#LOOOOOONG-suffering

[secret-spirit]

REDEMPTION

So i had an idea-

What if the way to defeat Shadow Milk is to seal them away again but instead inside Pure Vanilla's souljam, PV is the only one who can see, hear and talk to Shadow Milk and vice versa with PV, so i thought this could be a chance to learn more about Shadow Milk and their reason to descend into Darkness. (Plus cue SM messing with PV so much until they get bored and slowly beginning to get mad at PV for thinking he even cares about them)

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Watching Dark Shadows again means I'm going to wind up writing a long post about Willie Loomis, another one of those characters I've latched onto obsessively, and I'm making it everyone's problem. John Karlen's Willie Loomis from original Dark Shadows is my favorite character in any incarnation of the series, but I have the same problem with him that I have with Toad from the X-Men.

Under cut, because long

So, just like Toad, Willie is the much-abused lackey of a charismatic villain who gradually becomes more of a complex anti-hero, and eventually a genuine hero. Which leaves writers with the problem of - now that the villain is a "good guy" (or at least no longer actively evil), what do we do about the lackey?

Toad is a mutant whose genetics made him ugly and weird-looking, and also gave him powerful legs that let him leap super-humanly high (it also later gave him a long tongue, green skin, the ability to secrete toxins from his skin and a dozen other powers added by later writers). Toad spend his childhood being treated like shit, until he was rescued by Magneto, who continued the trend of treating Toad like shit as part of Magneto's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. In the 60's Magneto was a classic villain, and Toad was his Igor, a sniveling lackey who follows him around begging for his favor, and tattling on any other Brotherhood members who step out of line. Toad is pathetic, and the reader is meant to feel disgust towards him, but at the same time, he clearly doesn't deserve the way Magneto hits him, yells at him, and abandons him whenever convenient.

Then Claremont got ahold of Magneto and made him a MUCH more complex, and arguably noble character, no longer a megalomaniacal villain, but a Well-Intentioned Extremist who wants to protect his fellow mutants. Toad is conveniently no longer at Magneto's side by this point. Writers made some vague attempts to rehabilitate him (including having him try to be Spiderman's sidekick), but it never works. Toad is rarely treated seriously - he remains a villain but is rarely effective at it, he's pathetic, disgusting, a complete joke. Even his semi-sympathetic storyline in Wolverine and the X-Men had him treated as a joke for most of that series, acting as the X-Men's janitor and sleeping on the floor. Magneto goes back and forth between hero and villain, but maintains his complexity and dignity, and is arguably much more of a good guy than bad guy. So Toad, who bore the brunt of Magneto's abuse back in the day, has to be swept under the rug and forgotten, or written as such a gross, pathetic creature who is so unlikable that no one cares that Magneto used to smack him around.

Similarly, Willie Loomis from Dark Shadows. Willie was a petty criminal, with a wild streak that seemed to indicate he could potentially be violent and dangerous, who unearthed vampire Barnabas Collins by opening the Collins' family tomb in search of hidden treasure. Barnabas attacked and fed on him, and from that moment he became Barnabas' hapless servant. Willie is both horrified and deeply humbled by an encounter with someone so much worse than himself. Barnabas starts the show as a villain, who feeds on people (and kills them if they become inconvenient), who terrorizes and beats Willie, and who kidnaps a waitress and tries to brainwash her into becoming his long-lost fiance, whom she resembles. Willie is Barnabas's unwilling accomplice to all of this, knowing that it is horribly wrong, but afraid that Barnabas will kill him, and kept under Barnabas's vampiric control. In a sense, suffering brings out the "better side" of Willie, he stops causing trouble in town, he show compassion for others, he tries his best to protect Maggie to his limited ability. Eventually, Maggie escapes, but seems to have lost her memory from the trauma. When rumors spread that she has regained her memories, Barnabas plans to kill her, and Willie rushes out to save her. But it's actually a trap, Willie gets shot multiple times by police, put into a coma, and framed for Maggie's kidnapping, and it is the saddest thing ever.

But that's not all for Willie! When he wakes up, Willie is deeply confused, and is declared insane and shipped off to Windcliff, the local mental hospital. Much later, Barnabas arranges to get him out because he needs a lackey again, although he claims to feel bad about how he treated Willie (Julia sees right through this bullshit). Willie seems to not fully remember what happened, and thinks that he and Barnabas are friends. After that, both Willie's presence on the show and his characterization fluctuate a lot. He disappears for long periods of time, and will reappear just hanging out at the Old House when the plot needs him (or even if it doesn't). John Karlen, the actor, apparently left the show sometimes for other work, so writers would just write Willie out....or not bother with him at all. Sometimes Willie is a jerk, sometimes he seems excitable and childish and makes impulsive decisions, sometimes he's just a normal guy reacting in very understandable ways to the supernatural bullshit he's been plunged into. He continues to work for Barnabas, even when all common sense should have him running for the hills.

Meanwhile, Barnabas has become the dark horse star of the show. Anyone who remembers Dark Shadows will remember it as "the show about the vampire," but it wasn't meant to be. It was meant to be a gothic soap opera about a young governess in a creepy mansion, working for a family full of secrets. Barnabas was meant to be a villain who would eventually die, but he became insanely popular. He was gradually redeemed, in part with the help of the other best character Dr. Julia Hoffman attempting to cure him of vampirism (it sort of worked, but it never stuck). He got a tragic backstory about how a witch cursed him and by extension the entire Collins family. (Although the witch was a servant that Barnabas had an affair with and then dumped for his more respectable fiance, so part of me thinks, "Good for her.") He became a reluctant vampire, chained in a coffin for 200 years and emerging into an unfamiliar new world, with all the family he once knew dead (although the Collins descendants remained). While he continued to be ruthless, manipulative, and sometimes violent (and straight-up murderous), he also pursues more noble goals, protects the Collins' family, and goes up against threats worse than himself.

So of course Willie, the much-abused servant, gets a similar treatment to Toad. He is often ignored or pushed aside. After his return from the mental hospital, he doesn't get much in the way of character arcs, but mostly falls into the role of the sidekick of the new vampire hero. Barnabas no longer beats him, but still sometimes treats him coldly and with derision, and pushes him to do things that he absolutely does not want to do. Barnabas and Julie even threaten to send him back to the hospital and declare him "untreatable" if he doesn't play ball. The audience might have been on Willie's side when he stood against Barnabas for Maggie's sake, but now that Barnabas is the main protagonist, Willie is expected to stay by his side, clean the house, light the candles, and either dig up or bury bodies, depending on what Barnabas needs. Of course, in fairness to the show, Willie's lack of development isn't just to make Barnabas look good, it's also because John Karlen had other acting jobs, and was allowed to leave the show and return frequently.

Other portrayals of Willie get even less sympathetic. There are tie-in novels that generally treat Willie as unsophisticated and barely competent next to the charming Barnabas (if he even appears at all). The 2012 Dark Shadows movie made Willie a surly drunk who barely seems to care about (or even register) what's happening around him, and sidesteps the whole abuse issue. Barnabas hypnotizes Willie into serving him, but doesn't feed off him, and I don't think he ever gets violent with him. Willie is just there, along for the ride. Then again, the less said about the movie, the better.

Then there's the 1991 revival Willie, who is very different from Karlen, and generally not in a good way. This version of Willie is dumbed down to the point that he almost seemed intellectually-disabled, or maybe like an offensive caricature of someone who is intellectually-disabled, although I don't think that was the actor's intention. 91 Willie starts off as a belligerent drunk, but never really has the violent edge of Karlen's Willie, and generally acts like an overgrown child. The worst he does is cause a scene at the Blue Whale and it's suggested that he's done worse in the past ("Willie can get a little crazy sometimes,"), but Carolyn isn't afraid of him at all, and describes him as "weird, but harmless." He is also now the nephew of housekeeper Mrs. Johnson, combing Willie and OG DS character Harry Johnson, and giving Willie a reason to be at Collinwood besides Jason McGuire.

Despite not being Karlen, I have a soft spot for this Willie, mostly because, after being bitten, he spends most of his scenes trying keep people from getting hurt or killed. Post-bite Willie is suddenly kind and friendly and trying to "clean up his act," (that part is presumably due to pressure from Barnabas). He is also threatened, screamed at, and violently beaten by Barnabas, yet seems entirely devoted to him from the beginning. Karlen's Willie at least pushed back against Barnabas, and openly hated him, until his trip to and from the mental hospital. 91 Willie is like someone in an abusive relationship. He has to walk on eggshells around his moody and violent boss, but seems to blame himself when Barnabas lashes out, and never gets angry, even when thrown down the stairs and beaten. (Actually, Willie gets thrown down the stairs twice on this show). Willie's general attitude seems to be that Barnabas is a swell guy, and he's only mean because he's a vampire, and once he is cured, he and Willie will be best friends, and if Barnabas is cold, or condescending, or cruel, it must be Willie's own fault for saying or doing the "wrong" thing.

Which is a pretty disturbing way to portray a relationship between a guy and his abusive boss. I think part of the problem is that the show is trying to speed-run the greatest hits of original Dark Shadows, so they want Barnabas as a "villain," but also Barnabas as a romantic hero at the same time. Barnabas hurts and kills people, manipulates everyone around him, and rarely takes any accountability for his own actions, but is still meant to be a sympathetic reluctant vampire, who doesn't kidnap his "one true love" (now Victoria Winters instead of Maggie Evans), but does seem pretty dead set on marrying her before Vickie has even agreed to go steady.

So the show also speedruns Barnabas and Willie up to the point where Willie has fallen into the role of devoted sidekick, no matter what Barnabas does. It also seems, at times, like we are supposed to sympathize with Barnabas when he lashes out and then apologizes and shows a gentler side. Like there's a scene where Barnabas shoves Willie against wall for saying the wrong thing (Willie is totally right in what he says, btw), then Barnabas gets ahold of himself and apologizes, and even gives Willie a gentle pat on a cheek - which Willie flinches away from, a great acting detail. Then Barnbas calls Willie "a loyal friend," and Willie is all, "Ah geez, Barnabas, it's okay, I'd do anything for you." And I guess we're supposed to see the poor vampire struggling with his violent urges? But that little moment of kindness can be very much part of an abusive relationship. The abuser lashes out, apologizes and shows kindness, and the victim goes, "Ah, he's not a bad guy, this must be my fault for upsetting him!"

This isn't me trying to argue the morality of watching Dark Shadows, btw, or saying that you can't enjoy Barnabas or his relationship with Willie in any version of the show. Hell, some people ship them, and that's cool, too! But sometimes the "relationship" between them is hard to watch, both in 66 and in 91. It doesn't help that I don't particularly like Barnabas, the way I do like Magneto (bringing the Toad comparison back in). He's a fascinating character, and all due credit to both Johnathan Frid and Ben Cross for making him compelling to watch, but he's frequently a horrible person. The 91 version in particular, who is meant to be our romantic lead, is incredibly manipulative, and cruel. Maybe if the series had continued we would have seen more of his better side. Or maybe poor 91 Willie would have also gotten shot in the back, committed, and blamed for Barnabas's crimes.

I think what I would really like for Willie, if there is ever another Dark Shadows reboot, is some equality and even mutual respect between him and Barnabas, the same way there is with Barnabas and Julia. The relationship can start out abusive, if it must, but eventually Willie needs to gain his independence and self-respect, and choose to stay with Barnabas ONLY after they reckon with the past and Barnabas stops hitting him (or threatening him, or shoving him, or grabbing him by the shirt front and snarling at him). I actually like the idea of Willie as part of the Supernatural Shenanigans trio with Julia and Barnabas, but not if it means Willie just conveniently forgetting everything and getting manipulated into thinking that Barnabas and Julia are his best buddies. Or Willie getting pushed down to make Barnabas look better. Basically, I want Hawkes Harbor, the Dark Shadows fanfic with the serial numbers filed off, where 66 Willie is treated like an actual main character and not a lackey or punching bag.

