#Kade

[lungsandlips]

who: kade conroy. actor, asshole. what: just a little alone time open to: m/f/nb/idc

-----

Getting time to be all by himself is so rare that Kade always takes advantage of it. Even now when he knows there's probably somewhere else he's supposed to be or something else he's supposed to be doing the fact that he's alone is enough to let him forget all about it. Alone is enough to have him panting heavy, biting back little gasps. It shouldn't feel so good but it does, doesn't matter that he could easily be having someone else do this for him. Then suddenly he hears it, someone else, somewhere near and he's a little mad but not enough for him to stop.

"Fuck," he groaned. "If you're going to pretend you're not watching at least be quiet."

[phantom31516]

is this a safe space for my kadewave angst

[bedtimegiraffe]

I finally figured out why all the party members in Book 2 come out as so frustratingly self-focused to me.

It's not because they're all struggling with their own stuff. It's all about shelving your agenda- that thing in a relationship where you go, 'You need my support right now, so we're going to worry about my thing later.'

And MC does this constantly.

I just barely escaped death and found out a year passed, but is Kade recovered from the Shadow Court?

I just almost drowned, but it's time to comfort this owlbear cub and unpack Valax's trauma!

I just almost died twice to the Ash Empress, but is Nia coping with being corrupted okay?

Which can be okay. Shelving your agenda is part of a healthy relationship of any kind.

The problem is that no one does it back. I think Tyril and Nia kind of sum up the whole group's attitude:

But I don't think MC was ever going to be 'ready.' Someone else was always going to have to 'unshelve' it for them and make an effort to put the focus on MC.

Now, adventurers don't tend to be particularly well adjusted people. The full party has got maybe 1.5 healthy childhoods and 4 living parents between them (judged pretty generously). But it still feels like the others can't get it together enough to ask if MC is okay. Not that MC really makes it easy! I see MC as someone who is so used to pushing their feelings down to focus on whatever work is in front of them, they almost can't access their own emotions.

Which is why we had the brief glimpses of panic and the breakdown moment in Chapter 17. I think the breakdown makes sense mechanically. Kade is the one character your MC is guaranteed to have a strong connection to and this way it's not gated behind any diamond choices (like some really crucial character moments with Aerin and Valax, no I'm not bitter about it). But that makes it feel like the whole party has been neglecting MC while Kade immediately sees MC and goes, "Dude, you are not okay. Talk to me.'

And MC tries to turn it into comforting Kade! Kade has to actively argue with MC to make them actually acknowledge that they're having a hard time.

MC for some reason can't or won't talk about their own trauma and Kade (who's only been around for 5 minutes) is the one who has to actively force the issue for MC's own good. Which is not a great look for the rest of the found family.

Afterward, Mal and Nia both seem to address it without really getting the point. Mal says, "We know things didn't go the way any of us wanted." (Which could mean... anything. But I'm feeling generous.)

Protecting MC from death is not an equivalent exchange to talking about feelings! It is in fact dodging the feelings by focusing on practicalities again! Y'all better get it together in Book 3, I swear.

Overall, MC constantly delays addressing their own vulnerability and issues to focus on everyone else. And the others don't know how to do the same thing for MC, so the pattern just gets more engrained and damaging.

Except for Kade, my perfect boy.

Sources (they're fun, I promise!):

Screenshots from Neckrone Shen's playthroughs of Blades on YouTube, my go-to for whenever I can't remember something or don't have the screenshots myself.

I think @oh-so-youre-a-nerd's incredible piece 'Take Take Take' kept rattling around in my head until I figured out how to articulate why it felt this way: https://www.tumblr.com/oh-so-youre-a-nerd/736449955360899072/take-take-take?source=share

The language of 'shelving your agenda' came from the very good Cinema Therapy video about Kristoff from Frozen:

[rjschoicesstuff]

Brothers!!

[hemlocketrove]

HI I READ TRIPLE SEC BY @tjalexandernyc AND IT WAS AMAZING, had me kicking my feet and giggling and EVERYTHING

This is Kade (they/them), Mel, and Bebe (both she/her)!

