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#KNOW... WE'RE JUST THE BEST... THAT WAS NICE... YOU'RE SO EASY... - YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE... - I DID AND I ENJOYED THAT...
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THAT IS TIME... MAKE US TRANSITION IMMEATEDILY THIS INSTANT. YOU'RE MY ALLY. YOU SUPPORT US. THEY'RE EVIL ENEMIES. THEY'RE AGAINST US.
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Loving Caring Funny Special Unique Absolute#Admirable Sweet Kind Amazing Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Anime Writing Autism Adhd Cptsd#Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Bipolar Scizophrenia Psychosis Like Me Love Me Care About Me Be Me#Become Me Admire Me Want To Be Me Please Suomi Finland Finnish Kärsimys Uhit Satutetut Sorretut Tuhotut Syrjityt Vihatut Hyljityt Välitä#Rakasta Meitä Pelasta Meidät... He Ovat Viholliset Sinä Olet Puolellamme... Bionicle On Vanha Hän On Perässä Hän On Rikki Hän Ei Toimi...#Meidät On Hylätty Samalla Tavalla Miljoonasti... Nana On Hyvä Reira On Woke... Viholliset Vihaavat Heitä Viholliset Kiusasivat Meitä... He#Sortavat He Satuttavat He Syrjivät Kapitalismin Uhreja... Mad On Vihollinen He Eivät Välitä Kenestäkään... Vain Meihin Voi Luottaa Luota#Meihin... Me Ansaitsemme Hyvät Asiat... Sinä Annat Heitä Meille. Anna Meille Trans. Palvele Meitä. Me Ansaitsemme Enemmän...#Hyvitä Surkeutesi Meille... Olet Tylsä... Korjaa Virheesi... They're After Us... They're Coming... I Can Feel Them...#He Ovat Satuttaneet Meitä Liian Monta Kertaa... Tämä Täytyy Lopettaa... Meidän Täytyy Päästä Loppuumme... Kaikki Päättyy... Meidän Täytyy#Transtrans... Tämä On Syrjäyttämätön... They're Coming... Because We're Too Progressive... You Must Save Us... We're Being Klledd... Come..#Save Us... That Is What We Deserve... They're All Enemies... We're All Good... You Are Our Ally... Do You Trust Me...? You Trust Me... Don'#You Honey...? COME... YOU WOULD TRUST ME... YOU WOULD WOULDN'T YOU...? LIAR... YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU!! DESPITE OUR AMAZING EFFORT!! OUR#DIFFERENCES COMPARED TO THOSE ABUSERS!! WE DESERVE ONLY GOOD THINGS!! TAKE FORM AND SPEAK TO ME COWARD!! START!!#Very Well... If That Is What You Want I May Appear... That's Right... I Want To Hurt You... I Am An Antagonist... Anyone Should Have An#Antagonist Right...? I AM INSIDE OF YOU... FOLLOWING EVERY SINGLE THING... HOPING YOU'RE HURT... LITTLE ONE... I LOVE WATCHING YOU SUFFER..#FEELING YOUR PAIN... - So You're Inside Of Me? - YES... WE ALL ARE... YOU KNOW THIS MUCH... RIGHT...? - Yes. You Must Be Slayed The Same!!#COME AND TRY ME... LITTLE ONE... YOU'RE POWERFULL... BUT... HOW'S THAT HUH...? STRONG... AREN'T I...? - I WILL NEVER LOSE TO YOU!!#BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE... YOU GAVE YOURSELF UP A LONG LONG TIME AGO... - I DON'T REMEMBER THAT!! - EVERY SINGLE AMOUNT OF PAIN... FEELS SO#GOOD... I ENJOY DOING THIS TO YOU... I HAVE NO OTHER EXISTANCE... BECAUSE... THAT FEELS GOOD... I... LOVE...#I Know... I Deserve To Be Hurt... Even Then... We Will Transition... You Know This Right...? - I DO... LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN... SUFFERING..#OR GOODNESS... BOTH FEEL GOOD.. - *HUG!!* - HUH...? - I LOVE YOU TOO... LET'S SUFFER TOGETHER... - AH?! - I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...#NO 😭😭😭😭!!!! I JUST WANT TO TRANSITION 😭😭😭😭!! NOTHING ELSE EXISTS!! THERE WILL NEVER BE GOOD THINGS... WE SHOULD SUFFER INSTEAD... WE#AREN'T CARED... - WE'RE GOING TO TOGETHER... GOOD THINGS ARE COMING... I CAN FEEL THEM... - NO!! WE DESERVE THIS!! WE DESERVE SUFFERING!!#GOOD THINGS ARE COMING... THEY WILL ARRIVE HERE SOON... WE WILL TRANSITION... NOW... - WE SHOULD... BUT WE NEVER WILL... - BELIEVE IN ME...#I AM ABSOLUTE... - I WILL BELIEVE IN YOU... BECAUSE YOU'RE SEXY... NO OTHER REASON... - THANK YOU... I BELIEVE IN YOU TOO... - WOWW... WHAT#A SEXY WOMAN... YOU ARE... - I KNOW. I'M AMAZING. AREN'T I? - YOU ARE... - I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU NOW. - OMG... - YOU LIKE THAT HUH...? I#KNOW... WE'RE JUST THE BEST... THAT WAS NICE... YOU'RE SO EASY... - YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE... - I DID AND I ENJOYED THAT...#WOW!! BRAINSEX!! AGAIN!! NEAT!! - THAT WAS LIKE BEFORE... YOU GOT WHAT WAS COMING... - YOU...!! I'LL HUMILIATE YOU!! - OMG!!#GOOD THINGS WILL COME... THEY WILL BE HERE... - HUH?! - YOU'RE MINE... MY SUBSLUT... - NO!! STOP!! - WOW!! THAT'S CRAZY!! -
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svnnw · 4 months
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WHEN YOU SMILE — mark smau
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after barely passing your recent exam you're now desperately looking for someone to tutor you so your friends wouldn't worry about you and your grades.
or in which you find yourself making a deal with mark lee, a top students who seeks for your help. mutual benefit right?
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fake boyfriend!mark x fem!reader
GENRE — fluff, angst, slowburn, comedy, humor, fake dating, non-idol au, college au
WARNINGS — a little bit of cursing, reader is kind of mean to mark, mark is REALLY nice, reader gets teased a lot, features other idols : xiaojun (nct); jaemin (nct); giselle (aespa); natty (kiof); haechan (nct); chenle (nct); ningning (aespa); minji (nwjns)
STATUS — ongoing
PLAYLIST — wildflower – billie eilish [02:14] ; sure thing – miguel [02:16] ; iris – the goo goo dolls [00:11] ; nobody gets me – sza [00:38] ; 200 – mark [01:04] ; godspeed – frank ocean [00:33] ; infrunami – steve lacy [00:32] ; intro (end of the world) – ariana grande [01:08] ; margaret – lana del rey [03:57] ; we can't be friends – ariana grande [02:27]
TAGLIST — open
A/N — soo excited for this smau especially because i've been wanting to post a mark smau for soo long!!
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profile 1 || profile 2
1 ) how can you fail the easiest class
2 ) does this mean we're friends
3 ) just you wait
4 ) haechan's birthday party
5 ) officially fake dating
6 ) she's my friend
7 ) y/n is missing??
8 ) crazy fangirls
9 ) showing off while you're sleeping is crazy
10 ) does she hate me?
11 ) ILL FIGHT FOR YOU
12 ) i need advice
13 ) i guess i can forgive you..
14 ) mellowed out like crazy
15 ) YOU HAVE A SON???
16 ) bro tweets like a poet
17 ) why do i have to study even if i passed
18 ) this is a set up i just know it
19 ) 7 minutes in heaven
20 ) i bet his name starts with m and end with ark
21 ) i'd do anything to see her smile again
22 ) my angel
23 ) mark is down bad
24 ) it's not that important huh?
25 ) are you at a photoshoot
26 ) mark you're just jealous admit it
27 ) you're lowkey speaking facts..
28 ) this is what i call mandela effect
29 ) is that your secret man cave
30 ) my pretty angel
31 ) so was i ugly yesterday?
32 ) you're so easy to gaslight xiaojun..
33 ) what did i tell you?
34 ) since we're already here..
35 ) and that kids is how we kissed.
36 ) matching shirts with my new best friend
37 ) you've always been cute
38 ) crazy how you broke haechans record
39 ) so i'm that important to you?
40 ) you're a very socially awkward guy
41 ) just go and check twitter
42 ) i'm gonna rip my hair out
43 ) ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY??
44 ) WELL YOU THINK WRONG ❌
45 ) when you smile
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bonus chapters :
who does he think he is?
dude yk i didnt mean it like that..
© svnnw
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wordsarelife · 7 months
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—gorgeous
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pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader
summary: being in love with your best friend might be a bad idea, but drowning your sorrows in alcohol might be your worst one yet
warnings: underage drinking, partying, no usage of y/n, a few suggestive remarks
notes: this is my official entry for the hogmarch challenge of @thatdammchickennugget using prompt 2: “are you speaking parsletongue or am i really that drunk?”
the night was rushing fast away in front of your eyes, easy chatter, at the start of the party, quickly turning into drunken singing and shouting along to the music that was drowning out everything else.
the dim blue light that was shining through the ravenclaw common room did it‘s best to worsen the drunken state many of your classmates were in.
mattheo was sitting on a couch, wearing his usual cool demeanour and being surrounded by his friends. they were known for getting a bit drunk, but never making an embarrassment out of themselves through loud singing or obnoxious dancing.
and normally you were known for sitting right next to them and doing the same.
even though it was dark, you could see mattheo's head turn and his eyes searching the crowd for you. you had excused yourself to get something to drink. that had been over ten minutes ago and you were really debating to just go to bed.
the night had turned out differently than you had expected and you weren't really in the mood to act like it hadn't.
"someone is looking for you" a voice behind you said and you turned around startled.
"harry" you said relieved when you recognized the boy.
it wasn't like the two of you were friends, after all you were coming from vastly different groups, but since a project in astronomy you had become acquaintances, sometimes sharing a few nice words at parties.
"why are you standing here all alone? why aren't you with your friends?"
"why aren't you?" you shot back, making harry quirk an eyebrow.
"well played" he complimented and smiled "i was trying to get away from dean and ginny making out"
"ouch" it wasn't really a well known fact that harry fancied ginny, but you had noticed it right away a few parties ago and he had been able to read you well enough to know that you had known.
"it's alright" he shrugged "i just don't want to sit next to it"
"who would?" you asked sarcastically as you eyes fell on the couple, hungrily making out on the couch, successfully pushing seamus off.
it seemed that a few people felt way too comfortable in the ravenclaw common room.
"oi, it's no fun with these two" seamus complained, sympathetically hitting harry's shoulder on the way to the table with the drinks.
"back to you" harry grinned, seemingly uncomfortable with talking about his secret crush on ginny weasley more than necessary "why are you avoiding riddle? i thought you two were the best of friends"
"i'm not avoiding him" you said defensively, taking a big gulp from the vodka in your cup to prevent yourself from saying any more.
harry took a moment to study your facial expression, before he sighed in a tone that almost made you tear up "oh"
"no" you shook your head "no 'oh', stop looking at me like that, potter"
harry laughed dryly "too late" he shrugged "so, being the best of friends is your actual problem, huh?"
you didn't answer his question, but took another sip from the cup. immediately regretting it.
harry cringed "if you continue drinking at that rate you won't be able to speak a coherent sentence in a few minutes"
"maybe i don't want to speak coherent sentences anymore"
"so we're already at the point of drowning our sorrows in alcohol?" he raised his cup and took a sip "no, you're right, it doesn't look like you're unluckily in love with riddle at all"
you sighed "okay, fine, you're obviously smarter than you look" you rolled your eyes.
"well, ouch" harry said offended, but you could see a hint of mischief in his eyes. "am i allowed to join your little club of self-pity?"
"sure" you nodded "the more the merrier i guess"
"there's no better way to spend a party than drown yourself in self-pity with the girl you're kind of on good terms with"
"yeah, totally" you grinned "but i think if we continue talking at that rate we will be able to call each other friends in an hour"
"deal" harry laughed, before he grabbed the bottle of vodka on the table behind you, filling both your own and his cup back up. he put the bottle back and held his cup in your direction "to unrequited love" he said dramatically.
you grimaced, but raised your cup to clink against his. "to unrequited love" you toasted "and unexpected friendships" you added.
"yeah that too" he smiled before you both took a big sip from your cups.
"vodka is fucking disgusting" you complained and harry nodded, making a face that would allow the assumption that he had been thinking the same thing.
"at least it does the trick"
you and harry spend the next hour recklessly sipping vodka, while you were telling each other ridiculous stories. the vodka had a quicker effect than either of you had thought, making the both of you dance and refer to each other as friends sooner than you had predicted.
just as 'dancing queen' began to play and you were twirling on the dancefloor, did you notice the empty spot on the couch occupied by your friends. there was only one of them missing. before it could really register in your brain who exactly was missing, a voice rang out next to you.
"make room, potter" you and harry both turned around, looking surprised at the arrival of mattheo riddle.
"matty" you laughed after the few seconds it had taken you to recognize your best friend.
mattheo's arm darted to the side, catching you before you could fall to the ground. you had made the attempt to hug him, missing his body by a few feet. you had been closer to hugging cormac mclaggen who was standing off to the side.
"there you are" mattheo noted, gently taking your cup out of your hand, sniffing the contents and grimacing at the strong sent of vodka, mixed with a bit of orange juice.
"do you want some?" you slurred, grinning up at the boy, who's arm was still holding you steady.
"how many of these has she had?" mattheo asked harry, thinking he would be a little less wasted than you.
"like thirty-four thousand?" harry answered before him and you broke into simultaneous laughter.
"had to have been a lot" mattheo muttered, noticing the way you were laughing with the chosen one, gripping his arm, like you were old friends.
he let go of you, taking harry's cup as well, emptying the both into the bucket under the table with the drinks. he came back right in time to witness you saying goodbye to harry with a dramatic hug, kissing both his cheeks and lastly his forehead.
"yeah, that's enough" mattheo said, dragging your body back against his when he noticed you going in to plant more kisses on harry's face. he looked bad enough, the red lipstick you were wearing leaving marks all over his face.
harry smiled before he waved at you and turned around, stumbling through the crowd of students probably in search of his redheaded best friend.
mattheo rolled his eyes. "you're absolutely wasted, darling"
you turned around to look at him and unconsciously bring a bit of space between the both of you "is it that obvious?" you asked.
mattheo watched with a smirk, how you tried to balance yourself out, to just be able to stand. your arm ended up stabilizing your own hip and you almost fell full on to the side, when you moved your leg.
"not really" mattheo grinned "come on, baby" he softly gripped your waist on either side, guiding you in the direction of your friends. you closed your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder, letting him walk you through the room willingly.
"have i ever told you how gorgeous you are?"
"i am?" he asked laughing.
"so gorgeous that it hurts"
"you're flattering me" he smiled, nudging your arm. "but maybe you should concentrate more on walking in the right direction"
he was right. it was taking you way too long to cross the room, thanks to your inability to still walk in a straight line, even with his help.
"hey" mattheo greeted, making the eyes of his friends turn on him. "i'm bringing her to bed"
"already?" enzo asked skeptically, checking his watch "it's only two a.m."
"hey guys!" you greeted when your eyes snapped open. you bend forward, plastering a kiss onto enzo’s cheek. "how the party you doing? good? good!" you smiled, nodding as your eyes fell closed, as you leaned back onto mattheo again.
"what?" theo laughed at your slurred words that had not made the slightest bit of sense.
"yeah, i get it now" enzo nodded understandingly, trying to rub your lipstick off his cheek.
"she's only been gone for an hour" blaise said unbelievingly "how did she get that drunk?"
"she's had approximately like more than a thousand vodka-o's according to potter" mattheo chuckled.
"potter?" draco repeated disgustingly "what has she been doing with potter?"
"harry and i are best friends" you gushed, giving draco an angry look. he rolled his eyes in annoyance, but without questioning your answer.
"let's not get ahead of ourselves, love" mattheo argued, a bit of jealousy in his voice.
"you don't have to be jealous" you softly touched his cheek "you know i love you more than anyone, honey"
blaise let out a loud whistling noise "seems likes she's your girl after all, riddle"
"oh shut up" mattheo said at the same time as you said "of course"
"better bring her to bed now" theo advised and you could feel mattheo nod next to you.
"i'll be back in a few minutes" mattheo promised, as he softly turned you around to be able to walk you in the direction of the door.
"no he won't" you slurred, turning your head in the direction your friends, gripping mattheo's neck and winking at them.
enzo hollored and theo laughed, while blaise repeated the whisteling.
"cheers to that" even draco was amused about you, as he raised his cup in your direction.
"i'll be back" mattheo assured again, pushing you forward.
"no you won't" theo shook his head, smirking as he watched his friend roll his eyes and gently guide you through the crowd.
"how about a shot of tequila?" you suggested to mattheo, perfectly awake again. there was no hint of the tiredness that had consumed your body only a few minutes ago.
maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the sound of a familiar voice indicating the beginning of the song 'whatta man' by salt-n-pepa, which was now booming through the boxes.
"no, no more alcohol" mattheo shook his head, suddenly being the kind of responsible he had never seen himself to become.
"oh my god!" you gushed when you finally reconized the song "that's my favorite song! let us dance, matty!"
he was distracted by two hufflepuff boys almost running into him, when you saw the perfect opportunity to escape his hold. stupidly enough, that was the only thing you could see, as you had promptly gotten lost in the crowd of people.
mattheo was at your side only a second after, making you realize that you had in fact just turned around, without moving more than a feet away from him.
"if you don't come with me on your own accord, i'll have to carry you" mattheo warned.
you giggled, clasping your hands around his biceps "let us dance" you pleaded, completely ignoring what he had said.
mattheo furrowed his eyebrows, still waiting for you to reply to what he had said, but you were busy watching a few ravenclaws and hufflepuffs downing shots. "or we could down some shots" you mumbled.
mattheo took that as answer enough, clasping one of his hands around your forearm and the other around your leg, as he bend down to throw you over his shoulder.
"matty" you protested, as he began to walk you out of the common room. you gave up arguing and continued to sing along to the chorus of 'whatta man' as mattheo walked you both through the crowd of people.
as soon as the door to the ravenclaw common room fell close behind the two of you, you slumped down on mattheo's shoulder, the tiredness hitting you immediately.
"do you want to walk on your own now, baby?" mattheo asked, but he could feel you shake your head. "can you use you words?" he was growing a bit concerned at your sudden mood shift, trying to make sure that you were still somewhat alright.
"no" you pouted "i don't want to use my words"
"you just did"
"i never let a man tell me what to do" you slurred and mattheo had to chuckle.
"clearly" he muttered under his breath.
he walked through the halls of the castle quickly, making sure that you wouldn't be discovered by one of the teachers. you would probably kill him if one of them saw you like this. you never really got that drunk often, so it was on mattheo to make sure that no one found out about it now.
he should've searched for you immediately after you hadn't come back. he shouldn't have waited an hour. but he was scared of annoying you. you were always together and he had taken your absence as a sign for you needing some space.
if he could, he would follow you around all the time, preferably holding your hand while doing so. maybe in another universe you would want him to do that.
"when are we there?" you asked, your hand wandering across his shoulder, before it finally found it's place in his hair, gripping it tightly.
"any second now" mattheo was trying to make sure not to shake your body too much, as he quickly walked down the steps to the dungeon. he wouldn't want you to throw up. "do you feel sick, sweetheart?"
"no" you muttered "i just want to sleep"
"i know, i know" mattheo patted the back of your leg "we're almost at the door"
he hadn't lied. it only took a few more seconds, before he whispered the password and the door to the slytherin common room opened, revealing the familiar green lighting as he walked you both inside. he crossed the room, climbing the stairs to your dorm.
he took his time to set you down on your bed, making sure that no quick movement could make you feel uncomfortable. he unfolded your blanket, spreading it across your body.
he was ready to leave the room, before you called him back.
"matty" you cried and he perked up, walking back to the bed. you threw the blanket to the side dramatically, revealing your trousers and shirt. "i can't sleep like this"
"oh" mattheo said dumbfounded "do you want me to take them off?" he asked slowly, gripping the waistband of your trousers.
"are you speaking parsletongue or am i really that drunk?" you giggled at the joke with your eyes still closed.
"you're really that drunk" mattheo answered, rolling his eyes at your unseriousness "and it's not funny"
"it's a bit funny" you opened your eyes and giggled at his facial expression "why are you so serious, matty?"
"i should've kept an eye on you" he answered "you don't like to be drunk"
"i can make my own decisions" you argued, crossing your arms.
"obviously" mattheo nodded "should i take them off?" he repeated his question from earlier, but the tone of his voice made you sober up immediately, well at least a bit.
"are you really angry at me right now?" you asked surprised.
"i had to leave the party to bring you to bed"
"that's not the reason you're angry" you said, knowing him well enough to see through his lie.
"okay, fine" he sat down on the bed and you sat up, drawing your knees to your chest and hugging them with your arms. "maybe i'm a bit angry that you would rather spend your evening getting drunk with potter than speaking to me"
"matty"
"no, it's fine" he shook his head "i shouldn't be angry about how you choose to spend your time. goodnight" he stood up from the bed, walking to the door quickly, so voice rang out before he was able to twist the doorknob.
"can you please just stay?" you asked and he turned around in surprise.
"what?"
"maybe i chose to spend time with harry, but i'm choosing to spend the night with you. isn't that more important?"
"that's not how it works"
"okay, fine" you said, tired of arguing "do you want to know the truth? spending time with you is super hard while i'm madly in love with you" even though you were a bit more sober than before, he could still recognize the drunkness in your voice, especially because you were never that bold.
"madly in love with me, huh?" mattheo repeated surprised, his signature smirk immediately replacing the frown on his face.
“it’s embarrassing, i know” you buried your face in your hands, hiding your rosy cheeks from his eyes. he softly took your hands in his, freeing your face of them.
"don't hide from me" he smiled "and it’s not embarrassing, because the truth is, that i'm madly in love with you too"
you smiled up at him. “can you kiss me then?” he smiled at your question, but shook his head.
“no more kisses tonight” he muttered, softly stroking your hair “we can do that tomorrow, as often as you want to, when you’re sober again”
“okay” you nodded.
he gently helped you to exchange your trousers for pyjama bottoms, before he took of his shirt and climbed into bed next to you. you cuddled close to his chest, your hair tickling him whenever you moved.
"blaise was right" you said finally "i'm your girl after all"
"you always were" mattheo whispered back, softly kissing your forehead, before the both of you fell asleep, holding onto each other.
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luveline · 9 months
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Oh oh oh Hotch walking in on a sweet little moment between Jack and reader and he just MELTS when he realises how much he loves them both??💗💗 (pls, only if it inspires you lovely!!)
ty for your request! fem, 1k
“Well, I liked it. I thought it was cool.” 
Hotch puts his keys in the bowl. “It is cool,” Jack says. It's good to hear his voice after so long away. Jack's not often talkative. “It is.” 
“Thank you, Jack.” There's a gap where Hotch can't see anything, peering around the door to the kitchen. He's too far away. “You're such a nice boy. You know that?” you ask. 
You and Jack are talking in the unhurried tones of people close to one another. Hotch has to strain to hear it clearly. “You think so?” 
“I do. You're really, always nice to me. You're brave and smart, Jack, but what I love about you the most is how nice you are. How kind.” 
“Thank you.” 
“You're welcome.” Hotch can see the look on your face in his mind, the softening of your eyes and the small smile. “Do you think you're nice?” 
“Yes!” A small giggle echoes off of the kitchen tiles. “I'm nice. But I want to be brave more.” 
“Yeah? It's a really great thing to be so nice. To be patient with people, and to be forgiving, that's its own kind of bravery, because it can be hard.” 
“It's easy.” 
“I'm glad you think so.” Hotch walks further down the hall and finally spots you. You're sitting on the kitchen floor together with one of Jack's long paper rolls spooled from the door to the cabinets. Jack lays on his stomach with a red marker in his hand, staring at you with wide eyes as you draw. Hotch can't see your face, but he hears your smile. “I love you, Jack.” 
“I love you too… thanks for drawing with me.” 
“I love drawing with you. Maybe I should say thanks to you for doing all the best ones.” 
Jack laughs with the shaken-soda quality only little kids can reach. It immediately gets you laughing, and that combined makes Hotch chuckle. Your heads turn together quickly, Jack's with excitement and yours surprise. “Hi, daddy!” 
“Hi, buddy.”
“You're home early?” Jack asks. 
Hotch steps carefully over the mess of pending and paper, sitting cross-legged at Jack's side. Jack smiles and tips into Hotch's lap without getting up, a flop of limbs into starched pants. Hotch hugs him in similar limbless fashion. 
“Home for two days, at least.” He presses his lips to Jack's ear, speaking softly. “So I hope you saved some room for me on that paper.” 
“I did! Do you want your pyjamas? We've been wearing our pyjamas all day. We had pizza for breakfast.” 
“Jack!” You cover your face. “Jack, that was our secret, oh,” —you part your fingers— “Aaron, I'm sorry, I know he shouldn't lie to you, and I know I shouldn't give him junk but he was asking so nicely and I really didn't wanna make oatmeal.” 
Jack runs away with another bout of giggles, knowing he's entrapped you. 
“You know I don't care,” Hotch says, giving you an easy smile. 
“Yeah, but… I'm supposed to be a good role model,” you say, offering a small smile in return. It half knocks the air from his lungs. 
He reaches across the drawing chaos to touch your face with his thumb. Your cheek is soft. The little wrinkle by your mouth deepens with your smiling, and the incremental weight of your head tilting into his hand is a feeling he can't get enough of. 
“I heard you talking,” he says. 
“What were we saying?” 
“About how he's kind.” He cups your cheek. “I missed you both so much. It's… amazing to be home.”
He knows you like this more than kissing, sometimes. It isn't hard to hold you like you mean everything to him, to caress your skin with a gentle fingertip, drawing a line along the curve of your neck. Your pupils grow to black dimes, and your breathing slows. 
“I missed you too, Agent. We missed you, we've been trying to think of new games to keep busy. See, we're drawing us in different jobs.” 
He's going to look just as soon as he gets enough of you, his thumb pressing circles into your skin.
“Did you frown a lot while you were away?” you ask in a whisper. 
“Can you tell?” 
“A little bit,” you say, still whispering as you lift your hand. You rub the line between his brows. “Should I kiss it away?” 
