#LET REVENANT SAY FUCK DAMNIT

[shvdowsdrowned]

I hope the context of this thumbnail is Revenant going: "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HEAD???"

[shortythescreen]

Personally.

Pairing(s): Revenant/Reader. 

Warning(s): Gun violence, fighting, descriptions of robotic injuries. 

Author’s Note(s): A commission for @kopperknots! I’m so honored you reached out to me for this and I can’t wait to work with you again, lovey <3 My first ever commission! So fun to write! I hope y’all enjoy! 

You’re not sure if the Apex Execs have noticed Revenant’s been spending more time with you or if they’re just hoping you’ll kick his ass on the field, but during this week’s match, you two aren’t on the same squad.

Your team isn’t a bad one – Bangalore is a great offensive Legend and Crypto is the definition of recon. Still, you can’t help but glance over at the simulacrum. He isn’t looking at you, optics trained on the screen displaying his team – Caustic and Mirage, poor Elliot. When his gaze finally cuts to yours around the bustling squads, taking their place on the dropship’s hissing floors, you know he’s thinking the same thing as you.

If we’re ever on opposite teams in the arena, we’ll let everyone else die first, so we can fight it out.

You like Anita, and even though Kim doesn’t talk too much, he seems like a nice guy. It almost makes you regret making that deal with Revenant. Your eyes cut his way again. He’s still looking at you. Then, he raises his thumb, dragging it across his throat and pointing directly at you.

Almost.

You huff loudly, whipping around so your back faces him. Kim glances your way, hands stuffed in his pockets, and his little nod over your head tells you he’s noticed your change in demeanor.

“You alright, kid?” Anita asks.

“Better than alright,” you mumble, “where are we dropping?”

Kim never has much an opinion on where to drop. He seems to like the city most, in part because there’s a smaller chance of his little drone getting shot.

In the end, Anita pushes for Sorting Factory. With how large it is, and far enough away from the dropship’s path, you’re certain you’ll be able to scrounge up some decent loot for the three of you. At least enough to defend yourselves with if another team has a similar idea.

You glance over your shoulder one time, snow whistling past your body as the floors lower. Revenant is leaning over Mirage, his long, skeletal body looming over the poor guy. You whistle once, loud, sharp, and the noise draws the attention of several others nearby. Revenant’s the slowest to react, his head turning like the ominous twist of a doll’s head in a horror movie. Those ocher eyes meet yours and you smirk at him before reaching up and slowly, deliberately, dragging your thumb across your throat.

You swear before you fall that he smirks.

-

Your squad faces off with not one but two others the second you drop. You slam your first into the face of an opponent, sending them tumbling back long enough for you to sweep a P2020 so generously left for you in one of the outside buildings of the factory. Just when they make to run at you again, you unload the clip into their chest, putting an extra bullet between their eyes for good measure.

It might not have been a good enough to waste all your ammunition but you’re frustrated, uncertain of just how many have chosen to drop with the rest of your team, who happen to be in the next building over. You broke off, thinking it wouldn’t be too busy an area with hot zone being in Overlook.

You were wrong. You’re crouched low, fitting an evo shield over your body, grabbing the L-Star placed next to it. For those who can control the damn thing, it does a hell of a lot of damage. For you? Well.

You’re just remembering how the hell to wrap your hands around the behemoth of a weapon when you feel it. Eyes, resting on your back, watching, sizing you up. You don’t even have to look up. You know it’s him.

You duck back into the building as the sound of gunfire ricochets near you – a Triple Take, you’re positive, three holes piercing the shabby metal of the building you’re inside. Low on ammo, with a gun you’re not entirely sure of how to use, you decide to book it – you can’t give him the satisfaction of hurting you this early.

“Jump tower! Get to the jump tower!” You yell into your comms as you leap out the opposite door, skittering out of the way of a grenade launched in your direction. “There’s another squad! We’re outnumbered.”

