#Kinda going for a GILF look

[azure-daybreak]

Citrine (July '23)

I've wanted to try and take another crack at digital panting and humans after so long and did my current PSO2 character

Posted using PostyBirb

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LNDS: Cursed Spice | 18+ NSFW

Aight homies, I almost ran over like four old ladies speeding home on my lunch break to write this. It's cursed. BUt only a little...I don't think it's that bad. This was born from being challenged not directly by @anxiousgoddest so if any of y'all read this at work or in a public place, that's on you and your bad decision making.

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+. Warnings: Pegging mentioned, Zayne's Sanity™, Sounding mentioned, Biting, Alligator Death Rolls in bed, Xavier is too old for your shit, Simba, Rafayel wants to both laugh and cry, why are you like this situations, Oh SEX that happens a little in this, it's NSFW what did you expect?

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Xavier was on top...again. One hand trapping both your wrists above your head while he ground his clothed cock against your heat. The only thing separating you two were his thin boxers and your skimpy underwear that you wore for the express purpose of him ripping them off you.

However, you wanted to be on top, and he knew it. You were pouting as you looked up at him and you could see the amused glimmer in his eyes as he continued teasing you.

"Something wrong?" He chuckled, his boyish laugh filling the room and you groaned as he managed to angle his hips just right. The bastard knew he was being unfair. He had been on top every single time this week. You just wanted to ride him, tease him a bit, maybe do a little edging for flavor. He decided otherwise as he continued taking control of your session.

"Lemme top for once, please?" You asked, batting your eyelashes at him, hoping that was all it would take for him to give in.

"If I'm not mistaken, last time you were on top you got tired halfway through and made me take over so you could lay down." He reminded you and you huffed.

"It was one time..." You tried arguing but he rose an eyebrow, "Okay it was a few times, but it's not my fault you have a surprising amount of stamina, okay?"

"Then perhaps we should work on your stamina next?" Xavier said it so nonchalantly and you bit back a remark as his hands snuck to your sides, snapping the elastic of your underwear, "We should start immediately."

He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, but you had another idea. You went in, biting down on his neck a bit harsher than you normally would. Xavier let out a gasp as his grip on your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to wrap your limbs around him, your arms and legs locked into place around his neck and torso.

Then you rolled, mouth still clamped on his neck. Xavier let out a groan as he found himself on his back and you sat up triumphantly, looking at the angry bite mark you left on him. You ground your hips down on him and snickered.

"What was that for?" Xavier asked, his hand going to his neck to make sure he wasn't bleeding.

"Classic Alligator Fuckhouse. Gotta keep up, old man." You said, knowing that 99% of people probably wouldn't know what the hell that was.

"A what...that's a thing?"

"It is indeed, and I just did it...successfully might I add."

Xavier sighed before remembered what you said, "You called me an old man."

"You kinda are one, Xav."

"What does it mean if you like this old man?" Oh he was pouting now, how adorable. You just wanted to squish his cheeks...or fuck the shit out of him...perhaps both.

"It means I'm into Gilfs."

Xavier paused, thinking over what you said before sighing, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me and fuck me, babe."

Zayne

At this point Zayne was well aware that you had an obsession over his ass. It was unavoidable when you were always making a grab for it. He just never thought you would have...plans like these.

"Please Zayne, I am begging you. Just one time, and if you don't like it we never have to talk about it again." You were pleading, and normally it always worked on him. He had a soft spot for you, after all, and was almost a push over when you requested something. This, however, seemed to be something he wasn't prepared to do...at least not at first.

"I understand you like to be adventurous...but this?" Zayne said as he sat on the couch. His shirt was already tossed to the side and his pants unbuttoned. You had worked hard to get him in the mood before you popped this question. Your hand going teasingly over the bulge in his pants.

"I already have the stuff for it, if you'd let me..." You cooed, trying your hardest to make this seem like it was a good idea on his end. Zayne sighed as he leaned his head back onto the couch.

"Of course you've already bought the necessary items..." You don't know why Zayne seemed to surprised by this with your current track record.

"Lemme just grab them to show you. It won't be that bad, I swear." You said, getting up and running to your room and grabbing a bag filled with everything you'd need. Most items had to be ordered online, so you had literally been planning this for a while. You scurried back to the living room and took out the items.

Zayne paused as he took it all in before he finally spoke, "Why does it look like that?" He said as he pointed at the dildo that was very much not human.

"Oh, I got it off bad dragon. I think this one was called-" You got cut off before you could finish the sentence.

"You bought a large dragon shaped dildo...for me?" Zayne was already feeling the grays peaking through the dark locks of hair on his head.

"I actually measured and it's the same size as you, doctor. If I can handle taking your dick, you can handle taking mine." You said, placing the dildo next to the harness, "Now can I please peg you, I just wanna see that ass jiggle with every thrust. It'll be so hot." You whined.

"That is not going inside me." Zayne finally said.

"But consider if it did." He didn't seem like he wanted to consider the possibility.

You paused before looking back at more of your supplies, "Fine...then how about sounding?"

Zayne looked on in horror before zipping his pants up and standing up. You let out a small wail as you realized he was actually going to just leave you.

"No Zaaaaaayne, don't leave me! At least lemme suck your dick I've been so good."

"My love, I think we need to sign you up for a therapy session before we have sex again."

"I am mentally sound now lemme peg that ass!"

Rafayel

Your entire body was shaking from exertion as you came again, clamping down on Rafayel's bottom cock. You could hear the man underneath you groaning as well, clearly close to his own release. The waves lapped at your skin as you looked down, the soft glow of the moonlight illuminating his flushed face perfectly.

He was always a sight to behold, but especially like this. Completely open with you in his Lemurian form was something you two were still exploring together. Every time you found yourself tangled with him like this you swore you were the luckiest human being to ever grace this realm.

Your hand wrapped around his top cock, jerking the slick appendage against your stomach as you helped him. His clawed hands dug into your thighs as he bucked up into you, groaning as he came both inside of you and all over your stomach.

When he finally settled down you both just basked in the afterglow. The sea breeze helping to cool you off as you stared down at him.

"Normally I'd ask for another round, but I don't think I can feel my legs." You admitted with a small laugh. You could see Rafayel's grin as he sat up with you. The scales of his tail were soft under your ass as he pulled you a bit closer to him.

"Can't relate." He said and you chuckled before getting an idea. You looked down at your stomach and how his cum managed to glow a dim blue. It had fascinated you the first time you had seen it, and you recall how embarrassed he was when you asked if it was safe to eat. Now you had other plans.

"Ah, I can get us a bit cleaned up before we head back inside." Rafayel was already pushing you two back into the ocean, slowly taking his length out of you. Before your stomach could be submerged, you took your thumb and swiped at some of his release.

Rafayel gave you a curious look before he saw the wide smile spreading across your lips. Before he could question you, you swiped your thumb over his forehead.

"Simba." You said.

Rafayel was at a loss for words as he just stared at you. He was used to you being eccentric, but this was...something else. You were pretty damn proud of yourself as you looked at his glowing forehead. He took in a small breath before speaking.

"Might I ask what you're doing?" He said, his voice a little clipped. He didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

"NAAAAAAAAAANTS ingonyama bagithi baba!" You shouted as you began singing. Rafayel's hand went over to cover your mouth from continuing your song.

"You little nightmare." He said, hearing your laughter from under his hand. He then got an idea and smirked. He stared at you for a moment and you wondered what he had planned. Until suddenly he fell backwards with you in his arms, submerging you both into the ocean water.

It was worth it.

