#KAEYA'S LITERALLY *SO* SUS

[raylazuko]

New headcanon.

That Diluc and Crepus are alike in a lot of ways and I get the impression that Crepus also lived vicariously through Diluc in terms of “I couldn’t be a knight so you go do that” even if he may have had some reservations with the Knights himself but wouldn’t wanna alienate them because of his kids or because of business reasons.

That Crepus and Varka have a begrudging mutual respect for each other but do not agree with each other’s tactics.

Crepus, like later Diluc, finds the knights inefficient. That he was working to bring down the Fatui in his own way secretly. There is some underground vigilante anti-Fatui group that Diluc later joined because he has contacts in Mond when he gets back.

Diluc is a kid and delluded into thinking the Knights are perfect and Crepus doesn’t wanna crush his dreams.

Then reality happens.

That Diluc has noticed some corruption already and has his reservations and annoyances. That that night was his final straw. That he’s relieved to be out of the Knights but feels like he let his father down but also has a weird feeling that he did the right thing by him.

And that he later learns more about the underground efforts and just how stupid the knights are being and that diplomacy doesn’t solve everything.

But he doesn’t wanna alienate them too much because of his begrudging respect for Kaeya.

And also he’s annoyed and slightly jealous that Kaeya took his position.

He secretly wishes Kaeya would leave but if he told Kaeya everything he knows it would destroy him. Or he just wouldn’t listen.

Or that Kaeya does know and wants to change things from the inside.

Or he stays because he thinks that’s what Crepus wanted and actually sees Diluc as disrespecting their father’s wishes.

Or Kaeya stays because the knights treated HIM well, and he doesn’t have any other family left. They ARE his family. His dad abandoned him and he doesn’t know where his mom is (if shes alive). If he has other siblings they’re probably working for the Order. His adoptive dad died and his adoptive brother views him as a pushover for staying perhaps.) Let’s also not forget that Kaeya was probably pressured into doing whatever he was forced to do as a kid as being an heir to the Abyss Order basically. He probably doesn’t know HOW to say no or stand up against institutional injustice. Anything is better than where he came from. So he mostly just distances himself from the Knights by hunting treasure hoarders for fun and gathering intel because his position is literally useless.

I also think Jean’s hands are tied because she’s also barely legal and has too much pressure and is probably going off some some handbook and can’t reorganize things too much to not piss of Varka when he gets back. Plus they’re short-staffed. It’s very likely Varka groomed Jean in some way to succeed him and just put way too much pressure on this kid so now all she knows is how to work. Yeah I don’t like Varka lol.

For Kaeya it’s like “don’t bite the hand that feeds”. Kaeya leaving the knights would lose him EVERYTHING and he cannot risk that. There’s also a real chance that Varka knows about his past and if he leaves, he would become a target due to him being potentially dangerous.

It’s just a big mess all around and Ragbros+Jean are dysfunctional adults that had unrealistic pressures put on them as kids.

[xiao-come-home]

How Genshin men wake up with you;

and spend their morning with you.

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓

✰ Characters: Kaeya, Diluc, Zhongli, Xiao, Itto, Ayato, Kazuha, Dainsleif, Alhaitham.

✰ Words: ~3,5k.

✰ SFW ; gn!reader, no mentions of pronouns. fluff.

Warnings: a lot of physical touch and kisses, reader is implied to have hair, ayato is a bit sus, kazu deserves the world, alhaitham makes kavehs life a bit difficult by choice. msg me to add more.

A/N: this is a sequel to How Genshin men sleep with you post, with two new characters added cuz it was fun to write :') a lot of alhaitham's morning routine is assumed because usually, id try to base it off canon, so yeah ;3;

┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛

Kamisato Ayato:

as the Yashiro commissioner, he has to wake up pretty early. but... there's only one problem - Ayato hates it with passion. poor Thoma used to shake him awake every 15 minutes, at least three times. ayato would just swat his hands away, press his face into the pillow and sigh loudly, promising Thoma to get up in a few minutes. (he didn't)

now that you're living with your boyfriend, you share the same bed. which means a few things - he clings to you the entire night, your limbs are tangled together in the morning, and now you're the one in charge of getting him out of bed (Thoma almost cried in happiness). he annoyingly turns off the screaming alarm and snuggles back into you.

he has a habit of, quite literally - squishing his cheek against yours as he lies next to you. he also likes to nuzzle into your neck and grip you like a monkey that found the last banana in its vicinity. he hums at you and lies down with his eyes closed if you ask him questions or say anything. you can tell by the tone he hums with whether he agrees on something or not, but generally, that keeps him enough busy not to fall asleep again.

i can't stress this enough, he's ALL over you. if he's in his "cheek-against-cheek" mode, he literally cradles your other one with his palm. if his face is in your neck and you lie on your back, his fingers are intertwined with yours. the more awake he is, the more kisses are being placed by his lips.

he definitely requests breakfast in bed. at this point he's cuddled enough, so now he wants to feed you. literally. he picks up the food skillfully with his favorite chopsticks and carefully brings it to your mouth, "open up my love," he speaks in his usual, soft-spoken tone, but it's clear his morning voice is still there. "that's it, you're so good for me. is it good? would you like some more?" hmm..

just so you know: he wants you to feed him too and will pout and threaten (playfully) to go back to sleep if you don't. since he likes to sleep more, there aren't many activities you share in the morning; as a result, he cherishes the morning snuggle and sharing your first meal together a lot. Ayato is always curious to hear about your upcoming plans for the day - but he won't say no to lighthearted conversations either. he just really wants to hear your voice.

Arataki Itto:

listen. he either sleeps until 6am or 1pm. there's no in-between, sometimes he stays up all night or falls asleep on your lap on the couch as soon as he comes back home. no, he won't move.

it's hard to say whether he's a morning person - but probably not; he whines a lot into your hair when he has to wake up early and hasn't rested enough, babbling how dark it is outside and that you're too warm to let go of.

speaking of, he holds onto you in the mornings like his life depends on it - you have to work? no, no, no - just stay for a while longer, while he smushes your face right into his... um, prominent chest. you feel the warmth of his bare skin, his chin on top of your head, his large hands drawing invisible patterns of stars, clouds, or hearts under your pajama t-shirt; he sneaks a few kisses on your hair, humming in contentment when he feels you hug him back with your arm over his own hip.

he's totally willing to make you a nice meal before work though, and wake up earlier in the process. most of the time it ends up in absolute disaster and him taking twice as much time to clean it up. but... if you decide to make breakfast together, itto can actually cook up a nice meal (with "a little of your help"). while the preparations are done and the meal is almost ready to be served, the oni hugs you from behind and sways a little from side to side, nuzzling into your neck drowsily and trying not to drool on you.

generally, he's very touchy after waking up (as you can probably guess by now), so he wants to accompany you everywhere before you have to leave. he'll cuddle you before leaving the sheets, link your pinkies when you wait for the water to boil, go showering together, have his hand on your thigh if you do your makeup, attempt to help you with your makeup which might end up in very interesting results, and trying to mischievously steal some kisses just as you're about to leave.

Itto's hands cup your cheeks gently and he flashes you a boyish smirk; he leans in and connects your lips, purring as some of his unruly hair falls onto your shoulders. he always claims he "just wants to give his little sunshine a good luck kiss for the day," but in reality, he just wants to feel you real good before you depart for today. also, he really likes flavored lip glosses, and you keep buying them, so it's not his fault for giving in to your "devilish temptations"

Kaeya:

the bed is an absolute mess. the pillows are everywhere, his part of the duvet is barely covering him from the stomach down, and probably, he has one of his arms on your face.

it takes a while for him to fully wake up; once he opens his eyes just barely enough to see, he scans the room to make sure you're near him - and then he either gets up or decides to snuggle up to you, kiss your temple and go back to sleep for a bit more.

if it's a work day, he uses all his willpower (read: 30 alarms) to wake up earlier and just admire you. he likes to big spoon you and have his arm over your hip, gently grazing your hand with the pads of his fingers; Kaeya just can't get enough of the smell of your shampoo, of your warmth, of your presence.

before properly getting out of bed, he hovers above your sleeping form - it gives him butterflies to see you so peaceful; therefore, he always bends down and places a few butterfly kisses on your cheek with his pretty lashes. he chuckles lightly when he sees you stir in your sleep because of the interaction, so he gives your cheek a proper kiss and (unwillingly) leaves the warm bed.

just so you know - he WILL attempt to get in your pants if he has a day off. Kaeya's hands start to wander automatically as he kisses you awake (or at least attempts to), and if he feels like a little shiet enough - he might place his cold feet on your legs to help you wake up and have some fun! :)

you might need reinforcements if he doesn't wanna get up in winter when it's cold. Kaeya clings to the duvet like he's about to meet the grim reaper himself.