“Fuck me,” you hear Anita hiss. You barrel around, your body barely able to keep up with the sharp turn without sliding. Another shot fires and you growl, twisting around. He’s on top of the building you were just in, pointing his stupid fucking Triple Take down at you. He doesn’t fire right away, head cocking as he watches you.

“Poppin’ smoke!” You hear Anita, and suddenly you’re encased in it. “Make it two!”

You take the cover, sprinting to the jump tower, your boots pounding against the road beneath you. You leap for the rope, hanging on as the moving cord propels you upwards, towards the hot air balloon at the top. As you emerge from the smoke, your eyes cut to where he was. His expression comes harder to see the higher you go – but you do see the way he raises a hand, twiddling his fingers, then suddenly starts firing at Crypto, sliding down the building’s back to catch up to you and Anita.

Fuck.

You’re not able to retrieve Crypto. By the time you two double back to Sorting Factory, he’s timed out, and you make a note to apologize him to later. You and Anita press on but you can tell she’s distracted, bothered by having to leave a soldier behind.

The fight goes on and you and Anita take down an impressive number of teams for it only being the two of you. You’re able to pluck up purple shields from some of the death boxes left behind, and Anita finds a gold helmet, which you let her take to help charge up that heavy artillery of hers.

You two come across several of Caustic’s traps as you hurry to catch up with the closing rings. You tell yourself you’re not seeking them out.

“Enemy trap,” you say, pointing it out as Anita picks up some extra ammo. She nods her affirmation but is otherwise silent. You’re not looking for him. You’re not.

It’s down to this – three squads. You know in your bones he’s still in the fight, can feel it. You can’t tell how many there is left but the ring has closed you all into the Geyser. You and Anita are perched up on the building adjacent to the tunnel between here and the city.

“Enemy spotted, far,” Anita says. You lift your Hemlok, the 3X bruiser allowing you to see in less detail the enemy she’s talking about. Pathfinder. He’s sliding down the slope from that little gray area between sorting factory and here, grappling the ground to pull himself along. It’s then that you hear gunfire and you swivel up, finding Caustic and Revenant in hot pursuit.

Pathfinder must be alone. You watch, Pathfinder twisting, throwing a thermite at the two deadly Legends chasing him down. The thermite bursts beneath their feet and Caustic is caught in it, stumbling away from the flames. Revenant darts around. They disappear beneath the top of a building and a few tense moments pass. You glance Anita’s way. She’s watching too.

Your communicator beeps and you look down at it, the holographic screen appearing.

“Only two squads left,” you murmur, your wrist falling, the screen disappearing with it.

The fourth ring appears, and you groan in frustration as you realize that your squad is not inside of it. Which means you’ll have to get closer. Anita points two fingers to the building on your right-hand side and you nod, hopping down from the edge of your perch, landing light as a feather. You’re running, trying to keep your head low, when suddenly:

“Oscar Mike! I’m spotted!” Fuck, shit! You look up, watching three bullets sail over your head. You hiss, sliding around the side of the building and into a crate next to it. In the distance, you spot them: Revenant and Caustic, at the other end of Geyser. You switch your Hemlok into single fire, aiming down your sight, and start shooting.

You graze Caustic, inside the building, and he ducks. He and Revenant aren’t made for distance, which means you can press your advantage. “I’m going over there!”

“Wait, kid!” Anita cries into the com but you sprint over to the geyser, hopping into it. You hear the gunfire beneath you, the sound of Anita throwing her smoke grenades and trying to escape the hailstorm coming at her. “Heads up, droppin’ the pain!”

You launch yourself through the dropping of Bangalore’s rolling thunder, the earth shaking, splitting from each missile that hits. You land between two, a door on each side of you. One is thrown open and suddenly, you’re face to face with Caustic. Before he has the chance to react, to pull the trigger of his gun, you slam your gauntlets together, activating the electromagnetic force of your tactical. Caustic flies backwards, surged into one of his traps at the back of the room, sickly green gas sprouting from it. When you realize Anita’s bombs are about to go off, you bring him closer – directly into the line of fire.

