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03jyh23 · 2 days ago

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༘⋆mon's 500 followers special.ᐟ.ᐟ 500-word prompt roulette⟢

☕️┆more than just coffee

kim hongjoong x gn! reader

│synopsis: the one where hongjoong finally makes a move

│genre: fluff

│trigger warnings: none

│roulette prompt 4 + hongjoong

You were sprawled across the sofa in Hongjoong's studio. Being his best friend meant regular visits to his studio were mandatory - especially when armed with his favorite iced coffee. Though if anyone asked you, the coffee was just a bonus - you were the real gift, a fact you never failed to remind him whenever he pretended to be annoyed by your surprise appearances.

"...and the deadline is in two days! TWO DAYS! How am I supposed to finish this track when the company keeps changing their mind about the direction?" Hongjoong ran his fingers through his blue hair, sprawling on his chair.

You watched him with a small smile playing on your lips, finding his passionate rant endearing. His dedication to his work was one of the things you admired most about him.

Mid-rant, he caught your expression and stopped abruptly. "What?" he asks as your smile only widens, making him suddenly self-conscious. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

You smile. "You're just really cute when you talk."

Hongjoong's face flushes a deep red, and he quickly spins his chair back to face his computer screen. "I-I'm not cute," he mutters, but you can see the tips of his ears turning pink. "And stop distracting me, I need to work."

You got up from the sofa. "Alright, if you really want me to go..." you tease as you take your bag.

Hongjoong's head snaps up immediately, his eyes widening. "Wait, no - I didn't mean..." He trails off, looking torn between his work and not wanting you to leave. "Just... stay a bit longer? Please?"

"Only if you'll agree that you are cute," you say as you come close to him, ruffling his blue fringe. It always surprised you how he maintained his hair so soft while bleaching it at least twice a month. He takes your wrist, his eyes searching yours. "I don't want you thinking I'm cute," he almost whispers, tone suddenly serious as the atmosphere changes. "Y/N... do you really see me only as your cute friend?"

Your heart skips a beat at his question, at the intensity in his gaze as he still holds your wrist. The playful atmosphere from moments ago has shifted into something charged with unspoken feelings. You open your mouth to answer, but the words catch in your throat.

"What do you mean?" you ask softly, though your racing heart tells you that you know exactly what he means.

Hongjoong's grip on your wrist loosens, but he doesn't let go. His thumb traces small circles on your skin, "I mean... when you look at me, when you come here with coffee and make me laugh even on my worst days, when you stay despite my workaholic tendencies... what do you feel?"

You let out an awkward laugh, the sound coming out more like a puff of air than anything else. Your heart is thundering in your chest.

"I..." you start, trying to find the right words while fighting the urge to deflect with humor like you usually do. Your palms are sweaty, and you're terrified of ruining years of friendship with what you might say next. "I come here because..." you pause, swallowing hard. "Because I like being around you, you’re my best friend..." The last part comes out barely above a whisper, and you can't quite meet his eyes.

Hongjoong's hands tighten slightly around your wrist, and you can feel him tense at your words. "Best friend," he repeats, his voice carrying a hint of frustration. "Fuck it," he mutters, rising from his chair abruptly. Your breath catches in your throat as he pulls you closer, leaving barely any space between you. His eyes flicker to your lips before meeting your gaze again. "Maybe this will change your mind," he whispers, and before you can process what's happening, he closes the remaining distance.

His lips meet yours in a gentle kiss, soft and hesitant at first, as if he's giving you a chance to pull away. But when you respond by sliding your hands up to his shoulders, he deepens the kiss, one hand moving to cup your face while the other wraps around your waist.

You pull back, your heart racing as you try to catch your breath. "Well," you say with a nervous laugh, "I don't remember this being in the friendship contract. Did we miss a clause somewhere?"

Hongjoong rolls his eyes, giving you a light push. "Really? That's what you're going with right now?" He drops back into his chair, crossing his arms with an exaggerated pout. "Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you make dad jokes."

"It's part of my charm," you say, but your voice wavers slightly, still affected by the kiss.

"You're impossible," he mutters, but you can see the corners of his mouth twitching, fighting a smile.

"I like you too," you blurt out suddenly, making Hongjoong freeze. "And not just as a friend. I... I've liked you for a while now."

His eyes light up, a genuine smile breaking across his face. "Yeah?" he asks softly, reaching for your hand.

"Yeah," you confirm, intertwining your fingers with his. "Though I have to warn you, the coffee deliveries might get more expensive now that we're dating."

Hongjoong's eyebrows shoot up, and he gives you an incredulous look. "Oh, so we're dating now? Just like that?" He leans back in his chair with an amused smirk. "I don't remember being asked on a proper date yet. The audacity!"

You laugh, squeezing his hand. "Are you saying you want me to woo you, Kim Hongjoong?"

"I'm just saying," he says with an exaggerated sniff, "that a person of my caliber deserves at least a proper dinner invitation before being claimed as someone's boyfriend."

"Fine," you say, rolling your eyes fondly. "Kim Hongjoong, would you like to go on a date with me? Maybe somewhere that serves better coffee than what I bring you?"

His face breaks into that bright smile you love so much. "Now was that so hard?" he teases, pulling you closer. "And for the record, no coffee tastes better than the ones you bring me."

You pull him into another kiss, softer this time, filled with all the unspoken feelings you've held back for so long. When you finally break apart, you rest your forehead against his, both of you wearing matching grins. "So, about that date..." you start, but Hongjoong's already reaching for his coat.

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

♡│please join my 500 followers special!│

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littlemissshifter · 2 days ago

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Don't force a shift.

Why is everyone trying to force a shift?? Like literally everywhere I see it's 'I'll shift tonight' or 'I'll lock in and shift' or 'I didn't shift yesterday but I will tonight' like? You know you can rest yeah? You don't have to 'go' so bad. The moment you think of shifting to your drs is the moment you've shifted. Do you even know how shifting works? I mean can we just relax? What's such a hurry to change the physical plane? Yes I know you miss your s/o, your friends and your family there but continuously hoping but not understanding how things work is not going to get you anywhere.

Get out of your own way. You don't need anything to shift. Shifting is your nature. You're shifting every moment because you're changing your awareness every moment. I can say from experience that moment you want something your subconscious knows. Do you know that your mind knows what you want? Do you know that you don't have to 'try' to do anything? Do you know that you just have to know now you have it? Do you know? Do you?

I'm seriously so sick of people saying they're gonna shift doing this or doing that. I understand if methods help you. I'm not trying to shame you for that. But the problem is when you wake up in your cr again your sweetass thinks that you didn't shift. LIKE WHAT.

You shifted the moment you thought of shifting. Say it with me SHIFTING IS CHANGING AWARENESS ONLY. The moment you claim that you've shifted, YOU'VE SHIFTED!!!!

Stop with the 'my surroundings didn't change', 'I didn't feel any symptoms' or 'I didn't try to shift'. Do you try to shift when you change your awareness from looking at your hands to looking at your feet? Did you try anything here? You didn't right? Do you try to shift when you change your awareness from one thought to another? Did you try anything here? Did you?

When you know that awareness is the only thing that matters, then why the fuck are you looking in the physical plane? Your reality is YOU. You haven't 'physically shifted' yet because you didn't shift internally!! There is no secret to shifting. Just know that you're in your dr (because you are!). That's it. That's literally it. You don't have to pretend anything. Just know the truth.

There is no need to do any method while going to sleep. There is no need to connect to your dr. You're already in your dr you can't connect more than that. In your mind exists literally every reality ever. You're already connected to every reality. There is no need to force yourself to feel any emotion regarding shifting. There is no need to affirm throughout the day. There is no need to gaslight yourself into thinking you're already there when your awareness is here.

You have you let your physical plane be. Stop fighting with the 3D. Stop fighting with yourself. It will pass through you when you let it. Your reality will change when you let it.

Your only job is to know that you already exist in your dr and that you're there. Everything else will shift on it's own because it's you. You just have to shift internally, you just have to know. Shifting is as easy as breathing. Every single breath you take is also a shift. It is super easy to do. Stop being in your own way.

Let every thought pass. Let every feeling pass. The knowing is stronger than any thought, any emotion. Stop looking outside of you when the reason it even exists is YOU.

#shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting #shifting blog #shifting community #shifters #shifting antis dni #shifting reality #shifting realities #shifting consciousness #shifting motivation #shifting mindset #shifting advice #shifting awareness #shifting tips #shifting to desired reality #shifting rant #shifting experience #quantum shifting

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carisa-ironfell · 7 hours ago

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If you're going to church just for the "sermon" and want to get pissy about getting "lectured" instead, you're not actually listening to what's being said (or your pastor isn't saying the right things) and you definitely aren't going to church for the right reasons. It's just autopilot at that point, just a pointless ritual that doesn't mean anything. And I know this from experience because that's WHY I stopped going to church. I wasn't getting anything useful out of it, and the environment was taxing my mental health instead of helping me heal. I wasn't growing, I was just miserable and angry and bitter.

The point of church, as I've always understood it ever since I was little, is to connect with the other members of your community and help each other learn and grow and continuously become better people, to follow Jesus' teachings and LOVE people. You go to church to LEARN, and when needed, to be guided back to the right path by your pastor and/or your peers. That's literally their job. For example, most of Paul's writings. (Paraphrased: Y'all are acting crazy, stop doing that. Here's how to fix it.)

You don't have to agree with others' choices in order to love them, and something that a LOT of Christians seem to miss is: if you're not getting through to someone and you can't change their mind, let it go. The seed is planted, and there's a chance that years down the line, God will speak to that person and they'll be ready to listen. Shouting in their face (literally or figuratively) is only going to make them get defensive and shut down and push that time further away.

Anyway. No one who claims to be Christian or any kind of servant of God should be rejoicing in mass slaughter. And I've had to listen to "Christians" rant about how great and amazing the nightmare in Palestine and other Middle Eastern conflicts are, and it makes me sick. Whether you agree with them or not, people don't deserve to die like that. And if there's a member of a church who tries to implore the president to do something positive about that whole disaster, don't get pissed off with them, because they seem to understand the teachings better than you do.

I don't really consider myself Christian. I want nothing to do with that (generalized) group of people, because I have yet to meet any of them who make sense to me and can help me grow. I believe in God, I do my best to act in ways that reflects Him, but until the church starts shaping up and actually behaving with love and compassion instead of hatred, I'm not involving myself with them. It's dismal to watch and it makes my heart ache. And I can only imagine God probably feels the same way in a lot of cases.

I wasn't expecting to say this much ._. Uhh, sorry if anyone actually reads this lol Be safe and well! With love, Reggie 🤍

The lack of self-awareness is truly astounding.

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scribblesofagoonerr · 2 days ago

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𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓀𝑒𝓎 Our Girl: Growing Up | 𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒜𝓈 𝐿𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒜𝓈 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹, 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐵𝓎 𝑀𝑒

summary: the aftermath of the day & the match that changed things.

our girl: growing up masterlist

As soon as you stepped through the front door, your dad’s voice echoed harshly from the living room, “Where have you been, you little shit?”

Your stomach twisted, but you forced yourself to step further inside, gripping the strap of your school bag lightly. You hadn’t anticipated this–you hadn’t thought the school would call him.

“I… I wasn’t feeling well,” You mumbled, your voice barely audible, but your dad was already glaring at you from his spot on the sofa, “I spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office.”

“And what, they let you swan off like that?” Your dad snapped, his eyes narrowing.

“I, uh… The school nurse cleared it,” You stammered, shrinking under his gaze.

“Cleared it for what?” Your dad’s voice rose with frustration, “What was so bloody urgent?

You hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke, the words coming out in a rush, “I… I got my period, and I didn’t have anything with me. I–”

“Shut up!” Your dad barked, cutting you off before you could finish. His face twisted into an expression of disgust, and he waved a hand dismissively, “For God’s sake, I don’t want to hear about that. Go on–get out of my face.”

You flinched at the tone, biting the inside of your cheek to keep the tears from spilling. Without another word, you turned and trudged up the stairs, clutching your bag like it was a shield.

As you reached the top, you heard the unmistakable sound of your dad lighting a cigarette, the familiar click of the lighter followed by a long exhale of smoke. The smell drifted up toward your room, mingling with the knot of shame and anger in your chest.

Once inside your room, you shut the door quietly and sank onto the bed, staring at the wall. Your cheeks were still hot, and your hands trembled slightly as you replayed the exchange in your mind.

Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your phone, your fingers hovering over the screen. For a moment, you considered texting Leah, your thumb brushing over her contact name. But the thought of explaining what had happened felt like too much. Instead, you set the phone aside, curling up on your bed as you tried to block out the muffled sounds of your dad downstairs.

The day of the match finally arrived, but instead of excitement, all you felt was a knot tightening in your stomach. This was a big game–one of the biggest you’d played in–and the nerves were already eating at you.

As you passed through the kitchen, your dad’s voice cut through the silence like a blade, “Listen here,” He said, gripping your wrist so tightly it made you wince, “You’re going to lose today.”

You blinked, stunned, “W… What?”

Your dad’s fingers dug in harder, “You heard me,” He said coldly, “You’re going to lose. I want you to throw the match.”

“Dad, I… I can’t do that,” You stuttered through your words, your voice barely audible.

“You can and you will,” The man's voice had that dangerous edge that sent a chill through you, “Let them run rings around you. Mess up every pass. Every shot. Got it?”

Your heart pounded, “But–”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, girl,” Your dad’s grip tightened painfully, making you flinch as his eyes darkened and his voice lowered into something more threatening, “Do as I say. You know what happens when you don’t listen, don’t you?”

Your breath hitched, fear curling around your ribs like a vice, “Y… Yes, sir,” You whispered, nodding quickly.

“Good,” Your dad released his grip, straightening with a satisfied smirk, “Make sure you remember that. Don’t embarrass me today.”

The weight of his words clung to you like a storm cloud as you made your way to the stadium.

Football was the one thing that made you feel alive, the one thing that you felt you could do right. And now, even that was being stolen from you–twisted into something ugly, something tainted.

How were you supposed to step onto that pitch and pretend you didn’t care?

By the time you arrived at the pitch ahead of the game, your head was spinning. Your teammates were already warming up, their laughter and energy infectious as they easily passed the ball around–The sight should have settled your nerves.

instead, it only made the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Bit late today, aren’t we?” Leah teased from the sidelines, arms crossed, an amused glint in her eyes. Her words were harmless, but the second she got a proper look at you, her smile faded, “Are you doin’ alright, my girl?”

“Y… Yeah, I’m just a bit nervous,” You forced out, hating how unsteady your voice sounded.

Leah didn’t look entirely convinced, her sharp gaze searching your face for something you weren’t ready to share. But after a brief pause, she let it go with a small nod, “Alright,” She said as the hesitation lingered, “Go warm up with the rest of the girls. You’ve got this, my girl.”

You nodded stiffly, forcing your feet to move, but her words only made the weight in your chest heavier.#

Because you knew what was coming.

You knew what you had to do.

How were you supposed to do that, how were you supposed to let your team down–let Leah down–on purpose?

“Monkey!” One of your teammates called, her grin wide as she jogged over. She must’ve heard Leah shouting your nickname, “You’re here!”

“I’m… I’m here,” You echoed, though it felt like you weren’t really. Like you were hovering outside your own body.

“Excited for the game?” They questioned.

“Y… Yeah, I guess so,” You replied quietly in response.

Your response was shaky, and you weren’t sure if you were entirely that convincing but your teammate seemed convinced. She simply nudged you before pulling you along to warm up, the crowd on the sidelines slowly growing.

Your eyes scanned the growing crowd, and then–

Your whole body froze.

Your dad.

He was here. Watching.

Wearing a Chelsea shirt.

Your stomach dropped like a stone. Your breath came short and shallow, hands clenching at your sides. What was he doing here? Why now? Why this game?

“Monkey?” Leah’s voice cut through the noise, grounding you just enough to blink.

“Y… Yeah?” You stuttered, turning round to look at her.

You couldn’t let your dad see you with Leah, that would only make him more mad. You remember what happened after the last time, how you were kicked down to the floor unleashed with your dad’s wrath.

Could he do something worse this time?

Leah frowned, stepping closer, “Are you sure you’re alright? You look pale.”

“I’m… I’m fine,” You whispered, the words feeling all wrong in your mouth, “I just… I want to get start… started with the match.”

Your confidence felt shattered.

Leah didn’t look convinced, “If you want to sit this one, I’m sure your coach wouldn’t mind–”

“No!” You answered, a bit too quickly in response, “No, I… I mean, I’m fine. I’m good. I can play!”

And deep down, you knew–

You weren’t good at all.

“Monkey,” Leah continued to study you carefully, her brows knitting together in concern. But before she could press further, your coach called your team to huddle, leaving Leah no choice but to let it go for now.

“This is our game,”

“Yeah, let’s show them what we’ve got,”

The thought made your stomach churn. Your mind felt like a battlefield, your dad’s words echoed in your ears, his threats a constant drumbeat of fear.

