#Just making sure nobody else gets as upset as I am because wow. Genuinely want to fucking maul Pauly's killer(s) right now.

[hexastitchimera]

How genuinely fucking sick in your rotten heart do you have to be to not only be intimidated by queer children, but to hurt and even kill them.

You're grown ass adults who are terrified of CHILDREN. That's the most fucking pathetic thing I have ever seen. Take your own advice and "grow the fuck up, snowflake."

[bouncybrain]

I don't interact with the HSR community so I'm just going to put the 2.2 spoilers here just in case because I'm so mad. I'm genuinely upset with the story. This is why I've had to take breaks going through Penacony it makes me feel like my brain is leaking and I need to rant about this at ass-o'clock

We got on Penacony and they were like "well nobody really knows all that much about the Watchmaker so like lol go find out" and then they took forever to get there.

I walked onto Penacony, looked straight at Misha, and went "what are you talking about I'm done I've found him what else do you want from me, can Dan Heng come back and play yet" because you're telling me they finally dropped us on Penacony with a storyline about "The Watchmaker's Legacy" and also just a guy with a pocket watch we hang out with in a weird dream place and thought they were being subtle? Why do I have to sit through all of this. Give us a skip button.

Repeatedly hammering information into the dialogue doesn't make for a good story, a good twist, a good hint, or even good character development/backstory reveals. There is no subtlety here. The only "mysteries" we have are just plot threads that they haven't given us any information about. Like "WOW WHAT'S THIS DEATH THING WOAHHHHHH" and then doing nothing about it until they're like "WHOOPS HAHA GALLAGHER DID IT??? WOW WHAT A SHOCK!" and then they're like "WOAH THAT'S SAM?????? CRAZY! I WONDER WHAT ELSE" and then dropping "SIKE THAT'S FIREFLY!" and now they're like "HEY REMEMBER MISHA HE WAS THE WATCHMAKER ALL ALONG ISN'T THAT WILD!" Where did the Gallagher-Death team come from? Why? There were no hints. Where did Sam being Firefly come from? Sure, having a Stellaron Hunter present makes sense, but what the fuck does this have to do with anything? I don't care. (Seeing Blade in a suit driving a car was nice though.) And, as stated, I already knew Misha was the fucking Watchmaker from the goddamn start.

Honkai: Star Rail's story could be so much better. Actually going through the story could be so much better. I am, surprisingly, capable of getting sucked into a game's story even when it has less intense gameplay than HSR. (I played "In Other Waters" around this time last year and it was fantastic! I enjoyed it a lot! Here's the link to the game on Steam if you're curious.) There's so much more to crafting a long, ongoing story with moving parts than simply dumping all relevant info in massive clumps while repeating said relevant info at any possible moment. I could critique a lot of the recent choices they make with their storytelling. I've been writing this rant while waiting TO FUCKING MOVE AGAIN. I already figured out everything they're telling me!

Just give me my new hat. And I want this next adventure to be with Dan Heng, please. Please. He pays attention and I don't have to explain something I figured out months ago.

[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter fifteen: sex ain’t better than love

Time really does heal wounds just not all of them. YN and Jayson have found themselves in a stronger healthier relationship.... Or so she thinks. She's tried her hardest to fully forgive him and honestly she has but she doesn't trust him yet fully that'll take more time. With her new budding friendship with Melo Jayson finally saw them together and he no longer was worried about it she was gonna step out but he was worried that she had something with Melo that she could never have with him again and that's friendship. The more they worked on it he felt better about the situation. Slowly becoming friends again had completely helped the relationship.

Right now they were meeting up for a lunch date. She came straight from work to see him. When she walked into the restaurant she saw LBG it had been the first time since the whole ordeal so yn wanted to apologize to her. It hurts different when you're the one being done wrong. So naturally when she saw her she walked right over to her table hoping it would turn her karma back positive.

"Hiiiii" "hey you have a mintue to talk in private" since the texts and videos had come out YN hadn't seen LBG Melo was 90% sure she was the one who leaked it so YN figured she knew about them for months "wussup? You came to confront me because I leaked the messages? And ruined your new relationship?" "Uh no I figured you did that but me and Jayson are better than ever actually I just wanted to apologize .... It was fake of me to be In your face and fucking Melo" "I guess we're even now .... Better than ever though? Did he not take the bait?" "Huh what are you talking about?"

"Me and Ella have been dming eachother and becoming friends for months so when I saw Jayson was gonna be in st.Louis with Nelly I let her know ... I knew he would have to fold.... Unless he just didn't tell you" She smirked feeling excited that she might've told YN she got cheated on  "trust and believe it's nothing about that man any other woman could tell me ... but like I said we good" be the bigger person YN thought "okay well so are we since we're even" "ight cool enjoy your lunch" "you do the same"

LBG walks off going back to her table YN walks a little further and sits down at the table with Jayson. "You look beautiful" "thank youuuu sorry ima little late" "uh what we're you talking to her for?" YN lifted an eyebrow "uh just wanted to apologize as a person who's been cheated on now.... Well I just wanted to apologize" "wow okay" "yeah she did say something interesting though" "what she say?" "She set you up to fuck Ella.... Well more so she told Ella where you would be and you fell for the trap so you were a pawn in a much bigger chest game .... Sad really" "... I'm sorry I thought we were moving pass this"

"no no no ... we were I mean we are but when it comes up what am I supposed to do?" "So you told her we're struggling" he sighs "hell tf no I don't care if we were in the trenches that's our business nobody else's especially somebody I dont like but .....are we struggling?" "I mean you don't trust me and that hurts" "that's something that has to be gained again I don't wanna say I don't... I also don't really wanna have this conversation in public... you know?" She smiled through the whole conversation but Jayson was noticeably upset. She reached for his hand across the table   "Nah I get it but we can talk later right?" "Of course" he smiled slightly

"I ordered some stuff already but you can order some more whatever you want" "oooou whatever I want daddy?" She laughed genuinely he was glad he could do that.... see the real glow come to her cheeks and her eyes glisten.... It had been a minute "yeah but don't make me go broke now" "we both know that's not gon happen" "hmm you gotta keep me on my shit so I know" "don't I always?" "You try but I'm stubborn" " glad you know" "oooh you got jokes" she laughed slightly

"just like you" "I did order your meal too and your drink ... so I hope you okay with that " "yes it's fine ... I was late " "you sure?" "Yeah you should know me by now" "you know that was one of the trust test on the list ..... that you refuse to read" YN rolled her eyes

"if I'm gonna build trust with you it's just gonna happen no therapist about to tell me to play a whole bunch of games to gain trust" "it's wild cause you the main one that hypes up therapy to everyone" "cause it's a great resource but you choose this guy and I don't like him" "why?" "He's clearly a fan and agrees with you all the time" "I'm doing this for us.... I don't think he does that" "and he's judge mental af" YN continued ranting completely ignoring everything Jayson had said he rolled his eyes "okay Bae you right I'm wrong" "don't do that I always want you to speak your mind" "so listen to me when I'm trying to speak" "sorry" she said softly

when Jayson spoke to her like that it turned her on. Sex after the infidelity had been completely different. He did all the same things that use to get her to her moment but she just couldn't cum with him anymore she found herself faking the orgasms which she vowed she would never do. She didn't wanna say the sex was bad because he would be effected by that and it would be hard to move on.

And honestly It wasn't that the sex was bad it was the fact that everytime she saw his dick she almost felt like it was contaminated. In the beginning of their relationship she absolutely loved having sex with him because she felt like he belong to her and after sharing Melo it felt great to have some ownership but two months ago everything changed. Did she enjoy the sex? A little bit Did she find herself having sex everytime he hinted towards it regardless if she was in the mood or not .... Yes cause now she felt like she had competition.

YN knows it's completely unhealthy for her to have these thoughts but she was coping so now ....in this moment actually being turned on by her man even in this incredibly intense situation she found joy because this was growth.

"I didn't mean to talk to you like that" he caught himself being too forceful she licked her lips. "Nah you needed too .... I'm all ears now" she looked him up and down slowly He smiled "are you looking at me how I think you looking at me?" "Jayson baby I'm trying to listen... focus" "uh you made me lose my train of thought .... If you don't like him we can find another one but this one specializes in relationships with athletes so that's why I chose him" "of course he does that's how he gets to meet all his favs" she jokes

the waiter starts to bring the food out and when YN sees her dish she smiles "this smells so gooood" "damn it look good too I should've got me that" she laughed "wanna try some?" "Yeah" he had ordered a white sauce pasta with red peppers chicken and Turkey bacon "well that's tooooooo damn bad" she smiled drinking some of her Moscato. "Oh damn alright" "I'm  playing bae let me try it first though" she puts some of the pasta on her fork eating it slowly "yeah nah this really good" she puts some on her fork extending it to Jayson. "We gon get two to go" Jayson spoke still tasting the food in his mouth  "for you?" "Yupp" she laughed "greedyyy"

"Can we get back to how you was just looking at me though ..... I ain't seen that look and heard that soft voice in a while.... Not that I'm complaining" "I didn't wanna fake it with you .... If I feel this way I feel this way" "you couldn't fake that look even if you tried it's little give away so I know my baby" "yeah ... you do" "so do you wanna...?" She smiled "finish my pasta? Yeah I wanna do that". He laughed "but after we leave here... and finish our talk do you wanna go have some sex you'll actually enjoy instead of faking it" she started choking because she didn't know that he knew he shook his head as she started drinking some of the water that was at the table

"You done with the dramatics bae?" She rolled her eyes "you caught me off guard ... why you think I was faking it?" "Like I said I l know you and I know how you feel when you cum and you haven't been feeling... like that no matter how hard I try" "my pussy?" She whispered he laughed "I meant you all of you physically and your energy ... watch your mouth" she smirked "my lack of orgasm doesn't mean I haven't been enjoying you ... cause I have... it's just different" "you didn't tell me though and anytime it came up you ensured me that you were fine" "you didn't tell me you knew.... Got me wasting energy" "you and your jokes"

"I'm serious" "oh yeah? How it's a waste of energy" "cause ...." He smirked "im waiting" " I was really trying to play it up ... ya know so that took energy" he laughed slightly "let me ask you something Fr though" "yeah?" "Did you fake everything for the past two months? Or was it just the ....big moment" "it still felt okay so like the reactions were real the moans were real but I just played it up a little" "is that the same reason you wasn't letting me .... Eat?" Her eyes got wide

"I ... just knew I wouldn't be able to ... so it would leave me frustrated and be a waste of everyones time " she whines a little bit "do you feel like I'm rushing you.... When I'm down there" "baby can we notttt" "sorry I'm just really interested in this conversation" "it's not proper dinner convo" "you right ... but this is being added to the conversation just so you know" "no..." "yes ...." "Jayson" "we not fuckin until I get to the bottom of this I can't stand the thought of not pleasing you" "Jayson it's fine" "it's not though that's one thing with you I got right from the beginning I knew you wasn't cumming but I thought you were at least enjoying it .... But that don't seem to be right either so can we please just talk about it so I can..." "yes sorry baby of course"

"how's your Merlot?" "Sweet" she said simply "you mad at me?" "No... I'm ready to go though" "tell me if you're mad" she smiled "I'm not mad I want to go... finish the talk and..." his smile became big "and what?" YN did the motion like she was sucking dick.

"You can do that here...." his voice was deep as he looked her up and down "Boy stop" the waiter stopped by "everything okay here?" "Yea sir can we actually get to go boxes and can you give us two more orders of what she had and then the check" "yes sure no problem" "I hope you know I'm eating one of those" "why when you didn't finish that one" "only cause we leaving...." "You a headache" "yourssss"

After twenty minutes they were on the outside of the restaurant. "You going straight home?" She asked Jayson "yeah why? You not?" "I am..." "then let's go" he walks her to her car and then gets in his own He waits for her to pull out and Then he does the same.

Soon enough they were back home parking their cars she waits for him to let her out of her car. "You was racing me?" He asked "I won so it don't matter😝" "I know one race you can beat me at .... Get yo ass in this house" he pulls her roughly making her laugh  "oooou" he opens the door and shutting it quickly picking her up he pins her against the walls kissing her deeply she moans

"We gotta talk first..." he says on her lips "Jayson that's not fair" she whines"pay back for letting me fuck you terribly this whole time" she pouts "baby your dick is so hard I can feel you" "you want me?" "Yes please" "what if you don't like it?" "I will...." "I wanna finish these conversations first though..." "fine ... put me down? So I can focus" "sit on my lap? So I can remember what I'm trying to do after this..." she smiles "yes that works" she kisses his lips over and over again as he takes her to sit on the couch.

"You're so strong baby" she says on his lips as she kisses all over his face " yeah I gotta be strong ... now listen to me" he spanks her ass she pulls away "yes sir?" She knew that was his weakness "You trying me baby" "I'm not trying you... what are we supposed to be talking about?" "Well for one why you didn't tell me about the sex not being good for you" "cause I quickly figured out it was a mental thing so I didn't wanna tell you and it was nothing you could do... it would only hurt your feelings"

"I still wanna know those things it's no point of me fucking you if you don't like it ... I hate that... which brings me to the next conversation the trust excerises and our therapist" "what about it" "we need to start doing them" "you ordered for me and I liked it..." "I wanna do more ..." "like what bae?" "Like what's on the list .... Compromise?" "Fine I'll try three of them with you but if I don't like them after that it's a dub" "fine that's fair.... I got one in my head I wanna try a little later you okay with that?"

"You came up with it?" "Yes..." "ummm yeah it's making me a little uneasy but yeah" "why uneasy?" "Naturally ... idk what it's gonna be so I'm nervous" he kissed her lips "don't be.... Now do you wanna change therapists?" "No we would have to start all the way over..." "but you don't like him" "So?.... He's not bad he just likes you more" "I don't think so" "it's okay Bae ... are we done now?" He smiled

"no the situation with LBG....if you felt embarrassed or mad or any of that I'm sorry cause once again I'm sorry that you have to deal with my actions" "I forgave you .... So I had to forgive you for all that comes with that....it didn't piss me off cause I did some fucked up things to her so she was vengeful that's on me we all made actions that turned into bigger issues so I get it" he kisses her slowly "so ... we good?" "Yesss"

"Lastly..." "Ughhh" she cuts him off he spanks her ass "ow!" She laughs "like I was saying .... Lastly you gon let me eat your pussy?? I don't care how long it takes bae.... Let me make you cum" she was speechless as he picks her kissing her and taking her to the bedroom she moans. "You gon let me ... huh?" "Yesss" hearing yes from her was exciting but also brought a lot of pressure at this point he hadn't made her cum in two months so this needed to be amazing for both of them she tried to relax and stay in the moment so it could be good. She starts to take her clothes off watching him do the same. He hovered over her body looking in her eyes "you ready?" "Yes" she kiss his lips

He starts kissing down her body "if you want me to stop I will" "Jayson .... I don't wanna" he stopped on her stomach kissing all over and then he spread her legs. He didn't lick or kiss her for a moment building up the anticipation. She arched her back "baby please?" He kisses her thighs she felt him smirking "you so wet and I haven't even touched you yet...." "Ughh" she continued to move her hips up to his face everytime he would back away until suddenly she finally felt his tongue making her drop her hips he pulls her closer to his face and continued to lick her center she moaned softly she smiled it felt good already.

"You want fingers?" "Yes" he slides two fingers deep inside of her as his mouth continued to lick suck and kiss. "Yes yes yes yesssssss" she grabbed on to the blankets and herself to try and calm down but it felt so good and it felt completely new again it had been too long. "Want me to stay like this? You like this?" "Yesss baby pleaseee" he smiled and that's exactly what he was talking about earlier some things you just completely can not fake. "I love you Jayson..... Jayson I love you" she said breathlessly spreading her legs wider because she was getting closer to her big moment. "Mmmmm Jay—-" he cuts her off looking up at her  "I love you too" He said quickly rushing back to her center she pouted

"I'm taking too long?" "No such thing what I tell you earlier? I meant that and I'm enjoying myself ... I promise just relax" "okay ... okay I'm relaxing" he kissed her thighs "so can I finish?" "Yes please?" He started back up making her immediately arch her back she didn't realize how close she was before. He grabs her legs with each of his hands spreading them apart as she got closer. "Keep them open for me please?" "Yesss" he squeezes her ass pulling her close to his mouth. Her hands immediately grab his head. "Ahhhhh" he started looking in her eyes he groaned into her sending vibrations through her body.

"Oooou ooooou" her legs started to shake she grabbed her breast "ahhhhhh" he continued to groan as she moaned loudly "baby baby babyyyyyyyyyy" "mmmhmm?" "I'm gonna ...." He never stopped what he was doing "baby please don't stop pleaseee" she continued to rock her hips back and forth against his face as she finally came "yes yes yesssss...fuckkk" she felt so good it's nothing like she had experienced since he wasn't able to make her cum. She hadn't even been able to make herself cum like this. And he never stopped.

"Jayson .... Okay okay" she tries to push his head away "uh uh Im not done" "oh fuck oh fuckkk" he moves her hands pinning them down on her stomach "yesss baby yessss" "you still want me to move?" ".... Nooooo" he smirked taking one of his hands and moving it back in between her legs to slowly slide two fingers inside he kissed up her body. "That felt good huh?" "Y—es" "can't believe you been faking that for so long" "I'm sorry..." "I know." He tongue kisses her as his fingers continued to move upwards

"you'll cum for me like this?" "I want to bad" he smiled kissing her forehead "spread them legs wider" he smiled when she listen and his fingers felt so good to her "you dripping all on the bed ... all on my hand ..... just wet" she grabs his arm that's holding him up digging her nails in deep as she started to cum again. Her eyes closed "You squirting? Damn baby" next thing she knew he was back between her legs drinking from her fountain like he was the thirstiest man on earth. "ohhhhh fuckkkk" he kissed back up her body placing his fingers that was just inside her in her mouth she sucks them softly. He sticks them in the back of her throat making her gag

"you gon suck my dick?" She nods her head "what if I say no" he teases her "You won't tell me no" "why I won't?" "Cause I'm gonna do a good job"he kisses her lips adding tongue making her moan "get up and show me then" he kissed her lips one last time standing up she bit her lip siting up "you different you know that?" "Yeah I'm different now get yo sexy ass over here"

she finally scoots out of the bed walking over to him when she gets to him she kisses all over his chest softly rubbing her nails up and down his shaft. Then she kisses down his body until she gets on her knees. She smirks while looking up at him

"you trying to tease me huh?" He says

After a few kisses on his dick YN wets her mouth slowly spiting onto his dick getting it nice and wet Jayson pulls at her hair pulling her away "I asked you a question... answer me" "I'm not teasing" she starts stroking his dick he keeps pulling her head back "now you're teasing me Jayson"  "don't play with me baby.... Okay?" She bit her lip "what's gonna happen if I do?" "Nothing... just don't" "okay so let me start..." she pouts he lets her hair go and she immediately kissing his tip slowly placing it in her mouth his head immediately goes back she pulls him out of her mouth licking on the bottom of his shaft staring him in his eyes.

"Hit me with it" she moaned he smiled "say please" "Please"? he grabbed his dick hitting her right in the face with his dick he noticed her fingering herself as her mouth went back on his tip and her other hand started to stroke him again in perfect harmony moving down and up together "keep looking at me" he said softly "damn you so beautiful... that pussy so wet for me ain't it?" "Mmmmhmmm" "I need to feel you.... Let go back to the bed" she stoped "you sure ... that wasn't that long" "yeah I'm sure" he helps her up and then they walk over to the bed he pushes her down on her back...

"babyyy" she laughed "hmmm? You don't like a little bit of aggression?" "Yeah..." "yeah I know" she bit her lip  watching him intently wondering what was next he grabs his dick teasing her but also teasing himself. She wiggled as his tip continued to play between her folds up and down to her clit and then to her entrance painfully slow as she whined "please Jay?" She stared into his eyes and suddenly he was completely inside of her. He grabbed her boobs as he stroked slowly "yesss baby" "damn look at how you grippin me" he concentrated on his dick moving in and out of her which made her look too it was a beautiful site "I'm so wet" gasps  he grabs her hips switching up his tempo but it still felt amazing.

"Hold your legs ...." "Jayyyyy" she whined he hits her thigh pushing her legs back. "Now!" She holds her ankles "when I tell you to do something do it...stop playing with me" his thumb landed on her clit rubbing it just enough to make her say "I'm gonna cummm" "nah..." she smiled he leaned down to kiss her as they continued to moan in each others mouth. "Fuckkk" "shhh just kiss me" she kissed until she didn't have any more strength to because she was cuming. "Fuck" he groaned on her lips "squeezing me and you so damn tight .... Can't believe you thought you was faking this bae" "I'm so sorry" "nah I'm sorry" she tried to drop her legs that's when he promptly said no softly "no?" "We not done..." "oh....? can I rest them on your shoulder?" He smiled pulling out she looked at his dick wet from her still fully hard and wanting her

"you wanna be done?" "No..I was just—" "put it in the air for me okay?" She turns around sticking her ass in the air he watched her make the perfect arch. "Damn" he said softly and grabbed her hands putting them on her back holding them there and sliding in deeply "see I had to hold you .... You like to run when it's good"  "Jaysonnnnnnn" "hmm?" "I missed you" " I missed you too baby" his other hand comes around rubbing her clit "OHHHHHHHHHHHH" she started to cum "fuck you trying to push me out...keep your hands there" she holds her hands behind her back.

He puts his hands on either side of her head stroking deeply "throw it back on me" "ughhhhh" "yeah throw that shit back" she started to go too fast "slow down... you not even enjoying it when it's that fast " she continued going fast he slaps her ass "slow the fuck down" she listens going slower he grabs her hair pulling her up as he started to fuck her again. He chokes her a little bit making her smile "I love how you takin my dick right now" he kissed her cheek letting her rest back on the bed.

"Mmmmm" he said softly she knew that noise from anywhere he was about to cum. She tried to glance back to look at his face but then he went into overdrive making her lose her position. Her stomach now was flat on the bed and ass barely in the air but he didn't stop. "Bae you not being a good girl for me no more" YN whines as she starts to release "oh no warning?" "I'm so fuckin sorry" she moans into the sheet. "Bae you want me to cum?" "Pleaseeeee" "where you want it?" "Inside me Jay inside meeee" he smiled grabbing her hair and choke  her while her body remained on the bed he pulled her head close to him "where you want it?" "Inside me baby pleaseeee" she looked up at him as he groaned deeply

"pleaseee?" "Fuck I love the way you grippin me right now I want it to last forever" it's almost like he growled the sentence in her ear which turned her on more she notice him becoming weak as his hips went into over drive but also become sluggish and his eyes closed. "Baby I want it so deep in me please" she whined never has she begged for his orgasm so much but she needed it as much as he did right now. "Oh shit" he begins sucking on her neck "daddy don't stop" she felt him get tense and then release inside of her holding her as close as possible "mmmm"

He licks his fingers rubbing her clit "fuck Jaysonnnnn" "one last one for me baby while you keep me inside" her eyes were heavy as she started to grind against him "want me to stop?" "Nooo please" "please what?" "Don't stop don't .... Mmmmmm" "go head cum on me bae" she grinds slightly against his fingers "I'm .... So close.." she says softly his hand goes to her throat "so what you need?" "Squeeze it..." he didn't ask anymore questions he just squeezed her throat tight but not too tight as his other hand went into over drive on her clit making her cum almost immediately "ohhhh shit look at youuu drippin" he started to stroke again slowly and deeply

  "daddyyyy thank youuuuu" he started to cum again groaning in her ear softly "fuck" he slowly let her go she let herself relax laying on the bed fully he stands up looking down at her .... Legs still shaking He smiled he was proud. She lays on her side "come here.." "hmmm?" He walks closer to her lining himself up with her stomach "come up to my face I want a kiss" he walks closer leaning down to kiss her lips he stands up "anything else?" She licked her lips staring directly at his dick she slowly put him back in her mouth "damn baby" after she was content she pulled away

"just trying to clean you off" he leans down kissing her forehead "I love you" "I love you too.... Lay dat ass down" he laughed "why?"  "Why not?" "Cause I gotta pee" "me too and I'm laying down" "Get up" "your little deep voice worked one time now you wanna be talking to me crazy" "I better not hear nothing crazy come out your mouth for the next three days after that sex." YN laughed "so on day four I can talk shit again?"  She stands up walking past him to the bathroom "Shouldn't ever be talking to me like that..." he smacks her ass "ooouch" "I'm going to the other bathroom!" "okay then" he slides some shorts on going to her guest bathroom

YN pees brushes her teeth and then got in the shower about five minutes in her shower she felt a cold breeze from the shower door opening. "Can I come in?" "Mhmm" he drops his shorts coming into the shower with her

"I know I should just be happy that your legs are weak and we having this good moment but—-" YN cuts him off "—- baby please can we just live in this good moment it might continue to last you're trying to be twenty steps ahead in our relationship now and it just doesn't work like that... I love you ... we working this shit out that's all that matters the more we sit and analyze stuff the worse it's gonna get for me" "okay Bae I'm sorry" she looked at his face and couldn't help but smile "I want you to be able to get stuff off your chest but I also just don't wanna keep talking about the same things .... I truly believe we good" "alright then that's enough for me ... I promise" "did you tap out?" "Nah ... why" she turns around standing directly under the shower head rinsing the front of her body he grabs her hair making it into a pony tail standing directly behind her

"Wanna answer me?" She glances up "I was just asking" "from the way you standing I can tell your legs are weak .... I think you tapped out" "me? Never!" She smiled "so let me slide back in" "jaysonnnn" "prove me wrong..." "I can't cause you right" he kissed her forehead "thoughts so" "I know everything is a little crazy right now but.... I don't want you to leave" "I'm not we got time" "I mean ever..." he laughed slightly "baby .... You know that's not possible" " I do I'm just saying" "I'm sorry we can't be together all the time ... this long distance shit is for the birds"  Jayson turns around so YN could wash his back

"you thought about letting me meet Deuce ... and his mother"  "you think you ready for that" "it's not up to me" "nobody has ever met Deuce I've never even considered it but with you.... Shit" she grabs the shower head rinsing his back  

He turns around "you'll consider it?" "If you're ready he's older now I don't want him getting attached and then ..." "no I get it .... Ask your mom" he smiled "why?" "She knows things that I can't even explain and she knows you and Deuce so are you ready? Am I ready? And most importantly  is he ready? To meet someone I know I'm important to you and I love you you're important to me and I just think about the constant back and forth and long period of time when you're not here and it's because I can't go there when you have Deuce cause I haven't met him but if I do meet him I can come around more for the both of you"

"mostly for me right?" She laughed "was that some Jealousy I hear Jay?"