Diluc:

he has a routine that he strictly follows - but at the same time, he's an expert at being quiet and letting you sleep. he takes his time getting dressed up though - he can't help but cheat a bit and watch you snore.

even if it's his day off, he still wakes up earlier than you. but there's a catch - he then leaves your shared bed for a moment to greet his maids and order them to make you a mix of your and his favorites for breakfast. he doesn't want to wake you up, but he really wants to talk with you again - so he might do that with that precious scent of freshly prepared food..

an absolute sucker for playing with your hair in the morning. he runs his fingers through your hair in the gentlest way possible, shifting closer to you and pressing a sweet, warm kiss on your forehead that he lets to linger for a bit longer.

likewise, when you play with his hair to wake HIM up - he might just feel his heart explode and shed a few happy tears. he's never believed there will be a day he meets an angel like you, even more so that graces him with such affection, sincere affection that makes your eyes sparkle.

Diluc leaves you his t-shirt he sleeps in just before going to Angel's Share - it smells like his body wash with a little bit of his natural scent. He usually takes it off in the middle of the night anyway, finding himself to feel a bit too hot for his liking.

Either way, you love cuddling with it. He's not there physically, but it's a reminder that he made it safely and spent the remaining hours of the night next to you.

Zhongli:

he also has his own routine! he wakes up as soon as the sun begins to rise, quietly walking to the kitchen and carefully making a cup of tea for himself. he drinks his tea slowly, shuddering at the taste; his taste buds overflown with the right combination of spices. he finishes his drink just in the right time - it's time to wake you up now.

Zhongli sits on the bed and brushes some of your hair behind your ear; he kisses your forehead and begins to mumble good morning to you. He smiles at you and caresses your cheek with his thumb when he sees you trying to convince him to get just 5 more minutes.

while you finally get up and groggily change your clothes, he goes to prepare your favorite drink, be it tea, coffee, or anything else. he likes to put some mild spices in it to make your usual drink feel a bit more special and surprising. if you can't handle spices, that's fine! instead, he can give you a small snack :)

he really, really wants to brush your hair and vice versa. it's probably one of his favorite morning activities. he's trying his best not to pull your hair and if he does, he places an apologetic kiss on the crown of your hair. he'd be even happier if you let him style your hair, going to the garden or a flower shop nearby and decorating it with small flowers.

but... if you persuade him to get back to bed, he'll oblige. though, in return, you can't fall back asleep - he keeps you awake by asking you if you had any dreams or nightmares, to tell him about them, or what you'd like to eat.

he asks you to do his makeup! Zhongli's perfectly able to do it himself, but he loves seeing how focused you are on the given task, the corners of his lips going up when he hears you curse under your breath, trying to suppress his laugh.

Xiao:

a morning bird (ha!) just like Zhongli, but he has no routine... unless killing demons counts as one. considering this, he usually isn't around when you wake up :( (not that he sleeps anyway.. 90% of the time.)

however, all it takes to make him appear is to call his name - Xiao never misses it and always prioritizes you first. he might roll his eyes if you call him "just" to lie in bed with you. but it's fine - he "berates" you (not really) while almost spooning you.

there are some rare mornings shared together with Xiao, though; he says he has to watch you to keep you safe and hopes that you won't question the excuse any further, but you know it's something else. After all, his hands covering the rosy cheeks seem to give everything away.

in reality, Xiao's cold heart gets well-deserved warmth whenever he sees you sleep. of course he still wants to protect you, but realizing how much trust you have in him to fall asleep without second thoughts is more than anything he could ever want. he smiles, eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly when he pecks your face all over; his kisses are quick and chaste. even though you can't really feel this now, you know his lips leave a tingling sensation.

he lets you sleep a bit longer on his bare hand and doesn't care if it falls asleep. he's so mesmerized by your faith in him that he just does not care. even as simple as it sounds.

when the tiredness gets the best of him, the next morning you find him breathing steadily next to you. you don't wake him up though, probably because as soon as you'd do that, he's gone off to fight the evil. give him a blanket and prepare a plate of almond tofu - the disbelief on his face quickly turns into adoration, accepting the meal and savoring every bite. after he's done, he kisses your knuckles and whispers "I love you" against your skin.

Kaedehara Kazuha:

yet another person who wakes up extremely early. he opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to get used to the light; his crimson orbs scan the environment, and his face lights up when there's no danger around. he stretches his arms to shake off the remains of sleepiness and presses a good morning kiss on your shoulder.

he later decides to hunt or fish for fresh meat - depends on what you like more, but he'd be overjoyed if you let him do his signature dish! he doesn't go far, just enough to still keep an eye on you. don't worry - he's also prepared if you don't eat meat at all! he's more than happy to learn recipes to accommodate and just to simply make you smile more.

he starts a small fire nearby your sleeping form, the distance is enough to make you feel warm, but not enough to possibly hurt you. the crackling of fire wakes you up, along with the delicious smell of Kazuha's cooking. when he notices you slowly awakening, his mouth curves into a smile; he shifts next to you and kisses your nose.

he's trying to fight the grin creeping on his face every time you enjoy his food. really, that's why he does that every time you're traveling together. also, by this point - he still has a massive bed hair. please brush his hair in return. and braid it too - he'll touch the finished piece with a blush on his face and shyly thank you for being so kind to him.

also! he trusts you a lot and lets you change his bandage every morning. particular spots hurt more than the others and Kazu tries not to show his pain; but seeing how much care you're putting into it, disinfecting it, and kissing the pain away when he winces - the love stored in his heart makes the relief appear faster.

he ALWAYS makes sure you're all warm and comfy, especially in winter. Kazu covers you entirely with a thick blanket from his bag, the sole item in it during your shared travels. he's also willing to stay cuddled up together for a bit longer when he notices the snowfall outside. his warm breath fans over your neck as his arm over your waist tightens and brings you closer to him.

Dainsleif:

again, another morning person - but slightly less by choice. as soon as Dainsleif shoots open his eyes, he tries to calm down his racing heart; he lets out a sigh of relief when his indigo eyes notice you sound asleep.

he smiles shyly at your intertwined hands. he brings them closer to his face, pressing a sweet kiss on each of your knuckles, careful not to wake you up and give you a bit more time to rest.

even though you've expressed multiple times that you hate it - Dain can't stop guarding you right after awakening himself. He won't get back to sleep no matter what, keeping an eye out on the possible danger. He's aware that you don't like it - but he can't let anything happen to you, not even a scratch if he's nearby. You're everything he has left. He's lost everything else and despite being aware of the strength that gods possess, he's willing to cross blades with them if it meant extending your life more in return.

he always shifts your resting body on his - sometimes just your head on his lap so you can sleep a bit more comfortably, or entirely, so he keeps you secure between his legs, using his chest as a pillow and having his arms wrapped around you tightly.

"Good morning, my star. How was your sleep? Did you have any pleasant dreams?" is his daily mantra he says when he sees you arise. Next, Dain caresses your lips with his own in a tender kiss. if you decide that you feel cheesy that morning, answer something along these lines: "it seems like I haven't awoken from my pleasant dream yet." his cheeks will flush cherry red, hand flying to cover the blush immediately; even if you can't see it, you know it worked. it always does.

Dainsleif might not be kazuha-tier when it comes to cooking, so he prefers to take you to various taverns for your first meal if it's possible (yes, he's in mom-mode when it comes to breakfast and won't stop until you eat, because "breakfast must not be skipped. it's the most important meal!"). however, when that option isn't available, he prepares you a meal himself. some recipes are long forgotten, they taste like nothing else you've eaten before - they taste bizarre at first, but later on dain finally hits the jackpot and discovers your favorite. while your stomach gets filled with khaenri'ahn delicacies, his chest almost suffocates with the warmth and he watches you with twinkling eyes and the most tender smile.

Alhaitham:

this man. he ZOOMS out of bed as soon as the alarm rings. immediately puts on half of his clothes. when he's about to leave the room... he comes back near the bed, gives you a quick kiss on the forehead, and then moves to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and your favorite drink.

he really wants to avoid Kaveh. he will NOT deal with him in the morning, nuh uh. unless he can make his day a bit worse than Kaveh anticipates...

either way, he lets you sleep 20 more minutes. the exact moment the clock on his wall hits 7:20am, he returns to your shared room and gently shakes you to wake you up. if you don't comply, he just takes you bridal style to the kitchen and sits you on his lap, regardless of whether you still sleep.

he loves pressing you tightly to his chest, inhaling the fresh scent of your laundry detergent and your own, natural one; he hides his face in your neck, closing his eyes. his lips connect with your neck and leave a trail of kisses, while his defined arm tightens around your waist. perhaps that will wake you up?

hearing Kaveh entering the kitchen and greeting you (and mumbling something to him too, but clearly not genuine) he looks at him with a slight annoyance. Kaveh merely lets out a "hmph" sound, clearly unaware of what Alhaitham is about to do. the scribe locks eyes with him shortly before going back to kissing your neck, but this time marking you; the obscene noises cause you to immediately awaken if you haven't, and Kaveh storming out of the room with a blush, muttering curses under his breath. Alhaitham only chuckles as you turn your head to face him, "good morning, love. you've finally woken up. we have to leave soon, so hurry up and drink it before it gets cold like last time."

on his day off, his day starts similarly - he wakes up a bit later though, but still needs his morning coffee. with the steaming drink on his nightstand, he joins you back below the cozy sheets, sitting down with his back against the headboard. he glances at you one last time and kisses your lips ever so slightly, the touch so tender that you barely register it; then, his eyes are glued to the book in hand he's been reading for a few days. if you wish, he'll gladly have you between his legs and let you snore on his chest - you don't even have to say a thing - he automatically rises his arm and waits for you to move without moving his eyes from the book. once you've settled comfortably, he pulls up the duvet and puts his chin on your head (and occasionally rubs your back gently, but denies it. even if you catch him. every time).