But beneath it, something else stirred–a small, stubborn voice that refused to let him take this from you.

This was your game. Your passion. Your escape.

You took a deep breath, your grip tightening on the edges of your shirt as you made your decision–you weren’t going to throw this match. You couldn’t. Not for him.

The whistle blew, and the game began.

At first, you were tentative, your movements hesitant as you tried to find your footing. But with each passing minute, the rhythm of the game took over, the ball at your feet reminding you of why you loved this sport in the first place.

Nobody was going to take that from you.

The Chelsea team came out strong, their quick passes and sharp plays putting pressure on you and your teammates. But instead of shrinking under the weight of it, something inside her ignited.

You tracked back to make a crucial tackle, sliding in cleanly to steal the ball from one of the girls on the opposing team. The crowd erupted in cheers as you jumped to your feet, your confidence building. Moments later, you dribbled through two defenders with ease, your footwork sharp and precise.

“Go on, my girl!” Leah’s voice echoed across the pitch, full of pride and encouragement.

You felt your chest swell with determination. You weren’t just playing well–you were playing the best football of your life. Every pass was crisp, every shot deliberate. You weren’t holding back, not for anyone.

By halftime, the score was 1 nil in their favour, thanks to a perfectly timed assist from you that set your teammate up for a goal.

The atmosphere was electric, and your team buzzed with excitement. Your coach praised all of your efforts and Leah didn’t miss the chance to make her way over to you, a proud grin on her face.

Even despite your dad being there on the sidelines to watch, his anger coursing throughout him.

“Whatever’s got into you, keep it up, my girl,” Leah said, nudging you lightly, “You’re unstoppable out there today. Your brilliant!”

You smiled, a real one this time, and nodded, “Thanks, Le.”

But as the second half approached, the fear began to creep back in. You knew that your dad was watching, waiting for you to fail. Your hands trembled as you tied your laces, the weight of what awaited back at home pressing down on you.

“Hey,” Leah said softly, crouching down to your height, “You’ve got this, okay? Just play the way you have been. We’re all behind you.”

You nodded again, taking a deep breath as you pushed the fear aside. You couldn’t think about your dad right now. You had a job to do.

The second half was even tougher than the first, with Chelsea coming out stronger, determined to turn the game around. But you rose to the challenge, your focus unwavering.

You intercepted passes, made crucial tackles, and even came close to scoring a goal yourself. When the final whistle blew, the score stood at 2 - 1 in your team's favour, your contributions were undeniable.

As your teammates celebrated around you, you felt a mix of pride and dread. You’d done it–you had defied your dad and played your heart out. But as the cheers faded and the reality of going home to face your dad’s wrath set in, the knot in your stomach tightened once more.

Leah found you amid the celebration, pulling you into a tight hug, unaware of your dad’s dark scowl etched on his face looking right at her, “I’m so proud of you, my girl. You were incredible today!”

You clung to her for a moment, drawing strength from Leah’s words. You were fearful of what would be waiting for you at home, but for now, you let yourself enjoy the joy the game that you loved, the game you refused to let anyone take from you.

Of course, your dad was furious about it, watching from the stands. You had deliberately disobeyed his words, and that wouldn’t be taken too kindly. He didn’t like the way that Leah had run over to you, lifted you into her arms and swung you around, and he was going to make damn sure that you learnt your lesson about going against him.

Feeling brave, he decided to storm over there and confront Leah, who was now standing back with Jordan, a proud smile etched on her face but that faltered when she spotted your dad approaching the two of them. She nudged Jordan.

“Is he coming over to talk to you?” Jordan questioned.

“I believe so,” Leah mumbled a response, subtly pulling out her phone and unlocking the camera app. She’s not about to waste the opportunity to record this conversation when she could use this to her advantage.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” Your dad snarled, his tone dripping with hostility. He glared at both Leah and Jordan like they’d committed a personal offence by showing up.

Jordan frowned, her arms crossing defensively, “We’re here to support Monkey and watch the game. What’s your problem?”

“My problem?” Your dad spat, steering closer his finger jabbing the air towards Leah, “You think I don’t know what this is about? You pair both sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. This is my kid, not yours!”

Leah kept her expression neutral, though the tension in her shoulders betrayed her unease. She kept her phone angled just enough to capture your dad’s face, the aggressive body language, and every word he was spewing.

“I’m working with the coaching staff,” Leah said smoothly, her voice calm and measured, “It’s part of my development work with the academy.”

“Bullshit!” Your dad shouted, causing a few heads to turn. Parents nearby were starting to glance over, some whispering among themselves, “Neither of you should be here, you have no right to be! You're here, filling my kid’s head with ideas. Do you think you’re some kind of saviour?”

“Mark, lower your voice,” Jordan interjected, stepping forward while her tone was sharp and protective, “You’re causing a scene.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Your dad barked, his voice booming, “Mind your own business, both of you! I’m her father, and I’ll handle her however I damn well please.”

Leah’s grip on her phone tightened and she took a glance at Jordan, silently telling her to keep calm. This wasn’t the time to escalate things–they needed your dad to dig his own grave. And he was doing a fine job of that.

“Mark,” Leah said evenly, tilting her head slightly, “We’re just here to support the team. Your daughter played brilliantly today. I think you should be proud, instead of over here and trying to cause an argument.”

Your dad��s face darkened, his hands curling into fists at his side, “Proud? Proud of her?” He scoffed, “She didn’t listen! She disobeyed me, and now I’ve got to deal with it. You two think you’re helping, but you’re just making things worse. Neither of you should be here, you have no right!”

Leah raised her eyebrows, her own heart pounding as she kept her voice calm, “Making things worse how?” She questioned, “By being here? By showing her she’s supported?”

“You don’t get it!” Your dad roared, stepping closer, his voice lowering but losing none of its venom, “She’s mine. Mine to discipline, mine to teach a lesson. And if you keep meddling, you’ll regret it.”

Jordan couldn’t hold back any longer, “You don’t scare us, Mark,” She said coldly, her glare unwavering, “And you sure as hell aren’t teaching her anything but fear.”

Mark whipped his head toward her, but Leah quickly stepped in, “Mark, this isn’t the time or place for this,” She said firmly, “Let’s not cause a bigger scene.”

However, your dad wasn’t backing down. His lips curled into a sneer as he spat, “Do you think you’re better than me, Leah? Do you think you know what’s best for my kid? Keep dreaming.”

Leah forced a polite, tight-lipped smile, “I think that your daughter deserves to feel safe and supported, and I’ll do my damn best to make sure she knows that. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I think we’re done here.”

She didn’t wait for a response, tugging Jordan’s arm and pulling her towards the exit. Your dad shouted something after them, but Leah didn’t turn back. Instead, she stopped just outside the stands, ending the recording and saving the video, before she let out a shaky breath, finally letting some of the tension leave her shoulders.

“That was intense,” Jordan muttered, her jaw tight, “That man is completely unhinged.”

Leah nodded, her mind already racing, “Yeah, but now we’ve got it on record. It’s just… The way he talks about her, his threats, the way he doesn’t care about who’s watching–it’s all right here,” She held up her phone, “This is exactly what the social worker needs to see.”

“You’re right,” Jordan’s expression softened as she glanced at Leah, reaching out to rest a hand on Leah’s shoulder, “You’re doing the right thing, Le. Monkey knows that you’re in her corner. She knows you’ve got her.”

Leah swallowed hard, the lump in her throat making it difficult to speak. She blinked rapidly, trying to fight back the storm of emotions threatening to break through, “She has got us,” She echoed, her tone growing stronger. But then, a deep, unsettling thought crept into her mind, and she exhaled sharply, “I just have a bad feeling about what’s coming next.”

At home, the storm broke. Mark’s voice thundered through the small house, his words sharp and biting as his rage erupted, filling every corner of the room.

“You think you can disobey me and get away with it?” Your dad snarled, each syllable laced with venom, “You’re pathetic, girl. You’ll never be good enough. Never.”

You stood there, frozen with your head bowed while the weight of his words sank deep into your chest. They cut deeper than any physical blow ever could. Your body trembled, but your voice was trapped, caught somewhere between fear and disbelief. You wanted to speak up and defend yourself, but your throat was tight, and the words wouldn’t come out.

Your dad’s footsteps grew louder, the air around the two of you heavy with impending violence. His towering figure cast a menacing shadow as he took a step closer, the tension thick and suffocating. Your dad’s hand twitched at his side, the familiar movement signalling the next strike.

Your instincts kicked in before your mind could even process it. The moment your dad’s hand rose, you flinched violently, your body reacting before your brain could catch up. In a split second, you were running–running towards the door, desperate to escape.

“Don’t you dare run away from me!” Your dad roared, his voice filled with fury as it chased her into the night.

The cold air slapped your face as you burst through the door, the world around you dark and blurry. Your legs pumped furiously, carrying you as far away from him as they could. Your lungs burned, and tears blurred your vision, but you couldn’t stop.

You wouldn’t stop.

Your heart pounded, and your hands shook violently as you scrambled for your phone in your pocket, fingers slipping in your panic. It felt as though the device weighed a ton, but finally, you found the contact you were looking for.

Leah.

Your thumb hovered over the call button, your breath ragged as you fought to steady your trembling hands.

The phone rang. Once. Twice.

The sound felt too loud in the quiet night, a sharp reminder of your fear spiralling as you were wary in case your dad found you before it was too late.

Finally, the call connected, and your voice cracked as you whispered into the phone, “L… Le! I need… I need your help. Please.”

#woso x reader #scribblesofagoonerr #monkey #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso one shot #leah williamson x reader #jordan nobbs x reader

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solxamber · 1 day ago

Note

For the event, could I request Leona, romantic, with "Waiting on the Sun" by Citizen Soldier? First time listening to this after discovering Twisted had me wailing in the car haha

i was crying at the club when i heard it... it suits leona so well oh my god

Waiting on the Sun || Leona Kingscholar

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: Waiting on the Sun by Citizen Soldier

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1010

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Realization of feelings

Leona has never been one for dreams.

Dreams are a fool’s game, a glimmer of hope strung out in front of desperate people, forcing them to chase something they’ll never catch. He learned early on that hope was nothing but a pretty lie wrapped in a silver ribbon, and in the end, the ribbon always frayed.

The world never made space for second sons, and the sun never rose for men like him.

He should have stopped waiting for it years ago.

But somehow, you're still here—sitting beside him in the shade of a tree, legs stretched out, your presence quiet yet steady. You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t need you to. That’s what he likes about you. You don’t fill the silence with empty words or meaningless comfort. You don’t try to fix him, like so many others before you.

You just exist beside him and that’s enough.

Leona doesn’t remember when you became his safe place.

At some point, your presence became a constant, as natural as the way he stretches out on the grass for an afternoon nap or the way the sun burns through the endless sky. You were just there—like an inevitable force of nature.

And damn if he doesn’t resent how much he needs it.

Because he does need it. He needs you in ways he’ll never admit aloud, in ways that make his stomach twist and his throat tighten. You make it so easy to believe, even when he’s spent a lifetime telling himself not to.

Somewhere along the way, you learned him too well. You can tell when his bitterness sharpens, when his patience wears thin, when he’s barely holding onto the threads of his temper. You don’t try to drag him into the light, but you don’t let him drown in the dark, either.

Instead, you just sit with him.

Like now.

Leona exhales, tipping his head back against the rough bark of the tree. The weight of the past few days lingers in his bones, making him feel heavier than usual. The exhaustion never fully leaves—it clings to him like a second skin.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Your voice is soft, cutting through the stillness.

Leona cracks an eye open. “Doubt it.”

You huff, barely phased by his dry remark. “You think nothing’s ever going to change. That you’re stuck in a cycle you can’t break. That waiting for things to get better is pointless.”

He stiffens, the words settling deep in his chest like stones. “You got all that just from lookin’ at me?”

“I got all that from knowing you.”

That shouldn’t make his heart stutter the way it does.

He doesn’t say anything, just turns his gaze back to the horizon. It stretches on endlessly, a vast expanse of golden plains and open sky. The view should be freeing. Instead, it feels like a cage with invisible walls.

A future that will never belong to him.

A throne that will never be his.

A world that will never see him as anything more than the spare.

The sun has never risen for men like him.

“I know what you’re going to say next,” he mutters. “That I should ‘keep trying.’ That things’ll ‘work out’ eventually. That if I just—”

“I’m not going to say that.”

He stops.

You tilt your head, a gentle smile pulling at your lips. “I’m not here to tell you to change. I’m not here to tell you things will magically get better. I just…” Your fingers brush over the back of his hand, tentative and warm. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to shoulder it alone.”

His breath catches.

No one has ever said that to him before.

No one has ever meant it before.

Leona has spent his whole life carrying the weight of his own bitterness, his own resentment, his own failures. No one ever told him he could set it down. No one ever offered to help him hold it.

No one but you.

His fingers twitch under yours.

Leona has never been one for dreams.

But when he looks at you, he wonders if maybe, he’s been waiting on the wrong thing all this time.

He doesn’t realize he’s in love with you until much later.

Maybe it’s the way you laugh, soft and easy, like the world has never once hurt you. Maybe it’s the way you look at him—like he’s not a disappointment, not a failure, not a second son who never mattered. Maybe it’s the way you never push him to be anything other than who he is.

Maybe it’s everything.

But when he finally does realize, it hits him like a landslide.

And suddenly, he’s terrified.

Because what if he loses this?

What if he loses you?

Leona doesn’t pray, but he does now.

He prays that you never leave. That you never wake up one day and decide that he’s too much trouble, that he’s too broken, that he’ll never be what you deserve.

He prays that this feeling—the quiet warmth that seeps into his bones whenever you’re around—never fades.

And yet, he still can’t bring himself to say it.

Not yet.

The words finally escape him on a night like this—under a sky filled with stars, your hand resting lightly in his, your head against his shoulder.

“Stay.” His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper.

You shift slightly, peering up at him with wide eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He exhales sharply, his grip tightening around yours. “No, I mean—” His throat works, the words catching like sandpaper. “Stay with me.”

Understanding dawns in your eyes, and for a moment, he thinks you might say no. That you might turn away.

But then you smile—soft, warm, home.

“Okay.”

Leona doesn’t believe in miracles.

But when you press your lips to his, slow and tender and real, he thinks that maybe the sun has been shining on him all along.

He just hadn’t noticed.

Masterlist ; Valentine's Event

#ˋ°•*⁀➷ valentine's event #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar #leona

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circeyoru · 3 days ago

Text

Breaking Up 101 = Requested

The Request

[Mafia Boss!Sung Jinwoo x Completely Opposite Lover!Reader - Mafia AU]

Weakness is something that everyone has―even the most powerful, strong, and influential people. For some, a weakness is something to use to threaten another, while others might not even have one to speak of, then there are those that have more than one, maybe a whole list. Who knows. But how does one handle his or her weakness? Protect? Hide? Shelter? Destroy? Ignore? Now, that could create many scenarios and potential outcomes.

Picture the big bad. The worst of the worst. The coldest and cruellest in the neighbourhood. The mightiest and most important in the Underworld. The one person who controls an entire domain of the country with the pure power and might of his strength and fearsome aura. The one person that everyone once disregarded as the weakest and most insignificant when he came from a well-known morally good family and was the heir. The one who rose in power and influence like flipping a switch. The one who was said to be emotionless and bloodthirsty. How would you handle being that big bad’s weakness?

You pouted as you stared at the plushie in the glass box. The claw moved as you directed and descended into the pile to grab something. There, it grabbed onto one of them but quickly dropped it back into the pile within seconds and rolled a bit closer to the exit that would let you claim your prize. If you had powers, you want telekinesis right now so that you wouldn’t have to waste your money. Well, it wasn’t your money per se, but― Hold up…

When your train of thought went back to a familiar pattern, your head snapped to the side that would shame horror actors and actresses. The figure next to you flinched at attention with a twitching smile, already aware of the issue you’ll bring up. Your glare changed its target from the plushies to your supposed guard entertainer. Though there was another name you’ll label, “Mister time-staller,” You gave him an innocent and threatening smile. “Where oh where is your boss, hm?”

“Boss had something to handle urgently…” Beru, the killing machine and menace of the Underworld―infamous assassin that gave the government and officers an early grave when encountered, was reduced to a mere plushie holder. Right at this moment, he was the receiver of your impatient and cute complaint wrath. “Boss said you can do anything while waiting for him to arrive.”

You raised an eyebrow at him; a thought came to mind. “Anything?”

“Anything.” Beru nodded confidently.

“If you say so.” You showed the assassin your open palm, “Give me your phone.”

Elsewhere, in a dark and damp underground basement area, guards in black uniforms all stood at attention, and posh was surrounded all sides of the room. Some of a more diminutive and leaner stature wore a mask that mimicked the mouthpiece of a helmet from a suit of armour―The Knights Family, others with a bigger and buffer build covered their face with an animal or insect-based mask―there were the more noticeable families; The Frost Family and The Skitter Family. Of course, many more families within this powerful mafia weren’t present.

