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spike-and-faye · 4 years ago

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Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1. Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2. What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3. The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

#sorry for the long ass rant #i could seriously talk about this all day.#i even trimmed this down so much #cowboy bebop #fuck man this show is everything #spike spiegel #julia #faye valentine #jet black #vicious #radical ed #ein #<3 #spoilers #rant

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just-castlevania-imagines · 5 years ago

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My Thoughts on Castlevania S3

So I cant sleep, I've binged this series twice now & I really need to get this out. For context on me as a person, I am an LGBT+ WOC (specifically Asian & bisexual). Castlevania is my favourite game series + the reason why I pursued Game Design as my career. The show means the world to me & I thoroughly enjoyed s3 for the most part. I acknowledge the flaws & these r just MY opinions, they do not reflect the other mods intentionally in anyway.

The art + animation was so CLEAN. There was not one scene that did not take my breath away. The attention to detail was phenomenal I have no words to describe it.

Some of the best fight scenes ever just ridiculous, it's like john wick. The action is upped every installment + its just so CLEAN

The entire team puts so much time + effort Into making Sypha such an enjoyable badass it's so amazing. I am never disappointed with her, never ever.

The lesbians. Striga & Morana, god I wish that were me.

Isaacs character arc was so good. Like the budget really went to Sypha + Issac this season LOL

Sumi + Takka, they meant so much to me. I love them, I really do. I cant say I'm not hurt seeing them at the end. I'm actually very hurt, my heart aches. I never thought I'd get to see representation like that in a series that I loved but felt idk invisible to. LGBT Asians in a historical setting outside of Asia, it was just...a dream for me. I fell in love w/ them instantly & I think that's why I tend to over look their faults a lot.

But when you see yourself on screen in something you've dedicated years to & you're just finally seen its...its so hard. The last time I felt this full was Shiro from V*ltr*n and we know how that shit went down. Idk I'm happy for what I recieved, grateful even, for however short it was. I loved their characters, i love sumi + takka i just wish they got a better ending. They all deserved better

More info on Cho I really oof I could not have asked for more. This bitch was so extra & I love her

That music score, the sound design. Bruh I can't even with all this TALENT

I call episode 9 the Fuckening

The Portals to different worlds really confuses me but I am here for it, I hope it's just like an Easter egg to their future projects or that the writers were all high around then

I see u w/ that jojo reference, I bet you think ur all so slick

Hector's entire story arc, wtf was that? My guy you can't be like "Oh humanity is evil and stupid and eats shit" and then be that gullible I-ooof u frustrate me u beautiful boy. Like s2 implies he burns his family alive & I'm sitting here deadass like how the fuck did u even pull that off

The forgemasters being called pretty + their reactions were priceless

I want Richter Armitage to read me a bed time story

Trevor, Isaac & Sypha r just so well done this season

THE. HORSES. ARE. HEALTHIER.

Isaac rode a demonic purple unicorn around the world, he's my fucking hero

Alucard a confirmed bottom + bisexual thank u

The sex scenes were juxtaposed to the intense fighting but it felt awkward to watch but it was also very fitting in an odd way????

The dolls were hilarious

I learned a lot about toilet paper

The Judge being like "no kids run around in my village" is the equivalent to Mr. Mosby from Suit Life of Zack & Cpdy being like "dont u run in my lobby" AND I CALLED IT OUT AND AND WAS RIGHT

This show has taught me to never trust bald, old white men w/ interesting voices

Carmilla was just a hot ball of anger for the most Part & got annoying real fast, but that night robe tho. That was everything

I liked Lenore's character trope. Being that sweet innocent looking one, but shes really just this cruel evil bitch. Like everyone complains about Carmilla but at least shes evil to ur face until this fake bitch over here

Takka doesn't do mornings? Niether do I

Alucards wardrobe upgraded from deep Vs to fluffy Victorian Lestat cosplay

I really really want an empire run by 4 vampire sisters. Like I know they're all evil, cruel bitches but the sisterhood they showed for each other is such a goal. Women supporting women is amazing I just wish they weren't the fucking villains

A lot of my gripe is that all the rep I want & thirst for all falls into a negative category in some way/shape/form

This whole season feels more like a bridge to season 4. Kinda like a season full of fillers.

The ending hurts me I'm several ways, but objectively it is a haunting image and it really invokes so much on it's own w/o context backing it. W/ it tho, even more mindblowing and heartbreaking

Thank you so much for pronouncing Kolkata properly

I'm always blown away by character designs ur doing great sweety

The angel has the juiciest ass

Where the fuck is Cezar?

Aight I think that's all for now. If you got issues then come to me about it, not the other mods. But I'll let u know I will not tolerate racist shit (which I've gotten on IG already). I really needed to dump these feelings out. I stan Sumi & Takka, I love them and I'll carry all that on my own if I have to.

- Sincerely Mod Wall Chicken

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smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

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Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

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lvllns · 4 years ago

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otp tag!

oh holy shit this was a whole thing. i was tagged by @rosebarsoap, @solasan, @impossible-rat-babies, and i’m sure others but my activity feed is a disaster i’m sorry if i missed u. thank y’all for the tags!!

pretty sure everyone has been tagged at this point? i can’t keep track anymore, my brain is mush. if you wanna do this, you’re tagged now!

DISAGREEMENTS. Who is more likely to raise their voice?: Neither of them. At most, they get a hard edge to their voice or speak in clipped tones. It's always about risks being taken.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?: NEITHER OF THEM. There is no way Sparrow or Mason would ever do that.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?: NOBODY LEAVES.

Who trashes the house?: Who the fuck? NEITHER OF THEM!

Do either of them get physical?: NO.

How often do they argue/disagree?: Very, very, very, rarely. It's always about, like, one of them just fuckin doing something and getting injured or being put in danger and the other panicking about it. Or the two of them ignoring the other one telling them to save somebody else and instead saving each other. LISTEN.

Who is the first to apologize?: They both do, like in the middle of whatever they're talking about. It's always like "I'm sorry but I'd do it again" and the other person just "I know and I love you but I think you shaved 5 years off my life."

SEX. Who is on top? Who is on bottom?: This changes every single time.

Any kinks?: Sparrow is with a vampire. You get one guess. A lot of it is Sparrow.......uh, learning things about themself as this goes so like. They discover they're into choking when Mason puts his hand on their neck one time. Ya know. Absolutely into praise as well.

Who has the strangest desires?: I don't know that either of them really want anything considered strange??? I mean, Sparrow wants him to bite them but I feel like Mason would be onboard so.

Who’s dominant in bed?: Mason probably more often than Sparrow, though it definitely flip flops depending. I feel like once Sparrow is more confident, they'd be more up for taking the lead.

Is head ever in the equation?: Of fucking course it is.

If so, who is better at performing it?: Mason for sure.

Ever had sex in public?: They fucked in a haunted house at a carnival.

Who moans the most?: They're both pretty quiet I think, each of them takes great pride in making the other get vocal. A lot of like, soft moans and grunts and whispers.

Who leaves the most marks?: Mason on Sparrow, bc his whack ass healing makes it impossible for Sparrow to leave marks on him, even though they try.

Who is the more experienced of the two?: Mason for sure. Sparrow hasn't........had a lot of experience.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: They make love baby. Even when it gets rougher, it’s never really fucking. Well, okay, wait, maybe they fucked in the haunted house....that’s not exactly.....an environment conducive to love making.

How long do they usually last?: A...av....average? I don't know enough about sex for this section.

Rough or soft?: Soft most of the time.

Is protection used?: Like 99% of the time, yeah.

Does it ever get boring?: Lol no. Mason is Mason and Sparrow is always up for an adventure or a challenge.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: THEY. FUCKED. IN. A. HAUNTED. HOUSE. AT. A. CARNIVAL.

Where did they not have sex?: I mean they probably wouldn't fuck, like, in a gas station bathroom?

FAMILY. Do they plan on having children/or have children?: This is so complicated and requires it's own post tbh. Currently, no kids and no plans for kids but it's.......yeah, it's just complicated.

If so, how many children do they want/have?: See above.

AFFECTION. Who likes to cuddle?: Oh they both do, Sparrow initiates it more though.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Fucking, both of them. Handsy mother fuckers.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: BOTH OF THEM. Early in a relationship, Mason more often, but once Sparrow is comfortable? All bets are off, sorry. Don't go into the library ever.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: There is no becoming uncomfortable, they both just pass out. Or Sparrow falls asleep and Mason is legally unable to move, it's like cat rules.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: Mason will sit and braid Sparrow's hair while they read. Sparrow likes to just sit with Mason, like leaning on each other, watching a show or talking. Just, they really just like to exist together. Also, fucking off into the woods to go camping.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: Literally anywhere, Sparrow is not picky and both of them are so tactile, who gives a shit.

SLEEPING. Who snores?: Neither of them.