I can’t wait to reread this honestly, it was the fastest I’ve ever finished a book

[happilymarriedgaydads]

Where did the time go, our lil’ guy turns 6 on Halloween! 🎃

[theghostwrites]

I still can't process, can't fathom the fact that Jade and Kit are allowed to be so passionately in love with each other. I get chills witnessing how epic their story is, and how much fierce devotion they profess to one another. I'm in awe. This is a show primarily aimed at a younger audience and I get a bit choked up just thinking of how much pain and confusion it would have saved me, to have this in my formative years. I see so much of myself in Jade, and the fact that she's this beautifully crafted, noble young lesbian is everything to me.

[mymycorrhizae]

Sam's friends instantly loving Mon

[kamostaza]

[sharkbaitblr]

I need everybody to know that according to this: Willow’s gay romance wasn’t challenged by Disney, says creator - Polygon, Kit and Jade's romance will be front and center.

I need all my Avatrice, Raylla, and Wenclair girlies to know this. WE'RE GETTING FANTASY LESBIANS!!! Anywaysssss, what are they? Kade? Jit? Princess Knight??? :)

[gaiuskamilah]

kade and aerin both being book-loving younger brothers. both of them falling to shadow in two different ways - with aerin succumbing to it and eventually being its willing servant while kade was its prisoner and fought against it. aerin resenting baldur and baldur thinking low of his own flesh and blood while kade loves mc and mc loves kade even when they're not blood related. baldur being killed by his own brother while kade is saved by his sibling. light and shadow and parallels and narrative foils i love you. kade being the one to lay the final blow on aerin in the final chapter of blades i love you.

[lungsandlips]

open to: m/f/nb what: kade's a pouty little jerk who: kade conroy. actor/asshole/nepo baby

"Are you done ignoring me yet?" Like a child, Kade sat pouting. For how long, he wasn't sure. If anything was actually wrong it was uncertain but for a man that thrived on attention it surely felt like the end of the world. Sometimes he wanted it from everyone all at once. That was when he acted out, made people look, forced the press to run stories about him because how could they not? Other times he wanted it from individuals, certain people deemed special enough to exist close enough to his ever growing sun. "We've been here for two days and you've suddenly made loads of new friends." A vacation, just to get away, somewhere warm. That had been the only thing he'd required and yet there he sat, soaking up the sun, miserable.

[storyofmychoices]

It took 17 chapters for someone to acknowledge that MC went through a trauma

[bedtimegiraffe]

Enjoy (?) some screenshots of Kade being grievously injured at the end of book 1, with consequences into book 2!

Book 1 fight with the Dreadlord possessing Nia:

Book 2 reunion:

Kade is still remarkably chill though. A+ brother

[skazkaz]

[therealbl0om-blog]

A DAY OFF

The Burn's Family and the Rescue Bots were on a mission observing the Mainland, Heatwave was the one who denied to go to the mission so he can keep the firehouse and the Griffin Rock secure. He should be fine due to the Griffin Rock knowing about the Bot's identities.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning... It was around 7 A.M. Heatwave woke up at 6 A.M., watching some TV as he didn't know what to do at the time. Suddenly, a soft rain was heard outside, including a little bit of thunder in the background, it caused the scenery to be a lot more relaxing for Heatwave.

"How perfect..." Heatwave spoke with a sigh, leaning against the soft couch.

As he watched the TV he suddenly heard a crash in the garage. "Huh?" He looked up toward the bot-elevator and decided to check it out.

He was ready for anything that was in the firehouse... As the elevator took him up to the garage he saw nothing, but a flipped over table with Graham's tool box on the ground. He groaned and walked over to it and picked it up.

"Okay, whoever is in here... Graham will be mad about his tools!" Heatwave shouted as he scanned the area, looking quite pissed as his relaxation was disturbed.