Then, there were the two unique guards among the group. It was debatable to the outsider which one was the ‘Underboss’ or ‘Consigliere’ as each of the three (not two because one was stationed elsewhere, wink, wink) were equally important and essential to the boss. There was the ‘Capo’ of The Knights Family, Igris who was infamous for his use of bladed weaponry and having incredible wisdom and insight to aid in his boss’ ascend for he had been with the boss since the beginning. The strongest candidate for ‘Consigliere’ and the one from a fallen mafia but now follows the new boss under the selection of his former, Bellion who was built like a tank and unrivalled in brute force and power.

Standing on top of such an impressive group of people was the boss, Sung Jinwoo. Like a snake shedding its skin, he was nothing like the former weakling he was. He was the unmoveable boulder that people must bend to and watch out for, not that insignificant pebble on the side of the road. To ensure his family’s safety and survival, he had to turn to the world’s darker side. He was taken in by a fallen mafia boss who was hunted by the others who were once his comrades in arms against the light. He has proven himself challenge after challenge after challenge that he deserved power and status. He will gasp at anything that could save his mother from the hospital. Even being the shadow everyone now fears and shivers at the thought of him.

“I don’t care why you betrayed me. Just tell me where and who you send that information to.” Jinwoo’s eyes bore into the lying figure on the floor under a puddle of his own blood and wheezing softly from the wounds all over his form. From that poor soul’s perspective, the lighting gave Jinwoo’s eyes an ominous purple glow and his shadow appeared neverending. Jinwoo looked like the judge of Hell with his black clothing from head to toe, that handsome appearance that would make men green with envy and ladies melt into the ground was haunting his very core. Or he could be near death and hallucinating Jinwoo’s otherworldly aura.

“...I… I can’t tell… I was framed…” The man breathed out in gasps as if he were underwater, lacking oxygen. “There’s a traitor… in your mafia…”

A dark chuckle shook the man’s core. The man heard that this frightening boss was young compared to the others. He heard that this cruel boss was all brute force and murder with no tact. He heard that this powerful boss lacked experience and was an easy target for rumours and sways. Yet why the moment his near lifeless eyes met with those cold chilling pair staring down at him with disapproval from highup did his instincts telling him every one of those beliefs were just… a lie?

“I… I can’t…” Tears wanted to flow down his eyes in dispair. He was nothing in the grand scheme of things. It was disposable to the ones in power. He didn’t have information of what he was getting himself into nor why he was needed to do it. It was just an order and that’s that. Complete the mission and return to live another day until the next order. Or, fail the mission and face death by whoever will be his judge.

The other with the same mission and order as him had already suffered their fates. Their bodies scattered all around him, mixing their blood with his, men or women all weren’t met with any form of mercy. Some were cut down like butter with Jinwoo’s trusty daggers, some were devoured by tigers and wolves the mafia trained and kept around, then there were some that died with their heads detached from their bodies for threatening harm upon Jinwoo’s weaknesses.

“I really… don’t… know…” If he had known something―anything―he could would have given it up for his life was more important to loyalty when he was being thrown away and subjected to such torture. Sung Jinwoo, the boss of the infamous Shadow Mafia, wasn’t human; he was the god of death to everything and everyone that crossed him. “Please…”

Just as Jinwoo was about to speak, a familiar ringtone cut through the silence and everyone stared at Jinwoo’s coat pocket. The man blinked and shifted his dagger from one hand to the other, he fished out his phone and read the caller. There was a brief unnoticeable sigh of relief before he took the call, “I told you, no amount is too big, just continue to stall some more time before I can make it there.”

The silence after Jinwoo’s words made him listen closely to the background sound. There was the loud music from what he recognized as the tune from the arcade you’d frequent to go through the pain of trying to get one plushie or whatever was inside when he could have just brought them all. “Where’s the fun in that?” You once exclaimed in his face and pushed him into the hot seat to get your prize. When the prize did―finally―fall down and you were clinging to his side with a koala from sheer happiness, it was worth all the trouble. But he fixed the scam he noticed while playing, the shop owner had her life flashed before her eyes.

“Beru?” Jinwoo asked. There was no way Beru would be in an arcade alone. Issue was… He couldn’t hear you at all in the background. No usual scolding at the machine or begging the claw to hold onto your prize. Nothing. “Beru, if you do not say anything I’ll―”

“Sung Jinwoo!”

Everyone―and I mean everyone in the room―flinched from the volume. Even the idle guards and the two right-hand men of the boss flinched. As for the guilty man himself? Now only a few people on the planet have the right and authority to call this crazy boss by name, not to mention shout his name in his face so freely. Even without that right, by voice alone, Jinwoo knew who was on the other end.

“Love, why do you have Beru’s phone?” Jinwoo immediately cleared his throat to make his voice gentler and turned his back to the confused dying man on the ground. His other hand played with his dagger as he tried to find ways of calming your anger. “Aren’t you enjoying yourself?”

“Aren’t you smart to have our meeting place be in an arcade!?” He could imagine the puffed-up cheeks while you scolded him. “I have been playing, no, waiting for 2 hours! Where are you?!”

Jinwoo chuckled at your blunder, as he thought, you couldn’t resist the claw machines. His head turned to the side to eye down at the mess he made. Had he really been taking that long while he kept you waiting? “Love, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“No need! We’re done! I’m going home and you never show your face in front of me again!” And the phone was hang up.

Doo… Doo… Doo…

Igris and Bellion looked at each other with wide eyes while the other guards all shivered. Not just because of their boss’ growing murderous aura, but also because of your words. If anyone could save them from their boss’ wrath, it was you. You were basically the unofficial boss since Jinwoo treated you like royalty, you were usually dubbed the Mini-Boss. Anyways, back to the situation at hand, everyone was in for some form of pain.

Within the few seconds of Jinwoo turning around, he threw the dagger at the man and pinned him back into the wall that was a few meters away. It pierced his heart and he was dead on the spot right then and there. Jinwoo turned back to his men, “Right now. Top priority…”

Everyone fell to their knee and bowed their head as they waited for their order.

“Get me everything that my beloved ever wanted.” Jinwoo glared down at them and promised. “Meet me in front of my darling’s place in two, no, one hour. Go!”

With that, everyone scrabbled to get out of the basement and immediately worked to regain your favour. Jinwoo kicked a head into another wall and instantly shattered it into a splat of broken bones and mushy flesh. You were his light, his saving grace, his everything. There was no way he would give you up from just a mere phone call. Even if it were something you wanted and done face-to-face, he still wouldn’t give you up for anything.

He headed to a flower shop as he carefully ordered your favourites and had the staff working much more diligently to make you the most perfect bouquet you’ve ever seen, even better than the previous one he sent you. From the paper’s colour to its pattern, to how the ribbons should be tied, he wrote down carefully on the plate surrounded by flowers ‘I’m sorry’ in cursive. He learned these random and trivia knowledge for you so he would know what was best for you on different occasions. After all, you deserved nothing but the best of the best in his eyes.

At first, he envied how your life was so bright and light. He envied your freedom and words that proved you were ignorant of the darkest in the world―in human beings like him and his rivals that he crushed. How you effortlessly took him in from the rain after a mini mafia spat. As you said, he looked like a drenched-kicked puppy in the rain when you walk past him. He was just waiting for Beru to pick him up in his car. Though, you amused him and he let you take him back to your home. You gave him hot chocolate like he was a kid and had him dressed in an oversized hoodie and pants you accidentally ordered the wrong size. Then you two were watching a movie together.

You were so defenceless and innocent, you asked no questions and just showed him kindness without asking anything. You did ask him to clean up after himself when he had a mess, and make himself at home, but that was all there was to it. Even when Beru came to pick him up, you assumed he was friends with Jinwoo and immediately had him join the movie night since you were lonely when your friends were all busy with their studies.

Another meeting and another chance encounter, then you two were dating. When you accidentally found out about his identity as a mafia boss, you hugged the him that was drenched in blood and held daggers in each hands. You cried for his lost childhood and innocence like you were his past self and emotions he locked away. He dropped his weapons and walls for you and hugged you close to his chest. You were a gift in his life. You were his saviour. You were his human self that would have been if he didn’t embrace the darkness.

So no matter what, he can’t give you up.

Jinwoo’s heart beat a million times per second, he felt as if he was a criminal being trialled by a merciless judge. He was the one up on the chopping block. His men were nowhere to be seen, but he couldn’t afford to wait any longer, every second lost was another chance wasted to win you back. His hand hovered over the fingerprint lock on the door, it had yours, his and some of his top men registered, but would he still be able to get in? Have you already removed his print from it to shut him out?

He’ll admit, his line of work was brutal and unpredictable. There were many dates where you waited for him to arrive for hours until he had to cancel altogether and get one of his top three to escort you home. You had been patient with him and this was your breaking point. Perhaps, you didn’t want an unfaithful lover like him, or you had better choices from the people flocking to you like moth to a flame. His hovered hand shook as the thought and reality of you leaving him could be a possibility.

Yet when it all came down to it. He rather you be happy in your life than suffer under the waves of your tears. He couldn’t lock you up and hide you from the world. You deserved to be dancing under the sunlight and singing melodies that enchanted anyone lucky enough to hear. You deserved it all, but he might not deserve your smile and laughter directed at him.

Beep!

The sounds of the lock unlock rang in his ears, his eyes widened in shock and surprise. His muscle memory clicked in place and his hand pushed open the door, his feet gracefully kicked off his shoes and nudged it to the side. He entered the dark apartment and closed the door behind him. He thought you might be in your room, you turned off all lights when you were in your bedroom to save money when he told you many times he would pay for it all cause you would bump into things in the dark. His hand moved to the switch and turn on the lights.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

“Happy birthday!” Voices all bombarded his ears.

His eyes blinked repeatedly until he adjusted his sight to the lighting. His form froze and his eyes stared at the scene before him. The living room was decorated as a party would have, with ribbons all over the place and a banner at the center that said ‘Happy Birthday, Sung Jinwoo’ with a little heart at the end. Then there was his family and you wearing party hats while holding mini confetti cannons, the colourful paper and plastic pieces where all over him and the floor.

“I think brother’s in shock, should I send him to the hospital?” Jinah, his sister, snickered.

“Dear, I don’t think it was that.” His mother sighed, scolding you momentarily, “You gave him a heart attack.”

“But aunt― mother, how else would the dummy even make it over? I waited for hours in the arcade!” You pouted and complained.

Frankly, you all were still bickering and talking while Jinwoo was trying to wrap his head around what was happening. Birthday? It was his birthday? So you didn’t want to break up with him? Everything was fine? His eyes honed in on you still arguing with his family; the picture was so natural, as if you were part of his family.

So, was this all planned? For him? To surprise him?

The flowers were abandoned on the floor and his arms caged you, pushing you into his chest as his face buried itself into your shoulder. “Beloved… You scared me…”

“Sorry, sorry.” You laughed as you returned the hug. “I knew you didn’t even remember your birthday when you pushed our last cancelled date to today…” You played with his hair while you eyed Igris and Bellion peeking their heads through the door behind Jinwoo with what you had them buy. “Today should be about you having fun, not working! Come on!” You let go and dragged Jinwoo into the living room to start the party. “Let’s forget you as the big bad mafia boss! Here, you’re just Jinwoo.”

“My lovely son.” His mother smiled at him.

“My stupid but cool big brother.” Jinah popped another confetti cannon in his face.

Before he could give his sister a messy hair makeover, you cupped his cheek and brought his lips to yours, “And my lover and future husband.”

“Wooow!!!”

“Congratulations!!”

Claps and cheers echoed all over.

“What?” Jinwoo was shocked with another surprise.

“Yup!” You cheekily smiled, “You’re not my boyfriend anymore! That’s why we’re breaking up! Hehe! I beat you to the punch!”

Jinwoo snapped his head at his mother and sister for confirmation and their smiles said all he needed, “I wanted to give you the perfect confession though…” His hand cupped the side of your face, his thumb caressed your cheek with a soft touch as if you were made of glass. “A pity, but I’m not going to refuse your bold offer.”

You returned his gentle embrace with your own, even clung to him by the neck so you could have him bend down to your level to give him a kiss on the lips. “You will always only be Sung Jinwoo to me. You’re the only one for me.”

“And you’re the only one that can make my heart race so much.” Jinwoo smiled, his gaze gentle yet possessive, as if he and you were the only two people left in this world. You knew and he knew you knew that he could do anything for you. Even if he had to turn his back against it for your safety or happiness or both, he’d do it in a heartbeat. If you were ever gone from his life, he’d burn the world down. What good was all his power if he couldn’t protect and care for his family and you? “I love you.”

“I love you more.” You breathed, nuzzling into his chest.

“I love you more than you.”

“I love―”

“Okay, stop that cheesy romance thing!” Jinah came between the two of you, more like pulled you away from her brother since she couldn’t even push him to move for one inch when it came to being close to you. “We’re supposed to celebrate your birthday together, not be third wheels and watch a live romance film in the making.”

You blushed while Jinwoo glared at his sister for the interruption. You tugged Jinwoo’s sleeve and he immediately stopped his glaring to give you the puppy dog eyes, “Let’s enjoy the cake I made you.”

“Whatever you say, My Beloved.”

Note: Okay I promise the next one is from one of the ongoing series. I had fun writing this one~ So any comments? Or some banter you guys think would happen between these two? I'm curious.

Oh oh!! Also another trivia I wanted to know if you guys caught on. Do you know which family referred to which group of Shadows?

𝕮𝖎𝖗𝖈𝖊 𝖄.

My Works: MASTERLIST *(regarding requests, check the Masterlist to see if it’s opened or not and other info related before sending one. Thanks.)

Taglist: @rozuburedo @ariseverdark @skylar896 @o-qi-shisme

#Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #Solo Leveling #Only I Can Level Up #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling jinwoo #sung jin woo x reader #sung jinwoo x reader #sung jinwoo #sung jinwoo x you #jinwoo #Mafia AU #Breaking Up 101

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guzmawife · 9 hours ago

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🍓: he had no job when i met him but now he works at a high school as an errand boy / security (his children attend said school). hes the guy they call in when a real teacher needs to use the bathroom so he can watch the class. or to retrieve some papers from the printer. go get me that thing boy.

🍒: probably just chilling at home with snacks and movies and fast food. or chillen at the beach. 🏝️

🍎: tapu cocoa.. we all know dis.. hot sweet drinks…

🍉: hes not religious other than believing that a higher power exists. hi arceus..

🍑: totally more comfortable giving gifts. hes used to taking care of others so it’s pretty natural for him to be giving. he has no issue receiving but its not rlly a priority since he didnt come from much so hes used to not rlly asking for much.

🍊: i make him peel it. he knows my paws and claws have to stay clean… he’s comfortable with getting dirty and i am not!

🥭: no i domt think so. his dad was a prick and said shit like. Youre not a woman so you dont need those. fuckkkk that guy.

🍍: probably him being mentally manipulated and abused! 😿 killing all the people that taught him he wasn’t anything and made him feel like he had to act out in order to prove himself to others. hhhggffg. he deserves to be loved.

🍌: he likes to be in the dark. das it. no specific reason why.

🍋: he would probably change his hothead nature bc he doesn’t like how quickly he gets upset and makes bad decisions. and his hairline.

🍋‍🟩: he tells people if you squish bugs more will keep showing up. as a joke. heehe. sorry im gonna squish them still im a pussy.. thats probably why they keep showing up though. i have an actual curse. maybe he’s right man…

🍈: he thinks fate is bogus and if you want something to happen you have to make it happen.

🍏: hes bisexual and questioning demisexuality, he learned of his bisexuality through being in denial of liking the same sex and being like. This is ruining my tough guy personality. This can’t be. but then it kept happening and he was like man fuck this whatever. what the hell sure. he became normal. he’s still figuring out the demisexuality, to put it simply he just doesnt want to engage in sexual acts with anyone unless he has a genuine connection to them. it also just feels better for him. sorry for airing out your business Anywayyyyyy. Anyway.

🍐: he’s a nail biter its kinda gross sorry man. his nails are short always so i make him do short nail tasks since my nails are usually pretty long. i think he bounces his legs sometimes too. he knows i hate that shit thou so he tries not to. usually i just leave so he can shake all he wants. then hes like what wait no….

🥝: he would totally let me do his makeup. we’re both pretty lazy when it comes to makeup so we don’t so anything complex. i just do mascara and corner highlights and SOMETIMES lipstick and that’s it. #autistic i cant stand having too much shit ok my face. this isn’t even about me brah. he does simple makeup too since he’s just not super experienced. he just tries things sometimes but he’s not a professional. he just wants to look cool.

🫒: he’s a big hugger he squeezes too tight but it feels good though…. (´ ω `♡) he likes to be hugged too! yey!

