#Kintsugi of the Heart

[mjulmjul]

Heart of gold

[tervaneula]

not quite kintsugi, but close

Chapter 13: A Hand In Need

It's not a very good day for Leonardo but his family is there for him, no matter what. And Donnie even has a surprise.

Well, two surprises.

-

WAHOO A NEW CHAPTER!!! I've been really excited to get to this part and finally we're here <3

[mother-lee]

[deadly-glamourtail]

Imperfect, Impermanent, Incomplete

what's with Korsica fanartists and getting really philosophical about hot faux-scottish lady

[lickthecowhappy]

Kintsugi

The art of repairing broken pottery with powdered gold, treating breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.

my heart is a teacup overflowing with warmth  honeyed brew spilling out profuse ebullient heat  a vessel for passion so grossly undersized thin fragile porcelain chipped and cracked and leaking held together only by the gold of your eyes

Read more of my work here. This poem also available on AO3.

[jokijuzu]

Kintsugi

[theslowestpoke]

I've been rewatching Supernatural lately, which means it's time for

SPN!au Teen Wolf

Stiles is a gruff, anxious mess, driving Roscoe down the road toward another backwater town with some suspicious activity, slapping his step-brother, Scott, every time he reaches over to change the radio station. He's trying to keep one eye on the road and one eye on the sleeping angel in the backseat - angels aren't supposed to need sleep - but Scott keeps giving him sympathetic glances, so he must not be doing a very good job. It's just... As nice as it is that Isaac is apparently back and sticking around for a while, he wasn't exactly in great shape when he burst into the library of the bunker yesterday and he hasn't been awake long enough to give them an explanation yet. Stiles drags a hand down his face and pulls into the next service station, grunting in thanks when Scott offers to run in and get the coffee this time. He waits until Scott's inside - already apparently charming the tired cashier with his friendly smile and floppy hair despite the hour - before snaking his hand between the front seats to jostle Isaac. It's definitely not endearing at all that Isaac grumbles a little to himself and curls closer to the window before opening one big blue eye at him and any thoughts to the contrary are getting shoved right down into the place he keeps all the other ones their dad would kill him for. In the backseat, Isaac smacks his lips together and sits up, face immediately serious despite the drool still drying on his cheek.

"Hello, Mieczysław."

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Fall Out Boy, Hum Hallelujah // Jet Pack Blues // Rat A Tat // Love From the Other Side

[faggotstump]

They should make more girls tbh

[socalledfreethinker]

life used to hurt so badly, all of the time.

and then it didn’t. life was so good and wonderful and all i could see were the positive things in life. years spent largely with people i loved and who loved me.

and now it hurts again. and it is lonely. and the world feels a little more awful every day.

but now i know.

the hurt went away last time, so it can go away again. just gotta be patient.

[feliciadraws]

B R O K E N

Inspired by that 'broken doll' trend I saw going round here a little while ago, and naturally I did a thing of it with Waka hehe, symbolism go brrr

[cherry-pop-soda]

words from your heart is an empty room by death cab for cutie

[tervaneula]

hi welcome to feelings town

[octarinespill]

Murmure - Kintsugi, 2024

[buggreawlthys]

"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." -Haldir

why is this sentence engraved on my soul

[peonierose]

Kintsugi

Book: Open Heart

Characters involved: Maxine Moore (F!OC), Luna Auclair (F!OC) and Adam Sinclair (M!OC)

Summary: Maxine deals with a difficult time. Thankfully Luna and Adam are there to help her face her difficulties. In the end ”Family don’t end with blood.“

TW: Deals with anxiety and depression.

Words: 3,000+

A/N: This was difficult to write about. But hopefully you’ll give the story a chance. It’s not all dark and angsty it has light moments too. As always thank you to anyone reading and sharing my stories it really means a lot to me 🩷

10 a.m.

Maxine

What do you do when you have a bad day? When your world is falling apart? For when you feel directionless? And your mind is spinning? Making you dizzy, thinking you’re going insane when in reality you have a bad day and your body and your mind are telling you that you need a break.

