#Kinda reminds me when I blamed my sister for my hand being hurt cause it was her idea that caused it and she blamed herself as well

[raemeh]

You guys are lucky I like lark cause if I didn’t I’d actively be bringing him up anytime someone hated on sparrow

[ssreeder]

mmk letting you know I’m alive

even though I’m still lowkey sick??!?! sick under situations of duress (ie my sister sat on me like I was a GODDAMN HORSE and induced a coughing fit despite me thinking I was recovered) (my sister is not a small sister though, my sister is 21 and Tall so maybe coughing was a reasonable bodily reaction idk)

anyways suki thoughts: I would literally be devastated if I were her and the boy I liked appeared to reciprocate my feelings and then I found out that not only did he FULLY LIE TO ME ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING but also was actually interested in somebody else. I would not have been the bigger person that suki was I would’ve told sokka to go fuck himself and then gone off to wallow and shit talk him with the girlies.

but then again when the katara lying to zuko about being sokka sitch went down I wouldn’t have hesitated to pretend like she did so… maybe I’m just a bad person. (jokes, I totally think suki was valid for her response and I actually think it was an insanely emotionally mature response???? like being emotionally mature is about recognising your emotions and reacting appropriately so you don’t hurt others in the process unnecessarily, NOT ignoring your emotions/not having them to begin with so you can always put the feelings of others before your own and have the “ideal” reaction… not to be too deep about this AND I DONT THINK PEOPLE MEANT IT TO COME ACROSS LIKE THIS but it also makes me feel kinda iffy about the fact that suki a teenage girl is being criticised for letting her own valid emotions get in the way of her assisting sokka a boy through his trauma.. kinda giving women expected to perform emotional labour for men all the time…….. OBVIOUSLY A LOT OF THIS SENTIMENTALITY IS BC WE KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD SOKKA HAS IT AND HOW ITS THE TRAUMA THATS CAUSED HIM TO BEHAVE THIS WAY but it’s still not sukis job to “fix him” especially as a priority to her own well-being. and idk it makes me think about whether the reaction would be the same if the situation were reversed. MAYBE IT WOULD BE !! sorry I just have a lot of thoughts about arbitrary expectations regarding traditional gender roles T-T)

anyways this was supposed to be a short ask to let you know I’m alive and once again it got out of hand. SMASHING YOUR LIGHTBULBS *mwah*

~also I’ll share my iroh theories next chappie reaction REMIND ME TO DO IT I CANT FORGET SREEDIE PLS I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS~

LEEEEEEEEKKKKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

hi.

Ok you had better not still be sick or like WTF. you need a dr.

Hahaha - the way you rationally state the facts of the situation between Sokka & Suki is so funny because you actually bring up a lot of great points & you do it with so much flare.

Is Suki responsible for catering to Sokkas emotional reaction to his trauma by being overly understanding and making justifications for what he did?

Should Suki have stayed and allowed Sokka to drag her back into a situation that made her emotional and uncomfortable?

Should Sokka have accountability for his actions & not be allowed to blame his trauma for hurting sukis feelings? Or was he justified for what he did because he is obviously in a bad place and we know how mentally fucked he is right now?

Is Sokka or Suki responsible for the others emotional well being in any capacity if they are just friends? & how far should they be willing to go? At what level does it become too emotionally draining and toxic?

I DONT KNOW LEEKIE,,, I JUST DONT KNOW!! I love how you look at gender roles and I think the situation is interpreted differently by each individual who looks at it based on how they would react and the expectations they have for characters to perform a certain way.

I love complex situations & how many different right & wrong ways it can go…. Hehehe *skips happily*

[cynettic]

Hello! Can you do Kaeya x reader who’s Xiaos sister and kinda looks like him. 💖

Summary - Kaeya falls in love with S/O who he can show his vulnerabilities too, he wasn't aware of the temperamental sibling they had.

Pairings - Adeptus!Reader x Kaeya

Warnings - N/A

Penpal - Ahhh- tysm for the request, I fell in love with the hc after a bit. I hope you don't mind that I made the reader an adeptus, its just easier cause its Xiao's sister.

Me, and My Menace of a Brother

Kaeya is a flirt.

Everyone in Monstadt knows this, most ladies ( his attractiveness doesnt escape men either- ) become enamoured with him, even for a short period of time. Oh to date Kaeya, to be the one he lulls to sleep or the one he presses to his chest just to whisper soft little things into your ear.

But there's sides to him that Monstadt doesnt see, sides that he doesn't want others to see. Yet its you that lends him a shoulder when guiding him back to his apartment when he’s all drunk. Its you that has countlessly saved his ass when a mitachurl or two has caught him by surprise. Its you that takes him into your arms when unwanted tears fall from numb eyes.

He loves you.

Fated stranger who ventured into Monstadt and stole his heart, he blames you immensely for it. He expects you to take responsibility.

It isnt his facade that makes you fall in love for him. The window and his title as ‘Cavalry Captain’ are just added bonuses.

No, its the vulnerability he is capable of showing you.

Growing up with the excuse of an emo depressing brother has rubbed off on you in the worst ways. You love Xiao of course, care about him to bits. But boy can he get aggravating, especially when he shuts everyone out and refuses with his very being to let anyone in. Even you, someone who’s stood alongside him for as long as he’s lived isnt allowed to see him vulnerable.

“So persistent,” Kaeya mumbled, his hand treading along your scalp and brushing away locks of hair. “If I speak of what goes on in my mind, I trust you’ll do the same?”

An easy tip to even begin to start your venture into Kaeyas heart.

Dont lie to him. Ever.

Something easily applicable for you, which is why he trusts you the way he does. At the beginning of the relationship, he doesnt speak of his past and neither do you. Its you who has to open up first, voicing your worry because you are an adeptus. Someone who has lived decades and centuries more than him, you’re born a fighter, a protector.

Kaeya loves that.

He loves you.

“Protector of Liyue hmm-?” He hums when you press a chaste kiss to his forehead. “No wonder you manage to tackle any hilichurl that takes you on. Archons, I’ve seen you take down Ruin Guards with ease.”

A smile adorns your face when hearing his words, fingers locking with his as you lay on the couch. ‘Of course,” was your sole answer. You didn't find your strength exceptional, Xiao could do better if he really tried.

“My protector?” Kaeya whispered into your ear, his teasing tone tickling the hairs on your neck.

You hummed in reply, “It seems I have the urge to defend ones who need saving as well.” When you heard the audible dramatic gasp from him, you chuckled, leaning further into him. “Nothing to be ashamed about, protecting you is a way of expressing my love.”

At this his eyes softened, gaze never leaving your face. “I’m always here to protect you too,” was his only reply. “Please, rely on me.” Tone soft and vulnerable, you wanted to hold him in your arms for an eternity of time. “I’ll be here for you, always.”

But an eternity was a great long stretch of time. “Meet my brother,” was your only reply. “I want to stay with you, ‘always’ as you put it. But my brother expects my return, and…” You’d lived for centuries, yet the thought of introducing your boyfriend to Xiao still sent shivers down your spine. “I think its important you both meet.”

Of course he said yes.

Getting a few weeks off from Jean wasn't a hard wall to conquer, especially when it came to you. You’d formed friendships and relations in Monstadt with most of the civilians, especially the adventurers and the knights. Helping when it came to terms of fighting and such.

It only took a day to reach the Inn Xiao and you had been residing in for the past few decades. Kaeya had explored far before, so the scenery change wasn't much of a surprise.

Xiao greeted you before you and Kaeya even entered to meet Verr. You were only gone for a few months, so of course your brother hadn't changed in the slightest.

“You both look shockingly similar.”

To say Xiao was unhappy when learning of the relationship between you two was barely touching it.

He was livid.

The twisted smile on his face reminded you of the one he’d made countless times after a dear ones death. A facade, just like the one Kaeya had put on. Except that you werent capable of breaking past it. “A mortal?” Your brother asked instead, venom dripping off his tone. “I expected more from you, sister.”

You simply rolled your eyes, walking past him with Kaeya and making a show out of pressing down on his foot. Hard. “I have a list of expectations too,” was your response. “Have you visited Jueyun Karst like I asked you to? Like you promised to, brother?”

He only scoffed, turning on his heel and storming away.

“Lovely,” Kaeya mumbled.

“He’ll come around, trust me.”

Eventually, Xiao has to. Kaeya and you are renting out a room at the Inn, and with you showing the Cavalry Captain around Lisha and Liyue Ports, Xiao is bound to see you. Or maybe he’s just tailing you both to make sure Kaeya’s treating you right.

He’s not worried about you being in any danger, he knows you can take care of yourself perfectly well. But you’ve both been emotionally hurt during the past centuries, he doesnt want some mortal man taking advantage of that.

But you look happy.

Xiao supposes he can make a little effort to get along with your boyfriend.

And so one night, when both you and Kaeya are cleaning the room and putting on some bedwear to go to sleep, Xiao shows up at your window. “Come with me,” he tells Kaeya.

You dont see either of them till morning.

But when you do, the awkward tension that was there is gone, and Xiao seems a tad bit relieved. The smallest slouch in his shoulders is gone, Kaeya having an arm looped around his shoulder and making a joke. It makes you smile, to think that Kaeya could be something good for Xiao too.

Xiao never poses an issue with you and your boyfriend after that, even going far enough to ask when he’s coming back to Liyue to visit.

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[1025cherrystreet]

New Home for the Holidays!

happy holidays! and merry christmas to whoever celebrates it!! <3

disclaimer: kinda scared ngl, this is my first piece of writing i’m putting on tumblr. i usually use wattpad (my username is the same it is here if you wanna follow me!), so i’m still learning how to do this lmao. hope you like it! any feedback is appreciated!!!

also... i didn’t really proofread this bc i got impatient and wanted to post it before christmas lol :)

warnings: none, just fluff ;)

gf!y/n spends christmas with harry and his family.

You hear the faint chime of the doorbell ringing from inside the house as you nervously pick at your fingers down at your side. Harry notices the small action, quickly taking your hand to intertwine with his, shooting you a small smile in hopes to calm your nerves.

And it does. For a moment. Until the door swings open and Anne appears on the other side. What finally does put your anxiety to rest is the big, warm hug she pulls you into, a splitting grin adorning her face. You chuckle in surprise (mostly at the fact she hugged you first and not her own son), but return the kind action, nonetheless.

"Oh my gosh! Y/N, my dear, you look gorgeous as always!" She says pulling back just enough to look at your face.

"Thank you! You're looking quite good yourself, Mrs. Twist." You return either a kind smile.

"Oh, none of that. I've told you before, call me Anne," She looks at you with a knowing and playful scowl, waving you off.

"Wow, hello to you too mum," Harry mutters from next to you, plastering a fake pout on his lips.

She softly scoffs, releasing her hold on you and moving to embrace her son.

"You look gorgeous too, Harry. Is that what you wanted to hear?" She jokes, the familiar smirk she holds reminds you of the one your boyfriend pulls so frequently.

When they release from their tight squeeze, Anne steps inside and holds the door open before speaking.

"Well... Don't want you two to freeze out there, come in! I was just fixing a cuppa,"

The warmth of her home heats your frozen fingertips as you enter and your glad to be out of the snow. You love the snow, but since growing up not experiencing it often where you lived makes it a little hard to bear in times like these. You couldn't remember many times you've had a white Christmas before (probably could count on one hand, if your honest), but you've always remembered them being the best ones.

You've always loved the holidays. You loved the cold weather and the time with family. You loved you're yearly family tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve night and taking a picture on the staircase in your childhood home the next morning. You loved making hot chocolate and watching you're family open the presents you got them.

You loved the holidays. But, what you love more than anything, is that this year you get to spend them with Harry.

You've been dating for two years now, but last Christmas, you spent it with your own family, as did he, because it was a bit too soon in y'all's relationship to make that step. However, this year Harry extended the invitation for you to join them and after talking with your parents (and your brother, albeit he didn't care one bit) you accepted the invite. Of course, not without making sure you wouldn't be imposing at all. And with Harry's reassuring words of, wouldn't have asked if we all didn't want you there, and besides, baby, it wouldn't be Christmas without all my loved ones, would it?, you started packing for London.

Harry shrugs off his coat as you both stand in the foyer and you follow suit as a voice shouts from the kitchen.

"Are they here?" A familiar sister calls out excitedly.

You and Harry enter the kitchen and he's immediately pulling Gemma into a bear hug. You look at the sight and smile fondly, noticing her boyfriend, Michal, behind them, but not before worrying for Gemma's breath support as Harry noticeably squeezes tighter.

They let go of each other and she playfully scowls at him, swatting his arm. To which Harry dramatically holds his arm, draining an, ow, that hurt!, receiving an eye roll from Gemma before Harry moves to greet Michal, and his stepdad, Robin.

"Hi, Y/N! It's so great to see you, feels like it's been ages," She greets you in turn, having enough of Harry's antics already. You return the greeting, along with the one to Michal and Robin, and before you know it, you're all deep into conversation.

Harry takes up spot right on your side like a leech. If you were being honest, it took you awhile to become accustomed and comfortable to how openly affectionate Harry is with you in front of his family and friends. At first, it was just small touches and light squeezes when the two of you would go out with Mitch and Sarah. The actions not bold enough for you to scold him, but just enough to make your cheeks turn pink. Not long after, the touches turned into sweet kisses to your cheek and draping a protective arm around you almost every time y'all went out. Which wasn't a problem until you realized how many stares your friends shot you when you started to get too comfortable in his warm embrace, most of the time opting to daze out in Harry's comfort than pay attention to conversation. So then, when the little affections turned into koala-esque cuddling into your side and planting heart-stopping kisses to your lips in front of Gemma and Anne this past summer, you decided to tell him to reign it back just a tad. It wasn't that you didn't like it! Quite the contrary, the sweet scent of his cologne that would flood your senses as he settled so close to you made your head fuzzy, and the pecks along your neck or on your hands or on your cheeks left you incapable of being present.

Of course, your loving boyfriend pouted a bit at the fact he claims, you don't want my kisses, but quickly got over it when you dropped to your knees before the boy to press kisses somewhere he couldn't complain about.

However, despite all of your protests to PDA, you can't help but relinquish your resolve as you melt into the couch with Harry between your legs, head resting on your tummy. The whole family (which includes you now!) is settled into their comfy spots in Anne's living room as Miracle on 34th Street plays on the TV, everyone having changed into their fuzziest Christmas pajamas. The realization when you saw Harry, Gem, and Anne had matching pajama bottoms made your heart grow tenfold and your eyes glaze over in complete fondness.

The smell of kettle corn popcorn (as Harry made it since he knows it's your favorite) and cinnamon candles fill the room. Anne and Robin are together on the couch perpendicular to yours against the wall opposite of you and Harry as the two of you are laid out taking up the whole space on y'all's blue sofa, while Gemma and Michal have cuddled up on the floor, sharing the big bean bag off to your left since they were the last ones to join the holiday movie marathon.

You love the dynamic of Harry's family. Much different than the chaotic mess of yours, and although you still love your family very much (despite their constant need to be obnoxiously loud for no reason whatsoever, fight over little things, and ignore each other on a daily basis), you admire how calm their presence is. You're family is just so... loud. And that's not necessarily a bad thing! The running joke of your family is that no one in it is capable of whispering...well, except you but you all blame it on the anxiety. But even so, your parents and brother have always argued. Over everything. Very rarely is it about something important, and seldom does it get out of control, but your family's way of showing affection is very...unique? Y'all aren't openly nice and polite all the time. As confusing as it might sound, y'all show your love in bickering. The love is more underlying than it is direct in show.

But that's why you can't get over how quiet this house is right now. Not one fight over someone breathing wrong has broke out and Harry and Gemma actually get along and enjoy each other's company. They're like... friends! The concept is crazy to you and you can't help but get just a tad bummed how your family doesn't just sit around all cuddled up, and how they'll get something for you while their up so you don't have to move from your comfy spot, or how Anne will just hug Harry out of nowhere. But the more you think about it, you realize that it's probably because Harry wasn't around much, always touring and traveling the world. He never got the time to playfully bicker with his family. So, as everyone is quiet in their comfort, you take it all in, happy that you're given the chance to experience their household dynamic.

Your fingers play with Harry's hair, running them through the long brown curls, still as wonderstruck at how soft his hair is as ever. Hearing him softly hum when you gently tug through a thicker curl.

"You're so effortlessly beautiful, ya know that?" You whisper to him, the sound of the movie, thankfully, covering you're affection from everyone else.

You can just spot the smitten little grin that grows on his face, and despite not having the angle to see, you just know his precious dimple is making a showcase right now...and that's enough to put a smile on your own face.

Instead of replying in words, he only turns his head to place a soft, melting kiss upon your thigh. Making heat surge through your entire body, in turn, making your heart warm at his love.

As y'all sit and watch the movie, you start to subconsciously braid your boyfriends hair. Starting by sectioning (albeit, a bit lazily) his hair into two big chunks, then separating three strands from the top of his head, you start braiding the pieces, adding a bit more hair as you go. He eventually caught on to what you were doing and you thought he was going to stop you, truthfully. But to your surprise, he only started rubbing gentle circles into your legs with his hands in a calming manner, causing you to release a content sigh.

When you get to the end, you tie off the finished braid with a hair tie from your wrist before moving to the other side of his sectioned head. It surprised you how long his braids are! They come down about a few inches below his chin, much longer than the only other time you had saw him in braids, which was when Lou did them right before he went on stage to perform. Now, your braiding skills aren't as refined as Lou's are, her skills making yours look rather sad, but you're having a blast doing it and that's all that matters. Not like he's going to go perform after this, right?

After securing the second braid in a hair tie, you lean forward and place a kiss to the top of Harry's head, causing him to tilt his head to look at you with a big smile on his pretty face.

Since you're sat up already and hovering over his face with him still in your lap, you press a quick, searing kiss to his lips, watching them curve into a splitting grin. You smile back at him, just admiring his features.

Despite being able to feel the loving stares from Gemma and Anne in the room, your focus is still on Harry.

“I love you,” He whispers, bringing a hand up to gently stroke your cheek.

“I love you too, bubs.” You return, because you do. You love him so much it hurts sometimes.

Looking at him now, surrounded by his family, you think you have never been so happy in your entire life. You’re so lucky to have him in your life, and you know he knows he’s lucky too.

But most of all, you’re so glad you decided to spend this Christmas with him.

[thr-333]

Mismatch- Part 5

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

Fine if meeting them didn’t give them a clue maybe this will.

First < Previous > Next

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“So Tim said you have a lot of siblings?” Marion asks Dick as they walk down the hall, he chuckles.

“You could say that, we aren’t all blood, but we’re still family,” He guides them down the stairs, the elevator not being large enough for the whole class.

“Doesn’t matter to us,” Marinette chimes in, “We’re adopted too, we never met our birth parents,”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Marion hums, “I don’t think Aunt Selina is actually related to Papa either,”

“People always say that we look like her though,” Marinette smiles, “Although they do say the same about Maman,”

“I’m sure you’ll fit right in with us, you’ve got the whole black hair, blue eyes going for you,” Dick jokes, as they reach the end of the stairwell, “On this floor we have some of our publicity team who manage the image for Wayne enterprises and the Wayne family,”

“It’s still kinda rude for him to ignore you,” Alya was clearly unaware of her own hypocrisy. Dick ignores them in turn and carries on.

