#Jordan Nobbs x reader

[woso-dreamzzz]

Outburst III

Leah Williamson x Jordan Nobbs x Toddler!Reader

Summary: Stranger danger

You are very little when it happens.

Very little.

You've learnt how to walk now, though Mummy calls it a toddle, so you're free to wander around the pitch.

It's after a Chelsea match that it happens.

You are young and small but Leah has already instilled the love of Arsenal into you and a hatred of Chelsea. She tells you that they're not as bad as Spurs but they're very close.

Mum is very smart so you believe her.

She's talking to some of the England girls who play for Chelsea and Jordan is over with the physios getting a bruise checked out.

You are left to toddle.

It's a late match so you're a little tired but only a little. You've not yet been changed into your pjs but you have your blankie and that's enough for you.

The fans are at the barrier and sometimes Leah brings you over to say hello to them but she's busy and you can walk by yourself now.

So, you toddle over.

That's when it happens.

You're not actually sure what happens and why it's bad but Jordan's the first person to see.

She's noticed your absence, turning to check that you've made it to Leah but you're not there. Her head whips around until she sees the fan leaning over the barrier, reaching to lift you up.

The world happens in slow motion then and she pushes the physios away from her, getting to her feet and sprinting over.

She passes Leah, whose eyes track her before settling on where she's heading.

You're in that person's arms now and Leah starts sprinting too.

Jordan gets there first, pulling you out of the arms quickly and turning away with you. Leah comes up on the rear, sliding into Jordan's place and fisting the shirt of the person.

A crowd forms quickly, a mix of the coaching staff, Arsenal players and the Chelsea team. Millie's the one that's trying to pull Leah back, who looks two seconds away from breaking someone's nose.

Jordan bounces you.

You don't understand what's going on and why it's suddenly so loud and you jolt as vicious words fly over your head and echo across the pitch.

"My blankie!" You say, bursting into uncontrollable tired tears as blankie drops to the ground with a little flutter.

"It's okay," Jordan says as she bounces you, pressing your face into the crook of her neck," It's okay, bug. Mummy's here. Mummy's here. You're safe. It's okay."

"M-My blankie!" You sob, reaching out to where blankie is growing saturated with mud and muck. "Blankie, no!"

"You piece of shit!" Jordan can hear Leah yell," You don't pick up someone's fucking kid! You don't touch fucking touch her!"

"Leah." That's Millie now. "Come on. Let go. The FA will give you a ban."

Leah's still yelling and Jordan knows that one look at you will have her coming straight over. Yet some horrible part of her wants Leah to continue to put the fear of god into the person that tried to take you.

But you're sobbing and whining and your blankie is getting dirty.

You need both your mums.

"Leah!" She calls and Leah falls silent," Bug needs us."

It's all it takes for Leah to join her, weaving through the assembled crowd to pull Jordan and you closer to her.

"Is she okay?" Leah asks, voice trembling.

"Her blanket," Jordan says plainly and Leah ducks down to grab it," She's tired. I don't think she understands what happened."

You reach out for your blankie but it's dirty so Leah doesn't let you take it.

"Let's get her inside. It's nearly bedtime."

The locker room is silent with everyone else still out on the field and it's with great efficiency that Jordan changes you out of your kit into your pjs and Leah gets the worst of the muck off your blanket.

"Hey," One of the female physios pops her head through the door," Do you want me to check her out?"

Worry courses through Leah as she nods. Images of bruises and cuts flash in her mind even though you have none. It would have been easy, she thinks, for that person to have just kidnapped you like that. It would have been so simple and so easy.

You're still little and you're almost too sociable. You think everyone is a friend, no matter what.

You're no idea what could have happened and that terrifies Leah.

"You look good, bug," The physio says to you and it's like a weight has been lifted off both Leah and Jordan's chests," She's fine. Nothing wrong."

You yawn, the excitement of the day finally catching up to you.

You fall asleep curled up in Jordan's arms and both of your mothers just sit there staring at you.

"That person's been banned," Katie says in greeting as she comes in," And I think they're mentally scarred."

"Good," Leah mutters.

"How's Bug?" Kim asks.

"Sleeping," Jordan answers," She's fine. Good. No bruises. No cuts. No broken bones."

"And you both?"

Neither of them answer and that's answer enough.

"It'll be okay. Go home," Kim says," Buy something greasy tonight. Put your feet up. Go and sleep with your kid."

Leah gives Kim a watery smile. "We will."

[samkerrworshipper]

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl

leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader (wobbs as coparents)

reconciliation … the final part in this series x

2 months later:

“My name is y/n Williamson-Nobbs, and I am an addict.”

There are things you appreciate nowadays, more then you did before. Fresh air, the flowers blooming in spring, a strong coffee, smiles from strangers, a warm bed, hugs, being told you are enough, a classic movie, the sun, fruit, water, being clean.

“I didn’t ever take drugs to hurt anybody, or hurt anybody knowingly. I didn’t take drugs to have fun, or party, I didn’t get addicted because I liked it.”

You like taking your dog on walks, going and getting your hair done, floating in the ocean, lying in grass, being sober.

“I took drugs because it made me feel whole. I’ve never felt whole in my entire life, everyday in my life I’ve used something to patch that hole up, during my childhood I tried to fix every single problem, I fixed myself by fixing everybody else in my life, my mom, my non existent dad. As I got older it changed, I seeked validation to patch the hole, it was healthy, but I think I’ve always been an addict and I always will be. I’ve been addicted to filling that hole, it was disguised as being healthy for most of my life until I switched the validation for drugs.”

You don’t avoid peoples eye contact as you walk along the street anymore, you don’t avoid your moms, you don’t lie to people anymore, you don’t put yourself in danger.

“It started with nicotine, because my mom enabled it. I think she was more scared for me then anything. I was spiralling, who wouldn’t be in this day and age? I mean any parent of a teen must be terrified in this day and age, I know I would be. The nicotine was good, but then I got introduced to weed, and it felt like every problem I’ve ever had was fixed.”

You talk about your feelings now, you identify every single thing that you feel and you talk about it with as much detail as your moms and therapist want to hear. You don’t study the different chemicals entering your body every time you shoot up anymore, you study the intricacy and meaning of what you are going through. You take medicine for your depression and anxiety, not drugs for your hopelessness.

“They say weed is the pipeline drug, it’s true. After weed, I felt on top of the world and there was no stopping me. Molly, LSD, coke, heroin, benzos, fentanyl, ketamine, oxy, speed, and eventually meth, which I now know to be the worst of all of them. I didn’t know it at the time, there wasn’t anybody in my life, or in the life I’d created forn myself that was willing to tell me how dangerous what I was doing was.”

Jordan moved back in, whilst you were in rehab. It had been two weeks, that’s what you agreed to. It was the worst two weeks of your life without any doubt. But when you were picked up, both your moms were there, both of them were there for you. They both took time off, time off to take you away, across to France for a week.

“Meth will always be the thing that destroyed my life. My parents don’t trust me anymore, I get why. I lashed out, I became devoid of everything, I was convinced that everybody hated me, and that I was the cause of everybody’s pain, including my own. I convinced myself that the people who loved me the very most didn’t, and that I was the bomb that had torn all of my relationships in my life apart. I was a kid though, I still am, and I’m trying to be better.”

The trust was a hard thing. Your therapist saw Leah and Jordan twice a week, and that was when they would discuss the things that they could start reintroducing you to. School was a no, for now. You were yet to be permitted to stay at the house, alone, for longer then an hour, so every training session, gym session, appointment, media duty, catch up with friends, you were dragged to. It had been tough in the beginning, but you understood, trust had to be earnt. Every week there was something to look forward to, Jordan had been teaching you to drive after you’d gotten out of rehab, and as of a week ago you were permitted to drive yourself to and from your NA meetings.

“Meth made me feel like I was on top of the world, even though i was at my rock bottom. I had bad friends, I fell into a bad group of people, people who took advantage of the fact that I was so vulnerable and hurt. I’ll never forgive them for that, I’ll never be able to forgive them for taking advantage of a girl nearly ten years younger then them. They were hurting too, but that doesn’t excuse manipulating another person. They hurt me, they enabled me, they assaulted me, they took things from me that I’ll never get back.”

The first thing your mothers had wanted when after you’d come clean to them about everything was for you to get a rape kit. You’d outright refused, you were protecting the people, you didn’t want to relive what had happened to you but also a part of you didn’t want Matt and Maya to go down, even if you could now recognise that they’d done unforgivable things to you. Eventually, you agreed to it. You were glad you did, Matt had passed on chlamydia to you, which you thought was some kind of sick joke, that even after he’d deserted you there was still parts of him that were hurting you from the insides. Karma came in the form of a sexual assault report, one which had the policemen heading to his home to arresst him, only to finds thousands of dollars worth of illicit substances.

“I’m not proud of what I did to get a fix, I don’t think any recovering addict is. A couple of months ago I would have ruined every single relationship I had with all of the people I loved just to get a hit of what I was craving, and nowadays I would probably do the same, but I don’t need to. Meth was the love of my life, I think it always will be, or maybe the craving for something to fill me up is what I crave, I don’t really know, I’m still working everyday to try and figure that out.”

Sometimes, as you drove home at night, around every corner towards the house, you considered taking a stop at a side street, one that you knew a dealer would be sitting on. Somedays, you considered driving the car off of the highway and into a tree. Somedays, you considered taking a blade to your throat so you didn’t have to do rehab. Somedays though, you felt so incredibly blessed to be alive. Sometimes, you would sit outside, in the sun and just feel, allow yourself to feel everything that you’d always pushed down out of fear that you’d be deserted if you let any true emotion show.

“We’re all human, we all have the same dignity, no matter who we are. I made some stupid choices, choices that I won’t ever be able to reckon with, choices that for the rest of my life will haunt me. Don’t we all though? Don’t we all lie awake at night worrying about the things that we’ve done, that are out of our control now?”

You’d come to not fear desertion, the people who you’d hated most in the world but also loved most in the world had deserted you. Your parents had deserted you, you closest friends, people you would have considered your found family, deserted you. It was something you had no control over, something that you would never have control over and focusing all of your energy on trying to fix that had become something that you’d give up on.

“I’m not perfect, I never have been, I never will be. I can guarantee though that nobody in this room feels like they are perfect. We’re all hurt people, everybody has something that they keep hidden from people because they are scared that somehow it is going to make people see them differently. I’m guilty of it, my whole life i’ve been hiding, I still am. I’m not ashamed to admit that coming here every night terrifies me, that somebody I’ve known at some stage of my life will walk through the same doors I do and I’ll be put face to face with that, but it’s life. We all make our own mistakes, we all pave our own ways.”

Leah and Jordan still fought, you were secretly glad. It was clear that everything between them was done, which you hated to be happy about, You weren’t ready for that to be back to normal, you weren’t ready to feel like you were able to go back to the way life was when they were together. Lia mediated them, she balanced everything out and the two of you had managed to build a relationship. She was like the older sister you’d never had and you were happier to have her around knowing that she was happy to support you in the same way your moms would, even if she wasn’t living in the same house as you all anymore.

“I will never be able to properly apologise for how I acted, I’ll never be able to repay the people that found me at my lowest and still showed uo for me. I owe my life to those people, and I will spend every single day of my life being so thankful for the opportunity they have given me to have a second chance.”

Life was better, everything was better, you were recovering, you were learning. You felt more connected and loved by the people around you in your whole life. You didn’t feel like you had to seek out love anymore, you didn’t feel like you had to do something to earn it. Leah spent every minute of everyday doing small things to make you feel loved, dragging you out of the house to get coffee with her, reading with you every night before bed, sitting through you when the cravings were making your day harder, driving you to the beach when you felt like you needed fresh air, dragging you to physio appointments so you could hang out with your aunties, buying you fresh flowers to put in your room to make the dark memories of it a little bit nicer, helping you redecorate the space, letting you sleep in her bed when the tendencies started to burn all over your skin.

“I have a disease, I have a terminal illness that will forever impair my ability to live life normally. I will forever be attached to my past, and that’s really tough, I won’t ever be cured of my past, I won’t ever be able to say that I am free of my addiction, I will forever be tied to my decisions.”

Your therapist was helping you weed out all the bad, helping you to identify the different patterns of self destructive behaviour that you chose, helping you to make better decisions for yourself, decisions that didn’t end in you destroying everything you’d worked for.

“I’m an addict, we all are, we all know what it feels like to be plagued with our past. We all get up here every week and speak about our demons, because we all get it. We get what it feels like to lose everything, we all understand the terror that crosses over a persons face when you overdose, or tell them that you’re using, or when they wake up across from your hospital bed. We’re all going through our own shit, we’re all struggling everyday. I struggle everyday, because I’m an addict, for the rest of my life I will struggle because I’m an addict, but there isn’t anybody who understands me better than all of you. I’ve been sober for two months, there have been relapses, there have been struggles, there has been pain and so much for me to be ashamed of. There has been so many positives though, there has been so much good, so much happiness, so many good moments. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, there is too much bad in this world for me to believe in that, but I do believe that this experience has made me a better person, it’s made me stronger, its made me more resilient. The past two months have been some of the best parts of my life, and i intend for the rest of my life to be the same. This chip means a lot to me, but it’s the progress that makes all of this better, knowing that I’ve left parts of me behind that will now stay behind me forever.”

You looked down at the chip in your hands, the little bronzey coin that was so small but felt like it was bigger then the world to you. You smiled at the group of people around you, nodding your head once again before walking towards you sponsor and giving them a hug. It felt good, like a big weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You’d never spoken much in meetings, you were more than happy to hear other peoples stories, but tonight had been special to you. You’d thought about what you were going to say, much of it being what you’d talked about with your moms earlier in the week during family therapy. It had been hard, talking to your moms so openly about how you felt, but it was something you were becoming better at as the days passed.

You stayed around for the coffee and biscuits, talking with the people that you’d grown close to over the past month and a half in the mildewy church which smelt a little bit too similar to your great grandmothers living room.

You stuck around until the first few people started to trail out, before you made the decision it was time to get home. You said your goodbyes, farewelling your friends before dismissing yourself and making the walk out to the carpark, towards Leah’s car.

Driving had become your one piece of real freedom, it was the only time where you got to think to yourself. A couple of months ago, you would have found solace in continuous loneliness, you would have sat in the car for hours and been happy. Now though, you found yourself navigating your way back home as fast as possible, whilst still abiding by road rules.

The gravel driveway underneath the wheels of a car used to make you nervous, if anything it now made you feel anticipation.

You jumped from the car with a hop in your step, the bronze chip still clutched in your palm, the metal now warm against your skin after the acclimation of the metal to your body temperature.

You used your key to enter the door, smiling at the warmth and scent that you were met with as you untied your shoes and left them by the front door.

Leah was waiting for you in the kitchen, she always was, every night you decided to go to a meeting. You knew that she still worried, that she spent nights awake worrying about you. You’d lost count of how many times on the nights you spent in your own bed how often she’d come to check to make sure you were still lying there. She probably always would worry, you wouldn’t blame her if she did, you’d put her through a lot.

She brought you into a hug, the same hug as every night, it always lasted for a little bit too long, but you never brought it up.

She would hug you tighter every single time, it was clockwork.

“Lia’s come over for dinner, she’s cooked spaghetti for everybody, but she made bangers and mash for you special, no pasta.”

You smiled at your mom, letting her press a chaste kiss to your forehead before you followed her into the dining room, where dinner was already plated up and Jordan and Lia were already seated at the table.

Jordan sent a smile your way as you sat down, things were still rocky between the two of you, it was never going to be perfect, it was never going to be as good as before, but you were both doing the work to heal bits of it and that was what mattered.

“Hey bubba, how was your meeting?”

Most nights you answered the same, with something simple.

“Good, I got this today.”

You pushed the chip onto the table, pulling your phone out of your pocket so you didn’t have to witness their raw reactions.

“Bubba, we’ve talked about this, no phones at the table.”

You frowned, pushing your phone back into your trackpant pocket, and looking up at your moms.

“This is awesome bubba, we’re both so proud of you.”

Jordan had picked up the coin, looking at it with glazed eyes.

There had been a lot of that since you’d come out of rehab, a lot of crying, a lot more than you were comfortable with.

“I want you to keep it.”

Jordan looked up at you, mildly confused.

“Bubba, it’s your token, your progress, your hardwork, you should keep it.”

You shook your head.

“Mom has my one month one, I want you to keep this one. I’m doing it for you two, I’m trying to be better for you two, and I want you to know that I’m committed to it and that without you guys I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

You could see tears pooling in Leah’s eyes from the other side of the table, jordan’s own ones beginning to drip down her face.

“Anyways, it’s not big deal, let’s have dinner, I’m sure whatever Lia cooked up is better than anything you and mom could have managed.”

You tried to pass it off with some lighthearted humour, but based off of the tears on your parents face, it wasn’t doing much.

Jordan and Leah both reached over, taking a hand in each of yours.

“You know that no matter what happens, no matter where you go, who you become, what you do, how you live your life, you will always be our beautiful girl.”

[scribblesofagoonerr]

stranger danger | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: monkey unintentionally put's buddy's life in jeapordy when she asks a fan to hold her without any realisation of what she is doing wrong

word count: 7082 words

double the trouble masterlist

“We’re here! We’re here!” You cheered from the comfort of your car seat as you arrived at the Emirates stadium ahead of the match today against Aston Villa which also means you’ll get to see Jordan.

“We are, bubba,” Leah replies, parking her car in the underground car park at the stadium away from all the loud fans that are cheering for both teams, “Are you excited?” She wonders.

“Uh huh! An I get to see Mama as well!” You exclaim, swinging your legs back and forth. 

You of course are very excited to be able to see her, although you don’t like it that she plays for a different team now so you’re unsure who to cheer for.

You don’t like being confused.

Leah turns around and nods in agreement with you, “That’s right, you do! I bet Mama will be so happy to see you!” She stated, unbuckling her seatbelt to get out of the car.