A few other random thoughts:

66 Willie actually gets to tell Barnabas off in one of the Big Finnish Audio dramas, where he sides with Maggie over his former boss, and tells Barnabas that they were never friends. Good for you, Willie.

91 Willie accepts mistreatment so readily from Barnabas, it makes me wonder if he is used to being abused. He's already the town scapegoat, and then everyone thinks Barnabas is this amazing person who "civilized" Willie, while he is actually beating the shit out of him, and it's so sad.

I actually liked some details of 91 Willie, even if I didn't love the portrayal. Him being Mrs. Johnson's nephew gave him closer ties to Collinwood than 66 Willie, and it's implied that he's been there awhile. Did he grow up there, in this opulent mansion as the servant's kid and not part of the "real" family? Or did he live with his father (said to be deceased) and only visit occasionally? Roger clearly has no patience with Willie, Elizabeth seems a little more forgiving. I notice in the pilot, when Willie fails to pick up Vickie like he was meant to, Roger gives Elizabeth this look, like, "See? I'm right!" while Elizabeth just looks disappointed.

I also liked the scene in the bar when, after Willie has caused a scene being an asshole, Joe offers to give Vickie a ride to Collinwood. Vickie gives Willie a long look, and says, "I think it'll be just fine," and asks Willie to drive her, "if it's all right." I think this moment is Vickie thinking, "This jerk works for the family, I'm gonna have to deal with him on a daily basis, I don't want to get on his bad side." And it works, even pre-bite Willie seems to be fine with Vickie. He's nasty, but not directly to her. I like Vickie being a bit proactive and showing some spine.

[sossi-still-dreamin]

more haikyuu fic recs!

still reading fanfiction wayy to late into the night... welp this is what i have to show for it :D some of my fav reads (all of them are one-shots unless otherwise specified)

kagehina

5 times hinata was picked up and turned off + 1 time it turned him on by day - this ones an og, basically a 5+1 type fic with the headcanon that everytime someone picks up hinata he *turns off* suuuuper fun ;)

saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy - kagehina college au where hinata can't cook and kageyama is a chef... bonus of suga being an awesome coworker to kageyama (only one here that isn't a oneshot)

revealed translations by junolism - super fun fic where basically kuroken introduces hinata into the five love languages <33

in transit by mysecretfanmoments - the #1 kagehina fic ya'll this is a must read. main point is hinata likes staying close to kageyama on buses and trains and it means nothing... probably hehehe

as it should be by gghostnebula - def one of my favorite fics because its HURT/COMFORTTT yesssss we lovessss. hinata gets bullied at school and doesn't tell anyone... until kageyama finds out...

spoiled by buu - also like anything by buu is really short and amazing :D this ones about how kageyama spoils hinata :)

as we all fall down by thatonegreenpencil - an injury fic! that ends well! hinata sprains his ankle and kageyama fusses... its a real fun one, this one.

iwaoi ;p

i choose you by tripsh - super cute iwaoi oneshot soulmate au. theres a tiny clock on everyone's wrist, it countsdown to when you meet your soulmate, but iwa-chan's has always been at 0. he falls for oikawa anyways :D

to be first, to be best by kittebasu - another oneshot but slightly longer, a getting together + confession fic in iwa-chan's pov. a tiny side of daisuga and a good deal of jealousy ;) college au

coffee king by oiivkawa - a loooooong 33 ch coffee/uni au fic thats realllllly good all throughout :D it's super fluffly, not slow burn at all except in maybe the first five chapters, with sides of kuroken :D it's a long read but totally worth it!

kuroken (yes i still have more)

i'll make you happy (just wait and see) by newamsterdam - super sweet oneshot kinda au? where kenma is part of a game design company and its getting together and confession i think? good humor in here as well :D

sour cats by togekissies - a really good friends to lovers kuroken getting together fic AND it's completely canon compliant! so we get hs kenma and kuroo + nekoma content!

in another castle by thehoyden - a kuroken moving in fic that is soooo awesome. it's very domestic, and basically kenma is rich rich dollar dollah. kenma get a new place and subtly not-so-subtly invites kuroo to join him :D

reflections of you by latios - another kuroken soulmate au! you get matching marks with your soulmate but... kenma doesn't tell kuroo about his until... hee hee (it like tgie but without kuroo dying iykyk)

bonus bokuauka fic

tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau - one of my favorite and only bokuaka fics that is hands down beautiful. akaashi is a photography student and needs a model... aka bokutu.

AND because i'm kind of a masochist i really loved the holy trinity of angsty mcd haikyuu fics. and i gave you word counts so you'll know how long you'll be suffering for T-T

in another life by littleluxray - bokuaka (23k words)

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony - kuroken (31k words)

oikawa's last wishes by - iwaoi (duh) (5k words)

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. i did sob, cry, and bawl my eyes out reading these (they are in order of saddest to least sad starting w IAL) but i do love them and think they are worth the experience. they kinda changed my perspective on life, yk? feel free to message me when you need therapy after 'em.

enjoy!

[in-uthenera-we-wait]

It's been a few days since I completed the Veilguard and I am going feral about the dynamics between Mythal, Solas and Lavellan...

It's just a bittersweet kind of pain when I think of them and I want to get my thoughts out before I am overwhelmed by them. Also, this post took way longer than expected to write!

Detailed deep-dive under the cut (to avoid spoilers)

Colour-coded because my brain is weird like that!

Also this is a loooooong post... you have been warned!

On Mythal:

It is clear right from the start (of when we discover the memories of the Dread Wolf) that Mythal is an integral part of who Solas was... Or should I say, who Fen'Harel was/is.

Solas, as a spirit had no desire to take a body and took one for the love of Mythal.

And when I say love, I do not see it as something purely romantic... It goes above and beyond that and not always in the right way.

She sought to mould him into someone she could use. She saw it as Benevolence (the attribute that her spirit is supposed to represent), but I think her purpose had been corrupted even then, even before Solas gets his body at her behest.

The reason I believe it's so is because, true Benevolence doesn't discriminate and denotes a desire to do good for others. Compassion is that desire enacted.

Mythal's benevolence was conditional. Her benevolence came at the cost of suffering for the Titans. So, there was a sliver of selfishness to her purpose. This isn't necessarily bad but this means that she is no longer truly what her Spirit was supposed to depict, not completely. And this sliver of selfishness is what permeates the entire relationship she has with Solas.

We, as the player, have only ever seen Mythal either through the very rosy lens of the Elvhen who worshipped her very much like the way Solas does, or through Flemeth. The latter is no longer the Mythal that Solas knew. She is a fragment of the original who has gained the wisdom and experience of millennia through the hosts she inhabited.

The truest depiction of what Mythal must really have been like is the fragment we encounter in the Crossroads. She honestly, isn't as likeable as Flemeth/Morrigan was/is.

She is openly haughty, expecting her petitioners to convince her of the dangers to the world outside, and sounds almost bitter that her most ardent devotee hasn't visited her once since she was killed and the remnant of her essence was extracted from the dagger to reside in the Crossroads. She faults Solas to an extent for her fate, and clearly doesn't hold him as beholden as he does her.

So, it felt weird to me that she would be so willing to release him from her service, even more so if you had to fight her for the fragment (as I had to).

The only way I can see her being moved to help convince Solas (especially if we fought her in her dragon form) is that she was observing the world outside the crossroads when she is in Rook's possession, the way Rook interacted with Solas, and even more so the way the Inquisitor speaks of her friend/vhenan.

On Solas:

Solas... the man, the myth, the legend! Where do I even begin to unravel the mess that he is!

Originally, a spirit of Wisdom, tied to Mythal in a way that has him put through the thumbscrews of War and Strife, so much so that I see his transformation into Pride as something like a callus that forms over skin that has been rubbed a few times too many.

His love for Mythal was the start of his doom, and right there, his purpose was changed from Wisdom. Because, wisdom would have remained a Spirit.

Now, the nature of that love is up for debate. Again, I don't see it as something that is purely romantic. Though, I think the way he feels for her is different from the way Mythal feels about him. There is more devotion on his side. He says that he will follow wherever she goes and takes on a physical form for her.

And then, slowly, one step after another, he strays away from the path of wisdom - crafting the Lyrium dagger, making the Titans tranquil, allowing the other Evanuris to claim godhood, letting Mythal persuade him to each of these steps, his regrets have her face.

Remember the following dialog he has with the Inquisitor after they drink from the Well of Sorrows? When he asks them how they will ensure the Inquisition doesn't fail, and when the following dialogue ensues...

Let me present you with evidence on how much he was hurt by that.

INQUISITOR: I trust my friends.

SOLAS: I know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory.

We had already posited that the 'her' in the dialogue above was about Mythal. But back then, we had assumed it was because of the trust Mythal had in the evanuris that caused her death. What if it wasn't so? What if he was speaking of the trust HE had in HER?! He trusted Mythal to stand by him as he had stood by her. And she had failed him.

It could be that this is after her death, but something tells me this was before. Because Felassan's response to Mythal not joining them would be different if it was because she was dead.

So, we've established just how hung up he is about Mythal, because he has this vision of hers that might not even be true. He views her through the lens of adoration and worship that ends up putting her on a pedestal rather than view her as the flawed person she is. He could never be truly free unless he sets aside these feelings he has for her.

I also found it interesting that he has refused to visit the fragment of Mythal that was stuck to the dagger when she was killed. That fragment is the truest version of his friend as she was when she died. He refuses to acknowlege Flemeth and even Morrigan as Mythal.

Even in the end, it is this fragment of Mythal that he knows and remembers that releases him from her service. Because he wouldn't accept it from anyone else!

And with that established, let's move to the final part of this triptych.

The Inquisitor is a tricky one to analyse because they can be so many different things depending on the player. But for this essay, I will be focussing on Lavellan who romanced Solas and sought to change his heart.

On the Inquisitor:

She is everything that Solas believes is wrong with the veiled world his actions resulted in. A shadow of his people, tranquils with no connection to the Fade (especially true if Lavellan is not a mage). He also begins to believe that the anchor is what makes her who she is. That has to be the case, because any other explanation would make his future plans questionable!

But then, she walks into his life, curious and bright, kind and caring, asking him questions with an open heart! The first thing she does is assure him she would protect him from prosecution. She changes everything!

He tries to justify his feelings for her by assuming that the anchor has changed her. But nope! She shoots that down as well. She is truly herself, with or without the anchor. A rare and marvelous spirit.

Lavellan sees him for who he truly yearns to be seen as. Wisdom. She seeks to understand him and asks nothing in return. She is ready to help him whenever he asks for it, and even when he doesn't. She tells him he does not need to mourn alone, when his spirit friend passes!

His one true fear: Dying Alone... and she allays it by promising to be with him, no questions asked.

He almost decides to give it all up and stay with her... as just Solas. To be with the one true person who truly saw him beyond the cool and collected mask he wears. But he doesn't... In another world perhaps but not this one.

And so, he leaves her in the end, because his regrets are too much to be set aside so easily. He also sees bringing down the veil as an act of self-sacrifice, now more necessary than ever because this would mean She would live on happily in a world where his mistakes don't exist anymore. Also, he doesn't want her to see what he would become.