The explosion sends you stumbling back, unable to hurt you, but definitely dazing you. You blink through the fog, the smoke, your wrists hissing with the remnants of their charge. Caustic is down, bleeding out, but instead of crawling away from you, he’s crawling closer. You cough, shaking your head back and forth, trying to raise your gun to end him when another whistling shot goes off overhead.

“Damnit! I’m down!” Anita hollers into your ear and you whip around, blinking your glazed vision as you realize that she tried to follow your path into the geyser. Whether it was by her own artillery or the shot that had gone off, she falls through the air, body landing with a hard thump onto the roof of the building.

You turn to go for her, to try and get her back up.

“So much for a professional soldier,” hisses a dark voice and you freeze. Your gaze turns to the enemy, the simulacrum you knew had marked you for death.

If we’re ever opposite in the field, we’ll let everyone die first…

There he stands, shouldering his triple take. Revenant’s golden optics whirl at you as he retrieves a prowler from his back instead. He hums an off tune, made worse by his static voice.

“Help!” Cries Caustic. He sounds indignant and as you briefly look in his direction, you realize he’s crawling towards Revenant. The simulacrum begins to sway his head from left to right, right to left, humming quietly. “Revenant-”

Revenant suddenly raises his prowler and he fires a single bullet between Caustic’s eyes. His teammate falls limp to the ground, heavy body thunking before he becomes a death box. Revenant places one foot on top of it, lifting himself up, and over, Caustic’s death box.

…Then we can fight it out. Personally.

“You’re disrespectful,” you say.

Revenant smirks. Quick as lightening he’s pulling his gun into position and you fire three shots, one ripping a hole in the side of his armor, another lodging in his shoulder, and the third? He moves entirely out of the way, upper body crashing to the side, creating a U shape. He looks like a contortionist at a twisted circus, putting on a performance.  

Before he even rises, he fires at you. You dart out of the way, knowing he’ll need to right himself to chase you. The buildings have enough room beneath them that you can slide underneath, trudge through the water and get to Anita. You slide into a crouch, water arcing around you like a fountain but before you can crawl beneath, find your teammate, he appears.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you hear before your ankles are being grabbed. He yanks you back out and your stomach hits the river with a painful sounding smack, hemlok sinking like a rock in the waves. It knocks the air from your lungs, and you gasp, ingesting water, and sand. You sputter it out, trying to hold your breath at the same time. Revenant flips you around, onto your back. “That’s not the deal we made.”

“Fuck off!” You cough. He starts to lift you by your ankles, thin, sinewy joints metallic and freezing against your soaked pants. The bones of your ankle crackle in protest as all your weight tries to bring you back down to the planet. “Fuck!”

“Where’s your fight?” He grits out. Your upper back leaves the floor and you grit your teeth, letting him pick you up. He hasn’t seen a fight. You arch your back, your hands surging out to grab his ankles and you yank with all your might. The angle he has you at doesn’t help but you must take him off guard because he crashes into the water with you, releasing one of your feet to try and catch himself.

Your back lands with a sickening thud into his hip plate and you groan, rolling off him. Running on adrenaline, on the instinct to go, to move, to survive, you kick him in the chin. You hear the crack before you even see the damage you’ve done, the heel of your boot catching him in the space that isn’t quite protected by his cowl.

“Mother fu-fu-fu-fucking skinsu-ui-ui-” his voice comes out like a scratched CD as you crawl away, trying to fish out an arc star to launch at him, to end this. He doesn’t let you get far though, his cold, metallic fingers grabbing your hip and yanking you back towards him. You hiss, spinning around and slamming your elbow into his face. Pain spiderwebs through you but its worth it to hear how he grunts. His long, spindly fingers stretch across your waist and he uses his iron grip to slam you back onto your back.

You’ve cracked parts of his face, long, deep fissures stretching across the side, towards where his nose would be. His jaw isn’t quite staying together, slightly gaping, slightly open, and you realize it’s moving, as though trying to catch up with what he was saying earlier.  

“What’s the matter, Revenant?” You breathe as he wedges himself between your thighs, golden optics flickering, whirring. “Cat got your tongue?”

