#Jonny laughs in the face of tan lines

[majorshatterandhare]

[ID: Seven images of Jessica Law as the Toy Soldier from the Mechanisms. The images also features Jonny Sims as Jonny d’Ville, Rachel L. Hughes as Raphaella la Cognizi, and Kofi Young as Marius von Raum.

Image One: a GIF of a performance, while Jonny narrators or sings, moving in and out of frame on the left edge, Jessica and Rachel run in place before locking around and skipping in circles behind Rachel’s keyboard. They are smiling.

Image Two: a photo of Jessica in a shopping cart, holding a black tea pot with white polka dots, with Marius helmet under her legs, laughing with her eyes pinched closed, and being pushed by Jonny. Kofi stands behind them, in front if a stone wall, looking at a hand-held device they are holding.

Image Three: a photo of Jessica, holding a black octokitten, smiling with her mouth open, wearing a pair of gold wire-frame glasses, in a dark room lit with red lighting.

Image Four: a photo of Jessica and Kofi skipping down an ally towards the camera, smiling with their mouths open.

Image Five: a photo of Jessica on a swing, up very high, with grass, trees, and a white sky behind her.

Image Six: a photo of Jessica standjng in front of a peeling painted brick wall, with her arms up and her head tilted down, smiling.

Image Seven: a photo of Jessica and Kofi playing rock, paper, scissors in front of a set of stone steps with plants around them. Jessica is smiling with her mouth open and is holding her hand in a fist. Kofi has their head turned to the side and has an expression of disappointment on their face, they are holding their index and middle finger out toward Jessica.

Jessica has light skin and long brown hair tucked up under her cap, sometimes she has bangs. She wears a white long sleeve shirt under a red waistcoat with gold buttons; in every image except the GIF, she wears a black coat with red lapels and cuffs and gold details. She wears black trousers with red stripes down the sides and in Image Two and Image Four, she wears black and white brogues, while in Image Five and Image Six she wears black boots with a small heel. She has a black curly mustache painted on her face.

Jonny has light skin and light brown hair, short in Image One and chin length in Image Two, and short facial hair. He wears a white short-sleeved, collared shirt under a brown waistcoat with black trousers and boots. He has a pair of retro welding goggles atop his head and black vein-y lines radiating from his eyes. He appears to be smiling, even as he speaks/sings in the GIF.

Rachel has light skin and long, wavvy blonde hair. She wears a white, long sleeved button up, untucked, under a brown, long-poufy-sleeved crop-top, with a reddish pattern on the bodice and tan bottoms.

Kofi has light brown skin, short, curly hair, and short facial hair. They wear a white collared shirt under a dark red waistcoat under a blue coat. They have a bandolier across their chest and wear a red bracer and a black fingerless glove on their left hand, whoch has a metal playe with bolts running parallel to the metacarpal bones. They have a monogoggle on their forehead in Image Two and Image Seven and over their left eye in Image Four. In Image Two Kofi wears a pair of small wire frame glasses, black trousers, and a black and white bandana around their neck. In Image Four they wear black trousers, black boots with tan staps over the calves, no glasses, and they hold their black and red helmet in their right hand. In Image Seven they wear white trousers, no glasses, and the same bandana around their neck.

End ID]

Can I offer you some happy Toy Soldier in these trying times?

[towez]

excuse you it is PERINEUM sunning and EXTREMELY GOOD for the skin

i firmly believe he PROTECTS his actual hole from sun burns as any man should by wearing a ROSE QUARTZ BUTT PLUG

ANON. LISTEN. I talk about this constantly to with my BFF, M, and I will add on to your WONDERFUL thoughts. Jonny sunbathes anywhere in the world, but I firmly believe Arizona is where he finds his zen. He grounds while wearing his toe socks, and when the sun is high in the sky our boy just lets it all soak in.

However, he is no dummy, he protects that skin within an inch of his life. He wears SPF 50 everywhere, and Kaner might help him reach his shoulders and neck because they easily burn🥹. But then he’ll lube up the butt plug with the SPF, and he’s SET. and maybe just maybe it’ll have a vibrate setting?👉👈. ☺️

[super-unpredictable98]

Twin Flames (Moonwalkers AU)

Chapter 1: Smells Like a Dream

Warning: Strong Language.

(Twin Flames Masterlist)

It was 1964 when Leon started working on this play, Lost Youth, it wasn't very good, but he had just moved in with his new roommate and had to pay half of the rent... Jonny seemed to be a pretty stand-up guy, he couldn't mess things up.

Not that he usually did anyway, Leon was a pretty quiet guy. He wasn't the best student in his class, but he wasn't bad either, he was pretty smart and witty (when given the chance), very hard-working, dedicated, and had a tendency to be responsible most of the time.

"Just until I get the chance to do a Hitchcock film," he always told himself right before going on stage to perform that disgrace of a play.