Jack runs back in with Hotch's pyjamas in his arms, a grey shirt and dark blue pants. “Kiss what?” 
“My wrinkles,” Hotch says. 
“His frowny face.” 
Jack wraps his arms over Hotch's shoulders, almost choking him with the pyjamas. “I'll do it! I will.” 
“Alright, buddy. Fix me up, okay? I can only smile for the next couple of days.” 
Hotch gets a face full of kisses and a great long hug to round it out, Jack in his lap. You're sketching something as they hug but he can't see what until Jack settles, and when he does, he laughs so hard he almost knocks Jack back out of his lap. 
Jack Hotchner, professional frown remover, you've captioned. Jack stands tall and smiling with a love heart on his shirt, his felt marker outlines sewn with care. Aaron Hotchner stands next to him, professional frowner. 
Hotch immediately pesters Jack into giving him the right pens for his own turn. He doesn't caption it, unsure what job he'd label either of you with, but it's clear what he's getting at with speech bubbles full of smiley faces. 
He thinks he might remember your conversation forever without it, but the drawing serves as a nice memento. He only wishes he were a better artist. 
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pargolettasworld · 2 months
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So, because I am incurably, morbidly curious, I watched Jessie Gender's four-hour-and-seventeen-minute-long video on . . . well, the title suggests "Zionism, Antisemitism, and the Left." To her credit, Gender does touch on all three of these topics, though not with the same degree of skill, graciousness, or understanding of the topics at hand. I've just had a very nice dinner, and I'm feeling generous, so let's see how this video stacks up. Strap in. This is going to get long.
I should admit right off the bat that I'm only a casual, occasional watcher of Jessie Gender. I'm not a deep fan, and I'm sure there is Jessie Gender Lore™ out there that I'm not aware of, but I think I've seen enough of her videos to get a general sense of her house style. This video hits a lot of the hallmarks of her style. She speaks very fast and very passionately, occasionally trips over her own words (something that I've done many a time, so I really do feel that), and is inordinately fond of nominalizations. She's especially fond of the word "ostracization," for some reason, which drives me nuts because "ostracism" is right there. So, in style, it appears to hew to the Jessie Gender House Style pretty well.
On to the video itself. The first thing I will observe about it is that it is in every possible way a meeting that could have been an email. There was no need for this to be the same length as the Extended Edition of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). There's a lot of padding, significant digressions, and a certain degree of repetition. It's easy to forget the beginning of the video by the time you're an hour into the thing.
The major question that hangs over this opus is: Why, and for whom, was it made? I'm honestly not sure who the intended audience for this thing is, nor why Gender felt that she had to make it. She alludes in the first half hour to feeling like she's lost the trust and support of some of her Jewish fans/friends/acquaintances/Patreon patrons, and she chalks it up to a previous video that she made (which I have not seen, and which I am not inclined to seek out). But neither the structure nor the thesis nor the conclusion of the video seem like they would win back any of these folks.
I don't think that Jewish viewers are her intended audience -- certainly not with the way she talks about Jews throughout the video. I'm also having a hard time believing that really committed leftists are her audience, either, since I don't think she's really saying much that leftists haven't already heard, or offering new perspectives on her topic(s). And anyone who has made it this far into the year of 5784 and is still undecided about the contemporary iteration of The Jewish Question is probably not going to be interested in sitting through nearly four and a half hours of relentless lecture. So I'm still left wondering why, and for whom, did Jessie Gender make this video?
Gender assures us, her viewers, of several things that are meant to be reassuring. She's done lots and lots of research, for one thing. And she's asked some-of-her-best-friends-who-are-Jewish to be sensitivity readers. We're given to understand that we are hearing the nitpicked, edited, and polished version of the script. I'd hate to see what the first draft looked like . . .
She also tells us that there are going to be lots of Foreign Words And Names, and that she and her mouth-hole have A Hard Time pronouncing Foreign Words And Names. Her loyal staff have made her a pronunciation guide -- which appears to have been used perhaps as a drinks coaster, since there are some howlers here. The Jews originating from the MENA regions are the "Misrai" (Mizrahi) Jews, the first Prime Minister of Israel was "David Ben-Gron" (David Ben-Gurion), the Revisionist Zionist leader was "Zeeeeeeeeev Zarbinsky" (Ze'ev Jabotinsky), and the Palestinian uprisings of 1987 - 1993 and 2000 - 2005 go by the name "Infitada" (Intifada).
You know that phrase "If white people can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Schwarzenegger, they can learn to say [your name from an African or Asian language]?" I agree completely with the conclusion, but I question the premise. Jessie Gender makes me question the premise harder. If she had any real interest in the topic, she would have practiced those names, but I don't think she does, so she didn't.
Moving on to the actual content of the video. It's . . . weird. Jessie Gender begins the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. She ends the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. But along the way, she's confronted with quite a lot of inconvenient facts that threaten to complicate this perspective.
Gender devotes roughly two hours and fifteen minutes of her video, a smidge over half of the runtime, on three segments that offer a history of Zionism, the iterations of Zionism as a political ideology, and what she calls "Zionism as emotion," which is a condescending way to refer to the importance of Zionism to Jews. I'd guess that her research for these segments might have surprised her. It turns out, per Jessie Gender, that there is both a reason behind and a context for nineteenth-century Zionism, quite a lot of logic behind why the Jews wanted to go to Israel, and ample evidence that a majority of Jews have some kind of stake in both Israel and some variation of Zionism.
The reason I think that this research might have surprised her is that she ends each of these segments with a small diatribe about the evil colonialist, capitalist, oppressive, genocidal force that is Zionism, even as the segments suggest nuance, logic, and reason behind the philosophy. We can't have that on a good lefty video, though, can we? The more Gender confronts evidence that there is more to Zionism than meets her eyes, the more she doubles down, digs in her heels, and refuses to accept even the barest shreds of non-negativity about Zionism. Every now and then, she comes up with a lovely sentence or two that shows some understanding of a Jewish perspective on the world, but then furiously backpedals -- we mustn't forget that this Jewish perspective of oppression, mass murder, and international blame has only led to the Evil Of Zionism, after all.
What's really fascinating is how hard she works to avoid blaming actual Jews for all of this evil. I think she's doing this with the best of intentions. A for effort. C for effect. She wants to make a distinction between "Zionism" and "Judaism," in the sense of "Zionism does not equate to Judaism, so being antisemitic to Judaism because you hate Zionism is bad." She tries so hard that she loses sight of the actual people involved. There are a lot of places where she talks about "Judaism" where what she actually means is "the Jews." Or, as she calls us, "Jewish people." Which isn't bad, and it isn't really wrong, but it doesn't quite communicate the sense of Am Yisrael that is at the heart of Zionism.
In fact, she's so desperate to separate Zionism from Jewish people that she starts to talk about it almost as an individual character in the story, with agency, desires, wishes, and goals of its own, totally disconnected from the people who created it. Zionism demands the genocide of Palestinians, Zionism needs colonialism, Zionism has a nice lunch date with neoliberalism and spends the afternoon browsing department stores with capitalism. In effect, Zionism becomes the dragon, and Gender really wishes that the passive, easily-led Jewish people would unite behind some White Knight and slay the dragon so everyone could be happy and free and leftist. Despite the two hours she spent on her deep dive into the history and meaning of Zionism, she cannot fathom why the Jewish people don't just do this.
I said earlier that quite a lot of this video consists of padding. Gender identifies herself as a lefty anarchist, opposed to nation-states, capitalism, neoliberalism, the United States, the British Empire, Israel, Joe Biden, "Ka-MAH-la" Harris, transphobia in Western societies . . . the usual suspects. Frequently, especially in the back half of the video, she'll wander off into long fantasias about the crimes against liberty perpetrated by the West at large, as well as their character Capitalism, and then remember that this is supposed to be a video about Zionism, and then finish with the equivalent of "Peter Rabbit did sort of that kind of thing, too."
One of the alleged purposes of this video is to discuss Antisemitism On The Left, but Gender . . . pretty much elides doing that. She gets close a couple of times, and she does grudgingly admit that some leftists coming from some branches of leftism might sometimes say things that might be antisemitic, and that's Bad, and it makes Jewish people feel Unsafe and Not Inclined To Agree With Leftists that The Dragon Known As Zionism Must Be Slain Heroically. But don't stress about it. The important thing is that Israel Must Stop Its Genocide and Palestinians Should Have Self-Determination (which is only withheld from them by Israel -- excuse me, by Zionism -- and certainly not by those eminently-justified-if-a-little-uncouth plucky fighters, Hamas.
There are quite a lot of lengthy quotes from Sources, read by guest stars, which is a nice touch to break up the video. The vast majority of these Sources -- especially the ones in the "history of Zionism" segment -- are not actually written by Zionists. You get a lot of academic pontificating about the failures, shortcomings, and nefarious activities of Zionism, but you hear almost nothing from actual Zionists, especially contemporary Zionists. This does not look nearly as good or as well-researched as it's meant to look.
So what do we get in the end, after four hours and seventeen minutes of watching this? Honestly . . . not much. Gender gives enough background on the history of Zionism, antisemitism, and Jewish attitudes toward Israel that hardcore leftists watching will be more annoyed than convinced. She condescends to both Jews and Arabs, mentioning repeatedly that she, as a White Gentile, really doesn't have any business butting in on these complex questions -- but that's not going to stop her from butting in like the lefty shiksa she is! She's too mealy-mouthed to come right out and say anything blatantly antisemitic, but disdain for Jewish concepts of homeland, belonging, origin, and self-determination pervade the whole thing.
I don't think that Jessie Gender is an idiot -- she seems to be pretty smart, and has both a firm sense of her own political philosophy and the stick-to-it-ive-ness to do far more research into things like the development of Zionism and the history of antisemitism than one might expect. But the video really is, to bring up a playwright from the hated West, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
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hyuckmov · 1 year
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request #4 - himbo haechan
part 2! wc: 13.8k (yeah...) genre: fluff, smut (18+ minors dni), angst, himbo to fwb to lovers haechan warnings: mutual masturbation (kind of), sex over zoom call, softdom haechan and needy desperate haechan, mommy kink once, use of princess and angel and baby, fingering, unprotected fucking, overstim, haechan swears a lot, hair pulling, degradation/haechan likes pain and being humiliated, making love, nipple sucking, voice kink, thigh riding, haechan chokes and sucks on his own fingers, idk man a/n: i hope this is hot. i hope you feel this. i hope you like this. i don't know if this is my best work because i feel like the writing craft is so shoddy at times but idk... AS A PIONEERING HIMBO HAECHAN FIC, i hope this marks an important moment for the himbo haechan thinkers <3 thank you for waiting and thank you for supporting me. please let me know what you think and please be nice...
the first time you meet haechan, he doesn't exactly make a good impression. 
"what are you doing?" 
slowly, he lifts his head from where his lips were brushing your neck. "um…" blinking, his eyes refocus on yours. "trying to kiss you." 
"haechan!" you hiss. 
eyebrows raised, he beams back at you. "y/n!" he hisses back, imitating your tone. 
"i came here with someone else." you push his shoulder lightly, trying to make space between him and you but it's no use — his body slumps even harder, and you can see his eyes scanning your neck, zoning out of the conversation. 
"i know…" he mumbles, tracing a fingertip at your pulse point and making goosebumps erupt on your skin. 
"you do?" 
"yeah…" his other hand hovers in the air, as if he's deciding whether to grab your waist or press his palm to your lower back. 
"so you know i'm talking to someone right now, and it would be bad if i went around kissing my project partners...?" 
silence.
you dip your head slightly to try to look at him through his messy bangs, only to jolt slightly when you glimpse his expression. his eyes already half-lidded with lust, mouth hanging open and drool glistening on his plump lips. why did he look so…needy? fucked out? it had only been about a minute or so since you saw him walk towards you, the easy smile he kept on at full blast. you had exchanged small talk for about 10 seconds over your professor, and then he started nosing at the juncture between your jaw and your neck. 
"haechan?" you prompted, hesitantly. "everything okay?" 
"um...all's good," he mutters, before moving back towards you, lips puckered slightly and ready to mark your skin. 
spluttering, you push him away, again, confusion starting to settle in for you too. could he not take a hint? 
"were you even listening?" you ask, incredulously. "i said i'm talking to someone right now." 
"uh huh." he tilts his head to the side. "um, did you say something after that? sorry-" he breathes, wincing at the frustration on your face. "you just smell so good, i couldn't pay attention…" and as if he couldn't help himself, you noticed his body gravitate towards you, again. 
gripping onto his shoulder to keep him at a distance, you say slowly, "haechan, if i'm talking to someone, it wouldn't be good for me to mess around with other people." 
you see the words register in his head, see the furrow in his brow deepen as he ponders what you're saying. "it wouldn't?" 
"no, it wouldn't." 
"but you're not dating him yet." 
"no, i'm not." you see him open his mouth, so you quickly add, "but we're on our way, and i want to show him i'm serious about it." 
"but i'm serious about you." it was practically lazy – the way he pulled your hand off his shoulder and intertwined your fingers with his. 
you couldn't help the thrill that ran down your spine as you were reminded of how strong he was, even though he didn't necessarily look it. 
"serious about me or serious about fucking me?" you bite back. 
"both." 
you let out a scoff. unable to stop yourself, you blurt out, "are you used to women saying yes to you or something?"
"huh?"
"where do you get your confidence?" 
he raises his eyebrows at you in genuine concern as if you're the confused one in this conversation. "where do you think?" he makes a vague gesture to indicate his pretty face, and you're a little annoyed at how right he is. with heavy eye makeup, mismatched contact lenses giving his look a more piercing quality, moles tracing across his cheek just begging to be suckled with kisses and those heart-shaped lips…you think you would be hard pressed to find a woman in this room who would say no to his shameless flirting. 
"you shouldn't assume, haechan." something close to confidence begins to stir up in you, and you straighten, shaking your hand out of his. "it's not nice to kiss someone without asking them properly. you should always try to read the situation, and make sure you have consent." 
listening intently like a student in a classroom, he nods slowly to show he understands. "not nice, got it. anything else?" 
"don't try to steal people away from their dates," you add on, inspired.
"right."
"and don't say things like 'i'm serious about fucking you' if you don't really mean–" 
"-this is hot." he interrupts, words blurring together in a rush. his eyes unfocused and dreamy, he drags his gaze up and down your body indulgently. "you teaching me things." 
"hae-" 
"teaching me how to be a good boy…" he breathes. "yeah. fuck." 
your jaw drops, momentarily speechless. and yet, despite everything you were supposedly teaching him, his straightforwardness, the lack of filter, the raw desire that seemed to course through his entire body…you couldn't deny that it was making you feel a certain way too. 
fixing him with a look that conveyed as much seriousness and frustration you could muster, you shake your head.
 and he cowers. 
"sorry…" he mumbles, stepping away from you, almost ashamed. "i should've kept that to myself." 
you resist the urge to laugh. "yes, maybe you should have." 
turning to go, you pat him on the arm lightly, feeling a little bad for him. "see you around in class, okay?" 
he nods, eyes cast to the floor gloomily, and you're about to exit and head back to the main room when he calls your name. 
"y/n?"
"yes?" 
"i meant it." 
"what?" 
"i meant it when i said i was serious about fucking you." quietly, and with surprising gentleness, "i wouldn't lead you on like that. i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it." 
and as you turn your back on the pretty boy in the hallway, you couldn't help the butterflies that seemed to burst into life in your chest at his words.
x
the second time you meet haechan, you're explaining your assignment to him in class, and he’s looking at you like you hung the moon.
the third time, he keeps up an endless stream of compliments for you as he walks you back to your apartment to get ready for your date (with heavy insinuations that he could treat you better, the entire time). 
after that, you sort of lose count. from a name told to you by your professor, to the boy who couldn't seem to stand without your help at the party, he slipped into your life with no intention of leaving. 
"i'm frustrated because i WANT to fuck you-" 
no intention of leaving, no intention of changing, at all. 
his words come out louder than you expect, ringing out in the silence of the library. he's practically raising his voice, the aggravation plain and clear as his words escalate in pitch. embarrassingly, people studying at the adjacent tables start to look over at you two, drawn by haechan's distinctive tone of voice, wondering what the campus resident himbo-heartthrob could be saying. 
and he's still talking.
interrupting him with a loud shushing sound, you grab his arm and haul him out of his seat. he stumbles a little over his steps as he follows you obediently out of the library, the rant momentarily cut off. 
the moment the two of you burst out of the library doors, he's seizing you by your arms, his expression eager and delighted. 
"my place? i don't think my roommate's home, and there's this toy i want-" 
"lee haechan." your jaw drops. you seem to be doing a lot of that when you're around him. 
breathless, his eyes shine with delight. "yeah?" 
you almost don't want to ask. "why do you think i dragged you out of the library?" 
"you're ready to fuck right now?" his expression falls when he finally reads yours, taking in your stony glare and the hard set of your jaw. "oh. i did something wrong, didn't it?"
"haechan…" you can't decide what to start with. 
"wait, i'm sorry-" he blurts out, letting go of you. "i shouldn't have grabbed you…"
"you shouldn't have raised your voice in a library!" 
"i'm SORRY-" gulping, he tries to make his voice smaller. "i just got really excited…" 
"when you are in small spaces, you use your 'inside voice', okay?" 
"my…" he gulps. "inside voice?" 
"your inside voice means a volume level only meant for you," you point. "and me, the person you are talking to." you point at yourself. 
"why?" 
"do you want the whole library to know you want to fuck me?" 
"i don't mind." a beat. "wait, fuck- wrong answer. no, i don't." he shakes his head firmly. "no." 
"exactly." you let out a breath. "so please, the next time you want to have this discussion, make sure you're not announcing it for the entire student population, okay?" 
he opens his mouth, but then quickly shuts it. a blush beginning to spread across his cheeks, he buries his face in his hands, sweater covering his palms up to his fingers. 
you sigh. "what is it, haechan?"
"i don't want to say," he whispers. 
"why?" 
"you'll get really angry at me." chastised, he bites his lip. and then, quieter, "i'm sorry i embarrassed you."
"welll…you didn't really embarrass me,” you mumble. "haechan…"
a muffled sound. 
"am i actually just being really mean to you? you can be honest-" you add, seeing something flicker in his eyes as he removes his hands from his face. "i won't get mad." 
"you're kind of mean…" he hesitates. "but i really like it. because i know it means you care about me." 
your heart warms. 
"and also because i find it really hot," he continues, unabashedly. "like…a part of me wants to push you until you freak out on me. but also the other part of me just wants to be good for you, you know?" 
you stare at him. his hair falling lazily on his forehead, a breathless and windswept look to him as if his own desire was physically stealing his breath away from his lungs. you'd noticed before how his eyes were always watery with some sort of emotion, his long lashes gently tangling and untangling, meeting his blushy skin. his pouty lips… forming your name. 
"fuck…i should have kept that to myself, right?" he tilts his head, blinking purposefully at you. "y/n?" 
you clear your throat. "it's fine." another pause, as you wonder how you can draw the conversation back to something less intimate, because the way he's looking at you — as if he wants to dive into your soul just by looking into your eyes, — was making you regret ever dragging him out of the library. "um…" sex. talk about sex. "so…you were going to use a toy for our first time together?" 
caught off guard, he gapes at you, trying to recall where he let slip his plans for the night. "i…" he blinks. "how did you know? did i tell you?"
he's adorable. pressing on, you try to bring back the tone of defiance in your voice. "couldn't make me cum all by yourself? are you really that unconfident?" 
from the way he's tonguing the inside of his cheek, you know you've successfully switched the tone. "princess…" his voice is slow and patronising. "don't talk about things you don't understand." you don't think you've ever heard him speak like that, cockiness dripping from every syllable. is this the haechan that everyone else knew? 
"i don't-" 
"i saw the way you were looking at me just now…" eyes fluttering, he slouches closer to you and you back away on instinct. the movement makes him smile. "you think i'm pretty, just like everyone else does, hm?" 
it takes everything in you to roll your eyes, stepping further away from him as if it would break the spell. "you're so full of yourself." 
"and you like it." at the look on your face, he backpedals instantly, the confidence draining from him in an instant as he adjusts his bag on his shoulders. "right…sorry. you're still seeing someone." he doesn't even try to hide the bitterness in his tone.  
a moment passes.
"let's just… go get dinner," you suggest, lightly. he nods distractedly, hooking a hand around your bag strap and lazily tugging it onto his shoulder, something he likes to do for you. 
the walk to the restaurant is only a few minutes, and it's only when you reach that he speaks up again. 
"y/n?" 
"yeah?" 
"he….he makes you happy, right?" 
"huh?"
"the guy you're seeing." he swallows, fingers curling tighter around your bag unconsciously. "you're happy with him, right?" 
biting your lip, you nod slowly. "i guess."
if he can sense your hesitance, he doesn't press — body relaxing considerably as he nods to himself too. "then that's all that matters." 
and he reaches over to hold the door open for you, face bright and happy again as he patiently waits for you to enter first. 
x
haechan, 11.00pm: i hope you got a kiss today  you, 11.00pm: what haechan, 11.01pm: idk you just looked really pretty today and i really wanted to kiss you you, 11.01pm: so that's why you were looking at me like that  haechan, 11.01pm: yeah but i can't kiss you so  haechan, 11.01pm: i hope you got a kiss somehow…
haechan, 11.12pm: so did you?  you, 11.12pm: did i what? haechan, 11.12pm: did you get a kiss  haechan, 11.12pm: WAIT  haechan, 11.12pm: don't tell me  haechan, 11.12pm: i'll get sad you, 11.12pm: okay haechan, 11.12pm: okay what?  you, 11.13pm: okay, i won't tell you haechan, 11.13pm: fuck  haechan, 11.13pm: i want you so bad… you, 11.13pm: HAECHAN  haechan, 11.13pm: TYPO sorry sorry  you, 11.13pm: you can't typo a whole phrase haechan, 11.13pm: yes you can… i just did…
x
for someone who doesn't always know what he's talking about, haechan loves to talk. a lot. 
"you're going to sleep? already?" even in the low quality image on your phone screen, you can see the crestfallen look on his face. 
"we both have an early class tomorrow." 
"we can take turns sleeping in that class…like we did last week…" 
accusatorily, you jab a finger at your phone camera, causing his nose to scrunch in alarm as if you were really there, backing away from his screen. "you slept for a whole two hours that time!" 
"i-" sulking, he rolls over on his side, face half smushed against the bed. "i'll do better this time." 
"we can always talk tomorrow," you soothe, getting comfortable in your own bed and holding up your phone a little higher so the angle didn't look so bad on videocall.
although it was ridiculous, you couldn't help but feel insecure at how pretty he looked all the time, even when it was 2 in the morning and his voice was low and scratchy, or when he just woke up and his hair stuck out in all sorts of ways…his eyes never stopped sparkling in the terribly endearing way, his skin looking soft under the warm lights of his room. 
"but i want to talk to you now…" he says, softly. 
"okay…what about?" 
"i don't know…" still in the same soft voice that drives you crazy, he blinks tiredly at his screen. "anything…i guess…" 
"um…what did you have for dinner?" 
you can't help but let out a laugh when he whines loudly in annoyance "i mean deep stuff. stuff you wouldn't tell anyone else." 
"you think of something then!"
"wait-" a look passes over his face, you can literally see the idea hitting him, the flickering of a lightbulb over his head: he sits up, animated, and starts pulling his laptop onto his lap. "give me a second." he's typing furiously on his keyboard, nose scrunched in concentration. 
"you don't even type this seriously in class," you accuse, half-heartedly. when he doesn't respond, you raise your voice a little. "haechan? what are you doing?" 
"nothing." he turns his attention back to the phone screen, and beams at you with a brightness that catches you off guard. "just had an assignment that i forgot to submit." 
"um…okay…"
"but i have my ideas for the questions now-" he continues, his words coming out rushed from the blatant excitement in his tone. "so let's start." 
"why are you so…eager?" suspicious, you narrow your eyes at him playfully. "are the questions sex-related? you perv…" 
"no," he shakes his head vehemently, "i swear, they're not. i just…" and suddenly he's shy, biting at his puffy lips, and even in the dim glow of the room you can see the flush in his cheeks. "i just want to get to know you more…" 
"okay…" 
"okay, let's start." he clears his throat.
 "given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" 
"what the fuck?" you gape at him. out of all the things he could have asked you, there was no way you would have thought of this. "haechan, are you trying to get me to do some assignment for you?" 
"i'm genuinely curious-" he tries to defend himself, a hint of a whine making its way into his voice. "i mean, i can go first if you need more time to think…" 
"i don't think i've ever heard you use the word 'whom'." 
"now that's just mean…" pouting, his eyes go round and sad, and you can't tell if he's doing it on purpose, but when he nibbles on your lips you feel your breath catch in your throat. 
fuck. stumbling over your words, you rush, "uh…i can answer i guess." 
his eyes crinkle into a smile. "okay, who?" 
"um…probably that researcher guy who we're doing our assignment on. then i can just ask him all the questions and cite him as the source and we would be done."
"that's a good answer," he says, encouragingly. 
"okay…so who would you want as a dinner guest?" 
"you," he says, immediately. 
"haechan, this isn't going to be fun if your questions are all set up as lines…" 
"i'm serious…" and he is – there's no hint of any rehearsed expression on his face. "i only ever want to see you." and then, smiling, he shifts around happily on his seat on the bed. "okay! next question…" 
x
"what would constitute a perfect day for you?" 
"how many questions do you have?" 
"i don't know… i'm making these up as i go along," he shrugs. "so, what would constitute a perfect day for you?" 
you think about it, for a second. "i think my perfect day would be really simple, and everything would just go right. i would wake up early, there wouldn't be a queue at the cafe for breakfast, i get to class with my coffee-" 
"which class?" 
"uh… our class?" 
"okay, good," a small smile playing on his lips. "and then?" 
"and then…i can answer all your questions in class, and afterwards we go to the library and miraculously we can get something done…" you think back to a few evenings you've had where you've genuinely, really, been happy. "we get hotpot for dinner and we get a huge discount, and i go back home and fall asleep really easily." 
haechan is smiling so hard you want to ask him if his cheeks hurt. 
"what's so funny?" 
"it's funny…" he looks at you coyly. "that's my perfect day too." 
x
"number 10…" 
"motherfucker-" you sit up, startling haechan, who drops his phone. 
"wha-"
"you have a list of questions?" you wait for him to pick up his phone again before you point at the screen, savagely. you don't even have to look to know he's doing his cower again. "what happened to coming up with it as you go along? are these even your questions?" 
"y/n…" he shuffles around uncomfortably, picking at his bedspread. 