🫐: definitely more of an artist he actually keeps a sketchbook. right brained yeah.

🍇: if we never met i think he might still be getting himself into some trouble tbh. he’s pretty stubborn.

🥥: he draws he plays games. he works out. he cooks. i think he would want to get into gardening but his location doesn’t allow for it since it’s always fucking raining.

🍅: i think he would get me testosterone or something that i can’t possibly get safely right now. or like. my own living space. or some rare pokemon card / plush that costs more than an organ online. sigh. or probably 1 billion dollars. muhehw.

🌶️: he drinks ginger ale. ginger ale the ultra cure.

🫚: hes not picky. he cant eat beans bc hes allergic to them. but i dont think hes picky since he has to make sure his kids eat first. so he eats whatevers left from them. leftover amalgamation.

🥕: he didnt like them but he ate them anyway bc his parents were mean :(

🧅: he cries when hes angry like super fuming. and when hes thinking about his past. hes just mad at himself for what happened and how he handled things. Basically. getting manipulated and taken advantage of makes him upset and he cries. he doesnt cry at movies unless he relates to them.

🌽: does bugs counts as animal. He likes dogs. and isopods. and other sea creatures.

🥦: pet peeves are getting called ‘boy’ or ‘kid’. i used to call him boy all the time just by habit and he would Not like that. “I’m not a boy. I’m a man. stop callin me dat…” okaaayyy whatevar. he doesnt have an issue with me calling him dude tho. despite being his lover. which is a little funny. um what else. people not knocking before entering. leaving empty cartons and stuff in the fridge or cabinet. ppl telling him he looks tired. or people calling him old. not that he has an issue with old people (😽) but its like. How did you even reach that conclusion.

🥒: hes afraid of ultra beasts a little.. specifically uh whats its name. nihilego. that bird that i hate. middle finger emoji. hes like. a little more hesitant with UBs than regular mons. he’s also got a fear of getting lost.

🥬: beige flags auumm i hate his ugly fucking sunglasses. and when he says. ya boy (pinches the space between my brows). peeing with the door open. he does that thing where u can feel him looking at you waiting to turn around during the movie so he can kiss you. theres probably more. im very good at complaining.

🫛: he loves to think of new pet names for me to see how i will react. he’d be like. “goodnight honeypie” and id be like “oh…. yeah… 😽” he also likes them too but most of the time i just call him musham or guzma bc i like saying his name. then he’s like. Why dont you call me anything else…. (sad puppy eyes). he likes when i call him mumu or honey. i calll him princess sometimes but its rare. princess is like his top pet name for me. meeooww. sometimes i call him Boss. thats For when. Im teasing Him. That one Makes his Ears turn Red. For special Occasions. meow.

🫑: he’s had a number of near death experiences so he’s pretty afraid of death. he has no lofty life goals. he just wants his family safe. wants to travel too and have good genuine relationships.

🥑: not super niche but cosmetics and nail art. he also likes cooking and insects and drawing. just things he grew to like from being around his family. or trying to distract himself from his own issues.

🍠: he likes to go to the beach and sit listening to the waves (same). he also likes to paint his or others nails when he’s bored. “gimme yer hands i wanna try sumn”. yknow.

🍆: favorite scent is meeeeeee… i kid i kid. probably like. Ugh. baked goods. Sugar smell. Rain smell 👎🏾 i hate rain smell but he likes it. i don’t think he has any specific least favorite smells other than the usual like peepee and caca yknow.

🧄: allergic to beans

🥔: he makes japanese curry a lot. easy to make in large portions for his 75million children. i like rice so he usually makes rice dishes for me. i don’t cook very often but when i do its cultural foods since he doesn’t know those recipes. he likes those. yom. he wants to learn baking but just hasn’t had the chance or motivation.

🍄‍🟫: i think he would wanna be a mewtwo or something. super strong and cool nonchalant. if we’re talking irl mytho creatures, cerberus. that guy cool as shit. #swagger.

this took me three whole days to answer. enjoyable experience rlly made me think. sorry for any typos i used swipe typing for parts of this 😿.

@sylvie-wants-your-dogs hi : )

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

#😾🪲#🪲#interactive #loredomp

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meinii · 1 day ago

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“I missed you”

summary: work has been keeping you way too busy lately, so Sylus helps you catch a break

content: pure fluff♥︎

୨୧･｡｡･♡･∴･♡･｡｡･୨୧

the moment you stepped through the front door, the familiar scent hit you—a warm, rich blend of spices and something subtly sweet. it was unmistakable, carrying the deep comfort of home and something more.

your shoulders sagged as you exhaled, releasing the weight of exhaustion that had clung to you for days. work had been relentless, keeping you away longer than you’d wanted. you barely had time to eat, let alone rest, and the absence of Sylus had been a quiet ache beneath it all

but now, as you took in your surroundings, that ache eased.

the house was spotless. not a single speck of dust remained on the surfaces, and everything was neatly arranged, from the pillows on the couch to the books stacked perfectly on the shelves. a fresh bouquet of your favorite flowers sat on the dining table, their petals open and vibrant, filling the space with a delicate fragrance

and in the kitchen—

there he was.

Sylus stood at the stove, dressed in a black button-up, sleeves casually rolled to his elbows. his silver hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d been running his fingers through it, and his sharp crimson eyes flicked toward you the moment you stepped in

for a second, he just looked at you, taking you in. then, a slow, knowing smirk curved his lips

“took you long enough.”

warmth flooded through you, and you barely managed to slip off your shoes before making your way over to him. “Sylus…”

before you could say more, his arms were already around you, pulling you against his chest. the scent of him—faint smoke, something dark and rich—mixed with the warmth of his skin, and you melted into his embrace

“you’ve been busy,” he murmured against your hair, his voice lower now, softer “too busy.”

you sighed, fingers curling into his shirt “I know. I missed you.”

he huffed lightly, pulling back just enough to look at you “I had to remind myself you weren’t avoiding me on purpose”

a small laugh escaped you “and if I was?”

his smirk widened, his thumb brushing against your cheek “then I would’ve come and dragged you home myself”

your heart swelled at the possessiveness in his tone, but before you could say anything, the scent of food caught your attention again. you glanced past him at the dining table, already set with two plates of what you recognized as your favorite meal

“you cooked?” you asked, surprised

he scoffed, turning back to the stove to grab the last dish “what, you think I was going to let you come home and survive off instant meals?”

you grinned, leaning against the counter as you watched him “I didn’t know you were so domestic”

he glanced at you, amused “I wouldn’t say that. I just have high standards”

with that, he set the final dish down and pulled out a chair for you. you sat without hesitation, touched by the effort he’d put into making everything perfect.

as you both started eating, conversation flowed naturally, the exhaustion in your body slowly fading with each bite. he poured you a glass of wine, and you leaned back, savoring the warmth of it as you watched him across the table

“you’re staring” he pointed out

you smirked “I missed looking at you”

Sylus arched a brow, taking a slow sip of his own drink “flirting with me now?”

“maybe”

his lips twitched into a grin, but he didn’t tease further. Instead, he reached across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. you intertwined them easily, enjoying the quiet moment.

after dinner, the two of you moved to the couch, finishing your wine in comfortable silence. you leaned against him, tracing idle patterns on his hand as he held you close

“let’s change,” he murmured after a while “you need to relax properly”

you groaned but allowed him to pull you up. he handed you one of his shirts to wear, and when you returned from the bedroom, he had already changed into loose sweatpants, his usual sharp attire abandoned for something softer.

seeing him like this—comfortable, effortless—made something warm settle in your chest

“I’m doing your skincare” you announced

Sylus gave you a deadpan look “no.”

“yes.”

“no.”

you raised a brow

“you went through all this trouble for me. let me take care of you for once”

he stared at you for a long moment, then exhaled in defeat “fine.”

grinning, you guided him to sit in front of you while you grabbed your products.

you started gently, massaging the cleanser onto his skin, his usually sharp features momentarily softened beneath your touch

“this is ridiculous” he muttered, but he didn’t stop you

“shut up,” you said affectionately, patting his face with toner “you’ll thank me later”

he let out an exaggerated sigh but allowed you to finish.

by the time you applied the last product, his expression was unreadable, but his eyes lingered on you, studying you closely

before you could ask what he was thinking, he reached behind you, gathering your hair and tying it back with an ease that surprised you.

your breath hitched slightly “when did you learn to do that?”

he shrugged “watched you do it enough times”

something in your chest clenched at that.

he noticed the little things, always had.

once you were both settled into bed, you curled against him, feeling his warmth seep into you as he pulled you closer. his fingers traced idle patterns along your arm, his breath steady against your hair

“you should sleep” he murmured

you hummed, already halfway there “stay here when I wake up?”

a soft chuckle rumbled in his chest “I’m not going anywhere”

a pause

then, quieter, “I missed you, too.”

smiling against his skin, you let sleep take you, safe in the arms of the man who had made coming home feel like something worth looking forward to.

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suiana · 17 hours ago

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thinking of a guilt ridden reader and a silly manipulative yandere who looks exactly like someone from reader's past.

maybe you did something bad to a friend, perhaps ended a relationship on bad terms with someone who never deserved to be treated badly. whatever it is, just the mere thought of that person causes you to physically curl up and pray for forgiveness.

so you spend the rest of your days like a dead man walking, the guilt of your actions clawing at the depths of your heart. it makes it hard to do anything, let alone think. because when you are left alone with your thoughts, all you can imagine is their expression when everything went wrong. oh how you'd give up anything just to change the past and your actions.

as if your guilt wasn't enough, he just had to skip into your life looking exactly like that person. like them.

at first, you thought of this as a curse. this... this stupid guy? looking exactly like them? then as you sort of warmed up to him, you still think it's a curse. because what gave him the audacity to come into your life, looking like them, and telling you how much he wants you? especially claiming that it was love at first sight and that you two were fated to be?

"i love you."

"can i be yours?"

"we'd be so good together."

you keep pushing him away. you know how this will end up, with you messing up just like last time. wouldn't it be better to just keep him at a distance? unfortunately for you he doesn't seem to think so. and it's like a curse. a demon from your past coming back to haunt you in the form of your greatest mistake.

if anything, your costant rejections only seem to keep him wanting... more?

"please, just one chance. that is all I'm asking for."

"no? you don't want to entertain me even the slightest bit?"

"how cruel, i never realised you were this heartless."

you eventually end up giving in. he just has that sort of effect you suppose. or maybe it's the guilt that's constantly eating you alive that's causing you to make this decision. after all, he looks so much like them and... you don't know what you'd do if he looked at you like that. not ever, not again. maybe this would be your way of making up for your wrong doings.

he couldn't be happier obviously. finally! the person he's been pining over finally accepted his confession! even if it took a long time, it all worked out. you're happy, his happy, everyone's happy!

until he found out you're not actually happy and you're just doing this because you feel guilty.

"what do you mean? am i just a replacement to you? a way to correct your mistakes?"

"hah! you're so- ugh, I don't even want to think about you anymore."

"save it, those are just excuses."

he's always been a manipulative person. he knows. and he knows that you know it too. yet he continues to manipulate you through it all. i mean, it's your fault for even treating him like a second option in the first place! what? he's the one that's been pestering you? no no, you could've just rejected him. it's not his fault, it's yours. you're not stopping him anyway so like, you're basically admitting you're in the wrong.

"yeah you should be sorry. how mean do you have to be to think of me just as someone you've hurt? I'm my own person too."

he says that but continues to use the fact that his familiarity elicits something in you. and he'll continue abusing it, continue taking advantage of your weakened state. why? because he can and because he wants to.

plus, it's amusing in it's own right to see you bending head over heels just to appease him. huh, guess the guilt runs deep, doesn't it?

oh it's whatever. he'll slowly condition you to start showing him the affection he so desperately craves anyway. he just needs to hold on a little longer. break you down a tiny bit more and then you'll be all his. he can feel it.

you two will be truly happy together. no other people, no guilt in your heart. just you and him, alone and content with one another.

that would simply be salvation, wouldn't it?

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere drabbles #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere concepts #manipulative yandere #manipulative yandere x reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

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rats-secret-stash · 3 days ago

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Welcome to my BG3 (male romanceable companions focused) ANTI-SIX-PACK RANT /HEADCANONS

[Warning - bad English and possibly incorrect interpretations of characters] [It’s just my headcanons, based purely on vibes. I also want to make it clear that I enjoy and respect various other hcs and portrayals of these characters (and i’ll probably draw them in various ways too). Do not fight me, i’ll cry lol]

WYLL

I’m a firm believer in Wyll being the only male companion with a (fairly) well-defined six-pack

He spent years training and he’s a son of a Grand Duke – so he probably ate well and learnt how to take care of his body properly

I also think he cares about the way he looks (/he’s aware how it can affect the way people perceive him) – so his muscles would be formed partially by practical use (fighting, training) and partially by some conscious muscle-building exercises. In other words, he’s the only male companion I can imagine doing planks and sit-ups in front of his tent lol

However, when I say “well-defined” abs, I mean a nice healthy balance between muscle and fat. None of that dehydrated “flexing 24/7” bullshit

ASTARION

I’m not sure if vampires sustain the body they had before being turned, and i kinda like this idea bc it could explain why Astarion looks like he’s in a good shape when we meet him in Act 1

However, my hc is that his body changes and gets healthier as the game progresses

In Act 1, he should be really thin. And I mean sickly thin. He was starved and tortured for centuries, and I can’t imagine him doing sit-ups in the kennels and working on a six-pack while barely surviving all the physical and psychological torture

After being tadpoled, he finally gets some freedom and is able to eat regularly (especially if Tav/Durge lets him feed on them, which is especially important in Act 2 where there aren’t many animals or alive enemies that he could feed on) – Astarion would get healthier and finally gain some weight

But still, I can’t imagine him doing core workouts in front of his tent. Let my boy rest.

He’s got some muscles (with emphasis on “some” bc that 8 in strength is.. you know), he builds them while doing all that rogue sneaking and killing – but overall he stays slim

Slim BUT (and i’ll die on this hill) he gains some softness. He finally gets that extra roll of fat on his stomach, a little bit of body getting squished by the waistband of his pants. He’s finally healthy and healing

Now we’re getting to the part where I start to scream at Larian for the crime of giving these men six-packs

HALSIN

What do you mean – we get a BIG elf, BIGGER than average elf should be, a man who resembles a BEAR, a man who often QUITE LITERALLY IS A BEAR(animal) – AND YOU DON’T MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A BEAR(man)??? WHAT DO YOU MEANN??

Putting a high-definition six-pack on this man is a crime.

He should look like a bear, like the hammer-throwing athletes, like Thor in God of War, like a man who can lift a whole ass log while helping build a new shelter for his community. I need him strong. I need him big. I need him huggable. I need him to look like he would survive the winter

He should have strong arms (let’s ignore the fact that he has 10 in strength and that even Shadowheart is stronger than him)

He has muscles, build by physical work and for practical purposes – but they’re hidden under a healthy amount of fat

This man is not hitting the gym to form a six-pack. He’s got shit to do, place to be and people and nature to guide and protect

But, he wouldn’t overindulge in food – he believes in balance and all that, and I think he might view overeating as a waste

But still, the fat is there bc.. bc it just is, let him eat dammit

GALE

Larian when I catch you. Larian you cowards.

Why does his 8-strength ass have a six-pack. For why. What was the reasonn??

He doesn’t even have to move a finger to do anything, he can magic everything. Fighting? Magic. Having to move the couch in his room? Magic. Telekinesis probably.

This man doesn’t need a six-pack and you can’t tell me he was doing core workouts in his wizard tower – he’s been too busy reading and researching and mastering his spells and romancing a goddess (COUGH or rather being groomed cuz that power imbalance is nasty COUGH)

Also, he mentions food a couple of times, doesn’t he? He can cook, he likes to eat – that’s canon bc i said so. He looks like he enjoys his dessert after dinner. AND HE CAN AFFORD IT. If he can afford all those books, he can afford some snacks too

That being said, if we were allowed to have a fat romanceable man, it would be Gale. He doesn’t need to be slim, he doesn’t need to be ripped. There is nothing in his lore that would justify that (imo) – let his stomach be soft, amen.

(However, I also kinda like the idea of Gale using some sort of illusion spell and that his six-pack is magical lol. Imagine, the rest of the party finding out that this whole time he’s been wasting a spell slot and his concentration ON A SIX-PACK SPELL)

FEMALE ROMANCEABLE CHARACTERS

When it comes to the girls, I can see all of them having well defined muscles and six-packs – they’re all physically strong (or at least stronger than the guys) and they all have a history with fighting/training

I can also see them without six-packs – especially Shadowheart and Karlach (a bit more on it below)

LAE’ZEL – has the least body fat. I think her muscles should be the most visible. This is the only character who is allowed to have dehydrated muscles, and that's purely because of the way githyanki look

KARLACH – probably didn’t have a chance to rest and eat properly while in Avernus and then while being on the run. I think she could (similarly to Astarion) gain some weight throughout the game – she would finally have a chance to rest, eat and heal a bit. Also, she enjoys a nice meal and some beer

MINTHARA – I have to admit that I don’t know much about her. But she gives me the vibes of someone who likes a routine and takes their physical appearance very seriously (in a military-way, not fashion-way). I can see her building her muscles through fighting but also through purposeful exercises intended to keep her body lean and well built.

