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metallicbluemorpho · 1 month ago

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The Letter in Once-ler's Pocket (A Once-ler Fanfiction)

So for my next trick....err I mean fic, I'm going to post an old Normaler one-shot I did called the Letter in Once-ler's pocket. This fic is based on the story The Letter In The Wallet by Arnald Fine, and plays with the whole "Ted is Once-ler's grandson" theory.

fandom: The Lorax, The Once-ler Fandom

relationship: Normaler, Norma/Once-ler (when they are older)

word count: 2407

rating: G

warnings: None

Summary:

Ted finds a letter written by Once-ler's long-lost love. A letter that also reveals a shocking secret. After this discovery, Ted sets out the reunite the Once-ler with his beloved. Based on the story The Letter in the Wallet by Arnold Fine.

Notes:

I came across the story “The Letter in The Wallet” some time ago. I highly recommend the original story. It's a very unique and touching love story. I'm not even a huge romance person but I liked it. For some reason, the story reminded me of the popular fan theory regarding The Once-ler and Norma, so I wrote this one shot. I hope you enjoy the story and please consider checking out my other Once-ler fanfics). Thank you so much for reading. Important Note: Because Ted's Mom (Mrs.Wiggins) does not have a first name in the movie, I have named her Jenny after her voice actress (Jenny Slate) in this story.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny with a slight breeze. In the outskirts of Thnnedville, the Once-ler and Ted were watering the truffula tree saplings near the Once-ler's Lurkim.

“Hey Ted, I need to refill my watering can. I'll be right back.” Once-ler told Ted.

Ted nodded and waved back in reply. As Once-ler turned to head back to the Lurkim, a piece of paper fell out of the hole in his robe pocket, and began fluttering in the breeze. Ted saw the piece of paper and quickly caught it. He was about to head back to the Lurkim to give the paper back to Once-ler, when Ted noticed a familiar name written on it. It was signed by someone named Norma.

Ted hadn't intended to read it, but after seeing that name, curiosity overcame him and Ted unfolded it. He discovered that it was an old letter that read:

My Dearest Once-ler, After everything that has happened, with the trees gone and Thneed inc shut down, my mother has forbidden me from seeing you ever again. You took such great care to keep our family out of the limelight, to the point where the public never knew about our marriage and our daughter. My mother feels as though it would be better and safer if it stayed that way. Even if that means our little Jenny will never know about you. My heart is broken. Despite everything, I wish we could still be together. While I am greatly saddened by the loss of the trees, please know that I still love you nonetheless and I always will. -Norma

Ted's eyes widened in disbelief. Jenny was his mother, and Norma was his Grammy. This meant that the Once-ler was his grandfather! Right at that moment, Once-ler returned. When he saw Ted reading the letter, he dropped his watering can in shock.

“Where did you get that?” Once-ler asked.

“It fell out of your pocket.” Ted quickly returned the letter to him. “I'm sorry Mr. Once-ler, I didn't mean to read it but I saw the name Norma and I-”

“You know Norma?” Once-ler interrupted him.

“Yeah I know her, she's-” Ted saw Once-ler's expression and stopped himself. He figured that Once-ler wasn't ready for the whole truth yet.

“How is she? Is she just as spunky as she once was?” Once-ler asked earnestly.

“She's fine, and just as spunky as when you knew her. My mo- I mean Jenny's doing fine too.” Ted replied.

“Let me tell you something Ted.” Once-ler sighed. “When that letter came, my life ended. After that, I knew that I had truly lost everything. I loved them both so much.” Once-ler began to cry.

“Would you like to see them again?” Ted asked.

“More than anything Ted, but Jenny doesn't even know about me and I doubt Norma would ever forgive me after what I've done. I don't think they would ever want to see me again.” Once-ler replied.

“I think maybe they would.” Ted tried to reassure him “After all Gram-I mean Norma was the one who encouraged me to come out here to see you. She was the one who told me about the fifteen cents, the nail, and the great great great grandfather snail. She was also the one who bought you the marshmallows.

“She really did?” Once-ler's eyes widened in excitement.

“Yeah. If I go ask her if she wants to see you and she says yes, will you come back to Thnnedville with me to see her and Jenny?”

Once-ler hesitated for a moment. “Yes, but only if she wants to, and if she doesn't then I understand. Take the letter with you and show it to her. Tell her I've kept it with me always. Tell her that I've always loved her and Jenny, and how much I miss them.” Once-ler looked up at Ted, hopeful but fearful.

“I sure will Mr. Once-ler.” Ted put the letter safely in his own pocket, hopped on his scooter, and made his way back to Thneedville. He could hardly wait to tell Grammy Norma what he had discovered. Ted reached his house and excitedly burst through the door.

“Grammy! Grammy Norma!” he shouted “Where are you?”

“I'm in the kitchen Ted.” Grammy Norma replied. She smiled when she saw her grandson enter the room.

“Did you just get back from The Once-ler's Lurkim?” Grammy Norma asked “How is he doing anyway? Hopefully things are better for him now that the trees are coming back.” she sighed.

“Yeah, he's doing fine,” Ted answered. “Anyways, I discovered something.” He pulled out the letter.

“Ted, Where did you get this?” Grammy Norma gasped, she recognized the letter instantly.

Ted handed her the letter and began to explain. “It fell out of the Once-ler's pocket. I picked it up and noticed your name was on it so I began to read it and...”

“So you know the truth.” Grammy Norma interrupted.

Ted nodded

“Does he know?” she asked.

“I told him that I know you and Mom, but he doesn't know that you're my Grammy and that Jenny is Mom. I didn't think he was ready to hear that part.” Ted answered, “Anyways, he told me to tell you that he always kept that note with him, and that he always loved you and Mom and that he misses you.”

“He did? He does?” Grammy Norma asked Ted with tears in her eyes.

“Yes,” Ted told her. “He said that he wants to see you and Jenny more than anything, but that he doesn't think you will forgive him.”

“Oh, Ted.” Grammy Norma sighed. “Come here, I want to show you something.”

She led Ted up to her room. Grammy Norma reached into a drawer in her dresser and pulled out a scrapbook, one that Ted had never seen before. She sat down on her bed, opened the scrapbook, and gestured for Ted to come over. When Ted saw the pictures inside, he stared in awe. The pictures were of a much younger Once-ler, along with other pictures of Once-ler and Norma together. Ted couldn't help but notice how much he and the Once-ler looked alike.

“He was so tall and handsome.” Grammy Norma sighed

“Grammy, Do you still love him?” Ted asked.

“Of course I do.” Grammy Norma replied “I meant what I wrote and I still do. Despite what had happened, I've never stopped loving him. More than anything I wish we could have been a family together.”

“So would you like to see him again?” Ted asked, “Maybe it' isn't too late, maybe we could still be a family.”

Grammy Norma paused thoughtfully for a moment, then finally spoke. “I'd love to see him again, but I'm not sure if it's possible now. Oncie felt so guilty about what had happened, he was so ashamed, that he never wanted to be seen again. He probably doesn't want to come back to town, especially after it has been so long. I understand. I'm just glad you were able to meet him Ted, and that the trees are back. That makes me so happy.”

“So you forgive him Grammy?” Ted asked “He's afraid that you're still mad at him.”

“I forgave him a long time ago.” Grammy Norma answered, “I knew how sorry he felt, unfortunately, it seems as though Oncie never forgave himself.”

“I'll go back and talk to him.” Ted got up and ran back to the kitchen. He grabbed the letter and headed for the door.

“Ted wait.” Grammy Norma called out to Ted from the top of the stairs.

“Yes, Grammy?” Ted looked up

“You can ask him, but don't get your hopes up.” Grammy Norma told Ted. “Tell Oncie that I forgive him and I still love him, but that I understand if he doesn't want to come back.”

Ted nodded “I will Grammy.” he hopped back on his scooter and made his way back to the Lerkim. Ted ran up the porch, rang the doorbell, and waited. Ted no longer had to worry about any booby traps, the Once-ler had removed them some time ago.

Once-ler opened the door and smiled nervously when he saw Ted.

“You're back already?” he asked.

Ted handed the letter back to Once-ler “Yep and I talked to Norma. She says that she forgave you a long time ago and that she's always loved you and that she misses you.

“She did? She does?” Once-ler asked.

Ted nodded “So do you want to go back?” he asked Once-ler “Grammy Norma says that she would love to see you again, but that she understands if you don't want to come back.”

“I don't know...” the Once-ler began. Then his eyes widened when he realized something. “Wait did you say Grammy Norma?”

Ted's eyes also widened when he realized what he had said. “Yes. Norma is my Grammy.”

“Norma is your...Grammy?” Once-ler asked in disbelief

“Yes, and Jenny is my Mom,” Ted replied.

“If Norma is your Grammy and Jenny is your Mom then that means....” the Once-ler paused “....that means you're my grandson!” he realized.

Ted nodded and waited for a moment while the Once-ler processed this information.

“I can't believe it!” Once-ler exclaimed “Though now that I think about it you do look a bit like I did when I was younger.” he chuckled.

Ted also laughed. “Yeah, Grammy Norma showed me the pictures. She told me you were so tall and handsome.”

The Once-ler began to blush at Ted's comment. “Really?” he asked Ted.

“Yeah really.”

“Well, I guess that settles it then.” Once-ler took a deep breath, pushing back any remaining nervousness he still had. “I want to go back and see Norma, and Jenny too.”

“Then let's go.” Ted headed for his scooter, with the Once-ler following behind him. “Are you ready?” he asked Once-ler, as they sat down on the scooter.

“As ready as I'll ever be,” Once-ler answered.

At that, Ted turned on the scooter and sped off towards Thneedville. Once-ler sat behind him, holding on to Ted with one arm and holding onto his hat with the other. Once-ler gazed in awe at his surroundings, it had been many years since he had seen Thneedville. The town looked amazing, and now with live trees, it looked even better. Ted finally stopped in front of his house and he and the Once-ler got off the scooter and headed up to the door.

“Let's ring the doorbell.” Once-ler suggested. “I don't want to barge in.”

“Ok.” Ted agreed as he pressed the button. Once-ler took another deep breath as he and Ted waited.

It was Ted's Mom, Jenny who opened the door. When she saw Ted with the Once-ler she looked confused.

“Ted who is this?” she asked.

“Mom, this is the Once-ler.” Ted explained “Grammy Norma told me about him. He's the one who told me about the trees and gave me the seed so I could bring them back.”

“I thought the Once-ler was just some story about a green-armed faceless recluse that lived in an Lurkim.” Jenny replied, now even more confused.

“Erm not exactly.” Ted laughed “Actually he's- let Grammy explain it to you. She's the one who knows him.”

Jenny, completely dumbfounded, turned to Grammy Norma who was sitting on the couch. “Mom do you know this guy?” she asked.

Norma turned towards the door and adjusted her glasses.

“Norma, it's Once-ler. Do you remember?” Once-ler asked

“Once-ler? Oh, Oncie! It's you!” Norma exclaimed

Once-ler slowly walked over to Norma, who quickly embraced him. Both of them started crying. “I missed you so much,” Norma whispered.

“I missed you too. I'm so sorry.” Once-ler replied. They both sat back down on the couch. Holding hands, and gazing into eachothers tear filled eyes.

“Can somebody please explain to me what the heck is going on?” Jenny shouted

“Jenny dear. This is the Once-ler,” Norma explained “He was my husband and your father, and he's Ted's grandfather.”

Jenny's eyes widened in shock as she sat down on the armchair. “How is that possible?” she asked “You told me my father died.”

“In a way I did.” Once-ler replied sadly “After the trees fell and I received that note, my life basically ended. I spent the remainder of my existence haunting that Lurkim like a ghost.” He looked down at the floor sadly as he handed Jenny Norma's letter.

While Jenny read the letter, Ted came over to Grammy Norma and whispered something in her ear. Norma nodded and Ted headed upstairs. He came back down with Grammy Norma's scrapbook. After his mom finished the letter. Ted handed her the scrapbook. She stared at the pictures in shock.

“Why didn't you ever tell me about him? What happened?” she asked Norma

It was the Once-ler who answered her. Norma continued to hold his hand as he told his daughter the same story he once told Ted about the trees. When Once-ler finally finished his story, Norma explained the story behind the note. Afterward, they all sat in silence for several moments before the Once-ler began to cry.

“I destroyed everything, and then I lost everything.” he sobbed “I know I don't deserve it and it's probably too late, but if you could ever possibly forgive me, I'd love to start a new life with you all.”

“I've already forgiven you and I've never stopped loving you.” Grammy Norma pulled Once-ler into another hug. ��I'd love nothing more than to be with you again.”

Jenny, although still processing the news, had always longed to meet her father. She wiped away her own tears and nodded. “Yes, I'd love to have you in my life Dad.”

“Alright!” Ted cheered “Welcome to the family Grandpa!”

A few weeks later, a very special event took place at a chapel in Thneedville. Norma and the Once-ler had renewed their wedding vows. Ted stood next to the Once-ler as his best man, Jenny and Aubrey stood next to Norma as her bridesmaids, and it was none other than the Lorax who was the ring bearer.

“I'm really happy for you beanpole.” The Lorax whispered as he handed the couple the rings.

“Thank you,” Once-ler whispered in gratitude, before turning back to face his beloved bride.

As the Lorax watched the ceremony unfold, he smiled, grateful that along with the trees, the Once-ler was able to return and begin life anew.

#onceler #onceler fandom #fanfiction #once ler #the lorax #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #normaler #onceler fanfiction #norma wiggins #norma

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saltiestcoconut · 1 year ago

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Aiyusa prompt request: Would it be ok to request a sort of related ficlet to ur prev fic? I liked the AU one where Ai was a dragon living on top of a tower, and would love to request for some cuddly fluff about them.

/dabs eyes damn its been over a year since I've written that little fic and the fact that there's still people who think about it????? Makes me so happy?????? Aaaaaaaaaaaa thank you nonny wjkdjsjdjd

You asked for cuddly fluff is story time close enough? It is now

I hope you enjoy~

The first thing Ai sees is a firefly sitting on light blue hair. Then, a face peaked out from the window ledge and climbed onto the window sill. The image of a firefly nestling on Yusaku's hair is adorable, and Ai keeps his eyes firmly on Yusaku in the hopes of searing the image onto his mind.

The firefly flies off, Yusaku's wild movements disturbing the insect as he climbs through the window. Ai leans against the window sill as Yusaku moves his legs to give Ai space.

Ai dangles an arm and reaches downwards to pluck one of the white flowers. Clawed fingers gently pluck the flower's petals one at a time and send them tumbling down from the window. He's not looking at Yusaku, but from this close, he can tell Yusaku is taking a moment to catch his breath.

"Why does the vine shrivel up in the morning?" Yusaku asks, eyes watching the flutter of the discarded petals.

"Hm? The vine dies during the day? I suppose that means it's tied to my magic, then, it's stronger at night."

"You… you don't know the vine is dead in the morning?"

"No. That's when I sleep. I would be way too bored if I didn't." Ai turns to Yusaku, "what about you? Do you sleep during the day?"

Yusaku presses his head against his knees. "Does it matter?"

Ai frowns. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't. Ai has been alive long enough to know such details aren't important.

