#Kons a horse girl and there’s ponies

[salparadiselost]

My goal as a fanfiction author is to take the silliest au and give you the most serious feelings.

[aceb133]

Wholesome Week 2, Day 6: The Battle for Firebase Mewni

...This is what you guys had in mind for this prompt, right?  Right???

July 15th, 1968 Kon Tum Province, South Vietnam 1143 Local

Just five more minutes, Captain Steve “Pony Head” Slate thought. Five more minutes until he gave up waiting and flew off without her.

He checked his fuel gauge, his heart sinking into his stomach. He’d been circling this god-forsaken patch of jungle in his Air America Huey for nearly fifteen minutes now, and he was giving up hope his pickup would ever arrive. He grimaced as he scanned the treetops, knowing he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he left her behind-but if he didn’t act soon, he wouldn’t have a choice.

Beside him, his co-pilot, Lt. Tad Kelly, tapped the controls and hummed nervously. “You sure these are the right coordinates, Pony Head?”

“Well, they came straight from Ruberiot at the Castle, and he’s usually pretty accurate.” Slate said. “But then again, it’s the Agency, so I figure we’ve got about a 50/50 chance.”

He sighed. “I’ll give her a couple more minutes, then-“

“Hold on, I’ve got a visual on smoke!” Kelly shouted. Turning, Slate saw a thin column of red smoke rising from the jungle, and he felt an immense wave of relief. Tipping the helicopter forward, he dropped down into the clearing that had been designated by the LZ, and hovered over the grass.

A second later, a figure darted out from behind the trees and climbed on board, banging the roof. “Let’s go!”

Slate didn’t need the invitation, dipping the controls forward and leaning on the throttle. The Huey quickly leapt into the air in response, rising above the treetops and leaving the jungle behind.

Slate smiled as he turned and stole a glance at his passenger. Everything about her-from her heart-shaped tattoos on her cheeks, to her long blond hair tucked under her helmet, to the decorated purple and star-emblazoned CAR-15 she held, screamed the opposite of CIA operative. But if there was one thing Slate knew about Captain Star Butterfly, codenamed PRINCESS, it was never to underestimate her.

“Good to see you again, Princess!” Slate shouted over the roar of the rotors. “Mind telling us what’s going on?”

“Call me Princess again and I’ll toss you from this ‘chopper,” Star said, smirking. “But… ah, the hell with it, I’m gonna get right down to it: we’re going to Firebase Mewni.”

“Firebase Mewni?” Kelly asked. “Why the hell are we heading out there?”

“Ask Colonel Moon, they’re the one that recalled me.” Star replied. “The only information I have is that they expect an imminent attack by VC forces. Turns out Kẹo Bơ Cứng might be back.”

“Bơ Cứng?” Slate said incredulously, turning back to Star. “I thought you took him out back in Operation CASTLE. Isn’t Ludo the one in command of forces in that area now?”

Star shook her head. “Whatever we did, it wasn’t enough. Reports are scattered, but we received word from local agent BUFF FROG that Bơ Cứng’s subsumed Ludo’s leadership. At this point, all we can do is hope to get there first.”

Slate nodded. “Well don’t worry, we’re bookin’ it as fast as we can manage. Should we expect any friendly assets?”

“Major Johansen’s in command there, he should be shoring up their defenses as we speak.” Star said. “I’ve also got word from General Quỷ Sa Tăng that he’s personally driving in an entire mechanized battalion of ARVN, though lord knows if they’ll get there in time to help.”

Slate nodded. “What about that army captain you were working with, that Diaz guy? You think he might be able to provide any support?”

Star was silent for a moment in the back of the helicopter. “…I don’t think so,” she finally said.

Slate shook his head angrily for a moment, but decided to let the matter drop. He’d seen how Butterfly had looked at Diaz, in a way that she didn’t look at anybody else-and he’d seen how her heart had been broken when it turned out the good Captain already had a girl back home. But he knew Butterfly wasn’t the kind of woman who would put any man ahead of the mission. If she said Diaz and his company were in no position to assist, he believed her.

For the next twenty minutes, the trio sat in silence as the Huey raced over the green jungles and rolling hills of the Vietmanese highlands. It was at times like these, Slate thought, that you could almost trick yourself into thinking the nation wasn’t at war-and that if he’d wished, he could simply land the helicopter and lose himself in the tremendous natural beauty that surrounded them.