“Bruce was just surprised, I didn’t want to interrupt,” Lila explains, clearly not having heard any of the conversation between the newly acquainted cousins.

“Hopefully you get some time with them, if the twins don’t hog it all,” Sabrina glare can be felt.

“I’m sure once the shock runs out they’ll have plenty of spare time to catch up,” Lila gloats, “I have known the Waynes a lot longer, the twins are just strangers,”

“You two do seem pretty strange to me,” Dick whispers teasingly, before speaking out to the rest of the group.

“You have no idea,” Marion glances at his satchel carrying two small gods.

“-I’ll talk to them,” Kim speaks up, speeding up to reach the twins. Lila having said something in the five seconds they weren’t paying attention that caused him to take action.

He walks over to them, to his credit only hesitating slightly under Kagami’s glare.

“Hey, you should know Lila’s pretty upset you didn’t let Bruce say hello,” Kim whispers to him, even though everyone could hear. Marion stops and turns to him.

“Kim, if Bruce wanted to say hello he would have,” Not that Bruce would have, “In case you didn’t notice we were talking with Dick most the time,”

“I just think you should back off, Lila doesn’t get to see the Waynes often,” Kim frowns, glancing back at Lila who was playing her part, looking distraught.

Marion tries not to smirk, thinking; ‘Clearly not as she can’t recognise one right in front of her’

“Kim you know we don’t get to see our Aunt often,” Marion scolds, Kim flinches probably at reminder they were childhood friends, “Mr Wayne can invite whoever he wants, he could be literally anyone, I don’t care, I just want to spend time with my Aunt,”

Marion leaves the shocked Kim behind, he rejoins his sister and friends.

“The idiot doesn't talk to you for weeks but comes running the second Lila beckons, ridiculous,” Chloe is glaring back at the boy who is talking to Lila now, as her frown grows.

“Maybe he’s telling her to back off?” Marinette rubs comforting circles on Marion’s shoulder.

“I doubt it, he’s pissed at me for some reason,” Marion shrugs, Marinette takes the hint and drops her hand with one last pat.

“Probably Lila related,” Adrien says sadly, as Kim rubs his head sheepishly with a quiet laugh.

“Can’t completely blame her,” Marion speaks the most unlikely words, “You guys know how we are with plans,”

“A true friend would not betray you for a few cancellations,” Kagami fumes, as they walk through an office area with a view looking down at the street below, “Adrien and I also have similar situations,”

“That’s right, I’m the only one in this group with any sense of punctuality,” Chloe boasts teasingly, Dick doesn’t interrupt them.

“You were once an hour late for a picnic cause you were doing your hair,” Marion snickers.

“Did you see my hair that day?” Chloe gestures to her hair, “Worth it,”

“It was-”

Kagami was cut off by the loud shattering of glass. Everyone ducked as glass spilled everywhere, shouting or screaming. Marion drops into a defensive stance, Marinette, Kagami, Chloe and even Dick doing the same. Marion watches as a figure lands on a desk with a grunt, an employee hiding underneath it. Marion's eyes go wide as he watches Red Hood- the Red Hood trying to push himself up. His totally-not-fanboying is cut off when a villain he doesn't recognise jumps through the broken window. Marion watches as the villain takes slow purposeful strides towards Red Hood, glass crunching underneath his boots. Marion ignores Dick as he tries to herd the class out of the room, most employees already making their way to the emergency exits. Minus the one who was trapped underneath Red Hood.

“Well Hood, seems I’ve got you,” The villain looms over him, taking aim.

Marion sprints into action, using his momentum to tackle the villain. Sending him off balance, bullet hitting the opposite wall. First order of business; the gun.

“What the-get off,” The villain aims the gun at Marion, the angle making it hard as Marion is standing on the opposite side.

As he turns Marion holds on tighter lifting his feet off the ground. Putting the villain off balance again and keeping Marion out of reach. Marion uses the hesitation to slip behind him, vaulting onto the villains shoulders. He wraps his legs around the villains neck

“You little-” Both arms come up out of instinct to get him off.

Marion grabs the arm with the gun, holding it with both of his. Pointing the gun up to the ceiling. A punch connects with his side, the impact muted by the bullet proof armour he wears underneath. Marion looks behind them, judging if the space is big enough to pull him down without hitting the desks. He also looks further back, making sure no one would be in the path of gunfire. Deeming that both are clear he leans back, making the villain shout as he loses balance, sending them both down. Marion falls as safely as possible in his position.

They hit the ground with a grunt. The villain loses all the air in his lungs because of the impact. Marion doesn’t risk losing his grip on the villain to disarm him. He keeps his hold as steady as possible as the villain starts to struggle. The punches to his side start to give a dull ache, the angel making the blows less powerful at least. Great, this was usually the part where Ladybug would swoop in. In light of any magical Ladybugs marion squeezes his legs tighter, trying to make the villain pass out. The villain starts firing his gun blindly, Marion flinches at the sound, far too close to his ear. Making him realise just how close the gun was to his head, he closes his eyes and turns away instinctually. He braces for another blow but it doesn't come, then the shooting stops.

“Fuck,” The villian shouts, Marion opens his eyes turning his head towards the gun. He sees the heel of a boot pressing down into the villain's wrist. The grip on the gun goes lax and the boot kicks it away.

Marion follows the leg up to see Red Hood standing over them. The angle making him seem much larger, casting a shadow over Marion. The expressionless mask staring right down at him. Marion gulped, yeah that might be slightly intimidating

“Sorry,” Red Hood grunts, pulling the villains arm at an unnatural angel making him yelp.“Getting thrown through a window ain't fun,”

“Tell me about it,” Marion knows exactly how that feels, as Chat Noir, and this guy is just a human. How quickly did he get back up? It couldn't have been over a minute in the scheme of things. And oh wow he was still standing over him and Marion was having a hard time keeping his eyes on his face or rather helmet.

“I think he’s out,” Red Hood says with a slightly amused tone.

Marion jolts, not having even noticed how the villain stopped struggling. He relaxes his grip cautiously, ready to hold back on if he starts moving.

“Pass me that arm,” Red Hood says, taking out a pair handcuffs snapping them around the wrist he was already holding.

Marion just keeps staring until Red Hood starts to just reach down. He startles, thrusting the limp arm into his hand and scrambling up, trying not to blush. Red hood secures the villains wrists before dropping them. He steps to the side and pushes the villain out of the way.

“Are you ok?” Red Hood crouches down to ask, Marion stares dumbly, “What's your name? Where are you?”

“.... Marion…. Wayne Tower….” Marion falters a little(a lot) star struck, before realising why he’s asking, “I don’t have a concussion! I’m fine really!”

Red Hood nods, standing back up. He reaches out an arm to help Marion up. Marion wants to take his hand, he really does, but his arms don’t seem to be moving. He’d probably just trip over anyway. Red Hood lets his arm drop once its clear Marion won’t be responding anytime soon. Instead he reaches down and throws the unconscious villain over his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’re going to get plenty of lectures on how stupid that was,” Marion cringes at the harsh tone “So… thanks…. that was really brave,”

Marion is left to internally combust as Red Hood swings out the window with a grappling hook.

“Marion! Mari! Are you ok,” Marinette rushes to him, followed by the rest of the class.

“What just happened?” Marion is still staring at the spot Red Hood disappeared from.

“Dude, you took that guy down in seconds!” Nino exclaims, Marion fixes his glasses only the magic of the miraculous keeping them on.

“Huh, it felt longer,” Marion turns to his class to see everyone, minus Lila, looking down at him with concern.

“We need to get you checked out,” Dick helps him stand,“There's a medical bay in Wayne tower, lets go,”

Marion just nods, slowly coming to himself to realise he was very much not alright. He clutched his side that ached, armour shielding the majority of the damage didn’t mean it wasn’t hurting. His back also hurt from landing on the ground, luckily Marinette had reinforced his jacket so he knew it wasn't cut up. Apparently he had gotten away with no cuts, as he had kept his head off the ground and was wearing reinforced gloves. His ears were ringing from the gunshots, in hindsight, that hold wasn’t the best idea, but they rarely had to deal with actual guns so he was left unprepared.

They reach the medical bay, Dick trying to get his classmates and teacher to calm down the whole way. Marion didn’t answer any of their questions, knowing he had to consider his answers carefully. He made sure to pass Marinette his baton, for her to hide in her backpack. In the medical bay there were a few employees who were part of the attack getting their cuts disinfected. Marion gets a thank you from an employee who he recognises as the one trapped under the desk. Marion nods in response, being guided to a seperate room only Marinette was allowed into.

The nurse checks him over, revealing a growing bruise on his side. He seems surprised it's not worse after Marinette explains what happened, luckily he doesn’t notice anything amiss about his clothes. He also checks his back, telling him it should be fine in a day or two and if it’s not, to see a professional. Marion knows that even if something is wrong his increased healing ability from his time as the black cat would set it right.

“The ringing should wear off in a few days,” Marion knows it will stop by the end of the day, “It’s a natural symptom after loud noises,”

Marion nods and the nurse leaves him to rest, letting Marinette watch over him.

“That was reckless,” Marinette states simply, as soon as the door closes.

“Can we save the lecture for later?” He rolls over on the bed the nurse insisted he rest on.

“Marinette is right,” Tikki flies out of her purse, followed by Kaalki and Plagg. Plagg doesn't say anything just comes to sit on Marion’s chest. “Your whole class was watching,”

“I know! I just wasn't thinking!” Marion pats Plagg's head, silently telling him he’s alright.

“I don’t know,” Marinette leans back and smirks, “I think you were thinking of one thing in particular,”

“No, go back to the lecture,” Marion buries his face in the pillow.

“So how was meeting him? You seemed a little flustered,” Marinette leans her elbows on her knees and holds her face.

“Ugh, I was totally embarrassing, wasn’t I?” Marion fixes her with pleading eyes.

“Oh, definitely, you also completely ignored him trying to help you," Marion screams into the pillow,

“This seems to be an effective punishment,” Kaalki muses, zipping away with the rest of the Kwamis when someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Marinette calls, as Marion sits up.

“Marion Cheng-Dupain, explain yourself!” Aunt Selina bursts through the door.

“Auntie! Who I love so much, so good to see you, did I tell you that you look lovely today,” Marion shifts back as she approaches.

“Nice try, why did I get a call from Dick telling me you were in the medical wing?” She stops to stand in front of him, hands on hips.

“I assume it’s because of the villain attack,” Marion glances at the door to see Dick peek in before closing it, “But I’m not sure,”

“A villain attacked you!” Selina bellows, Marion realises its probably a good thing he can't give her their name.

“Well no. The villain attacked Red Hood, I attacked the villain before he could attack Red Hood,” Marion rambles making gestures to explain the process. Marinette gives him a flat look.

“So you thought attacking a villain unarmed was a better idea then running away?” Their Aunt looks horrified through her anger.

“Yes that would be the gist of it,” Marion agrees, Marinette face palms.

“Don’t worry I’ve already given him a lecture,” Marinette covers and Marion knows he owes her one.

“What am I going to do with you?” Their Aunt sighs rubbing her face.

“Give me a hug and ask if I'm alright?” She rolls her eyes knowing exactly what he’s trying to do, but sits down next to him anyway.

“Come here you two,” Marinette comes and sits next to her and she pulls them both in for a hug, “You’re not allowed to scare me like that ever again,”

“Ever?-ouch,” Marion yelps as Selina pinches his cheek playfully.

“You’re meant to say ‘sorry I won’t do it again’ and then be sneakier about it next time,” She scolds, as Marion rubs his cheek.

“I promise next time I decide to impulsively fight a villain you won’t find out about it,” Marion swears, making their aunt roll her eyes.

“You’re a brat,” She ruffles his hair, not that it wasn't already messy.

“I get it from you,” Marion grins, Selina sighs.

”... yes you do,” She gives him a sad little smile and they fall into a familiar silence.

This was something their Aunt did often, randomly becoming solemn and closing off for a little bit.

“Marion, Marinette are you ok?” Madame Bustier pokes her head through the door.

“Yeah, nurse said I’m fine, just a few bruises,” Marion sees her relief, "Did you call our parents?"

"Yes I called yours first, I told them you were being looked at," Madame Bustier explains, "You should call them soon,"

"We will," Marinette promises, neither looking forward to that conversation.

“Alright then, are you free to go?” Madame Bustier asks, “The rest of the tours been cancelled and the class is ready to leave,”

“I’ll take them,” Selina steps in, hugging them tighter “I’ll drop them off at the hotel later,”

“Alright then, don’t stay out too late” Madame Bustier gives them a smile, disappearing behind the door.

“She isn’t even going to ask where we’re going,” Their Aunt huffs, glaring at the door.

“Aren’t we going to dinner?” Marion asks, Marinette nodding.

“I was planning on just letting you rest without your classmates bothering you,” Their Aunt admits

“I’m fine, I want to go to dinner," Marion receives an unconvinced look from their Aunt.

"Please,” They chorus using their twin powers, that breaks her.

“Fine, fine," She relents, ruffling his hair again, Marinette's hat sparing her, "But Bruce probably needs some time to sort everything out,”

“Already handled,” Bruce walks through the door right on cue, “I must apologise for this happening to you both in my building,”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re fine,” Marinette answers for him, Marion getting tired of repeating himself.

“I watched the security footage," Bruce tells them, standing at the bed.

'right that exists' Marion thinks, 'I can practically fell Marinette scheming how to steal it', if only to immortalise his pain.

"Where did you learn to fight?” Bruce inquires, neither missing the subtle glance to Selina.

“Um, we taught ourselves, did some self defence classes,” Marinette answers, both feeling their Aunt relax against them

“Plus Aunt Selina has trained us a bit since we were kids,” Marion adds, with a teasing smile.

“Has she,” Bruce states, looking at his fiance.

“You little snitch,” Selina mocks anger, ruffling his hair with both hands now in retaliation, Marion laughs.

“If you aren’t up for dinner we can postpone to a later date,” Bruce tells him, Marion swears he can see a slight smile.

“No, no, I’m perfectly fine, I’d love to come,” Marion tries to push his Aunt away.

“If that's the case, we can go to the manor right now,” Bruce offers, the twins nod, “Just a minute, Selina?”

Selina leaves Marion's hair alone and follows Bruce out the room. Marion starts to go over the events of the last hour in his mind. Coming to a horrible realisation.

“Wait a minute… did Red Hood see me wearing his outfit!” Marion turns to Marinette.

“Oh come on, like he recognises it,” She says through her laughter.

‘He was wearing my MDC outfit’ Jason thinks excitedly to himself, having dropped the criminal off to the police.

‘He seemed scared so he probably isn’t a fan, maybe he just likes MDC’ Jason's thoughts sour, back at his shared safe house with Roy.

His phone rings. Jason is about to ignore it when he sees Alfred's name on the caller Id.

“Hello?”

“Master Jason I would like to invite you to dinner tonight,” Alfred speaks from the phone, as Jason paces around the apartment.

“What's the occasion?” Jason asks, Roy glances up from whatever he's making on the couch.

“Miss Selina’s niece and nephew are in town and it would be nice for them to meet the family,” Jason snorts.

'Family huh?' he doesn't dare say to Alfred.

“I believe you already met Marion today at Wayne Tower,” Jason pauses, recognising the name as the boy gave him when he was checking for a concussion.

“He’s Cat Woman’s nephew?” Jason whispers into the phone.

‘Makes sense his movements did seem similar to hers,’ Jason wonders if she properly trained them.

“Yes, although I doubt neither he nor Marinette are aware,” If Alfred was saying that it was probably true.

“Alright fine,” Jason agrees, drawing Roy's attention again.

“Very good Master Jason, I will see you this evening,"

"Bye," Jason hangs up shortly.

“You’re actually going to dinner?" Roy knows his relationship with the rest of the Bat's is testy at best, plus he broke Bruce's window today.

“Remember the civilian I told you about?” Jason plops down onto the couch next to him.

“The one who saved your butt? The one you haven't stopped talking about? The one who's kinda cute? nope,” Roy pops the 'p' turning back to his newest gadget.

“He’s going to be there,” Jason ignores Roy's taunting.

“Why?” Roy keeps fiddling with a gear.

“Apparently he’s Cat Woman's nephew,”

“What!" Roy drops the gadget, cursing as pieces scatter everywhere.

“I want to check on him, he seemed really out of it,” Jason ignores Roy's outburst.

“Wait so does that make you two like... adopted cousins in law or something?” Jason chuckles without any humour.

“In case you haven't noticed I haven't been Bruce's son for a long time,”

[patriciasage]

promises, promises

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary: 

Taako made two promises to his sister early on in this seemingly endless mission. Firstly, he isn’t allowed to intentionally cut a cycle short, no matter how much time is left, no matter how much he misses her. Secondly, if she’s gone, he has to take care of Barry.

He isn’t sure what his sister was thinking with the second one. ‘Taako’ and ‘take care of’ are not words that naturally go together for anyone other than Lup. He loves the entire crew, of course he does, but he would rather kill for them than comfort them.

This is the first cycle where Lup is dead and neither Taako nor Barry had gone with her.

posted in full under the break but you can find me on AO3!!

There are two months left in the cycle and Lup is gone. She, Merle, and Davenport were poisoned during a political meeting.

Taako hadn’t been hungry that day. He wishes he would have taken a drink. Magnus hates when he says it, but he prefers to die by her side than live without her. And death would have been much more preferable to watching her choke and spasm in front of him. Helpless.

Lucretia has a lot on her plate now, attempting to negotiate with the bastards who killed them. There was death on both sides, since Taako literally burned the place to the ground. It seems as though they’re on the verge of war – the four remaining crewmembers versus this country’s royal armies.

Taako doesn’t give a shit.

“What’s the fucking point?” he asks Lucretia when she made plans to meet with the royal representative. “This cycle’s gone to Hell; let’s just go.”

“We have two months left,” Lucretia says. “We have a chance to work through this and get the Light. Then they didn’t die in vain.” Her voice cracks. Taako attempts to be gentle with his friend, even though rage flows through him like a roaring stream.

But quiet vitriol escapes his mouth. “Are they even worth saving?”

Lucretia looks at him with bright, brown eyes. “Taako.”

“They killed Merle and Davenport and Lup! And they should have killed me too. And we’re still going to bend over backwards in order to save them? They obviously wouldn’t do the same for us.”

“That’s not how this works,” Lucretia says, quiet and stern. “We don’t decide who is worth saving or not.” She places her dark hand on Taako’s shoulder. “I know you’re hurting, T. And I won’t make you be a part of this. But I’m going to try and get the Light of Creation. And you’re going to make it through these next few months to see her again.”

Taako could see her again right now if he wanted to. But he doesn’t say that. And he doesn’t let himself truly entertain the thought. He promised.