"Yeah definitely I want you to only be focused on me" "of course I am ... but isn't this getting serious" "it is .... So I would love for you two to have a bond but I don't know what that looks like cause once again he's never met anybody I was talking to or dating" "I'm not trying to force it Bae I'm just  .... That would solve this long distance problem and also I wanna meet his mom first" he smiled "that'll be interesting" "why?" "Y'all totally different" "yeah I'm cuter than her" "bae.." he says sternly

"my bad I'll be nice I just wanna meet her cause I don't wanna met deuce without meet her and getting the okay the last thing I wanna  do is start drama in your life surrounding your child so if you think that's gonna happen forget I even said anything" "close your eyes let me rinse your hair" "want me to turn away from you?" "Yeah so I can get that back of your head" she listens bracing her self on the wall as Jayson washed the conditioner out of her hair. "Let me think about it some more and then I'll get back to you ... how that sound?" "Like a plan" "good .... You so understanding" "I try"

"I love your wet hair... does something to me" she smiled "you like the curls" "yeah I do ..." "me too I wish when it dries I could keep it like this" "well at least I get the pleasure of seeing you like this." She turns standing on her tip toes asking for a kiss. "I love you" "I love you" "nah I don't think you understand baby I love you sooooooo damn much like so damn much it doesn't make sense in my head" he kisses her forehead "and I love you so much more than you could ever love me" "if you love me more than I love you that's wayyyyy too much" she smiled he shook his head "actually nah it's just enough" "let's get out the shower" "you can go ahead Bae I need five more minutes" "okayyyy" she leaves him in the shower after drying off she puts on one of T shirts that was too big for her and some cute lace panties then she goes to the kitchen to start fixing some spaghetti.

When he came out of the bathroom he wanted more of her. "Bae?" He yelled from upstairs "I'm in the kitchennnnn" when he walked into the kitchen he had no clothes on "bae!" She was completely shocked he walked over to her quickly sitting her on the counter kissing "what are you doing bae" "I want you badly" he continued kissing her spreading her legs he moved her panties to the side sliding inside her deeply. "Fuckkk I'm cooking bae" "it'll be fine YN" "...the ground beef is gonna burn" she said quietly "so I need to stop?" "Nooo ... I was just ughhh" she whined

"fuckk" he groaned in her ear as she shook "fuck Jayyyy" "sorry I even had to come at you like that but baby you look so damn good I'm so happy about us" "me too daddy me——ughhhh" "hmmm?" He smiled "your voice and then the way you .... Fuck why can't I finish a sentence" he laughed slightly "you still can say too much if I'm being honest" "mmfuck!!" she pouts as she gets closer "you feel so fuckin good yn" he says right on her lips "right there right there oh gosh Im About to..." "nah wait for me" "jayyy I can't" his forehead rested on hers watching her closely while her eyes remained closed he kept a nice grip on her booty

"bae hold it" he felt her walls begin to squeeze him tighter indicating that she was trying to listen she grabbed his back digging her nails "ahhhh ... daddyyyy I cantttt" "cum for me cum with me" he rubs her clit as he works on making them release together he continued to stroke inside of her until he was tapped out He kissed her lips and neck sucking softly "damn let me put some clothes on" he pulls out fixing her panties as YN sat there trying to catch her breath he smiled

"what's for dinner? I'm hungry" "spaghetti if my meat didn't burn" she said with a slight attitude he helps her down off the counter "let me go put on some clothes I'll be back" she bit her lip "okay" he smacks her ass walking away. YN begin making her sauce as Jayson walks back "you mad I fucked your like that?" "No the food will be fine so no .... And it felt good so.... but um can I ask what prompted that?" "Trust excerise wanted to be spontaneous and see if you would trust me enough to do it safely..." "well did I pass?" "With flying colors" she smiled looking back at him "mmm good" "food smell good" "thank you Bae" "can't wait to eat" "if the trust excerises we're gonna be like that you should've told me" she smiled "you didn't even read them Bae" "I know and I'm sorry" "mhm I know"

"Chile...." "What?" "Nothing Jay nothing" "that attitude coming back I see" "I'm in here fixing you dinner ..... what attitude?" "I appreciate that too" "mhm" "that attitude!... it's a little hint but it's still there what's up?" "What's up is nothing" he stand up walking behind her pulling her close "talk to me" she pushed her hips further on him melting into his body "oh Is that what you want?" He kissed her check whispering in her ear she moaned softly "I'm not doing anything until you tell me what you want" "Jayson" she whined "what?" He said sternly she glance up at him and then quickly looked back down pouring her sauce over the meat mixing it well

"you're being rough" "being rough how?" "Being aggressive..." she couldn't help but moan cause she could feel him poking through his shorts and her panties  "why you whining" "you know why" "nah I don't tell me" "I want more ...." "more what?" "You..." "me doing what ? Use your words" now that her meat was mixed throughly she turned it on low and turned her water up high so it can boil she turned around staring at him "nothing I guess.." "just cause I want to hear you say it? Cause I hope you know I'm not bluffin" "I know daddy ..." she smiled "oh so you want me to give in?"

He grabs her hand putting it in his pants so she could feel him "you see I'm ready .... You can feel I'm ready just tell me what you want" "I want you to eat it .... And I wanna get fucked over the island"  "why was that so hard to say?" He picks her up sitting her on the island moving her panties out of the way again she gasp "hmm? You not gon answer me?" "It's hard to say those things even when I want them I wish you would just ...ooooou" she stopped taking when she felt his lips wrap around her clit. He moves and starts placing light kisses on her thighs "finish that sentence you wish I would what?" "Just do what you think I want cause you're right" "so I'm a 100% right? all the time?" "you're very accurate when I'm trying to tell you something with my body"

his kisses started getting closer and closer to her center making her whine more "so why not just tell me..you could've been getting your pussy ate by now" "ughhhhh" "I ask you a question" "I don't know Jayson I don't know" "You gettin frustrated?" "a little" he smiled pulling her close to his taking one long lick she melted on his tongue "yessss" she loved the way his hands grabbed at her thighs keeping her close to his face she loved how when he started enjoying himself he would growl like he was hungry for more "you wanna cum on my face?" "y-e--e-e-esssss" her yes very broken which let Jayson know she was close he stands up helping her down

"bend over" she stared him in his eyes if she protested he was gonna fuck her but if she didn't he had no intentions on stoping his meal she bends over with no complaints and he places her leg on the island straight and then she felt his tongue on her clit one more time. "FUCKKKKK'' "mmmmm" she grabbed onto the other end of the island to keep her balance as she pushed her hips back onto his face "im...s---o ...clo--seeee" next thing he knew he felt her getting wetter as he struggled to continue to lick her up finally when was done he kissed up her body stopping at both butt checks and then her back sliding in deep. "fuck yes" he noticed

the leg he had placed on the island kept moving closer and closer to the edge  "keep you leg up there don't move that shit you hear me?" he grabbed her hair roughly when she didn't answer "You hear me baby?" "Yessss daddy I hear you fuck" "next time you want another round what you gon say?" "Fuck me daddy pleaseeee" "and If I say no?" ''you won't" he smiled laughing slightly "you right" he glanced at the stove noticing the water got a little louder they have solid three minutes before the water started to boil he kept a strong hold on her hair

"so damn wet look at my baby" "daddyyy" "cum for me? you wanna cum for me?" "yessss" "damn I love the way your ass moving on me right now..." he said lowly but she heard him so she begin smiling "Jay—- mmmm Jay right there" his eyes were closed because he had worked himself up and was so close he could taste it .... He wanted to make her cum again though so he reached around rubbing her clit which immediately made her move her hips forward "uh uh baby where you going take this dick" "fuckkkk fuck fuckkkkkkkk " she says as she releases all over him he smiles

"thank you" He says to remind her to say thank you "thank youuuu" "tell daddy thank you" "thank youuuu daddyyyy fuckk" "mmmm guess where I'm about to cum?" "Inside me" "mhmm that's where you want it?" "Yes yes yesss fuck" "shit" he groaned when he felt her squeezing her walls around him as he finally exploded inside of her her leg finally fell as she tried to get herself together once again he fixed her panties and the water started to boil

"fuck baby could you?" She ask Jayson "just put the noodles in?" "Yeah ... um please" he smiled fixing himself "yeah I gotchu" he poured the noodles in the pot and she still hadn't moved "you good bae?" He walked over to her face kissing her forehead "hmm?" He laughed "are you good?" "Yes I'm fine" she stands up fixing her shirt "I feel like...." "What?" "Nothing I don't wanna seem crazy" she reached under the cabinet grabbing Clorox wipes wiping down the island and the counter she was on earlier "you still want more?" she bit her lip. "yeah... is that crazy?" "it's not crazy but you gotta feed me first bae or im not gon be any more good" He laughed "okay bae lets get some food in you" 

she drained the water when the noodles were done and put him some noodles in his bowl and poured the sauce over "any cheese?" "Yeah exactly like yours" "oooop you wanna be like big daddy" YN laughed he shook his head "you ain't big nothing" "this ass is big" "your ass and that head the only big things on you" "you don't complain about this head when I'm giving it to you" she finally places his meal in front of him "you got jokes" "always, what you want to drink daddy?" "Mmm you catering to me? Some water is fine" "water it is" she grabbed him a bottle handing it to him and then fixed her food sitting across from him.

"What you drinking?" He asked her "this is lemonade" "oh damn can I have some?" "Out of my glass or you want your own cup?" "I don't wanna drink all of yours so yeah my own cup" "okay I'll get you some" she grabbed a glass putting him some ice in it and then poured him some lemonade handing it to him "anything else?" "Nah bae let's eat" she smiled sitting down after a quick prayer she watched him eat her food and then started eating herself "this good asf bae look at you catering to me" she smiled "I'm glad we back Fr.... Feels good"

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[iamdeku]

Civilian: Prohero!Deku x Reader

I know, revolutionary, a fic that I didn’t name after a song. I did have to stop myself from naming it after Dress by Taylor Swift though because that song sort of fits this story PERFECTLY. Anyway, this was a request from the lovely @thetruthunspoken, and for some reason Tumblr won’t let me post their submission on desktop but this is inspired by a TikTok from Deku cosplayer @/fourmonthsold. It should be right above this post on my blog!

Warnings: None. Reader flirts with Hawks who is like, 7 years older I guess??? Everybody is an adult though.

You loved being Izuku’s friend-date to things. It had started out as a fun thing when you were kids. You had both complained about how nobody would want to invite you to school dances and had come to the conclusion that it was better to just go together. You had suggested it, since Izuku was too shy to ask any of the 1-A girls at the time and you weren’t getting asked by any of the gen-ed guys. No pressure to get a date if you were just going with your best friend.

Over the years though, the reasons had changed and so had the parties. Now you appeared with #1 hero Deku to keep the thirsty girls off his back, and the parties were far bigger and more lavish. Not that you were complaining, since Deku provided your wardrobe. There was really only one downside.

You had made the fatal mistake of falling in love with your best friend, and he wouldn’t even be seen with you in front of paparazzi. You were a great buffer for all of the women who had noticed how handsome he was, but that was all you were to him anymore. Part of you wanted to scream that you had seen him first, had noticed how perfect he was long before all the muscles and heroic stunts, but you knew that would be pointless. You had missed your chance a long time ago, if you had ever had one.

Even so, tonight you had pulled out all the stops. Usually, Izuku had some kind of request for the dress depending on the event, but this time he had just thrown some money at you and told you to go at it, and go at it you did. Your long red dress was backless, a slit up the side racing up to your hip to show off your legs. Even if he wasn’t going to appreciate it you might find another hero to get with. You heard the winged hero, Hawks, was going to be here tonight and he was notoriously popular with the ladies. Maybe out of your league, but not in this dress.

When Izuku picked you up, you saw his eyes go wide.

“Wow…you look great. I mean, you always do of course, but this is something special. Did I miss something?”

You laughed a little bit.

“Nope. Just felt like dressing up.” You shrugged.

Izuku didn’t ask any more questions, despite being suspiciously quiet on the way to the party. When you got there you scanned the room, trying to see if the rumors were true. Sure enough, Hawks was over by the bar.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” you told Izuku, eyes never leaving your target.

You leaned your elbows against the bar, conveniently near the pro-hero you had your eye on. You ordered a drink for yourself, knowing Izuku probably wouldn’t want anything this early in the night. It always took him a minute to loosen up.

“Now what’s a beautiful young lady like you doing here all alone?”

You smirked to yourself before turning and resting your hip against the bar.

“Just doing some bird watching.” You shrugged.

“Is that so? Aren’t I a little old for you?”

You leaned in teasingly. “If you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. Don’t worry. I’m a big girl.”

“I can see that. You know, if you’re not busy later-”

“She is.” A familiar voice spoke as an even more familiar, scarred hand wrapped possessively around your waist.

“Oh, Deku, this one is yours? That makes sense. I thought I’d seen her around before. Your…best friend, right?”

“That’s me.” You kept your confident smile in place, despite the racing of your heart at Izuku’s warm touch.

“So, you guys aren’t an item?” Hawks verified.

“Nope. Never have been.” You didn’t have the heart to say you never would be.

“So why come to these?” Hawks seemed genuinely curious.

“The dresses. He buys me a new one every time he wants something. It’s almost a shame we aren’t a couple. I’d probably own more of these gorgeous dresses.” You sighed theatrically, looking back at Izuku. “If only you were mine.”

Izuku frowned slightly but seemed to shake off whatever was upsetting him with an easy smile.

“Baby, I’m a hero. I can’t be your boyfriend.”

You felt a spark of annoyance at this newest excuse. I mean, that was just insulting. He was really going to use his job as an excuse not to date you?

You decided to put the power of your dress and the newfound confidence that came with it to use. You leaned back into his chest, placing a well-manicured hand along his face to tilt his head closer to yours. Anyone watching might have confused you for lovers.

“I know, I know. You’re the #1 now. Can’t be my boyfriend. You’re too busy being a big strong hero. Just like All Might.”

Izuku laughed nervously, sounding a little breathless. Maybe you had laid it on a little too thick.

“Maybe I could be, but I don’t know if I should be.”

You frowned, turning to face him better in your confusion.

“What is that supposed to mean?” It was a genuine question, all of the anger sapped out of you.

“Well, it’s dangerous being a hero. I probably shouldn’t date anyone until I retire. Actually, I always kind of accepted I wouldn’t be able to have a love life as a hero. Anyone who gets close is a target for villains. It’s why I always try to keep the paparazzi off of you. I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt.”

“Wait…that’s why you’re never seen with me?”

Hawks found somewhere else to be just then, conveniently enough. You heard him get out of his seat behind, leaving you to your secluded little part of the bar. No doubt he decided not to be involved in whatever argument was about to go down.

“Yeah. I thought you knew.” Izuku frowned.

“No.” You stared up at him, mouth open in shock. “I always thought you were ashamed of me.”

“What?” Izuku grabbed your arms, pulling you closer so you could look into his bright green eyes as he spoke his next words. “I have never been ashamed of you. Ever. I’m so sorry I ever made you feel like that. I had no idea.”

He ran a hand through his hair, letting go of you to pace in place. He began mumbling under his breath, too fast for you to understand what he was saying. Meanwhile, you felt shocked tears well in your eyes, overwhelmed at this sudden discovery and the emotions pooling in your chest.

“All of these years I’ve been in love with you, thinking you just kept me around to keep girls at parties off your back.”

Izuku stopped dead at that, whirling around to face you.

“You’re-”

You clapped a hand over your mouth, horrified that he had heard you.

“Forget I said anything. I didn’t mean to tell you that. I’m so sorry Izuku. I don’t know what your reasons for keeping me around are, but it’s honestly not my place to ask. You were always very clear that we were only ever friends, and whatever I feel isn’t your responsibility.”

“Of course it is! You haven’t been just my friend for years! I’ve loved you since our third year. I just never thought you wanted me back, and when I became a hero I didn’t think you’d want to accept the danger of that kind of relationship. But…I was too selfish to let you go, and I’m sorry for any pain I caused you.”

“You love me?” The only words you really heard, you repeated them breathlessly.

“Yes.”

Throwing caution to the wind, you grabbed Izuku’s tie and pulled him down to your level, planting a reckless kiss on his mouth. He tasted warm and faintly spicy, like cinnamon. The smell of his cologne enveloped you as you breathed him in briefly before pulling away.

“We can talk about your stupid belief that I wouldn’t want to date you because your job is dangerous later. I’ll make a PowerPoint to remind you that I wanted to be a hero too, and just because I wasn’t accepted into the hero course doesn’t mean I didn’t learn how to fight. But right now? Right now, I have other things in mind for you, me and this dress.”

Izuku blinked before looking you up and down. “I am so glad I bought you that dress.”

 Bonus:

“I told you I could get them together.”

Miruko rolled her eyes at the winged hero. “If you’re about to credit yourself for that, I will hurt you.”

“All I had to do was pretend to flirt with the little birdie, and her jealous boyfriend came running over. Look at them now!” Hawks was entirely too smug.

“Whatever you say, Keigo.”

[overdramatic-queer-antagonist]

Mick Mercury's Failed Attempt At Espionage

Summary: Mick Mercury was easily the most incompetent person Peter had ever met, and it infuriated him how long it took for them to be introduced. Notes: There is a severe lack of Mick Mercury in Season 3, and that will not stand, so I put him in.

Read it on Ao3

Fic:

"JJ! Hey! JJ! Hello? Can you hear me?"

Peter would not have made any connection to the aforementioned 'JJ,' and Juno Steel had he not been glowering at the petulant ex-detective when the unfamiliar man called out and seen how Juno had tensed at the voice.

The large man made a noise of annoyance, and oh God, he's walking towards Juno. Peter wasn't worried for the lady, he was wholly aware Juno knew how to handle himself, but Peter had yet to foresee an outcome of this conversation that didn't blow their cover.

"Juno Steel!" the man yelled as Juno continued to ignore him. 

It was, unfortunately, very clear who he was addressing, and the woman Juno had been flirting with gave him a confused look. Peter would be lying if that didn't please him ever so slightly, but, as always, he filed that feeling away for later and went to save Juno's ass.

"Dear," Peter called out, attempting to get into the act of a doting husband, which had recently become much more difficult for him. Juno glanced at him appreciatively and went to stand at his side, where Peter promptly put an arm around his waist.

“You gave me a bit of a scare Mercury,” Juno said, looking at Peter for confirmation he wasn’t being dumb. Peter nodded ever so slightly as permission to continue. “Haven’t heard my maiden name in a while, no one’s called me that- well- since the wedding!” Juno forced a laugh that sounded more nervous than casual, but the woman he was talking with looked like she understood which- okay. That bothered Peter because that meant she was okay with flirting with a married man, but whatever, filed away.

“Wedding?” Mercury yelled. “JJ, You never told me anything about any wedding.”

“Listen, Mick, I know you're upset, but can we talk in private,” Juno’s eyes flickered to the woman he’d been speaking with, and Mick- Mick Mercury. What a fucking name- nodded. Juno led Mercury to a private corner of the ballroom, and Peter followed automatically. Mick gave Juno a look, but Juno returned it with one of his own, and Mick dropped whatever he was thinking. Peter couldn’t decide if it was frustrating or charming that they could hold a conversation without speaking. He settled on frustrating, simply because they were clearly close, and Juno had never thought to mention him. Granted, Peter wasn’t sure why that frustrated him, but it did. Another thing to file away.

The exact second they’d arrived at their designated corner, Mick spun on his feet. “Okay, what the hell, J? I always thought when you got married I’d at least get invited! I mean, obviously, I thought Benten or- hell, even Sasha would be man/maid of honor, but I thought I’d get an invite!” Juno tensed at the mention of Benzaiten, and Peter subconsciously put a hand on his lower back. Juno tensed more at this, but after a moment, relaxed. Mick continued on, oblivious. “And come on Juno, how long have you ever known this guy? We saw each other recently, and you didn’t even think to mention him?! I mean, I know we’ve grown apart since I almost got you killed by a serial killer lady, but come on, man!”

Juno gave Mick an incredulous look. “Okay, first of all, last time we saw each other, a robot made you try to kill me, not exactly the best time to bring it up. Second-”

“Second…” Peter interrupted before he, himself knew what he was doing. “We’ve known each other for three years. And my apologies for the lack of notice, Mick. See, I lead a very dangerous life, and my lady and I thought it safer to keep knowledge of my existence away from anyone who wasn’t trained in combat. And also Rita, but mainly because she tapped Juno’s comms and listened in on a very…”

“Oh my god!”

“Sorry, dear. I forgot how easily flustered you are.”

Mick gave Peter an appraising look for a second before deciding the answer was good enough for him and moving on. “So if you live such a dangerous life,” he lowered his voice to a -frankly terrible- whisper, “Then what are you doing here?”

Peter lowered his voice conspiratorially, “I really shouldn’t tell you this but, we’re on a secret mission. ‘Above Dark Matters’ secret. How about you?” This was a ridiculous cover, but he’d gotten away with stranger, besides, he was a little distracted by the woman Juno had been speaking to, looking their way, hungrily, no doubt at his companion. Peter’s grip around Juno tightened, and, to his surprise, Juno leaned into it.

“Really? Above Dark Matters? Juno, that’s great! Wow, Sasha must’ve flipped when you told her!”

“I didn’t Mercury, that’s what secret means. And I didn’t tell her about the mister either, and if you do, I’ll gut you like a fish.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Good. Hey, my husband asked a good question, why are you here?”

“I thought it might be good to get off of Mars after the whole Newtown debacle, so I got a job at a catering company, and then I got fired for eating all of the cupcakes, so I decided to join the party, and they haven’t noticed yet.”

Juno snickered. "Glad to see you're back to normal."

"Yeah, me too. Being responsible was exhausting, even with the good habits some of it brought. Anyways, I'll get back to the party, let you two plan out your secret mission," Mick finished that statement walking backward and, when it was finished, promptly ran into a plant. 

"What was that about?" Juno asked. "I mean, I get that you had to lie to him, but why... That?"

"Why did you leave me in that hotel room?" Peter asked. He'd meant it as a joke, at Juno's expense, of course, but it came off a bit more genuine than he would have liked.

Juno flinched, and for a moment, all Peter wanted to do was sweep him up in a hug, apologize for bringing it up and move on, but Peter was allowed to be angry. After what felt like an eternity but was probably 5 seconds tops, Juno spoke, "We need to talk about that eventually. You know. If we're gonna be working together."

"And we will, Dear Detective, but not right now. I believe the bidding is starting soon."

---

The bidding did not go as planned. While Peter would like to claim it was entirely the fault of his accomplice, he would be dishonest if he did so, and Peter Nureyev lied to many people, but not himself. Mostly.

Their new plan was as followed, Juno would continue to distract Ms. Zolotovna -the woman, who'd been eyeing him all night- and Peter would swipe it while nobody- not even the cameras- was looking. The first flaw of this plan came from one Mick Mercury, who was really starting to piss Peter off.

Mick had cornered him while he was making his rounds to destroy all the cameras.

"Hey! Uh... I never got your name, but Juno's husband!"

Peter turned around a little more aggressively than he meant to. "Yes?" He asked, already on his last nerve.

"I- uhh... listen, bud, this conversation is gonna be real awkward if you don't give me something to call you."

Peter quickly scanned his brain for a moniker he'd used with Juno, one that the lady may have mentioned to Mick in passing but not have gone into too much detail. There was only one with the chance of fitting the bill. "Rex. My name is Rex."

Mick's eyes lit up with recognition, and Peter immediately regretted his decision to use a name that had been plastered all over Hyperion to a native of the area. But there didn't seem to be any panic in Mick's eyes. Just... worry.

"Listen," Mick said, more serious than he had been all night. "I don't wanna give you some shovel talk. I'm sure you already got that from Rita." Peter had, which was strange considering Juno swore up and down that he never mentioned their past relationship. "But I just want you to know that, when all that went down, and you left, you really broke his heart. So just- be careful this time, okay? You and I both know he's more delicate than he lets on, and I can tell from the way you look at him that you love him, so just don't mess it up. Please?"

There was a definite moment where Peter stopped breathing until he remembered Juno and he were posing as newlyweds. He then forced his well-practiced laugh and asked, "Am I that obvious?"

"Yeah, like the way you were glaring at Ms. Zolotovna? You looked like you wanted to kill her! Oh! But you don't have to worry about that. Juno looked like he was just as close to killing her as you were, and I don't think he's ever cheated in his life. Well, there was that one time, in second grade when he-"

Mercury went on rambling for a while. He and Rita would get along swimmingly. Not that Peter was paying attention. No, he was far too busy staring into space. Apparently, Mick thought he was jealous of Ms. Zolotovna. Which, of course, couldn't be farther from the truth. He'd just been bothered that Juno would allow himself to become so distracted, that was all... Mostly.

Looking at him with Zolotovna felt wrong. Of course, it felt wrong, Peter tried to convince himself. Once upon a time, he had been in love with Juno. Even if those feelings had since dissipated it still made his stomach churn to think of Juno with anyone else. Maybe that wasn't healthy. Peter was starting to think maybe Juno was right about them needing to talk. But now was not the time nor the place for a heart. Just another thing for him to file away.

Right, Mercury was talking to him. God, Peter really needed to swipe that map so they could get out of there. "Well, Mick. I can assure you, I'd sooner die than hurt Juno. Will that be all?"

Mick seemed to have been interrupted mid-sentence, but he was friends with Juno, so Peter assumed he was used to it. "Oh! No, Juno wanted me to go get you for your-" he dropped his voice to a stage whisper "-secret-ay mission-ay."

Peter's brain stopped for a solid second. "Was that- was that meant to be Pig Latin?"

"No," Mick said, winking dramatically.

Peter followed Mick, a tad bit shaken by the implication that Mick Mercury didn't know what Pig Latin was in the slightest until the pair eventually reached Juno.

"Took you long enough, what? Were you stuck in a flowerpot?" The lady asked when they'd reached him.

Peter laughed, not entirely sure who the question was directed at. "Mick tells me you have a plan?"

"Not a plan, an observation. There's a camera trained on the map, one which you won't have time to dismantle before the dance begins in-" Juno looked at the grand clock in the center of the room "-4 minutes."

Peter grimaced in thought before eventually coming up with a solution. "Mick, when I give you a signal, try to get caught. Juno and I'll give you a lift back to Mars."