But, as he spied the contrails of a flight of B-52 bombers high above, he shook his head sadly. Though fantasy was one of the only escapes men like him had from the war, even daydreams had their limits.

“We’ve got about five minutes before we reach the base.” Kelly reported. Slate nodded, and, squinting, spied the firebase approaching over the horizon. Situated on one of the highest hills in the area, Firebase Mewni had been built above an old Vietmanese hamlet from which it had gotten its bastardized name. Under the dual command of Major River Johansen of the US Army’s 4th Infantry Division and Colonel Moon of the CIA, the base served as an Agency stronghold in the area for incursions into Cambodian and Laotian territory to disrupt Viet Cong operations. One of the most important outposts in the region, it had been attacked by both the NVA and the Viet Cong repeatedly before-but it had held each time, if only barely.

“Looks like the fighting’s already begun.” Kelly said, raising a hand to his helmet. In the distance, Slate was able to spy the distant flashes of artillery, and the occasional string of tracers.

“I think you’re right.” Slate said. “Okay, Star, this looks like it’s going to be a hot drop. I’m gonna need you to-“

Without warning, the jungle below them exploded with fire. The helicopter shuddered as a string of tracers chewed through the thin armor plating, and a series of warning lights immediately began to glow on the dashboard.

Gripping the controls, Slate watched helplessly as the oil pressure in his engine began to drop. “Come on, baby,” he whispered, “Just a little bit more. We just gotta go a bit farther.”

It was no use. The helicopter shuddered as the engine began to die, and the treetops of the jungle began to edge closer and closer.

“Hold on!” Slate shouted. “Brace for im-“

----------

Star groaned as she slowly drifted back into consciousness. For a moment, she thought she was back at Camp Echo, back with Marco, about to go on patrol…

Then, she remembered where she was, and her mind jolted back to the realm of the living.

Scrambling to stand up, she evaluated the situation as quickly as she could. She was on the edge of a wide jungle clearing, only a dozen yards away from the smoking hulk that had once been an Air America liveried Bell Model 204B. Miraculously, not only had Star survived the crash, but though her entire body hurt like hell, and her head felt as though someone had smacked her in the head with a frying pan, she hadn’t been seriously injured. Her ‘wand’, however, a specially modified CAR-15 that had been given to her personally by Colonel Moon, was nowhere to be found.

Unholstering and drawing her pistol, Star crept forward to the wreckage of the helicopter. The cartoon horse head painted on the door grinned at her as she approached, stained with dripping fuel, and Star held her breath as she got a closer look at the man in the pilot’s seat. That’s a lot of blood…

Miraculously, however, he, too, was still breathing-though as Star got closer, Star could tell that unlike her, he hadn’t managed to entirely avoid the hand of fate. Part of the helicopter’s control panel had been crushed inwards by the impact, and Slate’s left leg had been almost entirely severed above the knee.

“Princess?”  Slate said groggily. “Is that you?”

“Quiet, Pony Head.” Star hissed. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. Now come on, let’s get you out of there.”

Using her knife, Star slashed Slate’s restraints, and pulled him from the cockpit, trying not to look at where the wreckage had shorn through his leg. Laying him down against a nearby tree, she tore a strip of cloth from his shredded pants and used it to tie a tourniquet around his leg, praying he hadn’t lost as much blood as she believed he had.

“I should’ve stayed in the *cough* First Cav.” Slate said wearily. “Say, where’d Kelly? He make it out?”

Star ran back over to the helicopter and tried to see if she could spot Slate’s co-pilot. But, aside from the helmet he’d been wearing, a foliage-patterned infantry helmet with a pair of large googly eyes pasted to it, she could see no sign of him.

Suddenly, she heard a branch break.

Whipping around, she leveled her pistol at the jungle, her eyes darting all around as she tried to determine the source of the noise. It had been close-too close, and she didn’t believe in coincidences. Someone was here, and the only question was who would find the other first.

Biting her lip, Star looked back at the wounded Slate. Had she been by herself, the obvious solution would have been to run. As tough a fighter as she was, she knew the key to staying alive was fighting battles only on the ground she chose-and against an unknown number of enemies, in an area she knew nothing about, she wouldn’t have given herself good odds.

But, looking back at Slate, she knew she couldn’t leave a man behind.

Creeping backwards, she slowly disappeared into the foliage and dropped down to the ground. Cradling her pistol, she wondered if the helicopter’s radio still worked, and if it would be possible to call for help-but then, as a pair of Vietnamese guerillas appeared out of the jungle in front of her, she knew it was too late.

