#Julidwight

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

Still no stars.

The trial was over, and Julian was set free. They found another man guilty, someone who had been sending both Dwight and Julian death threats. He was home for the first time since the killing, sitting outside the room where he had ended Dwight's, his eyes was watering up already. He stepped inside and his eyes shot to where Dwight's body fell. He flashed back to giving him CPR trying to revive him, and then to him just holding him crying and screaming in hysterics. 

He crawled into bed, and laid there facing Dwight's side, Julian had started crying begging for him to just come back because it wasn't fair. They had gone through too much together for that to had happened and to separated them. Julian had been tortured by Adam, and Dwight forcefully pushed him through that whole thing, without him he wouldn't had survived the aftermath. They were good together, and each one was the other's reason to keep going.

Julian's eyes was red, and had cried as much as he could and was probably on the verge of dehydration. He was just sitting there alone thinking about how Dwight had to look into the eyes of his lover, while the hands that often comforted him, strangled him to death.  Julian had pushed Karen, Logan, Cameron, and Clark all away. He wanted to face this alone, because it was his mess to face, and it was too much. He got up and went to the bathroom. Dwight's clothes and things was still laying around as if he was still wondering around trying to figure out what to wear. He had recently become a little self conscious of how he appeared when he was out with Julian, due to interviews and fan girls. Julian returned to the bed with a glass of water and a full bottle of sleeping pills. He couldn't do it, the guilt weighing him down, he couldn't keep going.

He sat down on the bed, he was nervous and shaking. He opened the bottle and he tilted it to dump them in his hand and the bottle was flung out of his hand. They spilled out onto the floor by his desk. Annoyed that he couldn't even commit suicide without messing something up properly, he got up and sat down by the desk and started picking them off the floor, he was going to swallow them as picked them up but his water glass slipped from his hand and poured out onto the floor too. He decided to leave the mess for whoever was going to find his body. He'd start over with a new bottle and a new glass.  He stood up and seen a pen writing by it's self on the note pad, that he often scribbled notes on for Dwight when he had to leave early for shoots. He couldn't turn and look away, he couldn't avoid reading it. The pen dropped and he took the note pad. "You're stronger than this. I don't blame you for what happened, it was a demon, it wasn't you.  I know it wasn't you. Stop thinking it was you. You'd never hurt me, I know you wouldn't.  Jaybird, you can't do this, don't you dare hurt yourself because of this. Don't be afraid, don't be guilty, don't cry... you have to move on. I can't come back to you, believe me I asked... well begged actually, and this was the best I got. You deserve to live a long and happy life, and maybe you'll find someone else to love, just don't forget me. Please don't forget me. -Dwight."

Julian was on the ground crying all over again. He set the note aside but he still held it in his hand, afraid it would disappear. "I-" He choked on his sobs. "I won't find someone else... there was only you.  How could you think i'd forget you. Never. Never, Dwight... Never.. I can't do this." He broke off again choking again. "Yes you can..." Julian broke off and looked around wanting to see him. "Where are you? I can hear you.. oh god I can hear you.." He forced himself to get control of his breathing so he would maybe hear him again. "here."  Julian looked to the right of him but seen nothing. "Please stop crying... I don't want you to be this sad over me."  Julian sighed and nodded, he felt something cold touch his face and wipe away his tears. "I can feel you... you're so cold beautiful." "I'm sorry... I know how you hate the cold." "Don't say sorry, Please don't." Julian put his hand on Dwight's hand smiled just a little. "I can't do this without you." Julian was still shaking slightly. "You can, Jay, just try. Please?"  Julian nodded, he couldn't argue with him, then he was encased in Dwight's arms, he could feel him as if he was still alive and hugged him back. He closed his eyes and buried his face into Dwight's neck.  They stayed like that for a while but when they pulled away Dwight was visible. "I can see you, beautiful." Julian smiled and caressed his face softly. He had his other hand on Dwight's back just holding him there. He was drinking in every detail of Dwight's appearance. He looked well, the dark circles under his eyes was completely gone, his complexion was a healthy, but still very pale. He was wearing a black tee shirt, the scars on his arms were as if they never existed. "You look good." He said softly. Dwight smiled. "Thanks... you know they we're wrong... heaven is full of gays." Dwight laughed a little, he really did look happy. "You'll be okay, Julian... Don't do this." he said picking up a pill and tossing it away. Dwight leaned over and softly kissed him. "I have to go.. now." Julian grabbed his hand and held it tightly. "No." he said shaking his head. "Don't please, please don't leave me." "I have too... they've done too much for us as it is... I asked to just write you a letter to save you, and they do this." He said squeezing Julians hand. "Dwight please.." Julian said quietly. "I-"  Before he could finish, he vanished. Julian closed his hand and looked over at the letter. He had to keep going. 

[becausenoothernameisavailable]

julidwight

http://becausenoothernameisavailable.tumblr.com/post/11900404591/together-a-dwulian-ficlet

Here you go Anon A Julian and Dwight ficlet

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

No stars.

"Julian?" Dwight called from the bedroom he shared with Julian, he left the door open and he watched his boyfriend open up a few windows in the hallway. "Could you close those sweetie? The wind is breaking my salt lines." Julian walked over to the room where Dwight was, and followed his gaze down at the broken salt line at the door way. Dwight looked up at him and smiled. "Jay? Did you hear me?" Dwight laughed a little. "It's too windy.." Julian walked into the room and shrugged. "Wind is nice, don't you think?"  Dwight walked past him and shut the door. "It's too cold, too." He mumbled while going for the salt to fix the door.  Julian grabbed him forcefully by his upper arm, slamed him back into the wall, and pinned him there. "Jaybird..." Dwight said nervously.  Julian was never forceful with him he never even held his hand tightly out of fear of making him flash back to Derek being to rough with him. Julian let go of Dwight's wrist, and his hands flew to his neck. He applied too much pressure as he watched the younger boy choke for air. "I... I can't.. Ch-" Dwight was fighting with Julian, but the actor was stronger, more toned, and there was no way Dwight would ever be able to fend him off. He was just using up his energy. "Christo.." Dwight whispered. Julian's eyes turned black, and he smiled. "He's watching you die." He whispered applying more pressure. Dwight started to black out, his arms fell down at his side, his life was slowly fading out. He used what little energy he had left to keep his eyes open. "I killed your brother too." the demon whispered to Dwight as he choked on his last breath.

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

A fic called haunted house.

This is pointless, but I was bored.

"Why are you spending halloween night in a old morgue again?!" Dwight asked while rubbing the sides of his head. Julian had explained it to Dwight twice now but the idea hadn't quite set in at all. It had only just begun to hit him that Julian wasn't allowed to bring anything with him meaning no salt or iron, and that alone made everything 10 times worse. "It's this silly charity thing, i've been dared to spend halloween night at the Mortuary and if I manage to stay in the building till noon tomorrow the person who dared me will donate two million to help the kids." Julian explained in a soft tone, he sat down beside Dwight and wrapped an arm around Dwight's shoulders and pulled him close.  "I don't like this at all." Dwight looked up at Julian not believing that he was actually going through with it. He had half the nerve to argue his boyfriend out of the idea, and half the nerve to just avoid arguing with him out of fear that something would happen to Julian. Julian felt terrible about going through with it, but he had to. He signed the contract for the charity event and nowhere did it say you could get out of doing something because reasons. "Dwight listen, the building is used as a little haunted house to scare teens. No one's been hurt, no one's reported anything freaky. There's nothing there. I'll be fine, I promise." Dwight hugged Julian tightly, and leaned his head on Julians shoulder.  "I just don't want anything to happen to you." He whispered.  "Hey." Julian said not wanting Dwight to get emotional about this. "Nothing is going to happen to me. There will be guards outside, and cameras inside. You'll be able to watch from the net." Julian added in hopes of giving Dwight some comfort. "That doesn't make things better." Dwight mumbled as he pushed Julian back onto their bed. He laid his head down on Julians chest and listened to his heart beat while he cuddled him for the last few moments they had before Julian had to go. "Who the hell would dare you to do this for two million anyway? That's a lot of money..." Dwight asked having been suspicious of the dare for a while.  Julian laughed a little. "The entire cast of my old show got together and did this... they said it's payback for all the cherry lollipops, whatever that means. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." Julian said getting up from their bed.  Dwight grabbed him and pulled him into his arms, deeply kissing him goodbye. "I love you, Jaybird." Dwight said quietly. "Love you too, and i'll see you tomorrow." The two parted ways, Julian got into the limo that waited outside for him and Dwight ran up the stairs and waited for the live stream to begin. 

_____________________ Noon the next day didn't come soon enough. Julian's beloved former cast mates had surprises hidden around the haunted house to give him a good scare. They had all grown up with Julian and knew  how to play on his fears. When sleep was attempted they had a clown shake him awake, chainsaw noises also kept him from falling asleep. Freddy Kruger made an appearance and chased him around.  They announced what was going on because anything happened, so that kept Dwight from being too alarmed. But that didn't keep him from pacing outside their house waiting for Julian to arrive once he left the mortuary.

