#LET ME SORT MY SUBSCRIPTIONS AO3
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Me: okay time to read all those dw fanfics I've been meaning to read
My brain: if we don't do a monotonous physical task right now I'm goING TO GO INSANE!!
#ace writes sometimes#Reading#i have Sasha's fic bubblegum open in one tab my gifted fic for the tentoo gift exchange open in another and an inbox full of dw ao3#subscriptions from abbey and sasha and my fcKING BRAIN WONT COOPERATE! so yesterday i sorted and put up a ton of photos cus of it and today#im itchy (mentally) while organising my room cus of it 😭 i just wanna read dw fanfics goddammit please let me consume dw fics again#edit: i ended up putting up all my notes on my wall AND reading the gift exchange fic before bed then we t to bed early so maybe my brain#was right that i needed to do a monotonous task first i will not learn from this and will continue to ignore my brain
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Free Typesetting Template
So while I try to get some designs set, I thought I'd clean up and share the template I use for typesetting!
Templates save lots of time, and let me keep 'tools' where I like 'em. Free template here on my google drive ✨.
(As with all my stuff, Personal Use Only!) This file is for Affinity Publisher ONLY. I highly recommend getting Affinity Publisher if you're doing a lot of typesets and want a high degree of control over details. It has most of the features of Indesign, and far more capabilities than Word or Google Docs. There is a learning curve at the start, but overall it is a great program for typesetting and is a one time purchase, versus a subscription like other services. Please note, this template is set for my own personal preferences, and I always adjust it according to the text I'm working on. You can make whatever changes you want to suit it to your needs; I just included the normal settings I tend to use. See below the break for template details! (How to use/notes)*
This template is sized for half letter pages.
140% Leading, 11pt Font Size (Body Text)
The baseline grid is set for these exact preferences. If using a different font size/leading, I change these to match and play with the text boxes for 'Master Body' to make them look nice.
The template has the text boxes set up for where I usually insert text, copy, and headers/footers. I usually fill these out with the relevant details, and adjust the placements and sizes as needed.
I put X down where I usually write my name/imprint. The copyright page has a lot of blank space because I like to include my personal logos on there.
The copyright page also has the Project Gutenburg info I like to include, since I mainly do public domain works from there. If I'm doing a fanfic, I'll replace this with the tags/details from the fic's AO3 page.
Main text gets copied and pasted into page 9, then flows into the rest of the pages.
The paragraph and character styles I use are all included.
Very important, after pasting in your text, go to Find and Replace, and turn all italics to 'Emphasis' character style to preserve them.
'Body Divider' is how I include dinkuses.
'Special' paragraph styles are for when texts have things like letters or songs included.
Typically, I use 'Chapter Heading' + 'Chapter Character' for chapter titles, and set a table of contents on page 7 using these settings.
You'll notice that on page 9 I have a text box that links into the Master Body pages. This is my sort of 'test' page for chapter titles. I can freely change the size and layout on this specific page. I move it around based on what design I come up with, then copy that design into my 'Master Chapter Heading' spread to apply to the rest of the chapter title pages.
At the very end of a file, I'll usually put in a colophon. This is not in the template, but it's just a blank page at the end with my stamp and notes on the size of the typeset and what fonts I used. *I don't have a fully written tutorial at this time, but I recommend joining Renegade Bindery's discord, where a lot of very talented people have shared their tutorials, and provide very helpful live answers. Edit 9/20: Tutorial post here!
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hiii this is the anon that requested part two and i return begging for part three of tennis! zoro.
ahem.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
thanks for coming to my tedtalk! :)
in all seriousness though i would love to see a part 3 and definitely think you should have an ao3 to post longer content!! please keep up your lovely writing 💋💋 (MAKE ZORO REALLY WORK FOR IT HEHEHEHE [i was sobbing over how cute his little offerings were AND FALLING ASLEEP AT THE DOOR i cant])
UR THE ONLY ONE KEEPING ME GOING GIRLY 🎀😞. SO GLADDD YOU LIKED THAT ONE, HERE HAVE THIS ONE NOWWW. ILL MAKE ZORO EXTRAA PATHETIC FOR YOU MWUAH😚
bitchimasnake-sss presents: the one piece AUs
03. AITA for going back to my ex? ft. roronoa zoro!
set-up: part 03 [FINAL PART] to my badminton player!zoro au lol. you can find the first two parts here! (i recommend you read those first!) getting your heart broken when you were seventeen was inevitable, getting it broken on camera seven years later was also inevitable, it seems. but letting your ex back into your life with the glittering promises of "i'll win you back in a month?" was getting your heart broken again and again and again also inevitable? most importantly: was roronoa zoro worth your sanity? warnings: dumb people, even dumber plot by me! includes angst towards the end, zoro is an idiot trying his best to win you over! cameos by nami, sanji, perona and mihawk because i love writing them tysm. and obviously smut (hehe u nasty). nsfw thoughts include: feral!zoro. this man is nasty, he likes blood, sweat and tears. a lot of overstimulation, a little bit of bimbofication, hints of dub!con, car-sex, penetration, teasing, dirty talk, a little bit of feral!zor. OKAY THAT'S IT!! MINORS DNI OR I WILL HUNT YOU! wc: 10.6k m.list
17th of october 11:43 p.m.
"really?" and you could hear sanji drop his precious cigarette onto the ground in pure, unaltered shock, "are you toying with me right now, love?"
"no." you replied firmly, nimble fingers getting caught against familiar, green locks as roronoa zoro pressed honeyed lips to your stomach. he trailed downwards, uncaring as your manager spluttered on the speaker.
"you are actually dating that green-haired freak?" from his tone alone, you could imagine sanji to look wide-eyed and tongue-tied. meeting the eyes of the said “green haired freak”, you found a sour expression plastered to his handsome features.
"no... well, not yet.” you swiped your fingers against his scalp, manicured fingers softly scratching the frown on his face away, “we're on a one-month trial phase."
"are you and him a netflix subscription, mon amore? what do you mean one month?" the blonde hissed. but you were far too gone, too warped within the feeling of the athlete’s soft kisses on your hiked-up thighs to even offer a hairsbreadth of attention to your critic.
"well–" as the sportsman hands trailed over your thighs all-too-intimately, you found yourself sighing blissfully, "he said he wants a month to win me back.”
“that is insane.”
“maybe. but his time starts today, so, we have until 17th of november to come to some sort of conclusion." zoro didn’t dare still against your soft skin. kneading the fat of your hips, pressing hot kisses to thighs and nipping at fading bruises to renew them. but you tightened your grip on his locks, tipping his head backwards as you pulled on them. glaring at him, you breathed out a warning, “either he cleans his act up, or i leave him in the dust."
but who was roronoa zoro if not the man made to get on your nerves?
his mouth fell agape as his eyes met yours, and a soft moan tumbling past him at the sharp sting of your pull. that wayward moan soon turned into a grunt as the sportsman toyed with the band of your shorts.
“stop that.” you whispered, eyes growing wide as the blonde on the other end of the speaker continued his distressed rants.
"and what do i do about it?!" for the first time in the five years vinsmoke sanji had been your manager, you heard his voice shake in panic, "you two just broke up! in front of the cameras! like a week ago!"
"it's fine, sanji. people get together all the time—"
"—not if they're olympic level athletes!"
"hey, you have no idea how much shit goes down in the olympic village." you shrugged, "last time 160k condoms were given out, and people flew threw them like it was nothing. there’s lots of crying. and fucking too, actually. sometimes both, now that i think about it."
“rabid monsters.”
“don’t be jealous. athletes just have a lot of stamina.” while you were busy rolling your eyes at the blonde and his dramatic antics, zoro climbed back up over you. a smirk on his lips, flashing you his canines, and mouthing “really? stamina?”
clad in a fitted, black tank top, your eyes drifted down to his arms and chest. shamelessly staring at the muscles flexing and unflexing under the flimsy material, you brought your free hand to run wild against his bicep. finding his index under your jaw, he tilted your face up to meet his eyes again. you smiled up at him without much thought and his heart stuttered out in the rhythm of his shallow breaths. fuck you for being so pretty.
before you could nod and ask what he wanted, he pressed a chaste kiss against your lips. next, he sunk his face in the crook of your neck. you felt the nip of his sharp canines against your sensitive pulse. but that sly bastard. all of that was to distract you from the way he dipped his hand under your shorts and pulled your panties aside.
“zo–“ you started slowly, but it was all in vain. the man above you was on a mission. and that mission was apparently to get your own manager to report you as a sex offender or something?! atleast that’s what it felt like from the way he rubbed his thumb against your sensitive clit.
“either ways.” your manager huffed, ignoring the way your breath hitched at the new bruises against your neck and the stuttering swipes of his thumb against your folds, “this is still insane.”
"weren’t–” you gulped, trying to keep your voice steady, “you were the one saying that my job is to playand yours’ to take care of such things, so, do that.”
“and i can! i can fix it.” you heard a thud ring through the speaker and imagined that the blonde had fallen back onto his back helplessly, “but i need time to fix this. gotta talk to nami-san, and then i will need to fix the narrative using the media. i need time.”
barely raising his lips off of your narcotic skin – with a flushed face and husky voice – zoro replied coolly, “don’t worry, nami’s on our side with this one.”
“HUH?! WHO WAS THAT?”
pinching the taut skin of the athlete’s bicep as a warning to stay shut, your tone stayed sickly sweet, “who? ‘twas the wind, sanji.”
“don’t try to sway me with your use of ‘twas.” he hissed like a wet cat, “is that mosshead here right now? is he in your room right now?!”
“and if you’re worried about the paps, roronoa will buy them out, you know?” as if to protest against your suggestion, zoro flicked his thumb faster against your swollen nub. you glared at him. “a-and if you’re worried someone will see us, they won’t. we won’t go public with it.”
“none of those suave answers.” sanji firmly stated, “answer what I asked first. is he there right now?”
you whistled a soft, “dunno what you’re talking about…” before drawing your phone away from your face, “because that’s blasphemous!!” purposefully covering the speaker with your palm, “hey, hey? sanji- hello? can’t hear… hear you right now. hello?”
you heard a muffled, “DON’T YOU DARE PULL THAT ON ME OR SO GOD HELP ME–“
“still can’t hear you.” your thumb hovered over the red button, “g’night, sanji!”
beep.
“i’m paying for the paps?”
trying to push his weight off of your relatively smaller frame, you huffed out, “c-can’t you stay shut when i ask you to, roronoa?”
in retaliation, he pressed more of his body weight onto you. snuggling his face into your crook and inhaling your scent like a man crazed, his fingers kept toying against you like it was as easy as breathing.
you tried to push him off again, gritting out, “do you think a good dick is enough of a reason to come back? cause it is not.”
“it is one of the reasons, is it not?”
“no. is it not.” you repeated, “shut it, and find a new strategy or something.”
“fine, tsk.” and with that the sportsman got off of you. pulling his hand out of your flimsy shorts, leaving behind your aching body as he got up. standing at the door, he looked back just to delve his long fingers past his lips to suck down on your essence. smiling as he pulled out, he made his conclusion in one, swift word, “sweet.”
and you just threw a pillow at him, face flaming up at the way he just simply caught the pillow and threw it right back at you, “fuck off, roronoa.”
“hm?” he cocked his eyebrow, careful hands still not attempting to open the door and leave, “I’ll just head back to my room, then.”
you found yourself crossing your arms over your chest, half to give him attitude and other half to soothe the skin that had been alit with his body over yours, “go, then. you’re the one who wandered in my room with unholy intentions.”
somebody could mistake his as the reincarnation of the devil with the way he was grinning. all unholy thoughts and malicious actions, “you’re the one still laying, waiting for me to do something.”
at his (correct) accusations, you sat up haughtily. adjusting the tank top and pulling it upwards, you found yourself glaring at the towering man for the nth time, “you’re insufferable. is this how you’re gonna win me back?”
“hey,” he shrugged, broad shoulders moving up and down with delicate ease, “worked the first time, didn’t it?”