“Gets’ out, Mummy!” Your small voice demanded, wanting out of the restrictions of your car seat straps that you have been confined to for the entire car ride.

“Alright alright, little miss impatient,” Leah chuckled, opening the back door of her car and unstrapping you so you’re free to get out, “Big jump then bubba. Ready? 1… 2… 3!”

“Whoa!” You exclaimed with wide eyes as you made the jump out of it, “That was a big jump, Mummy!”

Leah smiled fondly as she took a gentle hold of your hand while you both made the walk over to the players entrance where you already saw fans queuing up and you smiled brightly and waved.

“Hi!” Your little voice chirped, waving your hand at them as Leah guided you inside, “Mummy the fans’ all waved back!” You told her, excitedly.

“I saw, bubba,” Leah smiled and knelt down as much as she could with her ouchie on her poorly knee to help you put your big red puffer jacket on to stop you getting cold when you’re outside, “Are you ready to cheer for the girls today?”

“Yeah!” You nod, you're vibrating with excitement and barely able to stand still to allow Leah to zip up your coat, “No coat, Mummy! Don’ wanna wear it! Don’ wan it!”

“No coat?” Leah arched her eyebrows, playfully as she successfully zipped it up,”You have to wear one bubba otherwise you’ll be cold out there, and we don’t want that, do we?” She questioned, in a gentle tone of voice.

“But I can’t see me top now! No Arsenal badge!” You looked down and pouted that you wouldn’t be able to show your own Arsenal top that you were wearing with Leah’s name and number on the back because you can’t see the crest, “Don’ wan it on!”

“It has to stay on, little miss,” Leah said in a gentle yet firm tone of voice as she fixed the small red beanie over your head, “You still have the crest on your coat, don’t you?” She motioned to the crest on the jacket.

“No’ the same,” You whined pitifully, begrudgingly taking hold of Leah’s hand as you walked through the stadium, “Where’ dey?”  You asked, confused as you couldn’t see any of the other girls around.

“They’ll be coming soon, bubba,” Leah promised you as you walked in the direction to walk out onto the pitch, “Everyones’ on the bus aren’t they? We came in the car, remember?” She reminded you, gently.

“Yeah, Monkey’ on bus!” The realisation hit you as your favourite person took a separate journey, able to play in the match this week since she wasn’t very well last week - she fell down on the pitch and that scared you a lot, “Roo be here soon?”

“I imagine you’ll be able to see her in no time when she arrives with auntie Vivi,” Leah reassured you with a fond smile, happy that you’ve made a new friend.

“Me and Roo are besties, Mummy!” You declared, promptly.

“You are? Well I’m glad to hear that, just like me and auntie Beth are,” Leah smiled at your words as she looked over to the other side of the pitch and gasped, “Oh look who I can see over there, bubba.”

You follow her pointed finger in the direction to where you can see Jordan and your eyes lit up in excitement, “Mama!”

You don’t waste time to pull your hand out of Leahs’ grasp and run for Jordan, which took her completely off guard, “What the– Hey, kiddo!”

“Why ou’ look sad, Mama?” You tilted your head to look at her in confusion, “Don’ be sad. I’m ‘ere now!”

“I’m not sad now that you’re here, kiddo,” Jordan scooped you up into her arms and squeezed you gently, “I’m happy to see you!”

“Missed ou’, Mama!” You clung tightly to her and rested your head against her chest, “Monkey no ‘ere yet. Me an Mummy came in the car!”

“Did you? Wow!” Jordan questioned in response as she listened to you animatedly chat away to her, “Is little one feeling better now?” She turned to ask Leah, aware of Monkey having the flu last week despite your big sisters’ reluctant feelings towards Jordan right now.

Monkey’s upset with Jordan but you’re not too sure why though.

“I mean she seems to be her usual menace of herself again so I’m convinced she’s fine now,” Leah chuckled, shaking her head slightly, “Isn’t that right, bubba?”

“Uh huh!” You giggled faintly in agreement, “Mama, we listen’d to North London Forever! Mummy play’ it over an over in da car!

Jordan gasped playfully and brushed a fly away hair out of your face, “That’s your favourite song isn’t it?”

“And Mummy’s too! Cos’ were Gooners!” You insisted, reciting Leah’s words you’ve heard many times.

“Does that mean you’re not cheering for Mama today then?” Jordan questioned, curiously.

Firmly shaking your head in disagreement, “No, I ‘ove ‘ou Mama but I cheer for Arsenal! I Gooner!” You declared.

Leah grinned proudly, “That’s right bubba. Say it loud, say it proud.”

“Well who am I to argue with my little Gooner?” Jordan joked, readjusting you on her hip as she tickled you.

“Arsenal, Mama. Arsenal!” You cheered aloud.

“I think the bus will be arriving soon, so I’m gonna go and catch up with our menace to make sure she’s not up to no good,” Leah spoke up, observant to understand it must be difficult for Jordan today so it would be good for the two of you to have some time alone, “You’ll be alright with her? I’ll come back in a bit.”

“I’ve got her for now,” Jordan nodded in agreement, “Thank you.” She mouthed to Leah, relieved to be able to spend some one on one time with you before the match.

“Ou’ and Monkey be playin’ against each other!” You stated, promptly as you held Jordan’s hand and walked around the large pitch before the fans all started to arrive.

Jordan peered down at you and, a smile brightening her face, “That’s right, Buddy. Are you going to cheer for Mama’s team?”

“M’ a gooner, Mama!” You insisted, puffing out your chest and declaring your love for Arsenal.

“What?” Jordan gasped in shock horror once again, her eyes wide, “You mean you’re not even gonna for Mama?”

You were stumped in thought, standing there looking deep in thought before you came to your decision, “Only ‘ou, Mama. I be Gooner still!”

“Well I suppose that counts for something if you’re cheering for me, huh?” Jordan chuckled, happy enough with that decision in itself.

“Whos’ this then I see? Hi Buddy!” One of Jordans’ teammates, Rachel cooed as approached, waving as you shyly tried to hide behind Jordan’s legs, “Oh you’re not shy. Since when are you shy?” She joked, trying to tickle you.

You were familiar with Rachel more than the rest of the Aston Villa team since she also played on the England team with both Leah and Jordan at different times but that doesn’t mean you’re still not completely shy around her.

“No, ‘top it!” You whined, glaring at her while trying to push her hand away, “Mama, up!” You demanded, not wanting to be on the ground any longer.

Jordan smiled and obliged to your request, hoisting you up onto her hip as you became shy and she wanted to make you feel safe and secure.

Rachel laughed in amusement and held her hands up in mock surrender, “Are you gonna cheer for us today if we win?”

“No! I Gooner!” You declared, nuzzling your head against Jordan’s shoulder, “Arsenal! Arsenal!”

“What? No way!” Rachel huffed, playfully as she crossed her arms in a dramatic fashion, “Why not be a Villain instead?”

You were firm in your decision as you shook your head, “NO!”

“I already tried that, kiddo isn’t budging on this,” Jordan chuckled, rubbing your back comfortingly.

“Arsenal win! Score goals!” You continued to chant from the safety of Jordan’s arms.

Rachel pretended to clutch her hand over her heart which made you giggle, “I feel hurt, deeply hurt. Where’s Monks?’” She questioned, trying to spot out your big sister.

“On da’ bus with ‘Ra,” You told her, lifting your head up from Jordan’s shoulder with newfound confidence talking to her, “Monkey and ‘Ra are best friends!”

Rachel nodded along in understanding although she didn’t really have any idea who ‘Ra’ was, “Causing trouble I bet?” She joked.

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” Jordan replied in agreement, knowing exactly what Monkey tended to be like at times.

“Mummy gon’ to find her. I stay with Mama ‘stead!” You declared proudly.

Rachel hummed in agreement, “Ah, I see. I see.”

“Roo will be here soon!” You said in realisation, excitement bubbling over at the thought of seeing your new best friend.

“Roo– Oh right, Rory… Beth’s little ‘un that they adopted,” Rachel realised.

“Yeah, these two are already good friends from what I’ve heard,” Jordan added.

“We’ besties!” You giggled, repeating the words you’ve heard before.

“You are? Wow, that’s exciting!” Rachel exclaimed, listening to you chat to her and being genuinely intrigued, “I bet the two of you get up to no good, huh?”

“Uh huh. Lots and lots!” You insisted, your eyes shining with mischief.

Rachel chuckled in amusement, “Oh I’m sure you both keep everyone on their toes then.”

“Buddy!” You heard your new best friend squeal loudly.

“Roo!” You shouted back, a bit more ecstatic to see her.

“Oh, you're not shy now, are you?” Rachel joked, leaning forward to ruffle your hair, “Would you look at that, little besties’ reunited!”

“Hiya, girls!” Beth joined her two England teammates while holding hands with Rory.

“Mama, ‘ook it’s Roo!” You perked up instantly seeing your new best friend walking on the pitch with Beth.

“Oh am I just forgotten about then huh little miss? I see how it is,” Beth joked with you, leaning forward to try and ruffle your hair which you skillfully dodged.

“Hi auntie Beff– Look, deres’ auntie Wally too!” You wiggled in Jordan’s arms as soon as you spotted another one of your favourite aunties chatting with Leah to break free to go and run in her direction, “Mama, down. Wan’ go see her!”

Jordan chuckled in amusement and placed you back down on the floor so you could be free to run to Lia, “Go and say hello then, kiddo.”

“I wanna come as well!” Rory shouted, eager to chase after you to go and say hello to the woman, “Wait for me!”

“Be careful, Buddy,” Jordan called after you wearily in case you were to trip up along the way before you made it to the safety of Leah and Lia.

“Don’ like this,” You pouted while sitting there with your arms crossed while sitting on Leah’s lap, “Why Arsenal no scoring? That’ no good!”

It only took 25 minutes before the first goal was scored, and it wasn’t Arsenal. You really didn’t like that one bit.

Leah chuckled amusedly, a gentle smile on her face despite the scoreline, “You’ll have to go and have a word with them, won’t you, bubba?” she teased, lightly.

“Shout at ‘dem to kick ball!” You declared with a firm gaze that looks pretty much identical to one that Leah had during certain matches, “Dey’ need Monkey on pitch. Monkey go score goals!” You shouted aloud, trying to get the attention of your favourite person who was sitting in front of you on the bench with Kyra.

“I’ll try my best,” Monkey retorted, flashing you a cheeky grin and giving you a thumbs up before she continued to chat away to the young Australian girl.

“See Mummy? Monkey’ can score de’ goals! She needs to go on!” You insisted, knowing that bringing Monkey onto the pitch would be helpful.

“Manager Buddy in the future,” Viv chipped in, overhearing the conversation as she was sat the other side of Laura with Rory on her lap who was animatedly watching the game.

“Bored, Mummy. Wan’ go and sit with Mama!” You whined and became fidgety, wanting to run over to the other bench and sit with Jordan.

“Bubba, sit still,” Leah murmured as she noted you starting to become restless, “I know you want to go and sit with Mama, but she’s going to be warming up soon and it’s not safe to run back and forth between the benches.” She explained.

“Wan’ sit with Mama though,” You pouted and didn’t like that answer at all, still trying to wriggle off Leah's lap as she tightened her grip around your waist, “Wan’ down, Mummy– Mama, I sit with ‘ou!” You shouted over to Jordan to get her attention as she is about to start warming up on the sidelines.

“You can’t kiddo, I’m about to go and warm up. You sit with Mummy for now and be good, okay?” Jordan explained gently before she started to run along the sidelines and warm up while the match played out.

“No, don’ like it! Don’ wanna sit with Mummy!” You whined in frustration, making another attempt to wiggle free and make a run in the direction of Jordan, “Wan’ go down!” You repeated.

“You can’t bubba,” Leah continued to keep a gentle hold of you on her lap as you still fought to escape, “I know you want to sit with Mama but right now it’s really not safe to run around everywhere like you want to do, okay? You’ve got to sit here with me, Auntie Vivi, Laura and Roo, please.”

“Nooo,” You weren’t having any of it and huffed, turning away with your arms crossed over your chest, “Don’ like ‘ou! Don’ wan’ stay here!”

“I know you do, bubba but you can’t,” Leah exhaled a sigh, clearly knowing that keeping you in one place would be a hard task at the minute.

Hearing the commotion, Monkey turned around and took note of your upset expression, unlike your usual cheeky smile, “Why the long face, Buddy?”

“Mummy bein’ mean an won’t let me sit with Mama!” You told her in a sulk.

“Well that’s not very nice is it,” Monkey retorted with a mock pout, “Why’re you bein’ so cruel, Le?” She joked with the blonde.

“Don’t you start Menace,” Leah gave your favourite person a certain look, “Go and start warming up,”

“Urgh, do I have to? I’d much rather sit here and bug you instead,” Monkey whined dramatically, stretching out in an exaggerated manner.

“Go now, menace,” Leah insisted, her patience thinning but still playful.

Monkey huffed, throwing her hands up in mock defeat, “Why are you always such a buzzkill sometimes?”

“Menace–”

“I’m goin’, I’m goin’, chill out,” Monkey grinned as she finally headed off, leaving you giggling despite your earlier frustration.

“Still no Arsenal goal,” You were in a sulk, sitting there frustrated at the lack of goals that were scored during the first half of the game – You could tell Arsenal had a lot of chances, but none of them went in.

They needed Monkey on the pitch, maybe you could speak to Jonas and he’d listen to you instead?

“There’s still plenty of time bubba,” Leah tried to reassure you, but even she felt a bit apprehensive about the way that the game seemed to be turning out so far.

“No, dey’ no good!” You murmured, crossing your arms and losing all your current faith in the team.

“They’re not scoring,” Rory’s little voice interjected, looking as deflated as you felt being sat bundled up on the bench and not being able to run free like you both very much wanted to do.

There was only a bit of extra time added on in the first half, but even that wasn’t enough to score.

“You’ve got to be patient, bubba,” Leah reminded you softly with an amused expression on her face.

“Don’ like it,” You grumbled unhappily and continued to sit there in a sulk, “Can I go an see Mama now?” You questioned, hoping that would lift your mood.

However, you're disappointed when Leah shook her head in disagreement, “Mama’s going onto the pitch to warm up,” She motioned over to the pitch where you could see Jordan alongside some of her own Aston Villa team mates, “And there’s Monkey as well, can you see her?”

You followed her pointed finger in the direction to see your favourite person jogging on the pitch beside Kyra, “Wan’ go join them.”

“You can’t do that because it’s not safe right now,” Leah reminded you, moving to lift you off her lap, “Right, can you be a good girl and sit here with Auntie Vivi and Roo? Mummy needs to go and do a quick interview with Auntie Al now,”

“Auntie Al?” You perked up at the mention of Leah’s best friend and your Auntie, Alex, who was making her way over with a microphone in her hand, and you didn’t hesitate to try and follow after Leah, “I come with ‘ou, Mummy! I wan’ say hi to Auntie Al!”

“Okay, you can come as long as you promise to not try and run onto the pitch,” Leah reluctantly agreed, hoisting you up onto her hip as she began to make her way over to her best friend, “Deal?”

“Ou’ got it dude,” You said confidently, sticking your thumb up in agreement.

Leah chuckled in amusement, “Good girl. Right, come on then.”

As soon as you spotted Alex, you couldn’t help but shout, “Auntie Al! Auntie Al!”

“Sh, bubba,” Leah hushed you gently, “Auntie Al’s just talking to the camera, see?” She said, pointing in the direction of the camera recording Alex.

“But I just wan’ say hi!” You insisted, tugging on Leah’s trousers impatiently.

Alex noticed you and smiled, making her way over to you both as she introduced Leah, “Because we are delighted– She can see me walking towards her right now, she’s giving me a big smile – to be joined by Arsenal and England captain, Leah Williamson!”

“Hello,” Leah greeted her best friend, wrapping her free arm around her in a warm hug as you clung onto her trouser leg.

Alex returned the hug with Leah, “Thank you for joining us on this one.”

“Hey, don’ forget ‘bout me, Auntie Al!” You tugged at Alex’s trouser leg, pouting when she was yet to acknowledge you yet.

“Oh, how could I forget about our special guest?” Alex smiled, her eyes twinkling in amusement as she knelt down to your height, “Hello, little miss. Are you joining us for the interview?”

“Ello! I be part of the interview as well!” You beamed proudly, nodding so hard that you almost lost your balance.

Alex chuckled, glancing up at Leah, “Oh, are you?”

“Yeah,” Leah responded with a faint smile, “Sorry, Al, but it was the only way to stop her from running onto the pitch right now to join them.”

“Ah, I see. Well that’s okay with me!” Alex winked, patting your head affectionately, “I’ll never complain about seeing my favourite little niece!”

“See, Mummy? Auntie Al’ don’t mind!” You turned to Leah triumphantly.

Leah chuckled in response, “I can see that bubba.”

It wasn’t anything but a professional interview like it should have been with you involved as you demanded to be up in Leah’s arms to have easier access to reach the microphone in her hands.

Leah and Alex were diving straight into what you considered boring grown-up talk, but you were more interested to tell Alex all about Monkey and how she was going to score.

Though, when Leah mentioned splitting her trousers during an important ceremony, you couldn’t help but giggle because you found it really funny.

You attempted to reach for the microphone in Leah’s hands, “Auntie Al, can I talk? I wan’ talk!”

“Sure, Buddy,” Alex agreed, holding her own microphone out for you to take, “What do you want to talk about?”

“Ou’ see my big sister Monkey over ‘dere?” You pointed dramatically to the pitch, where Monkey was warming up with the rest of the team, “She’s gon’ score!”

“Is that right, huh?” Alex asked, playing along.

“Uh huh! She told me she would! Monkey always scores!” You insisted, brimming with confidence.

Alex chuckled in agreement, “Well then it sounds like we’ve got a little football expert on our hands. I’ll be sure to watch her closely.”