Julian got out of the limo, and Dwight attacked him with a hug that sent them both stumbling back. "I'm so glad you're okay." Dwight said after a few minutes, his arms was still tightly wrapped around Julian, there was literally no space to spare between the two. "Dwight.." Julian said clearing his throat. "Yeah, what is it?!" Dwight asked. "Beautiful, you're going to have to let go, because I can't breathe." Julian said taking a deep breath as Dwight let go of him.  "You're friends are so mean to do that to you though!" Dwight said giving Julian a less tight hug, and then let go again. "Come on, I made lunch." Dwight took Julians hand and walked with him to the living room where he had a couple things to eat.  "I don't even get the lollipop thing either... I mean what was that? I never ate them all on set, I shared..." Julian sighed and sat down beside Dwight and laid his head in Dwight's lap as he ate a few cherries from the fruit bowl that Dwight had sitting there for him.

"You... really don't know?" Dwight asked in awe. How could he not...

"I really don't know." Julian said smiling up at Dwight.

"What?"

"Pay back is gonna be a bitch."

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

A drabbled called Goodnight kiss.

Dwight was sitting in his room flipping through the pages on a exorcism book not really paying attention to it at all. It had been about three days since he’d last seen Julian because he took the week off to shoot a few scenes for his tv show. Dwight had sent Julian a few text, and called him once or twice trying his best not to bother him, but his phone calls always went unanswered, and his text was never replied to, and his worry was starting to peak.

He was concerned about Julian being over worked, especially with them trying to film an entire episode in just seven days. But his main concern was that Julian was pushing himself too hard. It had only been a month since he had been rescued from Adam’s torture chamber, and in Dwight’s mind Julian should have taken more time to recover.

  His phone rang and he dived for it, it was Julians ring tone. “Julian?!” Dwight said in a slightly relieved tone. “Hello, this is Maggie. I’m a nurse at west jefferson hospital. Is this Dwight Houston?” She asked in a very calm voice. Dwight’s heart sank in his chest, and he almost dropped the phone. “Hello?” Maggie said getting no response from Dwight. “Yeah... Yeah this is Dwight, wh-what happened?” Dwight was pretty much frozen out of worry.  “Julians here, and he needs a ride home. He said that you would be able to pick him up, or arrange for someone to come get him.” Maggie said avoiding Dwight’s question, because she wasn’t allowed to say what happened.  

  “He’s okay?!” Dwight said breathing a small sigh of relief, silently wishing that Julian would manage to go one month without landing himself in the hospital. “Yes sir, he just needs a ride home.” Maggie replied in her perky calm like tone that started to bug Dwight. “I’ll be there in five minutes.” Dwight said hanging up the phone and grabbing his car keys in a hurry. ___

  Dwight arrived at the hospital and was greeted by none other than Maggie, she lead him to Julians room and parted ways with him.  Dwight walked in and smiled just a bit seeing Julian laying on the bed appearing to be in perfect condition. “What happened?” Dwight asked walking over to Julian. “DWIGHT! Oh hey, beautiful!” Julian said rolling over relieving his fractured arm that was in a sling. “I jumped out of a window!” Julian said with wide eyes that reminded Dwight of the tweedles. “No.” Julian said firmly as he sat up straight on the bed. “I didn’t try to kill myself okay? No.”  Julian hopped off of the bed and his legs almost gave out on him and he fell forward. Dwight acted quickly and caught Julian and set him up straight. He noticed that Julian was only putting weight on one foot and seen that the other was wrapped up. Dwight put his arms around Julians waist both to reassure himself that Julian was fine, and to make sure he didn’t lose balance. 

“I’m fine.” Julian said shrugging just a little. “You’re fine.” Julian said bluntly. “You’re hot, you’re really hot. And you’re hair is messy... but in a hot way. It’s sexy.” Julian smiled and wrapped his good arm around Dwight pulling him a little closer. “You’re just really... hot.” Julian said simply. “Whydidyoujumpoutofawindow?” Dwight asked not even paying attention to what Julian was saying. 

  “Because the director told me too, he also told me that I can’t work until my arm and foot’s better.” Julian said pecking the corner of Dwight’s lips. “It hurt like a mother fucker. Because the glass cut my chest up, and my ribs broke too.” Julian actually looked quite offended as he glanced down at his chest. His shirt hid most of the wounds, but it was cut up from the glass and there was a good bit of blood on it. “OH! And yeah. These people here gave me a shot of something and I don’t feel a thing!” Julian said in amazement, then softly kissing the other corner of Dwight’s lips. “I.. really love you... I whole lot. You put up with my crazy bitchy self! I’m really bitchy.” Julian said laughing as if that was the most hilarious thing he’d ever said in his life. “I don’t even think my arm is hurt. I could take it out of this thing if I could figure out how it works.” Julian said messing with the sling. Dwight sighed and grabbed Julians hand to keep him from undoing the sling. It could have gone much worse than it did. He was thankful beyond words that Julian was alright. “Lets get you back to your room.” 

_____

Once Julian was back in his room the medicine had started to wear off and Julian was no longer in a high and flirty state. “Fuck, it hurts.” Julian said taking short breaths, because it hurt to breathe. Logan was in the room, watching Dwight fumble with a pill bottle for Julian.  “Calm down, bitch.” Logan said rolling his eyes at the house drama queen. “Don’t call him a bitch.” Dwight mumbled not really wanting to argue with Logan, especially while Julian was suffering. “Four fucking levels Lo. Four. Fucking. OW.” Julian yelped as he tried to sit up to take his medicine. Dwight moved next to him and helped him sit up enough to take the pills.  

  “Yeah whatever. I’ll be back later to make sure you get the pills, and don’t die and fuck like that.” Logan said glancing at Dwight. “Curfews in five minutes Houston.” Logan warned, and left the room. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Dwight whispered while caressing Julian’s cheek. “Yeah... It’s going to take more than faulty equipment to take me out.” Julian reassured Dwight. “I’ll see you tomorrow, when I hop around from class to class.” He joked trying to make Dwight feel better. “Yeah, i’ll text you when I get in.” Dwight said putting Julian’s phone on his night stand and started to walk towards the door. “Do you need anything else?” He asked thinking Julian had basically everything on the night stand that he’d need. There was food, remote, computer, phone that was plugged in charging, water, pills, and a book that Julian had been reading. “Yeah.” Julian said as if it was obvious. “You didn’t give me a kiss goodnight.” Dwight smiled and walked back over to Julian and tenderly kissed him. “I love you.” Dwight whispered. “I love you too, 3 minutes, better run beautiful.” Julian said softly. “Blaine will understand if i’m a minute or two late.” Dwight said walking quickly out of the door. 

  --- HEAD!CANON: Charlie graduated, and Blaine transferred back because he’s really a Warbler at heart, and windsor voted him prefect---

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

A drabble called Halloween.

"We're watching scary movies." Julian said to Dwight who was talking to him on the phone. The tweedles was beside Dwight, supporting him in trying to get Julian over for their halloween movie fest. "We're going to have a Tim Burton marathon." Dwight said glancing over at Ethan [or was it Evan?] who smiled in reassurance. "You're invited you know, if you'd like to come watch it with me." Dwight bit his lip nervously waiting on a reply from Julian. It was a tradition for the houses of Dalton to stay up watching movies on Halloween night.

Each of the houses always did something different. Windsor normally went with Burton classics, and ate more than their share of candy. Their house was decorate to the highest standards thanks to the brightmen twins.  Hanover watched movie adaptions of horror novels, while carving pumpkins. Stuart ran in a ranking of their own. Halloween was time to scare the shit out all the people. Their house was fairly decorated but only for scaretastic reasons. Logan had a fake body hidden in Julians closet that would fly down at him when he opened it. Julian had hired a clown to hide in Logans room. Derek had gone away for the week it was his way of doing something nice for Julian and Dwight.

"Yeah, Logan's said you're welcome to come over here and have a good scare if you want." Julian said and then started attaching vampire fangs to his teeth. He'd already told Dwight that he was doing the vampire deal that way he wouldn't worry about Dwight trying to take off his head. "Jay, I really don't want to be in Stuart with all the lights out..." Dwight said looking over at the other twin. "Can we watch horror movies in your room then?" Julian had really really wanted to get in a good scare on halloween, equally as much as he wanted to spend it with Dwight. "Okay." Dwight smiled a little, the idea of spending Halloween tucked away from the crazy twins, alone in a room with Julian was way too appealing to Dwight. "Cool, be over in a bit." Julian said hanging up his phone. 

__________ Julian  knocked on Dwight's door waiting on him to unlock all 8 of his locks to let him in to escape the wrath of the tweedles hyped up on candy. "Julian.." Dwight whispered quietly while he took in the sight of his boyfriend dressed up as a vampire, "Do I look scary enough?" Julian smiled just to enough to let his fangs show, he then wrapped his arms around Dwight's waist and walked him back into the room and shut the door with his foot. "You have.. fangs." Dwight said noticing the two caps that Julian had on his eye teeth. He was trying to get over how pale his boyfriend looked. The only time he'd seen Julian that pale was when he seen Julian after Adam had attacked him. "They're sharp too, i've bit my lip about 5 times today." Julian said as he leaned in close to Dwight's neck. "You're a terrible vampire if you keep biting yourself." Dwight smiled as he felt Julians warm breath on his neck.

