#Kali x thomas

[sadprose-auroras]

hiiii i was wondering if i could make a request for a hazel x reader where reader is beaten up by someone not from fight club and hazel gets really protective and rounds up the rest of the club to retaliate

Hey, thank you for your request! Sorry it took a hot min, this one took on a life of its own. Not sure how I feel about it tbh, but please let me know what you think! xx

Content warning: targeted violence, themes of bullying, cursing

Word count: 3.7k

You were well aware that Jeff, star quarterback, most popular guy in school, widely celebrated asshole, completely had it in him to take his bullying way too far. You couldn’t ever forget the first time you saw him beat somebody to a pulp.

It was eighth grade, and you were an awkward, shy thing, just trying to navigate schoolwork and friendships. To put it simply, you were figuring out who you were and your place in the world. There were so many questions swirling around in your head. Why did you feel an immense swirling sensation in your tummy when your classmate, Hazel Callahan, would sit next to you in class when nobody else would? Was it normal to be so deeply enamoured by the clothes she wore, her hairstyle, her school supplies, so much so that you would try and emulate an outfit she’d worn, to beg your mom for a haircut like hers, to buy the same pencil case she had, just because she was the coolest person you knew? Reflecting back, of course, you had a crush on her, and didn’t know how to express it. But at the time, you thought you just really wanted to be her best friend and not leave her side for a moment.

At this awkward pre-pubescent stage, Jeff and all his football buddies seemed to be way older, more mature, and you were terrified of them. Jeff, especially. He had always been a bully, shoving kids out of his way in the school halls and calling people derogatory names. But he only seemed to be getting worse. And every time you passed him in the hallway, your heart was in your throat as you kept your head down and walked faster. Was this the time he was going to target you?

One day, you were in the schoolyard, sitting on a bench with Hazel chatting about a book that Hazel had lent to you. One that, to your surprise and deep excitement, included two of the girl characters sharing a kiss on the lips. Vampires, at that. You thought that was the coolest thing ever. You’d read that same passage over and over, enthralled at that even being a possibility. It had crossed your mind that you really wanted to kiss Hazel like that.

“So… did you like it?” she asked with an expectant smile. You nodded incessantly.

“Oh my god, it was AMAZING! The vampires were SO cool, Kali and Anna were my favourite characters by far! I wanna be a vampire,” you gushed, flushing a deep shade of red when Hazel giggled.

“Dude, I knew you’d say that!” she said. “You so don’t wish you were a vampire, you love the sun!” You laughed and shrugged. She was completely right.

“You know me well, Haze,” you laughed.

“Hey?” Hazel asked, chewing on the end of the straw on her juice box. She looked nervous.

“Hm?”

“I have to tell you something.” Your heart started going a million miles an hour.

“What is it?”

“Well-“ before she could finish, a commotion out of the corner of your eye caught both of your attentions. You whipped your head around to see a large group gathered around two people on the floor. It was Jeff, holding down a kid and punching him. Over. And over. And over. You quickly realised it was a boy in your English class, Thomas, who you’d never really talked to but was a shy nerd like you. He seemed nice; he had lent you a pencil once. To your horror, he didn’t even seem to be moving. And Jeff was cackling. Maniacally.

“Oh god, what do we do?” you asked frantically. “We should get a teacher, right?” Although there were a bunch of kids cheering him on, it didn’t feel right.

“Yeah, come on!” Hazel said, grabbing your hand and dragging you behind her as you rushed off together to find a teacher. You couldn’t tell if it was the handholding, or the life and death situation, that was giving you more adrenaline.

------------------------------------------------------------

Now that you were all seniors, you were only more terrified of Jeff. He had never targeted you, luckily, but you had witnessed his increasing violent nature towards many of your other classmates. As for Hazel, the vampire book situation all those years ago had been somewhat of an awakening for you; you were totally, completely in love with your best friend. You never, ever told her though, your fear of rejection outweighing anything else. The closest you got was telling her you liked girls when you were having a sleepover for your sixteenth birthday. There was something about sleepovers that made you feel like you could talk about things you usually weren’t brave enough to. To your delight, she told you the exact same thing moments later.

Shockingly, you and Hazel had finally branched out and spoke to people besides each other. Your other friends, PJ and Josie, made you a perfect little foursome. You had bonded over your respective codependent friendships. You first heard about the fight club when PJ and Josie told you and Hazel over lunch that they had created a self-defence club to sleep with cheerleaders.

“We’re teaching them how to defend themselves, next thing we know, Isabel and Brittany are kissing us on the mouths!” PJ addressed Josie, flailing her arms around.

“Can we join?” you asked, then realised how that sounded, laughing. “I mean-“

Hazel squinted at you from the sun, furrowing her brows in confusion. Your heart skipped a beat; her eyes particularly sparkled in the sunshine.  

“You want both of us” – she pointed back and forth between herself and you – “to join those two” – she gestured at PJ and Josie – “in kissing Brittany and Isabel!?”

“No, no,” you say quickly. “The club. Can we join the club?”

“Yeah, sure!” Josie said.

“I mean, I guess, except we don’t want the losers to outweigh everyone else. No offense,” PJ says, and you shrug, entirely not offended.

“You’re not wrong,” you chuckle. “We are decidedly losers.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the murky intentions PJ and Josie had for starting the club, it began to take on a life of its own. The mismatched groups of girls really began to bond, and you found yourself emotionally fulfilled in a new way that you hadn’t really experienced before. Being able to talk about deep things with a group of girls you knew had your back, and vice versa, was life changing. You noticed a significant difference in how you felt at school. Before, you were on edge most of the time and relatively lonely in a lot of your classes. Now, you had people to sit with, to say ‘hi’ to in the hallways. It was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders that you didn’t know existed.

One evening after a particularly long club meeting, you were the last one to leave, packing up after everybody else had left. You were humming to yourself as you worked, the warm feeling you had inside from hanging out with your friends still lingering. It was ironic how beating each other up brought you so close. Once you finished, you left the gym, backpack slung over your shoulder and keys in hand as you walked into the carpark. You noticed a figure moving in your general direction out of the corner of your eye but didn’t think much of it; there were lots of people still around school, coming out of their extracurriculars. Just as you had unlocked your car, the footsteps neared, and you whipped around to be met with Jeff standing over you threateningly. You gulped.

“May I help you?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even as not to show how terrified you were of him.

“Yeah, actually,” he said, crossing his arms. “I’ve had enough of your little girls group taking attention away from football. You’re all over the school, and it’s done. You’re all done.”

“I don’t know what you expect us to do,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” You shoved him away, going to get into your car. Before you could, he reached out and pushed the door closed.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said, and your heart sank.

------------------------------------------------------------

The first place you thought to go after Jeff beating you up was Hazel’s house. You practically sped to get there, unable to stop the sobs wracking your body. As you pulled into her driveway, you let out a sigh of relief noticing that her mum’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Barely stopping to take off your seatbelt before rushing out of the car, you ran up to the door and rang the doorbell twice in a row. It didn’t take long for you to hear footsteps, and the door swung open to Hazel dressed in sweatpants and a cozy jumper. She murmured your name, eyes scanning your face with concern.

“What happened?”

Without speaking, you practically fell into her arms in a hug, only crying harder. She engulfed you with her arms, stroking your hair comfortingly.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” she whispered, rubbing a hand up and down your back. You hiccupped, pulled away from the hug and wiped some tears from your eyes with your sleeve.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You wordlessly took Hazel’s outstretched hand, following her to the bathroom. You hoisted yourself up onto the sink, swinging your legs. Hazel started collecting supplies: damp cloths, antiseptic, band aids, bruise ointment. As you watched her, face deep in concentration as she murmured to herself about what she needed, you felt a surge of love for her.

“Thank you,” you whispered, voice dripping with sincerity. She looked at you funnily as if to say, you don’t need to thank me, don’t be ridiculous.

“Okay, I’m just going to-“ she said gently, stepping between your legs and beginning to gently dab the blood off your face. As she worked, you watched her, suppressing tears at the realisation that you couldn’t feel any safer and protected with her by your side. God, you loved her. As she applied antiseptic, she shook her head in disbelief.

“Who did this to you?” she asked, visibly seething.

“Jeff,” you said quietly, lip quivering. Steam practically blew out of Hazel’s ears. Her movements ceased for a moment, and she pressed her lips tightly together.

“He deserves to die,” she said matter of factly.

“I don’t disagree,” you murmur.

“Hey?” you ask, making eye contact with her. You realise how truly close your faces are, and your heart rate increases rapidly. You let out a shuddering breath, trying to keep your composure.

“Can I stay here tonight, please?” you ask, desperately trying to suppress the urge to be embarrassed. You just really didn’t want to be alone.

“Of course. You don’t even have to ask, you know that.” Her voice was so gentle, you practically melted.

“Thanks, Haze,” you said, as she finished cleaning you up.

“All done,” she said, beginning to pack away everything. You hop off the bench, taking the painkillers and water she hands you gratefully.

“Thank you,” you say as you pop the tablets into your mouth and swallow them with a big gulp of water.

“Stop thanking me,” Hazel chuckled lightly. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You followed her to her bedroom, suddenly feeling unusually nervous. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t slept in each other’s beds before. Sleepovers were a major part of your friendship when you were younger, and more recently were particularly convenient when you got a little too drunk to get home. Perhaps there was something about the added layer of vulnerability to your state that was making you feel shyer with your best friend. As you contemplated this, shuffling back and forth on your feet, Hazel retrieved a soft t-shirt and shorts for you to wear to bed. She threw them at you, and you caught them with a soft smile.

“Thanks, dude.” You moved into an alcove in the corner of her room, turning to face the wall as you heard Hazel shuffling around, presumably getting changed as well. You desperately fought the urge to turn around, unsure if the tension in the room you could feel just at the thought of you both getting changed at the same time was in your head. But you swore, you could feel it. You pulled Hazel’s shorts up, tying them at the waist and trying to ignore the fact that the t-shirt she had lent you smelt like her. Although it was difficult not to. You folded your clothes, placing them on a chair, then turned around to find Hazel in a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms and a white tank top, sitting on her bed scrolling on her phone.

