#LMFAOOO AMEN

[astrxealis]

i will return on tumblr soon bcs i'm graduating hs soon and acads r done so i have a Lot of time on my hands for now Anyway can i just say am very proud of myself. got into the Top 1 school in my country, top campus, and a vv competitive stem course. yay 😁💝💘❤️‍🔥✨

[lieximhuman]

YO 😦 my grandpas caretaker that’s going on vacation just admitted she bought a ton of straight up yaoi to read 💀💀💀 why’d she tell me with the word YAOI lmfaooo. Beautifull. What a great woman she is. Amen 🙏😔

[etheries1015]

If you find the time; how would you describe the TWST guys in less than 5 words, badly.

Example: Cater - Selfie Gemstone

Oooo I like this HAHA I'll try my best but IDK IF I CAN PURPOSEFULLY DO IT B A D because I'm not that creative and funny. But I can for sure give a short lil' thing about each character of kinda how I feel about them.

Heartslabyul

Riddle- Mommy issues. Must protect <3

Cater- Slay girlboss gatekeep

Trey- just some guy

Ace- definition of a "man" (eye roll)

Deuce- sweet baby angel jesus Amen

Savanaclaw

Leona- annoying, but pretty (sorry leona lovers he doesn't do it for me)

Ruggie- real

Jack- Just some guy pt.2

Octavinelle

Azul - Capitalism, but he's cute so it's okay

Jade- Lawful evil (plotting)

Floyd- Chaotic Evil (horrifying)

Scarabia

Kalim- Chaotic good, bbg, classic sunshine

Jamil- Bag of unresolved issues

Pomefiore

Vil- bro i've been sitting here for the past 20 minutes trying to think of something but I really can't. I guess I can put "bag of trauma/unresolved issues pt...2 million" but that just isn't unique LMFAOOO (i love him sm)

Epel- Yeehaw, ur kneecaps r mine (me 2.0)

Rook- If the word "what" was a person (ynow what I mean?)

Ignyhide

Ortho- Sweet little robot angel, chaotic good.

Idia- Discord mod incel (it's a joke), gigabrain (genius)

Diasomnia

Lilia- Silly old man bat child anomaly (all of them simultaneously)

Malleus- Bag of unresolved issues pt.2, autistic (probably)

Silver- Could do no wrong (sweet angel pt.2)

Sebek- If the word "why" was a person (I don't even think I know what I mean by this but it felt fitting)

Let me know if you'd be interested in an actual analysis of how I feel about each character bc these don't do them justice HAHA

[mybiasisexo]

who are your fav or go to tumblr pages that write exo fics? or any specific stories you enjoy on here?

I have a tag for the fanfics I like

and im an old lady so I don't really know any new writers (I am so sorry I need to get back on it) but I do have my personal icons @baekberrie @yeoldotcom @j-pping @yeoldontknow @biaswreckingfics @ninibears-erigom @baeklination @byuntrash101 @breakyeol @vampwrrr @whimsical-ness (also rip to all the amazing work we have lost, all the talented writers who have gone. Thank you for your service)

my HIGHLY recommended fics are:

Break a Sweat by @breakyeol

I read this literally whenever my yeol thirst is too much and its gonna hit every time!!! My all time fav yeol smut

Sweet Lies by @vampwrrr

This is hands down one of the best bbh fanfics I have ever read. She writes bbh so damn well and its just so so amazing. I reread it every fall lmfaooo and I have hope that one day we will get a new chapter, amen 😔

Guardian by @kpopfanfictrash

An oldie (all the fics I love are like from 2016 smh) but GOODIE even if you feel some type of way about chen fics now I still HIGHLY recommend.