"I can't help it, I don't have a whole lot of experience as a vampire." Julian whispered before biting him a little harder and started sucking at his skin teasingly. Dwight gasped quietly and closed his eyes and melting into Julians arms. "Oh yeah." Julian said while he pulled away causing Dwight to whimper quietly. "Sorry, you know how I like to get into character... and vampires are horny fuckers." Julian smiled and walked over to the tv and stuck in the disk for the first halloween movie. "Yeah I know." Dwight sat down on the couch, shamelessly eyeing Julians ass while he waited on the menu to show up to start the movie. They couldn't use the remote because the batteries had died and neither of the boys had remembered to get replacements. "Alright." Julian said pressing play on the player before he joined Dwight on the couch. "You're a hot vamp." Dwight said as his cheeks turned a faint color of pink as he realized that actually came out of his mouth and didn't just stay in his head. "I'm glad you think so." Julian leaned over and lightly kissed Dwight, he sucked on Dwight's lower lip for less then a second, and brushed his tongue across Dwight's upper lip, politely asking for entrence.  Dwight Immediately parted his lips and slipped his tongue out to meet Julians. They went on for a few more seconds before Julian pulled away and turned his attention to the tv. "Movie remember?" He smiled a little and watched the opening credits play while the creepy music faintly in the background. "You're also a fucking tease." Dwight grabbed Julians silky black shirt and pulled him back to him and started kissing him deeply.

Julian wrapped an arm around Dwight's back and slowly pushed him back down onto the couch. Dwight wrapped his arms around Julians lower back and pressed him closer to him. "I can take out the fangs." Julian whispered. Dwight just shook his head. "No leave them... I kind of like them." Dwight blushed a little harder, not quite believing that maybe he had a small vampire kink.  "Alright." Julian said leaving a trail of kisses down Dwight's jaw line to his neck. He flicked his tongue out at one of Dwight's favorite spots. "Tease." Dwight said quietly. Julian laughed a little and started sucking and biting at his boyfriends neck leaving mark that would probably not fade for a month and a half. Dwight had started to become undone moaning softly, encouraging Julian to keep going.

The movie had come to a fairly intense part, where Michael was about to make his first kill. He sneaked up behind her and slashed her arm, she screamed. Julian and Dwight both glanced over at the tv to see what the fuck was going on, seeing Michael they both sat up straight keeping an arm around the other's waist protectively. Both of the boys had a intense fear of Michael and had forgotten that they were even watching that movie. The two just laughed it off and leaned back into the couch, each not believing that they had just been cock blocked by Michael Myers.

[becausenoothernameisavailable]

"Together"

For the Anon.

"Dwight" Julian whispered as he slowly entered into the Hunter's bedroom as Dwight shot out of the bed clutching his many medallions, while his roommate turned to the other side pulling the comforter higher.

"Julian, what happened" whispered Dwight as he saw his boyfriend cross the salt line and breathed a sigh of relief, even though he had a feeling he would still love him even if he was a restless spirit.

"You promised to take me exorcising" whispered Julian excitedly as Dwight looked on slightly amused taking in his tight jeans, boots and leather jacket. 

"You really want to go "whispered Dwight as he gets up and gives Julian a gentle kiss on the lips. "Yes I always wanted to know what it is you do and now I get to see." replied Julian as Dwight removed his bows and arrows and checked his rock salt and holy water.

"You're certainly dressed for it." said Dwight as he takes hold of Julian's hands locking fingers. "Well you told me dress to dress in rough clothes and so I did" replied Julian smiling. "So we can leave now" Julian said taking taking the holy water sprayer from Dwight as Dwight glanced at their joined hands, "We can go now" confirmed Dwight "Together."

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

~Broken~

Julian laid in the hospital bed waiting on the doctor to finish his stitches. The cuts on his arms, and neck were done, but the one on his stomach was taking a bit of time. He watched the IV drip waiting on the doctor to be done with him, and to let him go home.

  The doctors refused to let Dwight back to see Julian, and Karen wasn't able to get them to let up on that either. So they just waited. Dwight sat nervously shaking a chair, while Karen paced nervously. They received the call that Julian was found almost an hour ago, and had been waiting anxiously ever since.

  It had been two months since Adam kidnaped him, two months of torture, rape, death threats, and forced kisses. Julian remembered praying for death to find him, begging for death to find him. He wasn't scared of the pain it would bring, because he knew it would be nothing compared to what Adam was doing to him.  

  Thoughts of Dwight only kept him strong for the first week, then he forced himself to  settled on the fact that he would never get to see him again. From that point on the thought's of Dwight only tortured him, making his heart break more, making him crave death more.

  The two months had been hard for Karen and Dwight as well, maybe not as rough as it was for Julian. But still it was pretty bad. The first week went by slowly, Karen couldn't work out of fear and worry both emotions she hid to keep Dwight going. She promised him he'd be found, but it was a promise she knew he lost more and more faith in as time passed. 

  The first week for Dwight was emotionally the hardest. He tried to force himself to get used to the idea that Julian might never return to him, but it failed. The cops kept him in the house that he and Julian shared for his own safety, and refused to allow him to leave to help search for him.  As time passed his emotions shut down on him and he became numb, the only thing that kept him going was a thought he had that acted like a life line for him. 

  He remembered  Julian always being there for him though everything that Derek put him through, and he remembered how impossible it would have been without him there by his side. Dwight knew Julian would need him, and he had to stay strong for him. 

___________________________________________

  Julian was able to walk out to the waiting room. Dwight was fighting back tears when he hugged Julian burring his face into the curve of Julian's neck. Julian flinched away from the contact at first, he put an arm lightly on Dwight's back as he looked around the room cautiously. Karen smiled at him, and nodded towards Dwight letting him know it was okay. Her emotions were all surfacing and she fought harder than ever to keep them held back.

  Julian looked down at the body that was attached to him realizing it was his boyfriend. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around Dwight. "Julian.. I love you." Dwight said holding him tightly, not in a 'don't leave me ever again.' way, but in a 'I'm literally holding on for my life' way.  

  Out of luck none of Julian's bones were broken, with the exception of the cuts, and  bruising from Adam being too rough with him, there was not many injuries on his physical body at all. Unfortunately most of his injuries we're mental wounds, that wouldn't heal with something as simple as medicine and a cast.

  "Dwight..." Julian whispered quietly, he held on to Dwight for several more minutes, before letting go. He walked over to Karen who shook her head saying 'no' to a hug but he pulled her into one anyway.  She broke down.  Karen couldn't hold back her tears as Julian held her.  Dwight had his hand placed on the small of Julians back fearing that if he lost physical contact with him he'd lose him again.

  Karen didn't cry loudly, or hysterically.  If the floor hadn't been closed off, and if there were strangers passing they wouldn't know she was crying. Only Julian and Dwight were close enough to hear her sobs and whispers. "I love you" She whispered finally after a few moments. "I thought i'd never see you again." Karen said trying to regroup. Dwight leaned his head on Julian's back, his heart breaking for Karen. He hadn't realized how much she was keeping in, he thought she'd never break. He felt foolish for forgetting she was just a dumb human too.  

  Other than one word, "Foxy.", Julian didn't say anything to her.  Once she had calmed down she let go of Julian and let the Doctors give her instructions on how to care for him.  Julian, Dwight and Karen were all escorted to a black SUV, with black tinted windows by ten cops that were assigned to keep Julian safe, two rode with Julian while the others split into two cars that drove along side the car that carried Julian.

  It pained Dwight to be so close to Julian, but to have to hold back from touching him too much. He knew he'd be jumpy, but he needed to hold his hand. For both of their sakes. Julian's attention was turned to the window, watching as the world passed them by. "Jaybird" Dwight said, choosing to use a name that Adam would have never used on him. Julian glanced over at Dwight who nodded down towards his hand, almost asking permission to touch his boyfriend.

  Julian stared into Dwight's worried face knowing that Dwight wanted to hold him, and comfort him, only meaning good. He nodded and turned his hand over watching Dwight's hand intertwine with his own for the first time in forever. His attention turned quickly to the window again wanting to feel alone.

________________________________________________

The SUV arrived at their house where ten more cops were waited. Adam hadn't been caught yet, when the cops arrived he sprinted somehow losing the l.a.p.d.. Julian took a deep breath looking at his home. Dwight squeezed his hand as a cop came around to help Julian out of the vehicle. He stepped out of the vehicle gasping and flinching in fear as the cop tried to help him. "I'm with the LA police department. I'm not going to hurt you." The man said locking eyes with Julian, Julian didn't say a word he just shook his head slightly.

  Dwight placed his arm around Julians waist, "I've got him." Dwight said firmly to the cop. He knew the cop was only there to help but Dwight didn't want strangers touching his boyfriend, not when he was scared half out of his mind.  Julian walked inside and the cops cleared the room giving him his space. He looked around for a moment seeing everything was as he left it. 

__________________________

  When he finally turned to face Dwight and Karen he didn't feel anything. "I want time. I'm going to go to my room. Leave me. Please." He said turning and walking quickly up the steps. Julian walked into his room, and shut the door behind him. He leaned on it closing his eyes, wanting to cry. Wanting to get it out of his system so he could get over it. 

  The image of Adam on top of him, bruising his forearms while he pinned him to the bed. Julian forced himself to keep his eyes closed knowing if he didn't face it, the images would only haunt him. He moved hims arms, letting his hands feel the door to remind himself that he wasn't there. 

  He his eyes flung open before Adam could force himself inside of him. He looked around his room seeing all his possessions. Dwight hadn't moved a thing of his. The room was as if he never left, it was without a doubt his bedroom. He still couldn't take it. He knew Adam was going to come out of hiding and force him onto the bed and take him all over again. 