“You look cute,” she remarked in an indecipherable tone, and you couldn’t entirely tell if she was joking or not. Since eighth grade, you’d definitely developed your own style apart from Hazel’s, and her clothes on you were not your style at all. You poked you tongue out at her, as you walked over and got under the covers, snuggling down. It was easier to fall back into your friendship as it had always been in those moments, where you were unsure if she was feeling the same way. Otherwise, you might have to actually confess your own feelings, which was completely terrifying.

Hazel followed your lead, placing her phone down on the nightstand and pushing the covers back so she could get in, pulling them up to her chin and turning over to face you. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you for everything, Haze,” you said, shutting your eyes. If you looked into hers for a second longer you might actually explode.

“I’d do anything for you,” she whispered, so softly you could barely hear it. Before you knew it, you were drifting off.

------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning you awoke to sun pouring in the curtains, and you slowly opened your eyes, stretching your back and yawning. Despite the events of last night, you actually slept better than you had in weeks. The pain in your face had subsided a lot already. You rolled over to face Hazel’s side of the bed, heart sinking when you found it empty. Confused, you rolled back over and reached for your phone, touching the screen. Realisation flooded in. It was 9:00am on a Thursday. A text from Hazel was waiting for you, which she had sent half an hour earlier.

morning! i let you sleep, hope that’s okay. wasn’t sure if u were gonna go to school today. text me if you need anything <3

You smiled softly to yourself, eyes focused on the heart she sent a little longer than necessary. You quickly replied.

Thank youuuu, needed that sleep in. I think I will come to school, I’ll see you for second period probs xx

After hitting send, you got out of bed, making sure to make it neatly before deciding to go and quickly take a shower. After you stripped out of your clothes and waited for the water to warm up, you took a moment to examine your face in the mirror. It felt significantly better than last night, as if Hazel’s touch was magic. The bruising around your eyes was starting to come out, you had a small cut on your cheekbone, and the eye that you could barely open last night was much less swollen. You stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to relax your muscles with a sigh.

Little did you know, as you were sleeping that morning, Hazel had called an emergency meeting of the fight club. She was on a mission, and absolutely nothing was going to stop her. All she kept seeing in her mind’s eye was your face when you showed up on her doorstep, beaten and bloody, sniffling, eyes brimming with tears. To see you like that, the person she loved more than anyone in the world, shattered her heart. She had to get revenge, and she needed some help.

“Are we all clear on the plan?” Hazel asked, looking around at the group. It felt strange for the whole club to be there with you missing; she certainly noticed your absent presence. Normally, you’d be next to her, sitting cross-legged, and tapping your fingers on your leg like you do, exchanging glances with Hazel when something funny happened. She basically ached at the thought.

“Let’s fucking do it!” PJ yelled, banging the handle of a broom on the ground. Everyone else cheered and clapped in agreement.

“Let’s kill him,” Isabel said, narrowing her eyes with determination. She had her own reasons to want to do this.

------------------------------------------------------------

By the time you pulled into the carpark at school, the bell was just ringing, indicating the end of the first period. You weren’t going to lie, you were nervous about running into Jeff, but you prayed that there were enough people around during the actual school day that he couldn’t get you again. Just as you stepped out of your car, you heard a commotion coming from behind you. You frowned, swinging your backpack over your shoulder to follow the noise of people shouting.  Rounding the corner to the other side of the carpark, your hand flew to your mouth. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Hazel, along with all your friends from fight club, were stood over a football-uniform clad guy on the ground, who you couldn’t see from your angle. As other students had gathered around to watch, whooping and cheering, your friends were taking turns to punch, kick, stomp on, and slap the guy on the ground.

“THAT’S FOR CHEATING ON ME WITH MY SISTER!” Isabel cried out, kicking hard. That’s when it dawned on you; the guy on the ground, who was barely moving, unable to get out of the girls’ grips, was Jeff.

“THAT’S FOR Y/N!” Hazel yelled, in a voice you had never heard her use before, swinging both of her fists down hard on Jeff’s face multiple times. You approached the group, pushing past the onlooking crowd. You couldn’t believe how many people were supporting this. The way Jeff was thoroughly worshipped in school was obscene. Perhaps everybody was just waiting for someone to get back at him first. You approached your friends, taking a deep breath to yourself. They all turned to look at you as Josie was kicking Jeff in the head blood dripping from his mouth. Isabel was watching on proudly. You placed your hand on Hazel’s shoulder, and she spun around.

“Hey,” you murmured, smiling softly.

“I-uh-“ she began, as if she was about to explain herself, then you shook your head.

“Can I get in on this?” you asked, and she visibly relaxed, grinning.

“You’re not mad?”

“Fuck, no! You’re so brave for doing this, to be the first to give him what he deserves.” With that, you turned your attention to the guy lying on the ground, smiling at the sight of him groaning, bleeding, looking like absolute death.

“Hey, remember me?” you asked, before bringing your fist down on his face. Hard. And then again. And then again. And once more. Your friends, as well as the crowd watching on, cheered you on. The last punch you threw caused Jeff’s head to fall to the side as he passed out. You stood up proudly, looking around at your friends.

“I love you guys,” you grinned, and you all engulfed each other in a big group hug, all congratulating each other and saying how much you all loved each other. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Hazel’s hand resting on the small of your back. You all pulled away, and as everybody fell into chatter you grabbed Hazel’s hand and pulled her with you away from the crowd.

“Where are we going?” she asked with a laugh, awkwardly trailing behind you in a half jog, half walk.

“Here,” you said breathlessly, stopping when you rounded a corner to a quiet spot.

“Thank you for protecting me.” Your voice was still breathless, your head spinning with anticipation. It was now or never. Before Hazel could respond, you leant against the brick wall of the building behind you, pulling her toward you by her waist. She cupped your face, and your lips met. Desire pooled in your stomach as your lips slotted together perfectly, moving together in sync. Her lips were way softer than they looked, and you had spent a lot of time looking at them.

Hazel pulled away slightly, and you instinctively chased her lips. She smirked, eyes scanning your face. You flushed deeply.

“Oh my god,” she said in that voice that made you want to melt into the floor, and you laughed in disbelief.

“I know,” you whispered before kissing the corner of her mouth. She smiled at this, pushing a strand of your hair out of your eyes. If it was anybody else, you would feel insecure about your swollen eye and bruised face, you would worry that you weren’t attractive, but it didn’t cross your mind once with Hazel. She made you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

“I didn’t know-“ you both started to say at the same time, then giggled. You were literally giddy.

“You go,” you said.

“I didn’t know you liked me.”

“I didn’t know you liked me,” you replied, laughing.

“Do you remember-“ Hazel started, then cleared her throat. “Do you remember that book I lent you in eighth grade about those gay vampires?”

“That was literally my gay awakening,” you said with a laugh, unable to believe that she remembered that. “Wait, what does that-“

“I’ve been in love with you since then,” Hazel suddenly said, and your heart caught in your throat. You pulled Hazel even closer to you by her belt loops, and she gasped. You kissed her more passionately this time, your head spinning.

“I’m in love with you too,” you murmured when you pulled away, foreheads resting together.

[knightofleo]

Adrianne Lenker, Akini Jing, alva noto, Aphex Twin, Ariana Grande, Arooj Aftab, Art School Girlfriend, Astoria, Astrid Sonne, Ativin, AT-XYA, Barrie, Bat for Lashes, BbyMutha, BEA1991, Belén Aguilera, berlioz, Beth Gibbons, Beyoncé, Big Ever, Brimheim, BRONQUIO, The Bug, Burial, Caribou, Cassandra Jenkins, Charly Bliss, Cheekface, Chelsea Wolfe, Coined, Dawn Richard, The Deep, DjRUM, Douglas Dare, Drown, Enrico Demuro, Entrañas, Father John Misty, Fennec, Forest Swords, Fine, Footballhead, Floating Points, Four Tet, Fousheé, Gesaffelstein, Ghostly Kisses, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Greg Mendez, Hakushi Hasegawa, Hana Vu, Hannah Elizabeth Cox, Henrik Lindstrand, Horse Jumper Of Love, Hour, Hovvdy, HUNJIYA, illuminati hotties, Ingrid Witt, James K, Jane Remover, Jeff Rona, Jessica Pratt, Joan As Police Woman, Joanna Sternberg, Joe Goddard, Julia Holter, Julia Kent, Julieta, Kali Uchis, KAYTRANADA, Keeley Forsyth, KETTAMA, Kim Gordon, Laryssa Kim, Lip Critic, Lisa Gerrard, Lonnie Holley, Loren Kramar, Macseal, Magdalena Bay, Maria Chiara Argirò, Martha Skye Murphy, Masayoshi Fujita, Matthew Bourne, meg elsier, Memphis LK, Meth Math, MJ Lenderman, Moor Mother, Mustafa, Naomi Sharon, Nicolas Jaar, Nicole Miglis, Nilüfer Yanya, Oklou, Oliver Coates, Orcas, Or:la, Otha, Poe, Prins Thomas, Priori, Rafael Anton Irisarri, Ravyn Lenae, Raia Was, Real Lies, Remi Wolf, Richie Culver, Robert Owens, Rosa Anschüts, Rose Gray, Saya Gray, Selvagia, Silly Silly, Skeleten, Smerz, Spencer Zahn, St. Vincent, SUN ORGAN, Susanna, They Are Gutting a Body of Water, Tristan Arp, TSHA, Two Shell, Ty Dolla Sign, underscores, Verde Prato, Vitesse X, Waxahatchee, Wishy, Yan Wagner, Yasmin Williams, YHWH Nailgun, Zsela, 1-800 GIRLS

2023, 2022, 2021

[narcobarbies]

A YEAR IN REVIEW: CREATIONS OF 2023

Post your favorite and most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months).

Tagged by @maxxxines <3 thank you so much for taggging me!!