[toxicanonymity]

consider this: down on her luck reader who needs cash and tries to sell something at joel’s pawn shop but he lowballs her and she insists she needs more money and he says “there’s something else you could give me” 👀

Pawn Shop

2.3k / sleazy GILF!Joel x fem!reader / masterlist

mood board by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

WARNINGS: I8+ Big girthy age gap (68/20s+) dark / perverted old creep Joel, dubcon nudity. Joel jacks off. Sex dream (oral m & P in V sex) and coming in public. Non-outbreak AU. TW Clowns, Drug/addiction references, transactional. Accidental horror then I kinda rolled with it, possible nightmare fuel?

He sighs, puts down the magnifying glass, and swivels his stool around to face you. "Best I can do is twenty, darlin'." His tired eyes are apologetic, wrinkling under the shade of his brow as he looks up at you.  "And that’s pushin’ it.  Rock's not real, no market for this." 

Your face goes cold. You don't know what else to do. The ring is all you have.  You need $75 for your bus ticket, then you're out of here, going to get a fresh start somewhere new.  You hold your hand out and the chain of the necklace pools into your palm as he lowers it into your hand.  You swallow thickly. It comes out in a broken whisper: "Thanks anyway."  

You walk to the door, dejected, being careful that your backpack doesn't hit any of the junk piled up everywhere on your way out.  You’ve never seen so many ceramic clowns. There’s a market for all those, but not a necklace?  You barely have the energy to push the metal bar of the door.  It’s so bright outside your eyes ache as soon as you touch it.  When the bell on the door jingles, the man says,  "Hold on, sweetheart. C'mere." 

You look back to the register and he's sitting with his arms crossed, thumbing a suspender. You walk halfway back to the counter. "Told ya I don't have anything else," you say, tears welling up in your eyes.  

He squints and looks you up and down, then scratches one side of his silver beard.  "How 'bout that pretty dress?"

You sigh. "I can't, I don't have anything else."  Your eyes fall to his biceps bulging out of his short sleeves.  There’s a faded tattoo you can’t see.  He has the face of a grandfather but the body of a muscular DILF with sun damage.

"Gimme a minute, darlin'."  He puts his hands on his thighs and stands up with a groan.  He quickly adjusts himself then reaches under the cash register, unzips something, and his hand emerges with some bills.  He turns away to thumb through them, pockets them, then hobbles around you to the door, his denim brushing the skirt of your dress.  He turns the sign to "closed" and turns the lock.

"Lunch time," he says with a raise of his eyebrows.  A pit forms in your stomach, but you suppress it. "Come on back, I'll show ya what I got." 

-

You hesitantly follow him to the back of the store. He walks slowly, like he's in pain. His jeans are tight on his ass, and one side of his shirt collar is creased. If you only saw him from the back, you'd peg him for fifty or so, but his face and mannerisms are older.  In the back of the store, there's more junk.  One corner has an old sofa and an armchair.  He sighs and his knees pop as he sits down in the armchair.  He looks at you and nods at the sofa, as if you should know what to do. 

"Fifty for the dress."

Your eyes burn with tears of frustration.  "I don't have anything else to wear." 

"Oh, you'll get it back, darlin'. Don't worry," he says soothingly. 

The blood drains from your face as you realize what this is.  He stands up slowly again with his hands on his thighs and shuffles over to a desk to get a bottle of lotion. A ceramic sad clown in a bowler hat sits atop the desk. On his way back to the chair, he looks you up and down and his voice goes up an octave like he's talking to a pet. "Hey, it's okay, sweetie. I'm not gonna touch ya."  He takes down his suspenders and sits back down with a sigh.  He leans back in the chair with one hand on his beard as he watches you think it over.   He spreads his legs and rests his heels on the ground.  Your eyes follow the grooves in the tan soles of his boots as you think. 

Finally, you ask, “Is there anything you need help with? Any work you could give me?” 

He smiles and chuckles to himself, looking down. His smile fades when he looks up again with a darker tone.  “Fifty for the dress, sweetheart.  And ya get it back.”

You take a deep breath. 

He lifts his hips and shoves a hand into his pocket. He peeks at the cash and takes out a fifty-dollar bill to show you.  "If ya don't want it, I'll let ya go." 

You put down your backpack. "All I have to do is take it off?" 

"And lemme look at ya for a lil bit," he adds.  He folds the bill vertically and holds it between his middle and forefinger on the arm of the chair and palms himself with his other hand. It makes your stomach turn.  But it's fast money, and you're so tired, you just need to get on the bus and sleep.

"Okay," you agree quietly and feel a little piece of yourself float away. 

"Good girl," he says.  

-

You rip the bandaid off, pulling the dress over your head right away. You hold it in front of your body timidly. At least you still have your shoes and underwear on. 

"I'll hold onto that," he says as he lifts his hips to unbutton his tight jeans.  You stand frozen as he unzips then reaches into his pants.  He takes a deep breath as he takes his cock out.  You’ve never seen an old one, and you’re curious, but you don’t look.  He extends his free hand for your dress.

You stand as far away as possible and lean forward, extending your arm and practically tossing the dress to him. You avoid looking, but it’s hard not to see it in the corner of your vision.  You quickly go back to the couch and sit down.  

He drapes the dress over the arm of the chair and pumps some lotion into his hand. Then he wraps his hand around his cock and his fist begins to go up and down, moving a distance that tells you he's well endowed. 

You cover yourself with your arms, cower, and look away. 

"Don't be shy, darlin'. Only make it take longer."  

You put your hands down by your sides.  He strokes himself slowly and watches you. "Sure are pretty," he mutters. "sorry you're down on your luck."   You look away. "Nuh-uh " he says.  "You look right here."  Your eyes begin to water.  You look past him, to the sad clown on the desk. You're never, ever coming back to this town again. 

When he closes his eyes for a moment, you steal a glance and curse the pang between your legs when your eyes fixate on the thick pillar in his weathered, veiny hand.  He sees you see him.  He looks down at his cock then at you and a wicked look spreads across his eyes.  "Yeah, that's right," he murmurs. "Like what you see?"  He nods slowly as he pumps himself.  He adds more lotion. 

The slurping sound makes you sick. Sick enough to snap. You're never coming back, why are you doing this? You feel yourself floating back together.  

You offer a small nod of admission, stare at his cock, and wet your lips.  Because you know that's what he wants.  

“You can have it if ya want,” he says.  You act tempted but shy.  "That’s okay, sweetie.  Just take off the rest and this'll go faster." You don’t take anything else off. “Another fifty for the rest.”  He pauses his hand, holding his hard cock at attention as he gets out another bill from his pocket.  Arousal stirs between your legs, looking at his stiff member jutting into the air, ready to be mounted.  But no, not with this sleaze. 

-

You “pretend” to be turned on.  "How much faster?"  You ask. He accelerates his stroke  considerably to demonstrate, then slows it way down. He wets his lips with the darkest look on his face, and now that you're looking at his cock unabashed, butterflies swarm in your lower belly. 

"Ok," you say, and stand up.   You walk toward him slowly, taking down the straps of your bra, eyeing the bills in his hand.  "How much is in your pocket?" His eyes rove you hungrily. You stand in front of him and ask, “How much if I just do it myself?" You put your hands on his jeans and squat down.  He's pumping himself at a snail's pace now. 

"Hold it for me," he says as he digs in his pocket. “Lemme see.” 

"Not for free," you tell him. 

He chuckles and hands you the two fifties. You yank your dress out from under his elbow and make a break for the front of the store.

