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romanarose · 2 years ago

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Seattle: Chapter 5

Marc Spector X fem! OC

Seattle Masterlist

Part 4 : Part 6

Summary: Rebecca and Marc travel back to Chicago for a funeral, Rebecca and Marc face people from their past, together.

Warnings: References to domestic violence, sexual assault via condom tampering, references to child abuse, shown child abuse (aggressive behavior/manhandling/pain inflicted on teenagers), mentions of miscarriage, inflicting miscarriage, siblings being siblings, victim blaming, Marc and Rebecca are in a bit of a fight, Rebecca got some anger she gotta work on.

Not proof read, this literally took me hours I'm so tired of looking at it

This picture is just so cute asdfgjkl look how mad he is, he’s pouting watching the others fight knowing he’s not supposed to intervene

A/N got my groove back, last chapter sucked ass, this is much better. the flashbacks have tie in with the present, top tier

**********

“Mac, I told you 1000 times you didn’t have to come”

It had been nearly two months at this point. Two months of divorce paper work and filing complaints with the court, getting medical and police records. Jack’s calls and texts to Becca had become none-stop, to the point where the courts ordered all phone communication to go through Matty. No protection or restraining order was granted, however the judge seemed to think Jack “wasn’t an immediate threat”. It still seemed like Rebecca would be granted the divorce and a settlement, Matt and Foggy were good at their job, but the male judge still seemed to take things easy on Jack, despite the overwhelming evidence.

“Oh, yeah, sure, and leave you to deal with him alone? Yeah Beccs, I’m definitely gonna do that” Marc rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “And I told you, that you don’t have to go in the first place.” After several decade of drinking and poor health, Rebecca’s dad died of a heart attack. Marc knew better than most that this does not bring the relief that many might think, but it doesn’t bring the sorrow you’d expect from the death of a parent. It brings both, and it’s confusing as hell. He tried to tell her she didn’t have to go to the funeral or the shiva, but she insisted she had too. Rebecca had lost years to Jack, years of traditions and faith, Marc assumed this was part of her reclaiming it.

Problem was, Jack was going too. Asa invited him. Rebecca refused to tell Asa the brunt of what happened, Marc figured this was out of pride, or embarrassment, but either way, Asa had taken Jack's side in the divorce, as had much of the family. Still, for whatever reason, Rebecca had decided it was her duty to go and help. She had already insta-carted groceries she’d need to feed the family after services. Rebecca wasn’t observing the complete shiva, no she couldn’t take her family that long. Funeral was the evening of their flight, which left at 6 in the fucking morning, then one day of shiva with everyone, Sunday, they’d get lunch with Elias, and her and Marc might spend some time at their old stomping grounds, then head home monday in time for Steven to teach his evening class, and Rebecca would finish out the shiva in her own way. ‘In and out’ she had said, like it was a fucking heist. Somehow, this was more intimidating than any mission he had been on before. Chicago, his dad, her dad, Jack, Asa… it was all overwhelming. Hey mate, I’ll be here, yeah? I can fake your accent pretty well. Maybe not for dad, but enough to get by with the shiva, so it’s too much, let me take over, yeah?

I’ll be fine, Steven, thanks

Marc.

He sighed. Yeah, okay, I’ll let you take the body if I need it.

And just talk to her. She understands. She loves you.

I need to be here for her

I know, but she’s still embarrassed. Allowing her to help you, will help her too. She wants to repay you

She doesn’t have too-

I know, but she wanted to.

“I know you don’t want to come. I can handle Jack and Asa by myself” She insisted, breaking Marc out of his thoughts.

Marc scoffs, they’ve had this argument 100 the last few days since Asa called to tell her her dad passed. “Yeah, right, and leave you to get back together with Jack” He rolled his eyes as he kept walking straight ahead. When he didn’t hear her voice telling him to fuck off, like she had several times since they had been… are they fighting? He turned around to find her glaring at him, arms crossed. He sighs, the bustle of the airport terminal suddenly very loud. “What?”