  He left his room, and went into the game hall. Nothing in that room resembled anything of his time with Adam. He felt safe. Finally. He felt around the pool table before picking up a cue stick and shooting a game of pool. Forcing himself to not go for the liquor on the wall.

_______________________

  Dwight turned to Karen after Julian left his sight on the stair case. "Karen." He said biting his lip. "Give him a few moments." Karen said confidently. Though she knew what Dwight was afraid of. Neither of them knew what Julian had gone though at all, but they had an idea. It was the idea that he would crash and take his life that scared them. But they both knew that wasn't like their Julian to do something so horrible.

  Karen looked at Dwight and caressed the side of his face. "We'll get him back." She softly kissed Dwight's forehead, and gave him a small smile. "I promise. Julian always comes back in the end." She said walking into the kitchen.

  Dwight nodded and followed her. "What if Adam comes back?" Dwight asked as Karen fixed a glass of ice water. "He won't." She said handing him the glass. "Now go bring him back to us. He needs water, make sure he drinks it." She said softly. 

Dwight took the glass, and turned on his heel to go up to Julians room. His heart stopped when he opened the door and didn't find him in the room. How he managed to hold a grip on the glass was nothing more but a miracle. "JULIAN?" Dwight shouted as a cop came running. "What happened?" The officer asked looking in the room. "He's not here." Dwight said breathing roughly. "He hasn't left the house, we're sure he's here." The man assured Dwight.  

  "Where else would I be?" Julian asked the cop, he had left the game room hearing Dwight’s yell. "You scared me." Dwight said handing Julian the glass. "Sorry. The room made me think abou- I was in the game room." Julian said walking back to the room. Mentally he was trying to push Dwight away, and shut him out. He was falling to pieces, and he knew it would hurt him to watch it happen. But Dwight wasn't having any of that. He followed beside him giving him a little space.  "Jay, you know I'm here for you, right?" Dwight said following him into the game room.  Julian quickly drank the water and handed the glass back to him. "I'll uh remember that if I need anyone." He turned his back and picked up the cue stick and shot another ball into a pocket. 

Dwight opened his mouth to say more but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say, so he just watched Julian for a moment. "My names not Jay or jaybird by the way." Julian said looking up at Dwight seeing a look of pain on his face. He tossed the pool stick on the table and walked to the other side of the room picking up a few darts.

“Julian , talk to me?” Dwight asked following Julian at a distance. “I am. See? Talking.” Julian said throwing a dart at the board, mentally his mind was blank, he had fallen numb. Which in his mind was better than having feeling from it all. He didn’t feel like his life would ever return to normal. If he went on with acting, he knew at almost every interview they would ask him something about the kidnapping. He didn’t want to face it. He didn’t feel like he would ever be ready to.

  The entire house fell quiet for a moment, the only noise was the sound of darts hitting the board. Down stairs Karen sat at a table staring down at her hands with worry, she knew that Julian was the type to allow something to eat at him and never say a word about it. Down the hall from Julian a gun shot broke the silence.

  Dwight’s attention went to the door way, watching as cops ran down the hall. Julian’s heart felt as if it could have stopped beating, he knew it was Adam. Adam had found his way onto his property. Julian grabbed Dwight’s arm and pulled him back behind him.  

  Karen ran outside following the cops at a great distance to see what was going on. Three had guns aimed at a figure on the grass. One man kneeled down beside him, he placed two fingers on the neck of the boy and shook his head.  The three pocketed the guns, and boss cop ran back into the house passing Karen.

  Julian stood frozen looking at the doorway. Waiting. He still had his hand gripped tightly on Dwight’s arm making sure he’d stay back when Adam would walk in to take him back. He flinched back when the cop walked in, but seeing he had no resemblance to Adam Julian relaxed slightly. “We believe we have him. We need someone to ID him, but we are pretty sure it’s him.” The cop said taking a breath. “We’ll leave half the crew here to make sure you’re safe until we can get a positive id on him, and once we know it’s him. We’ll leave.”  The cop said walking back out of the room. “I can ID him.” Julian said to the cop who gave him a warning look. “I can ID him. If anyone knows what he looks like, it’s me.”  Julian said daring the cop to say no to him. He was dying for that closure to know it was really him that the cops had. 

  “No Julian. Are you sure?” Dwight said feeling like it was a bad idea. His hand reached out and grabbed Julian’s hand holding it tightly with both of his own hands. “Yes. I am.” Julian said firmly. “Where is he?” Julian asked looking back at the cop. “I’m coming with you.” Dwight said quietly. “Whatever Dwight. Where is he?” He asked again wanting to get it over.

  “Outside. Follow me.” The cop walked down the hall leading the boys outside. Dwight’s hands were still holding Julian’s tightly refusing to let him do this alone. “There.” The cop said pointing to the figure in the grass. “He’s dead?” Julian asked walking a little quicker.  “Yes, one shot to the head.  He was armed, I told my boys to shoot to kill if he appeared with weapons.” The cop stopped by the boys corpse, watching Julian.  It was against most things he’d learned in training to let the victim identify the corpse of the attacker but Julian seemed determined. 

  At first Julian just stared Down at the body, saying nothing. He kneeled down by the body and stared into the eyes of the boy for a moment before his eyes looked at the knives that was laid out beside him. There was a total of four, three of which Julian knew right away. They had been used on him before. “It’s Adam.” He said getting up and turning away to go back inside. Dwight wrapped am arm protectively around Julian’s waist. “Then our job is done here. We’ll clear out.” He said motioning for other’s to bring the body bag.

  He walked inside and sat on the fourth step, waiting for the cops to leave. Karen sat beside him and looked at him with a small smile. “It’s over.” She whispered. “You should get back to the office. Let everyone know it’s over, tell them i’m safe. And if anyone bothers me, i’ll sue the fuck out of them for trespassing.” Julian said in a demanding tone. She needed to be pushed away too.

  “Okay.” She said willing to give Julian his space. “Dwight help me gather my things.” He said raising an eyebrow to him, letting him know she had something to say.  They walked into the kitchen where Karen had set up her base camp. “He’s pushing us away.  Don’t let him push you. He’s got a wall up separating him, from this mess. The wall is there to keep himself safe, but you have to break it to get him back.” Karen said tucking her laptop away into her bag along with piles of paper work. 

  “What do I need to do?” Dwight asked in a tone that was almost pleading with her. There wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do to help Julian, she just had to name it. “Don’t back down, fight for him.” Karen said putting the bag on her shoulder. She gently kissing him on his forehead and patted his arm. “Fight.” She said before she walked out of the back door. 

  Dwight grabbed another glass and filled it with water before going back to the steps and sitting down beside Julian. “Here.” Dwight said handing the glass to Julian who quickly drank it in two gulps. “The doctors said it would be better to sip it.” Dwight said rubbing Julians back with one hand.  Julian didn’t respond, he just stared down at the floor. Waiting. 

  The cops finished packing up, and one by one they left the house leaving the chief to say a few final words to Julian. He held his hand out to shake Julian’s hand, but Julians hand never reached up to meet his. “Take care of yourself, Larson.” The cop said turning to Dwight. “You too, Houston.” He said leaving the house.  Julian quickly got up to lock the door behind him.

  He turned around and looked at Dwight on the steps. “Leave me alone.” He said running up the steps going back to the game room. “I can’t.” Dwight said following him. “I can’t let you be alone, not after all this.” Dwight matched Julians speed and walked beside him.  “You have to.” Julian said stopping by the door to the room.  “Julian, i’m not leaving you.”  Dwight said in a promising voice.  “You. Have. To.” Julian said putting his hands on Dwight’s shoulders. 

  A piece of him wanted to pull Dwight into his arms and just break down. But he couldn't. He was torn between the two options, pull him close, or push him away. “Just go.” Julian said forcefully shoving Dwight back, he quickly slipped into the room and put a chair up by the door knob keeping Dwight out.

  Dwight regained balance and tried to push the door open. “Julian!” Dwight said leaning his head on the door. He needed to be with Julian, as much as Julian needed to be with him. Julian didn’t respond knowing that would only encourage Dwight. He laid down on the couch in the room closing his eyes. Trying to relive it again. He didn’t want it to haunt him, he feared that more than anything. He needed to be able to have control over the images.

  Dwight sat down beside the door decided he’d stay there all night if he had to for Julian’s sake. “I’ll just be here when you need me.” He said not sure if Julian could hear him or not. He leaned his head back on the wall hoping to hear signs of life every now and then. 

_____________________________

  Julian visualized a day in his third week of being with Adam. The entire day Adam and him stayed in their room watching movies. Julian agreed to watch them willingly with him if they could watch anything but his previous movies.  Adam protested for a moment before agreeing.  He downloaded a romantic comedy and pressed play snuggling into Julian as it started. 

  Through the first half of the movie Adam’s hands ran lightly around his body.  Adam had ruined the clothes he was kidnapped in but he provided him with different clothes which was all to Adam’s liking. That day Adam had Julian in white pants, with a white shirt. He mumbled things about how the color made him ‘glow’. 

  When the movie reached the second half Adam’s lips had found their way to Julians neck, kissing him tenderly while his hands explored Julians chest. It was the first time Adam could have come across as almost ‘loving.’ Which creeped Julian out even more.

  The scary part came when he started feeling aroused by Adam’s soft caresses, and gentle pecks at him. He fought with himself to keep from touching Adam back, it wasn’t right. He was still with Dwight, the boy he loved he couldn’t betray him more than he felt he already was by having his body helplessly react to Adam’s touches. 

