#Just a goof while i work on episode two :]c

[heart-over-heels-official]

Classy working men.💖

[threewaysdivided]

for the ask game: 💥🤔📚

if we can only do one, your pick :)

(Fanfic writer ask game)

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

I've talked about some other changes in a previous ask, but I think Danny Phantom could have been improved by either re-writing the episode Memory Blank or at the very least, cutting a couple of the jokes. The base-premise is potentially interesting but it was definitely one of the ones where the show did characters dirty for the sake of jokes.

If I had to leave it mostly as-is, I would at least want to ditch the two random insert jokes where Danny "remembers" using his powers to peep in the girl's locker room. Not only is the base joke a gross, sexist "boys will be boys" gag, it also just feels really jarring and almost out of character for Danny in particular. That's not to say that Danny isn't canonically chauvinistic in other ways at times, but this one doesn't jive with how he reacts to similar situations (and behaviors from Tucker) in other, more character-centric episodes. The abrupt musical punctuation feels more like a sudden insert of Fairly Odd Parents humour and I would say it's probably only there because this kind of "adorkable misogynist" punchline is a common staple in both Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel's comedy styles.

Ideally though, since the main purpose of the episode is to give Danny his marketable DP insignia, I would rather do a full re-write around all three trio members actively trying to design a logo for Phantom. Rather than doing Danny and Tucker dirty by making them into boring butt-monkeys who live empty lives without Sam (and doing Sam dirty by making her seem like a weird stalker who changes Danny's suit without his knowledge or consent) we could have had an episode that let the icon have actual symbolic meaning for the whole of "Team Phantom". It's sad that one if the most iconic symbols of the show ends up being tacked onto a character assassinating goof-story when there were so many ways it could have been great.

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

Going to go with a soft no on this one.

For one thing, I believe the best stories happen when someone has a specific story to tell, and at the moment my Deathly Weapons fanfic is the main story I feel the need to make exist. As a mystery nerd, I guess I could maybe do a decent detective story involving Batman or Gotham, but on the other hand I don't think it would be the kind of story Modern DC wants to sell.

From a practical point of view, I also think the things and stories I find the most fascinating within the Danny Phantom fandom would probably be too tonally serious to "fit with the brand" of official canon material. (Although it has been awesome to see some of the Phandom olds getting ascended to the level of official canon creators with the AGiT comics!)

As for Young Justice Animated I think I'm one of several fans who wouldn't mind being tagged-in (or at least a fly on the wall) if DC/Warner Bros ever decided to give it the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood treatment, kick Greg Weisman's Whedon-worshipping incel ass out the door and let some of the prominent staff who were dropped after Season 1 have a do-over to continue the story they were actually setting up. I think there was a lot of potential in that initial cast, and there were some really cool character-centric standalone episodes that could have come from things like digging into Artemis and Jade having a diegetic connection to Alice In Wonderland while living in the same city as Jervis "Mad Hatter" Tech. But as it stands, I found Weisman's multi-season vandalisation of his colleagues' work to be so egregious that I ended up blocking both the main series tag and his name for the sake of my blood pressure. Look, even when he's not writing like the kind of man who probably fantasises about impregnating his colleague's daughter, the Nostalgia-Critic-level incompetence at basic narrative coherence is just exhausting.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Many!

For today's tasting, I would like to recommend Developmental Milestones and the broader Cor Et Cerebrum series by @audreycritter. Actually, let's just make that a general rec' for all Audreycritter's DC stuff.

I really like their interpretations of the Batfam and Superfam. They do such a good job of capturing the humanity of these characters in their non-cape moments, and I love their approach to dialogue. I think it speaks volumes to the strength of their character-writing that, despite not being a reader who generally goes in for Original Characters, I have become deeply obsessed with their on-call OC Batdoctor Kiran "Dev" Devabhaktuni. He is indeed the light of my life. Developmental Milestones is Dev's focus story but plenty of others put the focus on the canon DC roster if you prefer.

Go enjoy seeing Bruce get yelled at by a deeply affronted, potty-mouthed British Doctor with a heart of gold, though he'll stringently deny it.

Thanks for playing!

[pbandjesse]

Today was a nice day. After how productive I was yesterday I do feel slightly guilty for not being productive today. But it's fine. I had a nice day still.

I woke up this morning when James's alarm went off at 5 and they struggled to turn it off for a while and I was a little upset. But it was fine. I fell back asleep.

I woke up at 9 and didn't feel great. In those few hours I had some horrible dreams. Specifically that my entire face had psoriasis and I was like. Dehydrating and it was scary. But I got up and got ready for the day.

James made the bed. And we hung out for a little. They drank their coffee. I chilled on the couch. My hair felt very floofy and I was just slightly uncomfortable in my tights. They have a hole that needs to be mended. I will probably do that tomorrow. But today it just was slightly irritating.

I wanted to go to IKEA today. Not for anything really. Just to walk around and look at the spaces. And so we made a plan. IKEA, grocery store, laundry, and we would watch the last of us when we got home.

And that made today really nice.

We left here and drove out to White Marsh. And it was fun to go to IKEA. Got to see a little bit of the new collection everyone in TikTok loves. It's nice but way more expensive then I expected.

We pointed at the things we liked. James liked a few of of the dark kitchens with lots of shelves. I enjoyed thinking about the different wardrobes I would love to have and tables. It was just really nice walking around.

We didn't leave with nothing. We got some of the frozen veggie dogs and the toppings!! And we got a c to c type charger. Which ended up not working for what I wanted but it's all good.

After we paid (at self checkouts??) we went to the little fast food area (also self checkout!!!) to get snacks.

But the screen wouldn't let us chose veggie hotdogs. James asked and they said it would be 10 minutes. So we chose to wait. And it was worth it. We totally came at the most busy time. But we got a frozen yogurt and a cinnamon bun while we waited.

And the hotdogs were great. I felt really happy.

James was being a goof. And we were laughing because I couldn't see walking to the car because everything was glaring. But it was fine. Just very silly.

There was a giant grocery store (the brand not the size), and so we stopped there to get everything we needed. And we did pretty good with sales and deals. I got a few silly little things. Like the new strawberry Dr pepper. And mangos. But we did good and soon (after a long stop at the customer service desk to get quarters) we headed home.

When we got back here we brought everything in and James put stuff away. I was tired. I wanted to nap. But it never happened. I would just sort of feel exhausted and miserable for the next few hours. Despite trying to calm my brain down enough to nap, I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about stuff.

I would actually get some lesson plan stuff done for the summer. I want to have some semblance of a plan to show Alexi on Wednesday. I plan on working on that tomorrow but at least I have all my reference images ready to go.

James warned me up pizza from yesterday. I never actually ate any of it last night. Instead I had a PB and j. And we chilled in bed together. My head started feeling really horrible. I couldn't shake it for hours. It is finally feeling a little better but I thought I was going to throw up it hurt so bad. Thankfully never did but man that was not fun.

I would play fetch with Sweetp for a little. I went and took a bath but the water was to cool. Even when James added two kettles of water. But it helped make me feel a little better but not much.

Once I was in jammies we set up in James's room and watched the last two released episodes of last of us. I wound two balls of yarn. And cuddled with sweetp. And had some birthday cake with some aspirin on the side.

And the episodes were great. Heartbreaking but really good. We also went back and watched all the behind the scenes clips which were so good!! I love behind the scenes things.

Now we are in bed. And I am slowly feeling better. I am going to go brush my teeth and try to get to sleep before midnight.

James has a conference tomorrow. I am jealous. I hope it's so much fun. And I hope to have a productive day. I have mending to do. And I want to make sure all my stuff is ready for my workshop this weekend. And do my lesson planning. If I could finish that I would be so excited. But we'll see what happens.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe!

[gingersnapwolves]

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 1/6]

Okay my friends, I have heard your calls. Here’s my play-by-play version of The Untamed.

Note the first: I’m dividing it up into sections because it is, after all, a 50 episode series and I doubt anyone will want to wade through it all in one go.

Note the second: I am going to try to be as unbiased as possible. There are different ways to interpret some of the characters’ actions, especially later in the show when things get morally complex. You can find oceans of meta on this stuff, so I will try not to pick a side when at all possible. 

Note the third: I’m going to keep the tone pretty light and humorous. This show gets *dark* in the middle but y’all are reading a summary and I don’t want it to get too dry or too depressing. Please pardon me if I am flippant from time to time.

Part One: Sword Wizard School

I thought about doing a character guide but decided it would be easier to introduce you to characters as we meet them, because there are a LOT of characters. However, I am going to give you a brief primer on the important families/places.

Actually, let me back up a little further. The Untamed is a xianxia drama, so it’s about people trying to become immortal celestial beings. They fight monsters and do a lot of magic, and they live in clans/sects. A clan is a family. A sect is a cultivation style/school. The terms are often used interchangeably (even I’m guilty) but they are not exactly the same. Members of a clan will belong to that sect, but the sect will also take in outsiders to train, who are sect members but not clan members.

There are five Great Sects:

Province: Yunmeng; sect: Jiang, home: Lotus Pier

Province: Gusu, sect: Lan, home: Cloud Recesses

Province: Lanling, sect: Jin, home: Koi/Carp Tower

Province: Qinghe, sect: Nie, home: The Unclean Realm (this is not to say it is dirty, it’s from Buddhism and might also translate to ‘The Worldly Realm’)

Province: Qishan, sect: Wen, home: Nightless City/Nevernight (depending on translation) 

Here’s a map I made for my fic reference which shows roughly where these provinces are in relation to each other. I may have pretended they were cities in America so I could calculate mileage. Yes I am the world’s biggest nerd, thanks.

H’okay! The show is not in chronological order but I am going in chronological order because the point is to make this simple for you. I’ll admit that I may not get everything 100% correct because it’s been a while since I watched parts of it but I’ll try.

Setting: Caiyi Town, [Gusu]

ENTER A GREMLIN.

Meet Wei Wuxian. He is a 16 year old chaos gremlin with ADHD. He does not look 16 but actors in American dramas pretending to be teenagers also do not look 16 so we’ll let that go. He is with his adopted brother (also 16ish, but younger than Wei Wuxian) Jiang Cheng, and his adopted older sister, Jiang Yanli (probably about 6 years older).

Oh, right. Names. Most characters have two names, a birth name and a ‘courtesy’ name which is a fancy name they get when they’re old enough to get their swords and stuff. They also have titles. For the sake of not driving y’all crazy, I will choose the most commonly used name for the character and stick with it, and then give you a chart at the end so you’ll understand fanfiction.

Wei Wuxian and his siblings are headed to Sword Wizard School in Gusu, hosted by the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian is clearly planning to Be Himself during these lectures, and Jiang Cheng does Not Approve. Jiang Cheng is obviously very serious and concerned with appearances, which makes sense because he is the sect heir. As an adopted son, Wei Wuxian can goof off; Jiang Cheng does not have that luxury. (Wei Wuxian is the son of two of Jiang Cheng’s father’s friends, who died when he was young. More on this later.) Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian and the other disciples that are with them that they are representing the Jiang sect and they should make a good impression.

They don’t think they can get to Cloud Recesses before dark so they get rooms at an inn.

ENTER A SNOB.

Jin Zixuan is the next fun character you’ll meet. He’s also 16 or thereabouts despite looking 24 at minimum. He is a sect heir to the Lanling Jin and he does not like being near or interacting with strangers. He pays the innkeeper to rent the whole inn and throw any other guests out. Is this a dick move? I’m trying to be unbiased here, so yes. Yes it is.

Wei Wuxian tries to flirt with a couple of Jin Zixuan’s retainers to get them to allow the Yunmeng siblings to stay, but Jin Zixuan decides to be a big jerk about it. Fun fact! Jin Zixuan is betrothed to Jiang Yanli! He is literally throwing his betrothed out of an inn so he doesn’t have to share a building with people. Wei Wuxian gets pissy and picks a fight with him but Jiang Yanli convinces him that he’s not worth it (although she is much nicer about it than any of us would be in her shoes), and they decide to head up to Cloud Recesses despite the time.

But alas! In their haste, they leave their invitation behind.

ENTER AN ICE PRINCE

As the Yunmeng trio try to talk their way past the gate, Lan Wangji arrives. Also 16, he is your classic stoic, repressed gay, and is the younger brother of the Lan Sect leader. With him are a bunch of Lan cultivators and a guy on a stretcher who is clearly in rough shape. The Lan cultivators carry him inside.

Wei Wuxian, pure of heart and dumb of ass, decides that this is a great time to try to talk his way through the gate, figuring that Lan Wangji, being an important person, can let them in. Lan Wangji reacts about how you would expect a stoic repressed gay would to a cute boy flirting with him for the first time: uses a silencing spell on him, tells him he’s absolutely not admitted without their invitation, and locks them out. 

Jiang Cheng, who has spent the last 3 minutes desperately trying to get his brother to shut up before he gets them all in trouble, sends him back to town to find the invitation.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SOFT MAN AND HIS EXTREMELY STARCHED UNCLE

Lan Xichen, the head of the Lan sect and Lan Wangji’s older brother, is studying the guy they brought in, with his uncle. Lan Xichen is young for a sect leader (he’s only 19 in the book but probably 24-25ish in the show) and his uncle advises him a lot of the time. The guy they brought is kind of dead but also kind of not. They say a bunch of stuff you won’t understand if you have not seen xianxia dramas before. It’s not really important.

Ext. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

RE-ENTER THE GREMLIN

Wei Wuxian has come back with the invitation to find the rest of his sect no longer waiting outside and all of Cloud Recesses sealed by wards. “Wards are made to be broken,” he says, demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of their purpose. It’s a good thing he’s here for school.

He breaks in, carrying a couple jars of liquor, only to find Lan Wangji standing guard. Lan Wangji reprimands him for breaking important Lan sect rules like a) not breaking and entering, b) not coming in after dark, and c) bringing alcohol, which is forbidden. Wei Wuxian offers him one of the jars because he is 16 and stupid and for some reason thought a bribe was what this situation needed. Lan Wangji pulls a sword on him, which is definitely a reasonable response and not because he has his first boner and he’s angry about it.

They have a sword fight, basically to a draw. Lan Wangji drags him in to see Lan Xichen, who clearly thinks this is hilarious. Wei Wuxian blames everything on Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. He also says intelligent things about the not-a-corpse they’re examining, because the writers wanted us to know that he’s not a whole dumbass. Lan Xichen basically slaps him on the wrist, tells him to behave himself and sends him off to the guest house his siblings were given, and then teases Lan Wangji about Baby’s First Crush.

Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN OVER THE TOP VILLAIN AND HIS HENCHMEN

Nightless City isn’t actually nightless. It’s just never dark there because it’s on top of a volcano, because that’s where all the cool villains live.

This is the home of the Qishan Wen, who are Obviously Evil from the Black Outfits, Volcano Lair, and Shuffling Zombies. Their leader is Wen Ruohan. His personality is that he is evil. He’s saying a bunch of stuff you won’t understand yet and then sends his Obnoxious Son Wen Chao off to look for something. He also sends Wen Qing, who is related to him somehow, presumably. She asks if she can bring her brother, Wen Ning, and Wen Ruohan says sure because all he cares about is Being Evil in his Zombie Volcano Lair.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A SLACKER and his friend, EVERY RETAIL EMPLOYEE DEALING WITH A KAREN YOU’VE EVER MET. 

They’re all at the first lecture, and there’s a ceremony where each visiting sect presents a gift to Lan Qiren (the uncle/teacher). I think we might see what the Jin give him but I don’t care. Right now we’re talking about Nie Huaisang, the younger brother of the sect leader of the Nie sect. He is baby. He has brought a bird to class for no reason other than that he caught it and thinks it’s cool. Presenting to the dour and stern Lan Qiren makes him nervous.

With him is Meng Yao. Unlike everyone else you’ve met so far, Meng Yao is not a member of the gentry. He is the son of the Jin sect leader and a prostitute. (Yes, this makes him Jin ‘I can’t breathe the same air as commoners’ Zixuan’s younger brother.) When he was old enough to do Sword Magic he went to the Jin sect and asked for admittance, and his father had him thrown down a set of 200 steps because his father is an Enormous Douche. (That’s not biased. Hating this dude is one of the few things everyone agrees on.) Then he went to the Nie sect, and they said, “Sure, you can come in, but you’re not really a disciple, mmkay?” and he said sure. But he has worked his way up to being the assistant to the sect leader which is a pretty important position for someone with his background. 

Naturally, because Meng Yao is Not Like the Others, a few people take this opportunity to gossip and talk smack about him. Meng Yao is upset but tries not to look it. Lan Xichen takes a moment to reassure him, saying that the Nie sect leader had written to him about what a helpful and awesome assistant he had now, and that Meng Yao obviously lived up to it. Meng Yao immediately develops the world’s Most Obvious Crush Don’t @ Me You Would Too.

ENTER MR. OBNOXIOUS, AN IRON MAIDEN, and A PUPPY. Fortunately these are the last characters you’ll meet for a while.