“Monkey’s my big sister an my favourite person!” You added, proudly.

Alex smiled and ruffled your hair affectionately, “Well it certainly sounds like you have your hands full with them two!” She told Leah with a playful smirk.

They continued to talk about more grown-up things while you wriggled about in Leah’s arms.

“Need a big performance in this second half,” Alex stated.

“We do,” Leah replied in agreement.

“Monkey score!” You chipped in, determinedly.

Alex chuckled in amusement, “You heard it here from Buddy herself,” she joked, ruffling your hair, “Okay thank you both for joining me…” With that she continued to speak about the latest highlights of another game but you were more interested to try and wriggle into her arms and have a cuddle with her.

“Come here munchkin,” Alex didn’t hesitate to scoop you up into her arms as soon as the camera had stopped rolling but it wasn’t long before you had to go back and find your seat on the bench ahead of the second half of the match.

At least you had hope that Monkey would come onto the pitch.

You felt a surge of excitement when Monkey was subbed on during the 63rd minute of the game, your eyes lit up as your favourite person stepped back onto the pitch and you happily wiggled in your seat on Leah’s lap. 

You just knew she was going to score – It was only a matter of time before it happened!

“Look, Mummy! Look!” You squealed, excitedly as you pointed in the direction of the sidelines where Monkey was standing waiting to be subbed on, “Monkey’s goin’ on!”

“I see that bubba,” Leah smiled, joining in the cheers in encouragement for her as she stepped onto the pitch when it was announced, “Go on, Menace!” She shouted.

“Go Monkey! Go Monkey!” You were vibrating with excitement, wiggling on Leah’s lap and cheering for your favourite person and big sister, “Go! Go!”

“Go Monkey!” Rory joined in on the cheering from where she sat perched on Viv’s lap still, still waiting in anticipation for Beth to make her return to the pitch in this game.

“Monkey’s gonna score!” You insisted, nodding her head as you watched her run about and get the ball under her control, “Go, Monkey. Go!”

Nine minutes later, your excitement doubled when you saw Jordan getting ready to come on. Even if she played for the other team, you couldn’t help but love watching her in action.

“Go, Mama!” You cheered loudly, trying to stand up on Leah’s lap and clap in excitement as Jordan turned round and winked at you before she raced into the pitch, “Yeah, Mama!”

“Someones’ getting into watching the match finally,” Laura joked, watching your mood perk up as you were now excited and bouncing about like usual.

“Kick ball, Monkey! Good job, Monkey!” You shouted loudly in the direction of your favourite person as you turned your attention to Leah, “See, Mummy? Monkey’s doin’ a good job!”

Leah chuckled and wrapped her arms around your legs so you didn’t slip and hurt yourself, “She is doing, isn’t she?” She retorted.

Then, in the 87th minute, the moment everyone had been waiting for: Beth made her long-awaited comeback, subbing in for Noelle. The whole stadium’s energy was electric and every single one of the fans were up on their feet, cheering and celebrating for the moment.

“Go, Mummy!” Rory screamed, pure joy plastered all over her face as she watched Beth run onto the pitch and start to make an instant impact in the game.

“Go, Auntie Beff!” You joined in cheering for the blonde.

And then, just like that, in the 89th minute, Monkey made her mark. Charging down the field, she smashed the ball into the back of the net.

“Fuckin’ let’s go, come on!” You heard Monkey shout loud from the other side of the pitch.

You gasped dramatically, “Mummy, Monkey said bad word!” Although you didn’t care too much when she’d just scored a goal to equalise the score and Monkey was running around the pitch, acting completely crazy and out of control and being her usual menace self.

The action didn’t stop there, there was twelve minutes extra time added time and in the second minute, Katie scored a goal and then another 2 minutes later, Alessia sealed the deal with another goal, assisted by Beth.

It was an incredible end to the match, one that had you and the entire stadium buzzing.

After the match, while the team gathered for the post-match huddle, you were far more interested in running around with Rory than listening in on the boring grown-up talk.

“Kick ball, Roo!” You encouraged, pointing in the direction of the goal net, “Kick it!”

“Yeah!” Rory cheered as the two of you played, laughing and kicking the ball in the back of the net.

“Goal!” You squealed, running around, laughing and having a great time while the grown-ups talked about stuff you thought wasn’t worth listening to.

The fans all stuck around the stadium, waiting for the girls to all do their lap to thank the fans. As the girls all broke out of the huddle, Monkey snuck up behind you and lifted you into the air with a mischievous grin.

“Got ya!” The older girl said in a playful tone of voice.

“Ah– Monkey, put me down! Down!” You squirmed in her arms, giggling.

Your favourite person continued to grin amusingly, “What if I just…” She paused, tossing you over her shoulder, making you dangle upside down, “Dangle you like this?”

“Noooo!” You shrieked in mock terror, thrashing and playfully slapping at her back,  “Mummy, ‘elp me!” You called out, still laughing but hoping Leah would rescue you.

“Monkey, be careful with her,” Leah warned from a distance, her voice firm but calm as she chatted with Beth.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. She’s absolutely fine! See?” Monkey grumbled playfully, adjusting you quickly to spare herself another lecture, “Tattletale.”

“I’m serious, Menace!” Leah shot back, keeping a close eye on you.

“I know,” Monkey huffed and rolled her eyes in response, although her attention shifted as one fan called her out by her proper name, which she clearly didn’t like and her face scrunched up in annoyance, “Urgh, I really hate that name,” She grumbled under her breath, shaking her head as you continued to giggle in her arms.

“They're shouting ‘ou!” You pointed in the direction of another fan trying to get her attention.

“So they are,” Monkey hummed in agreement and followed your gaze, “Wanna come and say hello with me?”

“Uh huh,” You replied in agreement, burying her head in the comfort of your favourite person’s shoulder as she walked over to them with you still perched on her hip.

“Hi!” Monkey greeted them casually.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d actually come over,” The fan gushed in excitement, “Uh, wow. You’re awesome! You saved the game today!”

“Ha, thanks,” Monkey awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand, not liking the direct attention on her, “It wasn't just all me though, it was a team effort, you know?”

“Monkey kicked the ball!” You chipped in proudly, feeling safe in her arms, “Goal scored!”

Your favourite person chuckled and shook her head, “I just do what I love – kick a ball, score a few goals,” She said, humbly.

The fans all stared at her in amazement, “You’re so cool,” One of them spoke aloud, “Would you mind taking a selfie?”

“Sure,” Monkey shrugged her shoulders, though she hesitated when asked to hold the phone and she realised she would need both of her hands free, “Uh, would someone mind holding Buddy for a second?”

“I’ll do it!” An eager fan at the front piped up, and without a second thought, Monkey passed you over to a stranger.

Of course you giggled at first, none the wiser, until you realised you were in unfamiliar arms and your mood shifted.

“Ello’,” You mumbled shyly, then your eyes widened in panic and fear, “Mummy! Mummy!” You called, scanning the crowd for Leah, your voice growing anxious.

The minute that Leah heard you shout for her, the blood ran cold as she saw you being held by a stranger and ignoring the pain in bad knee, “Buddy!” Her voice was sharp with worry as she sprinted towards you.

“Le, wait, your knee–” Beth called out in concern before spotting Jordan, “Jord! Over there!”

Leah reached you in record time, snatching you back into her arms with no hesitation, not even acknowledging the fan who had held you.

“Mummy,” You mumbled, nuzzling yourself closer to her as you were relieved to be in her arms again.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, “ Leah murmured, the evident relief in her arms as she held you close to her, although it didn’t last long before her face was tight with anger as she grabbed Monkey by her bicep, pulling her away from the fans, “With me, now!” She demanded, her voice low and furious, “What the… What the hell were you thinking?��

“What’s wrong?” Monkey asked, genuinely confused.

“What’s wrong? Are you joking?” Leah’s voice rose in disbelief, “You cannot be serious right now, Monkey!”

“Uhm, look, I know it looks bad, but I was there,” Monkey protested, her tone defensive but uncertain, “I was there the whole time, and they just wanted a selfie. I couldn’t hold Buddy as well, and they seemed kind enough to help.”

“No! No, you do not under any circumstances hand Buddy to someone that you don’t know!” Leah snapped, clutching you tightly.

“But I was there–”

“That doesn’t matter!” Leah interrupted, “You can’t just pass her off like that!”

At that moment, Jordan arrived, having been alerted by Beth, “Hey, kiddo– Le, what’s going on? You look ready to explode.”

Leah held you close, her grip tight as if afraid to let go, “Monkey gave Buddy to a fan. A complete stranger at that!”

Jordan’s face fell in shock, “What? Monkey, why would you do that?”

“I didn’t think about it,” Monkey insisted, her shoulders slumping as she realised her mistake she had made, “It’s not… It’s not a big deal though, I was there.”

“It is a big deal,” Jordan said firmly, her expression serious, “You have to be more careful.”

Leah continued to hold you tightly, her heart still racing from the shock as she could feel your little body pressed against hers, nuzzling your head into her neck.

“I’ve got you, bubba. You’re okay now,” Leah whispered softly, kissing the top of your head, though the tension in her body refused to ease and she wasn’t ready to let go of you just yet with the thought of someone else holding you still so fresh in her mind.

Monkey huffed, frustration mixed with guilt, as Leah continued to hold you, unwilling to let you out of her sight, “I… I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean too– I’m sorry,” Her eyes narrowed as her irritation crept in, “Why is she even here?” She muttered, looking in the direction of Jordan as she felt the clear resentment for her still.

Leah’s temper flared hearing Monkey’s muttering and her eyes’ flashed with anger, “I don’t care how you feel about Jordan, this isn’t up for debate and you need to listen when it comes to Buddy’s safety.”

“Leah, it’s fine. We’ve got different things to worry about right now,” Jordan chimed in, understanding that Monkey was reluctant to be around her considering everything but that wasn’t the main priority right now, “Let me take Buddy so you can talk to Monkey? I won’t let her out of my arms– Our girls are what’s more important than Monkey’s reaction towards me.”

Monkey stood nearby, shifting uncomfortably as Leah’s fury simmered, but she remained silent for now, knowing she was in trouble.

Jordan approached slowly, taking in Leah’s rigid posture and the way her arms tightened protectively around you, “Le, it’s okay. She’s safe now,” She told her gently, reaching out and brushing her hand along your back before looking back at Leah, “Let me take her, okay? You need to talk to Monkey.” She repeated.

Leah’s jaw clenched at the thought of you letting go again so soon felt unbearable, but she knew that Jordan was right, “I just… I don’t want to let her out of my sight right now,” She admitted, her voice shaking with emotion.

“I know,” Jordan softened her tone, reassuring her with a calm confidence, “I’m not going to let her out of my sight, Le. I promise. You know she’s safe with me.”

Leah hesitated, her arms still wrapped around you while her protective instincts still screamed for her to hold you, but she also knew that Monkey needed to understand what she had done wrong and that meant having a serious talk with her.

“Okay,” Leah murmured, exhaling a deep breath and nodding as she gently handed you over to Jordan, though it took every ounce of willpower to do so.

Immediately, you nestled into Jordan’s arms and felt safe again, while Leah watched the two of you with cautious eyes.

“I’ve got her,” Jordan repeated, reassuring her again while holding you securely in her arms, “Go talk to Monkey. I won’t let her out of my sight.”

Leah gave a final nod before turning to Monkey, her expression hardening once more, “You and I need to talk. Now.”

“Fine,” Monkey crossed her arms, still looking annoyed but knowing she had no choice.

“Where’s Mummy an Monkey goin’?” You asked, confused.

“They're just going to have a little chat, kiddo,” Jordan explained, keeping a gentle hold of you in her arms as she walked in the opposite direction.

Leah’s voice was low but firm as she led your favourite person away from the others, the privacy away from the fans who still loitered in the stadium as her eyes glanced back one last time to make sure Jordan was still holding you.

Pacing in front of Monkey, Leah’s emotions were still raw from what had happened as she forced herself to take a deep breath, knowing that this was a critical moment and she wanted–  needed Monkey to understand.

“Monkey, listen to me,” Leah began, trying to keep her temper in check but she failed to hide her underlying anger, “What you did back there – It wasn’t just careless, it was dangerous.”

Monkey shuffled her feet awkwardly, still not fully meeting Leah’s gaze, “I didn’t… I just thought about taking the photo– I was there the whole time!”

“No, I don’t care if you were there the whole time,” Leah was quick to fire back, keeping a firm tone of voice, “You do not hand Buddy over to someone that you don’t know!”

“I didn’t mean it, Le–” Monkey mumbled, still not quite understanding the seriousness of the situation.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Leah cut in, trying to control her frustration, “But that’s the point I’m trying to make here, you didn’t think and when it comes to Buddy, you have to think. Always.”

Monkey folded her arms defensively, her jaw clenched, “It was just for a second. I was right there.”

Leah sighed, realising she needed to break it down in a way that Monkey would really grasp, “I don’t care if it was just for a second. You cannot hand her over to someone you don’t know, even for a moment,” She paused to take a breath, “You have no idea who that person is, what their intentions are. They could walk off with her, and by the time you have realised, she’s gone. Do you get that?”

Monkey huffed, the weight of Leah’s words starting to hit her, but she still looked frustrated, “I get it, but I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. I was right there, Le!”

Leah stopped pacing and turned fully towards her, “It’s a big deal because you don’t seem to understand how fast things can go wrong,” Her gone grew sharper, “You’re not just handing her to a stranger – You’re risking her safety. What if they took her? What if something worse happened?”

The seriousness in Leah’s voice made Monkey glance up, her brows knitting in frustration, but also in realisation, “I didn’t… I didn’t think of that.”

“I know,” Leah said more gently now, seeing that Monkey was starting to understand, “But you have to think, every time. Buddy’s a toddler, she’s my little girl and your little sister – It’s our job to protect her, and that means being cautious, especially in this job with strangers around us.”

“I get it now,” Monkey exhaled slowly, her arms dropping to the side, “I get that I messed up. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“I need you to remember this going forward,” Leah told her, softening her voice but still remaining firm, “No more passing her to strangers, no matter how nice they might seem. If you can’t hold her, you wait until I can, or Jordan, or someone that I can trust. That’s it. No exceptions.”

Monkey finally met Leah’s gaze, her frustration melting into a more serious expression, “Okay. I am sorry, Le. I really didn’t mean to mess up.”

Leah placed a hand on Monkey’s shoulder, squeezing it gently, “I know you didn’t, but you need to take this seriously that Buddy’s safety comes first, always,” She paused to take a breath, watching Monkey process her words but there was still something that she needed to address, and she knew it wouldn’t be easy for Monkey to hear, “For now, until we can be sure nothing like this happens again, you’re not allowed to be left alone with Buddy in public situations like match days.”

Monkey’s face fell, “Wait, so now you don’t trust me at all?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Monkey,” Leah sighed softly, keeping her voice calm, “It’s just that right now, we need to be extra cautious. You’ll get that trust back, but it’s going to take time, okay?”

Monkey swallowed hard, clearly disappointed but trying to accept it, “Okay. I get it.”

“We’ll work on it,” Leah reassured her, giving her another squeeze, “This won’t be forever, it’s just until we know you really understand how important this is.”

Monkey nodded slowly, still feeling the weight of the consequences but knowing Leah was right, “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll do better.” she murmured, apologetically.

“Good,” Leah nodded, sensing Monkey’s sincerity, though the seriousness of the situation remained, “That’s all I need – For you to understand and to be careful from now on.”

Monkey sighed deeply, her frustration giving way to acceptance, “I will, I promise. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“Come on,” Leah draped an arm over Monkey’s shoulder, gently guiding her back towards where you and Jordan stood, chatting with Katie and Caitlin. As promised, Jordan was still holding you, though you were beginning to grow sleepy from the long day.

The moment you spotted Leah, your arms shot out eagerly, “Mummy!”

Jordan smiled softly, sensing your desire to be with Leah, “She missed you.” She said gently, handing you over to her.

Leah wasted no time, taking you into her arms with a sense of relief that melted the tightness in her chest. You immediately nuzzled into her neck, clutching her coat tightly, “Mummy’s got you, bubba,” she murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Monkey stood a few steps back, her arms crossed as she watched the tender moment between you and Leah, while she avoided looking directly at Jordan.

Jordan noticed Monkey’s distance but chose to leave it for now,, she knew it wasn’t the right time to address the issue, not after everything that had happened. Casting a quick glance at Leah, her expression softening as she returned her attention to you.

“Are you alright, bubba?” Leah questioned you softly, running a hand over your hair.

You nodded sleepily, still nestled close, your little hands gripping Leah as if you never wanted to let go, “Better now.” You whispered.

“Good,” Leah murmured, holding you tightly as if grounding herself in your presence as her eyes flickered to Monkey, who stood a little apart from the group, “Right, I think it’s time to get you two back home after today’s events, yeah?”

Monkey hesitated before speaking up softly, “Can I come with you in the car instead of the bus?”

Leah met her gaze and gave her a reassuring nod, “Of course you can.”

The walk to the car was quiet, each of you lost in your own thoughts. Leah kept her focus on you, keeping you safe and close, while Monkey trailed behind, still processing the day’s events, knowing that she needed to work on earning back Leah’s trust after what happened today.

For now, though, Leah had you back in her arms, and that was all that mattered.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[mysunshinetemptress]

Happily Ever after??

Leah Williamson x Jordan Nobbs x ChildWilliamson!Reader Warnings:Childhood Heartbreak

You don't know what to do, you don't know how to feel all you know is that your world has just ended, your older sister Leah and her long-term girlfriend Jordan have called time on their relationship and the mist of breaking each other's hearts with this conclusion they have also broken yours, your small ten-year-old heart.