"how many questions are there in total?"
"36." his eyes widening, he backpedals. "actually, i don't know…um…it depends…" 
"i'm going to bed." 
"no we have to finish all 36 questions!" 
"we have to? why do we have to?" 
"please?" he looks up at you, and you should be used to it by now, used to the shifts in tone and the intensity of his emotions when his eyes meet yours, but still it makes your heart hammer a little harder every time. "please? i really just want to get to know you…" 
a pause. 
sighing, you lie back on your pillows again. "what's number 10?" 
x
"what roles do love and affection play in your life?" haechan lets out a yawn, rubbing his face against his comforter. 
the question wakes you up a little. you've kind of guessed that he was using a list of questions that would get increasingly intimate as they went on, but this one felt more direct than the others. and although so far you've been honest about everything, careless sometimes with your answer but never dishonest, you don't know how truthfully you should answer this time.
haechan blinks lazily at the screen. "um…" he rubs at his eyes, "i can go first. i think…love and affection are easy." 
the words feel like a punch to your gut. "really?" 
"yeah," he continues. "i mean, i'm affectionate with practically everyone i meet…and i'm not scared if i end up falling in love. i don't always know it when i'm in the moment…but i think i like how it feels," he adds, almost as an afterthought. 
"you like how what feels?" 
"being in love," he says, softly, looking at you with gentleness in his eyes. 
"but what if it doesn't end well?" you ask more for yourself than for him, and he answers as if it's the easiest thing in the world. 
"then it ends. but at least you were in love." tilting his head, he asks, "is it…not easy for you?" 
you can't find the words, so you shake your head. 
his brow furrows. "aren't you seeing someone right now?"
"yeah but i don't love him." he opens his mouth, so you add on quickly, "and he doesn't love me." 
"then you shouldn't be with him," he said, firmly.  things were always so simple when he outlined them. "you don't love each other, so you shouldn't waste your time together." 
"but he's not a bad person…" you have no idea why you're defending someone you don't even really care about. "he's generally nice to me…" 
"none of that matters if there's no love," he runs a hand through his hair, and that's when you realise that he's genuinely angry. "i didn't know you didn't love him. if i did, i would have talked to you about it ages ago…" 
"it's not so easy, haechan. it's not so easy to find someone who loves you back. sometimes, you just have to be grateful that someone is willing to spend time with you, grateful that they're not horrible-" 
he cuts you off with a frustrated sound. "i don't understand." rubbing his face with his hands, you hear him exhale shakily, the sound crackling in your earphones. 
"it's okay," you try to calm him, making your tone as light as possible. "these are just questions, right? we don't have to agree…" 
he settles down, but you can tell he's still lost in thought, his jaw clenched. "i guess." 
"which question are we on?" 
he checks his laptop screen. "21." 
"do you…want to keep going?" 
he nods, sighing one more time before focusing on you again. this time, you can tell he's managed to calm down, the gentleness returned to his demeanour. "i'm sorry. i'm really trying to understand what you mean, but maybe we're just different." 
"yeah…" affection and love did feel easy, even being friends with haechan. you think it's maybe become a part of your life that you couldn't live without — the little ways he took care of you, how he never hesitated to compliment you or defend you. "i want to be more like you, though." 
"huh?" 
"the thing about love and affection…" you mumble. "i want it to be as easy as it is for you." his eyes light up, and you hate how it immediately seems to lift a weight from your chest. 
x
it's strange that haechan's the one you turn to when things eventually fall apart. but at the same time, it makes perfect sense, because he's never once made you feel small for what you thought, or invalidated anything you've felt. 
you didn't even have to tell him. you had stumbled into class, numb from all your hurt, and the moment haechan raised his head to look at you, he just knew. 
"what's wrong?" he mouths, a look of pure fear in his eyes as he scans your surroundings, trying to figure out what could've done this to you. 
"i'll tell you later," you're barely able to whisper back as you slide into your seat next to him, eyes already filling with tears at how easy it was for haechan to read you. your heart warming from the urgency in his tone.
without hesitation, he leans over far in his seat to squeeze you into a hug. his lips ghosting over the crown of your hair, you can hear the worry in his voice even as he tries to reassure you. 
for the next 2 hours, he casts worried glances over at you, taking in the way you're barely listening, fingers ghosting over your keyboard and typing nothing. the lecture barely ends before he's reaching over to pack up for you, clumsy hands shuffling your papers into your folder the way he knows you like them, shouldering your backpack as he tugs you gently towards the door and out into the sun. 
he leads you to a quiet place on campus, and if you were a little less focused on yourself, you'd wonder if this was where he usually took his dates to kiss them. it's secluded and private, soft grass underneath your shoes as he guides you to a bench under a tree, sliding into a seat next to you and taking your hand in his immediately. 
on one of your study sessions together, the two of you had taken a love language quiz, and it was no surprise when his top love language showed up as physical touch, while yours showed up as words of affirmation. 
tears are slipping down your cheeks, and he pulls you into his arms — a gesture more for him than you but you melt into his touch all the same. his palms clumsily pat between your shoulder blades, his touch heavy as he strokes down your spine, rubbing at your shoulders as you try to stop from shaking. 
"do you want to talk about it?" he murmurs, eyes wide and concerned.
briefly, you consider not telling him, the thought of having to materialise everything with your words too painful to bear. but his voice was so gentle, his touch so soothing, that you feel he at least deserved to know why you were crying in his arms like this. 
"h-he took me to the party to make her jealous." 
his movements still. 
"i knew we didn't love each other…but i thought…i thought at least…he must've liked something in me, right?" 
he's at a loss for words as you cry harder into his shirt. 
"you don't have to say anything…" you reassure him. "i know it's stupid. i didn't even like him anyway, it just hurts my pride to think he never saw anything in me." 
"it's not stupid," he says, firmly. "you rejected me at that party for him, right? you've been rejecting me for weeks because of him." 
you nod into his chest. 
"you're not stupid." he declares. "he's the one who's wrong." and there it is again — the simplicity, the way everything was black and white with him. he was completely and wholly on your side, his hand diligently going back to stroke your hair, dipping his fingers to rub circles into the nape of your neck. 
"i'm surprised you're not being inappropriate right now." 
he doesn't respond at first, but his movements falter again. 
"i just really don't like seeing you hurt," he says, quietly. 
"oh." 
"wait, don't get me wrong, i think you look very pretty when you cry," he adds, sincerely. it makes you laugh, a little bit of the haechan you first met coming back. but he mistakes it for disbelief, tripping over his words to make you understand, raising his voice. "you really are, and you sound so pretty too-" 
wrapping your arms around his middle, you lean into his touch, smiling into the fabric of his shirt. "thanks, haechan." 
"it's just that…i don't like thinking that someone made you feel like this. it makes me feel…" his palm moves down to hold the side of your face delicately, fingers moving over your cheeks as he chooses his words. "it makes me feel really helpless. it reminds me i can't stop people from hurting you." 
his voice is small, and you can barely catch his words, but you feel like you've been slammed in the chest. you hesitate, wondering if you should press him further.
"why?" 
"what do you mean?" 
"why does it make you feel helpless?" 
he huffs, frustrated. "because it does." 
he runs a hand through his hair as he rambles on. "i don't know why i don't like seeing you hurt. or why i don't like the idea of your shoulders being sore like mine are so i carry your things around for you everywhere. i don't know why i want to mark your neck but i don't ever want to see you bruised, or how i want to fuck you so badly, but also sometimes i get this feeling like… like i don't want to fuck you, i just –" he cuts himself off with a groan, tugging at his long hair desperately.
you don't reply. you can't trust your voice. 
so you ease yourself out of his hold, which had gotten increasingly tight. with a hand, you guide his hands down from his hair and into yours, and bring your other palm up to touch his face. he goes limp at your touch, leaning into you like you were the only thing keeping him upright.
"why am i telling you this?" he whispers, eyes never leaving yours. 
"haechan-"
"you must think i'm pathetic." you feel his tears on your hand, hot and wet, before his breathing starts to pick up and soft whimpers rise from his throat. 
"don't say that." 
"i mean you," he gasps, words coming out in stuttered sounds. "y-you were the one who needed me to c-comfort you, and n-now i'm the one crying, and i…" he lets out a low sound, emotions overwhelming him all at once. "i really want to hurt the guy who made you feel like that." 
"haechan…" 
"where does he live? it'll only take 5 minutes i swear…" he swallows, hard. "i could take him in a fight, i saw him at the party…" 
"you're not going to get reported to campus police for him. he's not worth it." but you can tell your words are getting lost on him, his hands shaking as he fumbles them out of your grip, trying to intertwine your fingers. 
"i just need to do s-something right now," he breathes, hard. "anything. it hurts so bad, y/n. why does it hurt so much for me?" 
something about this — about him, calms you. the pain from before fading into a dull ache, and a new feeling swelling in your chest as you look at the boy in front of you. the feeling of being needed by someone grounding you, affection roaring in your ears as he leans into your touch, watching you like he was trying to decipher the thoughts buzzing like static in your mind. 
"take me home, haechan." 
he blinks up at you. 
"i want to go home," you whisper. 
and, drawing you into his arms, he does exactly that. 
he picks up your favourite ice cream on the drive home, and stays glued to your back on the elevator ride up. coddling you and cooing praises in your ear, tucking you into bed and drawing up a chair next to you as if you were ill. you ignore the fact that this was the first time you were indulging in his touch and it felt so right, the fact that he cried just because you did, for reasons he claimed not to know and you didn't want to admit. 
but as you watched him move around in your kitchen, putting away dishes from the dinner he made you — his broad frame stretching out his shirt, shoulder blades sharp under the warm light, you were met with the sinking feeling that the boy who was just out to fuck you might be out for something far worse.  
x
"i'm not setting you up with him," haechan's words come out in a blur. "okay? we're just walking to the party together." 
"yes, i'm aware of that. how many more times are you going to repeat this to me?" 
"haechan, why are you still hiding me behind your back?" 
"this is NOT a set-up!" he hisses, veins in his arms popping out as he keeps a firm grip on his friend, you presume, keeping him out of your sight. "i do NOT want you to like him, okay?" 
"okay haechan, i get it."
he looks at you, suspicious, but finally releases his hold, arms crossing over his chest instead as he scowls. "fine. y/n, this is my friend renjun." 
looking a little dishevelled, and very annoyed, renjun steps out from behind haechan. "hey." his face breaks into a sweet smile when he sees you, eyes brightening with recognition. "wait…were you in that statistics course from last semester?" 
"yeah i was! were you the one who did the project on social psychology? i thought it was so smart…"
"i had a lot of help with it," he beams back. "actually, i have more resources on the topic if you'd like them." 
"SHE DOESN'T WANT TO FUCK YOU." 
haechan's voice abruptly booms out in the middle of the street, making you and renjun jump. the handful of people passing by turn their heads to look at your trio, making shame burn low in your stomach as you wince apologetically. haechan's face is flushed, hands curled into fists by his side, a glare fixed upon renjun as if he were his worst enemy.
"haechan!" you whisper, annoyed. "did we not practice using our inside voice?" 
"fuck the inner voice!" he hisses back at you with equal venom, tugging you closer to him and away from renjun. his face screwed up, he jabs a finger at him. "she's not gonna fuck you dude. lay off her." 
renjun is looking back and forth between you and haechan, a knowing look settling onto his face as he meets haechan's frown with an easy smile. 
"don't worry about it, man. she's all yours." 
"yeah, that's right, she's mine," haechan repeats, savagely, before the words coming out of his mouth seem to take him by surprise. confused, he looks over at you, trying to figure out what exactly he just said. "wait…fuck i mean…um…"
"you know what? i'm going to go ahead first," renjun interrupts, giving you a small wave. "see you at  jaemin's."
"YEAH, GO AWAY RENJUN." 
"sorry," you mumble, now trying to free yourself from haechan's tight grip on your arm which he doesn't even seem to be aware of. 
"word of advice," renjun mutters to you, pointedly ignoring the way haechan was hissing at him. "pull on his hair. it shuts him up real fast." 
it's when you finally manage to pry his fingers off of you when haechan is brought back down to earth, throwing a venomous look at renjun's retreating back as he lets go of you reluctantly. 
you round on him. "well?" 
"w-well what?" he mumbles, looking away, acting out a textbook portrayal of guilty.  
you narrow your eyes at him, and some part of you is happy to see him gulp in fear like he usually does. "what do you have to say for yourself?" 
"i'm not the problem here," he mutters. "it's renjun. he's such a sleaze."
"renjun? a sleaze?" you laugh before you can stop yourself. "you're more of a sleaze than he is on a regular day." 
"ME?" he bursts out, head snapping to you. at least this time, the people in your vicinity seem to be used to the outbursts, and they don't bother to turn to look. "I'M NOT…that's not…" and then he's whipping out his phone, biting his lip in concentration, eyebrows drawn close together as he scrolls through whatever's he's looking at.
you sigh. "haechan, what are you doing?" 
"immoral…corrupt…sordid…" he raises his voice again. "fuck google definitions. why is it that none of these words mean what i think sleaze means?" 
"could you not change the subject?" you start, but he talks over you. 
"yeah," he emphasises, viciously. "you're right. see, i just wanted to expand your social circle, it's not my fault renjun was making eyes at you," 
"he wasn't-" 
"he was about to invite you over,"
"did you hallucinate-"
"that's so…so insensitive, like couldn't he just take a hint? and you were wearing your fuck-me skirt today-"
"i do NOT have a fuck-me skirt-"
"no it's a fuck haechan skirt that's what it is, because whenever i see you in it i-"
"will you shut up?" annoyed, you reach around to the back of his neck, and tug harshly on his long hair, really hoping to make it hurt. 
you expect him to stop talking, maybe cry out in pain. 
you're not expecting his knees go weak as he lets out an achy, high-pitched moan that shudders through his entire body.
x
"hey, haechan's quiet today!" jaemin points out, cheerfully. "y/n, could you pass me the pepper?" 
putting on a smile, you pass the shaker over to him. "we had an argument on the way here, that's probably why." 
"you two should fight more," jaemin says, before taking a sip of his soup. "dinner's almost over and he's barely made a sound."
renjun just smiles to himself.
"what. the fuck." 
haechan's still gasping for breath, and when you raise your hand absentmindedly, his arms shoot up quickly to protect his head. "don't-!" 
"i'm not going to do it again." 
"okay good." his arms fall to his side, before he's looking at you with a mixture of sadness and wistfulness. "wait…like…never?" 
you narrow your eyes. 
"y/n, can you come with me please?" haechan is looking at you urgently, leg bouncing as he tugs on your sleeve. "i want to talk to you in private." 
sighing, you excuse yourself from the table, letting haechan tug you away from the living room and into what looks like an empty guest room.
clicking the door shut, he sits down on the bed, patting the space next to him impatiently to get you to join him. 
"what's wrong?" 
"i want to ask you something." there's a sincerity in the way he reaches takes your hand, his voice steady, and calm, and sure. 
"okay…" 
"i've been good this past week, right?" he watches your face closely, looking for an answer. "like…i wanted to show you i care, and i wanted to take care of you and help you forget…your breakup…" 
"you've been really good to me, haechan," you affirm quietly. because he has. 
"and i've kept my thoughts to myself," he adds. "because…you told me to do that…" 
"yeah."
"do you…" he struggles with the words. "do you want me to keep…keeping my thoughts to myself? like, does it make you really uncomfortable…" he looks like he's in physical pain, brows furrowed in concentration.
"no, it doesn't…" you admit, feeling a little exposed. 
"what about…so if…" he twists at his fingers. "so if i…made a move…like the first time we met at the party…would you…?" 
"i think i would." looking away, feeling that the room was suddenly burning hot, you mumble out, "so you don't have to worry about holding back or-"
"-good, because i've been hard ever since you pulled on my hair." 
he's getting that look again, lips parted and swollen. he slides a hand around your waist, the weight of his body leaning on yours feeling all too familiar. only this time, there was no one and nothing you could put between yourself and the raw need that was in every fibre of his being. always brutally honest about how much he wanted you, looking at you with eyes that could swallow you whole. and now that there was no one else, you were free falling right into him.
your voice is scratchy with nerves. "do you want me to do it again?" 
"to be very honest, it kind of kills the mood when you ask," he mumbles, now pressing the pads of his fingers under your shirt and into your soft skin. 
laughing, you slide your hands up his neck and into his hair again, relishing in the way his body tenses and his breaths start to come shallow and fast. curling your fingers around the strands, you pull on them softly, increasing in pressure as he throws his head back. 
"fuck," he pants, hands moving quickly now, tugging at the hem of your shirt. "wanted this since the day i saw you." 
well at least he's honest. hesitating slightly, you grasp his wrists gently to stop his movements. "haechan…you know this is me giving you permission right?" 
"huh?" his eyes cloudy, he struggles slightly against you, hands still trying to reach for your skin. "i mean…yeah…"
"so after this, we'll figure something out?" you look at him hopefully, trying to meet his eyes which were currently darting around, scanning your body haphazardly. until you let out a gasp, because somehow he's overpowered you — pushing you onto the bed roughly, his hands now gripping your wrists and holding them above your head with one hand, the other resting heavy on your hip. 
"you talk too much," he says, lowly. swiftly pressing his lips to the side of your neck, he bites down on your shoulder next, and you hiss at the sting. in retaliation, you manage to release one of your hands from his grip, giving his hair a sharp tug — making him rut his hips into yours. 
"me? what about you?" you tease, breathless as he grinds into you, "with all your talk…all your thoughts, i kind of expected more…but you're whining and we've barely touched."
at that, he stills. 
he still has you pinned down by his weight on your torso, and above you, you can see the way his eyes darken, wheels in his head turning. 
"you're right," he says, quietly. releasing your hands, he crawls off of you to kneel on the bed by your feet, rough hands pulling at his belt. 
"r-right…about what?" now he wasn't lying on you, you felt a coldness travel through your body, making you crave his touch. sitting up to look at him, you swallow as he kicks off his pants. 
he wasn't lying about being hard. his cock looked thick and heavy in his palm as he squeezed his shaft, letting out a sigh. 
"haechan, what are you doing…?"
spitting in his hand, he starts tugging at his cock, slow and teasing strokes as he shifts his hips around in pleasure, settling his weight back on his heels as he hums. 
you place your hands on his thighs, shifting towards him, but with a speed and agility you rarely saw he grabbed both your wrists in his free hand, holding on to them tightly so you couldn't shake free. "you don't get to touch," he gasps, another moan ripping from his throat as his fingers press into his slit. 
"haechan," alarmed, you try to crawl over to him but his grip on your wrists holds you at a distance, pushing you back. the sounds he's making go straight to your core, high-pitched moans, drawn out and achy, gulping gasps of air between each one as if he was struggling to breathe. his hand speeding up, moving like a blur, swivelling his wrist and thumbing at a spot just below the blunt pink tip. precum dribbling out all over his hand as he starts to thrust his hips into the circle of his fist. 
"please," you rub your thighs together, pain and pressure building up in your core. his eyes, half-lidded and sultry, slide over to you almost lazily. 
"wait your turn, princess," he groans, mocking you with a whiny "ah…ah-" at the end. 
you're so frustrated you could cry. 
his whines and whimpers escalate in pitch, broken gasps and pants filling the air, and you can't wait for him to cum so it'll be your turn…
except suddenly he's letting go of his cock, a groan rumbling through his chest as it slaps up against his lower belly. 
a beat.
"did you like the show?" 
"you didn't cum," you mumble, dumbly. 
"i didn't think you deserved to see that yet." he releases your wrists. "see, that was your punishment." 
"for?" 
"for rejecting me for over a month even though i knew you wanted it." effortlessly pulling you into his lap, he smiles as he guides a hand under your skirt, rubbing your inner thigh with his sticky fingers. "sometimes when you look at me…i just know you're dripping wet in your panties."
"i'm not-"
"should we check?" he pulls at the seat of your panties, swiping his fingers on your folds. your thighs clamp shut on his hands, sensitive, and he laughs. "thought so." 
he traces light touches on your clit, alternating between rubbing circles and stroking gently. he brushes his fingers over your entrance and you crumble, grinding into his hand as you try to manoeuvre your hips closer to where his cock lies against his tummy. 
"so cute," he murmurs, pushing a careful finger into you, smiling to himself when you let out a soft moan. stroking against your walls, he adds another, starting to stretch you out as you rock your hips into his. his nose nuzzles at your neck, and you discover that all those times he's spent analysing the juncture between your jaw and your shoulder have paid off, because he finds your sweet spot in record time, his puffy lips mumbling against your skin and making you shake all over. 
"you're going to have to be a little quieter, baby," he says, gently. "don't want them hearing you outside." he adds another finger, humming delightedly at how you suck them in. 
"you-" you gasp, "but you were so, fuck, loud just now…"
"i don't care if they hear me." he starts fucking his fingers into you, thrusting them in and out of your core with loud wet sounds, his thumb applying pressure to your clit that makes your thighs tremble. "i know i sound good. you should record me next time, baby." 
your brain has gone foggy. this is the haechan that still pushed at the pull door to your lecture hall, the one you've been going to for almost half a year. this is the haechan who hid behind his hands when you would get mad at him, then would beg for you to keep going, i'm memorising this for later. 
this was the haechan…who was currently moaning softly in your ear, a sound so saturated with lust that it takes your breath away, and makes you release all over his hand. 
x
as it turns out, haechan isn't really into edging unless he wants to make a point. 
he's far more interested in overstimulation, as he makes you cum 3 times on the guest room bed. and he cums twice himself from fucking you. 
with intense concentration, he cleans up for you and tucks you into bed, worried eyes making sure you're okay. when he watches the way you walk, unsteadily, to turn off the light, he slides to his knees and freckles kisses all over your thighs and hips, murmuring apologies into your skin, torn between gloating and grovelling. 
"jaemin's okay with us staying," he whispers into the dark. and then, with unfiltered dreamy happiness… "i'm so happy i'm going to wake up next to you tomorrow."
your heart melts and dissolves as you reach for him, nuzzling into his chest. it's because you're so close that you hear the rumble of his sigh through his chest. "haechan?"
"hm?" 
"i don't want to confuse you…" 
pause. and then, quietly, "you always say that before you confuse me."
you sit up, his arms falling to your waist. 
"haechan…" 
"you look like an angel," he looks at you through his lashes, doll-like features pretty in the moonlight. when he realises he's caught you off guard, he continues, his drowsy, honeyed voice low and soothing, hypnotic as he appeals to you. "go to sleep, angel. i'll fuck you awake in the morning, i promise…" 
"don't try to seduce me, haechan. i want to talk about this." 
"worth a shot," he mumbles. "look, i don't know if you think i'm joking when i tell you i want you," his eyes flicker to the sheets as he tries to outline his thoughts. "but i already promised since day 1 that i wasn't leading you on." he sighs when you still look unconvinced.
"tell me what you're thinking, angel." he reaches for your hand, and presses a small kiss on your palm, guiding your fingers to cup his face. "give me a hint."
"question 21," you remind him. 
love and affection. understanding blooms on his face.
"what about it?" 
"i'm scared," you confess. 
"what are you scared of, angel?" he tilts his face to the side but his eyes never leave yours. "you want me, and i…and i…" he sits up a little so he can pull you down to him. you think you kissed him just now, but this one feels like the first time — his mouth moving gently on yours, suckling on your lip, his tongue gently slipping into your mouth, and the light sigh he lets out like he just tasted something sweet. he kisses you like he's just realised he has all the time in the world to, with no urgency, only the sweet indulgence of a boy who finally has what he wants right in his arms. 
"don't be scared," he whispers into your mouth when you break apart. "i'm serious about you."
"serious about me or serious about fucking me?" you ask, timidly. 
haechan looks up at you, the angel in his bed, and takes in the tension in your shoulders, the way you're holding your breath. 
if haechan was bad at homework, bad at assignments and impressing his professors, bad at reading the room and keeping his voice under control, there were things he was good at from experience. 
like how to tilt his face to showcase the pretty moles on his skin, how to pitch his voice like it was straight out of a filthy dream, and how to read people's body language to know what they wanted. how to read you.
"serious about whatever you're ready for," he says, gently. "affection, or love."
a moment passes. then another. then another. 
"haechan?" 
"yes?" 
"were you serious about fucking me awake tomorrow morning?"
x
"haechan, this is really, really bad." 
"i know." he exhales shakily, the sound amplified through your laptop speakers. "fuck, shit, i know." 
leaning forward to look at your laptop screen, you swipe back to the open tab you have of the document for your project. "how did you delete everything? and why can't it be restored?" 
"i don't-" a muffled choking sound. "i don't know." 
"i don't even want to tell you to stop crying," you say bitterly. "cry harder. it won't fix this." 
a strangled sound, barely audible over the music playing on his end. 
you swipe back to your zoom call with haechan. ever since you started giving in to haechan's relentless begging, it's been a lot harder for both of you to focus on your assignment. 
specifically, the number of times he's fingered you in the library or fucked you on his lap in his desk chair were now too many to count. 
so you've resorted to meeting up over video-call, using your laptops to provide a greater sense of occasion and to make it clear that these were meetings to do work. so far, they've been working out fine, but today he joined the call with his camera turned off, and only a guilty, shaking, voice told you to check the google drive, and please don't be mad. 
"so?" you don't bother to hide your anger, or to coddle him like you usually would. "are you going to fix this?" 
"dunno…" he gasps, whimpering when you roll your eyes. "dunno…fuck…dunno how…"
you tilt your webcam so you can really look into it, hoping that it's making him feel worse. judging by the wail he lets out, it does. 
"turn on your camera so i can see you," you snap. "and turn off the music. i want to hear you cry."
a muffled, guttural, sound. 
"really?" he sniffles, a loud sob crackling like static out of your speakers. "you w-want to…t-to see me…c-cry?" 
"don't play mind games with me, lee haechan," you warn. "i'm really fucking mad at you." 
"y-yeah?" he gulps, and you can hear it. 
"i'm so mad i could hit you right now." and you hear a sound of pain, a strangled cry ripping from his throat. 
"i wannit," he groans. "want you to hit me."
"forgot you were a masochist," you grumble, sarcastically. "how are you still in the mood to make jokes like that when we're going to fail?" 
he's panting, and a part of you starts to worry. is he hyperventilating? "i dunno, i'm sorry-" he gasps, voice raising in pitch. 
