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#LEAVE THE MAN ALONE!!!!!
daftmooncretin · 4 months
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armand and louis are like that couple that have a baby to save their marriage but instead of having a baby they emotionally torture an old man that they both kind of want to fuck
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vaxxildamn · 15 days
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finally…… the legendary Level 20 Scissor Gal-adin
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butchpilledjokr · 2 months
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i finished gravity falls today!!! woohoo!!! (im gonna sob)
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turtletoria · 26 days
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the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid
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thewistlingbadger · 1 year
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Fuck Miguel because HES actually the first anomaly. He abused his power/ability to travel between universes to take the place of someone else. Had he not done that, that universe and everything in it would still be around. But Miles? Miles ACCIDENTALLY got bit by spider that wasn't where it was supposed to be. How tf was he supposed to know that?
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panakina · 8 months
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Imagine constantly being compared to who you were at 14. No wonder Jason todd goes a bit bonkers sometimes.
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scatterbrainedbot · 11 months
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cass, a professional: order of badass donbot, extra dramatic entrance!
me, nodding, banned from most kitchens: leo drama and angst, heard chef!
(shoutout to @somerandomdudelmao for yet again making feel emotions i cannot fully explain)
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femd-archive · 3 months
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Please more on sub Kenji PLEASEEEEEEE😭😭
why of course (ㅅ´ ˘ `)
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BIRTHDAY BOY
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pairing: ultraman: rising — kenji sato x fem!reader
word counting: 2.4k
content warning: not proofreader | sub!kenji | maybe an occ kenji but who cares | pegging | use of toys (strap-on) | fingering (male recieving) | dumbification (kenji wants to get pregnant woops) | mention of pregnancy | breeding kink | hands-free cumming | maybe too cheesy. i just love this man TT lots of kisses and praises | aftercare and maybe other content that i'm forgetting about :/
summary: after discussing about pegging with kenji, he purchases something on his birthday. a strap-on!
side note: english is not my first lenguage, so i apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes
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"Ta-da!"
[Name] glances at the gift-wrapped box that Kenji had just placed on her lap before looking up again, finding her boyfriend's excited face looking at her right back.
"A gift? For me? But it's your birthday" she reminds him, taking the box and starting to tear the paper anyways.
"Uh-huh. It's a gift for you, but technically it's still something that will be used on me" Kenji explains, making [Name] look up again, confused, before looking back at the already unwrapped box. She looks at the object with a surprised face.
'Sexy fantasy. Silicone strap-on' was what the box said, showing a picture of the product inside.
To be completely honest, it wasn't a surprise at all. For almost a month now, [Name] herself had brought the topic of pegging to the table with Kenji, excited to try it out, but also understanding if it was something he wasn't comfortable with. From Kenji's face, she could tell that he was scared, maybe even a little bit upset? But two days after he had said that he was going to think about it, one night before going to sleep, Kenji had said yes when he was already in dreamland.
After confirming it again the next day -becuase [Name] thought that he was just talking in his sleep- they began with small sessions to prepare Kenji. The first one was full of nerves.
"Is it going to hurt?" Kenji asks as he watches his girlfriend climb onto the bed after bringing the bottle of lube from the bathroom.
"Maybe a little, but I'm going to do my best so it doesn't hurt too much. I promise" she reassures him, caressing her arm as she looks into his eyes with her pupils dilated with love. "Besides" she continued, "we'll stop if you want to, just say the word. We don't have to finish this in one day. So if you feel uncomfortable, just say it, okay?"
"Won't you be angry?" he asks again, taking his girlfriend's hand in his, stroking her knuckles with his thumb.
"Of course not" she responds quickly. [Name] cradles Kenji's face between both of her hands, making him look into her eyes. "This is to make you feel good, okay? I don't want any more than that, and if you don't feel good about this now, we'll stop, okay? No problem" she nods her head at him and then leans in to leave a kiss on his forehead.
After a few more moments of reassurance, they finally began. Kenji's underwear was discarded somewhere in the room, leaving him at the mercy of his girlfriend who only looked at him with adoring eyes.