But she perseveres. Every time he pulls away, she reaches out. The parallels between the Solas/Mythal and Lavellan/Solas relationship is just *Chef's kiss*!

She represents Hope for me. And I'd say, she is true to her purpose that way. Even when things don't go the way she wishes it did, she still hopes. Her Hope springs eternal. And that is what saves her, Solas and the entirety of Thedas!

So, towards the end, her Hope burns bright against his Regret. But he is unable to see it until he sets his own regrets aside. And for that to happen, he needed Mythal to release him.

Mythal was his past. But Lavellan is his eternal future. It was up to him to move from one to the other.

Once he was free from that bondage, he could look towards Hope.

Only then could he truly see it... that she had seen him as he truly was, and she loved him... that she loves him still.

In the end, her love did endure, and how!

'Var lath vir Suledin' indeed!

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

Honkai Star Rail A/B/O: Bonding

Characters: Blade, Jing Yuan, Welt, and Luocha as Alphas.

CW: omegaverse

A/N: Did you say more a/b/o? No? Too late! >:P

-------

Blade

Least likely to bond and or it takes a loooooong period of time before he claims and bonds with his omega due to many factors.

His ultimate goal is to one day die and bonding with someone could get in the way with that even if he desperately wants to. There’s also the fact that with his death his partner could suffer from the loss through their broken bond and he doesn’t wish to cause them distress.

He’d have to have a ton of trust, love, and a desire to live for his partner to even consider bonding with them. Once he does bond with them, though his goal remains the same, he sticks by their side till the bitter end.

His bond mark is on their left shoulder as it’s his favorite spot to bite as it’s relatively easy to access from behind or from in front.

Renews his claim during his ruts or if his omega needs reassurance he plans to stay with them for as long as possible.

Will indulge his omega if they wish to try to claim him too though he prefers to be the one doing the biting.

Jing Yuan

Another one that takes sometime to solidify their bond with their omega.

This isn’t due to his fear of leaving them behind like Blade but rather some worry of his omega leaving before him. Long lived species like himself will of course outlive their shorter lived partners and while as an Alpha he might be able to bond with as many omegas as he wishes with little consequence that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

He’s lost many precious to him, both long and short lived, so he wants to be sure that whoever he’s choosing to bond with will stay for as long as possible.

Once he’s sure in his decision he doesn’t hesitate to bond with his partner. His bond mark is on the middle back of their neck since it was his favorite spot to nip and tease.

He doesn’t renew his claim often but he does playfully nip it like he used to when he first became their partner.

Encourages his omega to claim him too and to renew the marks they leave behind regularly.

Welt

Takes a bit longer to decide to bond with his partner due to the fact he needs them to know his past and about his son. Once he trusts them with that information and they accept it he might still hesitate to form a bond.

It isn’t due to a lack of trust, obviously, but he’s still a bit insecure about his age. He’s not getting any younger and he does worry about leaving before his omega and leaving them with the fallout of that broken bond. But once he properly discusses it with his partner and knows that this is truly something they want he’ll go through with it with a warm smile.

Places his bond on the back of their neck as well as it can be hidden away by their clothes to be a bit discrete. Gets flustered when his omega claims him back but loves knowing they want him back.

Luocha

I’d say he’s either the fastest to bond with his omega because he knows what he wants or he chooses not to bond with them at all.

He of course discusses it with his omega during their courting letting them know early on he’d like to bond at some point though he does let them know that if they don’t wish to bond with him it wouldn’t change anything.

He knows he’s not the most stable of Alphas with his constant traveling but he knows what he wants and is willing to provide for them regardless of what they choose.

If they allow him to bond with them he’ll be over the moon. He chooses to bite the right side as that’s where he tends to tuck his head when he basks in their scent.

Open to letting his omega claim him though he’ll tease them a bit for wanting to do so.

[spectrolitha]

Quartz Crumbs of Wyrm's Teeth and First Among the Chickadees

Quartz and Chickadee, an Abyssal and a Lunar, fight about whether or not the world is worth saving almost every time they meet. Almost every time.

(Some more lore under the cut):

Quartz Crumbs of Wyrm's Teeth (he/him) is my Dusk Abyssal in servitude to a Deathlord. You may have seen him on my blog before. He's pretty much with the bad guys and is one of those himself.

First Among the Chickadees (she/her) is my Changing Moon Lunar. She is traveling with some Dragon-Blooded (loooooong story) trying to prevent Deathlords from another attempt to take over Creation. She is also tied to Quartz via the Solar-Lunar bond.

Their bond, as usual, means they have difficulty ignoring eachother; however their view on life is completely opposite. Usually this means that every time they meet a shouting contest begins, which looks roughly like this:

Quartz: you don't get it, the world is rotten and nothing but suffering is left!

Chickadee: no, YOU don't get it! That's how YOU perceive the world, but there's more to it than suffering! What about simple life pleasures? What about lying in grass? What about talking to friends? You're the one who is taking your own joy away!

And so on and so fourth. These two can go on and on. It's kinda funny, actually. While their companions seriously fight eachother with, y'know, weapons (while also exchanging pleasantries and having small-talk about the weather, because that's their way of doing things), these two are just standing there and arguing.

But as you may see, this time it was not a case. Something really messed up should have happened for Chickadee to accept consolation from her enemy – at least, that's what Quartz is worried about.

[midnight--sadness]

Brilliant poll on which stallion will win the gihussy marathon 🥰

Now some will say kim (mercenary) for his built or salesman for his maniacal tendency, but my vote is for junho because:

1. he's a Hwang. it's in the gene

2. in s1 his determination almost single handedly ended squid game

3. have we seen how he looks at gihun? boy's yearning

4. i wanna see inho suffer. got his kidney and his crush stolen by his lil bro

5. Junho works out like crazy to get that bod so we know he got stamina

6. In my mind his taste is always towards older people. it may be through experience because he hangs out with his brother's friends since little and some of them he develop puppy crush on.

7. Endurance ain't all about who lasts long but also the ✨aftercare✨.among gihun's harem i see junho as the most attentive

i hard agree on all of this!!! 🙏🫶

i actually didn't know who i'd pick in the poll, but it'd def be one of the younger kids, maybe daeho since that marine training had to count for something, but you are so right abt junho! 💖😩

every workout video wi hajoon posts on insta is proof of his stamina djfnvfjdfnvj junho can hold out for loooooong time 👀

[the-magiarcheologist]

What happened to Mr. Morganach?

I want to try to do something a bit different today. I usually come in with some in-depth analysis of some details in the game. There is an element of speculation to everything I post but I usually try to stick as closely as possible to some canon events/elements found in the game to deliver an analysis that is as plausible as possible. And there will be in-depth analysis today too! We will be having a look at Isidora’s journal entries.

But I also have a theory. It’s perhaps a convincing theory or perhaps a completely crazy theory, hard for me to judge at this point because I’m so deep into it! So I want to try this: we’ll start with the analysis. All very reasonable and based on facts. And then we’ll plunge deep into the harebrained theory and I’ll see if you follow me or not.

Let’s go!

(Also, a warning if you’re planning on clicking that "read more" button: this is a loooooong post. So be sure you have some minutes to spare!)

The Analysis

Ok, so, we find 7 excerpts from Isidora’s journal throughout the game and, if we read them all together, they tell a pretty clear story of where she went and what she did after she graduated from Hogwarts and how she came to be able to take someone’s pain away.

First journal entry

We learn that she is at a camp treating people suffering from the bubonic plague. This, in and of itself, is fascinating because this gives us a glimpse of how things were before the Statute of Secrecy went into effect.

We don’t know exactly when Isidora lived but the Hogwarts Legacy Artbook tells us the Keepers lived during the Tudor period (1485-1603), which is in line with them being around close to the creation of Gringotts (in 1474). Anyway, this means Isidora most likely lived a century or more before 1692, when the Wizarding World broke off from the Muggle world. And we learn here that, back then, muggle doctors and witch healers worked together to heal those afflicted by the plague!

What’s also interesting in this entry is that Isidora seems more worried about the grief and mental pain these people may be experiencing than their physical ailments that can be healed. (Although we know healing these physical ailments is not as trivial as she makes it sound considering how many people died!) And here she first introduces her meeting with a man that reminds her of her father and that she wants to help get rid of his grief.

She also mentions "the others are wrong." This indicates, to me, that even back then she had already talked to the other Keepers (not just Percival) about her desire to take away people’s pain using ancient magic and they had already told her not to do it.

Second journal entry

This follows directly from the first note. She is further debating whether she should help people with their psychological pain or not.

It’s interesting here that she mentions "I travelled to learn" and also mentions some research that she is doing. Is this research the reason why she came to this camp? Is she even helping heal the patients at all (physically healing them from the plague I mean, not the taking-away-pain thing that she’ll attempt later)? Or is she just a passive observer (hence why she feels so frustrated about not doing anything)? And if so, what is she observing? For what purpose? Or is the research she mentions something completely different than what she initially came to learn at this camp? She could have more recently started to research the possibility to take away someone’s pain, after experiencing all the grief from the plague.

All interesting questions but not something we ever get any answers about and not the focus of this post. What I take away from this entry, mostly, is that we also learn that the man mentioned previously, the one who reminded her of her father, just left camp. So he’s not under the supervision of other doctors or healers anymore. She also directly mentions wanting to help him. This is important for what Isidora will do next.

Third journal entry

Now this is the pivotal entry! The first time Isidora ever attempts to remove someone’s pain.

Re-reading these journal entries after I first finished the game, I though this note described what happened with her father, how she lost control of the spell and how he came to be the empty husk we see in San Bakar’s memory. Reading the notes in order again after some time, it’s pretty clear that this is not about her father. We will see further evidence of that in future journal entries but considering that the order of the entries follows chronological events in Isidora’s life, this happened during her travels, before she came back to Hogwarts and before she healed her father.

I think it only takes a minimal amount of connecting the dots to understand that this is Isidora attempting the pain-removing spell on the man she met in the plague camp who reminded her of her father. He had just left camp, was completely alone and unsupervised. She likely followed him and, with or without his consent, attempted to heal him of his grief. Of course, we learn here that it completely failed.

It worked at first and she did remove his pain ("I recall feeling a sense of euphoria as I watched the pain vanish.") but then she lost control of the spell and lost consciousness ("But then everything started to turn." and "The world floated back to me as if in a watery haze. How long had I been unconscious?") The result is that she completely emptied the poor man of all this emotions and perhaps even more (his soul? his spirit?) ("I only remember his eyes. Empty. Empty of sorrow, yes, but also – "). The way she writes "I only remember his eyes" even implies the man could be dead because, if he was still alive in front of her, she would not need to remember his eyes, she would see his eyes. Or perhaps he just left while she was unconscious. Unclear. It could also imply the spell had an effect on Isidora’s own memories (as well as her emotions: "I recall feeling a sense of euphoria as I watched the pain vanish."), giving her some amnesia episode which makes it hard to recall what exactly happened after she performed the spell (hence why she also asks: "How long had I been unconscious?")

We also learn that Isidora’s head hurts. She immediately supposes it is because she hit her head when she fell unconscious but it is just a supposition on her hand ("I must have hit my head"). It’s also likely her head hurts because she just attempted dangerous and powerful magic and it had an effect on her as well as her patient. Hence why she can "neither feel nor see a mark" because she never actually hit her head, the pain is caused by something else. Also, an important detail that, in my mind, confirms that this happened while she was travelling helping plague patients: she worries that her headache could be the plague (the "Black Death"). She would only worry about that if she had recently been exposed to it, ergo if this journal entry was written when she was still working in that camp.

