? Natsu hadn't given him many details on what had happened on the solstice, but he'd been distraught before he left to check on the other dragons and slayers, demanding to go alone. Igneel hadn’t fought him knowing his son needed some time to himself, but he'd felt uneasy ever since, and having Natsu's mate suddenly show up was not helping.

Igneel traveled through his own memories, the painful ones that he'd set aside so that he could live and take care of his child. It hadn't been so long in years, but to his soul, the separation from Porlyusica felt like centuries. It wasn't uncommon for dragons to die soon after their mates, the pain of their loss so strong they lost the will to live.

He’d had Natsu to think of, though, and he didn’t regret any moment of it. Raising him had kept Porlyusica with him. The pink hair, green eyes, and desire to help others, as well as the incredible kindness that Natsu had, all came from his mother.

Unfortunately, so did the stubbornness and short temper. Igneel had always wished that Porlyusica had gotten a chance to meet their son, and he hoped wherever she was, she was as proud of him as Igneel was.

He knew he'd made mistakes, but despite that, Natsu had grown to be an exceptional human, as well as a dragon. He was curious and brave, and although he might not be the most patient, his loyalty was unshakeable.

Like Porlyusica, he had a big heart. To know Natsu’s love was to bask in the warmest sunlight, and no one knew that better than Igneel, except perhaps the man standing in front of him. He brought himself back to the present to answer Gray’s question.

“I’m Igneel, I’m Natsu’s father,” Igneel replied smoothly.

Gray stared at him, eyes growing larger the more he examined him. He looked as if he was ready to bolt, but he held his ground, and Igneel admired that.

“Natsu isn’t here.”

"Where did he go?" Igneel could almost touch the fear Gray was exuding, and all of a sudden, his own uneasiness exploded as well.

“He went to check on the others,” Igneel replied slowly as his brain tried to puzzle together what Gray was so afraid of, quickly realizing whatever it was must be great if it prompted him to visit their cave. “He left the morning after the solstice. Why do I suddenly get the feeling that’s not where he is?”

“That moron!” Gray shouted, his voice echoing loudly in the cave. He paced the room in agitation, “He went after Acnologia after all. I have to find him. This is all my fault!”

“He what?!” Igneel roared, in a fury. Disregarding that five minutes earlier, he'd been surprised to see Gray there at all. "You knew he was planning this, and you waited until now to tell us?"

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it!” Gray protested, even though he should have known, had seen how determined Natsu had been. He’d just hoped his words had held more weight with the dragon.

Igneel was beside himself. His fool of a son had gone after Acnologia by himself?! Why hadn't he seen it? Natsu had been upset, and Igneel had wanted to believe that he just wanted to spend some time with his friends. He should have known, should have realized what that determination in Natsu's eyes had meant.

“ATLAS!”

Atlas soon rushed into the main room, hellfire already blazing in anticipation of an attack. Happy wasn’t far behind. Atlas stopped in his tracks when he saw no one but Gray in the cave.

“What’s the matter?” Atlas asked, not bothering to mask his concern, “And why didn’t the sigils go off?”

Igneel noticed that Atlas was not looking at Gray very fondly and wondered what else he didn’t know.

“Natsu went after Acnologia,” Igneel informed his brother, ignoring his other question, “We need to find him before he gets himself killed!”

Igneel could hear Atlas cursing under his breath as well as throwing some insults Gray’s way. He shrugged it off and headed to the cave exit, Gray could show himself out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Atlas asked as he blocked Igneel’s path, “You should stay here in case Natsu comes back. Happy, and I can handle this.”

“That’s my son out there, how can you expect me to stay back?”

“You’d only be a liability in your current condition,” Atlas snapped.

“What did you say to me?” Igneel covered himself in his hottest flames as he attempted to stare down his brother.

“The truth and you know it,” Atlas remained utterly unfazed by Igneel’s attempt at intimidation, “I watched Acnologia almost kill you once, I won’t do that again. Stay put and let us handle it. Come on, Happy, let’s go.”

Happy stopped a moment to glare at Gray before quickly following Atlas to the cave exit.

Igneel stared after them, furious that his brother considered him a liability and terrified that they wouldn’t get to Natsu in time.

He shifted his attention back to the human that was standing in his cave. Gray looked equal parts worried and scared, but he hadn't left, earning Igneel’s respect.

“I think it’s time you and I had a talk,” Igneel growled.