“i was seventeen.” your eyes narrowed, “and you used to be way more handsome back then. it won’t work this time around.”
he hummed again, and within his cocky tone you could anticipate he had something to nag you with, “so i was handsome to you? that’s adorable.”
“fucking insufferable.”
“but handsome nonetheless?” and you almost threw your phone at his pretty face when he just grinned and exited the room. actually, no. you almost threw your phone when you realized that you were blushing, and fighting off a smile as he left your room.
what was this man doing to you?! ──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
19th of october, 7:58 p.m.
🍓attempt 01: no limits.
“okay, and i have no limits?” you asked again, just to ensure that you heard him right.
“yes, you do not.”
“and you’re not gonna sue me for using your money?”
“no, i will not. i don’t think i can legally.” he sighed, “do you wanna do it or not?”
“i do, but…” zoro's heavy voice kissed your ears, cutting you off, "then, stop whining. no buts, no ifs.”
“is this really how you’re gonna win me over?” mumbling, your lips fell into an easy pout, “feels more like bribery.”
“nami said the quickest way to a woman's heart is shopping. or just cold, hard cash, really. but i figured this was more romantic." tilting his face downwards, his voice dropped down to a whisper, “does it feel romantic yet?”
goddamn that freak!
your skin erupted into a violent goosebump as you felt his words against your soft skin. your face heated up as your fingers stilled against the keypad of your laptop, the home page of your favorite shopping site pulled up and resting neatly. ready to do some damage on his wallet. well, honestly, what damage? he was a well-paid nepo baby who had a personal gym and court in his house. this would probably barely feel like a pinch to him.
“again, i ask for your consent.” you asked anyways, trying to remind yourself to be a business-savvy woman who had only come to absolutely wreck his wallet. zoro declared monotonously, “i give it with full consciousness. jesus, woman.”
“okay then, no taksies backsies.” you cleared your throat in anticipation. stretching your fingers slowly as they hovered over the keyboard. his arms wrapped around your middle and you fell against his chest with a soft thud, “start already.”
“what’s even the reason for this?”
“your manager said we can’t go out, like in public. and blondie hates me enough as it is right now. so, i didn’t wanna risk taking you shopping outside.” roronoa zoro found himself revelling in your dishevelled demeanour. voice honeyed, he rasped out, “what’s wrong with my room, though? nice ‘n comfy, isn’t it?”
“I meant what is the reason for me to sit on your fucking lap?”
“oh that?” he was laying in his bed, with you atop him and your laptop atop you. you grumbled on, “and is it necessary to do this in your room? the living room is a perfectly perfect place to shop online.”
“you want me to get handsy in front of my father? that’s too much. the old man would probably die if he saw me like that.” he hummed, “not sure he’s ever even done anything. you know, given both me and ‘rona are adopted.”
you glared back at him at the shit he spewed but then your eyes widened as realization sunk in, “holy shit is he a forty year old... virgin?”
“dunno.”
“but he’s like emo, and vampirish. there’s no way he didn’t get some during the twilight era.”
“he was also the world champion at that time,” zoro reminisced, “he must have gotten girls.”
a laugh escaped you by, “zoro.” you stressed, “you’re the world champion right now. and the tally of girls you get is at a great zero.”
zoro mulled over your words before slowly shifting his pelvis so that you fell back at him unexpectedly, “not zero. got a girl on my lap right now.”
his laugh echoed yours as he held you tighter, and you tried to wriggle free, “jus’ cause you’re paying. no other reason.”
“how does it feel to lie to yourself?” he asked with mock grievance in his tone, and you tried to elbow his side to break free, “die.”
“kill me yourself, coward.”
“i will.” you admitted, still laughing as he decided to somehow tighten his grip even more firmly, “don’t. you’d look horrible in orange.”
“how dare you, roronoa zoro.” your palm struck his forearm playfully, “do not talk about my fashion choices when you shower once a week.”
“nobody had a problem with it thus far,” he answered back easily, “but if you have a problem, i suppose i could shower semi-regularly.”
“semi-regularly?” you almost coughed up a hairball, “jesus christ, i don’t think i would able to fuck you ever again.”
“liar.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
22nd of October, 7:43 a.m.
🍓attempt 02: the way to the heart is through the stomach (i think??)
“roronoa.”
“father.”
“what are you doing in my kitchen right now?” the man raised a careful eyebrow, staring at his dishevelled son who he had caught not a minute earlier bickering with a red-head on his phone.
“cooking,” zoro deadpanned, “i'm trying to make waffles.”
his fathers hawk-like gaze swept over the kitchen. flour sprinkled over counter-tops, some on his cheek, a batter that looked more radioactive that the what remained of Chernobyl. the older man drawled on, “and i presume you know how to cook?”
“no. she's helping.” he flashed his father his phone-screen and the familiar, scorned woman who was on video-call. when she caught sight of mihawk, she smiled, “sir mihawk, how are you?”
“just passing by. come by for dinner someday, nami.” the man deadpanned and the manager laughed, “of course. how can I refuse?”
now his hawk-like stare was trained on zoro, who stared back at his father as if they were sworn enemies on court, “what is it, now?”
“is it for her?”
“who else?”
“don’t burn my house down.”
“understood.”
and with that brief conversation, mihawk disappeared back into the mazes of his house, and zoro went back to bickering with the red-head.
“you add milk.” she emphasized, clicking her manicured nails together as she tried to guide an idiot to build the equivalent of rome, “do you not know what milk is?”
“i have enough calcium in my bones and I will not fall for scams like milk or medical insurance.”
“what?” she spluttered, “y-you don’t have insurance?!”
“when am I ever gonna need it, woman?”
“oh my god. you don’t have insurance!” and the last thing zoro saw the manager do was flip him off as she ran to some place elsewhere. possibly to get him some sort of medical insurance that he totally didn’t need. beep.
zoro’s fingers hovered over his contact list, the next stop being perona neesan 💗👻 .
“'rona.” zoro grumbled as he caught the face of perona on the other side. huge sunglasses were perched on her nose, a silky bandana flowing from her coloured hair, “awh, you remember me, zoro. finally.”
“quit that,” he mumbled helplessly before turning the back camera, “i need your help.”
“you’re committing arson at dad’s place?” she raised her sunnies so as to see the kitchen better. flour everywhere, and whatever the fuck was in that batter. kissing her teeth, she admitted, “i mean i don’t endorse violence… but that kitchen could use a makeover.”
“no. jesus, perona.” he turned to camera around to his face, “i– uh, i need to make waffles. an’ i don’t know shit. can you help or what?”
“huh?” her bug-like eyes widened impossibly wider, “yeah, obviously i can. but why are you cooking? is dad dying? and is his last wish to eat burnt waffles?”
“haha, funny.”
“wasn’t being funny. you have like... two left hands.”
“just to remind you, i’m ambidextrous.” zoro replied, poker-faced, and perona pouted, “who are you making them for, then?”
“myself.”
“liar.” narrowing her eyes, she probed further, “is it your ex? oh my god. are you guys actually together?”
“what?” zoro narrowed his eyes in return, “fuck off, ‘m not asking you for help.” he sighed, “where did you even hear about that?”
“it’s her?!” the goth girl squealed, “and you didn’t tell me?! I thought it was regular PR stuff that nami dragged you into. but she’s back? i remember how you sobbed when–”
“bye, 'rona. don’t call me back.” beep.
roronoa zoro had barely breathed when his elder sister called back. he picked it up with a groan, “what? I’m not answering your stupid questions.”
“okay fine.” she huffed, “’m not gonna ask you about your pathetic, little crush right now. keyword: right now.”
“perona.” he tried to threaten but the woman just leaned forward till her face was all zoro could see, “show me some respect, i’m older than you.”
“sorry.” the green-haired mumbled and his sister nodded in self-satisfaction, “and as far as waffles as concerned, don’t cook. you’d burn the house down. just order them in and say you made them.”
“isn’t that like, practically lying?”
“it is, yes.”
“and aren’t you gonna tell me how it’s morally wrong to do that?”
“it’s a fucking waffle, zoro. not the olympics.” she finally pulled the sunnies back to her face and carefully perched them on her nose again, “nobody cares about cheating. just win her over, and thank me later.”
“you’re a bad influence, you know that?” a small smile cracked across his face, “oh, by the way–” the sportsman quirked an eyebrow, “do you have health insurance?”
“i mean, who doesn’t?”
“me.”
“what?”
“nothing. thanks, i appreciate it.” the goth girl eyes widened all over again and zoro cut the call before her concerns could reach him.
8:55 a.m.
“you know what’s insane?” you mumbled through a mouthful, “i can swear that joanna’s bakery down the street makes these exact waffles.”
“do they?” zoro leaned forward, pouring more syrup to distract you, “that’s wild.”
“it is.” you nodded before taking another mouthful, “you know what else is insane?”
“how much of a good cook i am?” he tried, before having a bite himself.
“no.” you smiled at the way he gulped down the sweet breakfast up, “the fact that i swear i saw a brown bag with their logo in the trash, and now these waffles taste exactly like theirs.”
zoro froze, eyes trained on the mess of fried batter and syrup. he slowly looked up, “that’s insane, indeed.” he averted his gaze as you deadpanned, “you’re a terrible liar.”
“isn’t that an ideal quality though?” he tried again, “like, i could never lie to you.”
“mhm,” you nodded as a smile pressed to your lips, “try harder next time.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
25th of october, 10:03 p.m.
🍓attempt 03: with love, from an idiot.
“if this backfires, then what?” the man asked, and you could only make out faint noises from his phone. a faint, “if it backfires, then, you don’t get the girl, genius.” but nothing beyond that could deciphered as you stood with your ear to the door of your room.
“are you done?” you knocked at your door when the bickering on the other end ceased momentarily. the wood echoed under your faint hits as you called out again, “can I come in or what?”
there was no answer and you busied yourself with tracing the pattern of wood on the door once over. your forehead touched the cold wood, frustrated at yourself for allowing that beast to take over your territory.
zoro had waltzed into your room and declared that he was going to kick you out of your own room.
“huh?” you had mumbled, too confused at the way he tugged your arm and tried to push you outwards, “no way I’m leaving. fuck no.”
“I need like half an hour. I promise–”
“–if you intend to paint my room green, zoro.” you had barely started when he asked you to leave again. so, obviously, you both bickered for a good five minutes, got yelled at by mihawk cause you two were interrupting his wine drinking hour, and proceeded to bicker in whispers before you had to finally cave in and go out.
now, you were sitting in front of the closed door, and tracing patterns in the hope that sooner or later, your territory will be given back to you.
“yeah, come on in.” you heard the man finally yell back from the other side, and you sprung up to your feet in part-excitement, part-fear. your fingers tried to turn the sleek metal handle to swing it open. except it wouldn’t open. moving it front and back, your eyebrows bunched when the door refused to budge open.
“what the fuck?” and to your surprise the green-head on the other side yelled back, “jesus, stop trying to break open the door.”
“it won’t open!”
“because I’m trying to open it for you.” he hissed back, “and you’re pulling from the other side. stop it.”
“you stop it.”
“if you could just let me do that for you. fuck–” the door swung inwards with such abrupt, wicked force that you almost kissed the ground face-first. glaring up at the man, you seethed, “what was that for?”
“i was trying to be a gentleman.”
you straightened up, squaring your shoulders defensively, “don’t. you’re barely a fully-functioning man.”
while you were waiting for him to counter you with his regular flirting disguised as hostility, instead his face softened and he apologized, “sorry. come on in?”
“huh?” your shoulders went slack, eyes narrowing at his broad figure as you walked past him and into the room.
the lights were dim.
“what’s this?” your eyes scanned the place, he had made a pillow fort on the ground with whatever haphazard sheets and pillows you had been hoarding in the room. the tv in your room showed a still from netflix: Ten Things I Hate About You.
you bent down, thumb and forefinger raising the sheets upwards to properly see inside, you saw packs of chips and instant ramen, coke and chocolates stashed to the side.
still frozen, you found him meekly call out your name, “do you hate it? do you? you do, right?” you heard the door lock behind you, “i can undo it, it’ll take me like ten minutes tops. it is literally not a big deal, i’ll take it down.�� his voice dropped down to a whisper, “jesus fuck, I told nami this was stupid.”
he knelt next to you, forearms stretched forward as if he was itching to pull the flimsy housing to shreds. your hand grabbed his, face turning to meet his shy one.