Also, last detail I want to note, she says: "The world floated back to me as if in a watery haze." I point this out because I have another post I’ve been meaning to write for some time now about ancient magic appearing as water. We see ancient magic appearing as blue water droplets floating around the Keepers wands whenever they use ancient magic. Whenever the MC activates an ancient magic hotspot, it appears like water surging out of the ground. And when the MC crosses one of the ancient magic portals it’s like they cross a very thin watery film with little droplets following in their wake. All of that is a topic for another post but I just note the use of that vocabulary by the writers here.

Fourth journal entry

This is where everything starts to make sense. She says she had a breakthrough and finally understood exactly how to remove people’s pain without emptying them of all emotions. The key is that one must not use too much power but instead be very delicate in the application of the magic. This, to me, further confirms that the man with the empty eyes in the previous journal entry is not her father. She lost control of the spell with that first man and then worked to understand what went wrong and how to control the spell properly. She is now able to remove "the merest whisper of pain from just above the heart" which is what we see her do in all of the Keeper’s memories, including the instance where she applied the spell to her father. This is what she does to Niamh and, likely, what she did to the Hogwarts student she dragged down to the repository cave. We don’t know what harm this does to the people it is used on but it certainly does not empty them of all emotions.

And speaking of unintended side-effects, it seems that this spell, even much better controlled, could still be having some effects on Isidora’s own emotions ("I sensed a surge of peace myself, as though I knew instantly that what I was doing was right.") Although it is hard to tell what is the spell and what is just Isidora. We know this research means a lot to her and she is certainly very emotionally invested in succeeding in this so these could be entirely natural emotions. And yet, considering the strange effect inhaling that haze has on her later on and how it turns MC’s eyes red at the very end of the game, we should not discount quite yet that the spell may be doing something to the caster themselves.

I want to also again note the specific vocabulary used in several journal entries to talk about what she is extracting. "Whispers of pain." Is this a metaphor or is she hearing literal whispers? Whenever we see this spell used in the Keepers’ memories we do hear actual whispers along with it so I’m inclined to take this literally. And do you know where else one can hear whispers? Near any ancient magic portal (conjured by Percival and Charles in their trials) or any ancient magic hotspot! And the whispers heard may very well be "whispers of pain". Near the ancient magic portal, I and several other people agree we can hear a voice say "Avada Kedavra", hardly a joyous thought. And if you pause next to an ancient magic hotspot before activating it, you can hear two voices (who sound like children’s voices to me) and one of them sounds very much like moans of pain.

So is the source of the ancient magic used by the Keepers and the one we find existing in the world "whispers of pain" like the ones that Isidora extracts? And yet, ancient magic existed and was used by the Keepers before Isidora ever invented her pain-removing spell! Indeed in the memory of the Keepers using ancient magic to save Feldcroft from the drought no whispers are heard. Percival confirms directly to Isidora that there are different kinds of ancient magic (because the magic she saw them wield was : "a particular kind of ancient magic", implying there are other kind, and when he first sees her pain-removing spell be performed he says that "the traces of that magic are different from what I’ve seen before"). So, perhaps, the magic used on Feldcroft is different than the magic found in the inter-dimensional portals and the ancient magic hotspots. And yet that leaves a pretty big gaping interrogation along the lines of: why were the Keepers using the "whispers of pain" kind of magic when creating their portals?! We will come back to that but keep that in mind because it’s pivotal information!

Fifth journal entry

This is where she finally healed her father. And this happened after she had mastered the spell to avoid any complete mind-wipe.

Not much to say about this because we see these events happen in the Keepers’ and her own memories. I do find it interesting that she says that Niamh seemed to understand what she was doing. We harldy see Niamh’s reaction either in Percival or in Isidora’s memory but, from what little we see of her face during these scenes, she looks more wary than interested. But ok.

Also, to note that all of that likely happened before Isidora started inhaling the "pain haze" that escapes when the spell is done.

Sixth journal entry

And here we have it: she started inhaling the pain-haze!

And we’re once again faced with this question: is the ancient magic affecting her emotions and thoughts or not? This "sense of purpose" that she mentions feeling, it’s hard to tell if this is an actual effect of the magic or if this is just Isidora’s hubris and her convincing herself, when faced with the opposition of the Keepers, that the magic itself is giving her signs that she is on the right path, in a sort of cognitive dissonance effect. This sentience she attributes to the magic, is it real or is she imagining it? I don’t think we ever get a clear answer to that question in the narrative.

All of that is made even more complex to disentangle by the fact that inhaling the pain-haze also makes her magic stronger. I think this effect is real and not just an illusion on Isidora’s part. We can explain that by the fact that she is absorbing a piece of someone else’s raw emotion and we know that strong emotions felt by the caster makes their magic stronger. We see that happen several times with Harry in the books. So, when she inhales these strands, Isidora stews in other people’s emotions and that lends her magic power (but also likely volatility).

And lastly, another little "vocabulary" section: often when she refers to the people she is helping, Isidora calls them "souls", even in some of her earlier journal entries ("number of souls I have been able to help" and "I have the power to help these souls" in her second entry). Does that mean that her pain-removing spell is acting on people’s souls? That would certainly explain why this magic is so dangerous and why the Keepers fear it so much. We know that splitting any part of one’s soul is extremely dark and complex magic (Horcruxes) so removing any part of someone’s soul must be equally so…

And also, does that mean that our emotions are part of our soul? The way Dementors work tends to confirm that.

Seventh journal entry

The most interesting tidbit in this entry might be that we learn that the Keepers were already calling themselves "Keepers" before Isidora died! This contradicts the explanation they give to the MC. Here is what Percival says in the last scene in the Map Chamber before opening the way to the repository:

"You see, we could not destroy the strands of emotion Isidora had stolen from so many. So we did all that we could to keep them safe. "We also realised that until they could be destroyed, the magic used to create them was a danger to wizardkind. "Hence, we became Keepers. Keepers of an unfathomable secret. We knew that – some day – one with the ability to see traces of ancient magic might be seduced by its power."

This strongly implies that they became Keepers after they realized Isidora’s stored strands of magic could not be destroyed, so after they discovered the repository.

This could be just a harmless simplification on Percival’s part. They could have become "Keepers" shortly before Isidora’s death, maybe after Niamh learned that she was continuing her experiments and using Goblin Silver to store that sort of evil, dangerous magic. But then, it’s strange that Isidora knew they called themselves Keepers. Surely they would not have told her that they were forming a super-secret alliance to move against her! Did Isidora find out anyway? How? This is just another one of these things that does not quite add up about what the Keepers tell the MC. I wonder if there is something else they are "keeping"? Another magic-related secret they’ve been keeping for a long time and that they, at first, asked Isidora to keep with them (hence why she knew about the name of "Keepers") before she broke away from them. Maybe they are just keeping the secret of how to wield ancient magic (because we know it can be wielded even by those who don’t see traces of magic, so, logically, there must be a way to teach it even when it does not come naturally like it does to Percival and the MC).

And this is also where Isidora mentions she left a trail to follow (much like the Keepers later did with the portkey). This trail must be the entrance to the Undercroft that lies under her house, the tryptich and canvas pieces, her memories and her portrait. I actually have a lot to say about the trail Isidora must have left behind (and how the Keepers must have actually "stolen" a part of that trail for their own purpose) but I’ll leave that for another post. Though I will still note here that it’s interesting that she had already left this trail behind very early on in her life. She says: "I confess I have begun to wonder if I will ever find another in my lifetime with whom I can share this work." And sure. But, by all accounts, Isidora still had plenty of time before her at that point in her life. Plenty of time still to teach others her pain-removing spell, plenty of time still to find a worthy successor. So why was she that worried that her knowledge would be lost? Why create a secret path to her research right now when her research had barely begun? Did she know she might soon be killed or silenced? Sure, the Keepers had made it pretty clear they were opposed to what she was doing but had they threatened her? Did she know something else that she knew she might be killed for? Isidora’s paranoia is all the more striking because she turned out to be right! She would not get to live much longer.

From San Bakar’s memory we know what must have happened shortly after she wrote this journal entry: her father was found, emptied of all of his emotions, in their cottage. The same night, Percival found out that Isidora had been removing pain from her students. This convinced the Keepers to confront her. Percival attacked first (an Expelliarmus on Isidora) and, when retaliating, Isidora hurt Niamh. San Bakar then decided to permanently neutralize her when it became apparent that she was too powerful and might overpower both Percival and Charles Rookwood. The end.

...But I haven’t even come to my theory!

Ok. Here goes.

The Theory

What happened that night

There is one thing in this whole chain of events, an especially in light of my re-reading of Isidora’s journal entries, that does not make any sense to me: why was her father emptied of all his emotions?

We’re given to think that Isidora did this. This is certainly what San Bakar thinks when he finds her father and hence why he runs to Percival to warn him. And yet, with everything we know about Isidora, her motivations and her journey, I don’t think she could have been the one wiping her father’s mind like that.

First of all, I don’t think she would ever do that intentionally. She cared about her father too much. She wanted to see him come back to life, not become even more apathetic than before! And even if we suppose that a) she had entered a state of madness and started loosing control of the pain removing spell or b) that she became so obsessed with ridding people of their pain that she considered that wiping their mind of all emotions was the ultimate act of salvation from any negative emotions, then why did she not wipe the mind of the student she dragged down to the repository that same day? She says she is healing her students of their pain, Percival says she is using her spell on them. And yet, that student was just fine when the Keepers found them. Why would she loose control/abuse of the spell on her father, the person she cares about the most, but not on her students?

The only reason I can think of why she would wipe his mind like this is if her father had somehow turned against her. If he has started telling everyone around him that the pain-removing spell was a bad idea, then, yeah, maybe she would want to silence him. But that’s a big "maybe". We know she loved her father and all that she did, she did for him. It’s pretty unlikely she would turn against him like this.

But there might be another explanation for what happened to her father...

Ok. This is where we really leave "analysis" territory and enter into "crazy theory" territory. None of what I’m about to say is strongly supported by canon events in the game. It’s just a theory I have and you can agree or disagree but hear me out: another ancient magic user attempted the pain-removing spell on Isidora’s father.

We know from Isidora’s journal (entry 4) that this is a very difficult spell to control. What happened to Isidora’s father (empty eyes, empty of sorrow but also everything else) is exactly what happened to the first man Isidora attempted the spell on. In other words: what happened to Mr. Morganach is the work of someone that is a novice in the practice of the pain-removing spell. It cannot be Isidora. She had mastered that spell a long time ago and would have been even more unlikely to slip up with her father, considering how much she cared about him.

In fact, we know that until the very end of her life, despite all other forms of madness she exhibited, she still had precise control over the spell because she used it on Niamh and on her students without wiping their minds.

If we accept that to be true – the fact that someone else was using (and abusing) the pain-removing spell – then the list of suspects is pretty short: we only know of 4 other people that were able to use ancient magic at the time.

I don’t think it’s Bakar since he seemed honestly shocked when he discovered Isidora’s father. Of course, he could have falsified that entire memory but I think falsifying memories is something really hard to do and would usually leave some traces. So let’s take him off the suspect list for now. That leaves the other 3 Keepers. And that’s when Percival starts looking really suspicious…

It’s pretty much implied that Percival was the one to send Bakar to check on Isidora in her home. When Bakar enters Percival’s office he just says: "Isidora was not at her home," implying that Percival already knew he had gone there to look for her. And if Bakar reports like this to Percival it makes sense that Percival was the one that asked him to go check. Percival then says: "I’ve just learned that she has been wielding that magic on students." How exatly he knew that is never explained. Finally, Bakar says: "We must gather the others." So Bakar and Rackham had been investigating Isidora on their own, the other two did not know yet that anything was wrong.