Ai grabs Yusaku's ankles and yanks them fast enough for Yusaku to nearly curl into himself. His legs jerk with the instinct to pull from Ai's grip, but he has no space to pull away. "What are you—"

"Just because something isn't important doesn't mean it's not worthy of attention," Ai says firmly. He can hear Yusaku's heart pounding. Yusaku raises his head to look at Ai. "I think every aspect of you is worthy of my attention."

Yusaku's eyes darted away.

Ai lets go of Yusaku's ankles and drifts off to the other side of the small room. He carries his bench and sits on it to stare up at Yusaku. "Do you like romance, Yusaku?"

"Romance? Can't say, it's not like I've tried to form a relationship with someone."

"How about romantic stories? Have you read any?"

"No. I've been too busy to read for pleasure."

Ai pouts. "Then make one up. Tell me a story, Yusaku."

Yusaku presses his lips together and furrows his brows. "Okay, sure. Once upon a time there was a tyrant king who ruled over a city with an iron fist. No one could do anything in secrecy because the king had a security force that kept watch over everyone. The king was married to a beautiful princess who was beloved for her compassion and radiant smile. She became so popular that she was eventually called the sun as she was a beacon of light for the poor people."

"But inside the castle, the princess was just as unhappy as the rest of the subjects. She loathed the king as much as everyone else did but couldn't do anything against the king. She wasn't alone, though, because she had someone else she loved— the head knight who led the king's security force. Through their time together, the princess fell madly in love with the knight, and they exchanged a vow. The princess would always remain by the knight's side, and in exchange, the knight would always keep watch over her."

"Even if the knight and the princess couldn't be together, they forced themselves to be content with what they had, even if the king was mad with jealousy."

Ai tilts his head. "If the king was so jealous, why didn't he kill the knight? Or why didn't the knight kill the king? If he loves the princess that much, he should just take her."

"Maybe the king genuinely loved the princess and didn't want to make her sad. Maybe he just wanted to show off his power and didn't think the knight was a big enough threat to deal with."

Ai looks thoughtful. "But—"

"Are you going to let me continue the story?"

"Sorry! Please continue."

"So, um… where was I?"

"The king was jealous."

"Right. So the king was mad with jealousy and sent the knight away on a fake diplomatic trip. When the knight got back, the princess had a child and a plan to escape. She asked the knight to escape with her, and the knight agreed to help her. On the night they agreed to sneak up, the king found out about their plan and showed up to confront the lovers right before leaving the city behind."

Ai rests his head on Yusaku's belly and loosely wraps his arms around his abdomen and upper thighs. He watches him with vivid golden eyes, more reptilian than human. "And then what happened?"

Yusaku blinks, all previous thoughts gone in an instant. "And then they died. The end."

Ai's jaw drops. "Wait, what? They died? Just like what? Did the king kill them?"

"Sure, why not."

"That's a terrible ending, Yusaku! You promised me romance!"

"There's nothing more romantic than dying alongside the one you love. That way neither of them have to live without the other."

"Yusaku, that's so sad. You're awfully pessimistic."

"Perhaps you're too much of a romantic."

"Sorry for believing in love!"

Yusaku's heart pounds against his chest— had been for a while. He grabs Ai's arms and peels them off of him. "I have to go."

Ai straightens his posture and pouts. "Already? You just got here!"

"It's getting late."

Ai frowns, but then sits with his back turned to Yusaku. If he tries to force Yusaku to stay, there's a chance he won't return. "You’re right."

"I’ll see you tomorrow?"

The sound of metal dragging against the stone floor. Ai rests his head against his knees. "I’ll be here," comes his muffled reply.

Awkward silence swiftly drapes itself between the two of them. Ai doesn't want to watch Yusaku go, so he keeps his head on his knees. It's an awkward position, he's still not used to being able to curl into himself this much. Yusaku gives his head a few awkward pats, and for some reason, it makes him feel better about his departure. Then, he descended the tower.

#yugioh vrains #aiyusa #aiballshipping #god the way i didnt know what to write for this lmao #and by didnt know i mean i kept forgetting what i wanted them to say ksnfjsdkdjxj oh well yall get story time #gosh nonny you just reminded me that i was planning on writing a small little sequel and i have an extra side chunk already written #curious to know who you are nonny so i can pass it along (or at least know if its okay to pass it along its spicy 😂)#but idk maybe ill just clean it up and publish it who knows #oh god im rambling #ygo vrains #scribble scrabble

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bustyasianbeautiespod · 21 days ago

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Episode 108 Transcript: Hello, It’s Allergies. Hello, It’s Rhinitis. And this is Stuffy Asian Beauties.

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we are discussing Season 6, Episode 4: "Weekend at Bobby’s," written by Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin, directed by Jensen Ackles.

C: Ugh. I couldn't really tell that there was anything special, director-ing-wise, so.

G: Which is probably a good thing, yeah.

C: Yeah. It means he wasn't noticeably bad at it.

G: Yeah. And this is like a gimmick episode. Like, there's a gimmick. I suppose every episode supposedly has a gimmick, though. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, but this one, it's a gimmick episode. Okay, let's start with, did you like it?

C: Yes, but I don't think the writers like women.

G: Well, that's obvious fro everything that Supernatural has done.

C: Yeah. And every time they brought out the damn cobbler, I started booing and throwing tomatoes at my screen. I think that was stupid.

G: Didn't they just do it one time?

C: No, there's several times where Bobby brings it out, and he is like about to take a bite or whatever, and then somebody calls, and he's like, "Oh my god! I never will have rest in order to like indulge in the domestic life provided to me by women, which could comfort me. This is so sad!" [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And I think me asking, "Does it ever come up?" is proof that I did knit while watching this episode. So sorry.

C: Yeah. Hmm.

G: No, not "hmm." [both laughing]

C: What's the right sound? "Yayy!"

G: You're supposed to say, "So true!" Like that.

C: Okay. So true!

G: I do like this episode, I would say. Like, if I was a person who liked Bobby- [C laughs] It is incredibly hilarious to me that Dean was like, "Wow! Some things are more important than Sam, aren't they?" And it's like, dude, you're talking to Bobby. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] Everything's more important than Sam, it seems like.

C: For real.

G: What did you know about this episode before going in?

C: I knew that people liked it, and that's about it.

G: Or did they? They did, yeah. I mean, this is a beloved episode, and allegedly, Bobby is a beloved character, so that's not really a surprise. [C: Yeah.] Yeah. Do you think watching this, you understand better the people who are like, "My favorite Supernatural character is Bobby"?

C: Um, no. I mean, he's fun this episode, I suppose, but he's just sort of a POV character. [G: Yeah.] I feel like I don't know him or like him better in the episode. I think it's just like, "Oh, it's interesting to have an episode to think about all the effort that goes behind these sort of phone calls that come up sort of deus ex machina during a case episode for the Winchesters." That was what this episode added for me.

G: I think the Bobby aspects of characterization that we're supposed to learn is that he doesn't know what to ask for help, and he neeeeeds to! or something.

C: Yeah. I guess so. Who cares? [G: Yeah.] Bufus are in love, though.

G: I do think it's incredibly fun- Okay, let's start with the "Then" sequence. I do think it's incredibly fun that we start in like a "triumphs of Bobby's bisexual history." [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] Good for him. Like, we meet Crowley, we meet Rufus, and we see Kim Rhodes. [C: Jody.] What is her character's name? [C: Jody.] Jody, yeah. We see Jody. And it's like, is Bobby involved with these people in different manners that are similar? Yes, is the answer. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] I am so happy to see Rufus again. [C: Oh, absolutely!] He is incredibly fun, as always. And we get Jewish Rufus confirmation this episode, [C: Yeah.] which is also fun. I do think because Bobby's character type is grumpy old man, they play into that quite a bit, and I think it's the first time I realized that they do actually- like, that is Bobby's archetype. For some reason, I never really realized that before, that they're doing an archetype with him. And they are. He's the grumpy old man! [C: Yeah.] And he is so grumpy and so old, and he has never been so cold [C laughs] or something.

C: He's not that old, but yeah.

G: He's like 61 at this age.

C: Is that so old?

G: No, that's like normal.

C: Well, I guess Penelope Scott wasn't that old when she sang that song. She was younger than 61.

G: Yeah, allegedly. It's about feeling old. Do you think Bobby feels old?

C: Yeah.

G: I think he feels tired. I think he's going to say "estoy cansado" next episode.

C: Alright, we start the episode, and we're in Bobby's house, and he's working on some kind of summoning ritual. When it succeeds, Crowley shows up in his house, and Crowley's, you know, being a flippant, silly guy or whatever, and Bobby's quite antagonistic.

G: And this was like, a year ago, so this was like, pretty much immediately after the Apocalypse shit went down.

C: Yes. They have an exchange where Bobby offers Crowley a drink, and Crowley's like, "Ewww!"

G: "I only drink alcohol that is Scottish" or whatever.

C: Yeah, something called Craig that has reached at least 30 years.

G: Okay, I have a question. Do you think they use the Scottish accent to make fun of that guy later? [laughs] I think they do!

C: I don't think so. Really?

G: I think I think they make the whole Scottish thing a way to make fun of Crowley, or something that Crowley should be embarrassed of, or something. [C: Really?] They asked him if he wears a skirt, and he's like, "It's a kilt." [C: No, that's true.] Bobby's like, "What's his name? That's not true. That's Scottish." And Bobby-

C: Well, that's just because he has a British accent.

G: I know, but they make it a reveal and everything [laughs] [C: Yeah.] that Crowley is Scottish, and it's like a whole thing. It really is a whole thing, seems like.

C: Yeah, I guess so.

G: And I do think an aspect of it is like, because it's funny or it's supposed to be. [C: Huh.] Like, it's supposed to be funny that he's pretending to be British, and he's actually Scottish.

C: Yeah, I think it's funny that he's pretending to be British and he's actually Scottish.

G: "It is funny." [laughs]

C: But like, I don't think that the fact that he is Scottish alone would be played for laughs. It's the fact that he's ashamed of it.

G: He's hiding it. [C: Or hiding it.] No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. But like, I don't know. Don't you think the fact that he is hiding it is something that is like, whatever? Are they trying to say something? What are they trying to say?

C: I mean, within the UK, there is accent discrimination [G: Oh, yeah. Of course.] So, just, I don't know. He's just trying to seem what other people would perceive as more fancy and sophisticated. But yeah, I think they they just put it in with his whole like, "He's a fake!" stuff along with his selling his soul for an extra three inches on his dick.

G: Yeah, I do think it's a fascinating choice to have him be a tailor in his life, which is something they mention later, [C: Yeah.] and then one of the things that he was like, upset about because he was like-

C: "They ate my tailor."

G: Yeah, they ate his tailor, and that's like a sign of him not living the fancy life that he wants because he's being, you know, Apocalypsed. [C: Yeah.] And like, yeah, I do think I get what you're trying to say, and I think that's true.

C: I guess it's the- [laughs] were you asking if it's bad that they're doing it?

G: No no no, I'm asking, what is the intentionality behind it?

C: Yeah. I do think people in general take Scots less seriously than Brits, though. [G: Yeah.] So that's part of it.

G: My baby sister did say when we were listening to the David Tennant How to Train Your Dragon audiobook that she can't understand his accent, and "Can we just watch the movie instead?" [both laugh] So yeah, it very well may be.

C: Yeah. Well, your little sister is the arbiter of the greater social opinion.

Bobby tells Crowley, "We put Lucifer in the cage, so you promised that you would give me my soul back." Crowley does this thing where he snaps, and all the writing on the contract appears on Bobby's arms.

G: Yeah. Pretty fun! Later on in the show, they would just have a scroll.

C: But he says, "You didn't read the little paragraph that I added in the contract particularly closely. That part of it is on your crotch, that might be why. But anyway, it says that I only have to make the best efforts to give you back your soul, so, um, you know, I tried. But I can't!" So Bobby's stuck with the usual demon deal thing of he lives for ten years and then he goes to Hell. Bobby's like, "I hate you and want you to die. And also, you're standing inside a devil's trap painted with invisible ink or whatever the fuck. So I'm gonna keep you here until you give me my soul back." But Crowley is just like, "Whatever." and summons a hellhound to threaten Bobby with. So that's our cold open.

G: So we go to modern day, and the situation is that Sam and Dean are looking at a case, and they realize that they don't know what the fuck is going on, and so they ring up Bobby. At this point, Bobby's outside, and the phone rings a lot. And then when he comes in, Dean is being like a fucking horrible guy. He's like, "Ah, I can't believe you didn't answer me within two rings, Bobby! I can't believe it! Do you have better things to do? Did you have a fall and you can't get up?" which is very rude of Dean. And yeah, he delivers the news of they can't figure this thing out. "Can you figure it out for us?" Bobby goes, "Okay, whatever." And so Bobby starts his investigation. His research, even. And he like, starts reading books from his house. And this is all set in a soundtrack. A song I don't recognize. He's like, "Oh, damn it! I can't find anything!" He goes out. He goes to the Sioux Falls University Library. Very fun.

C: He passes his neighbor-

G: Yeah. On his way there, he's driving. There's this lady who he smiles at, and the lady smiles back and waves. And yeah, I do think there is like, a fun aspect of this where he seems familiar with like, the people and the place, and, you know. That is fun to think about with the respect of Sam and Dean, especially Dean this season, thinking of hunting as something that has no roots, and that that is fundamental to the hunter experience. And then you see Bobby, and he has roots!

C: He says that he's done a lot for the town. I guess in "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," we learn that he has a reputation as the town drunk, but that's still a role in the community, I guess. [both laugh]

G: No, I mean, he does save people and stuff, but I mean, the only reason why those bad things happen to this town is because he's in it, so like, really, [C: True.] what is he doing for this town? A lot, allegedly.

C: I'm sure he's hunted other things before that weren't after him specifically.

G: Stuff is happening. His car won't start, you know, and a door is locked. He breaks in to get inside, and he does say "Balls!" throughout this montage. Before this, was it ever like, a Bobby tagline? I don't think it was.

C: He'd said it before, and nobody else had said it, so.

G: Yeah. But like, was it a thing already? Perhaps it was. I just didn't care about Bobby. It's a very distinct possibility.

C: It's possible, indeed.

G: There's like, you know, more of the montage, and then he figures it out. He calls Dean. Bobby is about to deliver his lore speech, and he says, "You're hunting a lamia," which is a Greek monster that they've only seen in Greece, and it's weird that it's not there, it's outside. Anyway, Dean asked, like, "How are we gonna kill it?" And Bobby just goes, "Well, the easiest way is silver knife blessed-" blah blah blah, and then Dean just goes, "Okay, whatever!" and then hangs up immediately. And Bobby doesn't get-

C: He told Bobby, "I only love you like a coworker."

G: Literally. Bobby's kind of upset because Dean didn't let him finish his lore montage.

C: And it's 5AM for him.

G: Yeah. What time was it for Dean? Where are they? They're in Wisconsin.

C: Well, I think it's about the same time for Dean, but-

G: Well, it's also 5AM.

C: - they make a big point of the clock changing [G: Oh, yeah, showing the clock, yeah.] while he's doing research to show how he never gets any rest because he's working for Sam and Dean and all these other people.

G: Yeah, he's working for the knife that is Sam and Dean. He goes, "You're welcome," reinstating to us that Dean didn't even say, "Thank you"!

