#LITERALLY 'the days i don't want to kill myself are extraordinary ..... there should be a word for it' !!!!!

[dendrochronologies]

-> hammond b3 organ cistern, by gabrielle calvocoressi

[finkmakescharacters]

This is Viramaire, a calm and poised but somewhat snarky undertaker. She's very gentle by nature and makes sure every family knows their beloved are in good hands. She has a dry wit and a playful side to her, which can lead to her being kind of a troll. Her hobbies include tarot reading, sewing and board games.

"I assume you expected me to be clad in black, oozing melancholy and calling out to those at rest as ravens circle overhead? How embarrassing, I must have picked up the wrong dry cleaning. Isn't that just absurd~?"

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

"Viramaire Ronove, at your service."

WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

"Weren't you just listening? Tsk tsk, keep up, love."

DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

"I should hope so; I chose the name. Didn't much care for the name my parents gave me, among other things, so I chose Viramaire. Elegant and enigmatic."

ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

"Wouldn't you like to know~?"

HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?

"None that I am aware of. I can read tarot cards, I suppose. Know a bit of demonology, but nothing extraordinary."

STOP BEING A GARY STU.

"You children keep using that phrase...I don't think it means what you think it means."

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR?

 "It may be hard to see with my glasses, but my eyes are a silvery blue."

HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR?

"A lovely light lavender."

HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

"Did you believe I spawned from nothingness? Well, actually, that's not too far from the truth..."

OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS?

"I have a stunning little boa~ His name is Asmodai. Would you like to see a picture? He's not quite full grown here, but this is a picture his previous owner sent me: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/59/51/63/5951636114c1c477e49b5a63b2737a8c.jpg "

THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

"Can't say I care for sports much. Never was an athletic sort. I always managed to get my glasses broken in gym classes as a child."

DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING?

"I love to sew. I actually design and sew all my own clothes. Much easier than going store to store looking for the right fit. Maybe I can whip up something for you sometime. Not without payment, of course~"

EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

"This is a very odd question. Are you referring to physical injury or emotional damage? I'm hardly a fighter but I'm sure I've torn out a few hearts in my day, though not all of them I regret~"

EVER….KILLED ANYONE BEFORE?

"I didn't mean literally ripping someone's heart out...The human ribcage is quite the durable beast."

WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

"I'm a female of the elven kind, can't you tell?"

NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

"Oftentimes I make dark or morbid jokes at inopportune times and it causes people to think I'm stark raving mad. Contrary to my sense of humor, I'm a relatively well adjusted, nonviolent woman. It just comes with the territory."

DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL?

"The groundskeeper at the cemetery. No, I'm not being facetious, she is really quite an interesting and complex person and I admire her thoughtfulness. She has some very interesting ideas on life, death, spirituality and religion. I believe her name is Gwendolyn Dagon."

GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

"Oh? Why do you ask~?"

DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

"I'm a bit old for lessons, but I'm flattered you felt the need to ask~"

DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?

"Marriage, yes. Children, absolutely not. I did not consent to existence so why would I bring that upon another?"

DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS?

"In my line of work? Unlikely."

WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

"Nothing I'd care to tell you, haha.~"

WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

"Typically I wear a blouse and trousers with a waistcoat and bow tie. I love intricate patterns on fabric."

DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

"I love, I have loved."

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF?

"You first, love."

WELL, IT’S NOT OVER YET!

"Oh, joy!"

WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS)

"The most middling of middle class to ever be middle class."

HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

"Quality over quantity, love."

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

"If it's banana creme pie, I will eat it. If it's the 1999 film American Pie, I will politely decline."

FAVOURITE DRINK?

"Strawberry milk. It reminds me of childhood. The less terrifying parts at least."

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE?

"There's this adorable little cafe not too far from my workplace. They have marvelous hot chocolate."

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?

"Can't say I am."

WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY?

"My, my, aren't we forward? You haven't even bought me dinner yet."

WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

"Don't really care for swimming, to be honest. I suppose a lake might be less crowded than a beach."

WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

"Around 98.6 degress, preferably with skin and a pulse."

ANY FETISHES?

"You're the one who asked about the last time I wet myself. Got a little urine kink there?"

SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

"Seme? Uke? Someone needs to read something other than Fruits Basket fanfiction~"

CAMPING OR INDOORS? 

"Indoors. There are far less insects indoors.

ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

"Over already? Hm, I was just starting to have fun with you."