Of course, there is the "innocent" explanation: Percival was looking for Isidora, perhaps to talk to her, but could not find her. He sent Bakar looking for her in the most likely location for her to be: her home. Percival, in the mean time, might have been interrogating her student to know where she was/what happened and that’s how he discovered everything. They then gathered the others and confronted Isidora, killing her to stop her madness. It’s still unclear how they even found the repository, though, again, it could have been the student who told them where Isidora was taking them to remove their pain.

But, if we go by the hypothesis that another magic user had just mind-wiped Isidora’s father (accidentally or not) while Isidora was not at her home, the story starts to look quite different. So let’s contemplate another scenario: Percival, for as-of-now unknown reasons, finds himself experimenting with the pain-removing spell he told Isidora not to use (making him quite the hypocrite). He goes to test it on Isidora’s father, either with the explicit intention to hurt him (we will explore later on some reasons why he would have wanted to do that) or just because he knew the spell had already been used on him so if there were any bad side effects, Isidora’s father would have already been suffering from them making it less risky to use the spell on him again than on someone else not suffering from any side effects yet. The spell backfires because it’s a very difficult spell to control and it requires practice. Now Percival knows he is going to be found out. He knows that as soon as Isidora gets home she might realize what happened (because of her extensive experience with that spell) so he puts his plan into motion: he goes back to Hogwarts, tells San Bakar that Isidora has disappeared and that he needs to go to her home to see if she is there. He knows Bakar will find her father and immediately think Isidora did this to him because she is already known to experiment with dangerous spells.

By that point, Percival might have already known what Isidora was up to below the castle (but he had not stopped her because, secretly, he was actually interested in knowing more about the pain-manipulation magic, hence why he had already been experimenting with it himself). Or he does interrogate her student in an effort to find her so he can move against her when Bakar comes back. Either way, Bakar does come back horrified by what he saw, suspects nothing of Percival’s involvement and Percival enrolls him to convince Niamh and Charles of Isidora’s evil so they can all go kill or subdue the only one who could possibly have exposed Percival’s lies: Isidora herself! Isidora being dead, Percival’s crime against Mr. Morganach is covered up and he gets away with it!

Now... I see the sceptical eyebrows raised! You might think that this makes as little sense as Isidora herself harming her father. There is nothing to support that Percival would have wanted to use the pain-removing spell. And I agree with that. But I would like to bring up the repository that sits under Charles Rookwood’s castle. Because what the hell is a repository doing there?

The Rookwood Castle Repository

I have actually already had this discussion with @superconductivebean who had some compelling arguments to explain why Isidora might have put a first test-repository under Rookwood Castle. Charles Rookwood likely wasn’t living in that castle at the time (the castle was already a ruin when the Keepers came to Feldcroft during the drought and Charles calls it his "former residence"). Buried below an abandoned ruin actually seems like a pretty good place to hide a magic repository you don’t want anyone to find. So, ok, this repository was likely built by Isidora without the Keepers’ knowledge (just like the Hogwarts repository).

But, at some point, the Keepers (or at least Charles and Percival) did find out about it. By the time they are creating their trials and their portraits to communicate with a future ancient magic user, they know about it! Charles Rookwood, talking with the MC in the Map Chamber, with Percival present, says about Rookwood Castle:

"Not only is it the location of the next trial, it is home to a source of power that would be devastating in the wrong hands."

And here is why this raised all kinds of alarm bells for me: why is the repository not as well protected as the one under Hogwarts?

This repository is not buried nearly as deep as the Hogwarts one is! Hence why Ranrok found it relatively easily once he had a vague idea of where to search. We know the Keepers cannot destroy the repositories but surely they could have moved it to a more secure location? Say, under Hogwarts with the other well-guarded repository? And if they could not move it then surely they could have devised other strong protections for it! Why not post a few of those pensieve guardians around? Another locked door that only opens to the one wielding a very special ancient magic wand? When we find that repository open, there is nothing to suggest it was strongly protected. No broken down pensieve guardian statues, no obliterated doors. It seems that repository was only hidden by a few stone wall in the Rookwood Castle basement. Sure it’s somewhere behind the door that open with the magic runes thing but those runes are activated by any old spell. And it’s just a set of doors, just one layer of protection compared to the many layers they put to protect the Hogwarts repository. None of this makes any sense!

To make matters worse, as @superconductivebean pointed out in a recent post (yes this post is in Russian. No, I don’t speak Russian. But I would encourage anyone to bust out the online translators to read these analyses, they are always so in-depth!) they left this repository just by the path to Rookwood’s trial! Even if it had not already been busted open, the chance that the one going through the trial would stumble upon it was pretty high. Why would they take that risk? Before going through Rookwood’s trial, the person doing the trials knows nothing of this magic and why they should not use it. So putting them on the path of forbidden, highly volatile magic is just stupid! This goes against everything else they do to ensure this kind of magic does not fall into the wrong hands!

@superconductivebean suggested (in a last ditch attempt to explain this madness! 🤣) that they might have left this repository here to act as a beacon to lure someone able to feel magic to Rookwood Castle so that they could find the Portkey and be set on the path. That’s a possibility. But it’s a very reckless one! Because someone did stumble upon this badly protected repository and did use it for the wrong means: Ranrok! I just don’t understand them taking this kind of risk.

Unless… Rackham and Rookwood were doing some secret experiments of their own on the "whispers-of-pain" magic from the repository.

Maybe Rackham and Rookwood did not want to lock this repository away like the other one because they were actually interested in that kind of magic. They took the risk of leaving that repository accessible in order to study (or even possibly use) it.

(Although, even if they wanted the repository accessible to study it, they could still have made sure the path to their trial was away from where the repository was buried, say… on the other side of this massive castle! This is still an inconsistency.)

'Whispers-of-pain" magic

So let’s talk about the "whispers-of-pain" kind of ancient magic I brought up earlier! This "whispers-of-pain" magic must be closely related to Isidora’s pain-removing spell. It’s the same whispers we hear during Isidora’s spell and near portals and ancient magic hotspots. And yet the Keepers use it! They use the pain-whispering inter-dimentional portals in their trials. And the pain-whispering ancient magic hotspots, were left behind by the Keepers! Charles Rookwood straight up says that these hotspots are:

"Evidence of the Keepers' efforts to manipulate the power of ancient magic during our time."

Speaking of evidence, that’s a pretty damning one against the Keepers! First of all we learn that the Keepers were experimenting on "manipulat[ing] the power of ancient magic" (something that, by the way!, they directly caution the MC against doing at the end of the trials!) but they were not trying to manipulate the power of any kind of ancient magic, this one is specifically the "whispers-of-pain" kind! I don’t know how to record video from the game so I can’t link some evidence of it but, really, go stand above an ancient magic hotspot before activating it and listen. Tell me you don’t hear the whispers! What were they even doing experimenting with that kind of magic? And what kind of experiments were they doing that left traces centuries later?

There is a possibility that these experiments were them trying to see if they could destroy or weaken the magic left in the repository. But then, why does Charles not say so? And why are the traces of these experiments all over Hogwarts Valley and the Coast, i.e. far away from where the repositories are? And why are they encouraging the MC to go and absorb them? It still does not add up.

We know that the Keepers can wield another kind of ancient magic: the one they use when they save Feldcroft, or even the one they use when building pretty pillars, which is not followed by any creepy whispers. In fact, if they wanted to create inter-dimensional portals, couldn’t they use the "crystallized stone" kind of space-bending doors? Like the ones Isidora uses on the mirror as entries to the Undercroft? No creepy whispers around those, as far as I can hear!

So when did the Keepers start using the "whispers-of-pain" kind of ancient magic? And I say "Keepers" but, really, I mean Charles and Percival. I don’t think there is any clear evidence of Niamh or San using the "whispers-of-pain" magic. There are no inter-dimensional portals in their trials and they are not present yet in the Map Chamber when Rookwood explains what the ancient magic hotspots are so it’s unclear if they really know about those or what they are. It’s just Charles and Percival! Always just those two! At the center of everything that does not make sense about the Keeper’s path! The only two Keepers that for sure knew about the repository under Rookwood Castle. The only two we know for sure used the "whispers-of-pain" kind of ancient magic in their trial in the form of inter-dimensional portals. And the only two Keepers that were present at the very end when finalizing the path for the MC to follow by hiding the container and leaving their memory in the Gringotts pensieve. Why were Niamh and San not present that day? Why always just those two?

And to all of this evidence, your honor!, I add even more!

Isidora's warning

Isidora wrote "Percival is hiding something" on the boards of the Undercroft.

Did she know that Percival was looking into the pain-removing magic he had forbidden her to use? Was Percival doing some other secret ancient magic experiments unbeknownst to the other Keepers?

Remember Isidora’s paranoia in her seventh journal entry? Her leaving a trail to follow, a path for others to learn as if her days were counted and she soon would be unable to pass on her knowledge herself? Well that would certainly explain that! If she knew some dangerous secret about Percival she might have feared that he would discover that she knew and come after her. Percival might even have mind-wiped her father as a way to plant evidence against her, and to give the other Keepers a strong enough motivation to move against her with him.

And, lastly, I bring to the stand: Niamh!

Niamh's warning

It always struck me that Niamh’s lesson during her trials applied just as much to the Keepers as it applied to Isidora. She says:

"But there is no light without shadow as there is no shadow without light. Simply because you can eliminate darkness does not always mean that you should."

Of course, we all understand how it applies to Isidora: she saw people suffering and sought to remove that pain (i.e., darkness) but did not anticipate the consequences of that. Because, as one of the writers for HL puts it: "If you take someone’s pain away, what do they feel? Can you really feel happy, then?" I think this is what we are supposed to take away from Niamh’s trial, as a first reading.

And yet, Niamh’s lesson also applies to what the Keepers did! There is no denying that ancient magic can be used for good, we see as much when the Keepers save Feldcroft from the drought using ancient magic. But when they saw ancient magic used for evil (i.e., Isidora using it to remove people’s pain without their consent, something that might be volatile soul-magic and that they think will have bad consequences and should not be done), what is their reaction? To take away ancient magic altogether! To seal it away, never to be used again by anyone! They removed the darkness entirely. But, as Niamh explains, without it the light (as in: the good that ancient magic can do) dissapears too! In that respect, in the context of the narrative of HL, Niamh’s lesson applies more strongly to the Keepers’ actions than to Isidora’s because we do not actually see any "light" that Isidora’s action has taken away. It is implied several times that taking someone’s pain away could have negative consequences but we are never shown these consequences. (The only negative effect we see is Isidora’s father’s complete mind-wipe but, in my theory, this did not actually happen because of Isidora’s actions). We are, however, clearly shown the consequence of ancient magic disappearing from the world because we have clear exemples of the good it could do (saving a village from a drought or all the protection charms that Hogwarts offers).

But what does any of that have to do with my theory? Niamh also says during her trial: "nothing is what it seems". She even says this two times! Once at the very beginning of her trial and once at the end when we are walking through the mourners before we get to her tomb. And, as I’ve already explained in that post, I don’t get what she means by this because her trial is actually pretty straightforward. There’s nothing hidden. There’s no plot twist or huge revelation. But what if she was trying to warn the MC about the Keepers (specifically Percival and Charles)? What if she had realized, at the end of her life, that Percival and Charles were hiding something? Or what if she disagreed with their decision to seal ancient magic away entirely and suspected they had hidden motives to do that? (Such as keeping all the power of ancient magic, including the "whisper-of-pain" magic, to themselves?) She might have been afraid to go against Percival and Charles herself (especially if she knew they had been playing around with repository-magic from the secret repository under Rookwood Castle and were therefore more powerful than her) so she instead tried to sneak a warning to the next person coming along with the ability to wield ancient magic, to encourage them to not take everything at face value and to not blindly trust what Percival and Charles were telling them.