C: Wow. So at this, there's a call from the basement where some woman yells, "Hey, I'm still here!" And Bobby goes downstairs, and he has a crossroads demon tied up in his panic room. And he's been questioning her, trying to get her to tell him Crowley's real name, his human name, so that he can threaten him into giving him his soul back. And this demon is a hot woman in a little black dress, like every crossroads demon we've seen, and she's doing the whole thing where she's crossing and uncrossing her legs and all that stuff because nobody knows [G: Yeah.] how to write evil women on Supernatural.

G: And she's being sexual, and she's saying sexual innuendo. And you know what? A part of me was like, "Wow! I thought the demons were just into Sam and Dean because they thought Sam and Dean were hot, and the show is trying to tell us that Sam and Dean are soo hot [C: That's true.], but no! They also do it to Bobby, who is just fine!" [laughs]

C: Well, they also have Bobby have a love interest this episode, so maybe [G: Ugh. So true.] their point isn't that all demons are sexual, but that Bobby is so hot!

G: Yeah. Is Bobby hot? A question we will never answer. [laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, I can answer it. [G: Okay, answer it.] No. I don't know. I'm sure Bobby has appeal to some people.

G: You know, people say that the older you get, older people are more attractive to you. [C: Yeah.] And that lady later is, I think, younger than him.

C: I don't know. We'll be able to look up the actress later.

G: Are we?

C: We will. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Or will we? [laughs]

C: What do you think is gonna happen that we won't be able to? We might forget.

G: Yes, I think the main thing would be forgetting. [C: Yeah.] I think the second main thing is [C: Uh-huh?] life in the world as we know it collapsing entirely and IMDb being inaccessible.

C: Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna look up "Marcy Supernatural." She's gonna have a Wiki page where she has the actress's name.

G: [laughs] Okay.

C: The actress is Jennifer Aspen. [G: Hell yeah.] I'm going to find the birth year of Jennifer Aspen. [typing] She was born in 1970, so she is younger than whatever this guy's name is. Jim?

G: Beaver.

C: What's his name?

G: Beaver. [C: Yeah.] That is a fun surname.

C: He was born in 1950, so she is 20 years younger than him.

G: If you're 40 years old, would you want to date a 60-year-old? Question of all time.

C: I'm not 40 years old, so I wouldn't know.

G: Yeah. But at 20 years old, you do want to date a 30 years-old. So it's possible.

C: I don't wanna date a 30-year-old.

G: Yeah, that is true. Well, I want to date a 50-year-old, but let's not talk about it. [both laugh]

C: She'll notice you one day.

C: She starts trying to provoke him by bringing up how he killed his wife again and again, and Bobby's just like, "No, I just want to torture you by taking something that's yours"--they don't tell you what it is until the end of the episode--"and lighting it on fire." And she tells him that it's a myth, but he lights the things on fire, and little patches of fire show up on her skin, and she's screaming in pain, etc, etc. And she tells Bobby that Crowley is the king, not of the crossroads, but of all of Hell.

G: Hell, baby! Good for him. Very fun.

C: Then the bell rings, and he goes up, he looks through the peephole of the door, and his neighbor is there, and she-

G: And she's fixing her hair.

C: - and she's arranging her hair to look nicer, [G: Yeah.] and Bobby checks that his breath doesn't smell bad and straightens his clothes a little before he opens the door.

G: Which is fun, yeah.

C: Yeah, I think it's a nice, cute way to show that two people are mutually interested in each other.

G: Yeah. Is this the equivalent of having a crush on your coworker? [C: How so?] No, this is the equivalent of having a crush on your neighbor, which allegedly happens.

C: Yes, which is what's happening.

G: Yeah. She brought a peach cobbler. What is the thing that Karen was into making? It was pie, right?

C: Yeah, it was pie. [G: Yeah.] And Marcy says it isn't just a peach cobbler. It's a ginger peach cobbler.

G: Which sounds wonderful!

C: It does sound fun and good.

G: Yeah, anyway, she brings it over, and, you know, she's like, "Oh, it's really good. It's my specialty!" And she tells Bobby to like, smell it, and then he does, and he's so awkward. But he does give a smile, and he's like, "Mm, very fun." There is screaming in the back [laughs], and he goes, "Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. I love horror. It's a guilty pleasure of mine." And she's like, "Love it! Love horror! Have you seen Drag Me to Hell?" [both laugh] and he's like, "Well, I'm trying to avoid it," which is also funny. Anyway, she goes, "Well, you know, over the weekend, you can come over to my place. We'll have dinner, and we can watch a movie, and I can whip up my batch of famous white chocolate popcorn!" She's really trying.

C: Yeah, "I'm gonna cook so much 'cause I'm a woman!"

G: Ugh, this is true. But like, how do you invite people to your house? "Have a drink." Don't have drinks. Don't like drinking. "Have some coffee." Hate coffee, more than alcohol! [C: Yeah.] "Have some tea," I guess.

C: Sure, yeah, or it could just be a chips and salsa situation.

G: I don't like salsa. I also don't like chips.

C: You're not Bobby Singer! [both laughing] Why are you talking about this like this?

G: No, this is true. She should have just invited Bobby for some nice whiskey or something.

C: Yeah, I mean, I'm fine with- well, I'm not blaming her as a character. I'm blaming the writers.

G: No, no, yeah. No, but like, this is like that situation where it's like, "Oh, Jimmy was having a crisis, but he's not gay. So how do straight people have crisises?" You know?

C: Ah, yeah. How do women invite people over without cooking? [laughs]

G: No, how do people in general? Like, how do you do it? [C: Yeah.] "Let's watch a movie," I guess, is something.

C: Yeah, I think that's enough. You can just have it during not meal hours, like 2PM, so they have lunch beforehand by themselves.

G: Yeah, this is true. Or you can go out somewhere else that isn't the house. Allegedly people do this.

C: Yeah, I don't think there's that many restaurants in Sioux Falls.

G: Yeah. But he's done so much for the community! Maybe even established a barbecue joint. [C laughs]

C: So true. That's one of his other jobs. We just didn't see it because it wasn't important to his journey?

G: Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like automatic to him. [C: Yeah.] It doesn't even register anymore that he's absolutely killing it at the grill. [C: Yeah.] That is a thing that he does. He grills stuff, right? [C: Yes.] So true. Go Bobby. Anyway, Bobby kind of hesitates, and Marcy's like, "Okay, yeah, well, that's fine. But I also have a woodchipper that's broken, and if you would like, you can come over and look at it, because people say that you're like, handy and stuff," [C laughs] which is very fun. Yeah, and Bobby's like, "Okay, let me see!" Before she leaves, she extends a hand for Bobby to shake, and they're a bit awkward about it.

C: Yeah, 'cause he's holding the cobbler with both hands. [G: Yeah.] So he has to maneuver it.

G: Yeah. As she goes, Bobby closes the door in this like stance, like, thinking about it a little bit. And then he's like, "Okay!" He puts down the cobbler, he heads downstairs, [laughs] he starts screaming, "What's his name?!!" to the demon while blasting it with a flamethrower. We are again faced with the question of all time. What is Supernatural's deal with torture?

C: I mean, didn't we already answer this question? [G: Yeah.] It's that they don't think monsters can be convinced or reasoned with, so the only language that they can understand is pain.

G: I mean, this is a rhetorical question. It's a rhetorical question.

C: Yeah, okay. [laughs]

G: But they really do have a deal with fucking torture is what I'm trying to bring up. [C: Yeah.] She finally reveals that Crowley's name is Fergus MacLeod. The name has been revealed, and the crossroads demon was like, "Okay, well, now, you gotta send me back. It's our deal." But Bobby just holds up the bag. Of what? We'll figure out later. And he's like, "You know what? I gave it my best effort, and I'm still going to burn you alive." And so he does by torching the thing in the thing.

C: Are we supposed to think he was cool for that, or is it like a, "Wow, he's really gone off the rails."

G: The thing is, I think we're supposed to think he's cool because it's not like they make any effort to show us that, like, Bobby's losing it or whatever the fuck. [C: Yeah.] And the thing is, I think we're also supposed to think Sam is cool later for going, "You know what, Dean? We had a deal." So like, what's the situation?

C: That they hate women, maybe?

G: Yeah, I mean, that is the situation. Very obviously this situation. [both laugh] It is fascinating that like, "Oh, we had a deal. But you know what? I'm not gonna respect it." is a sign of strength, but also, "We had a deal, and I will respect it" [C laughs] is also a sign of strength. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] So it's not about the respecting of the deal. It's about the existence of a deal itself, I think, is the thing. I think also-

C: That you're the one with power?

G: Yeah, it's the power of like- But like, you also have the power if you let the deal hold by itself, right? Or I think the point is that with Crowley, I honestly thought this is what Sam was gonna say later. With Crowley, Crowley can do things for them, [C: Yeah.] but this demon is dispensable, I think, is the situation. So it's like, why would I- With Crowley, if we let him go now then, it's like, he owes us. Versus this demon, yeah, she owes us. But like, who the fuck cares because we don't need her? I think, is the vibe. [C: Uh-huh.] Horrible!

C: Bobby is doing some research on Scotland in general.

G: Literally just Scotland. [laughs]

C: He picks up a call from Garth! [G: Yeah.] Who we haven't met yet.

G: Yeah, it's Garth reveal. Hi, Garth! Love Garth.

C: Yeah, and it's a fun little bit where he's like, "This doesn't sound like a vampire. You should call the FBI." And then [laughs] he immediately gets a call on his fake FBI phone and it's Garth. [G laughs]

G: And Bobby goes, "Not me, idjit, like the real FBI! I wonder how you're still alive by now!" [C: Yeah.] I do love that he was just researching Scotland. It's like when Sam looked up vampires. So real.

C: Yeah, so real. [laughs] It's where to start. Yeah, he's picking up a bunch of different phones where he's being an FBI guy, a CDC guy. [G: Yeah.] Female hunter mention where, at some point, while picking up a phone, he goes, "Of course she's one of ours, and if she says she's gotta dig that grave up, you better damn well let her."

G: Feminism. [C: Slay.] I do love this scene, and I think it's quite evocative. The visual of having all the phones there. I am a bit sad that Jensen Ackles, the director of this episode, did not linger on the visual of it because it's good. It's a good look. Maybe it did linger on it, and I just wasn't looking. That is also a possibility.

C: No, but you mean sort of a wide shot [G: Yes.] with the montage where he's moving around, hitting different phones at different times. That would be fun.

G: Yeah, like, have like a shot that is the phones that is not focusing on Bobby, but focusing on the phones, I would have enjoyed. And they do do that later in the show when it's Sam and Dean's turn to be those people, where it's like just a bunch of flip phones, and it's like, "Oh, yeah, FBI," which is very fun. And like, that is- I mean, this scene, like, it's fun, but the value of it for me is it showcases what Bobby's role is in the community. He really is a pillar in the hunting community, which is very fun, and also, the fact that they bring up this virtual again later on with Sam and Dean as they now become a pillar of the hunting community, now that Bobby is gone. [C: Yeah.] It is like, fascinating to think about the fact that Sam and Dean have this such loyalty to the hunter brand when they have like, actually quite little connections in the hunting life. Like, you know. I think it is telling that John brought them up in this lifestyle or culture and environment but also made them pretty much not intermingle with anyone who is also that lifestyle and environment. You know what I mean? [C: Uh-huh.] And I do think if they had more hunter friends, they would ease up a bit. [laughs] Like, maybe they'd calm down, you know?

C: Yeah, they would unclench.

G: Yeah, unclench a bit. And I think the times in the show where we have seen the concept of a bigger hunter commune is with Ellen and Jo's bar-

C: The Roadhouse, yeah.

G: The Roadhouse. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot the word for it! That's so sad!

C: Yeah. Do you hate women?

G: [sadly] No. [both laugh] I don't. But yeah, so we have the Roadhouse, we have this Bobby thing, and I suppose we'll see it later on in the show.

C: Someone starts pounding on the door, and it's Rufus! [G: Yeah!] Iconic scene, I think we've all seen it, where he's like, leaning on the doorframe, out of breath, and he goes, "Oh, good. You're home. Listen! You gotta help me bury a body."

G: And Bobby's just staring at him like, "What the fuck is up with this guy?" Yeah. This scene is wonderful. It is iconic. And yeah, love Rufus! It's the first time we're seeing him since the beginning of Season 5 if I'm correct, right? I am correct. [C: Yeah.] 5.02? [C: Stupid-ass episode.] I think, because in the past, we have established that Rufus and Bobby are kind of like a- they're mad at each other, but jokingly, but also not jokingly, which is a fun dynamic. [C: Yeah.] And you know, what we've seen of Rufus and Bobby- Okay, let's do a like, timeline of Rufus and Bobby from what we've seen in the show so far. We have, like, Bobby telling Dean, "Go to Rufus. He'll help you."

C: Yeah, Season 3.

G: Yeah. And Dean being like, "Hi, Bobby sent me" and Rufus being like, "Okay, well, then, fuck off," which is very fun. [C: Yeah.] We have "If you call again, I'll kill you." [laughs] [C: Aww.] and then Rufus calling again immediately. [C: Yeah.] We have, "And Rufus? Take care of yourself." Ah! Love it. [C: Yes.] And then we have this. And I do think, like, it is a consistent-

C: Was there anything else? I think throughout Season 4 or 5, Bobby was like talking to Rufus about apocalyptic signs a few times.

G: Yeah, but I don't think we actively would see it, right? A lot of the times, it's Bobby saying, "Yeah, Rufus said." But I think the phone calls I mentioned and you mentioned are the ones that we really see them talking. [C: Right.] don't know. I think it is an interesting dynamic of like, antagonistic friends. So important. [C: Yeah.] And they are friends! Look at them!

C: In Bobby's scrapyard- and yeah, so Rufus brought some body over because police were chasing him, and they rib each other about like, "Oh, you're getting slow!" "Oh, I'm getting slow? All you do is sit on your ass all day taking calls." And we see the body, and she's Asian!

G: It's an Asian woman! She's literally Asian, and it's because she's a Japanese monster. It's literally the reason. [C: Yes.] And I mean, I do find it hilarious that they were like, "Oh, we need-" I mean, it's better than having a white woman play it, I guess. [laughs]

C: Yeah, which they've done a lot of times.

G: But also, like, again, we come up to the whole thing where it's like, you only have an Asian person to be an Asian monster or whatever. Or like, you know, having the-

C: Yeah, this monster is an okami, which I think is just "wolf" in Japanese and not like, a creature. So yeah, she has these sharp teeth or whatever. They're both surprised at this because the only time Bobby has ever seen an okami was in Japan, and that also tracks with Sam and Dean hunting something that's usually only in Greece in Wisconsin. So Bobby has a mechanical digger, which can dig a hole for the okami very easily. [G: Love it.] And we get Jewish Rufus confirmation where he's looking at it, and he goes, "Man, I know what I want for Hanukkah." Love it! They bury the body, and they're chatting about the whole Crowley situation. [G: Yeah.] And Bobby says that what he's gonna pursue is that Crowley said in the beginning that he liked Craig, and that he'd been drinking it since he was in grade school, which means that he probably grew up where Craig was made. And Rufus immediately is like, "Oh my god! I know everything about Craig. It's only made and sold in a tiny area on the north tip of Caithness County," and he starts going into like, you know, wine tasting people's descriptions [G: The notes, yeah.] of what alcohol tastes like. And he's like, "I'm not a heathen. I obviously know what Craig is, you dumbass!"