JANUARY

MOST POPULAR: india love via instagram stories (2,547 notes)

FAVORITE(S): victoria monét via instagram stories , ryan destiny as alex crane on star on fox 2.02 , beyoncé as lilly on the fighting temptations

FEBRUARY

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét via instagram (1,716 notes)

FAVORITE(S): ryan destiny via instagram , carlacia grant via instagram , joyce wrice's bittersweet goodbyes MV , keesha ward from general hospital , joyful joyful from sister act 2

MARCH

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét via instagram (2,901 notes)

FAVORITE(S): nikolas cassadine calling out everyone in port charles from GH , carlacia grant via instagram , tessa thompson for armani beauty

APRIL

MOST POPULAR: sydney sweeney via glencocoforhair's IG (1,152 notes)

FAVORITE(S): victoria monét via tiktok , sydney sweeney via glencocoforhair's IG , sofia wylie via tiktok

MAY

MOST POPULAR: taylor russell by kali kennedy (2,789 notes)

FAVORITE(S): victoria monét party girls MV , saweetie via instagram stories , tems met gala after party , carlacia grant via instagram

JUNE

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét and janelle monáe at the age pleasure LA listening party (06/10/2023) (2,283 notes)

FAVORITE(S): saweetie via instagram (06/26/2023) , saweetie via instagram , ryan destiny via instagram , victoria monét via instagram , carlacia grant as cleo for obx s4 promo , kiana ledé via instagram , sofia wylie via tiktok

JULY

MOST POPULAR: Earth, Wind & Fire sit down with Victoria Monét (1,682 notes)

FAVORITE(S): flo milli in want em hood MV , saweetie birthday mv , india love in flyest in the city mv , sydney sweeney via glencocoforhair's IG , carlacia grant during the ACQUA DI GIO and Gen A event by Giorgio Armani. (07/15/2023)

AUGUST

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét via instagram (1,651 notes)

FAVORITE(S): foxy brown in i'll be mv , mya whine mv , kiana ledé via instagram , saweetie shot o clock mv , saweetie via instagram

SEPTEMBER

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét via instagram for spotify’s RNBx (779 notes)

FAVORITE(S): FAITH EVANS | CAN’T BELIEVE FEAT. CARL THOMAS (2001) , NELLY FURTADO – 2023 MTV Video Music Awards , sofia wylie via tiktok , saweetie via basedkenken’s instagram , ryan destiny via instagram , victoria monét via instagram

OCTOBER

MOST POPULAR: victoria monét photographed by byjamiebruce (615 notes)

FAVORITE(S): kiana ledé via instagram , saweetie via instagram , savannah smith via tiktok , alina baraz in breathless mv , faith evans in never gonna let you go mv , saweetie via instagram , danna paola via instagram

NOVEMBER

MOST POPULAR: sydney sweeney for armani beauty (1,150 notes)

FAVORITE(S): VICTORIA MONÉT photographed by chanellington , cassie photographed by jorden keith , india love for true religion , sydney sweeney via glencocoforhair's IG , ryan destiny for off white

DECEMBER

MOST POPULAR: tems via instagram (2,333 notes)

FAVORITE(S): tabyana ali as trina robinson on GH , sydney sweeney 'anyone but you' NY premiere , victoria monét via instagram , chloe bailey via instagram , jhené aiko via instagram

tagging: @miss-lauryn-hill , @oneofdem , @itszonez , @blackerthings , @ivanpellicer , @agorahills , @saw-x , @keatinglayla , @zendadya , @possession

[kalicorrz]

NAVIGATION

kinda gave up on making an aesthetic one ...

ABOUT ::

KALI . 22 . MIXED : 🇮🇳/🇮🇹 .

amateur writer . multifandom . minors dni . dead dove . certified monster fucker . shokos valentine everyyy year!

CHECK OUT ::

DO'S AND DONT'S !!

UPCOMING ::

[ Bound ] arranged marriage . multichapter . Sherlock Holmes x reader .

[ Domestic ] mail order bride!reader . multichapter . John Price x reader .

MASTERLISTS ::

Call of Duty | Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, König, Alejandro, Keegan .

Jujutsu Kaisen | Gojo, Geto, Shoko, Yuki, Choso, Sukuna, Toji, Higuruma, Shiu, Nanami, Ino, Naoya, Mahito .

MISC char | Sherlock Holmes (Enola Holmes) , Thomas Shelby (Peaky Blinders) .

DC | Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake .

[santmat]

Finding Our Spiritual Oasis (Inner Peace, Rest, Tranquility) During This Life -

Escaping the Illusion and Turmoil of the World During This Kali Yuga Age -

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast - Sant Mat Satsang Podcasts -

A Satsang Without Walls

By developing a spiritual practice, on demand we are able to find respite from the madness of the world, this turbulent ocean of samsara, gaining our freedom from serving as pawns of a demiurgical, kalistic culture of conflict and agitated minds.

"What our modern world has suffered from most of all is runaway ideology, the agitated attachment to ideas that thereby become the playthings of infrahuman energies. This is the great danger of all ideologies, whether political, religious, or academic." (Jacob Needleman expressing some thoughts about the Gospel of Thomas)

"Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it." (Thomas Merton)

Finding Our Spiritual Oasis (Inner Peace, Rest, Tranquility) During This Life - Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast @ YouTube: 

https://youtu.be/MOCLDsozAfc

Finding Our Spiritual Oasis (Inner Peace, Rest, Tranquility) - Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast - Listen and/or Download @:

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@ the Podcast Website With Buttons That Go To All the Popular Podcast APPS - Wherever You Follow Podcasts:

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@ Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-our-spiritual-oasis-inner-peace-rest-tranquility/id1477577384?i=1000631057171

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https://open.spotify.com/episode/1HkVKNQsgq4CnfnfuFIrRv

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https://linktr.ee/SpiritualAwakeningRadio

The goal of this Sant Mat Satsang discourse is to shed more light on the meditation practices of the Sants which liberate the soul, provides a spiritual oasis for souls to be free from the agents of the negative power, ever-and-always agitating minds in this world, keeping them off-center so they never get around to going within, finding their true self and exploring the Divine Realms available inside during spiritual practice.

We must rise above during our meditations in order to ultimately return to the Ocean of Love and All-Consciousness known as God... above this bodily existence, above this material plane, above time or KAL, above mind, above maya or illusion and all these outer planes of creation. As it says in the Greek Gospel of Thomas "we enter into Rest." And as Rumi has written in his mystic poetry, To Him We Shall Return.

Meister Eckhart the German Mystic: "If the soul is to see God, then it must see no temporal thing, for as long as the soul is conscious of time or space, or of an idea, it cannot know God."

This discourse is also deliberately mindful of the lineage of Sant Mat Masters spanning many centuries, tracing this Path of the Masters back through time to Satguru Kabir.

References, Subjects, Sources and Segments Include: Rumi, Gospel of Thomas, The Empty Tomb of Satguru Kabir (The Story of Kabir's Body Turning Into Lotus Flowers), Plucking Flowers of Spirituality Within Your Body Through the Meditation Practice of the Sants, The Anurag Sagar (Ocean of Love) and Sant Dharam Das), the Prakash Mani Gita on Inner Sound Meditation, Sat Saheb and Sant Dariya Sahib of Bihar, Sant Tulsi Sahib of Hathras, Maharaj Girdhari Sahib of Lucknow, Swami Ji Maharaj of Agra (Sar Bachan Radhasoami Poetry), Sant Garib Das of the Radhaswami Satsang, Rohilla, Delhi (book of Anmol Vachan), Baba Jaimal Singh of Beas, Hazur Baba Sawan Singh, Baba Somanath, Sant Kirpal Singh, Sant Ji (The Light of Ajaib), and Baba Ram Singh's Satsang Discourse on Kabir and Sant Dharam Das - Anurag Sagar commentary: The Saints are Instructed by The Almighty to Fetch the Troubled Souls. "The Almighty has promised the souls who have left Him and into the world of Kal, that if they are in trouble, or if they remember Him, He shall come to fetch them." (Baba Ram Singh on the liberation of souls during this Kali Yuga age)

In Divine Love (Bhakti), Light, and Sound, At the Feet of the Masters, Radhasoami,

James Bean

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcasts

Sant Mat Satsang Podcasts

Sant Mat Radhasoami

A Satsang Without Walls

https://www.SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com

#innerpeace #peace #tranquility #relax #breathe #relaxation #rest #spiritualrest #relaxationresponse #gowithinorgowithout #spiritualpodcast #Podcast #SpiritualAwakening #SpiritualAwakeningRadio #Spiritual #Spirituality #GoWithin #Meditate #Meditation #SpiritualPractice #Radhaswami #Radhasoamiji #Radha_Soami #AnuragSagar #Radhasoami #Santmat #Sant_Mat #Satsang #SuratShabdYoga #PathoftheMasters

[romanceclub-polls]

Choose one of my favorite not canon* ships!

- Reinhold × Cyril (Heart of Trespia)

- Masamune × Takao (Legend of the willow)

- John × Thomas (Theodora)

- Ratan × Killian (Kali: call of darkness)

- Rob × Bert (Arcanum)

- Lima × Sana (Kali: call of darkness)

- Hodge × Leon (On thin ice)

- Cain × Dmitry (Heaven's secret: requiem)

- Kamal × Doran (Kali: flame of samsara)

- Amen × Seth (Song of the crimson Nile)

- I don't want to choose, I like more than one!

- I don't ship them

*first, this isn't about MCs and side characters who aren't LIs. Second, this isn't about MCs and side characters who aren't LIs but a player can get a final with them (for example, MC and Hotch in GC). Third, this isn't about characters who can be together if a player want them to be, but this is pretty obvious.

Note:

*first, this isn't about MCs and side characters who aren't LIs. Second, this isn't about MCs and side characters who aren't LIs but a player can get a final with them (for example, MC and Hotch in GC). Third, this isn't about characters who can be together if a player want them to be, but this is pretty obvious.

[bboyplankton]

2023 Playlist

2 Chainz & Lil Wayne – Long Story Short

38 Spesh – Crowned King

38 Spesh & Conway the Machine feat. Benny the Butcher – Speshal Machinery

38 Spesh & Conway the Machine feat. Pharohe Monch & Che Noir – We Outside

Adi Oasis – Serena

Adrian Dzvuke feat. Myx Quest – EGO

Ama Lou – Silence

Armani White feat. A$AP Ferg – Silver Tooth.

Austin Millz feat. Duckwrth – Familiar

Biako feat. Peyton – Holy Matrimony

BiC Fizzle – Loaded

BiC Fizzle – Where U From

BigXthaPlug - Mmhmm

BigXthaPlug – Rush Hour

BJ the Chicago Kid – Who Cares

BLK ODYSSY feat. Grace Sorensen – LET ME GO

BLK ODYSSY – ODEE

Boldy James & ChanHays – Trust Issues

Casper Sage – Flow State

Chase Shakur – x’s n o’s

Chiiild – Into The Deep End

Chris Brown – Feel Something

Chris Brown – Stutter

Ciara – Type A Party

Conway the Machine & Jae Skeese – The Chosen

Conway the Machine feat. Sauce Walka & Juicy J – Super Bowl

Curren$y & Trauma Tone – All Fucked Up

Curren$y & Trauma Tone feat. Maxo Kream – Cheat Code

Daniel Caesar – Do You Like Me?