“That was a dick thing to say” she pointed at him. “And you fucking know it.” Behind her anger was genuine hurt, and Marc didn’t like to see her hurt.

“I’m sorry.”

She softened, but was still on edge. “It’s fine Marc, just… if you’re coming with me, you need to try and behave, or I will not hesitate to kick you out of the shiva.” She was dead serious as she continued walking to their flight. Fuck, Marc needed coffee. He turned to the Starbucks and got in line with Rebecca.

“I know you will, baby” He smirked a bit. “You might be the most terrifying girl I’ve dated.”

“Am I really scarier than Layla?” She asked, smiling at him, then ordering for both of them.

“Hm” he pretended to think it over. “You both have crazy eyes, let's call it a tie”

Marc Elias Spector had been in a lot of situations in his life. Recently, meaning last week, he had agreed to being the avatar for an Egyptian god, because it was slightly better than death. Slightly. But as he sat in Rebecca’s living room with her and her fiance, he wondered if it was too late to choose the other alternative.

Jack didn’t like him. That was okay, he didn’t like Jack. He seemed arrogant, smug, harsh. But the worst part is, Rebecca was nervous. When was the last time he saw Becca nervous? She wasn’t even nervous around her dad. But she was nervous around Jack. She got him food and whiskey and whatever he wanted, and Marc couldn’t quite put his finger on how this felt wrong to him. Rebecca was a caretaker, she took care of Asa, she took care of Marc, and she even took care of her dad in the early years. But this… this felt like serving. This felt like watching Rebecca waitress as he waited for her shift to end.

“So Marc,” Jack starts “Becky tells me you work in Cairo, helping with expeditions?” So that's what she told him. Marc eased a bit, a swell of pride in his chest. Marc and Rebecca didn’t have secrets. Jack and her did.

“Yeah” He nods along with her lie seamlessly. “For now anyway. I tend to go where life takes me”

“Is that why you’re here? Work is too unstable, you need somewhere to crash?” It wasn’t so much what Jack said, but how he said it. He was condescending. Pretty rich boy who had everything laid out for him, felt superior to Marc. Did he know Rebecca’s struggles with housing? Did he make her feel bad for it? Or did she keep that part of her life from him? Was she ashamed of her time homeless, or was she ashamed of Marc?”

Marc felt himself flaring with anger, but he looked at Becca, sitting so far away on the other side of the couch. She could feel the tension. For her, he’d play nice. “Nope” He smiled as best he could. “Just wanted to be here for the wedding” he lied through his teeth.

“I bet you do” Jack smiled. Marc smiled. Becca smiled. Marc swore he saw her mouth ‘fuck’

Silence persisted.

Being in Chicago was not one of Marc’s favorite places to be, but it wasn’t one of the worst. Chicago is a major city, the various bullshit odd jobs he worked would bring him there from time to time, and he got used to being in the vicinity, seeing old sights and the familiar culture. This would be slightly more difficult, as Rebecca’s family was in the same neighborhood as his, but as long as he avoided the surrounding streets to his house, he’d be okay. Rebecca would never ask him to enter that area. She didn’t even ask him to come, honestly. Marc was already going to go, of course, but when he found out Jack was attending the services, he wasn’t going to leave Rebecca alone for a second

This had been… tense, the last few days. There had been times the last two months that they bickered, even fought, but it wasn’t bad. She was hurting, she was suffering. She always apologized, even when she didn’t really need to. That was a byproduct of Jack too. Rebecca was proud, always admitting when she was wong, but never when she wasn’t. Marc allowed her to apologize, picking his battles. She was starting to look more like herself again; color coming back in her face, the chemicals fading out of her hair, allowing it to curl again. She even cut it off again and dyed it closer to her natural color again. She was also acting more like herself, the bickering was evidence of that. But the last few days were different. Marc found himself with a bunch of feelings he couldn’t really discern, an anger in him he didn’t feel comfortable with, an anger that seemed to center around her, and he couldn’t place why.