If both do, who snores the loudest?: Listen.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?: Oh they share a bed for sure. If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: Sparrow clings to Mason like an octopus.

What do they wear to bed?: Nothing, they both sleep naked.

Are either of them insomniacs?: Nah. Sparrow runs fine on like 4-6 hours of sleep though.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: Nope.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: Sparrow likes to wrap themself around Mason but sometimes they will just lay side by side and like, hold hands.

Who wakes up with bed hair?: They both do, Sparrow's is probably worse considering it's long and slightly wavy.

Who wakes up first?: Surprisingly, Sparrow! Only because Mason will fall asleep after they've been asleep for some time already so they wake up before he does.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: Sparrow is too worried about crumbs in the bed bothering Mason to even think about eating in bed.

What is their favourite sleeping position?: Mason flat on his back, Sparrow with a leg slung over his hip, arm across his chest and their head smashed against whatever part of him is nearest.

Do they set an alarm each night?: Yeah.

Who has nightmares?: They both do, though I think Sparrow is the only one who remembers them after they wake. Mason, luckily, forgets his dreams.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?: Nope, laptops can though.

Who has ridiculous dreams?: Again, both. Again, Mason forgets them while Sparrow remembers.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: MASON. He just spreads out and Sparrow tucks themself against him, it works fine really.

Who makes the bed?: Mason most often because Sparrow tends to get sidetracked and forget.

What time is bed time?: When Sparrow next passes out is up to the Gods. Mason just crashes whenever he finally feels tired.

Any routines/rituals before bed?: They'll watch an episode or two of a show. Sparrow will meditate. Mason often tries to break their focus.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Probably Mason? Sparrow is an annoying morning person.

WORK. Who is the busiest?: Oh they both are. Maybe Sparrow slightly more because of the whole, working for the PD and the Agency thing.

Who rakes in the highest income?: I feel like it ends up pretty even eventually?

Are any of them unemployed?: Nah.

Who takes the most sick days?: I guess Sparrow would, though it's very rare. Mason can't get sick, bastard.

What are their jobs?: Sparrow is a detective and agency liaison. Mason is a specialist agent for the Agency.

Who sucks up to their boss?: I don't think either of them do? Sparrow is polite with the Captain but he's nice enough. They definitely don't suck up to Adam or Rebecca or whomstever is in charge of them at the Agency.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: Neither of them. Sparrow has Anxiety so they're always at least 10 minutes early.

Who stresses the most?: SPARROW.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Mason enjoys what he does for sure. Sparrow.......never wanted to be doing this. At all. They definitely aren't thrilled but they do like it, it's just......not what they wanted.

Are they financially stable?: Oh yeah.

HOME. Who does the washing?: Even trade off I think.

Who takes out the trash?: Sparrow.

Who does the ironing?: Neither of them lmao

Who does the cooking?: Sparrow! Mason likes to sit on the counter and talk while they cook.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: Mason lmao

Who is messier?: Even split again. Sparrow will set something down, get sidetracked, and then that book stays on the counter for five days until Mason is like "Bird you forgot your book." It's less.....intentionally messy and more just....brain going sideways.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?: Neither of them.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: BOTH OF THEM. There is a HAMPER and they both just throw their clothes on the ground like HEATHENS.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?: Fucking NEITHER OF THEM.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Nope, absolutely never happens. Sparrow's anxiety kicks in and overrides the ADHD and the keys are always in sight.

Who answers the telephone?: If it's not a work call for Sparrow, then Mason.

Who mows the lawn?: Currently, neither of them bc there is no lawn lmao.

Who does the vacuuming?: Sparrow.

Who does the groceries?: Both together because they like doing it together. Mason enjoys putting random shit in the cart and seeing if Sparrow notices.

Who takes the longest to shower?: dasjgnd they're both very quick about showers, so neither?

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?: Sparrow I guess. They're both very much like, there's no real routine. They just fiddle with their hair and go.

MISCELLANEOUS. Is money a problem?: Nah.

How many cars do they own?: Just Sparrow's ol' reliable right now.

What’s their song?: We Love Like Vampires by Sparks the Rescue. Me & You by Honne.

Do they live in the city or in the country?: Country for sure. Both of them like the quiet.

Do they own their home or do they rent?: Right now, Sparrow rents their apartment.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?: I think so, yeah. Sparrow wishes they weren't still in Wayhaven sometimes but it's fine.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?: Whatever needs to be done? There isn't like something specific they have to do if they're apart, they just go on with their day.

Where did they first meet?: Formally, Sparrow's office when Rebecca introduced the entire team.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?: Gods, both of them?

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Mason, I guess.

Any mental issues?: Sparrow is a whole Mess honestly, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, etc. etc.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Both of them, bastards that they are.

Who’s terrified of bugs?: Eh, neither of them.

Who kills the spiders around the house?: NOBODY. Sparrow scoops them up and puts them outside.

Do they have any fears for their future?: The inevitable "Sparrow is going to die, Mason is an immortal vampire" obviously.

Their favourite place?: Somewhere in the woods together.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Mason, since, you know, he doesn't really enjoy eating food.

Who pays the bills?: They both do.

Who’s the tallest?: Mason by like 6 inches.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Mason, though Sparrow will too. He just does it more often.

Who wanders around in their underwear?: Oh they both do.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: Sparrow, though it's rare they do.

What do they tease each other about?: Mason likes to good naturedly tease Sparrow about their bookish nature. Sparrow will squish his cheeks when he glares and grin at him.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: MASON. Oh Gods, Sparrow is....listen, if they aren't dressed professionally for work or going out, they're a hot mess. I'm talking like bright green hoodie, neon yellow leggings, hot pink running shoes. Like a Lisa Frank folder exploded on a human being.

Who crushed first?: Mason. It took Sparrow a bit to be like "oh it's more than thinking his face is just nice, okay."

Any alcohol or substance related problems?: Nah, Sparrow doesn't drink.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Neither of them, considering the above and Mason's vampire biology.

Who swears the most?: Oh they both do. Sparrow looks sweet but they..........listen. They have the mouth of a sailor tbh. You get the two of them in a room together and let them talk and it's a mess of swearing.

#caiti.txt #long post #c: sparrow kingston #mason x sparrow #SURE HOPE THAT READ MORE WORKS #holy shit this was a whole thing wow it took me....a few days lmao

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wondernoise · 5 years ago

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Hewwo I'm here to talk to u abt q & big brother dazai,

coincidentally this happens to be my favorite thing to talk about!

like, dazai and q encouraging (both accidentally and intentionally) each other’s hobbies, encouraging each other to have hobbies and interests and traits outside of what’s required of them by their work

q who did a lot of reading in their little room because they really didn’t have that much else to do, so they’re at a super-high reading level but they’ve got nobody to talk to about the books they read, so dazai ends up picking them up too and they form a little two-person book club that’s half actual conversation and half “i bet i can finish this faster than you”

not to steal “dazai likes to draw” from @dazaipositive but dazai who used to draw and q who draws a lot now, and what’s ended up happening is that they share sketchbooks, so if you happen to pick one of them up it’s 3-4 pages full of more childish drawings done in crayon or colored pencil and then one large and painstakingly realistic pencil sketch of the ADA offices

i wrote about this in i’ll build a home at sea but dazai is frantically trying to push q to make more friends their own age, since he’s worried about what will happen to them if he can’t take care of them anymore and he also knows what it’s like to be completely unable to relate to the people around you, and he’d like to save q from the extent of that fear

on the opposite side of that coin, q is slowly going from burning rage at dazai for their childhood to terror at the thought of anything happening to him, which means the next time he happens to randomly disappear for an investigation they flip out and cry basically nonstop until he comes back

they’re both ??? at the concept of someone else actually caring about them so they spend a lot of time being ??? at each other even though they live together lol

it’s a very strange and awkward sibling relationship but they love each other

#there's also crack theory q and dazai being blood siblings but that's a completely different subject #bsd #asks #nbginrou #yumeno kyusaku #dazai osamu

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origami10 · 5 years ago

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Ajin ch 73 thoughts

(Spoilers under the cut!)

Ahhhh, there’s a fairly long summary of what’s been happening, and the tag line on the chapter cover page is “Knowledge, Bravery, and Friends- Nagai’s bet it all on his fight with Satou.” ;u;

Oh, the editor reminds people that when the emotion behind the black particles is strong enough, humans can see them too.

muahaha editor says vol. 15 will 発動 on Nov. 7 (I still associate 発動 with D.Gray-man)

(too scared to see what’s in this chapter so I’m just rambling)

oh nooooo the chapter is called “The worst” 最悪

still looking fairly dead... aww, Kei goes and grabs him right away! OH, black particles rising...??

SATOU FLIP lol right head-to-head the two IBMS... hard to tell which IBM belongs to who- are they all Kei’s? with the round heads?

ok I don’t really know where this grate thing is going

this reminds me of throwing Kou down in the tractor trailer

Are Kei’s IBMs attacking him...?