Dave East – Letter to Kobi

Dave East – Like A Rose

Deanté Hitchcock feat. Big K.R.I.T. & Westside Boogie – Callin’

Dende – Nightmares

Destin Conrad feat. Masego – Super Paradise

Devon Gilfillian – The Recipe

DJ Drama feat. Jeezy – I Ain’t Gon Hold Ya

Doe Boy – Rhude Boy

Doja Cat – Agora Hills

Doja Cat – 97

Domo Genesis & The Alchemist feat. Tyler, the Creator – No Idols

Domo Genesis & The Alchemist feat. Freddie Gibbs – Till The Angels Come

Don Toliver – Leather Coat

Don Toliver feat. Kali Uchis – 4 Me

Ebony Riley – Draws

Elli Ingram – Heavy

Elmiene – Mad At Fire

Elmiene – Someday

Emotional Oranges – Lies You Tell

Fall Out Boy – What a Time To Be Alive

FNF Chop – Shooting

Forest Claudette – Two Years

Gucci Mane & B.G. – Idiots Worst Nightmare

Gucci Mane feat. Young Dolph – Pretty Girls

Hamzaa & 1srael – Borderline

IDK feat. Jucee Froot & Saucy Santana – Pinot Noir

Jack Harlow – They Don’t Love It

Jacob Latimore – Sorry

Jai’len Josey – Southern Delicacy

Jane Handcock – Layin Next to Me

Janelle Monáe – Water Slide

Jastin Martin – S.O.M.S. (Still Owe Me Something)

Jean Deaux – Dog

JMSN – Soft Spot

Jordan Ward feat. Lido – Pricetag/Beverlywood

Jorja Smith - Lately

Jozzy – Alone

Juicy J feat. La Chat – Deadbeat

Jungle – Back On 74

Justine Skye feat. Timbaland – Intruded

Kali Uchis feat. Don Toliver – Fantasy

K Camp – Spin the Block

Kenyon Dixon feat. Alex Isley – & Then Some

Kenyon Dixon – Lucky

Key Glock – Pop My Shit

Khamari – Doctor, My Eyes

Killer Mike feat. El-P & thankugoodsir – Don’t Let the Devil

Killer Mike feat. Curren$y, 2 Chainz, & Kaash Paige – Spaceship Views

KXNG CROOKED & Joell Ortiz – No More

Kyra – Sweet Mahogany

Larry June & The Alchemist feat. Slum Village – Orange Village

Larry June & Cardo feat. ScHoolboy Q – Pop Out

Leonard Charles feat. Reality Jonez – Get Out

Leon Thomas – Breaking Point

Lloyd Banks – Onyx AMG

Lloyd Banks feat. Method Man – 101 Razors

Logic feat. Norah Jones – Paradise II

Mac Demarco – Chicago

Machel Montano – Night Shift

Machel Montano feat. Destra – Shake the Place

Maeta feat. Ambré – Control Freak

Mahalia – Isn’t It Strange?

Mahalia – Plastic Plants

Marc E. Bassy – Change My Ways

Mannywellz – Be Alright

Masego – In Style

Masego – Remembering Sundays

Moneybagg Yo – Ocean Spray

Nas – Slow It Down

Nelccia – Options

Noah Guy feat. Amaria – Stay Here

Nonso Amadi – Foreigner

Omarion – Alkaline Drip

Paramore – Running Out of Time

Phabo – Casamigos

PinkPanthress – The Aisle

Preemo Rice – DEEP in my bag

Queen Naija – Soul Tied

RAAHiiM – Friend Zone

RAAHiiM – Lonely

RAAHiiM – Outside Freestyle

Reason – Gang Shit!

Rican Da Menace feat. Moneybagg Yo – Dumb

Rory feat. DRAM & Alex Isley – I Want You But You’ll Never Know…

Roy Woods – Don’t Mind Me

rum.gold – AM/FM

Sabrina Carpenter – Read Your Mind

Sabrina Claudio – Tastes So Good

Saint Harison feat. Tiana Major9 – homies

Saleka – Fantasy

Saleka – Séance

Sam Smith – No God

Sampha – Inclination Compass (Tenderness)

Sampha – Only

Sebastian Mikael feat. Flwr Chyld – It’s You

Selah Sue – When It All Falls Down

Shy Glizzy feat. 21 Savage – Slime-U-Out

Sy Ari Da Kid & Paxquiao – No Rules (Slut Me Out)

Tay Iwar feat. Knucks – Juice

Terrace Martin & Alex Isley – 2 Step in the Living Room

THEY. – Blu Moon

TOBi – Move

Tone Stith – Girls Like You

Tone Stith – Whoa

Travis Scott – I Know?

Travis Scott feat. James Blake & 21 Savage – Till Further Notice

Vedo – Consistency

Vedo – Deep (Hold You)

Vedo – You and Me

Victoria Monet – Smoke (Reprise)

Wale the Sage – Bleue

Wiz Khalifa – Tail Money

Yung Bleu – Can’t Help Who You Love

[bonitamusic]

Tracklist : 

Explore - Yuver

Atri - iaintneverhadnobody w/ Ya auntie"s fave

Audrey Nuna - Baby blues

SZA - Low

Retrobands - Shhh

KOS - Sum1 new

KOS - Thank god

Edàja - Trust issues Ft. Nolais, JayDottCee, ForestxFire

Sango - Jay Dee Jackson - Purple sleep

Aaliyah - Rock the boat (Danetic Climax edit)

Coco Jones & Leon Thomas - Until the end of time

Sandrahhh - No explanation

Maeta - S(ex)

Julian Avila - Shawty

Shamba - Bill$

Ojerime - Nothing

Blaccmass - Met gala shirt (SZA x Gunna)

Kristina Alcordo - Switch

Jozzy - Nasty interlude

Jozzy - Don't say no

Jozzy - Favorite shirt

Theo Croker & Ego Ella May - Good day

Zenesoul - Love Island

Hannah Abdul - eyesclosed

Yazmin Lacey - From a lover

Kali Uchis - Love betweenEdàja  - No Rush

Edàja - Not ready

Duncan Gerow - SWV + Ako = Anything

Zephyr Avalon - Reaching Ft. Olive Jane, Ruslan Sirota, Erick Walls, Efajemue, Balam Garcia

[jupiter-reimagined]

I'm listening to "Yours" by Thomas Sanders and while it can definitely fit canon Stone x Kali, it fits Kali x Butcher in the ranch AU from before their first kiss when Kali was still healing and Butcher was being his guide.

Or at least Kali thinks it fits and won't stop projecting images of him pining after Butcher throughout that entire time before their kiss.

oh god it *does* fit both those ships;;; so hard;;; rip kali trough and trough. why does he always end up like that in relationships;;; hopelessly pining

[ignitedfms]

+ 01 WANTED CONNECTION ADDED

JAGGER KAKEGAMI CHEONG-LEEN (our D’PAHROAH WOON A TAI) is looking for their UNDERGROUND FIGHTING FACTION ( FIVE ). They’re an ANY HUMAN OR CYBORG OR ANDROID, who look like ANY INDIGENOUS FC, SOMEONE LIKE MORGAN HOLMSTROM, ALAQUA COX, SHERRY-LEE WATSON, BRAEDEN CLARKE, ANNA LAMBE, KALI REIS, QUANNAH CHASINGHORSE, AMBER MIDTHUNDER, THOMAS WEATHERALL, KHADIJHA RED THUNDER, KRISTIN CHIRICO, MADELEINE MADDEN, ZAHN MCCLARNON, KAWENNÁHERE DEVERY JACOBS, TAIKA WAITITI, JOSHUA ODJICK, ETC. You DO NOT need to approach the player. 

Calling All Wrestling Fans: Do faction names like THE HART FOUNDATION, DEGENERATION X, NWO, THE CORPORATION, THE JUDGEMENT DAY, or THE BLOODLINE get your heart racing? If so, this might be the perfect connection for you. Jagger, aka "The Dagger," is a high-flying, high-energy underground fighter who knows there’s strength in numbers! He’s just joined a new brood of fighters (currently brainstorming a cool name for the faction—leaning toward "Shatterlaws," in homage to Shatterstar but we can work it out! ). The best part? This faction is made up entirely of indigenous fighters, bringing a whole new dynamic to the underground scene! I’m thinking we need a tag-team, a heavy weight, and someone to represent the women’s division! Since Jagger is still unaffiliated, I think it would be interesting if these muses had an important role in The Skeleton Crew, The Grey Lilies or even The Isles!

[djburntheoil]

Ricky Mears, better known as Nitti Gritti, is a Miami based record producer, DJ and vocalist.[1][2][3] His collaboration with Party Favor as Sidepiece, a music duo group,[4] was nominated for a Grammy in 2021 under Best Dance Recording segment for their 2019 single "On My Mind" featuring Diplo.[5][6] Nitti Gritti is known for collaborating and working with Enrique Iglesias,[7] Pitbull,[8] DJ Snake,[9][10] Shaquille O'Neal,[11] Tiesto, Diplo, Ookay,[12] Jimmy Levy,[13] Shndō[14] etc. In 2019, Nitti Gritti's single "200 MPH" with Diplo won a Latin Grammy, which was on Bad Bunny's album X 100.

Thomas Wesley Pentz (born November 10, 1978),[2] known professionally as Diplo, is an American DJ and music producer. He is the co-creator and lead member of the electronic dancehall music project Major Lazer, a member of the supergroup LSD with Sia and Labrinth, a member of electronic duo Jack Ü with producer and DJ Skrillex, and a member of Silk City with Mark Ronson. He founded and manages record company Mad Decent, as well as co-founding the non-profit organization Heaps Decent. His 2013 EP, Revolution, debuted at number 68 on the US Billboard 200. The EP's title track was later featured in a commercial for Hyundai and is featured on the WWE 2K16 soundtrack.