G: So true. [C: So true.] Rufus- when Bobby sent Dean to Rufus, he told him to get a Blue Label, right? [C: Yeah.] That already happened, right? That was in Season 3. [C: Yeah.] And also, when he dies, they pour a whole bottle- whole bottle?! Dude. [laughs] Give a half to yourself, is my opinion. Does Sam and Dean have like, hobbies similar to this? Well, I suppose Sam has serial killers.

C: Cars? One car.

G: Car. Serial killers. [C laughs] What else?

C: I mean, Dean's music is sort of a hobby, [G: Oh, yeah.] especially the fact that he knows trivia about Led Zep.

G: I think pop culture is Dean's hobby. He loves a TV show, movie, a song. [C: Yeah.] A book. He reads. [laughs] Aesop, etc.

C: Yeah, The Odyssey too.

G: What are Sam's interests? He loves serial killers. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] He loves being vegan, but they never say it. He loves being secretive about the fact that he's vegan, but also very explicitly open about it, just never saying the word, that's a hobby.

C: Uh-huh. He loves doing it, so much. Sam doesn't have a lot of-

G: He loves lore.

C: Yeah, I guess that's a hobby.

G: Yeah. What else are Sam's hobbies?

C: Nothing.

G: He loves a Dewey decimal system, but that's just us projecting.

C: Yeah. Projecting? I don't love the Dewey decimal system.

G: Well, I do love to do a decimal system.

C: You're projecting on Sam and me.

G: Well, he would grow plants after Dean dies, but also again, that's just us, I think. [laughs] Is that true? Or do we see him grow plants when Dean is dead?

C: I don't rember. Well, I haven't seen it also.

G: You haven't seen. [laughs] I was viciously reminded of Jared Padalecki's wig at the finale of Supernatural recently. [C: Yeah.] What a horrible thing they do to Sam Winchester, even. [C laughs] Maybe he's into bag wigs. yeah.

C: Rufus tells Bobby, "You know I have contacts over there in Scotland. I can make a few calls." And Bobby says, "I ain't asking for no help." And Rufus says, "I ain't asking for your permission." They're in wuv!

G: Bobby is allegedly about to eat a piece of his cobbler, but then he is stopped by Dean calling him. And Dean's like, "Okay, well, what's the other way to kill a lamia?" And Bobby's like, "Well, did the first one not work?" And Dean's like, "Well, no. So what do we do?" And then Bobby says what they should do, but as he's saying it, there's a massive knock on the door, and Bobby's trying to hold him off, but eventually he had to let them in because it's the cops, including Jody. Well, it's Jody and some other guy. Bobby does this thing where he's like, "Oh, I'm talking to my mom," which is very fun. [C: Yeah.] "Just wait a minute. I'm guiding my mom through cooking." And then he goes back to the phone and he's like, "Okay, well find salt and rosemary, and really cook it well-done" or something. [C laughs] Yeah. And then he goes, "Is it okay now? Okay, well, have a have a fun roast, mom!" [laughs] Would Bobby's mom still be alive? I think so, yeah.

C: Yeah. Well, I don't know. He's 61.

G: In her 80s, probably.

C: She's be 90 or in her 80s, yeah.

G: I mean, allegedly. She's probably dead.

C: Yeah, she's probably dead. I thought it was sweet that he stayed on the phone until he knew for sure [G: Yeah, it was done.] that the lamia was dead.

G: Well, the last time Dean hung up on him, it didn't work, [C: True.] so by the process of elimination, it is Bobby that killed that thing.

C: Yeah. I can't believe that he said the easiest way was a silver knife blessed by a priest when like, you can just get salt and rosemary from the grocery store!

G: How do you get a priest who is maybe not aware of what that silver knife is supposed to do to bless your silver knife?

C: Just be like, "This was my dad's favorite knife, and he died recently" or some shit?

G: Do you think that's gonna work?

C: I don't know. You're the Catholic.

G: My first idea was that they would have- They have a car, so they'll be like, "Oh, our car is new. It's vintage. We just bought it. We want it blessed," which is something people do. People get car blessings. And so they have the car there, and then they put the knife in the car, and then the priest blesses the car, and it will in turn bless the knife.

C: Will it?

G: I don't know. The intentionality is, in fact- [C: Yeah.] But you know, when you bless a car, you open everything.

C: So he sees the one million guns they have.

G: No, I'm assuming they would put that compartment down. But if they put the knife somewhere that a bit of it is peeking out like of the seat or something, but it's still obstructed, and the priest does the holy water, it will touch the knife, and will therefore bless it. What do you think?

C: Sure, why not? [both laugh]

G: Honestly, I don't think it works like that. I think there needs to be an intentionality behind blessing this specific thing. But you know what? It could be possible.

C: Yeah, I guess it was the flamethrower aspect of it that was harder, but they just had one.

G: Yeah. Do you think they do mass blessing to weapons? At this point, just have every weapon blessed, right?

C: True. Does it ever wear off?

G: I don't know. I mean, does holy water wear off?

C: Yeah. It evaporates.

G: Not if you bottle it. Oh, this is true. But would the vapor be holy? [laughs]

C: Well, the vapor would be in the air and not on the weapon.

G: Would the particles itself- This is a separate conversation.

C: Oh, like, do demons walk through the world, and occasionally they go, "Ow!"

G: "Ow! Owie!" Yeah, because there's a concentration of holy vapor.

C: Yeah. Probably.

G: So fun! Love it. Anyway, that's all said and done. Bobby greets these cops and what they're saying is, they put up a sketch of Rufus, and they're like, "Okay, well, did you see this guy? His name is Rufus Turner, aka Luther Vandros, aka Ruben Studdard." And Bobby's like, "Nah, I've never seen that dick." [laughs]

C: Love is real!

G: The cop is like, "How do you know he's a dick, then?" and Bobby goes, "I don't know. I just think maybe he is." [C laughs] And the guy cop is like, "Well, people saw him carrying a body over here. So what's that about?" And Bobby's like, "Look, man, that's soo ridiculous!" And Jody steps in, and she's like, "You know what? Me and this guy, we have a relationship." And she says she's been arresting him for ten years now, so why don't we just separate, and you investigate outside, and I investigate inside. And the cop's like, "Okay, fine." And as soon as the cop goes out, Bobby goes, "Why did you let him go out there?" And Jody says, "Well, I think it would be better if he was out there than in here. I don't think you want him in here." And Bobby goes, "Well, yeah, because I have a body in the basement. But I also have a body in the yard!" [C laughs] Jody is like, "Oh, fuck! Damn it!" And so they go out and they pace about, and they see the guy, and the guy's like, "Bobby, there's a giant fucking hole [C laughs] in the yard. What's that about?" And Bobby's like-

C: But it's empty.

G: Yeah, it is empty. I actually couldn't figure out what they were trying to tell me until later. The hole is empty. I thought they just did a bad job of like, putting the dirt back in the hole.

C: But we saw it completely smooth over it earlier?

G: Is that true?

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, well, that's my fault. My bad, even.

G: Bobby's like, "Oh, yeah, I did a septic tank thing, so watch where you step!" He calls Rufus like, "Rufus, this thing is dead!" Or, well, "This thing is not dead!" [C laughs] Rufus is-they start going back and forth on if Rufus did the proper methods of killing so that this thing will actually be dead. And Bobby's like, "Did you use a bamboo dagger?" Rufus goes, "Yes." "Blessed by a Shinto priest?" And Rufus is like, "I'm not fucking stupid, Bobby!" And Bobby goes, "Did you stab it seven times?" And Rufus goes, "Well, I stabbed it five times." And Bobby's like, "It's supposed to be seven!" And Rufus is like, "No, it's supposed to be five." But anyway, this thing is alive because Rufus forgot two stabs. [C: Yeah.] [C laughs] Bobby asks, "When you found it, what was it doing?" And Rufus said it was feeding on, you know, single white females, usually while they sleep.

C: [laughing] Incredibly funny, incredibly funny. They're usually in Japan. How do they survive off of this diet?

G: No. What Bobby is saying is like, what were they doing when you found it? Not necessarily like, "This is their diet. What's their diet?"

C: Okay, yeah, this is a special one, and it had to come here all the way from Japan because it wanted to eat white women so bad.

G: No, the point is like, "What is the modus operandi of this specific thing?"

C: Yeah! [G: Yeah.] Which I think it's funny that they wrote it to be this.

G: I mean, it is hilarious that they wrote it this way specifically so Bobby can go to his girlfriend's house.

C: Yeah, like, I feel like she doesn't need to be specifically into single white females. Like, I think just the fact that this is your neighbor and it escaped from your property is enough. You could be like, "I saw some tracks" or whatever.

G: Yeah, like, Bobby could be like walking around, looking for a clue to where this went off, and he sees that like, there's a track going to the house or something. [C: Yeah.] Well, that's how it happens.

C: Have we ever had a monster who was only after, like- besides the racist truck [both laugh]- a specific racial or gender group?

G: Well, there's the gay gorgon who was going after gay men.

C: Well, we haven't had him yet.

G: Yeah, but he's iconic, so I thought I should mention him.

C: Alright. Thank you for mentioning him because he's iconic. I just feel like they really went out of their way to do this, and it's silly to me.

G: No, I mean, yeah, they did go out of their way to do this, and it is silly to you and me.

C: So we're now in Marcy's house, and she's preparing to go to sleep, but there's like a shadow crossing the window, and then Bobby fucking kicks in her door. He says that she needs to show him where her bedroom is, and he's swinging around a gun and checking everywhere, and she's like, "I'm trying to be chill about this, but what the fuck is going on?" And Bobby asks if she's seen anything weird, and then she notices the okami on the ceiling about to jump at her. And there's a whole fight thing where Bobby's wrestling with the okami a bunch and crashes out of a window into the outside, and they're still fighting, etc, etc. And then they're at the woodchipper, and he accidentally hits the power button, and it turns on, working completely fine, and during the fight, he is able to shove the okami into the woodchipper, and she gets destroyed.

G: Yeah, and Bobby gets sprayed with blood, but then we go to Marcy, and she's completely drenched. It is a fun look, and she's in a white nightgown.

C: She sure is. They're both a little bit in shock, and Bobby goes, "I thought your chipper was broken." And Marcy goes, "I just said that to get you over here." And Bobby says, "I guess I could come over for dinner some night. It might be fun." [laughs] And Marcy just goes, "I don't think so."

G: You know what who would have said yes? [C: Who?] The woman from "Dead Pig Collector," a very fun short story. You guys should check it out. [laughs]

C: From what?

G: No, I'm just promoting it. What? What do you mean?

C: Oh, who wrote it?

G: Warren Ellis, I think. Wait, let's see.

C: It's called "Dead Pig Collector"? [G: Yes.] Okay. Yeah, I see.

G: By Warren Ellis. Very fun!

C: Yeah, and Bobby says, "Story of my life," which did annoy me.

G: Bobby calls Rufus now, and Rufus is like, "Wow, I can't believe you're still alive." And Bobby's like, "Yeah, well, I killed it. So fuck you." And Rufus asks-

C: Yeah, he also calls the okami "Godzilla."

G: Is that supposed to be a thing?

C: Well, I guess it's a Japanese monster.

G: Do people think of Godzilla as a Japanese monster?

C: It's a kaiju, isn't it?

G: Yeah, but then like, that's just some guy at this point. Is Godzilla so tied to culture? [laughs]

C: Well, to Rufus, it is.

G: Yeah. Isn't there Godzilla vs. King Kong? Isn't that a thing? [C: Probably.] Yeah, what the fuck is that about? [laughs]

C: I think Godzilla probably fights King Kong.

G: No, but like, is it an underdog story? Like, King Kong is the underdog?

C: I don't know what King Kong is like.

G: King Kong's a giant gorilla.

C: What's Godzilla then? Oh, it's a lizard thing! Godzilla is sort of a dinosaur-looking thing?

G: Yeah, like a giant lizard that is a dinosaur. Yeah, love it. Do you love Godzilla? Yes or no. 5. 4. 3. 2-

C: I've never seen anything. I mean, I didn't even know who Godzilla was briefly.

G: I do think he's removed enough from the concept of being Japanese for this joke to be a thing. Although now that I think about it, why else would they make it?

C: Yeah. [both laugh]

G: And also, this was in 2010, so maybe the concept of Godzilla is less pronounced in pop culture. Anyway, Rufus asked, "Oh, so you just happened to have a bamboo dagger blessed by a Shinto priest?" And Bobby goes, "No, I shoved her through a woodchipper." And Rufus goes, "Oh, okey-dokey! Well, woodchipper, that trumps everything," which is pretty fun, and does remind me of when Rufus was like, "I'm gonna blow their legs off!" and Dean or something was like, "That's not gonna kill them," and he goes, "Well, they can't run if they don't have legs." Rufus thanks Bobby and apologizes. He says, "I screwed up."

C: Okay, Bobby says, "Forget it. I figure I still owe you more than you owe me," which is a reference to a thing we never learn in canon, which is that Bobby is partly responsible for Rufus's daughter's death. Right?

G: Is that true?

C: Yeah, there's a bonus content thing where-

G: I mean, I know that. But like, is that really what this statement means?

C: I think so. I think it's about their past. It felt loaded.

G: Yeah, Rufus does do a "Hm." about it, so maybe.

C: Yeah. It's so sad that that never makes its way into the show in actuality. And they kill him. So it's not like they were like, "We'll reveal this later down the line in the Bobby/Rufus story" and then they forgot. Rufus takes a moment to process those words, and then he goes, "Okay. Well, you owe me another thing because I have a lead on Crowley. His full name is Fergus Roderick MacLeod. He was born in Canisbay, Scotland in 1661, and he had a son named Gavin."

G: After Caravaggio and Shakespeare. So true.

C: So true. The son was the captain of a trading ship that sank in 1723 off the coast of Massachusetts, so he has a ring that is inside a maritime museum of Andover, and Bobby says, "I need that ring." and Rufus goes, "Are you asking for my help, Bob?" Very cute. [G: So true.] And Bobby very reluctantly says, "I'm asking for a ring, and I'd appreciate your help getting it." The world's best proposal.

G: They're engaged! They're about to get married! So true. [C: So true.] Bobby said, "Marry me a little." Is that a funny joke, or is it so corny? [laughs]

C: I don't know.

G: I think if I committed to saying it, it would be.

C: I think Dean and Lisa are sort of the "Marry Me a Little" relationship.

G: No, because his name is Bobby, and he's saying, "I'm asking for a ring."

C: Okay, I see, I see. Yeah, okay, yeah. It's a funny joke. I'm sorry I didn't get it. That's on me.

G: Thank you. You were too invested in the plot of Company to realize the incredibly shallow joke I made.

C: Silly me.

C: Rufus is already heading to Andover to get this ring, and Supernatural thinks we're stupid, so he has him exposit to Bobby that "Oh, so your plan is to get the ring and summon Gavin's ghost in order to exchange hostages with Crowley, so that you can have your soul back!" Bobby says, "Yeah, something like that." He is trying to eat the cobbler again, where he takes it out of the fridge, but then the phone rings, and he's so sad. And Dean called-

G: Just eat it while the call is happening, just like me in the podcast and you in the podcast.

C: I don't get it. And me in the podcast! I love to snack during the podcast.