Peter was expecting some resistance from Mick, but he just nodded enthusiastically, "Okay, Rex. Uhh... I'm not really used to all this spy stuff. What's the signal?"

Peter only thought for a moment before coming up with an answer, "I'll trip on my heels."

Juno laughed, "Babe, that's a shit idea. What if you actually trip?"

Peter pointedly ignored the feeling in his chest when Juno called him 'babe' and instead responded, "I don't trip, dear."

Juno blushed and began to argue before being interrupted as the dance began. Peter silently held his hand out for Juno to take, and the lady barely hesitated before taking it.

Once they were far enough from Mick, Juno began to snicker softly to himself.

"What?"

"Feeling nostalgic, Rex?"

Peter laughed along with him. "What? It's the only name I could imagine you bringing up. Granted, I didn't expect it to stick with Mercury, but uh... I'm-"

"Don't. At least you had a reason. I was just scared."

"Of what?"

"Later, Nureyev," Juno whispered.

As they walked onto the dance floor, Peter could almost laugh with delight. Zolotovna hadn't been tracking his companion this entire night. She'd been tracking him. Maybe that said something about his self-confidence, maybe it said something about his affection for Juno, or maybe all it said was he would not make a very good detective. Either way, there would be a slight change in their normal routine.

"Juno, I do believe you'll have to be the one to swipe the map, someone seems to be watching me."

'Ugh! She's still doing it? That's messed up. Like our cover is as a married couple, and she has no problem making goo-goo eyes at you!"

Peter laughed, "Madam Dauphine, are you jealous?" 

Juno gave him a smirk, "Of course not, Monsieur Dauphine. I know you have better taste than that."

"I must've if I married you."

Juno gave him a smile. Not the snarky one Peter'd been expecting. A soft smile, one full of admiration. Peter remembered this smile, right after they'd stopped Miasma, and Juno miraculously survived, bleeding from one eye and looking at Peter as if he'd been the one locking himself in a room about to explode.

"What's with that look?" Peter asked.

"Nothing," Juno said. "I just forgot how fun it is to work with you when you aren't pretending to be someone else."

Peter grinned at Juno as they separated. Him going to distract Zolotovna, Juno going to swipe a billion-dollar artifact.

---

Their plan had gone off without a hitch, Zolotovna was rambling on with some love confession, or the other, and Peter was pretending to listen, watching in awe as Juno gracefully swiped their prize from behind his glasses. Peter had come up with some logical reason to reject Zolotovna, guessing she wouldn't be all too satisfied with the excuse of "I'm happily married," something about organized crime. He doesn't remember. Even managed to get a little over a billion creds from her.

He then made his way over to Juno. Planning on waiting a few minutes to escape into the crowd before signaling Mercury. And as he made his way to Juno, a golden goddess, a perfect image of beauty and grace, with his dark brown skin and curly hair and the scars scattered across his skin. Peter did the unthinkable. He tripped. Too distracted by the image in front of him to notice his misstep. That is until Mercury started taunting the guards.

Then he, Juno, and Mercury were running across the yard to where Jet was waiting with the car. At some point, Peter's arm had ended up around Juno's waist, likely when he nearly fell over trying to throw his heels off and grabbed onto Peter for stability. They finally reached the car, and Juno threw open the door, the three of them clamoring in at top speed.

"Hello, Ransom, Juno. Who's this?" Jet asked in the same deadpan tone, as always.

"We'll tell you later, now fucking drive!" Juno rushed, a little breathless.

"Alright, then. Buckle your seatbelts."

"Go!"

---

When they got back to the ship, Buddy spent approximately 30 minutes rotating between tearing Peter and Juno to shreds for their performance and greeting Mick and asking if he was staying for dinner. She did, however, agree to bring Mick back to Mars before making their way to their next mission.

Later, Peter and Buddy had a much kinder conversation. One that brought up an emotion that Peter had not felt in a very long time. Familial love. He would try not to think too much of it, but an undeniable comfort had begun to settle into Peter's stomach.

There was another knock on the door after she left, and he already knew who it was. Finally, after nearly a year, it was later.

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

“Okay so is everyone clear on the plan?” Alex looked around the DEO mission briefing table, hands flat on the surface in her most commanding and authoritative stance.

Nia and Brainy nodded, Nia with her arms crossed and Brainy with his hands steepled in front of him in a serious manner. Kelly rolled her eyes but nodded too.

“Good.” Alex gave a curt nod and pushed away from the table. “We will meet back here at 19:00 hours for the debriefing.”

“Um… babe?” Kelly put a hand on Alex’s forearm and leaned towards her and Alex softened, smiling dopily at her. “Our dinner reservation is for 6:30.”

“Yeah and Brainy and I have a date too.” Nia looped her arm through Brainy’s, grinning.

“Yes.” Brainy looked pleased with himself and subconsciously leaned further into Nia’s side. “We are going paintballing.”

Alex hummed. “Okay well everyone just keep the group chat updated and we’ll meet up tomorrow.”

They dispersed and the plan was set into motion.

Phase 1 - Alex

Alex strode through the halls of the DEO with purpose, rubber soles of her boots not making much sound. Part of her envied the intimidating click of Lena’s heels but J’onn had shut down her suggestion of adding studs to the bottom of her boots, claiming it would undermine the stealth aspect of the design.

She entered her little office and flopped down in the chair, propping her feet up on the desk. She dialed Kara’s number, chewing on a jolly rancher from the secret stash in the drawer that Kara thought held boring paperwork as it rang.

“Hey Alex. What’s up?”

“Hey Kara. I - … where are you? Shouldn’t you be at CatCo?” The faint sound of traffic and the wind crackled through the phone speaker and Alex frowned.

“I’m just on my lunch break.”

“Oh.” Alex glanced at her watch. There was still an hour before phase 2 so Kara would probably be back at CatCo by then. “Ok. So what are you doing tonight? Sorry again that I can’t spend tonight with you.”

“No it’s fine - you have fun with Kelly. Lena and I were just going to have a movie night together.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows rose. That was easier than expected.

“Yeah, well neither of us was going to spend Valentine’s Day with anyone else so…”

Hm. That was going to be Alex’s argument. At least Kara was unknowingly cooperating with the secret plan.

She and Lena were getting insufferable with their heart eyes and yearning and so Alex had decided to take matters into her own hands with the help of their friends. (Kelly had been somewhat reluctant but Alex promised they wouldn’t push Kara or Lena to do anything, they would just… gently direct them in the direction they all knew they were heading anyway.) And so Mission: Get The Idiots Together was born. … Along with the group chat where they complained about the two idiots in question.

“Well ok then. Have a good day.”

“You too. Bye, Alex. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Alex hung up and leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers together and feeling like a Bond villain. Ah yes, it was all coming together now.

Phase 2 - Nia

Nia: Guys it’s all falling apart already

Nia glanced around the CatCo bullpen again, leg nervously bouncing. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked back at it, totally-not-suspiciously under her desk. It was a reply from Alex.

Alex: What?? What’s going on?

Nia: Kara’s not here

Alex: She told me she was at lunch over an hour ago! She must be back by now

Nia: Well she’s not! What do I do???

Brainy: Do not worry - I have just just seen her exiting L-corp and she informed me she was heading back to CatCo.

Alex: Ok great. Nobody panic.

Kelly: You guys are taking this way too seriously

Nia: Ok I’ll just do it when she gets back

Alex: Oh btw Kara said they’ve already planned to have a movie night together tonight so that makes our job easier

Brainy: Wait - if they’re already meeting tonight then what is the purpose of my visit to L-corp?

Phase 3 - Brainy

Brainy frowned down at his phone but at that moment the elevator dinged and the doors slid open on Lena’s floor. He stepped out, putting his phone away and nervously smoothing his shirt. Improvisation. He could do that. This plan definitely wasn’t going to end in disaster.

He nodded politely to Jess and she smiled. “Hello. I am here to see Lena Luthor.”

Jess bit back an amused smile and picked up the phone on her desk. “Miss Luthor? Querl Dox is here to see you.” She put it down after a moment and gestured to the large double doors. “You can go right in.”

Brainy nodded again in thanks and moved towards the office. Perhaps they should have drafted Jess into the plan.

Lena stood up and rounded her desk with a slightly confused yet genuine smile as he entered. “Brainy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He cleared his throat, standing awkwardly in the middle of her office. “I just came to see you. As friends do. Which we are.”

Lena’s eyebrows climbed almost imperceptibly. “Right. Drink?”

Brainy shook his head and she moved over to the side of her office to pour herself a glass of water. “So… I hear you and Kara are having a movie night tonight.”

A little bit of water sloshed over the side of the glass as Lena was pouring it. She had a faint blush on her cheeks when she turned back around which was odd because the AC in her office seemed to be working fine.

“Yes. Well we assumed you would all be too busy to join us. Are you and Nia doing anything tonight?” She sipped her water and moved back to lean against her desk.

Brainy lit up at the mention of Nia. “Yes! We are going paintballing.”

He spent the next half an hour talking about his date with Nia and Nia in general until they both had to get back to work.

Phase 2 (attempt 2) - Nia

“Kara!” Nia slid up to walk along beside her as she stepped from the elevator into the bullpen.

Kara smiled and started walking towards her desk. “Hey, Nia. What’s up?”

“Nothing! I mean… lots of things. The sky, the ceiling, …clouds.”

Kara looked at her a bit weirdly and she laughed awkwardly.

“Anyway… just came to see how you are, mentor.” She lightly punched Kara in the arm.

Kara raised an eyebrow, looking down at where Nia had punched her before slowly sitting down at her desk. “I’m good. Thank you.”

“Great! Oh by the way,” Nia smoothly segued into her part of the mission with complete subtlety and absolutely no suspiciousness, “I accidentally double ordered flowers and chocolates for Brainy. I figured I’d give one lot to you and maybe you could do something with them.”

She rushed over to her desk and grabbed the bouquet of flowers and heart-shaped box of chocolates waiting there, depositing them in front of Kara.

“Oh wow. Thanks Nia.” Kara grinned up at her before picking up the box of chocolates and peeling off the sellotape.

Nia’s eyes widened and she tried not to scream in panic as Kara opened the box and just started eating the chocolates. Kara offered one to her with a smile and she managed to croak out a “no thanks” before she ran off back to her desk to inform the group chat of the latest development.

Phase 4 - Kelly

Kelly sighed as her phone blew up with notifications of her panicking group of friends. How this had ended up being her life was a mystery.

The elevator slowed and opened to the bustling CatCo bullpen just as she saw Kara disappear through the emergency exit at the back. She sighed again and got straight back into the elevator, unlocking her phone.

Kelly: I’m guessing Kara just got called away for a Supergirl emergency?

Alex: Sorry

Kelly: Phase 4 failed

Alex: Shit. Brainy, I need you to take over phase 4 when Kara gets back to the DEO. Kelly, you just get to L-corp.

Nia: Wait but if I’m now going to L-corp to give Lena chocolates instead won’t it be a little suspicious that we’ve all suddenly decided to to go visit her on the same day?

Alex: Shit you’re right. Ok, Nia, you take over phase 6 while you’re at L-corp and Kelly, you come by Kara’s later for phase 4.

Phase 4b - Brainy

Brainy stared at his phone, unsure whether he was still supposed to be attempting phase 4. Before he could ask, Kara strode up beside him and sat on the desk he was sitting at.

“Did you see how hard I hit that guy?” Kara grinned, swinging her legs.

Brainy gulped, quickly turning off his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. “Yes. Very impressive. Is Alex back yet?”

Kara shook her head. “She and the backup team are just on their way back with the bad guy.”

He nodded. Right. Motivate Kara to tell Lena about her feelings. He could do this.

“Did you know that the mortality rate of unmarried people is much higher than that of married people?”

Kara’s head snapped over to him with a mildly horrified expression. “What?”

Perhaps that was not the right starting point. “Well… maybe that means one could keep someone they care about from dying so much by… marrying them?”

Kara chuckled. “Unfortunately I’m not sure marriage is a cure for death.”

There was a sadness creeping in behind her eyes and Brainy began to panic even further. Making Kara upset was definitely not part of the plan. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind to try to cheer her up again.

“Do you want to see a video of baby pandas that Nia sent me?”

Alex gave them a bit of an odd look when she got back to see them laughing at videos of pandas rolling around but Brainy would say improvised phase 4 had been a success.

Phase 2.5/ 6 - Kelly Nia

Nia strode into Lena’s office with her most friendly and least suspicious smile.

“Nia. What a surprise. You and Brainy in one day.” Lena stood and gave Nia a brief but warm hug.

She was wearing a jade sheath dress that brought out the green in her eyes, with sleeves that came down to just above her elbows. Her usual deep red lipstick was missing, replaced with a natural colour (or it may have just been lip balm). Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and had been left slightly wavy rather than perfectly straightened. At least they didn’t have to worry about making sure Lena looked good for tonight.

“Hey Lena. I just came by because I ordered too many chocolates for Brainy and I thought maybe you could have one to give to someone or something.” She sat casually in front of Lena’s desk, pulling another box of chocolates she had bought on the way over out her back and setting them on the desk.

Lena sat back down with an amused smile. “How thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

“You know,” Nia relaxed back into the chair, looking off into the distance in a completely normal and not at all overly dramatic gesture. “I’m so glad Brainy and I talked about how we felt. We’re so happy together and I can’t imagine how much I would have regretted not saying anything. You know… because we’re so happy together now and we wouldn’t be if neither of us had said anything”

Lena nodded slowly. “I’m glad you’re both so happy together.”

“And you know, we should always speak our minds.” She adopted the persona of a motivational speaker, channeling her inner Kelly. “Because we can’t let ourselves be silenced, Lena. You are a powerful woman with a great mind, great hair, and a jawline that could cut glass.”

“... thank you?”

Nia placed her hand over Lena’s on the desk, nodding seriously. “You’re welcome.”

And with that she stood and strutted out of the room.

Nailed it.

Phase 7 - Alex

Alex turned up at Kara’s just after she got home. Kara opened the door, looking very confused at the sight of her sister.

“Alex? What are you doing here? Don’t you have to get ready for your date?”

Alex pushed into the apartment, patting Kara’s arm on the way past. “I just came to see my little sister beforehand. Make sure you’re doing okay.”

Kara closed the door with a raised eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Alex shrugged, dropping her bag onto the kitchen island with a clunk. “Well I just wanted to see you since I can’t spend the evening with you. I didn’t want you to feel alone.”

Kara glanced at her watch. “Oh. Ok. Well Lena’s going to be here soon so you don’t have to worry.”

Alex waved her off and moved into her bedroom, flicking through the clothes on the rack.

“... what are you doing?”

Alex ignored her, picking out a neat navy blue button down. “Hey, why don’t you wear this? I haven’t seen you in it before.”

Kara frowned. “I’ve definitely worn that around you before.”

“Well I don’t remember.” She shoved the shirt into Kara’s arms and directed her towards the bathroom. “Put it on for me.” She decided Kara’s beige slacks were good enough, not wanting to push too far. Her hair was already perfectly curled in a half up half down look as though she had only just done it so that was fine.

Kara appeared again a moment later in the new shirt looking confused. Alex interrupted her before she could say anything.

“Brrrr. It’s cold in here.”

Kara frowned. “Is it?”

“Yes. Us humans get cold, you know.” She moved into the kitchen, not taking any questions. “You should light some candles.”

“Candles? To warm my apartment?”

Alex ignored her, rifling through cupboards for matches. She found them with a bunch of Kara’s own candles. A rather large number of candles actually that all looked new and smelled nice. Looks like she hauled all those candles over in her handbag for nothing.

Kara helped her set up the candles nicely around her apartment, continuously glancing over at her as though worried Alex had sustained some kind of head injury.

Alex was saved from having to come up with a more plausible explanation by a knock on the door.

Phase 4 (attempt ?) - Kelly

“Kelly? What are you doing here?”

Kelly hugged Kara and made her way into the now softly glowing and smelling faintly of sandalwood apartment. “I came to see you. I know how hard it can be for some people on Valentine’s day if they don’t have a romantic partner. But it’s completely normal and we shouldn’t be made to feel any less for it - in fact there are plenty of people who never have a relationship and lead very happy and fulfilled lives.”

Alex elbowed her in the side, smiling innocently.

Kelly cleared her throat, pushing back at Alex a little. “Although we also shouldn’t be afraid to look for a relationship. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and others, and sometimes things that seem scary can actually be okay and very rewarding.”

Alex nodded along beside her and Kara looked between the two of them.

She nodded slowly. “Right.”

Another knock at the door drew Kara’s attention away and Alex sighed in relief, holding her hand up to Kelly for a sneaky high five which she returned with an eye roll.

Kara’s voice took on a breathy awed quality that only ever appeared around Lena as she opened the door. “Lena. Hi.”

Lena smiled shyly, ducking her head. “Hi.”

Kara stepped aside to let her in, taking her coat.

“Hey Lena.” Alex waved at her.

Lena’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Alex. Kelly. I thought you two had a date?”

Alex nodded excessively, taking Kelly’s hand. “Yes we do. And we should really be going so that we’re not late.”

They awkwardly sidled between Kara and Lena out of the apartment, looking one last time between them before smiling and walking off down the hall.

Alex grinned as she heard the door close behind them. “Do you think it worked?”

Phase …???

They were just leaving Kara’s building when Nia and Brainy came running up to them.

“Alex! Kelly!” Nia doubled over, hands on her knees and breathing hard as she reached them. She thrust her hand out towards them, bouquet of roses clutched in her fist. “Kara forgot the flowers at CatCo.”

Alex gasped and snatched them from her hand, turning to rush back inside. Everyone else ran after her, taking the stairs two at a time. They stomped down the hall to Kara’s door and Alex pushed it open, all four of them bursting in.

Kara and Lena were locked in an open mouthed kiss in the kitchen, Lena pressed up against the island as Kara gripped her hips, thumb slipping under her shirt. Lena’s hands were tangled in Kara’s hair, pulling her closer in a decidedly non-platonic way. A bouquet of plumerias sat on the island behind them and the dining table was laid romantically with a meal that looked to be from France.

The pair sprang apart at the loud bang of Kara’s door against the wall, Lena ducking her head and pulling her lips into her mouth as Kara moved slightly in front of her as though attempting to hide that they had just been thoroughly making out.

The four in the doorway gaped at the scene before them.

“Well. I guess the plan worked.”

[kiarcheo]

A Whole New World    5/10

Jane and Kat find out there is more to each other…and to the new world they have found themselves in.

Read on Ao3 too

                                 ——————————————–

‘Look what I’ve got?!’

Kat grabs the slips of paper Jane is waving in her face. They are train tickets. ‘Okay?’

‘Do you know what’s there?’

‘No?’ Kat is confused but can’t help smiling at Jane’s excitement.

‘Amusement park!’

‘Really?’

‘Yes! We’re going to make a day out of it.’

‘What about the others?’ As much as she chafes at being ‘controlled’, a whole day out, leaving the city, probably warrants a heads-up at the very least.

‘Sadly they are unable to join us as they all have prior commitments either in the morning or in the afternoon.’ Jane doesn’t sound sad at all.

‘You cheeky fox.’

‘Nobody expects subterfuge from the village idiot.’

‘Hey, that’s my role! You’re Dumb, but I’m Dumber.’ Kat swats at her.

‘We should get that on t-shirts.’

‘And you’re clearly the brain of our duo.’

‘Wow,’ Jane brings a hand to her chest, ‘nobody ever accused me of such a thing.’

‘Well, certainly you’re not the brawn. You might have built some muscles in your legs skating, but you still have noodle arms.’

/

‘Would you like a map?’ the cashier at the entrance asks as he hands them their wristbands.

‘Yes, please, it’s our first time visiting.’

‘Then you choose a good day. Mid-week we don’t get too many people so you can enjoy and explore the grounds without too much crowds...and queues.’

They move away from the gates before stopping.

‘Where to first?’

They both look around in awe.

‘Adult slides?’

They study the map trying to find them. ‘Here!’ a finger points the number corresponding to the picture. ‘Astroglide here we come!’

.

‘Should we try something else?’ Kat asks, picking up her mat, after they had gone down the slides various times. ‘We can come back,’ she adds seeing the yearning look Jane shoots the attraction.

‘Do you want to...’ Jane points towards the roller coaster.

‘Honestly?’

Jane nods.

‘Not really?’ Kat winces as even on the ground they can hear the people currently on it screaming their heads off.

‘Thank God,’ Jane breaths out. She is not keen on being that far up in the air. She is sure it’s safe and all, but like with airplanes, she doesn't really want to test it herself.

They keep walking around. ‘What about this?’ Jane asks stopping in front of a garish bright structure that announces itself to be a fun house.

.

‘Never again,’ Kat pants out, face flushed and hair escaping her ponytail. ‘Never been this close to dying for a second time!’

‘There is nothing fun about dying of a heart attack,’ Jane agrees, hands clutching her chest. ‘At the cost of sounding like an old lady–’  

‘Yes.’ Kat nods. She can’t find it in herself to muster up her usual teasing about Jane’s age. It’s like she has lost her sass together with her breath. ‘Let’s find something nice and calm.’

The hall of mirrors proves to be the right choice, leaving them breathless but this time with laughter.

.

‘Are they crashing into each other on purpose?’ Kat looks on confused as colourful little cars bump into others much to the hilarity of everyone involved.

‘Fancy a drive?’ Jane elbows her. ‘Could be a literal crash course on driving.’

Kat rolls her eyes at the pun, but soon they find themselves seated onto a small, pink bumper car, Kat at the wheel.

‘You know how you said you have no plans to get a car?’ Jane asks, bracing herself, as once again the car jerks, the forward movement immediately stopping as Kat tries to figure out how to drive it. ‘Please stick to that.’

‘Let’s see how you do then!’

She makes to stand up, car still in the middle of the floor with people bumping into them.

‘Maybe we should pull over to one side before swapping?’ Jane throws an arm around her waist, stopping her.

‘That's the whole problem!’ Kat snarks. ‘If I could do that, we wouldn’t be swapping.’

Thankfully the time runs out and all cars slow down. Some people leave theirs, new people getting in, others stay waiting for the new session to start. And Kat and Jane trade places.

‘Never getting into a car with you,’ Kat informs her cousin as they leave the attraction.

‘What? Why? I was good!’ And she was. In the thick of the action, skilfully – especially for a first timer – trying to evade getting bumped while chasing others, and gleefully and viciously crashing into them.

‘Because I saw the glint in your eyes. You make for a scary driver. And I bet that you would have road rage.’

/

‘What happened?’

Jane and Kat, who had just returned home, stare at Anna confused.

‘Your...’ the fourth queen motions with her finger to her forehead.

The cousins look at each other. Then realisation dawns on Kat. Indeed, there is a red mark on Jane's forehead.

‘She walked into a glass wall,’ Kat reveals with a giggle.

‘All your fault.’

‘Mine?’

‘Yes! Who distracted me?’

‘I just called your name. It was you who decided to turn around to flip me off, and consequently headed straight into it. How is that my fault??’ Kat protests. ‘Also, headed....because you went with your head in first, you got it?’

Jane storms off.

‘She doesn’t want to admit that the pun was brilliant and she loved it,’ Kat tells Anna before going to the kitchen.

.

‘Aaaahh!’ Jane screams jerking away. ‘Bloody hell, K, it’s cold!’

‘Well, it is ice.’ Kat holds the pack up with a grin. ‘For your head.’

Jane snatches it from her. ‘That was not my head.’

‘I thought about throwing it at you...’ Kat plops down on the bed.

‘How is slapping it on my nape any better?’ Jane grumbles but joins her on the bed, scooting towards the wall to lean against it. She tilts her head backward so that the ice pack stays in place without holding it there.

‘Does it hurt?’ Kat asks, genuine concern in her voice.

‘Not really. Only if I furrow my brows.’

‘Then don’t,’ Kat says, moving so that she is in the same position, back against the wall.

‘Thanks for the advice, Doctor Howard,’ Jane remarks drolly. ‘What are you going to do?’ she then asks out of the blue.

‘Uh?’

‘The number.’

‘Oh,’ Kat hums in realisation. ‘Nothing.’

‘You are not going to call?’

‘I don’t even know her. All we exchanged was, well, our orders and some small talk.’ And then as they were leaving, the waitress had handed her a slip with her phone number, along with the receipt for their food. ‘And I live in a different city anyway.’

‘So it’s not because it’s a girl?’

Kat stiffens. An uneasy silence falls as she stares at her lap, picking at the skin around her nails until Jane’s hand covers them, stilling their movement.

‘It’s okay.’

'Is it?‘

‘Of course.’ Jane hasn’t heard such vulnerability in Kat’s voice...well, she never did. She IS cagey with her feelings, and even once they got closer, Kat had switched from not talking about how she feels to talking about it sarcastically. ‘I don’t care who you like, as long as they treat you well.’

Kat twists around to hug her. ‘Best sister I could have asked for.’

‘Cousin. Second cousin.’

‘Shut up,’ Kat grumbles. ‘You know what I meant.’ She releases her. ‘We were having a moment and you ruined it.’

Jane knows Kat is not really upset, but– ‘I love you too.’

‘Now,’ she drawls, ‘I never said that.’

Jane shoves Kat, who ends up sprawled on the bed. ‘Now who is the one ruining the moment?’

/

‘Ow!’ Kat rubs her arm. ‘I did not throw the ice pack at you! And a book hurts more.’

A flash of remorse appears on Jane’s face, before vanishing. ‘You deserve it.’

‘I deserve to have a book chucked at me?’

‘Yes. Because you told me to read it.’

Kat picks it up to look at the title. ‘I just told you about the series.’ She had not read it herself. ‘But I thought you liked the first one?’

‘Exactly. Except the others are terrible.’

‘I’m…sorry? But I can’t really do anything about that?’

Jane still looks quite...perhaps not upset, but annoyed.

‘Want to talk about it?’

The regret starts fifteen minutes into Jane’s rant.

‘Am I right?’

Kat blinks at her. ‘I have not read any of them, so I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

Jane deflates.

‘How you tried checking online?’ Kat suggests. ‘It was a really popular series so I‘m sure that there are other people who didn’t like it...maybe you can find some to complain with?’

.

‘You were right,’ Jane announces, walking into Kat's room.

‘I usually am,’ Kat says cheekily, ‘but about what?’

‘There are lots of people hating those bloody books. Or better, the wasted potential of them. They are even writing alternative storylines and endings!’

‘Are you going to do it too? I remember you having lots of opinions and ideas on how the story should have gone.’

Jane stares at her for a long moment. ‘Do you think I could?’