Diplo worked with and dated British musician M.I.A., an artist who is credited with giving him exposure in his early career. Later, he, M.I.A., and fellow producer Switch created a Jamaican dancehall project and cartoon series titled Major Lazer.[3] Since then, Diplo has worked on production and mixtape projects with many other pop artists, such as Gwen Stefani, Die Antwoord, Britney Spears, Madonna, Shakira, Beyoncé, Ellie Goulding, No Doubt, Justin Bieber, Usher, Snoop Dogg, Trippie Redd, Chris Brown, CL, G-Dragon, Bad Bunny, Kali Uchis, Joji, MØ and Poppy.[4][5][6][7][8][9] His alias, short for Diplodocus, derives from his childhood fascination with dinosaurs.[10]

[drrameyfanpage]

Run Away

Author’s Note:This is set about half a year in the future. Luz runs away and Thomas is forced to confront his relationship with his daughter and his feeling for Kali.

Word Count: 2805

Warning: None

Pairing: Thomas Mendez x MC (Kali Day)

Thomas Mendez had, had the perfect life. He had married his college sweetheart, got a position at a well-respected law firm, had a beautiful daughter, and made more money than he could have hoped. Then the accident happened. Soledad had been driving back from dropping Luz off at school when the police say she ran through a red light and got T-boned. They viewed the accident as an easy open closed case.

That’s when Thomas’s perfect life started to unravel. No one would listen to him as he tried to prove it had been faulty breaks in the car. These last two years he’s spent most of his free time gathering information and proof to prove his case.

He was starting to realize he had turned his hurt into obsession and was freezing everyone out. Most importantly he was freezing out Luz.

The words she had said in anger and the tears that had streamed down her face earlier tonight night clouded his thoughts.

“You promised!” She stomped her foot as he shut the front door.

“I’m sorry Luz. I got held up at work. I’ll be there next time.”

“You always say that.” Her tone was harsh. “That means nothing to me anymore.”

“I’m trying my best. It’s not easy.” He shot back.

She shook her head in disappointment. “Zoey’s mom is a single parent and takes the bus! Kali makes it work. She was at the game.”

“Well I’m not Kali!” Thomas yelled.

Luz took a step back. “Obviously or you might actually care about me.” She ran up the stairs before he could respond. Tears streamed down her face.

Thomas slummed against the closed front door when he heard her bedroom door slam.

That had been over an hour ago, only twenty minutes ago had finally he dragged himself down the hall to his home office. He poured himself another glass of the whiskey he kept on hand for business associates. Drinking wasn’t something he did often let alone drinking more than one glass.

It didn’t stop the thoughts he wished to keep at bay. Kali. That was also a mess and he saw no way to fix it.

Two months ago

“So, this is the fanciest teacher/parent night I’ve ever been too.” Kali sipped her drink while her eyes scanned around the room.

He didn’t answer right away. His own eyes scanned over her. He couldn’t keep them off of her. The midnight blue dress looked stunning on her and his body was reacting. “Yes,” He said after a moment. “They’re always like this. More of a social event for parents than talking about the kids.”

Thomas stuck to her side most of the night glaring at any man who looked too long at her. She passed him her drink towards the end of the night and wondered out into the hall for the bathroom. A moment later he couldn’t stop himself, he followed after.

He leaned against the wall across from the bathroom and she looked surprised to see him when she existed. She raised an eyebrow at him and he pushed away from the wall. Kali slipped her hand into his outstretched one and he pulled her towards him. He spun them as she collided with his chest and pushed her against where he had just been leaning.

“Thomas.” She whispered. The heels she wore made her lips even with his chin.

He shivered and his body ached with a need he had never felt before. As he dipped his head to kiss her, the thought that he wanted her more than he ever wanted Soledad crossed his mind and jerked away from her. How could he want someone more than he had wanted his wife?

Thomas glanced up at her, confusion covered her face. “I can’t. We can’t” He stumbled. He didn’t know what hurt more saying those words or the hurt look she gave him.

She straightened and swallowed before nodding and walking away from him.

That evening burned in his memory. The feeling of her body against his. Everything about her intoxicated him. He wanted her and that hadn’t changed. They had barely spoken since then. At first, he avoided her and then would only talk to her about Luz. He tried to convince himself it was for the best. It didn’t feel that way though.

Then there had been that moment three weeks ago. Luz had gotten in the car talking about Levi the guitar player, Thomas had met him once dropping Kali and Zoey off. At first, he listened with interested until she revealed he had asked Kali out to dinner and she had agreed to go. He didn’t know what it felt like to be stabbed but he imagine it was what he felt that day.

He picked up his second glass of whiskey and slumped on to the small couch. He would need to talk Luz but it was better they both calmed down first. Yes, he decided, first he would fix things with his daughter and then he would start to rebuild at least a friendship with Kali.

               Thomas blinked rapidly. It was not that dark out when he sat down. He tapped his phone that lay on the table. It was about dead and almost 1:00 am. His talk with Luz would have to wait until morning. He grabbed his empty glass and dropped it off in the kitchen before heading upstairs.

He glanced down the hall towards her door once he reached the upstairs landing. She had probably locked him out but something told him to check. He turned the knob and her door clicked open. Surprised he pushed the door open gently. There was a lump in the middle of the bed, clearly, she curled up in a ball before falling asleep. He walked over to her side and reached his hand out to stroke the top of her head.

Pillow. There was a pillow against his hand. Surely not. He gulped and pulled back the blanket. It was all pillows.

“Damn it.” He cursed and glanced around her room. He noticed her backpack that she had carried up with her was gone. He searched the house quickly to make sure he wasn’t overacting.

Thomas grabbed his keys from by the front door and stumbled out towards his car. There were no new messages on his phone. He racked his brain for where could have gone. She had to have gone to Kali’s. He pushed call on her number and his phone died.

He didn’t bother parking in a space before he got out and ran for the apartment building. The elevator was too slow, so he took the stairs two by two. Not thinking about the time, he pounded on the door.

“Dude, it’s 1:30 in the morning. What the hell are you doing.” Levi stood the doorway to his own apartment glaring at Thomas.

“Fuck off.” Thomas said not stopping his knocking.

“No, I think you need to fuck off. You’ve done enough damage.” Levi stepped closed grabbing Thomas’s pounding hand.

Thomas yanked his hand free and shoved Levi back. “You don’t know a damn thing.”

“What’s going on?” A sleepy but surprised Kali asked opening her door.

“I’m trying to take the trash out for you.” Levi advanced toward Thomas again.

“You’re really going to fight a lawyer.” Thomas snarled.

“Your money and job don’t faze me.”

Kali stepped between the two. Her hand went to Thomas’s chest and he balled a fist. “I can handle myself.” She said to Levi. Her glare stopping him in his tracks.

“You’re going to defend his sorry ass. I don’t know what he did to upset you, but he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“I don’t have time for this.” Thomas stepped around Kali into her apartment.

She gave Levi one last looked before following after the man who had broke her heart. “What’s going on?” She demanded in a harsh tone once the door was shut.

“Tell me Luz is here.”

She looked at him confused. “No, she’s not.”

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and doubled over.

Kali came over to him resting her hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on, Thomas?” She asked becoming worried.

“Luz is missing. We had a fight and she stormed off to her room. I fell asleep and when I checked on her.” He trailed off pain lacing his voice. “Jesus, what if something’s happened to her?” He wiped angerly at his eyes.

“Stay.” She pointed before disappearing back out the door. A moment later she returned with annoyed Levi. “I need you to watch Zoey. There’s something we need to do.”

“I’m not watching your kid so you can hookup.”

“We’re not hooking up. This is incredibly important.” She pulled her sneakers on before grabbing Thomas’s arm.

“Can you trust him to stay?” Thomas asked as they headed down the hall.

“Yes. Now where else do you think she could be?” She glanced over at him.

He looked a mess and she couldn’t blame him, she would be too. He shook his head trying to think. “I’m not sure. After all the fighting last year, she hasn’t had any close friends besides Zoey.”

“Keys.” She demanded holding her hand out.

“I know the city better than you.”

“That may be the case but I’m also more level headed at the moment.” He gave her his keys and for the first time ever slid into his own passenger seat. She had to adjust the seat because of his height but soon they were on the road.

They drove past parks, the school, and the local library. “What if somethings happened to her?” He asked getting chocked up. “There are people out there who would hurt her to get to me.”

“We’re going to find her. Look there’s one more place I would check and if she’s not there than we call the police for help.”

“Where’s that?”

“This is going to be a weird question but is your wife buried?”

“Surely you don’t think she’s gone to the cemetery!”

“Address?”

Soon enough they were pulling into a large cemetery. Kali stopped the car at the entrance and cut it off. “We should walk from here.”

Thomas looked at her confused as she got out of the car. She was still in her pajamas and hadn’t bothered with a jacket. He pulled his raincoat from the backseat and handed it to her. “If we’re walking you need a coat.”

She looked over at him in just his dress shirt but didn’t comment. “The car might scare her. She might not realize it’s you.”

“You sound optimistic she’s here.” He wasn’t sold that Luz had managed to get herself across town to the cemetery. They didn’t come here often as it was.

“It’s where I would run to when my dad and I would fight.” She walking off in one direction.

Thomas stared after her. The more he learned about her the more he couldn’t deny his need to know her.

They caught sight of a small figure sitting on the ground by one stone. Thomas took off at a full run towards his daughter.

Luz looked up at the noise, she frowned as her dad got closer. “I didn’t think you would find me here.” She looked down at her lap. He got on his knees the cold wet grass seeping through his pants and he wondered how long she had been sitting in it.

“I’ve looked everywhere for you.” He grasped her face. “I’ve been terrified.”

“Have you?” She asked meeting his eyes.

“Of course. How could I not be?”

She shrugged. “Your life would be easier without me around.”

“Don’t ever say that again. My life would be nothing without you.” He pulled her to him for hug and she buried her face in his neck. They pulled a part a moment later. “What are you even doing here?”

“I had to talk to mom.” Luz looked down again. “I want a mom.” She started to cry. “I came to tell mom that she’ll always be my mom and I love her, but I want a mom. I know she can’t come back, but I thought-“ She stopped to talking.

“You thought what?” He asked softly.

“I thought maybe Kali was going to be my mom and Zoey would become my sister. She needs a dad like I need a mom. But, but than you stopped talking to each other.” The tears wouldn’t stop. “Why can’t we be happy dad?”