"Hold on now, darlin'," he protests over his shoulder.  You're putting your dress on as you scurry away, leaving your bag. The chair groans as he slowly stands up.  You bump into a clown and it crashes off its table to the ground, shattering. You reach over the counter and under the cash register.  His silhouette hobbles down the hall, suspenders swinging at his hips, as you grab the pouch of cash. 

"You don't wanna do that," he says flatly, footsteps getting closer.  You glance back and he's got his pants still undone, grabbing a shotgun off the wall. You tip over a display shelf behind you on your way to the door.  You fumble at the lock, then push it open and it jingles as you spill onto the sidewalk, blinded by the sun and  stumbling with nerves, part of your dress hung up on your panties. 

You fall on your knees and as you're getting up, he emerges from the store with his gun raised.  Thankfully, there are other people on the sidewalk who stop and stare at him with his pants and suspenders hanging down exposing his silver pubic hair, biceps bulging as he points a shotgun at you. He notices the stares and lowers the gun as you run away crying, pulling down your dress.  

The worst part is your primal brain finds this image of him to be one of the hottest things you've ever seen.  You stuff the pouch in the band of your bra under your arm and it gathers your sweat as you walk to the bus station. 

-

At the station, you open the pouch. It's quite a stack of bills and also a few loose pills. Oxy which is the last thing you need, but god, after that experience.  You count the money, close to $1,600, and you feel a rush.  It’s more than enough to replace everything you lost. You walk to the pharmacy across the street to buy some water, a snack, and some wet wipes to wipe down with because you feel filthy. 

Once you're on the Greyhound bus, you settle into the big, gray velvety seat with an eighties-looking rainbow design on it.  You still feel disgusting, especially because you can't shake the image of him in your head or the feeling between your legs.   A DILF sits next to you but you're too ashamed to let yourself look at him.  You discreetly take one of the pills from the pouch and doze off.

-

You're back in the pawn store, sitting on the sofa completely nude. He's shirtless with gray and white chest hair and a little tummy, but he's not too wrinkled. He’s wearing red suspenders. There’s a faint trace of faded makeup or tattoos stemming down from his eyes - narrow triangles, pointed downward. Somehow he makes it look sexy. 

"Spread your legs for me, baby," he says gruffly as he moves his hand up and down his cock. You spread your legs wide and touch yourself. 

"Fuck me," he exhales. "Gotta have ya, darlin'," he sighs in resignation.  He stands up with no difficulty, crosses the room cockily with his big dick in in his hand, and puts his hand on the wall behind the sofa. He looks down at you darkly, looming over you, stiff cock less than two feet from your face as he strokes it.  You scoot forward and suck his tip between your lips. He puts his other hand on the wall and thrusts his huge cock slowly into your mouth, bracing himself with both hands.  

You suck him hard, salivating around his delicious cock as his hips push him into your mouth. He grunts and moans and says "yeah, just like that," fucking himself with your mouth.  His soft, deep voice stirs a feral desire within you.  "Just like that, baby.”  You take him out of your mouth and he watches from above, stroking himself as you stretch out on the sofa. "You want this cock, sweetie?" You nod. He brings a hand down to the back of the sofa then cages you to the cushions with his body. "You want it in your pussy?" 

He reaches between your legs and lightly taps your cunt a few times, wetting his lips, then rubs your slick around it. You grab his dick and gently tug him closer. You wrap your legs around him and he slams his big cock into you, stuffing you completely full of him. "Yeah," he sighs. He retreats slowly then slams into you hard.  "Take it, sweetie."  You moan and he grunts. 

He repeats the action again and again, and it feels better and better.  His belly grinds into your clit and you watch his biceps flex. He pounds you and grinds into you and finally you burst.   

You wake up moaning on the Greyhound bus and the DILF next to you looks away, blushing. 

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy @str84pedro @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl

[partycatty]

anything with Lord Raiden.... please.... GILF fuckers need something 😞

lord raiden > you unwind me

raiden can't seem to control himself... only when you're around.

warnings: idk it's kinda mushy ig, possibly ooc raiden. i played 8-12 and yet for some reason he's one of the hardest characters to recreate on paper.

notes: not stopping til we can power all of chicago.

[ masterlist ]

• you can't say you didn't notice how touchy he was, i mean, it was considerably obvious considering the distance he kept from the others.

• hands behind his back, posture straight, eyes down and concealed by the width of his hat. he was an enigma, yet you somehow made him twitch like no other.

• he was visibly unsettled around you, falling quiet with tight lips or even stuttering over his words momentarily before forgetting his mortal crowd.

• "if we were to attack from the northern border—" raiden's thick arm stretched past you, just barely brushing against your arm but his towering form sending warmth down your back.

• "excellent observation," his hand would fall to your shoulder, squeezing tight. you've had to pull away before his nails dig in on several occasions.

• "your form is off," the telltale indication of flirting in most men, his large hands on your hips as he corrects your mistakes in the thickest silence you've ever been in. jesus, does he even breathe?

• the smoky air of netherrealm flooded your senses, making you lose your momentum in the siege. raiden would often check on you from a distance as he obliterated demons and the like, but when he noticed a flying creature honing in on your position, he quickly teleported to your side and pulled you in close, teleporting you elsewhere on the battlefield. your body was significantly more... mortal than his. and with his incredible form, you were no more than chest height. the rest of the battle was a hot blur.

• you have also been a victim of electrocutions on multiple occasions, to the point where you almost had to host an intervention. he was so on edge around you, for a reason you couldn't pinpoint.

• "lord raiden," you welcomed yourself into the room with a bow, holding a metallic item he requested you retrieve. "i have the—" as he reaches out to grab whatever it was, the current from his fingertips reaches what felt like your entire nervous system and you jolted, yelping at the sudden shock.

• you'd walk into the surveillance room, hoping for an update on the spy cameras assembled at the black dragon's hideout. while it wasn't even raiden's priority, you observe that he stuck around anyway. you were dressed more down than unusual, relishing in the cool air on a hot summer day with a tank top with your work pants. when raiden locks eyes with you, the surveillance monitors go haywire, eventually blue screening. everyone knows who to blame.

• you can't really say you're opposed to it, either. he was a large man that was good with his hands, well-spoken, mature, what wasn't to like? he was the perfect eye candy during debriefings, though you knew better than to act on your little crush.

• "not sure what sparky's issue is over there," johnny murmured, pointing a thumb in raiden's direction. you both glance over, realizing raiden was quite literally doing nothing but standing there pretending to be useful. "he's short circuited more times than i can count in the last week alone. do you know how many monitors we've had to replace?"

• "it's hard being a protector of an entire realm," you attempt to justify his behavior. "you should talk to him."

• "yeah, because the god of thunder needs a therapist," johnny sarcastically chuckled, crossing his arms. "you give it a shot. he likes you."

• "he likes all of us," you defend yourself. "that's kind of his job." johnny shoots you a knowing look before turning to find cassie. you decide to take the moment of rare silence in the special forces to approach raiden with casual intent.

• "lord raiden," you smile politely, lowering your head for a moment. "on behalf of the special forces, i'd like to have a word with you." he gives you a hum of agreement, yet he's the one that grabs your arm and pulls you aside, out of earshot of others. he locks the door behind him as you two stand in the hallway.

• "er..." you feel yourself beginning to sweat, the seven foot tall man stares blankly at you, jaw clenched and arms crossed as he awaits your words. "i... we... have noticed a significant number of incidents pertaining to you or your powers. we were just wondering if everything is alright, and if you need anything, we—"

• "that is more than enough," raiden holds a hand out at you, and you swallow thickly as he uses your full name. a thunder god is not someone to be in trouble with. he pauses for a long time, eyes darting between yours. his lips part as he struggles to articulate his thoughts. "though i must admit i agree with your observations. i have been... unwound as of late."