HA omg lmao if Sakurai uses this lame trope to make them ‘kiss’ I will be laughing forever [note from later- ah well, the possibility existing was funny]

it is really fun to watch Satou just DESTROY things in hand-to-hand combat is it trying to say that hitting one IBM’s head with another causes more flooding...?

“Why did you come...”

Oh wait, so they can see them in person, but the IBMs don’t transmit over video? Is that what it’s saying? That’s a fun IBM fact to include I guess

omg what is going to come after that line...? “You knew best of all.... We aren’t friends, [but rather....]” ? yeah I guess it wasn’t ‘but rather’ ... see below

I like the IBMs all over town

I feel like we’re not going to get a resolution this chapter either.... I say hopefully, waiting to be proved wrong

“All you did was help out people in trouble” “but you took it too far this time”

just smack him up some more I approve

“Come back to me one time” ?

“Let me do something for you” ?? ;--------------------------; the full page too ToT

Ok that looked like some life So what’s happening here, the particles healed Kai’s would, but he came back to life... ‘manually’.... so he’s still not an Ajin? >_> Sakurai how do you continually manage to find ways that no one has come up with

AHa so Satou’s been intentionally creating more enemies (IBMs) to fight...?

CLOVER THE HELICOPTER lmao it’s Blep I wonder what the ‘Air Wolf’ reference is too... A-team again? ooh it talked again

Ok so Kai is not dead and also out of the way now?? I can deal with that

misleading chapter title ftw? possibly ‘the worst’ for Satou..........??

Kei says Satou’s going to stop himself. I mean, that really was the only way all along. “The best thing is to do nothing” poor Kei

...but he’s going to do something anyway?

ok well this was like, less exciting but also MUCH BETTER THAN ANTICIPATED

Sakurai does it again, somehow

color cover and color chapter header next issue! (makes sense) I think it was a full chapter ...

more thoughts

Kei said he wants Kai to let him do something for him... doesn’t saving his life count?

#Ajin #Ajin spoilers #ch 73

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dlucets · 6 years ago

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waterloo | oikawa tooru x reader

Title: Waterloo Fandom: Haikyuu!! Character: Oikawa Tooru Genre: Very, very light angst. Fluff. Word Count: 1595 Extra Info: Crossposted from dA. AKA: That ABBA inspired fic nobody asked for that I wrote at like 1am but ok

♥

“Hey, (Y/N)!” a chirpy voice.

Too chirpy. You knew that voice from anywhere. You peered around the courtyard warily, locating the cowlicked boy from half a mile away before cowering into yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, you just… you liked him too much. And too much was bad. Especially with Oikawa Tooru.

You didn’t even know what he’d do if he ever found out of your… predicament involving him. Oikawa Tooru, the renowned womaniser of Seijoh. No. It was unheard of!

You instead opted to walk right past him, though you could feel your cheeks reddening an embarrassing colour as you sauntered past. It was embarrassing. You were eighteen, not fourteen- why, then, did you feel like your entire body was in flames when you walked in the vicinity of that boy? You shuddered - he must’ve had you under some sort of spell.

As you entered the school building, you let out a quick sigh. You’d escaped him. Somehow. And you felt the relief sink into you the way a stone sinks into water, instantaneous relief that consumed you as you walked over to your friends who were congregating by the staircase.

♥

“(Y/N)!” his voice. Again.

You tried to avoid him, to walk right past him, but his arm shot out and grasped your wrist, halting your footsteps. You didn’t dare lift your chin, eyes trained on the ground as the world seemed to fall apart at your feet. Damn it. Why didn’t he get the message? You were avoiding him, was he blind?

“Let’s get something to eat!”

“No, I’m busy, Tooru. Besides, don’t you have practice?”

You could literally feel the pout radiating off his cream skin, he tugged on your wrist once more and you tried with all your might not to look up. To look up would a) be defeat and b) expose your abnormally tomato-coloured face to him. Both factors were one and their own individual, and you didn’t feel like giving into the brunet so easily. Or even with difficulty. You’d die with this… secret.

“But (Y/N)-” he dragged out your name in that oh-so-pretty tone of his that made your heart flutter desperately as it drummed against your ribcage, “you know practice isn’t on on Mondays- and it’s not good to overwork yourself!”

“Tooru, I’d love to but-”

“Great then! It’s settled!” a successful smile pulled the corners of his lips upwards, that mischievous glint dancing around in his eyes in such an infuriatingly adorable manner; the sort that sent sparks dancing through your body; the sort that crinkled his eyes and exhibited the life in his soul.

The joy of life.

In a slip of judgement, you accepted. After all, was falling into defeat really that bad when you felt like you won anyway?

Because with him, somehow, you felt like you won when you lost anyway.

♥

“(Y/N)." He sat in front of you, an unreadable expression written across his face; You’ve been ignoring me, avoiding me,” Oikawa mused.

His cheek lay in his hand, tussled chestnut hair falling over his eyes and masking the sun from fully entering his eyes as he gazed out the window before his eyes turned to yours. You felt your heart plummet to your shoes.

“No I’ve not,”

You tried to feign apathy, stirring the spoon in your coffee round and round. Your eyes darted around the café, landing on vinyls that sat proudly on the walls and signed photographs, couples laughing and students pouring their minds into their homework and projects in between sips of coffee and laughter. There was always a protective aura in cafés, the sort that set you at ease in a sense. It was as though the exquisite scent of coffee could chase away any impending sense of doom and allow you to sink into the leather booth you were sat in.

Except for now.

Wherein you sat rigidly, glancing down at the swirling liquid chasing circles round and round and round the mug.

“You have. You’re doing it right now~” he teased, and you shook your head.

No you weren’t. You just didn’t want him to know. And you knew that as soon as you looked into his warm eyes; framed with gold thanks to the tint of the sun, you’d spill your heart out. Provoked by the false security of the café and your own muddled brain that felt like an unsolvable jigsaw puzzle in that moment. You wanted to bang your head against the table and pull your hair out.

Instead, you just sat there.

“No I’m not.”

“Look me in the eye, (Y/N), and tell me you’ve not been avoiding me intentionally, then,” he demanded, and you nearly choked on the aromatic atmosphere of the café.

You felt cornered; he was going to coax you into surrendering at any minute now.

“I don’t need to prove myself to you,”

“If you had nothing to hide-” he paused mid-sentence, eyes widening in a way that made you feel even more cornered; he was peering right into your soul, his quick mind acting as a compass as he traced the reasons as to why you were acting this way, “you’re avoiding me because you have something to hide, huh?”

“What? No!” you protested, “I’m just busy. And you’re busy. With volleyball. So we never meet. Ever. I’m sorry,” you muttered, all the excuses flying out your mouth with a practised ease that just acted as a catalyst.

“Ah!” he said, “You are hiding something!”

That stupid grin on his face made your insides curdle with sourness, you wanted to reach up to his face and grip his chin. You wanted to grab his face by both sides and show him how infuriatingly irresistible he was in every single damn way with just his innocuous looks; his casually irritable self that had you falling head over heels for him all over again.

“Do you have a… partner, (Y/N)?”

You glowered at him.

“No, idiot.”

“So mean!”

“Then why are you avoiding me-”

“Because… I’m busy,”

You weren’t surrendering just yet.

♥

“(Y/N)!”

History had that uncanny way of repeating itself and somehow, you’d managed to find yourself dragged to that same café a week later. Albeit this time, with ample reason. You had a project to work on and had decided the café was the perfect rendezvous for your group members.

You instantaneously regretted your choice, however, when you heard the chime of one Oikawa Tooru’s voice. It sounded as melodiously irritable as always, and you could feel your heart sinking further with every footstep he took towards your table.

Was it just you, or had the room’s temperature increased way above average?

“(Y/N)! You’re here!” Oikawa Tooru was there. At your table.

After a week of ignoring him once more. A week after you’d vowed not to surrender to that jelly-like substance inside you; that part of your heart that melted into nothing but sweetness whenever you thought of him. After all, you had not even 6 months before graduation, and who knew what would happen after graduation?

Now was not the time for love- Or petty romances. (Or middle grade emotions that made you feel like everything in the world was okay whilst simultaneously making you feel as though the world was spinning off its axis and the sun had been replaced with the honeydew tones of his voice and-)

“You’ve been ignoring me again,” he teased.

“Why do you care?” you shrugged, glad that none of your group members were running exactly on time for fear that they’d see the… encounter between you and Tooru.

You didn’t want rumours, after all.

“Because, (Y/N), I like you!”

And your heart all but stopped at the carelessness of his words-

“I don’t want you to keep ignoring me! We’re friends!”

And there it was. The reason you would never back down or admit defeat. There was no point. He didn’t view you in any other light other than that of a casual friendship.

“Well, Tooru,” you shrugged, “That’s exactly why I’m ignoring you.”