Thomas briefly wondered where Kali was. Could she hear his daughter? His daughter was right though, why couldn’t they be happy? He wanted to be happy and damn if he didn’t want that with Kali and Zoey. He glanced at the tombstone. The wind picked up making them both shiver and then it was gone. Thomas stood and then picked Luz and her backpack up off the ground.

Turning he found Kali standing a few feet away, her hands buried deep in his jacket’s pockets. Her face was unreadable but soft looking. He walked towards her.

“Kali you’re here!” Luz said just noticing her.

Kali smiled and ruffled the girl’s hair, but said nothing. Thomas settled his free hand on her lower back and guided them back towards the car.

He was grateful when she slid back into the driver’s seat. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and he still had to drive home off dropping her off.

Fifteen minutes later, she pulled into a parking space in front of her building. Thomas knew he should say something but he fumbled with what. Kali turned the car off, grabbed his dead phone from a cup holder and got out of the car. Confused, he followed.

“Come on.” She said. “I’m not letting you drive home.”

He nodded before grabbing a sleeping Luz and her backpack from the car. They didn’t say anything as they made their way towards her apartment. This could mean nothing. She could make him sleep on the couch. Which is what he was expecting.

Levi looked up from his phone from where he sat at the kitchen table as they entered. He rolled his eyes as he looked at Thomas. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Thank you for staying with Zoey.” Kali stepped closer to the table.

Levi stood. “She didn’t even stir.” He grinned.

“Still, I owe you.”

Levi looked between Kali and Thomas. “You’re sending me home now, but he gets to stay.”

“Levi, please.”

“No, the guy’s an ass. He drops you out of his life and then can waltz back in when he needs something?”

“Levi!” She hissed.

“I don’t know how I ever thought I could compete with him.” He brushed past Kali and stopped to glare at Thomas before leaving.

She turned not quite meeting Thomas’s gaze. “I’ll find a pair of Zoey’s pajamas for Luz.”

He managed to get his daughter changed as she sleepily resisted before carrying her into Zoey’s room. Kali already stood at the foot of her sleeping daughter’s bed.

“Are you mad?” Luz whispered as he laid her down in the full-size bed.

“No.” Thomas answered brushing hair off her forehead.

“I love you dad.”

“I love you too. Get some sleep.”

She turned away from him and shifted closer to Zoey. “I love you Kali.” Luz whispered.

Kali touched the girl’s foot. “Love you too, kid.”

Thomas shut the door behind them. Kali turned to face him and he couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out for her. One arm slipped around her waist and the other cupped her cheek. Kissing her was better than he imagined. Her hands balled his shirt.

When they broke apart, she stopped back and away from him. His heart pounded in his chest. What if he had missed his chance?

She held her hand out to him and he took it. Her room was small but the warm glow from the bedside table lamp made it feel cozy. She dropped his hand and plugged her phone in. “Yours is charging in the kitchen.”

She must have done that while he had gotten Luz changed. Her shoes and his jacket were already gone. Kali got into bed and looked at him slyly. Thomas slipped out of his shoes and pulled his shirt off before dropping it on to the floor along with his wallet and belt.

Her eyes scanned over his bare chest as climbed in beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him. She cupped his face as they stared into each other eyes.

“We’re a mess.” She whispered.

“We are.” He rolled her on to her back and hovered over her. “But I wouldn’t want to be a mess with anyone else.”

[kingsbridgelibraryteens]

Looking for YA fiction with strong female characters to get in the mood for Women’s History Month? Check out our STRONGER THAN SHE LOOKS display, featuring:

Flawed by Cecelia Ahern

Faith: Taking Flight by Julie Murphy

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas

My Calamity Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows

I Am Princess X By Cherie Priest with illustrations by Kali Ciesemier

[snailg0th]

here’s my giant leftist to-read list for the next few years!!!

if a little (done!) it written next to the book, it means i’ve finished it! i’m gonna try to update this as i read but no promises on remembering haha

Economics/Politics

Property by Karl Marx

Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx (done!)

Wages, Price, and Profit by Karl Marx (done!)

Wage-Labor and Capital by Karl Marx (done!)

Capital Volume I by Karl Marx

The 1844 Manuscripts by Karl Marx

Socialism: Utopian and Scientific by Fredrich Engles

Synopsis of Capital by Fredrich Engels

The Principles of Communism by Fredrich Engles

Imperialism, The Highest Stage Of Capitalism by Vladmir Lenin

The State And Revolution by Vladmir Lenin

The Revolution Betrayed by Leon Trotsky

Fascism: What is it and How to Fight it by Leon Trotsky

In Defense Of Marxism by Leon Trotsky

The Accumulation of Capital by Rosa Luxemborg

Reform or Revolution by Rosa Luxemburg

Discipline and Punish by Michel Foucault

The Conquest of Bread by Peter Kropotkin

On Anarchism by Noam Chomsky

Profit over People by Noam Chomsky

An Introduction to Marxist Economic Theory by Ernest Mandel

The Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith

The Postmodern Condition by Jean François Lyotard

Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher

The Socialist Reconstruction of Society by Daniel De Leon

Anarchism and Other Essays by Emma Goldman

Socialism Made Easy by James Connolly

Race

Biased: Uncover in the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do

Blindspot by Mahzarin R. Banaji

Racism Without Racists: Color-blind Racism And The Persistence Of Racial Inequality In America by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva

How To Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy And The Racial Divide by Crystal M. Flemming

This Book is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons on How To Wake Up, Take Action, And Do The Work by Tiffany Jewell & Aurelia Durand

The Next American Revolution: Sustainable Activism For The Twenty-First Century by Grace Lee Boggs

Tell Me Who You Are by Winona Guo & Priya Vulchi

The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks About Race by Jesymn Ward

Class, Race, and Marxism by David R. Roediger

America for Americans: A History Of Xenophobia In The United States by Erica Lee

The Politics Of The Veil by Joan Wallach Scott

A Different Mirror A History Of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki

A People’s History Of The United States by Howard Zinn

Black Theory

The Wretched Of The World by Frantz Fanon

Black Marxism by Cedric J Robinson

Malcolm X Speaks by Malcolm X

Women, Culture, and Politics by Angela Davis

Women, Race, & Class by Angela Davis (done!)

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis (done!)

The Meaning of Freedom by Angela Davis

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Ain’t I A Woman? by Bell Hooks

Yearning by Bell Hooks

Dora Santana’s Works

An End To The Neglect Of The Problems Of The Negro Women by Claudia Jones

I Am Your Sister by Audre Lorde

Women’s Liberation And The African Freedom Struggle by Thomas Sankara

W.E.B. DuBois Essay Collection

Black Reconstruction by W.E.B. DuBois

Lynch Law by Ida B. Wells

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

Sula by Toni Morrison

Song Of Solomon by Toni Morrison

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Paradise by Toni Morrison

A Mercy by Toni Morrison

This Bridge Called My Back by Cherríe Moraga

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander

Black Feminist Thought by Patricia Hill Collins

Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Dr. Brittney Cooper

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Black Skins, White Masks and The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon

Killing of the Black Body

Revolutionary Suicide by Huey P Newton

Settlers; The myth of the White Proletariat

Fearing The Black Body; The Racial Origins of Fatphobia

Freedom Dreams; The Black Radical Imagination

How Capitalism Underdeveloped Black America

How Europe Underdeveloped Africa

An Argument For Black Women’s Liberation As a Revolutionary Force by Mary Anne Weathers

Voices of Feminism Oral History Project by Frances Beal

Ghosts In The Schoolyard: Racism And School Closings On Chicago’s South Side by Eve L. Ewing

Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon To White America by Michael Eric Dyson

Why We Can’t Wait by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Fatal Invention: How Science, Politics, Big Business, Re-create Race In The 21st Century by Dorothy Roberts

We Gon’ Be Alright: Notes on Race & Resegregation by Jeff Chang

They Can’t Kill Us All: Ferguson, Baltimore, and a New Era In America’s Racial Justice Movement by Wesley Lowery

The Common Wind by Julius S. Scott

Black Is The Body: Stories From My Grandmother’s Time, My Mother’s Time, And Mine by Emily Bernard

We Were Eight Years In Power: An American Tragedy by Ta-Nehisi Coates

American Lynching by Ashraf H. A. Rushdy

Raising Our Hands by Jenna Arnold

Redefining Realness by Janet Mock

When Affirmative Action Was White: An Untold History of Racial Inequality in Twentieth-Century America by Ira Katznelson

Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affects Us and What We Can Do

Citizen: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine

Left of Karl Marx: The Political Life Of Black Communist Claudia Jones by Carole Boyce Davies

Black Studies Manifesto by Darlene Clark

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

The Souls Of Black Folk by W.E.B. Du Bois

Darkwater by W.E.B. Du Bois

The Education Of Blacks In The South, 1860-1935 by James D. Anderson

The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery And The Making Of American Capitalism by Edward E. Baptist

The Color Of Money: Black Banks And The Racial Wealth Gap by Mehrsa Baradaran

A Black Women’s History Of The United States by Daina Ramey Berry & Kali Nicole Gross

The Price For Their Pound Of Flesh: The Value Of The Enslaved, From Womb to Grave, In The Building Of A Nation by Daina Ramey Berry

North Of Slavery: The Negro In The Free States, 1780-1869 by Leon F. Litwack

Black Stats: African Americans By The Numbers In The Twenty-First Century by Monique M. Morris

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools by Monique M. Morris

40 Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, And Redemption of The Black Athlete by William C. Rhoden

From #BlackLivesMatter To Black Liberation by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

A More Beautiful And Terrible History: The Uses And Misuses Of Civil Rights History by Jeanne Theoharis

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History Of Medical Experimentation On Black Americans From Colonial Times To The Present by Harriet A. Washington

Working At The Intersections: A Black Feminist Disability Framework” by Moya Bailey

Theory by Dionne Brand

Black Women, Writing, And Identity by Carole Boyce Davies

Slavery By Another Name: The Re-enslavement Of Black Americans From The Civil War To World War II by Douglass A. Blackmon

Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Some Of Us Are Very Hungry Now by Andre Perry

The Origins Of The Urban Crisis: Race and Inequality In Postwar Detroit by Thomas Surgue

They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib

Beyond Containment: Autobiographical Reflections, Essays and Poems by Claudia Jones