That script was cheesy, unfunny, boring, way too serious for how stupid it was, depressing, and just straight-up offensive at times. The whole story was centered around a trio of friends, one of them unexpectedly ends his own life in his mid-40s so there's a series of flashbacks showing the moments that lead to his decision.

Leon didn't expect anyone to actually watch it, and most of the time he was right. The theater was never packed, people would usually leave grimacing or grumbling, and he never once got a stage door compliment.

Luckily there was only one month left of that bullshit, this play would've been canceled way sooner if the protagonist wasn't the producer's son, who pulled every string possible to keep that shitshow on for half a year.

"Lost you say?" Leon gave his line for the millionth time, it never got any less ridiculous. "I'm not lost, I know who I am and where I'm going. You're the one who lost yourself trying to be an adult."

This was supposedly a very dramatic moment of the show, so he was taken by surprise when he heard a snort-laugh coming from the audience. He looked through the corner of his eye, trying to find where it came from, but at first glance, he couldn't. It was the most beautiful sound he ever had the pleasure to hear, or so he thought at the moment.

"I need to be an adult, Murray!" his castmate, Kyle, was completely overselling it. "School is over, we can't expect mommy and daddy to look after us anymore!"

"Well..." he really wanted to find the owner of that laughter, so he thought maybe a little improv would help. "What if I need my diaper changed once in a while? Who's gonna do it for me? You?"

Kyle widened his eyes in panic, not knowing how to react. Just as predicted, a burst of roaring laughter echoed from the audience. Most people were just chuckling softly, but not her... She was full-on cackling, tears running down her red cheeks as she tried to catch her breath.

That's when Leon saw her: a young girl, with beautiful cat-like eyes, wild curly hair, tanned skin, and the widest smile he had ever seen. She was trying to cover her grin apologetically, but everything he wanted was to get lost in it, knowing he caused it.

By the end of the show, which Leon butchered a few more times trying to be funny, he changed back into his clothes and ran out of the theater as fast as he could, hoping to catch her as she was leaving, but he couldn't find her anywhere.

"Are you alright, Leon?" Jonny asked as he arrived, seeing his roommate spread on the couch staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Yeah, just peachy."

"I know the play is stupid, but it's almost over, isn't it?"

"Uhum," Leon agreed.

"Something else bothering you?"

"I just saw the most beautiful girl that ever existed."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I'll never see her again, I don't know her name, I keep imagining it but none of them seem to fit."

"What's in a name, right?"

"Right! That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet... And she does, no matter what I call her. I don't wanna forget her face."

"Don't you think that's a little dramatic for a girl you've seen once and didn't even talk to?"

"Might be, but if you had seen her, you'd understand."

"Who knows, man?" Jonny shrugged. "If it's really meant to be, you'll see each other again eventually."

——————————————————

The next day as he was getting in costume, after shaving like he did every day, Leon tried to focus. Yeah, he saw a girl for ten seconds and she made him feel like the funniest guy in London, but that was it, there was no meaningful connection there. And Jonny was right, if God or whatever entity controls the universe wants them to meet again, they will.

"Five minutes until Places," the stage manager shouted through the door.

"Thank you five," Leon replied.

No one had ever laughed during that play before, it was quite unnecessarily dramatic and sad, maybe that's why she didn't leave his brain. Yes, she was a fox, but that laughter was the one thing truly haunting his thoughts.

He took a deep breath and walked on stage, sitting on a bench placed stage-right. His first scene was in a school, he's supposed to flirt with a girl, the protagonist's love interest and Murray's childhood friend.

The curtains came up and, surprise surprise, the house was pretty much empty, there must've been around twenty people there maximum. Leon's eyes quickly glanced over every face in there until his gaze met hers and suddenly it was like the floor beneath him disappeared.

She smiled, noticing his stare. Why the fuck would she come back? The play was clearly rubbish, she knew that, what made her want to see it again? Truth be told, he hoped to see her again, but it was more like one of those hopeless hopes you have when you're a kid.

"What would you say about that, Murray?" his scene partner, Sandra, gave the cue.

"I'd say, darling... That you're the most beautiful girl in this room," Leon leaned over his opposite, but his eyes flickered to the girl sitting in the middle of the third row.

"Don't you ever get tired of being such a flirt?"

"How could I? When every time I see you it's like my body is on fire?" this line was lame as hell, but he hoped the message came across. "I'd love to get to know you better."

"Know me better?" Sandra looked back at him, puzzled. "We've been friends since we were 6."

"I know, sugar, I just... Maybe you should wait outside," he said pointedly. "Wait for me so we can talk."

"You're not making any sense, Murray," Sandra was starting to lose her cool, but Leon didn't care.

For the rest of the play, he did his absolute best. He was acting the house down, hoping to actually make this experience more bearable to the poor girl who decided to be tortured once again by that atrocity of a book.