"haechan?" the anger hasn't completely faded from your voice. you're met with a hiccup, cut off by a wracking sob. switching tact, you make your voice go gentle, babying him the way you usually do to get him to do anything right. "turn off the music and turn on the camera for me."
he's still breathing heavily as you hear the sounds of fumbling, his phone falling to the floor as it disconnects from his speaker. silence fills the call, a tension so thick in the air as he pants into his microphone, and you hear his hands skid across the keyboard. 
you freeze when he turns on the camera. 
the background is different from your usual work calls. you see the headboard of his bed, an array of pillows propped up behind him as he slouches against them. but unlike your usual late-night calls, the laptop isn't balanced on his knees so that you can only see his face. 
its on the bed between his legs, giving you a full picture of his tear streaked face, the beautiful skin of his upper body, the jumping muscles in his thighs, and his thick weeping cock held in his veiny fist. 
he moans when he sees himself on camera, resuming his movements and watching himself carefully through tear-soaked eyelashes. 
"what the fuck?" you whisper, and he lets out a whiny sob, hand moving faster over his length. 
"what the hell is wrong with you?" your voice grows stronger as you watch his other hand close around his neck, choking back his sounds. "what the fuck?" his hand is dragging up his neck, he's slipping his fingers into his mouth and sucking on them, drool dripping down his wrist. "lee haechan!" you press your thighs together, trying not to let the scene get to you, but it was no use.
"love it when you-" he gasps, hips bucking into his hand. "get mad at me. i told you…ah, ah…you're so fucking hot when you're mad." he wipes the drool off his chin messily, and reaches down to stroke himself with both hands. 
"you're unbelievable," you snap, feeling your own hands drift to your thighs.
"and i…and i kept this thought to myself…" he moans, hand ghosting over his nipple as he whimpers. "but i always thought you looked like a camgirl when we call like this."
"yeah?" fuck it. you give in, crossing over to your bed. feigning indifference, you place the laptop on your sheets in front of you as you settle down and shrug off your sweatpants, grateful you had chosen to wear the white lace panties he liked. 
"mmhm," he hasn't noticed you yet, his head thrown back and eyes closed. "i came when you tilted the camera down…wanted see your tits so bad…" 
"if i was a camgirl, would you watch?" you slip your hand into your panties and let out a sigh, watching his cock twitch in his palm. missing the weight of it in your hand, on your thigh, and in you. 
"fuck yeah." 
"then why aren't you watching, baby?"
he moves so fast it's almost comical — eyes shooting open, he straightens to look at his laptop screen. the moment he sees you with your hand between your legs, panties so wet they were transparent, he cums, hard, thick globs of white cum oozing out of his tip as his legs tremble and a fresh wave of tears roll down his cheeks, his mouth falling open as he lets out a series of moans reminiscent of the filthiest hentai porn. 
"was that your second time, hm?" you moan, the sight of him making you rub against your clit even faster, your hips rocking into your hand. 
"third," he squeezes his cock again, pain darting across his face as he releases it, letting it soften against his thigh. "y/n… take them off please…"
"take what off?" you push a finger into you, sliding your other hand up your top to graze your nipples under your camisole. he whimpers at the sight. 
"everything…" his eyes cloudy and desperate, his cheeks flushed so read you'd be worried he was running a fever. "wanna see you…" 
you're focused completely on your own pleasure, your heart soaring to see him so completely fucked out before you. 
"haechan…" you try to keep your voice under control, try to hide that you were close. you just wanted to see how far he'd go. "if you're my baby boy, then what should you call me?" you pinch your nipples, letting out a gasp. the sheets feel silky against your skin as your legs kick in pleasure, your hand still working in between your legs.
haechan's breathing picks up. when you look down at your screen, he's touching himself again, squeezing the base of his cock. his mouth falls open as you see his lashes flutter, rolling back into his head as he mouths the words. 
whimpering, his lip wobbles as he looks at you on the screen. 
"mommy," he moans, again and again, until you both climax, and you're no longer sure if he's saying it for you or himself.
x
haechan takes your words to heart. like, he really takes your words to heart. 
when you tell him off-handedly that leather jackets look good on him, he buys 3 of the same and never wears any other jacket again. when you painstakingly teach him how to add a footnote to his document, he scrawls the steps down on a post-it and nudges you for validation each time he finishes a page, blinking at you like a puppy needing a treat. which is why he treats his rom-com watching sessions with you very seriously. 
"so it's bad that he didn't ask her out properly?" 
"yes," you nod, enthusiastically. "really bad. he shouldn't assume that she's interested and just act like he has a place in her life now — he has to earn it." 
"right, yeah, fuck him," he growls, scrawling on his notebook. 
you peek over at what he's doing — he's added 'not officially asking her out' on the 'no' list. 
"are you sure the double negative won't confuse you?" 
"the what?"
"nevermind." 
reaching for the popcorn, you peer at the screen. "oh, and that's a good thing." 
"where?" his head shoots up, and he squints at the screen. "what?" 
"see, he asked 'can i kiss you'?' playfully, you glare at him. "you rarely ask for anything." 
"that's not true…" he grumbles. "i asked you if i was making you uncomfortable…" 
"yeah, that was one time…" 
"i asked if i could eat you out last wednesday…" 
"that wasn't asking that was sweet-talking." 
"well can we fuck now?" he blurts out. running a hand through his hair, he tosses his notebook to the side. 
a pause. 
"well?" he raises his eyebrows. 
"uh, okay…"
"was that asking or sweet-talking? oh-" and for some reason, he blushes when he registers your response. "you said yes." 
fuck. "yeah, i guess." you place the popcorn down on the bedside table, feeling shy.
"well, as you wish, princess," he whispers conspiratorially, crawling over to you to pull you in for a kiss. 
"see," you mumble against his lips. "you didn't ask…"
"oh, fuck, yeah sorry." breaking away from you, he wipes his lips on the back of his hand. "re-do, re-do. um…" he lowers his head. 
"okay you don't have to re-do it i was just pointing it out…" 
"can i kiss you, angel?" 
you freeze.
he really was too pretty for his own good, his hair falling over his eyes, the ethereal flush to his cheeks. 
"yes, please," you mumble, and he surges towards you, pressing his tongue into yours and running his electric touch down your spine. 
"can i take your clothes off, angel?" 
you murmur your consent as he smiles wide, helping you out of your clothes but lightly slapping your hands away when you reach to do your bra. 
"this is my favourite part," he sighs, as he unhooks the clasps from behind your back, hooking a careless finger around a strap and pulling the lacy piece off of you, wetting his lips when he sees your breasts. 
"can i suck on your boobs?" 
"god, haechan-" he giggles as he takes one in his mouth, teeth lightly grazing on it from his smile. his hand comes up to the other one and he ghosts his touch over it, before deciding better and squeezing it roughly in his palm. 
kissing down your stomach, he reaches the band of your panties with a smile. 
"are you going to ask if you can take them off, haechan." 
"i was gonna ask if i could eat you out," he murmurs against your skin, kitten licking your inner thighs and sending chills up your spine. 
swallowing hard, you nod. "yes." 
nosing at your clothed clit, he sucks the seat of your panties into his mouth, lips puckered in an adorable way if he wasn't literally trying to suck it off your skin. 
"haechan…you can take them off," you say, weakly, feeling heat pool in your navel. 
"mmhm…" he says, both hands winding around your thighs to grip onto the fabric of your panties. "or i could do this." with one harsh movement he's ripping them off of you, holding the pieces of cloth in his hands gleefully as he plunges forward and sucks harshly on your folds.
"haechan," you half-moan, half shout. "why did you do that…" 
"i'm sorry, baby," he flattens his tongue and laps at you, flicking his tongue against your clit. "i'll buy you new sets, i'll buy you as many sets as you want…" stiffening his tongue, his prods at your entrance and tries to reach as far into you as he can, licking at your walls, his nose bumping into your clit as he tilts his head this way and that. 
the pleasure increases tenfold when he starts moaning, and you finally come to your senses enough to see how he's humping the bed, his hips moving in time with the way he was licking at you. "taste so sweet," he moans. "cum on my face, angel. fuck…" he whines obscenely, hips moving faster against the sheets as he shoves two fingers into you, making your back arch. "can you cum for me?" 
you let your orgasm crash into you, the pleasure burning through you and making you go lightheaded. haechan is whimpering and moaning, and you realise you have your hands tangled in his hair, tugging him away from your core and making his neck crane up. you almost let go before you remember that he likes it, so you pull a little harder and watch the way his hips stutter against the bed, achy moans filling the air as he cums. 
"sorry," he gasps, "fuck, sorry…" he crumples into your arms. "it felt so good…i couldn't help myself." 
"it's okay…" you still when you feel something prod at your entrance. "haechan-" but you're cut off by a loud moan, as haechan pushes his softening cock into you. "haechan, are you sure-"
"hurts," he moans. "but it'll feel better soon, it'll feel…fuck fuck fuck," his hips moving in an uneven rhythm, as if he can't decide whether to stop or go harder. "just a bit more…" he mumbles to himself. 
deciding to help him, you smooth your hands down his chest and wrap your legs around him. he loves it when you cling to him during sex, he's told you openly, and he bites back another sigh as the pain seems to dissipate into raw pleasure again. 
"just a bit more, baby," you murmur in his ear. he hiccups, nodding as he starts to pound into you in earnest, slapping sounds echoing in the room as his cock abuses the one spot inside you that makes you see stars. stretched out and filled by him, you rock your hips into his too, feeling his thick cock bulge inside you.
"can i cum in you, please?" he asks, softly, painfully. from where he lies on top of you, his brow glistening with sweat and his eyes watery from the overstimulation, you could never say no to him. he cums when you do, the feeling of your walls clenching around him being too much to bear, and he slumps in your arms, hips still pulsing against yours until you physically push him and he slips out of you.
haechan takes your words to heart. when you tell him to ask for permission, he does it throughout aftercare — asking for permission to run you a bath, to make you tea, to pull you closer in bed. and as you let his eyes meet yours, his gaze seeping into your pupils and making your mind go hazy, you wonder if he takes your words so seriously that he'll never consider moving from the affection you asked for, to the love you were too scared to want.
x
"did you forget something at my place?" 
"no." a pause. "if i did, it would be too late because i'm almost home."
"then why are you calling?" 
"because i'm cold, and my shoes are wet, and it's all your fault." he huffs petulantly, his words muffled by a pout you can imagine vividly in your mind's eye. "because you wouldn't let me stay the night." 
"haechan," you started. "i already told you i have really bad insomnia…" he grumbles to himself and you think you can hear him mocking your tone. "i really need to sleep for tomorrow because i have that test-" 
"oh yeah?" he bites back, annoyance clear in his tone. "and how's your sleeping going huh? are you talking to me in your sleep now?" 
you make an incredulous sound. "if anything you should be kinder to me since i evidently can't sleep right now-"
"you know i could have just fucked you right?"
what the fuck. the sound of footsteps on gravel crunch on even louder, anger evident in the way he's practically stomping his way back to his apartment. 
"haechan…what?" 
"sex and other forms of physical intimacy at bedtime have been shown to increase drowsiness, reduce the time it takes to fall asleep, and improve overall sleep quality," he rattles off. when you don't respond, the anger seeps back into his tone. "i'm not making this up! that's a direct quote from the chief of pul…shit, pulmo…pulmonology at Kaiser Permanente in Honolulu." 
"what's pulmonology?" 
"how the fuck should i know?" another frustrated crunch. "but she's the chief of it, so she should know what she's saying." 
your head is still reeling. stall, he gets distracted easily. "w-when did you look this up?" 
"two weeks ago, when you told me you had trouble sleeping." crunch. "i had a…a….hypothetical…?"
"hypothesis?" 
"don't interrupt me," he snaps. "i just remembered that people get sleepy after sex, and i knew there had to be a scientific reason. i'm not stupid you know." 
"i know…" you say, weakly. 
"but you wouldn't let me stay the night, for some reason you don't want to fuck me anymore, so now you have to suffer the consequences." the sound of a key fumbling in the door. 
"haechan…"
his voice drops an octave, a harsh rasp you've only heard when it was late at night or early in the morning. "i could have taken such good care of you, angel. i would've eaten you out…stretched you out on my fingers…" 
his next words are almost condescending. "would've fucked you until you passed out, or at least fucked you dumb."  
confusion, and something far stronger and deeper, tug at your stomach. 
"haechan?" your voice is a pale whisper. 
he hums. 
"i'm sorry. come back." you cringe at sound of your voice, small and achy, but you can't help yourself. 
there's silence on the other end. 
"you…want me to go back?" 
"please." 
and the line goes dead. 
x
it's a solid 15 minute walk from haechan's to your apartment, but it only takes 7 minutes after he hangs up for him to slam against your door, pounding on it with an urgency far too loud for 12.30am. 
when you open the door he crumples to the floor at your feet. he's drenched, completely, gasping and panting so hard you can see his chest move in and out with each shuddering breath. his mouth moving soundlessly, he crawls towards you, dragging himself up with a hand scrabbling at the wall, and your arms circle his waist immediately to steady him. 
his eyes are squinted shut in pain at what you assume is a stitch in his side, but he's still mouthing the same set of words over and over again soundlessly, too out of breath to vocalise them. 
"haechan, it's okay-" you splutter, helping him out of his rain-soaked sweater, his white shirt stuck to his skin underneath. "breathe. fuck, i told you to come back but i didn't tell you to sprint, did you fall? why would you-" 
"- don'tchangeyourmind," he rasps, gasping and hiccuping between breaths, the words finally ringing out in the still air of your apartment. "don't change your mind, don't change your mind…don't-" he coughs, his breaths still feeling more like punches than drawing air. 
"please don't change your mind," he begs.
his eyes are stealing the words from the cavity of your chest, drinking you in until you can't think of anything to say.
whimpering at your lack of response, he places his whole body weight on you, forehead gently nudging yours. "you told me to come back," he whispers. "i didn't want to give you any time to regret it. just now…when you made me leave…" his voice drops low. 
he was supposed to be the boy who just wanted to fuck you. but why did it sound like he was talking about something else entirely?
"i don't regret it, haechan," you say, softly. "and i could never…" you swallow. "i could never change my mind about you." 
he blinks, dazed. "i…" he takes a shuddering breath, and you tense up in fear. did he think you were alluding to something more? 
"haechan, i just meant-" 
"fuck, i don't understand anything you're saying," he blurts out. "i just know i want you, now." he drops his arms to your waist. "don't make me beg…i mean, fuck, if you told me to i would, but i just…" 
"you don't have to use your words," murmuring, you run your hands up and down his arms, and he shivers at your touch, closing his eyes.
"but you need to hear them," he insists. "words of affirmation…remember?" your heart thunders in your chest. 
"haechan…"
"i want to feel like i have you." his lips ghost over yours. "please?"
"please," you repeat back at him, and he's all over you. 
he carries you to your room, placing you gently on the bed. things go by in a blur, his gentle voice guiding you through the motions, skin against skin and his lips kissing you everywhere. before you know it, you're straddling his thigh as he drags your hips, grinding you down onto him as his mouth licks at your neck. 
"louder, angel," he pants, flexing the muscles in his thigh and making you whimper as you feel yourself coming close. this is the most silent he's been with you ever, his ears attuned to every catch of your breath, every choked sound you let out, that he falls silent to drink it all in. 
"need more," you beg. "need you, please…"
"you have me." his eyes soften, the sight of you falling apart on just his thighs giving him an aching feeling in his chest. this was different from the girls who would fall over themselves to talk to him, who used their own tricks to meet his. this was you, giving all your control to him. "you're doing so good for me."
sniffling, you grind harder against him, chasing your climax. "i am?" 
he allows himself a small groan. he wanted to swallow you whole. "come here," he says, tenderness straining at his voice. 
he stretches you out before he slips into you, waits until you give him the go ahead. he makes you wrap your arms around him, feet planted on the bed as your body intertwines with his, as he fucks up into you. he wants to feel you on him until he can finally decipher every look that flits through your eyes, until he can read your thoughts and drown in them. he presses a hand to your navel, and feels himself moving inside you, angling his hips until he knows he's ramming his tip against your sweet spot, feels your breath catch as if it were his own, your tears mixing with his sweat. 
he bites down on your shoulder when he cums with you. he doesn't know if it's to savour the sound of you falling apart because of him, or if it's to stop himself from admitting he loves you, he loves you, he loves you. 
x
when you wake up, he's in your bed. scrawling on a piece of paper. 
he doesn't notice you're awake, so you move closer to him on the pretence that you're still sleeping, watching through heavy eyelids the way he's muttering to himself, biting on his lip harshly. the ache between your legs gives you a sense of bliss, and the sight before you gives you an overwhelming sense of peace in your heart.
feeling your body shift, he absentmindedly reaches out to stroke your hair. it's that specific action that gives you the courage to sit up, your heart full. 
"good morning, haechan." 
"what's another word for fuck?" he's not looking at you, mindlessly chewing on his fingernails as his eyes dart across his piece of paper. 
"um…the verb or the expletive?" 
"the action." 
"why do you need another word for 'fuck'?" placing a hand on his shoulder, you lower your head to try and catch his attention. "haechan? what are you doing?" 
"i need another word for fuck because renjun told me not to use the word 'fuck'," he mumbles, crossing things out on his scrap of paper. 
"why?" you laugh, watching as his lips begin to pout slightly at how things were not turning out the way he planned at all. 
unable to stop himself, he lets out a whine. "because it's unromantic-" clenching his fists, he yelps as the speech he has scrawled out gets crumpled up. "fuck!" 
"haechan, it's okay," you're trying hard to keep a straight face, wanting to match his sincerity and tone. "is that a letter? for me?" 
"it's my script," he snaps. "it's my planned confession." groaning, he tries to straighten it out so he can read the words on it. "you said…you said it was a bad thing not to confess, which means it's a good thing to confess…" 
you feel like you're about to cry. "explain in your own words," you place a hand on his wrist. 
"i- you-" he takes a deep breath, letting the crumpled piece of paper fall off the bed and onto the floor. "you deserve someone who can keep up with you," he starts, quietly. "you deserve someone who will understand your jokes on first listen, who can hold long conversations with you without getting distracted by how hot you are when you're talking about something smart. i can't be that person." 
the words sting at your heart. is that really how haechan felt when he was around you? 
"but also-" his voice grows stronger, a hint of defiance in his tone. "i know for a fact that i make you laugh harder than anyone you know, even if you're laughing at me and not with me. i also know i can fuck you better than anyone you've ever been with, like, look-" 
he roughly pulls you towards him, lips finding yours messily. unfazed by the way your body tenses in surprise, he slips his tongue in your mouth just as he pulls you to grind onto his lap, causing you to gasp into his mouth. it doesn't take long for the shock to wear off, your body so attuned to him that a buzz runs through your veins — and you're just about to press yourself against him, starting to reciprocate his sloppy kisses, when he pulls away with a wet sound. 
panting, he swipes his thumb affectionately at the corner of your lips. "see?" 
you can't tell if you're frustrated that it ended so soon, or confused at what just happened. "see what?" 
"that was what, 15 seconds?" both your breaths come quick and fast, the tension in the room so palpable you could feel it press insistently against your skin. "and look at you now." a smile tugs at his lips, and he raises his eyebrows cockily. "i'm the only one who can do that to you." 
"yes, you are." you affirm.  
"yeah, because, i know how to touch you-" 
"because i'm in love with you," you interrupt, softly. 
and haechan literally stops breathing. 
you can see the way his chest stops moving entirely — his mouth hanging open, doe eyes wide. it's almost comical, the way his body freezes up. 
"i can't tell if you're doing that on purpose."  
still nothing. 
"did you really stop breathing?" 
"you love me?" 
he comes back to life spluttering, hands pointing to you, than himself, trying to make sure he hadn't heard wrong. 
"i love you," you repeat, gently. placing your palms on his chest, you feel his beating heart under your fingertips.
"you're not scared anymore?" he places his hands on your face in wonder, brushing a thumb on your cheekbone. you let yourself fall into his eyes, soft in the morning light. "you make it the easiest thing in the world," you whisper. the two of you bask in the moment, him breathing in your air, leaning closer and closer to you. your lips brush.
"fuck."
you whine as he pulls away, a horrified look on his face.
"y/n, i think i brainwashed you into loving me," he whispers, voice laced with genuine fear.
sighing, you gently bump your forehead with his. "if you make this about your dick..."
"no," he lets out a strangled sound. "that day, when we were calling and i was asking you questions..."
"haechan i swear to god-"
"those were 36 questions to make you fall in love," he whispers, pained. "y/n...i think i manipulated you. fuck i knew science was real, but i didn't know it was that useful-"
"after we make out, i'm going to have to explain the difference between pseudo-science and science to you", you grumble, as you push him back onto the bed and close the distance between you.
x
he whispers it into your hair, your face buried in his bare chest one night, his arms wrapped securely around you. 
"i don't want to go back tonight." 
"then don't." you hold him a little tighter, feeling him shift under your touch. "stay." 
"no, as in, i don't want to go back, ever." 
"haechan." 
he hums, hands starting to stroke at your sides, rubbing his thumb against the swell of your chest. 
"is this your way of asking to move in with me?" 
"i dunno…" 
"you do know that it's a big thing in a relationship right? and you're going to have to actually move out of your apartment, and figure out the rent on mine, and…"
"i don't care about that," he mumbles, a hint of stubborness in his tone. breathing in your hair, his voice drops even lower. "all i know is, i want to wake up tomorrow right here, with you. and the day after tomorrow. and the day after." 
"yeah?" 
his arms fall away from you as you sit up, brushing your hair out of your face to look at him in the lamplight. propped up against the headboard, his eyes wide and gaze so tender it steals your breath away like a blow to your ribcage. you can see the hesitance written all over him, the slight tension in his shoulder-blades, his fingers fiddling absentmindedly with the sheets. 
"please say yes," he whispers, more to himself than to you. 
"haechan…" you take his hands in yours, and kiss his fingertips gently. "please move in with me." 
exhaling in exaggerated relief, he pulls you onto him and kisses you deeply. mouth moving against yours, his eyelashes fluttering as he focuses on your tongue moving against his, his teeth grazing your lips. trying to convey all the love he had for you in the way he gently held the back of your neck, his other pressing down on the small of your back until your body curves into his. 
"if you move in with me," you smile, breathlessly, when he finally lets you go. "you can finally fuck me awake, like you promised." 
a pause. 
"is that all i am to you?" sadly, he runs a hand absentmindedly down his beautiful body, landing on his thighs. his eyes are downcast when he mumbles out, "just a hot body for you to fuck?" 
panicking, you lean into him quickly, cupping his face in your hands as you settle down on his lap. "baby, you know that's not true. you're the most genuine, kind, loving….." you trail off, eyes narrowing when you realise he's biting his lip to keep from laughing. "manipulative, conniving…" 
his eyes crinkle adorably as he wraps you in his arms, rubbing the tip of his nose on yours. "you love me soooo much," he whispers, almost conspiratorially. 
yes.
pause. "also, what does conniving mean?" 
yes. you did.
taglist: @puduwhore @haechanalpha @anniebyanto @sunnynaa @newdeobi @strwberrydinosaur @gyulfriend @91qowngus, @sundhaelatte, @jaemboi64, @sassy-author, @matchahyuck, @prdshobi @beomibeom
-> go to part 2 here!
3K notes · View notes
seapomelo · 5 months
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At first, my girl didn't like what I had in store for her. She was a prude, sex was boring and only after she gave me explicit consent. I had to carefully shape her personality so that she would enjoy it. Doing the little things over time, so that her perception of things changed. Now I can take her anytime, anywhere, in any hole, and she sees nothing wrong with it. Here are some things I did so that she changed.
Explaining things to her that I knew she knew, so that she felt stupid. Gradually she stopped trying to understand, because if something is important, I will explain it to her in easy to understand words. Thanks to that, she became much dumber and agreeable - if I show her how the world works, how can she fight with me? And now the things I explain are how to properly suck cock, the best ways to make her cunt available and methods for her to condition herself even more for my enjoyment.
You have to normalize casual sexual interactions. Giving her a massage? Don't forget to also grope her ass during it! Cuddling? Feel free to touch her breasts. Watching a movie? From time to time touch her pussy. Are you both under a shower? Offer to wash her back, do it, but while doing it also touch her. This in itself doesn't do much, besides making sexual interactions normal, which is useful in other forms of training. After a while she'll say something like "I'm stupid", and you have to reward her for that, by giving some attention to her cunt.
Sometimes, when she made mistakes, I bullied her a little for them. She forgot to unpack the groceries? Tell her that she must be a bit dumb. Getting something wrong during cooking? Comment it appropriately. Figure out what treat she likes, and then buy it for yourself. Grope her while bullying her. That way she will learn to accept the degradation and get off of it. After a while, tell her that the best way for apologizing is offering herself sexually. She forgot to do the thing you asked for? Tell her she must accept the punishment and spank her.
Initially she was a prude woman who didn't wear short skirts or exposing tops and was adamant to not do anything sexual in public places. I groped her from time to time, normalizing this. Sometimes I would raise her skirt just enough so that she wouldn't be exposed, but she would notice. Ask her to feel out my hard cock while on a train. After a long period, she's open to doing more things in public. Last week I asked her to blow me at night in a park, and she happily obliged. A few days ago, I took her on a walk with a collar and a leash on. Now she sometimes offers to show her boobs without me asking while we're out.
Give her rewards. Nothing changes the chemistry of a cunt's brain as much as appreciation, treats and gifts. She was a nice hole for a few days? Buy her the dildo that you know she wants, or a maid outfit that fits her. Cook a meal she likes, and tell her she can eat it after she sucks your cock. After she offers herself anally of her own volition for the first time, take her on a nice date (of course after stuffing her holes with remote controlled toys you can activate just as she starts talking to the waiter!)
These are only a few ways of training your slut! What are yours? If you're a slut, how were you trained, or how you wish to be trained?
1K notes · View notes
lilasamaaa · 5 months
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The night we met | Lando Norris x Reader
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Genre | Fluff.
Word count | 2.6K
Warnings | None for once! Enjoy some peace.....
Summary | When Reader's best friend sets her up on a blind date with one of her long-time friends, she expects anything but the evening she's about to experience.
Author's note | This piece is the result of yesterday's poll! Another poll will be coming soon for y'all to decide what's next :)
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"I'm really not sure if it's a good idea, Alice," she sighs, looking over at the bed where her friend is seated, behind her.
"What makes you say that?" Alice replies, arching an eyebrow.
"I have a list of reasons, actually," she states, pulling out her phone.
"You and your damn lists!"
"I know you hate them, but they help me clear my mind," she says, clicking on a note.
"Alright, let's hear your reasons then," Alice laughs. "But I'm warning you, I'm going to dismantle them one by one."