You didn’t know why the words tumbled out in that manner; clumsy, as though your mouth was filled with cotton wool and silk, tumbling out in organised chaos that caused him to straighten up as he knitted his eyebrows together.

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“You’re meant to be smart. Figure it out.”

It wasn’t surrendering; it was admitting there was nowhere to escape anymore. (There was a difference, honest.)

♥

Tooru 4:56am (Y/N). I got it.

You 4:57am tooru i love u and everything but can u not … text me at 4, nearly 5am i just missed 4 minutes of valuable sleeping time there.

Tooru 4:57am That’s it, isn’t it though, (Y/N)?

You 4:57am no riddles at this hour pls Idk what you’re talking about lmao sorry

Tooru 4:58am ‘tooru i love u and everything’ That’s it isn’t it~ The great (Y/N) loves me!

You 5:00am … lol i wish i didn’t tbh i mean it’s YOU

Tooru 5:00am ;; but for the record… ily2

You 5:01am ...as a friend.

Tooru 5:01am No-- What’s that quote by your favourite band, (Y/N)? ‘Take a chance on me’?

You 5:02am TOORU IT IS 5AM YOU DID NOT JUST ABBA ME AT 5AM. I BET YOU STAYED UP ALL NIGHT PREPARING THIS I HAte LOVE YOU

Tooru 5:02am So… What do you say!!

You 5:03am ...how could i ever refuse? I feel like i win when i lose- 😳😳😔✊

♥

Perhaps to surrender wasn’t that bad afterall.

#oikawa tooru #oikawa torū #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru scenario #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #oikawa tooru imagine #oikawa scenario

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shoushatohaisha · 6 years ago

Text

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki)

guests: shouri, naoki, shou, acchan

it's been really interesting to see how each screening has a different flavor depending on the show and the guests. for example, the first two shows were very much influenced by the interaction between the audience and the screened content, while the first act of this event was not so much a screening of "karasuno, fukkatsu!" as it was a live-action show of "kondou shouri, fukkatsu!" like. oh my god. I THOUGHT KENTA WAS BAD ABOUT REENACTING CHOREO at least he stayed seated half the time, shouri was straight up diving and rolling across the stage for every single one of nekoma's matches plus some of his white coat scenes as well. because if you put him in front of an audience this is just what happens.

BUT I DIGRESS. let us begin at the beginning.

first let me apologize for the fact that the first act will be light on shou and acchan because i was way up front, meaning i could only watch one half of the stage at a time, and it was real hard to watch anything other than The Kondou Shouri Hour. but more about them in the second act and aftertalk!!! ...also, i'm not gonna lie, i did not absorb a lot of the first five minutes or so because i was like, entranced by naoki's face. good lord that man has cheekbones. ANYWAY.

shouri: tbh this is the first time i've had a script to MC an event… honestly, who needs it. (tosses the clipboard over his shoulder)

he also mentioned he was at the screening the night before to figure out how this whole cheering thing worked, WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN THE PART WHERE RYOUTAROU AND JUSTIN WERE CLEARLY LAUGHING AT SOMEONE IN THE WINGS fldajfkldjf i thought at the time it was juudai and sonde, or maybe that kenta was there again (…i mean, he was, lol), but i bet it was shouri.

so then it was time for cheering practice. nice kill, nice receive, jump serve… shouri: oh and then when someone gets a point, cheer for them. you know like, I-I ZO, KU-RO-O, O-TO-KO-MA-E (roughly "NICE, KUROO, YOU'RE THE MAN") naoki: LOL WASN'T THAT YOUR CHEER IN HIGH SCHOOL shouri: yes :D shouri: ii zo, shouri, otokomae!! naoki: oh my god shouri: …let's do it now :D naoki: WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TO shouri: (already backing up for a run up) naoki: ok. cheer for kuroo, ok. shouri: no, for shouri :D naoki: ……………. shouri: (runs up and does a massive jump spike) audience: I-I ZO, SHO-U-RI, O-TO-KO-MA-E!! sound tech: (WHISTLE BLOWS)

to explain the whistle thing – so each night when the cast got too far off track or were going too long, a ref's whistle would sound. the previous two nights, it happened once or twice. how many times did shouri get whistled off? A LOT.

of course we practiced the datekou cheers as well! shouri: datekou, please show them how to do it acchan: but i mean, in the actual show, nekoma-san did this part, right shouri: right!! we did!! in the white coats acchan: so we'd like to leave it to you now ok thank you :) shouri: ...wait

(in the end they both did it.)

they then cued up the next screen… which was the entire datekou vs karasuno rap. XD shou: look. the rap is long and complicated, it's tiring, i'm sure it would be tough to do the whole thing. but even if you can't. everyone just please be sure to do sakunami's line. "funk it block." naoki: and yamaguchi's. shoubu no wakareMEEEE.

then shouri started explaining the special cheers/moves he thought up that he wanted us to do flfjaf;djkfdf. when nekoma sway back back and forth to their theme he wanted us to wave our thundersticks in time. "I THOUGHT THIS UP A MONTH AGO," he said proudly. "I WAS REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT!!!"

shouri: and here's another one i thought up a month ago shouri: in the manga there's a cheer that goes ike ike nekoma, right. so this is what i want us to do -- shouri: ike ike nekoma, nyan nyanya nyanyanyan! (waves cat paws) sound tech: (WHISTLE)

as before we ended by chanting ose ose nekoma / go go datekou except this time after about two seconds shouri and shou were like, yelling out at the top of their lungs running around the stage while naoki maded increasingly desperate whistling motions toward the sound booth. shouri: let's do it again! naoki: ISN'T THIS ENOUGH shouri: IM THE MC I MAKE THE RULES naoki: kansai people are terrifying. shouri: (super thick kansaiben) I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH

(and that, incidentally, is the difference between what shouri and kenta were doing w/r/t choreo -- you get the impression that this is probably how kenta watches these shows at home whereas put shouri in front of an audience, even if that audience is two people, and he can't help but perform. his and takato's consistently over the top ad libs suddenly make so much sense…)

all this, and the actual screening hadn't even started. deep breaths.

tonight the audience started calling out "furudate haruichi!" "worry-san!" "nakayashiki-kun!" when their names appeared on screen just like they were some of the players, it was cute. XD also even though kiyoko wasn't yet physically present, every time she "appeared" off stage the audience swooned "KIYOKO-SAAAAN".

so for the opening, of course they came out and did their own parts (props to acchan and shou for how well synced they were with the screen, their timing was super impressive) but then they all took turns doing not just a little bit of the rest but EVERYONE else's. iirc shouri was oikawa, naoki was iwa-chan, shouri was daichi, naoki was suga, shou was asahi, acchan was tanaka and ennoshita (the timing broke down a little bit here XD), naoki was takechan, shouri was ukai, naoki was kageyama, and shouri was hinata.

it was funny because like, when they first start doing other characters naoki was like, laughing at himself, still a little self-conscious but by the time he ran out to do kageyama's jump he was super into it and getting huge amounts of air lol. that was sort of the pattern of the night, naoki was clearly enjoying himself and excited in a normal person way but then kept getting dragged into increasingly weird shit by shouri and by the end would be like FINE LET'S GO LET'S DO IT.

as previously mentioned this resulted in them reenacting the vast majority of nekoma's choreo in full, in the center of the stage. flips and rolls and dives and all. shouri also kept forgetting this was not, like, a concert or something and would literally be bouncing up and down waving his thundersticks when he wasn't actively dancing. but then he got all embarrassed during kuroo's "that sparkling stage…!" speech and walked off stage... but BARELY, he was hovering so close in the wings that i could still see him ahaha. the closest he could physically force himself to actually leaving the spotlight. XD in contrast, naoki was so embarrassed during his first couple lines/closeup that he tied his nekoma towel around his face, walked off stage, and didn't come back for a full minute. hee.

shouri also made naoki leave the stage with him so that they could walk back on for nekoma's pre-match entrance, this time with shouri wearing his jacket specifically so he could reenact the dramatic toss and catch, which he then intentionally dropped a la the DVD blooper roll, as naoki took hinata's role of pointing at it in shock.

naoki was also apparently the "voice" of kiyoko behind the "tobe!" flag, shouri was very excited to make sure we knew that. OH for the first scene between kuroo and kenma, SHOU came out as kenma with shouri trailing after him measuring the height difference between the two of them and making exaggerated confused faces. and after nekoma waved goodbye and left the stage after the practice match was over, naoki also waved goodbye and walked off but shouri was so caught up in watching that he didn't notice naoki was gone for at least a minute and then did a huge doubletake at the empty chair. XD

last but not least, for the kurotsukki fans out there, i know you're reading this, during the practice montage at the end of act 1 shouri acted out tsukki's bit standing there tossing a volleyball with one hand like :|, and his attempt at a bored tsukki expression was hilarious, shouri's face just doesn't do that naturally. XD

so while the first act was like a show on stage we were watching, the second act was, of all the screenings so far, the most like an actual proper call-and-response cheering event. first was the tokonami match, of course, and honestly the biggest compliment to how well and effectively this match was staged is that there was zero snark – instead, i heard several people sniffling -- and the applause after ikejiri walked off stage went on for a long, long time.

but then the datekou match had so much for the audience to do! there was a LOT of cheering and chanting to take part in, and of course acchan and shou acted out big scenes like aone and futakuchi's "lock ON", the big blocks, "TEPPEKI DA" etc. by the end acchan was just on his feet making frustrated faces when he got blocked out ahaha. but this is the part that felt closest to actually being part of the student cheering squad at a volleyball game… if part of the cheers were a rap.