The older girl's relationship has been going on the majority of your life, you don't remember a time without Jordan, Jordan your all-time best friend, Jordan who let you stay up just a bit later than Leah, who gave you chocolate on the weekdays, who picked you up from school, attended all of plays, all of your matches, who stood outside and helped you practice power shots in the pouring rain, who helped teach you how to ride a bike and made sure to be there for every birthday and Christmas was now gone.

Sure you could see her at Arsenal matches and talk afterwards but it wasn't the same.

Your older brother Jacob tells you it's been coming for a long time, that everyone knew it was going to happen, that they wouldn't last forever but you, you feel blindsided, they were the epitome of what love was, what love is supposed to be, how were you meant to fall in love and get married and live happily ever after if Leah and Jordan couldn't.

Leah had found herself seeking you out wanting to comfort you as well as comfort herself through the breakup, Leah knew how much you loved Jordan, how much she meant to you, and so she knew you wouldn't be dealing with the properly at all, how could you, you're ten.

What she wasn't expecting was for you to shut her out completely, for you to not want to talk to her, for you to want nothing to do with her.

"She doesn't understand Le." Leah sighed wrapping her hands around the warm mug "I know Mum but, what can I do." Amanda shrugged "She's heartbroken, she needs time to fix that, plus she feels torn." Leah looked at her mum confused "Torn." Amanda nodded "You're her big sister, she loves you, and adores you, but she also loves and adores Jordan and she feels like if she talks to or about Jordan she is being mean and upsetting you, and if she talks to or about you to Jordan she is being mean and upsetting Jordan."Leah felt her heart break at the thought of you feeling guilty for wanting to talk to Jordan, she had told Jordan amidst their break up that she wanted the pair of you to be just as close as you were.

Now Leah was seeing that it was easier said than done.

The days blurred together in a haze of sniffles and silent dinners. You retreated further into yourself, a fortress built from unspoken grief and a fractured picture of happily ever after. Leah tried everything – movie nights ended in tearful meltdowns at the slightest hint of romance, attempts at baking cookies were met with a slammed door to your room, even the promise of a brand new Arsenal jersey couldn't coax a smile.

Jacob, ever the pragmatist, tried a different approach. He'd barge into your room, not to pry, but to simply be a presence. He'd sprawl on the floor, launch into a ridiculous commentary of an imaginary football match, or share the latest embarrassing anecdote about a classmate. Sometimes, a flicker of a smile would peek through the cracks of your grief, a tiny spark of normalcy in the storm.

Today however was hard, your first match without Jordan, you played terribly unable to focus on the game at hand, your thoughts spiralling due to the older girl's absence.

You huddled under the covers, the sounds of the house muted by the thick cotton. Tears welled up again, blurring the image of the dusty Arsenal posters plastered on your wall. Leah had been right, seeing Jordan at Meadow Park wasn't the same. Sure, you'd chat, Jordan ruffling your hair with a strained smile, but the easy banter, the sleepovers with whispered secrets under fairy lights, those were gone.

Jacob's words echoed – "they wouldn't last forever." But forever was what you craved. Leah and Jordan were supposed to be the blueprint, the happily ever after you'd build your own love story on. Now, the blueprint was crumpled, tossed aside. Did that mean your own dreams were just as fragile?

Anger flickered, hot and unexpected. Maybe Leah didn't understand. Maybe no one did. They all expected you to "get over it," as if Jordan was just a stray sock, easily replaced. But Jordan wasn't a sock, she was a missing puzzle piece, leaving a gaping hole in your world.

A soft knock at the door startled you. It creaked open a sliver, revealing Leah's worried face. "Hey, can I come in?" she asked tentatively.

You hesitated. Talking meant acknowledging the gaping hole, the shattered dreams. But silence felt like a betrayal of the bond you shared. With a sigh, you mumbled, "Okay."

Leah crawled onto the bed, the familiar scent of her vanilla shampoo bringing a pang of comfort. She didn't try to talk, just sat there, a warm presence in the dim room. After a while, you found yourself reaching for her hand, the silence no longer a burden but a shared understanding.

"I miss her, Le," you whispered, voice thick with emotion.

Leah squeezed your hand. "I know, honey. I miss her too."

It wasn't the answer you wanted, but for the first time, you didn't feel alone in your grief.

Leah had made sure to keep her foot in the small crack of the door you had opened for her.

The weeks that followed were a slow dance of healing. Movie nights remained off-limits for a while, replaced by marathons of silly comedies Leah found on obscure streaming services. Baking sessions became a team effort, filled with flour-dusted giggles and the occasional mess that only siblings could create. The brand new Arsenal jersey remained folded on your chair, a silent promise for when you were ready to wear it with pride again.

Jacob's commentary continued, evolving from imaginary football matches to dramatic retellings of historical events, complete with him dressing up in mismatched clothes to portray the various characters. Sometimes you'd join in, adding your own witty remarks or mimicking the historical figures' accents, a flicker of your old self returning.

You had begun to get used to Jordan not showing up to your matches but today's match had been just as bad as the first one you had played without Jordan on the sidelines.

The final whistle blew, a harsh screech that echoed the hollowness in your chest. You slumped onto the bench, head hung low, the sting of defeat a dull ache compared to the gaping hole in your world. Your teammates, usually boisterous after a win (which this definitely wasn't), offered hesitant pats on the back, their usual celebratory whoops replaced with a quiet concern.

Jacob, ever perceptive, lingered at the edge of the field. He didn't push you to talk, just leaned against the fence, whistling a nonsensical tune you recognized from one of his childhood obsessions. As you started gathering your things, a familiar figure caught your eye across the field. Jordan, looking every bit as lost as you felt, stood awkwardly by the gate, a nervous energy radiating from her.

Suddenly, the anger that had been simmering beneath the surface threatened to boil over. How dare she show up now? Did she think a few stolen glances from across the field could erase the months of silence, the absence that gnawed at your insides? You clenched your fists, ready to storm off, when a warm hand touched your shoulder.

It was Leah. Her eyes, red-rimmed but determined, held a silent plea. "Give her a chance," she mouthed, a small, hopeful smile playing on her lips.

Hesitantly, you turned towards Jordan. The distance between you felt like an uncrossable chasm. But then, a memory surfaced: you, a wobbly mess on two wheels, Jordan running alongside, her laughter echoing in the air as you finally found your balance. A small tear escaped your eye, tracing a warm path down your cheek.

Taking a deep breath, you started walking. Slowly, tentatively, you closed the gap. You weren't sure what to say, how to navigate this new terrain, but you knew one thing – building walls wouldn't bring back the sunshine. As you reached Jordan, a single word tumbled from your lips, a question hanging in the air.

"Hi?"

The silence stretched, heavy with unspoken emotions. Jordan scuffed her toe on the ground, mirroring your hesitation. Then, she spoke, her voice barely a whisper.

"Hey, Champ. I..." she faltered, searching for the right words. "I came to see how you were doing."

You looked up, surprised. You hadn't expected her to reach out, to apologize, to acknowledge the pain she'd caused. A flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but you quickly tamped it down. It was too early to trust again.

"I'm okay," you mumbled, kicking at a stray pebble.

It wasn't entirely true. You were far from okay, but you weren't sure how to explain the confusing mix of emotions swirling inside you: anger, sadness, a longing for the way things used to be.

Jordan saw through your facade. She knelt down, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Can we talk?" she asked softly.

You hesitated, glancing back at Leah, who stood by the fence, offering a silent nod of encouragement. With a shaky breath, you nodded back at Jordan.

Finding a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of your teammates, you sat down on a grassy knoll. Jordan sat beside you, her gaze fixed on the setting sun painting the sky in hues of orange and pink.

The conversation wasn't easy. Tears welled up in your eyes as you spoke of your disappointment, the feeling of being abandoned. Jordan listened patiently, her own voice thick with regret as she explained the complexities of the breakup, the reasons that had nothing to do with you.

Slowly, a bridge began to form between the chasm that had separated you. You learned that Jordan still cared about you deeply, that she missed your laughter, your company, your fierce determination on the football pitch. You realized that breakups weren't always about falling out of love, but sometimes about growing in different directions.

As the last rays of sunlight faded, you found yourself reaching for Jordan's hand. It wasn't the same easy camaraderie you once shared, but there was a tentative warmth, a flicker of hope for a new kind of relationship.

Walking back towards Leah, you felt a lightness in your step, a sense of closure you hadn't expected. The gaping hole in your world wasn't filled entirely, but the sharp edges had softened. You knew Jordan wouldn't be cheering you on from the sidelines every game anymore, but you also knew that the love and support of your sister and the lessons learned from this heartbreak would stay with you forever.

Weeks later you looked like your old self, and you weren't anxious about your future love life (That was years down the line, if Leah had anything to do with it.)

Leah was getting ready to leave for Meadow park when you pocked your head into her room.

"Can I come?" you asked hesitantly.

Leah's smile was brighter than the morning sun. "Of course you can," she said, ruffling your hair.

The game itself was a blur. You barely registered the score, your focus entirely on Jordan and Leah. After the final whistle, you stood awkwardly by your Mum's side, unsure of what to do. Then, you saw them, walking towards you with a hesitant smile. Together like old times.

"Hey, champ," Jordan said, ruffling your hair just like she used to.

You mumbled a greeting, your cheeks burning. For a moment, there was an awkward silence. Then, Jordan surprised you both.

"You know," she said, kneeling down to your eye level, "even though things are different with Leah and me, that doesn't mean we can't still be friends. After all, who else will help you practice those power shots in the pouring rain?"

A hesitant smile tugged at the corners of your lips. Agreeing quietly, you felt the foundations of your world seeming to be formed and your heavy heart didn't feel so heavy anymore

[pers1st]

ducky

pairing: leah williamson x jordan nobbs x platonic!reader

notes: no plot just vibes, bit angsty, mentions of parental neglect

"It's too early", you groaned as Leah finally opened her apartment door for you, allowing Bella to jump up against your legs, the force of the dog almost making you fall backwards as your senses were still slowed from a good night of sleep.

"You say that every morning", Leah huffed, gently pulling the dog by her collar and allowing for you to finally step into the familiar flat. This place had been your home for just a year. It had surprised quite a lot of people for Leah to be the first to offer taking you in, mostly because the woman wasn't known to be too responsible, but both her and Jordan had watched your career since you'd played for the under 15's of England and were more than delighted when you'd finally signed your first professional contract, at only seventeen years old, for the Arsenal. The picture of the three of you after your Arsenal debut still sat on Leah's shelf by the shoe rack, where you discarded your sneakers as if this was still your place. You hadn't lived here for just a year, but the familiar warmth still welcomed you every morning that you found yourself back here, never regretting, though never admitting it either, that you had agreed to join your jokingly-called mother ducks for breakfast each sunrise.

"Is she here? Is ducky here?", Jordan yelled from the kitchen, where you found her sitting on her phone, looking up at you with a large smile on her face.

"Oh, thank God! I was starving", she chuckled as she rose from her seat to gently pull you into a hug. You made no move to wrap your arms around her smaller body.

"Too. Early."

Pulling the hood of your sweater above your head, you waddled over towards the stove, ready to start the food.

"Seriously, this is child labour", you huffed as you grabbed a carton of eggs from the fridge.

"You say that every morning, ducky", Leah snickered once more as she took a seat next to Jordan, following your movements with her eyes.

"Besides, you're an adult now", Jordan added, still scrolling on her phone.

"Yeah, and so are you two! Learn to cook!", you groaned as you threw the empty carton at Jordan's head, not caring too much when the woman protested, threatening to kick you out again. You knew that she wouldn't. She was starving, after all.

It was a few hours later when you were finally headed to Meadow Park, getting ready to start the last fixture of the season. You had slowly but surely made your way into the starting eleven at Arsenal, and had joined the lionesses camp for a couple of friendly matches before the home Euros this summer, which was still looming over your head. Both Leah and Jordan knew that you were in contention to make the squad, and were hopeful that you would join Leah and the rest of the lionesses, but you had great competition, and your call-up wasn't a given. Not yet. The last couple of matches in the Women's Super League, you had given your every bit and piece on the pitch, wanting to keep yourself relevant for the Euro's selection.

Jordan and Leah would do their best to cheer you up if you didn't make it, but they knew that, despite the prospect of getting to spend the summer with Jordan, cheering Leah on, you would be absolutely broken if you didn't make it.

"Hey, ducky, gonna score some bangers?", Katie smiled as you entered the changing room, not even bothering to act offended about your nickname. You had received it after just a few weeks of being at the club, when Katie and Beth had started realizing just how much you followed Leah and Jordan around when you had no clue what else to do, subsequently naming the pair your mother-ducks. Though annoying at first, you quickly grew to accept it, knowing that arguing would not help when it came to this group of women.

"Hopefully", you grimaced as you discarded your slippers. In the past few weeks, you hadn't been up to small talk much. The whole team knew that you wanted this international tournament with England -the home Euros - every footballers dream would be to play in your country, for your country. But they worried anyways. You had always put yourself under a lot of pressure, and while Leah and Jordan knew it was due to the fact that subconsciously, you were doing everything you could to impress your parents, who didn't even seem to follow your career in the slightest, they kept that fact about you hidden carefully from the rest of your teammates, even being unsure of how to speak about the situation to you.

In truth, you had been shocked when your parents had first allowed you to move to London and away from your home in Manchester to pursue a football career. You had been training in the Manchester City Academy for years, devoting yourself entirely to football, but your parents had never taken notice of your efforts, no matter how much you begged and pleaded for them to watch one of your matches.

You'd had to rely on your teammates' parents to bring you to and from training or matches, and the only thing your parents seemed to appreciate was the fact that you were mostly busy - with football or school, either way, away from their house. It was impossible to reason their behavior, to pinpoint an event that made them change the way they saw you. But you didn't have to - your new club, your new home, your new mother-ducks mostly kept you distracted, never allowing you much time to meddle with your thoughts, to get lost in them. Still, it was obvious to Leah and Jordan that while you faced this complicated relationship with your parents, you had never really dealt with it, and it became evident when you injured yourself in today's match.

Jordan had been the one to hook your arm over her shoulder in order to get you to the medical room steadily, without putting any pressure on your knee. She had been the one to hold your hand while the medical staff worked their way in an attempt to find out what exactly caused your pain, but from the way your knee had given into the right when it had collided with that of your opponent, your mind was set - it was an ACL. Nothing Jordan or Leah told you on the way home could change your mind - you were merely waiting for the confirmation that tomorrow's scans would bring - and so you put in your earbuds and drowned their somber voices out of your head, desperate to escape their attempts at soothing you. You didn't need pity, you needed to be back on the pitch. You needed to be at the Euros, needed to play, needed to keep yourself fit. In your mind, though, everything had already gone to shit.

Dismissing the two women who had settled in the living room after Leah's shower, you waddled, as best as you could on your crutches, towards the sink, pouring yourself a glass of water. As you leaned over the countertop to push the emptied glass back, you knocked down one of your crutches, the sound of it connecting to the floor startling Leah and Jordan as their heads turned, all the while you were cursing under your breath. Your knee was throbbing with pain, despite the medication you had been forced to swallow in the medical room of Meadow Park, but you were damned if you'd let Leah, who had already rose from the couch, reach down to the floor to grab it for you.

"I got it", she mumbled as she came up behind you, but you were quick to push her back.

"It's fine", you muttered as you bent your knee painfully slowly, bending over to pick up the stupid crutch from the ground.

"Are you still in pain? Do you want more medication? We've still got-"

"It's fine."

And with that, Leah and Jordan were forced to watch you hop back into your room, shutting the door quite harshly, without knowing what to do with you.

"She's taking this really hard", Jordan mumbled as Leah joined her on the sofa again, snuggling into her side with Jordan's arm wrapped around her shoulder.

"Yeah", the blonde answered, huffing. "You did, too. Anyone would", she sighed. It was the worst possible timing for an injury, but they had no clue that your demeanor was not only a result of frustration, but rather rooted so deeply in a fear that they had no way of understanding. You were so, so scared.

Everybody knew that you were in the most important part of your career - you were young, only eighteen, and tearing your ACL when you'd just began starting for one of the top clubs regularly, just when you'd began making appearances for your nation could ruin absolutely everything you'd worked for. It could send you off the Arsenal roster, could send you right back to your parents' house with no education, a messed up knee and no future. Those thoughts kept you up at night, but no matter how hard you tried to silence your sobs in the soft pillow, you should've known that both Jordan and Leah were light sleepers, and that it was only a matter of time until you had to reveal the mess unfolding in your head.

The time came at round two in the morning. You had been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, no longer able to bear your thoughts and breaking out into violent sobs. Of course, Leah had heard you, and cautiously stepped into the room that had once been yours officially, switching on the light.

The sight of you scared her. In the year you'd spent living with her, and another year of being your teammate, she'd only ever seen you cry with Jordan when she'd injured her knee not long ago, and that was purely because you were an empathic person. This, though - it was different, and she knew.

"Ducky? Hey, what's wrong?", she asked cautiously, voice still thick with sleep as she stepped closer to your bed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

Your voice sliced through the air shakily, hoarse, and so so small. Leah immediately pulled you into her as she lowered herself to the edge of your mattress, holding you closely as your frame shook with sobs.

"What's wrong? Talk to me, please", she begged, gently rocking you back and forth, still minding your knee which was packed with ice.

"I'm scared, Lee", you sobbed, just as the door creaked again and Jordan entered. If you didn't know any better, you would've believed she was sleepwalking, with the way she barely lifted her feet off the floor, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she scanned the room, pinching her eyes at the bright light.

It got the smallest of smiles to glisten on your lips, though it didn't last long.

"Of what?"

Leah asked, seemingly not having noticed her girlfriend in the doorframe.

"I can't- what if I have to leave? What if they get rid of me- what if- I can't go back there, Lee", you sobbed, crying even harder at the realization of just how scared you were. You had hoped that by proving to be a successful athlete, you could restore some of your parents' warmth in you. Showing up at their doorstep with a broken body and crushed dreams certainly was the worst-case scenario. It would rip you apart.