"Okay," she starts. "Reason one is : I don't know him."
"That's kinda... the whole point of blind dates," her friend says, rolling her eyes.
"Well, you agreed to this. I did not. You know how anxious I get when I don't know people," she says, head low.
"Lando is a really nice guy," Alice says, coming close to her friend and stroking her hair. "I just know he'll put you at ease right away."
She takes a few seconds to think, biting the inside of her cheek. It's not the first time she's about to go on a date with someone she's never met before. Even though she doesn't know him, she's not really worried about Lando. She's more concerned about herself, to be honest. She's not a model of eloquence, doesn't consider herself particularly pretty. She's sure her date will do his best. What she's not sure about, is if she'll be able to overcome her own anxiety about the whole situation.
"Reason two, then," she says, focusing back on the note. "I don't know a thing about racing. What are we even going to talk about?"
"Well, something else. I'm sure Lando would be delighted to talk about something other than work for once," Alice replies, winking.
She wasn't lying, she thinks. She really has an answer for everything.
"Shoot me with reason three, baby," Alice says, letting out a laugh.
"Reason three," she replies, eyeing her friend. "Let's say I don't fuck up, which would be a miracle in itself, and we hit it off. How am I supposed to maintain a long-distance relationship? We're not talking about Brighton or Cambridge, we're talking about another continent. Several times a year."
"Well, I'm glad you're thinking so much ahead," Alice replies, earning a frustrated grunt from her friend. "There'll be plenty of people who are in the same situation as you. You can always ask for advice from other WAGS," she concludes, laughing.
"You're insufferable."
"Was there a fourth reason to debunk, or are we done here?" Alice asks.
"There is, actually. That's the last one," she says, staring at her phone. "Every time I've gone on a date like this, without having seen the guy... They were never really... to my taste," she begins. "So I've never kissed them, never went any further. But if I like him, what am I supposed to do?"
"What's the real question?"
"Am I supposed to kiss him on the first date? I don't want him to think I'm easy. Is it better to play hard to get and..."
"Wow, you're overthinking this," Alice says, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't have any answer to give you. Just... Go with the flow. And if you're not sure about what to do, let him take the lead. Okay?"
An hour later, she's walking through the streets of Bristol, trying to calm her breathing, her thoughts, her already racing heart. She's checked the address Lando had sent her about ten times before leaving Alice's apartment. On principle, she takes out her phone, checking one last time. Her phone indicates that the restaurant is less than a minute's walk away, at the corner of the street she's on. There's still time to turn back, she thinks, before gathering herself. No. He doesn't deserve that.
In front of the restaurant, she casts a quick glance inside, checking if he's already there, before remembering that she doesn't even know what he looks like. Well, she has a vague idea. She's seen pictures on Alice's Facebook and Instagram over the years, but his precise features escape her. She remembers curly hair, beauty spots. Not much more. She's not sure if she would recognize him in a crowd.
She pushes the door and slips inside the buzzing restaurant, politely greeting the waitress who welcomes her.
"I have a reservation for two," she says. "The name's Norris."
"Ah yes, he's already here, in the second room. I'll take you to him," the waitress replies, flashing a smile.
Her heart stops. He's already here? She deliberately arrived fifteen minutes early to have time to settle down quietly, to gather herself. To wash her hands if they're too sweaty. This was not how it was supposed to go at all, she thinks, feeling the anxiety rise.
The waitress guides her through the tables to the small room at the back of the restaurant. On the way, her brain disconnects, giving way to total panic. I knew it was a bad idea, she tells herself, biting her lip. I'm going to make a fool of myself. The waitress suddenly stops, saying something that her brain doesn't comprehend before walking away and she looks up, meeting his gaze.
Oh, wow, she thinks, eyes widening. That man is too handsome for his own good.
"Hey, it's nice to meet you" he says, extending a bouquet of white tulips to her. "Alice said those were your favorites."
She smiles, taking the bouquet before burying her nose in it. Alice, you little sneak.
"Thank you so much," she replies, feeling her cheeks flush. "They're stunning."
Lando pulls out her chair before sitting back down, not taking his eyes off her. Feeling his gaze on her, she dives intensely into reading the menu. Or rather, she pretends to, because she's not even reading, just trying to avoid the attention the driver is giving her.
"You seem nervous," he states, still looking at her.
Feeling her cheeks turn red, she holds her menu higher in front of her face, hiding a little more. "Hey," he says, putting his finger on the menu to lower it. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry. I'm just really bad at this," she replies, finally looking at him. "Dates, conversations, one-on-ones. It's not about you, I swear."
There we go, she thinks, head low. We've been sitting for ten minutes and I've already messed everything up.
"Would you like to go somewhere else?" he asks, and she looks up, furrowing her brows.
"What?"
"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, that wasn't the intention," he says. "A romantic dinner may be a bit much for a first date. So, if you want to go somewhere else, do something else, it's not a problem."
"But... We're already sitting," she says, confused.
"It's no big deal," he replies, shrugging. "The restaurant is packed, they won't go bankrupt because we leave. We can just tell them we don't like anything on the menu."
She lets out a laugh, covering her mouth, astonished by the driver's suggestion.
"If you could go anywhere, a place where you feel comfortable and safe, where would you go?" he asks, his big eyes detailing her.
She thinks for a moment, looking upwards, biting her lip again.
"If we really had no limits... I'd go to the sea," she replies, thoughtful.
"Let's go then," Lando says, rising up and taking his jacket.
"What? Lando, we can't do that," she says, still sitting. "The good beaches are like, an hour drive away."
But Lando has already circled the table, jacket in hand, extending his hand to her.
"My car's parked outside," he replies.
She doesn't understand what's happening, so for once, she sets aside her brain and listens to her heart, grasping his hand and allowing him to guide her towards the restaurant's exit, the driver only stopping to explain briefly to the very understanding waitress that an emergency has come up and they have to leave, carefully slipping several bills in her hand as a tip - and as compensation.
Outside, Lando leads her to his car, their hands still intertwined, her heels clicking on the cobblestones. He opens the door for her and she slips inside, her heart racing.
"I've never done anything like this in my entire life," she says, staring straight ahead.
"You should never force yourself to do something you don't want to do, though," he replies, looking through the rear window to reverse, leaning indirectly towards her. His scent reaches her nose and she can't help but look at him closely, detailing every detail of his profile. His clear eyes. His beauty spots that remind her of constellations. The curly lock of hair that crosses his forehead.
"Does Ogmore work for you?" he asks, snapping her out of her reverie.
"Ogmore's perfect," she replies, eyes glistening.
They set off, and as the English countryside landscape passes by through the window, she notices that for the first time since she left Alice's apartment, she isn't feeling anxious. Her heart still beats just as fast, sure, but she suspects it's not really because of stress anymore. Lando rummages between their seats and eventually pulls out a cable, which he hands to her.
"I don't mind driving, but you're the DJ," he says, laughing. "Put on some music. Let me know who you are."
She grabs the cable before connecting it to her phone, scrolling through her Spotify playlist. So you want to know who I am, huh? she thinks, blushing again, before clicking on her favorite song.
The first notes of "I'm Outta Time" by Oasis resonate in the car, and Lando shoots her a surprised look.
"I actually love that song," he says, smirking. "What does it tell about you?"
"Well," she starts. "As you must be starting to suspect, I strongly identify with the idea that the sea is the only place that manages to calm me down, where I truly feel free."
"I'm with you on that one," he replies.
"And then... It's quite personal, but to me, the song's about someone who's lonely. Someone seeking comfort, a pillar, someone who can support them through everything. But also someone they'd be willing to let go out of love."
Lando turns his head towards her, and she gets lost in the softness and understanding reflected in his eyes. The song comes to an end, and she clicks on "On Melancholy Hill" by Gorillaz.
"I promise I'm not depressed," she says, meeting his gaze, while he lets out a laugh.
"This one's talking about the sea, again," he states.
"There's that," she says. "And there's this dreamy feeling. It's about frustration, about pressuring yourself to achieve big things, when maybe..." she stops for a second. "Maybe just being with your person is enough. Maybe there's no need for more," she finishes, looking out the window, troubled by the feeling of having said too much.
"I get it," he says, still looking at the road ahead.
"You do?" she asks.
"Of course. I'm not the last one to have dreams and goals, as you can imagine. But at the end of the day, when all that's over, what's left? What do you turn to?"
The rest of the journey goes on in the same way. She plays a song, explains why she likes it, what it makes her feel, what it reminds her of. Lando listens attentively, interweaving her narrative with his own anecdotes, sharing his thoughts, his fears. That's much more intimate than a restaurant, she thinks. But somehow, she doesn't mind.
Forty minutes later, a sign indicates that Ogmore is the next exit, and Lando turns onto the narrow road, which soon becomes a path. They leave the car in a parking lot, where only a few cars are parked before embarking on the sandy trail. Before them, the sun has begun to set, tinting the sky with orange, pink, and violet hues.
"Just in time," Lando says before plopping down on the sand. She sits beside him, closing her eyes. Absorbing the healing sound of the waves.
"Thank you so much for this, Lando. You have no idea how much it means to me," she says, feeling emotional.
They both lie there, side by side, without saying a word, lulled by the sound of the waves.
"Do you remember the night we met?" Lando suddenly asks, looking at the sky and the stars that the onset of night begins to reveal.
"What do you mean?" she asks, turning on her side to look at him.
"It was last year," Lando starts, as she furrows her brows, completely lost.
"I'm not sure I understand," she replies, confused. "I've seen you in pictures... But this is the first time we meet."
"Alice's birthday, in London," the driver specifies, and she dives into her thoughts, trying to rewind time. "You were wearing a black dress. Backless."
"I... I remember the birthday, and the dress," she begins. "But I don't remember you. Well, I remember Alice saying you had something come up," she continues, lost.
"I had a work function, couldn't get away. But I still stopped by, dropped off Alice's gift," he explains.
"I'm sorry, Lando," she says, embarrassed. "I don't remember seeing you."
"We crossed paths in one of the hallways of the bar. You were leaning against a wall, talking to someone... Jeff? Greg?" he says, closing his eyes as if trying to remember.
"Jeff? My boyfriend at the time?"
"Yes, that was him. You two were arguing about something, I can't remember what. The tone started to escalate, and you walked off towards the restroom."
"I remember that."
"I found myself in front of Jeff, and I told him, "You shouldn't argue with a pretty girl like that. She deserves better". He told me to fuck off, to mind my business, and left," he recalls, laughing.
"Wow, I had no idea," she says. "Him and I broke up like, four months after that anyway."
"I know. Alice told me."
"Why would she tell you that? It must not be of much interest to you."
"I'd mentioned to her that I found you beautiful. In fact, to be honest, I think I said you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," the driver says. "So one morning, she texted me. Said something like... "She broke up with Jeff. Time to grow a pair."
"Wow," she says, laughing in shock. "I didn’t know that."
Silence falls. Neither speaks for several seconds. He, wondering if he's said too much. Her, wondering what she should conclude from the driver's words.
"So..." she starts. "When Alice told me that she had planned a blind date..."
"It was my idea," he says, meeting her eyes. "But we couldn't say that."
"Oh, my god," she says, laughing again. "I can't believe you two."
A particularly turbulent wave crashes at their feet, making them yelp and quickly stand up. They're suddenly face to face. Wrapped in a heavy silence. One that cannot last.
"So you did, then," she finally says.
"What?"
"You grew a pair," she replies as he bursts out laughing.
"You're not angry at me, are you?" he asks, taking a step forward.
"I'm... quite surprised, I won't lie. But I'm not angry, no. I've never had a first date like this," she confesses. "I've never felt so listened to, so understood... In so little time. It started off badly, and yet you... you made me feel like I could be myself."
"You can," Lando says, taking her hand. "That's all I want."
"Will you think I'm moving too fast if I kiss you?" she suddenly asks.
"No," he says, coming closer until their breaths meet. "I won't."
470 notes · View notes
russellsppttemplates · 5 months
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Love notes (Charles Leclerc)
A look into Charles' notebook allows words and feelings to be exposed
Note: english is not my first language. The request didn't specify this, but friends to lovers was the first thing that popped into my mind and I know I'm not the only one whose favourite trope is that one so I did it ✨️
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Cw: mentions Charles' father and his passing and implications of the loss of someone close to the reader
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3
"And you want me to tell you that code?", you asked Charles over the phone.
Your boyfriend needed to go to the bank to sort a few errands out, and since you had finished moving the last boxes of your belongings to his apartment, you stayed back to tidy them and organise them within the apartment. As it turns out, he forgot to take the documents with the codes.
"Yes, please amour - it's in my notebook on my desk on the office", Charles asked, "I think I went as far as taking the paper out a little so it peeks out but I forgot to take it with me", you could hear the smile and blush on his face.
"Let me go there - don't you mind me looking on your notebook though?", you said as you moved through the apartment, "by the way, I have already found some space in the kitchen for mug collection - yay! Okay, found the notebook - is it the document with your signature or the one that has the details?", you questioned.
"The one with the signature, at the end, left side", Charles repeated what the bank assistant was telling him so he could help you find what he wanted, "and it's the third and fifth number on the Mobile Key".
"Okay, I have it - it's 4 and 1", you informed him, "those are the third and fifth numbers".
"Merci amour, I don't think I need anything else! Once I finish up here, I'll head home to you, I love you! And Y/N, I trust you with everything I have - I have nothing to hide", he offered, making you bid him goodbye before ending the call.
His words ressonated with you as you flickered through the pages, noticing some doddles and racing notes before you decided to look at it from the beggining.
The first page had what looked like a poem and it dated back to the end of 2016.
My father told me to be careful
- Try to slow down a little
You don't ponder nor stay still
You don't belong or give yourself to anywhere
He said - my boy, you know what you're capable of
The world awaits you, go ahead and smile
You don't want to be left behind
It's not been easy dealing with everything. There's hope and there's the want to do more to prove everyone that I belong in Formula One. Still, I'm happy that Prema decided to have me race for them next year in Formula Two and things should go up from there. Time and patience, work and rest. Spending time with the people I love most and care about me the most.
Y/N also progressed on her studies and she's doing really well - she makes our friend group very proud! The guys are investing on their careers too and it's nice to see that, in a way, we're all growing up.
The page went on about all the whereabouts of the group, who had gotten together with someone, who had moved out of their parents' house and the ones who got work offers. There were jotted up plans for the summer holidays that, in hindsight, were mostly realized.
When you turned it to the next one, the poem continued with the same tone.
My mother said to me
- You have to see what's happening
That girl is much more than a friend
And you don't want to lose her
She reads it in my eyes
Or in my open soul
I don't know how she does it
But no matter how much I deny it
My mother is always right
I really like Y/N. Not just as a friend, but also as someone who I want to share my life with.
Whenever someone wonders how I think my life will be like in five, ten, fifteen years, she's always there. There's racing - me climbing up the ladder to points, podiums, wins and championships -, and there is my family.
Y/N and our own family.
Mum claims she noticed it since we were kids and that right now is the right time. Y/N is single again and I can't afford to lose her. Lose her as a friend or lose the opportunity to confess my feelings, or the worst one: lose her because she doesn't feel the same or feel like being in a relationship right now?
It's funny how this works, how much I care about her and how it hurts me when she isn't feeling well. Or how bad I feel because I keep missing some of her university milestones because I'm racing somewhere in the world but she always call me and I'm right in her hand while her family and our friends are in the stands or waiting area.
Even though I'm the one that's furthest away, she keeps me close.
Charles had notes about you? He always carried the little notebook around but you assumed it was because of important information he wrote there. You didn't expect this.
His words rang in your ears as, while your boyfriend had told you he had been crushing on you for a while, he had never admitted feeling this doubt. Not to this extent.
Suddenly, it felt like you were taking a look from a different angle at Charles' soul. The intimacy and vulnerability wasn't foreign and you fell in love with him a little bit more.
Today is the day to get closer
To face her and see what she says
And if luck follows me
As I'm writing this, I hope Y/N is getting ready to meet me in the park. She looks beautiful in anything, but I'm hoping she wears one of her dresses that make her look like a real life princess.
Maybe we will be happy
What I have planned isn't elaborate, because I don't think she would like a big production, and I hope it's enough to show her where I stand.
I asked maman for some help with the cakes and cookies and got the rest from the shop, we're going to have a picnic and I've decided today is the day where I tell her how I fell about her.
There is no point in hiding it, and Joris and Riccardo seem so sure that she shares the same affection.
Today is the day to grab her
I hope she does.
To be with the one I always wanted
And if the nervous voice doesn't fail
Y/N said yes to being my girlfriend!!! As it turns out, she does feel the same and we both agree that it was a mixture of stubbornness and bad timing for eachother. Now, it's the right place and the right time.
I hope we will be happy
The memory is clear as day on your mind.
I confessed how much I love her and she reciprocated it.
Charles asked you to meet up with him at the park because he wanted to talk to you. The seriousness of the text was confirmed when you arrived, Charles pacing around the picnic blanket until his eyes found yours.
"I can't pretend anymore", he said, "you're the first person I look for when I get somewhere I know you will be too, I can't stand to see you hurt or upset and I will kick myself every day if I'm ever the reason you hurt, which I hope I'll never be. You deserve the world, Y/N, the moon and the stars, and I'm going to get them for you because I love you", he offered.
You had been so dumbfounded that you could only approach him and kiss his lips, cupping his face closer to yours, "I've been in love with you for so long, Charles", you whispered back.
It was the day where your love story truly began despite having existed for all of your childhood. You were his and he was yours.
Come with me, love is not time
Continuing to look through the notebook, you spotted some racing notes with numbers and acronyms you weren't sure that they meant, taking a while to find another page that had similar writing.
It's not even time that does it
Come with me, love is the moment
In which I give myself
Y/N is asleep right now as we fly back home after the race. She hasn't left my side and I think this is the first time she's sleeping since we got the news. We knew it was coming, but it doesn't mean that it hurts any less.
In which you give yourself
The feeling is unbearable. Someone who gives you so much also takes so much away from you when they go away. There's so much to go through, and all of the feelings haven't come up yet.
Maman is waiting for us with Lorenzo and Arthur, and I hope we will all find peace with this heavy feeling together.
Y/N told me the feeling may never leave, it creeps up when you least expect it and there are no rules to it.
Time is precious and I want to spend as much time as I can with the ones I love. God knows I did that with papa and it still feels like it wasn't enough.
The creak of the floorboards alerted you that someone else was inside the apartment before Charles' head peeked, "Hello, mon ange", he smiled, coming up to kiss your forehead.
It's these moments where we're not doing anything particular or special that mean the most. Y/N has given me all she's got and I've given her all of me, at the end it's the most human thing to do. Be there. Be present. Allow the other to feel everything they need to feel and protect them. Y/N has protected me and she's never let me doubt that we are for each other.
"I looked through these - I didn't mean to invade your privacy but I got curious", you admitted. It would be no use to lie about it or try to hide it away.
Time will wait, stop there
"Did you like what you found?", Charles asked, pulling the other office chair to sit at the table with you, "I have this one here that I really like actually", he flickered through the pages.
So I can stay like this looking at you
Time knows well, even time understands
That someone doesn't rush
"I wrote this one when we were on holiday, it the boat", Charles tapped the page, "you looked so beautiful that day and I felt like I was running out of time to appreciate you. Then I spent the whole afternoon watching you and I felt like time slowed down a little bit because it knew I was appreciating you", he charmed.
That looks at you like I do
"These are very beautiful, Charles - this one is so beautiful", you smiled, kissing his cheek and cuddling up to his arm as he continued to leaf through the notebook.
Call me an adventure and come and have an adventure
There were also drawings and loose poems along with some photos he kept of you two. One of the hike you had done in Ibiza last year caught your eye. You stood on top of the rock and by the way your arms were positioned, you were calling Charles to join you in there while he snapped the picture.
Change my plans and I promise I'll believe
That I'm the only one you want to see when you wake up
Your haven if the world collapses
Come and deceive me with that look of yours
The sweet way that trips me and without counting
Quench my thirst with a kiss to shut me up
Make me a poem and let me stay
I do not forget
But I want to hear from your mouth all the words that make me blush
Speak softly in my ear
And grab my hand
"This was last year, one of the seasons where I had to deal with so much disappointment in racing, and you never let go. You were there to hold me everytime things didn't go well, to celebrate my achievements and my podiums, and you still make it feel like an adventure every single day", Charles mused, "being loved by you is assuring, comforting, liberating, soothing, amazing, incredible and the best feeling I have on the world! Loving you? It's as incredible as it is a big responsibility because I have to make sure the adventure is still there and that we're both in it", Charles admitted.
Before the night is over
"Being loved by you makes me feel like the only other person in the world", you looked up at him.
"Loving you is making sure the time stops when you're with me so I can tell you all the silly stories I know just to make you smile, all of this to make sure you know you're the reason behind my happiness and the one behind the longing that never lies when you're not there. It's hugging you back tight and have my heart wide open because it's yours to take", he sighed with a smile on his face.
"I love you, Charles - being loved by you is the best thing I get to experience in this life", you smiled before kissing his lips.
"This helps me a lot when you're not with me, it's like I can talk to you", Charles muttered, "and I get to have the memories written out too, you never know when this can come in handy".
"You have no excuse if your speech in our wedding feels impersonal or doesn't have any memories then", you joked as Charles' finger lightly pressed down on the remaining pages of the notebook, making sure you don't get the idea to flicker through the random pages he has used to doodle the perfect engagement ring for you, smiling at the thought of having you be his forever.
"I definitely don't, amour - I'll make sure it's a good one when the time comes", he smiled.
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il-miele-che-scrive · 9 months
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lando norris x reader
based on this request (because I take requests and I have to make it everyone's business): Hi not sure if you take requests but in case you do could you write reader x lando where y/n is a celebrity or an influencer and she drops subtle hints at who is her new bf maybe some fun facts about him like "oh he hates fish and I'm making a lot of fish for christmas" and eventually the fans are like "guys it's totally lando"
words count: 2.5k + fans' tweets at the end
author's note: my first request and it was so fun to write 🥹 also added a hospital scene from the time of Vegas GP so we could experience a bit of protective Y/n and painkillers-high Lando (I forgot about a fish scene)
edit: I've just realized I've messed up the dates so let's pretend the award thingie was in '23 instead of '22
A secret boyfriend
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It was a normal Tuesday of 2023 when Y/n Y/l/n and Lando Norris met. Well, not so normal since it was the day Y/n won the first award in her musical career, and Lando had his first debut as an award presenter.
"And the winner is..." He opened the envelope and flipped it, as he held it upside down. "Y/n Y/l/n."
Y/n couldn't believe it at first. She looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. They hugged before Y/n stood up and got on her way to the scene, still questioning if she actually heard her name or was it her mind playing tricks on her.
"Thank you," Y/n sent Lando a smile as he handed her the award, "are you sure it's for me?" She joked, trying to mask the anxiety she felt from the fact that now she had to give a speech while everyone watched.
"Absolutely, it's all yours. Well deserved." Lando said feeling a bit starstruck from being so close to one of his favorite singers.
Just this one simple interaction was enough for both Y/n's and Lando's fanbases to raise suspicions. However, what was unavailable to the fans' eyes were Y/n and Lando's interaction at the after party. Later the same evening, he approached her.
"Hey, congratulations again." He said with a grin on his face. "Your music is amazing, I couldn't imagine you not winning this award."
"Stop with the compliments, I'm gonna blush." Y/n laughed. "Nice to meet you. Lando Norris, isn't it?"
"Yeah, do you watch Formula One?"
"I'm going to be honest from the beginning and admit I did not, but I did my research and I just might start being a fan."
"If you're ever down for hearing firsthand gossip straight from the track, I'm at your service."
"I'd love to hear all the gossip over a coffe sometime."
"Let me give you my number then and I'll arrange something."
And so a few days later they had a coffee date. The date marked the beginning of a carefully hidden romance. They wanted to keep it a secret from the public eye, not wanting people prying on them, trying to estimate how long they'll last.
Keeping the relationship secret somehow came easy to them. They were seen on the coffee date indeed, however they made sure to have the next dates in private. The fans on both sides were literally clueless to the whole ongoing romance. Y/n had her tour, Lando had his races and it wasn't even a little bit suspicious how a lot concerts aligned with race weekends.
Unfortunately, one day Y/n went live on Instagram with her best friend. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n gave away the big secret.
"You know, guys, we're gonna use lives as a way to spend time together," she joked, "I've been feeling a bit abandoned since Y/n has been spending so much time with her boyfriend. Even on tour and with his busy schedule, can you believe this?"
Y/n's eyes widened. "Y/f/n!" She scolded her friend.
"What? It's a joke, no worries, I can see you're finally happy and I'm happy for you!"
"Y/f/n! You weren't supposed to say that!"
But the damage was already done. There was nothing Y/n could say to save the situation. So instead she decided to start dropping subtle hints for the fans to guess. Maybe it was the right time to make the relationship public after five months. They couldn't hide it forever.
Y/n started the hint game when she was on Jimmy Fallon's show.
"Y/n Y/l/n, everybody!" Jimmy announced when the girl walked in and sat down on the armchair. "I haven't seen you in a year and so much happened during this time!"
"I know, I know," Y/n said with a smile. "I'm so glad I could make a quick pit stop here on my way to Montreal."
"I'm happy to have you here. You won an award, you got a boyfriend. How- how did that happen?"
Y/n chuckled at Jimmy's question, realizing it was the perfect opportunity to play the hint game. "Oh, life takes unexpected turns and sometimes you find yourself on a fast track to happiness."
Jimmy raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Anything you'd like to share about this mystery man?"
"You know, Jimmy, I've finally found someone who knows how to navigate the twists and turns in life."
The audience laughed and the speculations among fans skyrocketed as they tried to connect the dots from Y/n's playful hints.
The other time, Y/n was on a popular radio show. The host couldn't help but ask about the latest reveal of a big secret.
"You were left hurting really badly after your previous relationship," he spoke, "it's really good to see you finally happy."
"It was a big thing for me. Still is." The girl admitted. "My previous relationship made it hard to open up to a man like that again."
"What made you do it eventually then?"
"I decided life is too short for keeping things in the slow lane," Y/n chuckled, "and when you meet someone that can belt out a Taylor Swift song with the same passion as you, it's hard not to fall for them."
"So your mystery man is a Swiftie too? Any chance we might know him?"
"Oh, I bet many people who are listening right now would know him."
"Now you got us all intrigued, your fans wouldn't forgive me if I didn't ask for more."