(at some point shouri and naoki came back on stage as well, and to be fair to them, for a split second when they came out again i was like OH NO LET THE DATEKOU KIDS HAVE THEIR CHANCE TO SHINE but while shouri did get very into reenacting their choreo he stayed off to the side and didn't distract from the main characters. thanks kondou-kun. XD

daichi: like [iwaizumi] said, datekou are really strong acchan: ^__^ (nod) suga: three months ago their iron wall totally destroyed us acchan: ^____^ (nodnod) suga: to be honest, we still haven't wiped out the fear from that time acchan: ^________^ (nodnodnod)

my favorite part about datekou, though, was at the end, when we got our first real emotional casualties of summer week. so first, aone's handshake with hinata also got a really, really long ovation, and shou started to look super emotional. then the datekou third years' retirement scene happened. because i know kimura atsushi, i was locked on (heh) to him from the moment it began, and was therefore able to watch in real time as his mouth slowly turned down and his face crumpled and his eyes glinted with tears. then when moniwa started talking about how next year's iron wall would be even stronger, he suddenly stood up and just nodded emphatically at every line but couldn't even smile. acchan i love u.

another sweet thing was that during that scene, the final "we played… we played volleyball!" scene with the losers, shou just took a long, slow look around the audience with this really gentle expression and later in the aftertalk he said he could see people crying and that he was really touched and grateful.

so, speaking of the aftertalk!

shouri and naoki also talked about aiia closing and how it felt kind of destined that it was where they had both their haikyuu debut and now their last haikyuu event. naoki: appearing as members of the cheering squad. shouri: as the ensemble cast. naoki: shouri, you were definitely the loudest person here. shouri: because i'm the MC!

they dragged-slash-complimented shou for his scary aone face. "yeah, i'm kind of scared by myself when i see the recording tbh because it's not like i could SEE myself when i was made up on stage." acchan: but off stage he's really nice!! naoki: yeah, you always gave off this kind of sweet idiotic air in the dressing room. shou: …actually… something like that happened today…

and then he explained how during the scene when aone is blocked out by hinata and lands with a thump back on stage, he reenacted it today… and when he landed in a crouch, his pants tore. XDD CUE EVERYONE DUCKING BEHIND HIM AND LIFTING UP THE SHIRT TIED AROUND HIS WAIST TO CHECK OUT THE TEAR AND FALL AROUND LAUGHING like literally naoki was lying on the stage paralyzed with laughter. shouri kindly demonstrated to us exactly where and how large the tear was, thanks shouri. "lucky i wore a shirt around my waist today!" shou said.

acchan also explained how he and shou did different variations on the "lock ON" on asahi, so of course shouri made them demonstrate – and they did one in which futakuchi tries to push aone's arm down, it pops back up, and futakuchi then walks his fingers cutesily up aone's arm as he says "yamenasai!"

then naoki told us about how during the scene when hinata spikes with his eyes open, one day takeru came up to him and said super seriously, "what's the deal with hinata closing his eyes? don't you normally spike with your eyes open?" naoki explained there was a line about how he hits with his eyes closed earlier, to which takeru replied, "i didn't hear anything about that, idk what you're talking about" and that was when naoki realized he was speaking as yaku. "i get staying in character but he WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO ASK ME ABOUT IT."

speaking of, shouri also said that the show was just around the time the volume with the nekoma third years' backstory came out so that if you watch the full stage recording you'll see kuroo and yaku squabbling and kai trying to break them up in the background and such.

then, another takeru story, for one particular scene when the nekoma cast was holding up the iron wall it was always incredibly hot, because they'd already worked themselves into a sweat during their actual match as nekoma, then they'd have to put on these long white coats, so it was unbearable… and then on top of that, takeru would come over and like. squish up next to him. and it would be even MORE hot. so naoki would be like, "pssst get away from me" and takeru would just sit crouch there dead still staring straight ahead. "i got SO MAD AT HIM."

so that’s why today takeru was tweeting "…what did shouri and naoki say about me." XD

finally, their final messages! that's when shou said the bit i mentioned earlier about how moving it was to see the fans' reaction, and added "I'M DEFINITELY COMING BACK i mean i don't know if that's actually possible BUT I DEFINITELY WELL." acchan fell all over his own words and then was like I CAN'T PUT HOW GRATEFUL I AM INTO WORDS i love haikyuu bye. naoki said how how grateful he is that his first and last experiences at aiia were both, specifically, "karasuno, fukkatsu." and shouri just talked about how WOW HAIKYUU'S AMAZING WORRY KINOSHITA IS AMAZING. (naoki: just pretend he's an alien or something, ok guys?) and then, also, that he owes his career to the show basically and is super grateful and proud to have been involved.

OH, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- the sound tech got the last laugh on shouri. they thanked us for coming and bowed... and then the credits music didn't start like it did for everyone else, they had to start singing it themselves – "da da DAH da da da DAH da da da DAH da da da dah" while shouri yelled at the sound booth "HEY, DON'T PUNISH ME" until the tech took pity on them and cued up the music. then shouri purposely "tripped" and fell going off stage, naoki held back shou and acchan from going back to help him, and they got whistled off one last time. XD

…the end. jesus that was a lot, how the hell are we going to get through shinka no natsu as led by shouri, we're all gonna die.

tonight: shousha to haisha………………. pray 4 me. see you tomorrow!!

#engeki haikyuu #hyper projection engeki haikyuu!!#haisute #kondou shouri #takeshi naoki #arai shou #kimura atsushi #LENGTH WARNING #kondou shouri warning #event report #haikyuu summer week

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zvaigzdelasas · 7 years ago

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So u actually havent felt what communism did to lithuania and continue to talk about it along socialism and all the other shit isms??cool

Damn I should have made a bet this was going there lol. Please direct me to when I said “let’s replay the October Revolution exactly as it happened but in the US”, bc I don’t remember saying that’s what should happen, nor do I remember saying the USSR was without massive flaws which enabled cold-blooded brutality.

funnily enough, the first person who ever told me that the ussr, despite its flaws, wasn’t the literal embodiment of hell on earth (which I grew up parroting in high school just like you, anon) was my uncle who was born and raised in Lietuva, who was alive to see both the nazi and the soviet occupations. He grew up and went to school in the soviet occupation, and he knew many people who were exiled to Siberia personally - most people knew at least neighbors who had.

Was that cruel? Yes. Was that an unwarranted abuse of power? Yes. Is that something unique to or inextricable from communism? That’s a resounding no.

Despite all that, there was almost always food to eat. There was the peace of mind and opportunity one gets by having assured shelter. Nobody slept on the street. Education was cutting-edge and freely available. When resources were available, healthcare was free to all. Does that counterbalance the some 200,000 who were forceably displaced and subject to harsh labor who never found their way back to Lithuania? I reject that sort of cold moral calculus which makes those things comparable.

There were good aspects and bad aspects, and any intellectually honest understanding of the soviet union must recognize both. If mass-scale forced imprisonment & labor was something unique to the ussr, then you could maybe say it’s inherent to the ideas of marx, but we don’t live in that world and it’s intentionally intellectually dishonest.

Anyway, what I actually have personally experienced is what Capitalism has done to Lithuania. I know a Lithuania whose social safety net and sense of community was eviscerated by the bloodthirst of neoliberal privatization and austerity after the dissolution of the ussr. I’ve felt a Lithuania that just last year raised the minimum wage to €2.18 per hour. I’ve felt a Lithuania that has the highest suicide rate in Europe (in 2012 it was the highest on earth, when i was there before this last time), and the Lithuania that has the second highest incarceration rate in the EU, and by far the highest emigration rate in europe (at its peak it was 4-5 times of any other european country), the result of which being we are a significant driver of the cheap labor force upholding other european economies

so how bout instead of using the suffering in my country as a plaything for your ideology while hiding behind some smug sense of assuredness given to you by clicking a little anon box, you do something worthwhile w yr life and help work towards some project to help stop that suffering, k? thx 💋

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smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

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Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years ago

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Survey #112

“i’m like a jesus crisis.”

