#Just holding babies was my favorite thing to do when I did my pediatric rotation
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The Baby Whisperer (i.e. more Healthcare Twilight)
@hermitdrabbles56 The night had slowed down considerably, and most of the children were asleep. Twilight found himself with nothing to do after he QC’d all the glucometers, and had started debating taking a walk around the unit when he heard the little one’s cry.
In one of the rooms was a baby fresh out of the PICU, generally healthy and stable and on her way out of the hospital. She had been a patient for over a month, long enough that the parents always went home at night, leaving their little one alone in the staff’s care.
Twilight looked at her vital signs and saw nothing amiss, nor was there anything particularly alarming about the nature of her cries, so he searched for less concerning causes. This baby had a strict diet due to her heart condition and a concern for aspiration, so he knew she likely wasn’t hungry seeing as she’d been fed on a scheduled basis. After checking her diaper next, he found it clean and fresh.
“What’s wrong, little pumpkin?” he asked softly, picking her up and holding her against his chest, her little head resting on his shoulder. Her cries began to taper out into whimpers, and he slowly started to walk back and forth in the room, cradling her in one arm while holding the ECG wires that were on her in the other so they wouldn’t pull on her little chest.
Twilight settled into a steady pace, back and forth, humming softly. The baby’s head was soft and warm on his cheek as he nuzzled her gently, and eventually her cries completely pestered out. Twi watched her heart rate settle a little as she calmed down, and he smiled, giving her a kiss.
He honestly lost track of how long he paced back and forth with her, but when he turned to walk back towards the door for the hundredth time, he saw Ilia standing in the doorway.
He stopped, mildly startled. “Hey.”
Ilia smiled, leaning her head against the door frame as she watched him. “Hey.”
Twi shifted awkwardly, whispering, “She got fussy.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Ilia replied simply, still smiling. “You’re good with babies.”
Twilight huffed a bit at that. “Anybody can be good at babies. You just have to know what to look for.”
The pair stood in silence a moment, a strange gentleness filling the air between them, and then Twilight broke eye contact, laying the little one back in her crib. “Good night, little pumpkin.”
He paused as he headed for the nurse’s station, glancing at Ilia as he walked by her. A faint blush colored her face, and she smiled and turned away. He felt jittery all of a sudden, and he shook his head, going back to work.
#lu in healthcare#lu twilight#lu ilia#Just holding babies was my favorite thing to do when I did my pediatric rotation#was studying and decided I wanted to have a study breaj#and stumbled onto an old post about CNA Twi#and decided the world needed more Soft Twi#writing
86 notes
·
View notes
Note
aaahh syd how are you doing lately? :) also, have you ever thought of what au^2 and the epileptic jesse au would be like combined? how do you think that would impact jesse’s parenting? also i must know: when did you get into brba? did you know you’d love it right away, or did it take a while? :)
katherine hiiiiiiii 🥺 ive been doing ok!! i love my pediatrics rotation even if this particular stretch has had insane hours and im looking forward to going home for a few days for thanksgiving to see my dog. and in my head, they've sort of always been combined, i guess because like. the jesse who lives in my head and my posts is just always epileptic even when its not pertinent to the narrative. but in terms of au squared explicitly, his epilepsy is weaponized a bit by his parents when they're making their bid to obtain custody of baby. not exactly in a malicious way and not to the extent that his addiction history is, but sort of as another point against him (he isnt even responsible enough to manage his own condition half the time, what if his negligence with himself causes harm to baby??, etc.) jesse himself initially doesnt really think about it because during the first few months of baby's life, he's getting a lot of help from his parents (especially when his house is um. Uhh. in season 1) and rarely experiences symptoms at the same time he's with baby until one afternoon when he's standing up to bottle feed her and it suddenly hits him like a fucking freight train, so abrupt and violent that he has to sit down. he seized last night from standing, which is to be expected when hes bad about taking his meds, but what if he had been holding baby then?? what if he had dropped her?? maybe he's a little more sensitive and paranoid about stuff since domingo and emilio and the whole tuco thing, but the idea feels so horrifically real that it makes him sick. this realization happens in conjunction with the events of "down" and it marks a huge turning point in how jesse views his responsibility as a parent. not just in terms of protecting baby and refusing to let his parents lay claim to her, but also in terms of managing his epilepsy. he may not care that much about his wellbeing and whether he's ok or medicated or healthy or whatever, but he Cares about baby and she is relying on him to be ok. if he gets hurt, she goes with him. and from that point on, at least in the au squared universe, he would be a lot more diligent with keeping up with his condition the best he can given the Circumstances.