Exception by @moonlightjongin

Now, this story also isn't finished and prob won't be but...the edge of your seat??? The DRAMA?!??? Ugh I just love this one so much I really need to reread it cause its just amazing and I feel not enough people know about this one. A gem, truly

The Greatest Gift by @wonderlustlucas

Its giving everything it needs to give. Literally idk its just so good! The chemistry, the writing, the smut, chanyeols characterization. Just v brilliant and smart and truly my writing inspo. The sequel is just as scream inducing god I love it

and of course there is this little writer called @mybiasisexo who has this one story called Entangled that's ok. like she's cooking or whatever 👀😂

[buckgettingstruck]

God yes amen to everything you said!!! I said buddie would heal me and actually so many parts of the show already have?? Because of what you said. Just this unconditional love 😭😭😭 Hell, we even see that with Maddie and Chim I love them. Legit I don't usually care abt straight relationships because they're boring but this show has me crying every other episode.

And yeah I am not on board with b*mmy not because of buddie... if they had found buck a great guy who actually was into him for him instead of seeing him as the whole "Eddie didn't want me boo hoo" (and ... all the other shit like tommy hanging out w eddie for WEEKS without telling him he's gay and buck is supposed to come out on their first date??) I actually would be a lot more okay with it. Unfortunately for that idealised man, he still wouldn't live up to Buddie because the narrative is exquisite and I live for slow burn. (Give me my own slow burn lover, where are theeeey).

MADNEYYYY god literally everything i said applies to them too. the way chimney treats her is so 🥰 “i got out of the ocean for you” makes me cry so fucking hard every time i see that scene they make me crazy

also yeah to me he was taking eddie on dates LMFAOOO. also goofy as hell that tommy never even said that he was 😭 like ofc he doesnt owe anyone that information but considering the insane wooing you’d think he’d make that clear 😐 but yeah buck needed to come out in the middle of a crowded restaurant two days after finding out he wanted to date a guy 😁👍 yay

at this point in the show its gonna be so so hard for them to find a suitable partner for both buck and eddie that isnt each other considering how much time they leave for their relationship compared to their actual love interests are we not TIRED.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I just saw one of my fav creators account get deleted im going to end it all I hate everyone and everything I hope every one kills themselves I want to die I'm going to hang myself and everyone around me I'm going to look through the entire internet to find them I'm going insane someone help me I'm going to fucking freak out i need air this is even worse then geto dying holy fuck I need them now their works were literally amazing holy mamazoids I think I'm insane.

(My fav creator is rayrayline.. second to u..)

ANYWAYS I'M FINE AND I'M OK! 💞💞 ( not)

I'M IN LOVE AND SO INVESTED WITH UR WORKS AND I'M GOING TO SLOPPILY KISS U ON THE MOUTH BABY CHEEKS! PUCKERUP BUTTERCUP

HELP ME

me when one of the tiktok artists i follow either deactivated or got banned… BUT THEYRE BACK AMEN SO IM HOPING UR AUTHOR COMES BACK AS WELL 🙏🙏🙏

BUT LMFAOOO THANK U UM SO GLAD U LIKE MY STUFF TOO!!!

[trickarrows-bishop]

ava: what does amen mean is it like slay ?

LMFAOOO

[lifeintheworldtocome]

i really hope ur stomachs feeling better and you’re feeling more okay in like. general. now!! i got rlly sick a few days ago too lmfaooo

thank you dude my stomachache is mostly gone now but i was going thru it for a WHILE ... you and i are gods strongest soldiers amen

[mossolantern]

Heh,,,, FOOL. (/lh) I HAVE 5 FANCLANS I COULD THROW HIM IN!!!! But I would pet him at the cost of my hand <3333 /hj - BB

amen dog

i used to have a set of fan clans!!! i was making them for some server, but then i got kicked out bc the owner of it got mad at me for making less than 7 clans, it was a whole thing!

(even had a map for them that i made on some like map-making website that i think was meant for dnd LMFAOOO i think i can dig around for it!!!)

[blkkizzat]

I tried to go out tonight and got overstimulated. So I will be going home and spending my weekend on fictional men. Can the church say amen? - 🧠

AMEN!!! 🧠 nonny bae, thats all i typically do is spend my time with fictional men, they are so much better than real men 9/10 times lmfaooo. the times i actually go out and hoe are rare haha. i be so tired usually.