The Wen sect shows up at the gates of Cloud Recesses like ‘what up, I got a big attitude and fuck you’. The gate dude tells them they can’t come in without an invitation, and Wen Chao attacks him because he was raised in a volcano and they go in anyway. With Wen Chao are Wen Qing and her brother, Wen Ning. They are actually pretty awesome, you just don’t know it yet.

Wen Chao busts in on the Saluting Ceremony just as Jiang Cheng is trying to present their gift, and immediately begins insulting everyone there. You should count yourself fortunate that you’re only reading this because Wen Chao is literally the most obnoxious character in this show. Anyway, Wei Wuxian decides to pick a fight with him even though this is *obviously* a stupid thing to do. (I love Wei Wuxian with my whole heart but he is so stupid at 16 lmao.) He calls Wen Chao out on interrupting Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao reacts completely rationally and calmly BAHAHA who am I kidding, he pulls his sword out. Everyone else pulls their swords out. Wen Qing looks like she has the world’s worst migraine.

Lan Xichen takes out his flute and plays eight seconds of music that makes everyone’s swords go flying into the ceiling. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? Because he is Awesome.

Wen Chao gets even more pissy but Wen Qing shuts him down, saying she and her brother are there for Sword Wizard School and she’s sorry her cousin is such an asshole. Lan Xichen tells them to ‘try to come on time’ tomorrow. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? It bears repeating.

Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Wei Wuxian is making fast friends with Nie Huaisang. They decide to go fishing in one of the streams. He sees Wen Qing sneaking around and asks what she’s doing there. She blows him off.

Meng Yao stops Lan Xichen and says goodbye to him. Lan Xichen asks why he’s leaving so soon, and Meng Yao says that he can’t actually stay for the lectures, since he’s only an assistant to the Nie sect, not a disciple. Lan Xichen tells him that Nie Mingjue (the head of the Nie sect) is just and honorable and will surely reward him for working so hard. They make heart eyes at each other for like a solid thirty seconds before Meng Yao manages to leave.  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be unbiased. They gaze at each other longingly – no, shit, that’s still biased. They, uh, regard each other with mutual respect for thirty solid seconds and then Meng Yao leaves.

Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is Fretting about the fact that Wei Wuxian is Making a Bad Impression. He ain’t seen nothing yet. Jiang Yanli calms him down.

Wen Qing talks to her brother Wen Ning and is sad because he’s sick. She promises him that someday they’ll be able to leave Nightless City.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Lan Qiren is lecturing. Wei Wuxian proposes some casual heresy. Lan Qiren gets mad and tells him to copy the Chapter of Conduct a thousand times, and throws him out of class. Jiang Cheng tries to crawl under his desk.

Instead of going to copy lines, Wei Wuxian wanders off and meets A PUPPY, ie Wen Ning. He is practicing his archery. Wei Wuxian proceeds to help him with his stance and Wen Ning looks like he just discovered his bisexuality. Wen Qing sees them together and is clearly not thrilled. Wei Wuxian asks her why she’s always wandering around the back hills of Cloud Recesses and asks if she’s looking for something. She tells him not to be stupid and leaves with her brother.

Lan Wangji drags Wei Wuxian back to the library for his punishment. Wei Wuxian proceeds to spend the next few hours doing Everything That Is Not That, which culminates in him exchanging Lan Wangji’s book for some porn when he’s not looking. Lan Wangji tears the porn up and tells him to piss off.

~romance~

Jiang Cheng: I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Wei Wuxian: I absolutely am.

They go back to their guest house. Wen Qing is there. She’s a doctor! Told you she was awesome. Jiang Yanli wasn’t feeling well and Wen Qing gave her some medicine. They talk about the fact that there aren’t lectures for a few days because Lan Qiren is off doing Official Stuff.

But there’s still fun to be had! There’s a water demon attacking people in the nearby town. Lan Xichen is worried that it’s serious and he’s going to go himself. Lan Wangji goes with him. Wei Wuxian asks if he and Jiang Cheng can go ‘get some practice’ as they fight lots of water demons in Yunmeng. Lan Xichen, remembering his brother’s obvious crush, says sure. Wen Ning wants to go too. So does Wen Qing. Lan Xichen suddenly feels like a chaperone on a field trip but says fine because he’s the cool older brother.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to ask questions about the not-a-corpse from earlier. Lan Xichen politely tells him that’s it handled and not to worry about it. Wei Wuxian thinks there’s something he’s not telling him, and he mentions that to Lan Wangji, who agrees but won’t say so. Wei Wuxian can tell anyway because he’s learning to read Lan Wangji’s microexpressions.

They fight a water demon. Jiang Cheng gets injured and Wen Qing patches him up. He looks at her with puppy eyes. Some dumbass loses his sword in the water. Wen Ning tries to help him despite being uniquely unqualified to do so, and passes out. Wei Wuxian tries to rescue both of them, and Lan Wangji ends up rescuing all three of them despite clearly wanting to let the water demon eat them. Jiang Cheng buys a comb to give to Wen Qing but chickens out and doesn’t give it to her. Wei Wuxian deduces that Wen Ning’s illness is because of a previous bad experience with ghostly spirits or something, and gives Wen Qing a talisman to give to her brother that will help protect him from monsters. He says that no matter what she’s looking for at Cloud Recesses, he hopes the talisman will help Wen Ning.

Then he tries to buy Lan Wangji some fruit as a gift. Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. Lan Xichen starts mentally writing wedding invitations.

Ext. Nightless City [Qishan]

ENTER AN EDGELORD (sorry I forgot about him, in fact I think this happened earlier but the timing isn’t really important)

Meet Xue Yang. You have no idea who he is. Wen Ruohan is demanding he hand over something called yin iron. Xue Yang’s response to this is basically ‘choke me harder, Daddy’ and you’re left feeling vaguely disturbed.

Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

It’s party time! Wei Wuxian smuggled some liquor back with him. He, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang get drunk. They give Jiang Cheng a hard time about his high standards for women.

Lan Wangji comes in like the hall monitor you hated in high school to break it up. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang run away. Wei Wuxian uses a talisman on Lan Wangji to keep him from reporting them and make him take a drink of the alcohol. We all remind ourselves very firmly that he is only 16 and will do stupid shit, despite wanting to slap him. Lan Wangji has never had alcohol before and one drink makes him blackout drunk. Wei Wuxian has to babysit him for the rest of the night. Serves him right.

The next day, they’re all in trouble, even Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian tries to tell Lan Qiren that it’s not Lan Wangji’s fault, but Lan Wangji accepts his punishment anyway. They get hit with a stick a bunch of times.

Lan Wangji goes to recuperate in the cold springs. Lan Xichen, the world’s biggest troll, sends Wei Wuxian to do the same. Lan Wangji nearly has an aneurysm when Wei Wuxian tries to start taking his clothes off.

ENTER THE PLOT

They get pulled underwater and end up in a cave. It’s a magic cave where only members of the Lan clan are allowed to be. To keep the cave from killing him, Lan Wangji wraps his Magic Forehead Ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist. This is the same magic forehead ribbon he told Wei Wuxian ten episode minutes ago that only parents, spouses, and children are allowed to touch. Draw what conclusions you will.

There’s a ghostly lady in the cave who is Lan Wangji’s ancestor. She tells them Evil Is Abroad. A long time ago a dude named Xue Chonghai took a bunch of pieces of metal and filled them full of evil energy. Everyone banded together and killed him, but the metal couldn’t be completely destroyed, so it was split into ‘the cardinal directions’ and then sealed and hidden. Ah ha! This is what Wen Ruohan is looking for! It’s called Evil MacGuffin yin iron.

Wei Wuxian says if it’s so powerful, why don’t they use it to fight back? Ghost lady says she tried that but it’s too evil and it doesn’t work. She gives them the piece that was sealed in the cave and tells them to go fight evil together. Lan Wangji is glad it’s too cold to have a boner.

Except then she throws them out of the cave and onto dry land and Wei Wuxian lands on top of him and he definitely gets one from that. Sorry, Lan Wangji, I don’t make the rules.

They’ve been missing for two days and everyone is really upset, especially Jiang Cheng, who thinks Wei Wuxian was just goofing off.

Lan Xichen takes the piece of yin iron they got in the cave and seals it in a pouch. They discuss the fact that Wen Ruohan is clearly collecting the pieces of yin iron and this is Bad News Bears. The yin iron will respond to other pieces of yin iron so they decide they should use the piece they have to locate the other pieces.

But first, classes are over! Despite the fact that each of these events has led seamlessly into the next and it seems like they’ve been there a week, they’ve actually been there six months. If you dealt with the Teen Wolf ‘timeline’ I assume you can deal with that lmao.

There’s a lantern-lighting ceremony to celebrate. Wei Wuxian paints a rabbit on his lantern because there were a bunch of rabbits in the cave and Lan Wangji clearly likes rabbits. This makes Lan Wangji smile for the first time. They all light their lanterns and make a wish.

Wei Wuxian wishes he can stand with justice and live without regrets. Lan Wangji looks at him like he’s about to propose. Wen Qing wishes she could protect her little brother and that he’ll always be safe. Jiang Cheng looks at her like he’s about to propose. Nie Huaisang wishes he can pass his classes and get the hell out of high school. Truly, the most relatable.

But the moment is ruined because people start teasing Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli, asking why they didn’t light a lantern together and wish for a happy marriage. Jin Zixuan, the paragon of reacting reasonably to things, storms off. He tells his sect members he doesn’t want to hear about the marriage and they should stop bringing it up. Wei Wuxian overhears and they get into a fight. Jiang Yanli manages to get Wei Wuxian to back off.

The next day, Wei Wuxian is being punished for punching a jerk in the face. He is kneeling on the rocks of the courtyard. But he’s already gotten distracted because there’s an anthill and he has ADHD. Lan Wangji calls him ‘unteachable’ and stomps off, clearly mad at his boner like usual.

Because this is kind of important, the two sect leaders have showed up to hash it out. Jiang Yanli’s dad says ‘listen, if your son doesn’t want to marry my daughter, we shouldn’t force him’. Jin Zixuan’s dad says, ‘kids are stupid and they don’t know what they want’. Jiang Yanli’s dad says, ‘well I absolutely agree your son is stupid but he’s being a jerk to my daughter so why don’t we politely call this off before something happens that makes one of us impolitely call it off’, and Jin Zixuan’s dad agrees. Jiang Yanli is upset, although why she actually wanted to marry Jin Zixuan is beyond everyone involved, including the audience. Then again it can’t be easy to hear that some dude who has barely even met you has decided you’re not good enough for him.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Xichen telling Lan Wangji ‘be careful’ and correctly deduces that Lan Wangji is leaving with the yin iron to try to find the other pieces, while Lan Xichen stays behind to protect Cloud Recesses since the Wen sect thinks it’s still there. He leaves a note that says ‘gone monster hunting, meet you back at home!’ Jiang Cheng nearly has an aneurysm, especially when his dad is like ‘lmao that kid is such a dumbass’.

~end Sword Wizard School~

okay, guys, what did you think? was this helpful? could you follow it? was it at least vaguely entertaining? should I keep going?

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: RUN Episode 131

by Admin 1

I know I’ve probably said this about literally every episode but this one was so fun! Admin 2 and I were honestly laughing almost the entire time while also trying our best to follow along their “debates” and just taking in all the chaos. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Quick recap: in this episode we’re at the pool that belongs to the same hotel at which they had lunch at the end of the previous episode and the objective is twofold--not get wet and win a debate. That’s basically it, it’s like the mint chocolate debate episode but even more hilarious and with the addition of wet Bangtan.

Something I truly love is how it took vmin exactly 57 seconds (which includes the 18 second long intro) to find some kind of ‘reason’ to hold/shake hands behind JKs back. Because of course they did.

After the whole “mess” that ensued after the Titanic preview picture was posted yesterday, I can basically just say one thing--there was literally no need whatsoever to get all anxious and uncertain about the picture, or anything the shippers made out of it. As always the best course of action, which is the one I usually apply, is waiting until we get the full thing so we have context for what we’re shown in the picture/teaser/scene. It’s like that scene at the end of one of the ITS episodes where Jimin goes to JK to tell him about a supposed leak in his room which was taken way out of context and proportions until we got the next episode a week later and the actual events were completely different from anything and everything that was theorized. 

So, what’s the lesson? Wait until we get the full thing, dear fellow vminnies, that way we can avoid making each other anxious and unsure.

Anyway, let’s get into it by starting with the ‘warm-up’ which consisted of one-on-one “battles” where the members stood on these floating foamy mats being held by two staff members and having to make each other fall into the water by playing the hand pushing game. 

Yoongi VS Jimin -- I like how the two shortest members went against each other, which I’d assume might’ve had something to do with Yoongi’s shoulder and how chances of Jimin hurting him due to his height/size/weight were the smallest as opposed to Namjoon or even Hoseok. Maybe I’m imagining/overthinking things but it seemed like Jimin was a little hesitant/careful in how he approached the game and in the way he touched Yoongi, which honestly is very thoughtful and cute of him if that’s true, considering his shoulder and all. In the end Yoongi, after they basically goofed around more than actually tried to push each other, offers a deal of just doing it once properly, ending in both of them falling in the water since Yoongi leans forward, hugs Jimin and drags him down with him.

Tae VS Hobi -- These two might’ve been the quickest, given how Hobi said he’s scared at least three times and Tae basically use a moment to ‘attack’ where Hobi was distracted by the fact that a moment prior he thought Tae almost would’ve hit him in the face with his forehead on accident. That lucky did not happen, but Hobi did end up in the water and Tae remained on the float and completely dry.

Namjoon VS Seokjin -- Now these two, how can I put my thoughts/feelings into cohesive words and sentences instead of just a long key smash? They were hilarious, and their round definitely took the longest out of all of them, both trying to make the other fall yet simultaneously seeming like they weren’t trying all that hard since neither wanted to land in the water? After all before the game started Seokjin did complain how the RUN crew told him they wouldn’t have to get into the water. And yet, in the end, after a visible moment of contemplation, Namjoon hugs Seokjin (who hugs him back) and they fall into the water together (when I tell you how much I love them, wow).

JK VS Jimin --Here’s where we get the Titanic moment while JK and Jimin stand on the float and are being pulled to the middle of the pool, the members immediately jumping in with Hobi going “Jack, come back” in a breathy voice while Yoongi (?) sings the melody of My Heart Will Go On and everyone is laughing. It was an absolutely hilarious and cute moment. What made me laugh the most during the whole thing were the Jimin heads used to hide whatever, which I as a joke called the “Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra (Head Edition)” while talking to Admin 2. During the game itself Jimin and JK are hilarious, slapping each other’s chests and trying different tricks to make the other fall, showing how amazing their core strength and balance is, but eventually Jimin shoves JKs chest and JK falls into the water, winning the game since Jimin “cheated” and thus lost.

Seokjin VS Tae -- Interesting to note is how Jimin remained in the water and close by while these two were playing. Seokjin and Tae though somehow seemed the most chaotic out of all of them, despite Seokjin offering that they should just do it in one go...which didn’t work out. They leaned into each other twice while laughing before starting to “wrestle” until Tae put his arms around Seokjin’s waist and basically threw him into the water while subsequently being pulled after him and falling in as well. Sometimes I think we forget how strong Tae is (though after his BE_log earlier today I doubt we’ll forget that again any time soon).

Once “warm-up” was done, the members were split into two groups of three while one person, the MC, sat in the middle in a glass box (though missing the front glass panel). The rules were established and we basically figured out that there are water canons in front of the seated members and a bigger one releasing water onto the member sitting in the middle. They got words and things they were not allowed to do/say since otherwise they would get splashed.

Safe to say they all fairly quickly looked even more like very wet puppies. I mean look at Yoongi and his cute curly poodle hair, adorable!

The debate portion itself was about “crunchy or soft cereal”, “eggs of peas on jjajangmyeon” and “firm or soft peaches” and truly more chaotic shouting than actually debating. The team members and the “MC” changed for each round, which lasted 11 minutes each. Who debated what was chosen by the crew (or the MC). My highlights for the cereal debate (besides Seokjin cutely complaining how he prefers his cereal soggy and Namjoon equally cutely telling him to just pretend he likes it crunchy) were Yoongi (who was team soggy cereal) and his argument that since Kendrick Lamar eats soggy cereal, that’s basically the winning argument, Namjoon arguing that since “cereal” and “crunchy” both start with a c that’s the only right answer, and Tae arguing that if you eat chocolate cereal it’ll melt and you’ll additionally get chocolate milk so obviously soggy cereal is better. The jjajangmyeon portion had discussions about prices, as well as Hobi (team peas) arguing he doesn’t like seeing animals in pain (which was quickly countered by JK saying he’d just eaten pork before the episode) and Tae generally being appalled by having to argue in favor of peas since he doesn’t like them yet used the argument that his dad likes them so if you argue against them...well. 