‘Of course.’ Kat has no hesitation whatsoever.

‘Really?’ Jane seems to have plenty of them though. ‘I mean, I know I’m not Cathy.’

‘Just because she was the one who wrote in the past, it doesn’t mean she is the only one allowed to write now,’ Kat points out. ‘Perhaps we should all die again soon too, since–’

‘Fine, fine, I get it, no need to–’ Kat has a point, but still... She blows out a breath. ‘But I’ve never done it. Not now that we’re back, and certainly not in the past.’

‘Everyone has to start somewhere. And it’s not like you have to publish or anything like that, you know? If you want to write, write. Even if you do it just for yourself.’

[wickedmilo]

IT’S NOT NOTHING | MILO & ORION PART 2

PLACE: Orion’s house TIMING: 11:48 AM SUMMARY: Milo treats Orion to breakfast as an apology for not leaving before sunrise, and the two make the best of their day together WRITING PARTNER: @3starsquinn CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of addiction, drug abuse, drug manipulation, self harm, physical abuse, emotional abuse

There was a pain in Orion’s back as he slowly woke up. He stretched his arms, slowly realizing that he wasn’t on his bed at all. He paused for a moment, noting the smell of grease and noise from another part of the house. He finally poked a single eye open, taking in the view of his living room. Rio could vaguely recall dozing off the night before. He couldn’t remember the end of the movie either, must have been completely gone by then.  

Rio sat up on the couch, a lone piece of clothing acting as a makeshift blanket falling off of him. He grabbed the hoodie and picked it up, looking at the front and remembering that it was the same one that Milo had been wearing the night before. How had that ended up on him? Rio pulled himself off the couch and onto his feet, wrapping the hoodie around his waist and moving towards the noise in the kitchen. Though he knew exactly who was there, he hadn’t completely figured out why yet.  

Standing in the kitchen and working with the small amount of food that Rio actually had was Milo, no longer wearing the hoodie he had before and still here despite the daylight. “Morning.” Rio muttered, still trying to wake up and figure out what he had stuck around for. “I didn’t expect you to still be here.” 

Milo felt more than a little guilty about staying with Orion. Sitting beside him on the couch, slowly watching the sun rise through the small gap in the curtains, he had found himself on multiple occasions questioning whether he was doing the right thing. Sure, it felt wrong to leave Orion so vulnerable, especially without saying goodbye. But staying with him meant staying. If he didn’t leave before the sun came up then he quite literally couldn’t leave. Rio would be stuck with him for the entire day, and was that fair? Was he crossing a line? Ultimately, he had taken one look at his sleeping friend, and found himself unable to move. It felt good to be trusted, but so meaningful to watch over him while he rested. Realistically, he knew nothing bad was going to happen, but in a way he was repaying him for keeping him safe. Maybe they could keep each other safe. 

When the sun had fully risen, he finally, begrudgingly pushed himself to stand. The expression on Orion’s face was so genuinely peaceful, he was terrified of startling him, but he had things to do, things that would hopefully make up for the fact that he was essentially forcing his company. He was careful to be quiet, attempting to tap into his apparent ‘supernatural stealth’ as he cleaned up any evidence of their movie night. He wasn’t entirely sure how long it had taken him to complete the short list of chores, but when everything had been washed and put away, it only made sense to make a start on breakfast. Having never been much of a cook, he settled on scrambled eggs. One of the first things he had learned to make as a student. He had no idea whether Orion even liked eggs, but if they were in his kitchen it felt like a safe enough bet. He was so distracted by the task at hand, that he didn’t notice Orion had woken until he was standing in the doorway, commenting on his unexpected presence. Looking up, he offered his friend a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry… I couldn’t bring myself to leave, not while you were sleeping.” He admitted. “But I’m making you breakfast.” He added, lifting the pan a little to draw attention to the eggs cooking inside it. “Y’know… because now you have to deal with me for the day, and I know that wasn’t the plan.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I’m not mad about it.” Orion smiled. He couldn’t believe he had somehow slept through Milo moving about and starting breakfast. Beyond that, he couldn’t believe he had slept so long at all. Usually, he found himself tossing and turning all night, jumping awake at every small sound and lying in the dark trying to get back to sleep. Yet for some reason he had managed to get what felt like a full night’s sleep on the couch with another person making noises. His body had gotten so used to minimal sleep that the deeper sleep might actually be causing the grogginess that Rio was feeling. “It smells amazing. Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.” It certainly wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

The idea of more time not alone was a bigger benefit than Milo could possibly know. The fact that it was him was an added bonus. “Sounds good to me. I’m sure we can survive for the day.” Rio slid onto one of the stools and propped his elbows on the kitchen island, resting his chin on his knuckles, “So then, what’s the big plan for today? Movies? Games? I have a pool that hardly gets used. If you like swimming at all.” 

“You’re not?” Milo felt his heart warm at the sentiment, he only hoped Orion was being genuine, and not polite for the sake of protecting his feelings. He felt as though they might be past that, but that didn’t stop the small spark of doubt. It seemed to settle in the back of his mind, and he did what he could to ignore it. “How did you sleep?” He asked, turning his attention back to the food. “You looked so comfortable, I thought about waking you up but honestly, it would have been cruel.” He admitted, a quiet laugh escaping him. “I also thought about taking a selfie, but you’ll be pleased to know I refrained.” Shaking his head at his friend’s insistence, he did need to do this. If he didn’t then what was he offering? What was he doing to make his day more bearable than it would have been if he had left like he was supposed to? Rio had been expecting a quiet day alone, and his plans had been dashed. He wanted that to be okay. He wanted Rio to be okay. “I had a feeling you might skip breakfast if I didn’t make it for you.” He said, only half teasing. “So it’s like self-care, only Milo is forcing it on you… It’s Milo-care.” He grinned at his own ridiculous joke, pouring the eggs out onto a plate before setting them down in front of Orion on the counter. He was strangely proud of himself, it had been a long time since he had last tried to make eggs, and they had turned out surprisingly well.  

Finding a fork to hand over, he began the process of turning off appliances, and washing up the pan he had made use of, only glancing back up when Orion spoke again. “Are you sure?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “I think we both have a habit of getting into trouble.” Possibly the understatement of the year, and far too romanticised considering the context of the ‘trouble’ they usually found themselves in. But it felt good to be light-hearted, he wasn’t about to put a downer on the conversation by reminding Rio he had shunned his life as a Hunter and turned Dani against him. In the same way he wasn’t about to remind himself he had quite literally died and was now doomed to spend his days as a vampire. His eyes shining as he was presented with a list of possible ways to spend their time, he was so grateful to hear it. Clearly Orion hadn’t felt obligated to say his company was welcome, clearly he really did want to spend time with him today. “Shit, I forgot about the pool.” He admitted. “Do you think your sugar daddy would mind a stranger swimming in his pool? I would hate to upset him, you know? What if he lowers your allowance?”  

“Of course not. You’re always welcome here.” Orion stated casually. To him, this was common knowledge. He was slightly surprised that Milo didn’t realize that by now. “Surprisingly well actually, considering I fell asleep on a couch.” He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that he could fall asleep somewhere slightly uncomfortable. He practically lived at the Scribrary for months and nobody had slept on those mattresses since the eighties. “Wow. I appreciate the self control” Rio laughed attempting to motivate himself to get and and move towards the fridge to pour a drink. It wasn’t working so far. “You could have woken me up though. I would have just moved to the bedroom. No harm no foul.” He couldn’t guarantee he would have gotten back to sleep, but at least it would have taken some pressure off of Milo. Rio narrowed his eyes at Milo’s breakfast skipping comment and folded his fingers together, “As much as I appreciate the ‘Milo-care’, are you just saying that because you think I’m scrawny too? You know everyone in this town calls me that?” He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and sighing heavily. Still, Rio couldn’t help but feel a little emotional at the idea that someone was cooking breakfast for him. It was something small and yet so thoughtful. “Thanks. Seriously.”  

Rio finally convinced himself to slide off the seat, pulling out a gallon of orange juice and pouring a cup for himself, raising the bottle towards Milo as an offering, “Not sure if you like… still drink this stuff?” He hadn’t thought about how little he actually knew about vampires. Though it wasn’t his specialty, he still felt like he should know more. For Milo’s sake if nothing else. “Yeah. Duh. This is way better than being alone all day.” Rio found found his seat again and wasted no time digging into the eggs. “These are delicious” Rio spoke mid mouthful, almost satisfied enough to overlook Milo’s continued comments about a sugar daddy Almost. “I hate you. You’re actually the worst you know?” Rio continued to giggle though, despite his words implying otherwise. “Someone might as well get some use out of it. I don’t really ever go swimming.” 

Milo smiled, really smiled, holding Orion’s gaze for maybe a second too long. “Not many people say that to me and mean it.” He admitted, his voice barely louder than a whisper. After leaving uni, he had developed a habit of couch surfing, anything to avoid going home to his parents. There had been an abundance of friends, or friends of friends, willing to lend him a place to crash. But he had never necessarily been close with these people. They had begrudgingly put up with him, usually because they shared a vice and it made things easier to have connections. Nobody had ever made him feel welcome. “Hm,” his smile growing when Rio mentioned being comfortable on the couch, he was glad going to so much effort not to wake him had been worth it, had genuinely meant something. “I wasn’t about to kick you out,” he said, remembering looking down at his expression, peaceful and soft, realising he couldn’t bring himself to be the one responsible for removing it. Laughing suddenly at the mention of being scrawny, he shook his head, his eyes shining. “No, you dork. I’m saying it because even though it’s like, in vastly different ways, I have a feeling we’re both as self destructive as each other. You basically never sleep, you know? And you’re literally always working, so I figured you skip meals for the convenience? Am I right?” Of course, there was a very big chance he wasn’t right, but until Orion corrected him he was determined to feign confidence. ‘I’m making you breakfast because you probably don’t eat much’ was far less lame than ‘I’m making you breakfast because I really give a shit about you and I want you to be okay.’  

Raising his eyebrows, he leaned back against the counter, observing him to try and see what the town supposedly saw. “They call you scrawny?” He asked. “Who does? I’ll fight them for you.” His expression faltering briefly as he was offered a glass of orange juice, he considered the question, unable to help himself. The popcorn had been passable the previous night, but that had been habit, a comforting action. He wasn’t thirsty for orange juice. Besides, orange juice was expensive, he wasn’t about to waste his friend’s stock for the sake of playing pretend. Not when Rio was already so accepting of his new situation. Shaking his head with a gentle smile, he hesitantly caught his eye. “I mean, i can… it’s just, nothing tastes the same. It’s not bad, I mean… it doesn’t taste bad. It’s more like my tastebuds have gone from a ten to like, maybe a three? Or a four?” He stumbled over his words, realising he had never talked about it before. He barely talked about any of it. Chewing on his bottom lip, he knew a blush would be creeping to his cheeks if his body still worked in that way, so he fell silent, watching quietly as Rio began to eat the eggs he had made.  

After a minute or two had passed, and he hadn’t dropped dead over his plate, he figured the meal could be considered a success. His standards weren’t exactly high considering his track record of abject failures. Apparently Rio agreed. “If I was really the worst, then you wouldn’t put up with me.” He pointed out, his heart warmed by the thought of Orion genuinely enjoying his company, genuinely enjoying their friendship. It meant so much that somebody was willing to forgive what he was, especially after losing Dani. “I don’t swim really, either. Far too much exercise when your lung capacity is thirty percent.” He teased. “Wait… was thirty percent? Past tense?” How did smoking affect his lungs now? Would his healing abilities somehow repel the tar that once used to coat them? “I’m down for swimming.”  

It was slightly concerning that Milo was that surprised over Orion saying something and meaning it. Or maybe it had less to do with that and more to do with being happy to spend time with him. Either way, it didn’t bode well for the typical friendships he must have. “I don’t like lying. Not if I can help it at least.” Rio attempted to chew his food completely before talking. He forgot when he wasn’t eating alone he needed to have manners. “We got all the hard truths out of the way already. I’m going to be honest with you about things.” Even if he hadn’t wanted to wake Rio up, Milo still had no obligation to stay. As Rio stabbed at the eggs on his plate he wondered what had made him stay. There had been no obligation to do so. “I wouldn’t say that I necessarily ‘skip’ meals” Rio hesitated, putting emphasis on the word as he tried to figure out exactly what he meant, “I just wouldn’t say I have the healthiest diet, y’know? Instead of having breakfast I eat a few snack cakes. Or I’ll skip dinner and run by a bakery and stuff my face with stuff. I don’t think it’s any better.” 

Rio laughed at this threat, “Pretty much the whole town. I don’t know that you’re ready to fight everyone.” The scrawny comments didn’t bother him much anymore, admittedly. He had gotten so used to them that it almost felt endearing now. It was almost odd, feeling noticed when he had spent so much of his life feeling nothing but invisible. When he finally was noticed, he wasn’t mad that it came from a place of worry instead of contempt. “It’s fine. I mean, they’re not wrong.” They just didn’t quite get that could Rio rip a door off of it’s hinges. “Hmm. That’s interesting. Does blood taste any different then?” Rio found himself curious. He had never had the chance to casually talk with a vampire before. Now seemed like the best time. “Like, does it still taste like iron and that just tastes good now? Or is it a different taste entirely?” 

“Oh please, I’ve spent my entire life putting up with people that were the worst,” Rio waved away his comment dismissively with a laugh, but quickly backtracked on that, “However, I’ll admit that I like you more than those people.” He knew Milo would understand that it had been a joke, but Rio felt the need to backtrack regardless. Mostly because he didn’t like the idea of his parents and Milo being compared in the same sentence, even sarcastically. “Well, I told you smoking was bad for you.” Rio shrugged, a smug smirk spread across his face. “I guess technically it can’t be that harmful anymore.” He finished off the eggs and hopped up, abandoning the plate in the sink. “Pool is this way. It’s all yours.” 

“Good to know.” Milo smiled at Rio, it was a casual response, one he knew wouldn’t carry too much weight, but his friend’s words were undeniably comforting to hear. “If I ever do dumb shit though, I will need you to lie about it and save me the embarrassment.” He added, unable to help himself. His smile fading as the conversation became serious again, he hummed quietly in response. Orion was right. What did they really have to hide from each other anymore? In a way, Dani had exposed them both, made them both vulnerable. And neither of them could take that back. He wasn’t sure either of them actually wanted to. It was nice, being so open. For the first time in a long time it felt as though he wasn’t trapped inside his own mind, wasn’t overthinking, or trying to correct himself after making a comment that was a little too close to the truth. “I’m not going to lie to you either, you know…” He said, feeling the cold weight of guilt beginning to settle on his chest. He was being honest, he wasn’t going to lie to Rio. But there was information he had yet to divulge, information he was terrified might push Orion away, or make him realise Dani was right about him being dangerous. There would be a time and a place for that particular admission, it could wait because it needed to. “Okay, well I wasn’t totally off-base.” He countered, when Rio began to insist he didn’t ‘technically’ skip meals. “Unhealthy habits are unhealthy habits.” He added, as though there was no longer any room to argue against him.  

Grinning at the sudden laugh, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Thank you for your faith in me, I could take this town with my eyes closed.” A blatant lie considering how easy he had apparently been to kill. And he still hadn’t really tested his new strength. He could barely even keep Dani away, he was only standing here now because she was continually interrupted in her various missions to kill him. “I don’t look at you and think scrawny, though.” He assured Orion, his smile growing as he prepared to follow up his statement. “Dork, maybe. Nerd, loser… not scrawny.” Glancing back up to catch his eye, surprised by the question, it didn’t take him long to lower his gaze again, almost embarrassed by the topic. “It doesn’t taste different…” He admitted, thinking on the sharp tang, the rich taste of iron as it filled his mouth. “Just better. Think of the best meal you ever fucking had, and times it by a thousand.” He hadn’t considered the fact that his sense of taste had changed specifically to complement blood as a food source. His tastebuds had shaped to it, bent to its will until it tasted better than any human food he could ever remember tasting. “You know, if we ever walk by an iron railing or something, I vow to lick it and test your theory.” He framed his words as a joke, he knew they were utterly ridiculous. But he was curious in the same way he felt sure Orion was. And where was the harm? It wasn’t as though germs, or toxic metal paint would be able to kill him these days, anyway.  

“I should hope so.” He feigned indignance, letting Rio see in his expression that he wasn’t genuinely offended. He understood it was meant as playful. Laughing too, he couldn’t help himself. It felt so strange to be talking about the non-damage he was now doing to his lungs. “Yeah, it wasn’t the thing that killed me though, was it? So I kind of feel like I win in some totally fucked up way. Look at me now, everyone who ever told me I was destined to OD on some bathroom floor in a stranger’s apartment.” He raised his arms in mock celebration, turning on the spot to acknowledge the non-existent crowd. “Killed by a vampire, nobody saw that one coming.” Lowering his arms again, it was the first time he could ever recall actually mentioning his death, at the very least the specifics of it. Rio didn’t know about the drugs, or the fact he had been attacked while he was barely conscious. He only knew the person who had turned him decided to abandon him, rather than stick around and help. Spinning to face his friend again, he was grateful for the sudden distraction. “Isn’t swimming on a full stomach supposed to be bad for you?” He asked, following Orion as he left the kitchen, forcing a smile back onto his face. “Does this count as a form of self-destruction?”  

Orion scoffed at the man, feigning offense that Milo would even consider that Rio would lie. “Sorry. This is a one way street now. You’ll only get the truth from me, embarrassing or not. Sucks for you, dude.” Rio pretending to frown and shrug away the sentence, “But not literally sucks. Sorry to burst your bubble.” It felt odd, making jokes about vampires. Wrong, almost. Considering he was closer to a slayer than a supernatural creature himself. But Milo knew he came from a good place. The place of someone who wanted to do good. “Unhealthy habits are unhealthy habits.” Rio repeated, nodding in agreement. His life was full of them. 

“I just told you I was going to be honest, and now you want me to lie to you?” Rio grinned. Of course they both knew Milo couldn’t take the whole town. Rio wasn’t convinced Milo could take a single slayer, at least not without some prepping beforehand. The right answer was just to laugh in agreement. Sarcasm wasn’t a lie if the truth was obvious, right? He was just getting ready to thank his friend for not thinking of him as scrawny until Milo kept talking. “Woooooow” Rio held the word out for long as possible for peak dramatic effect. “I was this close to thanking you. Glad I held out for a few seconds.” Rio pinched his pointer finger and thumb together and narrowed his eyes at Milo. He let it go though, instead choosing to think about his description of the taste of blood. It wasn’t something Rio thought he would be particularly interested in learning about. These days though, Rio was interested in learning about pretty much anything the supernatural could teach him. “Good to know. Please test that iron theory for me. I’m curious.” Rio tried to stay as casual as possible, hoping that Milo took it seriously instead of as a joke. 

Even heading towards the pool, Rio had time to pause and shoot a quick look of concern back at Milo. For how close the two had gotten, there was still a surprising amount that Rio didn’t know about the man. This comment about overdosing in a stranger’s apartment. It concerned Rio on a lot of levels. What business of his was it to comment on? So he didn’t. “Depends on who you ask, I guess.” He chose instead. A lot of this town would probably take a guess that a vampire would kill someone. Especially an easy target. Rio pushed the doors to room open, immediately hit with the smell of chlorine and humid air of the pool room. It was surrounded by windows, but all had shades that could be closed if desired. For the sake of Milo not getting boiled alive, he would keep them closed. “I think that’s just for cramps” Rio laughed, finding a spot next to the pool and sitting cross legged in front of it, “What are you going to do? Drown?” Rio laughed in spite of the morbid joke and then laid back fully, his back against the tiling so that he could drop an arm and run his finger along the edge of the water, “It’s all yours. Knock yourself out.” 

“Then I might just have to terminate our friendship.” Milo countered with exaggerated sincerity. “My reputation is already shaky, okay? I don’t need somebody like you telling everybody about the trouble I get myself into.” A sudden laugh escaping him, he could think of more than one way to make the joke less about vampires, and more about something suggestive, and potentially inappropriate, but after his teasing the previous night, and his very recent comment on sugar daddies, it felt like maybe he might be taking things a little too far. “I like being able to joke about it.” He admitted, deciding to be honest instead. “It makes it feel more… normal.” Another laugh escaping him when he realised Orion was pointedly not addressing his offense, he shook his head. “This is unbelievable, you know? You’re supposed to support me, tell me I can do anything… what about my confidence, Rio? What about my self-worth?” His grin only growing when he finally managed to elicit a reaction from his friend, it was made even funnier by the knowledge he had been about to thank him for his words. “Sorry, this is a one way street. It’s the truth only from me now.” He echoed the sentiment, eyes shining with mischief. “You think I won’t lick a railing? I mean it. I’ll lick a railing.” Honestly, he had probably done far worse when he was drunk, or high, or both. But Orion didn’t need to know about that. Hell, even he himself didn’t need to know about that. Some things were definitely best forgotten, lost to the familiar haze of inebriation.  

As they began to approach the pool, the smell of chlorine crept up on him. And by the time Orion threw open the doors the smell was almost eye wateringly strong. He knew from experience that prolonged exposure would lead to him forgetting about it, but that didn’t stop him from instinctively wrinkling his nose. “Yeah, I guess the context is important.” He admitted, entering the room with his friend. He didn’t want to consider how many people in his life knew of the supernatural world and had simply failed to mention it. Jeez, how many people had let him walk oblivious into danger? How many times had he come close to death before finally being chosen as a victim? Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe in a town like White Crest it was always going to happen. “Kind of depressing, huh?” Glancing back at Rio before finally allowing himself to take in the room, it was larger than he had been expecting. It made the thought of living in the building alone seem even more isolating somehow. So much space for just one person. Watching with a gentle smile as his friend moved to sit at the edge of the pool, he held back for a brief moment. “Hilarious.” He muttered, already kicking off his jeans. He had always struggled with his confidence, but somehow that had turned him into somebody who didn’t care. Instead of hiding his body, he was relaxed about who saw it. Instead of shying away from situations that may draw attention to him, he revelled in them. Because why did it matter? If the way he looked was average, at best, and if who he was could barely pass as a good time, then why did anything matter? This wasn’t a stranger, though. This wasn’t somebody he would never meet again, or somebody whose opinion lacked any value. This was Orion.  

Standing in his boxer briefs, he tugged at the long sleeves of his sweater, contemplating the marks that lay hidden beneath them. Not just the track marks, but the marks at the base of his throat too. The ones obscured from view by his collar. They would be made visible, and he wasn’t sure what was worse; Orion seeing the evidence of what he had done to himself, or Orion seeing the evidence of what had been done to him. Either way, not taking the sweater off felt incredibly awkward, it didn’t feel much like he had a choice. “I, uh-” He swallowed his sudden discomfort, unsure how best to raise the subject. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, he forced himself to hold his friend’s gaze, moving to take a seat beside him at the edge of the pool. “I have some scars…” He admitted, his voice barely louder than a whisper. It almost echoed in the tiled room, reminding him he was alone with Orion. They were in a safe space. “I mean, scars people usually judge me for, and I know you wouldn’t- I know you aren’t like that but… you might not expect them, I don’t know.”  

“Wow. Who knew not lying would be the downfall of my friendships?” Orion questioned, a playful tone to his voice despite the very real implications. He had always walked a fine line, trying to befriend the supernatural while not exactly wanting to disclose his own questionable path. It had very nearly ruined his friendship with Ariana, which would have been a loss far greater than Rio could imagine. He was thankful that things hadn’t ended at that for the two. “I only agreed to not lie to you. Not for you.” Rio finally compromised. “Yeah, well nothing about any of this is normal. So I guess I’m glad we are at least able to joke about it.” 

It had only been a few seconds and yet Milo had somehow managed to turn Rio’s own words against him. Never before had he felt so betrayed by a vow to tell the truth. “I deserve better than this.” Rio stated simply, crossing his arms in defiance. “Lick a pole then. Won’t bother me at all.” In fact, it might actually make his day. 

Lying on the tile, Rio quickly glanced away once Milo began removing his pants. Suddenly, everything in the room became suddenly interesting, like counting dust particles in the air or intently listening to the sound of the water filter. It didn’t seem right to stare at Milo like this. After all, they were friends. It felt weird admiring any part of Milo when the two were getting so close. This wasn’t the same as just objectively noting that he was pretty when Rio used to walk into Towers and steal glances towards the counter as he flipped through comics. At the mention of scars, Rio immediately perked up. Pushing up onto his elbows, Rio met Milo’s eyes. He was absolutely sure to keep his eyes exactly there, focused on Milo’s face and nowhere else. “It wouldn’t bother me.” Rio breathed, suddenly aware of just how dry his mouth had become. How had one word changed his mood so drastically? His own arms began itching on instinct, and Rio found himself scratching at them through his hoodie sleeve. He wondered what the scars were from. How much of his skin they covered. He wasn’t hoping to compare. He wanted nothing more than to know that Milo’s scars were nothing like Rio’s. “Seriously. You’re good here. Swim away.” 

“Oh, so it’s about the technicalities?” Milo teased. “Then I might need to get that in writing. My lawyer can look it over for me.” Offering Rio a genuine smile, he knew his friend was right. Nothing about this was normal, which was why joking about it, turning their situations into something trivial, something light-hearted, made it feel so much easier to deal with. “I guess my whole life was kind of a joke anyway. Makes sense my death is also… you know, a joke.” A laugh escaping him when Rio insisted he deserved better, he shook his head. “Maybe having to put up with me is a punishment for something you did in a previous life.” He pointed out, grinning at the way Rio petulantly told him to go lick an iron pole. It was ridiculous that they were even discussing it, but it reminded him of the childhood arguments he used to get into with Dani. There was something so fun about the innocence, about leaning into the absurd nature of it all. “I will!” He insisted. “Just you wait.” He made a mental note so that he wouldn’t forget, although he found he didn’t need to apply his usual level of focus. For the most part, especially after staying the night, he was sober. Whatever he had taken to get him by was still ghosting his system, not affecting him in any way, but keeping him safe from a comedown. And he realised he almost, almost didn’t care. 

Watching with an amused sort of affection as Orion decided to lay back against the tile, he followed his gaze to the ceiling, wondering if there was anything interesting up there to look at. Apparently not. Feeling his shoulders drop as relief washed over him, he hadn’t been aware just how much tension he had been holding in his body while he waited for Rio to react. Of course Rio wouldn’t mind, he knew that. But it still felt strange. These weren’t random marks from falling off of a bike, or getting into some accident when he was a kid. These were intentional, and obvious. They could only ever have come from a single source. Before he could change his mind, or regret his decision, he pulled off his sweater, dropping it to the tile beside him. He wanted to feel comfortable, he wanted to be able to sit, and not care about how much of who he was ended up on display, but it was instinct to hide, if only to protect himself. So before Orion had any real chance to see his arms, he slid into the pool, allowing himself to sink to the very bottom of it. 