[mintcaboodle]

behold! content!

[crystalzelda]

A lot of the “zoomers roast millennials” posts always center on “lol you bitches POOR”

1. I’m not sure how that’s much of a diss to point out that millennials been fucked by the system like it’s our fault but ok 2. Making fun of someone for being poor is a very boomer thing to do and 3. Not to be blunt but not sure why y’all think it’ll be different for you unless those are meant to be self burns too. The wheels of capitalism will grind us all don’t u worry, tiktok fame will NOT save u

Considering how many people are suffering so much right now financially due to COVID I do find these in bad taste and make those jokes feel like they’re coming from teens with rich parents in which case lmfao... that’s rich, literally and figuratively.

Anyways stick to roasting us over Hogwarts houses or something at least that one was clever the first 32 times

[tears0fsatan]

oh my golly bro congrats on 350 followers 🫣‼️ for the event hehe can i pretty please request m!reader catching belphie jerkin off and like uses this opportunity to fuck him back to sleep cuz like catching belphie half conscious is like once a full moon 🌝

𖥻 characters... belphegor x m!reader

𖥻 genre... nsfw oneshot

𖥻 warnings... nsfw!! minors, ageless blogs and fem aligned will be blocked, amab!reader, dom top!reader, brat!belphegor, established relationship, desperate demon [...maybe he's a lil ooc i don't know him well enough apologies in advance], dirty talking [a lot LMFAOOOO], semi somno??? not really?? idk, teasing, dry humping LMFAOOO, ... use of the pact against him LOLLLLL [might count as power play? it's not for long tho!], pet names!!! [baby, darling, my love etc etc], fingering [we aren't ruthless here babes], scratching [no mention of blood!!], despite these all warnings it's actually kinda soft 😭

𖥻 a.n... AAAA thank u for ur support anon!!!! n yes u lovely human ofc u can get this, gotta be one of the best reqs i've ever received fr ‼️ i hope this was to ur liking anon!! pls send more reqs the population appreciates ur idea amen 🙏 hope this one doesn't get taken down like my baizhu + pantalone fic :sob:

🌐 % 3V3NT H3R3 @ __★

within the house of lamentation, one demon laid awake in the dead of night. the house was quiet, as most of it's inhabitants were asleep, but the attic was occupied by a rather needy demon. albeit, he was hardly conscious, but he was awake enough to feel desperate to reach his high.

belphegor was getting tired, he had been trying to cum for way too long now, and all he wanted was to go back to sleep. even if he could just sleep it off, the raging hard on and the obscene thoughts prevented him from comfortably dozing off.

the avatar of sloth let out a loud whine, tears building up in his eyes out of pure desperation. the pillow he had been grinding into was nowhere near enough, nothing he was doing was enough, he needed you.

luckily for him, you were awake too. you were already on your way to his room, somehow finding yourself unable to sleep and knowing you would have some success if you were with your sleepy boyfriend.

as you neared the attic, you could faintly hear some... odd noises coming from the room. your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, quietly stalking up the stairs in hopes of getting a better idea of what the sound really was.

thanks to your bleary, sleep-deprived mind, it took you a while to recognise where the noise was originating from. you nearly choked on your own spit and your eyes widened at the realisation, your cock (who was already half hard from your little... daydream earlier that evening) twitched in your pajama pants.

once close enough, you were able to make out a whiny "please mc, i need you." and it was more than enough to wake you up.

as quietly as you could, you pushed the door open, silently leaning against the doorway to watch the demon squirm around on his bed. it felt as though your breath had been knocked out of you, he looked like a mess. you could only imagine how long he had been humping his cherished pillow to try and cum, whining and begging at empty space for you.

you were trying your damned hardest to not go over to him and ravish him, you wanted him to realise you were there, that you had seen him pathetically rut against his pillow, but holding yourself back was proving harder than you expected.

you couldn't help but pay attention to the sheen of sweat that covered his body, nor could you ignore his hand that was feeling himself up. it tempted you, and you resorted to digging your fingernails into your palm to stop yourself from going over there and fucking him back to sleep.