(And if I add to all of this my theory that Niamh is a time-traveler, I argue that she could have come back in the future (after Percival and Charles had already died and could not interfere with her actions anymore) and actually modified her trial to include this warning to the MC.)

Concluding remarks

Okay. So, that was a lot I just unloaded here. Let’s take a step back a little bit. My theory is, of course, not the only explanation for what happened to Isidora’s father.

There is a possibility that Isidora’s spell does not immediately empty people of emotions but that it happens over time. Maybe the spell opens something, creates some kind of leak and they progressively loose themselves. Her father is the first person we see her use the spell on and maybe that’s why he is the first one to get the empty eyes. Perhaps Niamh ended up just like him after some time. Isidora may have hid what was happening to her father and she was already too far in to walk back or admit that she was wrong, even after realizing her spell was not working and basically killing those she wanted to help. It could explain why she gave into the madness towards the end. But that would mean that all the students she used the spell on also ended up completely empty of emotions. Surely, if a bunch of Hogwarts students ended up as soul-less husks as a result of Isidora’s actions we would have heard about it? The Keepers would mention it, if only to even more strongly illustrate the danger of Isidora’s spell. Or someone would remember that episode form Hogwarts' history.

It’s also possible that, even when well controlled, the pain-removing spell, when used too often, would still end up wiping someone’s mind. Isidora, seing that her father was not getting better even after she removed his pain (because what could her father feel once his pain was taken away? how to fill the emotional void of all the years he spent in deep depression?) just used the spell again and again, hoping each time for a different result, until it was too much, her father was completely gone and she succumbed to madness. But I wonder then why the writers did not explicitely state that this is what happened. This could have added to the emotional weight of Isidora’s tragic story. Why leave the whole thing so vague?

And even if we find an alternative explanation for Isidora’s father’s fate, that still leaves open all the other questions I brought up: the unprotected repository under Rookwood Castle, the whispers of pain heard in the Keepers’ magic, Isidora’s inscription, Niamh’s cryptic warnings.

But, I’m sure many of you will have other ideas about what could have happened and how to resolve all these little mysteries! So please do come and argue with me!

Tl;dr because that was a very long post: I argue that Isidora couldn’t have been the one to mind-wipe her father. She had already experienced loosing her grasp on the pain-removing spell and completely wiping someone’s mind and she had found how to avoid such a consequence and I find it unlikely that she would have relapsed like this, especially with someone like her father that she very much cared about. So I argue that another person who could wield ancient magic wiped Isidora’s father’s mind through a badly executed pain-removing spell and the one who had the strongest motive to do so is none other than Percival Rackham!

[peripecias-i]

So, I'm not one to write long things on here, I'm normally commenting on posts and such. However, I've seen so much bitterness under tlovm tag (not even the criticism one) so, lets start with a DISCLAIMER: I DO have my criticims, not the post for those. So, without further ado, in this post we have - The bard didn't lament, Vax and the necrotic thingy, Cabal's Ruin is drowing just like to hope of some.

BARD'S LAMENT (BL), Tary. Yes, we had hints and the build up, however, Scanlan didn't made his promisse to Kailey, he didn't die and was not resurected in a humiliating way in front of said daugher which was the biggest part of BL for me. We can still hit the feels of it in season 4. After an year with Kailey, Scanlan is changed, he even sent a letter to Pike about it. Of course when he comes back to VM he feels the same to the group, he doesn't need to show this to them he knows his place and importance in the group, but deep down he knows and his daughter knows and that is what matters. He dies, when he comes back he is half naked, dirty in sexual innuendo food, in front of the one person he changed for, everything he's built, in his eyes, tainted and destroyed. BL with some ajusted lines, Terry is in and then gone because Vax is dead and Vecna is THE problem, not A problem anymore.

VAX, the necrotic diseased. Audiences need hints for things, CR does not have 100 hours to process and justify decisions and things that happens in the campains. IF in the animated series Revenant Vax came with that big of a consequence without a warning, can you imagine? Raven Queen warned Vax and he chose to break the rules of death itself. It's a consequece to show future consequences. I don't think is a disease that will spread, i think it's a mark, something to always remember (I might be wrong). It's something for Vax and us to understand what meddling with those forces do. It's a different medium guys, this need to be clearly and hiddenly forshadowed enough to work, if it's to clear or to hidden, the a-ha moment will never be satisfying. Vex will feel guilty about it? OF COURSE, she still dislikes the RQ to this day, she started the moment she realized his death meant their destinys were intertwined and she lost her brother to his choices. She can't blame Vax, she has to blame someone. And when Vax's destiny and choices on death will never be his blame it'll be HERS.

Cabal's Ruin is under the sea (and we have a druid). Percy was dead for the dragon's fight (Glintshore will come in a next post) no need for it for now. The twins know where it is, mythcarver can find it. We have a druid who needs to master water, and a vestige under water, what a fun combination! It was a mistake calling the episode Cloak and Dagger and not Glitshore, 'cause let's be true, there was no cloak, no dagger and no vengence. They will get the cloak. Percy will absorb the damn Meteor Sworm.

3.5 Maybe part Glitshore came earlier than I tought. But looking at our Percy, and how he forgave people but never himself, how this, leting go of vengence makes him suffer consequences but even so he chooses it because the more he does, maybe he will get to the point he can forgive himself? He screaming to be free and found, but at the same moment not feeling worthy of being saved? Urgh

So, we still have: Glintshore; Kash perma-death; The Bland Uninspired COWRDLY end of ep 12, Call me child one more time, and more that I can maybe came upon.

Hope you guys comment with all kinds of opinions 'cause I love this kind of interaction (please coment!) . Also, I have not seen the campain in a loooooong time and I might (probably will) bite my words when the MN adaptation arrives they are MY people, but, I don't like being bitter, so maybe not.

[edelgarfield]

okay actually putting all the CR3 stuff aside to talk about Vax. for the record I haven't seen TLOVM and this is purely concerning Vax in CR1, and will completely spoil the end of the show.

I love Vax. He was always one of my favorites & I love Liam as a player.

He also fucking infuriates me & I think is the perfect example of a "Selfish Sacrificial Hero Archetype." I don't hold Vax fully accountable bc I think this can be partially attributed to Liam's playstyle & how Liam views the game. But I also know IRL Liam was going through a very hard period of his life and not to be parasocial I think some of Vax's behavior absolutely reflects that.

Vax's Achilles heel was his willingness to throw himself on any sword he can find to save the people he loves. Which seems noble on the surface, except he repeatedly puts himself on the chopping block when there is absolutely no need to. One of the most pivotal moments in his arc, the thing that set him up to become the Raven Queen's champion, was a deal that NO ONE ASKED HIM TO MAKE. He literally offers himself in Vex's place when there was no need to do that. When that is an incredibly selfish choice to make.

Imagine if the Raven Queen HAD taken Vax's life in exchange, which was his original intent in the first place. Do you think Vex would have been happy with that? Fuck no. It's this constant prioritization of his friends at the expense of his own life, in DIRECT OPPOSITION to his friends' wishes. Vax is not saving his friends for their benefit, he's saving ("saving”) his friends bc HE can't live without them & I think there's a huge difference between those two. IMO he ultimately Does Not Care that his friends love him & that they'll grieve him if he were to die in their place, he only cares about HIS grief and HIS guilt. It's selfishness masquerading as love.

We don't know what would have happened if Vax hadn't become the Raven Queen's champion bc he never once tried or considered getting out of the shitty deal he made for no reason. Don't get me wrong, I think it's fitting & tragic & it's a story about believing so wholly that you have no future that you make it come true. (again putting all the CR3 stuff aside) And I do think he found some happiness & peace in being her champion, but I also think a lot of the Raven Queen's beliefs confirmed & enabled the self-destructive behavior that Vax exhibited long before she was on his radar.

Personally, I don't know if Vax ever fully believed or committed to living a happy life with Keyleth. Or even if Vax did, I don't think LIAM ever did. I think Vax/Liam were always attached to the idea of dying a tragic heroic death and that's ultimately what led Vax to walking into his own demise at the expense of everyone that loves him. Vex & Keyleth were able to accept his death & live on, but I don't think Vax could have ever done the same & that KILLS me.

I know I'm being harsh. But I watched this happen in real time, over the course of years, hoping & hoping that somehow, some way Vax would get his happy ending, watching my favorite character, Keyleth, mourn their relationship LONG before it ended, seeing what it did to her & everyone else to love someone who was so, so, SO willing to die for them but never once tried living for them. IMO there were a thousand different off-ramps that Vax could have taken to avoid what happened to him & he ignored every single one. And LIVING through that grief & dread & anger completely changed how I view heroes & self-sacrifice & self-destruction.

I adore Vax, he will always be one of my favorites, but part of me will never forgive him for gracefully & peacefully accepting his death loooooong before he died instead of fighting tooth & nail for a life with the people who would suffer if he were gone thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[acutabovetherest]

Fucked up loooooong internal dialogue and stream of consciousness ahead. Good chance I’ll delete later 😅

I want to die I want to die I want to die

I can’t do it to my sister I can’t do it

*Reaccepts that I am going to do it*

How could you do this to her you are best friends and she’s pregnant this will destroy her you are a horrible person for planning this. Just keep holding on longer so that you delay her pain. Not to mention many other loved ones who care about you and what it will do to them. Try to gift them more days

*resolves to try to stay longer*

But I can’t do this I can’t take the pain anymore I am actively suffering and life just has more of that pain and suffering and heartbreak and soul crushing despair withheld for me. I have to be selfish and put myself out of my misery I can’t keep praying I’ll die in my sleep or that something takes me out. It feels intolerable to continue living from the physical and mental pain. I can’t keep fantasizing that someone else will pity me and euthanize me. I have to let go of the dream of my best friend, now deceased, holding me while I die. I have to accept dying alone and bear the burden of the guilt fitting the crime and take care of myself. I can’t keep doing this.

*goes back to working on post Mortem arrangements- so it’s less work for loved ones*

You are not a good person

But I’m going to try to leave behind a legacy of love and encouraging people to care about equal rights. I want to share love and make paintings for people I appreciate. And try to be more honest about the pain I’m in so other people feel seen in their own. Also I don’t think other people who die by their own hands are bad people. We always hold ourselves to higher standards than other people.

K well if you were alive you could provide ongoing support

I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too goddamned much please I’m actively suffering and begging to die on a regular basis please I just want to die

Pragmatically you should choose the good of the many over the good of the one. Sucks that you have to be one to choose your suffering over theirs. But you know you shouldn’t hurt them.

They. Don’t. Have. To. Live. My. Life. Or. Be. Haunted. By. Everything. That. Has. Happened. Not everyone is strong. I have been hanging for a really fucking long time and I am tired. I am not strong enough to go on for much longer. Whether it’s 3 weeks or 3 months or 3 years it’s not a question of if but only when. Why cause myself to suffer more?

To delay the grief of your loved ones. You literally still have pleasant experiences in life why isn’t that enough for you?

I’m fucking trying but I really am considering sooner than later. I appreciate the good times so much I really really do, however I am weary in life. I’m ready to go. The pain unfortunately still outweighs the beautiful moments. I want to be strong enough to stay I really want to be. But I’m not.