So he had been distancing himself, not wanting to take his anger out of her in any way, allowing Steven to take the body a majority of the time. Rebecca noticed, but didn’t say anything. He assumed she figured it had to do with going back to Chicago, but there was something else.

When they arrived at Rebecca’s childhood home, he felt the nervousness he often did in their childhood while standing at this very doorstep. Some things never change.

“Marc.” Carl was standing in the doorway. Maybe it’s the memory being distorted by the haze of the past, or maybe he really was towering over Marc. Carl was always tall, that’s where Becca got it. By the end of puberty, Rebecca was an inch taller than Marc, sanding at 5’10. Marc was always on the shorter side, but at 14 he had barely started his growth spurt. Embarrassingly, people thought Rebecca was his older sister in more than one situation. Right now, Marc wished he was taller, stronger, braver. He wanted to fight for her, stand up to her dad, stand up to his mom… but right now, they were both pretty helpless. The most they could do was be there for each other, and protect each other in school. Rebecca’s grades were significantly better, she helped Marc with school so he could avoid getting whipped when grades came in. Likewise, although they never told people they were dating, Marc’s protective grasp on her shoulders out in public and the way they were attached at the hip generally kept her safe from men at school. At 14, he wasn’t exactly the strongest in the high school, but he had absolutely thrown punches for her before. And for other reasons. And for no reason. Point being, although he wasn’t strong, he was known for being a bit crazy. Psycho was thrown around a lot.

“Hello, Mr. Levi” Marc tried his best to be polite. He had seen what Carl had done to Rebecca, and always tried to avoid that, although he suspected he wouldn’t dare, considering his dad's position in the temple. Marc had always told Rebecca he’d talk to his dad for her, get Rebecca and Asa help, but Rebecca had the martyr complex of a catholic. She rationed that Carl only hurt her, not Asa, and being sent to foster care would absolutely hurt him. It wasn’t Marc’s place to make that choice for her, so he minded his business. “Is Becca home?”

Carl looked at him for a moment, considering the boy. “Yeah, she’s in her room, but I think we should have a talk first.” The tone he used was strangely calm, the tone Wendy used before she hurt Marc, it sent a shiver down his spine, but he was in no position to argue, stepping inside the hallway at Carl’s motioning. “What’s going on with you guys.”

Marc had wondered how long until this conversation happened. Elias and Wendy both teased Marc about her, one more gently than the other, but neither malicious. Wendy mostly referred to her as Marc’s “little girlfriend” on good days, or “That Levi girl” on bad ones. His dad hadn’t exactly given him “the sex talk”, school’s lackluster sex ed had covered most of what Marc knew. Not having friends that weren’t Rebecca really cut into his knowledge on the subject, and his dad certainly didn’t have any hidden porno mags to find, so the barebones basics of public education had to due on the mechanical end. What Elias did give him was a very basic, but very straightforward (and very humiliating) talk on consent. Of course, that wasn’t the word he used, but that was the theme of one of the few talks his dad had given him in regards to being a man, and it had happened after Elias asked what his relationship with Rebecca was last year. With a blushing Marc desperately trying to escape the conversation, insisting they were just friends, Elias told him all that he really needed to know about sex. Make sure sh’s comfortable, make sure she actually wants it. Don’t force, don’t beg, don’t bargain for it. Make sure she’s enjoying herself, and stop if she’s not. Years latter, although Marc could write a book on his dads mistakes, he would always respect his dad for not giving the simple “don’t do it”. Marc had barely ever thought about kids, Layla didn’t want them, and he wasn’t really sure he could do it right, but he knew if he ever did, this was one talk he’d pass down to his son.

He had a feeling this is not where Carl was going.

Asa opened the door. “Hey Becca” He greeted his sister with a warm hug, and it seemed like the grief may have swept away some tension, at least for now. “Marc” he extended a hand, which Marc shook. “Thanks for coming, it’s nice to see you again.” He sounded sincere, at least.

“You too Asa. I’m sorry for your loss”

Asa smirked, and looked a little more like the preteen Marc knew way back. “No, you’re not, but it’s fine, please, come in.”