"m-mc, nnh, help me, please." despite sounding drowsy and like he would fall asleep at any given second, his voice cracked at your name in between hushed pants and heady whines.

"do you want me to help you, darling?" you called out, pushing yourself off the door frame and sauntering your way towards him.

"mhm!" came his quick reply, which, admittedly threw you off. normally he'd be more of a brat, he'd tease and drag out the moment for as long as he could. as you neared him, you began to realise that his eyes were screwed shut and his movements seemed rather... sluggish, almost as though he wasn't completely awake.

it was then that you realised that belphegor was merely half-awake, only conscious enough to know that he wanted to cum. you couldn't help but let out an incredulous chuckle, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"mc, please, he-elp me!" the demon's voice broke in the middle of his sentence to let out a high-pitched moan, hips stuttering against the cow-printed pillow.

you hushed him while your hand grazed his thigh, groping the plush muscle. it was all he needed to cum, spluttering as he painted the cushion white with his seed. you cooed, lifting his bangs away from his forehead to give him a peck.

his hand naturally made a grab for your arm, bringing it up to his face so he could nuzzle into your hold. you took note of the way his eyes remained shut, yet his grip was tight like he wasn't intending on letting you go anytime soon.

you let out a surprised noise as the demon suddenly tugged you down, pulling you into a kiss. you climbed on the bed, moving the cum-stained pillow to the side to straddle the demon, all without breaking the kiss. it didn't take long for the kiss to become heated, and you could feel his dick hardening again.

you wanted to make fun of him, but you weren't much better. your cock was hard and painful against its tight constraint, though you didn't have much time to worry about it as belphegor thrusted his hips up against yours.

belphegor whimpered against your lips, doing it once more, clearly proud of the way your breath faltered at the friction. you huffed against the kiss, hands moving down to keep his hips still, taking control of the situation by rolling your hips down on him.

his arms immediately grabbed a hold of your upper arms, nails digging into the flesh. you broke off the kiss when the lack of air began constricting your lungs, despite the demon's attempts to bring you back down. you panted harshly while your eyes raked over his appearance, sucking in a breath through your teeth when you noticed the precum that had dribbled onto his stomach.

your eyes shifted back to his face, surprised to be met with his bleary-eyed gaze. his eyes were half-lidded, and you could just make out his dilated, unfocused pupils in the dim lighting of the attic. he was panting, but he was oddly not as out of breath as you were. it flustered you, seeing him not as affected as you were, though you tried not to let it show.

however, if the tongue poking out to wet his lips that were quirked up in a smirk was anything to go by, you knew he could tell, in fact, you'd say he was proud of how breathless he made you.

"you look proud," you commented, nails lightly scratching up and down his body, "you didn't think i'd just let you get away with all this teasing, did you?" you made sure to grind down harshly on his cock, a shiver going down your spine at the action.

belphegor smiled sweetly albeit drowsily, though you could see the underlying defiance behind it, his hands moving down to grab a hold of your waist. you quirked your eyebrow, giving him a warning look to which he responded by batting his eyelashes in feign innocence at you.

in a swift move, you held both of his wrists in one hand, shoving them into the pillows above his head. "behave." you warned even though you were aware it wouldn't do much, so you also ceased the movement of your hips.

he whined as a response, squirming around in your grasp with no real strength, his hips pathetically attempting to rut against you. you want to chuckle at his desperation, but the cloth that constricts your cock is all you can think about. you're silent for a moment, thinking of how you could simultaneously take off your pants while keeping the demon in place.

he tries to struggle again, until you remember the power you hold over him. your attention shifts back to him and a wicked smile grows on your lips, which manages to get him to lay still.