His eyes narrow at you and he careens down, face mere inches from yours. Your breath hitches as he places his hand on top of your forehead and you realize he means to drown you.

“T-T-T-Time f- y-your end-d-d-d,” he murmurs, his voice hushed, low, like it’s only for you. Like if he whispers softly enough, the cameras won’t pick up how he speaks to you, jaw twitching and cracked, voice crooning and quiet, like a long-lost lover. You shudder beneath him, the chill of the water beginning to close in on you, swim before your eyes.

“Or yours,” you murmur back, whipping that P2020 from your hip. Before he has time to react, you unload the clip into his jaw, shattering his skull. His two-ton body slackens above yours and the whistles of your win sound in your ears. Instead of celebrating, of cheering, you close your eyes, and listen to the racing of your heart. Fuck.

[finding-the-path-to-your-heart]

IIIIIT'S QUEST TIME

So first off, the current quest info... Thing, is from octane. Octane, as usual, is being his wild-ass self.

So according to revenant, a little birdie told him. Wraith apparently knows all about little birdies. While this might point towards bloodhound, it still doesn't make sense to me that it'd be Bloodhound - in fact, his comment that wraith knows only makes me think it's Mirage even more.

Shadow-Revenant apparently declared war on the Syndicate and orchestrated a coup, which is interesting.

I can't deny it's very fun watching Revenant fucking with Loba. He doesn't want to kill her, though. Instead, he's entertained by their attempts to go behind his back.

He doesn't care about the other him, though - where he rules like a god over everyone. He's more interested in this world.

OH SHIT

So Bangalore was off with Bloodhound and Gibby, ready for something like this to happen.

Bangalore seems awfully defensive about someone not being a spy, but as crypto says, that's something a spy would say. Does this implicate Bangalore? Possibly. We know she doesn't like Loba, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate her enough to put everyone at risk with revenant.

Señor Loincloth is fucking amazing. Octane, you're amazing.

It seems like Bangalore isn't exactly on Loba's side, though - since she wants information from Yoko to take down Loba.

OCTANE CALLS LIFELINE THE CLOSEST THING HE HAS TO A SISTER

Octane being kinda jealous of Revenant's ability to do whatever he wants is... Dangerous.

Octane... Just decided to charge headfirst into the shadow dimension. Because of course he did. Damnit.

It makes sense that the next mission is called 'High Octane' though.

That being said? I've noticed something interesting. Something that adds even more fuel to my theory.

Mirage isn't around. The last time we saw mirage it was during the previous quest, when he was out in the shadow dimension, but from the moment he says that Wattson is down, he's gone. Even when everyone else is present.

Bangalore. Wattson. Caustic. Pathfinder. Lifeline. Gibraltar. Bloodhound. Wraith. Crypto. Loba. Revenant. Octane.

Everyone but him. And who else would want to avoid seeing Natalie and subsequently Revenant, than the person leaking the information? Someone who feels guilty about letting Wattson get hurt?

I'm more certain than ever that Mirage is the leak.

[whiskeyworen]

Almost Functional

“Cyrus? Are you there?” Tenna fiddled with the commset in the faceguard of the new gear. “I’ve got a lot of Mist-distortion futzing with my signal. Can you hear me?” She was in Lion’s Arch -- now, anyways. A few minutes ago she’d tried out the personal teleporter based off a particular insane Sylvari’s design. The device worked, feeding off the energy of the Mists once it was integrated with the armor, but... “Damnit... Cyrus, COME IN. I’m here in Lion’s Arch outside that damned Whispers bar you like so much. DO YOU READ ME?” Her earpiece crackled with static before a familiar voice replied. “Roger that, Tenna. You in one piece?” She lifted her arm, considering the horrific scarring and warping of the material, and glanced down her right side. Somewhere between Here and There, she and her suit had experienced...a burp. A transit burp. “Well, I’m unharmed, if that’s what you wanna know. But it seems we need to refine the PTs a little bit. I’m pretty sure I nearly came close to getting my right side spread across the rest of infinity or something.” A rueful chuckle greeted her. “Yeah, I think you’re right. Or we need to increase the shielding around the body for when someone teleports. We’ll never be able to sell these things if people end up melting midway through their journey.” “Cyrus? Does that mean...”