• "unwound?" you repeat, perplexed at his wording. "is there something wrong, lord raiden?"

• he hums for a moment, lowering his head. "you will have to forgive me." your heart flutters at his usage of you, rather than the SF.

• "i do," your voice lowers into a more gentle tone and you feel the human urge to place a comforting hand on his arm. when you try, though, you feel your hairs raise up the closer you get. "sorry." as you pull away, a flush to your cheeks, raiden grabs your hand and squeezes it a little too tightly. that funny feeling disappears, and is replaced by a new one.

• "i have been earthrealm's protector for billions of years," he starts after a long pause. "i have seen the horrors afflicted by corrupted gods, i have taken part in the bloodiest battles of mankind. i have gained it all, and lost it all."

• you're stone still, wondering where he's going with this sudden burst.

• "but nothing... nothing," he squeezes even harder. "has torn me apart, piece by piece, more than one... little mortal." the glow of his eyes feels like it burns into yours as your cheeks heat up.

• "i feel as if i have known for since the dawn of time," he confesses, his face eerily still. "you'll have to forgive my bluntness. this is not my strong suit."

• "what isn't?" you had a feeling, but you needed to hear it to be sure.

• "...feelings, i suppose," he averts his gaze, clearly turmoiled by this realization. "it's you. you unwind me."

• "...me?" you reply incredulously. sure, you liked him, but what the hell do you do when a thunder god confesses to you? "you like me?"

• "if that is how you choose to word it, then yes."

• "oh." your eyes focus on his hand enveloping yours so easily. it's a few moments before he tugs ever so slightly, and the static feeling returns to your skin.

• "forgive me," he insists again, a wave of shame overtaking him. "i suppose it was a ridiculous ask of you to return those feelings. i would advise for you to for—"

• "i like you, too," you mutter, never once envisioning the time where you'd have to say such a thing. "i just didn't... expect it from you."

• raiden never smiles, as kind of a man as he is. you had maybe seen it once or twice, but it never quite reached his eyes. this time, however, he was glowing more so than usual as his lips curled upward. at first, it looked strange on him, but it quickly warmed your heart to know that you struck a chord in him.

• "that... brings me joy," he admits, and you can tell he's physically restraining himself from a full-on grin.

• well, what now? you two fall silent for a moment, electricity (for once, not real electricity) coursing through your veins as you relish in the moment. you wonder if he's waiting for a kiss, or for you to say something. these internal questions are answered when he takes a step closer, looming over your figure. his hands can't quite figure out where to land, eventually settling on the sides of your face. he drinks in every detail, every crease and flutter of color in your eyes like he just might forget if he looks away.

• you raise yourself on your tippy toes, eyes flicking between his glowing pupils to his lips. just as you decide to close your eyes and move in for a kiss, you feel him physically pull you away.

• "not here," he gently insists, dropping his hands to slide down your arms and hold yours. "i would rather it be memorable."

• "i'm sure it'll be memorable anywhere," you insist, almost feeling desperate for a kiss from him. you wonder if it'll feel staticky. "if it's with you, i mean."

• "you're too kind," he runs his thumbs over your knuckles. "we have time, my dear. all the time we need."

• raiden wanted to take it slow, you assume. who knows when the last time he had feelings was, or if ever. mutually agreeing to keep things under wraps, you shake your giddy feelings and reenter the room with your coworkers, glancing up at raiden. his lip twitches though his face is stoic as always.

• "did he take it well?" johnny asks in a low voice. "or did he strike you down, or something?"

• "...he's fine," you try to wave it off, sweating at your temples. "peachy, actually."

• your eyes find raiden again, standing across the room. this time, he's not pretending to do anything. he's just staring back with a friendlier glint within the glow.

• "he seems in better spirits," johnny shrugs as he follows your gaze. "told you he liked you."

• "i guess you did."

[bihanspookies]

Can you please write NSFW headcanons with our gilf Victor Chevalier?

I SURE CAN

Gif credit @eurodynamic

• This guy??? This GILF??? Treats you like absolute royalty. I know these are supposed to be nsfw hc’s but this must be said. Treats you to the fanciest dinners, the most expensive clothes, beautiful jewelry (even if you don’t wear he’d get you a pricey watch or brooch).

• Victor has money, we all know this. Which means he’s going to buy you the fanciest and most expensive toys to keep you occupied when he’s not around.

• He’s very confident in his skills in the bedroom don’t get me wrong, but for the times he’s not with you he wants to make sure you’re being satisfied.

• When he IS with you, he won’t use toys bc again…. He knows what he’s doing lmao. He’d only use them if you specifically asked.

• Personally I feel like he’d be open to using toys on himself, but again only if you brought it up. Use that vibrator on him! Put those nipple clamps! Bc I know Victors freaky ass is into a little pain!

• I think he’d like very minor masochism. Yes he can be dominating but he loves when you take control every now and then. ESP if you’re sitting on his chest, raking your nails down his torso and leaving bright red lines and denying him any sort of touch on his cock? He lives for it.

• He’d have that charming yet smug smirk as he looks up at you with those pretty blue eyes, challenging and almost daring you to go a little harder. Not too hard though, he wants that perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

• Yes he will say the most sinful shit in French and even if you don’t speak it at all you WILL understand what he’s saying bc he does it as he talks.

• He’s got the perfect tone for dirty talk bc it’s kinda raspy and will shiver your timbers yfm.

• Likes to choke but just enough to feel pressure around your neck. He likes to keep his thumb on your pulse so he can feel how it speeds up as he fucks you.

• Missionary man, doggy man, against the wall man, shower man. His favorite is when he puts on of your legs over his shoulder so he can hit deeper.

• Hair long enough to grab/fist? He’s yanking to keep you from looking away.

• No hair/not long enough? He’s gripping your jaw or neck instead.

• He will slap your ass hard enough to make it red.

• He wouldn’t be into public public sex but he likes to have in open places if that makes sense. Aka on top of his building on the helicopter pad after he set up a nice romantic dinner for y’all two, on his yacht, on his private beach, the balcony of your hotel room that’s on the top floor.

• He makes sure you cum at least twice before he even thinks about himself finishing. He wants to satisfy you and make sure you’re being taken care of.

• I think he’d like finishing on your stomach and chest, but his second fav is cumming all over your cunt/cock.

• He’s not opposed to finishing inside you but after making sure it’s okay with you like 5 times.

• Oral oral oral, he loves making you fall apart with his tongue. He is a SERVICE DOM‼️

• He could spend hours between your legs and be there for so long that you get fucking chaffed from his beard 💀

• Aftercare KING. Makes sure you’re okay after finishing, gives you some comforting touches and gets up to start a bath with the nicest oils and bath salts.

• He’ll carry you if you need it and will wash you but more than likely you’ll go one more round while bathing.

• Victor Chevalier may be old but he definitely 100% still has the stamina and endurance to fuck you silly.

BONUS:

• Victor would get off on watching his subordinates fuck you and commanding them on how to touch you and treat you. He’s not a jealous man so he’d be all for watching the way you come apart on his soldiers cocks.

• Strokes himself as he watches and keeps a watchful eye to make sure you’re okay.

• He secretly loves when they cum all over you but will cause a scene if anyone finishes inside you.