G: No, yeah, it is incredibly funny when I'm editing the podcast, and I start speaking in a way that will imply that I will speak for a long time, and then I hear a crinkle of snacks from your end. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, I mean, it's always first thing in the morning for me, so I usually haven't eaten before. [G: So true.] I got hungry during. But yeah, so Dean's like, "Yeah, the case is fine, Bobby. But it's Saaam!" [both laugh] And Bobby looks up, kind of annoyed. [G: So true.] And he's like, "Something's different about Sam, he's not right-"

G: Honestly, this is a hilarious scene. I mean, it is a hilarious scene. I don't think it's supposed to be funny. It is funny, though.

C: I think it's supposed to be a little bit funny with the whole Sam looking at Dean being like, "Ugh. Okay!" during Bobby yelling at them.

G: I do find it so amusing that like, if you're not like fully invested in the Sam and Dean story, and you're just like, a bypasser in a way- Like, Bobby is invested, but also, he's not like in the day-to-day like we are as an audience, how ridiculous it all sounds. [C: Yeah.] [laughs] Like all their drama? So fucking true. Now, I'm thinking about like when Ellen was like, "Okay, so what's up with you two?" and being like, "Okay, fine, here we go again."

C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, she thought that they were both fighting for the same woman or something, so yeah, to her, whatever their drama is, it seems very frivolous to her.

G: Yeah. Literally. And it probably is. [C: Yeah.] What was happening when she said that? Sam just-

C: Sam's demon blood thing.

G: Oh, yeah and opening the gates or whatever.

C: Dean wouldn't let him hunt.

G: Not the gate, the Cage.

C: That was in Season 2. They didn't know about the Cage yet. This was specifically in 5.02, right? So it was that Dean wouldn't let Sam go outside to hunt on his own.

G: Oh yeah, because of the demon blood. [C: Yeah.] So true.

C: So it was about that.

G: It was about Ruby. Oh, that is the implication that they're doing. Like, they're fighting over a woman-

C: Yeah, but in a different way than Ellen thinks. [G: Yeah.] Dean's like, "Ugh, I know he's been through so much, and he changed, but like, something's wrong, Bobby!" And someone starts calling Bobby, specifically Rufus, and Bobby's trying to cut this short. But Dean's all like, "Can you tell me everything about what Sam was like during the year while he was away?" [G laughs] And Bobby is just like, "Dean, no. I have another call." And he goes, "You what??"

G: Yeah, he puts Dean on hold, and Dean is so bitter, upset, sad, crying, throwing up.

C: Bobby says, "I have to take this. It's important." And Dean scoffingly laughs and goes, "More important than Sam???"

G: It's literally Bobby, Dean. Bobby doesn't give a fuck. [C laughs] And the thing is like, it is not urgent. It is a conversation that can have a pause, you know?

C: It can happen at any time.

G: This is not something that is- The thing is, to be perfectly clear, Bobby didn't hang up. He put Dean on hold, which means that he is committing to going back to this conversation. And if Dean later on wasn't like, "Oh, yeah, Bobby. Never mind, then. Fuck you!" like, Bobby would have continued that fucking call.

C: Yeah, I mean, Dean's just meant to be extremely selfish right now in order to cause Bobby to snap, so these are all things that the writers agree with. It's about how Dean doesn't think about how Bobby has other hunters that he's in contact with. He thinks that he's so special, so he can't imagine that anything could be time-sensitive for him, etc.

G: Yeah. You know what should have happened at some point in Supernatural? [C: Yeah.] While Sam and Dean are visiting Bobby, there happens to be two other hunters that are visiting Bobby that are around their age, [C laughs] and they realize that Bobby has so many like, "like a kid to me" people in his life. [C laughs] It will be hilarious. Dean would literally cry and throw up.

C: Oh, absolutely. In "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," he was like, "Karen, I hate you, and Bobby's like a father to me! [G laughs] So I don't know why you're up in my business trying to control his life." even though she was like a wife to him, so this is a pretty consistent characterization.

G: So true. Hilarious.

C: So it's Rufus on the phone, and he's driving very fast. There are police chasing him because he stole that ring from the museum, and he's like, "I have to hide this ring!" and Bobby says, "Don't swallow it!" and he says, "I'm swallowing it!" And he does.

G: And it's so cute because it's not like he didn't hear Bobby well. It was more like Bobby going, "Don't swallow it" gave him the idea that he can swallow it, and so he does! [C laughs] So true and so important.

C: Yeah, they are in wuv. And the rest of this, we only hear from Bobby's perspective, they didn't shoot this, but the police catch up to Rufus, and he says something about how the police are using unnecessary force, and that he knows his rights. And Bobby hangs up and goes back to Dean.

G: I did wonder here about like the concept of a, you know, a Black hunter like Rufus, [C: Yeah.] and the types of leeways that Sam and Dean get for being white men. [C: Yeah.] I mean, Rufus was retired for a long time, or at least retired on the hunting side of hunting. He was on the research, as he said.

C: Yes. I have also wondered this, but I don't think I really have anything to say. [G: Yeah.] Except that I do think that him like pointing out the force, and that he knows his rights is something that I hadn't heard Sam and Dean say, and it seems like something that he did like, I don't know. You know-

G: This is more conscious thought about it, yeah.

C: Yeah. Yeah, I guess these weren't the same people who wrote last episode, or are they? Who wrote last episode? Bedlund. [G: Bedlund.] I don't know how much they coordinate, but this is two police brutality against Black people mentions [G: Yeah, they're back-to-back.] back-to-back in this season, so yeah. I wonder if they talked about this amongst themselves at all while writing.

G: If I were to place a bet, I would say no. [laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah. Just a coinkydink.

G: Bobby is like, "Okay, well, Rufus is being arrested." He goes back to Dean, and Dean is like, "Bobby, what the hell??" [both laugh] That is what he sounded like. And he's like, "You know what? You're the one person I can talk to about this stuff. I'm so stressed out about everything. There's Sam, and there's Lisa and Ben. I don't even know what to do anymore! And you won't even listen to me?"

C: He says that he's the only person he can talk to about leaving Lisa and Ben, which is also the language [G: Not true.] I think Sam used last episode about Dean joining him on hunting. Like, did I totally misunderstand 6.02? Isn't he literally just on a business trip?

G: I think- you know what? When you were saying that, halfway through, I thought what you were gonna say is "Has Sam convinced Dean that this is, in fact, leaving Lisa and Ben?"

C: Or, I don't know. I guess I was more wondering if Dean told Sam that it- phrased it in a way that made it seem like it was more permanent.

G: No, but like, if you remember, the start of that scene is Dean-

C: He is on the phone with Ben, yeah.

G: - telling Ben off in a way that is very much like he is still solidly a part of Ben's life. So like, I think it was explained well to Sam.

C: Yeah. So like, why are they saying leaving?

G: Well, Sam got into Dean's head. [both laugh]

C: So true. He's not coming back anymore. [G: Yeah.] Except when he's a vampire. I know that happens.

G: Only when he's a vampire. Any other situation, he's not coming back. [C: Yeah.]

As Dean is going on this retort, Bobby just does the Kubrick stare, and like, you know, he goes, "Okay, well, I hear you, Dean, but now, it's not a good time." And Dean just goes, "Yeah? You know what? Forget it. I mean, I'm baring my soul like a freaking girl here! [laughs] And you've got stuff to do, so that's fine. But seriously, a little selfish. It's not all about you, Bobby." [both laugh] He's hilarious.

C: They really ham it up here.

G: In fairness, he is incredibly funny.

C: I don't think Dean would say this. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Anyway, Bobby just goes like, "Okay, well, where's your brother?" And then they put him on speaker, Dean calls Sam, and now they're listening to Bobby deliver his angry monologue. He goes, "Well, I love you both like you're my own, I do. But sometimes, you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I've ever met!" And you know, he's like, "I can't believe you call me selfish when you two are so fucking annoying." True. "I dig up so much lore for you two, and I pulled you out of fires, and when you need someone to bitch about about each other"--[both laugh] and then Sam hears this and looks up at Dean like, "The fuck? That's what you were doing?" [C laughs] And Bobby is like, "You call me, and I come through, and just for this once, you won't even give me whatever. Anything." And he says, "You guys are not the center of the universe," which will be disproven by the show, [C: Yeah.] "But in case it slipped your mind, Crowley has my soul, and time is running out, and I will be damned if I'm going to sit around and be damned." And he goes, "Well, how about you two help me for once?" And Sam goes, "Bobby, all you gotta do is ask." [both laugh] I can't believe Sam is being included in this! He did nothing wrong. [C: Yeah.] This is Dean's fault.

C: Yeah, I don't know, man. Maybe Sam was really annoying during that year, and Bobby's just been building up to this for him, too.

G: Literally. Do you remember that one time when Sam was drinking, and he was like, "Bobby, I think I'm gonna throw myself into the pit."

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: Bobby has resented him ever since that conversation.

C: So true. Dean says, "Anything you need, we're there."

G: Yeah, which is how Bobby manages to guilt Dean into going to Scotland via plane.

C: Yeah. Hell yeah. So the next day, he meets up with Jody, and yeah, she says that Marcy called the police and she told her that she'd look into the home invasion but didn't file a report. That seems quite mean. Like, Marcy saw the okapi. Or sorry, the okami? Yeah. Marcy saw the okami. [G: Yeah.] I feel like Jody should probably just explain it to her.

G: I mean, not only saw the okami, saw the okami go through a fucking woodchipper. Like, what's going on?

C: I don't know. But yeah, they don't care. 'Cause what Bobby needs is a favor for his boy best friend!

G: He did not let go.

C: Rufus is being held in Massachusetts on a burglary charge, and he needs Jody to extradite him for a murder charge. And this is, you know, Bobby, reaching out and asking for help more, that's his arc, as you've mentioned, and Jody's like, "That is not going to happen. It's so hard. I would have to call in all my favors. And how are you going to help him escape from being here under a murder charge? This is going to ruin my career." And Bobby's like, "Pwease?? Yeah, I've done a lot for this town, including things you don't know about, and I'm not good at this asking for help thing, but pwease?" And Jody says, "Sorry. I can't." And he's very sad in his house, and then there's a knock, and Jody's there, with Rufus! And Rufus goes, "Miss me?" Ah! I love love. [G: Love it.] Jody says that they have one hour, and then she's going to call the Feds and say that Rufus escaped. And Bobby goes, "Thank you." And Rufus produces the ring, which I guess he shat out at some point, and Bobby is off to clean it.

G: Bobby summons the son of Crowley, and this dude's name is Gavin. But later on, and honestly, until now, I mean, honestly, I thought his name was Kevin. [both laugh] Because the entire time, I thought Crowley was calling him Kevin. But no, his name is, in fact, Gavin. It would be incredibly funny to be a guy from the 1660s or whatever- well, I suppose 1670s?- and be named Kevin. Bobby starts talking to this guy, but we don't hear what's happening, and it's like, ominous on what's going on. But then we go to Bobby summoning Crowley. And Crowley allegedly looks bad, but I think he looks completely fine. And Bobby goes, "Well, you look like hammer crap," and Crowley goes, "And you're a vision as always." Love is real! [C: Yeah.] They do this with Dean and Cas, too, in a way that I find completely amusing. I think it was Season 10 after Dean goes back to human from being a demon. Cas goes in, he's like, "Well, you look like crap." And Dean goes, "You, on the other hand, looking good!" or whatever. Incredibly funny.

C: Yeah, I've seen this.

G: Yeah. Are they gay? Question of all time.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: They are? Or it's a question of all time?

C: Well, I don't know. That's for you to find out.

G: Yeah. Well, happy November 5 to everyone who celebrated, including meee! Crowley is like, right under a devil's trap, and basically, Crowley talks about how he has trouble in paradise because it's so difficult to run Hell. Crowley goes, "You know what the problem with demons is? They're demons. Evil, lying rats, the whole lot of them. And stupid. You try to show them a new, better way, and they don't want it!" So, you know, etc. He says that maybe Lucifer was right when he wanted to kill every demon in the world. Bobby shows like, the kid. Gavin. [laughs] The kid is a grown man. He's just Gavin to Crowley. And then Crowley goes, "Kevin?" [both laugh] He goes, "Kevin, is that you?" And he starts putting on the dramatics like, "Oh, I love you so much! I miss you! I can't believe it!" but then he laughs, and he's like, "Well, sorry, Bobby. I don't actually give a shit about this kid." I think he says "I loathe the little bastard." So true and so fun. What if the kid has bad vibes?

C: - was had out of wedlock?

G: Yeah. He says, "You picked the wrong bargaining chip, Bobby." But Bobby goes, "Well, what I actually did was that I digged up some dirt on you, and your kid, Gavin, really helped me out with this one because he loathes you more than you loathe him." And you know, Crowley goes, "What did you tell him?" Kevin goes, "Everything!" Bobby says that Crowley was, as you said, a tailor who sold his soul for an extra three inches on his dick. And Crowley goes, "Well, I'm just trying to hit double digits." So true! [C: Real.] Bobby also says, "And I know where you're buried." And he calls Dean, and Dean's like, "Hi, Crowley! We're in Scotland right now." And we pan over to Sam and Dean, who are in Scotland right now, and there's a castle behind them so you know they're in Scotland right now, and they're digging up a grave, and they go, "Oh, we've gone international. In fact, we're in your neck of the woods." Do you need a visa to go to the UK?

C: I don't know. [muttering, typing] No.

G: No?

C: No.

G: Oh, you are permitted to go without a visa! That's cool as hell! Dean asks like, "Did you really used to wear a skirt?" Crowley goes, "I had very athletic calves." Anyway, they explain that what they're doing is they're digging up his bones, and they're going to burn that thing. And Crowley says, "Well, it's a myth. You can't kill me by burning my bones." But Bobby goes, "I know an employee of yours that would disagree," and then we flash back to the demon and realize that what's inside those bag? Human bones, and they're her bones, and Bobby burned them to kill her. RIP! Bobby has this speech about how like, "You think you're so special? You're just a ghost, but worse!" Anyway, Dean [laughs] does this thing where he's like, flicking the lighter over and over again. And then he goes, "You hear that, Crowley? That's me flicking my BIC for you." And I went, "Ew!" [C: Yeah.] Kind of disgusting. But okay. Eventually, Crowley accepts his fate, and he lets Bobby go from his contract. And Bobby makes a comment about leaving the thing with the legs in, and he does. "Pleasure doing business with you."

C: Sam and Dean are still in Scotland, and Crowley has teleported towards them. Dean's like, "Maybe I'll just light your bones on fire anyway!" But Sam closed the lighter, and he goes, "Dean, he's a dick, but a deal's a deal." And Crowley tells Sam like, "Fuck you. I don't need you to fight my battles for me." I think that's supposed to be another hint that Sam is soulless, because his whole thing before was that he hates Crowley so much and wants to kill him every second they're together. Crowley disappears, and they do a shot of Scotland, where they pan out to the castle and like, the woods and shit. [laughs] [G: So true.] Don't know why.

G: I mean, they don't know how to show anything. [laughs] I do think the bit where Dean is driving on the other side is very fun.