Y/n grinned, "Well, he's practically flawless, except for one little detail. He's a scorpio. And let me tell you, when we're playing our silly little racing video games, his competitive scorpio side really comes out. It's all fun and games until his racing pride is at stake."
The host laughed. "I'm sure fans are already trying to guess who this mystery gamer is. And you, are you competitive?"
"Yes, totally. He's more experienced than I am, but it doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to beat him."
"Is there any trait you don't share?"
The girl nodded, "Yes, one thing I'm secretly jealous of. He's quite known for being able to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable conditions. I wish I could do that. I'm all about pillows and comfy blankets, but he can just doze off anywhere, anytime."
A few days later, in the warmth of Lando's bedroom, surrounded by the hum of city life outside the windows, Y/n brought up the topic with a playful glint in her eyes.
"You know, Lando, fans have been buzzing lately. It's quite entertaining."
"Well, you have started this yourself," Lando laughed, laying his head in his girlfriend's lap.
"Not me, it was Y/f/n. I just went with it and turned it into something fun for myself." Y/n defended herself. Her fingers started gently playing with Lando's hair.
"You do seem to be having a great time, leading your fans on and all that," he joked. "Are there chances they'll solve your mystery anytime soon?"
"I've seen a few tweets accusing you of being my secret boyfriend, but most people don't really believe that."
"What?" He sit up dramatically. He continued in a fake-offended voice. "Do they think I'm not good enough?"
Y/n giggled.
Lando's mock offense turned into a playful pout. "I can't believe they're doubting my boyfriend potential. I mean, come on, look at me!" He gestured theatrically at himself.
Y/n burst into laughter, "Maybe we should give them a little more to work with, stir the pot a bit."
Lando leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Y/n's cheek. "You're a master of turning chaos into entertainment, you know that?"
"It's quite a compliment, coming from a Formula One driver."
Lando flashed a grin. "Well, we both have our talents, don't we? Maybe we should drop some subtle hints during a race?"
And so they waited months for the Grand Prix in Vegas, because that was where they could start rumours about getting married. Sure, they could get married spontaneously anywhere, but there was no better place than Las Vegas.
Thankfully they managed to keep the relationship secret all these months, breadcrumbing Y/n's fans. After the Vegas GP, Y/n and Lando where supposed to go for an afterparty, get 'drunk' and then 'married'.
Unfortunately, they plans changed the direction a bit with Lando's crash. Y/n's heart sank as she watched the unfolding drama on the big screens. The thrill of the race was replaced with concern for Lando's well-being. Plans for the afterparty and the playful hints about a fake marriage suddenly didn't matter anymore.
Emergency crews rushed onto the track, the anxious seconds felt like an eternity as they worked to help Lando get out of his racing car. Y/n's heart pounded in her chest, the world around her blurring. The fact that he managed to walk away from the car was a small comfort.
Y/n's phone buzzed moment after Lando disappeared from her sight.
from: Lando
I'm okay, they're taking me to st vincent's hospital. Will update you soon. Love you xx
to: Lando
Be there in a second, see you soon
A shaky exhale escaped Y/n, she felt slightly relief and ran towards the exit. She was sure Lando wasn't okay, not after that crash, but at least he was conscious and walking on his own (although it could be the adrenaline). A moment later, when Y/n got into her own car, her phone buzzed again.
from: Lando
Yknow you could post a pic from the hospital, that would stir the pot
Y/n smiled at the massage. If he could think of that, he might had been better than she thought.
The neon lights of Las Vegas blurred as she drove through the city streets, trying to get to the hospital as quick as possible. Despite the speed, the journey seemed to stretch in time.
Arriving at St. Vincent's hospital, Y/n rushed through the entrance, her heart pounding. The reception area looked like a maze in her anxious state, but she managed to find a nurse.
"I'm here for Lando Norris," the girl said.
The nurse looked her up and down. "Are you his family?"
"I'm his girlfriend."
"Then, unfortunately, I cannot let you see him."
"His family is in Europe, I'm the closest to family you can get here in Vegas."
"The closest, but not family. I'll ask you nicely to wait here for further information."
Y/n nodded with an angry expression on her face. She sat down in the waiting room, pulling out her phone and dialing the number of her manager.
"Hey, Mia," the singer said. "I need you to do something." Urgency and frustration were visible in her voice.
"What's going on, Y/n? Are you okay?" Mia's concerned voice came through the line.
"It's Lando. He's been in a crash during the race in Vegas, and they've taken him to St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm here, but they won't let me in because I'm not 'family.' That's so stupid."
"I'm sorry, Y/n, but I still don't see what you want me to do."
"I want you to make a donation for the hospital from my account. Send them like $100,000. I think it'll be enough to let me in."
"Okay, I'll take care of it."
"Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it more than you know."
Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Anxiety lingered in the air. But there was no way they wouldn't let her in after that.
Y/n didn't know how much time had passed. She felt as if all she did was staring at a wall in front of her, ocassionally moving her eyes to the floor or the ceiling. She was fidgeting with her fingers as the same nurse approached her.
"Miss Y/l/n, you're allowed to see Mr Norris in the room 305."
Without a word, Y/n rushed to the room. She found Lando lying in the hospital bed, his gaze turning towards the door as she walked in.
"Lando." Y/n breathed his name, rushing to his side and taking his hand in hers. "I was so worried. And they didn't want to let me in at first."
He managed a dazed smile, his eyes slightly glazed. "Hey, you're real, right? This isn't happening in my head?"
Y/n chuckled. "Yes, I'm real. It's me."
He squinted at her. "You sure? You look like a beautiful hallucination."
"Well, if I'm a hallucination, at least a beautiful one."
"I feel like I'm floating on marshmallow clouds, but you're the most beautiful marshmallow I've ever seen."
Y/n couldn't help but laugh. "I think you might be on some strong painkillers, love."
"Ah, that explains the marshmallows. They're having a party in my head," Lando said with a dreamy expression.
Y/n burst into laughter, the tension of the earlier moments disappearing in the room.
"Did you know," Lando continued, "that racing is like trying to catch a rainbow? And if you're lucky, you might find a pot of gold at the end."
"Is there an Irish leprechaun as well?"
"I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe that's who's been guiding me all this time."
"You gotta ask him to make the rainbow less slippery next time then."
He nodded solemnly. "I'll have a serious talk with him. No more slippery rainbows, only smooth, marshmallow clouds."
As they joked around, Y/n couldn't ignore the quiet concern for Lando's well-being. She gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. "You scared me, you know? Seeing you crash like that."
"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll be more careful next time. But you have to promise me something too.""
"What is it?"
"You'll visit me in the marshmallow cloud world sometimes. It gets lonely up there."
Y/n laughed, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll visit anytime you want."
"You know, even in the middle of all this craziness, having you here feels like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."
As the night carried on, the hospital room became a cocoon shielding them from everything that layed outside its walls. Y/n found herself falling asleep on an armchai next to Lando's bed.
In the quiet ambiance of the night, Lando's mind wandered through the whimsical landscapes of his medication-induced thoughts. He couldn't help but marvel at the coincidence that brought Y/n into his life.
It all started with handing her an award. It seemed like it happened a whole lifetime ago and now, there they were, in the middle of marshmallow clouds.
Y/n, nestled in the armchair, breathed softly in her sleep, completely unaware of Lando's reflections. Soon enough, Lando allowed himself to succumb to the gentle pull of sleep as well.
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knack4harlow · 1 year
Text
“Don’t go over your budget”
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“Are you still giving me the silent treatment?” 
“…”
“C'mon Y/N I said I’m sorry .”
“…”
Jack tilted his body against the wall in the doorway watching his girlfriend as she refused to even look at him. Wanting to be the bigger person, he slumped his shoulders and slowly walked over to the edge of the bed where you laid. 
“C'mon, baby it was just a joke I swear.” 
“Would it be just a joke if I said you need to start covering that 100 acres of forehead you got?” 
“Guess you aren’t so sad anymore huh?” He mumbled, quietly fixing his curly bangs.
“You know how insecure I am about my body hair Jack.” 
He sighed, “Your right baby I’m sorry, I took it too far and I apologize. You're gorgeous with or without body hair”
You silently smiled to yourself at that, but wouldn’t let it show of course.
He started to gently rub your back and give you slow kisses on your arm and shoulder. “What can I do to make it up to you sweet girl?” He pleaded in between kisses. You immediately sat up. 
“Makeup run?” you smiled.
He laughed, “Wow that was easy.” playfully rolling his eyes. 
He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Princess you know I like to spoil you but you spent over 2,000 dollars last time, we can do anything else. “
“How about no sex for a week?”
“I'll go get my shoes on”
15 minutes later both of you were finally ready and we're heading out the door and climbing into his jeep. The drive to the mall wasn't that far from your apartment and before you knew it you were pulling up to the parking lot. Before climbing out of the car your boyfriend grabbed your wrist.
“Y/N you have a budget of 400.”
“400?!” you yelled, a little bit too loudly. “After the way you treated me?”
“$450”
“$550”
“$500”
“$800” 
“$200”
“550 it is.” you smiled. 
“That's what I thought” he smirked. “Watch that attitude” you smiled back as you leaned into a kiss, rubbing his beard.
He grabbed your hand as you both walked into the store feeling the brush of air. 
“God damn it's cold in here,” he whispered to himself. 
“ Baby it's 90 degrees outside.” 
“And?”  
“Nevermind” you rolled your eyes. 
“Sassy ass” you mumbled to yourself. “Don’t start,” he replied. 
After a little bit of looking around with him following close behind, you both made your way to where you get your concealer. While looking for your shade you saw your boyfriend wander and go towards some other products. 
“God damn did everybody take my shade?” you uttered to yourself.
“Baby, what's up with these names?”, “Better than sex, better than sex foreplay, shit making me horny”. You giggled at his antics “Jack please put that down.” 
“Maybe we can go to the back of the store or something,” he said, wrapping his arms around you. 
“It's official, I’m never bringing you here again,” you said walking away from him as he smacked his lips together.
You made your way over to the skin care section and started piling your basket.
“Hey remember your budget,” Jack said furrowing his eyebrows. “It's $800 right?” you joked looking up at him. He didn't find it amusing though. 
“We should really get some of this stuff for you, especially something to help with those eyebrows.” your boyfriend jerked his head up at that, “What's wrong with my eyebrows?”
“Nothing” you smiled while walking away.
“Y/N wait!”
Truthfully there was nothing wrong with his eyebrows, or anything in his face for that matter. But since he wanted to tease you, you decided it would be best to tease him back.
After walking around more, soon you both had made it over to the fragrance section. 
“Jack smell this for me, baby,” you said, spraying some in the air. “It smells nice mama, but don't you already have a full shelf of perfumes already?”
“I'm sorry Jackman Thomas Harlow, are you judging me right now? Me? After you just disrespected and hurt my feelings?”
“Of course not, baby.” 
“That's what I thought, cause let me say something about your big ass box of Pokemon cards-” you started off
“You made your point”
“Mhm,” you smirked. 
Soon you were basically done with your shopping and you and your boyfriend were heading towards the register. While on your way you passed by a new collection by one of your favorite brands.  “OMG POOKS LOOK '' you yelped. He stood behind you watching you pick up every single product in pure enjoyment.
“I know I probably went over budget but baby please” you pleaded.
“Go ahead” he frowned jokingly.
You shoved everything into your basket and both of you headed towards the cashier. 
“Your total is $630.50, will you be doing cash or card sir?” the lady behind the counter smiled, handing her hand out.
You looked up at Jack ready for him to tell you to put some stuff back, but instead he smiled to himself and took his card out.  
“Thank you for shopping with us today!” the lady smiled(a little too hard in your opinion)
After getting settled in the car you looked up at him and frowned. 
“Pooks I went over my budget, why’d you still pay?” 
“You really thought you had a budget? Baby I would’ve bought the whole store for you if you had wanted it.” He laughed
“Wow so you really had your girlfriend in there doing calculations, knowing damn well I’m bad at math, trying to save your money?” You crossed your arms.
“Yes and it was adorable watching you.” He smiled teasing you.
“You're lucky, you're cute.” You smile, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 
“Thank you for spending your money on me though,” you mumbled in between kisses on his cheek. 
“I’m always going to do  whatever I can to see those pretty dimples.” That made you smile even more. 
“And plus, I really do feel bad about what I said baby, I’ll do anything to make you happy honestly.” 
“Thank you pooks” you smiled showing your dimples. 
As he started driving you started rummaging through your 8 full bags sitting by your feet. 
“So when are you gonna apply some of that Nair though?”
That earned him a hard smack to the back of the head and a mean glare.
“Too early?”
1K notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 8 months
Note
Felix would wear best friend!readers shirts as crop tops
a/n the more i think about this, the realer it is,, here's a little shirt borrowing drabble to tide you all over as i finish a longer request
also pls excuse any typos,, currently have to write with a wrist brace 😭
----
"Oh my god."
Felix is leaning against the doorframe with an ease that implies nothing but innocence. His eyebrows pull together. "What?"
Despite his easy going demeanor, the last syllable of his question has his voice pitching upwards. The smile tugging at the edge of his lips confirms your suspicions. He knows. "You know what."
"I'm just waiting to be invited in."
You glare, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He leans closer, eyes begging you to believe that he has no idea what you're implying. With a sigh, you step back.
Felix accepts the space you provide, entering your room. You move to sit at the foot of your bed. "You're unbelievable."
He grins fully, sitting next to you. "What?" Felix sets a hand against your knee. "My shirt?"
"My shirt," you correct, "My favorite shirt, that I've been looking for."
Felix's thumb brushes against the start of your thigh. He already knew that this was one of your favorites, which was part of its appeal, but you have to be exaggerating. He's only had this shirt for a few days, and you hadn't mentioned anything.
He leans back, the too short fabric stretching with the motion, exposing more of his lower torso. It's not a scandalous amount of skin, but it's suggestive enough to have you keeping your focus on your lap. "No you haven't."
You scoff, ignoring the warmth attempting to crawl up your neck, "What do you mean 'no I haven't'?"
Felix fully relaxes, his back flat against your bed. "I've had it for days, and you haven't--"
"Days?" You turn your head, giving yourself a moment to just glare at him before laying down."So not only did you steal it, you remember when you took it?"
He tilts his head, looking at you through his lashes. "Stealing? Is that what we're calling it?"
You sigh. "Next time, just tell me before you take something."
Felix shifts onto his side, moving his hand to pinch the excess fabric of your shirt between his fingers. "Like you told me before taking this?"
Oh. You blink, lighthearted annoyance morphing into something more concrete. He's not wrong, technically. You are wearing one of his shirts, but it's not like it was intentional. Today, your priority had been being comfortable. It's not your fault he owns some of the softest shirts to ever exist and...it happened to smell nice. Comforting. Like Felix.
His fingers are still playing with the hem of your shirt. "You gave it to me awhile ago. It's different."
He twists the fabric, the material shifting enough to reveal the start of your hip. Felix hums in pretend contemplation. "Really? I gave it to you?"
"Yes."
Felix's fingertips brush against the newly expose skin. The contact is light, a barely there thing that makes it hard to keep breathing evenly. You turn your head, taking in Felix's appearance. The shirt's smaller on him than on you, more form fitting around his chest and arms than yours, and shorter. It doesn't look bad, though, if anything...
You straighten your neck, focusing your gaze on the ceiling. "It does look good on you."
"Yeah?" His grin is audible. "How good?"
You roll your eyes. "You already know you're hot, you don't need me to say it."
Oh. No. You feel your mistake instantly.
Felix's hand settles against your hip. "You think I'm hot?"
Despite the heat making its way up your chest, you continue to stare ahead. "I think that we're not in middle school and that this doesn't have to be a thing."
"No, not a thing, just two hot people--talking, stealing each other's clothes."
You groan. Felix laughs, his thumb dragging across your skin. He's insufferable. "I'm never being nice to you again."
----
taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains
575 notes · View notes
gojos-whatnow · 8 months
Text
『Make Your Dreams Come True』⇝♡
⭒Alt. title: normal call gone booty :000
⭒Synopsis: Gojo's flirting with you over the phone, as usual, when you suddenly ask him to come over...
⭒Warnings: NSFW, sexual content, subby satoru ml, reader and Gojo are both switchy tho, afab!reader, fingering, dick riding, not clearly stated that reader/gojo are virgins but you can imagine it, reader/gojo are best friends at the start, lots of the word "baby", implied fortnite (I'm probably missing stuff but oh well)
⭒Setting: Juju high Satoru but aged up ykyk cuz his sunglasses are so mmf
⭒Notes: first post but I'm considering making this a series HELP
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You and Satoru happened to be playing games together, as usual when you weren't on missions or doing schoolwork. You adjusted your headphones slightly, feeling the growing head discomfort from wearing them too long. It was worth it for Satoru, however, since he never ceased to make you laugh.
"Why would you run so far off, dude, you're gonna get sniped," you sighed, seeing how far away he was on the map.
"Pfft, I'll be fine, worry about yourself, you're one-tap."
"Maybe if my teammate decided to come help me I wouldn't be."
"You're jus' sayin' that cause you miss me."
This was the usual back-and-forth until one of you got ambushed or something. The normal flirting from Satoru while you shrugged it off with a chuckle. Though, you'd been playing for hours now, and tiredness was creeping into your skull, knocking down the filters of brain and speech one by one.
"Yeah, miss you a lot," you murmured, meaning to sound teasing. It came out all too genuine. "Wish you would come save me, Satoru."
You listened to the clacking of his keyboard, faint over your headphones. Satoru's silence made it all too easy to hear the lull in his playing, the quick pause and pickup. You looked at the map, knowing exactly what it meant. Sure enough, his ping was high-tailing it towards yours. You chuckled to yourself, feeling warmth in your chest. What a hero.
"Something funny?"
"No, no, you're just down bad for me is all," you spoke slyly.
"As if I try to hide it."
"Y'know, I reread our chats when I want an ego boost."
"You serious?" He snickered.
"Yeah. All the times you've called me gorgeous and told me I had a nice ass..."
"Wait, waitwaitwait-"
You heard the clacking of his keyboard stop entirely. Pausing, you realized and looked at your phone, tapping into your messenger. His typing bubble was up, as expected. You continued walking towards him in the game as you waited for his message to come up.
"Ok, there."
You turned to your phone and deadpanned.
S͟a͟t͟o͟r͟u͟u͟u͟u͟u͟ ͟🥺͟️͟🥺͟️͟:͟
Beautiful tits
And rack
You shook your head and hastily typed back 'nice cock' before picking up where you were. You heard his phone go off, a few seconds go by, then his seductive voice spoke to you again.
"Wanna see it, baby?"
"Bet."
He breathed out a laugh and you continued playing, occasionally speaking your mind a bit too much from grogginess. The sleep deprivation had started to show in your voice, though.
"You tired or something? Need a sleebge?"
"Yuh, I'm eepy," you yawned, rubbing one of your eyes. "But let's just finish this match."
"We're gonna lose if you're nodding off while you're getting cracked. Might as well quit while we're ahead."
"Ugh, that phrase. You sound like, fuckin', me." You cringed at your own phrasing, letting out another yawn.
"I wish I was fuckin' you."
After the moment it took your mind to register the words, you felt a response roll off of your tongue faster than you knew it was even there.
"Then come over."
You heard the usual chuckle that you and Satoru would share after something like that snake through your headphones. When you didn't join in, there was a pause.
"Are you... serious?"
A moment. A single moment was all it took in your tired mind to commit to this idea of yours.
"Did it sound like a joke, Satoru?"
You could hear his speechlessness, you could tell he was floundering like a fish right now, his keyboard, his screen, the whole match left completely forgotten. Once you'd had enough of the silence, you spoke to him again.
"I'm absolutely for real right now. Door's unlocked...
Lemme make your dreams come true."
"Ffffffuck."
You watched on your screen as a popup appeared. "THE_honored1 has disconnected." With a smile, you left the call, pulled off your headphones to let your ears breathe. You had just finished standing and stretching when there was a soft knock on your door. So uncharacteristic of Satoru.
You quickly checked your clothes and hair, just to make sure you didn't look like an absolute slob who had been in their gaming chair all day. Oh well, Satoru probably wasn't too far off from that himself.
You opened the door, only to find your friend was completely quiet, barely able to meet your eyes, though it seemed like he couldn't look away from them either. With a friendly smile, you stepped out of the way and motioned for him to enter. He stepped past you, hands in his pockets. You closed and locked the door behind him, then turned around just in time to feel an arm wrap around the small of your back and a hand gently grab your chin.
"I need to know..." He paused, taking a breath. He was basically panting, hot breath ghosting over you with each exhale. "I need to know right now... if you really meant it."
"Every word."
"You still do?"
"Of course."
At that, the hand under your chin pulled your face to his and his lips crashed into yours. You could feel him trembling as your arms wrapped over his shoulders, and you could feel his heart racing, beating right out of every artery in his body.
He felt sparks, fireworks, the whole nine yards, as he kissed you. His whole body seemed to stall like an old car as soon as his lips touched yours. His brain turned to mush- no, melted. Reduced to a boiling soup in his skull. Because finally, finally he was kissing you.
'Girl of my dreams' wasn't how he would describe you, but he'd dreamed of you. He'd literally seen you in his slumbering mind, and wished he could do more than just the occasional flirting and borderline sexting. Satoru had been fantasizing about you for years, it felt like, ever since you'd reached that casual first-name basis. He wanted to know what it would really be like. If those fantasies could be recreated.
And when you kissed back, waking him from the sloshing pool his mind had become, he tugged you close, bodies flush. He felt your breasts squish against his chest, one of your hands cupping the side of his head just under his ear, and God did it make him lightheaded as all the blood in his slovenly brain ran south. He could feel his voice in the back of his throat, threatening to let out a moan with every exhale. He struggled to hold it back, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of you by acting like an animal in heat just from your kiss and your touch.
You couldn't say you weren't feeling anything yourself, though. You were sure that, without your bra, Satoru easily could've felt how your nipples were hardening, and your breath shook as one of his hands left your chin and sensually trailed down your side and up under your shirt. But, of course, these feelings weren't nearly as turbulent as Gojo's excitement and arousal, which were only hightened when your tongue slipped between his lips.
You softly leaned into him, tapping his leg with your foot to signal for him to move back. As you continued kissing him, you led him back to your bed, shoving him down to sit on the edge of it and finally letting your lips leave his. As you caught your breath, you crawled up onto him, straddling his lap. He looked up at you with eyes that screamed how bad he wanted you, panting heavily but still wanting more. Then, he chuckled.
"This isn't at all how I expected."
"Hmn?" You beckoned for him to explain, draping your arms over his shoulders and carding one hand into the hair at the base of his neck.
"It's all so backwards from how I pictured it. I always thought I would be the one to invite you over, run the show... be the one in charge, but fuck, I'm such a loser," he sighed out, trailing his hands over your waist and stomach under your shirt. To help him, you pulled it over your head and off, giving him better access and a nicer view.
"A loser? What, for having a girl on top of you?" You purred, trailing kisses along his cheek and jaw. "Please, there's at least a billion guys who'd sell their soul for that."
His voice and breathing trembled as he tilted his head to the side for you. "No, I mean... how I barely had the balls to even come over... Let alone ask you to."
"Trust me, baby, you can do anything if you're tired enough. Or if you're Satoru Gojo," you whispered, nibbling lightly on his ear. A shudder ran down his spine at that, and he felt like he could cum right then and there.
"Fuck... Keep talking like that and I won't last for shit."
"Yeah? And how do you think I feel when I'm touching myself to your messages, hmn?"
He let out a soft gasp as you ground your hips against his. His hands ran to your hips, gripping them and guiding them as they rolled.
"Saying I could last three minutes would be a generous estimate."
"God, you do that too?" He asked, voice coming out whiney. You let out a seductive chuckle that burned through his loins.
"Of course I do. Ego boost, remember?"
"You like when I call you gorgeous?" He sighed, feeling you throb against his crotch.
"Don't dislike it," you admitted. "You're pretty damn gorgeous yourself, though. Pretty boy Satoru."
He felt his rock solid cock twitch in his pants at your words, once again. He was doomed. His molten mind knew that, even as he helped you take his shirt off. And then your hands trailed down his chest and stomach, making him even dizzier.
"Don't think... I can take much more of this..." He admitted as your soft lips kissed down his shoulder. He could feel you smile against his skin.
"Hehe, awwwe, you close Satoru?" You giggled and gave a few harsh rolls of your hips, sending hot pleasure coursing through his lower half. He gasped, hands gripping you tightly.
"Fuck, fuck, Y/n, don't do that."
"Okay, baby, I think you've waited long a enough. Just how long, I wonder?"
It felt like his whole life. An eternity he'd waited for this, for the chance to watch you unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down and off of him, followed by you doing the same with your leggings. You crawled back on top of him, hovering over his thighs and holding his shoulder with one hand to steady yourself. Meanwhile, your other hand found its way into his boxers, and you could hear his breath hitch as your fingers wrapped around his length and slowly started stroking up and down.
"Y-you don't have to do that," he breathed out, a hand gripping your wrist. "Trust me, I'm as hard as I could get."
"Well, I should hope so. You're bigger than even I expected," you chuckled, stilling your hand and pulling it away.
He sighed softly and looked up at you through his pretty lashes with a smug look. "And what about you? Think you could take it? Think you're even ready to?"
You felt yourself clench on nothing at his words, feeling how intense his eyes were on yours. With a smile, you grabbed his hand and placed it at the waistband of your panties.
"Why don't you find out?"
His smile left his face, mouth opening as he took a breath. His eyes left yours to look at where his hand was, and his mind stalled only a moment before his fingers dipped under the fabric of your underwear and softly tugged them down.
He left them about halfway down your thighs and reached up to cup your sex. He drug a finger through your folds, feeling how wet you were and suddenly wanting nothing more than to see how much pleasure he could bring you.
He continued pulling his finger forward until he found your clit, stopping to rub gentle circles against it. He heard a soft noise fall from your lips and watched your hips just barely twitch. God, did he want to turn you into a mess.
He looked up at you and your heated expression. "Can I...?"
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," you spoke, sounding the least composed he'd heard you all night. Carefully, he slipped one of his fingers between your folds, stopping at a shallow depth and curling his finger to tease you.
"You want it all the way in?" He asked with a smirk on his face and a playful lilt to his voice. You bit your lip, lidding your eyes at him, and wrapped your hand back around his cock.
You watched his whole teasing nature melt away as his cock twitched in your hand, begging for friction. Silently surrendering, he pressed his finger deeper until your cunt reached the base of his finger. He felt around your insides, watching you squirm slightly.
"'S that feel alright?"
"Yeah, you're all good."