• In the end he knows you’ll always come back to him 💕

[taviokapudding]

Simon Petrikov has always been a GILF and before the crown took over his mind, I think we can all agree long white haired - not ice king yet Simon was kinda hot before the madness set in

Now that I have your attention - hear me out AT fandom- what if Ice Prince in Fionna’s dreams is what Simon/Ice King thought he was throughout the original Adventure Time series?

I always thought Ice King having extremely high self confidence was just a gag or joke before we learned about who Simon was- but there’s tons of instances where he declares he’s hot & doesn’t mind showing off his body in the original. And with the canon 12 yr time skip, we know now everything about Fionna & Cake’s AU and Ice King’s actions to form the AU was based off the madness of the crown playing into Simon’s wish fulfillment, trauma, & life; but also a form of escapism from his reality as a lonely man in a world he cannot relate too.

In the original & first appearance of the AU Ice Queen is H O T {and I’m not just saying that as a pansexual} she is leagues more attractive than how Ice King was and I would argue looks more like what I think Betty would look like if she wore the crown. She’s wish fulfillment but being heavily crown coded explains why she’s no longer Simon’s mind/Fionna’s dreams.

But Ice Prince? That is way more Simon coded than crown & also doesn’t match any of the male background characters we do see in episode 1. What if that’s not just Simon wishing he could be more like Ice King but instead what he actually thought he looked like the whole time the crown controlled him for all those centuries? That would explain why Ice King was so shameless but also partially explain why Simon mentions in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake that he both misses but hates what Ice King looked like.

Yes it’s a Tuxedo Mask reference & an obvious sign Simon still has some magic powers, but you cannot deny that if Simon wanted to dress as Ice King he’d probably go a more Ice Prince style to line up with how he currently dresses. If the AU remained the AU that was all originally knew, Ice Queen would’ve been some evil Sailor Scout or Queen Beryl coded character to Fionna Campbell; Ice Prince wouldn’t be a thing if it was just an alternate universe. And that tall glass of frosty water is definitely what Simon wished he looked like {honestly me too, Ice Prince is so gender}

EDIT: Btw in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake, Ice Queen is seen as the icecream vendor and she looks nothing like Simon but way more like a cross between the Gunther penguins and crown. And yes I know Fionna “dates” Ice King in the original au - my point still stands that it’s still what Simon wanted/thought he looked like with the crown on. Fionna Campbell would be into a very blue robes & wacky eyebrows Ice Prince and Ice Queen wouldn’t be just an icecream vendor who’s nice to kids if the crown had influence still

[halfetirosie]

QUINCY, I ain't gonna lie, you're kinda ruining this fun field trip to the prison....

(Prison Cell 01-04 React-os!)

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Edmond....My lovely Tsun Tsun.... My beloved Closet Pervert....

Sureeee, you're only wearing it because it's the uniform...But looking sexy af and impressing Eiden is a fun bonus!

(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

2. 🚨 GILF ALERT!!!! 🚨

Two events in a row with the Gilfs, dude....Someone on the dev team has a hidden agenda....

Side note, this dude is handsome but I DO NOT TRUST HIM. Look at that side-eye!!! Hell no, he's SUS.

3. Oh, Quincy most certainly got himself arrested on purpose.

I mean, I already guessed as much from the previews, but still... I'm guessing there's a secret illegal Crowcave Tree logging operation going on through this prison.

And since Quincy is literally friends with old trees, he'd be REAL PISSED about it, and decide to take it down from the inside.

4. Yup, this prison is SHADY for sure...

Arresting people without a trial...plus Quincy acting real weird...

5. *Heavy sigh*

For FUCKS sake, Quincy....

The good ol' "I'm going to act cold and distant towards you and not tell you what the hell is going on, but it's only for your own protection!!" trope....

Quincy. Pal. My big ol' buddy. Come here for a sec. Lean in real close.

....

THAT SORT OF SHIT NEVER WORKS OUT. IT ONLY CAUSES A FUCK TON OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND JUST MAKES THE SITUATION MORE MESSY.

I swear to god....UGH....

6. YASSSS BITCH!!!! WE FINALLY GOT A GOOD EIDEN OUTFIT!!!!

I'm sure, but the lost 2 events were a huge let-down for me.

THIS ONE THO....

YES. I fuck with it.

7. ( -_- ) *Heavy sigh #2*

Quincy.... I think it's painfully obvious what he's doing....

What did I tell you??? Not communicating only makes shit messier.

Because SOMEONE wouldn't tell Eiden and Edmond what the FUCK is going on here, he's got no choice but to figure it out himself--or just, insert himself into the situation so you're FORCED to tell him.

UGH.... Quincy, you're killing me here.....

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Part 2 to previous post! More early Infinite Wealth ramblings.

Basically just... Kiryu. Yeah. If you know me, you'll know what to expect.

KIRYU IS HOT AUGH WOOF BARK BARK GILF ALERT GONNA DIE HMMMM YUM DELICIOUS GOD BLESS

skjfkqkskw okay. got that out of my system. I kinda cracked up at this scene. Ichiban's face here. The bit with him saying Kiryu feels kinda different, Kiryu taking of his glasses and Ichiban just going OH YEAH; THAT'S THE KIRYU I KNOW. Hilarious.

At this point Kiryu saying that isn't even funny to me. Can the higher beings of this universe let him rest? Like for real??

Deal. I'll take it. Peak. Let's do it. Let's do it RIGHT NOW. This dynamic is delicious. Clawing at my walls.

My naive ass thought the Daidoji were just going "yeah, you've done enough. fuck off anywhere you want and retire while we keep an eye on you" at the end of Gaiden. They're still making him work? HE MADE YOU ¥50BIL, LET HIM GO. God, these PEOPLE. If I see 'em, it'll be ON SIGHT.

I'm very honoured to be included in the game. What a cool surprise. Don't know how RGG Studios got a live recording of my thoughts, but I don't mind.

General thoughts about this little section:

-Kiryu seems like a very broken unit in fights and I'm living for it. This man is not leaving my party as long as I can have him.

-Kiryu is... I don't know. I know age changes people's appearances, but he looks like he's lost weight. Not just a little bit either. I'm worried.

-WOOF WOOF BARK BARK OUGH I WANT TO EAT HIM. OR EAT HIM OUT. BOTH. BOTH IS GOOD. One chance... just one chance, Kiryu. I'm on my hands and knees. How does he look this damn FINE?? AUGHHHH HMMMMM YUM

[koszmarnybudyn]

Dndads spoilers!!!!

Taylor reaction to link new scar, kinda gay dude, kinda gay

Wow this is cool.

I am expecting that tarot card the lovers inspired art now

Of course lark and sparrow can hotwire a car, of course.

Yay emotions, Will is so good at that

Wow link having a reaction to blood, love me angst

Idk what a humpy is tbh

Gentle repose :((

Lark and sparrow wth dudes? Whats up

Why normal is my fail boy

Zombie doodlerized guys yasss gimme post apo vibes!!!

Fuuuckkkk oakvale?!?!!

Barry?!??!

Fuuuuckkk he has slower aging...

Mercedes dead!!!?!!

We gotta draw gilf henry now

Your hippy ass is straight edge, thats shitty, i think if your straight age in the apocalypse you are going cultish..

How much is the time dilations if henry with the wierd aging is 60?

God normal...

Scary standing in normals way

He scamned yall, i know youre in shock now but that did happen

Kinda wanna draw scam holding hermie like a dead kid cause like..