[captain-kaeya-alberich]

🔥 Gestalt ❄️

[Part 1]

Kaeya felt like a criminal with how much the man glared at him in the meeting room. He shifted his attention to the papers in front of him as he tried to skim the details. His lawyer and friend, Yanfei, had highlighted and annotated the legalese in words he'd better understood.

«They want you to remove your parental rights/guardian status. The legal work only views you as extended family, not immediate.»

A nervous chuckle as he murmured something about never realizing how serious raising a literal baby could be. Trying to calm as Vespera's giggle could be heard in the room.

"Oh, I hope my son doesn't scare you too much. He's just upset that he's missed out on the formative years of his own daughter's life!" Mr. Ragnv- er, Crepus chimed in as he cuddled his granddaughter. Paying little attention to the tension of the room and more to the little girl on his lap. "We were surprised his file was compromised after a medical malpractice report. No one was supposed to use his material as a genetic option."

Kaeya had no idea what to make of the talk. He wasn't Kahalin. He had no idea what her experience was like. Didn't know she had done so until she excitedly shared the news that she had a viable pregnancy. Always thought Kahalin would be there … Always thought he would just be the fun uncle …

He feels like a stranger in the room. He was just the uncle, not the father. … But now he was the one raising her. He became her guardian, but did that make him her father or uncle? He's only had her for less than a year, not even getting to her birthday before being sued for custody. It was stressful. Did he even have a case against a literal celebrity? Fuck Barbatos, Vespera is a celebrity's baby.

"Thank you for the input, but I would like for us to reach an agreement on how Vespera's life should be moving forward." Yanfei consoled as Kaeya feels like he should shrink in his chair.

Truthfully, Kaeya would bluntly state Vespera stays with him. Honestly, Kaeya would prefer Diluc to be slowly introduced to his daughter. And blasphemously, Kaeya disregards all reason and says Diluc should be his boyfriend, and they all become a happy family, avoiding all this trouble. But that would be stupid thinking.

"I am sure it is upsetting to learn late of Vespera's existence. However, I would prefer that the two of you eased into her life slowly." Kaeya responded carefully as he marked off lines in the papers. Not caring if her father disapproved of his actions.

"I will not be giving up my parental rights just because I am an uncle. I have raised her in my sister's place, and Vespera is my kid." He stated sternly as he looked at Diluc and the man's lawyer. Showing he will not be bullied to lose someone he loves. "We'll share custody evenly, or I will fight to keep her solely."

Diluc frowned at his words but said nothing, thinking it over before sighing. Crepus seemed to have a sad smile, but Kaeya felt like it wasn't over his preferences.

"Have it your way. Our lawyers will work with the alterations of the copy you have in your hands. Let's do what is best for Vespera." Diluc announced as he got up to leave, however, going over to his father to help the man up. Holding his daughter as the senior Ragnvindr got onto his feet.

The sight of Vespera's real father holding her broke something inside Kaeya. Cementing a sadness that's dripped deeper and deeper.

The traits that used to be just Vespera's were now Diluc's.

'I'm not really her father.' Is all Kaeya can despair as the other man passes the toddler to him.

"We'll be in touch." Diluc notes before wavering a bit, clearing his throat to speak. "Thank you for caring for her and I- I'm sorry for your loss."

As if the weigh in his heart broke into light itself. Kaeya couldn't express how hearing that changed his judgment of the other. Maybe Diluc really was not that vindictive as he thought he was.

"…Thank you for that…" Is all Kaeya can say, feeling a bit confused when Crepus pats Kaeya's shoulder.

"Ignore my son's rigidness, we're family now, so don't be shy to visit."

The young heir seems to blush at his father's words.

'Cute.' Kaeya thought as he and Yanfei left the facilities, droning out the environment as he lamented on these new changes… Diluc was cute. But cute did not remove the part where he wanted to take the last piece of his sister away.

"Let's go home, Vespi."

[vashatxt]

writing blog: rules & requests (kpop, hyv games!)

my askbox is currently open for requests for drabbles, headcanons, most-to-leasts, scenarios, reactions and general chitchat about the interests/topics i have listed below. i write both sfw and nsfw content, and i ask that minors do not interact with anything i post.

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navigation around my blog should be fairly simple as all posts are tagged by ‘shipname’ and either ‘shipname fluff/smut’, or 'character x reader' / 'character imagine' - but if you need help finding anything in particular just reach out. i'll make a masterlist once my blog is more populated as i'm starting fresh!

the ships & characters i write for are;

genshin (bolded are otps and will prob be filled quicker bc motivation!!) CANDACE - dehya x candace GANYU - ganyu x keqing JEAN - jean x lisa KAEYA - kaeya x lumine AYAKA - ayaka x yoimiya KEQING - keqing x ganyu, keqing x lumine SARA - sara x kokomi LISA - lisa x jean RAIDEN - ei x yae miko KOKOMI - kokomi x sara, kokomi x yae miko, kokomi x lumine, kokomi x yoimiya CHILDE - childe x lumine LUMINE - lumine x childe, lumine x jeht, lumine x xiao, + lumine x most female characters (just ask!) XIAO - xiao x lumine YAE MIKO - yae x ei, yae x lumine, yae x kokomi YOIMIYA - yoimiya x ayaka, yoimiya x kokomi ZHONGLI - zhongli x guizhong DEHYA - dehya x dunyarzad, dehya x candace CYNO - cyno x lumine

honkai: star rail (bolded are otps and will prob be filled quicker bc motivation!!) KAFKA - kafka x blade, kafka x himeko, kafka x stelle BLADE - blade x kafka STELLE - stelle x march, stelle x kafka, stelle x most female characters, stelle x sampo JING YUAN - jingyuan x blade MARCH 7TH - march x stelle SERVAL - serval x stelle, serval x cocolia BRONYA - bronya x seele SAMPO - sampo x stelle honkai impact 3rd IT'S PRETTY HARD TO MAKE A LIST HERE i ship p much every wlw ship and also kevsu..... lmao but my otps are: sakukallen, kiamei, fuki, fukimei, elyeden, elymei, kevsu, bronseele

k-pop (girl groups only, only members over 18, ship & x reader ok!)

note: i only write wlw content here. le sserafim, ive, aespa, tripleS, gfriend

you can request other groups too, just be aware i may take a bit longer with them!

i'm good on lots of different tropes, aus, canon divergences etc - really no limit on the sfw prompts and requests, let your imagination run wild! i LOVE writing alternate universe stuff so dont be shy

i do not write nsfw for any ambiguously aged characters/lolis/etc and that should go without saying. however i do see characters such as lumine and stelle as adults. block if uncomfy w that.

i write f/f, f/m, and reader/character. trans reader/character is of course fine, and i like a lot of fem!versions of ships such as fem soukoku, kevsu, etc so seriously don't be afraid, i'll do anything!!

THE ONLY MLM SHIPS I WRITE FOR ARE KEVIN X SU (HI3) AND JING YUAN X BLADE (HSR). I WILL NO LONGER BE WRITING MLM OTHERWISE.

I CAN WRITE ALL DYNAMICS, SWITCH IS FINE FOR ALL MY SHIPS

this is a kink/fetish friendly space. i will write most things as long as they’re not explicitly on my 'NOPE’ list. some of the things people ask about often that i am comfortable writing are;

armpit fetish blood play body worship electrostim fisting foot and armpit fetish general BDSM themes such as impact play, degradation, and D/s dynamics hybrids knife play omorashi pet play polyamory public sex watersports cnc gun play high school aus (sfw only) yandere aus somnophilia

i will NOT write;

rape scenes incest (including fantasy incest + step-cest) anything that’s literally illegal - i should hope this goes without saying.

please don’t send the same prompt multiple times - it’s likely in my asbox waiting for me to get to it, so try to be patient. if you’re genuinely concerned that tumblr has swallowed your request alive please reach out to me off-anon so that i can confirm whether i’ve received your message or not. i won’t judge anyone for their prompts, i promise. <333

[zhongrin]

These guys are attention seekers lmao

Kaeya will probably just sit on the couch and call me every five seconds just to say “Oh, nothing. Just wanted to hear your lovely voice.” That guy, honestly!

Keqing will be ask me very unnecessary questions and will ask me to repeat certain statements again. “To clarify, these resin will be for Mora? The mora used for currency and talents? Our mora?”

Yanfei will probably rattle off the certain housing violations the teapot has lmao. “You know, according to Article 6 in Fontaine, this house should be at least six stories tall-“

Wanderer is just an angry cat. Pulling my hair and pinching my cheeks wherever, whenever. “It’s quite amusing to see you yelp when I pull on your hair. How childish.” Like BRO YOU’RE LITERALLY THE CHILDISH ONE-

Also also, pet names!

Kaeya: my love because my boy deserves all the love.

Keqing: bae because keqing is babygirl and I will not take any criticism

Yanfei: my girl because AAAAAA yanfei is best girl

Wanderer: the other name I named him. Because it flusters him so bad AHAHAH.

