#Kaiden Alenko

[h4vke]

Kaiden likes these strong women

[msunitedstatesjames]

The ME3 Citadel DLC really has everything:

-An evil clone

-Commander Shepard and Javik battling for top billing with Blasto the hanar in a war propaganda film

-An anime style zoom in on the eyes of Traynor and her greatest rival over a match of space chess

-A scene where you have to manually press whatever buttons your system requires 183 times to beat James in a pull up competition

-A scene where the gang is trapped in a vault with limited air, while Shepard complains about the fact that no one told them how cheesy they sound when they talk

-Shepard forcing a hardened mercenary/bounty hunter to say 'please' when he asks for more change to beat the claw game in an arcade

-Shepard almost being assassinated in a sushi resturant, then being ceaselessly derided for falling through a fish tank in their escape attempt and getting everyone's favorite restuarant closed

-Potentially a sexy tango dance scene with a merc-killing vigilante turian

-The chance to rebelliously stick your hands under a decorative waterfall so many times that a staff member is like, 'fine, do what you want, but just so you know this waterfall is a hanar urinal'

-Shepard learning to play piano

-Shepard Accusing Kaiden of poisoning them Canada style

-A toothbrush that prevents a hijacking attempt

-Watching some good old fashioned telepathic sports and cracking open a cold one with the boys while the galaxy is in a shambles

-Wrex complaing that he's been having so much sex he's too exhausted to fight the Reapers

-Playing fetch with a skillet and a Varren

-Just two space divas drinking wine and talking about shoes

-"It's joking time."

Unironically, this is truly Bioware's finest work.

[zeroslashsix]

The “Shepard Effect” has gotten so much funnier to me as I replay Mass Effect. The thing where all Shep’s squadmates end up flying the nest and becoming big important players in their own spheres? Like the random mercenary Shep brought along to hunt Saren ended up leading his entire species, that random Quarian kiddo on her Pilgrimage ends up as her species ambassador, the Virmire survivor becomes the next human Specter, etc. It’s the effect Shepard just has on the people around them that launches their careers/destinies... except it doesn’t apply to Shepard themself. I get the marketing plan of “Commander Shepard” being the only title so they’re more recognizeable to a gamer audience, but from a military perspective it is so fucking funny that Commander Shepard doesn’t get promoted once. Like not even posthumously, not even after saving the Citadel and killing Reapers left and right, all the while their squadmates are jumping from lieutenant to major, kid to ambassador, professor to Shadow Broker. Garrus isn’t even attached to any government body, and he still goes from C-Sec officer to Omega vigilante to Reaper expert(?) in the turian Hierarchy. It’s unclear what his official position is in the third game, but we know he gets a salute from a Hierarchy general.

And here’s Shepard cruising through, still a Commander because obviously they haven’t done a single thing worthy of promotion since the first game. No, it’s fine, they’ll fix everything for you and keep killing Reapers left and right. Died in the line of duty? Just a normal tuesday for Commander Shepard, nothing noteworthy here. Yes they will be the commanding officer of a major, there is nothing strange about this rank structure. 

[littlebirddraws]

A character sheet of one of my favourite characters, Kaiden "pancakes are my love language" Alenko.

This is based off of @swaps55's version of Kaiden, because at this point her Opus series is the only version of Mass Effect I accept.

[hum-tittle]

Here's the order, I think the squadmates would be found if they played hide and seek.

Mordin- He doesn’t hide. He says he wants to study how we all hide and react in a non dangerous but stress inducing situation. But he is actually running several bets against everyone and is keeping track of that data.

Javik- He refuses to hide, he says something about how hiding is weak and he will not practice weakness

Tali- She giggles when playing hide and seek

Grunt- he thought he was hidden well behind the counter but the top of his head is visible

Legion- He definitely would have been higher if his face wasn’t a literal flashlight

It has now been about five minutes.

Jack and Miranda- They both hid in the same closet. They start to argue about who should leave “their” hiding place. They then started throwing things and were quite loud.

James- He self eliminates. He was bored and just wanted to do better than Jack.

Ashley- She also self eliminates to flirt with James

It has now been about 10 minutes since they started

Liara- James sends Gliph to get Liara revealing her location.

Jacob- He was hidden decently it was just where Shepard happened to look

Joker- EDI helped him find a good safe spot before she hid

They’re 20 minutes into the game

Kaiden- He climbed somewhere to hide and Shepard found him while doing that stretch thing they always do.

Zaeed- He fell asleep while hiding and his snoring gave him away.

45 minutes have passed since the beginning

Samara- She felt it would be unfair to use her biotics against non-biotics.

We are now at the hour mark of the game. Javik is getting annoyed and is now determined to help Shepard find the last few.

Garrus- Javick found him. Once Javik started helping, so did everyone else.

Wrex- Is found by Tali in a small compartment. After the genophage cure, he has developed amazing hiding skills. Everyone is still confused how he was able to fit in there.

It has now been an hour and a half with three players not found. They split into teams to find them.

Thane- he is “found” by Grunt and Jack. He heard them talk about their lack of childhood and how they wish they got to experience things like this. He lets them find him.

It has been 2 hours since the start. Shepard suggests giving up and letting EDI and Kasumi win. Javik is enraged he can’t find them. And refuses to give up.

Edi and Kasumi- Javik finally found them after 30 minutes of searching. They were hiding in the same closet Jack and Miranda were in earlier. EDI and Kasumi were working together and knew after the mess Jack and Miranda made no one would think they would be hiding in there. Javik was so annoyed he wanted to play again but with his rules, and he wanted to be the seeker.

[noodlini]

First Kodiak trip post Priority: Citadel! A lot has changed since the good old days

Bonus Garrus. He heard his name

[pigeonrocks]

probably wont finish the me3 squad screen... so here are the redraws i did anyway for me1 & me2 :)

[aubiesquire]

exCUSE me Shepard, that butt glance was not subtle

[lizardsexposed]

[scruffynerfherder17]

✨Oooh aaaaah these are available on my Ko-Fi✨

Acrylic charms, yippee wahoo. Each is about 3.5 inches.

If these go well, there's a couple more designs I'd love to throw up. Thanks for swinging by and checking them out if you do!

[mass-effect-anonymous]

CONFESSION:

I am on my my bajillionth playthrough of the trilogy. I almost always romance Liara but I decided on a whim to romance Kaiden for the first time instead of leaving him on Virmire. I think I might be a little bit in love with Kaiden. Sorry Liara.

[chillydillyickle]

Kaiden Alenko commission

Completed my very first commission! Drawing of Kaiden Alenko with a special chair added for @unfair-water-plane, thank you very much for being interested!

[trannydykepuppybot]

Kaiden Alenko, God's okayest white boy: I think we need to address what's between us.

The most lesbian Shepard imaginable who just had a romantic chat with her girlfriend: The table?

[littlebirddraws]

A smaller little comic I made based off of this fic by @swaps55. Even if you don't know the rest of the fanfiction series, it's worth reading. It's so 🥰

[necroneol]

this wasnt suppsed to have like. a promiscuous vibe but OKAY…(i couldnt decide on the bg color)

(pronouns are he/him)