The Black Woman: An Anthology by Toni McCade

Double Jeopardy: To Be Black and Female by Frances Beal

How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor

Indigenous Theory

Colonize This! by Daisy Hernandez and Bushra Rehman

As We Have Always Done

Braiding Sweetgrass

Spaces Between Us

The Sacred Hoop by Paula Gunn Allen

Native: Identity, Belonging, And Rediscovering God by Kaitlin Curtice

An Indigenous People’s History Of The United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

Why Indigenous Literatures Matter by Daniel Heath Justice

Highway of Tears: A True Story of Racism, Indifference, And The Pursuit Of Justice For Missing And Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls by Jessica McDiarmid

The Other Slavery by Andrés Reséndez

Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga

All Our Relations: Indigenous Trauma In The Shadow Of Colonialism by Tanya Talaga

All Our Relations: Finding The Path Forward by Tanya Talaga

Everything You Wanted To Know About Indians But Were Afraid To Ask by Anton Treuer

Rez Life: An Indian’s Journey Through Reservation Life by David Treuer

Latine Theory

Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldúa

Open Veins of Latin America: Five Centuries of Pillage of A Continent by Eduardo Galeano

Inventing Latinos: A New Story of American Racism by Laura E. Gomez

De Colores Means All Of Us by Elizabeth Martinez

Middle Eastern And Muslim Theory

How Does It Feel To Be A Problem? Being Young And Arab In America by Moustafa Bayoumi

We Too Sing America: South Asian, Arab, Muslim, and Sikh Immigrants Shape Our Multiracial Future by Deepa Iyer

Alligator and Other Stories by Dima Alzayat

API Theory

Orientalism by Edward Said

The Making Of Asian America by Erika Lee

On Gold Mountain by Lisa See

Strangers From A Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans by Ronald Takaki

They Called Us Enemy (Graphic Novel) by George Takei

Yellow Peril!: An Archive of Anti-Asian Fear by Edited by John Kuo Wei Tchen and Dylan Yeats

Yellow: Race In America Beyond Black And White by Frank H. Wu

Alien Nation: Chinese Migration In The Americas From The Coolie Era Through World War II by Elliott Young

The Good Immigrants: How The Yellow Peril Became The Model Minorities by Madeline H. Ysu

Asian American Dreams: The Emergence Of An American People by Helen Zia

The Myth Of The Model Minority: Asian Americans Facing Racism by Rosalind S. Chou & Joe R. Feagin

Two Faces Of Exclusion: The Untold Story Of Anti-Asian Racism In The United States by Lon Kurashige

Whiteness

White Fragility by Robin Di Angelo (done!)

White Kids: Growing Up With Privilege In A Racially Divided America by Margaret A. Hagerman

Waking Up White by Deby Irving

The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter

White Like Me: Reflections On Race From A Privileged Son by Tim Wise

White Rage by Carol Anderson

What Does It Mean To Be White: Developing White Racial Literacy by Robin DiAngelo

The Invention of The White Race: Volume 1: Racial Oppression and Social Control by Theodore W. Allen

The Invention of The White Race: Volume 2: The Origin of Racial Oppression in Anglo-America by Theodore W. Allen

Immigration

Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftir

Create Dangerously: The Immigrant Artist At Work by Edwidge Danticat

My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero

The Devil’s Highway: A True Story by Luis Alberto Urrea

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Enrique’s Journey by Sonia Nazario

Tell Me How It Ends: An Essay In Forty Questions by Valeria Luiselli

Voter Suppression

One Person, No Vote: How Voter Suppression Is Destroying Our Democracy by Carol Anderson

Give Us The Vote: The Modern Struggle For Voting Rights In America by Ari Berman

Prison Abolition And Police Violence

Abolition Democracy by Angela Davis

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis

The Prison Industrial Complex by Angela Davis

Political Prisoners, Prisons, And Black Liberation by Angela Davis

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson (done!)

The End Of Policing by Alex S Vitale

Invisible No More: Police Violence Against Black Women and Women of Color by Andrea J. Ritchie

Choke Hold: Policing Black Men by Paul Butler

From The War On Poverty To The War On Crime: The Making Of Mass Incarceration In America by Elizabeth Hinton

Feminist Theory

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

A Vindication of the Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft

Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay

7 Feminist And Gender Theories

Race, Gender, And Class by Margaret L. Anderson

African Gender Studies by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

The Invention Of Women by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

What Gender Is Motherhood? by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí

Feminism Without Borders: Decolonizing Theory, Practicing Solidarity by Chandra Talpade Mohanty

I Am Malala by Malala Youssef

LGBT Theory

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler

Performative Acts and Gender Constitution by Judith Butler

Imitation and Gender Insubordination by Judith Butler

Bodies That Matter by Judith Butler

Excitable Speech by Judith Butler

Undoing Gender by Judith Butler

The Roots Of Lesbian And Gay Opression: A Marxist View by Bob McCubbin

Compulsory Heterosexuality And Lesbian Existence by Adrienne Rich

Decolonizing Trans/Gender 101 by B. Binohan

Gay.Inc: The Nonprofitization of Queer Politics by Merl Beam

Pronouns Good or Bad: Attitudes and Relationships with Gendered Pronouns

Transgender Warriors

Whipping Girl; A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity

Stone Butch Blues by Lesie Feinberg (done!)

The Stonewall Reader by Edmund White

Sissy by Jacob Tobia

Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein

Butch Queens Up In Pumps by Marlon M. Bailey

Black On Both Sides: A Racial History Of Trans Identities by C Riley Snorton

Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin

Ezili’s Mirrors: Imagining Black Queer Genders by Omise’eke Natasha Tinsley

Lavender and Red by Emily K. Hobson

[crewhonk]

Only Happy Accidents (COMPLETE)

Summary: Steve Rogers has always wanted that white-picket life. A home. A dog. A kid. A wife. He never expected it to happen like this, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? (TAKES PLACE AFTER ENDGAME, STEVE STAYS)

AN: *em starts planning another wip* *ems four wips waiting* “EM NO” *em looks at her wipsmanically* “EM YES”

Pairings: F!Reader x Steve Rogers

Warnings: Porn leading to plot, unintentional pregnancy, friends to lovers, angst, pregnancy, I failed to mark the proper weeks and dates I got a c+ in statistics lets pretend it lines up, traumatic birth

‘*’ EQUALS SMUT

One*

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven*

Eight

Nine

Ten*

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Epilogue*

Playlist: Songs: “I’m Just A Girl”- No Doubt / “Woman”- Wolfmother / “My Neck” July Talk (anything by July talk) / “Wait By The River”- Lord Huron / “The Archer” Taylor Swift / “Life is Short”- Butterfly Boucher / “The Big Day”- Chance the Rapper / “Winter Song”- Sara Bareilles / “You Matter To Me”- Sara Bareilles, Jason Mraz / Songs: “What’s Inside”- Sara Bareilles / “Out of the Woods”- Taylor Swift / “My, My, My”- Troye Sivan / “June”— Florence and the Machine / “The End Of Love”— Florence and the Machine / “Fifteen”— Taylor Swift / “Flight 22” Kali Uchis / “Love Story”— Taylor Swift / “Norman Fucking Rockwell”— Lana Del Rey / “I Need a Woman To Love”— Kesha / “Uneven Odds”— Sleeping at Last / “Into the Fire”— Thirteen Suns / “In My Veins”— Andrew Belle / “You Matter To Me— Sara Barielles ft. Jason Mraz / “Turn to Stone”— Ingrid Michaelson / “Keep Breathing”— Ingrid Michaelson / “Little Wonders”— Rob Thomas / “Lover”— Taylor Swift / “Kiss - recorded at Spotify Studios NYC”— Kelly Clarkson / “Suit & Tie”— Justin Timberlake, JAY-Z / “Say You Love Me”— Jessie Ware / “The Middle”— Mree / “The Funeral”— Band of Horses / “Pretty Things”— Big Thief / “Toronto”— Tusks / “Rescue”— Lauren Daigle / “Love Like This”— Lauren Daigle

[beansonbread2]

BEANSONBREAD AWARDS 2020 - BEST ALBUM

AWARD NO.2 - BEST ALBUM OF 2020

PAST WINNERS

2019 > Self Esteem - ‘Compliments Please’ (see full list HERE)

2018 > Kero Kero Bonito - ‘Time ‘n’ Place’ (see full list HERE)

2017 > Richard Dawson - ‘Peasant’ (see full list HERE)

2016 > Blood Orange - ‘Freetown Sound’ (see full list HERE)

2015 > Holly Herndon - ‘Platform’ (see full list HERE)

2014 > FKA Twigs - ‘LP1′ (see full list HERE)

2013 > These New Puritans - ‘Field Of Reeds’ (see full list HERE)

2012 > Django Django - ‘Django Django’ (see full list HERE)

2011 > Shabazz Palaces - ‘Black Up’ (see full list HERE)

2010 > These New Puritans - ‘Hidden’ (see full list HERE)

2009 > Animal Collective - ‘Merriweather Post Pavilion’ (see full list HERE)

2008 > Wild Beasts - ‘Limbo, Panto’ (see full list HERE)

2007 > Animal Collective - ‘Strawberry Jam’ (see full list HERE)

2006 > Safetyword - ‘Man’s Name Is Legion’ (see full list HERE)

2005 > Animal Collective - ‘Feels’ (see full list HERE)

2004 > Devendra Banhart - ‘Rejoicing In The Hands’ / ‘Nino Rojo’

2003 > Dizzee Rascal - ‘Boy In Da Corner’

2002 > The Streets - ‘Original Pirate Material’

2001 > The Beta Band - ‘Hot Shots II’

2000 > Outkast - ‘Stankonia’

1999 > The Beta Band - ‘The Beta Band’

1998 > The Beta Band - ‘The Three EPs’

1997 > Radiohead - ‘OK Computer’

1996 > Beck - ‘Odelay’

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THE RULES - No Re-issues, Live Albums, Compilations, or EPs.