I wonder what the others think when I call one by a pet name tho. Like:

“HOLY SHIT MY LOVE YOU HIT 20k!”

“Ahaha, thank you, my dear Esther.”

“…”

“…”

“…pathetic.”

Oh yeah, the yandere signs about them? I dunno, they seem pretty normal to me.

Kaeya’s talking to me for like, 4 hours straight I suppose. Man that guy never runs out of topics.

Keqing sleeps on my lap because she says she’s sleep deprived. Hey, gal pals, right? No homo.

Yanfei is very clingy, like, hugging me from the back and kissing my neck and stuff. Maybe its an adepti greeting?

And Wanderer…well, he’s probably the most normal. He just cusses me every time i breathe in his general direction and is a ridiculous manhandler. And by manhandling i mean trapping me against the wall.

Wanderer: the other name I named him.

wait now i'm curious what did you name him lmao-

no i get you zhongli talks 24/7 and never runs out of topic. it's lovely tho bc it means there's never an awkward silence and i don't need to think of a topic for a conversation, which is a godsend?? it's totally normal to just. sit on someone's lap and listen to him talk for 4 hours+ straight... right?

and yes, back hugs, neck kisses, and thigh fondles seem to be some ancient liyue custom according to zhongli. yanfei must be doing it to you bc she's part adeptus and a cultured woman!! <3

'no homo' sure yeah comrade we all know how that one's gonna end up- #sus #yeshomo #lovewhoyouwannalovebuddy

[corruptedkaeya]

favourite character(s) and reasons for liking them? c:

VEGETA OBVI: he went from a freaking planet destroying monster and not to mention he killed families just for the hell of it to protecting earth, a place he tried to destroy twice, and having a family with Bulma, who he tried to kill 😭. He went from villain to hero

kaeya: good back story,very sus, and he looks so god damn hot.

childe: war criminal, hot, has a lot of trauma

suzaku: he literally joined the people who destroyed the Japanese and he killed his dad and his good friendship with lulu

lulu: anti hero, every thing about him is good (i could make 4 essays about him like vegeta😭)

zuko: Prince, criminal, anti hero to hero, his friendship with aang

hunter: trauma, tragic backstory,corrupted form

darcy: let's rumble, girlfriend, crazy criminal

catra: chipped catra, went from a villain to hero

(there's more but it will be like 3 essays long 😭)

(not to mention i tried to make this short🤧)

[rainebowkitty]

saw ur ask thing

u know what I'm gonna say

A-

I THINK THIS IS THE POST THIS ASK WAS MEANT FOR AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO IT A YEAR OR SO LATER LMFAO I'M SO SORRY MARO

Answers under cut cuz they're all kinda long ^^

First impression: Too cool for school tbh. Like the best comparison I have for it is hearing people hype up the quarterback for like a high school football team in a movie and thinking to yourself, "He's an idiot, isn't he?" The kinda guy that's liked for the shallowest of reasons—either his looks or what he can get people rather than his skills or personality. Perhaps not a fraud... but not all that impressive either. This is all cuz of how he was introduced before his teasers came out. All we had to judge him off of was all the other characters' talking him up in their voice lines, so before he actually dropped, I was just sitting there thinking to myself god, is he really all that they're making him out to be or is it the fact that Mondstadt has no mandatory education program? I was sure I wouldn't be caught in his web.

Impression now: Well, I dropped $100 on him back in the day during his first banner, so I think we all know what I thought of him after I actually got the chance to MEET him

Favorite moment: God that's a toughie tbh... I know you hate that all of his appearances are limited events but I personally LOVE that fact because it means that everyone who's never played the game just hearing people talk him up probably all have the same first impression that I did LMAO. But if I have to pick a moment... well... "Destroy Mondstadt, destroy everything." is PROBABLY when I fell in love with him? Just realizing how lonely and isolated he is because he didn't know how to connect with people is so relatable too, and with the addition of Dragonspine at the time when we were bone dry for content? Yeah, I think that's gotta be my fave moment, though him stabbing his double was pretty hot too LMFAO

Idea for a story: I have this really goofy (but also angsty at the right times) story in my drafts that I never finished where Diluc and Kaeya have to actually get along with each other for once to Sus Out his Susiness™

Unpopular opinion: This is more of a headcanon than anything, but do you guys ever think that his modesty originates from a rather forced place? Like I imagine he was super cold and unemotional about most things while with Rhinedottir, just solely thinking about his own efficiency and results more than his feelings. So what if he wasn't always the kind of guy to gently brush off any declarations of him being a genius? What if, before he started uncovering the natural beauty of the world for what it is rather than what it gets him, he wasn't very good at gracefully accepting compliments? Someone would say he's good at something and he responds with a toneless, "Naturally." I mean, to back this up, his vision story quite literally says he was not surprised to receive one. Maybe Timaeus was the ultimate test when it came to having patience with the slower people in a similar field as him LMFAO

Favorite relationship: Kaebedo for life.

...Wait, you mean canonically? Fine then, him being Klee's big brother is my favorite thing ever. Being pen pals with Scara is pretty great too though LMFAO ty Irodori festival

Favorite headcanon: In that story I have in my drafts, I have a part where he practically dives under a table to grab a snack—said snack being a spider. Or maybe the one where Klee gets into the habit of doing his braids for him. Or maaaaybe the one where Rhinedottir just left him all alone to figure it out on his own one day because she realized she was actively hindering him from becoming as human as she'd like him to be with her frigid teachings and meticulous nature. Because if he's not human enough, he's a failure, of course.

Anyway... That was a lot LMAO. Sorry for typing so much and to anyone who read this, I hope you enjoyed LMFAO

[aromanticasterisms]

(1/2) If you’re interested, what do you think of the theory that Varka (or any of the kof with critical thinking skills) suspect that Kaeya is a Fatui spy turned double agent? Tumblr won't let me send the link, but...

(2/2) Tl;dr he got dropped next to a rich family that later got involved with a Delusion and a Fatui ploy to gain influence, Diluc for physically fought him and not Eroch after The Incident, he has espionage skills he never got from Crepus, he immediately spotted actual (unintentional) Fatui agent Collei, and he looks like the 1st Harbinger. Sus, but ironically, none of these clues point to the actual truth.

I've genuinely never heard of this theory before, and honestly I don’t really see the point of it at all.

First of all, almost none of the information provided here is stuff that is common knowledge among the knights?

The whole thing with the Delusion wasn’t discovered until recently, and most of the suspicion from that discovery seemed to be directed at Diluc, since he’s the one that, nowadays, everyone knows as Crepus’s son. As far as most of them are concerned, his death was an unfortunate accident that the Fatui tried to take advantage of because that's what they do, probably one of many seeing as Ursa the Drake was plaguing Mond for literal centuries.

I highly doubt that Kaeya really went to anyone after that night and told them what Diluc did. like…he keeps his thoughts on what happened in a box hidden inside a wall above the Knights of Favonius headquarters; he’s not exactly in the habit of talking about his feelings.

Plus, if he went around telling people about it, his options would be tell them why Diluc attacked him or incriminate Diluc for attacking him without cause. Neither of those are options for him; he doesn’t blame Diluc for what happened and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him, and after getting his Vision, he’s consigned himself to living behind the guise of lies, never coming clean about his origins to anyone else again.

And yes, I would presume Kaeya has espionage skills he didn’t get from Crepus because he’s been in Mondstadt for ten to fourteen years and been working as a knight for quite a large portion of that. Not every skill one learns is learned from one’s parents; as far as the knights are concerned, some people are just naturally inclined to certain types of work, and Kaeya seems to be quite good at this kind of thing. And we don’t have any evidence that Kaeya was doing any sort of espionage work when he arrived at the Ragnvindr estate, so this is kind of a moot point.

Kaeya immediately pinpointing Collei as a possible perpetrator also isn't common knowledge. Amber knows that he was picking on her friend and then the two of them got into a fight, but other than that no one really knows he made any sort of connection that fast.

Also, unintentional Fatui agent Collei? Did we read the same manga? She literally murdered a bunch of Fatui diplomats. Just because she was experimented on and the Fatui tried to take advantage of what she did to gain power doesn’t mean she’s aligned with them. What.

And again, the knights don’t know that she killed anyone. Kaeya, Diluc, and Amber [and I guess Cyno, but he doesn’t really apply here] are the only ones who are aware of her involvement, as they’re the ones who helped cover it up for her.

Lastly, I don’t think Pierro’s appearance is exactly common knowledge among literally anyone in Teyvat outside of the Tsaritsa and the Harbingers. The man seems kind of reclusive, so I don’t think this is really a genuine point worth considering.

And honestly, I don’t really see the point in looking at Kaeya and going “what if everyone was suspicious of him, but like, for the wrong reasons” when pretty much nobody in game is that suspicious of him at all. Amber is the only one who comes close, but really only seems to be wary of him because of what happened with Collei in the manga. Like,, this is the city of freedom. Even if someone, somewhere, got it in their heads that he was a Fatui spy at one point, who cares? He genuinely cares for Mond and its people and does everything he can to protect it. I don’t think anyone would think that way about him.