  Julian protested when Adam pushed him down onto the couch and laid on top of him. By then he was already hard, and his body was fighting his mind to satisfy it’s craving. He couldn’t keep the moans from escaping his mouth when Adam started to rub him through his pants.

  Before he knew it he was kissing Adam whispering ‘no’ into the kiss. Pleading for Adam to stop, while his hips bucked into Adams. Before long he was on top of Adam, his hands pulling at the boys blond hair trying to hurt him, trying to get Adam to stop, while the two moaned deeply into a heated kiss grinding into the other. 

  First Julian lost his clothes, than Adam lost his. Moments later Julian screamed out of physical pain, emotional pain, and lust as he came while Adam thrusted violently inside him. 

  ___________________________________

  Back in the game room Julians eyes opened. He was balled up on the couch, his breathing was hard, but he was still unable to cry.  He straightened out and rolled onto his back staring at the window that had a view of his backyard.  

  He watched the reflection of the moon, in his pool for hours before he fell into a dreamless sleep. 

  Outside the room Dwight was still there, he was laying on his back his head was by the door. He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. Fear, worry, nerves, and any other emotion you could think of drained his energy. 

_____________________________________

  Julian woke up the next the next evening, he sat up in a panic forgetting that he was home.  He got up and took the chair away from the door, and peaked outside.  Julian shook his head seeing Dwight laid there by the door. He walked to his room and grabbed a pillow and a blanket, and returned to Dwight. Being careful not to wake him he placed the pillow under Dwight’s head, and covered him up with the blanket. “You have to not do this.” Julian told him hoping it would sink into Dwight’s mind if he told him while he was asleep.

  Julian walked down into the kitchen and grabbed an apple. He walked outside into his back yard letting it sink in that he was home, and that Adam was dead.

  He rolled his pants up and sat on the side of the pool letting his legs enjoy the cool water. He finished the apple and tossed it into the trash can, then he laid back on the ground enjoying the feeling of sunlight on his skin.  

  He thought about what he was going to do from this point. Dwight, Karen, and his career, all needed to be dealt with.  Karen if she didn’t back away, he could always fire her. It would hurt because of all that she’d done for him if the past, but he didn’t want her in his life anymore. Not after everything Adam did to him and made him do.

  He could quit working. He had made his money, he could live the rest of his days happily without ever working another day. The press would die down, his fans would forget him.

  Dwight was the hard one to deal with. His heart broke at the though of ending his relationship with him, but he knew he had to. He needed to be alone, it was what he felt that he deserved.  After coming for another man even though he didn’t want to, he still felt ashamed, and hurt and he felt like he betrayed the sleeping boy upstairs. Still he knew he didn’t need someone around the house that would follow him around trying to make things better.  Dwight had to go.

  __________________________ 

  Dwight woke up cuddled with the blanket and pillow. He smiled to himself knowing that Julian gave him the pillow and blanket, Dwight seen it as a gesture saying that he still cared. He laid there for another moment before he got up and looked in the room trying to find Julian. He walked over to the window and seen Julian by the pool.  It comforted Dwight to see him look so peaceful.

  He hurried down to the pool to meet up with Julian.  “Hey.” He said sitting next to him. “Did you eat breakfast yet? I can go fix you some pancakes, or something if you’d like.” Dwight offered, still wanting to take care of him.

  “Yeah, I ate.” Julian said opening his eyes he looked over at Dwight, the feeling of regret only grew with Dwight sitting by him. He got up and walked over to where they kept the towels and dried off his legs, then rolled down his pant legs. “We should talk.” Julian said to Dwight while he walked inside.

  Dwight looked at Julian thinking that Julian wanted to open up about what Adam did to him. He nodded and followed behind Julian until he stopped in the living room. “Julian?” Dwight said looking up at his boyfriend. “You have to leave.” Julian said with a firm tone, and a blank face.

  “What do you mean?” Dwight asked not believing Julian was actually telling him to leave the house. Especially not when he needed him to be there so badly. Leaving Julian alone wasn’t an option for Dwight. 

  “We’re done. I can’t love you. I don’t love you. And you have to go.” Julian said as if that was all there was to it. His heart broke as he watched Dwight’s face turn to shock, but he had to. He couldn’t deal with Dwight anymore. Alone was better.

  “No. I’m not leaving.” Dwight said firmly. He was going to fight this with everything he had. He dreamed of saving people from monsters, and this was his chance to save the person that he loved from one. Though Adam was hardly a demon, or anything supernatural. He was worse than everything supernatural combined. “I can’t leave you, I can’t let you go out of my life again. Not when I just got you back. Not ever.” Dwight said his voice had more authority to it than he ever thought it would. 

  “I will call the cops back to take you out of my house if I need to.” Julian said knowing Dwight was going to put up a fight but he was prepared for it. “I hate you.” He said grabbing Dwight’s forearms and pushing him back into a corner. “I hate everything about you. I hate that you won’t leave me alone, I hate that you follow me around like a puppy. I hate you, Dwight.” Julian said his face was inches away from Dwight’s. “Don’t you dare argue with me. You said at the hospital that you love me. If you do, than make me happy. GO!” He said backing away. “I’ll let Karen come by and get your things, but you have to go, now. I can’t look at you anymore.” Julian let go of his boyfriends arm’s giving him a little shove back. 

  “No.” Dwight said feeling his heart break into a thousand pieces even thought he knew that it wasn’t really his Julian saying those words. He reached up and caressed the side of Julian’s face softly. “I do love you, and that’s why I can’t leave you.” Dwight whispered. 

  “You have to stop saying that.” Julian said pushing Dwight’s hands away. “You can’t love me anymore. You can’t. Stop it.” Julian was shaking, just wanting Dwight gone. “Please.” He said as if that would make him go. “I need you to leave me.” Julian said stepping away from Dwight.

  Dwight refused to give up. He grabbed Julian’s hand and held it tightly. “I can’t.” He said simply. Julian snatched his hand back and grabbed Dwight’s shoulders, faced with the same choices he was last night. Pull him close, or shove him away.  He knew of he shoved him away, it would have to be bad. He was going to have to physically hurt Dwight. But he also knew pulling him close wouldn’t make him leave. Dwight looked up into Julian’s eyes unable to predict his next move, but he wasn’t scared. Julian wouldn’t hurt him, he knew it.

  Julian felt the sting of tears in his eyes and pulled Dwight into his arms. Where he belonged. Julian fell onto the floor crying into Dwight’s chest. Dwight only ever seen Julian cry once before, it was the time in Windsor after he told Julian that Derek raped him. He wrapped his arms around Julian and whispered “I’m here.” to him.

  Julian didn’t say anything to Dwight he just cried. The images of the past two months flashed quickly in his mind. It took nearly forty minutes for the tears to stop, and another twenty for him to relax enough to back away just a little. “I’m sorry.” Julian whispered feeling more regret for shoving Dwight around trying to get him to leave. “I didn’t mean to. Well I did, but I didn’t want to.” Julian said still shaking slightly.

  “It’s okay, Jaybird.” Dwight said pulling Julian close again letting Julian rest his head on his shoulder.  “You won’t leave will you?” Julian asked knowing he needed Dwight, his better half, to be there for him. “I won’t.” Dwight said running a hand through Julian’s hair trying to comfort him. 

  “Okay.” Julian said looking back up at Dwight. “I’m going to go have a quick shower then.” Julian got up and started to walk to his room, with Dwight by his side. “I want to redecorate.” Julian said pointlessly when he walked into his room. “Yeah, okay.” Dwight said sitting on the couch waiting on Julian to shower.

_________________________________________

  Julian quickly dressed and walked back into his room to meet up with Dwight. “I still am sorry.” He said sitting next to him on the couch.  “You don’t have to say that.” Dwight said smiling at him. “I love you, Dwight.”  Julian said realizing how much he missed cuddling with Dwight. He tilted Dwight’s face up just a little and softly kissed him for a short moment.  He smiled at how right it still felt to kiss his boyfriend even after everything. 

  “I was a bitch to Karen.” Julian said snuggling into Dwight’s side, the closeness didn’t bother him like he thought it would, it was everything about Dwight that comforted him. His sent, his hair, his voice, the way he fit perfectly into his arms... Nothing about him reminded him of Adam. 

  “She’ll understand, don’t worry.” Dwight said laying his head on Julians chest, smiling as he heard his heart beating. “I know she will, but still... I’ll call and order her a fruit basket and have it delivered to her office with a note saying sorry. I should do the same for you.” Julian said holding Dwight tightly.  

  He still was worried that Adam would return even though he seen his body. The fear wouldn’t leave him anytime soon, and he knew the memories would always be there but he’d pull though it.  

  __________________________________________

  4 Hours later.

Karen left her desk to go make a photo copy of a report, when she returned a giant fruit basket was sitting on her desk beside a long box.  She opened the box, inside was 12 long stemmed red roses, with a note that read. “Thank you for taking care of Bunny, and for... everything.”  She smiled and opened the note that was attached to the fruit basket. “Sorry for being a bitch, Foxy.” She pocketed both cards and took the roses to put them in water.

  ___________________________________________

  1 Month Later.

  Julian was preparing to do his first interview since the attack.  Julian requested Ellen DeGeneres to be the interviewer, because he was a bit of a fan of hers and loved the way she made everything so relaxed and simple. She was backstage talking with Dwight and Julian listening to him tell her about certain things that he wanted to go over. When the producer told them it was time.  Dwight kissed Julian softly on his cheek, and let the producer lead him to his seat behind the camera. Another thing Julian requested. He wanted to be able to see Dwight.