C: Right. So Dean's driving on the wrong side of the road. He's on the phone with Bobby, and Bobby says, "Thank you for doing that, especially because I know you hate flying." Dean's like, "No, it's cool. I love riling up Crowley and shit." And Sam says that Dean was so nervous and puked four times, and Dean says that if some nut job decided to try something, he was going to attack them with a fork. [laughs] So Dean's afraid of flying because he thinks 9/11 is going to happen again? It's not because it's just like, it's really high up in the air??

G: Is that what it implies?

C: He says that what he was afraid of was like, somebody trying to attack him, right?

G: Yeah.

C: So I thought 1.04, he was just saying that humans aren't supposed to be that high up or something.

G: Yeah. But now they're like, "He's afraid because he's afraid that someone's going to be a terrorist in the plane"?

C: Yeah.

G: I thought what they were doing here was that, "Oh, yeah, Dean's afraid of flying, and it's made him paranoid in all other aspects."

C: That could be it.

G: Yeah. Just like when you were flying, and I was like, "What if the plane crashes or Crystal chokes on a cracker or something?" [C laughing] So true.

C: Those Biscoffs are really dry, and I don't like them. I know that's not a popular opinion, but I don't like Biscoffs. I think they're bad.

G: I like them. I'll eat them.

C: Okay. I'll bring them all to you.

G: Thank you.

C: Bobby's like, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier," and Sam's like, "No, you're right! We take you for granted!" Dean's like, "You've been helping us for so long, and we would be dead without you!" And then Bobby says, "Okay, then. Let's roll credits on this chick flick." And I guess I was literally just making fun of them for having emotions earlier, too, but it wasn't gendered, and that's why I'm better. [laughs]

G: Or is it?

C: Or is it?

G: When were we making fun of them having emotions?

C: By saying it in a silly voice. [both laugh]

G: Oh, okay.

C: I think maybe my silly voice is gendered, though. Like, it's higher pitched than my regular voice. Maybe I am the same.

G: I think it's supposed to show childishness. A child would have a higher voice.

C: That's true. Okay, but when we do valley girl accents when we're making fun of them, I think that is gendered.

G: What is a valley girl accent?

C: Like, "[honestly sounds more New York than valley girl] Oh my god!" or whatever. No, not that.

G: This is the first time I've heard you use that voice.

C: Not exactly that, but like, I don't think that was a valley girl accent. I need to review what a valley girl accent is.

G: I think you have a valley girl accent just fundamentally.

C: In general?

G: Yeah? You think that's not true?

C: I don't think that's true. [G: Okay.] Maybe it's true. Yeah, so Bobby says that- No, you're right. They are weird about Scotland because he says, "Try some of the local grub. I hear it's exotic." What does that mean?

G: Yeah. They have that sausage thing, right? It's blood or something? Which is normal schnormal in many places.

C: Yeah, I don't know. Something. Dean's just going to Olive Garden. Good call. Their all you can eat deal is good.

G: You know what? They should have said they should try the whiskey there, which they should have. They're whiskey enthusiasts!

C: That's true. The thing is, they just drink to have alcohol. I don't think they're that into having like good stuff. [G: Fancy stuff.] After finally hanging up, Bobby has cut out a piece of the cobbler. He's sat down with his fork. He's ready to eat it, but the phone rings. And he answers it, and it's back to same old, same old, pretending to be the FBI. And it's so sad that he'll never be able to eat the cobbler because he never learned how to fucking multitask. [G: Yeah.] The end!

G: I mean it also- I think it's supposed to be like, "Yeah, same old, same old, but he doesn't have this burden burdening him anymore." [C: That's true.] Which is nice.

C: He doesn't have this burden burdening him anymore, but he'll also never have a normal life where he gets to eat a cobbler! And that woman won't go out with him because he's a hunter, and he sprayed her all with blood.

G: I mean, I think no, the point is that, you know, you can have this life-changing thing happen to you, and you just go back to your life, and it's still your life, which is pretty nice, I think.

C: Yeah. But the fact that he's like, "Oh, of course this is how it turns out" when she turns down his "I'll come over for dinner" thing.

G: But he's not like, upset. He's not upset at this point in this episode.

C: He's not upset, but I think that the general whole thing is like, you're supposed to feel bad for him because he can't have a normal life, and that normal life by woman thing, you know?

G: Are you? I think it's excellent when someone is pursuing you, or you're pursuing someone, and it falls apart, and you're like, "Now it's done, and I can go back to my life." [laughs] which is what's happening to Bobby.

C: So you think he was really, really happy about it?

G: Well, I mean, he was- I think there is a feeling of like, "Oh, new thing, new thing, new thing. My new thing's over. I can go back to my life."

C: But he's not happy about it.

G: Is he not? He looks fine.

C: [laughing] He's upset during the episode. He's often upset.

G: No, he's upset because there's this fucking time that's ticking for him, and his soul is gonna be taken to Hell and tortured forever, and now that's done, and he's fine.

C: Yeah, no, it's done, it's fine, but he also can't eat a cobbler, and he's been trying to for many times throughout the episode.

G: This is true. But I thought it was like, you know, like at the end of a sitcom, and you're like, "Silly me!" Like that kind of thing. [laughs]

C: I think we're supposed to be sad about it.

G: Really? Who even likes a peach cobbler?

C: Because he tries so much to eat the cobbler. It's a real storyline.

G: Just take a bite while you answer the phone.

C: I agree, and I think that they could have done that as like a, "He's still able to have joys and little things in life while pursuing this life," but like, they don't have him do that to be like, "His life is so hard."

G: I think it would be fine if he delivers a sentence and then takes a bite, which I think will be fun!

C: I agree, but they didn't, because they were trying to say something else.

G: Yeah. Well, that's it for this episode. [both laugh]

G: Best Line/Worst Line?

C: It's- yeah. God! There were lines? I'm sure I laughed at points.

G: I do love Rufus this episode, so I think my best line should go to him.

C: Oh yeah!

G: I would say I love when Bobby goes, "Woodchipper," and Rufus takes a pause and goes, "Okey-dokey. Woodchipper. That can do it." They're very cute.

C: He's so charming! [G: Yeah.] I like when Bobby says that he's not asking for Rufus's help, and Rufus says, "I ain't asking for your permission."

G: Yeah, that is good. And you know what? I do think it's fascinating that both of them play the role of like, grumpy old guy, but Rufus is charming and charismatic, and Bobby's just there. [both laugh] I'm so sorry. It's true, though.

G: Yeah. It's because Rufus smiles, and Bobby doesn't.

G: Yeah, Rufus is like, he's more expressive, I suppose, [C: Yeah.] in both the bad and the good aspects of his feelings.

C: And Rufus is also hot, and Bobby isn't. [both laugh]

G: Yeah, well, worst line. I don't like when the demon is flirting with Bobby, 'cause Bobby's not hot. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] And that's the only reason. I think there's like- When Dean says that- well, that's in character, but when he says he's "baring his soul like a frigging girl" in combination with Bobby bringing out the chick flick line at the end.

G: Yeah, they do love to do that. [C: Yeah.] Spreadsheets?

C: Yeah. Alright. Misogyny? It's there.

G: It's there. Two? I do think Dean and Bobby's girl comments and then the portrayal of the demon, so.

C: And also Marcy.

G: Oh, yeah! I suppose Marcy, the thing that they do with Marcy is fundamental to the episode. [C: Yeah. 3?] So I would say a 3.

C: Yeah. Racism?

G: I don't think so.

C: I don't think so. Well, was the okami a little bit? I don't know.

G: Oh. Yes, I would say 1 point.

C: Alright, 1 point.

G: We're allowed. We're Busty Asian Beauties: A Supernatural Commentary Podcast.

C: Yeah. [both laugh] We're allowed to overweight things that happen with Asian people. Just like our breasts.

G: Just like our what?

C: I said our breasts.

G: Ugh!

C: We can cut that. Homophobia. Is the making fun of Crowley for wearing a skirt thing- I don't know. Homophobia and transmisogyny is always pretty combined in Supernatural.

G: I'll give it a 1.

C: IMDb. People like this episode. I know that people like this episode. Do they like it enough to stop hating Season 6 so much? It's like, back to regular Supernatural rating.

G: Well, I'm the first one who's going to guess, and I would say yes. I'm giving this an 8.6.

C: Okay. I was thinking 8.5, but also, that might be, I don't know, I think I want to go higher, because I feel like I know this episode's really liked. But also, every time we've gone high, it's been wrong 'cause people hate Season 6. I'll just go with my initial instinct of 8.5.

G: Okay, let's see. Ha.

C: Watch it be a fucking 9.

G: It's a 9.1.

C: We're so wrong about everything, always.

G: Well, I'm righter, so.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, people really love this episode. People do like it when you go outside of the typical format.

G: Yeah. "Absolute gem of Season 6. The second best episode overall."

C: What's the first?

G: Overall what? Over all of the show? [C: Maybe.] They said that gag with Garth is wonderful. So true. I do love it. I suppose that is also a favorite line of mine if I were to choose two.

C: Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. "Bobby and Crowley were such a good break from the boys. I love them, but sometimes it's a bit much." Real. "There are some very disturbing scenes (the demon execution in Bobby's basement) and some very funny scenes (the woman)."

G: What the fuck is the woman?

C: Marcy? Do they mean Marcy? [G laughs]

G: They love the movie Drag Me to Hell and is very glad that it was mentioned.

G: "The only thing I'm asking myself: Does this episode solve the problem Dean and Sam had all Season 2 in just one Episode?" What the fuck was your problem in Season 2?

C: Like they could burn Azazel’s bones?

G: Oh. Hell yeah. They could. But isn't Azazel a Prince of Hell?

C: Crowley is the king of Hell.

G: No, but like, a Prince of Hell means you're old as fuck.

C: Oh, maybe.

G: Yeah. They were going international.

C: Oh my god, wait! This is so fun! Someone rated this 10 out of 10, said "I'd been waiting for this and didn't know it," and then at the end, they say, "Now can someone tell me if there's one like it for Castiel? That would be worth continuing to watch..." I can't wait for this person to have probably already gone to "Man Who Would Be King."

G: Yeah. Let's give it a like. I'll make it helpful. Oh, no, it's asking me to sign up for an account! [C: You need an account.] Fuck off!

C: Oh my god, this is their only review on IMDb.

G: Oh my god, they reviewed "We Go Together." "We Go Together"? They review- [C: What?] No, sorry. I thought they reviewed Much Ado About Nothing [both laughing], but I'm just looking at my recently viewed.

C: Incredibly funny. My last ones before the last two Supernatural episodes are Crazy Rich Asians, Jimmy O. Yang, and Love Hard. [both laugh]

G: No, yeah. We can see the journey and the destination.

That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 6, Episode 5: "Live Free or Twihard." [C: Hell yeah.] Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. And... wait, I didn't open our sticky note for what this last part is. I thought I knew it. I don't. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript #hiiiiiiiii everyone sorry that this took 6 weeks. the pace will pick up here at crystal's transcript factory though i prommy #goal is basically to do one a day until we're caught up but that might be overambitious #okay bye off to transcribing more. sending heart emojis to you all!

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uterialmotive-blog · 7 months ago

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Book Review: Bookishly Ever After

TITLE: Bookishly Ever After

AUTHOR: Mia Page

SUMMARY:

Two rival bookstore owners. One chance for a happily ever after…

Bookshop owner Lexi Austen’s problems are stacking up. Her dating life is a mess and Sam Dickens – devastatingly handsome, arrogant, and fiercely competitive rival bookshop owner – is hellbent on stealing all of her customers.

Frustrated, Lexi turns to her shelves for answers. And what have the classics taught her? That when lovers start as enemies, there’s no distraction quite like love…

Lexi plots to charm Sam: she invites him to a ball (well, a party), drags him to a dance class (does it matter if it’s not a quadrille?) and swoons into his arms while taking a turn in the park (note: next time, make sure he isn’t holding a hot drink).

As their rivalry reaches scorching levels, it’s not just Lexi’s beloved bookshop at stake, but her heart too…

A charming, bookish enemies-to-lover romance, perfect for fans of Emily Henry’s Book Lovers and Sally Thorne's The Hating Game.

*REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*

I have really gotten into books about book nerds recently - I suppose because it's easy to relate to something that appeals to me so much. I was really excited to read Bookishly Ever After as it sounded a bit like You've Got Mail and, let's be honest, who doesn't love You've Got Mail.

I struggled to get into this book for quite a while and even after Sam and Lexi began getting on, it still seemed a bit boring. I stuck with it though because, in the grand scheme of enemies to lovers, they got together quite early on. Things started getting interesting after around the 50% mark and I was glad I stayed with it until it started getting better.

This book felt very dialogue light. I was really looking forward to some hot enemy banter but there wasn't much in the way of this as a lot of the story was focused on Lexi's inner thoughts and her issues with the bookshop.

I think it's important for me to focus on my favourite part of this story - the bookshop. I cried when it seemed that there was absolutely no way out for Lexi other than to sell the bookshop and I really liked the relationships she had with her staff and with the shop itself. I felt this was so well written and it made me want to visit this fictional shop. I hate to say that this was probably the only part of the book that I loved.

On to the bad -

Sam is actually kind of a dick. So, Lexi and Sam sleep together and his response to her wanting to woo him in a "Jane Austen" way was to try and ruin her financially. He did not act like a reasonable human being and just came off as a huge bag of red flags. He then had his ex-girlfriend working at his bookshop, serving drinks, talking in "we/us" and at no point felt the need to let Lexi know that there wasn't anything going on there, until she asked him about it. There was also absolutely zero point to Amanda being introduced. It worked well enough that Sam had an ex who had really hurt him by attempting to use him for his family's money, it served no purpose her being in the story other than to create a bit more drama.

And what was the point of Erin? OK, she appeared and gave some advice when needed but to be annoyed and visibly "frustrated" with your best friend because they have completely blown off by the guy she likes on top of potentially losing a business that was left to her by her grandmother, meaning she would have to leave the country that she thought of as home, all because Erin just got engaged and wants to stay in her loved up little bubble? Absolutely not. Erin definitely came across as one of those friends who wants to know you when things are good but not when things are bad.

I feel like I need to mention again what a dick Sam is. He stole ideas that Lexi shared with him while they were (sort of) in a relationship, purposely competed against her, let her believe he was bac with his ex-girlfriend and just generally acted like an absolute douche, and then ha the fucking audacity to be upset when she said that he had to leave because of him? When he had literally run her out of business??? On purpose?????

Overall, I was not a lover of this book, although that was more due to the walking red flags that Lexi seemed to surround herself with. I would be willing to read by this author again but probably not an enemies to lovers. I am definitely of the opinion that Sam and Lexi should have remained enemies. Did I mention that Sam is a dick?

Tropes:

- Enemies to lovers

- Business rivals

- Book nerds

- Bookshop owners

- Brit in the US

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

#bookishly ever after #mia page #netgalley #book review #enemies to lovers #book nerds #booklr

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undertale-data · 3 years ago

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[Image Description: an Undertale chat box with the name "PAPYRUS", in all caps and Papyrus font, in its center. On its left is a talksprite of Papyrus sweating anxiously, and on its right is a talksprite of Papyrus wearing sunglasses. End I.D.]

The Great Papyrus is the most popular Undertale character among the fans surveyed here. 19.6% of responders chose him as their favorite. That’s a total of 519 fans! (Wowie!!)