Remedy? You surround yourself with the people you love. And sometimes that isn’t close or immediate family. As Bobby Singer said on Supernatural “Family don’t end with blood.“

I close my eyes and breathe through my anxiety as lie in my bed, my cat Milagros next to me. Her purrs make goosebumps etch on my skin but it’s a sound that’s more comforting to me than anything. I let my fingers curl in her soft fur, angering me further, bringing me into the here and now.

When anxiety and depression hit you? You want to be surrounded by love, but not overwhelmed by it.

Before I can stop myself I pick up my phone from my nightstand and I’m dialing Luna’s number. “Lu? It’s me.“ My voice must sound as horrible as I feel right now.

“Maxi? What’s wrong?“ Her voice is instantly on alert.

I wring out a sob and her voice waters immediately.

“Babe. Tell me what’s wrong!“ She says her voice wobbly.

“I know I shouldn’t ask you since you’re pregnant and you’re almost due and you have so many other things on your plate but I need you. Do you think you could come over?“ I was not able to hold my cries in, some tears leaked into Milagros’s black fur. And she rubs her head against my face, her whiskers tickling me slightly.

Her green eyes glow and she purrs again showing me some love.

God never in my entire life was I more grateful to have found this little stray kitten outside my tattoo studio. She was malnourished and didn’t have a collar. Slowly I nursed her back to health and gained her trust.

Once I did I took her to the vet to get a check up and ever since then, we’ve been inseparable.

Luna's voice brings me back from my trip down memory lane.

“I know I shouldn’t ask you since you’re pregnant and you’re almost due and you have so many other things on your plate but I need you. Do you think you could come over?“

I was not able to hold my cries in, some tears leaked into Milagros’s black fur. And she rubs her head against my face, her whiskers tickling me slightly. Her green eyes glow and she purrs again showing me some love.

God never in my entire life was I more grateful to have found this little stray kitten outside my tattoo studio. She was malnourished and didn’t have a collar. Slowly I nursed her back to health and gained her trust. Once I did I took her to the vet to get a check up and ever since then, we’ve been inseparable.

Luna's voice brings me back from my trip down memory lane.

“Okay stay where you are, I'm coming over. I’ll bring your favorite snack.“ I can hear the smile in her voice, as she’s trying to lighten the mood.

I sigh and I can’t even laugh over her joke. As much as I want to.

“I just want my best friend sugarplum. No snacks needed.“ I say and immediately feel bad for saying that.

She must’ve picked up on my mood. While I try to relax a bit into my pillows.

“Before you apologize to me Maxi, remember it’s me you’re talking to. Your best friend. I’ve got you, babe. I’ll let Bryce drive me, he’s not working today.“ She assures me before I can feel that tight knot form in my stomach for relying on and asking for my friend's help.

I snuffle a little. Nodding, realizing with a start she can’t see my nod through the phone. And a small smile lifts the corners of my lips. Reminding me my lips could use some lip balm. I think there is a cherry-flavored one in the drawer of my nightstand.

“Thanks Lunes. I know it's asking a lot, but I appreciate it more than I can say.“ I am not able to talk more than the words that have left my mouth.

“Of course I love you and I want to be there for you when you’re going through a bad time. I’ll be right there.“

She says and we hang up.

It’s days like these that I appreciate all my friends and family for living so close by. They’re here within a quick phone call.

I must’ve fallen asleep because I heard knocking on my door. I get out of bed and take a second to just take a moment to breathe and collect myself. I know I don’t have to hide or put up a font with Luna. She’s seen me at my best and at my worst and vice versa. That’s why I love her like a sister.

We’ve got each other's back.

I walk through the hallway to unlock the door, not even checking who it is. But since I’m expecting Luna it can be only her on the other side. I open the door and see Adam standing outside my door. With a rueful smile on his gorgeous lips.

“Adam? What are you doing here? not that I’m not happy to see you.“ I ask still in my sleep haze, rubbing my eyes. Trying to make sure I’m not seeing a mirage. Scared my Brian conjured him because I wanted him to be here.