Everyone on the ship is grieving in their own way. Barry becomes entirely reclusive, locking himself in his lab. Magnus cries a lot over the first few days and blames himself for not being at the meeting to protect them, but then he focuses his energy into learning to pilot the Starblaster. Taako attempts to distract his mind from the grief that sits deep in his bones.

Knowing their deaths are temporary doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Magnus makes it his personal mission to take care of Taako, which is very annoying but also helps with his plan for distraction. He sits next to the Magnus as the fighter test-drives the ship. It’s hard to think about your dead sister when your friend is crashing a spaceship into a lake.

But Magnus isn’t only recklessness and aggressive enthusiasm. He’s also soft and sensitive – and fucking manipulative. He tells Taako he needs a hug or someone to keep him company when he sleeps. Taako knows these are partial lies. He knows that Magnus just wants to hold his pieces together, to shield Taako from the nightmares that tear him apart.

Taako travels through the days like molasses. He wants to exist in the bare minimum, avoid the smouldering flame threatening to burn him up. But it’s hard to exist, unfeeling, in a world where he’s always had her at his side. He can’t do anything without thinking of her.

He drinks too much.

It helps a little, but it causes Magnus to make that sad, helpless expression, so Taako hides it as best he can.

He made two promises to his sister early on in this seemingly endless mission. Firstly, he isn’t allowed to intentionally cut a cycle short, no matter how much time is left, no matter how much he misses her. Secondly, if she’s gone, he has to take care of Barry.

Taako isn’t sure what his sister was thinking with the second one. ‘Taako’ and ‘take care of’ are not words that naturally go together for anyone other than Lup. He loves the entire crew, of course he does, but he would rather kill for them than comfort them.

This is the first cycle where Lup is dead and neither Taako nor Barry had gone with her.

Food is always an effective way to build a bridge between two stubborn souls. Taako steps foot into the Starblaster’s kitchen for the first time since the disaster a few weeks ago. Lucretia is a passable cook, so the remaining crew haven’t been suffering too much, but her meals are nothing compared to the twins’ concoctions.

Absolutely everything on this ship reminds Taako of his sister (pretty much every aspect of existence reminds him of his sister), but the kitchen is particularly salient. He stands in the doorway and breathes through it, thankful that no one is around. Lup is the only one who knows him at his core, the only one who’s ever seen his soft, fragile centre. Magnus has been digging closer and closer every cycle with his big hands and even bigger smile. But there’s no one Taako trusts like he trusts Lup.

And she’s gone.

And he made her a promise.

There are so many lakes on this world. Taako had spent most of springtime fishing and filleting, so the freezer is full. He takes out a few cuts of cod, expertly deboned, as well as some salt, pepper, lemon, chili powder, and dill. He starts the rice boiling and thaws the fish with a flick of his wand. The meat hasn’t been frying for too long before Magnus and Lucretia appear at the kitchen table, summoned by the smell. They’re looking at him with an irritating mixture of encouragement and wariness. He ignores them and focuses on cooking. He’s mentally batting away memories and feelings constantly and it’s starting to take a toll.

The kitchen is silent except for the sizzle of fish in the pan and the soft murmur of boiling rice. Taako transmutes some beans into asparagus and tosses that in the pan as well.

“Fucking talk,” he says to the stove.

Magnus startles into conversation. Taako feels his friends’ gazes move away from his back and toward each other. He focuses on their chat even though it’s boring. It’s easier than fighting his heart’s insistent ache.

He avoids looking at their faces while he places their meals in front of them. “Thank you,” Lucretia says softly. Magnus places a big, warm hand on the wizard’s shoulder.

Taako feels his mouth press into a shadow of a smile. He squeezes Magnus’s hand and steps away. “Dig in. I’m gonna bring some to the lab rat.”

Barry is asleep at his desk, drooling on a sketch of one of his prototypes. Taako sets the plate down next to him and watches the smell wake him up. His glasses are askew even when he lifts his head.

There’s an awful moment when he looks at Taako and his face softly lights up. Taako’s stomach sinks, and then Barry comes fully into awareness and looks away. Taako regrets shaving his face his morning and he regrets wearing his hair up the way Lup usually does before bed. He doesn’t blame Barry for the disappointment.

“This is good shit, so you’d better not let it get cold,” Taako says. He leans against the workbench with his arms crossed.

“Smells good,” Barry replies with his characteristic, gruff awkwardness. Taako tries not to fidget. The chill of Lup’s absence is strongest in the kitchen, but it’s swirling around the lab, too. It’s typical to see Lup sprawled on the couch pretty much every evening, chattering while Barry tries and fails to focus on his work.

Barry puts a forkful of rice in his mouth and speaks around it. Gross. “Did you eat already?”

Taako is absentmindedly surprised when he realizes he hasn’t eaten anything except a bite of toast that Magnus practically shoved in his mouth this morning. He curses himself for thinking about it too long and ruining what could have been a perfectly good lie. “Yep, sure did.”

“Taako…” Barry says disapprovingly, lowering his fork.

“Get outta my ass, Barry. I’m, like, a hundred years old, or something.” Age doesn’t mean much to them, anymore. “Don’t treat me like a child.”

“I’m not treating you like a child. I’m treating you like – ” He sighs. “Do you have some left over upstairs?”

“Yeah,” Taako lies. He walks toward the door. “Gonna go eat now, so…enjoy, or whatever.”

Barry rubs his eyes under his glasses. “Thanks, Taako.”

“Shit,” Taako mutters as he climbs the stairs. Why didn’t Lup tell Magnus or Lucretia to take care of Barry? Hell, anyone would do a better job than him.

Taako enters the now empty kitchen and casts Prestidigitation to clean the dishes, but he stops before he can leave for the upper deck. There’s a full plate of food on the table. It’s obvious that Magnus and Lucretia had each put half of their meal onto a clean plate. They’re taking advantage of his inability to throw away food, engrained from his childhood. Taako sighs but sits at the table to eat. He feels more solid when he’s done, but just as empty.

The next day is better.

“Come for a walk,” Taako demands from Barry’s bedroom doorway. Barry yelps and covers his chest with a blanket.

“Taako!”

“Come for a walk!” the elf repeats, leaving the door ajar as he leaves.

Barry joins him on the Starblaster’s lower deck in a few minutes, hair messy but fully clothed. “Where are we going?”

Before Taako has a chance to respond, Magnus rushes in. “Don’t forget your cloak – it’s kinda cold. Oh, hey, Barry. You coming with us?”

“I guess I am.”

“Great!”

Magnus hands Barry his denim jacket and throws Taako’s thicker cloak in his direction. The security officer himself is wearing a wool-lined vest with no sleeves. Taako resists the urge to roll his eyes when he notices.

The men don’t talk a lot as they traverse the path that Magnus and Taako have worn down over the last few weeks. They skip rocks on the surface of the still water. Barry stays far away from the water’s edge. Magnus picks Taako up and pretends he’s about to throw him in. Instead of protesting, Taako looks the man in the eyes with a challenge. “Do it. I fucking dare you, Burnsides.” Magnus freezes and just stands there holding the elf in his arms for a moment. Taako smirks. “That’s what I thought.”

Barry disappears into his lab when they return to the ship, but Taako still considers it a success. After a few days, Barry no longer needs to be woken up; he joins them in the foyer, sleepy but ready, every morning. Lucretia comes, too, when she’s not out negotiating.

Taako cooks when he can.

Sometimes he’s good. Sometimes the air of the kitchen suffocates him. Barry sees him once, standing in the pantry, frozen and overwhelmed. “Hey,” he says. There’s something soft and complex in his expression when Taako whirls around.

“What’s up, my man?” Taako’s voice breaks more than usual. The stiffness of his hands betrays him, too. Barry beckons him out of the pantry. Taako follows quietly as the scientist travels to the Starblaster’s upper deck.

The endless night sky is strangely comforting. There aren’t many constants in their life besides each other, their target, and their enemy. But the sky is always there and ready to take them away.

Barry opens a hatch near the centre of the deck and brings out what looks like a piece from a broken chair. “Ready?” he asks.

“What?”

Barry just nods and then throws the item high into the air. Taako understands when it reaches his highest peak, but he can’t bring himself to take out his wand. The piece of wood falls into a nearby like with a soft splash.

“Oh, sorry,” Barry says awkwardly. “You’re supposed to hit it with a spell –”

“I know what I’m supposed to do, Barry. I’ve lived with her my whole life,” Taako snaps. He takes a breath and tries again. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, man. But that’s her. She feels things build up inside and needs to let ‘em out in a way she can control. But I- …I’m not full of anything.” He turns to leave. “So, thanks, dude, but this isn’t gonna work for me.”

Barry grabs his wrist. “Taako, wait!” He looks a little helpless. “Then what does work for you? Tell me.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on.” Barry attempts a smile but he’s shivering a little in the night air. “Like you said to me the other day – you’re over a hundred years old. You know. So, tell me what makes you feel better when you feel like shit so I can help you out.”

“I don’t want your fucking help, Barry.”

“Well, that’s too damn bad!” Barry rarely raises his voice. It echoes across the empty deck and is swallowed by the night sky. “Tell me, Taako.”

He knows the answer will hurt both of them when it leaves his mouth, but he says it anyway. “Being with her.” Barry averts his gaze and Taako feels both sick and triumphant. “Just…being in her company makes me feel like a person again. So. Unless you can do that for me, I think we’re done here.”

Taako stands outside Magnus’s bedroom door for a few minutes. He raises his hand to knock then lowers it again. He spends the night on a nearby dock, listening to the waves lap against the shore and slowly emptying a bottle of rum.

The next morning, they pretend it didn’t happen. They go for their morning walk and let Magnus carry the conversation.

Lucretia gets the Light of Creation against all odds – and just in time. There’s only about two days left in this Cycle. Taako makes her favourite dish, piri piri chicken, and they allow themselves to celebrate with wine and music. It never feels completely right to celebrate, knowing the Hunger is still going to cause a lot of damage, but they need to allow themselves these small successes. The men also feel the need to show appreciation to Lucretia, since she worked tirelessly to save this world while they went for walks and crashed the ship into lakes.

Magnus is dancing with Lucretia in the kitchen and Taako makes a quick exit before the big man can trap him in another embrace. He finds Barry on the couch, lost in thought. He sits down beside him, touching their wine glasses together in a small toast. “We made it,” the wizard says before taking another drink.

“Yeah,” Barry says. They’re both thinking the same thing. They’ll see her again soon.

Barry turns to face him. “Listen, Taako, I’m sorry I was so pushy the other night.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s just…” Barry sighs. “I promised her I’d take care of you and I –”

“What?” Taako interrupts. They look at each other, incredulous and inquiring. “She made me promise to take care of you, dude.”

Barry smiles and laughs. Taako fumes. As if Barry Bluejeans could take care of him – what was she thinking? “We both did kind of a shit job, didn’t we?” Barry says.

“Hey, without me you would’ve starved to death.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

A few days later, Magnus flies the Starblaster through the Hunger’s advancing tendrils, their bodies fragment, and the entire crew materializes in their set places. Before Lup can even take a breath, Taako shoves her hard. “What the fuck?” she sputters. He silences her with a hug.

The IPRE crew puts the past behind them and they settle into a new life on a new world. Barry and Lup go back to their routine of being attached at the hip and stubbornly not talking about their feelings. Lup and Taako cook and practice magic together. Barry and Taako aren’t close, per se, but they tolerate each other in a new, honest and kind way.

It’s worth it to see the smile on Lup’s face.

[jalapeno-princess]

Give It a Try

Mark Tuan X Male Reader

Word Count: 3.2K

Genre: Fluffy with a tiny bit of angst

Summary: You and Mark have been tip toeing around each other’s feelings for the last few months but that’s because you’re afraid to give him your all. However, after coming to the conclusion that he genuinely cares for you and wants to take things further between the two of you, you no longer see the point in preventing things to blossom in to something beautiful.

A/N: This was requested by @xavi-in-kpopland​ this is actually my first time writing a male x male story so I hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if it doesn’t reach your expectations :( but thank you again for requesting! (Based on the song Fire by the Pointer Sisters)

I'm ridin' in your car You turn on the radio You're pullin' me close I just say no I say I don't like it But you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh FireLate at night You're takin' me home You say you want to stay I say I want to be alone I say I don't love you But you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh Fire

“I can feel you looking at me. You’re not exactly discreet about it Mark. Stop that. You’re supposed to keep your eyes on the road. If we die tonight because you can’t keep your eyes off of me, I’ll kill you.” His adorable high pitch laughter that you loved yet hated so much because of the effect it had on you echoed throughout his car and overpowered the playlist of songs he claimed reminded him of you. 

The two of you had just finished watching the new Keanu Reeves movie that recently came out and Mark’s been begging you to go and see it with him as soon as he saw the movie poster posted up at the mall. At first, you rejected him just to play around with him but deep down you knew you were going to give in to him. You’d do anything for the beautiful boy behind the wheel; he meant a lot to you. More than you wanted to admit out loud to him and even to yourself. 

You enjoyed playing hard to get; something about knowing that the most admired and desired guy on campus having eyes for nobody else but you sent fire to your bones. You knew you had Mark hooked, but you wanted to make sure he was in it for the long run and that his intentions were pure. The last thing you needed was for the most popular guy in school to dump you like you were nothing and leave you in the dust, making you look like the biggest loser at your university. 

To your dismay, the more time you spent with him, the faster you began losing your resolve; but it was inevitable. You and Mark have been fooling around with one another for almost four months now. There was a little voice in the back of your head telling you that he would’ve left a long time ago if he didn’t have at least some kind of romantic feelings for you and you were well aware that Mark was where you kept your heart. It took you a while to accept your feelings for him, but you loved Mark. 

Although some people may consider it too early to really know how far your feelings went for him, when it’s love you just know. There was a warm feeling in your chest every time you’d spend time with him and once he would drop you back to your apartment, you were left feeling empty and counted down the hours until you got to see him again. You wanted to wait it out a little bit more to see that he was worth risking your heart for. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. No; in the last four months, he’s shown you nothing but kindness, support, patience and generosity. 

He helped you learn to love who you were and to embrace your sexuality. It’s just that you’ve been hurt a few times in the past by assholes who thought it would be funny to pretend that they too were interested in guys knowing that you were one of the only people who genuinely did not care if everyone knew your gender preference when it came to your significant other. Knowing who he was and who his friends were, you were afraid to let Mark in your life the day he approached you in your religion class asking you for help. 

All the girls in your class were extremely obvious about their attraction for him and you couldn’t blame them; he was indescribably good looking and quite the charmer. But from what you heard through the grapevine, Mark had no interest in girls. There were days where you found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like getting to date him, hold hands with him, go on cute little dates with him and to kiss those plump lips of his; but that’s all you had thought would happen. 

If someone were to tell you months ago that you’d be in a complicated relationship with Mark, you’d laugh in their face. You didn’t know when your tutoring sessions turned in to meeting up with him to get food at two in the morning, or cuddling with him while he played video games over at your apartment, but it was in those moments where you’d find yourself questioning the status of your relationship with the older boy. The two of you were more than friends but less than lovers and you knew it was because you weren’t ready to take things further just yet. 

If you were to put a title on what you and Mark were, you had a feeling things would only go downhill from there and you didn’t want to lose him before you could really enjoy being with him. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him hesitantly moving his hand towards your lap; something he always did whenever you’d go on drives together. Most of the time, you’d swat his hand away even if you wanted nothing more than to intertwine your hands together. There were days where you allowed him to hold your hand or to even pull you in to his embrace, but for the most part you would always push him away the second you felt his touch. 

Whenever you’d see him flush in embarrassment from the rejection, you felt a pain in your chest and you hated being so rash towards him. Especially because he treated you as if you were the most delicate flower. Sooner or later, you were going to have to give in to him before he finally gave up on this frustrating game of car and mouse. You had a huge feeling he was probably getting tired of how cold you would act towards him but not once did he complain or force you to do something you didn’t want to which was what you admired about him the most. 

Unfortunately, for the last few days your mind has been all over the place. You couldn’t help but overthink that the longer you kept pushing Mark away and prevented things from blossoming between the two of you, that he would soon grow tired and find someone who was willing to treat him the way he deserved. Mark could get anybody he wanted; this you knew was true and you didn’t know why he settled for someone like you, but you weren’t going to continue to push him away. Tonight, you planned on allowing whatever it was going between you and Mark; a fling of some sorts turn in to whatever it is that he wanted for the two of you.

 Since he didn’t seem like he was going to initiate anything, you reached over the console and pulled his hand on to your lap before intertwining your fingers together. Seeing his breath hit at your sudden movement made you smile softly to yourself. Was this man really going to be twenty-seven years old in a couple of months? Sometimes you’d forget how old Mark really was because of how childlike he’d act around you. 

“Are you—is everything okay?” His question caused you to look at him in curiosity. 

“I’m fine. Oh—are you not okay with this?” As you were about to pull your hand away, he tugged on it all but gently and brought yours hands up to his lips before placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. Your heart rate began increasing as soon as you felt his lips on your skin; in the few moments that he’d kiss you, whether they were chaste kisses against your cheek or passionate, steamy make out sessions, any moment spent with his lips on any one of your body parts sent your body in flames. 

“No no—I’m okay with this—more than okay. Trust me. I just—I’m not used to you initiating things like this. You’re always so quick to push me away, so it’s taking a little longer for me to get used to your clingy side—ow! When did you become so strong? Just wait till we park y/n, you’re going to regret that.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes and squeezed his hands as you turned your attention back to the road. “Ooooh, I’m so scared.” His little giggle at your sarcasm made you blush. God, this man was going to be the death of you. 

“Hey y/n do you—would it be okay if—ah, never mind.” When it was just the two of you, Mark would always be so shy and soft spoken sometimes. It wasn’t something you were used to, even after months of getting to know the real him. The Mark that nobody else got to see. To the world; his friends, your professors and fellow classmates, Mark was an extremely outgoing, talkative and an all-around guy. He had this aura about him; a kind of confidence that made people gravitate toward him. 

He portrayed himself to be such a dominant and superior individual but when it was just the two of you, he could turn in to the biggest ball of fluff. Although he didn’t say it, he never had to. It was obvious that Mark was whipped for you, and you were hoping by the end of tonight you’d prove to him that you felt the same exact way. 

“What is it?” Once he got to a stoplight, he turned and looked at you with an unidentifiable look on his face before shrugging indifferently. “Is it alright if I come over tonight? I kinda don’t want to let you go just yet.” You could tell it took him a lot of courage to ask you something he knew you’d probably say no to. Hearing that he wanted to spend more time with you sent warmth to your cheeks. How could you say no to him knowing that he wanted to stay with you just a little while longer? Especially because you had an idea of what was going to happen as soon as you both reached your place. “Hmm, I don’t know. I’m actually kinda tired. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Oh—uh—yeah, sure. That’s fine.” His nose sullen demeanor pulled at your heartstrings and you found yourself reaching over to humorously pinch his cheek. 