"Ducky, it's okay, calm down", Jordan asked of you, who had, in the meantime, settled by your feet, gently holding her hand out for you to grasp, which you did slowly after Leah released you from her grip.

"Nobody is going to get rid of you. We didn't get rid of Jordan either, look at 'er!", Leah chuckled as she watched her girlfriend shift into a position more comfortable for her own knee, never letting go of your hand.

"Besides, ducky, did you feel a pop in your knee?"

You shook your head. She had asked you this before.

"Did the pain go away after a few minutes?"

You shook your head again.

"Is your knee swollen? Do you feel like you can't move it?"

To all of those questions, you shook your head.

"Then I'll be damned if it's your ACL. You clashed knees, ducky. It's painful, and it's scary, but it's not the end of the world, it's not the end of your career", she hummed, gently lifting a finger to wipe a tear from your cheek.

"Wise words, Jordan. Never thought I'd say that", Leah chuckled, which immediately collected a laugh from you, even if you hadn't thought it possible just a few minutes ago. Jordan shrugged.

"Ducky is wiser than me", she sighed as she sprawled herself on your and Leah's legs, her back resting between your knee and your ankles by the very end of the bed.

"Thanks, guys. Go back to bed", you smiled at the dedication of the two women, seriously questioning where you'd be if it wasn't for them.

"What do you mean? We are in bed!"

And that was how you spent your last night in Leah's home with Jordan present, being pulled into the whirlwind of the Euros and the absolute bliss that came from winning it. Despite the fact that you were only granted a few minutes, usually towards the end of the matches, you were named the "super-sub", and gained quite the following on your social accounts. One thing never came though, and that was a message of your parents. Not even a little "congrats" text, no - instead, there was complete radio silence.

It was easy to forget about it in the afterglow of your win, and how quickly the season started off again. It was easy to forget about a lot of things, apparently, because you only noticed something seemed to be off when Leah glared as you let yourself into her apartment with the key she'd given you.

"Morning", you shouted into the space as you discarded your shoes, as usual, the slightest bit more awake given the fact that you had today off, meaning breakfast omelettes were served a little later than usually.

"Morning, ducky", Leah sighed from the kitchen as you joined her, noticing the lack of mother duck number two.

"Where's Jords?", you asked as you opened the fridge, pulling your hood above your head as usually to remain warmer.

"Not here, obviously", Leah gave back, and at that, you stopped in your tracks. Come to think of it, you hadn't seen Jordan for breakfast for about a week now. So far, Leah had always given you a good enough reason - her parents were in town, she was sick and didn't want to infect you and Leah, she had to take care of Blu.

This, however? Something was sketchy about it. The lack of interaction between your mother ducks during training or matches replayed in your head - how Jordan had stuck to Katie and Caitlin recently, seemingly only conversing with Leah when you were present as well. Something was sketchy.

"Why?", you asked, dragging out your word as you turned around to see Leah sitting at the kitchen table, looking back at you with something resembling defeat in her eyes.

"We broke up", she mumbled, her voice barely audible for you. Still, you understood her.

Her words took you aback, so much so that you completely disregarded your task, joining Leah as you sat across from her. Leah and Jordan had broken up. It all came back to you now - there had been a weird tension in the dressing room recently, but you hadn't noticed it until now that you thought back to it. Leah and Jordan only talked to each other when you were present. The past few breakfasts had been spent listening to you talk and talk and talk in a desperate attempt to hide the gaping hole of disappointment in your parents. Jordan hadn't been here in a week - to watch Blu?

"Why?", you asked, your tone matching hers.

"I don't know. It's complicated."

"When?"

At this point, you were bargaining for any kind of information.

"About a month ago?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

This time, your voice sounded hurt. You trusted Leah and Jordan with everything - opening yourself up completely, and although you knew that you were a lot younger than them, and somewhat like their kid, it hurt you to know that they had not even considered letting you know about this.

"You're still young, ducky. We just thought-"

"Thought what? That I wouldn't notice?"

Leah sighed at that, defeatedly, once more. You immediately regretted your harsh tone, knowing that your mother duck number one was going through a break up right now. If the two of them breaking up seemed impossible to you - how must it have felt for them?

"We just- I don't know. I'm sorry, ducky." Despite the emotions that must have been cursing through her, Leah smiled softly as you pushed yourself up from your chair and into her arms, burying your face in the crook of her neck as you let her rub your back comfortingly.

"Me too, Lee."

Things changed after the breakup, but not really for you. You alternated between Leah's and Jordan's flat, not caring about the both of them whining how hungry they were every other day, instead teaching them how to make an omelette, because it truly was time for them to learn. The two women were, as it seemed, on friendly terms as they still crowded around you whenever either they wanted something or you simply craved the both of their presence.

Jordan returned to the pitch shortly after the Euros, and for a brief lapse of time it truly seemed as if the three of you had fallen into a new routine, a different one, that worked-

That was until Jordan sat you down after practice one day, long after everyone else had left, and told you about her future departure of the club.

"You're leaving?", your tone seemed almost choked as you put your head on Jordan's shoulder cautiously, her words replaying in the back of your head all over again.

"Yeah. It's time for me to move on, to do something new. I'm old, ducky. It's time", she huffed, and you could tell by her tone that she was close to tears as well.

"But you love this club", you voiced, not understanding why Jordan felt the need to leave. Was it Leah? Was it you?

"I know. I do. But I don't get any minutes here, and I want to play football, ducky."

At that, you held your breath. Ever since the Euros, you had become a regular starter for Arsenal. Often in Jordan's position. You had taken her spot.

"I'm sorry, Jords. I didn't mean to-"

"No, ducky. Absolutely not. I will not have you apologize for being great. You are so young, and you deserve this more than anyone I know. You will be incredible for this club, I know it. Don't apologize", she immediately interrupted you, gently brushing her finger through your hair.

"But I took your place", you mumbled, the realization coming in slowly that Jordan wouldn't be here in a few months.

"No, you didn't. You earned your place. Matter of fact, I gave it to you."

You could hear by her tone that she was smiling, and you had to chuckle at her words.

"But you'll visit me, right? And I'll visit you?", you asked cautiously, the thought of not seeing your mother duck again suddenly climbing through your chest.

"You'll visit me, and I'll visit you. And I'll show you how good I'll get at making omelettes. I'm not leaving you, ducky."

The day she actually left the club was easily one of the hardest of your life. Leah's speech had you crying into Jordan's shoulder, and you were too far gone to say any of the words you had written down yourself to send off your mother duck. But you slipped Jordan the note before she left, letting her take you into one last hug before watching her get into her car and drive off.

Throughout the rest of the season, many of the girls joked that you would become an Aston Villa fan, given your dedication to watch every match of theirs, often in person. In the end, you truly found your footing at Arsenal and in the England team, relying on both of your mother ducks immensely whenever you needed to. They were both there for you, no matter what distance separated the three of you, and although you knew it was far more difficult for them, both Jordan and Leah kept their promises, often traveling back and forth for the three of you to see each other again.

[alotofpockets]

Jordan Nobbs Appreciation

woso appreciation masterlist | with @totaly-obsessed

[wileys-russo]

Camera roll as Jordan Nobbs gf please 🥰

POV your camera roll as jordy’s gf;

[chrlvctius]

will never ever get over this:(

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Jordan Nobbs x Reader

Meal for One

In a world of your own staring at the laundry detergent in the cleaning aisle of Tesco you were trying to work out which product was the best value for money. Your mundane weekend activity had numbed your brain not realising how long you’d been staring at the prices and day dreaming that you were somewhere sunny. That was until someone brushed past you to get what they wanted and dragged you back down to earth. Exhausted from the decision, you grabbed whatever looked good and shoved it into your trolley then moved robotically to the freezer aisle - meals for one, they sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself!

*Attention shoppers, we are closing in 10 minutes, please make your way to the checkouts* - came over the tannoy and filled your bones with dread. You barely had five items off your long shopping list in the trolley and now you had to leave. Rushing around to grab the essentials then getting into the queue, eyes barely open and longing to be back on your sofa. Loading your shopping onto the conveyor belt you hurried to place the next person slide out for whoever was behind you. “Thanks, nice shirt by the way” the female voice said. “Thaaanks” your word dragged out as you glanced down to see what you’d thrown on to leave the house today, seeing it was your Aston Villa shirt you decided to strike up a conversation, “you a villains fan too?” you said turning around so your back wasn’t facing them. “Kinda” the woman said as she delved into the bottom of her trolley, jealous of how much shopping she had compared to your ready meals and fabric softener. As she turned back to place her items behind yours “f-fuck me!” you said slightly too loud as people around you glanced in your direction. A one sided smile lit up her face for a second as the realisation hit. “You’re Jordan! As in the-name-on-my-back Nobbs?” you stumbled over your words while turning around to point at your back. It all makes sense now why she said your shirt was nice. “You’ve got good taste!” she laughed, “maybe not in meals though, they look sad” she screwed up her face looking at your frozen box meals. “Oh, yeah I lead a very busy life” trying to play it cool but the facade betrayed you. “Is that right?” she smirked. “No that’s a lie, I can’t cook to save my life” your head bowed, feeling incredibly small as she loaded the belt with actual ingredients rather than something you can shove in a freezer. “Me neither, but I’m trying to learn” the blonde seemed excited about her current venture. “Well yours looks like it’s going to better than mine” you chuckled softly with embarrassment. “I can cook enough for two if you fancy? I need a trial taster”. Your eyebrows furrowed trying to work out if she was serious and said you better go home to put your groceries away, you couldn’t have your meals defrosting.

“Eh-hem” the interruption came from the cashier who just wanted to go home and didn’t have time to listen to you chat any longer. Hurriedly packing your bags so you could pay and move along, as you tapped your phone on the card reader Jordan passed you her number “come as you are” she smiled “see you in about an hour?” Looking at the piece of paper in disbelief you nodded and smiled cautiously as you made your way to the car.

“Well this is awkward!” the same voice called from behind as you loaded your car boot. “Nothing like saying bye to someone then walking in the same direction!” Of course she’d parked next to you, seeing your beat up, run down car that was in desperate need of a wash next to her pristine BMW. Knowing you were going to have to think of something quickly to prolong getting in your car, it was a state inside and out and definitely not going to help your case of convincing her you’re not always a slob, things had just gotten away from your lately.

At home you were still unsure about what actually happened in Tesco, was she being serious, is this really Jordan Nobb’s number? Typing it into your phone, watching your thumbs refuse to move and when they did it was to delete what you’d already written. This went on for twenty minutes - writing, deleting, rewriting, deleting until you settled for a simple “hi 😊” before immediately panicking and sending another without totally thinking it through “it’s sad meal girl btw 😂”. Waiting impatiently for a reply you’d convinced yourself she’d given you a fake number. Fetching one of your meals out the freezer and setting the microwave timer then reaching for the cheap bottle of wine in your fridge.

Your phone pinged before the microwave did, rushing to pick it up to see she’d sent a pin of her address. Switching the microwave off and grabbing the bottle of wine you quickly changed your top, pulled on a coat and headed out the front door, opting to walk rather than take your rubbish filled car. Surprised she lived only a short walk away you wondered how you’d never spotted her in your town before.

“Hey, can I take your coat?” Jordan said as soon as she opened the door, nodding and removing it from your shoulders. “Something smells amazing, do you need any help?” you asked, following her towards the kitchen. Glancing at the menu on her phone she came up with something for you to do. “Err, you could chop the veggies for me, how are you with onions?” You chuckled to yourself, excited to finally try the hack you saw on tiktok once and asked for a saucepan lid, tucking it into your hood. Jordan couldn’t contain her laughter when she spotted what you were doing but congratulated you on the initiative.

“I bought wine, it’s pretty cheap though” you said behind your glass mask meaning Jordan didn’t hear and you had to repeat yourself. “We can just mix it with lemonade it’ll make it taste better” she said getting two glasses out of the cupboard.

Helping you put your coat on she opened the door to see your car wasn’t on the driveway. It was 2am by the time you two had stopped talking; she refused to let you walk home alone and demanded she drive you. Pulling up outside your flat you said your goodbyes, “we should do this again some time, you have my number now” Jordan smiled. You said thank you for the lovely yet surprising evening and made your way to your door. Waiting for you to be safely inside your house, you waved goodbye as you watched her drive away. This had been one of the best days you’d had in a very long time, you were in desperate need of something magical to happen and who knew it would come in the form of Jordan.

[ugotcooneycrossed]

22 gesture prompt w 23 dialogue prompt for jordan nobbs pls

While someone demeans your lover, standing up for them. Either in word, or by physically placing yourself right in front of them as a protective barrier.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe."

side note: i had to google demean i lit rally thot it was a spelling mistake😭

jordan leaving arsenal was a shock to not only you- but all the fans too.

and while you cant deny how much it had paid off- well her joining you at villa was a bonus too. you cant help but focus on what everyone had to say,

seeing all the rude comments- it filled you with an indescribable rage.

reporters have always been the bane of your existence- and you hate just how they know, which buttons to press.

you're in an interview with jordan- you're sat together, thighs touching in a silent comfort.

"so- last game of the season, against arsenal- you must be sad jordan. you left your home club for this?"

jordan is silent for a second- you dont give her the chance to respond- jumping to her defence instead.

"excuse me? who do you think you are?"

he splutters for a second- alarmed by your response.

"well-"

"jordan has been doing amazing here. whatever you're trying to insinuate- shut up. you dont know a thing."

you grab her hand- leaving the room, only stopping in the hall for a second, you bring her into a hug.

"don't worry, i'll keep you safe."

[woso-dreamzzz]

Outburst

Leah Williamson x Jordan Nobbs x Child!Reader

Summary: You want hugs

The breakup with Jordan went fairly smoothly where the feelings were involved. Where it got a bit gritty was with you.

At three years old the travel between London and Birmingham was hard going and you didn't quite understand why you had to do it or why Mummy moved in the first place.

"Come on, bug." Mum tries to feed you, nudging a fork loaded with pasta against your lips. You turn you head away stubbornly.

Arsenal isn't as fun without Mummy here and you refuse to let Mum lighten your mood. So, you stay stubborn and ignore her.

Leah, for her part, is very confused at your change in attitude. She knew that there would be an adjustment period for everyone involved and she knew it would probably hit you the hardest.

But you'd had an attitude with her the whole week as soon as you got back from Jordan's and Leah can't quite work out why. She wondered if she'd been mean or rude to you but she knew that she hadn't so your change in mood is very disconcerting.

She's not getting very far with you so drops the fork and checks the time. There's still a full day of training to get through but Jordan hasn't got any so she's been driving down from Birmingham to pick you up for the week.

Leah sighs deeply at your stubbornness as you push your lunch plate away and sullenly pull at the table cloth.

"She'll come around," Lia says, reaching out to offer some comfort," It's just a hard adjustment."

Leah huffs. "Yeah, I guess so but-Bug! We don't hit!"

It was almost in slow motion that Leah watched you slap Lia's hand where it's holding hers.

"No!" You screech, not paying any attention to your mum as you scream at Lia. "No touching! She's mine! Mine! Not yours!"

You climb from your seat and grab Leah's arms to force them around you in some semblance of a hug.

"Hey," Leah forces her arms away. "No. We don't hit, bug! Say sorry!"

Your bottom lip wobbles as Mum stops hugging you, leaning away from you as she looks at you with a stern expression. "Hugs!" You whine," Hugs for bug!"

"No," Leah corrects," No hugs for bug until you apologise."

Your face turns stormy and your expression mimics Leah's perfectly. "Hugs!" You insist," Hugs! Now!"

"Say sorry," Leah continues," And then say please and you'll get hugs."

"No! Want hugs now!"

Leah squeezes her eyes shut for a moment to draw herself together before she moves. She hoists you up onto her hip and walks you over to the corner. At first, when you think that she's giving in, you go limp but as soon as you see where she's going, you start kicking and hitting.

"No! No! No!"

"Yes," Leah says firmly," We don't hit and we're not rude, especially not to me. Five minutes in the corner and then you can say you're sorry and we can have cuddles."

"No!" You bite out," Don't want cuddles from you! You're mean!"

Leah tries not to take it to heart. She knows that when she's angry she says things in the heat of the moment but you look so certain of yourself and so angry that it looks like you're being serious.

You fight being put in the corner but once you're there, you know to stay and Leah always makes sure to sit closer so you don't feel like you've been abandoned.

"What's going on?"

She hadn't even realised Jordan's arrived until she speaks.

Leah doesn't look away from you. "Bug hit Lia and she's demanding things again when she knows she needs to use her manners. She's having some corner time."

"Leah." Jordan sounds a bit worried. "She's only little. She doesn't understand."

"If she's old enough to hit and demand things then she's old enough to know that being rude and mean has consequences. It's not like I'm overreacting, Jordan."

The look Jordan gives her kind of makes Leah feel like she doesn't agree. In fact, Jordan approaches you, tapping your shoulder to let you know you can turn around.

"Hey there, bug," She says," What's going on?"

"Want hugs!" You yell, looking between her and Leah," Both! Want hugs from both!"

"Hey!" Leah says sternly again," You need to say please!"

You look at her in rage, like you can't believe that she's denying you again. Mummy never denies you cuddles. She's always touching you and giving you kisses and holding your hand.

She never makes you say please.

"Hug!" You turn to Mummy to show Mum what she's supposed to be doing. "Hug! Now!"

"Jordan!" Leah complains when Jordan immediately hugs you.

She rocks you back and forth for a moment and you instantly deflate.

You reach an arm out to Mum. "Hugs, now," You say, infinitely calmer but a lot more determined," Like Mummy."

"Bug," Leah says," You have to say please."

"Leah," Jordan interrupts," Just give her a hug. She'll stop screaming if you hug her."

Leah shifts closer but doesn't hug you. "You need to say sorry to Lia," She says again," Because it's rude to hit."