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? He wasn't wasted or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was drunk with how ungodly talkative he was, and was way more expressive of emotions than he naturally was. Do you like going to weddings? I do again now. Although I haven't been to one since recovery, I'm sure I'd handle it fine and actually be happy this time. I need to get more comfortable in that setting since I'd actually really like a big part of my hopeful photography career to be weddings. Such a big celebration of love is something I adore. I already just like taking pictures of couples. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? BECAME pregnant, uh, I think a person I'm actually doing pictures for in January. Beach, city, or mountains? M O U N T A I N S. DAMMIT they're so beautiful. You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is: My instinctive answer to this question is, "is something wrong with Sara?" I live with my mom and sister, so it wouldn't be them, and it's not like Ashley calls me if there's trouble, she'd call Mom. Dad would call Ashley. She's pretty much the only thing that would come to mind if someone called me at 2:00 A.M. Future names of your children: I'm not having kids, but I'd absolutely name my daughter Alessandra and my son probably Luther, Vincent, or Victor. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She's aware I'm a virgin but have "done things." Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? Nick and very recently Joshua. I don't know if one's married or anything whatsoever, two are in relationships, idk about my brother. Do you think age matters in relationships? In romantic relationships, yes. What brand of face wash do you use? Biore. What’s the last letter of your last name? S Did your parents give you an allowance as a kid? No, we couldn't afford to do that. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No, and that's the reason I'm not pursuing being a meerkat biologist. Do you have any lingerie? Lol no, no one wants to see me in that. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them? A few weeks. Maybe a little less than a month. What is your favorite app on your phone? Fuckin' thanks Sara, DragonVale. I love Pinterest more when I actually go on it, but I don't use it a lot. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime? The dog I have now, Teddy. Who are you most proud of? Myself. I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but seriously. I don't over-exaggerate what I've been through, but I don't make it sound lesser than what it was, either. I know I should be proud. When you’re eating pizza do you add anything like crushed peppers, parmesan cheese or hot sauce to it? No. Jason got me into adding hot sauce to jalapeno pizza (we wanted death, I know), but I don't do it now. Loved it, but I think it being slightly less hot was more enjoyable. When was the last time that you plucked your eyebrows? I've never plucked them; I used to get them waxed, but no longer do. Don't see the point- they're just going to grow back, and quickly, and I'm not wasting money on that maintenance. It's not like normal eyebrows are hideous anyway. Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs? I will avoid this at all costs. I hate it. When’s the last time you had Sunny D? Holy moly, I couldn't tell you. But it used to sometimes give me heartburn, so I could only fucking imagine drinking it now if I hadn't taken my heartburn medication. Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder? Duh. Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? A total stranger, honestly, no. I don't know anything about that person. Could be a piece of shit. Have you ever embarrassed someone intentionally in public? I don't remember ever doing so, and I never could now. As someone with AvPD, I know how fucking awful embarrassment can be. Plus it's just rude to try to make someone uncomfortable like that. Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? I'm perfectly aware this is wrong, but a woman. I'm afraid of and don't trust men. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Hell no. Thank God I look like a totally different person now. What fruit did you last eat? Hmmm, maybe strawberries? What font do you use most? I prefer Garamond for basic things. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen, big time, and silver. Where is your dad from? Ohio. ... Or maybe he was born in Michigan but grew up in Ohio. Idk. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? Ashley's co-worker's. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. And it's still the only thing I know how to cook lmao. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Squirrels and birds are the only things you commonly see. But you'll see a deer sometimes, too, and more rarely a rabbit. I think I've seen a fox once in my entire life. Oh yeah, you'll see possums and raccoons sometimes at night. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Noooope. Well, yes to physical pain. What’s the longest hospital stay you’ve had? For what? Uhhh I think I was there for two weeks. Mental stuff. Do you know any same-sex married couples? Hm... I actually don't think I personally do. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? There was a point where we dated, Jason was like my only real life friend lol, so he was. Now I call my girlfriend my best friend, but if you don't include s/os, then my current one would be a guy. Skim, 1%, 2% or whole milk? Eh, probably 2%. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Personally, I wasn't physically attracted to him. But he's definitely not an ugly guy or anything. Do you prefer to say “haha” or “lol?” I'd say I use them just about the same amount... maybe "lol" more? How many stories does your house have? One. Were you dreams very vivid as a child? Yes. Do you eat meat? If you do, what is your justification for it? Yes. One, the human diet is meant to contain meat. It's much easier for our bodies to receive the nutrients it needs with meat. Two, it's part of population control. Yes, I know, you could argue the exact same for humans, but it's not like a sane person's gonna start eating humans. Three, it's just the food chain. Humans are on top of it. The process of killing an animal for food seems horrible and cruel, I know, and I doubt I personally could do it unless it was a survival situation, but I don't see it as morally wrong. Do you think that time travel is a possibility? I don't think it's possible, really. And if it ever happened, you can bet we'd fuck shit up. Do you enjoy night or day better? I've actually gotten to where I enjoy day. I strangely have a much higher chance of experiencing anxiety at night, which has kinda turned me away from it. Plus I have more energy and am generally in a better mood over all in the early day. Have you ever been to a protest? No. But the more and more passionate I get about gay rights, I'd absolutely partake in a *peaceful* protest regarding that subject now if one was nearby. Worst decision you ever made? Let a heavily flawed person essentially become God to me. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups? Eh, depends on the mood of those who would be involved, including myself. Bambi or Nemo? Nemo. I've actually never seen Bambi, but I love Nemo. Lil cutie. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Don and Aaron, yeah. Well wait, Juan too, but I barely even consider him an ex. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I have a short portion on the left and then the rest is shoulder-length. After seeing myself with a bit of short hair, I'm thinking of getting a purely short haircut eventually. Built my confidence up when Mom said she thought I'd probably look nice with a short hairstyle after seeing my new haircut. It'd be something different. What area of science interests you the most? Genetics. Have you ever been in an inflatable bouncy house? Yeah. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yes, eventually. I don't think humanity's going anywhere too soon, and there's too many militant people. What are things you’re exceptionally good at? Uh. Going into full-blown panic mode over stupid shit?? That's my specialty. Do you have any good book ideas? I think a ton of the stories within my friend group's RP would make amazing novels, but I highly doubt any of us will ever actually make books about it. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Mixed feelings. I just don't think some people deserve being nice to, but a part of me says you should treat everyone with kindness regardless, all the while not letting people get away with shit. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Fuck yes it can be. Some people will take one worse than the other, but both are fucking awful. Both can ruin someone's life. Zelda Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I have zero interest in Zelda. Do you own a rosary? I'm sure I have one somewhere. I was raised Roman Catholic, and essentially every Catholic has one. What's the hardest game you've ever played? Fucking Dark Souls. I gave it a good effort, but did nooot get that far. The difficulty honestly drained all the fun out of it. The hardest game I've ever beaten, uhhh... omg. Maybe it was just my age/when I played it, but "The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night" was so. Fucking. Hard. It literally took me a year or so playing it on-and-off to beat it. Fantastic game, but my god it was hard. "Parasite Eve" was also pretty damn hard (mostly thanks to the last boss, jc), but I definitely beat it faster. Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not? No, wouldn't see the point in wasting the time. I KNOW I would never get past the second day where you eat some crazy shit. Nope. Couldn't do most things they do due to me being a germaphobe, either. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? I never do because I hate the lighting personally, plus the red eyes are just no. I'd need to learn more about properly using it. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy and Grandpa. What color do you usually paint your nails? I don't paint my nails. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? I personally think black. It fits me better. How many times have you actually been in love? Once. I'm not to that point in my current relationship, but I most certainly love her. There's a difference. How many pills do you take a day? Five. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Do you want a church wedding? Definitely not, that's way too traditional for my taste. Have you ever met any celebrities? Lol you don't meet celebrities among my interests in NC. One day. Have you ever tried archery? No, but I was interested in it once. Favorite foreign food? Hm. I'm not sure. Were your ancestors royalty? I only know of Queen Victoria. Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window? Throughout. Would you ever move to Canada? Sure. I mean it wouldn't be my first pick for sure, but there's beautiful landscapes, and it at least seems to have way less drama than here. What about Kansas? Tornado Alley? Fuck that shit. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down? I keep it down. What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else? Ohhh. This really depends on the person. Coolest... probably collarbone dermals. If mine were actually prominent and dermals didn't make me nervous, I'd probably have them. They're beautiful, but seem super painful. And risky. Are you attracted to girls? I've pretty quickly realized I'm more attracted to them than men both physically and emotionally. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters? I loved both Pikachu and Ash. Do you know anyone in a wheelchair? I don't believe so. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Duh. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? Why? If I had kids, I wouldn't force them to go. I don't even go. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? It can be either depending on the reason and person's honest intentions. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? On hold? Yes. How long should sex last? It depends on the couple and how they're feeling. But once one person wants to stop, you stop. Five year plan? Go! Move out and have a stable job. Those are the main two things. Other things will fall into place. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? I couldn't be. Do you have pictures of your friends, and family in your bedroom? No. How old were you when you went on your first date? That was like 7th grade, don't know age. Me, Aaron, and I think two other friends went to a roller rink. It was enough of a date for middle schoolers lol. Have you ever had surgery, if so for what? Tubes put in ears when I was 2, pilonidal cyst surgery July this year. Have you ever seen a shark, and if so, were you scared? Never in the wild, just in aquariums. They never scared me. Such majestic creatures. Now if I saw one in the ocean, yeah, I'd be scared. Have you ever gone fishing, or is that totally yucky? Fishing with Dad may just hold my all-time favorite childhood memories. One of my most cherished memories is this time Dad, Nicole, and I woke up really early to go out on the boat at the nearby river to fish 'til around noon, when activity slows down. So peaceful and beautiful out there, I'd love to fish there again with him. I remember it so clearly that I can recall I packed those tiny 3 Musketeers chocolates and Nicole brought Snickers, lol. Didn't have breakfast since we left so early. Man... so many good memories related to fishing. Do you enjoy museums, or think they are totally boring? I. LOVE. Museums. Do you think illegally downloading things is wrong? My conscience says yes. You're stealing. Yet I still download music. Oops. Have you and your friend ever liked the same guy/girl? Not that I know of. Do you tell your best friend everything? I tell Sara just about every little thing. Ever taken any lessons for anything? Guitar lessons, yeah. Do you call it pop, soda, or fizzy drink? Soda. Do you like french fries, cheese and gravy mixed together? Uh, that sounds horrid, even without the fact I hate gravy. Do you live in a house, apartment, or what? House. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live? Mid-high 90s, low 100s. Sometimes high 80s. When was the last time you had a headache? What about stomachache? Headache, a couple days ago or so. I get them a lot. Stomachache, not since I got sick two or so months back. Where is your second home? Uh. I guess my dad's? Honestly, could you live without your computer? Honestly, after being exposed to one for so long, I couldn't live happily, no. Not unless I just adjusted to not having one after a very, very long time, but I don't even know if that would happen. What is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘K’? I stg do not reply to me with just "k." Is family the most important thing in your life? If not, what is? My definition of family is different than the traditional. Just like friends, for me, you pick "real" family. Say I'm related to an absolute asshole; by actual definition, they'd be family, but to me, nope. I can put other people above "actual" family, so to answer the question, not necessarily. After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bathroom. Are you completely over your last relationship? There was nothing to get over. I never got to where I loved him and doubt I ever could. It was just awkward. Last 3 movies you watched? "Monster House," "Corpse Bride," and uhhh... pretty sure "Coraline." Do you get stage fright? Well, when I used to dance, it wasn't that bad since I was with others. Now, I'm not so sure how I'd be. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? February. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Pretty sure yes. Do you love your computer? MY laptop, yes. The one I currently have to use, ew. Is there an outdoor movie theater where you live? No. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Both. Mom claimed she wasn't, but I think she was. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? Popcorn. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. Would you rather live without your Facebook or Tumblr? Facebook. What Lisa Frank character is your favorite? Ohhh, the angelic cat. If you inherited a large sum of money what is the first thing you’d buy? A train ticket. What did you do with your baby teeth when they fell out? Mom kept them. What is the last thing you took a photograph of? My snake. <3 Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? It's technically a bookshelf I think, but we store our DVDs there. If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? The DVDs are in alphabetical order. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? If they were guaranteed to not attack their owners/be docile and I could care for it appropriately, sure, I'd keep a smaller raptor. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? It's not consistent. If you could choose only one thing from Walmart, what would it be? Hot fries or Takis, depending on my mood. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? Dye everything.