“What happened on the solstice?” Igneel’s roar sounded like thunder as it bounced off the cave walls and into Gray’s ears.

Gray tried to swallow down his fear, when Natsu had been in his red dragon form he had usually made himself look non-threatening, probably knowing Gray would not react well after he’d seen him with Atlas. Igneel was angry and had no such qualms at the moment.

Gray looked towards the ground and mumbled something Igneel was not meant to hear, but, of course, being a dragon, he heard him quite clearly.

“You made a mistake?” Igneel glared at him, incredulously, “What is that supposed to mean? What could you have done that would make my son go off to attempt to destroy that monster on his own?”

"I asked him to tell me the truth, and I couldn't handle it!" Gray yelled, releasing all of his anger at himself and at Natsu. Maybe part of him wanted to be punished because he couldn't think of any other reason why he would be yelling at the ginormous angry dragon that was quite obviously trying to keep himself under control.

“I sent him away.” Gray kept his eyes glued to the floor of the cave, not wanting to see how Igneel would react to his admission.

“So you finally know the truth,” Igneel said calmly, his anger seemingly deflated.

Gray looked up in confusion, not expecting the dragon to back down after what he’d said.

“But how, how is it even possible for Natsu to be a dragon?” Gray protested, the impossibility of that statement, making him forget who he was talking to. He needed answers to try to understand their past and to attempt to find a solution to the seemingly insurmountable obstacles they faced in the future. He could only hope that Igneel would give them to him.

Igneel remained quiet for long, torturous moments, occasionally fixing his gaze on Gray before muttering to himself. Gray was becoming increasingly nervous, he'd never expected to be faced with Natsu's father, he thought at worst he'd have a shouting match with Natsu. He was cursing himself for having ever listened to Lyon in the first place when the fire dragon finally spoke.

"Magic," Igneel explained, "I cast a spell to make myself a human temporarily. I needed to find out what humans were really like, and I thought that was the best way to observe them. I met my mate, Natsu’s mother, while in that form. But because I was still a dragon, Natsu was conceived as a combination of both dragons and humans. I-I never thought we could have a child."

Gray was amused to see the giant red dragon look embarrassed, but he only nodded his head, eyes never leaving Igneel's face. As he became more comfortable in Igneel's presence, Gray started to notice the similarities between father and son, and it made his heart ache for the dragon he wished were there in Igneel's place.

Igneel continued, "Dragons are usually hatched in eggs while human beings are birthed. I’m not entirely sure how it all worked, but as we quickly learned, humans are not meant to gestate dragons. The pregnancy took a lot out of her, and she, uhm, died a few minutes after Natsu was born."

Igneel paused, and Gray watched him collect himself. He wanted to say something, but nothing seemed appropriate. It still surprised him to see that dragons were capable of complex emotions like grief.

“Natsu’s a special being, the only one of his kind,” Igneel explained, “For the first few years, we didn’t think he was a dragon at all, he remained in his human body and was from what we could tell, a healthy human child.

“Then, one day, there was a baby dragon in his place. His dragon nature was trying to assert itself, but he couldn’t hold the form for long, usually only for a few hours, and he had no control over how or when it happened.

.

“That's how Natsu found you, you know. He got away from us and went exploring. He latched on to your scent and followed it all the way back to you, and somehow in the short time the two of you spent together, Natsu discovered you were his mate. He returned devastated by your rejection, and I forbade him from searching you out."

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Gray objected, the familiar guilt he’d never quite been able to shake returning, especially now that he understood just how much his actions had impacted Natsu’s life.

“You were a child, one who had just experienced a very traumatic experience at that. I could never blame you for that, especially when part of it was my fault,” Igneel said cryptically.

“While I would have preferred for him to be mated to another dragon, there was no fighting it. I realized then that I would need to prepare Natsu to live among humans so he could eventually have a life with you.

“I sent him to school in Talos so he could learn human ways, and I forbade him from showing his magic or his dragon form to anyone, afraid of what might happen if another human learned of what he was.

“I thought I was protecting him,” Igneel said, lowering his head sadly, ” but all I accomplished was to make him hide who he was, and that made it worse for him when his friends did eventually find out the truth. And now, after what happened to Rogue, Sting has never forgiven him."

Something happened to Rogue? Sting and Natsu weren’t friends anymore? When did all of that happen? Natsu hadn’t said anything about any of that. Igneel was still speaking, so he brought his attention back to what the dragon was saying.