"You look very pretty, Kenji" she praised him, placing a kiss on his inner thigh. Kenji breathes raggedly, feeling the sensations of his girlfriend's caresses with every fiber of his body.
The insertion of [Name]'s index finger was slow. She looked up all the time, analyzing the gestures on her boyfriend's face while her finger sank deeper and deeper into him.
"It's all in" she announced when it really was, taking her boyfriend's hand with her free hand. She gave it a small squeeze and moved it to heer lips to place a kiss on his knuckles. "How do you feel? Did it hurt?"
Kenji lifts his head from the fluffy pillows to look at his girlfriend with dizzy eyes. "I'm fine, I'm fine" he reassures, "it only stung a little, but it was fine"
[Name] smiles, caressing his knuckles lovingly. "Okay, I'm going to stop for a bit until you get used to it and then I'll move, okay?" she watched as Kenji nodded his head. "Words, baby"
"Yeah, yeah… okay" Kenji responds, giving his girlfriend a small smile.
For his first session, Kenji managed to take 2 fingers quite well. After that, the next sessions became looser and Kenji became more vocal about the places he liked to be touched. He even almost came without hands!
So yes, the subject about pegging was nothing strange for the couple, but [Name] never thought that Kenji would buy a strap-on on his own. She looks back at her boyfriend.
"Are you sure you want to do it today?" she asks, feeling a little nervous.
"What better day than today?" Kenji asked with a teasing tone. Noticing his girlfriend's nerves, his eyes softened and he walked over to sit next to her. "Hey" he calls, cupping her face with both hands, "I trust you, okay? And I trust that you'll not hurt me and you'll make me feel good, like you always do" he reassures, smiling at her. He kisses her lips softly, condoning all of their love in that kiss. "I love you" he whispered against her lips after breaking away from the kiss.
[Name] smiles, placing another small kiss on Kenji's lips. "I love you too" she whispers. "Now come on, I have to make the birthday boy feel good" she stands with the box in her hands, and Kenji is quick to follow her with a smile.
"Wooow!" he cheers with is arms uo, before hugging his girlfriend from behind and walking together to the bedroom.
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Kenji spreads kisses all over his girlfriend's abdomen, hips and thighs, while she tries to fasten the strap-on on her hips.
"Excited?" she asks with a teasing tone. Kenji rests his chin on her stomach, hugging her legs.
"Yup" he replies, placing another kiss next to [Name]'s navel. "I can't wait to have you inside me" he purrs, watching her from below with half-lidded eyes.
[Name] was about to say something, until her words were trapped in her mouth when she saw how her boyfriend took that silicone dick and began to caress it as if it were a real one.
Leaving kisses along the toy, Ken looks up again, making eye contact with his girlfriend as he runs his tongue from the base to the tip of the fake dick, making [Name] shudder
"Shit, baby…" she reaches out her hand, running her fingers through Kenji's hair.
Placing another kiss on his girlfriend's hip, Kenji speaks again as he masturbates the silicone cock. "I learned a thing or two while you were away" he declares, before -much to [Name]'s surprise- taking the entire length of the toy into his mouth.
"Ken- Oh dear. Kenji" she cups his cheek, looking at him with admiration as he begins to bob his head. "You never cease to amaze me"
"Please, baby" Kenji begged between licks and kisses, "fuck me good" he whispered, looking at her with begging eyes. [Name] smiles, amazed at how bold Kenji could become.
"That I'll do" she whispers, bending down to catch Kenji's lips on a feverish kiss. They fall into the sheets, [Name] on top on Kenji as she takes his briefs off without looking, freeing Kenji's hard cock into the cold air.
He keeps on spreading kisses on [Name]'s body as she stretchs to grab the lube bottle from the night stand. She kisses his lips once again. "How do you wanna do it, birthday boy?" she asks, uncapping the bottle and squeezing some of the lub on the plastic dick, spreading it with her hand on a jerking motion.
"I wanna see your face" he says, propping on his elbows to see her better.
"Then we'll stay like this" she shrugs, smiling at Ken.
[Name] slips three fingers with ease inside of Kenji, thrusting them in and drawing moans from his lips. "I forgot how good they feel" Ken sighs, moving his hips to slightly ride your fingers.