Another crash was heard again, but this time in the bunker. Oh for primus sake... He went back down the elevator and looked around, the TV was turned on... Heatwave swore that he had left that thing on. He walked near it and turned it back on. He saw a small flick of ginger hair on the ground, he crouched down and scanned it... That hair color looked similar... But there were other humans with ginger hair. It couldn't be him... He knows that he went with the others.

As Heatwave scanned the hair flick on the floor, another crash happened but it was right in front of him. Kade stumbled upon the chair and swore. "Kade! Watch your language!" Heatwave shouted as he saw Heatwave. "Wait, KADE!?" He stood there with shock in his optics.

"What in the name of Primes are you doing here!?" He lifted his servos in the air, growling... He thought Kade went with the others on the mission. Well apparently he was wrong.

"What in the name of God are YOU doing here? Aren't you with others?!" Kade shouted back at the fire bot.

"I told them I'm staying here to secure the firehouse and the island, now why are YOU doing here?! I better hear a valid excuse!" Heatwave shouted as he pointed down at Heatwave.

"I, uh, uhm?!" Kade tried his best to think of an excuse, course he is bad at making them anyway... "I just wanted to stay here too.... Uh... help you?.. Heh?" Kade chuckled with nervousness in his tone.

Heatwave face-palmed his face plate and growled. "You just stayed here because you were too lazy... Weren't you?" Heatwave scoffed and looked down.

"Okay, yeah..." Kade giggled softly and softly rubbed the left upper arm. "But hey! You at least got company, am I right? Hehe!?" Kade giggled as he made out a pose.

"Right..." Heatwave growled and turned around. "I'm going to stasis, don't do anything stupid around the firehouse!" Heatwave pointed his digit at him. "I ain't going to babysit you as I usually do on rescues."

"Pfft, whatever!" Kade lifted his hands in the air and walked away. Heatwave growled and went to the bunker where the stasis were located at.

It didn't pass long... about an hour or so. Heatwave woke up and stretched himself from the deep sleep. "Ah, now that's what I call relaxation!" Heatwave smiled and then looked around, it was quiet... Too quiet.

"He probably went to sleep as well, still raining... He shouldn't be outside should he?" Heatwave questioned himself and looked around the firehouse... Nothing changed, it was just quietness in the area... But then he heard noises up on the roof top.

"Of course he's still awake..." Heatwave growled and face-palmed himself. He went up to the roof top by using Blades' elevator and decided to check what was going on.

When he arrived at the roof top it was... nothing. Just the wind hitting against a metal. He growled. "... Paranoid me..." He walked over to the metal object and placed it straight on the ground so it doesn't make any noise from the wind.

"Prime.. this storm is getting kind of harsh. Hopefully there aren't any lightnings or thunder near us." Heatwave scanned the storm, it was going to be quite the one... He went back inside the firehouse and saw Kade sitting on the couch, clearly in stress.

"What's got the tough man shaken up?" Heatwave chuckled at his own joke as he walked over, placing his left servo on his hip.

"Nothing, I'm just... not a fan of thunder..." Kade gulped and looked outside the window. Right... Kade was a bit tad scared of the thunder, nothing worse can happen, right?

"Oh, I'm surprised the brave little captain cuddles is strong. That he fears nothing!" Heatwave spoke in his sarcasm and giggled.

"SHUT UP!" Kade shouted at him. "Stop calling me that! And you clearly DON'T understand what I'm trying to imply here!"

"Wow look at that! Someone is trying to stand up for themselves huh?" Heatwave shrugged and crouched down to Kade's face level. "I'm surprised you didn't come to me first and begged me for comfort."

"Don't you fucking dare..." Kade growled as he stared down at Heatwave.

"Would I now? Whenever you need me, you always come crying to me! Hailey that, that person that, work here! But when I need you, oh your face just vanishes off of the face of this meatball of a planet!"

"That is not true-" Kade tried to speak up, but he was clearly interrupted by Heatwave.

"I'm not done, knucklehead. Others keep on questioning me on why don't we talk? Maybe because the little Kade doesn't want to, nor does he care. All he wants is just the help from me! Or, wait, I'm lying to myself. All that he wants is me to do everything for him! And what does he do to me? Absolutely NOTHING!" Heatwave shouted at the end of the sentence, staring down at Kade.

