#July 27 2023

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3130 - July 27th

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

[flurty]

*loafs*

LOAF!

[ivebeenmade]

You need to feel. You've been a dead girl a very long time. You need to wake up and feel. You're not tired, you're numb. You're dead and you need to wake up.

If knowing is what it takes then that's what it takes. I was there ok? I was there and IT'S OK. I was with you. I felt it. It was so bad. It was. It was so bad and everything you suspect is so right. If that's what it takes then I'm telling you it happened. I love you. I love us. I love living. Please be alive. Feel things again.

It was so bad but it can be so good. You have so much good happening to you. So much life to live.

We are all so young still.

Please.

Stop letting this kill you.

Cry. Scream. But laugh. Let us love and feel it all.

I was there. I know.

~love magni

[mermaidinthecity]

haileesteinfeld: Miu Miu Summer Club Forever! 🐚🌊🍹✨🤍

[thehiddenhermit]

Bayonetta really is like Dante, but cooler

[vyxart]

[oliviaculpofashionblog]

What: Miu Miu Runway Frameless Sunglasses - $610.00. And HERE for $670.00 Where: Instagram Pic - July 27, 2023

Worn with: Miu Miu vest and skirt and boots

[rantsandotherwritings]

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist for next month. I’m a bit anxious, but mostly relieved. I’m already rehearsing my monologue.

“I need a diagnosis or a prescription or some kind of drastic lifestyle change.”

That’s what I’m going to tell him. I can’t predict what he’ll tell me though. My experiences with therapy have all been different.

The first time a saw a “counselour: was at university. One of my lecturers died suddenly in the middle of a semester and I didn’t know how to cope. I genuinely considered packing up and going home, but it was also the semester before my last and I’d have had to wait a whole year to write my finals. 

I stuck it out and met with the school counselour a few times and we talked about my general guilt over having a good time and taking breaks. She told me to watch “Gifted” with Chris Evans and wrote letters to my other lecturers so I could have extra time to finish all my final assignments. I don’t remember much else.

My next time in therapy was with a psychotherapist and it was NOT a good time. That was when I first suspected that I might be experiencing PMDD symptoms and she was not having it. It was not something she would consider, that my hormones were involved at all.

It was not a safe place for me. I didn’t really want to tell her the truth about anything, because I felt like she would judge me.

I told her about the time my boyfriend’s friend posted an inappropriate message about me on my boyfriend’s birthday and how upset I was over it and her conclusion was that I care what other people think, I care about my image. When at that point, I was just hurt that my boyfriend hadn’t stood up for me. He should have known I’d be offended by something like that.

My mom used to come with me to my sessions and wait in the lobby and my therapist implied that meant I was too dependent on my parents. In all honesty, she wasn’t wrong. I am more dependent on my parents than the average twenty-something year old. And that was NOT the evidence of that. My family’s culture is that we’re there for each other. My mom or her sister (or even I, on one occasion) take their mom to the doctor or to run tests. As much as is possible, she doesn’t go alone. Unless nobody can manage, someone always goes with the others to the doctor if they’re open to it. I couldn’t understand how this was different.

Eventually I admitted that this therapist was not for me and I stopped seeing her.

A bit later, we came across a new one. She seemed nice. She had kids. Her office was in the same building as my workplace. It was a match made in heaven. Our first session, she sent me home with a comic to read! She was so understanding and she sent me to do some hormone testing to make sure my thyroid wasn’t part of the problem. Even though my hormones were normal, it was so validating to be heard, to feel like my voice mattered.

I stopped seeing her after one session where I felt embarrassed. We were talking about the menstrual cycle and she exclaimed at my ignorance of how it worked in terms of the fluctuations of hormones and their effects at the different phases.

“You should know this??!!”

And of course she’s right, but I no longer felt safe. I felt judged and a little ridiculous. So we had a conversation about me not needing any more sessions. Then the pandemic hit, the next month I think.

Since then, my mental health has been tossed between bad and worse. I can’t even remember a time when it was good.

I’ve always been anti-medication, mostly because my parents have been. And recently a friend advised against any kind of mood-altering drug. Her withdrawals were nightmarish. And where she lives, the mental health care system is so much better than where I live, so IDK if it’s a risk worth taking.

But I am also tired. I don’t want to have to accept that this is just the way it is, that this is how it will always be. I need some kind of intervention.

[music-asylum]

July 27, 2023

[averbaldumpingground]

The secrets he could tell, as lifeless as her eyes were on the threshold. Another promise broken here, with ashes scattered to the wind like leaves.

[ravennaramos]

Phew I had a lot of dreams last night, one of which took place at my aunt’s (fictional) house in Boston. Both sides of my family were there, including my dad and brother. At some point, actor Carson Boatman walked in wearing a dress and heels but no wig. My family flipped out on him like very homophobic, it wasn’t great. Esp my Puerto Rican family. My bro and I were trying to say it wasn’t a big deal and was nobody’s business

Later, I was walking around downtown Boston (which looked more like San Francisco- very hilly) and I saw a crowd gathering outside a radio station. WPIX were the call sign letters written in neon on the outside of the building, I think. Turns out people were buying tickets for an upcoming Yankees/Red Sox game, and I got sad because I knew I would miss it. But I was glad to see folks wearing Yankees gear in Boston

[salcelli]

Today, July 27 2023, the US government has confirmed the existence of alien life

#US #government #alien #life

[mermaidinthecity]

bonniemckee: Thank you for all the love on SLAY! I cracked open the vault and resurrected these unreleased bops just for you, and I’m so grateful you love them as much as I do 🤗💖 I hope you’re ready to sweat cuz the next banger is comin and issabouta get HOT 😉🔥

[thehiddenhermit]

I got all the ingredients for kimchi jigae, let's fucking gooooooo!

[maraczeks]

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