Rebecca went right to work with the groceries that were delivered, prepping for the gathering after the funeral. People from the temple would probably drop by, offer condolences, and maybe stop to chat to see what the gossip was on Asa and Rebecca’s lives, but no one really liked Carl, and their family wasn’t that big. Marc could tell she was nervous. Jack was literally only going to be there to piss torment Rebecca and piss off Marc. Men like Jack usually separated their partners from their family, Jack’s method was a bit different. Jack was big on portraying perfection, abusive families and sibling tensions wouldn’t do. Rebecca was forced back into a relationship with her dad and brother. She wasn’t upset about seeing Asa, she counted that as a blessing, but Jack was in total control, stepping into the role Marc occupied before, hence Asa taking Jack’s side in the divorce. They still played video games online regularly, despite not talking to Rebecca since she left, until he called to let her know their dad had a heart attack.

Services went as expected, a jewish funeral despite Carl’s lack of participation in the faith. When he felt Rebecca’s hand squeeze Marc’s hard, he knew that meant she spotted Jack. She remained strong, always so strong, his pillar, his rock. He would be that for her.

Marc didn’t leave her side for a second. She spent most of her time in the kitchen prepping and plating and cooking, not exactly eager to be in the room with her family who all just adored Jack. He watched her angrily cut a cucumber with the aggression of a butcher. “You doing okay Beccs? We can-”

She slammed the knife on the cutting board, and Marc was thankful she couldn’t see him startle. “Marc Spector, suggest we leave again and I’m kicking you out.” She stared at the wall ahead of her.

“Beccs-”

She turned to him. “Don’t ‘Beccs’ me, Marc, you don’t want to be here, so just go, go back to the hotel, or go back to New York, I don’t fucking care, I’ll deal with this myself.”

He groaned. “Of course I don’t want to be here Rebecca! Nothing good happened her, not in this house, not in this city, nothing, being here brings back bad memories I try my damnest to forget, and I don’t understand why you insist on being here!”

“He’s my dad”

Marc threw up his hands. “I get it, Rebecca! I get it, you’re morally superior to me, you go to your dads funeral, you forgive him after everything he did to you, you forgive Jack, again and again, you’re better than me, I get it”

Marc… mate…

Rebecca stared at him, and Marc braced for a fight, for her to yell at him and for them to bicker like they had been, but instead her face just softened. “Is that why you’ve been so upset this week?”

“Yes” He practically whined out, feeling relief at being able to pinpoint the source of his anger.

“Honey…” She took his hand. “I’m not blaming you for not going to your mom's shiva… I don’t think I’m better than you. Our lives were very, very different, your relationship with Wendy was very different. You hadn’t even talked to her for, what? A decade? You did what you could, and I don’t blame you for the choices you made. My dad and I… things were more complicated, there was good and bad”

Marc closed his eyes, shaking his head. “There was good with us to, it’s just… it’s hard to separate it from the rest”

Rebecca wrapped her hands around his waist, drawing the man she loved in for a hug, relieved to know where the tension that had surrounded them came from. “Marc, honey, I know. These things will always be complicated. We have to deal with them in our own way. For me, this is closure. Laying it all to rest. For you, it would be letting her win.” She kissed his forehead softly. “I’m so proud of you, I’ve always been so fucking proud of you. You’ve come so far, despite everything, and you’ve done so much of it alone.”

He shook his head as he nestled into her neck, smelling her. “No, not alone. I had you, I had Layla, I had Steven, even if he didn’t know it.”

“Baby, you shouldered so much alone, don’t mitigate how far you’ve come, how strong you are, I’m so, so proud”

They stayed like that for a moment, so lost in the embrace that they didn’t notice anyone enter the room.

“I expected as much”

Jack

Marc felt felt her rip on his tighten, and he turned her away from where the voice was, putting his body between them.

“What. Is. Going on with you guys?” Carl repeated, when Marc was too scared to answer.

“Nothing sir” He managed to get out, trying not to shake, trying to stand tall and brave.