His smile falters a little when he sees me. I know what I must look like in his eyes. Messy hair, and purple shadows under my eyes. Lost a bit of my usual vibrancy in my eyes. I don’t think I even brushed my teeth this morning.

For a second I feel ashamed that this is the image I present to the guy I shared a kiss with, whom I went on two dates with. What must he think of me?

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d check on you. Can I come in?“

He asks, clutching my favorite flowers. A beautiful flower arrangement, with pink hibiscuses and other smaller flowers woven into, with the small that says ”Orchids Paradise“. He must’ve stopped by my favorite flower shop. It’s owned by Luna‘s dad Brian. He makes some of the most beautiful flower arrangements.

He seems unsure if I’d let him in and I’m debating if I should.

How am I going to explain what the fuck is going on when I don’t know myself? I feel my control slipping. My heart beats faster and my breath is coming in short breaths.

My hands start to sweat and I rub them on my pjs. I realize with a jolt I’m still in my PJs. Oh god. But fuck it. It is what it is, I will not apologize for greeting him at the door wearing my PJs.

“Maxi? Are you okay? Look, you don’t have to explain anything. I can tell you have a really hard time right now.“

He says softly.

“Why because of the way I look?“ I say shaper than I intended and wish I could take the sharpness away.

I rub my clammy hands over my face and just want to slide down onto the floor and cry and scream at the same time. Suddenly I can feel Adam's warm and calloused hands on my own who are still clutching my face.

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Because I see a strong beautiful woman. I see a fighter. I see someone that I care so damn much about who is struggling and I don’t know how to help you.“

He put my hands onto his chest and I just fell into his arms without meaning to. But it’s safe, comfortable and it’s Adam. He smells like wood, a warm summer evening, and oranges. In short, he smells like home to me.

“If you need to vent or scream, don't hold back. I would never judge you.“ He says and I nod, not able to form words. To feel this level of comfort? It can’t be measured in gold.

This is one of the reasons why therapy hasn’t worked for me. I can’t open up the way I can with friends. And so that’s what I do, when I struggle I know I have a support system I can fall back onto.

So that’s what I do. I just let out all of my tears, all my anger and frustration and sadness, and let the tears wash me clean from the emotions that I’ve bottled up for so long.

After a couple of shuddering breaths, I wipe my eyes and am embarrassed because I’ve soaked his dark olive shirt with my tears and probably even snot.

Before I can say how sorry I am for ruining his shirt he tips my chin up and I see only understanding and comfort shining in his deep blue eyes. It makes me smile a little.

“If you’re wondering about the shirt. Fuck it, it’s only a shirt. Helping someone you care about is a lot more important than a stupid shirt.“ He says and wipes an errant tear from my face.

“Am I that transparent?“ I ask aloud wondering if I’m that easy to read. I always thought it was hard to figure out what I was feeling.

Then I backtrack and look at him. His blond hair is in a messy bun and his eyes shine with an emotion that I don’t feel comfortable naming yet. I know it's love, but right now? I can’t focus on that. It’s not that I don’t have feelings, I‘m scared to say I love him too because I haven’t figured out how much I love him.

“Wait. You’ve never cursed in front of me, since I’ve known you.“ I voice my opinion out loud.

“I’m a man of many surprises.“ He grins mischievously at me. And that smile? It just does me in.

Before I’m fully aware of what I’m doing I get on my tip toes and press my lips against his. I can tell he’s surprised as he didn’t see it coming that I’d kiss him, not after I had a cry session against his shirt and very defined muscles just a minute ago.

But soon he relaxes against me and puts his hand on my neck to tilt my head to deepen the kiss. A kiss can be erotic, sinful, or sexy. But it can also be nurturing, caring, soothing, and give comfort.

It’s a mix of sexy, sweet, and soothing. When we come up for air, we just smile and stare at each other.

The spell is broken when we hear a car door slam shut outside. And I remember that Luna was coming.