SHADOWHEART – she could have a six-pack, I’m down with this hc BUT. I can also see her having more curves and softness. Yes, she had to go through training – but she also can use spells in fights… so it should be fine for her to be softer

In conclusion – let them eat, let them be hydrated, let them look like people and not marvel superheroes

Doodle of Astarion going from starved and newly freed to eating better and getting chubbier

Controversial, but i'm six-pack hater. Out of romanceable male companions only Wyll should be allowed to have defined abs. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#bg3 #bg3 rant

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meadowfics · 1 day ago

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blood on your hands

kang dae ho x f!reader

in which you commit an act so unforgivable, yet reasonable

warnings: murder, death, nsfw!! 18+, minors please dni. smut with plot. oral (dh receiving). switch!daeho. switch!reader. praise. no PinV. VERY long chapter. dark chapter. original plot changes. y/n is used. reader is player 099. reader is the murderer. established relationship with dae-ho before the games. this takes place after the mingle games. the original character in this fic is player 123. I am not responsible for the content you choose to read after you hit, "keep reading"

4.6k words

the bathroom is a mess of bodies and tension.

the air thick with sweat, fear, disgusting body waste, and the sharp buzz of the overhead fluorescent lights. the guards stand at the entrance, their rifles slung carelessly over their shoulders, barely paying attention.

they know no one is dumb enough to try anything here, not after the mingle game.

a game in which you barely survived too.

anyways, you should be focusing on keeping jun-hee safe, making sure she gets in and out of here without trouble, but your mind keeps circling back to dae-ho.

your man.

the love of your life.

the marine’s voice is still fresh in your ears.

"stay safe, no heroics."

all of the women were assigned to all go to the bathroom before lights out. you had smiled at him, something small, something just for him.

"i’ll be okay,"

you had promised, squeezing his hand.

"i'll stay with jun-hee the whole time."

he hadn't liked it. you could tell by the way his jaw clenched, by the flicker of hesitation in his eyes, like he wanted to argue but knew it would only make things harder. he is super protective about you, even before the games back at home.

in the end, he let you go, but not before tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering like he was trying to memorize you.

"come back to me."

you had nodded. you always would.

the two of you had been together for years. your relationship wasn’t new, wasn’t fragile. it was something built, something strong, something that had withstood everything life had thrown at you before the games.

this?

this was different.

this was a nightmare neither of you had ever prepared for.

when you first locked eyes after red light, green light, it felt like the world had cracked open. neither of you had known the other would be here.

neither of you had imagined, in your worst nightmares, that this was how you’d meet again after not seeing each other for days.

after meeting the salesman, the both of you had a plan to pay off each other's debts. unaware that the other had the same exact plan too.

the first game, dae-ho had stormed across the bloodstained ground, past the trembling bodies of the survivors, past the bodies that would never move again, and grabbed you like you were slipping through his fingers.

“why are you here?"

his voice had been raw, panicked.

"how…why…"

"why are you here?"

you had shot back, just as desperate, just as lost.

you both had kept your struggles quieter than you should have, thinking you could handle them alone. thinking you didn’t have to drag each other down.

it didn’t matter now.

now, all that mattered was surviving. together.

which was what led you here…standing in a sea of exhausted, wary women, pushing into the bathroom with jun-hee behind you and hyun-ju in front, keeping them close, like a shield.

you aren’t the only one on edge. hyun-ju’s beautiful eyes are scanning, assessing. she turns around and catches the way your fingers twitch at your sides, the way your shoulders stay stiff.

"you okay?" her voice is low, careful.

you force a small nod.

"just need to pee badly."

it’s a lie.

hyun-ju knows. she reads people too well…probably from whatever special forces training she’s had.

she doesn’t press, just gives you a look before shifting her attention elsewhere.

it’s not the bathroom that has you tense.

it’s her.

player 123.

she’s already ahead, pushing through the group like she owns the place along with her goon’s, loud and grating. she hasn’t stopped talking since mingle. hasn’t stopped running her mouth.

"you see that one triangle guard earlier?"

she crows to no one in particular, shoving her elbow into the woman next to her.

"dude was practically asleep. i bet i could’ve grabbed his gun…boom, game over."

the woman beside her gives a nervous laugh, stepping away. no one outside of her dickriding goons wants to be near her…she’s too reckless, too unpredictable.

your fingers curl into a fist at your side.

you don’t trust her. not after what happened in the six-legged penalathon.

you and player 123 had almost killed each other.

it had been an accident, but that didn’t matter. the two of you had made a mistake, a single misstep, a moment of hesitation that had nearly sent both of you crashing to your deaths. and she blamed you.

the audacity.

when jun-hee came to your group, asking to join. you gave up your spot for the woman. dae-ho protested, but you told him that the pregnant woman needs to live, so being with men will help her.

dae-ho intensely watched you as you approached 123 and her group of 4. player 123 said you could join, since she needed another woman who looked, “as fit as you.”

however, that was a mistake.. since you both nearly tripped when you were running to the finish line.

since then, she hated you..

you weren’t exactly fond of her either.

you keep jun-hee behind you as the crowd shifts into the cramped bathroom. it’s a tight space, bodies pressing in on all sides. no privacy, no safety.

you aren’t the only one feeling it…jun-hee shifts uncomfortably, pressing a protective hand over her stomach. you glance at her, lowering your voice.

"we’ll be quick. i won’t let anything happen."

she nods, trusting.

too trusting.

you can feel player 123's presence, her laughter cutting through the thick air like a blade. she’s talking again, louder now, complaining about everything.

"this is ridiculous," she groans, kicking the bottom of a stall.

"they’re treating us like animals. like we’re not even people."

you bite back the urge to snap. ��

because that’s the thing...she’s not wrong.

that doesn’t make you hate her any less.

hyun-ju watches you carefully from the side, tracking the way your body tenses, the way your fingers tap against your leg like you’re holding yourself back from something.

"she’s not worth it," hyun-ju mutters under her breath.

you exhale sharply, steadying yourself.

"i know."

that doesn’t stop you from keeping an eye on player 123. doesn’t stop the weight of her presence from pressing into you.

because in a place like this, grudges can get you killed.

the guards stand lazily outside of the entrance, their rifles hanging at their sides, not paying attention.

they don’t care about the many players inside one hot room.

but you do.

you keep jun-hee close, guiding her toward the stalls. she looks miserable, her hand resting over the curve of her belly, shoulders tight with exhaustion.

"y/n, i just need to sit for a second."

jun-hee pulls you towards the first stall.

she goes into one of the stalls, locking it behind her, and you let out a slow breath. your heart is still racing. not because of the guards, not because of the way the other women keep their eyes peeled for weakness…but because of player 123.

you hear her voice somewhere off to the side, barking out a laugh, too loud, too confident.

"these stalls are disgusting, i swear to god. like what do they want us to do? piss outside?"

she’s talking to no one in particular, but the woman next to her lets out a forced chuckle, clearly too nervous to ignore her.

“she is so fucking annoying!”

you think.

your jaw clenches, fingers twitching at your side.

you don’t trust her. you never have.

so when jun-hee comes out of her stall, you decide to go in after her. not because you need to pee, but because you don’t want to have to go later, when things could be worse.

“i’ll be quick," you murmur, passing by hyun-ju, who is by the sinks, watching everything like a hawk.

"stay alert," she tells you.

you nod, stepping inside the stall, locking it behind you.

you sit, but your mind is elsewhere, lost in the horrors of the game.

everything blurs together…the blood, the screams, the crack of bones snapping under pressure. you squeeze your eyes shut, pressing your palms into your thighs, trying to push the thoughts away, trying to remind yourself that you're still here. still breathing. still alive.

BANG.

your entire body jolts at the sudden impact against the stall door.

"can you hurry the fuck up?"

that voice.

your blood runs cold.

player 123.

you don’t say anything, don’t react, hoping she’ll just move on, but then

she crawls under the stall.

your breath catches in your throat, horror spiking through your veins as her hands and knees scrape against the filthy tile, her face appearing under the gap before she pulls herself inside, into your space.

"are you fucking stupid?"

you snap, scrambling to pull your joggers up as you stagger to your feet.

she just laughs.

loud, grating, obnoxious.

"oh? oh, look at that." she grins, rocking back on her heels.

"it’s the stupid bitch who almost got us killed!"

your fists clench.

"get the fuck out,"

you hiss, pushing past her to unlock the door.

she follows you.

you storm toward the sinks, your entire body thrumming with rage. she’s right on your heels, her voice sharp and mocking as she keeps egging you on.

"what’s wrong, 099? mad i called you out? mad that you’re such a weak bitch who made it this far? "

you ignore her, stepping toward the sinks where hyun-ju and jun-hee are.

she doesn’t stop.

"you think you’re some big hero? sticking with your little group like you’re different from the rest of us? newsflash, sweetheart…nobody here is safe."

your hands shake. you grip the edge of the sink, trying to steady yourself.

then she says it.

"you know... i started to notice how close you and player 388 are. are you guys together?"

123’s tone shifts, turning cruel, taunting.

you stare at her through the mirror, hoping she shuts the fuck up.

"wait, awee you guys are together! you know.. he’s such a charm. i cannot wait to steal him when you die during the next game!"

that’s it.

before you can even think, your body moves on its own.

you turn, your fist flying through the air, and the impact is satisfying to your mind and knuckles.

CRACK.

your knuckles collide with her face, sending her stumbling backward, her body hitting the ground with a hard thud.

someone gasps.

her goons rush forward, helping her up.

hyun-ju steps toward you, eyes sharp, but before she can say anything—

all hell breaks loose.

somewhere in the room, another fight erupts.

two randome women claw at each other, snarling like wild animals, hair being pulled, screams echoing off the tile.

and then, like a chain reaction, everyone starts fighting.

jun-hee stumbles back against the wall, hiding, pressing her hands over her stomach, panic flashing across her face. she knows she doesn’t stand a chance in this chaos.

hyun-ju moves quickly, diving into the mess, trying to break up fights before they get worse.

you…you don’t get the chance.

because player 123 tackles you.

you slam into the sink counter, pain exploding through your ribs.

"you wanna fucking hit me, huh?"

she seethes, grabbing onto your shirt.

"you bitch! you think you’re tough?"

you fight back, gripping her by the shoulders, trying to throw her off. but she’s strong, fueled by anger, by adrenaline.

you both go crashing to the ground.

she’s on top of you, fists flying.

one punch.

two.

three.

your face is bruised, bloodied.

your vision goes blurry, the taste of iron thick in your mouth as blood pools around your molar teeth.

you gasp, hands scrambling for anything.

you grip 123’s neck, trying to choke her, trying to stop her punches, but she just snarls, yanking at your hair, slamming your head back against the tile.

someone—se-mi—tries to pull her off.

but it’s not working.

you’re losing.

then

something presses against your thigh.

your metal fork.

the one from earlier’s meal. the one you saved, just in case something like this happened

your fingers close around it inside of your pocket.

without thinking..without hesitating..

you move your right hand quickly and plunge it into her neck.

she freezes.

123’s brown eyes go wide.

her hands, her fists, stop.

she limps, her body crumbling.

however, that was not enough.

something inside you snaps.

you stab.

again.

over and over and over until..

"STOP!"

arms pull you back… hyun-ju.

your breath is ragged, your chest heaving.

player 123 is dead.

her body is still.

her blood is everywhere.

you don’t realize what you’ve done…not really…until hyun-ju drags you into the hallway, pushing you against the wall beside a guard.

you’re hyperventilating. those pink lungs of yours cannot seem to catch a breath.

hyun-ju doesn’t yell at you. doesn’t scold you for murder since that would be hypocritical of her. she just takes the bloody fork from your hands, wipes at the blood on your face…though your 099 shirt is already soaked in red.

"breathe," she orders.

you can’t.

"what did i do?"

jun-hee stands nearby, eyes wide, face pale.

she looks at you, then at the bodies inside.

"nothing. since nothing will be mentioned to the others,"

she says quietly.

you nod.

silent.

back to the dorms.. you can barely walk.

your legs feel like they don’t belong to you, and the weight of what you just did claws at your chest, sinking deep into your ribs, making it hard to breathe.

hyun-ju keeps her arm wrapped tightly around you, holding you up, making sure you don’t collapse under your own exhaustion. your shirt is soaked in blood..

some yours, most of it hers.

player 123 is dead.

you did that.

you killed her.

yet, in this moment, all you can focus on is putting one foot in front of the other as you and the remaining women shuffle back into the dorms.

the second the doors open, the tension inside the dorm shifts.

the men had heard everything.

the screams.

the fighting.

the pounding of bodies slamming against the walls, the stalls, the sinks.

the killings.

it was a nightmare.

and dae-ho almost ran after you.

he had almost lost his mind when the first screams from multiple women echoed through the halls, his entire body lurching forward, ready to run, to fight, to protect you, before jung bae grabbed him.

"don’t." jung bae had hissed, forcing him to stay put.

"we don’t know what’s happening yet."

"it’s a fucking massacre, that’s what," young-il had muttered under his breath, his face pale as they all listened.

dae-ho couldn’t stay calm.

he was barely breathing, his hands clenching and unclenching, his mind running a thousand miles a minute.

you had told him you’d be okay.

you had promised.

but then why did the screaming keep going?

why did it sound like hell itself had broken loose in there?

at one point, it sounded like you were screaming.

it was, it was when you were repeatedly stabbing 123 over and over again.

back in the dorms, dae-ho kept trying to reason with himself.

you don’t start fights.

you aren’t reckless.

then he remembered the way you and 123 had argued after your group barely survived the six-legged penalathon…by four fucking seconds.

he remembered 123 cursing you out, yelling about how you should’ve died instead of her almost falling.

he remembered the way you just flicked her off, walking away.

she was a loose cannon.

123 was like thanos and namgyu smashed into one woman.

what if—

the doors open.

the women return.

and it’s worse than he imagined.

the ones who come back look horrible.

some are bloody. some have fresh bruises. some have torn shirts, missing shoes, swollen faces.

but not as many women return as there were when they left.

dae-ho’s stomach drops.

he scans the group frantically.

the marine’s heart hammers.

his eyes land on hyun-ju and jun-hee first…both fine, exhausted but fine.

then he sees you and his blood runs cold.

his baby. his love.

you look destroyed. your face is bloodied. your right eye is swollen. there’s a deep cut above your eyebrow, blood trailing down your cheek, dripping onto your already soaked shirt.

your lips are busted.

your knuckles are bruised and your hands are shaking.

"what the fuck happened?"

dae-ho’s voice is sharp, broken.

hyun-ju doesn’t answer right away.

instead, she tightens her grip on you, like she’s trying to shield you from his panic.

it’s too late.

he pushes forward, prying you out of hyun-ju’s arms, cradling you in his own.

his hands hover over your face, your wounds, your bruises, like he doesn’t know where to touch, where to fix, where to start.

"baby, oh my god, what did they do to you?" his voice breaks.

he lifts you into his arms, carrying you straight to his bed, settling you down gently, as if you might shatter if he moves too fast.

you don’t say anything.

you can’t.

because if you open your mouth, if you speak,you might just say what you did.

so instead, you stare at the ceiling, your breath shallow, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you.

hyun-ju and jun-hee exchange a look.

they don’t tell him.

they don’t say what really happened.

that is your place, not theirs.

they don’t tell him that you killed player 123 in a fit of survival and rage, stabbing her over and over again until her body was lifeless.

instead, hyun-ju lies.

"a fight broke out. everyone was attacking each other."

dae-ho’s jaw tightens, his eyes flicking over every bruise, every wound, every drop of blood.

"and she was attacked?"

jun-hee nods.

"we barely made it out."

dae-ho exhales sharply, his hands trembling as he tears a piece of his 388 shirt, dipping it into some cup of water (belonging to gi-hun) before gently pressing it against your wounds.

"fuck, i should’ve been there," he mutters.

"i should’ve protected you."

you swallow.

dae-ho’s words make your chest ache in a way you can’t explain.

he doesn’t know.

he doesn’t know what you did.

he doesn’t know that you aren’t just hurt.

you are a killer now.

across the room, young-il/001/the frontman undercover watches you carefully as he sits beside a worried gi-hun and jung-bae.

his eyes linger.

he knows.

he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make a scene, but you catch the way he scans the room, the way he takes note of who came back..and who didn’t.

123 isn’t here

he knows.

you don’t look at dae-ho.

you can’t

because then you’d have to acknowledge it. and right now, you just want to pretend.

pretend you didn’t just take a life.

pretend you’re still you.

the speaker comes on and the room freezes as everyone listens. suddenly, the names of the eliminated players in the women’s bathroom echo through the dorms.