And finally the peaches debate had Tae and his galaxy brain using their Chilsung Cider ads as argument and how the peaches in it were firm since they bounced and thus they are better, which JK tried to counter by pointing out that those were just CGI to which Tae basically said he’s insulting their beautiful ads, how dare. I also love how Jimin, who was on Tae’s team, went along with whatever nonsense argument Tae came up with as though it was the most logical one in the world. Just lovely soulmate things, we love to see it. Speaking of nonsensical arguments, you have to give points to Namjoon for his ability to sound like he’s making perfectly sensible and logical arguments while doing, well, the exact opposite. Or Yoongi who just bs-ed his way through the entire thing while acting totally serious about it.

Can we please have a quick look at the following screenshot:

And now, can we please talk about how everyone is nicely sitting in their designated place with space between them...and then there’s vmin who are like magnets because “Space who? We don’t know her”. 

Admin 2 asked me to add their comment/thought about how it looks juuuuust a little as though vmin may or may not have been holding hands below the table, which, I mean, we’ll never know but, at this point (especially after the BE unit unboxing video) I wouldn’t even be surprised if it were true.

At one point when Seokjin became the MC the water kept on coming and coming and the members were desperate to figure out what was the thing they were doing that caused it. Jimin thought it could be the caps that some of them wore, so without hesitation or question, he took off Tae’s cap (bless Jimin for giving us another view at wet hair Tae, truly) and then, I swear, it looks like he wanted to ruffle Tae’s hair yet just a second before making contact he stops himself and instead turns his hand in like a “I’m presenting some kind of argument” way. Adorable.

A final note goes out to the fact that they are wearing white button downs which, I mean, makes perfect sense I guess? And also how the crew gave them bathrobes so they’d stay warm, I’d assume, yet very quickly those were drenched as well thanks to the water canons so it basically defeated the purpose completely. And yet, despite all the water etc they all look fantastic.

Overall it’s a hilarious episode that’ll give your stomach muscles and lungs an amazing workout. Bangtan were their chaotic, loud, and mischievous selves and honestly, I can’t wait to see what else they’ll debate in the next episode.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thanks to doing a few rounds of akinator for winston billions at like 5am last night & the 80th question in one round being abt if your character is in love with someone, i turned to look at the camera like “no,” b/c idk whatever News winston knows of in the finale ep involves rian & while he could be keeping a more personal reaction to himself certainly, we aren’t informed about it, and it’s also a case of like, the material really not trying to touch on him Still crushing on her, such as that he may not actually be doing so, & such as that [who knows why they put that in in the first place if it didn’t matter at all] 

but like also then just moving back an episode at a time it’s like well episode eleven sure he doesn’t need to have like courtlily pledged himself to rian but it’s pretty bold to just hop up & go get laid w/a stranger b/c while your would’ve been Crush is drawing other ppl’s attention by singing, you’re looking elsewhere like oh hello =) & that goes for episode ten as well like really Something like here we are at this party & everyone desires rian carnally, Except winston apparently does not lmao, that point would’ve made a world of sense if they Had actually been the ones peacing out to find some narrative consistency, but ig like the hell with that, it’s nihilism no narrative times, in fact rian gets to stop being A Character X’D but anyways folks lol like winston’s really just like “hi gamers, remember how we were talking about my interest lately” (& everyone goes “die” about it like sorry guy) when it might otherwise be prime time to try to stick to rian or at least have a moment like the 5x05 soiree & make a vague pass about something. but it’s taylor’s turn for that, for some reason, why is what all they have happen after 6x08 even like, Conducive to their dynamic resolving to a better place much less apparently required for it lmfao; is this particular step of it just about taylor’s sort of own limitations in navigating their own life lol like happiness?? well i can only maybe get that through dating someone & i can only get That through work, maybe time to see if any positive feelings towards rian could be romantic interest, that’s my best shot....wherein at this point maybe winston sure can’t be hanging off of rian’s arm this evening b/c he has to be out of the way so Taylor & Rian Time can take precedence, which is possibly true re: the next two episodes / the last two episodes of the season lol, is he standing w/trading floor guys in the finale b/c they’re besties now or b/c rian needs to be separate b/c it’s more Taylor & Rian time, not goofing around ft winston’s involvement. But it can also be true that he’s more established as buddies w/tuk at least. like how yeah he may be pushed out of the way all three eps but he may also be more Over rian, bopping up at the party like what’s up? wanting me to die? oh okay bye. then next episode he’s arms out, going off & hooking up w/someone, still sitting & talking w/rian but she takes the opportunity to insult him & there’s no effort to remind us of the quant duo in the finale, just whatever taylor & rian have going on (being the only members of tmc) like both watsonian & doylean exclusion of winston lol

but also taking it back to episode four like, that felt to me like the clearest instance of like “btw remember winston Likes her” but even then it was like “Or Maybe he does simply really wanna hang out & be friends” and that could be the case lol like they sure are tantalizingly close to friendship for much of all this, and they Do go hang out outside of work due to connecting over a Personal Interest as would sorta be the case in this scenario of like “why don’t you take me camping & i’ll bring my honed spatial algorithm” like i’m not about to say he can’t have been that enthused about anticipating forming a genuine friendship, why wouldn’t he be, & it can be both that & a bit of [also remnants of a crush] motivation....and i mean not like we Know what all they got up to while doing media analysis together in ep ten like. yeah feasible that analysis is all they really got up to, could well be intensive, but it also seems feasible you know, there were interludes about other things, anyone have a meal together and/or unrelated conversation? anyone kiss or hook up? it’s a Hilarious(tm) aspect of like, all winston’s dynamics that there’s never any Real resolution like, even now it’s like well i guess riawin’s not truly completely certainly a non factor / possibility at this juncture, but that’s thanks to the fact that you know, characters aren’t regarding him as serious or important, we never get material wherein say, anyone has a real conversation with him that we get to see, or with anyone else About him, or say, their thoughts / feelings on their own relationship / dynamic with him, so in that way it remains this more Ambiguous Zone where you can fill in blanks / What If about what’s unexplored b/c like, sorry, if i was supposed to automatically sense & accept some Factual Premise that winston is a romantic / sexual nonentity & even too much of a joke to have a friend? first of all i did not, second of all you’re the ones telling us he has crushes & exes & is now just going off getting laid cuz he felt like it & is maybe already regular friends with tuk, so what do you want

but anyways you go “even episode burn rate may not Necessarily have been about winston having a crush vs him being aware of this Quant Duo emphasis that’s Been in place & wanting to get Hanging Out / more personal connection out of it” and really that’s like, the main instance all season of anything plausibly abt winston still having a crush on rian. episode one Introduces Them like remember the quant duo?? they’re a duo. remember how we made sure to have winston show up silently in the finale for a few shots of rian standing right beside him? like yes what of it. and then they go well who knows, but here’s episode two, little quant duo moment again. ep three, Really quant duo moments. ep four, this Maybe [remember winston has a crush] thing that might also just be about him trying to explore / extend this duoship Somehow that’s more ambiguous at least. ep five, god, quant duo, ep six, sure leans on the like “why’s rian want to trip him & take his lunch” thing but also we end on her smiling at him / looking to him like “[all this], am i right??” like. ep seven dear god the quant duo. even ep eight like hey they’re standing together, and then aproposly winston just kind of inexplicably vanishes and the ep becomes this combo of taylor & philip and taylor & rian (subset: rian & wags, apparently) material. and then frankly ep nine kind of counts too because it’s Something that for both quants this is the one episode they simply don’t show up for some reason. ok. then obviously the last quarter of the season moves focus to all that and the quant duo material becomes rian ditching winston after hanging w/him all episode, rian insulting winston, winston going :\ about waving through a window at whatever rian and taylor are up to, like genuinely probably his guess is about as good as anyone’s.

it’s also Something Or Other that “rian pwns winston” is a lot more explicit & repeated this season than “is this material based on winston particularly having a crush vs just liking rian more generally / hoping they’re friends?” like ep one she pwns him out of nowhere, prince jumps in too for no reason when he’s supposed to be trying to ingratiate himself to everyone And this is the sole exception we see to that. ep two, why’s she have to go “oh you cannot really surf ever” like why shouldn’t he. ep three, we get winston directly commenting on their dynamic, that rian has and does hurt him & he thinks she’s doing it on purpose (why wouldn’t he, & seems that she is, tf else is going on. and/or else she’s just really unconcerned abt the effect of [hurting him] even if that’s not her main motivation), oh but also people see them as a duo & they’re also operating as one / completely amicable sometimes, such as like 7 sec out from rian pwning him & him going “stop trying to hurt me” & her completely ignoring that. ep four, that she pwns him again but also kind of lets up on it b/c he thought she’d responded positively actually. ep five, for some reason there needs to be an aside from rian about how winston’s not like the vlogger guy or his followers, who aren’t like posited as Respected Parties by anyone anyways, but the only consistency here is foregone conclusion disdain for winston i guess. ep six like he can’t get his phone back lol it’s more indirect like, it’s a Practical Matter for rian & she’s not very concerned about him beyond that, & kind of like “oh right you have your own perspective here, forgot about that smh whatever though” like, not the friendliest, but then suddenly episode seven is like remarkably same wavelength same page Utterly Amicable where go figure, the only particular instance of disdain / dismissiveness towards winston comes from taylor, ep eight no disdain, ep nine they’re both gone, but ep ten & eleven both with giving him shit out of nowhere & for no reason when he’s trying to like, have a conversation, but apparently oh speedrunning personal bonding with taylor with conversations and hugs in there lol like well. discouraging perhaps b/c why wouldn’t it be.....like i totalled up what i’d consider to be like discrete instances of positive (amicable) vs negative (the dislike/disdain realm) moments from rian directed at winston & surprisingly it came out even by my interpretation & count, but it also is like....that shit isn’t weighted lol, distinct instances of rian directing a smile at winston vs going out of her way and verbally insulting him, the smiles have counterparts of shooting him more negative Looks but the verbal insults do not have counterparts of her like complimenting him or hyping him up or anything, so feels a bit uneven still. yet oh also she’s hung out with him outside work for personal reasons, yet oh also she’ll then turn on that shared interest to insult him And the interest he has in it like, violence on an nd wavelength there, that Sharedness of the interest as a point of connection, and for what. taylor’s making a seemingly not not romantic move here that rian rejects but is Still more personally interested in taylor than ever in other ways & sees them as like romantically desirable in theory, & apparently she’s also looking to get some but oops only in the [she’s not operating like She Is A Character Known To Us rather than “yep, this is someone who is a woman, could’ve been fan fave jean anne”] realm, but personal friendly connection with winston???? waste of time, hurt him for it, he doesn’t seem to be making a pass but apparently the abstract Potential of other ppl’s romantic &/or sexual capacities out here is something so motivating & relevant in general otherwise

where’d i even start this post. yeah like going “so where’d winston’s crush on rian end” and maybe it didn’t even make it into this season but really even the duoship was cruising along until ep ten demands rian partly be [Any Woman] suddenly & some Personal Something for taylor which kind of makes sense but idk why it’s not still more of the mentor / mentee business, was this the only way it could progress?? seems like a particularly shaky premise and like, So specific lmao. if that’s the only way to connect to rian Or taylor no wonder winston’s getting nowhere. haha no but really he’s up against the impossible situation where everyone else has negatively judged him & it’s all about the foregone conclusion of [everything about you sucks] (And punishing him for it / treating him worse than any particular individual does other people, certainly) that precludes connection and he can’t just unilaterally put in enough effort in the right ways so that he can create a good relationship b/w him and anyone else, but it Is all unilateral so far as we’ve seen....the tl;dr is like “why’d they do all that then” re: winston textually Liking rian at least in s5 there, but also truly it’s “why’d they do all that then” re: all the obvious emphasis & establishing of rian & winston As A Duo. would hardly be surprising if winston Was shifting more to actively pursuing friendship with tuk, who he interacts with & is interacted with as a friend, and to passively giving up on much of anything with rian, who has to like him at all in some way/s, but where their interactions are mostly on her terms & where she’ll give him shit spontaneously seemingly for her own entertainment, or because he’s like, responded to her / answered a question / provided info / talked abt something relevant to/of interest to them both / agreed with her, & who knows if she’s banked on his Liking her as a reason she’ll never have to like, consciously wonder abt whether she can hurt him enough he won’t be an amicable party towards her / someone she Can talk to at any time, apparently she doesn’t think about consequences (except that also she does, so whatever) & idk doesn’t seem to feel confident in knowing herself or what she wants or what she’s doing so it’s also just feasible idk she doesn’t know what she’s doing with this relationship / isn’t putting a world of Care And Consideration into it, we’ve hardly had a chance to see if winston hanging w/tuk rather than rian or rian & taylor is a pattern that’s been Shifted to rather than that he needed to be out of the way in Serious Finale Zone times & can now go back to mostly being around rian & being as game to talk to her in earnest at any time, seems utterly plausible b/c winston Has to, & Has, put up with anything forever b/c otherwise if the way ppl treated him like, lastingly affected him, he’d lose his panache & personality, or rather, stop expressing it around anyone here. and so far billions hasn’t really let winston have an arc, 5x05 through 5x07 looked the most like one but then after the hiatus it’s like, rian’s desk stuff is gone, her [trademark bi haircut] is grown out, the seeming Hurtling Towards Something just kind of flew out of frame b/c now it’s time to enter into the Rian & Taylor Serious Arc world & never look back......i said tl;dr before but Now tl;dr like what was making it clear winston has a crush about, was it an explanation for him getting over the rivalry immediately. but getting over it so what, they can be friends?? because what is That for, if they don’t get to do that either really, rather winston is determinedly amicable towards her up till now where Maybe he hangs out with tuk when possible as his new default, we can’t know, maybe he’s still just down to suffer forever b/c he does apparently have to do that, taylor hasn’t really given him anything since 5x05 (except the Back Pat the full season later) & he’ll still wear his tmc tee in ep one & doesn’t individually bring up any grievances w/them all season, even if we don’t know whether he’s less hyped about them at the end of the season at all, seems as matter of fact as ever like yep he’s taylor’s quant & he’s here for them, but, is he especially enthused abt anything here....yes, in 6x05, but nothing came of it. will anything come of Quant Duoship overall or was it just something else for rian to do before becoming taylor’s other bestie or something and only employee, will anything come of winston and tuk getting along completely successfully, will anything come of winston material and the fact that he’s actually a person any of these other characters could connect with. tl;dr winston

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Hi! You're by far my favorite writer for the man himself so I wanted to ask you.. can we plleeasse get a super sweet and passionate morning sex smutty-fluffer with Mr. Washington? Maybe the two of them had a stressful week at work/school or something and they decided to drive up to the lodge to escape by themselves for a long weekend together?? I'm on a massive Josh kick right now, there isn't enough love for him 😫😫

13. sleepy sex 14. being ridden

Another perfect place to answer two requests—I’m feeling accomplished! I love you all so much 💋

Also, this sucker is almost 3,000 words. I SWEAR I try to answer your prompts quickly on days like this, but sometimes, a story happens. Well, if this can even be considered a “story” 😆

* * * * *

Every year, Josh Washington hosted one hell of a summer-kick-off party at his parents’ lodge. He watched the weather like he was auditioning for a job on the local news, carefully choosing the warmest, clearest day. Despite the label of “summer,” the temperature in the Rockies at the lodge only ever flirted with anything near 75°F (23°C) yet Josh insisted, every year, that it was a “pool party” and that guests shouldn’t wear much more than a swimsuit.

At least that’s what your mutual friend, Chris, had explained to you.

It had been a stressful final month of school—exams, moving out of your dorm and back home with your parents, finding a summer job—so when Josh finally chose a date for the party, you requested the weekend off and offered to help him get things set up.

Josh eyed you suspiciously, considering that you and he had been engaged in a sort of “will they, won’t they” dance for the past few months. You were locked in a battle wondering if he just wanted to check you off his list as another notch in his bedpost, and he was wondering if you even liked him as more than a flirting buddy, considering you seemed to have quite a lot of those.  

“You sure?”

“Totally!”

Josh took your phone and typed in the address for the lodge. “Can you come up Thursday? That way we have all day Friday to get ready.”

You nodded and plucked your phone out of his hand, but not before he tightened his grip, making you look up and smile at him as you tugged on it.

“Gimme. Or I won’t come up at all.”

Josh released his grip with his trademark grin before he schooled his features into a contortion of pain as he gripped his chest. “Call the medic! I’m wounded. My heart’s been plucked from my chest,” he exaggeratedly panted.

You tried to stifle your grin, knowing it only encouraged his antics, but how could you not smile at that adorable goof?

* * *

The drive up to the Washington Lodge was fantastic for your stress level—nothing but empty roads, gorgeous scenery, and all the cheesiest, upbeat pop music you could cram onto a playlist. When you finally parked your car behind Josh’s in the horseshoe driveway, you were humming the lyrics of the last song as you pulled your weekender bag from the backseat.

After you slammed the door shut and rounded the car, you looked up at the lodge and whistled.

“Jeee-sus.” You knew Josh’s folks were rich, but this was the kind of rich you had only ever seen on Instagram … or maybe on an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. It was so intimidating, it made you think twice about Josh.

He was just so … normal. Well, normal in a film-nerdy, goofball kinda way, but he never struck you as someone who grew up in a bubble of privilege.