He hadn’t considered how strange it would be, settling underwater knowing he didn’t need to come up for breath. His descent felt slow, but he enjoyed it. The lack of sound, the lack of light. No scent to overwhelm him, or remind him of his heightened senses. Lazily pulling his knees to his chest, he glanced up towards the surface, seeing the lights from above, blurred, and inconsistent. Experimentally, he breathed out whatever air was currently trapped inside his lungs, watching as the bubbles escaped his body. There was no tension in his chest, no desperate urge to breathe in, no burning lack of oxygen. It struck him that he could stay where he was, sitting on the tile, surrounded by water, for the entire day and nothing would change. Absolutely nothing. But that wouldn’t be fair on Orion, who he realised was still sitting at the edge of the water. So he kicked off from the tile, needing to use more force than expected without any air in his lungs to keep him buoyant. When he finally broke the surface, he took a deep breath, pushing his hair back out of his eyes as he moved to hold onto the side of the pool. His arms tucked against his chest, safely below the water, he was very aware of the fact that he could do nothing to hide the scars on his neck. “Hey, are you not coming in?” He asked, gently prompting his friend to join him. “This was your idea.” 

“Yeah I’ll make sure to jot that down” Orion rolled his eyes towards Milo, “The least thing I need is to be legally bound to you. Who knows what trouble that would cause?” Though Rio didn’t love hearing Milo call his own life a joke, Rio couldn’t say much to refute it. He had referred to his own life as a joke multiple times himself, or some variance of the word. “Can’t really speak for my past lives, but I think you’re right.” His life before last year felt completely different than the twenty leading up to it, and Rio had plenty to make up for. Even if he had never taken a life, he had been too afraid to do anything about the ones who were. His family, the hunters they knew and the ones they didn’t had all been getting away with murder for Rio’s entire life while he just cowered in a corner and let them get away with it. It made him guilty by association. So maybe this was some sort of divine punishment, cursed to care so deeply about the very thing he was raised to hate. “Can’t wait” Rio spoke casually now, as if whether or not Milo licked a pole didn’t matter to him at all. He’d only feel slightly bad if Milo actually did it. 

Milo had his top off and was in the water before Rio ever saw any scars. It didn’t Rio, he wasn’t looking for them. In fact, the best choice right now would be to avoid looking at Milo at all. At least not for too long. He didn’t want his eyes lingering, not when Milo might think he was staring because of the scars. Milo stayed underwater for a long time, and Rio found himself glancing towards the blurred blob floating along the bottom of the pool in between the phone he was using to distract himself. But eventually, Milo came back up to the surface. And asked the exact question Rio was hoping to avoid. “I don’t really swim.” Rio shrugged from his position on the ground, still staring at his phone. “I just suggested that you swim. I never said anything about me.” Rio had never hated swimming, though he rarely had the chance to do it anymore. “Nobody wants to see under here. I’m super pale and…” He paused, just barely glancing over at Milo before darting back to his phone, “... and you’re not the only one with scars.” 

“I think I’d quite like our friendship to be legally binding.” Milo pretended to contemplate the idea. “But you know I wasn’t being serious…” It worried him that Orion was so ready to believe he deserved to be punished. “Right?” Of course he wasn’t being serious, referring to his company as some kind of curse, but he knew that wasn’t the part Rio had decided to focus on. Grinning at the deadpan response to his determination, he was more than willing to let the conversation move forward. If Rio didn’t want to talk about something then he would make that clear, and he would be incredibly selfish if he didn’t respect those boundaries. Especially when he was always offered the same courtesy by his friend. “I’ll be sure to take a selfie as proof.”  

Allowing the water to keep him afloat, using the tips of his fingers to grip the ledge of the pool, he looked up at Orion, unable to hide his curiosity. If he didn’t swim then why would he suggest the pool? The last thing he wanted was for him to feel left out, or as though he couldn’t be a part of the fun he was having. “I mean… this is true.” He admitted, thinking back over their morning together. Rio hadn’t specifically said anything about swimming himself. But that careful choice of words only made him more suspicious that there might be something more going on, something being left unsaid. “And I’m not?” He asked pointedly, raising his eyebrows at the mention of pale skin. “Besides, isn’t that like… insensitive to say in front of a vampire?” He was hoping to draw a laugh from his company, but Rio’s following comment had the smile fading from his face. “Oh…”  

So they both had scars. What kind of scars did Orion have? Surely not the same scars he carried himself? The admission could mean so many different things, all depending on the context, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure him, though he needed him to know he wouldn’t mind. In the same way Orion never made him feel judged, or scrutinised, or anything other than a person, he wanted to offer the same sense of security. “Like… Hunter scars?” He asked, noticing the way his friend was purposefully avoiding eye contact. “It’s okay…” His voice was quiet, and soft, as he attempted to comfort him. “We don’t need to talk about it… but you shouldn’t miss out on this, not because of something outside of your control, you know? It’s only me here.”  

Orion had gotten lost in his own train of thought that he didn’t consider Milo might take the statement seriously. “What? No, of course. I’m just distracted.” He waved the comment aside, quickly moving forward to dig himself out of the mental grave he had surrounded himself in. There was a time and place to worry about his past, right now didn’t seem like the best time. “Can’t wait for that picture to come through” Rio snickered, picturing the event in his head, trying to imagine the looks on people’s faces if they witnessed him do it.  

Orion couldn’t remember the last time he had swam around other people. The closest he had come was helping Skye into the ocean shortly before she left town. That hadn’t exactly been a normal situation, and Rio never once considered taking his jeans or hoodie off before helping lead her into the water. “I know. Because I don’t usually swim.” Rio nodded, knowing that he had said exactly what he had meant. He had invited a couple people over to swim in the pool, but never planned on swimming in it with him. Milo’s usual jokes fizzled out quickly and Rio felt bad almost immediately for ruining the mood. He had a bad habit of that. Still, despite how sure he had been, he found himself sitting up off the ground and actually considering the idea. 

“Um. Something like that.” What actual hunters considered hunter scars and what Rio would consider hunter scars would differ greatly. Rio’s definition was a bit more literal. They were reminders of the lineage Rio refused to align to. The footprints he wouldn’t follow. Rio hesitated for a moment longer before remembering that this was Milo. A friend that he could trust. “Just… you don’t have to apologize. Or say anything.” Rio warned last time before he pulled the hoodie over his head. Though the majority of his scars were hidden beneath his tshirt, his arms left little to the imagination. There were a few inches above the wrist before it started, but it rarely stopped after that. Bruised skin that had never quite returned to the right color because of intense trainings that Rio wouldn’t participate in. Long scars from old cuts and broken skin. Old burn marks leaving darkened shades of red and purple along that snaked up and under the sleeves of his shirt. Almost immediately, Rio found himself rubbing at the exposed space, unaccustomed to it being visible to others. Rio pulled his socks off and considered going further, but fell short. He was left in a tshirt and his track pants he had fallen asleep in the night before. The only people to have seen him completely shirtless since childhood were Winston and Ricky, and even that hadn’t been by choice. He trusted Milo, he just didn’t trust himself. “This is as good as it gets. So uh, guess I’ll get in.” The shirt and pants would dry eventually. He lowered himself onto ground and dunked his legs in first, immediately feeling off because of the track pants separating him from the water. But he kept lowering himself in, his now submerged clothes clinging against his skin. “This is awkward I know. Sorry.” 

The moment Rio insisted he was distracted, Milo realised he had been right. There was something more to this. Whether his friend was willing to elaborate, he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t mind being patient, not if that helped him to feel safe. A brief smile tugging at his lips, he was glad there was still space for humour, but as the conversation turned back to a less comfortable subject matter, a topic neither of them had ever really discussed, he fell silent, serious again as he listened. He was curious to know whether Orion didn’t swim because he chose not to, because he didn’t enjoy it. Or because he wanted to hide his body, to avoid the scars that were apparently marking his skin. His heart sank just a little at the confirmation of them being Hunter related. He didn’t know enough about being a Hunter to be able to guess where they might have originated from. But he did know how Orion felt about Hunting, and that was enough for him to understand they were tied to bad memories. His own scars, the track marks, they were self inflicted. As far as he was concerned they were remnants of a good time, a price he was more than willing to pay for a killer high, a brief stint of euphoria. But not everybody saw them that way, which was why he so often made an effort to hide them. The scar on his neck, however, the way he felt about that scar was far closer to what he imagined Orion must feel.  

Part of him wanted to assure Rio that he wasn’t going to apologise, he wasn’t that person. But he also didn’t want to sound false, or draw attention if it wasn’t necessary. So he watched as he carefully removed his hoodie, unsure whether he should look away. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but definitely nothing quite as dramatic as what lay beneath his friend’s shirt. He wasn’t disgusted, or even horrified. He was morbidly fascinated. He didn’t know what he had survived, but it was incredibly clear to him that Rio was far stronger than anybody gave him credit for. “I…” He trailed off, remembering his decision to stay quiet. Instead of finishing his sentence, he pulled himself slightly to the left, allowing Rio to sink into the water, almost fully clothed. Catching his eye, he offered him a gentle smile, unable to put into words how much it meant that he was being trusted like this. Surely that gesture was more important than anything he had to say. “It’s not awkward....” He murmured. “I mean, only if we make it awkward, right?”  

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerve, even now he couldn’t understand why that worked when he didn’t need oxygen, he began to pull himself out of the pool, choosing to sit where Rio had been only moments before. “Wait,” he said, encouraging Rio to look at him before he could move too far from the edge. “I mean… it’s only fair.” Pushing his wet hair back away from his face, he carefully held his arms out in front of himself, displaying the track marks that looked dark, and angry in the blue light of the pool room. It felt strange, asking somebody to look at them after so long of keeping them hidden, especially after working to make sure Rio didn’t get a chance to see them. But he knew he was doing the right thing. It made sense, and if it would help his friend to feel more secure, then it would be worth the sacrifice, the vulnerability on his part. “I thought maybe with the whole vampire thing, they might just disappear, you know? But your old scars… they stay. And so does the one from...” He swallowed, a frown creasing his brow. It shouldn’t be this difficult to talk about, but it was. It made his chest feel tight with anxiety as the hazy memories of his death began to resurface. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he pressed his fingertips against the marks at the base of his throat. He knew from countless hours of staring at his phone screen that the scars were pale, and white. Barely visible if you didn’t know they were there. And he also knew, had discovered with a sickening jolt, that you could make out the individual teeth. See where his attacker had quite literally torn into his throat. “The others I did to myself, I just don’t like the way they make people see me. I’m not a junkie, Rio, I swear.” He insisted, needing his friend to believe him. “I just- I like drugs. People make that into something it’s not. But these…” He lowered his hand so that Rio would be able to see the bite, see the evidence of his death, the thing that had essentially made him what he was. “It makes me feel… violated.”   

The water felt different with all these clothes on. Even when alone, Orion usually swam with a shirt on, but swimsuits were light and thin, made for swimming. As soon as water soaked into these pants they got heavy and tried to weigh him down. Luckily for him, he wasn’t nearly as terrible of a swimmer as the Doctor seemed to think he was. He was half tempted to send her something as proof, if he took selfies fully clothed in a pool. He barely took selfies in regular situations. Still, Rio smiled back at Milo, kicking off and floating across the water, putting in the extra work to keep his legs from sinking. “Are you kidding? This is me we’re talking about. Making things awkward is kind of my specialty.” That wasn’t even a self dig, it was just a fact. He had a habit of nervously rambling and mixing up his words, or saying something too quickly. For someone who constantly second guessed and questioned every single thought in his head, his filter seemed to be pretty lackluster. “You may want to be nice, but you know I’m right. Just think about me trying to talk to you at the comic book shop at first.” 

The two were barely in the pool for long before Milo was already climbing out of it. Rio paused, legs fully sinking and putting him back in a standing position as he watched Milo adjust on the side of the pool. When he realized what the man was doing, Rio pushed through the water to get closer. He was playing fair game. Despite the implications of both, Rio enjoyed this game of i’ll show you mine if you show me yours. At least, until he saw the scars along his friend’s arm. They looked familiar, and Rio felt his stomach shifting as his random comments and signs fell into place. Still, Rio looked at them, only looking away when he was looking up to meet Milo’s eyes. “Unfortunately, no. Super healing doesn’t protect against everything.” If it had, Rio might be a little less inclined to swim with pants and a shirt on. He hated the way that Milo talked about what other people thought. “I don’t see you any differently.” Rio began, following up with “And I don’t think you’re a junkie.” He bit his lip. He wished he could end it there, but just like they had agreed earlier, Rio wanted to be honest. The truth was, this was concerning. “But it is dangerous. I’ve seen just how dangerous it can get.” It may not have been the only reason Rio was down a roommate, but it had been the final straw. “I just want you to be safe.” That’s all there was to it. Past those, Milo moved to his neck. Rio could see it immediately, the two imprints. A horrible reminder of what had been the end of Milo’s life as he had known it. Instinctively, Rio’s hand raised out of the water and towards Milo’s neck, but he cut himself off halfway up and curled his fingers, “Sorry.” Rio shook his head, unsure of what had possessed him to reach for it in the first place. “I wasn’t- I didn’t know the bite mark stayed. After you turned. I’m sorry.”  

Humming quietly in amusement, Milo thought back on the first few times Rio had ever spoken to him. He didn’t remember the conversation being awkward, but then that was never something he paid a whole lot of attention to. If he liked the person, if he enjoyed their company, it didn’t matter if they were stumbling over their words. “I’m not going to argue with you.” He insisted, offering his friend a grin. “But only because I literally don’t remember you being awkward, I mean- I remember thinking you were pretty cool. Obviously my dork radar wasn’t working back then.” It wasn’t lost on him that his arms were still very much on show, but he reminded himself the worst was over. He didn’t have anything to lose or to gain by trying to hide them at this point, so he should relax. He should make the effort to try and fall back into their usual banter. His smile fading as Orion caught his eye, making a comment on how healing abilities didn’t always protect from new scars, it was clear he was also bitter about that fact. “No shit.” He muttered, absentmindedly rubbing at the crook of his left arm. “That would have made it worth something, at least…” 

Falling silent when Rio insisted he didn’t see him differently for the marks, when he told him he didn’t think he was a junkie despite the evidence in front of him very strongly implying otherwise, it was everything he could do to stop tears from blurring his vision. He wasn’t sure anybody had just listened like that before. Nobody had ever taken his word for it. But before he could enjoy the feeling of being trusted, before he could get comfortable, Rio was dragging them both into painfully familiar territory. He set his jaw, defiantly holding his gaze at the mention of danger. “I’m fine.” He snapped, a sudden edge to his voice. “I can take care of myself, Rio. Apparently it’s not the drugs you need to look out for, it’s the vampires who want to get you high so they can drain you of your blood, and leave you for fucking dead.” Feeling guilty the moment he reached the end of his outburst, he closed his eyes, allowing a few beats of silence to pass before speaking again. Rio didn’t deserve his anger, he was the last person he should be taking things out on. The spark of irritation remained, burning quietly in his chest, but he forced it down, doing everything he could to dampen its strength. This wasn’t about Rio. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled, opening his eyes again, opting to glare down at his hands instead of face how unfair he had been. “I’m just tired of being told I’m putting myself in danger, especially now. Like, why should I care anymore, you know?”  

He chanced a glance upwards, hoping to prove to himself that he hadn’t upset Orion, and realised his friend was reaching towards the scar left behind by his killer. He flinched, unable to help himself. Considering he could barely recall the details of his attack, it managed to stay with him. That feeling of helplessness, of pushing back against a stranger as his life was quite literally drained from his body. Laughing quietly at himself, he shook his head, offering Orion a weak smile as he withdrew again, apologising for being so forward. “You don’t need to apologise.” He insisted, his voice quiet, and unsure. “It’s okay, I just… wasn’t expecting it. I mean, it feels like any other scar, I guess. It’s nothing special.” Chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip, he thought back on everything he knew. Everything he had been told thus far. “Not always… I don’t think. I’m lucky like that.” Carefully lowering himself back into the water, he took Orion’s hand in his own, raising it so that he could press his friend's fingers to the base of his throat. If his heart wasn’t cold, and still, it would be pounding in his chest for so many reasons. Orion was the first person he was letting near his neck since he had woken up as a vampire, the first person he was trusting unconditionally, with every fibre of his being. “See?” He swallowed, trying to play off the action as casual, doing everything to hide how incredibly exposed he felt behind a nervous, and hesitant smile. “It’s just… It’s nothing, really.”  

It didn’t seem possible for someone to not notice how awkward Orion was on first impression. He didn���t grow up with the social cues or ease that his mother and sister had. But he did have the thoughtful or stoic nature of his father either. He had always had a sort of quiet indignation about him that made conversations short and concise, but not awkward. Rio had landed somewhere in the middle, too talkative to be stoic, too awkward to be charismatic. He had always been the type to stumble through a simple sentence and make up for it by accidentally over talking himself into embarrassment. “You didn’t notice I was awkward and you thought I was cool? There was definitely something wrong with you.” There was no way that Rio wasn’t awkward the first time he finally mustered the courage to have a conversation with Milo in the comic shop. The only explanation was that he had been too distracted to notice the social blunder that Rio was. “Yeah. Exhibit A.” Rio raised his arm as an example, “I’ve had hunter healing since I was a kid. It doesn’t fix everything.” He wasn’t sure if it made him feel more or less human. He wasn’t indestructible, but now he had countless reminders. 

Rio recoiled at Milo’s sudden tone shift. He jerked backward, not by much but just enough to be noticeable. He didn’t mean to do it, but it reminded him too much of his own mother’s affinity to switch from perfect suburban soccer mom persona she put on in public to the cruel, ruthless hunter that he knew. It wasn’t fair to compare Milo to her, Rio knew that. He recovered from the jerk reaction quickly, settling instead on a deep look of concern. “It’s really not my business. But being dead isn’t indestructible. There are drugs that-” Rio paused. How much did Milo know about the supernatural world? And how much more danger could he be in if he found out about those? “That worry me. I can’t help being worried.” 

“No. Seriously, I wasn’t thinking when I reached for it. I shouldn’t have done that.” The little space Rio had put between the two when he had flinched away was lost when Milo jumped back into the water. Rio felt his hand being grabbed before he looked down to see it being raised up to Milo’s neck. His neck was colder than expected, though Rio should have realized it before. Just another reminder that he had never met a vampire before him. He definitely hadn’t been this close to one. He hadn’t been this close to anyone besides Winston. It heart was exploding in his chest, and he was sure Milo could feel that through his fingertips, if he couldn’t already hear it. The tip of Rio’s fingers ran across the scar, barely a bump to show for it. Just the feint reminder of what was probably the worst night of his life. “It is though.” He stated simply, slowly pulling his hand away as he realized he had still been touching it. “If it’s something to you, it’s not nothing. No matter how small the scar, it can mean something big.”  

“Look, I’m not saying you weren’t awkward.” Milo clarified. “I’m just saying I was more focused on enjoying the conversation, you know?” There were definitely times it became more noticeable than others, he could still remember the first interaction following his colleagues making him aware of Orion’s crush. He had noticed it then, been endeared by it even. But it never jumped out at him, he had never seen Rio as somebody lacking in social skills. “Oh, for sure there was something wrong with me.” He teased. “Probably still is…” Bringing himself back down to Earth, pulling himself out of his memories, he allowed his attention to be drawn to Orion’s scars. It was the first time he was actively being asked to look at them, he could only hope that meant his own admission was making his friend feel more comfortable. “Do you think if I hurt myself now, it would leave a scar?” He asked curiously. He hadn’t actually tried, and intravenous drugs felt like a waste of money when he didn’t have a heartbeat to actually carry them.  

Noticing Rio’s sudden response to his shift in tone, he remained silent, not wanting to startle him again, but also not wanting to acknowledge his own defensive behaviour. For a brief moment he wondered whether the reaction was in any way related to the injuries he had sustained. He sincerely hoped not, despite the sinking feeling in his chest forcing him to admit that was incredibly likely to be the case. Pleased to hear Orion say it wasn’t his business to comment on, he opened his mouth to agree but promptly closed it again, narrowing his eyes as he processed what he was hearing. It sounded as though Rio had decided not to say what he truly wanted to, as though he might be backtracking, or intentionally withholding information. “Drugs that what?” He asked, his voice slow, and deliberate. He made it clear he didn’t believe the end of the sentence was the one he had been supplied with. “What were you going to say?”  

Still suspicious, but also worried about Orion, he begrudgingly allowed the conversation to move forward, aware of the hand still gently being held against his neck. “It’s okay to be curious, Rio…” He assured his friend. “Really, I don’t mind… this is as weird for me as it is for you.” Lingering tension aside, he would much rather talk about this with somebody he knew he could trust. They both had questions, and asking them together, finding answers for them together, was far more appealing than going through this alone. He could hear Orion’s heart, beating hard and fast inside his chest, and wondered whether he felt the same way. Was he nervous? Maybe scared of him? Or was it the intimacy of the moment that was causing his BPM to steadily rise? It is though. He glanced up at the ceiling, before staring pointedly at the wall behind Orion’s head. It was so much easier to be honest when he was avoiding eye contact. At least then he didn’t feel like he was putting himself on display, laying out his mistakes, and misdemeanours, ready to be judged for them. “I don’t know.” He murmured quietly, a frown creasing his brow. “Sometimes I want to forget it, just pretend it isn’t there… sometimes I feel like it’s important. But someone did this to me. They offered me a hit, took me to a room… and when I was high, when I couldn’t fight back, they killed me.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper, cracking with emotion as he struggled to hide his genuine fear. It almost felt as though the more he talked about this person, the greater the chance was of them walking suddenly into the room. He wanted to find them, he needed to find them. But he was also terrified by what they were capable of.  

Then again, wasn’t he capable of the very same? His first kill, his only kill, hadn’t been premeditated. It had horrified him, had made him feel entirely out of control. But he had been responsible. He had taken somebody’s life, torn out somebody’s throat. The thought made his stomach churn uncomfortably. Taking an unsteady breath, he blinked tears out of his eyes, shaking his head as though he could force himself to stay grounded. The only way he had been able to move past the guilt, and the shame, was by repressing the memory. By pretending it had all been some terrible dream. “Sorry,” he laughed at himself, bitterness lacing his tone as he hurried to brush away his tears. “I haven’t ever talked about it… not properly.” He wasn’t sure he wanted to continue, but he was in too deep now. He could finish the story, or he could tell it another time, and make himself suffer twice. “I woke up maybe thirty hours later, just... in some building, I don’t even know where. The person helping me… they said you’re not supposed to do that- turn someone, and leave them. But sometimes people do it for fun.” Finally removing Orion’s hand, he caught his eye, allowing him to see how badly affected he was by what had happened to him. “Someone did this to me, Rio. They left these scars on my neck, and I might never know why… their teeth are just- just permanently branded into my skin, and I have to live with that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with that.”  

There was an embarrassing amount of pride hearing that Milo enjoyed their conversations, even back then. Orion had enjoyed them too, though it had always been so trivial and happenstance that he never figured much of what they talked about stayed in Milo’s head once Rio left the store. It had been just a short time of reprieve from the reality of the world. “Well, thanks.” He didn’t know how else to reply. There didn’t seem like an appropriate reply. Milo had spoken very matter-of-factly. There was no way for Rio to refute it even if he wanted to. “There seems to be a little bit wrong with everybody, in my experience” Rio whispered, as if this was some well guarded secret. “If your healing is anything like mine, it depends on how bad the wound is. If it’s deep enough or lasts long enough it’ll scar regardless. I’ve had plenty of more surface injuries that completely disappeared. More than have stayed probably. I don’t think it helps if you keep getting injured in the same area.” Rio certainly wasn’t an expert on it. He remembered his dad talking about it once. Being a doctor and a hunter made him what Rio would consider the expert on hunter physiology. 

Rubbing at his temples, Rio wished he hadn’t said anything at all. This had been the only hiccup in what had otherwise been the closest to a perfect day Rio had had in a long time. “I’ve heard about other drugs. Supernatural ones that are very very dangerous.” That stomach sinking feeling was making Rio slightly nauseous, probably a combination of the smell of chlorine and the conversation he really did not want to be having. “My friend got really messed up on one. It wasn’t good.” Rio rubbed the tip of his finger against the small scar on his palm as a reminder. “I can’t have someone I care about go through that again.” 

Listening intently, the feeling of dread and empathy built as Milo explained the experience. Not wanting to interrupt, he instead nodded periodically as a sign that he was still following along. He found himself looking at Milo’s face now, only to find that it was the vampire’s turn to be avoiding eye contact. Funny how that worked out. “That’s horrible” Rio finally spoke quietly, still processing everything he had just heard. Rio thought about how cruel it was to take a life so quickly and casually. To take a life at all was bad enough. It must have been so confusing to wake up afterward, his entire world completely changed when he couldn’t even remember having died in the first place. “Thank you for telling me.” He added on, genuinely happy that he was the first person that Milo had told. “It’s not fair,” Rio agreed, “Your life was taken from you and that’s not fair. But you will live on. Metaphorically at least.” Rio laughed nervously this time, hoping that he sounded sincere in spite of the poor joke, “You’re strong and you don’t want to do the things that Dani accused you of. You’re a good person. And that’s why you’ll get through this.” 

“Hm, I guess that’s probably true.” Milo smiled, amused by Rio’s observation. Ignoring the discomfort that seemed to settle in his chest, the concern over the fact that his friend had so much information on the healing process, he pushed aside the question of how. If Rio wanted to tell him, then he would. And it may take some time to earn that level of trust. He needed to be content, to listen to what he was being told rather than wonder about what was carefully being hidden. “I think my parents would be fascinated by that…” He admitted, a frown creasing his brow as he thought about his mom and dad. “They’re doctors, you know? They live for this kind of medical shit.” Watching as Orion began to rub at his temples, it didn’t take a genius to realise he regretted raising the subject. But there could only be one possible reason for that. If he believed him when he said he wasn’t an addict, then why should he care? What could he possibly have to be so hesitant about? Feeling a surge of annoyance, he forced himself to remain calm. He didn’t want to snap again after his friend’s previous reaction to his attitude, but he had so much he needed to say, so much he needed to make Rio understand.  