"player 037. eliminated."

"player 272. eliminated."

"player 081. eliminated."

"player 410. eliminated."

"player 008. eliminated."

"player 072. eliminated."

and then..

"player 123. eliminated."

the second her number is called, the room shifts in your perspective.

your stomach twists.

dae-ho’s eyes snap to you.

then to hyun-ju.

hyun-ju turns away.

you tense.

but he doesn’t know.

not yet. not yet.

because lights out is coming.

during lights out, you wake up to dae-ho who is looking up at the ceiling. the ceiling where the gold pig sits with all of the money. the money from the dead players.

“baby, is everything alright?”

you ask lightly, putting your hand on his upper thigh as he looks over at you.

the man smiles lightly, brushing a piece of hair off of your forehead as you close your eyes.. taking in his touch.

“i should be asking you that.”

dae-ho responds.

of course you are still thinking about the murder you committed. however, you know that there will not be any legal consequences. the guards and this whole game is illegal itself!

however, you wonder how dae-ho will look at you.

he used to talk to you about a murder that he committed while he was in the marines. the one thing that started his PTSD while serving. however, he was forced to do that.

you were not forced.

well, that is debatable.

since you were acting in self-defense.

you brought your sore lips over dae-ho’s and started kissing him soflty, moving his hands to your ass while you sat your clothed core on top of his bulge.

“y/n.”

he groans through your lips.

“hm.”

you smirk.

“is this alright? i don’t want you to feel uncom–”

“we need a distraction, dae-ho.”

two minutes later, your lips around around his fat tip. the marine’s head laid back against the hard wall, his pants pulled down to his ankles as you took his whole length inside of your throat.

you were distracting yourself. your focus is fully on your lover’s scent, his big dick in your throat, your hands massaging his balls, and the way your lashes batted up at his eyes while you sucked his dick.

this is the only way you can distract yourself from earlier. the murder. the murder you commited.

dae-ho wrapped your hair in a ponytail with his hands while you continued to do your work. you concentrated your tongue on a particular vein on his shaft while arching your back in the process.

"fuck, you're sucking me off so perfectly."

your boyfriend of five years reaches over to massage your clothed ass, groaning softly as you deepthroated his cock.

obviously, sucking his cock during lights out, where a player can easily see you, was not ideal for most people. however, you refused to pull dae-ho into a bathroom and do it. not where you killed 123.

dae-ho’s cock twitched inside of your throat and you hummed, feeling his white load spill inside of your mouth and throat.

the man puts a pillow over his head, so the pillow can block out his loud pornographic moan he spoke out.

you were always so good at sucking his dick, oh how much he missed it while the games were happening.

you helped your boyfriend pull his boxers and pants back on. the man flipped you over and kissed all over your neck, but you cringed.

not because of dae-ho, not at all. you were so desperate for his tongue on your clit but somehow.. you started smelling the metallic blood from earlier.

123’s blood.

tears fill your eyes almost immediately.

when dae-ho realized that you were crying out of fear instead of pleasure, he stopped instantly. he pulled you into his arms as you stained his shirt with your tears.

you started to hyperventilate again.

dae-ho keeps you in his arms, but pulls your head off of his chest in order to help yourself breathe.

“baby, please breathe.”

dae-ho panics, nearly having tears in his eyes too.

“dae-ho, i-i-ca-can’t. i’m ah-a monster.”

you coughed out.

dae-ho frowns.

“no you’re not!”

he mumbles confidently, truthfully.

“you’re my angel.”

you cry more, shaking your head with a frown.

“angels don't kill people, dae-ho.”

you sob, wiping your nose with your blood stained jacket.

“what?”

dae-ho’s eyes widened.

“sh-sh-she was so close to killing me i-in there!”

you start shaking, dae-ho holds your hands as you try to recall the memory.

your lips turn pale. dae-ho holds the back of your head with his large hands as more tears fall down your face.

“dae-ho, i killed 123!!! the fork i-i ha-had when we ate the bibimbap to-together! she almost beat me to death so i stabbed her.”

your hands started shaking to the point where dae-ho had to hold them.

not only was the memory so traumatic, but you were started to think that dae-ho would leave you.

scared that he would not want someone who is a murderer.

dae-ho’s eyes are widened, he cannot say anything.

“puh-pl-please say something! i swear it was in self-defense!! she did this to me-”

you pointed at the bruises and cuts on your face.

“i-i couldn’t breathe before i felt the fork in my pocket. i had to, i am so sorry! please forgive me for being a monster!”

you forced your hands out of dae-ho’s and covered your face, ashamed of yourself.

dae-ho is everything good in this world. even here, in this twisted, merciless game, he treats you like you’re made of glass…like you’re still the same person he fell in love with before all of this.

you’re scared.. now you believe that he knows that the girl he’s holding, the girl he’s protecting so fiercely, is not the girl he fell in love with.

you’re a monster. a murderer.

the blood on your hands isn’t just yours…it’s 123s.

dae-ho holds you again.. and doesn’t let go of you. not even for a second.

the marine’s arms stay firmly around you, grounding you as your entire body shakes, as your chest heaves, struggling to pull in air. your lungs burn, your throat closes, and your vision blurs with the overwhelming flood of emotions crashing down on you all at once.

you can’t stop crying.

you can’t stop the guilt, the fear, the shame from clawing at your insides, making you feel like you’re being ripped apart from the inside out.

"i'm a monster,"

you choke out between uneven breaths.

"i don’t deserve you, dae-ho. i don’t.."

"stop."

dae-ho’s voice is gentle, but firm. the man’s hands cup your face, thumbs wiping away the hot tears streaming down your cheeks, even though they just keep coming.

"baby, listen to me. i understand."

dae-ho’s voice is steady, warm, full of something so deep and unwavering.. it only makes you cry harder.

"i know. it was self-defense."

you shake your head, gripping onto his wrists like he’s the only thing keeping you from falling apart completely in this hellhole.

"but i still did it," you whisper, voice breaking.

"i still killed her."

dae-ho doesn’t flinch.

his grip doesn’t loosen.

his expression doesn’t change.

"and it would have been you killed if you hadn’t."

his words hit hard, slicing through the noise in your head.

you inhale sharply, shuddering.

"this game… it’s bringing out the worst in all of us." his voice softens, his forehead pressing against yours.

"this isn’t your fault, baby. you were protecting yourself."

you sob, shaking your head violently.

"no–"

"yes." he pulls back just enough to look at you, really look at you, his dark eyes full of nothing but love.

"you’re not a monster. you’re still my girl… my angel."

dae-ho’svoice breaks on those last words, but he keeps going.

he wants to cry with you.

"when we get out of here, i’ll get us help." he promises.

"therapy, whatever you need, i’ll be right there with you. we’ll get through this. together."

your face crumples, your hands tightening in the fabric of his 388 shirt.

"how can you still love me after this?"

dae-ho lets out a soft, shaky breath, like he can’t believe you’d even ask that.

"how can i not? you’re the love of my life. bad or good."

your chest shakes as another sob wracks through you, but this time, it’s different.

it’s not just grief, it’s relief.

because he’s not leaving.

he’s not disgusted.

he’s not giving up on you.

"i’m not mad, baby. i’m not mad at you." his lips press against your temple, lingering.

"and we’re okay. i’m still with you. i’m still going to protect you."

"we’re okay?" you whisper, almost afraid to believe it.

he nods, pulling you closer, holding you like he never wants to let go.

"we’re okay."

masterlist

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sunsherbet · 2 days ago

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Car Kisses

In which you finally kiss your outrageously adorable best friend.

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

CW: brief mentions of food, unedited

The high-top table was cluttered with empty appetizer dishes and half-drunk iced teas. You and Spencer had been here for an hour or two, working through as many small plates as you could manage.

It had been nearly two months since you’d seen him. He'd been buried in back-to-back cases, and you hadn’t had the chance to sit together like this in forever. Now, as the moon started to rise, you felt blissfully content. Your stomach was pleasantly full, and your cheeks ached from how hard and often you’d been laughing all night.

“Do you want a ride home?” Spencer asks as he places his card on the tab.

“First you pay for dinner now you offer me a ride? Careful Spence, I’m gonna start thinking you’re trying to proposition me.” You laugh, taking his offered hand to hop off the bar stool.

“If a man ever tries to proposition you with the bare minimum give him my number.” Spencer glances at your entwined hands curiously but doesn’t brooch the subject. You know you should drop it but when you laxen your grip he tightens his.

You grin teasingly, “Ah and you’ll handle it will you?”

“What’s with the face! I’m an FBI agent!” Spencer makes an indignant noise.

“Mhm and what exactly will you do, Doctor? Give him a strongly worded talk about the probability of them getting a second date?”

He pushes the door to the bar open and leads you out into the winter air. “Or maybe I’ll let them know that I possess an... extensive understanding of how to get away with murder.”

The wind whips across your face, and you raise your free hand to shield your eyes from its biting sting. Spencer quickens his pace so that his body blocks the wind, his hand reaching back to keep yours gently entwined.

“They will laugh in your face Spencer, you’re the least intimidating person I’ve ever met!” You call out over the whipping wind.

He clicks the car to life and you see the red lights shine through the foggy night. You sigh in relief as the warm vehicle gets closer and closer to view.

Spencer opens the passenger door and you shove your skirt inside the door before he gently closes it. Damn was it too cold to have a skirt on right now.

He slides into the driver seat and turns your face to his, seemingly set on finishing your conversation, “For you, I can be anything.”

You try to stammer out a response but all you can manage is a weak nod.

Spencer holds your gaze for a moment longer, and you take in the sight of your incredibly attractive best friend. His hair has grown since you last saw him, soft curls now resting around his ears. His face is a mix of sharp and soft features, with high cheekbones and a gentle jawline. His amber eyes, framed by long dark lashes, draw you in.

“Damn it’s cold.” He blows into his hands before flicking the seat heaters on.

Maybe it's the way his slightly-chapped lips form an 'O,' such a subtle gesture yet it sends a spark through you, making your thighs involuntarily clench. Or perhaps it’s the slow, undeniable burn you've felt for your best friend over the past few months, a longing that’s been quietly building until now, finally taking hold of you in a way you can no longer ignore. You grab the hand that was previously in yours and pull him over the console and into your lips.

He rears back slightly in shock, lips parted and eyes wild and searching yours for the reason for such a change in behavior.

You’d give him an answer if you had one yourself. You don’t, though, so you tug on his collar once more in response. Spencer meets your gaze with a curious look, but then something shifts in his eyes—something deeper, something more intense. Suddenly, his hand gently cups your jaw and he pulls you closer, melding his lips with yours in a kiss that feels both familiar and new.

The kiss is slow at first, tentative, as if neither of you quite knows where to go from here, but the warmth of his lips against yours sparks something inside you. His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, coaxing you into the moment, urging you to let go of everything else. You can feel the pulse of his heartbeat against your chest, steady and sure, and for a moment, it's just the two of you—no questions, no doubts—only the soft pressure of his lips and the quiet electricity building between you.

Spencer smiles against your lips and suddenly you actually believe that he could be anything you need him to.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #aesthetic #moodboard #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #agent spencer reid #doctor spencer reid

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monstersflashlight · 2 days ago

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A/N: Hi there! For those who don’t know, first part is here. (If that link doesn't work, try suscribing for free to Patreon and check this one) Enjoy! REPOSTED

Orc professor (part 2): late for class

Orc x chubby fem!reader || power dynamics, dom/sub undertones, exhibitionism (kinda), oral sex, size kink, age gap, degradation, praise kink

“If you want to show me your pussy, my cum better be leaking out of it. Do you understand?”

His words still echoed in your brain when you were getting dressed the next morning. You were already wet, and you fingered yourself to the memory of his dick in your pussy last evening. You were a bit sore, but the fact that you could still feel him made everything more intense, hotter… sexier. And it made everything so much better.

You decided to wear your pencil skirt this time, and blame it on your bad luck, but you spilled your coffee all over it. Cursing yourself, you changed as fast as possible, but not fast enough that you could get to class early as you knew you should.

By the time you arrived, he was writing something on the board. “Good morning, sir,” you enunciated very slowly, looking at him for directions as you saw the other few students entering behind you.

He turned around and stared at you with such intensity you felt your whole body react. You were almost panting, biting your lip not to groan out loud. “Good morning. You can sit down while I go to my office for a second.”

The other two students nodded and he passed you on his way to the door. He looked at you in such a way that you knew what you had to do without him having to say anything. You let your stuff on your usual seat and smiled at the girl who sat next to you, mumbling about going to get some coffee before class. She nodded with a smile and you had to stop yourself from running to his office.

You arrived just in time for him to pull you inside by the waist, pressing you against the door and kissing you senseless just like he did yesterday, his tusks feeling incredible against your jaw. His hands were traveling up and down your body, groping your ass and your thighs as he grunted against your lips.

“Fuck,” he whispered against your lips, pulling back and passing his hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. “You were late. And I thought you regretted what happened yesterday. I was freaking out, little human. And then you walked out like nothing happened looking hot enough to eat and smelling like me… Good goddess. Do you know what you do to me?” He pressed his hips against your middle and you moaned at the feel of his huge hard on.

“I- I can feel it,” you stuttered, your voice quivering when his hands squeezed your ass, parting your cheeks and letting one of his fingers rub over your lace covered asshole.

“You have no idea. And now I can’t even fuck you properly. I can’t ruin you the way I want because you were late.” He punctuated each word with a squeeze and a roll of his hips. You panted, so horny you were about to burst and he didn’t even touch you. “Goddess, you smell so fucking good…” He whispered, burying his face on your neck and inhaling deeply.

“I’m sorry… I- I spilled coffee on my skirt and had to change and then I forgot a book and have to open the door again and…” Your rambling was interrupted by his lip covering yours again, swallowing your explanation as he grunted, his hands massaging your ass-cheeks once again.

“What do you have after my class?” He asked, his breathing labored, almost desperate.

“A couple more classes,” you told him, mentally checking if you could skip any of them. But you knew you couldn’t. You knew you shouldn’t. You were a damn good student… Even if you were fucking your way through one of your subjects.

“Shit.” He passed his hand through his hair again, messing it up and making you want to whimper. “Okay, okay. I have classes after lunch, but I’ll be here around four-ish. Does that work for you?” You nodded fervently. “Okay, I expect you to show me how sorry you really are for being late and depriving me from what I was promised.”

“I can… I can give you my panties now,” you offered, feeling the lace sticking to your pussy lips like a second skin because you were that wet.

“I don’t want them. I want you to be feeling how wet I made you all day. I want you to be uncomfortable and thinking about my cock deep inside your pussy until you are so horny you are desperate to come. Until you know how slutty you really are…” You moaned, his words igniting a fire inside of you that made your brain short-circuit. “Now, compose yourself, we have a very interesting class ahead. I’m sure you are dying to know about the survival strategies of cacti,” he said with a laugh, making you let out a choked giggle. You weren’t expecting him to joke. Shit, why did that make him hotter?

The class was boring, but you didn’t even care about it. You didn’t care about anything but the feel of your wet panties against your pussy and his words resonating inside your brain. He made a point of looking directly at you a couple times, going as far as to ask you something about what he was saying, just to huff in annoyance when you didn’t answer correctly. But he smirked in your direction and that was enough to send you spiraling into a thousand of new horny thoughts.

You left his class as fast as you could, trying very hard to look normal when you passed him, but his knowing smile only made your clit pulsate harder, your core clenching around nothing and making you want to beg him to take pity on you and fuck you right then and there. But you were stronger than that, so you left his class on your way to the next one.

You didn’t take a single note the rest of the day, your brain filled with possibilities and images of his hard dick. The feel of his lips against yours, and the ideas of how would feel against your lower lips… Your brain was running a mile per minute, and you couldn’t focus on anything that wasn’t the rub of the lace against your clit. It was exhilarating and maddening at the same time, and by the time four rolled around, you were on the edge and you had to run to his office in need of release.

You knocked rapidly, and when you opened and saw him there, shirt rolled over his big green forearms and glasses pushed down on his nose you almost came right there. Fuck, he was so fucking sexy it wasn’t fair at all.

“Come on in,” he said as soon as you closed the door behind yourself.

You tried to lock it, but he shook his head… Oh shit, that made you even wetter. The idea that you could get caught. That somebody could just walk in and know how much of a slut you were, that you were fucking your professor for a good grade…

You moaned and he chuckled. “Come here, little human, I almost hear your brain short-circuiting.” You walked to him, your steps measured so you wouldn’t fall. Your knees feel like jelly, and your pussy is so wet you are sure he can hear it from the desk. “So… Did you think about what you are going to do to redeem yourself from not meeting your end of our deal this morning?” You nod. “Go ahead, tell me.”