It was close to 8:30 pm, but daylight still persisted and the pinkish sky lit up Josh’s face as he stepped onto the porch and looked down at you while you still stared open-mouthed at the lodge.

“Was the drive okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah it was great,” you said as you shook your head and climbed the stairs. “Josh—this place is … insane.”

“You’ve never been here?”

You shook your head no.

Josh frowned and thought for a moment. “I guess I forgot we haven’t known each other that long. You sure feel like an old chum, lil buddy,” he said as he slung an arm around your shoulders and walked you into the house.

“Chum? ‘Lil’ buddy?” you said with amusement.

Josh cleared his throat and removed his arm, nervously running one hand through his freshly cut hair. “What else should I call you?”

You bit your lip and looked up at him, a small smile on your face. “Guess we’ll see, huh?”

Josh grinned, his face lighting up as his white teeth flashed, and butterflies unexpectedly danced in your stomach.

“Let me show you around.”

* * *

The house was just as impressive on the inside, and when Josh finally showed you his room, you flopped on his king-sized bed and begged him to never make you leave. He laughed and made you promise not to move a muscle as he dashed out of the room, returning in about 15 minutes with food, drinks, extra pillows, and a stack of DVDs tucked under his chin as he tried to balance it all. He kicked the door shut, nearly spilling a bowl of popcorn he had tucked under his arm.

“Now you’re my prisoner,” he attempted to declare, but given the comical way he was shuffling toward the bed, you could do nothing other than laugh.

As he deposited everything onto the comforter, you asked, “DVDs? Is there even a TV in here?”

“Au contraire, lil lady. Behold!”

Josh walked over to the wall and slid the wooden paneling open, revealing a huge flatscreen. “Ta-da!”

“I really could stay here forever,” you mumbled as you kicked off your shoes and scooted to the top of the bed.  

“But don’t you think you’d be more comfortable in your PJs? Unless, of course, you sleep in the buff? And in that case, you would absolutely be more comfortable in your PJs,” Josh finished as he settled onto the bed next you, his elbow propping him up as he laid on his side to face you.

“If I came out of your bathroom naked, you wouldn’t even know what to do with yourself, Joshua Washington.”

“You’re right. I’d die of happiness,” he confirmed with a smile.

The room felt a lot hotter than it did a moment ago, so you sat up and looked down at Josh, his big green eyes bursting with affection.

“Let’s see how the night goes,” you promised with a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose.

* * *

As it turned out, the night passed chastely. You were a lot more tired than you had thought, and halfway through the first movie, your hand still sitting in the bowl of popcorn, you fell asleep.

When your breathing deepened and it became clear you weren’t going to wake up, Josh chuckled as he removed your hand from the bowl. He cleared off the bed and turned off the TV before snuggling into your side and quickly falling asleep.

Sunlight streaming through a huge window woke you up with a start. For a moment, you forgot where you were until you shifted under the weight of Josh’s arm. You smiled as you felt him stir, the arm wrapped around your waist tightening as he burrowed between your shoulder blades, probably trying to unconsciously hide from the sun.

Squinting, you shuffled out of bed and fiddled with the blinds until you figured out how to draw them. The room darkened to a greyish hue and Josh rolled over, seemingly still asleep. Since you were up, you went in to use the bathroom, and as you washed your hands in the sink, you looked at your reflection.

A slight blush colored your cheeks as you thought about how much you wanted to wake up like this again, preferably after figuring out if the big dick jokes the boys directed at Josh were because he actually was well-endowed or if they were just being idiots.

You had left your bag in here after changing last night, so you dug around for your toiletry case to retrieve your toothbrush.

After adjusting your tank top and sleep shorts, you gave your just-brushed hair a sexy tousle and glanced longingly at your lip gloss container.

“Too much,” you said with a dismissive shake of your head. You piled everything back into your bag, and exited the bathroom, hoping Josh was still asleep.

As you rounded the corner the bathroom was tucked into, you felt that familiar hot flush creep over your cheeks as you took in Josh’s form.

In your absence, he had sprawled out in the middle of the bed. He was on his stomach, his hands tucked under his pillow as he faced away from the window. His chocolatey-colored curls had lost their definition in the night and stood out against his light-grey pillowcase in a wild puff. The blankets were pushed down to his waist and the plain white t-shirt he had worn to bed was pushed up to his midback, exposing an expanse of light brown skin. His legs were spread, one foot sticking out from under the messy pile of blankets and you had to tamp down the temptation to see if he was ticklish.

You slid back into bed and settled on your side so you could face him. Tentatively, you reached out with your finger and ran it gently down his spine. His skin was smooth and the depression of his spine contrasted so deliciously with the strong muscles of his lower back that you wanted nothing more than to trace that indentation with your tongue.

Still touching him lightly, Josh stirred, his arms flexing as he stretched them before lifting his head and turning to look at you.

“Hi,” he said, his grin half-hidden by his bicep.

“Good morning.”

“Sorry. Forgot to pull the blind.”

“So you were awake?”

“Just waiting to see how much of me you’d touch if you thought I was asleep. Pervert,” Josh teased.

You opened your mouth in mock-offense and smacked his shoulder. “Rude.”

He chuckled and stretched again before he wriggled out from the blankets and stood, offering a mumbled, “Be right back,” as he made his way to the bathroom.

Josh wasn’t gone long, but it was long enough for your eyes to slip shut, a smile still on your face as you thought about him.

When you felt the bed dip, your eyes popped open.

“Sleepy girl?” Josh asked, his hand crawling under your tank top to rest on your bare stomach.

The heat radiating from his palm scorched through your body, a pool of arousal settling between your thighs.

“Not anymore,” you whispered as you looked at him, your eyes locked on his as you slid your hand along his arm, resting it on top of his.

Josh pulled his hand from beneath yours, off of your stomach and up to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek and slid closer, his body warm and connected with yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

In answer, you pulled him to you by the front of his shirt, causing both of you to softly sigh as your lips connected and began to move. You both tasted like the spearmint of Josh’s toothpaste, and when his tongue licked along the seam of your lips, you opened for him, the tips of your tongues touching before he dove into your mouth.

You kissed and kissed and kissed until you were both a panting mess, the blankets twisted around your legs, your once-sexily tasseled hair once again a mess, and Josh’s poof of curls even more wild than they had been against his pillow from you running your fingers through them, scraping across his scalp and around the back of his head.

Reaching for the bottom of his t-shirt, you tugged until he detached himself from your mouth so he could pull it the rest of the way off. You seized the momentary lull to push him onto his back, and as you sat up, you pulled off your tank top, Josh’s pupils dilating as he watched your breasts bounce.

Immediately, his hands reached for them, but you pulled back as you wiggled out of your shorts. Josh licked his lips and followed suit, pulling off his sleep pants. You glanced at the outline of his cock beneath his boxer-briefs and smirked.

“They weren’t just jokes,” you mused as you reached out and gripped him, pulling a mix between a moan and a chuckle from his throat.

It was your turn to control the kissing, so you straddled his hips and lowered your body to rest on top of his, once again relishing in the warmth of him and the masculine scent that seemed to be a mixture of expensive cologne and something that was just … Josh.

His hands roamed over your back and your backside, kneading and massaging as you kissed him—lips, jaw, neck, and when you sat up to catch your breath, he begged, “Ride me. Please.”

Again, that electric heat shot through your body and you knew your pussy was a mess for him. He reached up, finally able to wrap his big hands over your breasts, and you leaned back, grinding on his cock as he worked your nipples gently pulling on them before he leaned up to capture one in his mouth.

You shuddered as he sucked, his green eyes looking up at you, full of unabashed want and affection. He moved his mouth to your other nipple and you thought you might spontaneously combust if you didn’t slide his dick inside of your body within the next three breaths.

“Do we need protection? I’m on the pill.”

“Are you asking me if I’m a slut?” Josh said as he nuzzled between your breasts.

“Yes,” you answered, not caring if it sounded callous.

“I’m clean—and you?” he queried, laying back onto his pillows.

“Me too,” you answered before pulling down his underwear and moaning as you palmed his dick.

“Such a big boy,” you praised before looking up at him. “Tell me why we waited this long?”

“How about after we fuck?” Josh suggested, leaning up to tug at your panties.

With a huff of laughter, you slid your underwear off and returned to straddle him, sliding your soaking pussy lips over his cock until it glistened.

A whiny moan slid out from Josh as he watched and his strong hands reached up to grasp your hips and tilt them, the tip of his cock finally sliding inside your body. You adjusted the top half of him, sliding up and down a few times before taking him in all the way, both of you letting out a whoosh of breath once he was fully sheathed.

“Oh my god,” you groaned as your eyes rolled back at the sensation of his big cock. “Wow!”

Josh snorted and gave your ass a light smack.

“See what you were missin’ out on?”  

“Mmm,” you hummed as you began to ride him, slowly and purposefully, not wanting your first time together to be over in a flash.

“You feel so fucking good,” Josh stated as his hands slid over your body. “So good.”

The rhythm you settled into was natural, even lazy, like you had been fucking for years. It felt so right, to be here with Josh, to feel him moving inside of you as you locked eyes, both of you shedding your protective layers and letting yourselves feel exposed, finally knowing that all each of you would see in return would be a sweet tenderness, the kind that could easily turn into love.

“Touch me,” you breathed, leaning back to rest your hands on his thighs so he could have full access to your clit.

Josh’s fingers immediately went to work, stimulating your swollen clit. The sweat blossoming across his brow in tandem with the flush of red settling over his chest told you he was trying his best not to come before you did.

“Come, Josh. Come for me,” you commanded as you clenched your inner walls around him and swirled your hips.

His thumb stuttered across your clit until he couldn’t do anything other than grasp your hips, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass bruisingly as he cried out, his hot cum flooding your pussy while you rode him through his climax.

He looked beautiful as he came, his eyes widening before slamming shut as a series of gravelly groans fell from his parted lips.

Swallowing for breath and still hard inside of you, Josh flipped you onto your back and reached between your thighs, furiously working your clit until you came, clenching around his softening cock.

Josh said something to you, but you couldn’t hear him over the roar of blood in your ears. You shook your head and raised your hand, silently begging him to give you a minute.

Josh placed light kisses across the heated skin of your chest, before shifting slightly so his weight wasn’t crushing you.

“What was it you said?” you asked when you could finally form a sentence.  

Josh looked into your face, smiling. “That good, huh?”

You giggled and smacked his shoulder, again. “That was not what you said.”

His face turned serious as he nodded, clearly building his resolved to repeat his spontaneous emission.

“Will you be my girlfriend? I … I don’t want this to just be a one-time thing.”

You were speechless as your eyes roamed his face, your mind wondering how you got so lucky.

“Yeah. I wanna be your girl, Josh.”

“Fuck yeah!” he yelled, rolling over and pumping his fist into the air before he pulled you back on top of him, his hands tangling in your hair to pull you down for a kiss.

You pulled away after a minute to ask, “Can we cancel the party? Just do this instead?”

“And miss a chance to see you prancing around in a swimsuit for hours, knowing I get to tear it off of you at the end of the night?”

Your body flushed with a familiar warmth as you grinned. “Guess I didn’t think about it like that.”

“I can’t wait to show you off,” Josh whispered against your lips, both of you smiling as you exchanged sweet kisses.      

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

𝐈 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 {𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫} 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈

Part I : Growing Feelings

Request?: Liznix_

Character: Ran

Side Character(s): Technically the rest of TFTSMP The Pit Cast!

Story-type: The first part is platonic and a bit romantic at the end but the second part is romance and slightly angst

Story Length: 6450 words

AU or Not: Assassin! Ran AU! And a few of things would be different

Time Period: Future and technically the Subbin Empire

Plot Summary: hmm well i was thinking something like Ran is an assassin that infiltrated the games to assassinate the king (King Porkius VII) and the reader is someone close to the king, so ran tries to get close to them to get close to the king, but ends up falling for them accidentally and is conflicted about what to do.

Small Info: The Reader would be the king's younger sibling who is a few months younger than Ran who is 17 and the Reader is 16! Also instead of Jackie winning it would be Ran who would take John's place in fighting against Jackie!

Keywords:

Y/N = Your Name H/L = Hair Length H/C = Hair Color E/C = Eye Color

Trigger Warning:

- Mentions of killing and assassination - Falling into a huge conflict - Death - Slight blood and gore - Slight Catcalling

Normal Warning: Cringe writing cause yes- ✨

--------------------------------------------------

Third Person Point of View~

At this point Ran was thinking over what just happened. He denied the fact that he could have fallen for you and just stayed quiet. He had to do his mission for the sake of you staying alive and him as well. He felt very weak at this point.

Meanwhile, Jackie and Genevieve were fighting in the water dome thing and lastly Jackie won. You were pretty much not sure who to root for considering you liked them both and were good fighters but the boy won.

Porkius then told him to tell the three of them to come up for the Three Person fight. As Jackie went down he saw Genevieve being carried down to be healed. He felt bad but he didn't really have a choice.

As he went down he called, he found John and Bartholomew and told them that it was the Three person fight right now and told them to get ready. He saw that Ran wasn't here so he went to search for him only to find him in a corner putting his forehead against the wall.

"You okay Big Man?" Jackie asked which brought Ran's attention to him as he looked down.

"Yes and no." he responded to the shorter boy as he lifted his head from the wall.

"Well whatever is bothering you I hope you figure it out cause now it's your turn along with two others! Best of luck! I am rooting for you!" he said giving him a slight pat on the shoulder and running off.

Ran watched him go as he got ready to go through the water. He went up first whereas John followed him through the same one. They waited for a few for Bartholomew to get up from his side which he took a bit longer to come considering he is drunk.

After Bartholomew came up everyone was giving him a weird look considering he looked different. He technically said that you would have to look good if we had to survive in fights. Ran just shook his head at his words. He was too drunk for his own good. You on the other hand was thinking as to who left the alcohol downstairs.

The fight commenced after Porkius set off the zombies and made them literally swim through air to fight each other which was kinda difficult. At this point the entire thing was like a show until Porkius disabled the dive mode thing and now everyone was fighting like normal except zombies were chasing them.

Though the zombies were chasing John the most and Ran technically came out from the opposite area and started to attack John while Bartholomew was behind him. Before anyone knew it was Bartholomew and John fighting each other while Ran was using his strategy of being as isolate as possible.

"Ran is the only person here whose technique we have not witnessed yet. This is his first battle." Porkius said and as he did Ran took down Bartholomew.

Now it was just Ran and John who now had to fight each other to get the one spot in the Final Round.

"Oh my gosh! It's officially Ran versus Grievous." Karl exclaimed.

You on the other hand was amazed with his fighting skills and was quietly cheering him on. You were hoping for him to win at least.

"Oh he has he already has an entire army after him I think I am good." he said running the other direction laughing at his own words.

"No!" John wailed trying to attack Ran as he continued laughing.

"No I think I am I think I am completely fine actually I think I literally just have to keep on running away from that guy." Ran said continuing to run laughing.

This made Karl and you laugh at his words and what was going. To you he was actually pretty funny and to be honest this was the first time when you saw him goof off a bit especially here and his humor was pretty nice.

"I don't think that will work. The zombies are not very fast." Porkius said as Ran stopped.

"You're right they aren't." Ran said turning on his heels and started to fight John.

"You have to get much faster zombies next time king." Karl said turning to look back at the two fight.

You noticed that John was giving Ran way more hits than Ran was and was about to shoot him with an arrow but Ran quickly dodged it and lunged at him with his sword and struck a blow to John  making his fall unconscious as Ran stood victorious.

((Author: You really couldn't do what I just wrote here in the episode now could you Ran?! 🤦🏻‍♀️))

Ran literally thought he was going to lose and that rush of adrenal really nearly killed him. Luckily he was able to control himself from doing that. Karl was technically shocked along with Porkius with Ran's surprise attack. You were pretty much amazed at this.

He was quickly dismissed as John was taken away. God he felt about nearly killing him. He quickly went down the steps as everyone excluding John who was being treated right now looked at him as Watson and Jackie came up to him and congratulated him.

"Good job mate. You did well." Watson said to him while giving him a pat on the shoulder.

"Congratulations Big man! I will see you at our Final fight!" Jackie said with a grin.

At this point Watson was like a dad to him while Jackie was a younger brother.

"Your parents would be proud of you right now." Watson said which made Ran's eyes widen.

He slightly frowned as he looked down. He knew they wouldn't knowing what he was doing here in the first place. He had to quickly respond since he didn't want to them to get worried.

"Yeah they would be... if they still lived..." He said the last part a bit quieter which Watson was able to catch and felt really bad.

"I-I am sorry mate I didn't know." Watson said apologizing as Ran sighed.

"It's fine dad- I mean Watson. Sorry about that." He said quickly apologizing since he accidentally called him 'dad'.

Watson smiled. No one really called him dad that much but he was a pretty good fatherly figure towards everyone and Ran calling him dad was something he liked. He went to him and gave him a warm hug which surprised ran a bit. It has been a while since he got a hug.

"I don't mind you calling me dad ran, it's fine really. I am just letting you know I am here for you if you ever need me." Watson said.