and i watched brba for the first time in summer 2018 which was actually kind of a Very Bad Time for me personally, but getting invested in brba and all the genuinely exhilarating action was a lifeboat. at the time, i wasnt like current syd levels interested in it, but it was definitely my favorite tv show and i bought a brba poster for my dorm room and of course ran across campus to get home and watch "el camino" that fateful friday it was released. it wasnt until i started bcs in summer 2022 that the special interest aspect of it truly soaked in for me, i think because i was just at a very different point in my life. i knew i was going to med school at that point, which was the world's biggest burden lifted off my shoulders, and i felt relaxed enough to truly indulge in every understated detail of bcs. finishing bcs up to season 6A of course led to me rewatching brba for the first time and that sealed the deal of like "oh my god this is incredible. this world is so expansive and detailed and tragic" :') so it did take a while but Boy Howdy—
#sometimesafantasybillyjoel#ask#syd squeaks#how does it feel to know that ummm u so awesome and cool#breaking bad#jesse pinkman#baby ayuluk#au squared#epileptic jesse
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would you please write a fic about alex behaviour with children like the way he comforts them or help them through?
heart of gold
hey there! i’m not gonna lie when i say that this prompt took me forever to figure out, but when i did i was super excited!
this is mainly Alex centric with a bit of jolex added in (obviously). i hope you like it!
___
Of all people to notice Alex Karev’s strange ability to work well with children first, no one would’ve expected it to be Cristina Yang.
It was fairly early in their intern year, and both she and Karev were on the pediatrics rotation with Dr. Keith, someone who they could both agree was an arrogant son of a bitch that thought way too highly of himself for his own good.
They’d been trailing behind him like lost puppies all day, listening to him go on and on while he talked to the patient’s families, not even bothering to ask his interns any questions. He always thought that interns were a waste of time and space. He’s much rather have at least a third year resident on his service, but no such luck. They felt like crap and both wanted to kick the guy in the ass, but knew that the only thing that would do is get them knocked out of the program.
Six hours into their shift, the two were about to head to the cafeteria for a much desired lunch break when their pagers rang out, loud groans escaping their mouths at the noise they had come to detest the last couple of weeks.
All Alex really wanted was a slice of the hospital’s pizza. Granted, the crust tasted like cardboard, the cheese was old, and the sauce had no flavor, but he was craving it like crazy. He hadn’t gone out for groceries recently, so the only thing that was stocked in the shelves of his small apartment was cereal, some oatmeal, and off brand, nearly expired crackers that he had since he finished med school a couple of months ago. He had --for some unknown reason-- shoved them into a backpack that had made it with him as he traveled from Iowa to Washington, completely untouched.
With a huff he turns on his heel and makes his way to the pit where he was being paged, purposefully avoiding eye contact with the nurse he disrespected on his first day, along with the ones he’d slept with and hadn’t called back. He had a pretty large list of nurses who didn’t like him, and he didn’t feel like making that list any longer. Not today, at least.
Keith instructed him to go cast an arm for the seven year old in bed six, while Yang was told to go stitch up the cut on the little girl in bed two.
When Alex was done he passed by Yang’s area, watching as she was trying to calm down the little girl who couldn’t be more than five. The girl had tears streaming down her face and was nuzzled into the mom’s chest. The mother was glaring at the female doctor, who was saying something Alex could make out as “it’s not even scary, it’s just a needle.”
All he really wanted to do was get that damn pizza slice, and he had every intention of doing so, but seeing Yang be absolutely hopeless at getting anywhere with the little girl, he felt a bit of sympathy-- not for his fellow intern, but for the kid.
With a sigh he strides over to the bed, watching as the raven head’s mouth opens to speak, cutting her off immediately. “Let me handle this.” he says, reaching to grab the needle from her head.
Cristina glares at him, her expression turning into one of disgust. No way was she going to let Evil Spawn steal her patient, no matter how much she wished she’d be doing anything else.
“Karev-”
“--Yang!” he cuts her off sharply, plucking the needle from her hand and bumping her out of the way. Not the nicest thing to do, but she was practically terrifying the little girl. There was no way she would trust the doctor now.
His coworker scoffs, huffing a ‘fine’ before she goes to stand back and watch the scene, more than eager to watch the man fail. What good could he do? The girl was crying the second she had taken the disinfectant out.