I heard hermies a goose

Scam is being affected :(

Just thought of scam looking like pan kleks lol

"I dont want another one i want this one"

"I cant deal with another adult who think they deserve to die" ouch, but like tru basiclly all the kiddads/adults around them have been sopping wet messes of suicidaloty, these kids dont deserve that

"No hermie hated this guy"

You dont fucking come near him!" That was such a good line and the delivery!!!! So good!!!

Hermies buried under a lightining striked tree,

Will is really trying for hot henry winter with all these jokes

They brought back the sun

Link not being able to say anything nice about hermie even at his funereal

Wait they started traning them at like six? That's fucked up.

Also daddies had more workers? Cause i always assumed they at least used to, so did they?

I kinda feel like crying, but like crying blue balls, like not crying yet and probablly not gonna cry but feels like you should have so that sucks.

So Hermie's gone gone, fuckkkkkk.

Also i guess my cowboy au norm gets no gun noted.

[incurablyromanticsblog]

I desperately need the cuntiest clit eastwood movie recs rn i think i arrived at the right place

Yea you arrived at that right place, I would say something salacious about that 6 foot 4 piece of crap but I am practicing restraint.

Anyways I made the decision to watch all Clint Eastwood Films and when I watched coogans bluff I made a new metric of rating movies called:

I’m nowhere near done but I do update it as i go. As for personal recommendations, if you’re looking for moves where he just looks good enough that you want to put him through a torture chamber?

1. Coogan’s Bluff (he’s so hot and for what? To be a right wing wet dream 😔)

2. The dollars trilogy ( do I need to say anything?)

3. Le Streghre (the last sequence, he’s giving hot professor who’s good in bed which is funny within context of the film)

4. Play misty for me (absolutely unreal how good he looks except for one scene where he’s wearing tighty whities and is giving Gumby)

5. Joe Kidd (he looks very good but I have never seen a more mid movie I tell you)

And for good movies of his

1) the beguiled (he looks fantastic but this movie is a gothic psychological thriller, and a good one)

2. Dirty Harry (objectively good movie as long as you know what it’s trying to say, and he’s also hot)

3. Two Mules for Sister Sara (if you want a movie where you don’t want to think and also don’t want to be icked out I’d totally recommend this one, kinda raunchy western rom com with Shirley MacLaine)

4. Paint your wagon (it’s a bit long but if you like funny and ridiculous stuff you’ll love it, I know I did. It’s one of his silly roles and he does very good in it)

5. hang em high (very very good movie, if you like to see him suffer please watch this, he’s very pathetic in it I love it)

6. Bridges of Madison county (such a good film do not know how he directed it, but fair warning he’s a GILF in this one, id still tap it but you should know)

This could have been more cohesive but I’m at work and I wanted to really answer this ask immediately!!!

Tell me how you like the films!!!

[wyvernscales]

Rather than make a post for each of my DATV thoughts, I’ve just put them all here. Spoilers for all of act 1:

Not Varric fulfilling the Duncan role this game

Why only Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain tho? Why aren’t they all out

Strife!!! He doesn’t like me :(

FREAK DARKSPAWN ARE BACK BAYBEEE

Would smash the nadas dirthalen

Well D’Meta’s crossing was gross.

Why is there a human mayor of a town in Arlathan and why does he care about Ghilannain?

A Morrigan intro that doesn’t have her saying “well, well”????????

VALTA!HARDING

Bbg I’m so confused by the crossroads I don’t like these mapsssss

TEIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Faceless horde of identical qunari occupying a city? How original.

Caterina’s kind of a gilf ngl

Underwater level uwu

Spite’s kinda…

No! Another gilf down :(

oh? Is the oracle the same thing that valta heard???

Yeah, yeah, dangerous relics or whatever. I’ve got kitties to pet and pottery to eviscerate

LuCANIS! All this talk of coffee kisses in front of your cousin??

Why is the Butcher called the Butcher if he’s the leader of the Antaam?

Why would the qamekmaster call them human traitors if all non-qunari are bas?

You can’t seriously make me believe the Crows are a moral group fighting for justice

Governor Ivenci only referred to with gender neutral pronouns. Another nb win

And Why would the Venatori be knowingly working with elven gods??

MAEVARIS MAEVARIS MAEVARIS

I don’t care how long I have to go running around killing darkspawn to get the chest in the creepy blight tree, I’m GETTING the chest

Worth it.

Idk, I’ve always imagined the Anderfels as snowy not… cactusy

Antoine is perhaps the most French man to exist ever. Not even Orlesian, French.

Hold on, I’ve gotta explode this cactus with my body

Gloom Howler’s kinda hot

Jesus FUCK this blighted dragon

Noticing a suspicious lack of anyone responding to Varric’s existence….

MYRNAAAAAA

TAAAAASH

When Harding talks about the inquisition all I can think about is the inconsistencies? Like, why would she remember Cole if he left or remained a spirit?

EEMMRICHHHHHH

I’ve only known this wisp for one second and if anything bad happens to it I will kill everyone and then myself

Em has canon father energy

LEMME AT THESE fucking CHESTS IN THE NECROTORIUM

MANFREDDSD

Ykw. Vorgoth can get it too

BELOVED Taash feeds the birdies

Karash has non binary swag

Wait wait. If Taash’s mom left the Qun bc she didn’t want her child to be in the Antaam, which would make them functionally a man then why is she ok with Taash being a warrior anyway? Seems odd to do this kinda plot with a group we’ve already established transness with

You can’t seriously think I’m gonna save the capital of the slave empire.

Davrin is dadcore

FORMLESS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

A BELOVED wisp has gifted me a SPOON!

Astrolabe Restored

Well. Goodnight shadow dragons I guess.

candle hops are such cuties

My inquisitior would not behave like this.

So Aveline’s the Viscount and she’s allied with Sebastian, a guy who tried to annex Kirkwall in my worldstate

I kinda wanna play “Inquisitor saves Southern Thedas 2 Electric Boogaloo” if I’m being honest

I already collected all the wolfs regrets before meeting Inky. So. Yeah. That was a lot.

SO FLEMETH IS DEAD FRFR?????

How come the other gods are crazy looking and Mythal is just a normal elf

Oh this echo in the well thing is gonna be cool

Truly don’t know how much of these blight sound effects I can take tbh

ARE WE GOIN TO KAL SHAROK BAYBEE???

The Kal-Sharok armor kinda reminds me of the Sha-Brytol

The Valdasine Thaig is the primeval Thaig in 2 btw

VALTAAAAA

Ugh. I’ve always hated the ‘the old gods are related to the evanuris’ thing (tho I guess it’s not a theory). But we all thought Elgar’nan was Dumat tho right?

And if you can kill the Gods with the lyrium dagger, why didn’t he just do that? Like, we’ve already established that killing them with the dagger just fragments them.

I get that the fate of weisshaupt and all the wardens is important or whatever, but I’ve got chests to open beybee

Yeah bc it’s super easy to just off an Archdemon. what do you mean davrin’s killing it….

Well now killing an archdemon while it’s all tied down’s a bit unfair

Oh.

God that archdemon fight sucked.

[kitsumidori]

I've been wanting to do some refs for the characters post BL3 design and to start off, here 2/6 of the main siren's

Lilith

After saving Pandora from being crushed by Elpis (with a little help from Maya's phaselock) she was left gravelly injured and was on the verge of death, but was able to pull though.

Retired. Look if you'd been used as a battery, been stabbed while as a battery, got half of your powers and life drained and almost died while flying to the moon then yeah you'll want to retire.

Looks old as shit, even has a few gray hairs. She's kinda rockin it.

Upgraded to gilf status since Angel and Gaige's son was born.