“When you showed up in town, Natsu didn’t know what to do. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he was afraid you’d reject him again. You’d know the rest better than me since I left soon after.”

“So,” Gray asked the question that had been nagging at him since he had come to understand what Natsu was. "What you're saying is that Natsu was always going to end up being a dragon?”

"The war sped up the process, but yes, we think it was probably inevitable." Igneel revealed, “Natsu had hoped to remain human long enough to be able to spend the length of your lifespan with you, but then Acnologia showed up, and the choice was taken away from him.

Gray absorbed that, remembering how Natsu had wanted to run away from Acnologia and finally understanding the why to that very uncharacteristic act. If he had just allowed it… no, there was no sense in having those thoughts. Natsu might have tried to run away, but Gray knew he would never have been able to do it, and even if he had, he would never have forgiven himself.

"Can I ask you something?" Gray was uncomfortable asking Natsu’s father for such private information, but it's not like he had any other choice at the moment.

Igneel grunted his assent, his eyes peering down at Gray curiously.

"I can't feel Natsu as well as I could before, and he said something on the solstice that worried me. Is it possible for a soulbond to be broken?"

Igneel ignored his question in favor of asking one of his own, “What did he say?” He tilted his head to the side as he waited for Gray’s answer.

“I release you from our bond,” Gray repeated the ominous words that had been troubling him since he’d heard them.

Gray didn't like the way Igneel's breath caught or the way the dragon wouldn't meet his gaze. He was once again deep in thought, and his expression kept changing, sometimes looking furious and other times looking worried. He finally gestured at Gray to come closer.

"May I look at your pendant?" Igneel asked, waiting for Gray's permission before holding it with a care that seemed impossible for a creature of his size. Igneel's claws glowed as he probed the pendant, and Gray felt the already sweltering temperature of the cave rise slightly in response to the fire dragon's magic.

"What are you doing?" Gray asked nervously, suddenly aware of how fragile his and Natsu's bond really was. That vague hum that had used to feel so vibrant was now but a whisper, and though there was no pain, it hurt just the same.

If he was honest with himself, their bond was something he'd always taken for granted, but now that it might be gone, he couldn't think of anything more important. He could feel a slight pressure working on the crystal and a sort of poking at the place where he was used to feeling Natsu.

“I’m trying to check the state of your bond, it’s not easy to explain. Soulmates are something that until recently only dragons have had, which is why it’s interesting that both Natsu and I have had human ones.” Igneel fiddled around with the pendant some more before putting it down and snorting.

“Natsu did try to break your bond, but ironically, the amount of protection magic he worked into the stone kept him from succeeding completely. Your bond is fractured, which is why he feels so faint to you, but it’s still there. It can be salvaged, but only if you sort things out.”

“And if we don’t?”

"I really don't know. I've never heard of anyone willingly attempting to break a bond before. Usually, it only happens when one of the dragons dies. It is excruciating to endure. More often than not, the surviving dragon dies quickly, choosing to follow their mate so the cycle can begin once again."

“I-I don’t understand any of this.” Gray struggled with what Igneel had just told him. “I told him I wanted to work things out. Why would he do this? Why won’t he talk to me?”

“You’d have to ask him yourself, I suppose.” Igneel shrugged his rather broad shoulders, “My son is not the easiest person to understand, but you’d know that better than anyone.”

“He’s as stubborn as his mother was. Between you and me, not their best trait.” Igneel winked at Gray. “Knowing Natsu, he would’ve done what he thought was best for you.”

“Now it’s my turn. May I ask you something?”

Gray nodded at the enormous dragon that was his father-in-law.

“Now that you know what Natsu is, and that he’s not likely to return to his human form, what is it you plan to do?”

“I want to find a way for us to fix our bond and remain together. I love him, I always have.”

“Do you love him enough to let him go if that’s what he needs? Or to get past the hatred that has guided you for so long?”

Gray looked at Igneel with surprise, what exactly was he asking? Gray didn't know what to answer. He'd learned a lot about dragons today. They were a lot more complicated than Gray had given them credit for. He thought about Igneel's words and came to a sad conclusion.

"I don't want to let him go, but if that were what he needed, I would do it."

“That is exactly how much he loves you.” Igneel pointed out, “And as for your hatred?”