---

SPECIAL MENTIONS for these collections

Bulbils (Richard Dawson & Sally Pilkington) - 50 lockdown albums

Dean Blunt ‘Roaches 2012-2019’

These New Puritans ‘The Cut (2016-2019)’  

Hudson Mohawke ‘B.B.H.E.’ & ‘Poom Gems’

Various Artists ‘Paul Institute - Summer 2020’

Various Artists ‘Return To Y’Hup - The World Of Ivor Cutler’

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***SPOTIFY PLAYLIST FEATURES TRACKS FROM TOP 80 ALBUMS (coming later) ***

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WORTH A MENTION (in no order) - A bunch of albums i enjoyed but didn’t quite make the final lists and others i just didn’t hear enough to be considered properly.  A list for future me to revisit.

Still House Plants / Fire-Toolz / Lomelda / Jerskin Fendrix / Zebra Katz / The Bug / Lorenzo Senni / Diamond Soul / Wilma Archer / Black Dresses / The Fantasy Orchestra / William Carkeet / Bonny Light Horseman / KA / Yung Lean / BlackPink / Rural Internet / Okay Kaya / Future / Belan / Tame Impala / Banoffee / JARV IS / Grimes / Whitmer Thomas / Jeff Parker / The Massacre Cave / Porridge Radio / Selena Gomez / Teyana Taylor / Sparkle Division / Cecile Believe / Lyra Pramuk / Waxahatchee / Happyness / Khruangbin / Bananagun / OHMME / Drakeo The Ruler / Missterspoon / Juice WRLD / Lonnie Holley / Jiafeng / October Drift / Roisin Murphy / KeiyaA / Dizzee Rascal / Salem / Tiña / The Weeknd / Aaron Cartier / Dana Gavanski / A.R. Pinewood / The Cool Greenhouse / Royce Da 5’9’’ / Rachel Aggs / Karl Band / Four Tet / Georgia / Sonic Boom / Kali Uchis / Luis Pestana / Salac / David A Jaycock / Klein / Temple After Faith / Roman Noseband / Dylan Henner / G.S. Sultan / Hinds / Jess Williamson / Coby Sey / Randolph’s Leap / Matthew D. Gantt / Stephen Kerrison / Katie Gately / Snails / Juniore / Good Dog / Lil B / Kamaiyah / Ryuichi Sakamoto / The Big Moon / Zoe Mc Pherson / Holy Fuck / Ovrkast / Reol / Andy Shauf / Ethan Gruska / Poliça / D Smoke / Sign Libra / Chara & YUKI / Wiley / Bad Bunny / Shirley Collins / Jordana / Gaika / DJ Python / North Americans / Michael / Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith / Lido Pimienta / Everything Is Recorded / Lwesberg / Sufjan Stevens & Lowell Brams / Rhodri Davies / LA Priest / Ian William Craig / Flohio / Irreversible Entanglements / Islet / Westside Gunn / Empress Of / NNamdi / Warm Digits / Baxter Dury / Kehiani / Eels / Emmy The Great / Owen Pallett / Elysia Crampton / The Beths / Julianna Barwick / Liv.E / Jimothy Lacoste / Ben Frost / J Hus / Sylvan Esso / Haiku Hands / Ariana Grande / Jean Dawson / Food House / Nuala Honan / Helena Deland / Boldly James / Headie One / Oliver Coates / Lowkey-E / Bree Runway / Warren Ellis / Boldy James & The Alchemist / Young Knives /  Little Dragon / The Garden / Melt Yourself Down / Quakers / Kamasi Washington / Mogwai / Gil Scott-Heron & Makaya McCraven / Eyeliner / ‘The Whalebone Box’ OST / Special Interest / Teyana Taylor / Nadine Shah / Tricky / Moor Mother / Nick Storring

---

2020 RUNNERS UP (in no order)

William Basinski ‘Lamentations’

Hook ‘Crashed My Car’

Vic Berger IV ‘Late Enough To See The Moon’

Nines ‘Crabs In A Bucket’

My Morning Jacket ‘The Waterfall II’

Firestations ‘Dream Home’

Moses Boyd ‘Dark Matter’

Dick Dent ‘Life’s Hard’

Nicholas Stevenson ‘Dead Arm, Vol.2’

Otto ‘Clam Day’

Pa Salieu ‘Send Them To Coventry’

Undermedvetenheten ‘Undermedvetenheten’

Martha Ffion ‘Nights To Forget’

Adrianne Lenker ‘Songs’

Happy Spendy ‘You’re Doing Okay’

Mark Korven ‘The Lighthouse’ OST

21 Savage and Metro Boomin ‘Savage Mode II’

Yorkston/Thorne/Khan ‘Navarasa’

Three Queens In The Mourning & Bonnie Prince Billy ‘Hello Sorrow / Hello Joy’

Shopping ‘All Or Nothing’

Megan Thee Stallion ‘Good News’

Obongjayer ‘Which Way Is Forward?’

Mush ‘3D Routine’

Geoff Barrow, Ben Salisbury & The Insects ‘Devs’ OST

Luke Abbott ‘Translate’

Spinning Coin ‘Hyacinth’

Princess Nokia ‘Everything Sucks’

Fleet Foxes ‘Shore’

Julia Holter ‘Never Rarely Sometimes Always’ OST

Sufjan Stevens ‘The Ascension’

Nicolas Jaar ‘Cenizas’

Pottery ‘Welcome To Bobby’s Motel’

Jessie Ware ‘What’s Your Pleasure?’

Jung Jae II ‘Parasite’ OST

Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist ‘Alfredo’

Doves ‘The Universal Want’

Brigid Mae Power ‘Head Above The Water’

Bab L’ Bluz ‘Nayda!’

James Yorkston ‘That Summer, We Flew’

Oklou ‘Galore’

Angel Olsen ‘Whole New Mess’

The Lemon Twigs ‘Songs For The General Public’

Marie Davidson & L’Œil Nu ‘Renegade Breakdown’

Gupi ‘None’

Alexia Avina ‘Unearth’

John Bence ‘Love’

Colin Stetson ‘Color Out Of Space’ OST

King Krule ‘Man Alive!’

Against All Logic ‘2017-2019’

Willie J Healey ‘Twin Heavy’

Jam City ‘Pillowland’

MXLX ‘Maximum Amounts Of Extremely Fucking Yes (Vol.1)’

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THE TOP 80 ALBUMS OF 2020

80. Poppy ‘I Disagree’ 79. ThisisDA ‘Mud Hype’ 78. Fenne Lily ‘BREACH’ 77. Gorillaz ‘Song Machine’ 76. Soccer Mommy ‘Color Theory’ 75. 1995 Epilepsy ‘1995 Epilepsy’ 74. Jabu ‘Sweet Company’ 73. Actress ‘Karma & Desire’ + ‘88’ 72. Chloe x Halle ‘Ungodly Hour’ 71. Dirty Projectors ‘5EPs’

70. Beatrice Dillon ‘Walkaround’ 69. Matmos ‘The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises In Group Form’ 68. Blanck Mass ‘Calm With Horses’ OST 67. Eartheater ‘Phoenix: flames Are Dew Upon My Skin’ 66. Sega Bodega ‘Salvador’  65. Savage Mansion ‘Weird Country’ 64. Kelly Lee Owens ‘Inner Song’ 63. Daniel Blumberg ‘On&On’  62. Clementine March ‘Le Continent’ 61. HAIM ‘Women In Music Pt.III’

60. Dua Lipa ‘Future Nostalgia’ 59. Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs ‘Viscerals’ 58. Darkstar ‘Civic Jams’ 57. Lil Uzi Vert ‘Eternal Atake’ 56. This Is The Kit ‘Off Off On’ 55. Shabazz Palaces ‘The Don Of Diamond Dreams’ 54. Princess Nokia ‘Everything Is Beautiful’ 53. The Orielles ‘Disco Volador’ 52. Oro Swimming Hour ‘Pteradactyl’ 51. MXLX ‘Serpent’

50. Dan Deacon ‘Mystic Familiar’

49. Jay Electronica ‘A Written Testimony’

48. Fiona Apple ‘Fetch The Bolt Cutters’

47. Galen Tipton ‘Ungoliant’

46. Knife Liibrary ‘MARKS: Songs For Those I Have Killed’

45. Deerhoof ‘Future Teenage Cave Artists’

44. Caribou ‘Suddenly’

43. Working Men’s Club ‘Working Men’s Club’

42. Seamus Fogarty ‘A Bag Of Eyes’

41. Field Music ‘Making A New World’

40. Cornershop ‘England Is A Garden’

39. Lambchop ‘Trip’

38. Katy J Pearson ‘Return’

37. Amaarae ‘The Angel You Don’t Know’

36. James Ferraro ‘Neurogeist’

35. Hen Ogledd ‘Free Humans’

34. Spectres ‘It’s Never Going To Happen And This Is Why’

33. Laura Marling ‘Song For Our Daughter’

32. Bill Callahan ‘Gold Record’

31. Bob Dylan ‘Rough And Rowdy Ways’

30. A.G. Cook ‘7G’

29. Good Sad Happy Bad ‘Shades’

28. SAULT ‘Untitled (Black Is)’

27. Run The Jewels ‘RTJ4’

26. Clipping ‘Visions Of Bodies Being Burned’

25. Thundercat ‘It Is What It Is’

24. Pictish Trail ‘Thumb World’

23. Jessy Lanza ‘All The Time’

22. Yves Tumor ‘Heaven To A Tortured Mind’

21. Sorry ‘925’

20. Yaeji ‘What We Drew’

19. A.G. Cook ‘Apple’

18. Wesley Gonzalez ‘Appalling Human’

17. Pet Shimmers ‘Face Down In Meta’ & ‘Trash Earthers’

16. Arca ‘KiCK i’

15. 100 Gecs ‘1000 Gecs And The Tree Of Clues’

14. Tara Clerkin Trio ‘Tara Clerkin Trio’

13. Richard Dawson ‘Republic Of Geordieland’

12. Phoebe Bridgers ‘Punisher’

11. Perfume Genius ‘Set My Heart On Fire Immediately’

10. Charli XCX ‘How I’m Feeling Now’

9. Rina Sawayama ‘SAWAYAMA’

8. Dorian Electra ‘My Agenda’

7. Alabaster DePlume ‘To Cy & Lee: Instrumentals Vol.1’

6. SAULT ‘Untitled (Rise)’

5. Tim Heidecker ‘Fear Of Death’

4. Moses Sumney ‘græ’

3. Oneohtrix Point Never ‘Magic Oneohtrix Point Never’

2. Crack Cloud ‘Pain Olympics’

1. The Flaming Lips ‘American Head’