Ran was shocked at his words. he felt like crying but he didn't want to seem weak. He wanted to tell Watson everything right now but he didn't want to knowing that it would ruin everything. He slightly hugged back as he thanked him.

After all that Jackie and Ran were now fighting in the Last Round though what Ran found out was how Jackie carried at least three Totems of Undying and he made a quick strategy so he doesn't use any of them and would able to kill him off without him coming back three times.

The fight didn't last too long Ran used his strategy and whenever he saw Jackie about to use a Totem of Undying he would simply somehow make it fall out of his hands whilst trying to use it and before he knew it he fell unconscious as ran won the event. The entire crowd was cheering for Ran as Jackie was carried down to be treated.

They had to wait for a few minutes for all the gladiators to come up. Once they all did Porkius literally told Ran to just kill them all of altogether. You knew well that this wasn't what was supposed to happen and you told Ran to just fight them unconscious and that's basically it.

Ran technically fought of all of them minus Jackie and Watson who were just keeping their distance not fighting at all. ran was able to make them all fall unconscious and was made General while Watson and Jackie ran off somewhere which the king didn't seem to notice nor care.

Oh and a Karl was basically able to take all the footage of the show which you were relieved since you didn't want him ending up like all the other ones which have somehow messed up. Then Karl just went somewhere and vanished which kind of made Ran suspicious but he shook it off knowing he had a mission to complete.

Ran's Point Of View~

I exited the stadium following Y/N. Technically the king was going to be here for a while and I had to go with Y/N which was okay for the time being. Before I could get down the stairs I heard a small 'psst' and looked behind me to see Watson and Jackie. Watson quickly came in and handed me a paper which looked like an address.

"This is my address if you ever feel like visiting me. Jackie is apparently planning in staying with me since he has nowhere to go now. I don't want to keep you waiting so bye Ran." Watson said as Jackie waved me goodbye.

I quickly followed up on the king and stood beside Y/n as we walked in silence. I didn't really know what else to say other than feel my heart beat really fast since I was somewhat close to her right now.

"So how are you feeling about all of this?" I heard her ask me.

"... You could say I am slightly nervous." I responded to her.

"That's understandable. How old are you anyways?" She asked yet again.

"I just turned seventeen last month." I said.

"Oh that's cool. I am sixteen and I will soon be seventeen in five months." She said as I nodded.

Before I could say anything else I heard a whistle and looked to my side to see a man was looking at Y/N which she seemed to notice but she was feeling pretty uncomfortable and to make things worse the man started to catcall her.

I took off my coat and draped it around her and gave a man a threatening death glare which seemed to scare him. Y/N looked surprised the fact that I gave it to her.

"Y-you didn't have to do that..." She said as I shook my head.

"It's fine really I couldn't really get him get away with that. Does this happen often?" I said and asked her as she slowly nodded.

"Sometimes not all the time." She said.

Timeskip to them reaching the palace~

We reached the palace after a few minutes as Y/N was leading me towards my room. As she was doing so I remembered what I had to do originally. I can't really get distracted right now. If I don't do this then I am dead and so is she. God I am just hoping these feelings go away. I noticed that she came to halt in front of a door which I presumed was my room.

"This is your room. I hope you like it. You can get settled in and I will come back after a few to give you a tour around the place." She said before leaving.

I entered the room and it was pretty decent. She did say she was going to come back later to give me a tour of this place. It was enough time for me to try and set my plan. I am basically given a month to do this and if don't do this by the end of the month I don't know what to do. I started to set a plan as I laid down on the soft mattress as I faced the ceiling.

Timeskip~

I had already set up my plan on assassinating the king but I just need to find the right time. At this point I feel like my boss has eyes on me whenever I do missions or maybe I am just paranoid. I am just hoping his two men aren't watching my every move.

Right now I am on a tour with the princess, Y/N. I actually like her company. She's nice and very beautiful- okay Ran stop it. You can't get distracted. God I hate this. She showed me around the place. I clearly made a map of the place in my head as she took me down to different places.

The tour was pretty long but interesting. To be honest being a general is something I could have originally taken if I hadn't really been an assassin. After the tour was done I went back to my room after telling her. I was planning on using the training room later. I looked out the window to see it was evening already.

I decided to go to the training room after a few m minutes which I did. The room was a pretty god place for training and other combat practices such as sword fighting, hand-to-hand combat and others. The King had already arrived after I was done with training.

After I had freshened up I had a quick dinner which the maid had given me inside my room. It was a pretty decent meal i got for the first time. Normally I don't get stuff like this to eat but it was pretty good.

After I was done eating I didn't really know what else to do I just thought of going to the garden at the back. It was a pretty nice and well made garden. I headed towards the place as I looked about in my surroundings like it was all new to me which it was but I have seen it a few times already in like a few hours.

As I arrived I noticed a lone figure sitting on a bench and once I came a little closer I noticed that it was Y/N. She looked beautiful under the moonlight. A blush crept up on my face at the thought ad I looked away. God I need help. I just met her a few hours ago and now this. I was able to calm myself down and went to her.

"Y/N?" I said which snapped her attention towards me and he face turned into relief.

"Oh it's just you Ran. Sorry I thought you were someone else." She said apologizing.

"It's alright really." I said and she smiled with a nod.

"You can sit with me if you like?" She asked as I looked at her for a few seconds before slowly sitting down next to her.

"So you like coming out here?" I asked as she nodded.

"It's one of my favorite places to be most of my time. My brother knows I don't like social gatherings much so she just lets me off to be here or in my room most of the time." She explained to me as I listened.

"That's very nice of him. I like the outdoors a lot myself. It's pretty calming to say the least." I said.

Then there was a small yet comfortable silence between us as we didn't speak but the sounds of crickets didn't make it so awkward. I hands slightly shook but I was able to stop it from happening.

"So you love your brother a lot huh?" I asked as she looked at me and nodded.

"Mhm! He's really the only one I have. After my parents died he took care of me the most. He would always think of my safety before anyone else's." I heard her say.

I felt guilt building up in me. After hearing those I didn't feel like doing my job and just wanted to run away from all this yet here I am doing my boss' dirty work which I am not even fond of doing anymore.

"That's... nice. I think I am going to go now. Goodnight princess." I said as I got up and walked back in.

I felt bad for not letting her say anything as I went away bu I couldn't bear it. I thought of just sleeping through the weeks until the last day where I am supposed to set my plan into action. I know I am going to regret this but I already hate it but I have to do it. I can't get distracted at all.

Third Person Point of View~

The weeks weren't so good for Ran as it went by. Everyday whenever he would do his job of getting closer to you, his face keeps on heating up at times.

The first week went by pretty fast.

He would train and do whatever he had to do. He would notice how you and your brother would talk down the hallway. It made him feel more bad on what he was already planning and it just didn't get any easier.

He tried to block out all his feelings so he could focus on his mission. He didn't want you to get hurt but he knew you would be more hurt knowing his brother was killed by someone she and the king trusted the most.

He didn't want you to be stabbed in the back.

But he didn't really see any other choice.

The Second week went by a bit slow. Luckily for Ran it was pretty fine considering he didn't want the months to go away cause he didn't want to do this. His feelings for you at this point was huge. He knew it was pointless having feelings for you knowing you don't even feel the same way so what's the point in having them.

Plus he wasn't even sure how the king will react knowing the General he is, is in love with his little sister. What he didn't know was that you also were catching feelings for him and would sometimes blush whenever he called you princess.

The king may have already noticed how his sister looks at the general. He smiles knowing her sister had maybe found love but he really didn't know if the general felt the same. He didn't want his sister to be hurt.

The third week went by slowly. Ran was right now in a huge problem. More like a huge conflict he wouldn't be able to get out of anymore. He has so many regrets right now. Yet here he is doing this crappy job he has fallen into.

If he had to end a person's life right now it was going to be his but he felt weak to do any of that. He just wished things would get easier for him for the next six days. Though he knew very well that wouldn't be happening.

Six days of the fourth and final week went by. Ran knew his feelings for you were strong. He loved you. A lot. Everything about you was just wow. If he had to describe anything beautiful it was going to be you.

This was now a huge problem. He didn't know what to do. He was just in a huge problem. Either way of doing things would just lead to death. He couldn't do it. But he had no choice. At this point he didn't care. He didn't care if you hated him after all this. She deserves better.

He had an event tomorrow to join the king for dinner with other kings and generals across the kingdoms and empires and he will be poisoning the king's drink. There was no turning back.

"I am sorry Y/N for what I am about to do tomorrow. I hope you one day forgive me." he said wiping his face which were covered in tears.

Let's see how things go tomorrow.

Timeskip to the last day of the month~

Ran's Point of View~

I walked down the hallways with my head lowered as I looked at the ground. Today was the day I would be putting my plan into action. Did I want to do this? No. Did I have a choice? No. Do I hate myself? Yes.

If god plans on sending me to hell for the things I have done then I would be happy. I deserve this anyway. As I walked I stopped for a bit and looked to my side to see the entrance to the entrance to the garden. I took a deep breath and headed towards the garden.

It was a pretty nice afternoon which was going to turn bad sooner or later thanks to me. I let out a huge sigh as I walked around until my eyes landed on a single bright pinkish-red rose. I slightly bent down and slowly plucked it out. Luckily it didn't have any thorns. I picked it up and put it i the inside pocket of my coat.

I then heard a faint voice. I think someone was... singing? I headed towards that direction and soon saw that it was Y/N who was singing. God her voice sounded like an angel. To be honest she looked like an angel who was sent in this world.

I swear I sound like a hopeless romantic at this point. I was about to move away when I accidentally stepped on a twig which stopped her singing as she looked in my direction. God spare me from this embarrassment.

"S-sorry about that Y/N." I said apologizing.

"Hey Ran and its fine really. But how much did you hear?" She said looking a bit nervous as she fiddled with her fingers.

"Um well I think I heard all of it? I am not really sure but all I can say is that you have a nice voice." I said as I went to her to sit down next to her.

"Thanks. You are really kind." She said as I shrugged.

"I guess so." I responded.

There was a small silence between us yet again. I couldn't really believe what I was going to do tonight. God I just hate this. Y/N is so nice and here I am just straight up going to kill her only family.

"So you are going to have dinner with my brother and the people from the kingdom am I right?" She asked which brought me back to reality.

"Yes I am. Are you going to be there?" I asked as I saw her shake her head.

"No. Even if I was I wouldn't be able to go since it's not something I should be there for. Are you nervous?" She asked.

Nervous? Yeah pretty much and not because of the many people going to be there but because of my plan of killing her brother.

"You could say that." I said.

"You don't need to be nervous. Everything will be fine. And here have this." She said and soon enough I felt her hugging me.

"This is for good luck." She finished saying as she released herself from it.

I smiled as I nodded. I noticed that it was getting late and I should get ready. Y/N seemed to notice it too. We both got up from the bench and were about to head off but then I remembered the rose in my pocket.

"Wait! Before I go, I want to you to have this." I said as I took out the pinkish-red rose from the inside pocket of my coat and handed it out to her. "It's for you."

She was slightly shocked but she gently took it from my hands as she smiled.

"Thank you Ran It's very sweet of you." She said.

Before she could do anything and before I could even think, I leaned down and kissed her on the lips. I quickly pulled away. God what was I thinking. She looked pretty shocked that I did that and was technically blushing mad.

"S-sorry. I will be heading off now." I said as I took out an enderpearl and teleported myself to the entrance of the garden.

God I think I just made this even more difficult for myself. Before i could head in, I heard the rustling of a bush. I looked behind me but I saw nothing. Strange... I thought there was something. I shrugged it of thinking it was just the wind. I let out a huge sigh and went to my room to get ready and to poison the drink.

Y/N's Point of View~

I stood there shocked, still not letting go off the fact that Ran just kissed me?! God I am such a blushing mess right now. I am just hoping he isn't beating himself up for doing that. I really like him as well.

I want to tell him but I don't think he is able to now since he has a dinner to attend to. My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of rustling bushes. I looked to my side to see no one. But I didn't feel like sticking around right now so I just headed for the entrance of the garden to go to my room.

But I just felt like someone was following me. God I think I am just paranoid. But this time I am actually getting the feeling I am being followed or watched. I quickly entered my room and closed the door and shut the windows.

Eventually I calmed down and sat on my bed thinking as I put my fingers on my lips. I blushed at the thought. I liked him a lot. Way more than friends. I decided that I will tell him after this. But for some reason i still felt like I was being watched...

Ran's Point of View~

I wore a decent formal outfit which all generals wear . Of course I still had my white Victorian shirt on me but my coat was a black coat with a green stone on the side like my usual maroon coat.

I was able to poison the drink which was laid at King Porkius' table without anyone present in the room. Though it did make his drink's color change a bit lighter color but I don't think he would notice.

I went out of my room and headed towards the dining pavilion. As I entered I noticed a few kings and generals have already arrived. Slowly and gradually all the guests were here and I was getting even more nervous.

I was introduced and greeted everyone as we all sat down. The king didn't seem to notice the wine was slightly discolored from everyone else's. I was thinking if I should let him have it or take it out right now.

After a few minutes the king was about to start drinking his wine. The glass was inches away from his lips and before I could think of anything I quickly knocked the glass of wine out of his hands and it landed onto the floor. The other guests gasped as King Porkius in shock. I knew I made the right decision.

"What is the meaning of this General Ran?!" King Porkius yelled out.

"Your majesty I can explain! Your wine was tainted and looked different from all of ours. I could tell that it was poisoned." I said immediately which shocked him and the other guests.

He looked at our wine glasses and his one on the floor which was sizzling. He then noticed that he was about to be killed if it wasn't for my quick thinking. Then the next thing I heard was a scream.

Not just any scream. It was a girl's scream and it belonged to Y/N.

I quickly got out of my chair as the king and a few guards followed me into Y/N's room to see that she wasn't there and instead it was pieces of broken glass on the floor with the window broken. I went over to see anything to help me find and so did a few guards.

I found a scrunched up piece of paper whose hand writing I knew very well.

It read,

You knew the consequences Ran. I sent two of my men look at you do your job to see if you would do it yet you failed me. Now your little princess is with me. If you want her to live then come after me. Then we will see what happens next. Oh and here is the location for it. You better hurry cause your princess wouldn't last forever.

- anonymous

I saw the location was written here. I scrunched up the paper and stood up and bolted out the door. I felt eyes on me as I ran out of the place and the palace altogether. But I didn't care. I had to find her. I can't lose her. I just can't!

As I entered the forest area I was straight away ambushed by his two men. They thought they could take me down this easily. God they seriously don't know that I have done my years of killing and stealth. I was able to take them down and killed them. Luckily I was wearing gloves so my hand-print doesn't get on the dagger.

I was glad to be done with those two and won't be seeing them for like ever. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the location but I didn't see where they were until I heard a faint cry and yelling. I went towards the direction of the clearing and found. I was finally able to find them but what I saw made me livid. He was hurting her and this made my blood boil.

"Leave. Her. ALONE!" I said which made my boss turn around to face me with an evil grin.

She was holding Y/N by the neck with her arms and had a knife in his other hand. I looked at her and she looked so scared and I hated to see this.

"Ah! Ran I am so glad to see you." He said with an evil smirk forming on his face.

"Leave her out of this Nicholas!" I said as he laughed evilly.

"Oh this is funny considering you were about to kill the king." He said which made me freeze as Y/N looked at me confused and scared.

"W-What...?" I heard her say.

"Tell her Ran! tell her how you were about to kill her brother tonight but decided not to and you just joined the Gladiator Event just to get close to her in order to do this job!" I heard him yell.

I didn't hear a response from Y/N. I could tell she was angry but when i saw her face, all i saw was how scared she was and the fear in her eyes. I had an idea on how to get out of this but it was going to be risky.

"Now Ran you either join me and kill the king off or I kill your little princess over here." He said.

"Ran don't- hmph." I saw my boss cover her mouth.

I already had my plan set in motion and I was hoping it would work.

"Alright... I will join you but please... let her go." I said.

"Good." I heard him say as he dropped her harshly on the ground.

"Now come here Ran." He told me as I looked at him as I came close to him.

"You know..." I started as he looked at me slightly perplexed as I took out my enderpearl. "I still remember how you always told me to never let my guard down." I finished.

I looked at my boss's face as it his realization of what I meant and before he could react I teleported behind him and was quickly about to stab him but he countered back but he didn't know I had another dagger and drove that straight in the heart.

I took out the dagger as he dropped dead on the ground. The dagger had blood. His blood. I looked at my now dead boss on the ground with his own pool of blood.

I panted as my heart raced. This was a close call. I looked over at Y/N who was also shocked and surprised. I dropped the blade next to my dead boss' corpse as I helped Y/N up. I expected her to slap me and hate me but she just hugged me. I slowly hugged back not sure what else to do.

"Let's get you home princess. Your brother is worried sick." I said as I led her out of the forest as we walked towards the palace.

Third Person Point of View~

The entire walk was silent as none of them said a word. It was not until that much until you started to speak.

"Why didn't you do it?" You said.