“I’ve learned a lot about dragons in the last few years that contradicts what I used to think. I--I eventually enjoyed spending time with the red dragon without ever realizing it was Natsu.”

Gray scratched the back of his head as he thought about his next words carefully. “This time around, when I saw him transform, I still wanted to stay with him.” Gray met Igneel’s gaze, which had softened considerably since they’d begun talking, and added earnestly, “I don’t know how I feel about all dragons, but I know how I feel about Natsu, and I really don’t care what form he’s in.”

“Then that is what you need to make him understand,” Igneel tried to encourage him, “I know it won’t be easy to get through to him, it never is when he’s being stubborn. But don’t give up on him yet.”

Gray nodded, “Thank you for talking to me, Igneel, and for giving me a chance.”

“I will tell Natsu to get his dragon ass over to you, once he returns,” Igneel grinned mischievously at his son in law.

“I’m sorry about that I--,” Gray was incredibly embarrassed, he hadn't expected anyone but Natsu to hear him.

"Don't be, I needed a good laugh. Take care of yourself, Gray Fullbuster," Igneel turned around and headed towards a part of the cave Gray wasn't familiar with, marking the end of their conversation and leaving Gray to start the long trek back home. He didn't really feel any better than when he'd arrived, but he was at least content in the knowledge that Atlas and Happy would hopefully keep Natsu safe.

Natsu, you fucking moron, you better not get yourself killed.

0-0

Three days later

“Where did you find him?” Igneel asked Atlas as he stared after the sulking dragon that walked past him without saying a word, heading straight into his bedroom with Happy following close behind.

“He was further away than I’d thought,” Atlas commented, but added no details, “I had a hell of a time getting him to return. He hasn’t said a word since we headed back.”

“I suppose it’s to be expected,” Igneel grunted, “I’ll go have a talk with him.”

Atlas wished him good luck, and Igneel heard him grunt under his breath, You’ll need it.

When Igneel entered Natsu’s bedroom, he found his son huddled in the darkest corner of the room, staring off into nothingness. He wanted to yell at him for being so reckless, his anger itching to make itself known, but he knew that wasn’t the right approach this time.

“You lied to me,” Igneel announced softly, “You went after Acnologia by yourself, didn’t you?”

Natsu didn’t reply, but he looked up at his father’s voice.

“You also tried to break your soulbond,” Igneel continued, undeterred by Natsu’s silence, “Tell me something, were you going to let Acnologia kill you? Was that your plan?”

Natsu remained silent, his features emotionless.

Igneel watched him for a few minutes waiting for some kind of response, but none seemed to be forthcoming.

“You failed, you know,” Igneel informed him, “You only managed to fracture it, but I assume you know that by now. Lucky for you, the protection magic you placed on that firestone was quite advanced. Strong enough to even protect him from you.”

Igneel could see Natsu’s eyes narrowing into slits as he thought about his words.

“How do you know about that?” Natsu finally spoke, and Igneel smiled to himself.

“Didn’t Atlas tell you? Gray came looking for you. He’s the one that told us what you were up to.”

“Gray, came here?” Natsu asked, and it broke Igneel’s heart to see the desperate longing in his son’s eyes.

“Indeed, he did. He wants to talk to you, and I think you should listen to what he has to say,” Igneel began to pace around the room, still trying to keep his anger in check at the extent of his son’s recklessness.

“Natsu, what you did was very reckless. If those protections hadn’t been in place, you could’ve killed him. As it was I could barely feel…,” Igneel paused in mid-step, finally grasping the implication of something he’d ignored before.

“What are you talking about?” Natsu asked, confused by his father’s behavior.

Igneel shook his head for a moment before continuing with his explanation, “Gray is human, you had no way of knowing how his body would have responded. Soulbonds are not meant to be broken, except in death. You can’t possibly understand how painful it is when it happens. It’s like being torn in two, only to discover that all the best parts of you are gone, and all that’s left is this deep emptiness that only death can quiet.”

“Is that how you felt when Mom died?” Natsu asked, waiting for a response that Igneel had never been willing to give.

Igneel sighed, knowing that at some point, Natsu deserved to hear about his mother. He wished it wasn’t so hard to talk about her still. “I had you.”

Natsu waited before admitting with a whisper, “I didn’t want to hurt him, I just wanted to set him free from this nightmare.”