Breathing as softly as she could, Star watched the two approach the smoking wreck of the helicopter slowly, keeping their rifles raised. By the way they moved, Star could tell they were no peasant conscripts. These were veteran fighters, men who had undoubtedly spent years-possibly even decades-fighting to free their country. If she didn’t play this just right, Star knew, she and Slate were as good as dead.

As they approached the helicopter, one of them suddenly swung around and pointed his rifle in Slate’s direction. Tapping his comrade, he slowly moved forward, keeping his rifle trained on Slate’s body. The other kept his rifle up and slowly scanned the jungle around them, looking for any more survivors of the crash.

Star stayed as still as she possibly could, watching the Vietnamese soldier scan the underbrush. It was only a matter of time before he spotted her, she knew. What she needed was a distraction…

As carefully as she could, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her lighter. It was a classic Zippo, emblazoned with a little cartoon of a spider in a top hat. She smiled briefly as she held it, remembering how it had been a gift from Marco from shortly after she’d arrived at Camp Echo.

Then, lighting it, she lofted it as hard as she could at the helicopter, praying desperately that neither VC would see or hear the motion before the lighter could reach its target.

With a loud CLANG, the lighter knocked against the battered frame of the Huey. A second later, there was a bloom of fire as the lighter ignited the leaking avgas. Startled, both guerillas shouted in Vietnamese as the helicopter burst into flame, and that was all the opening Star needed. Leaping up out of the foliage, she fired her pistol at the first Guerilla, placing two shots directly into his back and sending him crashing to the ground. Shifting targets, she pulled the trigger again-only to be rewarded with a light click. Desperately, she tossed the weapon directly at the turning guerilla, distracting him momentarily as he leaned to dodge the improvised weapon. For Star, it was just enough-closing the distance, she grabbed the VC and tackled him to the ground, trying to wrestle his rifle from his grip. He had the strength, but she had the leverage-and, pushing her weight into the rifle, she was able to twist it away from the man. Before he could react, she flipped it around, found the trigger, and shot him twice.

Breathing heavily, she stood up, scanning the jungle once more. Then, to her horror, she saw a dozen figures emerging from the jungle on the opposite end of the clearing, their weapons raised. As soon as they saw her, they began firing, and Star had to scramble to run back to the treeline without getting hit. Falling to the ground, Star aimed the rifle and fired a trio of shots back at the approaching enemy squad. She knew, however, it was no use-there wasn’t enough ammo to take them all out, and even if there had been, there were a dozen of them, and only one of her.

Then, she heard the sound of rotors above the gunfire.

Out of nowhere, a Cobra attack helicopter flew out over the clearing, its chin-mounted gun blazing. Spinning around, the helicopter began to hover only a few dozen feet from Star, close enough for her to read the pilot’s names emblazoned on the cockpit-Dolittle and O’Durguson.

Across the clearing, the VC infantry rapidly began to retreat, firing sporadically at the attacking gunship. Then, a trio of Huey helicopters flew over the clearing, and one-proudly emblazoned with the screaming eagle of the 101st Airborne-dropped down, landing just a few yards away from the burning crash site.

Star stood up slowly, not believing her eyes as Captain Marco Diaz leapt out of the helicopter, his own rifle in hand. “Star? Is that you?”

“Marco!” Star shouted. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought your unit was rotating home!”

“After you left, we got word Firebase Mewni was under attack.” Marco replied. “We were about ten minutes from getting our flight home, but… I knew you’d be here, and I knew you’d need the help. I talked to everyone, and to a man, everyone volunteered to come back and help you fight.”

Star breathed in deeply, not believing what she was hearing. “Well, you sure came at a good time, Captain. I don’t know what the situation is at the base, but we would’ve been done for if you hadn’t shown up.” She turned to Slate, who groggily gave both of them a thumbs-up. “Can you get a Medevac up here?”

“It’s already on its way.” Marco replied. “Now climb aboard, we need to get back to the firebase before Bơ Cứng hits it again. Whatever he’s planning, we have to stop it.”

Nodding, Star marched up to the helicopter. Just as she stepped aboard, Marco spotted something against the ground, and picked it up. “Say, I believe this is yours.”

“I think you’re right.” Star said, gladly accepting her rifle from Marco. The purple bandanna wrapped around the stock had ripped, and the broken star was covered in dirt, but it looked to still be in working order.

“Alright,” she said, strapping herself in and banging her hand against the roof. “Let’s fly.”