You huff. "Lia's not family," You respond," Doesn't need to be touching you."

"What?"

You shuffle out of Jordan's arms but take care to keep holding one of her hands. "Don't need to touch you," You insist. You grab Leah's hand and she lets you because you're trying to explain your feelings and she doesn't want you to be discouraged and shut down like earlier this week.

You pull Leah's hand and connect it to Jordan's, wrapping around both of them so they can't pull away.

You seem proud of yourself, puffing out your chest. "Hugs now!"

"Hey, wait, no," Leah says quickly," Manners, bug. We've talked about this."

"Mummy doesn't make me use manners when I want cuddles." You shrug. "Just have to want one."

Jordan, at least, has the sense to look a bit embarrassed.

Leah never likes to critique Jordan's parenting skills. She's a great mum but there are things that tend to grind Leah's gears. It's not that she thinks that she's better or her way is best (Leah knows that she's not the perfect parent) but giving in to your every want when you're being rude about it is one thing that really annoys her.

"It makes her happy," Jordan defends," And it saves all the tears and tantrums."

"Jordan," Leah groans," She can't just demand everything."

"Leah," Jordan says back," You haven't even scratched the surface of her tantrums. She's always been your perfect little angel." There's a hint of bitterness in Jordan's tone that makes Leah feel a bit bad.

She's right, of course. Before the breakup, you were nothing short of a little angel for Leah, following her like a shadow and lavishing in her company. Jordan had always had to work a little bit harder to gain your approval, even going back as far as the day your care worker brought you home to them.

Leah sighs deeply and pulls you a little closer.

"Bug," She says, a lot gentler than earlier," You need to go and apologise for hitting Lia." You make a face but Leah continues on. "Thank you for explaining with your big girl words but I think big girls like you understand when they've been a bit naughty."

You nod sullenly, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

"And then, if you still want cuddles, you need to say please, okay?"

You shake your head. "No! 'Cause Mummy's here now! Can't have Mum cuddles!"

Leah and Jordan exchange confused looks.

"Why can't we cuddle now Mummy's here?"

"'Cause I've got to go home with Mummy! Can't cuddle with you if I'm with Mummy!"

You look close to tears, tears of sadness rather than the tears of anger earlier.

Leah's face softens. "But do you still want cuddles with me?"

"Please!"

"Okay," Leah says," Here's what we're going to do. Mummy's going to take you over to Lia and get your lunch. You're going to say you're sorry for hitting Lia and then we'll all sit down together, have some cuddles, finish your lunch and we'll get you on your way with Mummy. How does that sound?"

You nod. "Yes, Mum."

"Okay." Leah presses a soft kiss to your temple. "Let's get started then."

[samkerrworshipper]

she’s on the run

beautiful girl series part 4 -> pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

leah williamson x daughter reader, jordan nobbs x daughter reader

this was created whilst i listened to so long, london and florida!!!!

You waited until Leah had fully descended the stairs, waiting patiently until you heard Lia and her talking in the kitchen before you started to creep off of your bed and towards your open window. It was a easy climb, one you’d made hundreds of times, you hardly batted an eyelid as you climbed out of the window, your legs swinging out and over until they hit the tiling of the roof. After that it was a simple jump from the roof too the gravel drive way, your only concern was trying to be as quiet as possible, so instead of jumping as normal, you stepped to the edge of the tiles, being ever so careful to make sure that you didn’t slip and fall. Once you got to the edge you sat down, scooting until your feet were hanging over the edge, turning onto your stomach and sliding down until your feet found one of the tresses on the side.

It was a odd form of rock climbing but with some arm strength and dodgy footing, you managed to eventually get your feet onto the gravel of your moms driveway.

You didn’t look backwards as you tiptoed across the driveway, the only think you focused on was turning your location off before starting to jog away from your mom’s house.

You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew that you needed to get far enough away that your moms friends who crowded all of the surrounding neighbourhoods couldn’t find you, you needed a way out of here.

You didn’t have a lot of options, and the options you did have were shitty, but there wasn’t really any others that would work.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket as you rounded the corner of the block, ducking into the first alleyway that you spotted.

There were a couple of numbers that were options, some better than others, you went with the first one that came to head.

The phone rings out for a few seconds, your fingers jitter against the sides of your plastic case, whether you feel prepared to admit it or not, you’re going through withdrawals, it’s around now that you’re body is accustomed to shooting up, to getting a hit of drugs and right now it’s becoming more obvious by the minute how desperate your body is for that high that your body is used to receiving.

Maya had become the older sister that you never had, she cared about you, she treated you with more care and love then anybody else in your life, there wasn’t really any hesitation in your mind as you pressed down on her contact, the ringing noise being the only thing to register in your mind.

It rang out for a while, before your phone went silent for a few seconds.

Originally, you thought that it had rung out, but then there was a groan and something else from the other side of the phone.

“Babygirl?”

You don’t know where the nickname had come from, but along the way it had just become the way that Maya had chosen to address you.

“Hey, I need your help, where are you?”

You heard some rustling, and then Maya’s voice.

“I’m still at Matt’s house, what’s happened?”

Fuck. Fuck.

Matt was a problem, but he was one of the only people who could solve your main problem right now, that was all that was at the forefront of your mind.

“Mom found out about the drugs, she took them off me. I’m crashing, can you come get me?”

More rustling, then someone talking in the background.

“Fuck, kid. I’m gonna come get you alright, we’ll get you to Matt’s house and he’ll look out for you, it’s gonna be okay, we’ll look after you, I always look out for my girls.”

More rustling, accompanied by more background talk.

“Just send me your location alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You nod your head, taking in the information and finding that your hands and body seem to relax with the knowledge that there is a resolution coming.

“Okay, okay, thank you, thank you, I love you.”

Maya’s like you, or at least you try to tell yourself that. She’s never had anyone who loved her, she’s all by herself. That’s what you tell yourself, that nobody’s ever loved you, that you’re all alone, she tells you the same. That nobody will love you like a good high, that your all alone, that you always will be. To start with, you thought it was all nonsense, that to her you were just a means of getting money, but after hearing it enough, after realising the truth behind her words, you thought it must be true, she was older than you, she’d seen more of the world than you had.

You stayed hunched over in the alleyway, ignoring the buzzing on your phone that meant your mother had realised you were gone. You felt a pang of compassion in your heart, just briefly. You didn’t want to worry her, you didn’t want to think about the anguish that would have crossed Leah’s face when she’d returned to your bedroom to find it empty, even worse if it was Jordan.

Consciously, you didn’t care, not really, all you cared about was the fucking high that you were missing out on. But the eight year old version of you, somewhere in the lowest pit of your heart felt horrifically bad.

It took fifteen minutes of you being hunched against a brick wall, hiding from the view of the street, shaking and shivering before you were hit with the light of headlights, coming from the end of the alleyway.

You stayed hidden, just in case it was your mother or somebody else, staying crouched down behind a bin.

“Babygirl, let’s go.”

You stood up properly, your body straightening out and beginning to walk towards the far to bright white lights.

You sat down in the passenger seat, closing the door behind you as swiftly as possible.

Maya captured you in a hug before you could do anything, her arms wrapping around your neck and torso.

“I’m so proud of you, you’re in good care, I’ll look out for you, me and Matt and the girls, you’re in good company.”

You nodded your head against her shoulder, slowly pulling yourself from her embrace.

Her pupils were dilated, your brain didn’t consider the danger behind her being high, more jealous that she was riding on a happy cloud that you were craving to be on.

The drive felt longer than it should have, your phone buzzed relentlessly the whole way there, it took everything in you not to look down and block the numbers that you knew were ringing, but you didn’t have it in you.

You didn’t like the feeling that hit your gut when you rolled up to the same house that you’d stumbled out of a couple nights ago, you loved Maya, you loved drugs, what you didn’t love was the overwhelming fear that you felt at having to face the same man who had done those horrible things to you days ago. Maya must have noticed, or seen something was up with you.

“Something wrong, darlin?”

She was 23, closer to your Mom’s age then yours, she cared about you.

“Matt, he didn’t want money for the drugs, he wanted something else.”

You expected, or you hoped that Maya would be shocked, but she wasn’t, not in the slightest.

“I think you’ll find babygirl that your body is the most powerful form of payment, men will do anything for a woman’s body, it’s good you learn that young. Matt provides a lot, drugs, care, a house, give him what he wants and he’ll treat you well.”

You stuttered on your words.

“W-what if I don’t want it?”

Maya put her hand on your cheek, squeezing firm enough to make it sting slightly.

“There is no such thing as not wanting it. We’re primal, we crave to be touched and wanted, he’s just teaching you that. It’s an eye for an eye. You get your high, he gets what he wants. It works out for everyone. He’s just trying to keep you safe, just trying to make you feel loved, it’s the only kind of love there is.”

In your core, in your brain, you know it’s untrue, Maya believes in what she’s saying though, or at least she appears to.

“Now c’mon, let’s get you upstairs, get you some artificial assistance.”

She pats you on the shoulder, before opening up the door on her side of the car and stepping out. You let go of the breath that you’d been holding in. Maya is like your big sister, she cares about you, she would never intentionally hurt you, she’s the only person who really gives a shit about you.

You open the car door without much more hesitation, having convinced yourself that she’s right, and more that once you shoot up that your brain will quiet down and all of your doubts will be silenced.

Maya leads you into the house, it’s a lot emptier than it was the other day, a lot less people sprinkled across all of the surfaces, instead there are a few girls and Matt, who’s right in the middle of all of them.

“Pretty girl, didn’t think I’d see you back so soon.”

He’s voice is drawling, slightly tilted.

You didn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t come off as rude, so you simply smiled at him, as well as you could considering the bile that was in your stomach just at the thought of the man in front of you.

“She got kicked out, needed some place to go, I told her there is always room for her here.”

Matt nodded and smiled, his hands were all over the women around him, you tried your hardest to keepy your eyes on his face and not the company he was keeping.

“Of course, I look out for my girls. You craving pretty girl? You need something?”

You nodded your head, hopefully, you were desperate, the emotional nature of what you’d just been through with your mother enough to be slowly pushing you towards the edge.

“Maya take her upstairs, the speed is in my bedside draw, I’ll be up in a bit.”

Maya smiled and nodded, grabbing you by the shoulder and pushing you towards the same stairs you’d stumbled down just a few days ago.

You tried not to feel completely daunted as you were tugged upstairs, your shaky legs carrying you the distance to the bedroom that you’d been in less than twenty for hours ago.

It was the same position, same place, same everything.

It was hard not to feel completely terrified.

Maya led you over to the bed, sitting you down whilst she rustled in the bedside table.

It was silent, calm, as peaceful as you could feel in your current situation, until your phone started buzzing again.

“Answer it, let them know you’re fine.”

You looked ay Maya like she was crazy, she sure seemed it.

“Excuse me?”

Maya looked up from her spot rustling through the drawer.

“They’ll leave you alone if you answer, let them know you’re fine and not dead in a ditch somewhere.”

You gulped, pulling your phone out of your pant pocket and looking at the flashing contact of your mom, your finger hesitating over the green button before clicking on it.

“Bubba? Bubba? Jord, she answered, I’ve got her.”

The exhale of relief that you heard leave your mom’s lips was one of pure happiness.

“Mom, please don’t ahte me, please don’t hate me.”

You could always deal with the thought or realisation that your mom didn’t love you, but having her hate you, it would do things to you that you couldn’t handle.

“Bubba where are you? I don’t hate you, I could never hate you, I love you so much bubba. Just let me know where you are, we’ll come get you, we’ll sort this out.”

Your mom sounded more desperate than you’d ever heard her.

“I’m okay mom, I’m okay, I’m safe.”

Another exhale of relief.

“Look bubba, all your aunties are out looking for you, me and Jord have been worried sick, just let me know where you are, please. I’m so worried about you bubba, look, just come home, we can figure out the drug stuff, me and mama will get you all the help you need, we’ll make it all better, just come home.”

It had been hardly two hours since you’d slipped out of your window, you didn’t want to know how stressed your mom would have gotten had it been six or twelve.

“Mom I know I did wrong, trust me, I know. But you want me to go to rehab, you want me to get better, and trust me I want it, but I can’t do it, please.”

You heard something being dropped and then a button being pressed.

“Chick, listen to me, your mom and I are worried sick, you need to come back home. We’ll sort it all out, we’ll get you the help you need, but you need to come home, just tell us where you are.”

The feeling of the rubber tourniquet being tied to your upper arm and a needle prodding at your vein distracted you slightly.

“Look mom, I’m in good company, I’m safe, I love you both but I can’t do rehab, I can’t do getting better, I’m not ready, I’m not strong enough for that, I’m not like you and mom, I can’t be strong and brave, I can’t tough it out when it gets hard. I just need you to love me from a distance and understand that I’m doing whats best for me.���

Maya looks on proudly, it feels like your saying things to appease her and that makes you feel good, the validation of having her smile at you and nod her head at you, it wasn’t love but it was something close, the closest you felt in a while.

“Bubba, listen to me. You are so strong, everything you’ve been through in your life, it’s nothing in comparison to this. You don’t need the drugs, you don’t. This isn’t you bubba.”

You think that deep down, Leah and Jordan have no idea who you are anymore. The injection into your bloodstream only solidifies those thoughts.

“This is me mom, this is who I am now. I was like you and jord’s perfect little child, your perfect girl but that’s not me anymore. I’m not the same kid, this is me.”

You swore you heard a sob, or sniffle from the other side of the line.

“Bubba, we’ll sort this out, just come back home, please.”

You shook your head, enjoying the feeling of your blood circulating the drugs that had just hit your system.

“I can’t do that mom’s, I love you, and I’m so grateful for you but I can’t come home, I just can’t mom, bye.”

Before either of them could reply to you, you pressed down on the hang up button, throwing your phone to the end of the bed and leaning back, letting the high begin to sink in.

The bed sunk down next to you, Maya’s arm snaking around your waist.

“Good job babygirl, I’m proud of you, you’ve got me, I’ll look out for you, I look out for all of my girls.”

If you were sane, you’d probably ask yourself the question of what kind of person looked out for their people by giving them drugs and subjecting them to sexual assault, but with the drugs running through your veins and the relief starting to hit your brain, you couldn’t find you in it to care.

“Feels good.”

Maya brought your head to her neck, it was warm, happy, nice.

“I know babygirl, feels so good doesn’t it?”

You nod your head, the bliss starting to really get to you, your whole body feeling the affects of it.

Everytime you get high you think it’ll last forever, that the overwhelming numb happiness will last permanently. Every time you shoot up, you think that maybe it’ll all get better, that the feeling you’ve been searching for, will finally set in. It doesn’t though.

You come to the conclusion that it must be a more pure solution, or more concentrated because it’s getting to your head a lot quicker than normal.

You don’t even notice when Matt slips into the room, too busy processing the overwhelming feeling of the drugs rushing through you. It’s good, it feels good, until the bed dips on the other side of you and a hand is on your waist.

Your body is too numb to try and fight back, even if you had the energy or will to, you doubt you’d be strong enough.

There are words being spoken around you, hands all over your body.

You can’t open your eyes, can’t even try to understand what is happening to you.

You bite down on your lip, as your pants are tugged down.

You dissasociate it, disassociate the hands on you, dissasociate the feeling of being violated, enjoy the fact that the mixture of the drugs in your system and pain coming from your lip manage to be enough to distract from the pain being inflicted on you.

It’s primal, it’s an eye for an eye, it’s a form of payment.

Some time during the process, you drift off, whether it’s from the drugs or pain you aren’t sure, you just know that the sweet mixture of the meth seems to be enough.

You wake up with an arm around you, your silently terrified to open your eyes and find out who, but you’re also in pain and a little bit too curious for your own good. You’re grateful that the hands are Maya’s, it’s a small win. Your head is still dazed, it feels good, but you’re itching for something, itching for more.

“Hey babygirl.”

It’s light outside, it has of been a couple of hours and based on the pain between your legs you don’t want to know what’s happened in the couple of hours you’ve been unconscious.

“You feeling a bit better?”

You nod your head, focusing in on the daze and not the itch across your body and the pain your experiencing.

“You’ve been such a good girl for Matt and I, doing exactly how we pleased, we’re so proud of you.”

It’s the kind of praise you’ve been searching for months. Growing up, for your mom’s, you’d always been the perfect child, a pathological people pleaser. You’d always been told you were independent, in the end though it had all just been loneliness. You grew up to quickly, from the moment you were in foster care, passed around like a piece of trash, there was no option but for you to be lonely. Then you moved in with Jordan and Leah, and they had each other, you were still alone. You didn’t allow for yourself to make mistakes, you had a chance with them, if you were anything less than perfect then how could they want you? You were a student, a star athlete, polite, a perfectionist to your core. You took on all of the burden during the breakup, you were there for both of your mom’s through it all, yet you were the one who was always at the brunt of their anger and discontent. You weren’t worthy of their love, not when the perfect child stopped being perfect because of the pressure, because of the self-hatred that had manifested inside of you since the first people to show you love had broken apart, leaving you empty on the inside.

You blamed yourself for a lot of it, Leah and Jordan had been fine before you, it was like as soon as you entered their life it was just a ticking time bomb, you wrecked everything, you were a semi truck that drove through people, pulled everyone and everything in it’s way a part.

Maya knew how it felt, she’d broken people a part, she knew what it felt like to be all alone, she’d taught you that it was okay, that it was okay to be lonely.

She cared about you, she understood you, she wanted you.

“More, need more.”

She looked into your eyes and you felt understood, like she knew exactly what you were going through and knew how to patch up and fix all of your problems.

“Alright babygirl, just give me a second and we’ll get you juiced up, huh? You deserve it, you’ve been such a perfect girl for us.”

Maya removed her body from yours, reaching over to the bedside table, rummaging through it the same way she did last night.