“you did this for me?”
“uh,” he hesitated, “remember, blondie said no going out. so, I thought i’d try… this?” his voice grew weak, “you hate it.”
“you did it for me?” you repeated, almost in disbelief.
he sighed methodically, “who else?”
a grin broke on your face, “i didn’t take you for a romantic, roronoa.”
he shrugged off the goosebumps that threatened to break on his body at your reaction, “pfft. whatever. it’s not a… it’s not a big deal. nami helped… so, yeah.”
“you even put on my one of my favourite movies.”
“yeah, yeah.” the sportsman stood up, walking away from you to duck inside the fort and arrange the food items. but you could see his ear-tips growing redder, coy eyes carefully avoiding yours, “you’re, uh, you’re welcome.”
“but if you’re trying to impress me.” you followed suit, “this is not gonna work.”
he turned back to stare at you. a deer in headlights. “’s not?”
“well, I know you’re not a romantic. nami surely is though, it seems.” you settled down on the comfy mattress, turning your body so that it faced the wall the tv was plastered on, “i know this won’t happen again once we’re actually dating.”
“hey, it’s not like I’m not romantic at all. see, i’ve been doing well these couple of months. i think?” he tried to defend but you cut him, “you’re off season right now. once you have your five a.m. trainings and regular matches, you’d forget I even exist. you forget to eat, to fucking breathe when it comes to your game. a whole ass human?” you found yourself scoffing, “you would give up in a day. and that’s me just speculating based on observing you from afar per these past few months.”
he fell silent, probably reeling from your accurate observation. you sighed, trying to ease the unnecessary tension you had created, “i’m not attacking you, zoro.”
features downcast, lips pulled into an emotionless straight line. he repeated, “you’re speculating based on observing me from afar per these past few months?”
you probably should have drawn the line here, probably should have said okay and turned on the movie. but you were so well-versed in the language of self-destruction that someone should arrange a fucking pulitzer for you.
“you’re a sportsman first, son next.” you prayed your voice held atleast an inch of sympathy as you did a neat, little character assassination of the poor man. “as much as I appreciate the gesture, I am not sure where lover falls on that priority list. you like the chase, the idea… that i am something grand.” you stilled, “but i’m not. i am not an olympic medal, or a grand slam title. i'm just some woman.”
“you’re not just some woman.” he breathed slowly. “i suppose you have a point. i am not a lover. my hands find the racket before they find a bouquet, my words find silence before they do declarations of love. i- i don’t how to… just love.” he repeated to plead his case.
and this was it.
you barely held your breath as the man next to confirmed just who he was. he was not a lover. he was the number one on the global charts. and how selfish had you been to demand that he be anything but that demon on court?
“but,” zoro proved you wrong. “i wouldn’t have sacrificed long days and sleepless nights for just some woman. you underestimate how much you mean to me.” his breath grew strained, words unsure as if it was the first time he was telling the truth, “five years is a long, long time to come back home and yearn for your arms.”
you didn’t turn your head to gawk at him even though every cell in you wanted to. every inch of you wanted to turn your head, grab his face in your smaller palms and ask him to confess just how much you meant to him. but you were not sure you could listen to him come up empty handed like a fish out of water. you were not sure you wanted to find out just how easily roronoa zoro could break your heart.
but as the two of you fell into silence, your eyes zeroed in on the zooming in and out title card on tv instead, “let’s jus’ watch.”
“you mean everything to me. always have, always will.” you felt his palm on yours, and you flinched at his careful touches. pulling your hand back to your chest, you felt the familiar speeding up of your heart against your ribcage, “don’t. zoro, please.”
“don’t what?” he tried to ask, tried to turn toward you with anticipation making a home in his irises and vile thoughts on his lips.
don’t what? you tried to find the answer to the very same question. don’t what? what did you want to say to him? was it “please don’t make me think you could love me all over again.” or “please don’t break my heart again.” or just a simple “don’t say another word or i’d find myself risking it all for you. and i cannot stand to be the fool who fell for you yet again.”
just a series of unfortunate ‘agains’, it seemed.
instead, you turned your body towards his, tentative hands coming up to hold his face in yours before falling back to the mattress. you raked in a forbidden sigh, the sound so loud in the eerily quite room. finally looking at him, you found yourself growing dumber.
somehow, like this – vulnerable – he looked like just another twenty-two year old. not a world champion. not somebody capable of destroying you.
“i am not sure i’m ready to get my heart broken by you again.” you confessed slowly, like a coward. “i am not sure i can celebrate my next birthday, just to beg some meaningless god above for you once more.”
“then don’t.” his eyes drifted downwards, heartsick fingers twitching as they inched closer to your warmth. his words were low, like yet another coward. “don’t ask for me back if i break your heart again.”
was it that simple?
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
26th of october, 8:09 a.m.
you woke up with open packets and stacked cups of ramen on the floor, some episode of friends blaring on the tv and zoro stirring you awake.
sunlight filtered through the window, streaming in and pouring through the linen onto the man in front you. he was pretty, achingly so. his hair was tousled, lips parted, and thick brows bunched together like he was playing a match right now, “wake up.”
“huh?” rubbing your eyes, you tried to blink sleep away but instead grew more confused the longer you ruminated about his words, “what?”
“up and runnin’.” he repeated, “i need you.”
“need me?” your face contorted to show pure, unadulterated confusion, “zoro, ‘slike eight a.m.? can’t you wait a while?”
something nostalgic stirred within you as he smiled and bent down to face you easily. did the sun always get caught against his frame like he was a deity with a chokehold on you?
his smile was easy-going, and suddenly, you were fourteen year olds planning to ‘run away’ from home because you wanted to see the world. his voice shook you out of the daze, “get your head out of the gutter. didn’t mean it that way.”
“huh?” you couldn’t even find yourself growing offended amid your sleep-infused, hazed state. “what do you mean then?”
he tugged on your arms to help you sit up, “we’re going on a road trip.”
“we… are?” your expression grew awry, “where?”
“pack up and meet me outside,” he stood up, “you’d find out once we get there.”
“but zoro, hey–” you tried calling out. but it was futile as he walked out of the room, and you stay seated in the mess of sheets and pillow and tried to make sense of what was and what is.
5:42 p.m. 🍓attempt 04: next destination: love!
zoro stared at his phone for what seemed like an eternity. your gaze shifted from him to the deserted road and back to him. the dull sun inching near the horizon skeptically as if watching you two making a fool of yourselves. the winds were warm, and your road-trip was in the hands of an absolute idiot.
you slumped back into the leather, muttering, “should’ve never let you navigate.”
“let me concentrate, woman.” he huffed as his forefinger and thumb zoomed in on the unknown streets on his maps.
“how do you ever go anywhere?! your navigation powers are in the negatives.” tone haughty, you turned around to stare at him, “what kind of grown ass man gets confused on google maps? it literally said go straight!”
“i did go straight.” he turned to stare at you, tone just as haughty. “and i have a driver usually, i don’t drive by myself.”
“you went straight?” you repeated, somewhat amused by his ability to get lost on a straight highway. you craned your head, eyes peering past the black, tinted windows to stare at the deserted road, “and we ended up here? near a ghost town?”
“hold on.” he shifted his attention to the useless app pulled up on his phone screen. his face bunched up in irritation, throwing his phone on the dash-board before shifting the gear to start moving, “no point staying in one place, let’s keep movin’ and we will eventually figure it out.”
“figure what out?” you groaned, slumping back all over again, “atleast tell me where we’re going.”
“surpr–” you cut him off, “there would be no surprise if we never reach it!”
“okay, fair.” he breathed in slowly as the SUV made its way down the deserted road, passing by curated farms only inhabited by scarecrows. he sighed, “if we don’t figure out the road by nightfall, i’ll tell you.”
10:53 p.m.
“so,” zoro avoided your heated gaze, finally admitting the truth, “guess we’re lost."
“yes. yes we are, roronoa.”
“and it’s nightfall, so, i should tell you the destination.”
“yes. yes you should, roronoa.”
“don’t use that tone with me.” he tried meekly and your eyes narrowed in response, “why? are you scared?”
“no.” he cleared his throat, trying to sound like his usual self as he looked around in the lonely diner. the wooden table was rickety, the theme of the diner felt vintage-y, but in a way that was more unused than vintage. a lone, old woman waited behind the counter as you both munched on your dinner. once done with his inspection, he continued, “but it’s unnerving. you sound like nami, and she’s a witch as far as i know. red-head, you know.”
“you have moss-green hair, roronoa.”
“witches support witches.” he emphasized, and in return, a witch-like laugh past your lips, “you should be unnerved. good, because i feel like i have no choice but to sacrifice you in a satanic ritual to go back home now.”
the old woman behind the counter looked at you with utter dread in her eyes but you were too busy stabbing your fork in your grilled cheese, “now, spill. where were we going?”
he sighed, “home.”
“home?” you repeated, “home?”
“i thought i’d take you back to our childhood home,” his voice trailed off.
“why?”
why that wretched place? the place that become bleak, repetitive once you were left all alone five years ago, once he left in the blink of an eye. you routine had become monotonous after him: badminton court, school, home, practice, home, practice, home, sleep. rinse and repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat.
pursing his lips together, he looked down at his plate, “for old time’s sake, i guess?”
“old time’s sake?”
“there was a time when neither of us hated that little, suburban town.” he grinned, “remember that park with the broken swings?”
“that shit was haunted.” you took a bite, conspiring through a mouthful, “i mean why else was it never fixed?”
he continued, “and that public swimming pool? how was every guard there a creep?”
“except dave.” you nodded in agreement, a slight smile playing on your lips, “dave was cool.”
"he liked you so much, it was stupid." zoro huffed before popping a french fry in his mouth.
“you're the one to talk. do you remember courtney?” you grinned, shoving an index in his direction, “she had suchhh a huge crush on you in middle-school. it was honestly confusing.”
“why was it confusing?”
“you looked like a kiwi,” and you laughed when his eyebrows bunched together and he almost pouted, “i believe it was you that liked this kiwi.”
“tch, that was lifetimes ago.” your voice softened as he stayed quiet, the two of you just looking at each other as if registering each other’s silence as the only, absolute truth. the knife lodged in your grilled cheese slipped past your grip and a soft clang rang out as it hit your porcelain plate. you hummed, “should’ve told me we’re going back. i would have helped you navigate, zoro.”
“’sfine.” he shook his head, right hand coming up to scratch the itch away and re-set the strands of hair, “we can just head back. if we leave now, we’d reach by dawn. it’s pointless to go back to that old town now.”
you sighed, fingers interlocking as you slumped back against the worn out seat. the booth was cold against your back, the light bulb flickering momentarily as the two of you existed in a place far removed from reality, a place where the two of you were just twenty-somethings eating dinner at a worn-out diner.
“are you done eating?” you asked once he pushed his plate away. he nodded and you found yourself tugging his arm to leave the diner.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, confused, as he trailed after you. you glanced back once, “if we keep moving forward, we’d probably figure it out, right?” you stilled, turning fully to face him, “let’s go home, yeah?”
if roronoa zoro could, he would follow you to the miserable depths of hell. what was a small town compared to that?
he nodded, “yeah.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
27th of october, 6:29 p.m.
“this is it, huh?” you stared at the massive suburban home in front of you. the lawn was trimmed, kept nice and clean as you two stood in front of what was once your humble abode.
your family had sold the place once you expressed that you wanted to move away to do better in your profession, and you had never had the heart to come back and check who bought the place or who didn’t.