"Can you let me talk?!" Kade growled at him as Heatwave just kept on complimanting.

"No, because all that I would hear is you keep saying no that's not true, when it clearly is!" Heatwave then crouched down and used his ring finger and thumb to hold Kade's chin up and face him directly. "Maybe stop talking to me and think of your selfishness and jerk-ness and try to act like a real partner for once." He let go of his chin and walked out of the room.

Kade stood there in silence... That completely hit him. But what Heatwave said, wasn't 100% true... Kade just didn't know how to explain it, nor would Heatwave let him try.

Kade growled. "FINE! I don't need your help, nor did I even need it!" Kade shouted loudly so Heatwave could hear him and went back to his room.

Heatwave was now in the garage, watching through the window as the storm was really coming down. "Finally... Some peace and quiet from him. I'm so glad I'll manage to find someone else..." Heatwave sighed and transformed into his alt, maybe a quick nap wouldn't be a problem...

Hours later, it was around 6 P.M. Heatwave was wide awake and quite confused. "This is getting quiet, too quiet." Heatwave looked around the firehouse and didn't see Kade anywhere. "Oh I'm sure he is fine! Not like I care anyway..."

It had been the next day... Ever since the argument Kade and Heatwave haven't spoken. In fact, Heatwave hasn't seen Kade the whole day... It's now 3 P.M... Still raining as usual.

Heatwave was watching TV, quite peaceful at the moment but nothing was seeming to happen. He looked down at the empty couch beside him and sighed. He started to massage his side face's and growling.

"You don't care about him... You don't care about him... You finally have peace... He isn't annoying you... Get it together Heatwave-"

"Hey, Kade?!" Heatwave knocked all of a sudden on the door. Well that was a sudden change of behavior. "Come on, I haven't seen you the whole day after the argument. I'm quite worried and that is a surprise so you better take that as a compliment!"

"Kade come on man, please tell me you didn't take that stuff seriously, right!? Even if they're true??" Heatwave kept knocking on the door but there was no answer.

"Fine! Be a drama queen, if you need me, DON'T look for me!" Heatwave walked away from the door all grumpy and pissed...

Kade was inside his room, completely locked. He did hear Heatwave loud and clear, and he did take all that stuff seriously because he knows that Heatwave didn't joke about it. He sighed and kept laying in bed as he was completely covered under the blanket.

As it was raining softly outside, Kade looked up at the picture frame on his nightstand of him and Heatwave the first time they met... They didn't look so happy... But they still had the nerves to take a picture together. Kade stared down at it and growled, he tightened his fists and threw the picture near the door as the glass of it smashed into pieces and fell on the ground, with the wooden frame cracked and broken as well.

Later Heatwave was cleaning around the firehouse to at least dust it and have it clean before the others come. Sure, there's still a week and a half till they come back... But he was bored. "I have to do everything around the house while I'm with that lazy ass..." Heatwave growled to himself and sighed.

He placed the broom back where it was and placed his servos on his hips. "Looking fresh!" Heatwave spoke as he sniffed something. "Ugh, what in the name of Primus is that smell...?" Heatwave covered his nose and walked over to the trash. "Disgusting..." He picked up the bag and threw it out in the container.

"Much better." He smiled softly and looked around the clean firehouse. "Time to rest... Hopefully Kade later comes down and finally sees the work that I done, I deserve a break from him and this damn job!" Heatwave growled to himself and sighed.

He went near the elevator and transformed, taking a quick nap while in his alt form. His engine making soft snores. Suddenly he was awoken by a sudden smash. "The hell?" He transformed and looked around... "It sounded like it came from... Kade's room?" He titled his head and turned himself to a smaller size and went up to Kade's room.

"Okay, this is the last straw! Open the goddamn door!" Heatwave banged on the door and tried to get his attention. "That's it." He busted through the door and shoved it open. He saw Kade on the bed completely covered under the blankets. He growled and clenched his servos.