“You think I’m so out of control that the second you tell me about a new type of drug I’m just going to go out and- I don’t know, fucking take my body weight or something?” He asked, fighting to soften the edge to his voice. If he got too angry then Orion might not let slip where he could find these drugs, or explain to him what their purpose was. There were supernatural drugs out there, substances he had yet to try, highs he had yet to experience. He could already feel a spark of excitement igniting within his chest. Why had nobody told him this before? “So... they’re recreational?” He attempted to frame his question as casual, as innocently curious, although he had a feeling that wasn’t going to fly. Would Orion have answered him if he hadn’t seen the track marks on his arms? He had no way of knowing, but the voice in the back of his mind, the one responsible for his doubt, and anxiety, was telling him yes. Telling him Orion wouldn’t feel the need to censor himself, or warn him of the danger, if he didn’t think he might have a drug problem. So much for not seeing him any differently. “I know what I’m doing, okay?” He attempted to assure him, leaving no room for him to argue. “It’s always under control.” Making a mental note to find out more when he was able to, it felt smart to drop the subject, if only to avoid arousing any suspicion. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to interfere if he found out he was trying to pick up.  

Not expecting Orion to sound so genuinely grateful for his honesty, he faltered in his frustration. Horrible felt like an understatement, but to even have his suffering acknowledged meant more than he could possibly know. Dani wouldn’t listen, Dani had no empathy for him, no will to understand what dying might have been like. And here was somebody telling him his trauma was valid, that it was okay to hurt, or to still feel confused by it. “Metaphorically.” He echoed, his smile growing as he finally caught his friend’s eye. Holding his gaze, he realised how right it felt, as though things were finally falling into place. They had crossed another impossible hurdle, become closer than they had been only minutes before. “I don’t know if I’m a good person.” He admitted. “But I don’t want to do those things, Rio. I don’t want to hurt people…” Taking a breath in an attempt to steady himself, he brushed away his tears, grateful that his dripping hair helped to disguise the tear tracks marking his cheeks. “Come on,” he gestured towards the centre of the pool, shrugging off the weight of the conversation. “Enough of the depressing stuff. Hey, I bet I can hold my breath for longer than you.”  

Orion vaguely remembered Milo telling him about his family while the two talked online. It had been a brief moment of recognition before he shoved the thought out of his head completely. He had been so excited to be talking with Milo again that he hadn’t let any pervasive thoughts about his family ruin the mood while he laid across his bed and texted back. “Oh yeah. My dad was too. They probably knew each other.” Rio suggested before adding in, “I mean, before he died.” It made it as casual as possible, dropping the knowledge in before trying to move on completely. 

“What?” was all Rio could ask at first, trying to figure out how the conversation had gone from bad to worse. “No.” He shook his head, ignoring the intruding thoughts warning him that he was ruining this. The good moments the two had managed to have were basically draining down the pool filter. “I didn’t say that. You know I don’t mean that.” Unless Milo did think that he meant that. That his words had somehow been warped and misshapen as some sort of accusation. It didn’t seem to matter that Rio’s concern came from a place of genuine concern. Realistic fear, even. “No. They’re not. She almost died. On more occasions than one. And I didn’t even know about it until she tried to impale me.” Not that he blamed her for it at all, but he certainly remembered how awful Skye had felt the next day. Milo’s insistence that everything was fine was only more concerning, but talking about it now was only going to make things worse. 

At least Milo seemed just as eager to change the subject. Perhaps it was for the best that the two stopped getting so deep for a minute. Neither of them seemed to have especially optimistic pasts. There wasn’t much space for them to dig without hitting something dark and depressing. “I don’t want you to hurt people either. So let’s prove her wrong.” He insisted, using it as the last words before Milo suggested a severely rigged game to break the tension. “Wow. Doesn’t exactly sound very fair.” Rio laughed, pushed away and swung his arms to pull himself away from Milo and create some space between the two. “Can’t imagine who’ll win this one” 

“Oh, shit, no way.” Milo wasn’t sure why it was such a surprising revelation. His parents had been close with Dani’s, after all. They probably still were, although they had no idea the Edwards had made it a family mission to rid the world of vampires. White Crest was a small town, everybody knew everybody. If Orion’s dad was a doctor then it only made sense he had crossed paths with Allison and Oliver Summers. Once or twice at the very least. “I guess that’s probably true… weird, huh?” He chose not to react to Orion mentioning his father’s death. He hadn’t been expecting it, exactly. But he didn’t talk about his parents, and it was something that hadn’t escaped his notice during the time they had known each other. He could only hope his passing hadn’t been complicated, or traumatic. But in the same way he secretly knew Rio’s scars had a terrible story, he suspected there might be far more to this than he was being told. It was very obvious Rio wanted to move on from the subject though, so he shelved the information for a possible later date.  

Listening to his friend as he began to insist his words were being taken in the wrong way, he wanted so badly to be angry. He was angry, but he was also determined not to let his attitude ruin this day. He had pushed so many people away by getting defensive, even an idiot could see the patterns in his behaviour, but Orion was the one person he wanted by his side. Swallowing his frustration, his longing to point out how ridiculous it was to tell him he was trustworthy and then lecture him on the danger of drugs, iiIt was something his parents would do, one of the many reasons he found them insufferable to live with. But Orion was different, just the fact that he was attempting to backtrack told him that much. It was definitely an issue, but an issue for another time. And he knew the faster he dropped the subject, the less likely Orion would be to try and hide new information from him, or watch him closely for any reckless decision making. “Sounds like she was tweaking to me.” He muttered, brushing off the mention of violence. It wouldn’t be the first time an addict lost their cool, but that didn’t mean their drug of choice couldn’t be considered recreational.  

Offering Rio a smile as he struggled to put the conversation behind him, he was grateful he apparently wasn’t the only one trying to do so. It had been a surprisingly deep discussion, and neither of them had been prepared for it. He was incredibly grateful for the understanding, for the support, for the fact that Orion had been so willing to listen. But he also wanted nothing more than to slip back into their light-hearted banter. “Yeah, let’s prove her wrong.” He agreed, his smile growing when his friend reacted to his suggestion. It was too easy to laugh, to let go of the awkwardness, and the tension that had come from allowing themselves to be so vulnerable. “Winner gets to pick the next movie.” He said, throwing himself into the water before Rio could respond. He couldn’t remember feeling this close to anybody other than Dani. And it felt good. It felt so good to have someone. As the water closed in around him, pressing in on him from all sides, he realised the warmth spreading outwards from his chest had nothing to do with the pool heaters, and everything to do with Orion Quinn. 

[peter-parcoeur]

“When you’re gone” - part 3

Post Thanos snap, Peter has to live in a world where Tony Stark is gone. But what happens when Tony’s daughter enters his life...?

Summary + Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Going back to school felt weird.

Though Peter always seemed to struggle to find a balance between his ordinary teenager life and being an Avenger, this time, the wake-up call was hitting harder. His body was definitely walking across the High-School Hall, but his head was somewhere else.

All around him were familiar faces, some looked obviously different after what they all called “the blip” but most of his school seemed back to normal, which was harder to digest as he felt like nothing would ever be the same now that his mentor was gone.

How could he live in a world without Tony Stark?

Luckily, his best-friend was there to show some support and bring random chit-chats back into his routine. Even MJ had given him a hug as she seemed genuinely happy to see him back, but when it should have been the most amazing, unexpected moment of his day, Peter had felt nothing but comfort from catching up with a friend. No tingles at the pit of his stomach, no burning red cheeks, not the usual stiffness down his abdomen. Nothing.

It was like a part of him had died too.

They were all sat in history class when Ned tapped him on the shoulder from behind, his voice filled with some unusual excitement.

“Wow mate, check out the new girl!”

Peter had to roll his eyes and smile at his friend’s typical enthusiasm over the opposite gender. Every time a remotely ‘hot’ girl walked by, Ned turned into a little kid on Christmas Day with a massive sugar rush.

His smile faded as soon as he locked eyes with the girl sitting at the back of the class.

“God” Ned moaned “I would gladly let her step on my face, who’s she?”

“That’s Y/N Stark.” Peter stated as she looked away as soon as their eyes met.

“What do you mean--- Stark? As in...?

-         As in Tony’s only daughter.”

Ned was left gobsmacked at this new revelation, quite oblivious to his friend’s sudden change of attitude. Peter looked like he had seen a ghost, writhing on his seat with complete nervousness. He could tell her anger was still running through her blood from the way she avoided his look, but for some obscure reason, he also felt relieved. Now that they had to spend an entire year in the same room, maybe they would get to talk at some point.

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When the bell rang, Peter wisely waited for Y/N to exit the room before he made any move. It had been the longest hour of his entire school experience and he had been sat in chemistry before, listening to Mr. Wyatt spreading bullshits about things Peter himself could teach better.

“You should talk to her” Ned said after being quiet for longer than anyone would expect him.

“I’m not sure she wants me to…

-         When was the last time you spoke?

-         Her dad’s funeral?

-         Yeahhhh…. Ned winced, maybe not the perfect time to have a chat?

-         I know, but she seemed so upset

-         Dude, her father died, you think she’s gonna give you a lapdance?”

Peter rolled his eyes at Ned’s obvious answer. He couldn’t quite process how he felt about Y/N. Part of him wanted to avoid her at all costs to save himself the embarrassment, but mostly, he wanted to walk down the hallway as confident as possible and just… talk to her. There was this weird attraction between them that made it seems like, somehow, this reunion was meant to be.

“Alright, I’m gonna talk to her” Peter sighed as he caught a glimpse of Y/N grabbing a few books from her locker across the hallway.

His palms were sweaty as he tried his best to brush them to the sides of his pants, air caught in his throat like he was about to give an inspiring speech to a bored audience. Nobody had ever made him feel this way, not even his high-school crush, MJ.

“Hi, Y/N!”

Y/N turned around to see Peter standing there awkwardly, both his hands buried in his pockets.

For a second, it seems like she was about to speak, her eyes daunting him from head to toes. As he stood closer to her face, Peter realized just how much she looked like Tony. She had his eyes, his cocky expression but her slim nose and perky lips were definitely Pepper’s. Her long brown hair was tamed on a sid braid and her ankle boots made her seem taller than him, which was embarrassing enough if she had chosen not to talk to him.

But with the snap of her locker door, she simply turned her back and walked away, leaving him speechless and embarrassed once again.

“Well done, Don Juan!” MJ teased as she walked past him.

On the other side of the corridor, Peter saw Ned biting his lip so he wouldn’t laugh at his misery.

Things were going to be tougher than he had thought.

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Economics was the worst.

Peter and Ned usually discussed any other topic that didn’t involve money and budget throughout the whole course, but today, Peter was just lost in his own daydream, looking out the window with his chin buried into his palm. It was a nice autumnal day, the kind that brought him back to better times where he and his Aunt would start decorating their apartment with Halloween/spooky stuff, their favorite time of the year. It was hard to think that life would go on after the blip but Peter was willing to be an optimistic. Happier days would come.

“Alright, today’s class will be sorely about your final assignment… I want you to pay close attention because this will be half of your grade for the exam.” Mr. Andersen spoke louder so the distracted students could hear.

At least half of the class moaned in complete despair. Mr. Andersen’s assignments were known as chaotic and frankly awful. This one was no exception.

“You will be working as a pair”

Ned smiled brightly at Peter, knowing they would definitely team-up, as usual.

At least it would make it less horrible to be working as a team.

“But don’t get too excited” Mr. Andersen added abruptly as he watched his students stare at each other, building up the usual team partners. “I have written half of the class’s names on papers. These papers I have folded and put in this box so the rest of you can draw”.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Ned burped out.

“Mr. Leeds, since you seem so pleased, we’ll start with you!”

Mr. Andersen walked closer to Ned and offered him a chance to pick a name inside the tiny white box he was holding. Ned reluctantly picked a piece of paper and pulled a worried face.

“Betty Brant…”

Sitting at the front of the class, Betty Brant looked over her shoulder and gave him an unenthusiastic thumbs up. At least, she was smart, but her good looks would definitely make it hard for Ned to focus on their homework. Shivers ran down his spine at the thought of having a girl in his bedroom, his temple, the architectural equivalent of a Jedi farting the Game of Thrones theme song, aka the shameful natural habitat of the biggest geek.

Things went on as everyone picked a team partner with more or less enthusiasm and soon enough, it was Y/N’s time to draw a name into the box.

She quite obviously hesitated before she composed herself and spoke.

“Mr. Andersen, is there any way I can switch partner?”

“Well, Ms. Stark, what would be the point if anyone just decided who they’d like to collaborate with? I’m sorry you didn’t pick your crush’s name but I’m afraid things are what it is. Now, would you be kind enough to share your designated partner?”

There was a silence before she spoke again, her hand fiddling with the piece of paper.

“Peter Parker”

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“Dude, what are the odds???” Ned squealed as he sat next to Peter at the cafeteria.

It was lunch time and the whole room was buzzing with chatty students and cutlery grazes.

“Yeah, wow, I’m the luckiest guy in the world, am I?” Peter mumbled, still baffled at the complete humiliation he had been given in front of the entire class. The second one that day.

“Now she has no other option than talk to you, think positive!”

“Amazing, it must be as pleasant as being held at gunpoint somehow, I mean… did you hear what she said?” he sighed “Mr. Andersen, can I switch partners?” Peter was mimicking her disgusted tone when Ned gave him the big eyes, nodding towards a point behind him.

“Brilliant, why wasting your time here when you could have a one-man show?” Y/N bluntly stated. Her arms were crossed against her chest, her eyes glued to his face like she was trying to read his soul for some reason.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t mean—it’s just—

-         Let’s spare us both this conversation, alright? It seems like we’ll have to do this assignment, so… your place or mine?”

Ned couldn’t help but chuckle at the ambiguous comment, but as Peter gave him the dead eye, it was definitely too late to take his nervous laughter back.

“What are you, 12?” Y/N pulled an unimpressed look, eyeballing Ned until he went slightly red. This time, it was Peter’s turn to contain his laugh. Her attitude and comebacks definitely reminded him of the great Tony Stark. In a weird way, it was comforting, like wrapping yourself into a warm blanket in a cold morning. She irradiated with that famous Spark Confidence.

“Whatever suits you best” Peter finally said after what seemed like an eternity of quietness.

“What suits me best is to not be doing this with you but it seems like this isn’t an option, so…”

“Okay, my place then? Peter blurted out all of a sudden

-         What time?

-         Six thirty

-         Good” she turned to Ned “You got a pen?”

Ned fiddled with his backpack and handed her a black ballpoint pen.

“Text me your address” she simply said, writing down her number on a napkin.

She walked away without further word, leaving both Ned and Peter speechless for a while. Peter watched her sit at a table with a bunch of fellow classmates and for a minute, it felt like his brain had stopped to frame-freeze the scene in front of him. Everyone around her seemed captivated, whatever she was talking about. She had inherited that charisma from her father, that ability to catch everyone’s attention in the blink of an eye.

As he stared at her for a couple more minutes, Peter realized this weird, tingly feeling was back at the pit of his stomach.

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@eternaleviee

[clickforspoilers]

mad libs for a mad lad.

WHO: Stephanie @clickforspoilers and Jason @thatsjasonfkntodd WHERE: SCPD Jail WHEN: May 19th 2020 WHAT: Stephanie is the first to visit Jason in jail bc this isn’t her first rodeo. She’s surprised to find that she can actually relate to him on some level.

Steph: As soon as Steph heard that Jason was in jail, she assumed Dick or Bruce brought him in for what happened and the docks and she was filled with righteous indignation. Then she talked to Tim and got the backstory, which was somehow even worse.

Regardless, she was one of the first to fill out an application to be a visitor and even picked up a few extra for the others. The receptionist was new, but Steph got a wave in to Gordon. She practically grew up around the police department with how often her father was in and out of jail and prison.

As soon as Jason's commissary was up she made sure there was money in it. After having several Thanksgivings with prison food she couldn't imagine it was much better in jail. Probably worse, especially with how out of date the place was. She also brought a ton of books she knew would be approved, asking Alfred which were Jason's favorites since no one else seemed to know.

"Wow, you look... orange." Those were the first words out of her mouth. A bit of levity. Jason: Jason had known that people would show up. He wasn’t sure who or when, exactly. Steph being at the head of the line did genuinely surprise him a little, considering how much time recently he’d spent getting in her way. None of it had been malicious, exactly, but he still wouldn’t have figured she’d show up before the others.

“Yeah, well, I told them that red was more my color but nobody seemed to care.” She had something with her, some kind of package, and he nodded toward it. “That for me?” What kind of screening process had the SCPD managed to drum up when they could barely keep officers on streets? Steph: "No, I just figured I'd read all these books and do all these Mad Libs in front of you as my own personal brand of torture." Steph could never keep a straight face even when she was being sarcastic. "Oh, I also put some cash in your commissary so you can live off twinkies or Snickers bars. They had a whole episode on Dateline about where they get jail food and trust me, you don't wanna eat it."

Maybe she was a little annoyed about the whole patrol thing, but she knew what Jason was doing. Maybe part of her enjoyed the petty competition. It introduced a little chaos into the regimented NOVA patrol-watching she would otherwise be doing. Not that she would actually admit it. Jason: “You read books? Color me impressed. The Mad Libs I believe.” Not that one single part of him actually thought Steph was dumb. Nowhere close. She’d be dead again if that was the case. Ignorance as a vigilante was a death sentence more than any knife or gun.

He reached one hand through the bars, though they were too narrow to get far. The books would fit. “I ate out of the trash in Crime Alley for years. I’ll survive jail food.” But he wouldn’t turn down a Twinkie either. Steph: "Fuck you. I read all the time." Maybe not everything she read was a book, but still. Steph preferred the more hands on method. She learned better that way.

Smirking, she handed him a Mad Libs book even though she knew that wasn't what he wanted. "Why eat maggots when you don't have to? That's seriously what they found in some of the food, y'know." Jason: “Protein is protein.” He wasn’t being serious, and even his incredibly low standards were still standards. “Pretty sure Dick might slip me a burger or something if it gets that bad, but I’ll keep my eyes open for creepy crawlies in the oatmeal.”

Jason took the mad lib book with a barely suppressed sigh. What was he, eight? Who did Mad Libs? Had he ever actually done one? In his whole life? He was fairly sure the answer was no, because he barely remembered what they were supposed to be. Since she’d brought it, though, he opened it and started to flip through, only to find that words had already been filled in.

“Seriously? You brought me used Mad Libs?” Only as he asked did he catch ‘Tim’ as one of the words. He read the rest of it quickly and sighed. “Yeah, well, everybody is upset.” Steph: Steph made a face at the idea of maggots in oatmeal, but she didn't say anything. She was too distracted watching Jason go through the Mad Libs. Maybe writing a note in there was a little hokey, even for her, but at least he was reading it.

"Yeah, Tim told me everything. I'm caught up." She hoped there wasn't anything else to know, at least. Even though she hadn't been involved in the Deathstroke plan, she hovered behind Babs and watched the whole thing go down. The entire day had been more than a little tense. "I know, but I think we should all try to be on the same page. It'll make things easier, at least. You know?" Jason: “All of us on the same page? Did you get high before you came in here? Have you met all of us?” They were never going to be on the same page about anything, or at least not on the same line of the same page. Still, the last time he’d spoken to Tim in a non-official capacity hadn’t exactly gone well. He hadn’t been in the mood for more feelings and of course that was the exact time that Tim, of all people, had wanted to have some.

Jason dropped the Mad Lib book to his side and ran his free hand over his jaw. “It’s not like I’m ignoring him. I just didn’t want a fucking heart to heart when he tried to have it, alright?” Steph: "I mean about this whole thing, not about literally everything ever." That was never going to happen and Steph wasn't naive. She might be less strict than the others about procedures and whatnot, but she generally followed the same code. It was something she accepted and it was the antithesis of what her dad had been. Sometimes she wondered if Jason was trying to do the same thing, but... opposite. Sort of. "I know you wouldn't ignore him, I'm just saying, you could reach out. You get phone calls, right?" Jason: “Are you kidding me? Why do I have to call him when you’re going to see him probably as soon as you leave? I’ll write a note in the Mad Libs and you can take it back to him.” Did it have to be so dramatic? He was in jail. That was hardly a position to be coddling somebody else’s hurt feelings, especially when Tim had been more than willing to pop off that night, too. It hadn’t been all on one side. Steph: Steph gave an exaggerated sigh, but his offer was certainly better than nothing. There was a reason she asked for something big first. This seemed like a fair compromise, even though she knew Jason wasn't about to write anything touchy feely. "I might be okay with that. It depends. What are you gonna write?" “How about stop being a fucking nerd and come see me in jail. Does that hit the right note? It’s an invitation.” If Tim holding out for some kind of apology, though, that wasn’t going to show up in Mad Lib or any other form. Once in awhile Jason offered them, he’d even given one to Tim before, but he had to feel well and truly in the wrong before he did it. In this case, he didn’t. Tim hadn’t known when to quit, he’d pushed and then snapped when he didn’t get the kind of response he wanted. It was on him as much as it was on Jason. Steph: "Maybe don’t be an asshole and leave the first part out. Then it's -" Steph clicked her tongue. "Perfect." Leaning on her elbow, she watched him for a few seconds before saying anything. "Maybe it was the wrong time or whatever, but you know how he is about showing feelings. He's not good at it. He admires you, so... go easy on him." Jason: “But the first part is how he knows I really wrote it.” Not that he had anything to write with. Maybe Steph had a pencil stub stuck in her bag. Was that a weapon? Probably. He could’ve made it a weapon. All he needed it for was writing the dumb Mad Lib note, though. “Fine. I’ll be the bad guy.” As always. “Am I supposed to do this in blood or can the SCPD spare a crayon for me?” Steph: Steph waved a pen and handed it over. “Flexible ink well.” She was prepared. Her father had to have one of the bendy pens when he’d been in prison, or a really short pencil. “This is you being the good guy, Hoodie. Not to put a bad taste in your mouth or anything, but when you aren’t an asshole you actually are a pretty good guy.” Jason: “How dare you slander me right to my face.” He took the pen and held the Mad Lib book  against the wall to scribble his note to Tim. It said exactly what he told her that he was writing, minus the first part, though he did add “nerd” onto the end before signing his name as though Tim might suspect Steph had done it instead. Once he’d finished, he held it back through the bars to her and motioned for the rest of what she was holding. “Can I have the actual books now?” Steph: "I'll take my vengeance in small ways." Steph had a plan to get Jason back for the pizza incident, but then this happened. She reached for the Mad Libs and glanced at what he wrote. Sliding the box over, she took out one book at a time so she could pass them through the bars. "I got my information from Alfred. If it were up to me you might've ended up with the newest issues of Seventeen." Jason: “Your vengeance. For what? That crummy pizza? There’s twenty bucks in the nightstand by my bed. Buy another one.” Or he was pretty sure there was, anyway. There was probably something in there. He’d just bailed on the manor with his bag to stay with Dick for all of about a day before everything went down and couldn’t remember what he’d left or not left.

Jason rolled his eyes and started collecting the books one by one beneath his arm. Alfred, unsurprisingly, had given Steph his favorites and a few he hadn’t actually read before. It would keep him Bush for a little while. “Thanks for bringing these,” he said, suddenly serious as he took the last one. Steph: Rolling her eyes, Steph made a scoffing sound. "You're not getting off that easy." There was no way she planned all that for nothing. "I'll totally take the 20$ though," she added as an afterthought.

It was so rare that Jason was sincere that it sometimes took her a second to recognize when it was happening. She nodded, even though she still passing him various puzzles like Sudoku and a book of Crosswords. "Sure," she said once there was nothing more to hand over. Holding the empty box on her lap, she hesitated before asking, "Have you talked to Bruce yet?"

Jason: “You can always throw in some theft charges against me,” he offered, like that was going to make much difference alongside the murder and all.

His demeanor changed the instant that Steph brought up Bruce. He hadn’t laid eyes on him since Dick told him what had happened with Joker, and the mere thought of it gave him a whole fresh wave of anger. “No, and I don’t have a damn thing to say to him if he deigns to show up.” Steph: "Wow. Money, charges, and my own personal brand of revenge. Any more ideas?" Steph grinned, as if she fully intended to take every suggestion Jason was willing to throw her way.

The smile faded at the dramatic change in Jason's mood. "I know you hate him on principle, so don't bite my head off or anything, but what the fuck? Aren't you staying at the manor?" Jason was never on good terms with Bruce, but this went beyond their usual tension. Jason: “Fresh out, but those should keep you busy for awhile. They’re worth one pizza.” Not to mention that whole scenario had been hilarious, even if Steph had been unwilling to see it.

“On principle,” he repeated bitterly, like hating Bruce came as naturally as the properties of gravity or something. Any objects heavier than air will fall and Bruce Wayne is a bastard. Did any of the rest of them know what had happened with Joker? Someone did, surely. Dick had said Babs tried to stop him from going after him, Tim had been there. “I was. The day before we went after Deathstroke I started crashing with Dick,” he said, not immediately offering the explanation. Steph: "Best way I could think to describe it," said Steph with a sigh. Unlike Jason, she didn't hate Bruce despite his failings. Then again, she hadn't died and been resurrected in a Lazarus Pit.

No one told her about Jason leaving. She'd even stopped by his room to see if he were in the mood to spar in the gym. When she didn't get an answer, Steph just assumed he needed a break from the manor. She expected him to be elusive. "...Why? The whole reason you came to the manor is because Bruce has an amazing security system. I mean, Babs designed it." Jason: “Why? Because if I’d sooner punch him than look at him and I figured Alfred shouldn’t have to clean up the blood.” It had been a long time since Jason had truly entertained violent notions against Bruce, aside from an empty threat here or there that he made against practically everyone, but what Dick told him had stirred up something deep that Jason genuinely thought he was beyond.

“You don’t know, do you?” He didn’t owe Bruce enough to keep his secret, but maybe he owed Dick. It wasn’t like the story wholly belonged to Jason. He swiped a hand over his mouth and shook his head. “Ask Dick.” Steph: Surprised, Steph's eyes widened and she sat back in her seat. Even though the intention took her off guard, even if it wasn't a serious one (...she was pretty sure it was), her expression was more confused than horrified.

"Know what? Is it about the files? Because he has files on us?" That was the only thing she could think of that was at all related to recent events and might have pissed Jason off. It seemed like a small thing, considering it was Bruce and his obsessive information gathering wasn't new. "I'm not asking Dick, I'm asking you." Jason: “No, it’s not about the files, but it might be in Dick’s.” He’d realized that in retrospect, but they’d never made it past the line about Deathstroke and Jason hadn’t gone back to check.