Overall, this theory is a bit of a reach and I don’t see what substance it provides to the characters or the story as a whole.

[sherlocked-hobbit-in-gallifrey]

is it at all significant that kaeya's japanese name is ガイア like gaia like the primordial deity of the earth?? and aether is the upper sky apparently.......does it all mean anything or am i going insane.....it's not like he's geo........

[rosesanthology]

gacha game go brr

[bitwynn]

weird kind-of-kind-of-not sagau fic idea that i might make myself LOL

isekaied reader/guide introduces them to Among Us. Specifically to the Mondstat Vision Holders. Everyone goes fUCKING FERAL for the duration of the game-- maybe even AFTER the game AHAHAHA

and like-- god im just imagining this specific scenario where you recreate the amongus maps in ur teapot so you guys could play irl and albedo or tubby develops a teapot leisure device specifically for it so you guys could ACTUALLY FOR REAL PLAY AMONG US IRL IN THE TEAPOT

everyones wearing the suits and they got the tablets with the report button and emergency meeting buttons and everything, and albedo figures out how to stream it to the rest of Teyvat-- with everyones different povs and things and everyones just rooting for everyone and ISERHLgFSLERHJkG

okay wow-- i got sO OFF WHAT I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO SAY AHAHAH but hey at least i set some ground rules first AHAHA

but yeah. so, imagine this--

this game of among us is composed of the knights and also Venti. So thats Diluc, Kaeya, Jean, Amber, Lisa, Albedo, Sucrose, Eula, Noelle, and of course Venti. The map here in this scenario is irrelevant but, I do have to say that the "additional roles" of Scientist, Engineer, Shapeshifter, and Guardian Angel have also been added and are all implemented into this game.

the first round? rotation? whatever you call it is actually pretty eventful with Albedo, Noelle and Venti already dead. Its actually really alarming since even if its just a game, Albedo actually takes this game REALLY SERIOUSLY and shows off his skill as the captain of the investigation team. hes the actually legit detective player-- one of his greatest plays actually being how he immediately figured out who the imps are bEFORE the game even started and bEFORE ANYONE DIED. The imps that game were very annoyed (playful) to say the least.

Noelle getting got is also like-- really serious since, as everyone knows, shes very helpful. a little too helpful. when she fully trusts someone, she will do everything she can to keep them alive and safe. and if that someone is sus abt someone, she is determined to help them figure out whether or not that person is an impostor or not. ultimate crewmate basically. one of her more "scary" plays is when she unwittingly became third impostor and LITERALLY BROUGHT EVERYONE TO THEIR DEATHS. THATS HOW HELPFUL SHE IS. god she felt SO BAD afterwards but it was a good name nonetheless.

The imps killing Venti off early meant that they werent playing around anymore, because that man has the GREATEST SOUL READ OUT OF EVERYONE. helps that hes also god but we dont talk abt that and also he cant use his archon powers to cheat LOLLL. One of his most memorable moments is how before they even started the game, he cORRECTLY PREDICTED WHO THE IMPS WOULD BE THAT ROUND. when the imps received their roles, they were definitely a bit more than shocked. in that same game, he just voted the two imps to break the tie for shit and giggles. and thats how they won the game. crack energy was strong in that one LOL.

The fear and distrust is rampant the whole discussion time, with Amber and Sucrose lowkey and highkey respectively panicking, Eula making hasty assumptions, Lisa challenging those assumptions, Diluc and Kaeya at each others throats, and Jean trying and failing to get things under control. They did nOT get anywhere during that and all begrudgingly voted to skip despite being at everyones throats. everyones suspecting everyone and the only people there who are FOR SURE innocents are Amber or Sucrose.

this is because, while they both may be lousy at being imps, they still act mostly the same both as imps and crews-- aka trying their best to be helpful and win. they're both usually kinda bad at lying. not that theyre bad, its just that theyre not good and you can usually tell if theyre truthing or not by the amount of information they provide and how eager and confident they are abt it. using that knowledge, they all simultaneously agree to shadow those two everywhere since they can tell that yes, they are crewmates, yes amber did watch sucrose fumble the id card 15 times because she keeps dropping it or doing it too fast or slow, yes sucrose did the vials first before walking around the map a bit to find her next task.

so thats what happens-- they split up into group amber and sucrose and go on opposite sides of the map. and then the sabotage happens. the lights die. the amber group, consisting of, of course, amber, jean and diluc, is closer and they rush to lights where team sucrose hadnt reached yet. they all pile up into a group and pull up the lights interface. and as they set it down, theyre immediately greeted by eula reporting a dead body and amber screaming.

after jean manages to get everyone down to a respectable volume, she asks for everyone to give their testimony since she had the interface up. amber nervously says that since there were so many people at lights already, she decided to not fix it but instead watch out for any impostors that might make a move. but when she saw the blood splatter, she couldnt see who did it clearly since they were at the edge of her visibility which is when she immediately rushed forward and spammed the report button.

eula backs her up and them immediately accuses lisa of killing sucrose, off the bar that the second the lights went off she had lagged behind. lisa is greatly offended, talking about how shes targeting her since the first round with no solid basis and eula strikes back with her saying something that lisa did in the first round that made her look sus. and then diluc and kaeya start rilling it up by backing the side that they were with the most, diluc backing lisa and kaeya backing eula even if they only saw the other in passing. it gets real petty REAL fast. literally the only reason diluc is backing lisa is because while jean is trying her best to be fair, she obviously favors lisa a bit more while kaeya siding with eula is more reasonable because they actually spent time together.

it ends with amber tying the votes since despite trusting jeans judgement, all eula had done was back her up and let her voice be heard in the two times theyve had discussions and proven herself to be innocent-- lisa got voted out by kaeya and eula and amber, and eula got voted out by jean and diluc and lisa. the second their screens fade back to the table they all realize that theres gonna be no rounds left since they havent figured out who one of the imps are and theres only six of them left. all it takes is for them to kill two and its over.

they all decide to separate and spread themselves as far as they can throughout the ship to get their tasks done as fast as they can. and as amber and jean start to walk out of medbay and are greeted by kaeya and diluc suddenly appearing in the back of the room, they know that the brothers have won.

everyone is screaming when the impostor win screen pops up, featuring diluc and kaeyas beans. literally NOONE expected them to win, considering the fact that they have been at each others throats the whole time both ingame and irl. fucking NOONE expected them to just-- quietly team up to MASSACRE the entire ship. because really-- who WOULD expect it??

their entire among us game history is just them bickering with each other, it gets like-- really kind of emotional and concerning sometimes-- theyve gotten banned from playing multiple times since the whole "being an impostor" thing has very similar connotations with being a spy from another country and we aLL KNOW HOW THAT WENTTTT

the synergy between the two-- ugh--

eula is just mad she accidentally became the third impostor. AGAIN.

oh yeah, kaeya was the shapeshifter. the first kill in the first round was a double kill with venti and noelle. diluc vented out of the scene but popped up in a room where albedo was but his cooldown was still going so he just did his best to try and herd him away from the button and hope that he runs into kaeya. and fortunately kaeya does run into them, and a bit of hope blooms in albedos heart which was then promptly crushed by kaeya murdering his ass. he then watches as he turns into venti and they both leave the scene. from the second he knew they were working together, he knew they were screwed. but he does respect using the quiet expectation that they would never get along to their advantage.

the bickering did have some actual heat behind it though since diluc obviously almost fucked them in the ass when he vented infront of bedo AHAHA

[witch-hazels-musings]

Hi how is your day going? I'd like to do a reading of coffee, with symbols of star, square, and ladder with kaeya! Thank you ♡

aroma: coffee (domestic) | symbols: square (comfort), star (protection), ladder (travel), ax (problems overcome), birds (accomplishments)

:: kaeya x KnightofFav!gn reader | spice - sfw - fluff | tasseography event | combined request

“Anything else you’d like to share,” Kaeya hummed while his fingers carded through your hair. You’d drifted off in the last few minutes, the energy from your stories losing their luster as he pampered you with attention. Safe to say you missed this, missed him, and it was so obvious that Kaeya was likely to tease you about it for several days. 

“Mmm, I’m sure there is but ... distracted.” Repositioning on his stomach, you shifted until your arms no longer threatened you to fall asleep. You lifted one arm up his side and let your fingers rest on the white shirt he was wearing, the tip of your middle finger caressing his skin, while your other hand dangled off the edge of the couch. 

In your childhood you never would’ve let a part of you be exposed to the mysteries in the shadows, but with Kaeya under you and his gaze watching over you, there wasn’t anything you were afraid of in this moment. Everything was perfect. The warmth of the blanket over your legs, the pressure of the couch cushions against your chest, the protection of his legs on either side of you while his fingers running through your hair. You were perfectly content and grateful to be home after such an exhausting trip. 

“Should I stop so you can finish regaling me with your tales?” 

“mmm, no.” Kaeya chuckled and you felt it against your cheek. With a pleased kiss against his covered stomach, you did your best to tell him a little more. “I’ve really told you most everything.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Yea - oh! Okay. So remember when I talked about the strange ley line anomalies?” 

“Now how could I forget? Didn’t you spend the entirety of dinner talking about the Chief Alchemists and his investigations.” 