“You guys aren’t fucking?”

Looking back, Marc couldn’t fathom every saying that to a 14 year old his daughter was friends with, but Carl had no tact.

“No sir, we’re friends”

Carl laughed at that, putting a hand on Marc’s shoulder. “That’s what they always say”

Wincing at the touch, he put his brave face back on, refusing to back down. “We’re not-ah!” Carl’s grip on his shoulder squeezed down painfully tight, digging into his skill, and all Marc’s mustered bravado dissipated.

“I honestly don’t care, but I ain’t raising another kid”

If Marc was less terrified, he’d laugh at that. Becca raised herself and Asa.

Carl continued. “You get her pregnant, I will kill both of you.” He shoved Marc into a side table, causing Marc to fall down into it, the commission drawing Becca out of her room at the end of the hall.

When she saw Marc on the floor, she quickly ran to him, but was stopped when her dad clamped a hand over her mouth, shoving her against the wall. “I’ll tell you what I told your little boyfriend. You can be a whore all you want, but you get knocked up, you’re both dead. Understood?”

Unable to speak with the hand over her, she simply glared at him, unwilling to give in.

His hold on her face began bruising, making Rebecca yelp. “Is that clear? Or do I have to ask Marc?”

She glanced over to where Marc was frozen on the floor. She didn’t want him hurt. Rebecca swallowed her pride and nodded. Carl let go, and walked away, mumbling obscenities about Rebecca she didn’t even hear, she was quickly at Marc’s side. “C’mon, let’s go to the library, start on that paper”

“I’m sorry” He muttered as he stood up, shaking from the interaction.

She helped him stand. “For what?”

“For no stopping him, I wanted to… but I just… I froze” Marc looked down, embarrassed, his masculinity already at a low point, this did not help.

“Marc” She steadied him, forcing him to look her in the eye. “It is not your job to protect me. I can handle myself”

“I know”

But Marc felt like it was his job to protect her, ever since that first act of kindness she shared with him, and he continued to feel that way for the next 2 decades together. As they exited the house, Marc heard steps and turned around, catching Asa watching them leave with a look in his eyes Marc couldn’t read.

Jack was munching on a latke. “Good stuff. You always did like your food.” He punctuated the comment with a glance to her stomach.

Rebecca held Marc back by his shirt. “Jack, let’s not do this”

Asa entered the room. “Do what?” He frowned at Marc, who was clearly postering, gearing up for a fight.

Jack answered. “Rebecca is holding Marc back from fighting me” It wasn’t a lie, but a bit dramatic.

Asa scrubbed his face with his hands. “Fucking hell you two, this is why I didn’t want you to come. It’s always dramatics with you two!”

Marc scoffed. “Dramatics? Asa, you invited your sister's ex-husband-”

“We’re still married,” Jack reminded them.

Marc ignored him. “To your dad shiva, that’s insane! Do you have any idea what he did to her?”

Asa crossed his arms. “I know all about the divorce, Spector, that’s half the reason dad had the heart attack!”

“You’re blaming me for that?”

“YES!” Asa shouted. “It’s always you Marc! Ever since I can remember you’ve caused her problems! Jesus, the amount of time he kicked her stomach because he thought you knocked her up-”

Marc didn’t know that, but when he turned to Rebecca, the guilty look on her face confirmed she had never intended on him finding out.

Jack was smirking, allowing the scene to play out.

Asa continued. “All this time, you constantly fucked her life up, constantly got in the way of things, leading her on, then she finally moves on from you, gets married, and you can’t even let her have that?”

Marc felt like he could burst out of his skin. The suit he had rented was stiff and uncomfortable, the church was way too much. Too hot, too noisy, to crowded. Everything was happening at once. Were christian churches always like this? He picked at a scab on his arm, cracked his knuckles, and tore at his nails, trying to find something for his fingers to do to calm him, but Christ, when was this supposed to start? He checked his watch. 10 minuets ago. He supposed it was normal for weddings to start late, all the girls needing their hair and make up done, the guys running off to grab one thing or another, everyone probably drunk by this point. Did baptists drink? Yeah, yeah, they did, it was in the services. Wait, no, that was the catholics. Were baptists the ones that did the speaking in tongues? Or was that pentecostals? Or Calvinists? No, Calvinists were the ones with the really bleak outlook. Was Calvinism a religion or a philosophy? Which one was the 19 Kids and Counting people?