“wanna walk around town?” zoro offered his palm, albeit a bit hesitantly, “let’s see what has changed.”
well, that small creak behind your middle school had dried up, now littered with popped soda cans and torn packs of chip. cigarette butts stuck between jagged rocks and dried leaves. the ‘haunted’ park was still not fixed, but you saw little children running around, the scarfs against their tiny frames flying behind them momentarily as they chased each other around. and the leaves on the ground stirred like they were alive under their light footsteps. the old public badminton court had been renovated, it seemed, and the streetlights had been upgraded to a softer orange-y shade rather than the harsh white you both grew up under.
“they made another mall where the theatre was.” zoro commented as you both walked by what used to be your old cinema hall.
“you remember the theatre?” you asked as your eyes raked over the looming white structure with faces of celebrities plastered onto hoardings with the bold declarations of ‘now playing’.
“of course,” he shrugged, muscled arms methodically going up and down, “we had our first date there.”
“it wasn’t a date. you told me you wanted to catch the movies and then you tried to hold my hand for the next two hours.” you emphasized, kicking the dried twigs on the sidewalk. zoro joined in, lazily kicking fallen leaves and scoffing, “perona said it was. i even bought you caramel popcorn.”
and you found yourself giggling, “you even remember the flavour?”
“i remember everything.” his tone appeared to be nonchalant, “a white tank-top with strawberries on it and a blue-wash jeans, that’s what you were wearing.”
you lips pressed together, “can’t believe you remember that.” you came up to softly poke his side, “who would’ve thought you’re a romantic?”
“yeah, yeah.” he rolled his eyes, biting down an infectious smile, “i just have a good memory.”
“good memory?” you scoffed, “how come you’re such a bad navigator then?”
“tch, i’m just a bit geographically challenged.”
you laughed as your footsteps fell one in front of the other, and he trailed behind wordlessly.
as zoro saw you walk in front of him, your dainty hands interlocking so you could stretch them overhead and the way you looked back at him to beckon him towards you, so as to follow you faster. all of it made his heart twist unnaturally in the pit that was his chest. all of it.
next, you both passed your old high-school. standing at the metallic fence, the sun dipped far below the horizon as the streetlights behind you flickered and came alive. the two of you stood behind the metallic, looking at the buildings that had seen you grow in it’s hallways. when you sighed, the air fogged up just a tiny bit, “your blue jersey from state championships, and black jeans. white adidas too.”
“hm?” zoro cocked his head to your side, and you continued, “that’s what you were wearing on our not-date.”
“you remember?”
you pressed your forehead to the metal, the cold fence digging indentures onto your forehead, “of course i remember. i actually have a good memory.”
the two of your stood in frigid silence and the nightly winds grew stronger around you both. you pulled back, turning your face towards zoro, “it’s growing cold, wanna head back to the car?”
his thumb came up to ease away the red markings on your forehead, the friction of his touches melting away the cold essence of the metal. once he was satisfied with his damage control on your forehead, he nodded, “one more pit stop, then, let’s head back.”
10:02 p.m.
the car was parked in the middle of the field where you had spent reckless evenings just like this with zoro five years prior, to the very field where you had last seen him before he left without a word.
you remembered that cruel night as if it was your whole existence. it might as well have been considering how many time you had replayed the same night in your head over and over and over again, wondering if you had done something stupid.
you had sneaked out of your home, and he had sneaked here after his practice was finally over. his hair was sweaty, boyish features coloured a brutal shade of petrified as he approached you under the night sky.
“what’s wrong?” you had asked once you had noticed his downcast eyes and his shivering hands.
“nothing.” zoro had pressed his lips into a thin smile, “’m just tired from the practice.”
“oh?” you held his palm in yours, pressing a sweet kiss to it, “don’t worry, soon you’d win the state championship and then we would have all the time in the world to hang out, right?”
maybe you should have understood it right then when roronoa zoro simply nodded and looked away you. he had never been a good liar anyways.
that night, you both had sat down on the ground. staring up at the night sky, you had traced the constellations with your finger-tips and made false promises of a candied future that never came by. the soft grass under you both had tainted your cream coloured shorts green that day. yet another cruel reminder of him, yet another proof that he and you were real, yet another physical evidence of the love that once was.
“why’re we here?” you couldn’t be bothered masking up the irritability in your voice. the raw edges of hurt cut right back your mortal body as you stepped out of the passenger seat.
“c'mon.” that’s all zoro said as he lend you a hand and helped you climb the car’s roof top.
“zoro.” you repeated sternly, but he just helped you up without much explanation. once you were perched on the metallic frame, he climbed up and your voice momentarily wobbled, “a-are we sure the roof’s not gonna break?”
“no, ‘snot.” he clarified, slowly inching closer to you till you could feel his body warmth against your arm.
tilting your face upwards, you drunk in the sight of the malevolent sky littered with heavy, grey clouds that covered the usual litter of stars; so cruel but so pretty underneath it all.
zoro pulled his knees to his chest, softly perching his chin atop them with a sigh, ���pretty, isn’t it?”
“why’re we here of all places?” you pulled your knees to your chest, mirroring his actions.
“it felt wrong to leave without seeing this place once.” he admitted softly, “d’you hate it that much?”
“yes. i do.” you nodded, burying your face against the jagged, scarred skin of your knees. you hated this place, and the pair of green-stained cream shorts in your cupboard were nothing if not the proof of that.
“such a shame,” he sighed, “’s a pretty place.”
“zoro–” but he cut you off, “we’ve changed so much in these five years, haven’t we? let’s get to know each other again.” he lifted his head to look at you, “what’s your favourite hobby?”
you scoffed, “you’re kidding.”
“i’m not.”
“did perona put you upto this?” your eyes narrowed, head still tipped back to stare at the grumbling sky, “or nami.”
“no.” he stressed, “my hobby is probably playing pool now. luffy put me onto it, it‘s kinda cool.”
“i thought sleeping was your favourite past-time.” you turned to look away from the sky and at him but somehow couldn’t. you sighed, slowly admitting, “that was what you always said in interviews.”
“did you stalk me via interviews?”
you tucked your knees one over the other and straightened up, “says the man who watched every match where I got my ass handed to me.”
“i never said i did or didn’t stalk you.”
“you also didn’t say that you won’t break my heart again.” his eyes were boring into yours as you turned your face to finally find his, “you just said to not pray for you back.”
“would you believe me if i told you i won’t break your heart?”
traces of sleep lingered in his eyes, patterns from guilt long-gone-by traced onto his cheeks. you realized with a certain ache that you would probably believe this man if he told you he made the colosseum in his past life, and that he was Genghis Khan re-incarnated. but the fact that he won’t break your heart again? doubtful.
you turned your face back to the thundering clouds. they flashed a myriad of colours and loud sounds enveloped your mortal figures as they churned impatiently above you. you heaved in a breath. slowly exhaling, you asked, “when i lost women’s doubles against the boa sisters, you know what they said to me?”
you believed he knew the answer, being an interview-stalker himself. but he played along, “what?”
“they asked me if you broke up with me because I threaten your legacy as number one, zoro.” a deep sigh passed you by, “since i’m still number two, and from the looks of it they don’t think i’ll be one any time soon.” a mirthless laugh escaped your lips, “honestly, i don’t think I’ll be one any time soon.”
“do you really think i give a crap about shit like that?” zoro raised his face fully, widened eyes looking at you as if you had just accused him of skinning men alive.
“why else would you leave everything behind to be number one, roronoa?”
to you it was clear. he wanted to be number one, so, he left everything behind to be it. simple as that. he wanted to go after his dreams, so, he sacrificed everything he loved. you just happened to be unfortunate enough to be one of those things he loved. simple as that.
“i promised someone.” he finally admitted when you stayed silent, “back when i was in foster care.”
“what?” you found yourself turning your face to look at his, and the man who stared back at you seemed to be a man ravaged and hunted, like a mere prey for guilt.
roronoa zoro had never kept any secrets from you. never. not when he met you as a kiwi-looking middle-schooler at thirteen, and not when he was about to be twenty-three a decade later. no secrets other than his past in foster care. you knew mihawk adopted him when he was eleven, and perona when she was fifteen but no more than that. his past in the foster-care, that one was off-limits.
no questions, no answers.
and you had never pushed. it was something he wanted to forget and you’d be damned if you brought his demons to his under the pretence of harmless curiosity. that was it.
no questions, no answers.
then why was he speaking of it now?
“i only had this one friend. no. she was more like a sister, really.” his eyes hardened, “kuina. she was obsessed with this game, and i hadn’t even heard of it. every fucking time she got her hands on the tv to the communal room, she would turn on sports channel and tear through them till she found one playing re-runs of badminton.”
your muscles ached, and suddenly you were reminded of the air you had ceased to breath in. zoro continued, “she used to drag me to play, and then she used to beat my fucking ass at it. every fucking time. then, one night…” his voice grew thicker, like tar lodged right in his larynx, “she told me that one day, she would make it out of that shitty foster system and she would be number one.”
“somehow, seven year old me thought it would be fun to argue with her. so, i told her ‘no, i’d be number one and you’d be watching.’ she told me no. she had every right to. she was a better player than I was. she deserved this more than i do.”
“zo,” your hand found his bicep as his eyes glossed over, “you don’t have to tell me.”
but you didn’t know any player by the name of kuina, so, it didn’t take you long to guess where the story was headed. somehow, you stomach still dropped when zoro spoke the next part aloud, “she died a day later. ran into the fucking street while chasing the shuttle that the wind blew over. died on the fucking spot.”
“zoro.”
“i made a promise. a-and she was my sister.”
“zoro.” and you moved to engulf him within your arms. you felt him shudder under you, face pressed to your chest in a bleak effort to hold back tears as you held him tighter and tighter against yourself. as if your weak, mortal body could undo the past or stop him from the torment that was his own mind.
“i’m sorry.” your words paled in comparison to the feelings that brewed within the depths of your stomach. as if to reflect the words you couldn’t utter, drops of rain poured down onto you both mercilessly, as if the skies were mourning.
“i’m sorry.” you repeated, arms moving haphazardly to hold him to yourself closer. his hand moved with just as much desperation, trying to clutch onto you as if you were the only tangible thread of sanity left within him, as if your touch was all that grounded him, kept him alive.
“i- i can’t, i won’t lose you.” he mumbled into your skin, “i won’t let it happen. not again.”
he raised his face to look at you and bloodshot eyes met yours. his hair stuck to his forehead, lips quivering and you couldn’t tell which drops were tears and which rain on his soaked face.
your eyes racked over his frame. from his uncaring hair, to the eyes that had grown weary far too young, to the same pair of lips you had ached to call home, and finally the arms that you had yearned for much the same for the past five years.
“zoro?” you leaned towards him as your voice grew weaker. rain drops on your lips clung helplessly as he followed your voice, face falling forward till your foreheads were mere hairsbreadth apart, “y-yeah?”
why did your breath sound so strained? how come you could feel your heart pumping wildly against the bones lodged in your chest? how could you taste the metallic taste of blood and rain on your lips like as you heaved out ragged words?
you bit your lip to stop it from quivering helplessly. words failing to voice what not even your brain could, you asked for similar candied lies, “say you won’t break my heart again.”
words desperate, he nodded, “i won’t.”
“no,” your breath grew more ragged as each second passed you by, “no. swear on it.”
his calloused palm came to rest on your cheeks, forehead touching as he closed his eyes shut. “i swear on it. i, roronoa zoro, promise to never break your heart again.”
“and if you do?”
“you’re more than welcome to break my skull with my own racket. plummet it down really hard.”
a small smile cracked at your lips, “really?”
“promise.” he hummed. and as he leaned forward to catch your lips against his in a sickly, sweet routine, you pulled back.
he barely had the second to react before you crashed back into him. you couldn’t wait any longer. your lips against his in a clash of teeth and lips and tongue and the faint taste of rain on your skins.