Cyrus, in his destination of Hoelbrak, looked at the melted mass that encased his right arm. The metal of the armor had run and fused, mutating into Gods-only knew what. Even though it felt rigid on the outside, he could still bend and twist his arm as if it were only encased in a cloth sleeve. “....Yeah. Mine melted a bit. Right side. Entire arm up to the shoulder, and I think part of my leg. It might have even melted the mask, but I can’t see without taking the faceplate off.” He shook his head. “Well, at least the atmosphere systems are working. I can’t even feel Hoelbrak’s chill.” There was a pause from the other end of the line. Then when Tenna spoke, she sounded mildly amused. “I think my outer right toe got caught too?... Yep. It’s all weird and floppy. Is the metal of the armor all floppy in the melty part too?” “Yeah it is. And I think we might have some kind of containment breach of Mist energy too.” He waved his hand through the air, disturbing the shadowy mist roiling off his armor. “I’ve got some black-ish Mist coming from my gear.” “....Mine’s bright pink-red.” Cyrus paused for a second, blinking slowly. He sighed heavily. “You know... I really hate how the Mists fuck with our concept of reality. Smoke should be SMOKE, not whatever damned color the underside of reality flips a coin for.” “At least we are alive.” A third voice chimed in gruffly.

“Ah, Verula. Was wondering when you’d join in the comm circuit. Did you end up at destination?” “Affirmative, Cyrus. I’m somewhere in Timberline Falls.” She grunted as she chopped an errant Mordrem vine that had gotten too close. “...They really need to burn all these Mordrem vines here. It can’t be healthy to leave them alive.” “Let the Pact deal with that. It’s not our concern.” Cyrus replied firmly. “Did you lose any bits? Or did you get through the teleport intact?” “If I had to give a percentage, I’d say it was 75% successful. The armor is ruined on one side entirely. I’m lucky I didn’t lose my sword too.” “...Is it the right side?” Tenna asked. “Indeed.” Tenna sighed on the other end of the line. “Three for three. That means we have a definite design fault to find. Either it’s in the design of the teleporter, or it’s inherent in the armor itself. This is going to be a pain in the ass to find you know.” “Scarlet must have known something more about rapid Mist-movement than we do.” Cyrus replied. “I know she teleported without suffering this kind of damage because I was there when she was using it. But she was so paranoid by that point that she kept her best ‘toys’ to herself. We’re lucky we recovered even part of the blueprints.” Tenna made a disgruntled affirmative sound. “I’ll get back to the drawing board. Maybe I’ll find that sylvari Revenant that hitched a ride a while back, and question her about the Mists. Friggin’ twig was lost in them for so long, maybe she learned something special about them. Something no one else is talking about.” “Do that.” Cyrus acknowledged. “Keep me posted.” He glanced over at a glass window nearby, admiring the ornate cloak and the look of the protective faceplate on his helmet. The way the armor sat on him. The twin emergency knives incorporated into the chestplate and boot. It reminded him of something... “Heh. I always wondered what it would be like to be a Guardian..” He mimed pulling a pistol out and shooting, grinning under his faceplate at the way he looked. The comm was silent, before Tenna asked. “Uh... You’re not a Guardian, Cyrus. You’re some kind of fucked up Ranger that loves technology. Aren’t you?” He flushed with embarassment; he had forgotten to turn the comm off. “Nevermind. It’s just... a memory of an old game I liked. One with high technology, science that seemed like magic, magic that seemed like science, a sleeping god, and wizards from the Moon...” “....Right. You’re gonna have to get me drunk one night and explain whatever the fuck that means to me.” She sent back. He could hear the raised eyebrow in her voice. “Yeah. I will.” He cast one final glance at the mask on his face, under the hood of the cloak. Always wanted to be a Hunter Guardian. Guess I’ll have to settle for this. “You’ll either like it, think it’s weird, or think it’s dumb as hell while I explain it...” “Teleport to Lion’s Arch and I’ll meet you at this dumb bar, okay?” Tenna replied. “Don’t stand me up.” “On my way.” Cyrus replied, tapping a series of buttons under the left cuff of his armor. There was a whoosh-whoomph of imploding air, and he popped out of reality, leaving a quickly dispersing cloud of blackish Mist.