  The interview lasted a full two hours. It was detailed, but there were no tears. Ellen and Dwight came close to it twice, but no one cried. Jokes were made every now and again to keep things light, and at the end he announced that he was going to be returning to work and that he was going to start shooting a new movie in just a few weeks.

  When the cameras were off Julian found himself in Dwight’s arms yet again, but only for a moment. It was a professional setting, but Ellen told them to go on and hug it out allowing them a moment.  

  Ellen thanked the boys for showing up, and invited them to a game night at her house with Portia.

  _____________________________________________

  3 months later.

  Julian was on a weeks break from shooting the new movie, he was enjoying an evening at his hotel room with Dwight. The two started out the night attempting to cook homemade pizza, and when the pizza ended up looking like a mutant pizza that got rained on with acid, they decided to have the ice cream in the freezer for dinner. They sat on the floor and played Jenga for a few rounds before Julian got tired of it and just took out a piece from the bottom intentionally making it fall. Dwight laughed at Julians hatred for the game, and was caught off guard by a passionate kiss that turned in to so much more by the end of the night.

  Julian cuddled Dwight in his arms with a smile on his face. Dwight smiled up at Julian and softly kissed him.

    THE. END. 

    or is it?

    Adam could come back as a ghost and bring hell down on everyone....

[theeeejulianlarson-blog-blog]

Fic.

Julian had finished his shower, and gotten dressed to see his boyfriend still asleep in their bed.  He smiled to himself, seeing the beautiful boy laying there, his body was illuminated by only a small desk lamp that Julian turned on to be able to see.

  He finished buttoning his shirt, walked over to Dwight and kissed him lightly on the corner on his lips. Before turning off his own lamp and leaving the room, heading off to work.

  Julian arrived onset at 3:30am, 10 minutes before call time.  He went down to holding and talked with a few of the extras and took photos, with everyone before heading upstairs to get his makeup and to change into his costume.  “Morning, darling.” Karen said greeting him with a little kiss.  “Morning, Karen.” Julian said sitting in his chair as 

  Carlo started to apply make up to make him appear flawless. “How are your nerves holding up?” Karen asked sitting in the chair next to his, smiling.  “Did you come here to poke at my nerves?” Julian said sighing.  “No, i’ve come to talk about your crazy fan, who thinks he’s your spouse.”  Karen said in a serious tone, “I just thought we’d ease into the conversation”  “Oh.” Julian said dully, as he thought about the massive amount of emails, and letters he’d received from someone who goes by the name of ‘Adam Armstrong-Larson’  “My nerves are fine.” Julian mumbled.  

  “Aww My baby’s growing up.” She said tilting her head to the side, “Have you worked out all the details for the big night?” Karen asked beaming with excitement.

  “Almost.” Julian said smiling “I’ve never been so nervous in my life.” He said tilting his head back so Carlo could get his neck. “I still think he secretly hates me.” Julian mumbled.  “Oh stop zhat, he doesn’t hate you. You’ve been togethzer for almost eh 5 years.” Carlo said as he stepped away to grab a different cover up. “And why doez ‘e insist on not letting zis mark on your neck fade? It would make my job much eazier if ‘e just let it fade awayz.” Carlo mumbled as he dabbed a thick cover up-over a dark hickey, on Julians neck, beginning the layering process to cover it.  “We’ll all know for sure, if he hates me or not, in a week wont we?” Julian said sighing. 

  “Relax darling,”  Karen said patting Julians knee, “He’ll say ‘yes’, I know he will... But now we’ve got to get to the serious business” Karen said sighing pulling out a paper from her bag.  “This came for you this morning.” Karen said sighing, holding it out to Julian.  “Read it to me, I don’t want to see it.” Julian said closing his eyes. “We’ll be together soon now, Julian. I’ve worked everything out flawlessly. It’ll be just you and me, we’ll live a new life together in  I love you. -Adam Armstrong-Larson.” Karen put the paper back in her bag, “That’s it. He’s scaring me Julian. So i’ve tightened your security, you go nowhere alone, neither will Bunny. Your house has more guards than the white house, and so does this set.”  

  Julian fluffed his hair, “He wont get to me.” He said trying to comfort Karen.  “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t.” She responded getting up, “Be careful, Julian.”  Karen softly kissed his cheek, winking at Carlo. “I will Karen.” Julian promised, as she left.  “Aww, ewhy does she ‘ave to mess, up zis nice make up? With ‘er  pink lip gloss. You were almost done.” Carlo said dabbing the gloss away.  

Carlo finished touching up his makeup, and Julian changed into his costume, and left the trailer looking around. There was way to many guards around.  “Damn, Karen.” Julian mumbled as he seen countless guys with ear pieces there to keep him alive, most stars only had one guard around on set.  “Oh. My. God.” Carlo said stepping out with Julian, “That one zere, Julian look.” Carlo said tapping him on the shoulder pointing to one to the guards.  “Do you zink he is single?” He asked, straightening out his shirt. “Go get him tiger.” Julian said laughing a little, smacking Carlos butt as he passed him on the stairs heading to the tone body guard across from his trailer. Julian walked over to set with the guards keeping a close eye.  

  The sun had finally set and Cameron called a wrap. The crew and extras cheered as they always did.  After having five guards surround him, as he mingled with the crew for about an hour, Julian returned to his trailer, and called Dwight who answered the phone after one ring, “Jaybird.” Dwight said sighing, “I woke up, and there was people in the house, and I thought they were demons, holy shit Jay, what is going on? Is this about that stalker? Has it gotten worse? Jaybird are you safe?” Julian laughed a little, “I’m fine, Karen is over reacting.”  Julian said sitting on the couch. “I don’t think she could over react when it comes to keeping you alive...” Dwight said trailing off making Julian smile.  “It’s empty threats, don’t worry beautiful.” Julian couldn't stop from smiling as he thought about everything that was going to happen seven days from now, on their five year anniversary.  “Don’t worry.. right.” Dwight rolled his eyes. “I’m going to change out of this costume, and I’ll be home soon.  I love you.”  Julian said softly. “I love you too, jaybird. Be careful.” Dwight said hanging up the phone.  Julian hung up his phone and set it on the table next to him, he stood up feeling a little dizzy.  He walked over to the sink splashing a little cold water on his face, to wake up a little bit, thinking it was probably just him getting a little tired.  Julian took off his shirt and lost his balance falling back on the couch. He looked down at his torso noticing a large black spot that remained him of when they poisoned the vampires on supernatural.  “Poison.” Julian said starting to freak out as he started having trouble breathing, shaking Julian reached for his phone to call someone to help, passing out before he could dial anything. 

  The poison worked through Julians body for 10 minuets before one of his guards walked in to check on him.  He quickly went to Julians body hitting a button on the walkie talky to alert everyone that something was wrong. He felt Julians neck feeling his cold skin, checking for a pulse feeling only a slightly faint one.  Within seconds medical was in there prepping him to be transferred to a hospital. 

julian opened his eyes seeing a bright sky, he looked around realizing he was in his backyard. He smiled as he got up from his short nap in the sun, walking into the house to grab some water to drink. Julian sat down on the counter looking around the room feeling like something wasn’t right... like someone had been in the house while he was out, like someone took something. Julian hopped down from the counter and looked around the house seeing no sign’s of anything, nothing was missing, no one had been there. He was alone, with the exception of his pet bird, Misha.  julian took him out of his cage and let Misha perch on his shoulder as he sat on the couch relaxing. 

  The lab worked to identify the poison used to attack Julian, as the doctors worked to keep him stable, they had revived the young actor twice in the hour.  A nurse was looking through the text on Julians phone, that he had in his hand when he was found,  calling the person he had texted the most.  Karen.  “Julian, my darling. Made it home safe?” She asked nervously.  “Karen, this is Amy. I’m a nurse at the hospital.”  The nurse said urgently.  “Julian.” Karen said jumping up grabbing her purse, running down to her car, “Just tell me he’s alive.” She said her voice breaking.  “For now he is, he was poisoned, and it’s really bad.  We need you to get here.”  “I’m on my way.” She said driving off to Julians house to get Dwight.  

  She parked the car on Julians side walk leaving the engine on, running through the door. “DWIGHT!” Karen yelled, not wanting to go through the house looking for him.  Dwight ran down the stairs looking at her nervously. “Where’s Julian?”  he asked reading the look on her face. “Come on sweetheart, we have to go.” She said pulling him to the car, “I’ll explain on the way.”  She said softening her voice, realizing how panicked she sounded when she seen Dwight’s reaction. 

  “Misha, this house is too quiet.” Julian said petting his African gray parrot. “I don’t like the quiet.” The bird said in response. “I don’t either. lets go turn on some music.” julian got up, and pressed play on his ipod turning it up, as misha started to sing along. “What is with your obsession with Katy Perry?” Julian asked knowing he’d never get a response. He set the bird down and moved into the kitchen cutting up an apple to share with Misha. 