Alex pulls up a chair, grabbing the attention of the little girl, who looks up from her mother’s chest for a second, only to dive back in right after.
“Hey kid, my name’s Doctor Karev. You mind telling me your’s?” he asks gently, slipping on a pair of gloves and flashing a signature crooked grin.
The girl makes eye contact warily, slightly unlatching from her mom's tight hold at the sight of the man’s smile. The other doctor looked super serious, it was kind of scary.
“Piper.” she answers, wiping the tears from under her eyes, the mom flashing him a grateful smile.
“Hey Piper.” he grins. “I see you got hurt up there. What happened?” he wettens the pad with disinfectant, keeping his eyes on the little blonde, knowing it would mean less questions if she was focused on his face.
“I was jumping on the couch and then I fell and hit the table.” she explains, Alex inspecting the cut to see if her story was reliable. He knew firsthand what it was like to come up with excuses for the bruises on your face, and wanted to make sure that she wasn’t just trying to cover up for something else that happened.
Luckily, the combination of the authenticity of the bruise and the level of trust the daughter had in her mom let him know that she really did do what she said. He knew at some point he was gonna need to not assume the worst in every parent that came in with an injured kid, but the wound was still fresh for him, and it would take some time to heal-- a long time.
“Well then Piper, I’m gonna need to clean your cut, but it’s gonna sting a bit. Is that okay?” he asks her, her green eyes widening, but eventually nodding. The doctor seemed nice enough.
He cleans the wound, turning back at the girl when he pulls out a needle, watching as her face begins to look panicked. “Hey, it’s okay.” he reassures her. His eyes dart around, noticing a backpack that sat in the corner, decorated with a multitude of princesses.
“Who’s your favorite princess?” he asks her, drawing Piper’s attention away from the scary needle in his hands.
“Belle.” she answers, a small smile making its way to her face. She loved talking about the princess’s and would chatter on about them anytime, any day, anywhere.
Alex smirks, letting out a sigh of relief. He knew all about Belle, since it was Amber’s all time favorite Disney movie. He’d seen it more time than he’d like to admit, and practically had the whole film memorized since he was fourteen.
“I like Belle too. She’s super brave huh? Never afraid of the Beast or anything.” he gives her a smile, watching as Piper’s face lights up, a wide, toothless smile splayed on her lips.
“Yeah! She’s so cool! She never lets the beast tell her what to do!” she exclaims, making Alex chuckle. She reminded Alex a lot of his little sister, with her dirty blonde hair, green eyes, and passion for princesses.
“Okay, well, right now I’m gonna need you to be super brave like Belle alright? And sit really really still, like she does when she reads a book. Can you do that for me Piper?” he smirks mischievously.
The little girl grins. She always wanted to be like her favorite princess, so she definitely wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to act like one. She already practiced around the house, so she was definitely going to practice in front of the nice doctor who looked like Prince Philip.
Cristina stood frozenly in the background, mouth opened so wide it could catch flies. Who knew Karev was so good with kids? She sure as hell didn’t.
She watches as he stitches up the cut, saying some reassuring words every time the girl flinches or squeezes her eyes shut. It was about twenty minutes later when he finished, Yang still standing there in shock. She sees him dress the wound, getting up from his chair and say, “All done. You did awesome Piper, but no more jumping on the couch, alright?” which earns him a nod. He flashes a friendly wink to the mom, who blushes as he walks away, forgetting entirely about Yang’s presence as he makes his way to the cafeteria to finally get his hands on the pizza slice he’s been drooling about for hours.
Maybe Evil Spawn wasn’t so evil after all.
~*~
Miranda Bailey was exhausted. Between Tuck and trying to begin a pediatric fellowship, all she wanted to do was lie down and sleep for god knows long. Tucker being difficult about their shared custody schedule seemed to only add to her fatigue and she swore on her life that she could crash on the nearest gurney and not wake up for three days straight.
It was with a heavy sigh she begrudgingly made her way back down to the NICU, remembering that she had left Karev there the day before after administering the kangaroo hold. She knew that by now he had probably dispersed, but she felt like checking on the little baby herself, just to make sure that the preemie was doing okay.
When she arrived at the NICU doors she could see a few faces that she recognized standing outside the window, talking in hushed conversations as they stared at the scene in front of them with imploring eyes, that is, until the one she knew as Reed rushed away-- a friend at her side, finishing their conversation quickly.