They both came to a halt as ran looked down at the ground. His messy black hair slightly falling over his eyes as he tried to find the right words.

"I never wanted to in the first place but I was threatened to do it. He said that if I didn't he would kill you and your brother which also included me as well." He stopped saying as tears welled up in his eyes eyes as it flowed down his cheeks.

He explained how he got himself into this mess and how much he hated this job he was stuck in. he even mentioned how he never wanted to do it in the first place. He even mentioned how he was supposed to get close and befriend you only to fall in love with you and how she had said his brother was someone who was her only family and that this made him think about his choices of doing it. He never wanted to hurt you in anyway possible.

You looked at him as you felt pity and bad for him. You still loved him and you couldn't hate him for this but the fact that he didn't do it was because he fell in love with you. This made your heart skip a beat. You didn't know what to think.

"Ran I could never hate you. I forgive you okay?" You said as you embraced him in another hug.

He didn't know what to think. You had forgiven him and that shocked him the most. He hugged you back slightly crying. He finally felt free. All the burden he had were now gone. Yet he knew those would still remain but he felt free. After a while you both released from the hug as Ran wiped his face.

"Ran?" You spoke up yet again.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response.

"Did you... regret falling in love... with me...?" She said.

Ran was surprised at her words. He didn't think of anything else as he put his hand on her chin and lifted it to make her look at him. Ran looked at E/C colored eyes. He could get lost in them for days.

Ran didn't hesitate and slowly leaned down and kissed you on the lips. This time you kissed him back while standing on your tippy-toes to slightly reach his height as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck while one his hands caressed your cheek.

The kiss was long and passionate and had to pull away for air. Ran pressed his forehead on hers as his hand was still on her cheek as his thumb rubbed on it. They both had a smile on their faces.

"I never regret falling in love with you Princess." Ran said as your giggled.

"I love you too Ran." He heard her say.

"I am glad. In case you are wondering I will still remain a General for your brother I am also planning on visiting Watson and Jackie sooner or later and they will be glad if you came along." Ran said as you smiled and nodded.

"I would love to." She said as ran gently picked her up in bridal style and kissed her on the forehead as he chuckled while you giggled.

"Come on now love let's get you home." He said as he started to walk while you held onto him close.

You both reached home safely as King Porkius was glad to see you safe and not harmed or hurt in anyway. He was very grateful towards Ran for protecting you and bringing you back here safely. He felt happy for saving you and him and forever grateful to have him.

Eventually you both did visit Watson and Jackie. They didn't live very far from the Subbin Empire which was fine knowing you could visit them any time. They were both happy to see you two and what you liked was how Watson treated Ran as his own son and Jackie treated him as a big brother.

But Ran was a different case.

He didn't care about his dark past and was finally able to start anew by being a General and having family like figures like Watson and Jackie.

He was finally happy to be with you.

His light in the dark.

The love of his life.

--------------------------------------------------

[nat-20s]

MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons.  Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car.  Satan is (sort of) fought.

~~

Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh  pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

~~

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

~~

Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and  pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

~~

Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

~~

Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you  YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large:  Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.  

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

~~

Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

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The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad,  Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

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Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝��̨̢̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy-  Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[burnedbyshoto]

Twice - Alphabet HC’s

a/n: this... actually made me appreciate jin so much??? like I never really thought of him romantically until now and... my heart D:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

He is big on affectionate. Even when experiencing large personality swings, there is one constant. You. he will always love you.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Taking his face in your hands and calming him down when he panics when his mask is gone. It’s small, it’s not even that big of a thing, but when you stare in his eyes… he feels whole, he feels split, and more importantly, he feels like there was nothing ever wrong

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

He LOVES BEING THE LITTLE SPOON OKAY???? HOLD HIM BETWEEN YOUR ARMS AND WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS IN HIS EAR

Isn’t always in a cuddling mood though, sometimes he’s too jittery to sit there

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He dreams of one day being able to leave his mask behind with your help. He wants to be able to feel comfortable with himself outside of the mask

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He puts in a lot of effort, even if he swings between being like “fuck romance” and “I love you with all my heart” the latter will always win, and he does. The. most.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He will be your guard dog. Holding you tight, glaring at anything and everything that comes near you. He will defend you, fight anyone. He will do this until you feel safe until you’re ready

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

He gives you the weirdest shit ever. Like not in a bad thing, just things you would never buy yourself??? I mean you always love the small and intimate gifts he ends up bringing you but you’re like “...why do I need 50 kg of rainbow slime?” “because you were talking about it for 2 hours, and well, there was a sale!”

He doesn’t want gifts in return, but loves every single gift you’ll give him in return!

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

His arms are ALWAYS hugging you!!!!!!!!!! Okay??? He just loves feeling whole and you’re his missing link

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He’s the kind of guy that others don’t think are being romantic, like they’ll look at what he does and will ALL be like “uhh…” and look at you ready to hear you complain but are instead greeted with you sobbing and throwing yourself into his arms

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Not a jealous bone in this baby!!!!! He trusts you to kick fucking ass to anybody who tries putting themselves on you. Will only intervene if you need him.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Not a good kisser, but his enthusiasm is highly and lovingly noted. He loves kissing you!!!!!! And will try to kiss you at least once a day, even if he has to go find you to do it.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He will say it before a year of you two dating. He knows he’s not the easiest to deal with, and the fact that you’ve stuck around, it really makes his heart go doki doki. He will say it all the time (“can you roll over? I need more blankets! Thank you, I love you.”) loves showing it and saying it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

He wants to marry you, las vegas style.

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

He likes paintball dates. Those are his favorite dates. He likes doing things with you, like escape rooms, all that shit!!!! He also enjoys laying a blanket by the fire and just eating dinner there. Likes having dates about twice a week ;)

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He’s not a big texter! So if you don’t see him irl you won’t hear from him at all for the day

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He likes messing around with you!!! Prank wars are a thing, and pranking others in the league is something that really tickles your funny bone.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Always asks for your opinion on things, he’s first and foremost super curious about all your thoughts, and he has self-doubt. He is a very open and honest person, so hell yeah he shares his opinions!!!

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Its very spontaneous or super predictable. Jin becomes more predictable when danger lurks, so you’ve associated spontaneity with better times

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

He sleeps with his head on your stomach, don’t ask why he just really likes having his face there! Plus it’s hard to breathe when he’s on your chest.

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

If jin had to decide on one person in the world to shoot a gun on the apple on his head from 12434243 feet away, it would be you.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His enthusiasm. You just do not ever expect it and when you realize that he is genuine and pure in all of his feelings and thoughts, it kinda makes you feel weird. But you love it, and you wish more people were like him, bold and brash and true.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Being truly vulnerable doesn’t take that long. He is an honest person and if he loves you and knows you feel the same way he’s gonna open up like nobody's business.

Jin is a bit frantic in this state, crying, highly emotional, tearing between different personalities like a pendulum swinging, but you don’t leave him until he’s calmed down.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Jin is making a scrapbook, full of every little thing that the two of you have done together. Every movie, ever amusement park, he has love notes, and he has pictures you weren’t aware of in the slightest way

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He will cater to you without even blinking an eye. He will run to the store for you, making you soup, getting a thermometer, fixing your bandages, and always giving you more water to drink.

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Nope, he loves you just for you. All of you. No matter how weird you are, he wouldn’t change a single detail about you. Why would he?

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He is a super intimate and passionate lover!!!!!!! He does the most for you and most times does it without even realizing it!

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is bouncing off the walls. He will go and grab everything for you as quickly as he can, he’s a bit sloppy though, not going to lie, but you still appreciate a large amount of effort he puts into it.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite feature is his hands, they’re just… a demanding focus on his body he thinks, and he knows how to use them in a way that makes you feel good. His favorite body part on you is your eyes. He loves that he can read exactly how you’re feeling by peering into your eyes. It’s just so much more satisfying than anything else. But if we’re talking body body, he’s an ass man.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is pretty thin and very milky, super fucking warm, and enjoys seeing it splatter against your face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s nearly fucked a clone he made of you one day after not seeing you in a long time, and he was so needy, and nothing was working! He knows your proportions like his name and well when it came to penetration he just couldn’t do it and had to call you immediately afterward.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is actually sort of experienced, he had a healthy sex life before his mental dip, and it’s still evident in the way he loves you. But he’s just so gentle with you sometimes you think that he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary or reverse cowgirl.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He can be humorous in bed, especially once he’s no longer so shy around you in bed, you two are the ones to argue about a Spongebob episode while he’s slamming into you

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s really badly groomed. He just doesn’t have the patience to groom it correctly. There are a few nicks and uneven patches, but you don’t mind. And the carpet is darker than the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He is a very intimate person when it calls for it. As long as you aren’t goofing off expect for his words to be a prayer to your body in your ear, his eyes peering lovingly into yours. His soul is yours.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Loves masturbating with you. Especially when the two of you are too lazy to actually fuck, he just loves watching the way your fingers fuck yourself as he madly fists away.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Isn’t that kinky, to be honest. Like he’s open to everything but there isn’t one thing that set him off because everything about you makes him horny.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He really likes fucking in a super big mattress, California king. He likes rolling around with you, so he needs the room.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The thing that gets him going is after you’ve showered and you’re just waiting there for him. You look so pure and clean and innocent, but you’re not and welp there he goes.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Will not ever put anything over his head. Blindfold, mask, gag. It makes him panic, it makes him freak out unless it’s his mask, but he tries not to wear it in bed with you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving it more. His skill is actually pretty good with this because he just enjoys using tongue, so he’s not bad at it at all.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual all the fucking way. Not that he doesn’t want to fuck you until the bed breaks, but there’s just something so much more rewarding about fucking you nice and slowly, his lips dragging against your skin… it’s just superior.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not into quickies unless that’s all he can do. He just loves the passionate foreplay that is proper sex and you can’t get that with a quickie.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is into experimenting as long as the two of you discuss it beforehand, he doesn’t like having things sprung upon him during a session. Discuss before enacting!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last a few healthy rounds, and he takes a while to come due to the slower nature of your sex.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t own toys, but will buy them when the two of you want to be kinky. He enjoys watching you use them on him. He’s a little more of a sub!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Doesn’t like teasing you at all, he’s very straightforward and won’t take you on a wild goose chase to get his dick in you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite loud, he’s already very vocal, and well when you’re fucking him he has no restraint. Moaning and groaning are his favorite noises.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He wants to one day use his quirk to fuck you. You want more than one of his dicks surrounding you when he does you, and he may not be quite ready for that, but one day maybe when he’s ready it will happen.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a bit smaller than average. 5 inches flaccid and 6.5 while erect. Very veiny dick that’s more concentrated along the front of his cock.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a semi-high sex drive. Like he doesn’t need to fuck every three days, but he enjoys it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

As soon as he’s done providing for you, he will pass out LOL

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 166

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 18 - “Bombarded! Karen’s Private Life” Date watched: 23 December 2019 Original air date: 3 June 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/ZG2NYcH Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

ah yes the perfect disguise

Mika wants to interview Karen at home for the paper, and ends up learning a lot more about both of them than she probably anticipated. Shenanigans ensue! Let’s take a look!

The Plot

Masuko Mika approaches Karen at lunch, showing her a huge pile of requests that the Cinq Lumieres Times has received requesting to know more about the Student Council President’s home life. Karen wants to do it at the school, but Mika insists that the interview be done at Karen’s house, to get a better sense of how she spends her free time.

Meanwhile at Nightmare HQ, Bunbee gaslights Arachnea’s lackluster performance and she mutters something about using her full power the next time. You know, the usual banter. I only include these interactions in the summaries because sometimes they advance the plot.

That Sunday, Mika shows up at Karen’s mansion and is blown away by its size. 

The appropriate reaction, honestly

Karen greets her in casual clothes and assures her that her home life isn’t that different from anybody else’s, which Mika doubts. Jiiya, the butler, asks if Mika will be the only representative from the paper that day, to which she nervously responds that the paper has a lot going on. She takes in the sights of the mansion as Karen leads her to the back patio, where they sit down at a tea table for the interview. Mika begins to ask Karen how she likes to relax when she’s not doing student council work, but their solitude is interrupted by a series of butlers carrying tea, treats, and condiments. Karen quickly recognizes these butlers in their identical bad wigs as being her friends, who have come to see how the interview goes.

She grows increasingly flustered and excuses herself from the table to go chew out the other girls for interrupting and distracting her, but they say they just want to make sure she doesn’t blab about Precure. (Let’s be real she’s about the least likely of them all to spill that secret). Karen escorts Mika to the greenhouse to continue the interview, where she remarks that maintaining the plants is a lot of work but if she doesn’t do it, nobody else will. (Hmm, that sounds familiar) Notably, MIka’s glasses fog up from the humidity, and as she takes them off to clean them she mistakes a nearby plant for Karen.

the resemblance is truly uncanny

Unfortunately, Nozomi and co decide to hide out in various spots of the greenhouse wearing goofy disguises to mess with Karen. Mika comments to herself on how surprisingly discomposed she is, not seeing the other girls, as they leave the greenhouse. Meanwhile, Arachnea shows up, looking for trouble.

Out in the garden gazebo, the interview continues. Mika asks when Karen feels relaxed, and as the other girls pop up from behind a hedge with signs cheering her on, she says that she feels relaxed when she’s finally alone. At that moment, Jiiya shows up with some cream puffs for everybody, and Nozomi, Rin, Urara, and Komachi quickly come out of hiding to chow down, surprising Mika. At this point, Karen snaps at them, chewing them out for coming over uninvited and interrupting her private interview.

Mika is surprised to see this side of her, and mulls it over while Karen escorts the other four off her property. Jiiya confides in Mika that Karen has gotten a lot more lively since meeting those four, and she feels she can be open and honest with them. Mika admits to herself that she’s a little jealous of Karen’s friendships.

Arachnea manages to lure Mika back to the greenhouse, and the girls notice her heading in there after they catch a pinky, so they follow her in to find that Arachnea has transformed it into a steamy, overgrown bog and has the journalist trapped in a giant pitcher plant. The villainess turns a decorative jar into a Kowaina, which jumps towards the girls and just happens to bump Mika on the way, knocking her glasses off. Nozomi leads the group in transforming, not caring that they may be seen. They try to attack the monster, but it is extremely nimble, jumping around on frog-like legs, and it avoids their attacks. Some quick thinking by Lemonade frees Mika from her trap, and Aqua carries her to safety, telling her to run away. Instead, she takes pictures of the battle unfolding behind her as best she can. While this was going on, Arachnea managed to get the other four girls into a puddle of quicksand or really thick mud, where they start drowning and can’t escape. Aqua punches Arachnea out of the way and performs Aqua Stream on the mud pit, turning it into water that the girls can float in. She then turns her rage to the spider woman, berating her for putting her friends in danger, and that despite their tendency to impose on people, they are her precious friends! Lemonade realizes they need to slow the Kowaina’s movements to defeat it, so once again Aqua comes through with a plan. She again charges at Arachnea, baiting her into using her webs, and then dodges out of the way so the webs latch onto the kowaina’s leg, stopping it from moving around. Dream performs her attack and Arachnea retreats, not wanting to fight a pissed off Aqua. The greenhouse returns to normal, and Cure Aqua returns Mika’s glasses to her, but by the time she puts them on and turns to face her saviors, they have disappeared.

The five friends walk back to the front entrance of the mansion, worried about the contents of the next day’s newspaper, sure that their secret will be spilled.  Mika returns to school, fully prepared to write about this fantastic encounter. However, she runs into Otaka, who is getting some exterior work done on her stand, and when she shows her the pictures, Otaka asks if she got permission from these girls to write about them, which Mika obviously didn’t. The lunch lady and secret school principal reminds her that, as a good journalist, she should keep her subjects’ feelings in mind.

The next day, the girls are all surprised to find that the headline in the paper is exactly what was promised: the expose on Karen. It details how her friends came over and caused a fuss, and her own shocked expression, and a quote from Jiiya about how she’s brightened up thanks to them. At the very bottom is a request for an interview with Precure 5, but no pictures or anything are included. While Nozomi and Urara try to figure out what to wear for this interview, Karen just looks over and smiles at her goofy friends as the episode fades to black.

The Analysis

There are two big takeaways from this episode. The first, most obvious one, is that Karen’s mild-mannered, reserved appearance belies someone who is easily frustrated when things don’t go her way. We kinda knew this already, but now her real self is being seen by more people. She loses her composure pretty easily, and squabbles with her friends, but it’s because they are friends that she’s able to let down her guard and act like this with them. They’re a bunch of goofs and she loves them, as much as they may drive her crazy. It really sheds light on how Karen has grown since we met her.

To be fair to her, the other girls are being abnormally goofy. It’s almost like they’re intentionally trying to sabotage her interview, or a similar phenomenon to when you’re on an important phone call and your friends make a ruckus in the background to make it sound like things are out of control wherever you are. We get some great moments of comedy out of them, starting with the butler disguises with bad wigs and their hair sticking out, to the animal outfits in the greenhouse (see the gallery), culminating in these signs they make right before the cream puffs come out. It’s like they egg each other on into more and more extreme gags to try to get Karen to mess up. It reminds you that these are still children.