“That’s not really for you to decide on your own,” Igneel pointed out, he knew Natsu’s heart was in the right place, but he really needed to stop making these decisions on his own. “It’s also not what he wants.”

“Just how long was he here?” Natsu asked, surprised by the respect he could hear in his father’s voice.

“Long enough for me to like him,” Igneel snarled, “You need to go talk to him and tell him everything this time. That boy deserves better than what you’ve done to him twice now. There’s a lot more to relationships than physical intimacy, and he’s grown more than you realize.”

Even though he didn’t respond, Igneel could see Natsu was mulling his words over, so he left him alone.

O-o

“How did your talk with the boy go?” Atlas asked offhandedly after Natsu had left, and Igneel smirked at his brother’s attempt to sound disinterested.

“It went better than I’d hoped,” Igneel replied, “It got me thinking. I want your help with a project.”

“A project?” Atlas arched one of his eyebrows in interest, already excited by the prospect. Igneel’s projects were rarely straightforward, and Atlas loved a challenge, especially if they brought with them the chance to create new magic, his one true love.

“I was thinking about the sigils,” Igneel explained, “How did Gray get in without us being alerted?”

Atlas shrugged without much interest, “He’s bonded to Natsu, I would imagine the sigils detected that and misclassified him as a dragon.”

“That’s what I thought too, but that’s not possible,” Igneel reported, “Natsu tried to break their bond and almost succeeded. There wasn’t enough of his soul present for the sigils to recognize, which makes me wonder.”

Atlas looked slightly more interested, “What are you thinking?”

“Well, we’ve known for a long time that dragon births have been declining more every year. What if I managed to discover something by accident?”

“Wait a minute, surely you can’t be suggesting that dragon souls are being born as humans.”

“Why not? Soul mates are something that, as far as we knew was exclusive to dragons, but now both Natsu and I have had human mates. Doesn’t that make more sense than dragons suddenly having purely human mates? Not to mention, their magic signatures are immense, much more than a normal human would be capable of.”

Atlas closed his eyes in what Igneel recognized as his thinking face.

“Remember how quickly and strongly Natsu and Gray bonded, you know it’s possible, Atlas,” Igneel prodded.

“Alright, assuming this little theory of yours is true... So what?” Atlas pointed out, “What’s the point of knowing this if nothing can be done about it? The only way you met your mate was by casting a spell on yourself that shortened your lifespan, and it was a complete coincidence, and then you sired a hybrid that can’t even do that.”

“Well, it could mean that eventually once all the dragons die out, we’ll continue to find each other in human bodies as human populations increase. Nature always finds a way to balance things.”

Igneel became excited as he remembered something Porlyusica had told him, “Did you know that magic has only been found in humans in the last hundred years or so?”

“So now you’re saying that all humans with magic have dragon souls? That doesn’t make any sense. Magic has always existed. It’s in the ethernano in the air, it’s just a question of being able to absorb it and harness it. Besides, the magic signatures of both Porlyusica and Gray are more powerful than any of the other humans we’ve encountered, excluding the dragonslayers. Your logic is flawed, Igneel.”

“Ok, yes. You bring up a good point, but my initial theory is still possible. Maybe it’s the dragon souls that are giving these individuals a bigger potential for magic.”

“Alright, now we’re back to so what?”

“If Gray has a dragon soul, isn't it theoretically possible that we could find a way to transform him into a dragon?”

“AHAHAHA! That’s amusing,” Atlas laughter boomed all around them, “I’d be tempted to try it just to see his face when you suggest it. It’s pointless, that boy would never agree to such a thing.”

“I think you’re wrong, he gave me the impression of being desperate enough to at least consider it.”

“Your heart’s in the right place, Igneel, but even if we managed to create the proper spell, you already know what the problem is going to be. The boy has a human body, his magic might be able to fuel the transformation, but for how long? Human life spans are short, the spell would eat up his life force very quickly.”

“I don’t mean temporarily, I mean permanently,” Igneel announced.

Atlas balked, “You want to turn him into a dragon permanently? Are you out of your mind? Transformation magic has limits, you know that.”

“What about soul magic, can we do something with that?”

“You mean like extracting his soul and implanting it in a dragon body?”

“I don’t know, maybe? It’d have to be an ice dragon since that’s his magic.”

“Wait, you want two fire dragons to somehow create an ice dragon? You don’t ask for much, do you?”