  “Then on set, somehow he was poisoned, and it’s pretty bad... and that’s all I know.” Karen said pulling into the emergency parking at the hospital. The press was already there, someone, probably the attacker, had alerted them. “Stay strong, and leave them be.” She said before they got out, both of them ignoring the shouts from the press wanting them to answer questions. The two ran up to the intensive care, meeting Julians doctor.  “Where is he?” Dwight asked on the verge of tears, not wanting to here that they didn’t make it in time. “He’s in a coma. We did everything we could to fight the poison, but not knowing what it was we couldn’t do much. The chances on him waking up, are slim, and if he does there’s no telling what kind of state his brain will be in.” Karen felt a tear run down her cheek, at the thought of possibly losing Julian. She put a hand on Dwight’s shoulder letting him know he wasn’t alone.  “Where is he?” Dwight whispered, trying to not cry, trying to stay strong.  “We’re not letting anyone in to visit him.  The poison is attacking his body. We don’t know what is going to happen, we don’t want people in the room with him.” Karen looked over at Dwight seeing the hurt expression on his face, as he started to cry. “The fuck you are not letting anyone in the room?” She said growing angry, “Let him in, 15 minutes. Please.” She said staring daggers at the doctor. “Who are you?” He asked, not loving her expression.  “I’m Karen Pond, Julian’s manager. Let Dwight see him, please. 15 minutes, that’s all.” She said refusing to take no for an answer. “5 minutes, and I’m staying in the room with you.” the doctor said pulling Dwight along.  

  Karen pulled out her cell phone calling Julians doctor, and letting him know the situation.   He said he’d be there within 30 minutes, he’d also get in contact with the Lab and take over the case, not trusting hospital doctors. 

  Dwight entered the room, taking in the sight of all the machines that were attached to his boyfriend, who’s color had faded completely from his face, he was paler than Dwight had ever seen him.  “Julian.” Dwight said feeling a little weak, he walked over to his boyfriend wanting to hold his hand, but he couldn’t because of all the things attached to him.  He brushed his hand across Julian cheek, feeling his icy cold skin.  “Jaybird..” He said wanting a response, wanting any response. “I’m here, I can’t stay in here with you for long, but i’ll be outside. and I’m not leaving until you are awake and well to leave with me.” He said waiting for Julian to yell at him, saying that he’d be fine, and that Dwight should leave and go home to get proper rest, but nothing. His boyfriend just laid there unconscious, and too sick looking to pass for being asleep.   “Don’t leave me.” He whispered after being silent for minutes. “We have to go.” The doctor said pulling Dwight away from Julian, walking him back to the waiting room where he balled up on a couch fighting tears.  

  Julian was feeing Misha his apple, as the song changed to c-lo, Julian laughed as the song reminded him of his high school years when he was an aspiring writer, working on getting his first book published. He quickly his ‘next’ on the remote not wanting to relive anymore of his high school memories.

  Karen’s motherly instincts took over and sat behind Dwight pulling him into her arms cradling him, “Dwight, listen to me. He’ll fight this, and he’ll win. I’ve got his doctor on the way, he’s one of the best in the world, and he’s got his lab in contact with a few in europe.  They are going to find out what it was that was put into Julians system, and they’ll cure him.  And Jules will be up in no time, complaining about how this put production off schedule.” Karen said, reminding herself that there was still hope. 

  Dwight didn’t say a word, not believing what she was saying. He thought back on everything, on the years he spent morning Alan, when he first met Julian throwing water on him in his suit, their first kiss when he was slightly drunk, their second kiss in Murdoch’s class room, he remembered how Julian never doubted him when he had told him about his attack, and how he stuck beside him through his panic attacks, and how when rumors started in the press how they always made fun of it and never let it affect them, he thought about how he had taken care of Julian had shut down when his career spiraled down for a short time, he thought about when they moved in together and argued about stupid stuff like about what pet to get - Dwight wanted to get a bird to name Misha, and Julian wanted to get a hedgehog to name Sonic - or when they argued about what food to serve at parties.  He thought about how silly it all was, and how he’d kill to be able to have another stupid little argument with his diva boyfriend. 

  An hour passed and Julians doctor finally showed up, Karen got up from the couch to meet him, “Where the hell have you been?!” She said thankful to see him. “Karen, i am so sorry. Apparently having Julian here has caused quite the stir. I should have taken the helicopter.” He said frantically, “I’m going to go look at him, and check things out, The copter is on his way to take samples of his blood to the labs, we’ve managed to get seven to help us out so far.” He said looking over at Dwight, with apologetic eyes, before running off to go look at Julian. 

    Dr. Cloony looked over his vitals, and changed his medicine to something stronger,  added a few things to protect his organs to keep them from shutting down completely, and yelled at his former doctor for not doing so, after an hour of just watching Julian and the machines for any change, and seeing only minor differences. He returned to Karen and Dwight, and sat on the table across from them. “I’ve got him on some things to keep his body from completely shutting down on him, it’ll only postpone it though. And I’ve called in a few doctors who specialize in this, they’ll be here shortly. At the moment it’s the best I can do, until someone tells me what’s in his system.”  “How bad is it? Don’t like.” Dwight asked wanting to know. “Very bad. Come on, Dwight.” He said putting a hand on Dwight’s shoulder.  Dwight looked up at him gratefully, getting up following the doctor. “I’m going to take him and let him stay with him until I know something, you’re welcome too Karen.” He said walking away with Dwight. Karen shook her head, “He’s in good hands. I’ve got a media circus to clear.” She said getting up, walking to the elevators. 

  Dwight returned to Julians side, taking his hand which was cleared from the wires that it had earlier.  “I’m back Jay.” He said leaning down kissing his forehead. The doctor stood across the room from them, giving them as much privacy as he could keeping an eye on the machines wanting to see some reaction to Dwight’s touch, and Dwight’s voice,  but there was none.  Julian was in trouble.

  “Bath, Jay.” The bird demanded.  “When did you start calling me ‘jay’?” he said curiously. “It’s Julian. Jul-E-in. Not Jay. Never Jay.” He said annoyed, the bird took off flying upstairs landing outside the bathroom door. “Bath!” The bird shouted. Julian ran up the stairs letting the bird in the bathroom, running some water in the sink for the bird, when red lights started flashing, and his house alarm went off. Julian shut the bathroom door, and called 911 thinking that someone had broken in. 

  Worried that Julian would be scared not knowing what was happening, Dwight continuously ran his hand through Julians hair brushing it back, he knew that Julian liked it when he did that.  He always said that it was relaxing, and in Dwight’s mind that was the most he could do for him, keep him calm and relaxed. Machines started beeping loudly, and red lights started flashing, alerting the doctor as he ran to to check them for readings. He watched the doctor, keeping his hand on Julians waiting on the doctor to tell him to move.  Instead he took a syringe and filled it with some pale pink medicine, before shooting it into Julians vain’s, after a moment the machines calmed down. “It’s attacking his heart now.” He said regrettably, “We don’t have much time.” Dwight started to cry, as it really set in that this could be it. “Don’t leave me.” Dwight whispered into Julians ear. 

  The alarms calmed down, and julian hug up the phone.  He sat on the edge of his tub as Misha took a bath, watching to make sure he didn’t drown himself.  Julian closed his eyes hearing a voice in his mind, he couldn’t make out what it said, but a part of him wanted more than anything to hear it again, for some reason he felt comforted my the phantom voice. Julian opened his eyes and shook it all away. “I’m going crazy, Misha.” He said laughing.

  “He’s not dead, we’re not sure what’s wrong. But we have countless doctors, and countless lab workers, staying up all night working on this, along with doctors flying in, who specialize in this field   His parents have been alerted, but they are in Russia and can’t get here at the moment... Dwight is holding up fine, he’s with Julian... No, I will not tell you what room he is in... that’s all I can say.” Karen said looking up as a helicopter flew above them landing on the top of the building, “I have to go.” Karen said  running back inside, letting the staff know they weren’t easing up and that they should get the cops there to hold them all back.  She took the elevator back up to intensive care, and stepped into the room. “The other doctors are here... How are they?” She said whispering to the doctor, “It’s attacking Julians heart, if we don’t find out something soon, we’re going to have to get him out of here...”  The doctor said nodding toward Dwight.  Karen bit her lip to keep from letting out a sob, “How long does Julian have?”  The doctor looked at his watch, “I’d give him to about 5am.” He said, waiting on it to sink in. Karen quickly pulled out her phone and looked at the time. “Thats less than an hour.” She feeling a little faint, “It’ll kill them both...” Karen whispered to the doctor, looking at Dwight as he held Julians hand, steadily running his hand through his hair. They stayed silent watching the pair for minutes, doing nothing, because they had no option.  Julians vitals started going down slowly, Dwight looked up at the doctor his eyes was pleading with him to do anything to save Julian, but he couldn’t do anything but look at him and shake his head and gesture to him to keep his attention on Julian. “I’ll kill whoever did this to them.” Karen said letting a few tears fall as she watched Julian die. 

  Dwight kneeled down next to Julians bed whispering in his ear. “I know it’s not good, but you have to keep fighting, Jaybird, I need you to be here with me. I love you...” Dwight said as tears fell down his face, as he felt Julians skin get colder. “I love you, Julian.” 

  Julian closed his eyes as he heard the voice again, wanting to find it, wanting to get lost in it’s sound, but it seemed even more distant now than it did before. Julian opened his eyes to find himself sitting on a chair, as Misha took a bath in a much smaller sink, as the water poured from a nozzle that wasn’t gold. “Come on baby, lets dry you off.” Julian said wrapping the bird in a towel, cradling him in his arms as he stepped of the bathroom walking to his patio that was screened in for Misha. The chair where he had fallen asleep in was missing, along with the rest of the furniture, and his pool. Trees were fading away into the dark, but Julian didn’t notice.  He just sat on the ground drying off Misha.