“’s pouring.” he panted, words barely being processed in your lucid state, “wan’ you s’bad though. so, so fucking bad.”
the next you knew, your wet back met the leather backseat of his car.
the sportsman hovered over you momentarily. and next, all you felt was his naked skin pressed to yours, his calloused palms tracing patterns long-forgotten to your sides as he gulped down anything you had to offer. any cries, any grudges, any desires.
you pushed him away just to be able to breath, but air seemed to be the last priority on zoro’s mind as he caught your lips against his in a methodical, little game all over again. panting against your pretty lips, his fingers tried to rid you of your soaked jeans and panties. and all of it was so lewd, so unbearably lewd.
from the sounds of his skin on yours, the sound of the rain violently crashing against the tinted windows and the sounds of his desperate huffs and pants as he tried to manhandle you and get rid of the whatever unholy layers separated you from his feral touches.
“z-zoro,” you stuttered helplessly and the man that peered down at you resembled more a demon ready to fester on the last bit of your lucidity rather than the man you loved.
“c’mere.” he husked, and within moments he was under you. laying prettily on the backseat as your honeyed heat hovered only inches away from his pretty lips. as he stared up at you, his strong arms wrapped around your hips and he pulled you to his lips.
“fuck,” his eyes rolled back as he ran an experimental flick of his tongue against your core, and you flinched, already pulling back from him.
and how could you blame roronoa zoro for tightening his grip against your thighs and fully seating you over his face?
“none of that hoverin’ shit.” he declared in a series of hot pants against your drenched cunt, “let me eat my girl out properly.”
“z-zoro,” you bucked forward as his lips attached around the sensitive nub, sucking like he knew your untimely demise was his very duty. strong fingers digging into the fat of your hips as he ate you out like a man starved, like a man ravished.
it was all so messy, all so untamed, feral. just a mix of spit, your honeyed fluids and his insane determination to make you unravel at the tip of his tongue.
he sneaked in a hand, forefinger and thumb pinching the nub as his tongue delved deeper into your velvety hole. your eyes rolled back as his strokes stayed unrelentless against your heat and you found yourself falling apart at his preying touches, “oh my god, zo. ‘m gonna fuck–”
“cum f’me.” he rasped against you, the other hand coming down to smack the fat of your ass. you ass recoiled under his pressure and you jolted as he rubbed the stinging area better. hot tears pricked at your eyes as he brought down a unrelenting hand at the same strawberry-red patch of skin. the pain mingled in with the methodical strokes of his tongue and the messy rubbing from his fingers pushed you past your limit.
your walls spasmed, sickly sweet dew pooling at his lips as you bucked forward with a strangled cry in your throat, “zoro, zoro, zo.”
you weren’t quite sure if you imagined it, or if you truly felt roronoa zoro smirk against your aching cunt before pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses onto the damage he had done.
as you tried to catch your breath, zoro kissed – no, devoured – your clit. your throbbing bundle of nerves caught between his lips dangerously, he sucked on it as you bucked and keened over him, “one more. c’mon, baby.”
“no, please.” you tried to cry out but the maddened man could hear nothing over the blood rush against his ears and the ecstasy of your orgasm on his tongue. clenching his eyes shut, all he could focus was on the way you squirmed over him. trying to run away? pushing him away?
he couldn’t help but grin like a man gone far too gone because this was like a challenge, and what did roronoa love if not challenges? you were practically begging him to eat you till you cried and begged him to let you go, were you not?
“z-zo.” your voice failed you at your fourth orgasm and all you could feel was the muscle pushing in and out of your sore, aching cunt and his fingers pulling on your nipple so, so meanly. “z-zoro,” you tried again, this time without stuttering, “you’re s’mean, zo.”
“am i?” the way he sounded, you felt like only more torture was on your way, “am i so, so mean?”
you nodded, tears rolling down your pretty face as he thumbed your sore clit and cooed, “sorry, baby.”
“y-you’re not sorry,” you hips spasmed at his careless touches and you threw your head back to hold back a cry, “you’re n-not sorry at all.”
“’m not,” he admitted cockily, pulling you upwards so he could press kisses to your sore thighs, “only i get to ruin my girl.”
“y-your girl?” you sounded so out-of-it, so innocent with the way he had fucked you dumb. wobbly lips, teary eyes and hoarse voice. god, he loved you. he nodded, peering at you as if breaking it down for you, “my girl.”
pulling your quivering thighs off of him, he sat up and softly placed you on his lap. when you met his pussydrunk face, his lips were drenched off of your essence. he wiped his face off the back of his hand, then using the same hand to pull your jaw forward to kiss you senseless all over again.
his mushroom tip sat hotly against your inner thigh, smearing the glossy precum all over your soft skin. as zoro battled his tongue against yours, your nimble fingers toyed with his flushed cock-head. as you softly thumbed the slit, zoro found himself whimpering against your pouty lips, slowly pulling back.
“ah, fuck.” he breathed in slowly, eyes rolling back as you finally stroked his dick. you met his eyes definitively as you brought up your soft palm to your mouth. spitting on his soft skin, you brought it back to his angry shaft nestled against your thighs.
moving it up and down, your face dipped down to his neck to bite down on his pulse. instead of whimpering the way he was, his strong hand came to push your head harder against his tanned skin. he rasped, “harder.”
and you sunk your teeth into his skin with enough force to break his skin, just to find the man under you stutter and his white seed to coat your hand. his hips stuttered, eyes clenching shut as realization set in, “f-fuck. shit hah, i came?”
growing cocky at the way he came undone, you bit down a teensy bit harder. until you felt the sweet taste of iron on your lips and you pulled back to see a small droplet of blood beading at his neck. but before you could apologize, zoro noticed your crimson hued lips. pulling you towards him, he revered in the sweet metallic tang of his blood against your tongue. madman.
the sportsman hummed against you as he pulled your sore hips upwards and positioned his cock to nudge your slit ever-so-slowly.
“mmph, zo–” you tried to speak but his mushroom tip got caught against your clit so deliciously. moaning, he guided his dick to finally push past your hole and your jaw went slack at the sinful stretch.
hair sweaty and clinging to your skin, your head was thrown back as he pistoled his dick in with slow circular motion of his hips, and you tried to ground himself by digging your nails into his shoulders. zoro grinned, his canine on display unabashed, “feel good?”
your jaw slacked open, just for nothing to come forth other than half-coherent jumbles of his name as his tip kissed your sugary sweet spots with the urgency of a madman. shallow thrusts into your cunt only resulted in persistent prodding of his tip against your g-spot. his thumb pressed debauched words to your clit as your hips moved on their accord, with only one goal: to forget anything but his ungodly thrusts into your rueful cunt.
“feel s’good, zo. feel so, so good hah mhph–” you babbled, nodding as he moved your hips up and down to fill you up and leave you empty over and over and over again. a hand snaked upwards to pull at your roots, tipping your head back so that he could sink his teeth and brand up your soft skin just over the column of your throat.
“feel good?” he repeated, eyes almost crossing over at the crimson mark on your neck. if you felt like you were losing sanity, there was no need to feel lonely cause zoro trailed not farther behind. he laughed, bringing you down harder on his shaft, “feel good, baby? does my girl feel good?”
you nodded, eyes clenching shut as his cock massaged your gummy walls and his thumb tortured your poor, aching clit so well.
the familiar feeling built within you again, like a fire that burnt you to a crisp from within. your walls spasmed, head thrown back, drooling as roronoa zoro made it his life’s purpose to fuck you as hard as he could. to a point, where, you felt like he was just holding back to not break you.
“l-look at me, angel.” his hand squished your cheek mercilessly, pulling your face down just to press a mocking peck to your pouty, drooling lips and laugh when you jolted from the orgasm, “oh my g-god, zoro! fuck aah, hah shit shit shit.”
you slumped forward, sweaty forehead pressed to his heaving chest while he continued to fuck into your overused cunt. his thrusts grew weaker – erratic – before he painted your walls white.
“shit, baby.” the man laughed, his chest vibrating from the stuttered falsetto, “one more?”
“zo…” and the way you looked up at him so teary-eyed, shaking your head no. another challenge?
so now, of course zoro had you pressed in such a mean mating press, mumbling against your swollen kiss-bitten lips, “you’re doing so well, baby. ‘m so proud of my girl.”
“y-yeah?” you stuttered out, batting your tear-stained eyelashes so well that zoro couldn’t help but lap at the tear-drops cascading down your cheek, “mhm, course angel. take one more for me, can you?”
you nodded as if you had a choice.
his chest pressed up against yours, broad hand pulling your knees so far high so that he could plunge in and out of you so very easily. zoro panted with every slow drag of his shaft against your addictive, sugar-sweet walls because every small movement seemed to set you alight. your cunt grabbed at him hungrily, clutching him so tightly as if you refused to let him go.
managing a few more thrusts, he brought your weak hand upto his throat and pressed your hand onto his pulse. you stared at him, wide-eyed, before pressing harder. as your soft hand pushed harshly against his pulse, zoro pushed into your heat harder with a low whimper.
his hips sputtered as splashes of white painted your walls all over again.
the sportsman heaved, dipping his sweaty face down to the crook of your neck and pressing his body weight on yours. after what seemed like eons of just catching up his breath, zoro slowly pulled out and you gasped at his absence.
“are you okay?” he pressed a chaste kiss to your collarbone before trailing upwards and pressing another to your cheek. your muscles went slack under him, soreness creeping up the tendrils of your flesh as you fluttered opened your eyes, “’m tired.”
“already?” the man grinned, licking a soft stripe up your jaw. your weak hands pushed him away, groaning, “already?!”
“sorry, c’mere.” settling beside you in the cramped seat, he pulled you to his chest. humming faintly as his fingers softly caressed the damp tressed and you melted against the feel of his warm skin against yours.
the soft pitter-patter of the rain against the windows quietened, the morning mist hovering around the car like some forbidden protector and dew clung helplessly to leaves in the field. zoro pulled you closer to himself, his shallow breath against your forehead and his soft fingertips massaging your sore hips, “i think i love you.”
“you think?” your eyes fluttered open, trailing up softly to take in his peaceful expression. you bit the inside of your cheek, stomach churning as you dug your cheek against his chest and nodded, “i think i love you too.”
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
11th of november, 12:01 a.m.
“go on,” you shoved the cupcake in his direction, the candle light flickering softly and barely holding out against his stuttered breath, “for real?”
“hm,” you nodded, “make a wish, zo.”
“i don’t even have a religion.” he mumbled and you pinched the taut skin of his bicep in retaliation, “jus’ do it.”
“okay, fine. here goes nothing.” he closed his eyes. eyebrows bunching up in concentration and high cheekbones coloured orange from the weak flame. a moment passed by as the two of you stayed huddled on his bed, him praying and you looking at him.
a soft breath and the flame went out. when he opened his eyes, you smiled at him, “what did you wish for?”
“nothing,” he replied softly, calloused fingers interlocking with yours, “think i have everything i could ever need already.”
“happy birthday, zo.” you pecked him and pulled back, but he pulled you back to him.
knock, knock, knock.
“are you both done?” perona knocked at the door, “everyone’s waiting for you out, idiot.”
the next morning your twitter was flooded with the same blurry photo of you kissing zoro at his birthday party.
@/roronoaswifeyy said: yOU TWO ARE MY ROMAN EMPIRE OMG!!! @/sweatytoenails asked: IS THIS ANOTHER PR STUNT?11 OMG I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER BREAK-UP. @/boaboaboa said: GUYS I THINK THIS PICTURE IS LEGIT, SOMEONE SAW THEM GO ON A ROAD-TRIP TOO
@/monkeydluffyofficial: very proud of zoro to be able to pull such a pretty woman without showering for days on end ❤️😃 @/dailycelebgossip: BREAKING: two-times grand slam winner and current number #1, roronoa zoro confirmed to be going out with his former flame!
@/vinsmokesanjiofficial: we will be releasing an official statement, until then PLEASE STOP TAGGING ME, YOU’RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE. AND @/ynln ANSWER MY CALLS. @/nami_bizconmgmt: like@/vinsmokesanjiofficial said, please wait for the official statement and @/realroronoazoro PICK UP MY CALLS.
zoro wrapped a strong arm around your waist. sleep lingered in his eyes, and the pattern of the pillow case was imprinted onto his skin instead, “what’re you reading?”
you giggled, “people are losing their mind over the fact that we’re dating.” you looked over your shoulder, “can’t believe a PR stunt got us here.”