Nozomi’s sign is on-brand

The other, more subtle but more interesting, observation is something I have suspected for a while now: Masuko Mika seems to be the only member of the Newspaper Club. We’ve never seen anybody else, the paper seems to exclusively publish stories of personal interest to her, by her, and today she dodged the matter of being alone by saying the paper was busy. She implies but doesn’t outright state that there are other people who are on other projects, which appears to be a misleading lie. Later, when she reflects on what Jiiya told her about Karen’s friendship, she says she’s jealous, implying she has no friends of her own, certainly none that she can be as close with as Karen is with Nozomi and co. It’s been so long since I watched this series that i honestly don’t remember how this plays out, and I’m eager to refresh my memory. Come to think of it, I don’t remember her appearing in GoGo at all, but we’ll cross that bridge next year.

Her choice to respect the cures’ identities was a good one and it shows how she has also developed since we first met her. Mika, originally, was only kept from writing about the Precures because she ran into a hot guy (Nuts) which instantly distracted her. She gave no consideration to their thoughts on the matter, even when they requested to not be written about. It took some prodding from Otaka, but this time she chose simply to ask for a formal interview. They will almost certainly not grant her that, but it’s mature of her to do that and it shows that she’s improving as a journalist.

This does raise the question of whether Otaka knows about the girls, at least that there is something going on in the school, because she seems nonplussed by the notion of superheroes in the city. However, she could just be dismissing them as cosplayers or local heroes or something to that effect. I wouldn’t mind a little more insight into this matter.

This episode has a couple other little details that I like. It gives Mika an occasion to take off her glasses for a moment, and we see through her eyes just how weak her vision really is. This is a setup for later in the episode, when she loses her glasses while kidnapped, and can’t clearly see the girls transform into Precure or the ensuing fight, which inadvertently protects their identities. It’s convenient but they did establish her poor eyesight in advance, which I thought was clever.

And speaking of Mika again, she gets a lovely reference in this one that I don’t believe I noticed before. When she’s doing her introduction, she does the original Kamen Rider transformation pose.

She did the whole arm sweep so it’s not just a coincidence. It’s not the first and certainly not the last Kamen Rider reference in Precure, but it was funny because the scene otherwise has nothing to do with tokusatsu.

Another minor point of note: We get see Karen use her Pinky Catch for its so-named purpose, and by extension, we finally know what her instrument is: a violin. To recap: Nozomi: triangle. Rin: horn, Urara: harp, Komachi: flute, Karen: violin. Together they make up the world’s strangest band.

The last subject I want to touch on is less to do with the show itself, and more the translation. I..... kinda don’t like it. It helps to understand the troubled history of getting Yes 5 fully subtitled in order to really understand my complaint, so if you want to learn more, check out my post on the status blog, but you don’t have to.

So what’s my complaint? The meme subs.

The term “alternative fact” didn’t enter the general lexicon until 2017, it should not exist in a show from 2007. I can tolerate meme subs to an extent, but anachronistic translations of period dialog just drive me up the wall. Her statement, “Sonna koto nai desho ga!” is a pretty straightforward denial which could be written as “No I’m not” or “That’s not true”, and the purposeful inclusion of a meme from 10 years after this show aired annoys me and takes me out of the experience.

In a more positive note, this episode has some excellent facial expressions and you should check them out in the gallery.

EDIT: Whoops I forgot to write about the summer uniforms.

It’s almost a color inversion of the winter uniform. The socks are now white (they were black), the dress is dark purple with white stripes on the hem of the skirt, compared to the pale lavender with dark purple stripes, and the jacket is white instead of dark purple, with a lavender collar (winter is white). The cuffs are now the same color as the rest of the jacket instead of being the color of the dress, and therefore the stripes have to be a third color (in this case they match the collar instead of the jacket) so that’s a change. I’m honestly underwhelmed by it. The summer uniform is usually a short-sleeved blouse with no overcoat because of the warmer weather, whereas this is essentially a pallet swap. It looks fine but it doesn’t make me think “oh, it’s summer and the weather is warmer now.”

Next time, Urara is being stalked.... by her family? Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Kettei!

[waywardnerd67]

Convention Blues

Title: Convention Blues Square Filled: Handjobs Pairing: Jared x Reader Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader Warnings: Fluff/Smut Summary: Watching (Y/N) hold her first ever panel at a convention has more of an effect on Jared than he would have never thought.   Word Count: 1424 Created for: @spnkinkbingo

Check Out: SPN Kink Bingo 2.0 Masterlist

“What’s it like to be on the same show as your husband?” the fan asked.

Jared had just walked behind the main stage of the convention to catch the last few moments of his wife, (Y/N) Padalecki, panel. She had just join the show as a reoccurring character that butted heads with Sam Winchester. Having her in Vancouver more often had help his depression and homesickness. He watched as a soft smile spread across her lips before she walked towards the side of the stage.

“It’s interested to work with Jared. To me, he has and always will be Tex since we on the set of Gilmore Girls. To see his,” she faked cough, “professional,” she faked couch again, “side is a real treat. More so, to see the second family he has surrounding him.”

(Y/N) paused smiling brightly out to the audience, “Seeing all of you, well words can’t quite describe. I just want to thank every single one of you for moment. Y’all have no idea how much you have help Jared, what you mean to him and just how much you are a part of him every day. Without your love and support, I don’t even want to think about where he would be right now. So, thank you all so much.”

Jared’s heart was bursting with admiration for his wife. She chuckled looking towards the fan who asked her the question, “To answer your question honestly, it’s been wonderful but he’s also a great big pain in the ass sometimes.”

Everyone started laughing including Jared backstage. He watched her captivate the audience with her beauty and wit. Part of him was so proud of her, but a bigger part of him was jealous. He did not want to share her with anyone else and now thousands of people were falling instantly in love with her while she spoke on stage. He wanted to run up there and whisk her away to a far away island where they could just be together all alone.

Jared heard the band playing as she walked off stage. Seeing her cheeks flushed from the stage lights and the way she bounced down the small set of stairs had Jared’s body reacting on impulse. Rushing over to her he grabbed her hand pulling her down a blocked off hallway before anyone could get to her.

“Jared, what the hell?” she asked having a hard time keeping up with him.

He flung open the door of an empty meeting room and pulled her in pushing her against the door shutting it. Never before had he been more thankful that she was wearing a skirt. His lips crashing down to hers as he locked the door. (Y/N)’s hands were gripping his biceps as one of his arms wrapped around her waist holding her firmly against him.

“Jesus Jared, what has gotten into you?” she asked breathlessly as his lips traveled down her neck.

His other hand hiked up her skirt running his long fingers against her soaking panties, “Shit baby always wet for me.” He said nipping at her neck.

“Well yeah, when your hot as fuck six foot five husband drags you into a room and attacks you with his body can get a girl worked up.” She said grinding her hips against his hand. “Jared, please we have ops soon.”

He pushed her panties to the side letting his fingers glide over her slick lips until he pushed two fingers deep within her. She let out a deep, raspy moan as he slowly pumped in and out of her. His cock was aching within his jeans, but she was right they had joint ops followed immediately by his panel with Jensen. His cock was just going to have to wait while he brought her to the release she was begging for now.

“Jare… Jared please faster. God, I need you to move… fuck!” he was pumping into her hard now. The sounds of her juices all over his hand echoed throughout the room.

(Y/N) was holding onto him tightly as she grinding her clit against the palm of his hand. Her walls were tightening around his fingers and she was close to coming. He kissed the crook of her then gently bit it commanding her, “Come now baby.”

“Oh god! Jared!” she cried out her body trembling against his as she shamelessly grinded her hips against his hand.

“Baby, that was so hot, but we have to go now.” He whispered through his gritted teeth. His harden length almost painful with no release in the near future.

Their photo ops went great and he loved how the fans were giving (Y/N) all the love with their poses. For the first time in his career, he finished their ops early and had about ten minutes to relax before his panel. This time (Y/N) was the one dragging him down the same hallway to the same room they were before.

“(Y/N), we don’t have time…” she cut him off with her lips on his. A deep groan vibrating throughout his chest as she stroked his cock through his jeans.

“Hands against the door, Padalecki.” She commanded as his eyes went wide.

(Y/N)’s character was a by the books sheriff who was working with Jody Mills. In a recent episode, she had Sam against a wall frisking him as he was caught breaking into an abandon building. After filming the scene, he admitted to her that all he could think about was her hands reaching around him and getting him off. Which was why it took them so long to get the scene filmed since he kept goofing off with her.

As Jared placed his hands on the door and spread his legs slightly, (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his waist letting her hands ran along his length. “Hmm, seems like your packing something here. I will need to see what it is.”

He let out a soft moan as she undid his belt and jeans. The pressure being relieved from his cock felt wonderful. Then he looked down seeing only her small hands slipping down into his boxers. “Fuucck.” He mumbled as he felt her giggle against his back.

“Sorry, that’s all the time for role playing we have for right now.” She whispered pulling his cock from his boxers and her hands wrapping around it.

Watching her hands work over his cock was better than any porn film he had ever seen. He never got why so many men loved handjobs when they could be in a woman’s mouth or pussy. Now, seeing his fingers slide over his length made him groan pushing his hips against them.

“Baby, faster.” He grunted as one hand started jacking him off swiftly. Her other hand gently cradling his sack making his head fall forward, “Yes, fuck (Y/N) just like that.”

Her hand was gliding over his swollen head and his hips instinctively were snapping into her hand. He could feel his orgasm building rapidly as her hand softly squeezed his balls making him cry out. “Shit! Fuck I-I’m c-com…”

His orgasm hit him hard and fast as his seed squirted out hitting the door in front of him. A lot of it trailing down over (Y/N)’s hand as she continued to pump him slowly until his body finally relaxed.

Cleaning himself with his boxers and putting them back on, Jared turned around to see (Y/N) licking the last traces of his orgasm off her hand. She looked up smiling proudly at him as his jaw slacked.

“This con cannot end soon enough. Fuck.” He whispered already feeling his cock twitching inside his pants.

She pulled his lips to hers then said, “We have all day tomorrow to fuck all around our hotel room. For now, you have a panel to get too.”

He sighed heavily nodding but first he pinned her against the table behind her as his tongue invaded her mouth. He just wanted to see what kind of effect this whole experience had on her. His hand slipped between her legs while his fingers slipped inside her panties. “Jeez Jared, we don’t have time for you to be doing this.” She said biting her lip.

“I know. I really just wanted to see how wet you were after jerking me off.” He backed away from her as she rolled her eyes.

When they opened the door, Jensen was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest looking sternly at them, “You two done? We have work to do.”

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967 @akshi8278 @ericaprice2008 @deans-baby-momma @spnbaby-67 @1967-essentialghoul @dean-winchesters-bacon @-lovepeacenhope- @destiel745 @carribear31 @srsllydunnodoncare @whimsicalrobots @thisismysecrethappyplace @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @adoptdontshoppets @mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @drakelover78 @imascio08 @pisces-cutie @dwgrl1903 @mannls @the-salty-asian @winchesterprincessbride @xostephanie @superromijn @witch-of-letters @time-travel-bouqet @screechingartisancashbailiff @myinconnelly1 @sister-winchesters99 @thekatherinewinchester @babykalika2001 @maddiepants @tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @destielhoneybee @carryonmywaywardcaptain

[tinkdw]

14x06: Toxic Love v Healthy Love

14x06 watching notes.

This episode we see our Cas stand-in (Jack) team up with Dean and ask him to explain what love is, with Dean explaining that he very much does know the difference between healthy romantic love and toxic romantic love (exposed this episode with the zombie boyfriend “don’t leave me, it’s better you be dead and stuck with me than leave to live your life” storyline which I’m sure has no correlation to Dean and Cas coming up where they may be separated but let each other go, I’m side eyeing you 14x08). With Yockey emphasising that the lesson he himself exposed last season of sibling toxic love (the witch sisters) has also been learned as Dean and Sam exhibit perfectly healthy, open, communicative sibling love. 

And I mean...  mirrors...if we get any more mirrors Dabb’s going to have to open up a funhouse on set.

- So the episode opens with a Cas visual reminder with Harper wearing a beige coat before she changes after that job of “remember Cas in this episode” is done into her *warning sign* red clothing. Beige trenchcoats in Vancouver are clearly in limited supply after SPN has decided to dress everyone in one for the Cas effect. Get yours now.

- “Mary and Bobby’s" well, that didn’t take long to be an established thing.

- To Jack nothing tastes right without his powers whereas to Cas nothing tastes right with his powers >....>

My theory as a firm endgame human!cas meta writer with the later addition that Jack is a mirror exposition of each of TFW’s arcs that Jack gets his power back because he wants and chooses it as a part of his identity and Cas decides to be human in opposition because of his own choices and identity feels like it’s being fed here. Excellent.

- Sam smiling at the fidget spinner gives me feels of a positive goof nature

- Jack feels guilty for not killing Michael while Dean feels guilty for enabling Michael and I have feels about them understanding each others’ guilt and not pushing each other to get over it but just being supportive.

- Sam and Dean COMMUNICATING! MARK THE CALENDAR! Dean knows Sam won’t be particularly happy about him taking Jack hunting but he doesn’t hide it, he calls Sam and lets him know. Sam in turn doesn’t forbid it but shows he is not happy with it. COMMUNICATION. Taking into account each others’ judgement but not stifling each other. I’m living. This is what I was saying about the toxic sibling relationship v healthy sibling relationship in my opener. Steve clearly has big feels about this just as we do and wow he’s done an amazing job at firstly highlighting it with mirrors and metaphors then slamming it home with text... side eyes all the current metaphors and mirrors being highlighted for *other themes*.

More under the cut...

- Lol @ the barn behind Dean in the diner while Jack fills in the Cas visual gap.

- Wait did they even explain where was Cas is?! Nope. Yockey didn’t even bother cos he knows how stupid anything will sound lmao. *Cas is *throws dart** is about right here lbr.

- Chuck Berry as Dean and Jack’s pseudos. I love it.

- DEAN TURNING THE COCK AWAY WHILE TALKING ABOUT SEX I CANNOT. WHERE ARE THE GIFSETS?! I NEED GIFSETS! I WILL REBLOG ALL THE GIFSETS! it literally goes from talking about courting, dating and specifically sex and dean gets awkward and turns away the cock. I MEAN. This ain’t even SUBTLE.

- Are we supposed to see the two women they interview as a couple, I’m not sure. 

- Charlie’s story is A. sad AF B. Political AF. C. Super thematic to the show. She worked at Richard Enterprises as a nice callback to show Yockey knows his canon on OG Charlie, then her story is full of fanfic tropes an ultimately death. Now, I hate kill your gays as much as anyone but I don’t think this is what Steve’s doing here, he literally can’t have her gf alive here. Now could Charlie go off to find her in this world? That would be brilliant.

- Did dean just call sam Thelma lol

- So Jack says he has no understanding of romance despite seeing Dean and Cas doing “googly eyes” each other to death and saying he knows this means someone loves you. 

x

So Jack is the one who doesn’t know as the Destiel romance GA stand in where they figure it out but so does he so they don’t feel stupid as there’s someone on screen who’s like oooooooh I see now! So Sam can have the role of “I knew all along I just didn’t want to force you out of your comfort zone or get involved in things that don’t concern me” just as he did with Mary/Bobby last episode and which explains all his “strictly into Dick” “maybe you’re overcompensating” “because it’s Cas” lines from previously. Brilliant. Please continue.

- “Old man” good cop bad cop with sass. Jack, I love you.

- Jack doing all the OG Hunter tricks I love it. Again Yockey telling us he knows canon and knows what he’s fucking doing. Good lad.

- Sam: “people need people, we’re social animals”. Yockey and Dabb laying down what BS it is that Sam and Dean want to be alone just the two of them nearly every episode now is just the best. Sam wants people around him, now imo he’s not necessarily telling Charlie she should stay a hunter, just that it would be a real shame for her to ostracise herself on top of a mountain with wifi all alone. He gets that, he gets the escapism after all the trauma but he wants to help her and thinks she would be better off surrounded by others, my family and friends and he’s offering this to her and well, he knows this is what helps from his own experience. He’s living this change and seeing the benefits for himself. Just. So much yes.

- I also love that Charlie’s personality is part similar to ours but also part totally different because she’s not the same. Good, thank you Yockey. She’s not a replacement for our Charlie. No matter how hard Bucklemming may try and think they “fixed” her original death. She ain’t our Charlie and they haven’t fixed it. We are grateful to have some semblance of her but you are not forgiven for your complete lack of credibility, writing skills and total problematic behaviour regarding both her and all the other things you’ve done just by giving us an AU version of Charlie. 

- So Harper is evil, quelle surprise. She exposes a codependent and unhealthily toxic relationship where she preferred to kill her boyfriend and tie him to her, having him literally kill and eat others rather than just let him go and live his life. So, I will write a separate post about this because I think it is the theme of the episode but this heavily reminds me of Yockey’s witch sisters being a dark Sam and Dean mirror of toxic sibling love last seasons, emphasising their choice to be toxic or healthy, with them now exhibiting all the healthy and rejecting the toxic behaviours. 