  The room was perfectly silent, the only noise was from the machine monitoring Julians heartbeat, when Dr. Cloony’s phone rang, he answered it placing it to his ear running over to Julian listening to the person on the phone. After a moment he quickly hung up the phone, and threw it on the chair, “I need more time.” He said looking up at Dwight, and Karen, shaking his head. “Please, don’t get your hopes up, but i’m going to try and save him.” He said before shouting for the other doctors, and assistants. 

  Karen pulled Dwight away from Julian, and helped him back to the waiting room where he broke down. “He’s going to leave me.” He said gasping for air as his heart broke, “I can’t...” He said, as Karen pulled him into a hug, laying Dwight’s head down on her shoulder.  “I know baby.” she said crying, “I know, it hurts.  But he’s trying, and even if this does not have a happy ending, you have to go on, for him. Julian wouldn’t want you to hurt for too long.” Karen said forcing herself to hold it together.  “No. I can’t. I love.. he can’t... leave me.” He said shaking, still fighting for air. 

  The trees, and most of julians house was gone, faded into the dark. He laid down, and let Misha climb on his chest. “ever feel like there’s just more to life?” He asked Misha looking up at the darkeness, “Somethings just not right. I feel like i forgot to go for a run this morning.” he said softly, “You know, i thought I was going crazy, hearing this voice in my head. But right now, it’s the only thing that makes sense, and it shouldn’t... I can’t even hear what it says. But I miss it.” He said looking down to pet Misha, who was gone. Claimed by the darkenss, everything had faded, but him. Julian looked at his raised hand not knowing what he was going to do, and just rested it behind his head, and closed his eyes. Wanting to hear the voice.

  Dwight had cried as much as he could, when and was laid out on the couch with his head resting on Karen’s lap, staring at the ceiling  waiting on the doctor to tell him it was over, and that he was dead. Karen had her head back, resting it on the back of the couch, with her eyes closed waiting on the news too. She knew he was gone. He said Julian had two hours, it had been four since she’d heard anything. Her baby was gone. “It’s up to Julian now.” The doctor said sitting on the table like he did earlier.  Karen and Dwight both looked at him with wide eyes, “What do you mean?” Dwight asked shaking again just slightly, “We fought it, it was a mixture of chemicals. The specialist, Dr. Noble, and Dr. Skinner had suspected it was a mixture, and was working on something to cancel it out.  Kind of like when the Black Widow and the Brown Recluse mated creating a perfectly harmless spider.  He is still in a coma, but that’s it. There is nothing else we can do. We’ll see what happens, but there still is a chance that he could let go... he isn’t out of the woods yet. We’ll know more by tomorrow... And yes, you can see him.” he said looking at Dwight, “We changed his rooms, it’s more equipped to handle people, there’s a couch, and a chair you two can sleep on.” The doctor led them to his room and Dwight took his place beside Julian sitting in the chair that was beside his bed pulling it a little closer to Julian.  Karen smiled seeing Julian color starting to return to his face, “i’ll let them have some time.” Karen said stepping back out into the hall returning to the waiting room with the Doctor, as they discussed where things could go from here.

  “Jay,” He said, taking Julians hand, smiling at the warmth. “The doctor said it’s up to you, now.” He said, kissing Julians forehead. He curled his legs up in the chair feeling a little cold.  “You’ll come back to me, right?” Dwight whispered closing his eyes, resting his head on the side of the chair waiting for an answer, dozing into a very light sleep.

  Julian smiled as he heard the voice again, he tried to focus on what it was saying only making out a final sentence, “I don’t know who you are, voice... but I think that I love you.” Julian said opening his eyes seeing a little light not far from him.

  Karen and the other doctors were in the waiting room, talking mindlessly about nothing, when her phone range, it was Maurice, the head of Julians security. “A body’s been found, not far from where the set was, there’s a mark on his stomach like Julians...” He said, “I see.” Karen said nodding, “His name is Adam Clavell, he was an extra on set. Apparently when Julian was talking with then he hit him with the drug, and hit himself with it too.” He said unemotionally, “How’s Julian?” He asked, believing him to be dead as well. “Still kicking.” She said proudly, and hung up the phone.   She looked at the doctors and and shook her head, “A person is dead. I shouldn’t feel relieved like this...” She said looking up at the doctors, “Apparently one of Julians fans had planed a murder/suicide to be with him.” She said, leaning her head back on the couch. “Let’s hope his plan fails.” Dr. Skinner said getting up to grab some coffee.

  Julian got up and examined the light.  He stuck his hand in the light smiling at the warmth he felt.  He looked back at the darkness for a moment before turning his attention back to the light, the smile on his face grew as he walked into the light letting the warmth consume him.

  It was 10Pm the next day, Karen was at a nearby park where the media had settled since the police backed them away from the hospital, a few hundred fans had also gathered, she was there updating them, letting them know that he was still alive. Dwight was still next to him holding his hand sipping a coffee that Dr. Cloony had brought him from Starbucks, when Julian squeezed his hand.  “Julian.” He said setting the coffee on the table careful to not let it spill near the medical equipment, his other hand softly  caressed his face. Dwight was barely breathing waiting on something else to happen. 

  Julian raised his other hand to touch Dwight’s hand that was on his face, as he nuzzled the warmth.  Dwight was crying, once again as he felt Julians hand on his.  Julian opened his eyes, shutting the quickly from the light.  He slowly re opened them letting the adjust to the light.  He turned his head to see the boy next to him, Dwight felt a little panicky remembering the doctors talking to him about Julian having memory loss. “Tell me you know me.” He said breathlessly.  “Why are you crying?”  Julian said letting go of the hand that was touching his face to wipe away Dwight’s tears.  Dwight didn’t say anything not sure if Julian’s memory was in tact, he shook head tightening his grip on Julians hand.  “Beautiful, did someone hurt you?” Julian said worried.  Dwight shook head head, smiling a little bit as he heard Julian call him ‘beautiful’ still not fully convinced.  Julian looked around the room seeing the monitors, and everything. Julian held Dwight’s hand a little tighter as he looked around the room, “Dwight...” He said, looking back up at him.  “Why am I in a hospital?”  Dwight smiled, as a few more tears fell from his eyes, “You were poisoned, you almost died.” He whispered.  Julian blinked as it came back to him.  “Oh yeah... poisoned.” He said as he remembered crashing on the couch in his trailer. “Well, it didn’t work. Did they catch him?” He ask worried that he’d attack again. Dwight shook his head, “Your attacker, poisoned himself and died.”  Dwight said, kissing Julians hand trying to comfort him. “Wow.” Julian said letting it sink in that he was out of the danger zone, he turned and looked outside at the moon.   “Oh god this is probably going to put everything behind schedule” He said moaning.  Dwight laughed a little, “I love you.”  Julian smiled, “I love you too, Beautiful.” 

  ________________________

2 months later

.........

  Julian was sitting on the balcony with Dwight, they had just left gotten home wrap party for Julian’s latest movie, Julian and Dwight were sipping sparkling water out of wine glasses.  “I miss wine.” Julian said finishing the water.  “One more week, baby.”  Dwight said smiling, as he leaning on the railing looking out at the stars, listening to the music that Julian had playing. “It’s been two months. My doctor is too cautious.” Julian said stepping behind Dwight, wrapping his arms around him Dwight turned his head to the side, allowing their lips to meet, not breaking the kiss he turned around wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.  Julian pulled back, smiling as he took Dwight’s left hand from around his waist kissing the back of his hand softly, slowly dancing with Dwight to the song playing in the background.  “I love you, Dwight.” Julian whispered, “I love you too.”  “No.” Julian said shaking his head, pulling back from Dwight smiling, “I don’t think you understand, what I mean.” Julian said smiling, at his boyfriend, who looked at him with a curious look on his face. “I love. You.” Julian said grabbing Dwight’s hand, “I love how you keep me safe from demons, and monsters... I love how you’ve always supported me, I love waking up next to you in the mornings. And I love arguing with you about parrots, and hedgehogs.  I love how happy you’ve made me for the past five incredible years.  I can’t begin to imagine what my life would be like without you.” Julian said tilting Dwight’s head up kissing him softly.  Dwight was blushing, not really sure what had caused this random outburst from Julian, “I can’t imagine life without you either.” Dwight said, pulling Julian close kissing him again, a little more passionately. “Beautiful.” Julian said pulling back again. “Yeah?” He asked looking up at Julian still blushing.  “Dwight, will you marry me?” Julian asked feeling more nervous than he ever had in his life. He had planned everything to go so much more romantically than it was, but the moment just felt so right to him.  Dwight blushed more than he ever had before in his life, nodding slightly, “Yes, of corse I will.” He said kissing Julian passionately for few moments before parting.  “You’re my fiancé, now.” Dwight said happily, as he leaned up to reclaim the mark on Julians neck, Julian smiled, and leaned his head over giving Dwight a little more room. “Your movie’s officially wrapped, and it’s almost guaranteed to be a blockbuster hit... and now we’re engaged.” He said nipping at the sensitive skin on his fiance’s neck, “It’s been a good day.” Julian said pulling Dwight closer to him. “I love you, Jaybird.” Dwight said whispered. “I love you too, Beautiful.”