“Oh yeah, right.” 

“Truth be told, I was getting a little jealous.” 

“W-really?” Lifting your head off him, you evaluated his expression to try and sus out if he was being serious or not. Kaeya wasn’t easily turned to jealousy - honestly, when did he have the time when it was obvious by how much he touched you that you were taken. 

“Oh yes. In fact, I’ll need some proof that you haven’t been persuaded into he arms of another.”

“--Kae, I’m literally laying on top of you, in our house.” 

“Archons, you just never know with these things.” 

“Stop it,” you smacked his thigh and he squeezed you with his legs. His teasing never knew when to quit and through your laughter, you tried to get back on track, “Didn’t you want to hear more of my adventures?” 

“Oh yes, do go on,” he replied, legs relaxing, fingers resuming their movement across your hair. 

“Mmhm - anyway,” you drew out the last word before thinking on where you were in your story before Kaeya cut you off. “Oh - so we figured that they are tied primarily to anemo. It’s almost like a chaotic and unstable reaction occurs and the element collapses in on itself, drawing in power from the surrounding environment. It’s strange because that energy seems to draw in enemies but when you disrupt the flow everything blasts back out.” 

“How very intriguing.”

“It is! I know I’m not a scientist or anything, but this could be a huge development for the knights. Who knows what we could accomplish if we managed to figure out what is at the pin-point of this reaction.” Suddenly, you pushed yourself up. Kaeya made sure you didn’t topple off the couch while you spiritedly continued, “Albedo thinks this could be big, and since he saw how interested in it I was, he’s invited me to continue researching it with him! This might mean I can finally work with the research institute!” The smile on your face spread so wide you could hardly stop yourself from shaking.

This had always been your dream. Somewhere in your Knights of Favonious training you wished you had taken the time to work with the Alchemists but never found the time. When you were assigned to travel with the Chief Alchemist himself you were elated but never imagined he would be so patient, or observant. In the last few weeks working alongside him, you learned so much and now you were finally making steps toward your dream. 

Kaeya smiled back at you, his eyes shifting to each of your own. He shook his head slightly, hair jostling over his forehead. You flashed a look at the scar across his eye before jostling the the couch to get more of a reaction out of him. 

“So, what do you think --? Do I have hope?” 

“It would be outright foolish for them not to consider you an honorary member; if they don’t have enough proof, I will gladly show them the piles and piles and piles of books lying about.” 

“Kae--” 

Kaeya pulled you toward him and you settled on his chest while he wrapped his arms around you. The hands you placed under your chin were just within his reach to place several quick kisses. “I’ll do a little investigating, but if Albedo said as much, rest assured it’ll happen.”

Giddy, on the verge of excited hysteria, you pushed your toes into the cushion so you could press a deep, happy kiss to Kaeya’s lips. “I’m going to go write up some ide-aah, heyy.” 

“Not yet.” 

“Come on --” 

Kaeya tightened his grip and rolled onto the floor in one fell swoop that you became disoriented. The plush rug caught you while Kaeya’s arms kept you captured beneath him. “Now, now,” he began as his nose brushed across your cheek, “leaving already?” 

“I though I could -” you saw his serious, hopeful expression and it finally hit you. Excited or not, it was obvious that Kaeya missed you too. “I guess that can wait.” 

“Wonderful, and I do recall mentioning something about being jealous.” 

Your hands found his exposed arms, his white shirt hung off him giving you a peak at his toned chest. You shifted, but didn’t try and move away. “Mmm, how can I ease your worries then o’ Calvary Captain.” 

“See now I have so many ideas,” he hummed as his fingers danced across your neck, “however will I choose?” 

“I’ve got all evening,” you replied in a light, airy tone. 

He kissed your nose and a shiver ran down your spine, “How fortunate,” he hummed while you wrapped your arms around him. 

all works & ideas created by Hazel, recreations, reposts not allowed even with credit provided |  @burnishedcrown

[cinnamonest]

I don't know where this is coming from and I'm sorry for what I'm about to subject you to but it must be said. Some of the boys + their obnoxious/weird/nasty habits that will mindbreak you faster than anything else they can do to you from sheer annoyance.

(Also this is not an attack on anyone lol I'm guilty of several of these myself, pretend they have complex writing utensils)

----

Xingqiu writes with brush for like, elaborate things and tradition, but in everyday life he uses a pen. And he does the pen-clicking thing. Like he'll be thinking up what to write down, you're just trying to go to sleep on the opposite side of the room but your eyes bolt open at the click click click click over and over again. You can tell him and he'll stop, but it's subconscious, so it lasts maybe ten minutes before he starts doing it again.

Also, he makes sounds while he reads. Like that one idle line where he's like reacting to whatever he reads. Little gasps and murmurs and vocalizations. Like literally this. Once again, he'll stop if you tell him to, and then he'll forget and go back to it.

Also just the bragging. He's humble to most people, but you have to know how rich his family is and how he's vanquished like a thousand lowlifes on the road. You're entirely certain he's making that up, but you don't think it's worth it to confront. In fact, a solid 80% of the stories and accomplishments he tells you about sound entirely made-up, and the rest sound extremely exaggerated. That doesn't stop him from consuming a very large portion of your time with it though.

----

Kaeya has a similar problem where he cannot sit still for extended periods of time, so like. In meetings and the like, he tends to do the rapid-leg-bouncing thing, except due to the shape of the chairs and the angle he holds his legs at, his heels are tapping the edge of the chair every. Single. Time. And then is constantly shifting positions, causing a slight disturbance each time. There's just the droning voice of whoever is speaking, and then about every thirty seconds or so there's a shuffling, shifting, those slight sounds of movement from where one surface brushes against another. And then again. And again. And again.

And he. He has. Swiveling chairs. At home. He has one at his desk. He does the thing where he just swivels from side to side ever so slightly while working. Which is fine, except on the leftward swivel it creaks. And if you tell him to stop he just kinda says oh okay fine and stops, but then he goes back to the leg-tapping. And if you tell him to stop that, he starts drumming his fingers on the desk, doing the same thing in meetings where he shifts around all the time. And if you tell him to stop that, three minutes pass and it's back to the chair creaking.

Also the complaining. You thought Xingqiu's bragging was bad, this is infinitely worse. He has a sort of persona he feels the need to keep up around others, with a sort of charm and geniality, but the more comfortable he becomes with you the more he starts to use you as his personal therapist. Except not even really that, you're just an outlet to complain to. Like, it's annoying on its own because he goes on and on and on whining about every woe in his life, but overdramatically so, like everything that happens to him is the end of the world and some curse from higher powers determined to bring him ruin when he's describing the mildest inconvenience.

Also what makes it even worse is that half of the interpersonal conflicts he describes are literally his own fault. Like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't have done that and you wouldn't be in that situation? Or maybe it's not his fault but he's definitely making it worse by doing this or that? And then he's describing the supposed wrongs of another person, to which you squint and tell him like, yeah, that's a very normal thing to do? The world doesn't revolve around you sir? Which just upsets him, come on, you're supposed to be supportive :( and then you audaciously suggest that maybe in this or that situation he should be the bigger person and apologize?? Wow, you really give terrible advice. Okay, just be a good listener, then.

----

Xiao's habit isn't so much annoying as it is creepy? It's both really. You sleep a lot, there's not much better to do, and there's no windows and no light (he has a lantern but keeps it extinguished when he's gone because it's "dangerous"), so you wouldn't be able to do much anyway. He doesn't need to sleep, although he often does with you. But sometimes, he prefers to watch. As in, he comes back while you're asleep, sort of softly crawls over to get beside you on the bed, sits cross-legged and leans over and s t a r e s. He can, and regularly will, do this for hours. The thing is, people can sense being watched. Another thing is, his eyes have the slightest bit of a glow to them, for some reason. This is not a good combination.

You start feeling uneasy even in sleep, and gradually, slowly, finally open your eyes and...

Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to wake up and immediately open your eyes to the darkness of a windowless, lightless room, and only see these glowing, bright yellow eyes staring at you, bolted wide open? You've never felt your heart skip so badly, you shriek and jolt and scramble backwards. It takes a long time for your breathing and heart rate to go back to normal. And no matter how often it happens, you can't but react the same way, since you're always disoriented upon awakening. Not that he understands. Why did you do that. It's just him. Why are you so upset. Humans are so easily frightened.

He also just stares in general. Whenever you're allowed to move around a bit, you can feel the eyes on you at all times. He's not trying to hide it at all, just sits there and watches you go about your task. You feel eyes on you. Every. Waking. Second.

----

Razor is, to your horror, an open mouth chewer. If you are one of those people bothered or grossed out by eating/lip smacking/heavy swallowing sounds, you are going to be in abject suffering. It's literally hell because the wolves also eat very noisily, as animals tend to do, and he's no different. So once you're out in the woods with him and it's eating time you are surrounded by like 25 or so beings all making the same awful noises, in addition to the ripping sounds as they tear whatever unidentifiable thing that corpse once was apart.