“I’m fucking with you Mark. Of course you can come over. You can even stay the night if you’re too tired to drive home. I washed your clothes from the last few times.” He nodded in agreement and the small grin that was slowly growing on his face from the change in your tone caused you to mirror his expression. Just a couple of minutes later, he was pulling up to your apartment and ran over to your side to open the door for you. It was his actions that proved to you that he harbored romantic feelings for you and it always made you feel almost childlike. 

You couldn’t explain the way Mark made you feel. But all you knew, was that nobody else has ever made you feel so important, so needed; wanted—loved and it scared you because you were sure nobody ever could. He helped you out of the passenger seat and grabbed at your hand; not giving you any time to process anything before pulling you towards the lobby. 

Out of all the skin ship the two of you shared, holding hands with Mark had to be your favorite. He had such pretty fingers; they were so long and skinny and his hand practically swallowed your tiny ones whole. You always felt so safe with him and you could feel the confession of love for him at the tip of your tongue. When he saw you walking towards the elevators, he let out a snicker and you rolled your eyes; you knew exactly what he was laughing at from past experiences and you weren’t having it. 

“What now Tuan?”

“Nothing—it’s nothing—you live on the second floor yet you always take the elevator. You are the definition of lazy—what the hell do you do in your free time? Bench press your television? Your biceps are getting bigger and your punches are harder—okay I’ll stop. I just thought it was cute but fine—be an asshole.” 

The bickering stopped right as you reached your apartment and you made your way in with Mark trailing right behind you. He’s been over to your place a few times, so he knew where everything was and he even had a few of his things scattered throughout your apartment. A couple of his jackets were in your closet, he had a pair of shoes on the shoe rack and there was his shampoo and body wash in your shower. You knew he wouldn’t leave all his things over at your place if you were just someone he was messing around with. 

“Thirsty?” He shook his head in disagreement before throwing himself on your couch and turning on the television. You on the other hand wanted to give yourself some time to prepare what you were going to tell him. 

Mark, I love you. You mean a lot to me. I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time these last few months but thank you for not giving up on me—us these last few months. I’m ready now. I’m yours if you’ll have me. 

You wanted to say it all, but you felt as if you were going to throw up just thinking about it. “Hurry up over there, I’m lonely.” You took in a deep breath before making your way back in to the living room. 

It was now or never y/n, whatever happens, happens. 

If he didn’t end up feeling the same way, then you could just kick him out and pretend as if none of this happened but deep down you knew there was no way you could ever forget this; forget him. There was no way. Mark was tattooed on your heart and etched in to parts of your soul that you were so scared of what would happen to you if he were to end your relationship. You took a seat at the end of the couch, giving yourself some space away from him but he wasn’t having it. He got up from his spot on the couch to reach out for you and pulled you on top of his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he placed his chin on top of your shoulder. 

No matter how many times you’d find yourself in this position with him, you could never stop the blush that always seemed to grow on your cheeks at the close proximity. 

“Mark.” He hummed in curiosity against your neck and waited for your response before saying anything. “Can I ask you something?” The nod against your cheek made you giggle; his stubble tickled as it rubbed against your recently shaved skin. 

“What are we? Better yet, what am I to you. Like—what do I mean to you?” Feeling him pull away as soon as those words fell from your lips worried you. You knew it was too good to be true. There was no way Mark could ever look at you in the way that he wanted to. Tears were brimming at your eyelids and you were so upset with yourself from ruining things. Right as you were about to try and take back what you had just asked, you were being thrown on to the couch as he roughly brought his lips to yours. He brought his hands up to your face and cupped both of your cheeks; his mouth felt hot on yours as he molded your lips together perfectly. 

His kisses never failed to send your body to flames and it felt as if electricity was running through your veins. Mark deepens the kiss; his lips were chapped but tasted like fried chicken and beer; a combination you were used to seeing how that was his favorite food and alcoholic beverage pairing. He licked and sucked on both your top and bottom lips before he brought your tongue in between his teeth. To your dismay, he pulled away to catch his breath and placed his forehead against yours while plopping himself on top of you. 

“Mark, get off of me! You’re so heavy you ass—“

“You’ve never complained about being a bottom before—will you stop hitting me? Why aren’t you this physical in bed? Anyways, before you ruin the mood with your brash commentary, if it wasn’t already obvious, I have feelings for you and to sum it all up, I love you. I know why you’re afraid of love and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but you can trust me. I hope you know that and I hope you do or at least plan on learning how to. My feelings for you are sincere. I don’t know exactly when my little crush on you turned in to this beautiful thing called love, but I love the effect it has on me. I love the effect you have on me. You mean so much to me y/n and if you give me the chance, I’d love to be yours. I’ll take good care of you. I promise.” 

He brought his pinky out to yours and you looked up at him to make sure his expressions matched his words. You stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth and twisted your pinkies together. 

“Okay. Let’s do this.” You tried to push him off of you but he gave you a knowing look and made it even harder for you to try and escape.

“Mark—“

“You didn’t tell me how you feel yet. You’re not going anywhere baby. I know you love me too, you just have to say it.” Hearing the term of endearment was going to take some getting used to, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like how it sounded coming from his pretty lips.

“Wow, cocky aren’t we? Bold of you to assume that I love you. Where’d you get that idea?”

“I don’t know if you are aware of this, but when you doze off sometimes you murmur things. Maybe it’s your conscience but I swear I heard you confessing what I’m assuming is your feelings for me, how thankful you are for me and how you’d love to be mine—“ you covered his mouth to prevent anything else from coming out and hid your face in the crook of his neck to prevent him from seeing how crazy he was driving you. 

“Whatever! I love you! There? You happy? Oh, and I just—before I say anything this is going to be the only time I’m ever going to say sappy shit so listen closely. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for being so patient with me and not running away no matter how much of a dick I was. You mean the world to me Mark and I really don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I hope that getting to love you every day is enough to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me in the last few months. You’re amazing, and I love you.” He grinned down at you and you could feel butterflies growing in your tummy the longer he looked at you with so much love and adoration. 

“I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that. Now kiss me.”

You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart My nerves all jumpin', actin' like a fool Well, your kisses they burn, but my heart stays cool

Well, Romeo and Juliet Samson and Delilah Baby you can bet A love they couldn't deny My words say split But my words they lie 'Cause when we kiss, ooh Fire

Ooh fire Hot kisses like fire Burn me up with fire I like what you're doin' now, Fire Touchin' me with fire Touchin' me, burnin me with fire Take me home Fire Kisses like fire

[redbokuto]

Awaited encounter~ part 11

A knock on the door made me stir awake. My blue eyes settled on the door at the front of the room while it opened at a slow rate. A mop of pure brown hair came into view, next light green eyes. “Good morning Akashi, all the other kids woke up already. Are you feeling any better?”

I turned to face the woman, my feet hanging off the hard bed I’ve been sleeping in for months. “Yes Marry, I just feel a little sick that’s all.” I replied while tilting my head towards the window.

With a tiny smile, the woman nodded and walked into the room. She placed a plastic tray on the communal desk and took a seat in one of the other beds. I have been in an orphanage for almost half a year.

The transition between having everything and having nothing was still taking it’s toll on me. Though… I still have something.

“Would you like me to stay with you today Akashi?” Marry asked me. Marry is the head of the orphanage, she is a very nice woman who treats kids well. All the workers here are nice, it makes my dim situation a little brighter.

The place is small, with only seven or so kids crowding the area. The kids here seem ok as well, but of course none have my attention.

“No, it’s ok, I like being alone.” I muttered back. Marry gave me a worried look, it’s the same look she has been giving me since I first came here. She placed her hand on my mostly white hair and stroked it.

The shock of my parents’ death caused my raven locks to turn white. Slowly, the white hair is being pushed out by my black roots. I kinda like the look though… It reminds me of a certain someone.

Marry removed her hand, her eyes straining to hold back tears. She cleared her throat, “ah yes of course.” Her loss of weight made the bed shift as she headed towards the door.

Before she left, she gave me one more glance. “Akashi… there is someone interested in adopting you.”

The news made a sudden pain spark in my stomach. It felt as if someone took my stomach and churned the acids out of it. Marry flinched, but before she could run to my aid, I spoke. “Later. Let’s talk about this later.”

After that, the brunette left me alone with my thoughts. I sat by the window, watching the sun inch across the sky. A few kids would pass by my window. Either to get a ball or because they were playing tag around the large house.

When night came, the kids returned to the room, a few spoke to me. I was too tired to be snippy. I guess to them I looked sick, pale, getting closer and closer to death.

I hated it. I hated the pity and attention they gave me. Every second of it.

Soon enough, everyone went to their designated beds to sleep. I stayed on mine, staring at the same window. Marry thinks I do this because the night sky attracts me, but it wasn’t the night sky.

A pair of golden orbs reflected in the glass. I blinked a few times before realizing who it was. With shaky hands, I opened the window. Everyone was asleep so I had to be as quiet as possible.

Soft winds pressed against my face, causing my eyes to squeeze shut. “Kou…” I mumbled while opening them. The gray-haired boy smiled at me, “are you coming or what?”

With an eager nod, I crawled out the window and stepped outside. Me and Kou have been sneaking out ever since I’ve gotten here. The fact that the two of us haven’t been caught yet is a miracle.

We only explore outside on the weekends, so Kou won’t be too tired for school. I stumbled on the grass, trying to muster up the strength to walk. “Akashi… are you ok?”

“Yes.” I huffed out once I was stable. “Do you want to go to the lake?” Kou nodded with a smile. The both of us skipped across the dead road.

Kou talked my ear off as he always did. He talked about his sisters, his mom. Kou loves his mom more then anything. After his dad passed away about a year ago, he got especially close with his mom.

The both of us took a seat on the edge of the lake. Stars flooded the sky, reflecting on the crystal-clear water of the lake. Small flowers swayed in the cool breeze while fireflies flew past us.

“What’s with that look Kou?” I asked when I realized his stare. Kou blinked a few times before reaching down to touch my head. His touch has felt different ever sense the car crash. I bet it’s because of how sick I’ve been feeling.

Kou rested his body next to mine, not taking his hand off my head. “I- I love your hair Akashi.”

I blushed a bit before pulling at a string of my locks. It was down to my shoulders since I never bother to cut it. “Oh…” Even though the white in my hair is caused by the pain I suffered all those months ago. I can’t get over the fact it reminds me of Kou’s.

“Yes… I think you look beautiful.” My eyes widen at the smile Kou made when saying those words. It made my body tremble with an emotion I couldn’t place.

A finger swiped over my cheek, smudging a tear I didn’t realize fell. “It’s a good thing Akashi. Don’t cry over it.”

Kou’s words only made more tears swell in my eyes. I get compliments about my looks all the time, but from Kou it’s different. I don’t know why it’s different. Why it makes my nerves flare and my stomach tighten. It just does.

Soft hairs tickled my neck when Kou laid his head on my shoulder. “I don’t like when you cry Akashi, even if it’s happy tears. It’s because I care about you so much.” The gray-haired boy settled his arm on my shoulder while he continued to speak.

“I care about you a lot, Akashi… more than anything you know? I want to keep you safe, but I couldn’t do that. I know you think it’s stupid… it is stupid but. Sometimes I feel like your accident, with your parents… I blame it on me. I know what you’re thinking, I know what you’re going to say. But I do, ok?”

My tears dried on my cheeks as I let Kou talk. I don’t blame him for the accident, none of it is his fault. If anything, the reason I am here today is because of Kou. He is the only reason I am still standing.

“What do you think that means Kou?” I asked, interrupting him suddenly. The gray-haired boy rose a brow, “what?”

I tilted my head towards the stars, taking in their beautiful glow. “If there is something in this world you can’t live without, what is that called?”

Kou hesitated before answering, “I don’t know Akashi, you’re suppose to be the vabulary person.”

“Vocabulary.” I corrected with a small smile.

“See?!” Kou laughed, pulling me closer to him.

“I see. What if you needed something so much that it hurts when you’re not around it? This is a vague explanation, but can you name something in your life that is like that? Maybe a bond.” I asked, turning my head towards Kou for his answer.

The gray-haired boy rubbed his chin with his free hand with a puzzled expression. “I hurt when I’m not around my sisters, when I’m not around my mom.”

My smile grew, “see I think that’s lov-“

“I also hurt when you aren’t around.” Kou finished. My body froze, staring at Kou with a bewildered expression. “Wh-what? You do too?”

Kou looked down at me, “of course. I miss you a lot even though we see each other often. When I am far from you, I hurt. Do you hurt when I am not around you?”

“W-well not exactly.” I mumbled with embarrassment creeping on my cheeks.

Kou frowned, his eyes falling towards the ground. “Oh...”

The pain in his voice made my stomach tighten. “Yes.” I admitted, biting my lip and hoping It would cheer him up. It was true, whenever Kou leaves me, it feels like the colors in the world dim. Sometimes it scares me.

“You love me Akashi?” Kou asked. His golden eyes glowed in excitement. He pulled my body closer to his, making a surprised gasp leave my lips. “Don’t say it too loud.” I whispered.

Kou chuckled, “I love you too.” Those words lifted a weight off my chest. I sighed in relief before closing my eyes and letting Kou hug me for just a little longer.

A few minutes past and I decided to go back to the house. Bokuto walked me to it. I couldn’t go through the window I came out of, it’s too high. There is a window in the hallway that I can squeeze through.

Bokuto normally follows me in until we reach the bedrooms. Somehow, he never gets caught.

Both of us came into the house carefully, but I noticed a light was on. Curiosity got the better of me. I pressed my back against the wall and saw Marry talking to another older woman. Marry handed the woman a file, the file had my name on it.

“He’s a great kid.” Marry stated. Her smile turned into a sad one when the woman took the papers from her hand. “But.”

But? Now my attention was fully locked in. I could feel Bokuto pull against the sweater I was wearing but I wouldn’t budge. For some reason, I couldn’t look away.

“After the accident he had some mental damage along with his physical.” The room in the air grew stale as the stranger holding my papers placed them to the side. “The voice?” She asked.

Marry nodded, “even after six months… Keiji… still hears a voice. Sometimes I can even see him talking to it. But… no matter how hard I try to look and see who he’s talking to, no one is ever there.”

“What?” Marry’s head snapped to my direction. Her sad expression was replaced by pure horror. She jittered out of her seat, as well as the woman sitting across from her. “Keiji? How- why are you still up?”

My lips quivered as I turned my head to face Kou, “Y-You can’t see him?” I shot my finger in Kou’s direction before turning back to Marry. Her eyes wandered around but they couldn’t land on Kou.

That is when everything clicked in my head at once. Why Kou has never been caught, how we were able to sneak around so much. Why his touch feels so different.

I stepped back away from Kou subconsciously. All this information made my head throb.

“Keiji please calm down.” Kou said. The more I stared at him, the more I saw the truth. Kou’s body seemed to fade in front of my eyes. Now the boy I knew for years, my only best friend… the only person I had left looked like a ghost.

“of course. I miss you a lot even though we see each other often. When I am far from you, I hurt.”

Those words were fake?

“I care about you a lot, Akashi… more than anything you know?”

Those words were fake….

“I love you too.”

No one said those words.

Everything came together… and I wish it never did. “Get away from me!” I screamed, not just towards Kou but towards everyone. I couldn’t even open my eyes; I was too scared I would see Kou vanish completely.

“Go away! Go away! Leave me alone!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, covering my ears as my body fell to the ground.

The pain in my head grew as I thought back to the past six months. All of it was a lie. None of it was real. My frame jerked multiple times as I felt my consciousness slip away. I could hear Marry’s voice screaming to call 911. I could hear the rumble of other people’s footsteps as they entered the room.

But I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t want to hear any of it. I only wanted to hear one person. The one person I still had left in this world. I wanted to hear the one person I still loved. But I couldn’t

He is gone… and I’ll never be able to hear him say those words to me ever again.

[blondeblackwidow]

I was the request for Ben teasing reader for dating Poe bcs of the similarities with their father, if it’s this one you want the prompt for, maybe something like “can I just remind you, that you killed him” “and yet you’re the one who’s dating him, i think we know who has the real daddy issues here” and Rey kinda chips in with “He was a spice runner as well” “yea and he was a WHAT?”

New Beginnings ( Poe x Solo!Reader )

prompt:  I was the request for Ben teasing reader for dating Poe bcs of the similarities with their father, if it’s this one you want the prompt for, maybe something like “can I just remind you, that you killed him” “and yet you’re the one who’s dating him, i think we know who has the real daddy issues here” and Rey kinda chips in with “He was a spice runner as well” “yea and he was a WHAT?”

a/n: So, funny story, you weren’t the anon I was looking for, but literally this is so cute of a prompt I grabbed my laptop and wrote it in under an hour. Enjoyyyyy!

tw: mentions of character death, heavy drinking. 

wc: 1273

I think this is spoiler free? I changed the TROS ending because it worked better.

The first time you hug Ben again is on the ramp of the Falcon. Your fathers ship smells like an old friend and you can barely stand when he takes you into his arms. Your parents might be gone, but your brother is home. That night, there’s a celebration to end all celebrations. He stays in the back, mostly just watching the dancing and partying. He turns and he sees you in a lip lock with whom he recognizes as Commander, no, General Poe Dameron, his eyebrow quirks, this was news to him. It’s a pretty celebratory kiss at that, and Ben feels gross watching it. He sees Rey walking towards him like a drop of golden sun.

Most members of the Resistance hesitate around him, and that’s fine, he’s done more than enough to earn their distrust. But Rey makes him feel welcome, feel accepted in the way he always longed for. She notices his face immediately, and turned her head to see what's got him all worked up, and sees you in the arms of your pilot.

“She didn’t tell you?” Rey laughs. “They’ve been together for ages.” 

“Didn’t really get a chance.” Ben shifts uncomfortably. “Is he good to her?” 

“Yeah, he really loves her. He never shuts up about her quite honestly.” Ben rolls his eyes. Of course the one person in the Galaxy his baby sister falls in love with, is one of the few people he’s personally interrogated. Nothing in Ben Solo’s life was ever easy.

Poe, on the other hand, was drunk, and paying no mind to your brothers facial expressions. He grew up on stories of Kes and Shara being disgustingly in love after the fall of the Empire, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t spend all of tonight with one hand on you at all times, or both hands, or his mouth, or any other part of him for that matter.

“Poe knock it off.” He was nibbling your ear as the ground invasion team was relaying the battle for those in the air. 

“That’s General Dameron to you.” He whispered in your ear. It was hot, but now's not the time, so you smack him in the ribs. “Ouch, that hurt.” He folds his bottom lip over, and begins to act like he is about to cry and walks away from you. He walks by a crate filled with more rum and he grabs a bottle. Only to have it snatched from his hand by you. 

“You’re done.” You pop open the cap and take a drink. 

“But, me and the other pilots were gonna play some drinking games out by the lake.” Poe frowned. “I’m seriously, just fine.” 

“That’s… That’s a bad idea for so many reasons.” You laughed and kept walking, knowing he’d trail after you. You stop after a few steps and turned around, and he walked right into you. He recovered by kissing you rather intimately and you pulled away.