"sit still for me, sweetheart." the pet name trickled out of your lips in a sickly sweet manner as a way to get back at him, and you saw the moment it registered that you words weren't a warning, but instead a command using the pact between the two of you.

you took pleasure in the way his cock twitched underneath you at the realisation, wasting no time in shifting off of him to shuffle out of the piece of fabric that got in the way between and him. while doing so, you made sure to grab the lube the avatar of sloth kept tucked between the sea of pillows.

you took in a shuddered breath when the cool air hit your hard cock, feeling belphegor's heavy gaze watching your every move. you made a show of moving back to him, purposely slowing your actions, taking your time to get back to the demon who's eyes hadn't moved away from your body.

the closer you got, the more his eyes drooped, like he was overtaken by his need and lust for you. you sat next to him with your knees tucked beneath your thighs, gently propping him up to how you wanted him, your touches lingering in a way you knew would have his dick twitching and leaking precum.

"stop teasing!" belphegor cried out groggily, body frozen still while under your control. the rush you got seeing him unable to fight against the order made through the pact helped spur you on.

you nestled behind him, his knees touching each other while folded against his thighs gave you the perfect view of his plump ass. you were unable to resist the urge to knead the flesh, leaning forward to massage the plush muscle.

with one hand resting on him, your other hand moved away to squeeze a generous amount of lube on your hand.

"wanna touch ya." he slurred out before you could touch him, the hands above his head wriggling in attempt to get you to recall the command you had on him. you debated for a bit, weighing between undoing the command or keeping it in place. though the second option sounded tempting, you decided against it.

"touch me all you want, belphie." without a second to spare, his arms found themselves wrapped loosely around your neck, urging you to come closer to him. he pulled you into a kiss, and you're not one to deny your demon. with your tongues intertwined, it gave you the perfect opportunity to inch your hand closer to his ass.

he gasped into the kiss when you slowly inserted your digit into him, his hips wiggling around to adjust to the feeling. you distracted him by wrapping your free hand around his hard cock, massaging his sticky tip that made his back arch into you.

you adored the way his eyes glazed over as his mouth fell open in a silent moan while you worked him open, pulling out your fingers when you decided he was loose enough for you.

"keep your eyes on me, darling." you aligned your cock with his fluttering hole, holding onto his knees as you pushed yourself into him. when you finally bottomed out, the two of you sighed simultaneously, your head tilting backwards at the feeling while your grip on him tightened.

the sound of skin slapping skin reverberated throughout the room, joined by the sound of belphegor's sinful cries.

"gonna fuck you back t' sleep, jus' like you deserve." the demon whimpered, eyes falling shut and back arching off the bed. he clung onto you, mumbling incoherently under his breath as you continued to pound into him.

you leaned down to pepper kisses on his face in order to silence the moans threatening to spill from your mouth, the avatar of sloth turning his head towards you and soaked up all the attention you were spoiling him with.

"yeah, you like that don't you, baby?" the words spilled out of your mouth, along with the grunts in between your words. you could hardly think straight, belphegor's hole clenching around you in ways that left you feeling breathless.

"mmf, right- right there!" his nails scratch at your back, his legs pulling you impossibly closer and keeping your hips in place. your eyes tightly squeezed shut when he clamped down on you, almost like he was trying to milk you for all you were worth.

all it took was one more deep thrust from you and all the strength left his body, his arms dropping onto the bed while his chest rose and fell erratically. he came, painting both his and your stomach white with his cum.

the avatar of sloth shot you a weak smile before his head lolled over to the side, snores filling up the quiet room. you couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the demon, in a state of disbelief that someone could fall asleep after being fucked like that.

you shook your head, a soft smile playing on your lips as you nestled behind belphegor, throwing your arm around his waist. you whispered a quiet, "sweet dreams, my love." before succumbing to your own slumber.

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!