Also, once he gets into human civilization more and starts eating more human food, you decide to start making things, try to introduce him to more food (the doctors that the knights had examine him said due to the meat-heavy diet, he's very lacking in some vital vitamins and nutrients he needs, so you try to help). But you have to perpetually remind him that 1) some food is not meant to be eaten with your hands or licked directly, please you've had the 'how to hold and use cutlery' lesson six times now and 2) napkins exist for a reason.

He forgets both of these. You turn your back and get up to get something for ten seconds and come back to him picking up handfuls of something like pasta and sauce or mashed potatoes with his bare hands and shoveling it into his mouth (except of course some misses and lands on the floor). And just when you think it can't get worse, he proceeds to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, and then his hand on his clothes or gods forbid the tablecloth. He liked it a lot though!! Normally in order to get such warm food, he has to eat it while it's still twitching :)

----

Gorou pants. He doesn't sweat, just like a dog, so likewise he has to sometimes just sit there and pant very rapidly after any exertion. And since he always wants to hold onto you, this means he's quite literally breathing down your neck. And yes, sometimes (read: often) this results in excess salivating, and yes, it drips down onto the back of your neck.

Also. The tail wags. At first you think it's cute, right? As most people do. He does it subconsciously when you're around. And as it turns out, a tail wagging makes noise, a lot of the time. When he sits on a bench or the grass or sand, it swishes against whatever he's sitting on and makes a noise. When he sits in chairs where the back is vertical pieces of wood with gaps in between, he usually maneuvers so that his tail is between the gaps, and the wagging makes a bumping noise with each swish, both ways. If he sits next to you, you feel it bump your hips and swish against your back with each passing second.

His tail wags in his sleep. This often results in it smacking your thighs if his back is turned to you. If not, it just makes a thumping against the mattress, which results in it pushing the blankets up with each wag and letting cold air get under the blanket. Either way it wakes you up multiple times per night. He also just does other things in his sleep. Little whining noises. His feet and hands twitch. So you won't really be going back to sleep anyway.

----

Diluc walks so heavily? You're not even sure how he can manage to make so much noise. You would think an elephant is walking down the hallway. You're once just trying to sleep (by yourself bc he had vigilante stuff to do), and wake up to what sounds like repetitive cannonfire siege, but no that's just the master of the house walking up the stairs.

He has nights where he's coming back by the time you've already gone to bed pretty frequently, either from said vigilante stuff or just working the bar when Charles is busy. But it's not just the walking, no, there's more. He doesn't do the "quietly opening the door to not wake the other person, shutting the bathroom door so that the light doesn't wake them up while you get ready for bed, tiptoe around to quietly crawl into bed" thing, no. He just swings the door wide open with full force. Actually he's still got the lantern in his hand, so you get woken up to bright light shining in your face. Sets the claymore down with a loud thunk that rattles the room. He stomps his way over to the bathroom connected to your room and turns the light on without shutting the door. Loudly runs water to brush his teeth or whatever, shuts the door shut harshly upon leaving, gets into bed on your side with a mumbled apology and crawls over you before letting his full weight crash onto the bed and making the mattress bounce.

Honestly it's not intentional, he just... Doesn't think. And if you tell him, he promises to fix the issue, but he only corrects the behaviors once or twice before forgetting and going back to it.

----

Venti has the exact opposite problem. He walks silently. You never hear him coming. And he knows this and likes to be a little bastard about it, so he likes to suddenly lunge into a hug from the back or grab your shoulders which generally results in a squeal and a stumble and nearly dropping if not actually dropping whatever is in your hands... Which is sometimes important stuff. There have been things broken this way, and once you nearly spilled boiling water.

Also, he tries to get out of everything, including causing such incidents, with the "cute" appeal. Sorry... He didn't mean to! He puts on that sad puppy face with the little lower-lip-pout and says he's sorry so please don't be mad at him. He'll help you clean it up. And a lot of times, it works on you, even though that irritates you.

Also he "borrows" things all the time without asking. Especially if he's coerced you into letting him live with you (most yanderes want to kidnap you to their place while this boy is trying to get you to take him in, sigh), he'll just kinda... Take stuff. Oh, you're looking for your pencil? Sorry, he borrowed it a little while ago. Well, since you'll be staying in here today, you won't be needing your coat, and since it's getting cold in Mondstadt this time of year he'll just snag that on his way out. Except half the time he forgets and even loses the stuff he borrows, and he never asks beforehand. Well, you were busy, so he figured it was fine.

This also unfortunately applies to food. Oh, you were gonna eat that? ....Whoops. For his tiny size, he eats more than his fair share. Your poor shelves, desolate and ransacked. Don't worry, he'll at least pay you back. Um... He doesn't have the money though... He can pay you by playing songs for you...?

----

Chongyun doesn't get very solid sleep. He wakes up a lot in the middle of the night. And if he's awake, you will be awake too. Not that it's done maliciously, he just does the little "hey... hey.... are you awake?" thing, so even if you weren't you are now.

But don't worry. He has a lot to talk about, so it's not as if he's waking you up for no reason. Very important matters.

Hey... What do you think stars are made of? And you know, he's never thought about it, but what does "thaumaturgy" literally mean, like parts of the word? What's your opinion of sunsettias? Superior or inferior to apples? Have you ever wished you could fly? That would be really cool don't you think? Maybe animals CAN talk but we just don't understand them. Maybe they understand us. Oh, but he's said some things to animals he wouldn't want them to know. He called this dog chubby, but like in a cute way, but what if he hurt its feelings? But if it understands him then he can apologize right?

But don't worry, he can take a hint. Oh, you're giving one word answers, just frustratedly mumbling I don't know. Sorry, is he annoying you? He'll stop. Oh, but, well, after just this one more thing. Last question. Okay, well, that actually leads to another question, so just one more, he'll let you sleep promise. Oh, but why do you have that opinion with which you answered the last question? Last one. Promise.

----

Childe stretches a lot, which isn't so bad in and of itself, except it often happens while sitting next to you and results in his arm thwaking you in the face. A lot of the time it's that type of stretch where you put your hands above your head and interlace the fingers, then move tilting the arms to one side so that one elbow is upward and the other downward and stretching the shoulder/arm muscles, then switch, except he ends up thumping the side of your head with his elbows. Stretches his arms behind his back, not realizing you were right there and you get arms to the face. Oh, and if you don't like knuckle/neck cracking sounds, you're in for a bad time. He does it literally all the time.

Also dear God this man snores. Atrociously so. It's unbearable. You can elbow him or something and he mumbles and shifts and within ten minutes he's back at it. Invest in earplugs.

Also he likes his rooms cold, whenever staying in a place where air temperature is adjustable (pretend they have something of the sort in some parts of Teyvat). Like unbearably cold. Like, 'no I don't want to have sex without being underneath the covers are you insane' cold. He insists it's not really bad. You're just sensitive. Besides you need to get used to the cold before you go home with him, so being forced to be naked in the cold room will help (and lead you to snuggle up close for body heat).

----

Albedo is apparently physically incapable of putting things back where they belong. He tends to be lost in thought a lot, his movements and actions operate on autopilot because he's got something more important or involved that he's trying to work through or think about in his head. This results in many, many things being misplaced if not left out. He forgets to put the caps back on pens/markers and they dry out, so he's getting new ones all the time.

But everything he works with is in complete disarrangement. All the jars and vials and containers are just sort of... loosely set on the shelves. They're not in any order, and they're not all facing the same way or pushed up together side-by-side or anything. Plenty are stacked on top of each other, except stacked to where only half the container is on top of the other and the other half is hanging off, sometimes bigger containers on top of smaller ones. The books are a nightmare, also just loosely stacked in a way that's not aligned with each other at all, and he tends to just stuff papers into books rather than get a folder. He also tends to work in shifts and will work a bit on this thing, then a bit on that thing... Except he forgets about the first thing and leaves it sitting out in the open, and yes this has ruined some experiments and forced him to start over. And yes, it has also resulted in a fire once that he had to ruin a blanket to snuff out... He's embarrassed by it so don't bring it up please. It was a small fire, okay?

And you try to help. Put stuff back, arrange things. But somehow, somehow, he manages to have it back in complete disarray within less than 24 hours. But he's really grateful you put it back in alphabetical order! Really helps, saves him the approximately 15 minutes a day he normally spends looking for things.

Also due to the whole lost-in-thought thing, you have to repeat yourself often. You'll be talking and talking and he's just mm-hmm-ing at everything you say and nodding, but you realize he's looking at something else in his hands... And of course after you finish there's a silence before he blinks a few times and "...mm? Did you say something?" And then you have to repeat... If he can manage to listen this time and you don't have to say it thrice, which yes, does happen.

----

Scaramouche is actually a nail-biter. It's a nerves-soothing habit. This doesn't seem too bad until you realize it makes a noise. Sometimes teeth connecting with whatever fingernails are made out of makes this awful, awful noise, makes you cringe like nails on a chalkboard.

Also this becomes rather unpleasant when it comes to touch because this boy's nails are jagged as hell. They feel like claws. So whenever you get your arm grabbed and dragged along it feels like someone sticking actual nails into your skin. He gets grabby in his sleep so yes now said claws are digging into your stomach. Ow.