Looks as if it took her longer to get here. It’s almost as if it‘s Kismet that Adam showed up to help me through a really bad time. And I’m glad he showed up when he did.

“Are you expecting anyone else?“ Adam asks when he hears the front door open and a loud exhale of breath.

We look down and see Luna with some bags.

Adam smiles softly.

“Need any help carrying those bags?“

Adam offered.

Luna squeaked like a mouse and looked up from downstairs.

”Oh yeah thanks for almost making my heart stop.“ She exhales and leans on a banister.

And I instantly felt bad. She came because I asked her. And in her late pregnancy she shouldn’t overexert herself too much. But I shouldn’t have worried because Luna looked up again and her smile became as sly as a fox.

”Am I interrupting something?“ Luna asked looking between us. I feel my cheeks heat and drag my hand through my hair.

That’s when he realized he’s still carrying the flower bouquet. Amid the kiss we both forgot about it.

”Oh these are for you. I thought something pink would cheer you up and I know hibiscuses are your favorite.“ He says handing me the bouquet.

”Thank you, these are beautiful.“

He nods and helps with the bags Luna brought in.

”No. Let us help you with those bags.“ I offer but Adam squeezes my elbow and shakes his head at me.

Luna stands next to me, sees the pink flower bouquet I‘m holding, and just winks at me. I sigh, I know she’ll ask me later. But it’s also a comfort to know she’ll be asking me, which makes my lips turn up a little at the corners.

Adam carries the bags inside my apartment and looks back at me once he’s inside.

”Where do you want the bags?“ He gestures to the bags he’s carrying.

”The counter in the kitchen is fine.“ I replied.

Luna walked inside before me and as soon as we were inside she beelined for me and we embraced each other. Both of us feel the effects of Ohana.

For some people, it might sound strange. But we both struggle with the same things sometimes so we’re each other's support system.

Luna holds me at arm's length to give me a good once-over.

”Still pretty and strong. Remember we all love you. And we’re all here for you. Okay?“ She caresses my cheek. And I nodded, tears coming out of my eyes. And Luna wipes them away gently.

Adam clears his throat.

”I...uhh...feel like this is your bonding time. And I don’t want to interrupt it. I’ll call you later, Maxi.“ He says and I nod.

Luna grinned at us and went to the kitchen counter to get the items out of the bags. Giving me and Adam some privacy.

He grinned and kissed me one more time before he said he’d call me later and walked out the door, closing the door on his way out.

The door just shut and Luna walked over not trying to hide her grin and I just sighed knowing what came next.

”Spill. Please. I am dying over here. I was so tempted to look over my shoulder to see the kiss. It was sweet and hot right?“ She bites her bottom lip, not able to contain her excitement.

”How do you know what we did?“ I asked her.

Luna produces a compact mirror. I snort at her little trick but have to give her points for creativity.

”I should’ve known.“ I put my arm around her shoulder and we slowly walked towards the kitchen. Luna grinned at me.

”Looks like there was some sexual healing involved.“

”You’re spending way too much time with Lahela.“

”That‘s true. But you’re also not denying it. So that means that Adam came here and kissed you and now you’re feeling a bit better.“

I just smiled. The worry and anxiety aren’t completely gone out of my eyes but it lessened a bit. I open the fridge and let Luna assemble whatever it is she’s doing and get us some homemade hibiscus tea out of the fridge.

”How did you convince Bryce to let you carry that on your own?“

I pour us two glasses and hand her one. She took a big gulp and answered me.

”With my cooking skills and telling him I’m my own woman and I can carry some stuff. Also that he’d spend the night on the couch.“

”Yeah that probably got him moving. So what have you planned there, sugarplum?“

I ask, pointing to dozens of bowls, some clay, and gold powder. As well an array of brushes.

”It’s called Kintsugi. Instead of throwing bowls or other pottery away after it breaks, Japanese practice or even tradition is that they mend the broken pieces with golden paint. Which highlights and enhances the breaks in the pottery and creates beautiful art pieces.“

She continues undeterred.