“I’m going to go talk to my brother.” Poe inhaled. “No, no buts.” You sighed. “I understand he’s done some bad things to you, so you are welcome to go talk with your squad and I will join you later.” Poe nodded. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just too new, I will talk to him, eventually.” He sighed, feeling guilty. 

“I don’t blame you, just with the Emperor gone, I feel like I have my brother back.” You gave him one last kiss. “Go have fun, I’ll come find you.” You gave him a light shove and beelined for your brother. You gave Rey a hug upon greeting.

“I’ll give you two some time.” She smiled and went to walk away. 

“Rey, please make sure he does not drown along with the rest of our squadron.” Rey laughed.

“Of course.” And with that, she was gone. 

“I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.” Ben broke the silence between you two.

“Oh, yeah.” You smiled like young school girl. “We got together after he got back from Jakku.” Ben’s heart hurt, he knew that he caused the nasty circumstances that created your relationship. His heart filled with hope as well, maybe if one bad thing he did could make something so pure, maybe he could find a home in the light as well.

“He reminds me of dad.” You whipped your head to face your brother. “What?! You know what they say about women who date men like their fathers.” You rolled your eyes and laughed.

“You are NOT implying that I have daddy issues, Ben.” 

“Well I’m just saying…” He trailed off, smiling. He missed his birth name. “It just wouldn’t be that far fetched with our upbringing.”

“If anyone has daddy issues, Ben, it’s definitely you.” You handed him your bottle, and he took a drink. “Since you, uh, killed him.” You watched as he almost spat out the whole drink. 

“Wow, didn’t know we were dishing that out tonight.” Ben glared at you, and you just flashed your obnoxious little sister smile. “God you are his daughter, the sense of humor is just a carbon copy.” 

“You’re the one who looks like him.” Ben laughed, harder than he has in a while.

“You know how I know I won this little match.” He started. “You’re getting those little wrinkles around your eyes that mom used to get.” 

“I cannot believe this.” You rolled your eyes again, before noticing Rey was walking over with your boyfriend, who looked surprisingly sober. “Hey, my love.” You greeted, and Poe laced his arm around your waist. “This is my brother Ben.” 

“It’s nice to be formally introduced.” Ben smiled, always his mother’s son with that answered. 

“I’m Poe.” He reached out and offered his hand, and Ben shook it. It was tense, but it was a start.

“Ben was just comparing you to our dad.” You changed the subject, and Poe’s eyebrows shot to his forehead. Rey began laughing. 

“Well, it was your piloting, and your attitude..” Ben trailed off, trying to not offend Poe.

“The fact that he was a Spice Runner….” Rey chimed in, and Ben’s serious facade wore off. He turned to you, in full big brother mode. 

“You’re dating a Spice Runner?!” 

“Former, thank you.” Poe interjected, you just watched as your boyfriend and brother scrambled back and forth. “You were a Sith Lord, we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of.” This earned a laugh from Ben. You leaned your head against Poe’s shoulder, watching the people you cared for most start to get along. 

“I’m going to get another drink.” You pressed a kiss to Poe’s cheek and excused yourself, Rey following behind you. Ben looked over at Poe. 

“I-I didn’t mean any offense.” He was unsure, this was new territory for him, he wasn’t used to feeling so exposed in conversation. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Look, I’m not okay with a lot that’s happened, war or not, Emperor or not. It’s not an easy thing for any of us.” His eyes settled on you in the crowd. “But I love her, and I intend to marry her. So I’m going to try.” 

“That’s all any of us can do, is to try.” Ben ran a hand over his face. “She’s all I’ve got left.” He looked over at Poe. “If it matters, you have my blessing.” 

Poe nodded. “It does.” You rejoined your boys shortly after, with three bottles in your hands. 

“So I found some old Coriellian, since we were talking about dad so much.” You smiled. “To new beginnings.” You raised the bottle. 

“To new beginnings.”

[anika-ann]

The Line between Respectful and Stupid - Pt.5

Keep Calm and Stay Professional

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader       Word count: 2180

Warnings:  swearing, Steve being a dumbass

Summary: Meeting reality can be a bit harsh, Steve turns out to be as much of an ass as everyone was saying and Natasha Romanoff might deserve a life promotion.

Story Masterlist

The way back to SHIELD headquarters was silent as was the taking off. Three agents identified themselves, arriving in three different cars; you two rode in the middle one when coming to the closest private airport. During the flight, no one uttered a word – it was like Steve had no idea what to say now and you had no idea what you were allowed to say. So silence it was; and it was far from the comfortable one you were in after he had found you sleeping by his bedside.

You arrived back at Triskelion; you parted ways with a quiet nod, because hand-shake might be painful for you.  

On medical, the doctor on duty was praising the lovely stitches you had, looking honestly shocked when you told her they were Steve’s – Captain America’s. You called him his rank, because you knew where your place was and since you were back to reality, Steve seemed to realize it too. ‘Common sense’ met ‘SHIELD training of agents (over)respecting their superiors’ and this was the result.

Life went on. You returned to paper-pushing, because you had been hurt on the mission and you definitely couldn’t go back to the field since you weren’t even able to fire your gun correctly or do extensive exercise. Life went on and it was… boring and grey. The only highlight was Harry smacking your uninjured arm with a worried-slash-playful hiss of ‘I told you NOT to get shot.’ His concern was heart-warming.

It had been a week. With a little help of lady fortune, you had met Steve Rogers – correction, Captain America, Sir – three times.

The first time, he was with an agent you didn’t recognize. Yet, you couldn’t help but smile when seeing him. Your “Morning, Captain Rogers. Morning, Agent,” (because your ma’ raised you right) was almost enthusiastic, yet kept professional. The agent responded with the same greeting. Steve… gave an inconspicuous nod. You could feel your stomach drop, but tried not to read too much into it.

The second time though, he was alone. You greeted him the same way, except it was the afternoon. And Captain Rogers responded with a silent stiff nod only. Again.

The third time you saw him in your way, you honestly wanted to take another route to your office space just to avoid him. But you could tell that his companion spotted you even when they were talking business or whatever; it would look bad if you suddenly spun on your heels in the middle of the corridor and disappeared. So, you decided to be a big girl who wasn’t hurt by Captain’s indifference towards her and continued walking with a lump growing in your throat.

Your heart was practically jumping ahead of the rest of your body – that was how fast it was beating. You hoped it didn’t show.

“Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff,” you said, way quieter than was polite. Neither of them seemed to mind.

Captain Rogers gave you his typical nod of acknowledgement, making you want to scream.

Asshat! So full of himself! Arrogant dumbass!

And you had been a dumbass too of course, for not realizing right away that he had been ‘friendly’ simply because of something called ‘professional courtesy’ and ‘inconvenient circumstances’. Translated to everyday speech – because he had had to and you had been the only person in the twenty-mile radius. Now, he was the legend who wasn’t mingling with ordinary agents and apparently didn’t have the decency to return a hello.  

‘My ma’ raised me right’ my ass, Rogers.’

The shocking part came when Agent Romanoff reciprocated your greeting with a smile that looked too suspicious on her lips.

“Agent 19.”

So… she knew who you were.

That’s not concerning at all.

The moment you passed the golden pair – and of course, why would Captain America even spare one glance at you aka no-name-chic from nowheresville when he was used to the company of the Black Widow aka the gorgeous badass Natasha Romanoff –, you released a shaky breath, not bothering to hide your shocked expression at the woman addressing you.

Later, you would come to conclusion they had been going through the failed mission you and Captain had been to and their briefing had been very thorough. After that, you didn’t give it a second thought.

What you didn’t know was what followed the short interaction between the three of you. You never saw the pair of legendary agents circle the corner, you never heard and saw the gorgeous badass Natasha Romanoff smack Steve’s arm with a surprising force for such a thin woman.

“You’re a dumbass, Rogers, you know that? She’s kinda cute.”

“Don’t I know it…” he mumbled, stroking his bicep, seemingly hurt.

“Which part?” she hissed, wondering if she should just ask you out for him. It would be almost like a mission, you two meeting an asset… an ass-et in this particular case, because she couldn’t believe this blond idiot.

Really? Ignoring you despite liking you, because you could potentially work together on an assignment again somewhere far in an unforeseeable future and he didn’t want you two to potentially be compromised?

Geez, Rogers.

Steve sighed. “Both, Romanoff. Both.”

Good, she thought. At least he was admitting to being stupid. Maybe he wasn’t a completely lost cause after all. Maybe he just needed few more pushes.

“SHIELD’s rules are stupid.“

You looked up from the report you were re-reading after your friend, blinking at the man towering above you. He stood there in front of your desk like a righteous angel of exasperation, jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket as if he was your average fellow citizen.

The man who was occupying unfair amount of space in your head and hadn’t spoken to you since leaving the cabin-slash-safe-house.

“St- Captain,” you corrected yourself as you imagined there were people listening to you and as you reminded yourself that this indeed was Captain Rogers talking with a low-life agent, which he clearly was fully aware of now. “What-“

“And by SHIELD’s rules being stupid I mean me. So I guess you can add ‘dumbass’ to that list of yours.”

Your knee-jerk reaction – after you realized what he was talking about – was to oppose that it was not your list by any means. But you wisely kept your mouth shut and took a quick survey of who was watching this surreal exchange instead.

You saw Wendy sitting in the opposite boot watching Steve’s bottom (no blame here, sister), Jack in the corner with his eyebrow raised, Kate who was clearly not concerned by her technically-superior hearing the music blasting from her headphones as she was listening to YouTube videos and swaying in the rhythm, and of course Harry, the retiring know-it-all-saw-it-all (the nice kind with funny stories from the field), was sitting at his desk, arms crossed on his chest, an amused grin on his face.    

You escaped his gaze, looking back at Steve wide-eyed.

“I’m— sorry, Sir? I don’t think I understand.”

“The rule is that SHIELD operatives shouldn’t be involved with each other. And while it might be true that it could compromise them in the field, that rule is just ridiculous, because we’re not even on the same team and the chances that we will need to work together again are slightly above zero.”

You stared at him speechless. What was he saying again? Your brain was very slow in processing his words. He clenched his jaw when you gave him no actual reaction and he scratched the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable. He lowered his voice when he spoke again.

“Sorry. That’s not at all how I wanted this to go.” He squatted then, so you were on the same eye-level since you were still sitting in the chair, too dumbstruck to do anything else than stare and occasionally stutter a word or two. Steve gulped as if he was the one nervous. Honestly, you weren’t sure what you were then. “I’m sorry. Would you like to have dinner with me? Or coffee? Or anything really?”

That did it. Your jaw fell on your desk, the words feeling like a bucket of cold water splashing in your face. The mixture of awe, warm feeling in your chest and dizziness took over you; in the end, disbelief won though. Because honestly, no matter how adorable Steve Rogers was now, crouching by your desk, watching you with his deep cerulean eyes, you couldn’t believe his nerves.

That was how he thought he could play it? Ignore you for a week, barely nodding at you in a greeting when meeting you in the corridors, and then just walk in like the king of the world, all the womankind falling to his feet?

No thank you, I have some self-respect left.

Though… for him, you might forget it.

No, nope.

But-

The inner fight between the urge to kiss him senseless for showing up with such proposition and to kick him in his balls, because no, mister, this is not the way the world works, not even for you, was raging in you, resulting in a stutter.

“I-uhm… you… you didn’t even say hi for a week, what— what changed?”

That was good, right? You deserved an explanation at least? That was perfectly reasonable, unlike someone else’s behaviour?

He gulped, his expression shifting from a puppy look to a kicked puppy look.

Damn, my heart. The world was so unfair, allowing some people to soften others’ anger just by being cute…

“I know. And I’m sorry. I thought that we shouldn’t talk together, because we weren’t allowed to… get involved and I needed time process all that. That’s part of the reason why I’m stupid. Dumb, I mean. Dumbass.”

You couldn’t help it. The corners of your lips twitched. How could one be mad at Steve Rogers, who was willingly calling himself a dumbass and being so sweet? You were such a weak creature, dammit.

“Yes,” you whispered shyly, the need to bite your lip as your nerves worked physically hurting you.

Steve’s Adam’s apple bobbed and he frowned a little; you only realized then that he couldn’t possibly have an idea if you were just approving of him eating humble pie or saying yes to his… date proposition? You would have thought it was just a friendly offer, but he had been the one to call it ‘get involved’, okay?

Twice.

Also, it was to a bit of both, the yes you were saying. Not that you had the heart to admit it, yet.

“I mean— yes, I’d like that.”

His lips spread in a beautiful grin that sent your heart racing, especially in the combination with his happily twinkling blue eyes.

“Swell!” he exclaimed, almost making you choke. Who the hell was still using that word? No, don’t answer that. “I’ll bring flowers.”

You chuckled at that, incredulous, remembering he had said he should have bought them to you before seeing too much skin of yours. The euphoria of what was happening had nearly the same effect on you as the pain-meds a week ago. It made you brutally honest and babbling.  

“Planning on getting so far on the first date, Steve?”

The tips of his ears turned red as he realized what conclusion you must have come to. His eyes widened in horror. Oh boy, you were about to have so much fun with getting him flustered, that was for sure.

“I didn’t mean it like-“

And because you were honest, babbling, but also bold, you leaned to him over the desk before you could change your mind and pressed your lips to his cheek for a split second.

“I’m teasing, Captain. I have no doubt you’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

Utterly awed at your gesture, he smiled at you brightly. “I’ll try. Dinner on Saturday sounds good?”

“Sounds great actually. And good,” you winked at him as he rose to his feet and you handed him your card out of habit, doubting he needed it – after all, he could just find you here if he hadn’t somehow found your phone number already. “If you try hard enough, I might add ‘gentleman’ to the list.”

He left you to your desk duties with a laugh. You caught a glimpse of Harry showing you a thumps-up as your gaze followed Steve’s figure out of the door and you blushed.

The moment you couldn’t see Steve anymore, you hid your face in your palms, giggling like a schoolgirl. You didn’t care what your co-workers would think – and yes, you noticed that Kate had turned off the music in favour to listen your conversation. It didn’t matter.

You were having a date on Saturday. With the world’s first superhero dumbass hard kind-ass smartass tight-ass tight ass.

And boy, were you excited. You needed to scratch the tight-ass from the list, because man, Steve Rogers didn’t mind breaking the rules and crossing the lines when they were stupid.

To be honest, you didn’t mind either. Not at all. After all, it would be with the blessing of your superior. And that had to mean something, right?

Steve Rogers Masterlist

I couldn’t help but hint Natasha’s involvement, because ‘matchmaker Widow’ for the win and Steve-Natasha friendship goals.

I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it. Thank you for reblogs and likes and, of course, for reading in the first place. Kudos to you all. :-*

Tags:  @mermaidxatxheart​

[raineydaywrites]

Nesting, Chapter 9

link to ao3 in the reblog

Fic Summary: Taako and Lup are determined to kick ass at going to university, even though their childhood education was anything but traditional.Then, Taako finds himself in a situation that threatens to undermine all their hard work.But there's plenty of university students that have kids! Really, this is just another chance to show how much better they are at everything they do- they can definitely manage to graduate and raise a kid at the same time.

Chapter Summary: This chapter has it all! Panic attacks, Magnus cameo, baby clothes, crushes, siblings messing with each other! Also, yeah, this definitely moving into some solid Lupcretia.

Miscarriage. How had that never occurred to him? He should have thought about that.

It wasn't likely, he tried to remind himself. It probably wasn't going to happen.

He should focus on other things instead. Like school work. The rest of his life wasn't going away just because his mind decided to go crazy over something that wasn't even happening.

Despite the rationality of his thoughts, Taako couldn't bring himself to actually follow through on them. His mind kept spiraling. He couldn't stand the thought of losing the thing now. He'd finally let himself actually want it!

He was so deep in thought that he forgot himself and where he was- namely, in public- for a little bit. It took the realization that someone was speaking to him to bring himself back.

"Hey, buddy? You okay?"

Taako startled backwards away from the stranger speaking to him, but he was already in the corner of the tiny booth in the coffee shop, so there wasn't really anywhere to go.

"Fine," he managed, watching the human in front of him carefully.

The guy was about the same height as he was, but he was a lot broader. Clearly more of a physical type of a guy than a magic user or anything else. He had reddish hair and big, worried eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, as those worried eyes looked Taako over. "You seemed kind of out of it there."

"I'm good, homie." Taako waved a hand dismissively, despite the way that his mind was screaming and his fingers were trembling.

And oh. Great. He wasn't sure if it was the anxiety or the morning sickness or some dreadful combination of both, but his stomach had started churning too.

"Did you come here with anybody? Can I... help you somehow?" the guy asked, looking around worriedly as if someone would pop up to relieve him of this duty he'd taken on himself for no apparent reason.

"Nah, man, you're good," Taako insisted. This guy needed to fuck off before Taako puked on him.

"Hey, just breathe, okay?" the guy said, and oh. When had he started to have trouble with that? Taako wasn't sure, but he was definitely breathing too fast now, the oxygen not quite getting through to his brain like it was supposed to.

He did so, because even if this guy was intruding on his personal shit, he wasn't wrong about the breathing thing.

"You wanna get out of here? Go somewhere quieter?" the guy asked, watching Taako carefully.

Taako nodded, because he did. Started to gather his shit, kept dropping stuff, godsdamn he was too clumsy. He had to get that under control before the baby got here- if he didn't fuck it up first.

The guy leaned over and started to help, holding Taako's things with steady hands.

"Thanks," Taako choked out.

"No problem," the guy smiled. "Is it okay if I touch you? Just to help you get somewhere else."

Taako shrugged, and the guy lifted one arm protectively over Taako's shoulder, but didn't let it drop to actually touch him. He led Taako carefully away from the cafe, finding an empty room and ushering them both inside.

Taako planned to say something, but before he could, his stomach started protesting again, and he was very glad to see that the room had a trash can nearby.

"Ew," the man who'd helped him muttered, seemingly torn between stepping closer to help and leaving.

Taako snorted, amused by the reaction. He seemed a decent guy, but Taako could hardly blame him for being grossed out.

"It's chill, my dude. You don't gotta do anything," Taako said, leaning back against the wall.

"Okay," the guy said, offering a sympathetic smile. "You still gonna try to say you're fine? Cause that must have been a hell of panic attack to make you puke."

"Nah, not really," Taako deflected. "I mean, yeah, unpleasant, but actually, this," he gestured to trash and wrinkled his nose, "was just morning sickness. Not nerves. Thanks, though, for checking and whatever."

"Oh. Uh, are you feeling better now, though? On both fronts? If you need to vent, dude, I'm cool with that. No pressure or anything. Just maybe easier to vent to a stranger, ya know?" the guy asked. "Or I could... get you some... water?" He sounded painfully unsure of what to do, in a way that was endearing, not that Taako would let it show.

It was awful sweet of him to offer, and he might have a point. If it didn't work, not like Taako ever had to see the dude again.

Still, he only shrugged in response, not loving the idea of opening up to a stranger- especially considering the guy had already seen him so vulnerable already.

"I'll get you that water," the guy said, hurrying out of the room.

Taako watched him go, not really expecting him to come back again. The guy had been nice and helped him out, and he'd repaid the kindness by being surly, so he could hardly blame him. Not like it mattered anyway. Taako didn't need some stranger poking his nose in his business.