"Yeah? Do you like them more than my cock?" [Name] teases.
"I'll have to try it first to figure that out" he teases back.
They share a wet kiss as [Name] takes her fingers out and position herself between Ken's legs again. Aligning the dildo with Kenji's hole, she looks up at him. "Are you ready?" she asks, concern back in her eyes.
Ken props in his elbows once again, pulling [Name] closer with a hand behind her neck. "I've been ready since I said yes" he reassures, leaving a short kiss on her lips, "now please, put it in?" he reaches out his hand, taking the dildo and putting it back on its rightful place. [Name] cooperates and moves her hips to push it in, slowly. Ken throws his head back, hitting the pillows. "Mmh" he mumbles, looking up at his girlfriend with adoring eyes.
[Name] bottoms out, and her hands run up and down against Kenji's long legs, caressing them to bring some comfort at the strange intruding sensation. She moves her hands all up Ken's body, bending down to litter his stomach and chest with kisses, finally reaching his lips and kissing him softly.
"You're so pretty Ken. So good for me" praises fall from her lips as she follows her kisses on his shoulder, caressing his hips with her thumbs.
After a few moments being cuddled up, Ken kisses [Name]'s cheek to gain her attention. "You can move now" he whispers, smiling softly at her.
Without wanting to make him wait more, [Name] obeys and start moving her hips slowly, eyes fixated in the way Ken throws his head back in the pillows and moans softly at the movement inside of him. Soon, she starts picking up her pace, going faster and faster.
Ken's mouth opens, moaning without shame. He grabs [Name]'s arms that are on each side of his hips, searching for support in the sea of pleasure he just jumped in.
"Does it feels good?" [Name] asks between whispers, erratic breathing due the constant thrusting.
"So good, baby, nnngh- Please! Faster, fuck me faster!" he whines, getting a hold of his girlfriend and hugging her from her shoulders.
[Name] took a grasp of Ken's hips and did as he asked, fucking him faster. The bed moved below them, hitting on the wall softly, but who cared about that now? Definitely not Kenji, who's eyes were way back as he hugged his girlfriend, strong body easily bouncing on her hips.
The room was filled with his moans and the sound of skin slapping. His harden cock, poorly neglected, was rubbing in between their bodies, pre sprouting from the tip and making it more slippery.
After so many position changes, [Name] had finally found Kenji's prostate. He had gone silence, hugging one of the pillows as the tip of the toy hitted that spot again and again on a loop.
"You close, baby?" [Name] asks with a kiss on his shoulder, her hips never stopping.
"Yes" he drags the last letter. Ken makes an effort to prop on his elbows to look back, looking at his girlfriend with pleading eyes. "Please..." he whines, "please fill me up, nngh ~ fill me up with your babies. Please..." he keeps on begging, even reaching for [Name]'s wrist to hold onto, looking at her with those pleading puppy eyes.
[Name] gets shocked for a second, and with that, her movements also halt, making Kenji whine. "Baby, you know I can't do that-" another of Kenji's cries interrupt her.
"You can, I know you can!" he whines. "Only you can breed me...please...stuff me with your cum. I promise I'll be a good mama...please?" he babbles, tears already falling from his pretty eyes and moving down on his cheeks.
[Name] stares at him in awe. Something inside of her also changing. All of a sudden, the idea of Kenji bearing her children wasn't so bad. She smiles, resuming her thrusts back on her boyfriend as she hovers over him. "Yeah? You want my cum so bad?"
Ken nods desperately, pouting. "Yeah"
"You'll be a good mama, Ken, I'm sure you will be" she assures, hips moving faster and harder, making Ken fall into the pillows once again. He calls out his girlfriend's name between cries, hugging on the pillow like it was gonna save him from the immense pleasure he was feeling and he couldn't control it.
"Cummin'...nngh, 'm cumming" he mumbles.
"Let's cum together, hmm?" she leaves a kiss on his neck.