That weird purple stuff on her right hand.... that was from stopping Elpis from colliding with Pandora

It's a rash similar to being vault touched but the markings look more...elegant..

Maya

New leader of the Crimson Raiders.

Married to Krieg and is a mother of 5 daughters (most of whom are adults now)

Garfield slippers because Garfield is awesome.

Did go back to Athenas at one point.....so she and her team could finish off the rest of the monk and disband The Order of the Impending Storm for good after learning that they never learned their lesson and are still corrupt.

The bracelet was something that Salem made when she was 4, Maya loved it so much and has rarely taken it off.

[butwhatifidothis]

Ever get tired of talking about cans fic? Wanna talk about the absolute missed opportunity that was making sothis a gremlin child and not a milf or even possibly a gilf instead?

Eh, kinda yeah kinda no regarding getting tired of talking about the fic.

Like, the actual act of reading the actual fic? Genuinely ass. Like, I've actually read up to and fully written out the notes for Chapter 62. I tried reading the first sentence of Chapter 63 right afterwards, saw it was a Rhea POV chapter, and went back to reading my otome isekais. That was around late November, and I've still yet to read any more of Chapter 63. The act of reading through something this horrible requires a lot of long breaks in-between sessions of reading.

But! In doing so I also get to talk about aspects of writing, and about 3H in particular, which I love doing. I like geeking out over aspects of writing like characterization, consistency, logical throughlines, character growth, etc. and being able to do so with such a horrible example of pretty much all of that is kinda fun, ngl.

And I also get to see and tackle so, so many of the asinine, horrendous takes that have made this fandom such a volatile space, such as:

Teacher Theory

Edelgard being some poor hapless maiden waiting for her love to save her from her unfair and unjust fate of being "branded" a villain

Dimitri being so toxic and "gone" that he needs to be killed since he just can't "listen to reason" anymore (and that actually him getting killed would make him happier)

the same essentially being said about Rhea

Lonato being a just man during his rebellion, as well as Christophe being just in his attempt to kill Rhea

Nabateans as a race being to blame for all of humanity's problems and so needing to take accountability for all of humanity's wrongs

Claude not actually caring about Fodlan and just wanting to conquer it so he can do better when he goes back to Almyra

Byleth needing to be completely human and needing to reject their Nabatean heritage in order to become happy

Edelgard being the only one among the lords + Rhea to ever care for Byleth

Everyone's best self being found only on CF

the idea that anyone defending themselves against Edelgard's attempt on their life in the Holy Tomb would be the aggressor instigating war against Edelgard

Edelgard caring so much about the people and being the only lord to care about the people

Sothis wanting Byleth to choose Edelgard over everyone else

Everyone making Edelgard kill them

And so on and so forth; this fic has pretty much all of them. In a way, reading this fic and breaking it down lets me have one, concentrated area where I get to dissect exactly how and why all of these takes are either shitty, genuinely disgusting, stupid as hell, or a mix of some/all of those things. And given the fact that Cap'n and multiple people in the fandom want this fic to be taken as meta/required reading, and with this basically being an amalgamation of all of Cap'n's genuine takes on the game (+ those of other Edelstans), going over exactly why such an influential thing is so wrong feels fitting lol. It's a pain to actually have to read through, especially with the pretentious and self-pitying holier-than-thou prose making things hard to actually physically read, but the result of doing so makes it worth it imo.

Buuuut to get off of that: yes, it was an extremely huge missed opportunity that Sothis was a stupid fuckin' loli instead of her actual self. Or, I guess more accurately, that she didn't physically become her actual self after merging with Byleth, or at least become physically closer to it. Full Mommy Sothis is so beautiful from the little we see of her! And the idea of her looking more like how she used to as she gains more of her memories would've been cool to see! And, uh, also, I feel an adult body would make her garb feel less... unfortunate to look at (ngl I get Nowi vibes looking at Sothis and I Do Not Like Nowi's clothing design that much).

I feel there was a lot missed with Sothis tho, and that that's mostly the case because the game more wants the feeling of a mystery to hang around the game more than it does actually writing a mystery with a conclusion. Sothis was seen regaining bits and pieces of her former life as a god, so if she stayed around long enough she could have revealed things to the player that were meant to be hidden. Same with Rhea - she could talk about a lot of the background knowledge of Fodlan's history that could have fleshed out the world so much more. But doing that would "spoil the fun" so to speak; there wouldn't be a mystery anymore, which the writers seemed to prioritize more than actually making the mystery fulfilling to figure out.

So Sothis gets yeeted out of the story halfway through, and Rhea is either an unavailable damsel in distress or a person pushed past their breaking point and thus unable to talk to. That's why Rhea's lore dumps on SS and VW are so rushed and forced - the writers knew they had to eventually get to the end of the mystery, and so held off as long as possible. At least, that interpretation of the writing can exist, given how they've written everything lol

[courfaeriedust]

10 Characters and 10 Fandoms

rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same

thank you @pinkasrenzo for tagging me 💕

Kaleidotrope: Hal. You cannot make me choose between Harridrew so I am choosing Hal. This is fine and it is fine that you made me choose I’m fine

Les Mis: (wait this is still a Les Mis blog? Who knew) Obviously it is Courfeyrac. Sweetest boy. Baby. I love him and miss him. do I exist in other fandoms???

Fuck it, Scorpio Races, Sean Kendrick, c’mon. “I won’t be your weakness, Sean Kendrick”/“It’s late for that, Puck.” Screams. Just. Screams, okay. They were insane for that.

also fuck it, SJM has taken over my life recently, when will I be free of these books, but I am a Rhysand girlie so thoroughly that I will even call myself a girlie for him.

Leverage is a difficult toss up between Parker and Eliot but today Eliot has the edge

West Wing! I am so normal about that show!! Let’s be real I’m a Josh Lyman girl but ALSO how can I leave out CJ, how can I leave out Charlie, how can I leave out Sam, how can I leave out Toby, how can I leave out Donna? All that is to say, Leo McGarry is a gilf and I’m unexpectedly into it.

oh the NIGHT CIRCUS yesss it’s between Poppet Widget and Bailey, right now it is Widget, but honestly how much of that is from my own personal headcanons, I don’t care, that’s my sweet boy who’s accidentally kinda sorta in love with his sister’s boyfriend but maybe that’s just because he’s so used to reading the past on people that he doesn’t know what it might feel like first-hand.

For Murderbot it’s Murderbot, obviously, as if there’s any competition.

Grishaverse, look, it’s Nikolai, I am a slut for duty and men who don’t go after what they want because they have a responsibility to something bigger than them. This also explains Rhys if you were wondering.

aaaaand finally, had to go through my Discord servers to remember what else I like but this list has been horribly missing podcasts so we will go with Penumbra. I am going to say Buddy! a) because I still lose it laughing every time I think about the Buddy System, b) because. Ah. The end of season 3 (?) just. Aa. Yeah. Iykyk

No pressure tagging @crowleyanthonys @mayerwien @bluereadingdolphin @lolotr @pipkin-the-hellion @hiddenlookingglass @litners-lending-library @spyderinej @sternguckerin @fjordexplorer

[slashingdisneypasta]

What are some things you like about Jim? :3 please absolutely feel free to gush about him ❤

My friend- my friend- there are so many things!! XDD

All the Jim love-under the cut:

He's so many tropes I like crammed into one character!! ^^ :

Creepy/pervy old man ('Maybe I'll come back for ya, huh??' // 'Girls, I got guns.' // Oh god- ).