[tanoraqui]

Some thoughts on The Raven Strategem, while I sit here tragically bereft of both The Stone Sky (next Hugo book I really fucking want to read) and Revenant Gun (last MoE book, which I SHOULD put off until I read all the other Hugo noms but lbr if my hold comes in that’s like...50/50 chance at best):

The Raven Strategem is the Mwennin story of building a path to your enemy on the backs of your dead soldiers. Cheris actually does relatively well at NOT doing this - as opposed to some people, coughHellspincough coughKelCommandcough - but also, this is how all war works. Children in caskets for power, suicide formations, letting sending your favorite brother to pull a suicide mission to assassinate 2/3 of the heads of state...there’s a cost, and it is lives.

This was also addressed in Ninefox Gambit - it’s a trilogy about fighting, about war. Ninefox Gambit was more about WHY people fight, though, I think. There heretics fighting for ideals like democracy vs the Kel fighting just because orders said to. Both camps, in fact, had a hidden fox in their midst - Vahenz among the heretics, revealed to have been fighting for...it’s a little unclear. She’s an “agent at large”, but employed by whom is never said. She seems to be a fairly free agent, encouraging chaos wherever she is before moving on. The other fox, of course, is Jedao, who fights, as is revealed, because some things simply cannot be borne.

Though they’re the sole survivor, neither Cheris nor Jedao is the main character of The Raven Strategem, which is neat. Oh, an inordinate amount of time is spent by reader and characters alike trying to figure out what the hell is going on in her head, but the reason the POV is elsewhere is that Cheris isn’t really having much development - she’s getting a job done. She’s the natural disaster that the rest of the characters contend with, pushing them forwards. The book suffers a little, imo, in how clear it is who the winner is going to be - we all know, or at least I sure did, in part admittedly bc I’d read the back of the 3rd book, that the real fight is with Nirai Kujen in Revenant Gun. But that IS the point. Kujen is the danger because calendrical warfare is about hearts not guns, and he’s the only person who has a goddamn clue what is going in Jedao(/Cheris)’s. The Hexarchate is fucked because they lack key information:

This isn’t Shuos Jedao

To the extent that it IS Shuos Jedao, such that it matters, Hellspin Fortress...well, he did snap, but he was never mad. He’d been coming for their throats since he was a teenager, and even if he hadn’t been, they’ve done more than Cheris can bear, too. For the exact same reasons.

Servitors are people too

(Kujen seems mostly unaware of this, too, though it’s possible he’s wised up by Revenant Gun. That may be a problem.)

So, while Cheris provides the dramatic background action, The Raven Strategem does like any really good book turns into an essay disguised as a novel. In this case, the subject is loyalty. You have Khiruev, standing in for most of the Kel as she’s yanked around by the blatantly false, induced, wrong loyalty of formation instinct - until she gets a chance to choose, first to die for a belief and then to live because, frankly, why die if you don’t have to. (Suicidehawk no longer, hm?) You have Brezan, who is loyal to Kel Command because he chooses to be - but it was never really Kel Command. It was to the people. “the hexarchate was a terrible place to live, but it would be an even worse one if no one with a conscience consented to serve it....serve, and hope that serving honorably made some small difference.” (I love him a lot.) we get that line while he’s waiting in a cell thinking that basically Kel Command can stuff it, but he needs to get back to save Khiruev - whose first impression as his general was to tell him to “help me never to forget that it’s people [raven soldiers] that we send out to die.”  Real personal loyalty is earned by looking out for those who give it, service for service. This is what convinces Brezan to give Cheris a chance, that the swarm has been looked after in his absence. This is the start of Khiruev giving her alliegiance to Jedao/Cheris, that Cheris firmly refuses Khiruev’s offer of her death. (Not one more raven soldier than necessary.)