[that-vigilante-piedpiper]

Apparently I’ve been saying Reo wrong the whole time, and now I have to reread that whole fic and read his name correctly or else it’s gonna bother me lmfaooo

[AMEN AMEN AS YOU SHOULD]

[clericallyinsane]

me to my friend [literal translation]:

BITCH I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK

OMG

IT'S HERE

STRANGER THINGS 4 TRAILER (more like mini trailer but STILL)

I'M CRYING

[link]

I'M SO MAD I CAN'T GO ON TUMBLR

THERE'S A PROTEST THING GOING ON

I WANTED TO SEND A THOUSAND POSTS OF ME FREAKING OUT THERE

(that's what i'm doing rn lmaooo can't control myself)

ELEVEN IN BANGS I'M NOT OKAY

SHE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT

I EXPLODED

[she said something about having to go do breakfast or whatever]

OKAY SORRY I'M FREAKING OUT I NEED TO FREAK OUT (???)

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE

IS THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE MIKE???????

IT LOOKS LIKE A GIRL BUT IDK MAN

MY BELOVED, LUCAS IS NOT GONNA BE EXCLUDED AMEN CHRIST

HOPPER WHY DO YOU HAVE A FIRE GUN

VICKIE MY BELOVED

(sorry I thought it was Vickie HDFSBADSJBA LMFAOOO)

??????????

IS THAT WILL

IF IT IS HIM I'LL EXPLODE

THERE'S SO MUCH TO PROCESS

FUCK NO

THERE WAS THIS THEORY

THAT JOYCE WOULD DIE WHEN HER CAR EXPLODED

AND A CAR EXPLODED

DUDE NO

FOR GOD'S SAKE

IT CAN'T BE JOYCE

FUCK I'M FREAKING OUT SO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCKKKKK

IS IT WILL????

WILL?????

WILL?????????

(emphasis in will because wILL)

STEVE BECAME A MERMAID

STEVE WHY U IN THE OCEAN BRO

I'M FREAKING OUT

FREAKING OUTTTTTT

FUCK IT'S KALI

(it's probably eddie but i'm dumb so i thought it was kali)

I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BACK FUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

WHY IS ELEVEN BACK IN THE LAB FUCKING HELL

IS THAT STEVE OR EDDIE?????????????

(again, dumb)

wow it was erica i'm dumb

(yes you are)

sorry i'm freaking out so much

THE CLOCK

WHY IS THERE A CLOCK

DUDE

DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

IN 2022

ELEVEN KIDNAPPED WHY GUYS

FREAKING OUT

BECAUSE SHE EXPLODED ANGELA???????????

I WANT HER TO EXPLODE ANGELA

oh it was nancy lol

(about the one i thought was mike)

WOW DUDE JOYCE SURVIVED

JOYCE IS THE ONE WATCHING HER CAR CATCH ON FIRE

IS THAT IT????????????????????

THEY TRIED TO KILL HER BUT THEY FAILED

OK

WAIT BUT COULD MURRAY BE IN THE CAR

FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Theories, making a separate post for that]

I'M FREAKING OUT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK MAN I'VE DREAMT OF THIS SEASON LIKE 5 TIMES ALREADY

THAT IT WAS HERE AND SHIT

AND NOW THERE'S A MINI TRAILER

THE BIGGEST FREAK OUT OF ALL FREAK-OUTS

btw neither mike or will are in the trailer...because they're k i s s i n g LMFAOOOOOOO i'll stop

WAIT ARE THEY AT CHURCH???????????

flooks like a church thing

i'm crying

wow now i won't be able to focus on anything else

omg

omg

omg

freaking out

fuck

freaking out

wow

IT'S NOT EVEN VICKIE BAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S CHRISTINE

jk her name is chrissy

WOW IT'S NOT EVEN KALI THE HELL

IT'S EDDIE

FUCK I'M DUMB

ACTUALLY NO BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE KALI

(no u just dumb)

wow my computer is a son of a bitch it randomly died and didn't save my music

but it's fine because STRANGER THINGS

okay that's it

[escapekissed]

KORRA HC:

i think this show is trash except for the last two seasons and i also think that somebody should just rewrite this show with me. thank u amen. like i GET what they were going for u can kind of see it in the last season but the first season. hot mess. second season. even worse. -_- i’m just discoursing this is not really a hc lmfaooo