Your body was still vibrating with the endorphins, the dopamine was filling your head, replacing everything in you that felt dead and broken, it felt so good, it was the feeling that you craved, the reason that you’d given everything else up, because it made you feel more content and fulfilled then anything else.

You were scared of losing it, scared of losing touch with the feeling that you were relying on.

You craved her praise, craved the drugs, craved the nothingness that came from having everything around you turn into nothing, all of the feelings, all of the struggle, all the pain and suffering turned into dust.

It was what made your life worth living, without the high you didn’t think your life would even remotely worth living for, you had nothing, you had nobody, you were alone.

Maya was quicker with her mannerisms, she knew what she was doing.

You’d never seen her do needles before the last twenty four hours, but you also weren’t that shocked. She had the tracks along her arms, the attitude that seemed like she could. She was the one who’d introduced you to drugs, it had started with a bit of pot, then coke, then heroin, then any pill that you could find and eventually, speed.

You’d been tentative at first, speed was more addictive than any other drug, speed did bad things to a body, methamphetamines were a druggies worst enemy. You’d met cokeheads and some of the most addicted heroin junkies and yet plenty of them had told you that they would never touch meth, that it was too intoxicating.

Meth took control of a persons body, penetrated the system faster than most drugs, meth got into your head, it changed a person for the worse.

You wanted that though, you were seeking for that. You were seeking for something to take control of you, something to change you, something to change the way your brain was wired.

It felt so good, you’d never been into needles either, avoided them like they were the plague, but with the plastic tourniquet strapped onto your arm and the cold point of the needle pressing against your inner arm.

It was the best feeling in the world, the best feeling known to man.

You felt like you were on the peak of Mount Everest, like you were unstoppable.

It was the same feeling you’d once gotten from just being in a room with your moms, the same feeling you’d gotten after a good game of football, the same feeling you’d gotten out of getting a good mark back on a test.

A while ago, a time that you don’t like to think about anymore, it all came naturally. Your body did hunger for that kind of attention because it received it naturally, it didn’t have to worry about when the next burst of serotonin would come. You didn’t have to create your own sensation, like you do now, you didn’t have to put yourself on a constant calendar to keep yourself sane, to make sure that you stayed happy enough to stay alive.

You didn’t think about the fact that you’d shot up a couple of hours ago, that you’re body was only just now learning to absorb intravenous drugs, that you were more dosed up then you had been in your entire life and now you were adding gasoline to the fire inside of you, you didn’t care, all you wanted was for this feeling to keep lasting, for the pain in your stomach from everything that you knew had happened but couldn’t recollect to be numbed by the drugs that you were craving.

You felt alive when the needle pressed into your arm, it made you feel like you were unstoppable, enlightened, like nothing could stop you. It was a strak contrast to how you felt when you were sober, when you were sober, you felt like the weight of the world was resting on your shoulders, that you were responsible for all the people that were around you and if you failed them then you were no better than the little traumatised girl that had been handed to your moms all those years ago.

You tried to ignore the odd chest pain that set in as the drugs mixed in with your blood, or tried your very best at least, it was hard though, when the initial pain started to turn into a skin splitting sensation you tried your best to pay no mind to it.

It was odd, you figured it might be a new effect you were unearthing, needles gave a different high in comparison to your normal, it was understandable that their would be different effects.

For the first time though, in a long time, you weren’t overcome with the near overwhelming relief that normally flooded you, the pain in your chest was to strong, instead of your heart slowing, your pain subsiding and all the thoughts quieting down, it felt like you were going into overdrive, hyperaware of everything that resided inside of you. Your chest was hurting, your heart was beating at a abnormally fast pace and your brain hurt, like it was rattling around inside of your head, bruising the inside of your skull and cracking it into pieces as every second passed.

“Maya, maya.”

It was a croak, yourr eyes being forced open as you took sharp, short breaths.

“You’re okay babygirl, deep breaths, it’ll feel good any minute.”

Except it wasn’t feeling good and it was feeling worse as every second passed. Your skin was prickly, hot and red and burning all over, your heart felt like it was beating faster than it had ever before and everything about how you were feeling felt so inexplicably wrong.

“Not good, not good, not good.”

Maya’s hand was on your face, patting at you like you were a dog, like you were a pet to her.

“Ride it out, you’ve got it babygirl, it’ll pass.”

It wasn’t passing though, it wasn’t, nothing about how you felt was passing at all.

You could feel your control of your body start to fade, you didn’t understand how or why, you didn’t understand what was happening, you knew though that whatever this was, whatever you’d taken or been given, it wasn’t good. It felt like poison inside of you, slowly taking control of every thing inside of you, like something was eating you up from the inside, as every moment surpassed.

You wanted to think that it was going to be fine, that you were just experiencing some kind of heightened high from the buildup in your system, but there was something overwhelmingly odd and wrong about how you felt, it was real, realer than any drugs had made you feel.

Drugs were artificial, and they made you feel artificially happy, or numb, somewhere between those two. Drugs had never made you feel real and tangible, like you were more of a human than anybody else, but right now, you felt more personified then you ever had, like you were so synched with your body that it was too much, too much feelings, too much pain, to much of everything.

You struggled to get out anymore words, between the feeling of your heart beating the speed of light and your chest being too tight for any oxygen to enter your airway.

You supposed she got the message when your body started to shake, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your body struggled to cope.

You heard her scream, felt her pick up your body, in blinks of your eyes you made out the staircase, the entryway, Matt in your line of sight.

You get traded into his arms, arms that make you feel tense and uncomfortable, something your body seems to react to because the tremors or seizures, or whatever the fuck your experiecing only worsens.

You blink in and out of consciousness as you’re taken from the house, into the backseat of somebody’s car, Maya and Matt seated in the front, murmuring to each other as you violently shook in the backseat, your consciousness fading as your body became less connected to you.

You weren’t sure where you were going, where drug addicts thought it was a good idea to take a person fucked up out of their minds, you hoped it wasn’t back to your mothers, or rehab, you seriously doubted the latter considering that two addicts themselves were more likely to take you to a fucking graveyard instead of rehab.

You knew neither of them were talking to you, just talking between the two of them, you hoped they were getting you some kind of help, that the two of them would stick by you and find you some help, Maya loved you, Maya was the only person who cared, she would get you help, she would stop this feeling, she would fix it.

You couldn’t see, you couldn’t control your body, you couldn’t feel any sensations across your skin beside the burning created by the lack of oxygen being circulated throughout you. It was like the drugs were slowly infiltrating every part of you, that the veins which mapped out your body underneath your skin were being pumped full of the toxic substance that you’d been so desperate to fill yourself with.

It must have been a bad reaction, or something you’d taken was laced, probably with fentanyl or something that was mixing badly, fentanyl was renowned for being one of the worst things to combine with meth, opioids and stimulants were bad together, it was probably the two forms mixing together inside of you, creating a horrible chemical concoction of reactions inside of you.

You couldn’t keep yourself awake for most of the car ride, there were patches of consciousness, patches where your eyes would open just for them to close once again.

You were awake when the car stopped, not awake enough to catch a glimpse of where you’d stopped at but awake enough to hear the car engine turn still on. The passenger door opened, then footsteps, then the backseat door beside you opened.

Maya picked you up, or at least that’s who you thought had your arms around you, your eyes were forced shut so you didn’t have any confirmation.

A few steps were taken, fast ones, and then she was squatting like she intended to put you down, and then she did.

You didn’t know how or why or where, you just knew that it was cold, there was rain drizzling down on your face, your body was shaking more than ever and you could hear the footsteps getting further and further away from you, then the sound of a car door being opened and shut and the car pulling away.

You were in agony, there was no other way to put it.

You’d been abandoned before, it was nothing new for you, it only reinforced the idea that you were simply incapable of keeping people in your life, nobody wanted you long term, you weren’t made for long term love, you were like a toy to a child. Fun and entertaining for a short amount of time, before you were forgotten and then eventually, thrown away.

You passed out before you could think more about the toy comparison, cold, alone and forgotten.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

favourite little buddy | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: the day buddy was born and monkey met her favourite little buddy for the very first time

double the trouble masterlist

The days leading up to Buddy’s birth felt like an eternity and your anticipation was almost tangible. You were practically vibrating with excitement, counting down the moments until you could finally meet her.

“When will she be born? It feels like it’s been forever!” You exclaimed one morning as you were eating your breakfast before school, your impatience growing with each passing day.

“Not for a while yet, little one,” Jordan told you, her smile showing both amusement and patience, “She’s comfy in there.”

“I can’t wait to meet her!” You replied, your eyes shimmering with eagerness.

“She knows your voice,” Leah chimed in, a tender smile on her face as she rested her hand on her swollen belly, “She kicks every time you speak.”

“She does? Wow!” Your face lit up in awe, “Can she hear me now?”

“Uh huh,” Leah agreed as smiled faintly and gestured for your hand to rest on her bump, “Can you feel that?”

“Whoa! That’s so cool!” You exclaimed, her eyes widening as you felt the strong kick behind your hand, “I can’t believe she’s kicking me!”

“Wait until she’s born,” Jordan teased you, “You won’t be saying it when she’s old enough to kick you during an argument.”

“She wouldn’t!” You protested with a grin and shook your head.

Leah glanced at the time on the clock, “Right, come on you, time for school.”

“Aw, man. Already? Do I have to go?” You whined, hopeful that you wouldn’t have to go in.

“Yes you do,” Leah couldn’t help but laugh at your theatrics.

“I don’t want to go—what if something happens while I’m not there?” You pleaded, your eyes wide with concern, “Can’t I just miss it, just this once?”

“Nope,” Leah replied firmly in disagreement, “Nothing will happen today and you’re not missing out on school, Monkey. It’s important,”

“Only a nerd like you can think that,” You huffed in annoyance.

“I’ll try and not take that personality,” Leah quipped, pursing her lips and shaking her head, “Go to school, the day will be over before you know it. The baby isn’t going to make her arrival today, she still has quite a few more weeks to go.”

Of course Leah was adamant to ensure you attended school and kept up with everything there to not fall behind.

You pouted in protest, “Urgh, fine, alright. If you really insist that I go.”

“I do insist,” Leah confirmed, laughing at your dramatic eye roll, “Now go before you’re late.”

“Exactly, we still have to beat traffic,” Jordan chimed in as she took note of the time, “Come on, the sooner you get to school then the sooner you’ll be finished and able to get them new football boots, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about them!” Your eyes lit up in excitement at the prospect of shiny new boots, “But you know I wouldn’t have a problem being late to school still.” You murmur, a cheeky grin taking over your face.

“I think not,” Leah tutted, firmly, “School. Go. Now!” She told you, pointing her index finger at you.

“Urgh, fine,” You sulked dramatically and reached to grab your backpack off the floor beside the kitchen table before you moved back to say goodbye to the baby, “Buh-bye, my favourite little buddy. I’ll see you when I’m home from hell, and maybe give Le a kick for making me go–”

“Monkey!” Leah scolded, though her smile betrayed her amusement.

“I’m only kidding!” You laughed, waving over your shoulder, “Geesh, relax a little. You’re so… tense,” You teased her, cheekily.

“I’m doin’ just fine other than dealing with a cheeky monkey like you,” Leah remarked, amused at your antics, “Stop stalling or you’ll be really late for school.”

“Fine, alright,” You grumbled in disagreement, “I’m goin’ now, but ugh, it’s such a drag!” You added, dramatically.

Jordan smiled, shaking her head, “What’s she like, eh? I’ll be back as soon as I have dropped her off,” She paused, “Love you.” She pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Love you too,” Leah replied, smiling, “And you, Menace, be good and don’t get into any trouble! We don’t want another phone call from the school.”

“Please, I’m an angel at school,” You said, acting innocent as you tossed your backpack over your shoulder.

“Uh huh, says the phone call that we had with your head of year just last week,” Leah reminded you, raising her eyebrow.

“That man doesn’t like me very much,” You muttered under your breath.

“Right, come on, little one,” Jordan guided you out in the direction of the front door, “School awaits.” She joked with you, nudging you gently.

“Hey kid,” Kim smiled warmly as you climbed inside of her car, “Good day at school?” She asked.

The following afternoon you were more than confused when Kim picked you up from school instead of Jordan like planned, you were meant to go and pick up new football boots with the older woman so needless to say the unexpected arrival of the Scottish woman caught you off guard.

“Where’s Jord?” You asked, jumping straight to the point as you buckle your seatbelt in.

Kim’s smile wavered slightly, “She’s at the hospital with Leah,” She paused, “Amanda is there with them as well.”

“Why?” You asked, confused as you tilt your head to the side, “Wait, is the baby coming already!?” You gasped in realisation.

“Yeah, she is,” Kim replied in agreement, her eyes softening.

Your eyes widened as fear gripped your chest, “But it’s too early! Can we go to the hospital?” You asked urgently, your voice trembling.

“It’s going to be okay, the doctors there know what they’re doing,” The Scottish woman tried to reassure you, “Leah and the baby are both in safe hands.” She added.

“Can we go there now? Please?” You pleaded, needing to be there to see them both and make sure they’re okay.

The Scottish woman nodded in agreement, “We’re heading there now.”

As you and Kim sped towards the hospital, the world outside the car seemed to blur as each minute dragged on longer than the last. You could barely even sit still, the anxiety gnawing at you with each passing second as you worried about them both.

When you finally arrived, the sterile hospital corridors stretched out like a never-ending maze. Your heart pounded in your chest, the beeping monitors and hushed voices adding to the anxiety that had settled in your bones. 

The whole lift ride up to the ward felt like it took forever, making you want to scream in frustration– You had no idea if the baby had been born yet, nor if Leah was okay either.

“Jordan’s going to come meet us to show us to the hospital room,” Kim explained, walking through the hospital with you.

Just like that on queue, you spotted the older woman and bolted towards her, “Jordy!” You shouted aloud, crashing into her arms, “Where’s Le? Has the baby been born yet? I thought there was still time!” You fired question after question at her.

“Whoa, slow down there little one,” Jordan chuckled, wrapping her arms around your smaller body, “You’re just full of beans today, huh? Don’t tell me you’ve been eating sweets on the way here.” She joked, ruffling your hair.

Grumbling in protest, you were quick to swat her hand away from touching your hair, “Get off,” You whined impatiently, “Where’s Le?” You repeated, eager to see her.

“She’s upstairs on the ward with Amanda and our baby girl,” Jordan told you, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder as she smiled and turned to look in Kim’s direction, “Thanks for picking her up and bringing her here, Kim. We’re both very grateful.”

“No problem at all,” Kim replied, smiling and waving her hand off like it’s not a problem, “How are they both doing?” She wondered, curiously.

“Great, yeah! Le has been an absolute trooper throughout,” Jordan told your Captain honestly with a genuine smile that reached from ear to ear, “And baby girl is just perfect, honestly. She’s so tiny, but I can already see us both in her so much!”

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Wait, you mean that’s already been born?” You pause, trying to understand what happened, “But… But I thought it was too soon, I thought she had weeks– That’s what you told me earlier!” You rambled, frantically.

“Hey, hey, calm down. It’s okay,” Jordan turned to face you to stop you from continuously worrying, “Baby girl was just impatient to meet us but she’s okay, honestly, she’s attached to some wires so they can monitor her in the Nicu that will help her, but she’s already striving.”

“She’s really okay?” You ask wearily, concerned about the whole aspect of her being born far earlier than she should have been.

“Yes, she’s really okay,” Jordan reassured you, nodding in confirmation, “Do you want to come and meet her now?”

Nodding fast in agreement, you break out in a beaming smile in excitement to meet the baby you’ve been anticipating for several months, “Duh, yes of course I do!”

“Right, come on then you,” Jordan chuckled and led the way back upstairs to the hospital ward where Leah and baby girl were, along with Amanda.

“I’m so excited to meet her– What does she look like? Is she tiny?” You couldn’t help but ramble as you take the ride up in the lift to get to the hospital ward, “Does she have Le’s frown?” You asked, giggling to yourself.

“She’s very tiny,” Jordan replied in agreement as the two of you enter the private ward that Leah is on with the new baby.

“Someone sounds very excited to meet the baby,” Amanda chimed in, smiling in amusement as you had heard most of the loud chatter from down the hallway, “Hi sweetheart. How are you doing?” She questioned.

“Hi, Amanda!” You exclaimed, beaming as you zipped past her towards Leah’s bed, “Le!” You threw your arms around her.

“Hey! There’s my girl,” Leah murmurs, giving you a slightly loopy smile thanks to the gas and air she’d been given to cope with the process of the labour, “Good day at school?”

“Ugh, nope. We had to do one of them dumb maths mock exams!” You grumbed, slumping against the bed, “It was the worst, I couldn’t even understand none of the questions– See? Told you I shouldn’t have it today. I can’t believe you made me go in, after all!”

Leah chuckled in amusement, “It’s your last year of school, so it’s important that you attend.”

“Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, but you know how much school sucks! I could’ve been doing literally anything else. I still have a ton of Marvel films to catch up on,” You rambled, not stopping for a single second to draw breath, “I still haven’t watched Deadpool!”

“Oh, how will you cope?” Leah teased, ruffling your hair playfully as she listened to you become a sudden chatter-box right in that very minute compared to your usual quietness you used to have when you moved in with them, “Right, so do you want to meet your new baby sister then, eh?”

“Yes!” You nodded, enthusiastically, “Yes, of course I do! I can’t wait to meet her. Where is she?” You’re carried away with your rambling, to not even notice the small baby nestled against Leah.

“She’s right here,” Leah whispered, tilting her chin to the tiny, delicate bundle snuggled against her chest. Your breath caught as you took in your new sister for the first time, her tiny fingers wrapped around Leah’s pinky.

Jordan moved to settle down on the bed beside Leah, wrapping an arm around her protectively, "Monkey, meet your new baby sister." She introduced her to you, with a gentle smile plastered on her face.

“Whoa,” You murmur quietly, afraid that if you spoke loud enough then you would startle the tiny baby nestled on Leah’s chest, “She’s so… She’s so tiny.”