Lesser of two evils villain (From the 'Plot twist' villain in Final Chapter to the 'Comedic relief' antagonist in Vs Anaconda).

Main villain to fan favourite side character pipeline.

Villain Version of another character (Reba. They shoulda gotten so much ore screen time together for this reason!! ahh)

Crazy old man / Old Loon / Loony tune-ish (Goes 'Here kitty kitty... ' to giant crocs and laughs when he's being hunted by them 😅) / 'Nutbag'. ('What's this- what's this... 'nutbag'... is that what they're calling me in town, now?- ')

... gilf...

'Played by Robert Englund'

Also:

Flannels

SO! MANY! EMOTIONS! AND VIBES! Most characters I notice have a 'resting vibe' that the actors stick with almost the whole time but Jim goes through moods like the weather. One moment he's bashful and guilty, then the next he's intimidating or defensive or threatening, then he could get all excited. I love that! That's so much fun to watch!

For example in Final Chapter when Chloe's accusing him of being a Poacher and he goes through like 10 personalities in one interaction?? He goes from 'Alright fine you got me- i'm a greedy old fart' (Defensive), to 'But right now I'm just trynna save Dennis sorry tree huggin ass and I could really use some help here' (Almost sympathetic). And then two seconds later he's all excited, going on about how he's gonna be rich- then abruptly cuts it off with a glare and that 'You with me??... giddyup.'

ALSO!! When Reba's like 'Can I call you Jimmy?' and he gets all bashful like *shrugs* aw, yeah sure then immediately switches to upset when she calls him a nutbag 😅😅

(Basically, he's crazy)

This is catnip to me XDD The writer in me wants so badly to write characters like that!!

How he talks is so much fun! I love characters who I can read their lines and hear exactly how they were said in my head (Reba is the same here! :D )

He's terrible... but he's also not that bad?? Like, yeah he's a greedy poacher and he may threaten people with a gun now and then 😅😅 But he's kinda nice to Max (Apart from threatening to shoot him 😅😅), going like 'yeah, even you son. in you go' or something when he was putting all the teenagers (?? Eighteen year olds I guess?? I dunno) in the house. And also he thinks Murdoch's crazy for having such little regard for human life. MAN- this means he has SOME!!! good in him!! I'm very excited about this XD Do you know how rare that is in Englund characters?? 😂 Even rarer in characters I like-

He looks right at a giant angry crocodile and says shit like 'Your babies are omelettes now'. I'm sorry, but that was hot-

HE'S CLEVER!

*Gets attacked by a falling snake skin* *Gets left behind by group* *... struggling to get up and brush himself off, absolutely startled and also deeply offended he was just left like that* "... I'M FINE! JUST FINE!" That was the funniest part in the Vs Anaconda XD

When he threatens to sue Murdock?? Like my man, you already tried to sue Nathan and it didn't work, haven't you learned?-

He's also so handsome ^^ <3

[the-official-account]

episode.......25

and so it begins...or ends!

anything can kill a vampire it just has to happen a lot alsdfjal;sdjfasdlfkjas

"what do we have in the way of the tommy gun...ACAB but i'll take it" asdjlfa;sdlfjasf

one of my favorite parts of ttrpgs is the whole "buckle down to fight a boss" bits they're so satafying, the anticipation if palpable

okay the trip threat has been adjusted but in my mine vellum is still for sure looking 👀👀👀😳😳😳

spar is like "Bestie I have one emotionally intelligent braincell on loan from anya...but i'll do my best!!!" (I'm exaggerating, he's pretty savvy but asd;lfas;dlf)

I love how bridge worship's providence and their whole deal is STILL "dont fucking mess with those cards"

"When i don't know what to do I try to think about what makes the people I care about safest" Where's that *gently holds* image when you need it because AAAAWWWWHHHHHHH.

" we could try locking them up?" Spar no asldfja;wdsjf

The dreamy sigh i let out when spar said the whole "I trust you with my life" thing. That's the gayest shit he's said yet, I think.

Okay but all im saying is consider Xbala/Anya/Tatiana. Just consider. Really think on this. the ultimate chaos trio

"It's Xbala"

"Does she have anya with her?"

"yes"

it was establish that anya was standing behind her but my initial mental image was FOR SURE Xbala carrying's anya under one arm dfghsadflhgsfgsld

I feel like spar is trying to hard to exude "man of the house" energy all the time and normally that would work except 80% of people in the podcast see him as a younger brother-ish-situation. But he did good with anya!!!!

I think they should give anya a knife and set her lose though, that's just my opinion

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA, SEE A LAWYER AND PICK EM IPAS DFA;LDSJFAS BY STUPID DOODLE IS CANNON NOW I HAVE DECIDED.

:O SPAR DON'T BE MEAN TO XBALA!!

"look i had real qualms about manhandling a lawyers" asdfjha;sdjfa;skdfj

"AND ANYAS LIKE i would bite you" QUEEEEEEN SHIT OH MY GOD

OF COURSE FUCKING DIAMOND IS TRYING TO DITCH OUT ON THE FUCKING DEAL. UGH!!! (DEROGATORY!) TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO!

Diamond better not be saying they're going to that meeting.

ipswitch noooo. Ipswitch i like you so much but don't fall for thissss noooo. something sus is like fore SURE going down adn i dunno what it is but i DO NOT trust it

COMMUTES VIA PARKOUR WHILE BLINDFOLDED HE'S SUCHHHH AS FUNNY LITTLE GUY!!!!!! OH MY BGOD

oh my god vellum but as a baby.....wait who is iris? I may not know an iris yet but I am VERY interested in vellum's work friends (in inventing names of one(1) random character for a fic I chose, or all names, naomi...........)

SPAR MAKING MATCHING SHIT FOR HIM AND SOREL IS SO PRECIOUS HOLY FUCK.

what ARE the xbala anya vibes. OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CONSIDERED THAT SHIP. Ooooh Xbanya is a really good name. Xatianya also??? At some point if you cram enough names together they make one (1) sci-fi russian princess.

Yeha maybe Lunavella's just a GILF. THE CAT/BIRD ENERGY there are layers...there are LAYERS to this yeah as;kldfja;lsjdf

as a listener I had not considered this I would assume the poleaxe was just like. a socially acceptable and sexy addition to an outfit

LALSDFJLSDFHGALKJSFD i was waiting for spar's reaction to the triple threat

I feel like if you're headed to the truth booth in your relatioship it oughta be ending anyway

MERIM I'VE BEEN ABANDONED BY MY DATE NOOOOOO Jakub ditching lunavella for QC is understandable and probably the best strategic but still a bit lame

Luna is sticking with vellum and bc you just KNOW she's a god at that etch-a-sketch. The kiddies in the olde elven kinda garden couldn't HOPE to keep up.

DIAMOND CAN YOU RESPECT EPIPLE'S AUTONOMY FOR FIVE MINUTES?

OOOOH THAT TELEPORTATION IDEA IS RAD

OOOOH THE HOUSING BEING FAKE IS SO GOOD

Do all the pendant work? Did they find a way to manufacturer more? If they can surgery everyone wearing a pendant like giving them diamond's mind control is a massive L but being able to identify that many members is super useful? Also fuck diamond.

"diamond is frozen in time" haha. Bitch.

EEEEEE voracity outing Merim like that aiiiiiint great. VORACITY YOU LEAVE SPAR THE FUCK ALONE. FUCK.

I really hope they get their backup in soon. Ahhh!!!!!

I'm glad to be caught up. My blood pressure will be slightly higher for the next 2 weeks

@threeheartscast