Not all Papyrus fans are unified on his characterization, however. The most obvious divide was between fans who call him a “cinnamon roll” or “precious baby,” and those who find these takes infantilizing. A lot of people like the friendliness and optimism of this character, while others recognize this but highlight his maturity too. Fans who worry about his infantilization seem most concerned with how he can be portrayed as naive or dumb by the fandom. A portion of fans specifically mentioned this naivety as a point in his favor, though the marginally more popular take seems to be that he is not naive, regardless of how he first appears. This fandom divide seems to relate to Papyrus’s autistic or ADHD coding. Many fans relate to him as ADHD and autistic themselves.

Fans also related to him in his desire for friends. Many responders think of him as a friend and a comfort character, so at least in one way his wish has been fulfilled.

The phone calls were a major reason that fans said they felt connected to Papyrus. Thanks to these calls, he has the most dialogue of any character in the game. His humor and dialogue were often highlighted as favorite qualities.

While fans may disagree on some aspects of Papyrus’s personality, it is clear that his fans all value his optimism and kindness. His fans do not see his kindness as weakness. Many talked about the complexity of his character and the strength it took for him to show mercy to the player character, even when the player doesn’t show it in return. He believes in himself, and he believes in you! This kindness and trust has inspired his fans to be kinder themselves.

Papyrus fans were also drawn to his mysteriousness. Several responses pointed out that he is a more mysterious character than Sans, who is also often loved for his mystery. As shown in the phone calls, Papyrus will put on fronts depending on who he is around, making it even more difficult for fans to uncover his secrets. Some people in other sections of the survey found this frustrating, but Papyrus fans tend to see it as another point in his favor.

Among the greatest proportion of responses were from fans who couldn’t choose a favorite trait, or who just love everything about Papyrus. While these responses may be less lengthy, they are still as full of love as the essay-length answers. These responses tended to say phrases like “cool dude” or “Papyrus my beloved” or “THE GREAT PAPYRUS.”

(You were overcome by writing about such a handsome skeleton. He understands.)

Highlights: (under the cut)

Honestly Papyrus just feels like joy. Funny, incredibly kind, with a few mysteries/weird quirks about him that are fun to ponder over. I especially love how he often acts proud and self aggrandizing without putting others down, and in fact sometimes uses that to lift his friends up alongside him. You don't see this take on proud characters often.

Papyrus is strong. Strong in body, but also morally strong. He knows what is right, what it means to be merciful and kind, even in the face of danger or death. Some think him naive. And yet, even facing death and seeing the dust of those he knew, he did not falter or turn from his ideals of mercy and change for the better.

BECAUSE HE IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS

His optimism and his overall personality is endearing! You're always having fun with him :D

He's meeting all of my standards.

Papyrus is very under appreciated, and overlooked, and it's very frustrating to me—he's a complex character but people treat him like he's a baby!!! I like him because he's kind of goofy with how he talks and he's just very charming and kind.

He's weirder than Sans, and it wasn't acknowledged for years because he acts oblivious and dumb, even when he's clearly not. Quite frankly, I find it iconic. Also, his entire personality helps a lot.

I'm ND, trans, and projecting!

OK SO he's just a friendly guy!! A dude who likes cooking for his friends!! We love a hype man!! Also smart as hell and I feel like fanon majorly overlooks this. Making good, fun puzzles is HARD and setting up a flamethrower to go off wirelessly is complicated. Like even if that bridge puzzle didn't go off the components were complicated. Love that cool dude!!!!

I heavily relate to Papyrus as a character and consider him my favorite fictional character of all time. He is a very well-written and thought out character with several quirks and layers in his personality. It is headcanoned by some (myself included) that Papyrus may possibly be on the Autism Spectrum due to his nature, his interactions with others, and overall how he displays himself to the world we see.

I could talk about Papyrus forever, and you have made a grave mistake in allowing me to do so. He is a charming, strong spirited, well intentioned, complex character that is often wildly misinterpreted, and I think originally this is why I was drawn to him. He is presented as one thing and in fact acts as one thing (though not the same way as presented by fandom), and in reality when you look closer than you are meant to he is not, in fact, any of these things. It was intriguing to me. Secondly, and rather contradictorily, another thing that drew me to him is that he is very true to himself, when it comes to idiosyncrasies and moral values. It's true that he does not offer much in the way of personal backstory and feelings, but he offers very much indeed in the way of personality. What a guy! He wears silly crop tops and bright colors, he speaks in a manner specific to him that sometimes doesn't make sense, he cares about something or someone and goes whole hog with it -- he's passionate, damn it! I love him and his weirdo, goofy self with all my heart. He cares about other people to a fault, too. He would sacrifice everything to help someone, and his belief in the potential of both others and himself is indomitable. When faced with the responsibility of a kingdom, his friends gone, his brother lying to him, and himself all alone without a reliable support system, he recognized what he was facing and still bucked up and became determined to get through it. When faced with a murderous, over powerful enemy, someone who had killed many of his friends and fellow monsters, someone who had repeatedly been rude and borderline aggressive and showed no signs of stopping, he saw that they were having difficulty and offered to help and to care for them, and didn't regret his decision or change his opinion on what they needed and their potential for change, even when quite literally killed by them a moment after. Even in death, even directly after a betrayal like that, he never stops believing that they can get better, that anyone can be a good person if they want to be. That's important, I think; that concept of giving people the chances they need to grow and to change. I have a tattoo of that moment on my thigh, it's that important to me. I guess I really like Papyrus because even though he is fictional, watching him out there makes it easy to believe in people, in our inherent goodness and desire to love each other. He makes it easy to see that we can change, that no matter what you've done in the past or who you currently are, no one is inherently a bad person, and no one is incapable of learning how to be a good one. It is just a step by step process that we have to take day by day.

[Image Description: A wordcloud shaped like Papyrus. His gloves, boots, and cape are red; his Battle Body is blue, yellow, and white; and his bones are white. Some of the most visible words are: Kind, Love, Good, Cool, Relate, Funny, Friend, Mystery, and Papyrus. These are the words that responders mentioned most in their essays about him. End I.D.]

Read the full list of responses shared with permission by clicking this link! (The document is 25 pages long, so you may want to make a copy to prevent lagging.)

#papyrus #character analysis #undertale #undertale fandom census #results

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julies-butterflies · 3 years ago

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I must admit, sometimes I do feel like a ye olden solider, sending letters to my beloved across the waves during wartime. Oh my dearest Lydia, I hope the kudos and comments crops have been plentiful this season. Your last letter left me weeping. Why must you put poor Reginald through such pain?

(I gotta admit, I still can't believe that I'm talking to you. I've been looking up to your work for so long...it just feels a bit surreal, even now! Glad you like hearing my ramblings! And that you liked my vampire prompt! Did not realize you'd write back when I sent that in. Look at us now, huh?)

(Speaking of prompts, I sent those jukebox and willex ones too. And I loved them both so so much, I shall scream about them more when it is not 2 am because I need sleep)

(Oh and the update of If I Was You!!! Amazing, Stellar, Incredible, Reggie, Carrie, Julie shenanigans is my new favorite thing, DID YOU JUST DOUBLE THE CHAPTER COUNT, and I'm like 90% sure Trevor is in deep trouble with a certain angry jazz ghost. Seriously loving it)

I actually do not remember what it was like to send in 1/5 asks, because I did not get a Tumblr until very reccently! I've always been a nerdy person, but Jatp is my first time being really in a fandom. You gotta do something new in quarantine, right?

Ah yes. Luke and Emily. To me, it just seems obvious that there's so much love between them. Even with all the pain. You get it. You put it down so eloquently.

As for what kind of stories I like to read...it seriously depends on my mood.

I like niche aus, passion projects. Stories where you can just feel the author's love for the world they're inventing. But I tend to lean towards cannonverse. I like ghost stories, it's what drew me to this show in the first place. And I love exploring that concept. (Being forever gone, and always the same...it's just fascinating to me)

Platonic goodness is just WONDERFUL for this show. I will read anything with cuddles. I am touched starved and these kiddos are too, and I will cry about them puppy piling every damn day. Plus there's just some much POTENTIAL for future friendships! I love ones where Flynn and Carrie get to interact with the boys as well. And 90s content, from before and after the orpheum, just hits hard.

I really wasn't expecting to get invested in the couples on this show, but something about them is moving to me. So I do love to read about them. Watching two queer kids who lived during incredibly important areas of queer history find love together after death really hit hard for me, and there's just something so bittersweet about a girl and ghost deciding to love each other for the little time they're given.

I love family dynamics too. Anything with Ray and his seven disaster children, the band and Trevor.... I think Julie and Emily is one of my favorite dynamics to explore. A girl who lost her mother and a mother who lost her son, both grieving but with one able to speak to the dead...it's just very powerful to me.

(And of course, Luke and Emily, but I figured you already knew that)

Mostly...I like seeing the messy stuff. The unexpected consequences, the baggage. I want to see the messy emotions, the grief and anger, the jealously, the disorientation. I look for those glass shards, that might be too sharp to ever be addressed on the show. Not even the big, monumental plot lines just... the harder pieces of life, the little moments that don't fit neatly into a nine episode arc.

I just want to see them live you know? Love, laughter and loss all mixed together.

(One of my all time favorite tropes is "found family gets broken apart by trauma, only to find each other again and come back stronger than ever." I feel like this explains a lot of my taste in fiction)

Thank you for the writing advice. Your words were very motivating. I am trying to begin! I got up the nerve to start working on a little piece. Who knows if it will go anywhere. But it's been nice, to finally put some words on the page.

The POTC au is so freaking good man. The character dynamics are just on FIRE. Everything is broken and messy and the relationships genuinely tug at my heartstrings. It's such a fascinating story. Highly recommend, even with the cliff hangers.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET PAWPRINTER? Man oh man I love all her work. The wheelies art and steals universe is freaking amazing, not an avacado had me in tears (of laughter, till things got surprisingly sad). And All that Remains...slow burn Willex perfection. Jedi Alex and Pilot Willie have my HEART.

I don't think I've read firefall and weneedglitter (or if I have, I'm just not connecting the names to their pieces. I don't always remember author names. it's a problem). I will go look for them though! Cannot wait!

For more recs, I recently binge read We Found Wonderland. I was not mentally prepared for the sheer amount of feelings that gave me. Highly recommend, if you ever want an emotional rollercoaster with an incredibly satisfying end.

Going on to more serious subjects...I'm sorry your family doesn't see your grief for what it is: honest. Better to feel everything quietly, than make it an easily understadnable performance. Fake grief is so easy to spot.

I think of that scene from "Forever," when Buffy breaks down and tells Dawn that she has to keep busy, because if she stops, it means Joyce is really gone. There's a lot of truth there.

On a tangent here but.. there was a very long period in my life when I was told the ways I expressed my emotions were "incorrect". And I found that sometimes, no matter how you show your emotions, you'll always be criticized. Numbness can be called disinterest, but sobbing can be called attention-seeking too. Too big, too small: that jury was impossible to please This may not apply in your situation but...it's okay to feel however you can. It's the only think you can do, really.

As I've said before, Grief is such an odd trickster.

Don't you ever get tired of missing people... This past year, I've been so weary of grief. Sometimes it can be so sharp, but it's that dull ache. That ball and chain, no longer cutting through your skin, but rubbing it raw, weighing you down.

And people don't like to talk about that part, because it's long and tiresome, but oh, is it there. I find it hard to talk about my grief, because sometimes there's just so much of it. I could drown in it, and that fear keeps me from looking to close. To incorrectly quote Jane Austin: "If I missed you a little less, I might be able to talk about it more."

(Sometimes it's faceable. But sometimes you just can't bear it. And that's okay.)

But what you wrote in that eulogy...the love is there. It's in every word you write. I cried reading that section. I feel honored once again to see some of your jagged pieces. You're sharing your heart, and there's just so much love.

In the wise words of an author I know, "Love is like the snow Reggie. It never goes away."

And don't worry, I'm always with you.

Sending Love,

-LydiaStan7845 (aka Vampire Anon)

So...that Reggie and Nicky prompt

my god

my GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I think it's safe to say congrats, you've officially destroyed me! I was not prepared for that at ALL. I should know better by now I guess.

I can't get over that even though they all take place in very different universe, all your stories just feel so connected! The way this talked about those headphones, which you mentioned in the first chapter of Kill Your Heroes...it's just so cool. All the characterization and backstory is just so well thought out, and it genuinely blows my mind.

I didn't think I could love Nicky Peters more. I was wrong. The way you write about him...even though you never go into exactly what happened to him after Reggie's death, you can just feel how much it's shapped him as a person. And the trauma around his father, and how he fears becoming like that, was just so beautifully written. He's just so lovable and flawed and trying so damn hard and you made my heart ache for him. Again.

You always take these genuinely crazy situations and...you just make them feel so real. I love you explore the strains such a revelation would put on Nicky's own life, it just makes everything so compellingly messy. It seriously feel like I was watching a real-life account of a family trying to deal with such a massive complication.

That porch scene had me in tears both times I read it. Reggie's just always a big brother, even though Nicky is more than twice his age now. My heart was shattered, and then you slowly mended it, piece by piece. And for absolutely no reason at all, you wouldn't happen to have a reference for the porch, would you?

Just wow. Hope you're doing well. Sending love and applause

-Vampire Anon

i’m not even gonna reply, but i want these documented... on my blog... for posterity. ( for any curious onlookers, i’m dating this anon now!! )

#vampire anon my beloved

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wickedbarnes · 5 years ago

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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not | John Wick x Reader

PROMPT: Hanahaki Disease AU! Reader realizes she's in love with John but John, on the other hand, can't reciprocate the feelings because he's still in love with Helen. And so, reader begins to cough blood red rose petals...

WARNING: Major angst. Blood. Get your tissues ready.

NOTE: This is my take on the fictional disease so please don't attack me if some of the concepts of it is wrong. I just did it so there would be more impact to the story. An explanation for my take on the Hanahaki will be provided down below at the end of the oneshot to avoid any confusions. Other than that, please enjoy!

If there was one thing you hated doing, it was breaking promises. And you rarely did it unless it was really necessary. But you hated it when you did. And this... this was a promise you swore you would never break. But here you were, staring down at your bloody palm, examining the rose petals that stuck to your skin.

A lone tear cascaded down your cheek as you wiped the blood from your lips.

It finally got to you. The disease. The same disease that had killed your beloved Mother. And you were sure it was the same one that was going to kill you.

You vividly remembered how your Mother would gush about how beautiful love was. How magical it is and how you'd feel as if you were floating when you experienced it. And in a way, she has a point. But not everything was easy.

Because along with love comes pain. The pain of a broken heart. And as you grew up you realized that love was only beautiful when it was reciprocated. When the person you love is in love with you as well. But like your mom, you weren't so lucky.

You had no one but John now. When your Mother died of the Hanahaki Disease, you swore- vowed, rather, that you would never fall in love. But that was, until John.

The moment you saw the man, you could tell just how miserable he seemed but there was something about him that just drew you in. He charmed women without even noticing it. And so you did the unthinkable and was bold enough to go ask him what drink he wanted and that it was on you.

You worked as a bartender in the Red Circle. And when you spotted John you had no idea what type of man he was and what type of world he lives in. But even after that, you didn't care. You still stuck with him.

And you didn't even plan on doing so. You just wanted to give the man something to look forward to. Something to give him a little boost. But when chaos broke and you were almost shot by Viggo's men, John was brave enough to catch the bullet himself before the rest of them ran out thinking they had finally killed the Baba Yaga.