You’d been thinking about it all day. Your whole brain occupied by thoughts of his cock inside of you, against you, spilling in and over you… But there was one thought that surpassed all others. “I- I want to suck you off, sir.”

He smirked, his tusks framing his plush lips in a way that made your clit tingle. “Is that so? But you have such a tiny human mouth, I don’t know if you’d be able to fit me…” He teased, making you blush. You gave him your panties everyday, and that’s what got you to blush, him teasing you… Incredible.

“I will. It will. It will fit, sir,” you stuttered. This orc made your brain so fuzzy you could barely process words correctly anymore. You could barely talk when he was close, especially now that you were moments away from sucking his dick down your throat.

“Prove it then, little slut.”

You dropped to your knees so fast you moaned when you hit the floor, the spark of pain focusing your brain for a second. But the second you touched his big-as-tree-trunks thighs, your brain disconnected again. Only heat and lust left behind. You pulled down his fly in a slow movement, staring up at him as he looked back at you with an indescribable look.

You took his dick out and gasped again. You already saw it, you had it inside of you, but it was nothing compared with the realization that you were about to fit that inside your mouth. Maybe he was right, and it wouldn’t fit.

His eyes were tender when he looked down at you. “Relax, you don’t have to take all of it, just whatever you are comfortable with. I like you submitting to me, but I don’t want to hurt you in any way. Do you understand?” You nodded, relief running down your body and making you even hornier.

“Okay,” you whispered.

And then you launched.

You pulled out your tongue and started mapping the veins of his huge shaft one after the other. His hands were gripping the arms of the chair with such force you could hear the leather breaking. You smiled against his dick and he grunted, one of his hands fisting your hair and urging you where he wanted you more. You complied, you wanted nothing more but to be a good girl for him, a good slutty human for him.

You took his head into your mouth, your lips so stretched it was almost uncomfortable, but you liked it. You loved the feel of his cock inside your mouth, it was exhilarating in a way you weren’t expecting. You weren’t one to like giving head in general, you preferred to go down on girls than guys, but definitely wasn’t your go to activity, but right there… You fucking loved it.

You rolled your tongue around the tip, teasing the underside where you knew he was especially sensitive. He moaned over you, his fist pulling at your hair and making you moan around him, which made him almost whimper and let out a series of curses that would make a pirate blush.

You kept going at it, you couldn’t get past a few centimeters, he was too wide for you to get him to the back of your throat, but by the glassy look in his eyes you understood it was enough. You were messy, your saliva getting everywhere as you bobbed your head up and down.

He was looking down at you reverently, and you couldn’t hold back a few more moans, who made him thrust up accidentally. You pulled back coughing, eyes teary and a few tears rolling down. He groaned at the sigh, and you felt your clit pulsating with your heartbeat. You were so close to coming, you wanted nothing more but to touch yourself. You threw your body to him again, but he stopped you with the hand tangled in your curls.

“I want to fuck your pretty face, would you let me, little slut? Would you let me use you like my personal fuck toy?” You whimpered, nodding against his thigh as he pulled your head back by the hair. “Such a good girl for me, already so needy and desperate. Look at you… You look so dirty like that. Remind me to take a pic so I can enjoy you later,” his words made you emit a guttural moan.

The idea of him taking pics of you like that, make up running and lips swollen… it made you feel hot. It made you feel so horny you could feel your juices dripping down to the floor under you, your panties so wet they couldn’t hold your gushing pussy anymore.

“You like that? You like me having pictures of how pretty you look all fucked up? Why do I even ask, of course you do, you are such a little slut for me. Now open up.” You obeyed and he directed his dick back against your welcoming mouth. “Tap my leg three times if it’s too much, okay?” You nodded again. “Words. How many times?”

“Three. I tap three times if it’s too much,” you repeat, breathless already.

“Good girl.”

And then he started a brutal pace. He used his hold on your hair to direct your movements, moving your head forward until you couldn’t take it further and then retreating. Repeating that process until something inside of you gave out and you felt him slip inside your throat. It was almost too much, you couldn’t breathe, but your eyes rolled back into your head at the sight of him in pleasure.

He pulled back to let you breathe, looking down at you with reverence. “You look so fucked out I want to ruin you. Would you let me ruin you, little human?” You nodded, unable to form words. “Such a good girl for me.” He pulled your head forward and started to fuck your mouth in earnest.

Your brain was fuzzy, your pussy so wet you could feel it dripping down, and your clit asking for attention. The weight of his cock against your tongue, his hand on your hair and his curses over you were driving you insane.

“Touch yourself for me, little human. Come around your tiny fingers. Show me how much you like sucking my orc cock,” his permission was enough, your hand traveling down your body and rubbing frantically against your clit, over the lace.

His pace became erratic, and your fingers rubbed so hard you were almost afraid to set your clit on fire. But it was so good, the combination of sensations so intense you were about to come.

“I’m about to come. Do you want it? Do you want to swallow my come or do you want it in your face, little slut?” You sucked harder, pushing your head further down, swallowing around him to indicate you wanted it. You wanted to swallow him whole.

That was all it took. He growled over you and pushed his dick as far as he could before you felt the first shot of his come in the back of your throat. He pulled back a little to avoid chocking you, the final spurs of his release filling your mouth to the brim, some of it dripping down your chin.

The second he opened his eyes and looked down at you, his dick still in your mouth, you were done. You flicked your clit one last time before you melted, pulling back and spilling the rest of his come over your boobs as you cried out your own release.

Your vision whited out, your ears ringing as you felt your body moving as he pulled you up onto his lap, his hands caressing your back as he whispered sweet nothings that your brain couldn’t process.

He took some tissues from the box on his desk and carefully cleaned your messy face. “You didn’t take the pic,” you told him.

“We didn’t talk about it beforehand. I wouldn’t risk stepping over your possible boundaries like that.” Your heart skipped a beat. “But don’t worry, we’ll have more opportunities if that’s something you’d enjoy…”

“We will?” You asked, a bit confused but a spark of hope blooming inside your chest.

“I’m not letting go of your sweet, sweet slutty pussy anytime soon,” he told you, kissing your forehead as his hand traveled down until it met your dripping panties. “I would like this panties now, thank you,” he whispered against your ear, you could sense his smirk on his tone, making you laugh so hard you snorted.

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sandorsubs · 12 hours ago

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is it only me or this sounds so exhausting and stressful? same with fame drs. you guys are strong because if i had this life i'd beg to be left alone. i'd yell someone "let me buy my own damn tooth paste"

this is kinda crazy because "we can be anything" right? but some things doesn't change. no matter who i am, i'll always find this kind of life exhausting. i want to be more social but i know i won't be happy as a popular and famous person.

then i question myself, is there a link between my realities? like something common. why did we choose them? do they tell anything about who we are? like in soul?

i tried to make connection. for example all of my drs includes fighting with "bad side" and saving/protecting. but why the bad side exists in the first place? because this is basically a hero complex, i wouldn't be needed if bad side didn't exist. i wouldn't be useful or needed. it almost sounds sad.

i remember a shifttoker said "you shouldn't permashift because you have a lesson to learn in this reality" i don't believe this but what if that lesson remains same in every reality because what the fuck? is this what they call soul contract? so healing is general but we can't see the big picture yet?

i'm kind of curious how it works for other people, i mean what is your common motives in realities (don't say fucking my s/o)

(wait maybe that's another thing to ponder)

insane, dream-like things that were normal in my better cr . . . in other words, what it was like being part of the 1%

i never carried cash : i didn’t need to. if i ever found myself in a situation where cash was required, idk, a farmer’s market or bribing someone, i’d just apple pay!?

i never waited for anything : reservations were booked months in advance. lines were always skipped. at clubs we just walked right in. theme parks? VIP passes only. i have never stood in a queue longer than 90 seconds in my life...or...in my better cr.

my closet was bigger than a new york apartment : and everything was colour-coded. yep. yep !!!

i never read price tags : not because i was being reckless, because i simply did not need to know. it was always fine.

if i wanted something, i got it : saw a dress in a magazine? had it by the next morning. craved a specific croissant from a bakery in paris? it was flown in. life had no delays.

luxury was so normal i had to actively remind myself it wasn’t : by the 13th day, i would have moments, small ones, where i’d be like, " wait, not everyone has their own perfume custom-blended by a french artisan? " and then i’d move on.

the ‘poor kid’ still had a trust fund. . . they just had less in it.

errands? what errands? dry cleaning, post office, buying toothpaste. these were not my problems.

skincare was medical : not just a ‘good moisturiser’ situation, i mean dermatologist-designed, prescription-only, lab-created serums. my facials involved lasers. my face was someone’s full-time job.

my mom had a florist on retainer : fresh-cut flowers appeared in my room like magic. i never asked for them. they just were.

celebrity run-ins were painfully normal : “oh yeah, we had dinner next to tilda swinton last night.” “who?” WHO?

we never parked our own cars : valet, always. i had a friend who didn’t even know how to use a parking metre.

there was no such thing as ‘saving up’. in those two weeks i never thought, “hmm, should i buy this now or wait till christmas when i get 50 euros from my grandma?” PFTTTTT.

everyone had a ‘family office’ : financial advisers, lawyers, accountants. my money was managed. someone in my school had three.

coffee orders were wildly specific : not ‘latte with oat milk’ specific. i mean custom-roasted beans, flown in from a single farm in costa rica, brewed at a precise temperature, delivered in a monogrammed cup.

doctors made house calls : i have not seen the inside of a waiting room. ever. feeling sick? someone arrived.

vacation homes weren’t a flex, they were a given : there’s the paris apartment (1st arrondissement, obviously), the villa in lake como, the chalet in gstaad. the only real estate question was, “are we summering in capri or st. barths?

your signature scent is impossible to buy : it’s either a discontinued hermès perfume from the ’70s that you miraculously still source, or a custom blend from a perfumer who only takes five clients a year.

flying commercial is a horror story, not an option : tsa? baggage claim? delays? these are foreign concepts. you had a netjets membership at the very least, but most likely, you have a family jet with an interior designed by someone who also did a yacht.

your tastebuds have standards : your daily coffee comes from a faema e61, your eggs are from a private farm, and your idea of a snack is burrata flown in from puglia that morning. did i mention my private school had michelin chefs?? yea.

you own art. like, real art : not prints. not posters. actual, museum-worthy pieces that are either inherited or sourced through galleries that don’t even have websites.

most people don’t know what anything costs : a gallon of milk? no idea. a metro ticket? couldn’t tell you. you swipe, tap, sign, and never check.

you don’t shop in stores like normal people : you go to private showrooms, have pieces sent to your home, or shop off-runway. waiting in line… horrendous.

i’ve had a ‘house account’ somewhere : a boutique, a jeweller, a tailor. places where you don’t pay on the spot, just ‘put it on the account’ and settle later.

i was taught how to eat properly : which fork for what course, how to use a butter knife, the correct way to hold a wine glass. it’s not something i learned. it’s something i absorbed from watching adults at endless dinners, benefits, and polo events.

i don’t remember learning how to ski or ride horses : because i was doing it before i was fully conscious. i have childhood photos in full equestrian gear, little skis strapped to my feet in gstaad or zermatt. it’s just something i always did.

an art education by osmosis : grew up hearing adults talk about rothko, basquiat, and duchamp in casual conversation. dragged to the louvre and the tate before i could even read. instinctively know the difference between an original and a print.

i have a family lawyer on retainer : and not because i ever committed a crime. they exist to handle things. NDAs, reputation management, keeping your name out of the papers. they know where the bodies are buried, metaphorically (or not).

most families’ wealth is so old and so layered in offshore accounts that even they don’t fully understand it : trust funds? sure, but also shell companies in the caymans, art holdings in geneva, real estate portfolios under LLCs. money isn’t in banks. it’s spread across continents.

most parents’ have had affairs with each other for decades, and it’s not even a scandal anymore : it’s just part of the ecosystem. marriages aren’t about love, they’re alliances. the wives turn a blind eye, the husbands keep it discreet, and the real betrayal is talking about it.

i’ve been name-dropped in a deposition : it was a divorce case. i was never involved, but my name was adjacent to power, so it got dragged in. the case was settled out of court, of course.

most families has multiple passports : not for fun, not for aesthetics. because sometimes you need an exit strategy. a villa in capri, a château in france, a penthouse in dubai. doors are always open, should you ever need to disappear.

i’ve seen actual generational feuds play out in real time : my parents have enemies. their parents had enemies. the grudges go back decades, and nobody even remembers what started it.

i grew up around people who have gotten away with actual crimes : white-collar, mostly. insider trading, fraud, tax evasion. but sometimes things darker. people go to rehab, people “retire early,” people take extended trips to monaco until things cool down.

i’ve seen billionaires (and their kids) break down over the pettiest things : a bad seat at a gala, a misplaced monogram on their jet, a slight from someone whose family has less money than theirs. the richer they are, the more fragile they get.

my family has a pr strategy : this is largely because my mom is a ceo of a billion dollar company. and everything is managed. what photos are released, what stories are planted, which journalists are “friendly.” nothing is random.

i know that philanthropy is often just money laundering with better optics : charities set up for tax reasons, “foundations” that quietly funnel wealth back into the family, billionaire donations that conveniently coincide with favourable legislation.

i’ve seen people lose their fortunes overnight : one wrong deal, one lawsuit, one scandal that sticks, and suddenly, the private jets are getting repossessed. the real old money…they watch from a distance. they never risk everything.

i know that some billionaires don’t actually have liquid cash : they’re over-leveraged, playing financial gymnastics with their own net worth. yachts, art, mansions. but the second they need actual money? suddenly, things get complicated. this is why everyone in my school donated possessions instead of actual money.

met people who don’t own their clothes : couture is loaned, jewellery is borrowed, yachts are rented to themselves through shell companies. it’s all about optics. they don’t need to own when they can access.

heard rich kids joke about things that would make normal people physically ill : laughing about tax evasion, casually mentioning private rehabs like summer camp, making bets on stocks that could ruin lives.

met billionaires who are bored of being rich : the thrill is gone. the yachts, the jets, the parties. it’s routine. they start chasing danger. high-stakes gambling, extreme sports, secret societies. anything to feel something.

#shifting #reality shifting #reality shift #shifting community #shifting realities

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lov3notts · 1 day ago

Text

rewritten

theodore nott x reader

summary: part 3, can Theo fix things between you two? after so much heartbreak can you give him a second chance?

a/n:im sorry this took so long, I got hit with writers block and discouragement, hope you guys like it!!

Navigation; masterlist; request rules; part 1; part 2

Mattheo had seen Theo at his lowest before. After brutal duels, after fights with his father, after sleepless nights filled with too much firewhisky and not enough self-preservation. But this? This was different.

This wasn’t anger. Wasn’t recklessness.

This was nothingness.

Theo was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it had the answers to all of his problems. His dorm was a disaster—papers scattered, books left open, untouched meals sitting cold on his desk. The only movement in the room came from the slow rise and fall of his chest.

Mattheo leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed."Mate."

No response.

"You look like shit."

Still nothing.

Mattheo sighed, running a hand through his hair before stepping further into the room. "Alright, fine. You wanna sit here and wallow, go ahead. But you do know this isn’t sustainable, right?"

Theo didn’t even blink.

"Skipping class, not eating, shutting everyone out—what’s the end goal here?"

Silence.

Mattheo clenched his jaw, patience wearing thin. He walked over and grabbed a book off Theo’s desk before chucking it at him. It hit his shoulder, but Theo barely reacted.

That pissed Mattheo off.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" he snapped. "What, you’re just gonna waste away in here? That’s your big plan?"

Finally, Theo shifted. Slowly, he looked up, his face pale and hollow. His voice, when he spoke, was rough. "What do you want me to do, Mattheo?"

"Oh, I don’t know—anything but this?" Mattheo gestured around the room. "You’ve made some stupid decisions before, but this? This is pathetic, even for you."

Theo let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. "Pathetic. Yeah. That sounds about right."

Mattheo exhaled sharply, dragging a chair closer and sitting across from him. "Listen, I get it. You fucked up. Big time. But wasting away in here isn’t gonna change that. You want her back? Fight for her. You want to move on? Then do it. But don’t just sit here acting like your life is over because she walked away."

Theo’s eyes darkened. "It is over."

Mattheo froze.

It wasn’t the words that shook him—it was the way Theo meant them.

"You don’t get it," Theo muttered, voice raw. "She wasn’t just some girl, Mattheo. She was everything. And I ruined it. I ruined her." His fingers dug into his knees, knuckles white. "So tell me, what exactly am I supposed to do now?"

For the first time, Mattheo didn’t have a quick response. Because fuck—he didn’t know.

He had never seen Theo like this before.

But he did know one thing.

"You need to talk to her," he said finally.

Theo scoffed, shaking his head. "She won’t listen."

Mattheo leaned forward. "Not if you keep sulking like a bloody ghost. But if you really love her? Then you have to at least try."

Theo swallowed hard, his walls cracking just a bit.