”Don’t worry, I made sure that the urushi lacquer is safe to use. Meaning that later you’ll be able to put food into your bowls.“ I lean against the counter.

”How did you come up with this idea?“ She smiled gently at me.

”Honestly? I felt like it spoke to me. Anxiety and depression do make you feel weak or like you can’t do anything right. Or as if you’re broken. I read somewhere how your imperfections make you more beautiful. But once you heal or have people who love you that are there for you? Something heals. And I felt as if Kintsugi is just like that.“

I raised my eyebrows.

”Okay. So we’re supposed to do what? Just smash the bowls onto the floor? Isn’t Kintsugi supposed to be if it accidentally falls and shatters and you’re then supposed to repair it?“ I asked and Luna shrugged.

”Well I do see your point, but I think we can make an exception in this case.“

I‘m still skeptical when I see her take a bowl and smash it onto the floor.

”Damn Lu, warn me next time.“

”Well I did say we have to smash them just like this...so technically you were warned.“ Luna grins at me.

She gives me some gloves and I pick up the parts of the smashed bowl from the floor since Lunes can’t exactly bend down herself.

My cat Milagros who’s been wandering around hissed and disappeared. Can’t blame her. I got a quick scare too when the bowl hit the floor.

”Looks like Milagors is not a fan.“ I say and put the parts onto the kitchen counter. Luna grins and hands me another bowl.

”Come on, it's cathartic. We‘re going to cathart so hard.“

I smile reluctantly and smash the bowl onto the floor. And I have to say it felt good.

”Okay this wasn’t half bad.“

Then she smashed another bowl down onto the floor.

”See? I was right.“ She wiggled her eyebrows.

”Okay smart ass don’t be smug.“ I said and she laughed out loud with tears coming out of her eyes.

After we smashed a good portion of the bowls we put them onto the kitchen counter. We have epoxy, small brushes, urushi lacquer the bowls, and a small plate to mix the powdered golden paint onto.

We apply the mixture to the bowls and put them on old magazines and newspapers I don’t need anymore. Now we need to let them dry.

I put my arm around Luna and we grin proudly at each other.

”Good job Auclair.“ I grin.

”Likewise Moore.“

We high-five each other just as one of the bowls slips and we burst out laughing.

”Well we have six more bowls. One of them will hold together.“

We both nod.

The next day...

I‘m sitting at Luna’s kitchen counter while we have some late lunch and she leans over as much as her belly allows.

”You’ll never guess what happened.“

She whispered. I set down my fork piled with lettuce and a strawberry.

”If it involves you and Bryce being naked, then no I don’t want to know what happened. I’m your best friend, but even I draw the line at naked stories.“

Luna rolls her blue-green eyes.

”It wasn’t anything like that I promise.“

”Okay go on.“ I pick up my fork again.

”I saw Bryce reading and making breakfast this morning.“

”And how’s that weird?“

”He was listening to Donna Summer‘s song Hot Stuff. He was singing and dancing to it. Surprisingly he’s got a very beautiful voice.“

”Shut up. Really? No way.“ I finished chewing before I replied.

Luna nods.

”Apparently it’s his favorite song. It must be a guilty pleasure song of his.“

I grin slowly.

”Oh the blackmail material keeps piling up. I love it.“

”Right? You know Christmas is coming up. Why don’t you give him a let’s say vinyl record of Donna Summer’s greatest hits.“ Luna‘s glow with mischief.

”You’re such an evil little person. I’m so in. Maybe we can even get it signed.“ I ponder over that for a second.

”It can even say ”To my biggest fan, love D.“

I say out loud while Luna laughs so hard the juice she drank almost comes sloshing out of her nose.

”Oh my god I’d pay money to see his reaction. Maybe we can swing this.“

Luna says after her laughter has quieted down.

We both grin and keep on talking and spending a few glorious hours in the sunshine together.

Always remember times can be tough. Sometimes they can be hopeless or unbearable. But as long as you have people you love who love you unconditionally? Who supports you? You’re never alone. Remember that.