Miranda shakes her head. Though she had softened over the years, everyone still feared the inner ‘Nazi’ that came out from time to time. When she finishes gowning herself she makes her way into the room, stopping in front of the shirtless, sleeping figure on a chair. Surprised was the only word she was able to come up with, though it seemed like an understatement of the century. Alex Karev was sitting there, with a sleeping baby curled contently against his chest, her tiny breaths in sync with the man who was holding her.
She shakes her head, stopping a few feet from where the man sat. “Karev?” she says, making him open his groggy eyes, blinking as he does so to look around for the source of the noise, relaxing when he knows that no monitors are going off and the baby on his chest is still very much alive.
“Did you stay here all night?” she asks softly, watching as he looks out the window to see that it was in fact daytime, not evening like it was before he’d fallen asleep.
He takes another look at the baby in his arms, “Um, yeah. I… I guess I did.” he trails off, his voice rough since he barely was awake.
“Go home, get some rest. The nurse will take over for you.” Miranda scolds. These interns (who were now residents) were like her children, her babies, and as much as the sight warmed her heart, she needed her babies to be well rested. She couldn’t have them falling asleep in the middle of surgery.
He unintentionally pulls the tiny bundle of pink a bit closer, “No. Uh, I- I’m okay. I’m… good here.”
She lets out a small, barely there laugh, but not at him. She’d seen the soft side of Alex Karev, but it was few and far between. Everyone knew that the rough exterior he put up was just to stop himself from getting hurt, but this… this side was new. She had never seen him more vulnerable than he was right now, the baby sleeping so soundly on his chest that it seemed like no amount of noise could disturb her.
“Well, you'd be good in Peds, you know that?” she flicks her gaze from him to the baby. “You get invested. You have good instincts. You stick to your instincts,” she continues, Alex looking down at the child, making some kind of face she wouldn’t know how to describe.
“You’d be good in Peds, Karev.” she walks away, leaving Alex alone with his thoughts.
Maybe, just maybe, kids would be the one thing that would allow Karev to show everyone who he really was.
~*~
Alex Karev had sort of snuck up on Arizona Robbins. When he said that he was interested in Peds, she truly thought that he was joking, just trying to say something to either get a laugh out of her or annoy her.
She didn’t know much about Karev, all she really knew was what she had heard from the nurses gossiping loudly at their stations, and the occasional input from Callie here and there. All she really knew was that he had been married to Stevens, who had cancer, then they later got divorced, and before he was married he had earned himself quite a bit of a ‘man-whore’ reputation, nearly as bad as Mark’s.
Arizona was weary about Karev, so imagine her surprise when she saw his face light up as a kid called him Doctor Alex for the first time.
The first time she’d ever had the young man on her service she knew that he was cold, arrogant, and a bit too cocky for his own good. He was overall an asshole, and to say Robbins wasn’t happy to have him on her service was an understatement. Bailey had said something to her recently about Karev, but that didn’t lessen her lack of enjoyment about his upcoming arrival on her floor.
When the man did arrive, he was seven minutes late for rounds, dumping an empty cup of hospital bought coffee in the nearest trash can. He flashed her a crooked grin, apologizing for his tardiness, but not explaining why.
Arizona sighed, rolling her eyes discreetly. She wasn’t normally a strict teacher, but one thing she didn’t like was when her residents were late. The lives of tiny humans were in their hands, no second could be wasted-- much less seven minutes.
“Welcome to peds Doctor Karev…” She starts off, telling him about how pediatrics wasn’t wiping kid’s noses and cuddly bunnies all day long. Peds was hardcore, only for the elite.
She stops outside room 414, turning back to Karev and giving him as stern of a glare as she could muster. “Remember Karev, smile, engage. These are kids we’re talking about here.”
Alex rolls his eyes. He knew he wasn’t the nicest guy. He was an ass, a douche, and definitely not the man most women would be proud to take home to their parents. But if there was one thing he did know, it was kids. He practically raised one for god’s sake.
“Got it Robbins.” he huffs, fixing his posture as the two walk into the room, where a little boy sat on his bed, playing with his colorful toys that sat on his lap, anxious parents sitting in chairs beside him.
Arizona flashes a grin to the family, directing her attention back to the boy. “Hi Nico, how are we doing today?”
Nico shrugs, mustering a half-hearted smile. “I’m okay.” he answers, more focused on his toys than the doctors in the room.
“Well that’s good,” she jots something down on her chart. “This is Dr. Alex. He’s gonna be another one of your doctors, okay Nico?”
“Doctor Alex?” the boy confirms, making Arizona look up from her chart and Alex look back at the boy.