So who is Harper and her boyfriend a dark romantic love mirror of now then with them potentially soon to choose a healthy route instead in direct opposition and one of them letting the other go, hmmmm I wonder...

x  Just getting this gif out again cos well I’m sorry but Cas wasn’t even in this episode or last or last last yet he’s all over them with not just human!Cas stuff here but also all the Destiel like wow... it’s impressive tbh.

- Meanwhile Dean is dishing out healthy relationship advice. Again this feels relevant to Cas’ recent admittal to Nick that he had to “eat” someone to live in a way ie possess Jimmy for his body. This feels even more like a metaphor for his giving up his grace and exposing Cas again as not this but having his own body now created by Chuck just as everyone else does. Just in case people want to continue to use this argument against him and Destiel with the necrophilia rubbish which is already totally disproved but again rears its head in a “clearly this is not the same as that” way with actual dark mirror necrophiliac toxic love going on.

- Okay so we have more blatant overt textualised metaphors with the word “metaphor” in the text with Charlie v the big fly. They really are hammering home the concept of “pay attention to metaphors and mirrors people” this season. Wowzers.

- Next week’s promo also gives us another mirror with Jack driving the impala and telling Dean “it’s like I’m you!” “no it isn’t”. Honestly, is this a memo that they have to do this every episode because I approve. Knock that memo home.

- I would also like to point out as @margarittet reminded me, the queer story in this episode (Charlie x her girlfriend) is beautiful and positive though tragic due to outside circumstances and the heterosexual story is toxic and gross with codependency, necrophilia and murder by Harper’s own choice. This isn’t to say it’s anti hetero it’s just making a point that it doesn’t matter who you love it’s what you do with it and who you are that counts.

And isn’t that a beautiful way to end this.

[deeahhnuh]

2019!

I've done this year-in-review thing since 2007! 2007-2012 are over on my old LiveJournal, and 2013-on are right here on my Tumblr. :)

2020. 2020! That year sounds space-age or something lol, and not like it's just, well, tomorrow. Happy New Year, Tumblr!

What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?

Not too much, lol! I guess I just kept doing the things I usually do, but tried to do them better/improve them (when it comes to work!), or do more of them (fun times and family times!).

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Every year I mention that I don't really make New Year's resolutions - more like little goals all year! - but hey, it's a new decade! This year I think I will make a resolution that I will hold myself to. In 2020, I resolve to work hard - like really hard - on being healthy! Eat right, exercise, lose weight, work on maintaining less stress - be good to myself! I know everyone makes that kind of resolution, but it's a good one for a reason. :)

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Aw, no new babies this year!

Did anyone close to you die?

Sadly, yes... my uncle (my dad's oldest brother) passed away in May. ♥ We also lost a beloved neighbor in August.

What countries did you visit?

Lol, none!

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

I seemed to lack the ability to chill this year, haha - I stressed out about everything! :O So I’m ready to go with the flow better in 2020!

What date(s) from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Can’t think of any big dates, but this December marked 5 years since I graduated (and gave a speech at the departmental ceremony, to toot my own horn lol!) from the University of Maryland! Time is bizarre - 5 years feels both forever ago and also not that far back!

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I’ve been working in the registrar’s office at a community college for three years now! I love it, and I’m proud of the work I do!! :)

What was your biggest failure?

Everything’s a learning experience of course lol, but thankfully I didn’t goof too bad this year! ;)

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh my goodness, I started off the year with a thumping in my right ear (the name for it is “pulsatile tinnitus” - which somehow makes it sound scary!). :O Happily, that mess dissipated in a few months’ time, but it sure did worry (and annoy) me! Other than that - all good! :)

What was the best thing you bought?

I was very fortunate this year to buy a few things that really made me smile!

I do love a perfume! Dior Addict is a stunning, spicy vanilla (I love ‘em sweet!) that really hits the spot.

I’m also pleased, on the “I stan goofy dance music” front, to have found a couple of old Ministry of Sound compilations that I’ve had bookmarked on Amazon for awhile - they came back in stock this year and I snatched ‘em up. Anthems Sound of Dubstep (2012) is brash and obnoxious fun, and Sessions Ten (2013) is slightly less brash but just as obnoxious so I love it. They’re both releases from the Australian arm of MOS!

Oh and one of my fave used record stores had a copy of one of DJ Rap’s “Bad Girl” CD singles with mixes I didn’t have; I was kinda shocked to see it and very very happy to buy it! It was only 99 cents. Wow!! I do like a ridiculous deal! :)

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mom is amazing, as always, and so are my dad and brother! I love my fam!!

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one!

Where did most of your money go?

See above - my more frivolous spending went toward perfume and goofy dance tunes, haha!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I will never, ever forget opening a very special present for Christmas this year. I love and adore It’s a Wonderful Life, and I even wrote a paper about it in college. I used a fabulous book as one of my sources - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book by Jeanine Basinger - and since then I’ve always had it in the back of my mind to purchase it someday. It’s a fantastic keepsake kinda thing for a fan of the movie. Unfortunately it always seemed to be out of stock, or way too expensive to consider, so over time I kind of just put it on the back burner.

But just a few days ago on Christmas morning as we all opened gifts, I tore wrapping paper off a box, pulled off the box top, and bam - there it was. Decorative tissue paper obscured it, but I could see the book cover peeking through - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book! My mama, the best mama, found this awesome book for me! My Christmas - my year! - was made! ♥

What song will always remind you of 2019?

Here’s a Spotify playlist of the songs that I loved this year; most are old releases lol. New(er) songs and albums I loved this year:

“Like Sugar” by Chaka Khan. Funky!

“Lost in the Fire” by Gesaffelstein feat. The Weeknd. Cool and atmospheric!

“Lights Up” by Harry Styles. Boy band guy makes good lol! Great tune.

Mazy Fly (2019) by SPELLLING. Dark, richly layered, weird, beautiful.

The Destroyer - 1 and The Destroyer - 2 (2019) by TR/ST. Two EP-ish releases that make up a whole album-ish listen. The Destoyer - 1 slightly edges out the second release, but I just like hearing so much synthy TR/ST goodness!

Compared to this time last year (2018), are you:

Doin' all right, and hopeful for a great start to 2020!

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Listen to more albums - new or old! The last few years I seem to listen to a handful of albums a year, then spend the rest of my music-listening time playing dance music compilations. Ah well, maybe I'll catch up on my massive "to listen" list in the next decade lol!

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Stress (see above lol) - but I'm def working on it! :)

How did you spend Christmas?

Family time!! ♥

What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2019?

Nothing, yay lol!

How many one-night stands?

None lol

What was your favorite TV program?

My silly cartoons! Family Guy, American Dad, Bob's Burgers, and SpongeBob SquarePants (lol idk, nostalgia is hard to kick!) still make me laugh even though I am otherwise a perfectly reasonable adult. :)

Bravo's Real Housewives - all of 'em! - crack me up and bring the totally ridiculous drama!

The Orville is fantastic, one of my fave more recent shows. I love the cast! Each episode really adds to their stories and builds the show's world. Looking forward to the next season!

Emergence is a great new sci-fi show with a strong cast - especially the sensible, big-hearted lead Allison Tolman - and suspenseful storyline!

I haven't seen the first season, and to be honest I don't think I'd be able to explain what the heck it's actually about because I'm easily confused, but American Gods caught my attention this year! The cast is excellent - even if the plot escaped me, lol, I really got into the characters.

And What We Do In The Shadows! Such a delight!!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

I love a classic, slightly minimal style, but I'm just happy to look decently put-together lol!

What kept you sane?

My fam, my entertainment stuff (music, movies, TV, magazines), working with wonderful colleagues... ♥

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No! :O

What was the best book you read in 2019?

The It’s a Wonderful Life Book was probably the best book I read (well, most of it!) this decade. ♥

What was your greatest musical discovery?

SPELLLING is awesome - definitely an artist I'm excited to hear more from!!

What did you want and get?

I won't say The It’s a Wonderful Life Book again! :)

On a more serious note, I had my first MRIs in a while for MS maintenance - my previous neurologist retired and my new doctor wanted to get a baseline. I was very, very anxious about getting the results. My former doctor last ordered an MRI in 2011, so this was definitely a good and highly necessary step, but very nerve-wracking! I'm so fortunate to not be experiencing symptoms - and haven't since my initial occurrence of optic neuritis in '09 (though I was actually diagnosed with MS in 2011) - but what might the MRIs (brain and T- and C-spine) reveal?

I wanted to receive good results - a report of stability, not progression. And would you believe it? I did. My (amazing!) neurologist gave me the greatest news I had all year - stable, no new lesions, all good!! Of course this is for now - who knows about the future? - but I'm thrilled, and thankful. As this year ends and I reflect on all the good, this takes the cake!!

What did you want and not get?

Pffft, nothin' lol! I've got so many lovely things and reasons to be thankful - who could ask for more?!

What was your favorite film of this year?

Lol I did not see many new movies, but of the '19 films I saw, my fave was Knives Out! I only just saw it yesterday - what a fun way to close out the year! Fantastic cast, clever story, funny - just all-around entertainment.

I also loved Yesterday. All the Beatles references and the obvious affection for the group and their fans just felt like a great big hug! So good!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Girl I'm well and truly a thirty-something now - 33!! I had fun! I did lots of little fun things with my fam - like shopping, watching movies, that kind of good stuff!

What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Like I said above - who could ask for more? Not me! :)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I'm late to the David Harbour bandwagon - but better late than never!

And also Daniel Craig in Knives Out was a good thing.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Ew, there's something stirring like every hour or so.

Who did you miss?

Losing my grandmother at the end of last year really colored a lot of this year... and then losing my uncle added more shadows. ♥♥♥

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019?

I always answer this one with a twist on the Pet Shop Boys song title and my life philosophy - "Happiness is an option." So here we go! The chorus of the song acknowledges that "it is not easy," and some times are definitely like that. This year had those moments, and next year will too, because that's how life is! It is often not easy.

But! The last bit of the chorus follows "it is not easy" with "happiness is an option." Things can stink, but they can be okay too. That's what "happiness is an option" has always meant to me, and it means that just as much this year. Maybe even more!!

What quote can be used to sum up your year?

See above haha! "Happiness is an option” has been my fave quote for years, and I’m gonna keep on living it! :)

[read-itand-weep]

Allergic Reaction

Masterlist

       They were sitting around before filming started again to finish an episode for “Run” prizes that were won during the games they played that day and today it was food. Min was messing around with Jungkook and wasn’t really paying attention when they told them the food that were being brought out. All the boys were all smiles and laughing and goofing off. Min looked at one of the producers when Jungkook turned to Yoongi to talk to him. “There isn’t any fish or nuts in this right?” The producer shook his head. “No.” Min nodded. “Good, thank you.” The producer nodded and smiled and went back behind the cameras to finish what he was doing. He felt a hand in his hair and looked over at Jin who was on his right and smiled. “Yes?” “Nothing just wanted to play with your hair.” Jin smiled and continued what he was doing and Min laid his head on his shoulder. “I’m glad that today is almost over i’m exhausted.” Jin nodded. “Me to.”

       Min sat back up when the staff told them to get ready. “So since team MinMin won they got more food than the other.” One of the producers told them. Min, Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook all cheered while Hoeseok, Jimin, Namjoon, V all clapped for them slightly frowning in disappointment. Jin spoke up “If it wasn’t for Kookie and Min we would of lost so really it’s their win.” Yoongi nodded. “True.” He smiled at the youngest members. “Stop you’re making blush.” Min said jokingly making everyone laugh. Jungkook just smiled and bowed slightly. “Thank you guys.”

       Everything was going fine for awhile as Min was eating some chicken. They were all messing around having a good time. Min looked up when he felt a pat on his back and saw one of the producers leaning over him to put another plate of food in front of his group. He smiled up at him. “Thank you.” He picked some of it up with his chopsticks and quickly ate it. “Mmmm this is so good.”  He smiled then frowned and started coughing. Jin looked at him. “What, what’s wrong?” Min looked at him with a look of fear in his eyes. “What’s in this?” He asked coughing and breaking into a sweat finding it hard to breathe. At this point all the boys were looking at him worried. “Meat, rice, greens..” The director was cut off by Namjoon asking. “Were there any nuts or fish in it?” He rushed over to Min and Jin crouching in front of Min, Min grabbed Rm’s shirt tightly trying to breathe. “There are peanuts in the sauce.” Jin snapped his head up. “HE ASKED YOU IF ANY OF THEM HAD NUTS IN THEM!” “J-jin p-please.” Min pleaded. “Okay I got ya.” RM looked up at Yoongi and Hoseok. “Get me his epipen and call an ambulance.” They nodded and hurried off as Jungkook and Jin got Min on the ground after taking his shirt off. “Okay breathe buddy.” RM smiled at him calmly.  Min’s eyes started closing. “No come on stay awake.” Jungkook shook him lightly which stirred Min. Yoongi came running with the pen in his hands and pushed past the others and stuck in Min’s thigh and pushed the button down and held it there for a few seconds. Min felt his breathing get better but he still layed there. “There he is.” Jin said smiling lightly pushing his hand through Min’s sweaty hair once their eyes met. Min just closed his eyes trying to calm himself down. He shivered. “C-cold.” Jimin and V took off their coats and put them over him. “Just until the paramedics come.” Min grabbed Yoongi and RM’s hands and gripped them tightly to find something to ground himself. He coughed and his breathing was still rigid. All the staff were looking on worried. Hoeseok rushed in with the paramedics right behind him. “They are here.” The paramedics rushed to Min, RM and Yoongi backed away and Min whimpered trying to find their hands again. Jin hurried and grabbed one of Min’s hand. “Shh shh… You’re okay.” Min calmed down and the paramedics got to work on Min after taking the jackets away.

       All the boys but Jin because was in there with him were watching the Ambulance drive away when Yoongi got really mad. He went up to their director the rest following. “Who was it that said that there were no nuts in anything.” The director looked at them. “He’s been fired.” “Good.” Yoongi said. Namjoon looked at all his members who all looked concerned. “Well let’s go to the hospital.” They all followed their leader to the van and got in and it was a quiet ride.

      At the hospital Jin was sitting next to Min’s bed holding his hand while watching him get a breathing treatment after getting an IV full of antibiotics. Min turned his head slowly and looked at Jin giving him a tiredly smile. “Sorry for making you and the boys worry.” “Don’t apologize, it can happen to anyone, and we are always here for you and we are always going to worry.” Jin smiled. “Can you breathe better now.” Min just nods tired. “Get some sleep i’m sure you are exhausted.” Min hummed in agreement and closed his eyes falling asleep quickly. Jin sighed and watched Min’s chest to make sure he was breathing still. He was broke out of his gaze when his phone started ringing. He brought it pocket with his free hand and saw that Namjoon was calling. He answered it quickly. “Yeah he’s okay… Getting a breathing treatment and a bag or two of antibiotics...He’s asleep...Yeah you guys can come in just be quiet room 214, you’ll be able to find it there is a bodyguard in front of the door.” He hung after they said their goodbyes.

        The rest of the boys came in quietly and Hoseok rushed to Min’s left side taking his free hand. “Is he okay.” He whispered to Jin who smiled and nodded. “Yeah it just took a lot out of him, the doctor said that he should take it easy for a bit, but can still perform just not as hard as he always goes.” The boys nodded and watched Min for a bit. An hour later Min woke up and looked around seeing all the boys sleeping brought a smile to his face. He sighed not knowing that Yoongi was awake. “You okay?” Min jumped a bit and chuckled quietly into the mask. “Yeah just tired and want to go home.” Yoongi got up and sat on the bed by his feet. “You scared us back there.” He said putting a hand on Min’s leg. “Sorry.” “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.” Yoongi said in a playful tone. Min smiled “I love you guys.” “We love you to.” Yoongi smiled and patted his leg. “I’m going to go get a nurse to see if we can break you out of here.” Min nods and lays back into the pillows watching Yoongi leave.

The other start to wake up and notice Min is awake. “Where’s Yoongi?” Jimin asks. “Getting a nurse so i can get out of here.” They nod and Yoongi and a nurse come in. The nurse checks him over and says he’s free to go after giving him an inhaler and some antibiotics which he thanks her for. Jungkook and Hoseok help him up and Jin puts a sweater on him to stop the shivers. Jin wraps a arm around Min’s waist to help steady him. Namjoon comes over and puts a mask over his nose and mouth and a hat on his head. “There are paps everywhere, so just to be safe.” Min nods and Taehyung comes over to the Jin isn’t and supports that side as they walk out of room and out of the building. The lights are blinding as they step foot outside and Min whines and puts his face into Jin’s chest. They hurry make their way to the van and get him in first Jin right behind him. The others get in and they are out of the parking lot fast. On the way to the hotel Min passed out on Jin’s shoulder and the others sigh in relief glad that their youngest members was okay. To say that they babied him a little is an understatement, they have always looked after him and babied him a little but for the next couple weeks it was 100% more.