You thought you were good for your friends? You are actually shit for letting them get attached to you then leaving them. Way to go you made a lot of genuine connections now they can all be hurt by your death. Being friends with you is its own rollercoaster ride in itself, the ones who know youre going to catch the bus but they don’t know when and you’re constantly and consistently for years going on about how much you wanna die and off yourself. Pathetic

I’ll do what I can to make the very shitty act less shitty for them. And I will hang my head in guilt at the thought of it. I’m so thankful for death, whenever it may come. And I don’t think people who share about wanting to die are pathetic at all. I think they’re strong

You are shitty for hurting your loved ones like this

I have to accept this so I can gather the courage to do what needs to be done

You suck

Yeah

[thelorddidnotsavetheirsouls]

The lord did not save their souls

The DSAF ??AU?? comic I, @therussiancourier, started doing out of boredom last winter. No serious lore, dialog, or characters: just a russian dude and his god awful ms paint skills. The translation might be wacky because it was never intended to be translated in the first place, as it was written in a mixture of Russian and English without any grammar. In the moment of writing this (10th of February, 2024) there are 513 frames, 4 finished chapters and one in progress. end my sufferings I suppose I will add a tag for the AU because why not?????? TLDNSTS??? too loooooong. LDSTS might be better??????? i'll think about it

The comic is frozen for an indefinite amount of time. I've lost my interest in DSAF just how it always happens. Oops!

[viperra1]

I got questions I got questions about vulture a lotta questions! 3, 4, 6, 7, 18, 25, 37, 39

i took so long to answer oh my god sorry!!!!! here it is!!

3. What is their SPECIAL?

Answered here!! <3

4. What perks or tagged skills do they have?

Tagged skills: Speech, Survival

Perks: Terrifying Presence, Animal Friend and Sniper

6. Were they born pre-war or post-war?

Vulture was born post-war, and is close to Boone's and Veronica's age!

Though, there's no trace of his date of birth in his diary and his memory never returns to him, so he doesn't know how old he is. He only knows that he wasn't a ghoul before the Divide, and he knows his approximate age thanks to Ulysses' observation of his pre-Divide self.

7. Do they wish they lived before the war / could go back to life before the war?

Oh yesss, for sure.

It intrigues him, and he would certainly bug Raul and every other pre-war ghoul about that era.

Still, I doubt that Vulture would love the real life before the war (not the one that's just his impression of it), or that he would wish for it for more that few seconds of lazy daydreaming.

Even in those few seconds that he would wish to live before the war, he would probably think about it more like: "Man, I wish I lived before the war, it would've been so cool to not be ghoulified. Right?"

18. Do they have any disabilities, mutations, or implants / enhancements? Do they have any chronic illnesses?

*prepares a list*

So.

He's a ghoul and a Marked One. His skin was literally torn off from his body by radioactive winds. His flesh is slowly decaying and degrading. His left side suffered so much damage during the atom blast that his left eye is about to pop out of it's socket because his eyelids are literally too weak and rotten to hold it.

Y-yeahhhhh...... Even though he probably restored an extremely thin layer of his skin somewhere along New Vegas storyline, his eye will need to be removed. And he's probably suffering from chronic tendonitis or something along the likes of it because of the degrading flesh from ghoulification.

And yes, he has implants in his spine (Old World Blues) and the implants on intelligence, endurance, perception and strength from Dr. Usanagi.

The perception implant, I believe, would be a direct eye and an eyelid implants to replace Vulture's bad eye.

25. Are they quick to trust others?

I'd say yes, but probably not.

Let me elaborate!

Vulture is quick to make you think he trusts you - he's gonna show you his vulnerable side, he's gonna go belly up for you in terms of the rules of the survival in the Mojave.

He's gonna trust a complete stranger with his things and his food and his life, but oh! What's that? Show you his skin without the disguise? Nope. Even Boone saw his truly vulnerable parts just by accident, and even then Vulture took his time to open up to him enough to show it on his own much, much later.

He trusts his fears and insecurities only to his companions and close friends (which are few), but yeah, he doesn't give off the impression of a closed up person. He's quick to open, just not in the way that truly matters lol :D

If it's important, then he's gonna think for a loooooong time before trusting someone.

37. What is the worst injury they have experienced?

If we are not counting The Incidents that were the Divide and the Benny Disaster (and we're not), Vulture was gravelly injured only once.

Sure, he's constantly nursing broken bones and concussions, but it wasn't ever that serious as this.

I won't spoil when exactly it happened, but a Legionary almost gutted Vulture, stabbing him in the torso multiple times with a poisoned blade. That was NOT a fun experience, Vulture almost died, and would have, if not for Boone's quick thinking with stimpacks and healing poiltice AND radiation treatment from a nearby medic.

Vulture hates being healed by radiation because of the rumour that it might turn even sentient ghouls feral, but he certainly would have died from that injury if he were a baseline human (even with the other treatments that he received, only his ghoulish healing factor saved his life).

And the crowd goes... yay?

39. What is their favorite song?

Something's Gotta Give!!!

It's a song that reminds Vulture of his and Boone's relationships, so he listens to it religiously every time it comes up. Tbh, he was in love with that song even before he met Boone.

"That Domino guy is such a prick. How the fuck he managed to create a song as good as this one???", Vulture would say about that song. He has huge beef with Dean after Sierra Madre, but well oh well, a good song never dies in Vulture's loyal heart.

Btw, I made an animatic with this song :) It was just such a good fit for them that in the end I couldn't resist lol

[secret-sector-antag]

🦇⚔ Dhampir Hunter V ⚔🦇

Intros/Profiles Part 3/?: Veni, vidi, dictavi [Potential CW for mentions of death and the following grief, as well as brief (albeit fictional) political stuff. Nothing overly detailed/gory, but just in case]

"Ingannamorte" Surname of Italian origin. Translates to "deciever of death" ("inganna"= "to decieve"/"decieves", and "morte"="death".) A rather fitting name for a creature of the night...

The Ingannamortes of Schprekenheim, at least loooooong ago, were the absolute rulers of the land. Being a subtype of vampire known in the area as StrigOwie, they lived up to their name: bring about immense suffering and misery, feeding off of it, and continuing the family name for generations to come.

However, despite the threats of torture, exile, and/or annihilation for any sort of political dissidence, the peasants of the land began to band together and fight back. After several attempts at a coup, the family have since fallen to a more underground, "figure-head"-like status. 

The then-current heads, Havaska and Polaris Ingannamorte, had a full plate on their hands: keeping the power of the family flowing throughout the land (but with a less...heavy-handed approach), other standard royal duties...and now, bringing up the next heir: Syberia (pronounced "Sĭh-Bĕ-reeyah").

For a while, things were actually...relatively okay. Syberia was growing into her role of one day becoming the head of the family...but as she began to learn about her family and the absolute power that they used to hold. She wanted a piece of that pie; none of this "figureheads-who-stand-in-the-background" business. And she was vocal about it. As she grew and had more of a hand in things, she became louder and louder- despite her parents doing what they could to try and quell that fervor.

Then disaster struck.

Havaska, mother to the latest heir of the Ingannamortes, had been murdered. While the "heat" between the royal vampire family and the peasants had disspated quite a bit over the years, a small extremist group wanted to make their mark...by doing what the several coup attempts back then couldn't: getting rid of the vampirs for good. While the group was quashed incredibly quickly (c'mon, you're fighting against vampires; and it wasn't like these guys were professional hunters), the toll it took on the remaining two Ingannamortes. While they grieved, Syberia saw this as an opportunity for them to bring that "iron-fistedness" back into play...but Polaris, her poor old Papa, was heartbroken. No matter how much she tried to convince him, he would not go all scorched earth and bring the entirety of Schprekenheim to heel. This, of course, led to increased tension in the already emotionally-bedraggled household.

...Then a little bit of light entered back into their lives...or, at the very least, Polaris's. A peseant woman known as Cerealia, who had brought it upon herself to continue to plant flowers on the deceased queen's grave, as well as keep the area surrounding area looking nice, was spotted by Polaris. Initially, he was a bit testy (how dare some...some commoner intrude on his land!), but seeing what she was doing, the ice that had come to surround his heart began to slowly melt. For the first time since he lost his wife, he had begun to feel...happy. Syberia, being Syberia, was suspicious. Who was this plebian, and what did her Dad see in her?! She was trying to usurp the throne, she just knew it!!

This, of course, wasn't true. Cerealia had no hidden intentions and genuinely cared about the forlorn king. Though one could argue that this took place very quickly, Polaris and Cerealia were soon married. And eventually, they welcomed another child into the kingdom.

Syberia was furious. Okay, yes, she was still the next in line to rule, but who the hell was this...this half-blood to come in and usurp what was supposed to be her time with her dad?! She wasn't acknowledging that peseant woman as family- even if she now bore the royal last name. But of course, under the treat of being sent away to the lower part of Schprekenheim to live out her life (or at least until she calmed the eff down and worked out her rage and resentment) in, potentially, a tall tower all by herself (almost like a "grounded for life" kind of scenario), Syberia let that hatred simmer. And simmer. And simmer. With her sister, that hatred did occasionally manifest as the standard acts of sibling rivalry, but her..."stepmother", eugh... was understanding, having been one of several siblings herself. However, even with the assurance that both kids were loved equally, it didn't mean she went unpunished for acting the way she did sometimes.

Things were going okay, it looked like.

Until they weren't.

Polaris and Cerealia had mysteriously perished on a trip to another village, as a show of goodwill. Some say that Syberia had a hand in it, but no one can be 100% certain...especially now since she's taken on the role as the head of the Ingannamorte family and will silence anyone who questions her. Playing to the public, she uses the death of her parents as her "reasoning" for bringing back the harshness that the family was once known for long, long ago.

Schprekenheim has been under her dark rule for who knows how long, and S.C.A.R.E. seeks to bring her and her army of monsterous creatures of the night down- to restore some semblence of peace to the region.

Can they do it?

Will she bring the band of freedom fighters to heel and recruit them to her undead army?

And more importantly...where's this sister of hers? She wasn't with the then-king and queen on their trip...she seems to have mysteriously vanished...

----------------------------------------- Syberia Ingannamorte Voice Claim: Eden Riegel

Codenamed "Nightside" by the organization, she is a fierce vampire that has plunged the region into darkness and misery. She is a manipulative creature that will stop at nothing to keep the iron grip she has on the area from loosening. With the passing of her parents and now as the official head of the Ingannamortes, there's nothing getting in her way to stop her....or so she thinks.

But of course, what is a queen without a bit of help?

"Faust" Voice Claim: Steve Valentine

Codenamed "Phantomblade" by the organization, Not a lot is known about this kid. It was shortly after Syberia's parents' passing and the disapperance of her sister that he came into the picture.

Acting as the confidant to the new ruler, 'Faust' does what he can to maintain order and acts as a "one man band"- directing creature hordes to deter any do-gooders, directing who keeps watch over the Ingannamorte hold, acting as Syberia's bodyguard and informant, among other roles. In short, Faust would give his life to save Syberia. ...He...doesn't exactly have the choice to not. At least, not anymore. That half-face burn (covered by the half-face mask) had to come from somewhere after all...

[hows-my-handwriting]

Into the Rift (spiderverse!pacific rim au)

so going into more detail because the actual drawings are coming along really slowly xD (i love drawing robots but coming up with original robot design hard)

The story would be essentially the same as the movies where a mysterious rift opens up in the bottom of the Pacific ocean releasing giant monsters. To combat them, the world governments join together for the good of humanity and create the Jaegers. Those are giant robots piloted by two people through a process called a 'drift'.