“oh, about that.” he mumbled, “nami never asked me to do that, i was just feeling bold that day. paid off pretty well though, didn’t it?”
“huh?” your eyes widened, words sinking in at a much slower rate, “HUH?”
“what?”
“HUH?”
“what?” he repeated with a grin, “it worked, didn’t it?”
“YOU ASSHOLE!” you pushed at him and he just held you tighter against his chest, “mhm, love you too.”
ladies and gentlemen, this is your friendly reminder to not go back to your ex by the way! they don't deserve you and aren't roronoa zoro!
a/n: i cannot believe this has come to an end!! aaaah took me fucking forever to finish it (and i have like 5 more characters to write for ://) but im so so grateful for anyone who loved this and has shown me that love. thakyou so much you guys! i'd be making an ao3 soon enough so that it's easier to navigate. again, thankyou for keeping up with me <3 tagging: @litlebruh @mist-ixx @briezy04764 @otkuhotgirl [the credit for feral!zoro goes to her] @mars-mizuko @florallyarranged @ayumitho @lyany2k @dietcokefizz @kokanee-readinglist @angelsforever999 @rengokushuaige @imlikeacoffeeconnoisseur @gojoistetti tysm for reading!! you all were so incredibly nice that im sobbing :')) i hope y'all enjoyed this! much love, vix <3 m.list
#the op aus series <3#op au#one piece#op#opla#roronoa zoro#zoro x reader#roronoa zoro smut#zoro x reader smut#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x reader smut#zoro smut#zoro angst#one piece angst#one piece smut#opla smut#op smut#zoro opla#one piece zoro
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june ko-fi: pirate captains au
ok ok so tbh in my head i was sort of counting the third and final part of the mermay au as the june ko-fi upload because it was technically posted june 1st in celebration of mer...june, but i got a few asks about if i was gonna post a proper june ko-fi fic and i decided like. sure! i can do that! and then i did <3 and now it's posted on ko-fi!
unfortunately im still on my water loving bullshit though, so this ko-fi fic is set in an au where obi-wan and anakin are pirate captains of different ships (obviously the Negotiator and the Resolute respectively) and they have a bit of a history. mostly they're just attracted to each other like magnets. mostly i just wanted to use the words breeches and tankards cause i think those words rock tbh
here's a snippet!
“Hatred is a powerful motivator, Captain,” Anakin says, and Obi-Wan would usually pay attention, but he decides it’s not worth it. Anakin’s lips are soft and his thumb catches on the bottom one as Anakin speaks, slips slightly into his mouth. “I’ve found that many things are powerful motivators, Captain,” he replies as he takes a step forward, closing the distance between their bodies. “And some are much more pleasant than hatred." Anakin huffs out a laugh, lets him approach. Pushes closer. His eyes are dark in the moonlight. His eyes are fixed upon Obi-Wan. “I joined Dooku’s crew,” Anakin murmurs as if he thinks that they are still talking about his past. As if Obi-Wan is not interested in their future. “To find you again, Captain. To kill you.” “How very innovative of you,” he says and he removes his hand from Anakin’s face, drops it instead to his neck and curls it around his throat. It is not a threat. Mostly. Anakin grins back at him. “You are an easy man to hate, Captain Kenobi,” he says. “I believe that your saving grace is that you’re also an easy man to want.” “And you want me,” Obi-Wan says, like it’s a fact. Like it’s a foregone conclusion. It feels as if it is.
as a quick reminder, these ko-fi fics posted in my gallery are only visible to monthly supporters (ps. thank you sm to my monthly supporters!!!!) - at this point, there are 13 fics there (all 4k-7k in length), with plots varying from 'what if obi-wan was a werewolf' to 'what if they were both mermaids and i wrote 20k about that specifically'. i'm always open to discussing these fics here on tumblr and i currently do not plan to post them onto ao3; if you sign up to support monthly and then cancel that subscription, you should retain access for a whole month anyway so you can read all of the fics there!
#kit's kofi fics#obikin#this one in particular is so fun i think#they poke and prod at each other they're obsessed with each other#they probably try to drop anchor at the same port as many times as possible just to see each other#i googled a total of 4 things about pirates for this fic#which is the most research i have EVER done btw
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Hi, Johannes! I was just wondering, is there anywhere on the web where a person could pay a lump sum for permanent access to any of your ero/literary works? Like, do you have any collected editions as ebooks? Subscription-based access always does me in because I have very inconsistent income, and while I would love to be able to back a Patreon or Premium Medium account, I've had issues with overdraft on those charges before. I know Slipshine has a bit of a different model than what you've got going on, given that there are a large number of artists under their banner, but they do have a Permanent Access tier, for example.
Wishing you all the best!
Hey, I'm afraid Slipshine doesn't seem to allow for authors, and is only for web comic artists.
Neither Patreon nor Medium allow that sort of subscription option for permanent access, unfortunately, and I don't have the time or the money at the moment to to invest in setting up my own platform. I know that Ream exists, but I don't think they have a package tier like this either.
The plan is to put together some more short story collections as eBooks, both of erotica and of other fiction, but I'm afraid it's quite a labour intensive process and takes quite a while to do, thus why I haven't made more available already. When I do this, a lot of my erotica is only going to be available on Smashwords and a few other retailers, just because Amazon has extremely stringent rules about what they consider taboo content, and a lot of my monsterfucking stuff won't be permitted on there.
A lot of my work is available on Ao3 for free or here on Tumblr, and I also upload some shorts on Literotica and Hentai-Foundry respectively - if there was another platform that let me do what you're talking about, I'd be more than happy to set my works up there, but I don't know that there is one.
I would also totally encourage you to save your favourite works from Patreon or Medium while you're subscribed - I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you at the moment! I also obviously have an unreliable income myself, and I appreciate that it's really stressful and hard when bills hit unexpectedly, and that even really small ones can bite you into overdraft.
Patreon does permit an annual subscription option, where you can get a year's access, and obviously you'd have a lot more time to cancel that immediately, and you don't have to keep it on auto renew, as far as I'm aware - with the annual subscription, you pay for 12 months at a time, for which you get a 16% discount, so the cheapest tier at $3/month would be about $30 USD. That's obviously a lot more of a cost upfront at a time, but that would then be able to keep you having access for a long period of time without having to worry about the renewal charge.
Apologies again for the inconvenience, thank you so much for your support!
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If anyone is wondering why I haven't updated, there are a number of reasons. However, a major one is that Crunchyroll will no longer allow you to use old versions of the app. What this means is I am no longer able to take screenshots of record small scenes so I can transcribe them or basically do most of what I do here.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this blog, I am a broke ass bitch with a chronic, genetic kidney diseases I had the pleasure of being born with, which severely limits me in a number of ways. One such way is money: medical bills at expensive and even with insurance I owe something like $1,462.78 and that's just the past year. Nevermind the bills I collected from other hospitals/doctors. The result is I live a pretty simply life, including the fact that I don't own any sort of fancy recording equipment like "a pc". Every screenshot, every gif, every artistic and not so artistic edit, every video recording, every single post and fanfic and reply, that is all done from my phone. It's my one and only portal to the Internet and sole tool to do whatever is is I do.
With that in mind, while I am proud I managed to take my degree in English Literary Theory and learn how to do all of that on an older model Android I've had for a few years now, I also know that then bulk of internet denizens are just WAY more skilled/knowledge at this then I will ever be.
Keep in mind, I have no money (so advice along the lines of "just buy this $99 program, it's so easy!" or "why not just get a cheap laptop, you can get one for under $600 EASY these days" or even "you just need a monthly subscription to this OTHER streaming site, that doesn't have a film blocker" just doesn't help, especially since I don't even have my own subscription to CR so there is no just dropping that to pay for another.) I was hoping someone out there knew a method I could use to record the "latest" episodes.
I say latest but I left off at 1078. I know, I'm ages behind, but there is a good reason for it.
Please, anyone who knows how I can take screencaps (recordings would be useful but not required) PLEASE contact me and let me in on your secret.
I won't tattle, I swear. I just want to be able to watch the show and react about it on this blog since, sadly, I've recently lost all my OP watching buddies to various life circumstances.
Failing that, I need someone to agree to watch every single episode along with me as my "recorder", recording long swatches of each episode and then sending to me when we're done so I can get my screencaps and gifs and the likes. The good news? You'd have someone eternally thankful for your contributions, who would credit you in every post, and I wouldn't even use any jokes/observations/thoughts you might share while we watch without permission. And.... errrr. Did I mention the gratitude? Shit, that's really all I have.
But I have so much of it!
Guys, I hate getting all emotional, but I am having a hell of a year between the dogs, the bad diagnosis and, hey, this is currently my face:
For comparison, when I'm not dying:
Just any help or even attempts at advice would be welcomed. I know it's stupid, but a lot of what I personally get from reading/watching/playing things is in sharing it with others. I shouldn't have to explain that, it's part of why places like Tumblr and AO3 EXIST.
Feel free to reach out in a reblog, comment, tag me, DM, message me on discord (gildedmuse). Whatever is easiest. And thank you, so, SO much for any potential advice or help you can offer.
#please help#one piece#screenshots#crunchyroll#desperate fan#need help#looking for help#looking for advice#looking for a goddamn miracle#why don't they want me promoting their show and getting people excited about it#I'm sorry for the post length#it honestly left me so depressed learning I could only watch the episodes and no longer had a way to communicate about them so easily#roronoa zoro#trafalgar d. water law#trafalgar law#dracule mihawk#tagged BECAUSE IF SOMEONE HELPS ME FIGURE THIS OUT YOU KNOW I WILL GET YOU THEIR SCREENSHOTS#I literally don't know what to do if I can't take screenshots#I was so excited for the egghead arc & now I have no one to watch it with and no way to share it#I promise if you knew about my health/personal situation this reaction over being unable to doc & share this kid's show would make sense#Hey I've EMBRACED being a pathetic fan who is unshamed in her love of media analysis and fandom excitement
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This poll is specific to followers of my blog and readers of my fic
Asking this on a whim because I've been thinking about it for a long time, but only now that my ADHD is medicated and I'm consistently writing a lot do I think I'm ready to actually consider making a Patreon/other profile to monetize my writing.
To be clear: I'd still be uploading all of my fics to AO3, whether ppl give me money or not you'd still be able to read and distribute (with credit) my stuff.
If I asked for financial support re: my writing, the incentives would just be stuff with my writing process that the majority of people don't get to see: brainstorming/outlines, daily word counts/other progress updates, rough drafts vs. final drafts, director's commentary, tutorials/guides/"how I personally write, edit, plan, etc". If I really get a consistent schedule going, I might even have stuff like polls to vote for which WIPs I'll update each month (it'd be 1-2 updates as voted by patrons, then whatever else I felt like writing for myself) or have some sort of weekly/monthly "let's sprint together" event for patrons only.
I wouldn't expect to make a living off of it by any means, but I'm thinking of it mainly in terms of giving myself a financial buffer for writing-related expenses? As examples, $5/month would pay my subscription to my writing software, $40/month would pay the subscription + weekly coffee shop visits for writing, $80/month would basically pay my electricity bill which I use to be able to write/upload fic and also for my actual IRL job.
#squiggposting#it'd be a long time out even if i did decide to do it i think#i'd need to consider how to organize that in my life and like make sure i consistently deliver updates/new fic#but i figured i'd at least ask
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HELLO 💕💕💕
One of my fave maxiel stories is back 🥹🥹🥹🥹
I am so happy and so happy that i subscribed to it on ao3 lol
Now I have two? Question
Will this havr a happy ending? we know for maxiel due to the first chapter, but what about the others?
Second one, how many years does this play out over? Like from the very first chapter
Thirdly, will the others ever trust max again? Will we found out more about charles?
Fourth, will there be some more backgrounds thingies about the others?
I love them all and want to know more about them 💕💕🫶
Love it and can't wait for the entire story
Hello!!! Thank you so much for this ask!🫶 and thank you also so much for the kind words, and the subscription!!!! Because my mind is messy and I can't concentrate on one fic haha I have a few maxiel fics floating about, but I'm going to presume you're talking about the xmen one! (If not just send another ask and I'd be more than happy to answer these questions about any other of my fics :))
Question 1 - happy ending?