Still, it was harder to hold off the nerves without the presence of another person. He wished he'd asked the doc more about any signs that anything had gone wrong. Better to know that as soon as it started right? If he noticed fast enough, maybe they could do something to save the thing.

Unless there was no chance of saving it. Then maybe it would be better to live in blissful ignorance for a while.

Taako realized that he'd pulled his knees up to his chest and reminded himself to breathe. This was hormones and senseless worries, nothing more. He was fucking up his bad bitch image by having anxiety and he needed to stop it.

The door opened back up, and the guy came back. He had a bottle of water in his hands, and he handed it to Taako.

"Drink that. And breathe, okay?" he said.

"How do you know what to do?" Taako asked. He’d meant for it to sound more like doubt in the guy’s skills then it did, but he figured the point would still get across.

“My sister gets panic attacks a lot! I help her sometimes!” The guy apparently didn’t get the point, as he spoke with pride and smiled widely at Taako.

Well, it was whatever. If the guy took it as genuine gratitude, more power to him. Didn’t hurt Taako.

He stood up again after a moment, still feeling a little shaky but back to himself for the most part.

“Hey, homie, thanks or whatever, but I’m good and I’m out, ‘kay?” Taako said, gathering his things.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” the guy said, still watching Taako carefully as he left the room. Taako decided to believe that he was watching his ass, instead of admitting that the guy was probably worried something would happen.

Didn’t need to be that honest with himself, after all.

“My name’s Magnus! Magnus Burnsides! I’m-“ the guy called.

“Yeah, uh, hail and well met,” Taako said, closing the door behind him.

-

He didn’t tell Lup about the incident. Why should he? What good would it do? It happened and it sucked, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

He just had to accept that things were going to suck for a while. He couldn’t do anything to change that at the moment or for the foreseeable future so he just had to deal.

When he got back to the apartment, Lup was there, digging through some bags from the store.

“Groceries?” Taako assumed, glancing into them as he passed by, prepared to help her put them away.

“Yep,” Lup agreed, but she quickly shoved one bag behind her back, refusing to let him see into it.

Taako raised an eyebrow at that, but he didn’t press it. He'd figure out what was in there sooner or later, and it would be better if Lup let her guard down first, instead of just trying to grab it out of her hands. His center of balance had been off lately, and she’d have a definite advantage at keeping shit away from him. Not about to embarrass himself like that.

As they finished up with the groceries, Lup pulled the secret bag back out.

"I was gonna wait to do anything like this, but I saw this and couldn't fucking resist," she said, reaching into the bag and pulling out a small scrap of fabric something- oh. A baby clothing- a onesie or whatever it's called. It read "My Aunt is like my Dad, but Cooler."

"You shouldn't have," Taako started. "Parasite's not gonna go out wearing such an obvious lie."

Lup scoffed, a bit of relief slipping into her expression at the fact that he didn't freak out about it.

"You really think you're gonna be able to keep up with me on the cool factor when you've got a sticky monster crawling on you and keeping you up all night? I'd love to see that," she said, setting the onesie down on the counter, and pulling out some very small socks.

"Oh my gods, those are tiny," Taako said, immediately, momentarily disregarding the first part of her comment in favor of grabbing the socks and staring, because how. How could any person be little enough to need those?

"I know!" Lup shouted. "Get this, apparently a ton of newborns are so small, these are literally too big at first."

"How?" Taako demanded. "Also- the little thing is going to be messy, yeah, but also adorable, natch, so it'll even out."

"Ehhh," Lup made a skeptical face at him. "Maybe when they're bigger, sure. But newborns are kinda ugly, not gonna lie. You can't say it, because it's rude, but they are. All scrunched up and red and shit, and they can't smile or anything either. So as long as it's this little, it's gonna be accurate."

Taako just flipped her off, digging into the bag and seeing a few other pieces of tiny, tiny clothing. Lup hadn't gotten much, and the rest was pretty plain, but it was blowing his mind how little all of it was.

He supposed that they had to be pretty little, to actually get born without killing their parent, but it was still hard to imagine.

He scooped the clothes up into his arms to put them away when it occurred to him that he had no idea where to put any of this.

"We're gonna have to move, aren't we?" He groaned.

"Yeah, probably," Lup agreed. "But that's way too far away too worry about. Just stuff it in your room for now."

Taako grumbled under his breath, but figured she had a point. Their lease wouldn't run out for months and the little guy was even further away. Still wouldn't be fun trying to move later on, because by then he'd probably have a lot more trouble with the whole 'moving around' thing.

He hadn't started to show at all yet, which was apparently normal, even if it seemed kind of weird to him. His whole fucking life had changed since he found out he was pregnant, and yet, there was still nothing to show for it. He didn't mind not being huge and awkward already, but something this big seemed like it should be noticeable.

But once it was noticeable, then he'd have to deal with reactions. Everybody he knew would be able to see it. And they'd have questions, or want to talk about it out of politeness or whatever. And strangers would be able to tell even. And they would think- who even knew what? It was going to be another layer on the bullshit sandwich.

He could handle it though. He could handle a lot of bullshit, and it had to happen for the kid to get here. And when the kid got here, that crap would be over with, and he'd have his baby. And that would be good. Probably. He hoped.

-

Lucretia figured that it might be best if she kept working with the twins on the paperwork for the child support. Now that she knew that Sebastian didn't plan on skipping out completely, it was less necessary that she play a role in the process, but it still might be the wisest decision. She had a rapport with the twins that Sebastian was lacking, and, despite everything, she actually liked seeing them. So it wouldn't be a hardship to work through this with them and relay the relevant information to her brother later.

Today, for the first time, Lucretia had been invited over to the twins' place. Lup had texted her the address of their apartment, and Lucretia was curiously looking around as she made her way over.

The place wasn't far from where the actual IPRE classes took place, which wasn't surprising. Still, it was an area that Lucretia wasn't very familiar with, and she was careful to keep track of where she was so she wouldn't find herself hopelessly lost.

It was a nice area, if definitely designed for college age kids. Lucretia and Sebastian still lived with their parents, in a completely separate part of town, and that might make it difficult for them to see the baby very often. If Seb even wanted to, and if Taako and Lup even let them.

Lucretia knew that she wanted to, at least. And she thought- hoped- she'd have a decent chance of being allowed that.

It was strange, thinking of her brother as a parent. And Seb's attitude wasn't doing anything to help that. But even if her brother never actually acted as a dad to this child, Lucretia still found herself thinking of them as family. It was irrational, maybe. There was nothing tying them other than blood, and it wasn't even a direct connection. But she couldn't shake it regardless.

The baby was her brother's kid, which meant that they were family. Family- family was important. It wasn't fair to take away the kid's only chance of accessing that part of their family just because Seb was an immature dick. And- it wasn't fair to her, either, that she cared about the baby already and she could have lost any chance of seeing them because of her brother's irresponsibility.

As she got closer to the twins' apartment, Lucretia forced herself to focus on the numbers of each address, rather than let her mind run wild.

She found the right building, and made her way inside and up to the twins' unit quickly, pausing only briefly when she arrived at the door.

It was quickly answered by Lup, who smiled brightly and grabbed Lucretia's hand to pull her inside.

Taako was in the kitchen, cooking something that smelled really good. He waved as Lup pulled Lucretia behind her into the kitchen and shoved her towards a chair, before joining her brother.

"What'd you bring us?" Lup asked, indicating the envelope Lucretia had been fiddling since she'd arrived.

"A gift," Lucretia said, pushing the envelope over.

Both twins looked at the envelope curiously, almost eerie in the similarity of their expressions, but Taako was the one to grab the envelope from the counter.

He opened it, pulling out the money inside.

"My favorite kind of gift," he said, grinning.

"Nice!" Lup agreed, looking over at Taako excitedly.

"What's the occasion?" Taako asked, pocketing the money and resuming his cooking.

"It's from Seb. You could call it the first support payment, I suppose," Lucretia explained.

"Why's he suddenly being nice?" Taako asked, turning to face Lucretia as he spoke. "He doesn't have to fork anything over yet. What's in it for him?"

"This counts for some of the support he owes during the pre-natal period. Seb decided he'd rather make a bunch of small payments than a couple big ones later on," Lucretia said. "Figured it would be easiest for everyone. He doesn't have to save up so much, you guys get cash faster."

"Best for everyone, huh?" Lup said, a little skeptically.

"Yes," Lucretia responded, exasperated. "He's not a monster, you know. If it's good for him and good for you, then he's not going to go out of his way to make things harder just to spite you guys."

Taako and Lup exchanged a quick look at her words, and Lucretia got the feeling that they were having a whole conversation without her.

"Still an ass, though," Lup muttered, finally.

"Never said he wasn't," Lucretia said, a peace offering.

The kitchen fell into silence for a moment- not quite awkward but not entirely comfortable either. Lucretia found herself tapping her fingers against the counter nervously, wishing she had a notebook to doodle in.

"Hey, now that we have more cash, we can go supplies shopping," Lup said, breaking the silence.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Taako immediately perked up at her words, excitement breaking across his features. "Time to make a bombass nursery!"

The juxtaposition of the words made Lucretia grin in amusement. But she was glad that the twins were getting excited about this. She wanted her nibling to have a good family and childhood, and it was something of a relief to see the obvious affection they twins had for them already. She liked Taako and Lup, but they didn't exactly give off mature or parental vibes. Lucretia hadn't been worried about it, exactly, but she liked the reassurance that they cared anyway.

"You know any good baby stores, Luce?" Taako asked.

Lucretia hadn't been expecting the question, but she responded eagerly.

"I do! I actually helped out on a ranking of local baby-centered supplies shops only a few months ago, so I can look over my notes from that and give recommendations."

"Ranking? For what?" Lup asked.

"I'm a writer. I do some work for a local media group. I haven't done many reviews in a while, not since I was a junior writer, but a friend asked for some help on that project," Lucretia explained, sheepish at forgetting to give context.

"Wait, how old are you? If you're already a senior writer, or whatever?" Lup asked, tilting her head curiously.

"I'm not a senior writer, just not a junior writer anymore. I've been working for them since I was sixteen and I'm nineteen now," Lucretia explained, letting a little pride slip into her voice. She was a good writer, and she knew it. She'd gotten the job as part of the youth outreach and education program, but most of the teens employed through that program were temporary hires. She was one of the few who proved herself enough to stay on longer.

"Damn, that's pretty good for a baby!" Taako said, raising a hand for a high five that Lucretia returned with a giggle.

"Thanks. But I'm not a baby, and you probably don't want to call me one," she said.

"You're nineteen. I hadn't lost all my milk teeth by nineteen. You're a baby," Taako said.

"Okay, I guess, but if I'm a baby and my brother is a year younger than me, what does that make you?" Lucretia responded.

Taako and Lup both made disgusted faces at the words, which made Lucretia laugh.

"Okay, shit, you're an adult, just don't ever remind me of that again!" Taako said, mock gagging. "I'm never fucking dating a human again, gods."

"Deal," Lucretia said, still laughing a little.

"And here I was trying to be nice," Taako said, face relaxing out of the disgust. "You're an ass too, huh? Just a sneaky one."

"Takes one to know one," Lucretia said, dry. "How'd you think I had you two figured out so fast?"

"Hey, non-assholes are boring anyway," Lup shrugged. "This way, we can actually be friends."

Lucretia smiled at the suggestion that they were friends. She wasn't a complete loner, but she hadn't made very many friendships here so far. She was glad to have more among that number.

Still, amongst the happiness was the slightest twinge of discomfort at the words. She wasn't quite sure why, and mentally prodded at the feeling, reminding herself that this was a good thing. She liked the twins and she liked spending time with them. Yes, it may be a little awkward and complicated because of the situation with Seb, but overall this was good.

The twins finished cooked, and started to plate their food. Lucretia was surprised when they made up a third plate for her, and took it from Lup gratefully.

"Thank you. This smells wonderful," Lucretia said.

"Natch! We're fucking awesome cooks," Lup boasted, and Lucretia believed it, as she took a bite and had to hold herself back from eating it too quickly.

"You certainly are," Lucretia agreed, between mouthfuls.

Taako and Lup both preened under the praise, but Lucretia only had eyes for Lup's happy expression.

Oh.

Shit.

Lucretia almost choked on her next bite as it hit her. She had a crush on Lup. And she couldn't do anything about it, because she couldn't take the risk of making things awkward with one of her nibling's only family members. Because it would be awkward, because no way would Lup feel the same. Not only was she absolutely gorgeous and amazing, but this whole conversation had proved that Lup saw her as a child and a friend, not a potential partner.

She willed herself to calm down and not react. She didn't need to say or do anything about this. It would pass as long as she reminded herself that it wasn't going anywhere. It would be fine.

"I'll make sure to send you my notes," Lucretia said, turning to Taako and changing the subject. "On the baby stores."

"Nah, actually, you should just come with," Taako responded. "I'm sure you write great and all, but I don't feel like reading all that when you can just tell us."

"I- are you sure?" Lucretia asked. "I don't mind- but it's not my apartment or my baby. I don't want to intrude."

"That's even better. You can be a neutral opinion when me and Lulu start bitching over what to get," Taako said, grinning mischievously at Lup as he said it.

"Then, yes, I suppose I can come," Lucretia agreed, trying not to think about the fact that she was agreeing to spend hours shopping for cute and domestic things with the girl she'd just realized she had a crush on. Taako would be there, and none of this was her stuff, so it would be fine.

"Nice. Me or Lu will text you with the deets, okay?" Taako said, still looking at Lup as he said it. Then- "Ow!" - the look turned into a scowl.

"Whoops! I gotta be more careful where I swing my legs, sorry 'Ko."

[poguegarbage]

Sweet but Psycho

Summary: How different would the Outer Banks be if JJ Maybank was cast as a girl?...Here is Female!JJ’s backstory in the OBX along with how I would rewrite the scene where they find the gun in the motel with this change. 

Pairing: ........Not even gonna lie here, Female!JJ and John B. would 100% happen so here it is. 

Warnings: Drinking/Alcohol, Mentions of Drug Use, Mentions of Sex (nothing graphic…just implied!), Mentions of Abuse and Trama, Physical Fighting

Word Count: 5,654

A/N: I don’t know WHAT possessed me to write this. I saw an Instagram post asking what it would be like if JJ was actually a girl in Outer Banks and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Also, tell me this song from the title wouldn’t be perfect for her?! Also, I know Amber Heard is extremely problematic....but her around circa 2011 would make such a good female!JJ

Enjoy!

Grab a cop gun kinda crazy. She's poison but tasty. People say, "Run, don't walk away"

The Outer Banks. Paradise on earth as John B. would call it, along with the other Pogues and many outsiders who came to visit for the summer and then leave. It was a place of adventure, mystery and all around good times. But while on the surface all seemed like a perfect paradise, under the waves of perfection were dangerous rip currents that threatened the carefree nature of the Pogues. 

Enter Juliana Jordan Maybank. Better known as JJ to almost everyone who knew her on the island. A Pogue in every sense of the word. She lived on the cut with her alcoholic and drug addicted father. Her mother walked out on the two of them early on in JJ’s life and really all she could remember about her was the fact that she didn’t want to take JJ with her when she left. Her father consistently blamed JJ for her mother leaving which would usually end in yelling that escalated to punches being thrown. 

She found refuge though with her friends. They never seemed to question the late night calls, random meet ups at odd hours and the occasional impromptu kegger at the beach. It was the perfect escape when she needed an excuse to get drunk or high and forget the events that happened before. 

There was Kiara, the stereotypical islander. If you needed advice on how to save the planet, she was your go to and she could usually be found at parties educating tourists. Her and JJ had been friends for a while despite the fact that she was part Kook. Kie was the person JJ went to when she needed genuine girl time...which was rare. She could recall, though, nights where she would show up to Kie’s house crying and the girl would know exactly what to do to make it better. Some nights it was smoking a blunt and eating raw cookie dough until the early hours of the morning, other nights it was braiding hair on the floor of the bedroom and ranting about boys. Either way, Kiara was always the person JJ found herself going to when she needed help. 

Pope was the next Pogue that came to mind when thinking about the group. He was the brains of the operation and was working hard this summer at earning a scholarship of some kind...JJ couldn’t remember what....she could just remember him ranting and raving about it while she helped him deliver groceries to the Kooks on Figure 8. Pope was the one JJ went to when she needed help with her homework....and by that she meant she copied Pope’s homework nearly every time. She was also thankful for Pope’s father because, no matter how much he said he couldn’t stand her, she knew that he was the father figure she lacked in her own. She felt more like an older sister to Pope than a good friend, always protective over him and ready to fist fight anyone who hurt him in any way. 

And then, there was John B....John Booker Routledge. The two had been best friends and nearly inseparable since the third grade. It all started at lunch when she stole food from the shaggy haired boy and they got into a full on fist fight in the cafeteria. It turns out when you have to spend the entire day in the principal’s office with someone, you find out you have a lot in common. The two had been best friends ever since. As the years went on, there were of course the rumors that ran through the island about the two of them. They were always denied though. That was JJ’s specialty. She would always use the phrase, “deny, deny, deny” when getting the Pogues out of trouble. That’s exactly what she did every time she was questioned about her relationship with John B. She would deny, deny and deny. 

No one had to know about the nights she spent at the Chateau after Big John went missing. No one had to know about the touches that lingered on her skin. No one had to know about the two of them waking up in a tangle of sheets in the early morning hours. No one had to know anything. John B. was there for her when no one else was. She knew that she could show up to his house at any time and be welcomed with a hug and a kiss on the head. She knew that his bed was always there when she needed a place to sleep and his shoulder was always there for her to cry into. She had been with him through thick and thin and both of them were dealing with their own problems right now. John B. was fighting with the DCS to stay on the island and JJ was fighting to even stay alive living in the same house with her father. 

The worst was the night that she showed up with a black eye and a bloody nose at the house, a sobbing mess. John B. insisted he pay her father a visit but JJ convinced him otherwise. The night ended in the way she wanted it to, laying in his bed in the Chateau under the covers with his arms wrapped tightly around her. He snored quietly into her neck as she stared out the open window at the stars and played with his hair that was falling in front of his face. She didn’t want moments like this to end but she knew the others couldn’t find out about it. 

Then, everything changed the day that Hurricane Agatha hit the island. 

The two Pogues woke up the morning after the storm hit, they had surfed the surge of the storm the night before, to assess storm damage. While John B. cleaned up the HMS Pogue and threw stray branches that landed in the boat, JJ stood on the porch and watched. She wore one of John B’s button up shirts that barely hit the tops of her thighs while she sipped one of the beers she found in the kitchen from the night before. 

“Agatha did some work, huh?” She called, leaning up against the open screen door from the porch. John B. didn’t look up from his work, throwing branches to the ground from the inside of the boat. 

“She sure did...” He mumbled, grunting as he threw one of the larger branches to the side. “I think the storm surge pushed all the crabs out on the marsh maze. All the drum are going to chase the crab.” 