"Oh, wait till I get you-" Heatwave paused as he felt something underneath his feet. He lifted his left right foot up and saw a picture frame. "... What the fuck?" He crouched down and saw the glass around it and the broken picture frame, the picture rotated.

"Kade do you not know how to keep your room dust-" He was interrupted when Heatwave lifted the picture. He paused and looked at it with a clear sight. It was him and Kade together when they first met. Oh they didn't look so happy. He frowned and looked up at Heatwave.

"Kade?..." Heatwave's voice softened.. That was new. He walked over and placed his servo on Kade's shoulder. "Hey, uh... I'm uh..." He didn't really know how to properly apologize to Kade, since it is a rare sight for him to apologize to Kade anyway.

"I'm sorry..." He frowned and looked at Kade with a concerned face. He slowly turned Kade over to see him directly in the face... His face was shocked.

"K-Kade?!" Heatwave winced with concern. "Oh, primus, oh the primes.." Kade looked malnourished and unwell... He frowned and took out an emergency hunger box. He fed Kade a small soft sandwich and gave him water.

"It's going to be alright, oh, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that..." Heatwave spoke with guilt in his tone. He laid down beside Kade and wrapped his hands around him. "It's going to be alright, bud..."

"Heatwave...?" Kade spoke with softness and exhaustion as he looked at Heatwave. "You're... you're here?..."

Heatwave nodded softly and rubbed the back of his scalp. "Yes, of course I am you jerk... What the hell happened to you?.."

"... I'm sorry I-I just couldn't stop thinking about that argument we had..." Kade let out a soft sniffle as he spoke, looking away.

"Kade, you seriously took the whole argument for real?! I wasn't being serious!" Heatwave shouted, but with a soft tone.

"You did take it serious. You never let me explain, it's not my fault that I don't talk to you! I just don't know how to properly communicate with you, without making you pissed or annoyed! Each time we talk, your ass is mad!"

"Kade-" Heatwave tried to speak.

"No, you hear me out this time! Each time I try to talk with you, your smile just fades away, which makes me so damn insecure! Like, did I say something wrong?! What did I do? I just want to talk, not make him angry! Others keep on neglecting me that I don't care about you!" Tears started to stream down Kade's face. "BUT I DO! I care about you more than anything! More than myself, I just don't know how to show it properly! I'm scared that I'll do something wrong! Again! I don't want to act like a softie in front of others!"

"Kade..." Heatwave spoke as he lifted his chin up. "I'm sorry that i misunderstood you..., but you don't have to cry about it." He slowly wiped the tears off of Kade's cheeks. "I know I may not be the best bot to talk to, but you can always come to me if something bothers you..." He smiled softly.

He laid down on the bed and opened his arms. "Come here..." Heatwave spoke, smiling softly.

Kade resisted... But then he laid down on Heatwave's chest and let Heatwave embrace him. He had to admit. He loved the warmth from Heatwave's embrace. And listening to his spark beat was also comforting. He buried his face underneath Heatwave's chin and closed his eyes.

"There we go..." Heatwave smiled softly as he massaged Kade's head, while with the other hand, he massaged Kade's back. He started to rock him softly left and right as he hummed. "Can't believe I'm doing this, but... I love this..." He smiled and scratched Kade's head while humming.

Heatwave stayed awake the night and listened to the rain outside while humming and rocking Kade. It felt odd to do so... But it just felt right... He wiped the remaining tears off of Kade's cheeks and even planted a kiss on the forehead.

"My little human..." Heatwave whispered with a soft tone and continued to hum. He secretly enjoyed this... But if others found out about this, he'd deny it. He closed his optics and continued doing his thing as he let Kade sleep...

"Don't worry, Kade, I could never replace you... It may seem that I don't care about you.. but oh oh ho, no one can replace you, buddy. I care about you more than anything. I may not show it, but I'll always be there for you, no matter the cause... No partner will replace you. You're beyond perfect for me..." Heatwave smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I love you, Kade..."