Jason stared through the bars at some fixed point past Steph. “He brought Joker back to life,” his voice was low, not for privacy but because repeating it had added a threatening edge to his tone. “He brought him back because Dick killed him and Bruce...” suddenly his eyes were back on her, “Bruce places more value on the fucked up golden calf he’s made out of Dick than on our lives or anyone else’s.” How many people had Joker gone on to kill after that resurrection? Steph: Jesus. All this was making Steph really dread ever finding out what was in her file. Hopefully it was all stuff she already knew and not stuff she made a point to block out.

The news didn't elicit any shock from her. Her shoulders slumped and she nodded. "I know. I was there." She'd watched Bruce resuscitate Joker and witnessed the aftermath. Uncharacteristically quiet, her nails picked at the edges of the box on her lap. Even though she knew Bruce had been determined to get to the Joker before Dick killed him, she never expected it would end the way it did. "But why?" She finally whispered, meeting his eyes. Bruce's motivations weren't even something she'd venture to guess at. She'd always been wrong in the past. Jason: “You were there?” Did everybody fucking know except for him? Had they all just sat back for years and let him think that Joker had walked free and clear after killing him, when the truth of it was that Bruce refused to let him stay dead? Had they all known?

Jason clenched his hand and took a step back from the bars and away from Steph. “Why? Who cares? Why does it matter why? Would the answer make you feel better?” Because it wasn’t going to help Jason. Bruce’s explanation was never, ever going to be good enough. Steph: "Yeah. I got there at the same time as Bruce." Steph dug her fingernail into the box and watched it turn white. "He was dead by then."

She shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. He didn't avenge me either, Jason. Maybe I wasn't dead, but he didn't know that, so I at least know how shitty it feels to know the guy who fucked your life up is still out there walking around and no one cares enough to make him pay for it. I'd be beyond pissed if he actually brought Sionis back to life." She swallowed hard. "But I'm not his kid. It's worse for you. I'll never say you should forgive him." Jason: Jason could have killed Black Mask. He’d meant to, eventually, at the end of all of it, except he hadn’t got the end that he’d been expecting and by then Roman had gone back underground to lick his wounds. Steph deserved better than that, even if Jason hadn’t been around or been part of things when she’d “died.” He’d been too preoccupied with his own revenge against Bruce to make Black Mask any kind of priority. He’d suffered at Red Hood’s hands, sure, but he shouldn’t have been drawing breath by the end of it. A loose end. He didn’t say any of that to Steph, but he put it somewhere in the back of his mind.

“I’m sick of his bullshit. I’m tired of hearing him defended. I won’t do it anymore.” Not after learning everything. It was worse, somehow, than Bruce refusing to kill Joker himself. “I’m not going back to the manor when I get out of here.” Steph: After Steph's return, she was shocked to find out so many people even knew she died. Her stint as Robin was so short that she would have believed it didn't even count, if it weren't for those words Bruce said to her in the hospital. They were still words she held onto, even now when she knew she shouldn't. His approval still meant something to her. He might not deserve her loyalty and maybe she should be as bitter and angry as Jason, but Steph just didn't have it in her. She'd wanted to be Robin. Her last act was her own doing.

But that didn't mean she didn't understand Jason's wrath just because she responded with hurt rather than rage. "Where are you going to go?" She asked with a frown, concerned. "I thought you didn't have a safehouse yet." Jason: "I'll figure it out. I have money," his own money. "It talks." Just because he did not burn through it as rapidly as Roy didn't mean it wasn't there. Jason had spent the last few years still working, even after the Red Hood & Arsenal venture had come to its end, and even though he didn't do everything for pay, he still did plenty. The accounts weren't in his name, and in all likelihood nobody knew about them but him. It was a rainy day fund, more or less, and suddenly it had started fucking pouring. Steph: "Too bad it doesn't walk," Steph quipped, even though her tone was dry. She didn't like seeing Jason in here. It didn't seem right, even if he killed people and all that. He wasn't a villain. "You didn't go to the manor because you didn't have money. You went because it was safe." She frowned suddenly, glancing around the jail as if her immediate surroundings might give some indication. "Are you safe here? I mean, I know it's jail and all, but that isn't saying much." Jason: "Yeah, and the manor was always supposed to be temporary." He'd never wanted to have to stay there, but it had been the best short term option at the time. Maybe leaving hadn't been in the best interest of his safety, but it was certainly in the best interest of everyone else's. He knew where his head had gone after that conversation with Dick, and whether Dick said it aloud or not he was fairly sure he knew it, too. Maybe that's why he'd been so quick to offer Jason a room at his place.

At the second question, he just scoffed. "Here? Probably not. If I actually wanted to get out of here, I've already thought of about four different ways, and if I can think of ways out that means it's a lot easier to get in." But he'd known that when he'd had the idea, not to mention how quickly both Roy and Dick had pointed it out. Steph: Steph winced. "And you just sitting in a cell with nothing but Mad Libs as a weapon. Fantastic." It was some comfort that Dick was there, but he wasn't there every second. Gordon could also hold his own even if he wasn't a vigilante. At least the officers were armed. "It's not likely to happen though, right? I mean, seems dumb to attack a jail even if it isn't as secure as you'd think." It was Jason's helplessness that was troubling. They could literally just shoot him through the bars.

A buzzing sound made her roll her eyes. "Time's almost up." Jason: "I'm not worried about it. If I was, I would've thought up something better than this." Maybe some of that was bravado, and a little more was for her benefit (and everyone else's) than his own, but still. He wasn't losing sleep over it. He'd played out a few different scenarios in his head, put together a little mental list of who (if anyone) was most likely to come for him there. "I've got good improv skills. I'll handle it."

He looked back down the hallway and nodded. "Yeah. Go buy a pizza and give Tim that dumb note. Thanks for the books."

[polygamyff]

55. Part 2

Staring at Leon and Jacob, they are cute together and I think Jacob really cares for him which I love to see for him. I am happy for him and I am happy that he has a man that can be there for him but he let me down, I maybe need time to get over it I suppose but I know he is genuine with the sorry and how he ran away with the guilt “I will be getting married next week, just after Maurice gets the business signed over to him. You are all invited, I will have to message you the details of where and when, but Leon and I did speak on things that happened. He knows and understand how upset I am with what happened but me, as an adult should also take responsibility for going there too. But I just want my friend back, the friend I know. Asia and Jacob, I think you are both great people. But with Leon and I, we have been through a lot, he is my best friend and I felt let down with him. I am sure we will get back to that, you think?” looking at Leon “I do, you are my best friend Robyn, I was scared that Maurice would have put into your mind to get rid of me, I messed up and I admit to that” nodding my head “are we really invited to your wedding?” Asia asked, she had to ask a second time “yes of course, I mean Leon was always invited and I just know he will be making it up to me. He was there for me at my lowest, bought my daughter her first baby crib, tried to do her bedroom up a little bit when we lived together, he was ready to be her second father. I remember things like that, I remember people that was there, and people do make mistakes. Don’t you think?” Leon got up from his chair “I was ready to be her daddy, you know that. I fucked up, I get it, but you are my sister, my best friend. Like these two don’t mean as much as you do” Leon hugged me, I do feel let down by him still but I will learn to forgive him “I don’t have a sibling, but to me you are that” Leon squeezed me a little more.

Touching my stomach, I swear at first I wanted pizza, I enjoyed it but now my stomach is not happy with it “I am not shocked you are pregnant again, them two are at it like rabbits. Constantly having sex but also you said you wanted your babies to have siblings because you never got that, so I expected it and I am super happy for you. How many kids? I think I remember you said three, so one more to go” Leon raised a glass to me “wow, you remember that I think I will have a break, give it a few years and then another one. I just want Reign to have a sibling because I felt a little lonely when I grew up, I had nobody, and I thought Tiffany was a sister to me, so I hope its girl again. Two sisters to grow up together” Jacob cooed out “I heard about Tiffany; she is bad vibes. Leon told me everything, that is no sister at all. And what got me, she named her child Royal!? I was like, no way. But her husband is handsome, he looks good. Well ex-husband of hers” Jacob said which made me laugh “well I think she may be there, don’t quote me on it. That child will hold connection which she wanted; she doesn’t want him to have any connection with the baby but pay for it? Make it, make sense. She is a total crazy ass bitch!” I spat “the devil Jacob, I told you. Royal? I mean were you trying to make my niece look any less? I think the fuck not, Royal” Leon laughed “that baby is lucky, he got the good genes because chile, his mother is the devil. Imagine growing up to know your family is rich as fuck and your mother took that from you? I would be so angry” I laughed, Leon always makes me laugh “well Kellen is trying to get some form of visitation, but he is cute, I won’t deny that. He got that Davenport look in him, they all handsome people aren’t they” Leon giggled “well I did fancy Kellen, at one point but that ended once he got with Tiffany” he gagged “I seen Tiffany but out of you and her, why not you?” Asia asked “he did want to be with me, I just didn’t find him attractive. He’s pretty but no” I pulled a face “Maurice is my perfect man, I liked him when I first met him” Jacob cooed out “that is so cute, like it’s a beautiful love story. I am sorry, I just find it so cute how you both got together” I blushed putting my head down “it’s hard but I am happy that we made it, he is the man I wanted” Asia cooed out “you are both so cute together” I chuckled, this is making me go so shy “let’s talk about you Asia, they could be potential at the wedding? Find yourself a man there” Asia laughed out “you think? But rich men are not shit, no offence if they love you then you good but if not, will I be their sex slave” I paused staring “well, possibly but try” I laughed, she sounds like me, what perspective I had on business men.

I think I am going to keep Leon around but at a distance, he is better off with me then out there. I don’t know if he would turn on me if I did let him go but I think I will keep him around, I would like to see if he does make it up to me, will he attempt to do so but Maurice is right. Money got to him; he has changed slightly to me anyways. But I will keep this to myself and not to tell Maurice because he doesn’t like him anyways “you want anything else to drink?” Jacob asked “uhm, no thank you. Maurice should be coming here for me any minute now” I did text him the address “really, already-” he got cut off by the knocking on the door “right, I will be back” smiling at him “how is work for you anyways?” I asked Leon “it’s good, I am so happy. Happiest I have ever been” my smile grew “I said for you to wait downstairs, I would come down” Maurice came here in here to me “well I came to you” getting up from the couch “would you like a drink?” Jacob asked Maurice “I need to be off, thank you though” Leon just froze “I will text you, let you know the details. It was so nice to see you” I said as Asia hugged me “same, we will meet up again of course” Jacob and Asia I don’t have an issue with, Leon on the other hand. He was supposed to be my friend, so it’s difficult for me to accept he just didn’t feel confident enough to come and tell me, but I will be watching him “you good?” Maurice said to me, he just wants an argument “yes, let’s go” walking around the couch “come again Robyn, nice seeing you” Jacob saluted me.

I know Maurice and he didn’t come in that place to be nice “you look sexy with your sleeveless vest on, showing some skin huh” Maurice turned to me as he pressed the elevator button “you like my skinny self? I need to be cool, it’s hot out here and I can’t wear too much clothing. I feel better this way” letting out an oh “ok, I get it but I like skinny men with a big dick by the way. I have never liked a big bulky man, I do actually prefer a skinny man, nothing attractive about a man with muscles” Maurice side eyed me “see you are lying, you think this shit is a joke” stepping onto the elevator behind him “you are such a liar, I am wearing this for myself not you. Anyways, what did he say? You see how he all quiet now, I will take the shit he loves. How did he afford this place too?” resting back against the elevator “stop it, I think he knows. I have spoken to him and he apologised and he said it was something we needed to speak on but never did because he was scared on how to approach the situation, he admitted to getting at you but he is sorry. It was never meant to go that way” Maurice frowned “you just skimmed over the fact he went out of his way to get at me?” he pointed at himself, he looks so annoyed “and he is sorry for it, look at me. He was being my friend at that time and likewise for him, but I wouldn’t take him anywhere like he did. I am just going to keep him there, see if it was just the scared to talk about it situation or that he has changed. But he will be-” Maurice cut me off “I don’t like him Robyn, I just don’t fuck with the dude. I cut Shawn off like that and he was dying for me to go Milan, I don’t care anymore. I don’t need anybody” Maurice made his way over to me, placing my hand on his chest “and I understand that but that is your situation, this is mine. I want to see for myself because he is my friend yeah? We all make mistakes and also he will be at my wedding Maurice, he will be” Maurice huffed out “so he can use you for some views, ok. I will be there when he upsets you. You and that stupid gang” rolling my eyes as he stepped off the elevator, he is so uptight about stuff.

I do understand he is under some pressure to tighten up on his circle and he feels Leon is not part of that but I need to give him a chance, I just don’t want to cut him off like that and you never know Shawn and Maurice may make up by then “I am just more annoyed he admitted to trying to get at me when I have done nothing but nice to him for you and then I get this. I am always nice to people; I don’t have time for him to be twofaced either. Tell me this Robyn, you fully trust him?” looking over at Maurice, he looked at me and then looked back on the road “I trust him Maurice, I trust him to not fuck me over because he had the chance. He is more scared of you and this attitude” he really is “because he didn’t fucking see what I saw! It was on him Robyn, he did that” Maurice shouted “but I fucking spoke to them guys Maurice! Yes, I went there but I did it, stop it. Please” I don’t wish to argue with him about it either “you know what, it’s on you yeah. If he comes at me this is on you” he’s acting like he would even try “things were going to be hard coming here Maurice, I don’t want to argue but I will take fault if he does fuck up but he won’t, I just need to see this for myself” Maurice is not happy at all but here he is speeding along “I am pregnant you know, speeding along so fast. I would like to see my child grow” I had to say it “nobody is on the road, why would I danger you? I am not that selfish” I think Maurice wanted me to end it which didn’t happen, but he will get over it “fine, but he stays out of my way. Unless he wants to speak to me which he won’t” that is something I guess, least he is not really pushing for it “Cali seems to be bad for us, I feel it” I don’t know why but I do “it’s not good is it” Maurice agreed with me.

There really must be something in the waters with the way Maurice and I always fall out in Cali, it’s just bizarre that it always happens when we are here because in New Yok this shit would not be like this and we do get on more. Well at least we are back home even though we have been ever so quiet with each other during this journey back to my house “we good?” Maurice asked as he turned off the car engine “we always good Maurice, are you good? Driving like a mad man, you are not happy clearly?” he unbuckled his belt “not that, I just have my views on that, but I am going to leave it alone. I have other things like my boy baking in your stomach” I laughed shaking my head “boy please, it’s going to be another girl. Another mini me” I grinned “sure, I will let you think that Bonita” he said smiling at me “keep annoying me and it will be another mini me” Maurice laughed, he was about to reach his hand over but he stopped himself “what is it?” I questioned “nothing, just don’t want to start annoying you by touching your stomach” shaking my head frowning, reaching over and grabbing his hand “I want you to touch my stomach Maurice, don’t ever question yourself like that again” placing his hand over my stomach “also there is really nothing there” there is nothing to really touch “there is McStuffins, your stomach is full” makes me happy inside when Maurice does this “but do I annoy you? Seems like I do?” shaking my head laughing “you never do, you’re just cute and stupid at times but I like that because you’re so serious out there” he can be himself with me.

Watching Maurice walk around the car “you look tired again” he does “just a little, we watched Moana and Reign loved the songs, but I fell asleep. Then I woke up for you, just I am just a little sleepy” wrapping my arm around his “well pootie, we can go to sleep early because I am feeling tired too but I do want to say that I know you feel like I am going into this whole Leon situation blind sided but I’m not, I promise you that I wouldn’t danger the family name that is also soon to be mine. Things were going to be hard for us and we will get there, ok?” Maurice nodded his head “I will just learnt out of it but still don’t fuck with him” at least he is backing down and not going on about it “respecting your wishes, you know” moving my arm away from his to open the door “I appreciate that Maurice, I hope Reign is asleep because I want to go to bed and rest” pushing the door open “mommy we are back” walking into the home “Robbie” my mom got up from the couch and then seeing Thomas sat in the home “oh great” Maurice said behind me.

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and Melting Walls (2/8) “The Naming of the Beast”

Summary: Remy gets home, his day unusually long and body extremely exhausted. Still, he and the cat seem to get along a bit better as they share a bit of time bonding in their weird states.

Tags: mentions of the vet (+ aftermath), abandoned cat, alcohol/wine, tipsy Remy (being a soft man), food/ meat, pain killer mention, drinking, dummy logic, dummy thicc fucking Remy, Remy the cat whisperer, mentions of Kim Kardeshian.. shien..? idk man, slight mention of systemic oppression bc wow Remy is spilling the beans, name talks, cuddling, snuggling, books, mentions of vaccines, soft insults bc Remy, purposefully horrible old english.

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Story under the cut! (Wordcount: ~3,5k)

 It was late when the kitty cat and Remy returned and in all honestly, the receptionist was more than exhausted and done with everything. The whole day had taken a toll on him and interacting with people under bright lights was obviously not the best for a person with photo-sensitivity and self-diagnosed bitch syndrome.

 His body was hurting, the pain had gotten more intense and rendered him a heavy and sleepy mess. He still needed to feed the cat. While the pain killers had done some to ease his pain, the extra activity had him feel like absolute trash, after all.

At least, the vet had found the little queen to be healthy and taken good care of. It indicated that there were owners or strangers to take care of the kitten but there were no tattoos, no marks or anything. Whatever care the cat had received before, it seemed to be over now. Nobody was looking for the cat as far as the vet and the local pet shelter have told him.

 To make sure the cat would be okay, he got scheduled appointments for vaccinations (the kitty cat already got some that day). In like, a month, he was supposed to come back. Considering the cat was about one year old, it was time to refresh vaccinations anyway, at least that is what the vet said. There was so much information smoking in his brain and it hurt him. It was extra weight putting his head down.

 There was no chip for the kitten.. He would set up an ad on-line to show that the cat was found. He and the vet assume the cat to have run away from home or having been left behind after the family moved. Something like that.

Still, he could try so the cat would not really be his problem anymore. There was obviously no name tag or collar. He would have noticed, he is not that fucking dense. The vet, too.

 At least Remy got some answers for what the fuck this kitten should eat and could not ever eat because it could hurt.

 Also, the cat was a she. Well, too fucking bad Remy settled for they/them pronouns. While he talked to the cat, he could at least practice pronouns he usually did not use much. The cat could not get offended. Totally a win-win situatuon.

 The coffee lover curled up on the couch, kitty cat still somewhat drowsy in his lap.To be honest, the cat felt drunk to him, so Remy did not know better but to nurse his own wine while giving the kitten some chicken he had gotten for them.

 “Queen, you are a really really unbelievable thing”, he started as he looked at the tiny void in his lap that was currently chewing on a last bit of chicken pieces.

 He had removed all that bone stuff and washed off the meat before to make sure it was not seasoned or too greasy and such for the kitten. Totally no need to kill the poor thing when he could just be fucking careful and mind their needs and limits.

 “You know, you get all hot on those funny things and you are living with me now - without paying rent - and like, you do not even give me your a name. You are, like, the most mysterious person I have ever met. Fucking rude, you little harlot.”

 Remy sipped a bit of his wine and placed the package on the table. Yes, he drank wine out of a package because he was a cheap person. He needed to pay off the flat he had bought because his job did not make the most money ever. At least it was enough for him having a somewhat cozy and stable life.

 He carefully shifted under the warm weight of the warm fluff. Remy was so glad the vet cleaned the cat so he did not need to do that. Was that extra service? He definitely paid for this shit, not gonna lie. Well, he would get a bill eventually and then he could still get upset over that. Ultimately, it did not matter right? He had some savings and the cat would be gone soon because it was someone else’s kitty cat.

 It was not even in his place to just cuddle with the kitten while watching some bitch flick. But now that he had to ditch his weekend routine for the cat, they had to suck up for it. Also, he was just in a ton of pain by now and hoping for the local wine package to just knock him out well enough. If his senses were numbed, so were his pain receptors because brain foggy when Remy drunk-y.

 “Listen up, kitty cat. We might need a name for you, darling”, he started and looked down at how they were licking over their muzzle and nose.

 The meal was done and the cat seemed satisfied... The little tongue looked so cute, it was so so pink.

 “I mean, maybe you already have a name but calling you queen all the time ..”, he trailed off and shrugged, “you know, don’t know whether you, like, deserve that title to be a name. It is something you earn and live, but you are not just some queen. Except when you are some fucking royal but who the fuck cares about that shit.”

 The cat looked up at him and he vaguely looked back before sticking his tongue out and gently brushing through the soft fur of the little monster of coal he sheltered.

 “Yeah, right. Fuck the Queen. It is not the same as you being a queen. Anyway, it would kinda not be the same for you to be a queen and to be Queen. You know?“

 Remy chuckled as the kitten pushed its head against his ribcage.

 “You totally get me, don’t you?”

 The kitten meowed in reply and he continued to pet the little ball of softness. The little one even smelled great. Well, now.

 “Okay, let us give you a name that fits you. I don’t know, honey. Something fancy but also classy because it is you”, he giggled, “I don’t know but we will find something!”

  Remy gently picked up the little kitten and hummed as he stumbled over to the bookshelves. His wine was abandoned and the small void simply meowed in response to his actions.

 “You know what, fuck that show. They all suck anyway, honey. Reality TV is just a nice background .. nice, like.. what else would people watch Kim Kardeshian for? Genuine interest? Gurl, it is all about the sounds and sights or plainly being the malicious bitch to gossip and ridicule these people.”

 He giggled and settled before the bookshelf, sitting there with the little queen on his arms. Was queen a title, now? Not a name but somehow some kind of pet name, huh.

 “You know what, kitty?”, he whispered and the cat shook their head at the sudden sounds and the wet breath Remy offered. They pushed their little head against the man’s collar bone.

“I am that kinda bitch to do all the heavy gossiping.”

 He laid down and let the cat rest on his chest. His back was pressed against the dark floor in his reading corner. The curious little cloud looked around and stood up, tail curiously moving from one side to the other. Then it stayed and moved in slow-motion before returning to the other side while staying kinda between low and horizontal.

 Cats were so cute.

 And the cat really looked like a cloud.

A dark one.

Not a black sheep, a black cloud!

 “Storm cloouUuUuUd”, Remy sang softly and the cat turned back to him, letting out a responsive sound in reply.

 They understood him! Or were at least annoyed enough to react and give him a “what the fuck” look with all the sassy cat-ness in their bi-coloured orbs.

 “Aw!! You react! But that is a long way to go, still, you brooding little dust ghost.”

 He blew a little bit off of the cat’s head and brushed it off to make sure it was all clear. Maybe from the chicken or the couch.

He had to cleaaaan, ew. Woooork.

Bad cat. They really be spreading the dust around like a little ghost.

Damn it, he only wanted to find some nicknames for the small being.

  “Cat, can’t you do the work for me? I mean, come on, I totally got you to the vet and you got drugged for free. That is a real favour to do for a stranger, gurl.”

 The cat looked back up at him.

Oh, how could he have forgotten about that??

 “Bitch!”

 Remy exclaimed wildly and sat up, simply to fall back into the ground with a dull ‘thud’ accompanying his motions. The insides of his head seemed to be forcefully shrunk together and the tipsy man groaned in annoyance. The pain was so fuzzy and far away, it was basically a street sign on the other side of the street during a day of heavy fog.

All he did feel was the heaviness of his head and the horrible throbbing that came right after he limply dropped into the hard wood again.

 “uh… Aw, I am the dumb bitch, here. Kim, save me”, he weakly slurred.

 Obviously, he was in about the greatest state to take care of another being, especially one that was just as drowsy as him and slowly processed his sudden movements with flinches away from him.

When the man did not move, the curious guest nudged Remy’s nose with their own.

Had the coffee lover seen it, he would have swooned, probably.

 Well, on the other side, he slowly got himself together and carefully shifted again, this time being considerate of his own and the kitty’s needs. He was much slower, lethargic in a way, it would make Sloth itself jealous.

Eventually, he was in position, vision still blurred with blackish spots tainting his view on the dimly lit apartment.

  “So- as I was saying… wait”, he started yet trailed off soon after, voice quieting down and light eyes closing.

“uh.. yeah, I know where I left off. So, as I was, uh, saying.. Like, bitch! You are totally as tipsy as I am with all those killers in ya, big boi.”

 Once more, his own giggles filled the room while the cat just pushed their head against his chin. The creature somewhat vibrated a bit and it felt oddly funny to Remy. Indescribable sounds came from the little kitty cat. It did not sound like a Queen, not really. It was more like uh.. a cat. Nothing else Remy has ever heard sounded quite like that.

 “You uh.. you still need a name, you little void egg, you. Hihi.“

 Remy curled and gently cradled the black ball closer. His grip around the cat was secure yet loose. The cloud of nothingness was comfortably sunk into his arms as the man got onto his wobbly legs and moved his jelly sticks closer to the little corner of books and boxes once more.

The kitten did have more than just great taste to hide there when they first started exploring some shit around his flat.

 Their flat?

… uhh.. the doc said to look for the original owners.. oh man, he still had to do that on top of all the things he had to do. And he did not even know whether it was worth it but it was much better than just giving the cat over to some shelter.. uh.. cat thingy.. cat orphanage?

Cat orphanage. Sounded like a totally valid word. Yes, Remy, the name was, like, totally not sanctuary. Absolutely it was not. You fucking genius.

 The kitten was snuggled up to Remy’s chest, acutely unaware of the change of environment that slowly came around with Remy wandering off their spot to really dive into the corner of his secret reading delights. He was back on the oriel, the space were the floor was not any dark wood anymore but instead carpeted in wine red. This was the only piece of floor in his home that had a little bit of carpet and it just started with a provisional glass door he had put there with more than just a little effort.

Basically, this little corner was a glass globe library with the perfect sight on the snowy streets and other weather conditions throughout life. Due to architecture, he basically had a built-in bench because some oriels build a “dent” into the home which can be used as some kind of elaborate and excessively broad window sill.

 It was worth all the work he had put into it.

Whenever he came in to read, it was calm and silent, it was warm but easily adjusted by opening the windows or turning on the heating (considering he did not live in the warmest region on earth at all. In fact, he lived in a more moderate climate and enjoyed the tendency towards coolish temperatures. Despite climate change, there was still snow early in the winter months).