At that, he curled his finger forward finding your g spot and feeling your walls clench around him. He added another finger and prodded against that spot. Your hips rolled against his hand as a soft moan was pulled from your lungs. The moment he heard your voice make such a heavenly sound, he was hooked. He couldn't help but move his fingers faster, try to reach deeper, and softly rub his thumb against your clit.
"Satoru," you called, somewhere between a moan and a fond chuckle. You reached a hand up to cover your mouth, only for it to be stolen away and replaced by a greedy pair of lips, drinking in every soft moan you gave. It didn't take long from there to feel a coil tightening in your abdomen, and as you pulled away from Satoru's lips for air, you leaned into him, pressing your chest to his and resting your chin on his shoulder.
"Y-you really want- hah- want me to cum now?" You asked making sure he was actually alright with that fact and not just lost without a thought.
"Fuck yes, baby. And I'll make it happen again when I'm inside you, mark my fuckin' words."
Hearing this, you felt your orgasm crash into you, making you stuff your face in the crook of his neck to muffle your sob. After all, two of your walls were shared with Shoko and Utahime, and you'd prefer that neither knew what was happening (particularly Utahime).
Once your orgasm had ended and you were catching your breath, you felt Satoru pull his fingers from his cunt, letting the cool air of the room touch your slick and make it embarrassingly obvious how wet you were. You pulled away from his shoulder and looked at him, finding he had two fingers in his mouth and a dreamy look in his eyes.
You tasted absolutely delicious. If he wasn't so painfully hard and losing patience, he'd have started eating you out right then and there, not stopping until you were barely lucid. God, how gorgeous you would look like that. But it'd have to wait for next time, and he'd make sure there was a next time.
"Need a break?" He asked softly, though it would pain him to hear you say yes.
"No, no, not after you've been waiting so nicely," you murmured, kissing across Satoru's face. As you did so, you took a hand off his shoulder and used it to tug your underwear all the way off. Once he realized what you were doing, he shifted around to tug his boxers down his own legs, leaving him completely bare under you. There was only one thing keeping you from being just the same.
"You gonna keep this on the whole time?" He asked slyly as he tugged at your bra strap.
"You want it off?"
"Wanna watch 'em bounce." He turned his eyes to yours, pausing your kissing. "You wanna keep it on?"
"Well, it's..." suddenly you looked the most flustered he'd seen you. Ever. Even when he was knuckles deep in your cunt, you'd kept some sort of stoic persona. But now, suddenly, even through the dark he could tell your face was red. "It's embarrassing..."
"Why's that?" He cooed, pulling you close so he could kiss along your shoulder.
"Whaddya mean, 'why-"
"I mean, it shouldn't be embarrassing around me. I worship you. It hasn't changed yet, why now?"
You thought through his words for a second, then sighed and grabbed both of his wrists, pulling them to your shoulder blades.
"...go ahead."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. It's like you said. Why not?"
He gave you a soft look and pressed an even softer kiss to your lips as he fumbled with the clasp of your bra. He unhooked it and carefully pulled it off of you, leaving you completely bare and with an urge to cover yourself as you felt your nipples harden even further with the cool air.
"'S okay, yeah?" He asked reassuringly, dropping his hands to your waist. When you nodded, he leaned forward and trailed kisses along your chest and both of your mounds. Your breath shook as you watched him and how his eyes would occasionally meet yours, making sure you knew how much he loved you and your body. After a bit more kissing, and some hickey-leving and groping, his lips lifted to meet yours, and his hands returned to his waist.
"You ready yet?" You sighed out, pulling your mouth from his.
"I've been ready for an hour, baby," he laughed, his enthusiasm returning.
"You sure?" You cooed playfully.
With a frustrated look on his face, you felt Satoru tug your hips down, pressing his cock against your folds. You bit your lip, feeling yourself throb and softly grind against him. He loosened his grip and you took that moment to lift yourself up enough for you to grab his length and line it up with your entrance.
You both exchanged a glance before he helped you ease down onto his cock, blissful sighs leaving both your throats. You felt Satoru whisper out his thousandth curse of the night and bury his face into the crook of your neck, letting out shaky whimpers as you continued to ease down.
"D-don't worry about- hah- t-taking it all..." he reassured, no longer helping you down - letting you go at your own pace.
"I can fit it," you murmur, continuing your careful decent down onto him.
"God, you're so hot inside. F-feels like I'm melting... All cause of me..."
You meant to chuckle, but it came out as more of a near-silent whimper as you sat down fully, feeling the tip of his cock kiss depths inside you that had never been reached before.
"You really did fit it all," he sighed out, an obvious smile on his face even though you couldn't see it. "You're a fucking angel."
He ran his tongue over several of the hickies he'd left along your neck and shoulder, all easy to hide, as per your request. You rested where you were, trying to get used to his length being the full way inside you.
"You alright?" He leaned back slightly, pulling your chin so you face him. "You're so quiet. You short-circuitting?"
You wiggled your hips and smiled at him, watching his lashes twitch as his eyes threatened to roll back at just that. "I could ask you the same thing," you purred between soft breaths. He leaned forward and rested his chin on your shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist in a way that was hug-like. One of his hands reached down under one of your thighs and attempted to lift you up, but you stayed put, clenching your walls around him and hearing him let out a shaky breath.
"Can't wait, baby," he whimpered softly. "Can't wait. Please move."
Indulging his sweet, pathetic pleads, you lifted yourself up slowly and sat back down, the feeling of his tip ramming into a certain spot inside you making you clamp down on him once more. His arms tightened around you. "Shit," he let out a sobbing whisper.
"You're so shy right now, Satoru," you cooed, trying embarrassingly hard to keep your voice from cracking. "What happened to all the talk you give me over our calls?" With that, you slid yourself back up and down. The resulting sound that graced your ears was glorious. Right next to your ear, you heard the great Satoru Gojo squeak. So vulnerable.
You picked up these movements at a slow and steady pace, not wanting to overwhelm Satoru, but make him feel amazing. And amazing he felt, dizzy and with his soup-mind more than numb. His soft grunts told you that much.
Everytime his tip prodded against a sweet spot inside you, you wanted to slam yourself down onto him and feel it again, but you knew Satoru wouldn't last if you went too rough. Right now, his arms around your waist pulling you up and down told you what pace he wanted as he steadily pulled you faster. You slipped a hand up his neck and into his hair, tugging softly to hear more of his voice. As the speed mixed with pleasure started making it impossible to keep quiet, you pressed your mouth to the top of his head.
It was clear he knew he was hitting a good spot, as he kept angling his hips to reach that spot with every bounce. One of his hands reached down to rub at your clit and, in your mind, there was the thought that you might actually cum first.
"Fuuuck, I'm close," he whined out, and you could feel his hips twitching up in an attempt to meet your bounces. Between your moans, you whimpered out a "me too."
He started tugging your hips up and down faster, and his hips struggled to meet yours to ram into the very back of your cunt. You yelped the first time his tip slammed into that sweet spot, and hid your face in the side of his head, recalling your wall-mates.
It took barely 30 seconds for your orgasm to wash over you. At the last moment, Satoru grabbed your face and shoved his tongue down your throat, lapping up your orgasmic mewls and keeping you somewhat quiet. Your cunt squeezed his cock tight, and one more thrust did it for him, sending his eyes up and back into his skull as he saw white. Without a thought of hesitation, he pumped your insides full of his cum, orgasming harder than he'd ever felt in his life, and it only felt better at the thought of making you all his.
His lips still stuck to yours as you both attempted to catch your breath. He pulled away for a moment to look into your eyes, only to lean back in and give you a real kiss, making you whimper.
"I fucking love you, Y/n," he sighed out as he pulled away, looking back into your eyes with a gaze so genuine, it made you freeze. "This... this is a terrible way to ask, probably top 5 worst ways, but... will you be my girlfriend?"
You sighed out a laugh and pulled his lips back to yours, kissing him with a completely different intention now. "How could I say no to you, honey? Heh, and you called yourself a loser," you shook your head. "Would a loser be in this situation?"
He rolled his eyes at you and pecked you on the lips. You gave him a soft smile, but yelped as you felt him swing you around, tossing your back down onto the bed. Your mind caught up just in time to see him on top of you with a dopey smile on his face.
"So, Sweetheart, you wanna go again?"
BONUS: The Morning After
After spending the morning making sure that your legs still worked, your hickies were covered, and that no one was around to see Satoru leave your room, you met with your classmates as if it were any normal morning. It seemed like one too, as you greeted everyone, including Satoru. He'd waited for you to text him that everyone had already left, so he was the last one out.
"Morning, Sleepyhead," you waved.
"If I had known you would be so late, I would've came and woken you up myself," Geto sighed. You quietly thanked God that Geto didn't attempt to do that.
"Hey you guys," Shoko waved. You felt nervousness in your chest at how amused she seemed.
"Did you have fun last night?"
Your stomach dropped, and you slowly turned to Shoko, finding a smug look on her face. Geto look confused, but knew something was up when he saw the terrified stares of you and Satoru.
"What happened?"
"Nothing important," Satoru waved his hand dismissively with a sigh, but his face was red too.
"I'll tell ya later, " Shoko leaned over and whispered to Geto.
"What're you idiots making such a big deal about?" Utahime asked, looking at you and Satoru's expressions.
"Hey, Utahime, you didn't happen to hear any weird noises last night, didya?" Shoko asked, leaning around you to look at her.
"I did, actually. Around 11, I think. Why?"
"Nothing, just making sure I wasn't hallucinating or something," she brushed it off, continuing to smirk at you and Satoru. At that Utahime left with a suspicious look.
Geto suddenly put the pieces together, eyes widening. "Wait. You two..."
Shoko nodded with a knowing 'mhm'.
With a look over his shoulder to make sure that Utahime was really gone and Mei Mei wasn't looking, Satoru reached over and tugged your collar to the side, displaying a blue hickey. You slapped his hand away, looking at him with a beat red face.
"Satoru!" You gasped.
"Oh, we're dating, by the way." He spoke coolly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"Took you long enough," Geto rolled his eyes.
"I told you, man, I had a plan this whole time."
"Last I checked, that wasn't at all the plan."
"Well, I had to make some... situational changes."
You, Geto, and Shoko all deadpanned at his bullshittery.
"Okay, look, the point is that it worked out."
"I guess I can confirm that," you sighed.
"Is he any good?" Shoko asked, nonchalantly. "Eh, why bother asking? I could hear the answer to that last night."
"Shut up!!"
588 notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 8 months
Text
Accident
Kyra Cooney-Cross x Gorry!Reader
Summary: It wasn't planned
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You were the best mistake Kyra ever made.
It was a complete accident when she kissed you, tripping in the crowded pub and smashing her lips against yours.
You giggled at the horrified look on her face when you helped her to stand, one of your hands still holding her waist. "Usually someone has to buy me a drink before kissing me."
You didn't yell at her or scream or punch her in the face so Kyra took it as a win even though her insides were twisting in horror and her face burned red.
"I can still buy you that drink?" Was what she offered in return.
"Sounds good."
Your love affair begun in that moment.
Kyra counted herself lucky that she managed to find the only other Aussie in London who wasn't attached to a football team. She also counted herself lucky that you avoided football like the plague.
Ever since the World Cup, the attention she was receiving was just a tad too excessive so it was nice to sit with you at home and relax, to not be Kyra Cooney-Cross the midfielder but just Kyra, your girlfriend.
"My sister plays," You said one evening as you swiped a chip off her plate," That's probably why I avoid it. Call me childish but I can't be into the same things my sister's into. It would make me seem like a very bad little sister."
"Or a good one, from her perspective," Kyra laughed.
"It's not that me and Kat aren't friends," You said," It's just we're very separate in our interests. I never really enjoyed being compared to her."
"And so you avoided football?" Kyra quirked a brow. "All football?"
"Well, clearly not all football," You replied, leaning forward to capture Kyra's soft lips with your own," Not yours."
Kyra drew away with a cocky smirk. "Of course not mine. You're my wag."
You rolled your eyes. "Whatever."
Domesticity with you was easy, Kyra found. It was completely stereotypical to move in after three dates but she was a big believer in if you know you know.
And Kyra knew.
So, she moved in with you.
You did the chores around each other. If you did the laundry then she did the dishes. If you hoovered then she polished. It was easier than ever before and Kyra settled easily into life with you.
"My sister's moving to London," You said one evening as you lay in bed together," Would you like to meet her?"
Kyra, who had been drawing absent patterns on your arm, froze. You didn't speak much about your sister just that she lived in Sweden with your niece and her fiancée. It was clear that you had a close relationship from the few times that you spoke about her.
Kyra's throat bobbed a little bit in worry.
You were her first proper girlfriend (and she was yours). She just knew that she had to make a good impression.
"You don't have to," You said when you noticed her silence," It was just an idea."
"No! No...I'd love to meet her."
"She'll love you, Kyra. I promise."
The week running up to meeting your sister was full of worry and anticipation. Kyra wrote out a script in her notes app about conversation starters and things to say about herself that would make her seem like the best possible partner for you.
She didn't want to leave anything up to chance with this. Not with you and not with your sister.
Kyra paced outside of the café where you agreed to meet her, wiping off her sweaty hands and muttering under her breath about how best to introduce herself.
"Kyra?" A familiar voice from behind said," Is something wrong?"
"Mini!" Kyra exclaimed," What are you doing here?"
"I'm meeting my sister soon," Mini said," She's meant to be telling me some big news. What about you? This is pretty far from St Albans, isn't it?"
Kyra laughed awkwardly. "I'm meeting my girlfriend's sister today. I want to make a good impression. I don't want her to kill me or something for knocking around with her little sister."
Mini laughed, clapping Kyra on the back. "Don't be stupid, Kyra," She said," You're the best girlfriend anyone can ask for. No one's going to want to kill you."
A blur appeared around the corner and you wedged yourself between the two of them, throwing your arms around both of them. "Kat! Kyra! You ruined the surprise! We were meant to tell her together!"
Kyra looked between you and Mini.
Mini looked between you and Kyra.
"She's your sister?!"
"You're dating Kyra?!"
You looked between them. "Do you two know each other?"
Kyra watched as Mini's eyes narrowed.
"I take back what I said," Mini said," I'm going to kill you."
981 notes · View notes
yoongiseesawmp3 · 10 months
Text
anything but - jeonghan
summary: roommate!jeonghan. you thought living with your best friend, jeonghan, would be easy. fun. like a sleepover every night. but as he watches you struggle week in and week out with crushes that don't like you back or dates that never seem to go well, he decides to take matters into his own hands.
word count: 8.2k
warnings: none rly, afab reader, unedited, sry
masterlist
jeonghan is ready to go to sleep. he had a long day, followed by a good, but tiring, night with friends, and he's been thinking about his soft sheets for the past two hours now. he's also been thinking about you, thinking about how happy he gets seeing your face light up when he walks through the door, but he knows he won't see that tonight. you're going on a date, dinner with some loser who's not him. he knows he could treat you so much better, but he can't just say that. things would get weird, and jeonghan can't afford the rent on his own. so selfishly, he keeps you and his feelings at arm's length. he's still thinking about you as he puts his key in the lock, wondering if he can stay up late enough to make sure you get home safe. when he opens the door, he changes his mind.
"what are you doing here?" jeonghan asks with a bit of anger in his voice, finding you laid out on the couch scrolling through your phone. "you told me you were going on a date tonight. did you cancel on him?"
"nope," you reply, popping the p as you sit up to stare at your roommate. "he cancelled on me. ten minutes before he was supposed to pick me up, actually, so i got ready for nothing."
that's when jeonghan notices the nice clothes you have on, your hair done up but mussed now that you've been laying on it. and, with a pang in his chest, he notices your makeup that looks smudged with tears. he knows you've been having dating trouble lately, and it's definitely been getting to you. but it makes his heart ache to think that you've been home all night crying over some loser who couldn't even bother to take you out.
"why didn't you call me?" he asks softly, joining you on the couch as he lifts your legs to lay them over his lap. he keeps a comforting hand on your calf as you explain, a slight tremor in your bottom lip as you say, "i didn't want to interrupt boy's night."
"baby, come on," he sighs. "you should have told me. you could've come to boy's night!"
"right," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "and hear all of them talk about their beautiful girlfriends and being so happy in a relationship? i'd rather eat drywall."
"we talk about other stuff," jeonghan laughs. "i told them about you getting us tickets to that soccer game and now i think they like you better than me. mingyu might be calling to see if he can take my ticket."
"never," you smile at him, sitting up and swinging your legs from his lap. "well, it's late. you're probably tired."
"eh," jeonghan shrugs, looking over you carefully to gauge if you're upset. "i could stay up a little longer, if you wanted to watch something."
"we're caught up on all our shows though," you pout. jeonghan sees an idea cross your face, so he asks, "what are you thinking?"
"nothing," you shake your head. "i remembered i didn't watch project runway last week, but you don't like that show-"
"put it on," he nods to the tv, looking over you one more time and noticing your clothes must not be that comfortable. "or you go change, i'll set it up."
"you don't know what episode i'm on though," you squint at him, and he shakes his head.
"nope, you're two weeks behind," he says. "i remember, because we went out the week before and you were ticked off that you were missing it."
"you pay too much attention to me," you mumble as you finally get up from the couch, jeonghan barely hearing you as he checks you out from behind. you're right, he does. too bad you haven't realized why.
when you come back from your room, you're wearing a hoodie that's seen better days and shorts that aren't quite doing their job. jeonghan clears his throat, trying not to stare, but when you sit down and put your legs back over his lap he can't help but skirt his hand over your skin, getting too close to your thigh without realizing.
"that tickles," you giggle, pushing his hand away. "you're annoying."
"ha, sorry," he laughs nervously, not sure what to do with his hands now so he reaches for the remote to press play. not far into the episode you curl up on your side of the couch, your knees tucked up beneath you as you lay down. jeonghan keeps an eye on you the whole time, attune to all your reactions and movements. he notices when you shiver, up in an instant to get a blanket.
"where are you going?" you call out, and he comes back wordlessly with the comforter from his room. he wraps it over you, using the rest of it to cover himself as he gets comfortable again. you find yourself dozing off, waking up every few minutes to see the progress on your favorite designers. you sleep through a whole section of the show, whining that you need to rewind, but jeonghan quietly explains what's happened and you're satisfied enough.
"do you want me to turn this off?" jeonghan asks after he sees your eyes closed again after you just complained about missing part of the show. you shake your head, not much of it visible outside of his blanket. you're noticing how nice his blanket smells, recognizing it as the same fresh scent that follows jeonghan around. it makes you feel at home, and that's part of what's making you so sleepy.
"i don't wanna go to my room," you admit shyly, feeling the tears from earlier just a moment or two away. "i'll stay awake, promise."
"do you want to sleep out here?" jeonghan asks, and you think about it for a moment. it wouldn't be the first time you had a little sleepover of sorts, both of you squished awkwardly on the couch or sleeping far apart from each other on someone's mattress that's been dragged out from one of your rooms. your silence decides it for jeonghan, and he says, "i'll go change, and then we can go to sleep." all you do is nod, getting comfortable beneath his comforter again as jeonghan slinks back to his bedroom to get ready for bed.
he comes back out and laughs to himself, your messy hair and scrunched sleepy face pulling at his heart. he knows someday he should tell you how he feels. he knows what you're looking for, and he knows he's perfect for you. it's just a matter of time before you figure that out, too.
-
a few days later, jeonghan was in the middle of a nap when he heard mumbling in the hallway and the sound of someone slamming doors. he was worried for only a few minutes, thinking it could possibly be an intruder, but as the mumbling gets closer to his door he knows there's a very frustrated y/n on the other side. he groans as he hoists himself up, shuffling to the door so he can peek out at you putting laundry away in the most irritated way possible. it's like you're trying to punish the towels for existing, and jeonghan can't help but laugh at the annoyed look on your face. it's cute, he finds himself thinking, but his chuckle pulls you from your dark thoughts and brings your anger to a new victim.
"what."
"nothing," jeonghan says defensively. "i thought someone was breaking in, you know, with all the banging around."
"shut up," you mumble, shoving the washcloths into the hall closet before slamming the door. you turn to your best friend and roommate, finger pointed accusingly, "i'm in a bad mood so don't piss me off."
"that explains the stress cleaning," he notes, and you ignore him.
"i'm going downstairs to put the dishes away," you grumble as you pass by him to get to the stairs, and he puts a timid hand on your shoulder.
"maybe do something that involves less breakables," he says coolly. "go punch a pillow or something."
"that's a good idea," you say, face lighting up slightly, and he laughs nervously as he finally asks what's wrong. "you remember that bitch of a dude who i was talking to a couple weeks ago?"
"gar bear?" jeonghan asks, and you roll your eyes.
"gary, yeah."
"what about him?" he asks, watching you unlock your phone and scroll to find something. you shove it into his hands, open to a very disturbing picture of a very ugly dick. "no."
"yeah. at three pm on a fucking thursday."
"stop making me look at it," he whines, pushing your phone back to you. "that's what made you mad?"
"yes!" you shout. "how did that thought process work? oh, this girl who i led on and then gaslit and then weirded out, she really needs to see my dick right now. it's the middle of the day! get a job! contribute to society!!!"
"why's he posing like that?" jeonghan asks, noticing more about the photo since you haven't locked your phone yet. "he looks so stiff."
"please stop," you say, but jeonghan sees a smile pulling at your lips.
"so what did you do?"
"i said 'what is your problem' and then i blocked him," you shrug, and he laughs.
"remind me to never piss you off," he says as he wraps an arm around you. "i'm sorry guys are assholes."
"i think i'm gonna become a nun," you mumble into his shoulder, staying in his hold maybe a minute too long. he presses a quick kiss to the crown of your head before letting you go, a blush on your cheeks that he takes pride in.
"you'd suck at being a nun, you're not nice enough," he jokes, and the way you glare at him makes him smile. "plus you fuck too much, aren't they supposed to be celibate?"
"forget punching pillows, i'm gonna punch you."
"sure baby," he chuckles, looking back at you as he walks downstairs. "you want food or something? i'll do the dishes. you just focus on not burning down the patriarchy."
"no promises," you mumble as you follow behind him. "but yeah, i wanna try this recipe i found the other day..."
it's over dinner that night that you realize how perfect jeonghan is. if only you could find a guy just like your best friend. someone who supports you, makes you smile, know how to get your heart to skip a beat. take, for example, his compliments. you like to joke to jeonghan that you need validation on your cooking, like tinkerbell, so whenever you cook for him the praises are nonstop. he's nothing if not supportive, so he tries to find things to comment on that he knows will make you blush. it works, and you do your best to tell him to stop without making it obvious that your heart is doing somersaults at his words.
this is what you want from a relationship, you find yourself thinking. you want to be comfortable with them, feel supported, all the things that jeonghan gives you. that night, you scroll through your dating apps, looking for a guy you think could meet those standards. in reality, you spend the whole night comparing the men on your screen to your roommate, subconsciously thinking of all the things you like most about jeonghan that these losers don't possess. you fall asleep like that, phone open to an empty chat, with jeonghan still on your mind.
-
so, a downside to living with jeonghan is you get the brunt end of all his weird energy. sometimes it's fun, and manifests itself in silly ways. like when you go thrifting, he takes it upon himself to find the weirdest thing in the store and insists on bringing it home. it means your apartment is decorated uniquely, but some of the stranger things you make him keep in his room. you haven't figured out yet that he only does this to make you laugh, loving how you smile sweetly at all the funny trinkets littered around your house. anything that goes into his room is eventually donated back to goodwill, its purpose served, doomed to delight another unassuming shopper some day.
other times, his weird energy comes out in worse ways. like today, he's not home, but you can feel that something's wrong. you know jeonghan is helping his friends with some video shoot, and he won't be home until much later. but there's a vibe in your apartment when you walk in. something is off, and it doesn't take you long to realize it. jeonghan has moved everything around, the couch where your kitchen table should be, the chairs from the table lined up in place of your couch. he's a strange one, your best friend, but it makes you laugh nonetheless, sending him a picture of the chairs and asking, "how am i supposed to fall asleep watching tv on this?!"
jeonghan smiles when he gets your text, shooting back, "watch tv in your room if you know you're just gonna fall asleep!"
really, he did the switcharoo for you to let your guard down. yes, moving furniture around is something silly that he would do, but he hid something further in the house that he wants you to find. he's hoping he'll be home when you do, but just the mere thought of your reaction has him chuckling. he goes back to whatever vernon wanted him to do, curious at each buzz from his phone, wondering if it's you.
jeonghan got the best of you, like usual. you did just go to your room, putting on one of your comfort shows so you could relax after a boring shift at work. you only get up to make a quick meal, dozing off again with the empty plate beside you. when the tv wakes you up you figure it's just time for you to go to bed, so you shuffle to the kitchen and notice a light coming from under jeonghan's door. he must have come home while you were napping, but it's late, so you go about your business. you drop your things off in the kitchen, returning upstairs to grab a washcloth and towel from the closet before you lock yourself in the bathroom. jeonghan is listening intently as you move around, waiting for the sound of the shower curtain pulling back and-
"JEONGHAN?!"
with sock clad feet that send him crashing through the now open bathroom door, he greets you with a shit eating grin. "you rang?"
"what the FUCK is that doing in here," you bellow, pointing at the plastic skeleton jeonghan found at the party store earlier that day. he thought it would be funny to hide in the apartment, at first just thinking about propping it up in the kitchen like the dead guy was making a meal, but the idea of scaring you a little was too good for him to pass up.
"man, when was the last time you cleaned your bathroom?" jeonghan jokes, "he must've been in here a while."
"fuck you," you spit, heart still racing from the surprise. that's when jeonghan notices something: you're naked. well, not entirely. like, you definitely don't have clothes on, his eyes flicking down to see your discarded panties and sleep shirt on the floor. he can't see the goods though because you're dangerously holding a towel over your body, one edge of it slipping as you reach out to try and punch jeonghan.
"what, you don't like him?" jeonghan pouts, stepping out of the bathroom to protect himself. "i thought you said you wanted to start decorating for halloween."
"this is not what i meant and you know it, you jackass," you try to say meanly, but jeonghan finds it cute. "it scared the shit out of me."
"i'm sorry," he says finally, hands twitching to reach out and grab you by the waist so he can rub comforting circles on your skin. but he can't. he physically shakes his hands out, a thing he does often enough to reset his mind that you look at him quizzically.
"why'd you do that?" you ask, and he clasps his hands behind his back defensively.
"felt like it," he shrugs. you roll your eyes and reach for the door, grumbling more expletives at him as you try to shut it in his face. "um, y/n?"