“I have faith in you and your abilities,” Igneel grinned, knowing that would goad his brother on.

“I don’t know, the energy requirements for something like this would be huge, where are we going to get access to something like that?”

“Why don’t you let me worry about that? First, we have to determine whether my theory is correct or not,” Igneel pointed out, desperately trying to keep his brother from figuring out what he’d already decided when he’d set upon this course of action. Atlas stared at him for a few moments trying to figure out what he was planning, but the way he kept glancing at his room told Igneel he’d managed to pique his interest.

0-0

For the first time since the day they’d met, Natsu was absolutely terrified of seeing Gray. How many memories had returned to him since the last time they’d seen each other? Had he already remembered why Natsu had taken his memories in the first place? Natsu really hoped he hadn’t, he wanted to grant him at least that small mercy.

He paced around the field that had played such a significant role in their relationship over the years until he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. Natsu reached for the weak link that still bound them together. He called his mate to him, not entirely sure if there was enough left for Gray to hear him. Still, he kept trying, calling Gray to him over and over until he finally saw his husband walk towards him as he had so many times before.

He couldn’t read Gray’s expression in the slightest, and it fed into his fear. At this point, it was only Igneel’s words that were keeping him there. They were both silent, staring at each other as if sizing up an opponent before a battle, and Natsu mused that was probably exactly what they were doing.

“You came,” Natsu broke the silence, “I, uh, wasn’t sure you would.”

Gray bowed his head for a moment before reaching out and touching Natsu’s muzzle gently. “I am so sorry for how I treated you.”

Natsu was too surprised to react to the words, his eyes widening comically. Gray pressed his forehead to Natsu’s snout rubbing in a way that felt almost like he was forcing Natsu to scent-mark him.

“Y-you didn’t do anything,” Natsu tried to keep his racing heart at bay, confused by Gray’s actions and what they meant, “I was the one who lied to you all these years.”

He noticed that Gray was still wearing his scarf. The pendant he had made for him with Gajeel’s help, as a token to their union, peeked out from underneath its folds. Could his father have been right? Was it possible Gray still wanted him, even knowing he couldn’t change back? He had said so on the rooftop, but Natsu had attributed it to Gray trying to talk him out of going after Acnologia.

“We have a lot of talking to do,” Gray stated flatly, “And I don’t want to do it here. I want you to take me somewhere.”

“Y-you want to ride me?” Natsu sputtered, wholly shocked by Gray's words.

Gray nodded, “I want you to take me to Isvan, I think that’s where we should talk.”

Natsu was still confused, but he allowed Gray to mount him as he thought about his husband's words and realized he was right. Isvan was where it had all begun.

Natsu had never been there, but he'd heard that like a lot of other towns that had been destroyed, it had never been restored.

“Are you sure you want to go back there?” Natsu asked, concerned about what it would do to Gray to return there.

“Yes,” Gray replied firmly, no trace of doubt in his voice.

Natsu could feel Gray touching the scales on his neck and back, and purrs of contentment escaped him before he could contain them.

“I’m not saying what you did was right, but I know that I hold some of the blame as well. Now let’s go.”

Natsu took off into the air, reaching out with his senses to make sure they weren’t being followed. He headed in the general direction he knew Isvan to be, having seen the name on maps during the war.

Gray didn’t say a single word during the trip, but Natsu didn’t mind much. His own brain was a jumble of confused thoughts and a desperate yearning for what he knew deep in his bones he couldn’t have. He was just happy to have Gray with him, even though he had no idea where this conversation was going to take them.

A/N: Here we are a year later. I am rather proud that I have managed to keep to the schedule I planned out all those months ago, even with a hiatus I hadn't factored in. I'd never attempted that before. However, we will be going back to every other week from now until the end. There are three chapters left and only half of one is written up, even though I do know what is going to happen.

This chapter is actually two meshed together as I didn't want to go past the 30 chapters I had planned but it all kind of worked together anyway.

For those of you who have come along for the ride from the beginning, or early on, thank you so much for giving this story a chance. It means a lot to me. This is probably the biggest story I have ever imagined, and that is terrifying on so many levels. I am sad to see it nearing its end, although I am also excited about what's coming.

 As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I know I say this a lot, but I do enjoy hearing from you. I am a fan of this story too, and I love talking about it. So, don't be shy. Thanks to @oryu404​ for the beta read!

@ao3feed-gratsu​