“What about the DCS? Wasn’t that today?” She asked, finally putting her drink down and stepping down off the porch. She grabbed a couple of branches herself, throwing them off to the side. 

John B. laughed and shook his head, “No, they’re not going to get on the ferry today....Come on, think about it, this is God telling us to fish.” He added, pointing up to the sky. JJ rolled her eyes but she couldn’t argue with him as she walked back inside to get dressed and start the day. 

The first stop on the expedition was to pick up Pope from his father’s seafood market. The job wouldn’t be easy but they felt as though they could do it. The trip to town was just as it normally was via the water. John B. drove the HMS Pogue and JJ stood at the front, watching the people passing by on the shore and telling them good morning. 

“Hey Miss Amy,” John B. called as he waved to a woman standing on a passing dock with her husband. JJ eyed both of them as they passed. 

“Still here,” The woman called from the deck, throwing some garbage into a  trash bag from their boat. The two were silent for a bit as they passed the couple when JJ leaned in closer to John B. 

“Her husband totally looked at me,” JJ said with a slight smirk on her face. 

John B. rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I saw it. Don’t remind me.” He stated, a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

As the two came closer to town, the damage from the storm became more noticeable and it was obvious that the clean up would probably take a majority of the summer. JJ smirked again as she saw Pope standing on a nearby dock cleaning garbage like the couple had been doing before. She took a step closer to the edge of the boat, making a whooping siren noise. 

“Well, look who we have here.” She said, leaning forward onto the side of the boat with her hands. She moved her hair out of her face, running one of her hands through it to get a better look at Pope. 

“We have a safety meeting. Attendance mandatory.” John B. said into a fake intercom and JJ laughed, standing up straight again. 

“I can’t. My pop’s got me on lockdown,” Pope said, sounding defeated as he watched his friends pull up in the boat. “Why am I not surprised to see you two together this early in the morning.” Pope added, eyeing the two of his friends who looked at each other and then back to the boy on the dock. 

“Come on, Pope.” JJ said, pretending to talk into a radio like John B. had done before her. “Your dad’s a pussy, over.” She said, causing John B. to start laughing which made her start as well. 

“Oh, I heard that.” Heyward said in an angry tone as he emerged from further back down the dock.

“We need your son.” John B. chimed in. 

“Yeah, don’t you know island rules? The day after a hurricane is a free day.” She added, putting her hands on her hips and shrugging as if it was common knowledge to everyone.

“Who the hell made that up?” Heyward asked. 

“Uhm, Pentagon, I think. We have security clearance. I have a card.” She added as John B. pulled up to the dock. The comment created an argument between Pope and his father as he argued that he would do the work tomorrow and Heyward really wasn’t believing a word he was saying. 

“Get in the boat,” John B. whispered to him as he came to a stop.

“Make a run for it,” JJ added, stepping over to give room for Pope as he ran and jumped into the boat. “See? How does it feel?” JJ laughed, giving him a hug around the neck before releasing. She put on her sunglasses and found a seat at the front of the boat while Heyward’s protests from the dock began to fade out. The only thing she could really make out from the argument was Heyward yelling, “I don’t like your friends” as they fled quickly in the HMS Pogue. 

Next was Kiara who was waiting on the dock as if she knew they were coming and JJ scooted over to give her a place to sit beside her. She carried a cooler and Pope questioned if she was carrying juice boxes to which JJ asked if she was carrying her kind of juice boxes and the friends erupted in laughter. Kie carefully stepped onto the boat and confirmed that she did. 

The friends enjoyed their time together on the water, soaking in the sun and getting tipsy from the drinks in the cooler. JJ was once again convinced that she could balance on the front of the Pogue “titanic style” and call it a party trick, even though it failed and she lost her balance every time. This time though she was convinced she could do it. 

“John B., are you going to join me? I really need a Jack to my Rose.” She laughed, balancing on the very edge of the front of the boat. Pope was driving and he glanced at Kie who gave him a look about the other two. John B. reluctantly agreed as he made his way to the front of the boat. 

“You fall every single time you do this.” He pointed out, placing his hands on her hips as they did their best Titanic impression.

The good time was cut short though as the boat lurched forward and sent the two Pogues flipping and flying into the water. They landed practically on each other before surfacing and letting out some groans of pain. 

“Jesus, Pope!” Kiara exclaimed as she fell out of her seat and rolled on the floor of the boat. In the water, John B. quickly swam over to the other Pogue in the water, looking at her with worry. 

“You okay, JJ?” He asked, obviously worried that she had been hurt from the fall. 

“I really think my heels touched the back of my head.” She groaned before trying to swim back to the boat. John B. agreed and followed her lead. 

“Kie? You okay?” He asked, pulling himself back up into the boat and JJ followed. 

“I’m alright.” She answered, standing up and brushing herself off. 

“Pope, what did you do?!” JJ asked, pulling herself back up into the boat as well and wringing out her long dirty blonde hair that was now soaking wet. 

“Sandbar, the channel changed.” He explained. 

“Yeah no shit.” She fired back, still wringing out her hair. 

Pope peered over the side of the boat, squinting in the morning sun. 

“Guys,” He started. “I think there’s a boat down there.” 

The others rolled their eyes, not beliving a thing their friend was saying. How could a boat be here? In the middle of this marsh that they traveled almost every single day. It was rarely busy and unusual that a boat would have sank without them knowing it.

“Guys, I’m serious there’s a boat down there.” He says again and they all crowd to the edge to get a look. Sure enough, there was a boat resting at the bottom of the marsh. It was barely visible but the friends dove into the water to get a better look. “You think there’s a dead body down there?” Pope added. 

The murky water of the marsh made it hard to see but it was clear that the boat was a Grady White. One of the most expensive boats out there. The friends had no choice but to return to the surface for air after a few seconds. 

“You guys saw that, right?!” JJ asked, excitedly as she pushed her hair away from her face and the other’s agreed and laughed at the sight of the Grady White.  “That’s a Grady White.” She added, her extensive knowledge of boats shining through. “A new one of those is like...$500,000 easily.” 

The four returned to the boat, wringing out their hair and drying off in the hot sun and the summer heat almost immediately as they took their places on the boat. 

“That’s the boat I saw when we surfed the surge,” John B. added. 

“You guys surfed the surge?” Kiara asked, looking between JJ and John B. in horror at the idea of her friends doing such a thing. “What are you turning into one of those couples that is ready to die together too?” 

“We’re not together.” John B. said a little too quickly and defensively. “We just....wanted to surf the surge.” 

After protests and arguments from the other two about their relationship, John B. decided to be the one to volunteer to dive in and see if he could find out who the owner of the boat was. JJ told him it was too deep and attempted to talk him out of diving. 

“It’s only too deep for the weak and feeble, JJ.” John B. smirked, incredibly close to her face as he said it. Her eyes drifted down to his lips and then their eyes locked again. 

“Well...,” She stammered, “I’m not resuscitating you. I’m just...making that clear up front.” She added, the distance between them closing in just a little more. 

“Get a room!” Kiara called which caused the two Pogues to snap out of whatever they were doing. To break the awkwardness, JJ decided to push John B. into the water with the anchor as she yelled, “Diver down!”

After what seemed like hours, John B. finally emerged from the water and JJ let out a silent sigh of relief as Kie exclaimed that it took forever. John B. held up his treasure from the boat. A single motel key on a yellow key chain. 

“A key?” Pope questioned. 

“Yes, a key, Pope.” John B. fired back. 

“Great. A $500,000 boat and we salvaged a motel key.” JJ rolled her eyes, helping John B. back into the boat from the water as they made their way back to the island to report the wreck...which didn’t go as planned at all. John B. and JJ had been the ones to venture from the boat and report it but their reports fell upon silent ears and the screams from others about damaged boats. 

“Well, that went well.” Pope said sarcastically as the two came back outside. “What’s the plan?” 

JJ was leaning up against John B. without thinking about it as she listened, leaning her head against his shoulder. 

“I know how we’re going to find the guy who owns that boat.” John B. stated confidently as JJ took the key from his hand. 

“We don’t know whose room that is. It could be anyone.” Pope added. 

“I’m in.” JJ stated, tossing the key to Kiara.

“I’ll be lookout.” She smiled. 

“Hey, at least you’ll only be an accomplice.” John B. shrugged as they walked back to the boat. 

The key belonged to a room at the Summer Winds motel. It was a less than ideal location before and now, after the storm, it looked even worse. 

“And I thought the Chateau looked bad...” JJ mumbled under her breath, pulling her long hair up into a ponytail in the humidity of the morning. 

“This place is a shitshow.” John B. added. 

“Motel or meth lab?” Kiara joked, looking at the building. 

“You be the judge.” Pope added to the conversation. 

“Doesn’t look like the place somebody with a Grady White stays.” John B. pointed out, glancing over and watching JJ pull her hair up into a high ponytail. 

“It looks like the type of place somebody with a Grady White would bet killed.” JJ added, staring at the building. “HMS Pogue coming in for a landing.” She added, jumping from the tip of the boat to the wet grass on the shore. 

“All right,” John B. let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as JJ tied the boat off on the edge. “Here goes nothing.” He added. 

“Hey.” Pope said, eyeing the two Pogues on the land and then letting his gaze fall on John B. “Don’t let her do anyting stupid.” He sighed, pointing to JJ. 

“Oh we will.” JJ smirked. 

“I’m not making promises.” John B. sighed because he truly didn’t know what would come from this situation. 

“Be careful.” Kiara added, her eyes lingering on John B. “I mean it.” 

John B. blushed and smiled a bit before agreeing and JJ noticed the interaction, a pain hitting in her stomach at the sight of it. Kiara was beautiful. She knew that. She also knew that John B. could drop her any second that he wanted to and be with Kiara which made her jealous and angry as the two walked to the motel. She gave him a questioning look as he jumped from the boat to the land and grabbed her arm gently. 

“Come on, let’s go.” John B. said quietly, jogging to the parking lot. “Why are all of these mattresses out here?” He asked as they walked. 

JJ tried to not like her jealousy show through but she couldn’t shake the image of John B. and Kiara out of her head. Was this something that he thought about frequently? Why did he blush like that at her touch? 

“Hello? JJ?” John B. asked and it brought the Pogue back to reality and out of her thoughts. 

“What?” She asked, shaking her head as if to come back to the conversation. 

“I said, why are all these mattresses out here?” John B. repeated. 

“Oh, after a hurricane they ditch them beacuse they’re moldy.” JJ explained with a shrug, looking at the key in John B’s hand as he twirled it. The duo climbed the stairs and began walking down the hall when JJ couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

“What the fuck was that about down there with Kiara?” She asked, glancing down at her feet and then over to John B. 

John B. rolled his eyes and looked away before laughing, “I knew you were going to over think that shit.” 

“So you admit that there was something going on?” JJ asked, stopping for a moment to look at the boy as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“JJ, you’re overthinking things. She was just being nice...Kie is one of my best friends.” John B. sighed. 

“Oh really?” JJ frowned, grabbing John B’s shoulders and rubbing them gently and seductively. “Just be so careful, John.” She mocked in a voice that was thick and sultry. 

“God, you’re so weirded out about me and Kiara. JJ, nothing is going on there.” John B. frowned, pushing her hands away from his shoulders. 

“Then what the hell was that about?” She asked, her voice filling with anger now more than anything. 

“I don’t know, maybe she wants us to be careful!” He frowned, finally turning around to look at the blonde standing behind him while they walked. Their eyes locked and silence fell between the two of them for a moment before JJ rolled her eyes yet again. 

“Since she heard you’re being threatened with exile, she’s just been, like..,” JJ trailed off, putting on her mocking voice again and rubbing his shoulders seductively. “Oh, be so careful, John B. Just give me the John D. already.” 

“Juliana!” John B. quickly turned around and she was shocked at the use of her actual first name instead of the nickname that usually escaped his lips. “You know the rules, no Pogue-on-Pogue macking.” 

“Oh really,” JJ laughed and rolled her eyes. “You really are going to throw that rule in my face when you’re explaining this to me? As if we didn’t just break it about 12 hours ago for the millionth time at your house.” She said. “You don’t care about that dumbass macking rule so tell me the truth.” 

“I could ask them same thing about you and Pope,” He defended. “He’s the one who’s always hitting on you and I never say anything about it. You’re always over at his house and you never tell me why.” 

JJ knew that a fight was about to break out between the two right here at this motel and there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

“Who cares? This isn’t about me and Pope. Anyway, Pope is like a little brother to me so if you really think something is going on there then....” She trails off, stopping at the door the key belonged to. 

“You need help,” John B. mumbled, shaking his head and looking at the locked door in front of the two. “Not like a little bit of help but like a lot of help.” 

And that was all it took to send the blonde over the edge. She bit her lip gently, shoving him against the outdoor wall of the hotel and looking deep into his eyes. Her forearm was against his chest. John B. would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about turning around and doing the same to her right here and not care who saw. 

“I’m sick and tired of every girl who has a heartbeat coming around you and you’re just like....,” She trails off, her eyes moving from his down to his lips and then back up to his eyes. “Ugh...” She scoffed, removing her arm from his chest and pushing him slightly into the wall. 

“I could say the same thing about you,” John B. frowned, stepping closer to the girl in front of him until she was leaning against the leaning against the iron railing of the motel. “Every guy that comes around you’re just like....You’re just ready to give him whatever he wants. Daddy issues to the extreme.” 

“Fuck you, John B.” She spat back at him and shoved him slightly once again. “Fuck. You.” 

“Just...Come on, this is us. Twenty-nine.” John B. sighed and JJ was standing slightly behind him with her arms crossed over her chest. “This is it.” 

John B. knocked quietly on the door a couple of times, waiting for a response that didn’t come and he knocked again. JJ rolled her eyes. 

“You have to be way more aggressive than that if you wand a response,” She said, shoving the boy out of the way gently and beating on the door multiple times. “Housekeeping!” She yelled in a booming and deep voice that came from deep within. 

“Yes, please draw more attention to us than is needed.” John B. said, cautiously looking around to make sure no one heard the commotion that was going on. “Should we try to just open it?” He asked as JJ peered in the window beside the door and she nodded in response. 

“There’s no power or security cameras. No one is going to know.” She added as John B popped the door open. 

He shined the flashlight inside and the two looked around. No blood, no evidence of a murder...it was a good start already. It was a typical looking motel room. Two double beds against the wall, an outdated television against the other and god awful art hanging on the empty spaces. A large black duffel bag sat on one of the beds. 

“Check the bag. See if there’s a name on there somewhere.” John B. said, shining the light on it before he closed the door and began searching. 

“Here’s a jacket,” JJ noted. “No name on it though.” She added, slipping the jacket over her shoulders and trying it on for size. It was way to big on her but that wouldn’t stop her from taking it. 

“Well, he’s definitely over 50. He’s got New Balances.” John B. sighed. 

“Maybe  this is where they were fishing,” JJ suggested, looking at a stray piece of paper that was laying on the beside table. 

“No, that’s off the continental shelf. No one fishes there.” John B. shook his head and the two continued to search the motel room for anything that might lead to an explanation for who owned the boat. 

“Would it be frowned upon if I stole this bag in here in the bathroom? I mean, I’m really running low on toothpaste.” She said, rummaging through the things on the bathroom counter before putting some in her pocket. 

“We’re not stealing shit.” John B. protested and began to try random number combinations for the in room safe. Maybe there was a clue in there. 

While JJ and John B. were searching for the owner of the Grady White, their lookout team of Kiara and Pope were outside in the HMS Pogue as the Kildare County Sheriff truck pulled up. With no way to warn their friends, the two panicked. The towers were down from the storm and there was no way to call. There was also no way to get to the room, warn them and get out before the police showed up beating on the door. Pope tried to reassure Kiara that the cops weren’t going up there but she knew better as they were talking and pointing to the room on the corner. 

John B. was still hard at work trying to open the safe and JJ breathing down his neck was helping nothing. She shed the jacket, laying it on the bed to take with her when they left. 

“Punching shit at random. That will definitely work.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Do you have a better idea?” John B. frowned and turned to look at the blonde. After remembering the random numbers written on a piece of paper beside the bed and trying them, the safe popped open and revealed a large sum of cash inside as well as a gun. “Holy shit...,” John B. mumbled, looking inside at the contents. “JJ.” He added, trying to get her attention and stop her random ramblings from behind him. “You’re going to want to see this.” 

Her eyes widened at the contents of the safe and she quickly grabbed for the gun that was laying on a stack of cash. 

“You grabbed the gun?!” John B. scolded as he watched the girl look the weapon over. In JJ’s mind, this was her chance. This was her once chance at having something that would protect her from the fights that happened at home and while she hoped she never really had to use it, she would feel untouchable by owning it. Her dad wouldn’t stand a chance if she pulled something like this out on him during one of their nightly arguments that usually turned physical. “Put the gun back, JJ!” John B. whisper yelled urgently, trying to grab it from the girl’s hand as she laughed. She held the gun up, making fake shooting noises and John B. frantically tried to take the weapon from her while still looking at the door. “Put the gun back. We are not stealing anything.” He said through clenched teeth as she shined the light on his face. 

“Just, just take a picture of me. Come on, you have to admit I look like a badass holding this.” She said, taking her hair down from the ponytail and flipping it over her shoulder while posing with the gun. “I look just like I belong in Charlie’s Angel’s.” 

“Yes, let’s create our own incriminating evidence. JJ, I’m not asking you again. Put the fucking gun down.” John B. said urgently, still trying to take it from her hands. 

The argument was cut short by a rock hitting the window in which their lookouts warned them of the cops coming up to the room just as they knocked on the door. JJ scrambled, grabbing the gun and a handful of cash and shoving as much as she could in the pockets of her denim shorts. The two managed to flee out the window just in time for the cops to open the door as they stood as still as statues on either side of the window. They exchanged glances as they listened for the coast to be clear. They could hear their friends talking on the boat behind them and Kiara urging the two to come down. She once again reminded John B. to be careful and JJ shot him a look. 

“Not. Now.” He said through clenched teeth as he looked at the girl standing opposite of him outside the window. 

“Be so careful, John B.” JJ whispered in the mocking tone again which caused John B. to tell her to shut up and he attempted to swat at her arm to get her to be quiet. In a matter of seconds though, as he hit her arm, the gun fell from her pocket. The metal of the gun and the metal of the overhang they were standing on made a loud clanging noise and everyone held their breath. John B. closed his eyes tightly, mumbling every curse word he could think of under his breath. As the blinds on the window flew open, he held his finger to his lips and signaled for her to stay silent no matter what. When the police left, they both let out a sigh of relief as they climbed down and back on the boat. 

“Well, that was fun.” JJ said and the others groaned in disbelief at the comment. “Really though you could have warned us a little sooner.” 

“The cops took everything like it was a crime scene.” John B. sighed, leaning up against the seat while he drove the boat through the marsh. 

“Did you guys find anything?” Pope asked, expecting the answer to be no. 

JJ smirked, “Did we find anything?” She asked, pulling the gun and the load of cash from her back pockets. “Oh yeah, we did.” 