Haha I'm going to give a very annoying answer and be very vague about this 😅 I think it really depends on how happy you want it, the first chapter is from maxs pov with clear amnesia, so something happens in the final few chapters to give him that sort of condition! But I would consider his ending good, despite that moment! And as for the other characters, I would largely say yes, they do (mostly) get happy ending! After all, I was a Disney child growing up, my mind is prewired for happy endings 😅🥰
Question 2 -how many years?
The main story will be over a year I think? But again, the main story is in itself a flashback of Max's. So overall, the story goes over about 25 years? But a lot of that is Max's past and early memories, and Max's life post-plot!
Question 3 - the others and Charles
The others' trust of Max is very closely linked to Max's trust of them. So i think as the story progresses and he relaxes (and even begins to like some of them!), they return this sentiment and trust him. And yes, I love Charles! I think of him as a sort of foil to Max's character, and he's as important to Daniel to the plot
Question 4 - more background
Yes!!! I loved creating their backstories! They all have their histories, and some will be exploded in further details than others. For example, Charles' background will feature a lot more. Also, I have to thank you because your ask inspired me to stay editing a new chapter! This one has Mick's background, so thank you for this ask and for motivating me 🫶
Thank you again for the ask! I hope I answered your questions, but do let me know if there's anything I should clarify or any other questions! (Or suggestions on characters' backgrounds!) And thank you also for all your kind words and support on the story 🥰🫶
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ok so I'm going to another of tricky asks below - prob just skip since I can tell I'm repeating myself a lot lol
if I hadn't gotten asks about it I wouldn't have known that a subsection of dando people were as serious as they were which is… odd to me. I totally get shipping dando for fun and that Daniel and Lando are buddies but. why pick the guy who's friends with everyone he meets and pretend that is the guy Lando's "secretly in love with" or that they're "more" friends than Lando's other friends... just bc they hang sometimes kasgfkaglh
I've got to stop trying to find any sense in rpf truthers.
but yea Lando and Martin are so sweet together and I hope Martin doesn't have to deal w any of this bullshit in his comments. guy is just enjoying traveling with Lando and vice versa.
(no worries anon I got your intent!)
honestly from a straight up racing perspective it's enough evidence in itself. the fact that Lando has repeatedly said how well Oscar suits McLaren and is pushing him to be his absolute best is all anyone should need.
but also look at the standings! Carlos and Charles, Lando and Oscar - they're doing amazingly well with the current partnerships !! it's why Carlos is so eager to remain where he is, he's already in the best place for him to get not just another race win but a shot at WDC. Lando and Oscar are a natural part of the McLaren youth legacy and Max has pipped them as being his biggest potential headaches in 2024 lol. everything is good and we still get plenty of car|ando content so let's leave it alone!
oh babe I'm sorry that was misleading there's no extensive drama (that I know of) back when I started following Lando content I noticed that the LN4 account (mainly the twitter one) is run by people who get waaaayyyy too into pushing rpf ships for my comfort. I'm massively against containment breaches between fandom to official accounts.
if other ppl enjoy it then it's their choice but it's not my cup of tea!
honestly this is just how it's going to be from here on out. Liberty Media and Netflix already have relationships with certain podcasts and social media accounts and "bromances" are an easy way to get merch, subscriptions and tickets sold. as a sort of fake fan myself I rly can't be on any high horse about "real fans" lol but I do at least keep all my silly shit on tumblr and ao3 alone.
block and unfollow like crazy, anon. eventually your algorithm will learn like mine has!
when has Lando never not been fun ??? he did the screechy laugh Spanglish fun with Carlos, the doofy fake gay fun with Daniel and now he's gen z funny w Oscar whennnn did Lando ever stop being fun oml
babe it wasn't even that, he was replying to the millionth person asking about his and Esteban's lack of personal friendship and he said that no one should assume a friendship between two drivers. he never said "Charles and Carlos hate each other" agflaslfsa as if F1 media wouldn't be all over that
-----
ok so there were two others that I'm not going to screenap bc I do NOT want the heat for those opinions lol.
to answer without being too specific: everyone knows how I feel about people who invent conspiracy theories about girlfriends and wowwww that is a leap. and yea shouldn't the fact that they both went offline when we knew them to be alone together at his ranch actually be evidence that they're really in love and not needing to broadcast it ?? that he only pops back up when he's hanging out w guy friends?
I will have a good laugh that ppl managed to leap to not only them having broken up in the past week with zero evidence but that Lando suddenly hopped a plane to "comfort him" and finally be a gay couple jesussss
ok guys this is as much time as I can stomach knowing about this side of fandom for a good while.
remember: block, blacklist, gatekeep, stay safe out there xx
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AO3 Tip Number 3: Understanding Profiles (Yours and Others)
You have to sign up for ao3 (there is usually a wait list. It normally doesn’t take longer than a week once you sign up, and honestly less time than that in my experience.)
First option is Dashboard. This is just a little overview of your account (whether your own or, if you click on another author, their account). I don’t spend a whole lot of time here.
Profile gives you info on your username, when you joined, if you want to add a little bio you can. Again, not something I use on a daily basis at all.
Set my preferences is where you can make decisions on your own privacy, display, time zone, miscellaneous, etc.
I honestly don’t know what skins is (and I also don’t care to know either).
Works will list out anything you have posted (or anything someone else has - if you are viewing their profile). You can sort in here same as you do when trying to find works. Drafts is where you can store works without posting them, if you want to post at a specific date and time. Drafts can only be stored within ao3 for a month before they get deleted.
Series is what I spoke about last post, with the collections. You can see any series that an author has, search through them, etc.
Bookmarks is where you can find any of those works that you have bookmarked! Again, you can sort these based on the same things are when you are searching for a work :)
Your Inbox is if you have any comments on your works, or replies to comments you have left on works! They will show up here - and you can mark them “read” or “unread” if you wish to keep the notification (so for example I right now have 49 comments I have yet to respond to, and 2423 in total). You can also click “read” on a comment if you’ve received it but don’t wish to respond!
Stats page is only for those who post works - you can view stats on your page as a whole and on specific works you have posted. I can go into more detail about this if someone is curious!
History is an important one! Let me show you what it looks like:
What is automatically pulled up is your full history (see top right gray button selected). So this is every work you have clicked on when logged into your ao3 account. It also tells you when you last viewed the work, and how many times you have viewed it as well. You can delete a singular work from your history with the gray “delete from history” button.
If you look at the top of the page you’ll see more gray buttons. The automatic one is full history. Marked for Later is from what I talked about last post, where you can hit “Mark for Later,” all of those works are stored here for you. To unmark them, you have to go back into the work and select “Mark Read,” which will be in the same location as “Mark for Later.”
You can also clear your history completely, if you so choose to.
Subscriptions shows any works that you have subscribed to in order to get emails! You can also go onto an authors page, and on their dashboard you can subscribe to their page specifically. So for example let’s say you love @girlgenius1111 and want to read whatever they post (lord knows that’s what I’m doing lol) regardless of who it’s about - you can subscribe to their page to get an email anytime they post.
I ignore Sign-ups, Assignments, Claims, and Related Works. Gifts shows any works that have been gifted to either you or the person whose profile you are viewing.
Any questions? Send me a message or an ask and I can try to answer it as best I can!
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The three things thing!
I am so behind that people are going to start calling me Dr Cheeks. I was tagged by three lovely humans of fandom, thank you all!
@shealwaysreads things here @kbrick things here @writcraft things here
I can unhesitatingly recommend any of these writers works, not just the ones they've mentioned above, but I'm sure I don't need to tell anybody here that.
So, on to ME! The thing we're doing is 'Recommend us 3 of YOUR fics: 1 that is “most popular” and 2 that are “hidden gems.'
Most popular first.
I think whatever way you measure it, Watch the Castles Burn is my most popular fic. Every metric on AO3 has it on top, with the exception of subscriptions (its beaten only by my one fucking WIP that I stg I will finish one day soon).
I feel amused every time I see this fic. I wrote it for Wireless 2021 and not far off completion I had a complete emotional breakdown and went to bed for like 3 weeks and cried (not over the fic!). And then on the day that the fest started posting I pulled myself together and reached out to the mods to ask if it was too late to submit, and they were extremely kind and understanding and said yes, so I finished the last little lingering bit and had a non-fandom pal do the most last minute beta you can conceive of because I didn't really have any fandom connections that I felt I could impose on at that time, and we tried to take care of the worst of the comma crimes etc, and then at the end of the fest there she was! I was incredibly emotional, on a rollercoaster (grief is a bastard), and I felt like I had submitted an absolute steaming turd. I thought nobody would read it and nobody would like it. @shiftylinguini had only recently become a new friend and I spewed anxiety at her non-stop for days which she was very patient about and still kept answering my DMs, and has not yet abandoned me which speaks to her very good character and kindness lol. And somehow, this possibly-a-turd became the most popular thing I've written in eighteen years in the fandom. It's not what I consider my best work, but people like it!
Have a bit:
Potter found him in the shower block later that afternoon. Draco had one hand braced against the tile beside the shower head, letting the hot water pummel him. His left shoulder was bruised to hell, in fact he could feel the muscle along his ribs beginning to ache as well, the adrenaline slowly waning.
“I was looking for you,” Potter’s boots echoed off the tiles. “I went up to your office, but they told me you were probably down here.”
Draco turned his head just enough to look over his shoulder, and winced when his whole left side cramped in objection. “How’s Ron?”
Potter, to his credit, looked him in the eye. “Good. Very pleased to be alive, thanks to you. I think you’ll be getting Christmas shortbread and Easter buns from Molly for a couple of years or so, after this.”
Draco would have laughed, but that would have required using muscles which were currently strained to buggery, so he just made a noise instead and hoped it wasn’t too pathetic.
“That looks pretty sore. Do you need a hand with a Healing charm?”
He did, actually, not that he would admit it. Still a stubborn, proud arsehole, despite his best efforts. He turned slowly, flexing in the water. That fucking hurt, but the look on Potter’s face was worth it. “If you wanted an excuse to see me in my altogether, Potter, you need only have asked.”
Potter let his eyes drift down Draco’s body like fingertips. His drew his wand from his thigh holster, and gestured with it. “Turn around, you lush. Healing first, flirting later.” Draco turned the water off and braced himself again against the tile, and Potter’s magic collided with his back a moment later. He made a noise, it was punched out of him rather than anything voluntary, and the pain coalesced before fading to a low thrum.
“Thanks.” Draco’s voice was rough.
“Get dressed, and come home with me. I’ll give you a back massage, sort out the last of that stiffness.”
“It’s barely four.” Draco had a feeling there would be other kinds of stiffness afflicting him if he let Potter give him a massage.
Potter just looked at him with dark eyes. “Come home with me.”
Draco went home with Potter.
Next, two hidden gems.
I really like Relief from this years Sudsfest. I had 60K of thoughts about this fic but I only had about 4K of time and brainpower, so I sliced out the right bit for Suds and plan to come back to this very soon.
Watersports is a challenging kink for many, its a broad label so it makes sense that people might be unsure of it, lol. But it gives me such a kick when people trust me and have a go anyway, and then say so in the comments. Love that!
Some Relief:
The afternoon management briefing had essentially been a write-off. The scar on his hip prickled and itched, and he kept zoning out, head full of warm sheets, velvet skin, stubble, sweat. Vivid flashbacks to things they’d done in bed together threaded through with things they hadn’t tried yet. Budget updates and governance and risk assessments and compliance reports. It was like the mumbling of a meeting happening in a different room.
Receipts! This was so much fun to write, I don't know what came over me one afternoon but I was full of beans and asked @shealwaysreads for a random prompt, and Receipts was born a couple of hours later in between meetings. I also have thoughts about this, which I'd like to revisit one day (god knows when, the to do list is painfully long as it is).