That night, you couldn't just leave him there dying. You had insisted he goes to the hospital but he told you not to and instructed you to take him to the Continental. The hotel where you didn't even know housed assassins like him. You didn't know why but you had stayed with him the whole while he was being patched up despite the fact he kept telling you to leave because it would be dangerous.

But the stubborn person you are, you decided to stay. And the rest was history from there.

You felt it creep up on you. You could tell because you felt the same itch in your throat that didn't seem to go away ever since your feelings for John got stronger. But the moment you realized you were in love with him, fate had finally decided to give you a sign that the feelings you have for the man just wasn't mutual.

And in a way, you kind of understood why. The wedding band on John's finger was proof of that. It was the proof of his undying love for his late wife, Helen. Who were you to compete with that?

The whole situation caused you to let a laugh under your breath. How ironic. John Wick never intends on hurting you. And yet here he was, being the reason why you're ill today.

---

"Y/N, you need to rest, you've been coughing all day and you don't look too good. I can handle it from here." John tried to approach you but you instinctively moved away from him and sat down on the couch yourself. Your reaction took him aback but he quickly regained his composure and sat down next to you but made sure to give you some distance.

You were pretty sure the handkerchief you were coughing into was full of blood by now and you prayed no petal would fall off or it would only worry John even more. You suspected he knows about the disease as well.

Day by day, it was getting hard for you to breathe. You knew the plant inside your lungs was growing and every night you had battled and hoped it wouldn't be your last night. Even sleeping had come to terrify you. You were afraid you wouldn't wake up anymore.

"Y/N, are you alright? You're not telling me what's going on, I have to know so I can take care of you." John would say, concern written all over his face and your heart ached at the sight because you knew he only meant that as a friend.

"I'm fine, John, I'll be okay I told you it's just allergies." You sighed and stood up to get a glass of water when you felt the familiar itch on your throat creeping up again. But the moment you took a step forward, you leaned forward and began to heave as you wretched out blood along with rose petals on John's floor.

You somehow felt embarrassed but your body fell on the floor as you kept throwing up blood. John was almost sure he would've had a heart attack with what he saw. He immediately went over to you and rubbed your back, panic beginning to creep up in his body.

This was like when Helen was ill.

When you were finished throwing up, you opened your mouth to apologize but you found yourself going limp and passing out in John's arms.

John looked at the blood and rose petals that were smeared all over his floor. The realization hit him like a truck as his face began to go pale. He looked down at your unconscious body in horror.

"Y/N, what the hell..."

---

John couldn't even fathom looking at you like this. Pale and sickly looking. He hadn't noticed just how much you had lost weight and how horrible the bags under your eyes looked. You were always with him but he was too caught up in work that he barely had time to see how his friend was doing.

He knew about the Hanahaki disease. John remembered how someone in Ruska Roma died because of it. But he never expected you to get it.

The assassin pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the uncomfortable plastic chair. Who the hell were you in love with? You had never mentioned anyone from work that caught your eye. Nor did you introduce anyone to John. The idea of someone being the root of all this caused him to clench his fists until his knuckles turned white.

Whoever it was that didn't love you back, John was sure he was going to get a piece of his damn mind.

John's thoughts were cut off when the doctor came in and greeted him with a polite smile. When he looked at Y/N's records, the doctor let out a sigh and John knew this wasn't a good sign.

"Does she have family?" The doctor, Dr. Mercer had asked to which John responded by shaking his head no.

"I'm the only one she has now." Dr. Mercer nodded.

"Mr. Wick, I'm gonna be honest. Miss Y/L/N is in critical condition. The amount of blood that she threw up was very alarming. I'm sure you're aware of the Hanahaki Disease?" John nodded solemnly at the question and never took his eyes off you.

"Well, the plant inside her lungs is growing more and more. And it won't be long until it fully suffocates her. Looking at her x-rays right here, you can see that the plant is almost corrupting her lungs fully." Dr. Mercer showed your x-ray scan to John to which he took carefully and it only made the situation even real.

Was he going to lose another important person in his life? He already lost Helen and Daisy. He only has Dog now. Could he really lose you, too?

"Is there a cure to this?"

"There is. But... both of them aren't as easy as they sound." John looked up at the doctor with a confused look causing Dr. Mercer to sigh.

"In order to cure the patient, the person she's in love with has to love her back. And I don't mean platonic love. I mean, real genuine love. If that doesn't work, then we can surgically remove the root of the plant from her lungs."

John perked up at the mention of surgical removal of the plant. Obviously, whoever this person is didn't love you enough to even cure you. John felt that option two was the only logical option left. Or else, you'd die.

"I think I'd like the plant to be surgically removed from her."

"Mr. Wick, I think the patient has to decide for that. Because even though it could cure her, it would erase everything she felt and remembered about the person. Once the operation is done and successful, that person never existed for her. And unfortunately, Y/N here would be stripped away of the ability to experience romantic love. The removal of the root will cause that as well."

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Y/N won't experience romantic love anymore? He looked at your frail body and put a hand over his face. He'd heard Dr. Mercer excuse himself but all John could think of was how he was going to save you.

He doesn't want you to live up your life not knowing how it feels to be in love and be loved by the person you're in love with. But if you don't do anything about this, you'd be six feet underground and time was slowly running out.

John's thoughts abruptly stopped when he noticed you waking up from a deep sleep. You had been out of it for about fourteen hours.

You fluttered your eyes open and took in your surroundings. Your throat felt really dry and you could use a tall drink of water. Looking around, your eyes soon fell on John who stood up from his chair and smiled softly down at you.

Your heart fluttered at how beautiful he is. You almost mistook him for an angel.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly and brushed away some of your hair away from your face. His touch sent shivers down your spine and in a way, it hurt for him to be here. He was so gentle and patient. Was he like that with Helen? Or was he even more loving when it came to her?

"Like death." You laughed softly as you averted your eyes to the glass of water that was sitting on the table beside your bed, "Can I get a drink, please?"

John immediately took the glass of water and helped you sit up from your bed so you could drink. You were dehydrated from the amount of blood you just threw up hours ago. John gently patted your head when he saw that you drank all of the water from the glass.

"Good girl." He'd praise you and your heart swelled at it but it made you cough a bit.

John sat back down on the plastic chair but brought it closer by your bed as he looked at you in the eye.

"Y/N, who did this to you?" He asked. It took you about a minute to figure out what he was on about. And then you remembered the disease. Your situation probably took a turn for the worse and you assumed what had happened earlier almost scared John to death.

"Y/N." John sighed. "You're one of my most trusted friend. The only friend I probably trust with my whole life, really. But you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. You're dying, honey, and someone is the cause of all this and it's frustrating that I don't know who it is."

It's you, you wanted to say but the words didn't come out the way you wanted them to. You didn't want to see the look on John's face when you laid out the truth. Even now, on the verge of death, you were afraid of what he'd think. You knew he has a lot on his plate and he's just getting the chance to finally grieve for Helen. You didn't want nor had the heart to tell him that he's the reason why you're dying.

"It's no one, John, he-" You pursed your lips and let out a breath as you looked down at your hands that were slightly stained with your own blood, "He went away he- he loves someone else and that's all you need to know."

John nodded and although he was frustrated you didn't tell him everything, you knew it was just because you didn't wanna dive back into the fact that this person didn't reciprocate the feelings you felt. So he understood.

"Y/N, Dr. Mercer gave me two options so you could be cured and he-"

"John, I can't be cured, he doesn't love me." You said firmly and it felt so different saying it in front of him like this when he has no idea it was him all along that you were in love with.

"I know, darling, I know." He grabbed your hand comfortingly and you almost hated him for acting like this when all along you knew it was just platonic. You were just a friend to him. Nothing more and nothing less.

"But then he told me about option two. Option two is that you can get the plant surgically removed from your lungs." You perked up at hearing this.

You never knew it could get surgically removed. Your mother never told you. So why didn't she do it?

"W-What? What do you mean I can get it surgically removed?" You asked as tears began to fill your eyes but John was patient enough to talk you through it.

"You can, it's possible. But it's not that easy, Y/N." He let out another sigh before looking up at your tear filled eyes, "When the operation is successful, all the memories you have of that person will be gone. Including your feelings for him. It was like he never existed. Apart from that, once the plant is removed from your body, you ability to experience romantic love wouldn't be there anymore."

Tears cascaded down your cheeks. Not because you wouldn't be able to fall in love again. But because the thought of forgetting John scared you so much. Were you going to remember him again? Can he reintroduce himself again to you? Or should you not go through with option two?

At that moment, you finally realized why your mother never had the plant inside her get removed. It was far more painful than anything else.

---

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jonathan." Winston would say as he poured a drink for the assassin and John just nodded at him in thanks.

"Some things are beyond our control." John replied as he took a big gulp of his drink. He needed it right now after all.

He just came back from the hospital and that was the first time in a while John had felt so overwhelmed. The hatred he had for himself just increased a ton.

You decided to go through with the operation after giving it a deep thought for a the whole day. John was happy. Although you weren't able to experience romantic love anymore, he assured you he'd be by your side every step of the way. Just like you had been for him.

But what came next almost made him collapse down to his knees.

Aurelio decided to pay you a little visit when your operation was done. He had found out about what had happened from John and you knew the man well enough that he could give you discounts whenever your car had problems.

When it was time for visitors, John felt ecstatic. You were alive. He wasn't losing someone important from him again. When they got inside the room, you had already woken up and had a nurse slowly help you sit up from your bed but the moment your eyes fell on John, he noticed the slight confusion written on your face.

"Y/N, God, I'm so happy the operation was successful." John smiled and tucked a piece of your hair and he noticed how your body stilled from the touch as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

Thhe reaction was weird but John brushed it off and thought that maybe, it was a side effect from the pain killers you'd been taking.

"Aurelio's here and brought you some stuff. You like those cookies from the bakery near his shop, right?" You found yourself nodding slowly at the man's question even though you had no idea who he is.

Who was he? And how does he know your name? How did he know you liked those chocolate chip cookies from that bakery near Aurelio's shop? It was starting to freak you out.

John took notice of your reaction and the nurse excused herself when she was finished checking your vitals. John put a finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him and in your eyes, he saw fear.

You never looked at him like that. Never. Not even once.

"Y/N, darling, what's wrong? Did I do something, why are you-"

"Who are you?" You asked, cutting him off and John looked at Aurelio to see if what he heard was right.

Aurelio looked at him and then back at you with shock written on his face.

"What? Y/N, it's me, John. Your friend, your best friend." John replied but you had no recollection of the man in front of you so you shook your head slowly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so confused I don't know who you are." You apologized shyly and looked at Aurelio. "Aurelio, is he a friend of yours? I really don't remember him, I don't wanna seem so rude."

John stood there in his spot, completely frozen. You remember Aurelio but you had forgotten him. That could only mean one thing...

"Come on, Y/N, stop fooling around this isn't funny. Tell me you're just joking and you know who I am." John's voice was laced with desperation now and you took notice of how his eyes were starting to fill with tears and you had a sense he hated crying in front of people.

Why did you feel so guilty? As if you'd done something wrong?

You looked up at the man apologetically and shook your head at him. "I'm so sorry, John, I really don't know who you are. I believe I just met you. Aurelio would have introduced you to me back then but... I don't remember that he has."

John couldn't take it. Everything was so overwhelming. When he gruffly excused himself you watched as he hurriedly made his way out of your room and Aurelio followed soon after probably to chase after him.

You had no idea of who he was but you could never forget how heartbroken he seemed when he looked at you.

Did you know him before?

John, on the other hand, needed to get out of there and he ignored Aurelio's calls as he got into his car and sped down the road. He felt guilty for leaving you there all alone, probably so confused as to why you were there in the first place but he just needed to have his space.

And so here he was, sharing a drink with Winston.

"You weren't entirely fair with her as well, Jonathan. You couldn't blame her if she hadn't told you."

"I was grieving for my wife." John stated to which Winston replied with a hum.

"But you could've showed her you felt the same way. Maybe told her. Hanahaki disease is a complicated kind of illness. Y/N believed you were still in love with Helen. And maybe you still are. That's why she was on the verge of dying that day. But it could all have been cured if you two had just acted on your feelings right away. A lot of people die from that, you know."

John stayed silent and poured himself another drink.

He had moved on from Helen a year after the whole incident with Viggo and his son. If Helen was alive, she would've wanted John to live his life fully and that was the only way he could honor her. And he did, and that was thanks to you.

You were like a breath of fresh air and John was scared he might ruin the peace that you had in your life. And he kind of did in a way. But you were too stubborn to leave until he just couldn't handle the thought of you leaving.

Like you, it crept up on John and the familiar itch on his throat, as if he was about to cough kept popping out of nowhere. Especially when you were near him. And for a moment, he didn't want to believe he caught it. He couldn't be possibly catching feelings for you it was a dangerous game to play.

John believed everything he touched turns to ash and he wasn't turning you into one. You deserved far more better than that. And it'd be impossible for you to feel the same way about him, he's too damaged to be loved at this point. But it's true when they say that you can't help who you fall in love.

But today, today was different than the others. John placed the glass down and leaned back on his chair and soon leaned forward when he began to cough and cough and cough.

Winston looked at John with an unreadable expression on his face. As if he knew it was coming. Somehow, he felt bad for the man. He had lost his wife and the dog she gave to him. And in a way he lost you even though you were still perfectly alive.

And now the disease had caught up to him.

His hunch was right when he saw the blood on John's palm. John stared down at it and noticed that there were petals of your favorite flower sticking onto his hand along with his own blood.

The assassin stayed silent as he grabbed his handkerchief from his coat and wiped the bloody residue off his skin.

Winston poured the man another drink but this time, he didn't pour himself some. He knew John needed it more than he did.

"Are you going to remove it or not?"

John looked at Winston but the manager took it upon himself to get up from the chair and leave Jonathan alone in the rooftop to decide.

This was all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage, obviously. And John leaned back against the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a tear slip down his cheek.

Was he ready to go? Or will he risk forgetting about you like you did to him?

John realized just how difficult this all was. He realized now that it hurt to have you forget about him completely. Like he was dead to you. But knowing you, you would've made the decision just so you could live for John's sake. He knew you decided to live even though it would be hard on the both of you.

Because in your mind, you probably chose to live and see John again even though you had forgotten about him rather than die and let him live this world all alone without you.

But would it be the same for John? Could he really forget about you? Or was it time for him to go and let you be free?

Either way, as he began to cough once again, he knew that he needed to think fast and decide.

Time is gold and he's slowly running out of that.

---

A/N: I know in some stories this is not how the Hanahaki disease works but this is my take on it. Reader almost died because she believed that John would never love her the way she did. When all along, John was slowly developing feelings for her and while he did, he also didn't believe she'd have feelings for him because he believes he's too damaged to be loved. To put it shortly, my understanding of the Hanahaki is that as long as the protagonist believes the enamoured doesn't love them back, they'll slowly die. But as long as the enamoured confesses to the protagonist, they'll be cured of the disease. And if that doesn't work, the plant can be surgically removed.

The disease caught up to John and the reader because they didn't act upon their feelings and confessed to each other right away. They both believed everything was platonic between them. As a result, they kept it to themselves until it slowly killed them. In other words, this is all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage to say what they really wanted to say to each other.

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