#Kingo being a lovable idiot

[eternalowl]

Eternals incorrect quotes part five, but with a special appearance of Dane

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Thena, at the slightest provocation: FIGHT ME YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH-

Kingo: I am going to Cobra Kai this.

Ajak: How come that everywhere I go, the ducks come to me?

Ajak: Everywhere I go, there is a rubber duck or a real duck or both-

Phastos: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT PLANETS CAN’T GET PREGNANT-

Sprite: I don’t know you and I don’t trust you, sO FUCK OFF-

Sprite, singing: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart~

Sprite, angrily screaming: AND THE VERY NEXT DAY, YOU RIPPED IT TO SHREDS-

Ikaris: *approaches Druig*

Druig: Shut up!

Ikaris: I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING???

Ikaris, after ranting about how stubborn Thena is: Why do I hear boss music?

Thena, in the distance: I heard that you were talking shit and you didn’t think that I would hear it.

Ikaris: Why? Why me?

Druig, popping out of nowhere: bECAUSE OF ME-

Gilgamesh: We have ways for making you talk.

Gilgamesh: *cuts a slice of cake*

Druig: Can I have some?

Thena: Cake is for talkers.

Thena: Anyone who would even dare to hurt Gilgamesh is a person I’d murder on sight.

Ikaris: Well, I’m about to drown my sorrows in some wine. Thena, you want some?

Thena: Sure.

Ikaris: Get your own.

Thena, casually: Choke and die.

Kingo, whispering to Sersi: Siblings, am I right?

Druig: *is pouring syrup on some pancakes*

Kingo: BLOWS UP PANCAKES WITH MIND

Druig: my fucking pANCA-

Ajak, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was queen of the ducks.

Sprite: I would, but then I would be lying to the Queen of All Ducks.

Phastos: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Makkari: Oh, we've had worse.

Ajak: Love makes people do stupid things.

Kingo: I love everything!

Ikaris: That explains a lot.

Druig: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Ajak: Did Gilgamesh catch you trying to steal his food before it was done again?

Ikaris: Real life should have a fuckin search function, or something.

Ikaris: I need my fuckin socks.

Ikaris: Can I have some water?

Druig: *starts chugging his water bottle*

Druig: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Druig: *spills water all over himself*

Druig, coughing: I don't have any water.

Thena, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick!

Makkari: Moose Tracks is good!

Kingo: What the fuck is that!?

Makkari: How dare you insult moo-

Kingo: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.

Thena and Makkari: what?

Kingo: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?

Thena: Are you done now?

Kingo: Yeah ok.

Thena and Makkari: ...

Kingo: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

Thena: Don’t worry. I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

Dane: …Do you mean cards?

The other Eternals: She did not.

Thena, pulling several knives out of her sleeve: I did not.

Ajak: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Ikaris: What the- you can’t be here. You died. I literally saw you die.

Ajak: Death is a social construct created by the humans.

Sprite: Can we go out and get ice cream?

Sersi: Did you ask Ajak?

Sprite: She said no.

Sersi: Then why are you asking me?

Sprite: She’s not the boss of you.

Sersi, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a traP-

Druig: I’m so tired. I give up.

Sersi: GET THE EMERGENCY SUPPLY!

Ikaris: *carries Makkari and places her in front of Druig*

Makkari: *smiles*

Druig: AaaaAAAAAAAAND I’M BACK. LET’S GOOOO-

Phastos: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Phastos: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Druig: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Phastos: The only one that will work when I have to deal with you idiots.

Ajak: Slash game mode creative.

Sersi: Ajak, this isn’t Minecra-

Ajak: *starts levitating*

Kingo: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Thena: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

Makkari: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Kingo: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing and fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Kingo.

Ikaris: But you're Kingo.

Kingo: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

Phastos: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Druig: You left me and the others in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Phastos: I did that on purpose, try again.

*While the Eternals are in a battle*

Thena, trying to warn about the location of a Deviant: To the left!

Kingo: Take it back now y'all!

Sersi: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Kingo meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Kingo: It’s locked. Any of you got a lock pick?

Sprite: Yeah-

Thena: *kicks in the door*

Sersi: Why are you on fire?

Makkari: This is just how my day is going.

Thena: I’m a reverse necromancer.

Gilgamesh: Isn’t that just killing people?

Thena: Ah, technically.

Druig: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Phastos: Did Makkari say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Druig: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

Kingo: Guess what I'm about to get!

Thena: On my nerves.

Ajak: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Makkari: Watcha doin?

Sersi: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.

Makkari: Scandalous.

Makkari: Can I help?

Sprite: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Sprite, texting Kingo: Kingo there’s a giant moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Sprite: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Sprite: Kingo

Sprite: Kingo

Kingo: Kingo is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Makkari: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and I feel like that’s more accurate.