A bit of Receipts:
“Parkinson, you look surprisingly well fed.” Weasley was all but bouncing in her trainers. “Care to show me your receipts?”
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Weasley,” Pansy said smoothly, and Draco didn’t miss the flash in the red-headed menace’s eyes. He looked desperately at Potter, who was attempting to enter the flat behind her. Eventually he had to shove her forward to get past her.
“Malfoy,” Potter’s eyes were sparkling, which was very annoying and not sexy whatsoever. “Alright?”
“I’ve been better, if I’m being honest,” Draco muttered, and Potter shook with suppressed laughter. “Let me get you a water.”
The girls barely noticed their departure, and in the kitchen Draco got down a pair of glasses and took the Brita out of the fridge.
“I hope you’re going to tell me your week has been as miserable as mine?”
Potter took a big sip of water, and his eyes crinkled. “Sorry to disappoint. This is going to be a piece of cake for Gin. She’s as stubborn as fuck, but she’s also already on a pretty strict diet because of training, so it didn’t take much to cut out luxuries. She made me go to the farmers market with her to get even cheaper veg—actually, I could have lived without the run on the way there, if I’m honest.”
“Well, Pans is basically made of refined sugar and nicotine, so I spent our last shop slapping Percy Pigs out of her hands like I was playing Goal Defense for England.”
Potter snorted and nearly spit out his water. Draco felt his belly swoop, and looked away to hide his smile.
“How long do you reckon this will go on?”
Draco cocked his head. “I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, this is foreplay. So I predict whichever one of them gets overcome with the need to hump first.”
Potter shook his head in amazement. “Somehow when you say vulgar things, I’m never expecting it.”
“I’m vulgarity personified,” Draco said, his nose in the air. “I also have a bar of Dairy Milk hidden in Pansy’s top shelf, and if you’re a very good boy I may share it with you.”
“I can be good for you, Draco,” Potter said in a low voice, and Draco stuck his head in the pantry to hide his reddened cheeks.
Tagging is the bit I'm really shit at, obviously never hesitate to just do this if you see it but the rules require tagging so if you haven't done this already and you want to, you are hereby tagged: @gracerene and @thehoneybeet and @candybarrnerd and @nv-md and @academicdisasterfic and @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm and @oknowkiss!
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since this is still something of a debate…
re: silent readers, fan creators, motivation and interaction
Since I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about this lately, and have seen a fellow writer get hate for talking about it, I figured that it was about time to throw my hat into the metaphorical ring.
Interaction is a massive part of fandom as a whole because in the end we’re all just a bunch of nerds all obsessing over the same characters and media in our own little community. Like a nest of overly excited rats, or something equally strange. And interaction can come in many forms depending on which platform you’re using — and for this post I’ll be referring back to AO3 and Tumblr because that’s what I use.
On AO3 you have a few ways of interacting with an author whose content you enjoy — with some being anonymous and others being much more preferred and important to authors. Of course there are hits, which are encouraging of course but you have no way of knowing if someone clicked on and finished your fic or if they mis-clicked and immediately left; it’s completely ambiguous. Kudos and subscriptions are the other big ones and are a good form of encouragement for writers because they tell you who enjoyed your writing and give you an idea of who would want to return (even if subs are usually anonymous as well). Finally there are bookmarks and comments which are the best kinds of interactions to receive in terms of motivation because they can provide actual praise and feedback, telling a writer who enjoys your writing, what they enjoyed or where to improve.
I know that waking up to a flurry of comments makes my day more than checking on stats and seeing a couple more kudos — and it makes me more likely to continue writing for those fandoms.
And for posterity’s sake, here are my AO3 stats as of the 27th of February 2023 (for context I have 31 fics up at the moment):
22k of my word count came from fics posted over the last month that I got feedback for — which also account for 7 of my total comment threads.
Now let’s look at Tumblr — where your options for interactions are following a creator, leaving an ask, liking, reblogging or commenting on specific posts.
There isn’t a metric for tracking how many people have seen a post on Tumblr, obviously, so the closest thing we have are likes. And that is how I treat them — a track of who has and has not seen each thing I post — as opposed to a proper interaction. They’re nice, of course, but they’re sort of insignificant when you think about sharing content and such — especially when you get to bigger fandoms.
Asks are an amazing way to give feedback to a content creator as well as to send in requests if they accept them. That way even the more anxious of readers can participate and interact — which is great! But they tend to get clogged with demands, threats and hate if you leave anon on at the wrong moment — which I and other writers have experienced.
Reblogs and comments are probably the best way to motivate a writer — which I can absolutely corroborate. Even if you don’t think the post you liked will fit the theme of your blog, you’re welcome to create a sideblog just to reblog things you like. Nobody’s saying that it has to go on your main!
Now let’s look at all of that in real terms by comparing two of my side blogs: this one (@sleepingdeath-light) and my most recent (@sleepingdeath-bboys).
This blog (light) was started in 2021 and has 615 posts up as of now. I have 43,960 notes and write for 115 different fandoms. 2081 of you follow this blog and most of my interaction is through anonymous asks (over 200 right now) and likes with very few reblogs and even fewer that have any feedback with them (maybe 5 total off the top of my head).
My Baynton Boys blog was started at the end of January 2023 and has 49 posts up. i have 199 notes and write for 6 fandoms with a focus on characters played by a single actor (extremely niche). I still receive more likes than anything else but the margin is incredibly small as I also receive a large amount of tagged reblogs and requests from the other amazing writers in the fandom (@/jamiewintons and @/pink-booty-butts mainly, who you should defo follow if you’re interested in Mat Baynton content btw!).
I have written over 22k words and counting for the latter account because l feel so much more motivated and appreciated by the people I am writing for.
I have posted a few headcanon sets for this account in the same time period because I am massively lacking in the motivation to do anything else.
So in case you were ever up for debating it; interaction matters when it comes to any type of content creator. We’re not robots, we’re people giving you content for free — and it’s nice to know when people enjoy it. Like actually enjoyed it (especially if you were the one who requested it!).
#sleepingdeath#re: motivation and interaction#re: silent readers#bit of a rant so feel free to skip i guess
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ao3 please let me sort my subscriptions by date or something
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Yes, of course it did. I’m aware. But considering that was the easiest option at the time, the contemporary corollary to what I wrote would have been something like “imagine sending a personal messenger to 124 people’s houses to knock on their doors and hand deliver my fanfics straight to them”. The point is not the notion of the literal physical letter; the point is the extra step and investment that an ao3 subscription represents.
Fanfic in the days of printed fanzines was more underground and involved more effort by default so I can’t really backdate what I’m trying to get across in fandom terms. But consider the difference between walking into a normal bookstore and happening to see a new book by an author you’ve read and enjoyed previously vs subscribing to that author’s personal news letter (whether that is via email, blog post, physical letter, carrier pigeon, whatthefuckever). That subscription means you like this author so much that you always want to know immediately when they have something new out. What I’m saying is that it’s incredible and more than a little surreal that 124 people like my writing so much that they want to know about it every time I post a fanfic, no matter how smutty or self-indulgent or dashed off at 1AM or written for some new fandom I’ve fallen into headfirst this week it is. I phrased it in a silly and hyperbolic way to get the point across (I am also not literally kissing every single one of my Ao3 subscribers on the lips) but the emotion is very real. I mean, do you know how overwhelmed my email inboxes constantly are? The fact that people—people I don’t even know! People I may never have even spoken to! I can’t tell who they all are specifically bc Ao3 doesn’t share usernames of who’s subscribed to you, but like, I don’t have 25 people that I’m close friends with and talk to regularly in fandom, let alone 124, so it’s not like these people just feel an obligation of friendship, a lot of them must be here because they actually just love my writing—care enough about my fanfiction to make me another email they receive and sort through on a semi-regular basis is so genuinely touching. It’s incredible!!! It feels like the kind of investment that a handwritten letter, in the age of the cell phone, represents. The specificity of direction, that they’re not just on their phone idly and looking at their most recent activity, but are hoping to hear more of my words and my thoughts, specifically. The idea that if I did, for some reason, send out handwritten letters to let people know I am putting a fictional guy in situations again, there would be 124 people excited to receive that letter. That’s the point of it: my amazement that that many people care that much. About my fanfiction. And what a silly, glorious, heartwarming notion it is.
Ao3 subscriptions are so fucking wild to me. Every time I write my silly fanfictions and post them 124 people get an email just to let them know that this idiot is posting their fanfictions again. I send 124 people an email every time I write smut. Imagine sending 124 physical letters out just to be like “hello everyone, I put some guys we made up in our heads through the horrors again.” Absolutely absurd. I am kissing all of you on the lips.
#writing#I am not old enough to predate email but#I AM old enough to remember when you could make lunch while the computer was turning on#and when email was a Special Incredible Thing that you used RARELY bc it was also a pain in the butt#I promise you do not need to um actually sweetie me about pre-internet modes of communication
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My Fic Stats 2022
As 2022 has come and gone, it's time once again for me to take a look back at my fic stats, as I have in 2020 and 2021. AO3 doesn't quite have the functionality in terms of looking at stats historically that I would like, so I've taken it upon myself to keep track of my own stats, and at the end of each year I like to put together some graphs and have a look back. This is mostly just for me, but if you'd like to take a look then proceed below the cut!
First things first let's look at some overall numbers.
So first of all, I think it's really neat how similar the hits and kudos graphs are. I mean it makes sense - as hits go up, kudos go up - but it's still interesting to see HOW similar, right down to the tiny little bump near the end of the year.
You can see comment threads, word count, and subscriptions sort of plateauing this year. Interestingly bookmarks and user subscriptions aren't really doing that. I have been updating a WIP ~monthly, they're just short chapters, so I can see that being the reason for the bookmarks and user subscriptions, but it's interesting it doesn't have a similar effect on overall subscriptions and comments... although now that I give it more thought it probably does, it's just not as obvious because the bulk subscriptions and comments are IWOAK so that probably makes the increase look smaller in comparison, I guess?
Time to look at some individual fics!
This is a good reminder of what an outlier IWOAK is, so I'll be excluding it from most of the graphs going forward, but I did want to include this graph here because my baby finally broke 20k hits!! This was a very exciting milestone for me and I'm just thrilled that people are still reading it.
But anyway, let's take her out of the equation and see what we're left with:
And THIS is a good reminder that I have way too many damn fics to try to look at them in the same graph. So from here on out I'll be looking at the top 6 for each metric (and that's according to the metric I'm looking at, so it may be a different set of fics for, say, hits vs comments).
Alright we have some readable graphs now! Nice!
Nothing here is really surprising, I see my current WIP (Echoes of You) in there with some nice growth in terms of hits and kudos. Interestingly it's one of my podfics with one of the highest number of comment threads, but that's because it's 25 chapters and somebody went through and left comments on a bunch of them early on. I also find it interesting that Echoes of You doesn't show up in the bookmarks chart even though it's doing really well in hits, kudos, and comments.
Anyway, I think that's enough for now. It's been fun to take a few moments to have a look back at all of this! And if you've read to hear, I hope you've enjoyed it as well.
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There is exactly ONE thing I will give FanFiction.net props over verses AO3 and that's how they let you manage your fic subscriptions (or 'alerts' as they're called on FF.net).
Like, look at this! This is absolutely perfect! You can easily sort by date the fic was last updated (this is my favorite one because it makes it so easy to find abandoned fics & clear them out!), the fandom, or author name. Plus they show you the date you added the alert. And you can also mass delete alerts! It's a thing of beauty!
Now, look at what AO3 gives us. Basically nothing. You can't even tell what fandom, let alone what ship, a fic is for unless you click through to it. You can't sort it at all! Plus it's not even set up to have the most recent subscription showing first! It stupidly lists everything alphabetically.
It's the absolute worst.
#AO3#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfiction dot net#fanfic#fan fic#LET ME SORT MY SUBSCRIPTIONS AO3#I even emailed them about this and all I got back was some BS about it not being worth recoding the page#JUST GIVE ME THE SAME OPTIONS THAT I HAVE ON MY BOOKSMARK PAGE#THAT'S ALL I WANT
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