#survey #quiz #questions

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arzayleatheory · 8 years ago

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It's so funny that anyone thinks Luke would take down your account bc a) you were around for the relationship and never once got blocked. B) arzaylea and Lindsay tried to publicly "fight" you many times and he still did nothing. And c) he has liked a tweet from a arz hate account before and didn't block them after so clearly he doesn't care too much. And didn't you get suspended after they brokeup?? Why would he care after he dropped her

anon #2: I’m just sitting here thinking about all the times linds and arz embarrassed themselves by trying to call you out and you never got blocked by Luke once lmaoooo and people really think he got u suspended

I’m kind of going off subject here, but I’m so curious as to whether or not Luke knows about my account. I wish I had a definite answer. There are really only three possibilities.

1. He does because Arzaylea told him about it. On one hand, I feel like she had to have because no one can deny that since at least February of 2016 (when she blocked me), she was obsessed with me. She subtweeted and directly mentioned me all the time online, so why wouldn’t she do the same in real life? She was constantly going out of her way in an attempt to prove me wrong. Maybe I sound delusional, but I can just picture her whining to everyone she knew about my account. Luke was her boyfriend during that time, and girlfriends typically tell their boyfriends everything, so you’d think she would’ve mentioned my account to him since it affected her so much. If that’s the case, that makes it even funnier that he never blocked me or confronted me because that means he knew how much I bothered Arzaylea but still stayed completely mute and let me do my thing – possibly even after his own girlfriend begged him to shut me down. But, on the other hand, I think Arzaylea may have either….

Intentionally kept my account hidden from Luke because she didn’t want him to see my tweets and start thinking, “you know, maybe this girl has some good points….”

Not talked to him about it because she didn’t know how to. I never once fell for the whole “Luke’s my best friend and we have such a great, healthy relationship!!! :)

If either one of those ^ things are true, then yikes.

2. He found out about it on his own. I have no idea how much attention Luke pays to what his fans are saying online, but before I got suspended, my account was pretty big….then of course there was the whole phase that like 80% of 5sos fans went through where they made a joke out of me and tried to shut me down lol. I know people must’ve been constantly DMing Luke about my account for multiple reasons – especially during the time that I was considered a joke and people wanted me deleted. I also remember fans tagging him in my tweets daily. I know he gets a lot of mentions and DMs, but still.

3. He never knew about it. That’d be kind of weird in my opinion, but of course it’s possible.

No matter which one of my theories is correct, Luke was 100% not the one that got me suspended. He would’ve called me out or DMd me or blocked me before going to such extremes, but he never did any of those things. Plus, like anon #1 said, I got suspended after Luke and Arzaylea broke up. If anything, I bet Luke was glad that I was helping his case by proving Arzaylea cheated.

I explained here that I got suspeneded because I “threatened” Lindsay. Luke had nothing to do with it.

#anon #ref

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fiftycucks-blog · 8 years ago

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Fifty Grand & Distance Decay Discuss Antifa and Freedom of Speech

DISTANCE DECAY ok let's un pack this -

FIFTY GRAND It’s easy. I don’t support what antifa is doing Especially last night Gross and embarrassing Bunch of privileged college students breaking shit Then going back to the privacy of their homes And chillin maybe play some video games Nothing revolutionary Sorry Not fixing anything Not helping anyone Protesting milo yiannapoulous of all people It's a sad time for the left If this was coming from the right you damn well know you’d condemn it DISTANCE DECAY other people have opinions too - u can be anti violence urself but to not understand why people would oppose fascism with violence is what i'm not understanding - i believe u said on ur own facebook something about those complicit in the holocaust FIFTY GRAND But dude Milo isn't a fascist Come on This is bad If you can prove to me That milo is a fascist I’ll fall back Forever

DISTANCE DECAY ummm are you speaking for me now? u don't kno my politics - so let's not assume and ask eachother questions the tweet u quoted wasn't about milo it was about anti fascism FIFTY GRAND Right But who destroyed property and hurt people last night Innocent people Antifa So I'm trying to understand Why you think that's ok We aren't talking about literal Nazis