 The two curled up on the floor, leaning against a beanbag. Remy was leaning against the beanbag, to be specific. The kitten was curled up on Remy, cuddling into his arms like the hazy bitch they were. The Queen could barely process anything but well, steady ground it was.

Remy was resting on the bean bag, the cat silently meowing at the change of softness around them when the home-owner slowly turned his body for the kitten to slide against the bad with him.

Maybe the cat liked it. Nobody could know anything because the cat was out of it and also, cats were hell-spawns who were not to be understood but worshipped only.

 A book was resting in Remy’s lap. When did he pull it there? He did not remember. Maybe it had just settled with him, flying over or whatnot.

The book was one hell of a beast.

Pages upon pages were stacked on top of one another and bound together in the obscene creation of a whole book that held knowledge, big enough to rival a human brain in size - at least when putting this knowledge onto pages in barely readable fonts and size.

 “Yo, cat. We need a name for ya, honey.”

 He let his head roll to the side and then back into position again. The void looked over at him and seemed to shrug. Maybe Remy was imagining things.

 “Uh.. You can’t read that for me, now, can you? Why do people even get cats, man. Like, no offence but is that not why we have human beings? So we socialise and uh .. uh like.. taaaalk and hate one another. Cuz we totaaally need that kinda interaction.”

 His voice let the words blend in together, the muffled sentence barely resembling different words or sounds but instead one big hum. Useless blabber, at most. Not that the pet would understand him if he was putting proper effort into talking like a sober and completely sane person.

 “Caaat. Caaaat, just learn reading? Give yourself a name, gurl. Independence!”

 Yeah, well.. This seemed not to work, in fact, it obviously resembled a fruitless endeavour instead. Much like teaching a donkey how to sow greens, the cat took up Remy’s words and ignored them skilfully. Even in his tipsy mind, he was well aware that an animal would not just magically learn reading and then read out to him. However, the wishful thinking was still in his heart… and his foggy dummy mind.

He reverted to child-like attention spans and reasoning abilities whenever he got to drink just a bit more than a little. And honestly, the wine got a little to him, especially with this bottomless void eating, like, all of this fucking chicken.

 He mumbled something about sharing under his breath before he pulled the book closer and heaved it open with his weak noodle power. There was not that much energy left in his heart. He was tipsy and as soft as molten butter.

The book groaned as it was opened, awakening the pages of knowledge from deep slumber.

It willingly dropped the front and backside onto Remy’s lap. It spread like a good partner for the intimate deeds. The excitement of being handled and warmed by a knowledge-seeking person got to it and drove the book to reveal just the right passage for them.

 “Names.. Names. Kitty cat, pick a name.”

 “mrrrow..?”

 “Yeah, hoe, but like, you’re a Queen.. to me and not to others so how about you lemme pick a name,  so the mortals can give you their foolish attempts of daring to raise their voice at you without spoiling your title, you void hoe.”

 The cat gave him a slow-motion blink of two eyes. These wonderfully coloured eyes.. How were cats allowed to just have such precious gems as eyes. Like.. did he rob some jewellery store thing.. did they have names again, he felt like they had some kinda name and he was supposed to know this and all.

Uh, he would be clever later.

 “Alright. This is a name dictionary thing. Like, for when you get a baby and you need to name that little shit, so the system can discriminate against it. It gives you names, you know. You have them according to the alphabet which is a linguistic attempt at bringing order into the way we communicate and organise shit. By the way, this is totally lame because language is fucking liv- ah, uh.. alive. That’s the bitch I was looking for.”

 Remy suppressed a burp before he allowed himself to continue.

 “Can you .. can you just paw this thing?”

 The cat did not move. Uh.. He carefully nudged the little monster. A lazy glare was thrown his way but this is where it stopped. Such a lazy hoe. They would be the bestest of friends very soon.

Seriously, kitten? Not even some dumbass meow sound or whatever? Wow, okay. Selfish much.

 He groaned.

Now we was getting upset with a little cat. He made it this far in his life. Instead of diving deeper into any negative feelings, he moved himself. His finger gently tapped onto the paw once more and softly stroked it before putting it onto the page.

 “Oh, mine own dearest liege, I has't did summon all the fucks i has't hath left to giveth and ‘t wast enow to maketh.. this miracle! Uh - thou hath moveth thy fucking paw. ”

 …Not even that did get the cat to as much as meow at him. At LEAST the void monster spared him a glance of annoyance for his effort. Valid, valid. At least some feedback, thundercloud. Yet, the moment was gone as soon as it came and the kitten then dropped the whole thing and looked down again.

Some sorta ritual to close their eyes and nap away. Even the cat had better living habits than he did.

 “Nonononono, dun nap jus yeeeet! V-V … uh..”

 He had taken up the name from the book, accepting the fate of the paw and started looking into the decision of the higher spirits. He was ready to act up on whatever the heavens and skies and all that shit have decided for the cat to be named.

 The man squinted at the pages.

The top of it said “V”, so he knew that this was the start for their name now. Of course the Queen would be such a diva and end up with a name as unique as starting with such a rare letter. Totally Extra :tm:.

To be fair.. who the fuck used those letters anyway, man.. xylophone? Laaaaaaaaaaaame. Virginia, Voltron, V-.. V…

 “Virgil”

 Remy blinked.

He blinked multiple fucking times.

The name did NOT, unlike his mind’s stupid expectation, suddenly change into something like, uh, you know,… Jared. Some funny shit.

 No, it was still this name. Virgil.

 “Is that even a name for a cat who I declare to be gendered in the neutral only? Uh, you know.. whatever, like, it is whatever because you are a QUEEEEEENG.. Queen.. a queen. You just un-rule gendered names. They are stupid anyway, guuurl. Fuck this all.”

 “Queen Virgil! Now how does that make you feel, huh?”

 The kitten gave him another blink and finally retreated their paw.

 “Yeah, my little nightmare goat. We are gonna go nap all night, all day!”

 The man giggled again. Then he made sure to just give up and fall asleep like that, curled up on a beanie, kitty cat fur tickling him and doing nothing to facilitate his breathing. All he breathed in was ai- uh.. No.. Virgil’s fur.

 Welcome to a change of life, huh?

Or simply: “Welcome, Virgil”.

[lachlantrash]

“You’re Important Too.”

"Lachlan are you sure that your family's okay with this?" You sigh in his driveway, looking at your lap from the passenger seat of his car.

"Babe, they're 100% fine with it. They wanted you here anyways, before your parents got into a fight. They love you more than me." He laughs, placing his hand on top of yours.

"Are you sure that they don't feel obligated to let me over? 'Cause I can go home if that's the case, I don't mind at all and I-" You look up at Lachlan, stopping when he presses a gentle kiss to your lips.

"(Y/N), I promise you that they want you here. Nobody deserves to spend Christmas feeling down, especially nobody like you." He smiles.

"But it's Christmas, you should spend it with your family, they're important. You and I can spend like, any other day together. It's not right of me to intrude just because my parents couldn't control themselves at our family party. Honestly I can't believe they'd make a scene like that, it was so embarrassing. They just kept screaming until my mom finally walked out, my dad right behind her." You sigh, remembering the awkward moments of silence that followed as your extended family watched your parents scream about cheating and divorce.

"You're important too. You're not any less of a person because of your parents fighting. Now c'mon, let's get inside and have some eggnog, my dad spiked it." Lachlan tries to change the subject, wanting to get your mind off your parental situation.

"Alright, thank you." You sigh, giving him a smile before you two exit his car, walking into his house.

"(Y/N), hi honey! Merry Christmas!" Lachlan's mom says, a smile on her face as she pulls you into a hug.

"Merry Christmas! Sorry for showing up so last minute, I hope I'm not intruding." You laugh awkwardly as you pull away from the embrace.

"Nonsense, we love you here! I've been trying to get Lachlan to steal you all day anyways." She smiles, easing your small bit of worry.

"Thank you so much." You smile back, letting her lead you and Lachlan into the living room where his whole family is gathered.

"Merry Christmas, and welcome home, (Y/N)." Lachlan's brother little Mitch says jokingly, making you laugh.

"Merry Christmas, Mitch." You say back. "And Merry Christmas, Mr.Power! I hope it's alright that I'm here." You smile over at him, sitting next to Lachlan on the loveseat.

"Oh shut up, you know you're always welcome here. Anyone who can make my son start getting his grades up is welcome anytime." He teases Lachlan.

"Well, thank you." You smile appreciatively.

"Someone wanted to come and say hi." Lachlan's mom sings as she walks into the room, Prince rushing past her to get to you. He puts his paws on your kneecaps to be able to reach your face.

"Awe, Merry Christmas Prince!" You coo, petting the energetic dog. "Wow, this is his first Christmas here, yeah?" You realize, looking over at Lachlan.

"Yeah, and both of his parents are with him." Lachlan whispers to you, scratching Prince's chin. "I told ya my family wouldn't mind you being here." Lachlan whispers again, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he pulls you into him, dragging your attention away from the dog.

"Lachlan honey, can't you keep your hands off of her for one second?" Lachlan's mom sighs, walking into the room again with some gifts in hand.

"Sorry mom, it's not my fault she's so pretty." Lachlan smirks, pressing another kiss to your cheek.

"Stop, babe." You laugh, shrugging his arms off of you. "Sorry Mrs.Powers, I-"

"Nonsense (Y/N), that wasn't your fault. Besides, I was just giving him a hard time. Anyways, I found some bonus presents lying around and I think it's time we open them." She teases, placing the wrapped gifts beneath the tree before sitting beside her husband.

"Oh awesome, what else did you get me?" Mitch asks, jumping from his seat to the presents on the floor. "Most of these are for (Y/N)." He says, separating the gifts into piles.

"You really didn't need to get me anything." You sigh gratefully, blush on your face because you only got his parents a pair of tickets to a musical they've been dying to see.

"You're a member of this family! Besides, most are from lover boy, so take that up with him." Lachlan's dad laughs, making a blush appear on Lachlan's face.

"We already did our gift exchange, totally not fair!" You gasp, mock pushing Lachlan which makes him laugh.

"I couldn't help it, all of these things are stuff I thought you'd need." He mumbles, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm just going to ask that you open our envelope last, Lachlan's can be opened first. There's more of them anyways." His mom requests, pulling an envelope away from the other gifts.

"Alright, thank you guys." You smile appreciatively, moving from Lachlan to sit on the floor in front of the gifts. Lachlan joins you less gracefully, sliding off the couch to sit beside you.

"Here, start with this one." He says, handing you a gift perfectly wrapped in blue wrapping paper covered in snowflakes.

"As you can tell, Lachlan did not wrap any of those presents." His dad chuckles as you begin untaping the paper.

"Oh shut up dad, she didn't need to know that." Lachlan groans as you take the paper off, revealing a box. Inside the box is a purple neck pillow.

"Thanks, Lachlan. This will come into good use when I'm trapped in your basement and Prince is hogging your bed. You tease. You press a kiss to Lachlan's cheek, not wanting to indulge in almost any PDA in front of his family like this.

"You haven't even seen the best of it. C'mon, now open this one up." He hands you another, this one red with reindeer on it. You open this one just as carefully as the other, this one having a Calvin Klein winter jacket wrapped in it.

"Lachlan, this must have been expensive! Why would you buy me this?" You ask, feeling the faux fur lining the jacket.

"Don't worry about that, babe. Just keep unwrapping." He laughs, handing you another box that's wrapped oddly.

"This is the gift that made mom wrap the rest." Mitch chimes in, laughing at his brother's poor wrapping skills.

"Shut up, Mitch. At least I have a girlfriend to buy gifts for." Lachlan responds to his brother.

"Boys, cut it." There mom says to get them to stop bickering as you unwrap this gift, seeing a box of L.L Bean snow boots and a set with a hat, a scarf, and a pair of gloves in with the boots.

"Is there some superb sale on snow supplies going on that I didn't know about, Lachlan?" You laugh, unsure of how to respond to all of these winter themed gifts.

"It'll make sense soon." He laughs. "Now take the envelope from my mom, I'm sure you'll love their gift." He tells you.

"Alright." You sigh, getting up to grab the envelope from his mother before sitting back beside Lachlan. You open the envelope and see the cheesiest Christmas photo ever of Lachlan's family on a Christmas card, making you laugh at how picture perfect they are. "You guys are honestly a beautiful family, even in your matching Christmas sweaters." You laugh.

"Thank you, honey." His mom says genuinely, a smile on her face as she thinks about how next year, they're definitely going to invite you to take a photo for their card. You open the card, gasping as two plane tickets fall out into your lap.

"What even? No way." You gape, reading the destination of 'Alaska' written on both of them. "Are-Are we going to Alaska?" You ask, turning to look at Lachlan with a pure look of shock on your face.

"I don't know babe, would that make sense with the stuff I got for you?" He laughs, falling over when you surprise him with a hug.

"Oh my god, I've- I don't even know! What are we going to do in Alaska? It's beautiful there-" Lachlan cuts you off, pressing his lips against yours and pulling away laughing.

"You're too cute. Look at the paper that was in there too." He laughs, wrapping his arms around you as you look at the printed receipt from the airbnb, reading that you're staying in a cabin that has great views of the Northern Lights.

"Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Powers, but there's no way we can go on this, it must have cost you a fortune." You say, still in shock that they'd be this generous to offer you a paid for trip to Alaska.

"That's nonsense, you have to go! Who wouldn't want to go spend New Years up there? I hear the lights are a once in a lifetime thing, it's beautiful. I need you to go so you can tell me just how beautiful it is, I can't trust Lachlan with that." His mom laughs, standing from the couch and gesturing for you to hug her.

"Thank-Thank you so much. This is incredible, I don't even know how to thank you. It's a much better gift than the tickets I gave you guys." You say to her, embracing her immediately.

"I'd do anything for you, for everything you've done for my Lachlan. Thank you, for making him happier than I've seen him in a long time. We love you here and you're always, welcome, (Y/N). Merry Christmas!" She whispers so nobody around you hears what she's saying. You both pull away with tears in your eyes, laughing when you notice the state of each other.

"Okay, get over here kiddo." Lachlan's dad laughs, standing to give you a short hug. Enjoy it up there, okay? Take plenty of photos for the missus, I'm sure she'll want to frame one of the two of you." He laughs, wrapping his arm around his wife afterwards.

"That's a great idea!  Make sure you take a frame worthy photo, Lachlan or I'm going to be upset." His mom says, making you laugh.

"Hate to ruin the moment, but I'm pretty sure this box has AirPods in it. Am I allowed to open this yet?" Mitch asks, making everyone laugh at his impatience when it comes to presents.

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

My “best friend” and I hadn’t spoken in 51 days until Monday when she finally texted me, but things didn’t go so well. I tried to be mature and non-confrontational in my responses. She continued to be invalidating. So, I typed up the responses I wanted to say, but knew it wouldn’t be a good idea. I want to share them with someone, so I’ll share them with you. (I’ll include her text too so you can get what I’m referencing.)

“You’re making something out of literally nothing. I have no idea what the problem is and that’s frustrating as hell. R and I can’t be crutches for you. Yes, friends lean on each other. Yes, they’re there for each other in times of need. But not when there’s not even a problem. And not when it’s 100% every single problem or frustration or thing that upset you every single day. It’s not all about you, A. When is the last time you genuinely asked R how he was doing? Maybe that’s why he’s so frustrated. And I get it you’ve struggled with such a big change. You’re not the only one struggling with it. R struggles with it. He misses me. My family misses me. My coworkers and other friends miss me. And it’s hard for me to be away from home. Away from everything and everyone I’ve ever known. But nobody thinks about that. It’s all about how me leaving has made everyone else feel. It’s frustrating that you can’t get over your own feelings about this to the point that we haven’t talked in almost 2 months. I miss you too. You’re one of my very dear friends, and I need you to get yourself together a bit.”

1) Really? I’m “making something out of literally nothing”? Hmmm if it is bothering me and impacting my mental, emotional, and social health, then I’m pretty sure it’s more than “literally nothing.” Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter. Clearly it does or it never would have escalated to this point.

2) I’m sorry that you don’t understand what the problem is. Perhaps I did not do an adequate job of explaining it. I told you that I was struggling to find the right words and that it had been nearly impossible for me to do so. When I did try to explain myself, I tried to be as mature and non-confrontational as possible. As a result, I left out some things. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But I’ll get more into that later.

3) I never asked you and R to be there for me 24/7 for each and every little problem that comes up. I don’t call you for every little problem. Yes, I’ve called for “little” things before, but those were minor frustrations throughout my day to vent. And that wasn’t the norm. That was just making conversation while driving. Furthermore, this is about me and you. Neither of us has control over R so let’s just leave him out of this conversation entirely from now on. If R wants to work anything out with me, then he has my number and can choose to communicate if and when he decides he is ready. I don’t need you analyzing the situation and speaking on it when you likely don’t have a clue as to what is actually going on (on either end).

4) When did I ever say it was all about me? I will admit that I can be a tad selfish at times. I don’t like that trait about myself and I’m a work in progress. However, this is not one of those times. I reached out to you many times after you moved. We said we’d text more often. We said we’d talk on the phone all the time. We said we’d video chat regularly. That didn’t happen. When I would call, you’d be in a rush to get off the phone because you were busy. Fine, I get it. But, you never called me back later when you weren’t busy. You never initiated the phone calls. We never once video chatted. And our texts were less than they were when you lived here. So sorry if I was hurt and felt lonely that I didn’t seem to have my best friend around in any capacity. I went TWO months not hanging out with anyone other than my sister! I’m not like you and R. I don’t have other close friends to lean on for support when you guys are gone.

5) I said I didn’t want us to bring up R, but I will to respond to this. First off, I think you’re projecting. I don’t think you actually know the reason why R hasn’t spoken to me. Even if he is bothered by the fact that I haven’t genuinely asked him how he’s doing, I don’t believe that would be enough of a reason (by itself) for R to stop all communication with me. I think you’re saying that because you’re upset that I never asked you. Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t think to ask. I’m not a mind reader, A. From the texts you sent me, you seemed to be adjusting just fine. They all seemed positive, talking about new furniture and whatnot. Truthfully, I felt a little hurt that you were having such a great time without me. Also, it isn’t in my nature to ask something like that because if I’m feeling something and want my friends to know about it, I tell them directly. I don’t wait around for them to ask me how I’m doing and how I’m holding up. So yes, maybe I could have checked in on you. But it honestly did not cross my mind. I am sorry for that. However, communication goes both ways. You could have reached out to me. You could have expressed that you were struggling. You could have talked to me about how you were adjusting and how you were feeling. You didn’t.

6) Yes, I’m struggling. Yes, other people are struggling with this, too. Does that really minimize my struggle any? Just because others are also have challenges with adjusting to this new situation, does not make my own challenges any less meaningful, any less challenging, or any easier to deal with. It is a struggle for me, period. Everyone handles change differently. Just because I don’t process it the same way as someone else, does not mean I’m selfish. It does not mean that I need to get it together or grow up. It does not mean that you can invalidate my feelings or struggles. I am my own person and I will handle this change in my own way.

7) I’m sure it is hard for you being away from home. Had you reached out to me, I would have gladly talked to you about those feelings. We could have talked about our feelings and struggles together. But you didn’t make that known. Instead, you only ever communicated all the positives of your new life in _____. I already expressed that it was hard for me to hear that. I know you had to go to be with C and I still felt betrayed and abandoned that you left.

8) And this wasn’t just about my own feelings or my inability to “get over” them. I tried to say something. I recognize that I didn’t give you a lot to go off of with my last text. I knew it at the time. However, I wanted you to know that I wanted to say something. I didn’t want you to think that I was just done with our friendship. I was honestly expecting you to say you didn’t know what to say either and for us to just both move on from it (most likely never talking about that subject in the future). But you didn’t say anything. You stopped liking any of my posts. I thought you didn’t want to hear from me. I personally felt like the ball was in your court so I was waiting for you to say something. Even if you had simply said, “Okay, I’ll be here when you’ve figured it out” or something along those lines, then I would have put more effort into finding the right words to say to you. I gave up because I interpreted your silence as you not wanting me to say anything. Clearly my interpretation was wrong and for that I am sorry.

9) Wow. You need me to “get [myself] together a bit”? You’ve said a lot of invalidating things in this text and this is how you chose to end it? I’m trying to be non-confrontational and leave a path for us to build bridges again. And here you are, burning them down and blocking the road to prevent any more from being built. Personally, I think that I have handled this situation quite well all things considered, especially compared to how I would handled something like this in the past. I have come a long way and it hurts me that you can’t see that. You claim that I’m being the selfish one and yet you want me to completely hide my feelings/change them because they’re inconvenient for you. I simply want to be able to have a conversation with you without being invalidated. So tell me, who is the selfish one in all of this really?

Our conversation continued and I typed up additional pretend responses to her later texts, but this is already pretty long. I think you get the idea. I’m beyond hurt right now. And, at the same time, I’m just done trying. I feel like there’s nothing else for me to do. With her anyway. I almost called R today, but realized I had no clue what to even say to him. Besides, I should be more upset with him because I’m 99.9% sure he isn’t talking to me because of his new girlfriend, but more on that later.

Thanks for listening,

A Friend

[shocktoxic]

Gay

I've been having a lot of conversations lately about discrimination and injustice. Primarily about sexism, race and homophobia.I was originally going to either abstain from saying much for pride month because I didn't want to take away from everything else going on in the country. And honestly I feel pretty privileged in other ways. I'm a white male.But... I think just in the span of a month it seems like many marginalized groups of people have been especially... prominent and discrimination against them.I also don't want to be a poor me type of guy but yeah I have been discriminated against for being gay. In fact there's been a lot of times I have been and didn't even realize it until later in life. I regularly got told I seem like a pedophile in high school and even college. Due to certain mannerisms and the sound of my voice... and all pedophiles are skinny. One of my prime goals in life has always to be a dad. And most of my big career goals involve working with kids in some way. But having people say I act like a pedophile really stung a lot. I remember filming myself to see how I sound and see what mannerisms and all I thought was "wow I sound and act way gayer than I realized" which I now realize is what those people were getting at. I was regularly told "all gay people are pedophiles" growing up. By a variety of people. This caused a LOT of internalized hate towards myself even though I am most definitely not. I remember some learning about a teacher in my school being gay and hearing people say something along the lines of "why would they even want to be near kids? That's just disturbing what he might be doing." I was regularly told all gay people go to hell and need to be lined up and shot. Again by a variety of people. I remember being afraid if anyone found out they might start to talk and what might happen if anyone knew. My thoughts on my own sexuality are kind of hard to explain growing up. I only ever knew what it's like to be attracted to be men... And I'm someone who doesn't really like the idea of changing myself. I never have.. I like the idea of growing but not changing. But I also wanted to get married to a woman and have kids... So I was affiliated with ex-gay groups... though never fully involved/active in them. "Pray the gay away" types of things. I very dearly wanted to "fix" my sexuality. I read a lot of books talking about other peoples "same sex attraction struggles" and how to solve it... Most if it was "it doesn't go away you just learn to repress it." I was a camp counselor and often did skits for the campers. When you do that you often act more campy (no pun intended). I was meaning to be silly and what not and really didn't feel as though I was making weird voices... Just talking with more excitement. When it came to a day when parents came I got pulled aside and was basically told I sound too gay, though not in those exact words. Don't forget all the random bull crap stuff high school students give. I remember feeling like a lot of guys thought unless you were a jock you might be gay. In fact I remember hearing guys "if they don't play sports you have be afraid they might be gay"I remember guys freaking out over the possibility over the idea of another guy hitting on them. (and trust me NOBODY was hitting on them). Well before I came out I posted something where I implied I support gay people (I think it was a red equal sign picture) and I got messages from people who were upset I would support "the gays." and that it's not God's plan. I lost a few dozen friends. I came out in a note only meant to be seen by a handful of people. I still to this day have no idea who did this. But someone printed out the note and posted it around my college and handed it out to people. I was in the car with a friend when the dean of the school called me to tell me what happened and I remember just crying. She was dropping me off at my parents and I remember her pulling over on my street so I could finish crying before i came home. Fortunately nothing major come of it but it still was a pretty traumatizing experience for me. The most I can think of is either someone betrayed my trust or I left a USB drive the note was on in a school computer... Which I was using to write an essay. As I started to get more involved with other gay people; like friends and relationships, I often got told I need to be gayer. Pretty much in those exact words even. I was told I need to drink more and party more to be a proper gay guy. In fact... I probably have been told something along the lines of "I need to be gayer" by gay people than I have been told I'm too gay by straight people. I have for the most part always been me. I've always been comfortable being me. I push my comfort zone when I know it will be good for me and I say "no" when something interests me. I have heard gay guys, some who might even be reading this, glorify alcoholism and shame other gay guys who chose to be sober after struggles of alcoholism... and they do it in the name of "gay culture." I'm including this here because I think this is genuine homophobia even if it's from members of the community. Let people be themselves and not have to act a certain way to be proper... you do not represent your community. It's a community because there are many people apart of it. Not just your idea's. The last thing I want to say involves my parents... I never really know how to talk about my relationship. I don't want to say too negative of things as many people reading this know and like my parents, and they aren't bad people. I have had people who are around them often reach out to me saying they have a hard time listening to what my parents say (most people who can read this should know what I mean by they're very conservative/republican, both politically and religiously... So think of baptist, fundamental, evangelical denominations).I don't want to say anything negative right now and don't want to go into too much detail about my relationship, partly cause it's actually pretty fine right now. I will say certain comments about them though are actually pretty gut punching. Hearing people say "they'll come around, every parent does" or "my parents did, yours will too." that actually bothers me more than pretty much anything to here. First off you don't know my parents like I do. Most people who know my parents never would say that to begin with... So normally those saying it are people who didn't grow up in the same environment and have never met my parents (Actually every person who's said that). Chances are if you've said this to me in a deep conversation, I stopped talking to you. And you also said it in a tone where it seemed like you wanted me to argue or were shaming me. (I'm pretty sure anyone seeing this will not be seeing this note. There's also some people who regularly ask something along the lines of "has your relationship with parents gotten better?" This bothers me a lot. Mostly because for some reason those who regular ask me this seem to think this is like the only thing about me. And also because it's something that i see as "it is what it is" and I feel as though I've expressed this enough times. It's not really something I'm depressed about. So it feels like you're insinuating I've got a problem. It's normally people who don't know me very well who do this. Normally I'd suggest asking instead "how is your family doing" however... as I said most people who ask me that don't really know me well. and I don't think a single one of them has met nor even seen my family. The only reason I can think one would ask that is gossip or they fixated on one thing I said years ago and didn't bother to get to know anything else about me.