She saw it then. The way his eyes lit up at the name, how a crooked grin unconsciously made its way to his lips. He had it. The peds glow.
“Hey dude.” Alex smirks, trying to hide is bubbling excitement. He liked that name, ‘Doctor Alex’. It was different from Karev. It was lighter, easier, it sounded right. Doctor Karev was too… but Doctor Alex? Doctor Alex sounded pretty great.
Arizona bites her lip as she watches her resident and the patient interact, trying to keep her smile at bay.
There it is. There’s the real Alex Karev.
~*~
Jo Wilson sat in the intern’s locker room, knotting up the ties of her scrub pants as she listened to the chief resident rattle of names of who the intern’s were with that day. She was more than thankful for a new service, since Medusa was downright terrifying, but she was really hoping that she wouldn’t be assigned to-
“--Wilson you’re with Doctor Karev on Peds.”
Shit.
She was sure Karev was a great doctor, I mean, he wouldn’t be here-- at one of the best hospitals in the world-- if he sucked.
But she’d already heard enough about Karev to say that she didn’t like him, not one bit. So far she’d witnessed Leah crying into her locker about why he wouldn’t answer her calls, nurses complain to each other about why he hadn’t texted, and other interns chattering at bars about why he acted like he didn’t know them when they saw each other again.
In conclusion, he was a grade-A jackass who slept with any female that had two legs, and she was certainly not going to be the next one on his (extensive) list of conquests. No sir-ee.
With a huff she ties her hair back, giving Stephanie a deadpan look after she whispers a “Good luck. Make sure not to sleep with him.”
There was no way she would be sleeping with Karev, not in a million years. She had heard so much from others that she could already paint a picture-
Ew, no. That’s gross.
Either way, there was nothing he could ever say to make her fall in bed with him. Nothing at all.
…
She was exhausted. Karev was an ass. An ass who didn’t hate her, but was still an insufferable asshole. Jo stood at the nurses station, leaning over the counter as she filled out her charts, scribbling down her notes angrily. He made her angry.
Though she had to admit, seeing him all freaked out over her (fake) crying was pretty hilarious.
“--Wilson!” she hears her name being called by her asshole of a superior. She turns around, plastering such a faux smile on her face that she felt nauseated just knowing that it was there.
She’s about to respond when Doctor Grey comes running up to him, shoving a toddler in his arms, taking him by surprise.
“Alex. I need you to watch her.” the blonde pleads, making him scrunch his eyebrows.
“Mer I-”
“Please.” Meredith begs, Alex giving her a crooked grin as he takes ahold of his niece. If there was one thing that could make Alex Karev smile without even trying, it was Zola Grey Shepherd, a two and a half year old little fireball.
A large grin comes across the little girl’s face as she looks at the man in front of her. “Unca Lex!” she exclaims, clasping her tiny hand on the side of his face.
“Hi Ms. Zozo,” he smiles, Jo not even noticing how the corner’s of her mouth quirked up at the sight. This was not the Doctor Karev she’d been with these past few hours, this was someone completely new. This was… Alex?
Meredith sighs. “I have on OB appointment, and normally we’d take her, but she’s just been so fussy lately, and when I tried to take her to daycare she threw a fit-”
Alex cuts her off, “Mer, it's fine. I got her.” he reassures her, pretending to bite the little girl’s finger as it came close to his face, causing her to let out a loud squeal.
“Okay but-”
He rolls his eyes at the blonde, “Mer, go. She’ll be completely fine.” he smirks. “We all know that she likes me better than you and Shep combined so…”
Meredith hits him on the shoulder before she turns and waddles down the hall, leaving Alex with a toddler in his arms that was giggling as he tickled her, and an intern who wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing in front of her.
It was obvious that he had some skills with children, he was a pediatric surgeon for crying out loud. But nobody told her he was this good with kids.She watched as a large smile came across his face, a laugh escaping his mouth at Zola’s squeals and giggles.
Maybe Alex Karev wasn’t as much of an asshole that she thought he was.
~*~
Nothing was more perfect to him than the sight in front of him.
Never in a million years did he ever think that he would get to where he was now.
Alex sat next to his wife as they stared down at the little baby on her chest, her pink cheeks puffed up while her eyes were tightly squeezed closed as she tried to sleep. She was so perfect. So, so perfect.
A daughter.
He had a daughter.
A little bundle of pink that weighed a whole six pounds, seven ounces. Yet somehow, she had managed to take his heart out of his chest and hold it in her tiny, tiny palm.