And that's not all. Once he's out of fingernail to bite, it becomes pens. He's like, not consciously aware of it, doesn't really think about it, and will be kinda embarrassed if you ever point it out that literally the non-point end of every writing utensil he owns has been visibly chewed on. Literally has teeth indents all over. And yes he accidentally once bit too hard and got a mouthful of ink, but thankfully you were turned around doing something else and didn't witness it.

But honestly one of the most annoying things he does is interrupt. You cannot finish one sentence, especially if arguing. You can't ask a question before he's already giving you an answer, since it's obvious what the question is. You can't make a point without being told you're wrong halfway through what you were going to say. A lot of the time you just barely get out the "but I-" before you get an interruption to tell you otherwise, or a glare or just a hand over your mouth. He doesn't see an issue with it, even if you complain. Well, you're wrong, so there's no point in wasting precious time letting you finish when he can just go ahead and tell you you're wrong.

[lmaowhateven]

umodern au but its only the genshin pairs i care abt

some hcs under the cut or whatever 🙄 i have lots of thoughts

THOMIYA (dating)

Thoma 26 Yoimiya 24

-Thoma is the manager of a Kamisato Teashop. He grew up with Ayaka and has naturally been very close with the family. Unofficially adopted into the family and eager to help in the business :)

-Yoimiya is running her father's fireworks shop as he's getting to old to do everything himself. It's taking a lot longer than she thought it would, but currently she's trying to get a degree in business.

-The Kamisato Teashop and Nagonahara Fireworks are right next to eachother! Thoma and Yoimiya have known each other since middle school but they only recently started dating (Ayaka set them up on a blind date >:D)

-They are practically perfect together save for the fact that Thoma frequently picks up stray animals and volunteers at shelters, and Yoimiya is wildly allergic to animal fur.

BEIGGUANG (divorced/it's complicated)

Beidou 33 Ningguang 35

-Beidou use to be a prominent fish catcher and sailor, but within the last 5 years has quit her job and bought a houseboat where she lives with Kazuha (17) (her half adopted son/half roommate).

-Ningguang is a prolific CEO of a mining and trading company. She's built up the entire operation herself. She's also paying the mortgage on Beidou's houseboat.

-Beidou and Ningguang met in their early 20's and it was practically love at first sight. They got married within a year and stayed together for 4 years. Split up due to completely different lifestyles, but they can't stay away from each other for too long.

-There is nothing funnier to me than divorced beigguang but the relationship is so messy they can't help but come back to each other. It's not toxic they just need couples therapy and both are too proud to admit it. 😐

-My ideal for them is "I thought we'd be better off divorced but I'm literally so miserable without you." They are so messy so so so so messy in my head

CHAEYA (flirting)

Kaeya 24 Childe 25

((this one is a bit of a shitpost idea my other idea was smth inspired by killing eve because i love my gay bitches MESSY and PROBLEMATIC but i went with this one instead bc it was just tooooooo edgy and i didn't want to make kaeya work for the FBI or MI6 cause he's too sexy for that))

-Childe is a tik tok influencer trying to break out into the acting world. He's fairly talented for a newbie on the scene, and having him as an actor in your movie is good publicity, so he's quickly becoming an up-and-coming star.

-Kaeya has been an a-list celebrity since his teen years, due to his father being a rich philanthropist it was fairly easy for him to get roles as a kid. He's won many awards for his talent and has been in block buster after block buster. As of late though, he's recently been caught in the middle of a NASTY public scandal surrounding his brother suing him, and has become black-listed in many celebrity circles. This hit to his public reputation has him working in films he'd usually decline.

-So that's how Childe and Kaeya became co-stars of the newest cheesy netflix teen drama. Kaeya so clearly doesn't want to be here and Childe is very eager to mess with him. I'd like to think Childe keeps posting images of him and Kaeya online together and fans keep speculating on their (character's) relationship. It drives Kaeya INSANE and Childe loves to press his buttons. He pretends like it doesn't but he's plotting 1210312313 different ways to get Childe fired offset.

-Kaeya starts messing with Childe whenever they have to act together on screen. If Childe wants to spread rumors than Kaeya can spread rumors too. 😌 Y'know just adding a little acting here and sprinkling a yearning touch there. It's all in the name of show-biz (AND VENGEANCE)

XIAOYU (married)

Xiao 31 Ganyu 34

-Both of them are ex-members of the Chinese mafia, but you'd never have guessed that. Now Xiao is a homemaker and Ganyu is a secretary for Ningguang. (basically a way of the househusband au.)

-Have been married for 8 years but everyone tells them they look too young to even be married at all.

-Ganyu frequently falls asleep on public transport, so Xiao takes her to and from work on his motorcycle. She absolutely loves the feeling of being on the bike, Xiao is so terrified every second of the way.

-They met after a long turf war had ended between two gangs. Their boss had grown tired of all the fighting and wanted to retire, and felt that they were too young to be roped up into all of this. Without anywhere else to go both of them had found solace with each other.

[svtinq]

omg i love ur hs headcanons, can i request like the genshin boys but as substitute teachers? preferably childe, zhongli, itto, diluc, xiao and kaeya plss - if thats too much its fine!!

teachers? oml bloody genius

genshin boys as substitute teachers (ft. DCKZ + xiao and itto)

Diluc

"good afternoon everyone"

grumpy

"quiet when I take the role, I want no funny business."

probably leaves the class alone most of time bc he has "emails to send"

sighs so mf loud when the class gets too loud

sipping his black coffee every two seconds while he's typing away on his computer

established the fact that he can answer your questions at the start of the class bc he has a "literature degree" even though he's taking a physics class

looks busy and scary enough that no one approaches him w/ their "literature" questions

wearing a low buttoned black shirt and hair tied back in a low ponytail

he's the teacher u wanna get a piece of ifykyk

girls and gays be whispering about him after class

actually a really good teacher, very coherent and answers the question

Childe

"oh let me see what you guys are doing..."

the P.E teacher sub who forgot they had to be here.

turns the air con on SO HIGH and is still sweating

forgets to take the role until theres 10 minutes left of the class

let's you out 5 minutes if you promise not to "trip and die" in the five minutes left bc he doesn't want to get sued.

super chill, i promise you that you will get no work done

has those casual conversations with the class, the vibe turns grey after you figure out he has a fiance.

too dumb w/ a lack of credentials to answer literally anything so he insists the questions you ask him aren't included in his paycheck

"trigonometry? oh yeah .. no"

if you are picking subjects/university courses, expect him to give a big lecture about taking sports science or coaching

Kaeya

"shoosh, shush shushs sushsuuhs shhhhhh"

" you guys are giving me a bloody migraine"

the sub that everyone loves

you hear cheering when he walks into the room

sits down and rolls his eyes before proceeding with the role call - he knows he's iconic

drippyy

"so rachel what's up with you and bryan?"

adopts and i mean adopts every child

will be patrolling at lunch and get bombarded

wanted to leave the school one time but the kids protested

very attractive, 10/10 teacher crush material

zhongli

he's a chinese teacher with the cutest accent

zhongli is like unintentionally funny, theres just too much of a cultural difference

when substituting for an english class he walks in, stares at everyone, smiles and nods before sitting down and not saying a word for the rest of the lesson

"a-aron"

mispronounces literally every name on the role, not just the exotic ones

will see a chinese last name on the roll and his face lights up

proceeds to have a conversation in chinese on the spot while everyone is just confused

also very attractive and always well groomed

bitch comes to teach in a suit every day

if you get him at the end of the day and he's tired, your tired, seeing him taking his suit jacket off and loosening his tie is gonna keep you awake ALL NIGHT - different kind of caffeine bro

xiao

tired substitute

studying to teach chemistry/physics cause I swear the science department is always on their last line

seeing him not be tired and smile is like seeing a shooting star bitch, you better wish you could take a picture

has tattoos and is forced to cover them up, but he fucked the system and still wears sleeveless tops and turtlenecks anyway

NECK TATTOO PLS

apprentice teacher so he's really young and seggsy ijsnvils n burnt out ig

"oh you need help with this one?"

talks in the deepest and calmest voice and leans over your shoulder to read the question

the guys don't really like him, oh i wonder why?

this sexy asian man is the standard be sure to ask a lotta questions ;)

itto

retired athlete

he probably played rugby

the girls would be asking questions and accidently find out his athlete profile

known around the school and sticks out like a sore thumb, a big thicc thumb

doesn't care if the class if loud asf but the teachers next door always tell him off

"okay so we're gonna have to turn the volume down by like 35 okay?"

yeah no he's not gonna be able to answer any questions but he tries really hard

the younger year levels bully him while the older ones drool over him

if you come to school early enough he'll be in the school pool swimming laps or running on the track field

forgets to call the role, the administration is not happy with him lmao

"so how was everyone's weekend?"

wears tank tops and basketball shorts to school

goes wack on house spirit day - #1 contender to be voted to wear the school dress

the head of the sports department is really done with babysitting him

[dewdrop-writes]

(Spoiler)

Wiki says all the horses and many of the knights left with the real grandmaster for an expedition

YEAH that's what I remember reading from somewhere too! But then, why is KAEYA, the CAVALRY captain. Not WITH THE HORSES if he is literally the captain of horseback riding???? ITS SO WEIRD. AND WHAT EXPEDITION???? ITS SUS I TELL U