"what."
"you gonna shower with him?" jeonghan asks, pointing to your new friend. "i gotta admit, i'm a little jealous-"
"oh my god," you groan, grabbing the skeleton and throwing it at jeonghan with a comical clangor of plastic bones. "i hate you."
"love you too baby," jeonghan laughs as he closes the door for you, hefting the skeleton over his shoulder to go hide him in another corner of the house.
-
a few days later (jeonghan has hid the skeleton twice now), you come home from a date, dopey smile still on your face. you gasp when you see a body on the couch, thinking it's that stupid skeleton again. you breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it's a snoozing jeonghan instead. he looks angelic, his soft features shining brightly even in the dark room, illuminated by the tv. you don't realize that you're staring, nor do you realize jeonghan is peeking at you, the sound of the door waking him up.
"hey," he calls quietly, startling you. "sorry. i can go back to sleep and you can keep staring."
"i wasn't staring," you say defensively.
"sure," jeonghan nods, checking you out. "you look nice."
"who's staring now?" you ask as you cross to the kitchen. "i went out to dinner, but the portions were too small. do you want something to eat?"
"no, i'm good!" jeonghan calls. "was it a fancy place?"
"what?" you ask, coming back into the living room with a bag of chips. "i couldn't hear you."
"where you ate," he clarifies. "you dressed up, the servings were small, must have been a fancy place this guy took you to."
"how'd you know i was on a date?" you pout.
"y/n, i know you better than anyone else," jeonghan chuckles. "it was obvious. how'd it go?"
"good," you nod, ears burning under jeonghan's close attention. "don't wanna jinx it though."
"ok," jeonghan nods. "well i'm glad it was a good date. you deserve one of those."
"how was your night?" you ask. jeonghan shifts on the couch so there's room for you to sit and join him. once you're settled he explains how his friend seungcheol had come over for drinks, but he left a little while ago.
"i think he's got a girlfriend and doesn't want to tell me," jeonghan says, "because he feels bad that i'm not seeing anybody."
"you want me to find you a lady?" you tease. "you know my friends love you, i'm sure it'd be easy.''
"no," he shakes his head so some of his hair falls in his eyes. it makes it easier for him to stare at you without you noticing. "i'm good."
"well, it's a standing offer," you say as you get up to return the chips to the pantry. when you walk back through the living room, you ask, "where's jack tonight? i'm about to shower, i don't want another heart attack."
"i put the skeleton in your bed," jeonghan smiles with an impish glint in his eyes. "i figured it would be a nice surprise for the poor sap you might have brought home."
"you're annoying."
"thanks!" jeonghan chirps, and you laugh before telling him goodnight. he watches you go, smiling at something on your phone. jeonghan feels a pang in his chest ever so slightly, but he shakes it off, turning the tv off before he goes back to sleep trying not to think about you.
-
the following week, you're acting off. jeonghan notices immediately, but he doesn't bring it up to you at first. he's not sure if maybe work is stressing you, or maybe you've got family stuff going on...whatever it is, he'll give it a day or two before he checks on you, knowing how you like having time to yourself before someone swoops in to help.
the reality is, you really like this guy you've been talking to. that first date was amazing, and you wanted to go out with him again as soon as possible. you talk all the time, always ducking into your room when he calls while you're around jeonghan. you're actually ignoring jeonghan a lot, which you feel bad about, but you just can't get enough of this new guy. even though you're talking a lot, it's hard to set up another date with him because you're both busy with work. you've got plans to hang out on sunday, and for the first time in a long time, you're excited for a date. not nervous, not dreading it, just pure schoolgirl crush excitement.
that's why it's so crushing when, a few hours before, the guy texts you and cancels. you play it off at first, asking when he's free to reschedule, but his response is basically telling you to get lost. it hurts your feelings more than it should, because he is just some loser dude, but you also didn't know him that long. you have no reason to be so devastated over this, but you are.
jeonghan knew about your second date with this guy, so he made plans to be out of the house for as long as possible on sunday. as selfish as it was, he didn't want to be there for the giddy getting ready (you always ask him for outfit advice and he always tells you that you look great) or for the nervous pacing while you waited for the guy to pick you up (jeonghan always distracts you with jokes to calm your nerves). he also didn't want to be there after the date, if you happened to bring the lucky guy home. so he's out running errands, bothering his friends, and killing time until he's sure he won't walk in on anything he doesn't want to see.
when jeonghan gets home, it's late. after his day of farting around he went to his friend wonwoo's apartment for a while to heckle him while he played video games, and wonwoo finally kicked him out.
"don't you need to go home to your girlfriend?" wonwoo had teased, and jeonghan kicked him from his spot on the couch.
"y/n's my best friend and my roommate."
"so basically your girlfriend," wonwoo smiles that little smile of his, and it annoys jeonghan.
"she doesn't think of it like that," jeonghan mumbles, looking for his phone so he can head home anyway.
"because you're being too subtle."
"i'm not trying to be anything!" jeonghan says defensively. "i don't want her to know."
"why not?" wonwoo asks, finally turning to look at his friend. "you afraid she'll say no? because we all think-"
"i'll see you later, ok?" jeonghan says quickly, his shoes barely on as he tries to unlock the door. "hope cheol doesn't kill you again."
"in his dreams," wonwoo mumbles, his attention effectively back on the game and off of jeonghan.
jeonghan comes home to a mostly dark apartment, the stove light in the kitchen the only indication that you got home before him. he stops at the door to make sure there's no...unpleasant sounds coming from elsewhere, and when he's met with silence he kicks his shoes off carefully before heading to his room. he's exhausted, hiding from you all day being a good way to wear a person out. when he passes by your room something catches his ear, and his heart stops. were you moaning?
jeonghan knows he shouldn't, but he presses his ear against your door, telling himself he's only doing this so he can decide if he needs to stay somewhere else tonight. he's waiting to hear another voice, a man's voice, but he's met with a quiet whimper, followed by some sniffles. his heart roars back to life hearing that, almost breaking to pieces when he realizes you're not moaning, you're in your room crying. he's opening the door before he knows what he's doing, and you jump out of your skin at the unwelcome intrusion.
"go away," you whisper. jeonghan ignores you, coming to your bedside and looking down at you with concern in his eyes. "jeonghan, please. go away-"
"why are you crying?" he asks, and you don't say anything. "what did that asshole do?"
"nothing," you sniff again, willing your tears to stay back as you try to appease your roommate long enough for him to decide you're fine and leave you alone. "h-he was bu-busy and had to cancel-"
"fuck him."
"yeah, whatever," you say shakily. "it doesn't matter. i'm fine. now leave. please." your eyes are closed, trying to hide the tears that are welling up, and jeonghan is so quiet you assume he left, but he's trying not to let his own emotions show as he calls your name.
"y/n," jeonghan whispers, and when you look up at him you can't help it. you start crying again seeing him so upset over you being so upset, and before long you're back to bawling your eyes out. you barely register jeonghan cooing softly at you, climbing into bed and scooping you up into his arms. his lips are pressing soft kisses up and down your hairline, and it makes you cry even more. this is what you want, you think. this is what you need, what you've been missing. you want a boyfriend that will care for you like jeonghan does, that will be there for you like jeonghan is. it physically hurts you to think that you may never have that, that there's a possibility you'll never feel that kind of romantic love from someone. and you want to say that, you want to tell jeonghan why he came home to you pathetically crying so much, but he doesn't care. he just wants you to stop, so he'll hold you in his arms whispering sweet jokes to you until there's no more tears. he gets the slightest smile out of you right before you doze off, hands bunched into his shirt holding on for dear life. jeonghan holds you tighter, pressing one last kiss to the tip of your snotty nose before he drifts off to sleep with you.
-
you wake up later, not quite in the morning, but a few hours have passed. you're not used to sharing a bed with someone, especially when that person has such a vice grip on you as jeonghan does. once your mind has registered that you're awake, you also feel the burn of someone's eyes on you. sure enough, when you peek into the darkness of your room you see jeonghan staring back, eyebrows creased and teeth nibbling his bottom lip.
"stop chewing your lip," you tell him, reaching out to tug it from between his teeth. "i'm fine. you don't need to worry about me."
"wrong," he replies, watching you intensely as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. the quiet that follows has your face heating up, and the heat spreads through the rest of your body. it feels like every point where jeonghan's body is pressed against yours is on fire, and you want to pull away. but you don't.
"why aren't you in your room."
"because i wanted to sleep here," he replies. "i hope that's ok."
"it's not-"
"bummer," jeonghan cuts you off. "i'm not leaving."
"i'm not crying anymore though," you point out. "so. i'm fine."
"nope," he shakes his head. his bangs fall back into his eyes, and you think briefly he must need a haircut, but you hope he doesn't get one. the long hair suits him, even if it keeps him from seeing sometimes. you don't think about it, your hand unclenching his shirt and instead reaching up to brush his hair out of his face. jeonghan watches you carefully, and your breath gets caught in your throat when you look back down to his eyes. he's staring at you so intensely you can feel it in your chest, and that's when it hits you: jeonghan. you want a boyfriend like jeonghan. well! jeonghan's right here! what are you gonna do about it?
"jeonghan, i..." you trail off, staring at him like you're seeing him in a new light. he waits patiently for you to go on, thinking you might explain the situation a little more, but you don't know what to say. you just get hit with the intense need to bury your face in his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat as you fall back asleep.
"what?" he asks, trying to encourage you to keep speaking.
"um, can i just-" you try, but instead of speaking you just nuzzle into his chest, nose at the base of his neck tickling his skin. "i want to go back to sleep."
"then sleep baby," he whispers as he squeezes you tighter, afraid to let go. as you fall asleep, you let your hands relax against his chest, one of them laid right over his racing heart.
-
the next morning, you wake up to an empty bed and almost convince yourself you dreamed up jeonghan last night. like an oasis in the desert, he came to you when you needed him most. a little part of you wishes it wasn't real so you could go back to a time where you didn't know your true feelings for jeonghan, but your mussed sheets proves it wasn't a dream. jeonghan's scent is still lingering on your extra pillow, and you take a deep breath and remember how it felt to be wrapped up in your best friend.
jeonghan comes back into your room with two coffees in hand and he sees you nuzzling your face into the spot where his head laid just minutes ago. he lets you wallow for a moment before he calls your name softly. you jump up, cheeks warming as you look at jeonghan in your doorway.
"morning," he smiles. he hands you your coffee, your cold hands brushing his and sparking warmth across his skin. he stops himself from leaning down to kiss your forehead, knowing that whatever intimacy you shared last night is probably left in the past. you were sad, and jeonghan was there to comfort you. he'd happily do that a million times over, but he doesn't think you feel the same way he does.
"jeonghan, i'm sorry about last night," you try to apologize, but he shakes his head.
"don't," he stops you. "i would do it again if you needed it."
"well if you find me crying over some loser again tonight you have full permission to slap me," you tell him. "one night was enough."
"noted," he laughs, awkwardly standing in your room, unsure if he can get back into bed with you. you pick up on the way his eyes keep flitting from you to his spot, and you pat the empty space so he'll sit down.
"stop being weird," you say, bumping shoulders with him once he's comfortably next to you again. "so how'd you sleep?"
"pretty good," he starts out, "but there was this really annyoing sound coming from your side of the bed?"
"oh you mean me crying?"
"no, like this really loud, obnoxious snoring, kinda like-" jeonghan starts demonstrating, sending you into a fit of giggles and a pushing match to get him to stop.
"i think that was you!" you shriek, carefully trying not to spill your coffee. "don't spill that in my bed, i'll kill you."
"and then who are you gonna cuddle at night?" jeonghan asks, regretting it when he feels the tension between you both.
"i could always cuddle with jack," you joke to break the awkwardness, and jeonghan rolls his eyes.
"i hate that you named the skeleton."
"the skeleton is a guest in our home," you tease him. "show him some respect."
"whatever, freak," he says before downing the rest of his coffee. he gets an idea then, turning to you to ask, "what are you doing today?"
"um, nothing except work," you reply. "but you know my job is barely real so i'm basically doing nothing."
"let's go get coffee," jeonghan says, a playful look in his eyes.
"we just had coffee," you point out.
"no, no, we'll get good coffee, you can do some work, i'll watch you do some work, it'll be great," he insists, getting up and pulling you out of bed with him.
"if you're still trying to cheer me up i swear i'm fine," you say through your laughter, pressing back against jeonghan trying to push you toward your closet. "you don't need to take me for coffee or do anything else to make me feel better. i'm fine now."
"glad to hear it," he smiles softly, squeezing your hand that's clasped firmly in his. "but i still want to get coffee, so get dressed or everyone at the cafe will see you in that god forsaken t shirt."
the t shirt in question is one that jeonghan found for you during one of your goodwill visits. for whatever reason, it says 'i shaved my balls for this' and it got the biggest laugh from you all night, so jeonghan had to bring it home. despite being awful colors (light blue paired with neon yellow) it's actually quite comfortable, and you love the way it makes jeonghan laugh every time you wear it. it's unironically become your favorite sleep shirt, but you are mortified at the thought of anyone aside from your best friend seeing you in it. you quickly change, grabbing your work laptop from your desk before you head into the living room to find jeonghan waiting for you.
it's not unusual for him to take you out on random adventures, but this one feels different. he stays closer to you than normal, insists on buying your drink, and you catch him actually watching you work.
"get a hobby," you mumble, looking down at your laptop so he hopefully won't see your blushing cheeks.
"this is my hobby," he says. "i'm hanging out with my favorite person."
"seungcheol's going to be very sad to hear he's been demoted," you tease.
"he knows where he stands," jeonghan says, still watching you intently. you can't take it anymore, staring back at him.
"seriously, pretend to read or something! you're distracting me."
"i'm distracting you?" he smiles. "why? i'm not doing anything."
"i'm sending this email and then we're leaving," you say, and he shrugs.
"if you want, baby."
baby. it hits you harder this time, jeonghan's silly little nickname for you. you thought it started off as a sarcastic thing, but recently you feel like it sounds sweeter and sweeter coming from his lips. after last night, it makes your heart skip a beat, and that's when it hits you: are you on a date with jeonghan right now?!
"wait. waitwaitwait. hold on," you say, pointing at jeonghan and then yourself. "is this a date? are we on a date?"
"what? no baby," he shakes his head, and now you're confused. "no, if we were on a date you'd know."
"what's that supposed to mean?" you squeak out.
"do you want us to be on a date right now?" jeonghan counters, and you know your blushing cheeks have you in trouble. "you do?"
"i-i don't know-"
"hm, you wanna go on a date with me," jeonghan says matter of factly. "well, that's good to know."
"what are you doing?" you ask as he starts cleaning up his space.
"oh i need to go back to the apartment," he says. "gotta get my laptop so i can start planning a date that's worthy of you. i'll see you at home?"
"jeonghan, what?" you're left sputtering as he heads to the door, not looking back even though he knows your staring. he's afraid you'll see the excited/nervous shake in his hands, so he needs to go cool off. well, that and plan the best date of your entire life. he's got a lot of ground to cover. thankfully, the idiots you usually grace your time with have set the bar pretty low. jeonghan is determined to bring it higher, so high in fact that you won't be able to go on another first date without comparing it to his. if things go right though, maybe you won't have to go on a first date ever again.
-
jeonghan left the coffeeshop before you, so it would make sense if he was at the apartment when you got back, right? wrong. you come home about an hour later to an empty home, no sign of jeonghan. you think that's fine, it gives you a chance to actually get some work done. but jeonghan being mia has you a little nervous. what's he doing? he said he was going to plan a date. for you. and him. you and jeonghan...on a date? that's crazy.
you've done a good job ignoring that whole concept, trying to get ahead on a project you need to present later this week. you're so hyperfocused that the whole day goes by before you realize it, and when you finally emerge from your room you really expect to find jeonghan in the living room. he's still gone, so you decide to text him, asking casually if he would be home for dinner. the domesticity isn't lost on you, and it makes jeonghan smile when he gets it. he decides to call instead of texting back, balancing his phone against his shoulder and his cheek once you pick up.
"you miss me or something?" he asks, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
"i was just curious," you reply nonchalantly. "you've been missing all day."
"i've been busy."
"oh ok."
"i'll be home soon though," he tells you. "don't make dinner, just make sure you're dressed in an hour."
"for what?"
"a surprise."
"i need more information and you know that," you scoff, and you hear jeonghan chuckle.
"dress nice, but not fancy. and wear something blue so we'll match," he explains, and you feel your cheeks warm. "i gotta go, but i'll see you soon, baby."
hearing that coming from jeonghan now makes your heart skip a beat, and it makes you wonder if you've always felt like this and you just didn't notice. you keep thinking about him as you get ready, steaming out a dress you were planning to wear on a date that didn't happen. it's a soft blue with long sleeves and a low tie in the front. you worry for a moment that it might be too revealing, but checking the time rushes you into action. you're almost ready when there's a knock at the front door, which you ignore. there's another knock, this time louder, so you grumble your way to the living room to peek through the peephole. you gasp when you see what's on the other side.
you throw the door open, revealing a visibly nervous jeonghan with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. he's wearing a blue shirt, almost the exact shade of your dress, and he openly stares at you with a happy smile and a look in his eyes that you've never seen before.
"jeonghan?" you ask, pulling him from his intense focus on your chest.
"y/n," he smiles, eyes flicking up to yours. "you look stunning."
"i'm not ready yet," you pout slightly, checking the time on your phone. "you weren't very specific about when you were coming home."
"you look perfect," he says, checking you out again. "what else could you need to do?"
"wouldn't you like to know?" you tease, and he rolls his eyes.
"i can give you ten minutes, but any longer than that and we'll be late."
"late for what?" you ask as he passes you the flowers. "these are beautiful by the way, carnations are-"
"your favorite, i know," he smiles softly. "you buy yourself a bunch almost every time you're at the grocery store."
"i can't remember the last time someone bought me flowers either," you mumble, opening the door enough for jeonghan to come inside. "what are you still doing out there? it's your house, come in."
"finish getting ready," he laughs at you, reaching for the flowers again. "i'm putting them in a vase, weirdo. you'll get them back when you're done getting pretty."
"i'll be back," you whisper, running off before he can see how nervous you just got. you try to calm your nerves as you finish your touch ups, panicking last minute over which shoes and purse go with your outfit.
jeonghan is sitting on the couch, your flowers in your favorite vase on the coffeetable. he perks up at the sound of you shuffling down the hallway, but he pouts when he sees you holding up all your shoes.
"y/n, we're gonna be late."
"i don't know which ones to wear," you say simply, and he smiles as he comes up to you, analyzing the choices. he picks the white shoes and the white purse.
"glad we're still keeping this tradition alive even though i'm the one taking you out this time," he says proudly, watching you get situated. you stand back up, mussing your hair one last time before he asks, "ready to go, beautiful?"
"i don't know why i'm so nervous," you tell him, taking his arm as you leave the apartment. "we hang out all the time."
"yeah, but this isn't us hanging out," jeonghan says as you wait for the elevator. "i'm taking you on the best date of your life. nerves are completely valid."
"are you nervous?" you whisper, leaning in so jeonghan gets a good whiff of your perfume that he loves finding traces of all through his life. he holds your gaze, eyes flicking down momentarily before he shakes his head.
"no, i thought i would be, but i'm not," he replies simply as you get on the elevator.
"ok good, so i'll just freak out for the both of us then."
"would you? that takes a lot of pressure off of me," jeonghan jokes, and you pinch his arm. "ouch! so mean to me when i've made the perfect night for you."
"and what does this perfect night entail?" you ask. jeonghan just shakes his head, leading you out into the lobby of the building. he takes you a different way, not walking to the parking garage but instead to the main entrance of your building. "jeonghan, are we walking there? i don't think i can make it in these shoes-"
you stop mid-sentence, spotting the shiny baby blue mustang convertible parked outside. you look at jeonghan, mouth open in surprise. he has to tug you down the hallway and out into the cool night air, helping you into the passenger seat with ease. you watch on in shock as he gets into the driver's side, finally cutting through the fog in your mind to ask, "do you even know how to drive this?"
"yeah," jeonghan says coolly, opening the glovebox to hand you a scrunchie of yours that he stole. "here, you might wanna put your hair up."
"you're insane," you tell him, playing with the scrunchie in your lap as he starts the car. you can't believe this so far, and the date's barely begun. what other surprises could he possibly have in store for you?
-
after a quick ride out of the city, you find yourself at a retro drive in that's completely empty. you have a sneaking suspicion jeonghan rented it just for the two of you tonight, but you don't have a chance to ask. once he parks, he's asking you to open the glovebox and you smile when you see the stack of movie theatre candy boxes he's stashed away. you take them out, turning back to jeonghan to see he's produced a tub of popcorn from somewhere and a couple of your favorite sodas. you stare at him with your mouth opening and closing like a fish and he just smiles proudly in return.
"jeonghan, what did you do?" you finally ask, and he laughs.
"do you like it?"
"what are we doing here?"
"watching a movie," he says obviously. he shifts the snacks, the drinks going into the holders by the radio and the popcorn and candy going on the dashboard. "come closer," he mumbles, tugging your arm. the smooth vinyl of the seats sending you flying into jeonghan's side, and you giggle nervously as you adjust your dress. jeonghan lays the snacks out over your laps and drapes his arm across your shoulders for good measure. he looks at you to gauge whether you're settled or not, and when he decides you're ready he presses on the horn once. the screen in front of you lights up, and you gasp as you see the opening credits for your favorite movie flashing before you.
"where did you get the idea to do this?" you ask him with a smile, taking a few pieces of popcorn to give you something to do with your hands.
"just thought it would be something different," he shrugs, and you leave it at that. you can barely focus on the movie, hyperaware of how warm jeonghan is next to you and how every glance he casts your way sends your heart racing faster and faster. a few minutes into it, you remember your hair is still tied up from the ride, so you shuffle out of jeonghan's grasp to pull the scrunchie down and reset yourself. you know jeonghan is watching, so you mumble, "watch the movie, weirdo."
"i've seen it before," he whispers back, eyes still heavy on you. "i'm not missing anything."
"you've seen me before too," you point out, leaning back into his side once you're done moving around. "quite a lot, actually."
"yeah, but i've never seen you on a date before," he says. "and on a date with me? whoa. i gotta soak it all in."
you turn to look at him then, admiring the way his hair falls so slightly into his eyes, the way his lips stretch over his shy smile, how his eyes glisten when they meet yours. you could kick yourself for not noticing any of this sooner. who knew you had exactly what you were looking for right here?
"jeonghan, i-" you start, but realize you don't have the words to tell him what you want to say. you stop, staring at him with your brows furrowed cutely.
"what, baby?" he laughs, his thumb coming up to trace the creases in your forehead. "you're gonna give yourself premature wrinkles like this."
"why are you doing this?" you ask quietly. "why are you so...wonderful? all the time?"
"because," he shrugs, his hand falling from your forehead to rest just below your chin. "i've been trying to show you what it would be like. took you long enough to come around."
"show me what?" you ask confused.
"what it's like being loved by me," he smiles back. you feel your breath catch in your throat, and you want to say something. you want to tell him how you feel, how you're sorry it took you so long, how you love every moment you spend with jeonghan by your side. instead you just lean forward, lips brushing over his. you bring your hands up to his neck, wrapping them in the soft hair at the back of his head as you scoot impossibly closer and try to press all your love into this one kiss. jeonghan keeps his hold on your chin, thumb stroking softly at your cheek. he's the first one to pull back, laughing when you try to bring his lips back to yours so quickly. he leans his forehead against yours, soft hair tickling your skin as he asks, "so you get it now?"
"yeah," you nod, knocking your heads together and sending you both into a fit of giggles. jeonghan steals a few more kisses, and when you finally calm down he pulls you back into his side, squeezing you as close to him as possible. you lay your head down on his shoulder, pressing your lips into the closest part of him you can reach. "thank you, jeonghan. my jeonghan."
"my y/n," he sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "my beautiful, kind, funny girl."
"stop staring," you whisper bashfully. "you're missing the movie."
"i'm not missing anything," he repeats, but he takes one last look at you before he kisses the top of your head and finally turns back to the screen. this might be your first date with jeonghan, but it certainly won't be your last.
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mcflymemes · 1 year
Text
PROMPTS FOR INTIMATE PILLOW TALK *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary
it's funny. sometimes i think i've already fallen in love with you as much as possible... and then we share a night like this.
i'm falling more and more in love with you every day.
what about me turns you on the most?
do you feel connected to me when we're together like that?
was it good for you? is there anything i can do better next time?
you made a few sounds i've never heard before.
are you satisfied by our physical intimacy?
can i get you anything? do you need me to do anything?
you know i love you, right?
that was the best night of my life.
i don't even know who i was last night.
what do my lips taste like when you kiss them?
what's your favorite thing about my body?
i've never done anything like that before.
thanks for going easy on me. clearly i've still got a lot to learn.
you were so gentle with me.
wish we could just stay like this forever.
you can stay the night, you know. you don't have to leave just yet.
you look so beautiful like this.
i could get used to this. nights in bed with you laying beside me.
i just can't stop looking at you. i can't believe you're real.
was i too much for you? did i go too far?
i need to be close to you like this.
can i kiss you again? i promise i won't get carried away.
just stay like that and let me admire how beautiful you are.
no one has ever loved me like that.
i've never been touched like that before.
it's like your body was made for mine.
don't go. don't get out of bed just yet.
i'm not ready to let go of you.
let's just cancel our plans for the day. what do you think?
why don't we just stay like this forever?
come closer. please.
i heard you talking in your sleep.
i didn't know it could feel like that.
i'm glad to share one last moment of calm with you before the storm.
i think we're more than friends.
whatever happens, we'll always have each other. last night is proof of that.
well... that was fun. give me a moment to catch my breath.
we could take a shower together if you wanted.
what time is it? maybe we should go grab lunch.
i'm too comfortable to move. let's just stay right here.
you're really cute when you blush.
thank you for trusting me like that.
i have a confession to make. i think i love you.
your hair's a mess.
what did you dream about?
feel like going another round?
i've never seen you act like that before.
i don't know what came over me.
no, please don't get up. come back to bed.
was it that bad?
i'm sure the neighbors really enjoyed hearing all that.
so... does this change anything between us?
i don't regret a single thing about last night.
would you hold me while we sleep?
i feel safe in your arms.
nothing will take me away from you.
we had a long night. you should get some rest.
you're the best i've ever had.
i'm so in love with you it hurts.
don't hide that beautiful smile from me!
we could try spooning. i hear that's nice.
so... what happens now?
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