Mattheo sighed, standing up. "Look, I can’t force you to get your shit together. But I can ask for help." He glanced toward the door. "If you won’t go to her, maybe she’ll come to you."

Theo’s head snapped up. "Mattheo—"

"Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle," Mattheo said with a smirk, but there was no humor behind it. "Just sit tight, yeah?"

And with that, he walked out, leaving Theo alone with his demons.

The days after your fight with Theodore Nott were oddly quiet. Not because the world had stopped moving, but because a part of you had. No matter how much you tried to push forward, his words still echoed in your head.

“it was just a bet!”

Now, you were sitting in the Great Hall, trying to focus on your breakfast when a presence loomed over you.

"Can we talk?"

You glanced up and met Mattheo Riddle’s gaze. His usual smirk was absent, his dark eyes serious. That alone sent a chill down your spine. Mattheo never looked serious.

You hesitated. "Depends. What about?"

He exhaled sharply and took a seat across from you without invitation. "It’s Theo."

Your stomach twisted, but you masked it with indifference. "Not my problem."

Mattheo scoffed. "Yeah, well, that’s the thing. He’s not exactly making himself anyone’s problem anymore. He’s barely eating, hasn’t been to class in days, and I haven’t seen him leave his room since—" He stopped himself, but you knew what he was about to say.

Since you left him on his knees in the library.

You forced yourself to take a bite of toast, despite suddenly losing your appetite. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

"You don’t have to do anything. But maybe… just talk to him?"

You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head. "You do remember that he completely shattered my trust, right? That I was just some game to him?"

Mattheo ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I know, okay? I know he screwed up. And if you never want to see him again, I get it. But…" His voice lowered. "I don’t think he’s okay. I don’t think he will be if someone doesn’t pull him out of whatever the hell he’s drowning in."

That made your chest tighten. No matter how much Theo had hurt you, you couldn’t pretend you didn’t care. But did you care enough to reopen old wounds? To look at the person who betrayed you and risk getting hurt all over again?

Mattheo must have seen your hesitation because he leaned forward, his voice softer now. "I wouldn’t be here begging if I thought he could fix this himself. But he can’t. And like it or not, you’re the only one who can get through to him."

You swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the table.

This was a bad idea. A terrible idea.

But deep down, you already knew what you were going to do.

You stood in front of his dormitory door, your hand hovering over the doorknob, the air thick with uncertainty. You’d come here, but now that you were standing here, the doubt crept back in. Was this the right choice? Could you really face him? Could you even talk to him without everything you felt rushing back—without everything he did rushing back?

You knocked softly, but there was no response. The quiet only made the pressure in your chest grow. Hesitant, you slowly turned the knob, and to your surprise, the door creaked open.

The room was dim, only a few rays of light slipping through the curtains. And there, in the middle of the room, was Theodore Nott. He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with an unreadable expression. His body was curled into itself, as if he were trying to shrink away from the world.

A pang of guilt surged through you. You wanted to turn away, to run, but you couldn’t.

Your feet moved before you could stop them, one step at a time, until you were standing beside his bed. You swallowed hard, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside you. "Theo?"

His head snapped toward the sound of your voice, his eyes wide with shock. His expression froze as he stared at you—like he was afraid, as if seeing you might be some cruel trick. His eyes, so full of confusion and fear, shimmered with unshed tears.

"Y/N?… You came?" His voice was barely a whisper, like he didn’t believe you were really there.

A wave of emotion washed over you, but you pushed it down, trying to keep your voice steady. "Mattheo said you weren’t doing well.”

Theo didn’t say anything. He just stared at you, as if your words hadn’t even fully registered yet. His eyes searched your face, every line of his body tense, too afraid to even move, like any sudden movement would make you disappear. You could see how broken he looked, how much he wanted to believe this wasn’t just some dream.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself, as if trying to find the right words, or maybe wondering if words even mattered anymore.

You glanced past him into the room. It was a mess—books scattered, clothes thrown carelessly, a tray of untouched food on the desk. It smelled like stale air and something heartbreakingly lonely.

You hesitated before speaking. "This isn’t you, Theo."

"I don’t know who I am without you," he admitted, voice raw.

You turned to him sharply, something inside you cracking at the sheer honesty in his voice. "Theo…"

"No, let me say this."He exhaled shakily, running a trembling hand through his hair. "I know I don’t deserve to ask for anything from you. I don’t deserve to stand here and beg, but—" He cut himself off, pressing his lips together like he was trying to hold himself together.

And then, quietly, "I don’t know how to exist without you."

Your breath hitched. "You were the one who broke us, Theo. You made that choice."

"I know." His voice cracked. "And I hate myself for it. Every second of every day, I regret it. The bet, the lies, all of it—it was the biggest mistake of my life."

You swallowed, arms tightening around yourself. "Then why did you do it?"

"Because I was a coward." He let out a bitter laugh. "Because I had you—this brilliant, beautiful, impossible thing—and I was terrified that you were too good to be real. That I would love you and you would leave, so I ruined it before you could."

His confession left you breathless.

You had spent so long believing you were never enough for him. That you had been nothing but a game. But hearing this—hearing that he had been just as scared as you had—made your chest ache.

"I never wanted to hurt you," Theo whispered. "But I did. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I need you to know that I loved you. That I still do."

You blinked, eyes burning. "Theo…"

"I would move mountains just to be with you again," he continued, voice shaking. "Even if it takes years. Even if you never look at me the same way again. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you were never just a bet to me."

Tears slipped down your cheeks, unbidden, and Theo’s breath stuttered like the sight of your pain was physically hurting him.

He reached out instinctively but stopped himself, his hands hovering inches from yours. "Tell me there’s still a chance." His voice was barely a whisper. "Even if it’s not today. Even if it’s not soon. Just tell me I haven’t lost you forever."

You stood there, heart hammering, torn between the pain of the past and the boy in front of you—broken, vulnerable, real.

This was the moment.

The moment where you could walk away, close the door, leave him to his regret.

Or you could stay.

You took a breath.

And then, finally, you spoke.

The first few days after you left his dorm were the hardest.

Theo had promised you he’d fix himself, that he’d become better—not for you, but for himself first. But promises were just words, and words had never been enough. Not when he had already shattered your trust once.

So, for the first time in weeks, he forced himself out of bed.

It wasn’t easy. The weight of his mistakes clung to him like a sickness, making even the smallest things feel impossible. Eating felt pointless. Attending class felt meaningless. But he did it anyway. One step at a time.

At breakfast, Mattheo raised an eyebrow when Theo sat down at their usual table, his plate only half-full.

"Didn’t think I’d see you out of that damn room anytime soon," Mattheo muttered, nudging his shoulder.

Theo didn’t respond right away, just picked at his food before finally saying, "I need to fix things."

Mattheo huffed out a short laugh, though there was no malice behind it. "Yeah? And how do you plan on doing that?"

Theo didn’t have an answer yet. But he knew one thing—he couldn’t keep being this version of himself. The one who wallowed in his grief, who drowned in guilt without trying to swim to the surface.

So, he changed.

He stopped avoiding the world. Stopped shutting people out.

He went to class, even when his mind screamed at him to go back to bed. He studied harder than he ever had before, pouring himself into books instead of his own self-loathing. When his friends spoke to him, he actually listened instead of shutting them out.

He even picked up his journal again, spilling his thoughts onto paper in a desperate attempt to make sense of the chaos inside his head. He wrote letters—ones meant for you, ones that would never be sent. Some were apologies, some were confessions, but all of them were real.

But it wasn’t about getting you back.

It was about becoming someone who deserved you.

Someone you could trust again.

Weeks passed before he saw you again.

It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t fate. It was just life forcing their paths to cross like it always did.

You were sitting by the Black Lake, your nose buried in a book, completely lost in the words. He should’ve walked away. Should’ve kept his distance. But his feet betrayed him, halting a few steps away from you.

You must’ve felt his presence because you looked up, your eyes meeting his.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Theo braced himself for the worst—coldness, anger, maybe even indifference. But instead, you studied him, like if you were trying to figure out if the person standing before you was the same one who had broken your heart.

"You look… different," you said softly.

Theo swallowed. "I had to be."

your gaze didn’t waver. "Why?"

"Because the person I was before didn’t deserve you."

Something flickered in your expression, but you didn’t look away. You just nodded, your grip tightening around the book on your lap.

Not forgiveness. Not yet.

But something.

Weeks turned into months. Theo didn’t push, didn’t force his way back into your life. He just showed up.

Not in the obvious ways. He didn’t beg or plead. Didn’t bombard her with apologies. Instead, he proved himself in the quiet moments.

He helped first-years struggling with their potions when no one was watching. He started paying attention in class, excelling in subjects he used to neglect. He let people rely on him, let himself become someone trustworthy—not just to you, but to everyone around him.

And then, when the time was right, he left something for you.

A book.

Your favorite one, sitting on the library table where you used to study together. But inside, tucked between the pages, were letters.

Dozens of them. Some dated weeks ago, some written only days before.

You hesitated before picking it up, flipping through the pages. And then you saw the first note.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry One

Date: The Night You Left

I haven’t stopped thinking about the look in your eyes. The way you froze. The way your breath caught like I had knocked the air out of you.

I keep telling myself that if I had just shut up, if I had just walked away instead of letting my anger win, you’d still be here. But I didn’t. I let the worst version of myself take control, and now I have to live with the fact that the last thing you heard from me was a lie.

Because that’s what it was. A lie.

You were never a bet.

Not for a single second.

You were the first thing in my life that ever felt real. The first person who looked at me like I was worth something. The first person I ever truly, fully loved. And I threw that away. I let my pride, my temper, my own self-destruction take over, and I broke the one thing I never wanted to lose.

I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t even know if I can. But if I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that what we had—what we have—is real, then I will.

Even if it’s too late.

—Theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry 2

Date: One Week Without You

I see you everywhere.

In the empty chair across from me in the library. In the spaces between my fingers where yours used to fit. In the quiet moments where your voice used to live.

And I wonder—do you miss me at all? Do you hear my name in whispers? Do you reach for me in your sleep? Or am I just a scar you’re waiting to fade?

If you told me to wait for you, I would. I would wait for days, for months, for years—as long as it took for you to believe that I never meant those words. That you were never a game to me. That you were the only thing that ever made sense in my life.

But you haven’t told me anything.

So I wait anyway.

Because I can’t imagine a world where I ever stop hoping for you.

—Theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry 3

Date: Two Weeks Without You

I should’ve told you how beautiful you looked in the mornings, when your hair was a mess and your voice was still laced with sleep.

I should’ve told you how your laugh could pull me out of my worst days, how it became the sound I searched for in crowded rooms.

I should’ve told you that loving you scared me. That it made me feel like I had something to lose for the first time in my life.

I should’ve told you that the night we had our first kiss, I went back to my dorm, sat on my bed, and smiled—just sat there, grinning like an idiot, because I knew, in that moment, that I was done for. That you had ruined me for anyone else.

I should’ve told you that I loved you more than I loved myself.

Maybe if I had, you’d still be here.

-theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry 4

Date: three Weeks Without You

You probably don’t know that I still sit in the library, right where you left me. Not every night. Just the ones where I can’t breathe.

You probably don’t know that I reread our old notes, the ones we used to pass back and forth in class. I keep them in my bag like they’re sacred, like they’re proof that once, you laughed with me. That once, I wasn’t just a mistake to you.

You probably don’t know that every time I hear your name, my hands shake.

That I’ve started keeping a list of all the things I should’ve done differently.

That I miss you in a way that feels like it might kill me.

But the worst part?

You probably don’t care anymore.

And I deserve that.

—Theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry 5

Date: The Day You Knocked on My Door

I thought I was dreaming.

I heard the knock, but I didn’t move. I figured it was Mattheo, coming to drag me out of this room again, to remind me that I’m still supposed to be alive, even when I feel like I’m not.

But then I heard your voice.

And suddenly, I was alive.

I was shocked to see you. Not because I didn’t want to see you—I ached to see you—but because I was afraid. Afraid that I had imagined it. Afraid that you were here just to tell me, to my face, that you were done for good.

But you weren’t.

You were there.

Standing in my doorway, looking at me like you didn’t recognize me anymore. Maybe you don’t. Maybe I really am just a shell of the person you once loved.

You didn’t say anything at first. And I didn’t either. I was too busy memorizing the way your hands twitched at your sides, the way your lips parted slightly like you wanted to speak but didn’t know where to start.

And then, finally—"Mattheo said I should talk to you."

Your voice was quieter than I remembered. Or maybe I had just forgotten what it was like to hear it so close.

I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to fall to my knees again and beg, to tell you that I haven’t slept, that I haven’t breathed right since you walked away, that I would do anything to rewrite the past.

But instead, I just nodded.

Because I knew this wasn’t my moment to fall apart. This was your moment to decide if I was worth saving.

So I stood there.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Daring to believe that maybe—just maybe—you hadn’t given up on me yet.

—Theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Entry 6

Date: One Month Without You

I don’t just want your forgiveness.

I want your trust. Your laughter. Your sleepy morning voice. The way you roll your eyes at me but secretly smile when you think I’m not looking. The way you say my name like it’s something safe.

I want you.

And I know I have no right to ask for that.

But if there is even the smallest chance—if there is even the tiniest sliver of hope that you still look at me and see something worth saving—then I will not waste it.

I will prove it to you. With every breath, with every action, with every single moment I have left in this life.

Because I love you.

And I will spend a lifetime making it right.

—Theo

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

At first, your hands tremble. The pages feel heavier than they should, like they’re carrying all the weight of the past, of everything left unsaid, of him.

You tell yourself you’ll just read one. Just a glimpse. Just to know if he even cares.

But then one turns into two. Then three. Then all of them.

And suddenly, you can’t breathe.

Because this isn’t just guilt. This isn’t just some empty apology, some desperate attempt to win you back with words. This is raw. This is pain. This is love.

This is a boy breaking himself open, spilling every ugly, unspoken truth onto paper because he doesn’t know how else to reach you.

And God, you feel it.

You feel it in the way his handwriting shakes in some letters but steadies in others, like he’s fighting himself, like he’s trying to hold on and let go at the same time.

You feel it in the confessions he never said out loud—the ones about how he saw you in everything, how he would’ve moved mountains to take it all back, how he doesn’t just want you to forgive him, he wants you to trust him.

And when you read the last letter—the one about how he would spend a lifetime making it right—you realize something.

He never stopped fighting for you.

Not once.

Not even when he thought he had already lost.

And then, with your chest so tight it almost hurts, you look up.

He’s already watching you.

Theo looks like he’s barely breathing, like the moment is too fragile, like if he moves too fast, you might disappear. There’s something in his eyes you haven’t seen in a long time—something that almost makes your throat close up.

Hope.

He doesn’t say anything. He’s waiting. Letting you decide what happens next.

And for the first time in a long time, you realize…

He means it.

Every word. Every promise.

The silence between you stretches, thick with everything unsaid. The letters are still clutched in your hands, his words lingering in your chest, pressing against the pieces of your heart that you swore were too broken to be put back together.

Theo swallows hard. His hands twitch at his sides, like he wants to reach for you but doesn’t dare. "Say something," he finally murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please."

You inhale sharply, steadying yourself. "Do you really mean it?"

He doesn’t hesitate. "Every word."

"And you’re not just saying all of this because you miss me? Because you feel guilty?" Your voice is careful, guarded—because this has to be real. If you give him your heart again, there’s no surviving if he shatters it a second time.

Theo steps closer. Not too close, but enough that you can see the raw desperation in his eyes. "I’m saying this because losing you was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Because I was an idiot, and I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that." He pauses, his breath shaky. "But more than anything, I’m saying it because I love you. I never stopped. And I never will.*"

Your heart clenches painfully. "Theo…"

"You don’t have to say it back," he cuts in quickly. "You don’t have to promise me anything. Just—" He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, struggling to find the right words. "Just tell me there’s a chance. Tell me I haven’t lost you forever."

You look at him then, really look at him. He’s not the same person he was that night in the library. He’s not the boy who let pride and recklessness ruin the best thing in his life. He’s different. He’s trying.

And that’s when you know.

You step forward, closing the distance between you. His breath catches as your hand brushes against his—light, hesitant, but enough to make his whole body go still.

"I’m still angry," you admit softly. "I’m still hurt."

Theo nods, his jaw tightening. "I know."

"But…" You take a breath, steadying yourself. "I believe you."

His eyes widen slightly, like he wasn’t expecting those words. "You—"

"I believe that you mean it," you clarify. "And if you’re really going to prove it—if you’re really going to fight for this—"

You pause, feeling the weight of this moment. Then, finally, you say the words that make his breath shudder.

"Then I’m willing to try."

For a second, Theo doesn’t move. He just stares at you, like he’s afraid he imagined it. But then—

"You won’t regret it," he swears, his voice cracking slightly. "I swear on everything, I won’t waste this chance."

And when he finally, finally takes your hand—holding it like it’s the most precious thing in the world— you let him.

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