Ken moans out loud as he shots his cum into the sheets, dirtying them with ropes and ropes of thick cum. [Name] makes the last thrusts a lot harder, grunting in Kenji's ear, as she had just emptied herself inside him. And Ken could feel it, he swear he could! His girlfriend's hot semen filling him up, it was only a question of time for him to be swollen with her babies! He can't help but smile at the simple thought.
She falls on top of Ken, on his back, and they stay like that for a good couple of minutes before [Name] decides to get up and start cleaning up. She leaves a kiss on Ken's back and neck, whispering lots of praises and "I love you"s.
"You feeling good?" she asks, smiling once Ken had moved onto his back on his own. He smiles up at her, resting a hand on his stomach.
"Better than ever" he replies, looking up at her with adoring eyes as she cleans him up with some wet wipes. "Thank you...for all of this" he suddenly speaks, making [Name] look up at him, finding Ken already looking at her like she's his world -and she, indeed, is-. "You made this the best birthday ever. I love you"
[Name]'s heart swells with love. Bending over, she peppers his face with lots of kisses, making Kenji gigle, and finally, she leaves one on his lip, but Ken grabs her from the neck and kisses her back, slowly and softly. They pull apart, and [Name] is also looking at him like he hangs stars in the night sky. "I love you more, and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself; I loved seeing you like that. We can do it any other day, if you want"
"Uh, yeah?" Ken scoffs. "That was mind-blowing, of course I wanna do it again!" he speaks with enthusiasm, and with a lot of energy for somebody that's been fucked for an hour.
"The neccesary amount of times that it would take me to get you pregnant?" she asks with a teasing tone, laughing her head off when she sees Kenji's expression.
"Oh my god...what did I say?"
After cleaning up the bed, the bath time was filled with laughter and embarrassed grunts from Kenji's part, his cheeks and ears red because of how embarrassed he was at the replays of what he had said. Though, he had to admit...it sounded hot.
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dreams-cynicism · 4 months
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Oh hell no
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clothedwthesun · 1 year
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what i hate most about the dynamic aziraphale and crowley have is the way people somehow always seem to interpret it as crowley loving him more than aziraphale loves him back. and it's sooo frustrating because yes crowley is more open and honest about how he feels but aziraphale shows it, reeks of it. literally one of the things that fuel his internal conflict is that he cares for and trusts and loves crowley so much that for the first time something actually rivals his devotion to heaven, so much that he agrees to the fucking arrangement because he trusts crowley more, so much that he doesn't even know where to put it or what to do with it or how to admit to it
every single time he "chooses heaven" it's because he's allowed himself to sink too deeply into this love and that's what springs the catholic guilt into action. the final scene isn't even aziraphale choosing heaven over crowley, but him saying i can make heaven good enough for you, and he's so fucking happy because he thinks he's finally found a loophole, and when crowley says no he literally thinks he's the one being rejected. quite literally the entire show is aziraphale trying to find a way around it and explain it away and make excuses but my brother in christ he loves him so much he can't even bear to face the magnitude of it
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Someone please give Jotaro a break
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beeg-bark · 6 months
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slightly obsessed with the idea of getting muzzled, partially for the kink and partially just for the uhhh symbolism. its the being restrained, being on a tight leash, the helplessness of not being able to fight back or get away from whatever they decide to do to you but its also the implications, being muzzled implies youre a dangerous animal, an attack dog, being muzzled implies that you can and will do damage, will pierce their skin, will tear them to shreds, and the fact that they're aware of that and taking those weapons away leaves you with such a delicious feeling of helplessness. just a dog on a chain, a wild animal backed into a corner that can't run and cant fight, its the being at the mercy of someone else, someone you know doesn't have your best interests at heart, its the fear and excitement of knowing that they could do anything to you and not knowing what they're going to choose
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mismess · 2 months
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Pinterest is insistent that I need a Man Cave and also is insistent that the Man Cave be a Blockbusters Video
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linnytheseagull · 3 months
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More classic literature YouTubers because it's so funny to me
Bonus content:
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mioakem · 2 months
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tom simons is literally ctommys biggest hater, like stop making fun of him he’s literally 4 years old and wants to kill himself
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keepscrollinghun · 11 months
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