Earning loyalty, says this book, is also a matter of vulnerability. Khiruev’s request of Brezen “wasn’t the sort of confidence you’d expect as a newcomer.” This is emphasized in the third plotline/character, Mikodez - hexarch of the faction famed for backstabbing, yes, I see and appreciate your use of irony there, Lee. Mikodez’s paramount goal the protection and betterment of his people - over and over he says, “I do my job”, and that job is the Shuos. Which is why he has a secretary who keeps trying to convince him to accept immortality and a brother who drops to his knees to call him “Hexarch” and ask to go on a suicide mission. That was the only time we’ve heard “I’m your gun” earnestly - no Kel would count, with formation instinct, and Jedao is either heavily ironic or outright lying whenever he does it. And then Istradez asks if any of it is real, or is everything a game now...and Mikodez gets right down on his knees, too. He wins an argument with Zehun by sending them all the plans he’s ever come up with to kill them. If you want to be a leader, if you want people to trust themselves to you, you have to return the favor.

Maybe that’s why Cheris gets people signing up for her ideals more than her own self. She’s too goal-oriented, too Jedao, to be vulnerable these days. Hurricanes don’t flinch. 

It’s interesting that Istradez’s fate runs up against Cheris’s insistent refusal of Khiruev’s death. But then, I already said - Khiruev’s wasn’t true, not the first one. That was formation instinct. The Vrae Tala was real. 

...all that said, I really don’t like how we still don’t, like, have a basic explanation of how calendars work? My guess is, if you manipulate time and how humans perceive reality, it can allow you further warp reality to produce the “exotic” effects. But, like Cheris caused a “calendrical spike” - HOW? Just by sitting in her room doing math? Was it all the servitors around the Hexarchate changing their clocks, or something? Did she need to be traveling, or was that purely a distraction, and she could have done this all from a hotel? I want just a couple sentences explaining that, damnit, and after that I think I could comfortably roll with it. 

Also, ngl, for Hugo’s voting...the “Not one more child” scene from Obelisk Gate is sticking with me harder than anything in Raven Strategem, so if The Stone Sky can live up to that...And we have all the other books to read :D Maybe I’ll end up writing an off-the-cuff essay on all of them; that could be fun.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Waverly And The Silent L-Word