Leah hummed in agreement, brushing her thumb against her baby girls’ soft skin, “She is, but she is a lot stronger than she looks. I guess she was just a little impatient to meet us, like a certain someone else I know.”

“Just like her big sister,” Jordan added, nudging you playfully.

A huge grin spread across your face, “It sounds so weird to hear that,” You said, a little in awe, “I never saw myself as a big sister.” You murmured, finding it hard to believe that you were now.

“Get used to it, little one,” Jordan chuckled.

You peered up to smile at both of them, “I can’t believe she’s here, she’s so tiny as well. Do you think she’s bigger than my own hand?” You wonder, curiously, “Wait, what about all of those wires that you mentioned. Doesn't she need them to help her?”

“She’s okay as she is for now,” Leah reassured you gently, “Do you want to hold her? I’m sure our little bubba would love a cuddle from her big sister.”

“I… I don’t know,” You hesitated for a minute, “What if I drop her, or something? She’s so small.”

“You’ll be fine,” Leah said, her voice protective yet encouraging, “You just need to remember to sort her head when you hold her,” She told you, as you inch towards her, settling down on the bed as Jordan helped to pass the tiny bundle directly into your own arms, “There you go, just look like that.”

“She seems content already,” Jordan chimed in, watching the interaction as she shared a smile with Leah and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “Our two girls.”

“Our two girls,” Leah murmured in agreement, leaning into her girlfriend’s embrace, watching the tender moment shared between the two of you.

Carefully, you held your new sister in your arms and felt a surge of protectiveness, “Hi Buddy, I’m Monkey,” You whispered, your voice barely louder than a whisper, “I know I just met you, but you’re my little sister. Biologically or not, I’ll always watch out for you and protect you. We’re going to have a ton of fun, and I’m going to teach you so many new things. You’re my favourite little buddy!”

jordannobbs and leahwilliamsonn posted

liked by liawalti, katie_mccabe11 and 12,023 others

jordannobbs welcome to the world, buddy 👣❤️

soaking up the newborn bliss over the last couple of days. our hearts are so full of love for our new baby girl 👶🏼❤️

© scribblesofagoonerr

[pitchsidestories]

🌈 Happy Pride Month ! 🏳️‍🌈 🏳‍⚧

pictures are from pinterest.

[trulyhblue]

Baby England

Lionesses x Young! Reader (platonic), Leah Williamson x reader (platonic).

Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, coarse language, school, young reader.

A/N — still can't get over Sam's ACL. Like I woke up just to cry? No, thank you.

Masterlist

___________________________________

The Games Room was quiet for what seemed to be the first time ever. The team was sprawled throughout the room, some of them on their phones, others by mountains of pillows. Georgia and Keira were in the indoor pitch juggling with one another. Alex was having a soft conversation with Hempo, laughing at something one of them had said.

The serenity of the room was something you didn't catch often. Usually, the hustle of the team would echo across the walls, loud pints of laughter and screaming coming from one corner of the room to the other. Lucy was often yelling at Mario Kart, and Ellie was always strutting around Table Tennis in triumph, while everyone else grumbled on about how she was too good.

But for now, it was silent, save for the low conversations from the different groups. Even Lessi and Tooney were keeping in check, sharing a rocking chair with mounds of blankets hauled over the top of them.

For anyone else in the room, it would've been extremely relaxing.

For you, it was anything but.

You wanted to snap your pen in half, feeling the fatigue of yesterday's game daunting on your muscles. The words on your laptop were dancing behind the blur of your eyes. You struggled to stay concentrated as Leah sat next to you, taking her eyes off her phone every once while to make sure you were actually doing your homework.

The Euros were speeding by quicker than any of you could imagine. The outcome of your results, and the number of fans that had started to compile over the weeks, was indescribable. This was your debut camp for the Lionesses, and while you spent most of your time on the bench, making late appearances in the 70th minutes of games, you wouldn't change it for the world.

However, with all the excitement and privilege that came with representing your country in such a prestigious competition at Sixteen, you were faced with the challenge of keeping up with school.

When you first signed with the Lionesses, your parents were determined to keep you in school. Your education was very important, and if football ever ended badly for you, they wanted you to have something to fall back on. Growing up through the youth groups, and developing skills in the Arsenal Academy, you were used to the physical and emotional demands of a professional football career. Your parents were incredibly supportive of your dream to play, but their underlying worry when you were called up to the National Team was daunted on them.

So, to make everyone happy, you decided to take on the complicated challenge of juggling both football and school. This meant that in your spare time, all you did was study for exams, take the exams, and then study for the next one. It was an endless cycle of school and work, but you knew that it would be all worth it in the end.

The worst thing about it was that none of the girls were your age. Some of them had Uni work to do, but you were still mastering high school subjects. The workload wasn't nearly as draining, and they seemed to have it all sorted out in a few short hours while you were spending all of your extra time peeling away your useless worksheets, essays and papers.

Lots of the girls were lenient. None of them liked the idea of you cooped up in front of a screen. Hempo would buy you some crisps from down the road. Mary would make TikToks with you, Beth would scoop you up for cuddles and a movie. LJ would pull you away for Mario Kart. All the girls believed that you needed a break, especially in such a stressful time.

But Leah was the exact opposite.

You had known Leah since you were seven. You had met her during one of your Arsenal Youth games, immediately looking up to her as an older sister and role model. Even as a teenager, Leah holds a protective arm around you. She was always ready to defend you on the pitch, not only as a Captain, but as a friend. She wasn't afraid to put you in line — she was the only one who could send you running laps if you were too cheeky. She was strict, especially when you parents weren't there to boss you around, and everyone knew that her authority over you was nothing to debate.

You were training with the Arsenal Women's Team while you were still at the Academy. You're not quite sure why you were chosen in the squad, as you struggled to believe you made the cut at such a young age, but the England Captain didn't hesitate to make you put in the work.

She was a bit like your agent, always persuading you to do something when you weren't sure what to do yourself. You still weren't signed with a WSL team, but as the Euros progressed, teams from everywhere were banking up to sign you as soon as possible. You tried hard not to delve too deeply into it. You knew Arsenal was a main contender, and that's where you most wanted to go, but your focus right now was the Euros... and the essay in front of you.

"C'mon, get it done," Leah ordered, scrolling aimlessly through Instagram, her hand carrying the weight on her head against the desk. You had been sitting there for over an hour, a total of one paragraph typed out on your screen. Outside, you could see Beth and Lotte playing Basketball. You threw your head backwards, groaning in respite. This was the last thing you wanted to be doing.

"No use whining about it." She spoke, still not looking at you. "'Might as well smash it out now so it's done."

"'Dunno what to write about." You grumbled, shoving your hands into your pockets. You managed to slip a glance towards Esme, feeling your hopes lift up when she gave you a knowing nod.

But of course, Leah caught the interaction. "Hempo, no." She snapped, sending the Forward back to her seat. "You don't get crisps when you've done nothing to deserve it."

"Leah-"

"-Get on with it."

You slouched back into your chair, making sure your Huff was loud and overly obnoxious. Leah had no reaction, leaning back in her chair, and continuing to scroll on her phone.

"Y/N." She murmured in warning.

When you made no effort to keep going, she finally looked at you.

You could tell she was over it. She wasn't obliged to sit with you, but it was an unspoken rule that she did, otherwise, you would never get it finished. The older woman secretly felt bad for making you do it. If it was her choice, you wouldn't be doing school during the tournament. She understood your reluctance, but both of you could guess the consequences of your actions if you weren't handing it in.

"You've got half an hour." She snapped, her glare darkening. If she wasn't strict now, it'd end badly. "If it's not done, I'll bench you."

From the corner of your eye, you could see Lauren stop her Lego abruptly. Esme was no longer looking at her phone, instead tilting her head away from the tension rising in an attempt to not get involved.

Leah didn't have the power to bench anyone, the older girls knew that. But to your virtue, you thought that Leah was capable of anything. An abuse of power, maybe, but it worked all the same.

You begrudgingly tapped at your keyboard, making a point to roll you eyes when Leah set an alarm for half an hour. You were determined to keep your spot as a preferred sub, refusing to let Leah feel all smug at the fact that you couldn't finish the stupid essay.

Lauren continued on with her Lego. Esme was starting a new bracelet. Beth and Lotte's giggles were drowned out by the determination written all over your face. Without your knowledge, more and more people began to cram into the Game Room. First, Lucy, then Kei and Gee. A few minutes later, Alessia and Ella were doing a TikTok, their voices growing louder as the minutes went by. LJ walked past with confusion written across her features. She leaned over your shoulder, eyes slightly widening at the page full of words. She glanced to Leah's phone and the timer, then at Leah, who was staring off into the distance.

By five minutes left, you had written nearly two whole pages. Your hands were cramping, and your feet couldn't keep still. Chloe and Katie were surrounding you behind LJ, waiting for you to snap out of your trance and notice the crowd that had complied.

You were reading over your final sentences when the door crashed open, revealing Millie and Rach running in frantically with a cameraman hot on their trail. Their presence was so boisterous that everyone stopped to see who it was, watching in curiosity when the two women started searching the room.

"We need the Baby!" Millie screamed, scrambling onto the floor to check underneath the lounge. "We need the baby!"

Rachel was running to the bean bags, dashing past Lucy, Keira and Georgia playing Mario Kart. Everyone laughed in amusement at the cameraman struggling to keep up with the two of them.

"Where is she?!" Rach screeched at Esme and Lauren, ignoring the fits of giggle the pair were in. "Where's the baby?"

"Over here, idiots," Zelem stated, causing both their heads to dart in your direction. The girls surrounding you were quick to scatter, knowing the wrath of the two women was not something easily escapeable. Millie was about to yank you from under your shoulders when Leah moved in front of you, her prior amusement halting, replaced with her usual sternness.

You were closing your laptop at the sight of the camera, beaming at the thought of freeing yourself.

"Not now, Bright," Leah uttered, wrapping an arm around the back of your chair. "She's got school."

Instead of leaving you be, the duo closed in on you, beckoning the camera over to your work sprawled across the table.

Both of them held tiny mics, holding them up to their mouths as they spoke.

"Here we've got the Arsenal Protege in her natural habitat. Born and raised in red, she seems to be researching ways to leave."

"Both Arsenal and Leah."

Leah's face contorted into deep offence. "Hey!"

"Yes, it appears she is." Rachel nodded vigorously, picking up your book, pretending to read it. "She has written down Aston Villa as her top contender. Not only is she fast, but smart too."

Millie hugged you from behind. "But we all know what side of London she's thinking of, isn't that right? Smart, little, blue she'll be, am I right, Williamson?"

The camera panned to Leah, who was not looking at all amused. The thought of you being at any other club felt absolutely gut-wrenching to her. Like her, you had grown up bleeding in North London. She wouldn't trade any other player twice as good as you if that meant you'd stay. But while she'd never admit it, Leah wasn't worried about you leaving Arsenal. She was more worried that you'd leave her.

"Over my dead body." She snapped, wrenching the Chelsea woman's arms away from you, swerving your chair back to face your laptop. "Now, off you go, she needs to get this done."

"I've finished it, Lee." You muttered, feeling embarrassed at the fact that fans would prune over the way you were bossed around. When it came to your figure in the media, it was mainly regarding your blamelessness in comparison to your more experienced teammates. You were often babied by the girls, and fans adored the interactions you would have with them, especially with Leah.

Your Captain looked at you, crossing her arms. "You promise me you're done?"

"Promise." Your cheeks heated as the snickers fell from Daly's lips. You nodded, slowly inching off your seat. "Please, Lee, I've been stuck here for hours."

"Yeah, c'mon, Williamson, let her come to the dark side." Millie barked, causing Leah to grumble at the notion.

It took her a few moments to decide whether or not to let you go, huffing in defeat when she turned off her phone. "Fine. But no Chelsea or Villa talk, swear to Go—"

You were off before she could finish her lecture. Millie had picked you up, lifting you over her shoulders as Rach followed behind. The three of you ran into the indoor training pitch, with the poor cameraman following after you hopelessly.

When Millie plopped you down, you engulfed the warmth of someone's lap. You craned your head back to find Jordan looking back at you, her beady, toothy grin beaming back at you. The Arsenal midfielder wrapped her arms around you as you made the effort to snuggle into her body. Jordan was like your second mother when you were away from home. She was an ongoing support that wore her heart on her sleeve. She was different from Leah's opposing relentless, being more of a calm before the storm, less sentimental but effusive nonetheless.

You were supposed to be Jordan's substitute during your time at the Euros, but her knee injury had ruled her out. Therefore, the woman was only there when the squad wasn't training.

You noticed the multiple cameras surrounding the couch you were all squeezed on, but the attention felt a little less daunting with the comfort of the girls around you.

"We've got some questions for you," Millie spoke, revealing some palm cards from God knows where.

You nodded, keeping your head on Jord's chest. "Ask away."

"Who is your favourite teammate?"

You thought to yourself for a second before shrugging. "Jordan."

Rach scoffed. "Boring."

"Yeah, next!" Millie rolled her eyes. "Who would win in a fight, me or Daly?"

"Why am I answering these?!" You laughed, shaking your head. "You could've asked anyone."

"Those aren't the real questions." Jordan prodded, leading the two women to laugh their heads off at their supposed humour. You looked around at everyone, extremely confused about what you were here for. There were a few PR Managers behind the media setup, all with clipboards in their hands. You managed to catch Jordan eyeing Bright and Daly, squeezing your body a little tighter.

"Yeah, yeah, we're just having a laugh." Mils chortled, straightening up before continuing. "We're to announce that Baby England here has been asked to answer a few questions on behalf of the team."

You watched the centre-back intently. "Why me?"

"Dunno." Rach shrugged, followed shortly by Mil's voice. "Just 'cause."

"Alright, then, by who?"

"God, you'd think with all that schoolwork you'd be a bit brighter."

Jordan huffed from behind you. "Hurry up!"

"Alright, alright." Rachel scoffed, taking out the same cards as Millie had, the England Lioness logo plastered on the back. "So, seriously now, how do you think the Lionesses have worked throughout the Euros?"

You were never the one to be faced with serious questions in interviews. In fact, you had only ever attended one or two. At Arsenal, you were in the Academy, meaning the media surrounding you and your team was very scarce. As a representative of your National Team, the two interviews you had been a part of were your induction and your Player of the Match award at the end of one of the games. You weren't used to being in the spotlight like your England teammates, but you were not opposed to being overshadowed by them either. You knew you had a lot to learn, you were happy to play alongside them.

“Erm, I'm not quite sure.” You posed, blushing at the laughter that followed. “I'm very proud to be a part of it… this is a big opportunity for me, and I'm grateful for having the chance to represent my country.”

“True English,” Mils said fondly, finding the camera with her eyes. “Modest as always.”

Jordan hugged you tighter. “Let her finish, Millie.”

“But I think all of the girls think that, even to a bigger scale than me.” You continued, fidgeting with your hands. “It's a home Euros so… we all want to bring it home. I think that's one of the main contributors — the pressure, but also the idea of winning. We all want our families and country to be proud. So, yeah, and because we all love football. That's a given.”

“That was a bloody good answer, Baby England,” Rach commented. Her hand was rubbing your shoulder, her legs crossed over each other on the lounge. The Defender behind her was smiling, propping herself into a more comfortable position before she spoke.

“Speaking of,” She smirked. “Are you bothered by your nickname ‘Baby England?’ Do you feel a bit bugged by it?”

You giggled into Jordan, your cheeks inevitably heating up. “Erm, yes and no. I mean, I know I'm the youngest but I’ll go back to training and the girls will be teasing me for it.”

“Do you want to stay in the Academy?” Rach asked. “What’s your plans after the Euros?”

“Not sure.” You shrugged. “Hopefully we finish with Gold, that's the hope, obviously. But, I’ll just have to see.”

Both women looked at each other, then the camera, hiding their smiles concurrently. Jordan and you watched in confusion.

“Should we start the list of offers you've got right now?” Daly chortled. “I can think of five on the top of my head.”

“Who’s your top five?” Millie continued, leaning in and mouthing her club Chelsea.

“Leah would kill me!” You laughed, shaking off the question. “I was talking to Lessi and Lotte about the States, cause my parents still want me to have an education. But to be fair, my agent hasn't told me any offers. I don't think she will until the Euros are over.”

“Well, you heard it hear first.” Rachel beamed. “Baby England to Villa!”

The Cameraman was about to end the video when a booming fury echoed from across the room.

All heads turned to an enraged Leah storming over. “I said no Villa talk!”

__________________________________

yourusername (pretend it's you and Leah)

yourusername — sorry @ rachdaly, no Villa talk

Comments

milliebright — u say nothing about Chelsea, right?

^ leahwilliamson — don't even go there.

lionesses — football’s coming home 🫶🏼

racheldaly — I’ll find a way

^ leahwilliamson — no you won't.

user1 — Leah fighting for Y/N’s spot at Arsenal more than Arsenal themselves LMAO

^ user2 — she really said North London Forever

lottewubbenmoy — Baby England 🫶🏼

alessiarusso99 — beautiful girls

*liked by yourusername, leahwilliamson

User3 — is this an Aston Villa denial confirmation?

^ user4 — I think shes just referencing the YouTube video or Her, Jordan, Mils, and Rach.

^ user5 — shes got all these offers, who knows

^ user3 — she practically confirmed she was going to North Carolina in that video tho

^ user4 — 🤷‍♀️ you could say that is is an Arsenal Confirmation since Leah’s in it. Fr tho idk.

Leahwilliamson — my 🌟 girl

^ user6 — their friendship is so cute

User7 — All these clubs want her, WHERE WILL SHE GO

^ yourusername — 👀

^ user7 — STOP DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

__________________________________

[wileys-russo]

Can we get Jordan Nobbs social media post?

insta stories you’d post as Jordy’s gf;