“What the hell?!” Pope jumped up quickly from his seat and Kiara watched in half horror, half amazement. “Why would you take that from a crime scene?!”

“It’s better than the cops having it.” JJ defended and John B. laughed at Pope’s near breakdown. JJ tried to reassure him that it would all be okay. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, holding the gun up and admiring it. John B. caught himself staring at her arm around his shoulders and he quickly looked away. He was no better than her if he started speculating that anything was happening between the two of them. They were just close friends...at least, John B. hoped. He would be lying though if he said he didn’t think about being with Kie once or twice. JJ didn’t have to know that though. She also didn’t have to know that the two shared a kiss once or twice. Both times they were too drunk to care and JJ was off somewhere, probably hooking up with some tourist at their expensive vacation home. John B. looked at JJ and then away at the water once again. 

“I’m actually living the nightmare...” Pope mumbled, slumping back down in his seat and away from the touch as JJ laughed and found a spot between John B and Kiara...intentionally. 

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Also I noticed, mom's engine is kind of fuel proof.

And when I say engine, I mean her temper. Thats why Dad would always break it down to me when I would ask "What's wrong with momma?" And he would break it down to me like a list of groceries, and where everything else would hidden under a car hood. But I think mom would prefer the word table. Because she wouldn't like the idea of being compared to a car.

In Daddy's instruction manual, he was in coach mode. He figured her out. And it took awhiillllleeeee for him to get to understand her fully on why she would do the things she said, and acted and reacted the way she would do or wouldn't do....especially had she not have drank around certain times of the day when she was upset, frustrated or just having a headache.

I know this sounds like my mom is an alcoholic and I would tell you she's not. But she still has this thing like one would do, but she would probably suggest to me that its just stress and wine, and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Because any type of criticism, and I mean aannnnnnnnyy type of criticism from me, my dad, or family in general....hurts her.

And she hates that thing about me where I can just know what's going on and what I need to do to not get hit or lashed out at by her words. I don't need to her to tell me what to do. Because I hate talking to her when she's upset and don't wanna see her get triggered again. There's been times where she would put the foot up on the gas and blast right through us like we weren't there listening to her every word, every comment and not being able to block her words killed me every time. So I would just zone the fuck out, to not be mean back to her. Either that or leave the room. Because lets be honest. I don't wanna endanger myself by adding fuel to the fire by reacting to an adult who sometimes does/sometimes doesn't has control over her temper. I'm even having a hard time typing this out because it makes me paranoid to even say anything bad or wrong about her. Because she wants to be seen as perfect, even in front of her friends, family members we don't know, and company.

I know neither of my sisters like putting on this facade of fake smiles and everything...and I think maybe my sisters thought I was over exaggerating when I would tell them "hey you need to clean this up before your mom sees it" and then they would say "like yo, just chill. I got it" and I would get cranky, upset, and confused so much for tolerating this big sister role, that I would go in my room to confront my emotions about this alone. Because if the reason why I was upset or crying didn't make sense to my mom, she would look at me like I was stupid, "Like what's the point in crying over that. What's the big deal?" Because even after I told her I was dealing with grief because I had to cut off some friends with whom I was deeply attached to (and loved) she said "What grief? You didn't lose anything?"

Daddy had to reassure me that she just wasn't the innocent-playing control freak who was insensitive to her daughter's emotions. She hated seeing me sad all the time, going up to my room, not wanting to spend time with my family because I was depressed. She thought I was just being rude and irritable for nothing. When I finally told them why after having a panic attack about me just being depressed and I wasn't getting back to happy fast enough for mom and them, it stressed me out. Because they wanted to feel better, when all I wanted to do was cry, (cringe warning) white cake icing that had been sitting in the pantry for like a year, and compulsively watching anime and korean dramas. And of course thats when I started doing music as a coping mechanism.

But any who back to my original intention to say...

Mom has a fuel tank, with an engine light, and a reader.

The more things that trigger, it gets added to the pot. Like she's not over the top neat-freak, but things add up. And Daddy was making a lot of sense about why momma cried when I told her the chocolate chip cookies she made were too crunchy when I was maybe 6 years old. I shut my mouth after he told me. He didn't yell at me, but I kinda wish he did. I told her I was sorry and she hugged me for understanding. That's probably how I started using context clues a lot better in most english literature classes. I had to survive my childhood with my mother. Escape the belt, escape the "whoopens" escape control, escape everybody telling me to do this and this right the first time or else.

Momma is sensitive too. Just like me. Cause I'm her daughter. And I think I became more entitled for her to take care of me and my emotions as I got older. Because I blamed her lack of care for my emotions and attention, when all I was doing was keeping myself out of harms way. It was either by feeding her negative emotions with kindness. Problem and solution. More compliments, complimentary breakfasts, cooking for something new or especially different, talking to her to make sure she was in a good mood first to talk, because I know she gets uninterested and cold if she talks. Kinda whatever I saw my Dad do for her to make her feel better, I would try to mimic that. He was like my calm down, cheer me up kind of guy. He would listen, understand, be patient with me if I was upset or just emotionally frustrated. But tantrums he would get more aggressive to get me to stop embarrassing him if I was upset in public, so I had to be quiet then and just let the teardrops drop and shut up. Because I hated disappointing my father too. Especially if mom had already made me feel bad for not pleasing her or not looking pleasing enough to go out to eat. She was very picky on clothes, and my taste was different from hers. I think maybe we were just too similar on wanting things the way we wanted things to go. Maybe I started turning into her, once I started dating these other people who I thought reminded me of these little piles of quarrels and abc debates with my mother. I don't like to argue, but I guess I have a fiery engine too. The little things add up and it gets on my nerves after awhile. Sometimes I can't think straight and just talk it out if I'm so damn frustrated. So I have to leave the room and handle the way my father would have wanted me to. Which was to not fight, to not lash out, don't let nobody get in your face, don't put your hands on them unless they put your hands on you. He made sure of that when I was going to school. He didn't want me to end up like him with a bad record of getting into fights with kids in elementary. This guy was a beast back then. He even challenged the big dudes, because of his height at the time. Especially if it was for justice for somebody talking shit to him. He wasn't taking no bullshit. A lil bulldog with aggression, that later on turned into passive as he got older dealing with the workforce. He probably saw some shit with corporate and certain types of people that he had to deal with. Dealing with people like that to pay bills and you got kids at home, I could see why he would find another better way to talk over someone who thinks less of them, because he figures people out too at work. Once he does, you can't fuck with him. He won't give you a reaction. He tries to see the logic of it so he never ever lets his emotions about something get to him. He moves forward and turns his heart off. Brain on. Like a robot, coming to an absolute conclusion so he never has to face that again.

That could be why I say I'm like a cool blend like my mom and dad. When Im hot, im like hot, coffee, acid,aggressive, passionate, fiery like my mom. Dad, he's cool guy, people smart, cold, blue, smooth, fast, speed, control, logical, offensive linemen, defensive line. He's a football guy, quarterbacks think in sight and what they observe. They have to learn to be on their toes. You can't fool him or lie to him, unless you changed. Like I did.

[thevoidwriting]

Thoughts of the past, hopes for the future and no time like the present.

Warning time peeps, child abuse, heavy angst, one good siblingand one really sucky set of parents. One side note is nothing going to fluff til the end this is so darling (reader) understands him a bit better and so we flush him out a bit.

As Valent walked to the dinning table where his precious flower was happily setting up plates for breakfast, unfortunately sometime this week Silva would visit.

"Hey Valent I was wondering if you could tell me more about the time you first met your sister?" She tilted her head to the right, smiled and set the last fork down, "And pray tell do I get out of all of this, cause that's lot of pain to drag up this time." This was to shut her up, he was happy that she wanted to get to know him but remembering those times just hurt, the old scars start to show and rip again.

"How about massive cuddles and you get to choose what we do for the next week and I can't say no." She slid to my side and wrapped an arm around my waist and the other around my chest in a hug, she wasn't making this easy, "ok but first we eat then I begrudgingly tell you about Silva and how she saved me." She smiled brighter, "Sweet, I can't wait to meet my ..... Sister in law or new sib sib?" With that she let go and danced her way to the kitchen to get the food.

After we ate I moved to the living room and took off my shirt, this was kinda important, I dropped my glamour and several scars showed up, one that wrapped around my upper arm, three claw marks on my left pec to my belly, and matching ones on my hips in the form of four claws each.

"Oh my Vally are you ok those had to hurt, I.... What I've never seen those before." She had gasped and moved her hands up to her mouth, I sat her down, "Where to begin let start easy my arm." As he started talking he could see it clear as day in his mind.

He was seven and learning table manners, his dad to the right looking over scrolls of problems sent in by the demons he was take care of, to the left his tutors, one for each subject he was to master by 20, he was doing everything right then like a flash of lightning his dad gripped his arm tight and snarled, "you ingrate, you never lean on the table, never turn your red eyes apon me and never bother Silva or the others boy, I only tolerate you cause you have my blood but know this I will kill you should you step out of line." With that I felt my arm burn, I didn't scream nor did I cry but I did wince.

When he was done he walked away to check on my other sibling and I was left with a mark on my upper arm, which looked like a ring of thorns.

As he finished the story he saw her touch the puckered skin and gave it a small kiss.

Next one was on my chest, "This was a concubine decided that I was in the way, Silva wasn't happy." This one no matter how old he was he'd never forget. As the story started he saw Azalea.

How to describe Azalea, fair black hair, black eyes, purple horns, blue lips, flat as a board, whip like tail and about 5'6. SHE. WAS. A. ROYAL. CUNT. She was the mother of Silva and Hydrangea, the two oldest. I was in her tender loving care she hate me for no real reason I was sure of it but I was left with her for two months, she was with out her daughters the entire time.

As the tension rises as well as her anger, resentment and hatred. So she did what she always did when she wanted something or someone gone, I was sixteen at the time. What I didn't know was Silva was due to be home any minute now, I was trying to avoid her and stay in the garden. As fate would have it so was Azalea, she calmly moved twards me for the first time ever making me wary, as she passed by me she spoke, "dearest son would you come to dinner your lovely sister will be there." Then she left. I knew better then going but if Azalea accepted me than so would the others. Little did I know that she was going to hurt herself and than blame it on me.

As I got ready for dinner I got a knock on the door and a unknown voice said I had the cloths for dinner cause the concubine has specific taste, so i let them in. I saw my sister the first time.

Shiney mid back silver hair, pink almond eyes, medium nose, a bright smile, periwinkle horns and snake like tail, athletic build, about 5'5 in human form. I knew who she was from the big painting around my prison. "You should be in here you'll get us both in trouble." I tried to usher her out but she just laughed. "Dear brother, I'm here too meet you and say hi. I came back a week early for this." She bounced lightly, she was about 250 years old and being groomed to take over the throne.

"do you not hear the king, you are not my sister, I am a cousin visiting. Please leave me alone." Nothing I said would make her leave, so we ended up talking for awhile, once we saw the time we hurried down stairs at different ends. She runs to see her loving mother and I was hoping that this was going to be fine but expecting the worst and once again I was proven right.

Azalea was covered in cuts, gashes and bruses, crying and sobbing. She pointed to me and said I did it, "He scratched me up saying that I would pay, I've done nothing to him and he just attacked me." She keep going on and on. Silva heard her say something about it was before dinner that he came into her room at this Silva cut her mother off. "He couldn't have done that, I was with him the entire time. I picked out his cloths." At this her mother lunged at me trying to rip my heart out, my sister moved me out of the way but I still got very deep gashes. Silva yelled at her mother as passed out.

Once awoke I saw Silva mending my wounds and muttering I'm sorry lil bro and baby bro. Once she let me sit up, all of my chest was bound in white stained in red, great yet another reminder that he doesn't belong so he thanked her and tried to leave but she stopped him.

"Dear brother you are to stay by my side till you recover, you may not protest cause as the future queen I have final say so shut up and live with it." With that I could no longer protest.

As I faded back to my delicate flower she pet the scars on my chest. " I think I've heard enough this is too much right now." She cuddled into me, I sighed, "you look better without your glamour cutie.".

I grabbed the blanket settled in, "any movies you wanna watch or just some music?"

"how about 51st dates or any romcom really." She giggled, handed me the remote, yeeted the empty bag of chocolate and other comforts. "Let's not dwell on the past, let's think of the new possiblitys, maybe next time we can talk bout the darlings, that makes me happy."

Part two soon I swear!

[theworldsoul]

Sorry guys, I'm gonna vent Again, so if you don't want to read it just feel free to skip this post

Okay so basically we have a Gecko. Don't ask, that's another story for another time. My dad has grown fond of it, and I used to think he was cool until a specific day. On that say I fed him worms with a tweezer. When I picked them up, I could PHYSICALLY FEEL THEIR PAIN. I dont really know what happened there, but I physically felt their pain and i squeezed them. My dad said, "squeeze harder, do it by the head", and i tried it and i felt a jolt of pain... I told myself "you are just imagining the pain, its okay" but then when I looked back at the worm, squirming and struggling... I connected some dots in my brain and this hard realization came upon me, that I was causing this poor creature pain. I began to cry and my dad had to feed the gecko that day. Ever since then I havent interacted with the gecko because every time I do it freaks me out a bit. I dont really understand what happened that time but I want to forget about it before I go near the gecko again. I've been trying to get closer to him but I always freak out.

So today I was on my computer, right? Drinking a tea. Trying to feel peaceful. Then all of a sudden my dad is there, all happy with the gecko, and I go "oh hi!!!" Because I am under the impression that the gecko will stay ON HIS HAND. Of course I'm wrong. My dad encourages him to go onto the table to see me. I EXPECT the gecko to walk onto the table and towards me, but TO MY SURPRSISE, the gecko basically jumpscares me by suddenly jumping from his hand onto and nearby watterbottle. I jump a bit, startled, and I spill tea all over my computer, the table, and my sleeve. As I'm processing what happened I'm overtaken by fear and I begin to cry.

Of course I'm fine and I'm just overreacting, but I was scared. I wasnt hurt, my computer mousepad barely works now but I wasnt hurt. So why was I so scared of a little gecko? I dont know. So I'm crying and trying to clean up the mess of tea everywhere and my dad is mad at me for spilling my tea and he asks why I did that and I tell him that I was scared since it jumped so suddenly, yknow I wasnt expecting it. I dont remeber his exact words but it was soemthing about me being 15, like "oh well since you're 15 now you should grow the fuck up" basically. Then he left. Like???? I am literally trying to get my breathing back to a normal pace because I'm SCARED, I was just JUMPSCARED, and you get MAD AT ME??? YOUR CHILD IS FUCKING SCARED AND YOU JUST LEAVE THEM?? the whole time I was cleaning I could hear him in the other room talking to the gecko, all carefree and happy... while I did my best not to cry. Damn okay. It almost made me feel like I was below human.

Usually this wouldnt be such a big fucking deal, but I'm an emotional person. And also I notice that,,, whenever my sister is scared they lunge at the chance to help her feel safe again. It's like they hate me specifically.

I know I'm making a big deal out of something that is really not a big deal. Really all that happened was a little gecko jumped and I got scared. I'm overdoing it. But that's just how I am now. I really don't want to believe that I'm broken or anything, but fuck i think i genuinely am messed up if stupid shit like this makes me freak out... reminder that this all began with EMPATHIZING WITH A FUCKING MEALWORM. I'm jsut so fucking broken. And in the moments I was left alone to console myself as quietly as possible so as not to make anyone angry, I felt my body become possessed with another soul.

This happens sometimes, where I will sorta have the mindset of a child. I force it sometimes to cope, but other times it happens on it's own whenever I feel unloved or otherwise bad like this. I'm not too sure if this is a normal thing. But I describe it as possession. The fact that that event made me get possessed is kinda a big deal. Usually that only happens at REALLY BAD THINGS.

But this wasn't really bad... I'm just being sensitive and overdoing it.

Honestly my parents are right... I really do need to grow up. But I think I have something wrong with me, with my brain, because there are just so many things about this story that are so... wrong. Like, what sort of person freaks out and cries for an hour because they got jumpscared? What sort of person then has their body SWITCH SOULS because they feel like their parents dont love them? WHAT SORT OF PERSON EMPATHIZES WITH A WORM??? it's all so weird. Like, who knows, maybe my parents arent that bad, maybe I'm just like... weird. I'm totally overdoing this. I'm totally overdoing this. I'm making such a big deal out of it... but I cant help it. That's just my emotions.

Shit, I should really get a therapist. All the ones I've been to so far tell me my emotional reactions are totally normal but THIS DOESNT SEEM FUCKING NORMAL TO ME. I've overreacted to shit my whole life. It's not. Helpful.

On another note, I notice that my crying doesnt induce a "concern" reaction in my father. It induces an "anger" reaction. They arent bad people, I just... I'm beginning to think they really fucking hate me.

They have all the reaosn to, but a lot of those reasons are things that couldve been fixed early on if the adults around me cared about my feelings enough to try to sort them out. It's been fifteen years and now I'm fucked up. Irreversible. Just. So.. so fuckinf damaged. I dont think I'll ever be normal. And I hate ft. But it cant happen.

Soemtimes I think it was a bad idea to choose to live after the party. It was the perfect time to die and I told myself no, dont do it. It was... perfect. Calling to me. I think it was my destiny to die that day. I think that now I am cursed since I dodged my destiny.

I try not to think that way. I tell myself that I am going to change so much. I tell myself that my passion will be my strength. But the way my life is going, it really doesnt feel like I will become anything good.

I'm failing my classes. They KNOW about my soul shifting. I cry too much. All I ever do is draw STUPID FUCKING DRAWINGS and play STUPID FUCKING MUSIC and play fashion designer in my room stitching things up... fucking hell. They're right to hate me. I'm a failure. But they're also wrong to hate me. A lot of the things they dont like about me are things that are THEIR FAULT.

Man, I dont even know what to think anymore. All I really ever wanted was their love. But it's impossible for me to get it now, so I should just forget about it. I cant though. It plagues me. The thought that they hate me. It hurts me. And when its confirmed to me... i'm sorry. All I ever do is complain about the most mundane bullshit ever. My parents are proabbly actually good people I'm just overdoing it because I'm I'm proabbly mentally ill or soemthing. And I'm a failure anyways so I cant fucking blame them for not liking me that much anwyays. God, fifteen is very old. And I'm a boy. I hate to say it but they're right. Fuck, they're right. I cant be crying... I'm so oversensitive. But wait, why am I trying so hard to justify their ideas? ITS BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY CONDEMNING THEIR ACTIONS. WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY. goddamn it...

I dont know how I'm gonna fix this though. I kinda wish my parents would treat me with the softness that I NEED, that my mind NEEDS and has needed for a while now, but I know that wont happen and really I'm just this overgrown child thing and oh fuck I wonder who's fault that is??? Cos it isn't all on me. Oh shit, now I'm scared. If I get a bad mark on my test my parents will freak out. I think I'm going to cry again. Fuck man, I try my hardest, it's just I'm literally defective. I cant do any better. I've been set up to fail anyways. Fuck. I just... I dont know, I wish things were different.

This is stupid and I'm being stupid and freaking out over one little thing. Fuck.