"My L-Love." (Jesus fucking christ Waves you're gonna kill me.) That TINY TINY hiccup on the L-word. How long has she been refusing to say it? To have it come out so short and shocked like that. How long has she refused to say it? To have her pause right after acknowledging it. Just for that moment, was she terrified of what word she'd just unleashed. Cause Lemme tell you, Waverly Earp and the L-Word... big fucking deal. Waverly Earp loved her mom. She remembers just enough to know that. And she remembers waking up one quiet morning and padding down the stairs. Willa still asleep, Wynonna still asleep, Ward passed out at the kitchen table surrounded by Empty bottles. And the car being gone from the drive. I bet she waited up every night and every morning until kindergarten started just to see if maybe her mother was coming back. I bet Waverly heard everyone in her family but Wynonna say her mother left because of her. I bet she learned early love doesnt make people stay. Waverly loved Bobo. Bobo her friend, her best friend, her only friend. Who played with her and who pulled her out of the lake and who brought her books from the library when Ward wouldnt. Waverly loved Bobo. After the Homestead gets attacked, she lies awake calling for him, wishing hard for him to appear. because he ALWAYS did before - whenever she needed him - he's be waiting just beyond the tree line. But now her Daddy is dead and Willa probably is and Wynonna is in a hospital she hates and Waverly only gets to see her for a few hours every saturday - then every other saturday when Wynonna misbehaves and loses privileges. Even Chrissy can't compare to Bobo. Six year old Waverly probably sat up in Gus and Curtis house and wondered why her only friend left her. If he loved her, if she was his angel, shouldnt he be here? She'd been momma's angel too. But that hadn't stopped her from leaving. Maybe, baby Waverly thinks, that's her curse. Waverly loves Wynonna Wynonna was in and out of Waverly's life from the time she was in first grade to when she graduated high school. And then Wynonna was gone entirely. and there were days Waverly wondered if she'd come back at all. Waverly loved Wynonna and Wynonna left. Waverly's older now. and she knows the only curse on her is the Earp one. but even so... it still seems like everyone Waverly dares to love is destined to leave her. She never told Gus she loved her. A kind of insurance. If waverly never loved Gus, Gus wouldnt leave. She never told Curtis either, until he was gone. And as much as she knows that was the damn revenants it's hard not to wonder if it isnt her too. Everyone Waverly loves leaves... or dies. Momma left. Bobo left. Wynonna left. Curtis Died. Shorty Died. Even Shorty's Bar, when Gus sells it, isnt Immune to Waverly's own personal curse. And then there's Nicole. Nicole... Sweet, beautiful, sexy, funny, tall, vivacious, strong, steady Nicole.. As soon as she kisses her, Waverly starts resisting the urge to think too hard about it. Think too hard, and she'll know she's falling for Nicole. And that's bad. she can't fall in love with her. Love is terrifying. Love leaves. Willa nearly proves it too. Waverly had given her love a voice in a moment of desperation, because maybe just maybe it could save nicole from Willa. and before she'd even looked to see if Nicole hard heard what she told Wynonna, Willa had struck Nicole in the chest with a bullet anyways. The moment Waverly sees the bulletproof vest she is shocked and overjoyed and thanks every deity she can think of. And bless Nicole. Prepared, smart, going-where-the-danger-is Nicole. Still. As soon as Waverly has a moment to breathe, she's terrified all over again. She loves Nicole Haught. and yes, Willa didnt succeed in taking her away, but that doesnt mean something else wont. Waverly wishes she'd never used the L-word as a bargaining chip. She stuffed it back down into the depths of her heart and chokes it back down each time it tries to bubble up. She loves Nicole Haught. But if Waverly lets that out into the air, into the light of day, then it would only be a matter of time before the universe took Nicole away too.. Nicole says I love you. Nicole says it like it's a breath of fresh air. And Each time she says it Waverly chokes a little more on an L-word of her own. Even while they're fighting. Even in the hospital. Hell... "We are not doing this now." Because to Waverly I love you is always followed by goodbye and holy hell is this not goodbye. Nicole's future is dire but hell if Waverly is going to put the odds anymore against her. "I'll see you when you wake up." she tells Nicole instead. But even holding back the L-Word isnt enough. And Waverly isnt ready to say goodbye, no. Not a chance in hell. Greta. The Iron Witch. Greta can help. Waverly goes to her and all but pleads. And in her desperation, she loses her grip on that dreaded word "My L-Love." My Love... For one terrifying moment Waverly feels the dread of having lost her grip on that word. But then the witch agrees to help and Nicole is getting a cure. And Soon she is sitting up and yawning and smiling at Waverly like she was never dying. Like this wasnt the second-close call in 3 freaking months. When Nicole wakes, Waverly kisses her until they're breathless and they fall into the hospital bed together as Waverly cries... and the word, the cursed word, bubbles up in Waverly's throat. "I lo..." Waverly stops and chokes the word back. She covers it up with a sob. "I almost lost you." Waverly says to Nicole instead. "I'd never leave you." Nicole says back. "God I love you Waverly, I'm so sorry..." Waverly Earp Loves Nicole Haught. And that terrifies her. Because everyone Waverly loves leaves. And besides Wynonna, Waverly loves Nicole more than every single other person she has ever loved. And every person she loves leaves. And Damnit if the L-Word isn't going to stay locked up where it belongs for just as long as Waverly can manage it. Because Waverly loves Nicole Haught. But she's terrified to say it. And she's not at ALL ready to face that fear.