#Kinger x nori

[distantmaniacallaugh]

KINGER WOULD BANG UZIS MOM 3AM UPDATE

It’s three in the morning and I’m thinking about fucking. Norking. Kinger x Uzis mom. I’m. I’ve reached a new low

FACTS about this godforsaken crossover au idea I have now:

Everything happens because Jax accidentally causes a singularity by telling Caine to divide 0 by 69

the resulting explosion blasts the computer they’re in into space

it somehow lands on murder drones planet

Uzis mom finds it and Kinger just. pops out or something

Uzi immediately likes Kinger because he’s genuinely interested in that gun she built

Kinger gives N exactly one scrap of validation, pats him on the head, and N is like “gee gosh thanks sir!” He cries later.

Uzis mom complains about her lack of mobility as a crab thing, Kinger consistently shows sympathy and she’s like. What the fuck. You’re weird. What are you doing stop that. Meanwhile Kingers just like ???’:] ???

kinger ends up repairing her at some point. He’s very gentle, of course. Uzis mom has literally no idea what to do with this.

she doesn’t ask what his name is for. Literal weeks.

forced proximity because they’re trying to fix the computer to get the rest of the cast out?? Uzi tries to help?? Unsuccessfully??

why am I giving this. Plot

oh god

kinger opens up about missing his human body at one point and Uzis mom is just like. You’re a what now.

Kingers like yup. I was human before this. It was nice, I think. I really miss having bones. (She’s reaching for a gun)

He and Kahn play cards together

Kahn is like. Listen. you just treat my wife good now. I failed her and she deserves better than me and I see that but you better treat her right because I sure couldn’t.

Kinger immediately tries to comfort him and shares about his own wife, thinking Khans like, blaming himself for losing her in the first place, when in reality he was just. A coward

Kahn, a coward, never corrects him

They don’t like, wall-e kiss at any point. He ends up falling asleep holding her, and she’s like.,,,,emotions,,,other than..,rage…,oh my god,,,,..,,..

uzi supports all of this and takes bets on when her mom will fuck the weird chess guy. Thad is winning

Kinger teaches Thad how to shoot firearms

he chess-shuffles into a blizzard at one point looking for parts, Uzis mom has to rescue him and give him this full pep talk on how he should get his shit together. And he’s like. I would if I could ma’am (he calls her ma’am because he’s scared of her) (as he should be)

The size difference is enough he can literally hold her in the palm of his hand and that’s a WAY cuter mental image than it should be, what’s HAPPENING to me

Kinger has a full on crisis when he realizes he likes her romantically. And chess shuffles into a blizzard. Again.

Queenie pulls a mufasa lion king apparition from beyond the grave to tell him it’s ok to bang Uzis mom

Kingers like staring up into the sky with icicles hanging off him and just goes *voicecrack* “OkAy!1”

“How would you like being stuck in a hunk of garbage like this!? It’s disgusting!”

“Huh?? I don’t think you’re disgusting at all!”

“Oh come on! You literally wipe down the keyboard every time you use it, and every time you touch me you get oil all over your stupid gloves— just admit you feel bad for me and get on with it!”

if I write any more dialogue this is ending up on ao3

IF I HAVE TO WRITE A 40K ABOUT KINGER BANGING UZIS MOM. I AM GOING TO DIE. GOOSNIGHT

[evanostic]

i wanted to draw like 5 different artworks but time said NOPE

[wheezecheese]

You’ve given me the worst idea ever.

[distantmaniacallaugh]

I MADE ART FOR NORKING (kinger x Uzis mom)

I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF. ITS YOUR JOB AS THE AUDIENCE TO EITHER CHANGE THAT OR ENDURE MORE

She’s entranced by his hot dad bod. He’s entranced by her murderous intent. A tale as old as time. Also Queenie has two hands