The only thing that changes is the characters and the story developed from that idea.

this post has been sitting in my drafts for like a month now oml

(loooooong wordvomit under the cut)

So the jaeger program is basically a stand in for the spider society and all the spiderfolk are pilots or staff. Everyone is also aged up 2 or 3 years to cover international military requirements and such.

and for the sake of the story having a 'pilot shortage' in which only the lucky few being able to actually pilot a jaeger, drifting is much harder and rarer. this leads to the program accepting younger applicants than they normally would. (eg. miles, pav, peni etc)

(character list in order of rank or.. something)

Miguel (34-35) is the stand in for the marshal. I'm not totally sure if he *is* the marshal or not? because he could absolutely just be the pilot manager or the mission overseer. but for now we shall stick with marshal. He primarily serves as the head of the department and representative for the pilot body. He also doubles as a pilot of a gen 1 jaeger (Blue Revenge*) with Peter B Parker, previously Jessica Drew.

Jessica (34-35) is Miguel's ex copilot. She served for two years and during a faux time of inactivity from the rift, she and her husband decided to try for a child. She was called back during the next attack but in the post-fight medical checks, she was ordered to go on maternity leave. She did, for a couple months, but very quickly felt frustrated that she wasn't helping. She moved back into the military base and instead took up a leadership position in combat training. I think her rank would be lieutenant but I don't know enough about the military to make that official.

Peter B Parker (42-43) is a retired pilot. He served as a pilot up until the gen 3 jaegers went into production and was sent home when he got a major back injury. During his time off he started a family in his old New York home and began to forget about the jaegers and the war. He chose to live in ignorant bliss until it all came back when he was summoned back. He brought his entire family, despite the many warnings, and has rather enjoyed his grand return. Currently copilots with Miguel in the Revenge*. Previously piloted the Crimson Core*.

Ben Reilly (24-25) is a jet pilot. Previously a jaeger pilot of the Scarlet Gutter that was decommissioned after it suffered extreme damage in a fight he took solo with a class 2 kaiju. His twin brother was his copilot and died early on in the fight. He currently pilots a fighter jet as backup. The impact of that fight still haunt him and everyone knows to leave him be.

LEGO Spiderman (24-25) and Peter Parkedcar (25-26) are two unrelated pilots that are drift compatible. LEGO Spiderman (Lee Godwin aka LE-GO for short) has a chronic condition with locking joints and Peter Parkedcar is a selective mute. They pilot the Titanium Wall that is essentially just an immovable object to the kaiju's unstoppable force. Yes this is a meme lineup. Laugh.

Peter Porker (31-32) is the head of research. He's john mulaney in all aspects except for occupation. He is more of the morale backbone of the entire operation and spends more time out of the lab making sure to bring a smile to everyone's faces. He wears a cute pig beanie when out and about. He always has candy on him and is famous in the kitchen for hot dogs. No one knows where he gets the hot dogs from, since those are rarely stocked. There's a rumor going around that it's kaiju meat, not beef. Absolutely fascinated kaiju and a biology fanatic.

Margo Kess (20-21) is the head of technology. She's the surveillance guy who takes orders directly from Miguel and is in charge of relaying commands and judging actions on the battlefield. She's a young college graduate- more accurately a child prodigy- and took the first opportunity she had to put her skills to the test. She's very friendly and will always get to know the pilots personally. Drift compatible but has avoided training to not have people learn about her strained home life.

Peni Parker (17-19) is the daughter of the head of engineering. She is just under the required age to actually assume the position but has the most knowledge on jaeger design of anyone else in the program aside from her father. Her father was killed when one of the outposts was destroyed in a kaiju attack. Parentless, the organization arranged for her to stay at the main base, waiting for her 21st birthday so she can acquire an actual rank. Had a personalized jaeger her father had been slowly building, fit for one person, that she's slowly been working on to one day pilot in combat.

Peter Benjamin Parker (Benji or Ben for short) (22-23) was hired as the strategy lead after his impressive work as a police/military investigator. Had a lot of experience with international crime networks and hand picked by Peter B. He was enthusiastically handed over to the Jaeger program after he got just a bit too close to some apocalypse-profiting corruption. No one really knows why, but he's taken more of a liking to pilot training and has shied away from Miguel's leadership team and more towards Jessica and the recruits. He has a good eye for cadets with amazing potential and even applied to be a pilot himself, stepping away almost entirely from any kind of leadership role. Pilots Silver Noir with Hobie(**).

Hobie Brown (20-22) is a pilot. He was recruited early on as one of Britain's undesirables and turned out drift compatible. He was assigned a jaeger that was built and sponsored by the British Government named the Union Jack. Disgusted, he refused to respond to that name and instead calls his jaeger the Stark Screamer. The name has been adopted by command and no one has bothered to correct it. His pilot quit for unknown reasons after only a year on the field and the Screamer was retired until they can find another pilot to partner with him. Has been paired with Benji for the time being.

Gwen Stacy (18-19) is the youngest pilot to date but more than capable of jaeger combat. She was brought in by Jess, despite her father's refusal, and skipped all cadet training except for the essentials and given a jaeger assignment almost immediately. She was picked out when her father, a military rep instead of a cop, was visiting one of the bases that Jess happened to be in. She showed incredible potential in [insert event that im not 100% sure about yet] and was incredibly interested. Originally paired with Hobie because of their similarity in hobby and age. They were drift compatible but she didn't like the Screamer's kit or fighting style and requested a new assignment. She's still best bros with Hobie though. She marks the beginning of the youth recruitment.

Pavitr Prabhakar (17-18) is a cadet in training. He volunteered along with a large number of Indian civilians to chase the fame and glory that surrounded the now-martyred jaegers. Of the hundreds, he and a handful of his peers were selected and he was sent to his specific branch to complete training. He is drift compatible with almost anyone. Having no sense of fear or darkness in his past or his present, he's an incredible asset- if not a little naive. He and Hobie became best friends as soon as they met and has been promised to pilot the Screamer when he completes his training.

Miles Gonzalo Morales (17-18) is a new cadet starting training. He was supposed to be one in a pair but his twin was stuck in Spain with a travel complication. Miles could wait a couple months though and eagerly started training. He was selected because he had an identical twin- which are usually assumed to be drift compatible- but ended up being paired and drift compatible with Gwen. Despite him not having clearance, Gwen and many others think he shows enough potential to pilot a jaeger within the first month of his stay. He is currently assigned to a new jaeger in production: a gen 4 titan named the Clawed Viper***

Mateo Davis Morales (17-18) is a future cadet. He and his twin were split up before highschool for [insert reason i haven't figured out yet here] and he moved to Spain to finish his highschool education and eventually enlist in the jaeger program. However, due to transportation delays and possibly finances, when he and his twin were drafted, Mateo was stuck in Spain until nearly three months later. Just in time for . . . well, the drama (tm).

*Blue Revenge is not final. i don't know if i like it or not but the other option was the blue panther, for the shits and giggles. pretty sure i want to keep the blue but idk. Crimson Core is also a placeholder, but it does sound cooler

**Silver Noir is not final. I want to work in Noir somewhere and make a matte black jaeger but not a lot of words go with 'Noir'

***Clawed Viper is not final. Viper is final, but again, not a lot of words go with 'Viper'

[maleficore]

Saw someone else do it and I think I've done this before too, but the list has grown since then a bit so here's my current lineup of read dead wips that I'm working on!! :D Minus the stuff that's already posted on AO3 cuz I see no point in doing a synopsis for things that have left my google drive and you can go and read ahah.

Turned out loooooong so lookie under the cut if you're interested in knowing what I'm up to.

Morston Soulmate AU (title tba, multichapter, around 20-30k when finished) - An AU where you can feel all the injuries your soulmate gets, both minor and major ones. There's no soul marks, seeing your soulmate get hurt and connecting the dots is the only way to find out. Has a lot of time skips and focuses more on feelings than events, but starts out pre-canon when John almost gets lynched and works its way towards the end of the canon story. Chapters alternate between Arthur's and John's POV. Canon compliant :)

RDR2 "Modern AU" (title tba, multichapter, long as shit) - I only call it a modern AU for the sake of simplicity... I'm not sure if it counts as one. Set in 1999 and focuses on the case of Arthur Matthews -- a 36 year old adoptive son of the infamous criminal defence lawyer Hosea Matthews, who went missing without a trace for six months and then reappeared miles from his hometown, seemingly unharmed, but also... not quite right. Delusional, confused, suffering from some sort of memory impairment. The story is about Arthur struggling to adapt to being back home in a reality that is apparently foreign to him. Outsider's/John's POV, but not really shippy. It can be read as pre-slash, though.

My Self-Indulgent Jesse/Arthur fic (another title tba lol, it's too early to tell but I'm thinking multichapter? A collection of scenes from 1878 to 1899) - This one is for me and me only, though I will eventually post it 😂 Written in second person, like a reader-insert and can be read as one if someone wants to, but I am including Jesse's backstory and feelings that are way too specific to be immersive for anyone but myself... I'm working real hard to write it in a way that portrays growing up queer in that time somewhat realistically, so it's not always pretty, but I do try to keep it not that depressing. Features: Jesse's early-life backstory, the story of the scar, his first Gay Experience, how his brothers died, the ups and downs of his relationship with Arthur, why they eventually broke up for what felt like last time, how he got arrested (altered RDO storyline bit) and how he got back up with the gang. I'm planning to do a rough rewrite/fix-it of the canon story with him in it too, but that's... an "one day" thing ajsddjfk

Morston Omegaverse (title tba, one shot, around 10-15k probably? I can't keep things short, sorry) - Young-ish and freshly presented Alpha John, "Closeted" Omega Arthur. Ngl this one is smutty as hell... but! I think my take on omegaverse is rather fun (very transgendered) and it's porn WITH not without plot so something for everyone there lol. John's POV again + lotsa feelings, misunderstandings and some angst :) Just the way I like it.

Vandermatthews Daemon AU (had a title but ao3 yeeted my draft and I forgot what it was, oops)- I say Vandermatthews, but it's more of a "curious couple, unruly son" genfic than real slashfic 😅 This is supposed to be the beginning a series of oneshots from different characters' POV. This one is maybe a 1/3 done (needs a serious rewrite tho) and written from Hosea's POV. It's about him and Dutch finding and taking in young Arthur -- a very traumatised child who has undergone intercision and therefore lost his daemon. More of a collection of vignettes from that moment to when they take in John than a real coherent fic tho. The next one is going to be John's POV coming of age thing and we'll see where my brain will go from there. I want to do a separate big ass post about this one later because I have Opinions on the gang members' daemons that I need either challenged or validated...

1907!John/Isaac fic (title tba... a two parter, one set in the epilogue and the second is a RDR1 fix-it) - NOW HEAR ME OUT!!!!!! PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN PITCHFORKS FOR A SECOND PLS This is a plot bunny that Refused To Fucking Die. Isaac is obviously an adult in this (22), they have never met before, and the story begins in the months where Abigail and Jack were gone and John worked alone on Pronghorn ranch. It's not so much a romance (despite the slash) but more two people dealing with different types of grief in Very Unhealthy ways, okay. It's supposed to be a bit iffy because of that and the... 12 years of difference between them in this universe. I'm not trying to make this shit uwu or anything. It's also a bit of a daddy issues vent piece for me and I've been working it for MONTHS because I want to write this one right. This is the the fic I redacted in my last WIP showcase, but now decided that... fuck it. Here you go.

(Doubt anyone has made it this far, but if you did ily.. please lemme know what you think? My ask box is open for questions too... I love talking about the stuff I'm working on even if it's not posted yet ❤)