Marc was interrupted from his strange thought process by a hand on his shoulder. “Marc?”

It was Asa, all dressed up for his role as a groomsman. Damn, he hadn’t seen the kid in a long time, he really grew up.

“Hey man” Marc stood up, shaking the hand of the boy he had thought of as a little brother for much of his early life, but who had become a stranger. “Good to see you.”

He nodded, not impressed. “She’s asking for you”

“Who?”

“Who the fuck else do you know here?”

Rude, but the point was made.

Marc frowned. “Why?”

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Asa practically dragged Marc out of the pew. “I don’t know, but she won’t walk until you talk to her”

Asa dragged him to the door to where Rebecca was, through a sea of bridesmaids and a wedding party he didn’t recognize a face of. Must all be Jack’s friends.

Marc went to open the door, but Asa stopped him. “Marc, listen. I know we haven't gotten along the last few years, but I need you to do this for me” he was serious, earnest, but Marc was wary, nodding for Asa to continue with his request. “Let her have this” He must have seen the confusion in Marc’s face. “Whatever it is you two have had, it needs to end. At least in the form it’s been in. She cannot keep waiting for you to pop in and out of her life. She needs a new start, and this is it. Jack is good for her, keeps her focused, takes care of her. She has a good life with him. I don’t know what she needs you for but.” Asa closed his eyes and sighed before opening them. “But don’t get in the way of her happiness, Spector. Please, man to man” There was a pleading look in Asa’s eyes.

Marc wondered if Asa was right, had Marc gotten in the way of Rebecca’s life? ‘Whatever it is you two have had’ what did Asa think they had? Did Rebecca say something? Did she have the same feelings Marc felt?

Asa took his hand off the handle, and Marc entered the room. Rebecca was pacing the floor, turning when she heard it open.

Marc watched Asa’s face for a while. The little boy he had helped raise had changed a lot over the years, for better or for worse, but even after everything, even after all the fights he had witnessed Becca get in over the years, he cared deeply for his sister, his mind had just been skewed and manipulated by their dad and Jack, not unlike Rebecca. Marc was about to let him have this, to back down like Becca’s touch requested of him, when she spoke.

“You think Marc is the reason all this happened?”

All three men turned to her.

“Marc has done nothing but try to protect me since he was 9 years old, Asa. You are too young to remember a time before him, but dad was always like that! And Jack? Jack and I aren’t getting a divorce because of Marc, we’re getting a divorce because he beat the shit out of me!”

Asa’s brow furrowed in confusion, glancing at Jack with suspicion.

“This” She motioned to the pink scar on her face. “I didn’t trip and spill coffee, Jack threw tea at me!”

Marc watched as Rebecca laid it open for Asa, finally letting her brother in on the secrets she’d been keeping.

Jack tried to deny it, but she talked over him, only booking at her brother as she stepped forward. “Dad attempted to make me miscarry an imaginary baby, but he,” she pointed at Jack “He purposely got me pregnant, which I did not agree too, and then beat me so bad I bruised my rips and actually miscarried.”

Asa believed her, turning to Jack. “What the actual fuck man?”

Jack stayed cool, calm, attempting to talk his way out of it. “I didn’t do shit, c’mon Asa, you know me.”

Asa looked to Rebecca.

She looked at him gently, eyes filled with a sadness he rarely saw in her. “Asa, I wouldn’t lie to you, not about this”

Asa wanted to believe Jack. It was easier to believe Jack, to believe their dad, to hate Marc and blame him for Rebecca’s choices, but when he looked at them… All he could see was the ever-honest, painfully honest face of the woman who raised him, and the friend who had been there when his dad wasn’t. “Jack, get the fuck out.”