DISTANCE DECAY 1. i believe there's reports of yianopolos supporters and antifa 2. i'm personally not for violence where in do i say i'm okay with what happened last night again the tweet was about anti fascism FIFTY GRAND I'm talking about Milo tho Not his supporters DISTANCE DECAY and i thought we agreed not to assume? i'm all for talking here, ur feelings are valid i don't want u to feel as if they're not FIFTY GRAND I'm just responding to you DISTANCE DECAY i could just as easily say i'm speaking of anti fascism as an ideology not those who carry it out FIFTY GRAND You and I both know what the original tweet refers to Antifa The org And to go back to your original question I'm not neutral or pro DISTANCE DECAY are you pulling tribalism on me? FIFTY GRAND The fuck lmao ?? DISTANCE DECAY i just woke up - i mean this sincerely the "you and i both" confused me to the tweet earlier - i saw the police language tweet - i don't want u to feel that censoring u, just showing how i feel, but i don't want u to feel unvalidated in ur feelings either FIFTY GRAND No I get that. But like. If I wanna say the word cuck I can I'm not politically correct I don't feel the need to be Besides you keep bringing that up, did you not even see who I was responding to that day? Someone who was attacking my character and music as a comeback Yea I shut them down And I don't care It wasn't discourse DISTANCE DECAY yeah u can, and i've seen u use it other times also on facebook but still i'm not gonna tell u what u can or can not say just so i can understand this we agree people can say what they want - correct? but i don't think that means freedom of consequences from that speech i.e. someone responding to u - which is very different from censorship FIFTY GRAND Let me ask you something What do you think was accomplished last night DISTANCE DECAY honestly - i just woke up so i don't kno the full extent of what happened, outside of the quick search i made when milo kept being brought up so i think that brings us to our earlier point - antifa destruction of property caused harm to innocent people, milos followers emboldened by his speeches brought harm intentionally to those whose identities they feel have no place FIFTY GRAND Ok I see where we disagree I don't believe that speech is oppressive I used to But I don't anymore He has the right to his speech Which is just about feminism and men's rights , sometimes Islam If you listened to his speeches you'd see it's pretty clear he's just a gay Jew supporting free speech on college campuses DISTANCE DECAY i don't think i said the speech was oppressive however i think that to say it's unequivocally not would be against a very common definition of the word - mental stress or despair - as well as not taking into account the way it can spread and be internalized thru socially learned behaviors - and that humans are creatures of socialization - i think u like psychology so think genie, victor FIFTY GRAND Ok true, I think words can be used as violence, psychologically But I think oppression is more systematic DISTANCE DECAY i think defining our terms is always helpful - i do believe systemic oppression is real and bad - so i think ignoring the psychological aspect would be a disservice to how social organization is formed - given that humans run these systems, learn and reproduce these oppressive values from other humans falls chimed in a lil here -milo and his supporters can arguably represent a cultural shift that has happened in the us in the right-wing (i.e. altright). it's fair to say that this shift is also part of the reason trump was elected, as he was championed by the altright. basically: at what point does this ideology and rhetoric stop being systemic when the elected president is espousing the same type of rhetoric? isn't that the definition of systemic?

i also believe language plays a huge role in shaping culture tho i am a descriptivist at heart 😋 FIFTY GRAND Not everyone who supports trump is alt-right tho. In fact it's majority rust belt people, poor people who hate the establishment. The alt right is a fringe movement and you're only seeing that because the media is blasting it everywhere And I see you co-signing tweets about me being a victim but you've totally ignored the fact that hella people ARE coming at me And bet you wouldn't even publically denounce me being called a Nazi Ur totally silent there And I find that incredibly problematic If you believe language can shape culture why are you okay with throwing the labels fascist and Nazis round so freely? Because now it just means anyone who disagrees with you Trump was not elected by the alt right Half of America is not the alt right Trust me You're a very smart person, how can you not see the irony in what Antifa is doing? How is it you can bend over backwards to justify it all You know it's only going to get worse People will be harmed Innocent people Every time I tweet on my own platform you see how people react. It is not unfair to assume that I might be subject to violence in the near future But this is the climate you support DISTANCE DECAY 1. i think falls said part of 2. wouldn't that be antithetical to ur argument in free speech ? 3. how far does free speech absolutism go for you? in so far as it hurts your feelings? 4. i think it is a problem when people going throwing these things leading to witch hunts etc, as it is to make generalizations about islam, referring to this as an isolated incident etc. 5. no where do i define it as anyone who disagrees with me - i believe the examples i gave lend itself more to those who are white nationalists 6. half of america may not be alt right but that doesn't change that they champion him nor that bannon is in the white house

i don't believe you are actually a nazi or a fascist, however as much as this might make u go "language police!" i think the language u use is irresponsible - as u have people in ur mentions coming at u i had people in mine from our last convo about islam telling me how muslims do not have a right to exist coming at me - i care about u and i'm sorry i hurt ur feelings - i think maybe there's a lack of linear thinking going on here and i'm having an issue proving my point without indulging in ur methods - which ultimately is antithetical to my own but i'm at a loss for getting it across with my words so i'm trying ur method FIFTY GRAND What language of mine is irresponsible? And what are my methods Lol All I have done is talked Used my words And I'm not understanding the free speech absolutism thing. It's actually your belief that if feelings are hurt we should silence Not mine. It seems very shallow to think that changing language will do anything to rectify deep seated beliefs DISTANCE DECAY ur method of saying and doing whatever u want because "i'm not PC" - whatever that means as i find this is another statement that requires careful unpacking FIFTY GRAND Like, do you think telling people to stop saying faggot on the playground is going to stop homophobia? It will not These are deep rooted issues Speech doesn't even begin to cover And I don't say and do whatever I want to defy all that is PC I simply don't think PC culture is conducive to learning and our democratic way of life DISTANCE DECAY not cover - i don't have all the answers here but again i think language has a huge role in shaping culture - so it is a factor FIFTY GRAND Would you police me for calling myself a tranny? Cuz I do I like that word and I reclaim it DISTANCE DECAY no - again you can say what you want i thought we agreed on this earlier? FIFTY GRAND Did we? Ok DISTANCE DECAY but that doesn't mean that others won't say and do stuff as well maybe not that's why i said thought - are you arguing just to argue at this point? we can stop here maybe have a phone call sometime or go to a library FIFTY GRAND No of course I'm not haha I know it's hard to interpret And yea I'm passionate and a little worked up But I don't feel like I'm tryna argue Just lay down my fundamental beliefs DISTANCE DECAY that's ok - i feel broken honestly FIFTY GRAND Me too, and we both feel very strongly that our way is the right one So there is only so much we can say to one another We will have to agree to disagree and I'm always ok with that I think I should say-- I've been very critical of the left recently which you've noticed, and it's because it's my party and I'm seeing so much division I feel like I'm watching it all fall apart And I want to critique it in hopes that people will hear me out Because I've spent most of my time critiquing the right in the past I feel I need to turn to my own party and say what's going on guys??? Sadly I'm not sure how much I can keep doing it, people want to silence me. And I'm not trying to play victim I'm being as honest as I can be, I really do feel ostracized And sure maybe I am getting in my feels, we all are tho DISTANCE DECAY i think where i myself maybe am confused/take issue is when u publicly tweet these beliefs- there is an objective tone taken, doubled by the calling out others for bias - then you go back editing/rewording them to something at the end after

example : take the "islam is bad argument" which is how ur words read to me and many others at first- i had a lot of people in ny mentions saying muslims should not exist - after hours u reposted ur thoughts saying using religion to justify horrific acts on people is wrong - which i think better portrays what u we're trying to say and i agree with but was not clearly articulated by the first string of tweets - and after so many with hateful thoughts found their confirmation bias already- and felt empowered and yes i think a lot of this stems from us getting emotional - which is fine we are human which i why i don't understand the triggered thing *in general * not with you and i think it's great to critique the left ! but i think your thoughts don't come clearly out at first - like so personally when u tweeted how is no one critiquing obama on immigration? - my twitter is full of leftist who criticized obama and personally i know of and know those who were deeply affected by ICE etc - again i think it's just the words we use maybe confuse us

FIFTY GRAND Yeah that's totally a fair critique of my tweets, I concede I need to do better DISTANCE DECAY we all do sorry that was so scatter brained the immigration policy under him really hit close to home - and it hit a weird thing bc getting rid of these binary thoughts/looking at life as grey - sad/anxious DT is coming to office but still not wanting to silence those who really suffered as a result under him - i couldn't find the words FIFTY GRAND I tweet my beliefs and I try to engage w those who disagree to a degree but also I don't wanna reinforce stuff I don't agree with, so I shouldn't act like I'm so diplomatic lol cuz I'm not DISTANCE DECAY yes i feel u - and finding the perfect words in 140 characters or less is very difficult - but given the current climate is so important FIFTY GRAND Right. But at the same time Usually something will upset me so I tweet about it, ppl inevitably disagree and then it helps me, by the end of the "rant" usually my stance changes a little or at least opens itself to others But I start out hella strong And that's probably not the best way Something that upsets me tho is that the narrative seems to be that bc I don't support the violence, that I'm automatically the opposition And thats a rough one to me DISTANCE DECAY i don't have the answers :/ personally vulnerability has been the strongest key for me learning FIFTY GRAND It does make me angry but I think before that it makes me a bit sad and fearful. Anger is just my cover up DISTANCE DECAY i think it reads that way bc you haven't spoken on other issues in a long time - which can lead to confusion or assumption - and granted left is your party this is twitter and people don't kno that

simple explicit statements grounded in reflectivity and reflexivity - subjectivity of language taken in account - is very hard for me :/ FIFTY GRAND Very true This might sound weird but is there any way I can like, transcribe this convo and maybe share it? Cool if not , it definitely sounds odd to ask DISTANCE DECAY and yeah that's fine thank you for asking FIFTY GRAND I won't alter it in any way unless there's something you'd want me to omit. DISTANCE DECAY umm i think it's good to go idk throw me 2 the lions *joke* ^^ FIFTY GRAND 😂

#ANTIFA #FIFTY GRAND #DISTANCE DECAY

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