Nothing could’ve prepared him for how much he already loved his little girl. He’d heard about it, read about it. He’d been in the room when parents met their child for the first time. But this? This was a whole new level of love, something he wasn’t prepared for in the slightest.
He watched as Jo ran her thumb delicately over the baby girl’s cheeks, tears streaming down Jo’s face. It had been all of two minutes since they welcomed their daughter into the world and she hadn’t stopped crying since.
Although he wasn’t crying, his throat was built up as he stared at his perfect little girl. A full head of wavy light brown hair sat on top of her head, her rosy lips pouted as she nestled closer to her mother’s chest.
Perfect.
That’s the only word that could describe the tiny figure that laid before him.
He rubs his pinky finger over her little fist, watching as it unfolds and grabs it with all of her strength.
He can feel his heart physically clench, never before had something felt as right as feeling his little girl’s palm around his finger.
Alex grins, placing a small kiss on the top of Jo’s head, a silent way of saying so many different things at once.
Thank you.
You did so well.
You’re so strong.
She’s so perfect.
I love you.
Thank you for marrying me.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you.
Jo readjusts the baby on her chest, bringing her up higher for them to see.
She lets out a watery smile, her bottom lips trembling as she stares at the tiny girl that she would do anything for. “Hi sweet girl.” she whispers, not even bothering to wipe the water droplets that cascaded down her cheeks.
Alex lets out a crooked grin, a small laugh escaping his throat in disbelief. This perfect creation was his daughter. How was that even possible?
“Welcome to the world Lorelei Karev.” he whispers, unable to focus on anything except the tiny girl that he would give up the sun, the moon, and the stars for.
“We love you so much.” Jo speaks softly, looking up at her husband, the love of her life, her eyes saying more than her mouth ever could.
Thank you.
I love you.
She’s so perfect.
Thank you for her.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you.
They share a small kiss, reveling in the moment they knew they would remember for the rest of their lives.
It was then he defied all odds. Overcame all of his fears. He wasn’t going to be like his dad, what everyone told him he was going to be. He was going to be an amazing dad, and he knew it.
As it turns out, kids truly were the one thing that could show everyone who the real Alex Karev was after all.
#jolex#jolex fic#jolex fanfiction#jolex fanfic#alex karev#jo wilson#jo karev#alex karev fanfic#alex centered fic#arizona robbins#miranda bailey#cristina yang#meredith grey#merlex#jo x alex#alex x jo#greys anatomy#greys#jolex babies#jolex endgame#greys abc#greys anatomy fanfiction#greys anatomy fanfic#camilla luddington#justin chambers#payton writes
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
Peds Rotation
Today, a (quick) exploration of how sometimes, really, doing that thing that terrifies you can be so much more than cathartic. (And this is quick because I have as long as Bubble Guppies entertains the squirmy toddler held aloft in my lap by my right arm/hand while typing with my left to get this out).
So my first pediatric rotation day. It came the day after a horrible orientation (literal ugly tears over a bitchy professor heightened by my own hormone overload, to summarize) and I was dreeeeeeading peds overall because how does one handle sick kids well? I love kids, its BECAUSE I enjoy them that seeing them at their worst was not what I wanted to do. Mostly I did not want to do NICU or the cancer ward. I think that needs very little explanation. So of course my first day assignment was the NICU. I drove home after orientation, ugly crying most of the way (it was bad enough even my shuffle tried to cheer me up with Don't Stop Believing), got home, ugly cried some more, and then just hoped and prayed my hormones normalized some by the next day because the only way I could imagine the NICU as being worse would be if I was unable to hold myself together, both in front of other nurses and in front of the parents. No one needs the little nurselette who can't care for a patient because she's too busy crying.
Imagine my surprise when my experience was possibly my favorite of all our rotations so far. Yes, it helped that my estrogen levels evened out I'm sure, but I was just amazed by how much hope there was and how much love on that unit. I expected to feel a lot of pity and horror over these very small, very sick babies. Instead, I felt the emphasis of celebrating what can be done and the baby steps along the way. It was absolutely wonderful.
If given an option, I know I would have rotated out of peds before I saw any patients. I feel I was shown that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for, as well as the fact that I still don't know everything about how I'll experience different things. I'm still pretty set on L&D (just another month!) but I see another area of nursing that I could really like, and while that is great, I am actually finding more and more that this means I really am in the right place in nursing school. I didn't really doubt that, but I won't turn my nose up at reinforcement!
6 notes
·
View notes