“Asa-”

“GET OUT!” Asa shouted, placing himself between Jack and his sister.

Jack turned to Rebecca “This isn’t over, I’m dragging this divorce out as long as possible, and I’ll bleed you dry while doing it”

Marc stepped back up. “Leave without making a scene, or I swear to god-”

Jack turned to Marc “I will fucking kill you” Before leaving.

Asa started to go after him for that threat, but Marc caught his shoulder. Asa turned quickly into Marc, taking him in an embrace. “I’m sorry” he muttered, apologizing for the last 20 years of near-silence and anger

Rebecca joined their hug. “Oh Ace, it’s okay”

Marc held him in a hug, relieved to have both the people he grew up with in his arms, safe, out of Jack and Carl’s grasp.

“Becc, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know” She pulled back, brushing a dark curl that wasn’t unlike Marc’s out of his face. “Let’s get through day one of the shiva, we can talk more after people leave, okay?”

Feeling more like a baby brother than he had in years, Asa nodded.

She was stunning, something straight out of a wedding magazine. Extensions in her hair that was half up, the rest in loose curls that cascaded from a tiara. The dress had to be designer, an a-line off the shoulder, low neckline and floral and lace detailing, something she looked beautiful in, but so distinctly not her.

Her face lit up when she saw him. ‘Marc! HI!” She stayed away from him, instead of rushing to take his hand like she used to. Marc supposed this was more appropriate, seeing as she was always married.

“Hey, metukah, what’s going on?”

She wrung her hand nervously. Since when was her nervous? “I’m just… just anxious, thats all. Big day” A slight chuckle. She was hiding something.

“Are you… are you having second thoughts?”

Her face faltered. “Well, not exactly… just… thoughts in general…”

He paused. This could be it. He could tell her. Two decades after meeting, 15 or so years after they gave their bodies to each other that night, he could do it. He could tell her loved her. He could take her away. “Becca.. Do you want to go?”

She hesitated. “I… I don’t know…”

“Is something wrong with him? Did Jack do anything?”

Rebecca shook her head. She wasn’t lying. He knew when she was lying, which was rare. “I’m just nervous”

“Why did you want to talk to me?” Give me something, he thought something that says you love me.

“You’re my best friend”

Was he? They had spoken less and less since she started seeing Jack…

He could tell her. He should tell her.

I love you I love you I love you

Are you sure you want her in this right now?

A chill ran through Marc’s spin with that ever more familiar voice in his head, he didn't dare look to the side. He knew who was standing there, a grim reminder of who he had become.

Marc didn’t have a stable job, a steady incoming, consistent housing.

He was the avatar for a god

He was a killer

He couldn’t provide anything for her. He never had been able to give her what she deserves, what Jack can. With Jack, she’ll never have to worry about living on the streets or when she’s going to eat. Jack’s never killed.

Marc thought through the faces of everyone he killed, every death he was responsible for.

She deserved better than what he could offer her.

“Rebecca, honey, it’s just jitters, that’s all” It killed him to say it. “He’ll take care of you, you’ll be happy.” Marc had to fight back the anger at himself, the frustration he felt, the tears of helplessness. This wasn’t his life. He couldn’t give her anything. This was the life she deserved. Pretty things, safety, security. He approached her, taking both her hands in his. “Rebecca, you make a beautiful bride”

She nodded, taking in the sight of him, and for a moment he could almost imagine he was at the alter with her, that it was him she was marrying… he let go on her hands before the fantasy took over.

When the night ended and guests left, Marc, Becca and Asa sat in the living room like they had done countless times throughout the years, catching up, reminiscing, hashing over old beefs and memories. Marc sensed a change, a change for the better.

They were a family again.

***************

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#marc spector #marc spector fluff #marc spector fanfic #marc spector moon knight #jewish marc spector #marc spector jewish reader #marc spector jewish oc #marc spector oc #marc spector reader #moon knight #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fanfiction #marc spector hurt comfort #marc spector needs a hug

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