Leon barely finished taking his bow during curtain call before sprinting back to the dressing room and changing. He fixed his hair in front of the mirror and ran out the stage door.

At first, all he saw was an empty street, which made his chest tighten with disappointment. That was until he felt a hand on his shoulder and the air was graced with the most wonderful perfume.

"Hello," her soft voice made him turn around.

"Oh, hey," he cleared his throat. "I was hoping you'd be here."

"Well, you almost ruined the scene to ask me, so that was the least I could do."

"There's not much that can be done to ruin this play even further," he joked. "I'm Leon, by the way."

"I know... The cast list."

"Of course," he felt like an idiot. "That gives you an unfair advantage, you know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Thalia," she smiled.

"That's a beautiful name, and you have a beautiful laughter as well, and the rest of you is also beautiful..."

"Thank you, you're a great actor. Without you, this play would be impossible to get through."

"You really think so?" he was not used to people complimenting his acting skills, he was more used to people asking him when he'd get a real job.

"Of course, you have this James Dean quality about you. It's natural and intriguing."

Leon let out a high-pitched giggle, he's been compared to many people in his life, usually not in a very flattering manner, but James Dean? That was a first... It's like Thalia saw something in him not even he was able to see.

"You're just too sweet," he shook his head with a smile.

"I really mean it. It's not only because you're both incredibly handsome either."

"Oh!" his cheeks turned the deepest shade of pink. "Since you went through all of this twice, can I at least buy you some ice cream?"

"That would be nice."

——————————————————

"So, then my dad told us he would be joining shylock business in England and brought us from Greece. Now I've been trying to adapt for the last five years," Thalia sat down on a park bench.

"That's bollocks, I was born here and I already have a hard time," Leon joined her.

"Is that because you chose to be an actor?"

"I didn't choose to be an actor... I had to be an actor."

"And what does that mean?" her eyes illuminated by the streetlights were like two beautiful torches, guiding him through the night.

"People always say it's hard to be an actor, but it's even harder not to be an actor when that's your calling, you know what I mean?"

"I suppose, I have a calling of my own, you know?"

"And what is it?" he gently placed his arm around her shoulders, checking for her reaction to see if she liked it.

"Don't laugh... But I really love to create perfumes."

"Create perfumes? How do you do that?"

"It's just mixing different fragrances and creating a new scent, then matching it with alcohol. People don't usually understand my relationship with smells. I think it can bring so many memories and sensations... I remember people by the way they smell more than the way they look."

"Well, it's different, but if that's what you like... then you should do it."

"I like to try and recreate my favorite ones, like old books or freshly cut grass."

"Did you make the perfume you're with now?" Leon took her wrist and brought it closer so he could get intoxicated with her scent once again.

"Yeah, it's a mix of orris, amber, and calone. I call it Oneiros, it's the name they give to the personification of dreams in Greek mythology."

"It sure feels like it" he muttered, inebriated.

"You..." Thalia leaned in and nuzzled his neck, making him jump slightly from the unexpected proximity. "Remind me of cashmeran and musk."

"I'm not wearing any cologne."

"I know," she pressed a kiss to his jaw. "It's just you."

"And do you like it by chance?" his breath hitched as her soft warm lips made contact with his skin.

"It's my favorite."

Before they knew it, their lips crashed in a deep, passionate kiss. He wasn't sure who started it, or if they both did at the same time, but he couldn't care less. It had been a while since Leon kissed a girl for real, he was worried he might be a little rusty, but with Thalia it was like a perfect match, everything felt right.

"Wait, you're 16 right?" he pulled back trying to catch his breath.

"I can be 16 if you like..." she raised her eyebrows.

"Jesus, are you under 16? Am I going to jail?"

"No, Leon," she laughed. "I'm 18."

"Oh, all right," he sighed, thirsty for another taste of her lips. "Where were we, darling?"

Tag List: @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @spanishmossmagnolia @a-ghoulish-tale @seanfalco

[thatmultifandomhoe]

My Everything - Namjoon

Scenario: You go to a family reunion only to feel uncomfortable with how your family has treated you, and you go home to seek comfort in your boyfriend Namjoon.

Word Count: 2,604

Genre: Fluff

Master List

(gif is not mine, credit goes to its owner/maker)

"And you're doing what nowadays?" Aunt Shelia asked, raising an eyebrow.

Biting my lip, I fiddled with the hair tie I had around my wrist. "I work part time at the library and at the new bookstore downtown."

She glanced at Aunty Marty. They shared a glance before releasing a sigh at the same time. "And here we thought you were going to go places with that college degree of yours. Instead you're working at a bookstore..."

"For part time as well too," Aunty Marty interjected.

I bit the inside of my cheek as they stared down at me. My chest shook as I took a deep breath, my eyes burning as I tried to not cry. This is why I didn't want to come to this stupid family reunion. No matter what I seemed to do, my family knew how to tear my back down as they reminded me where it was that I belonged. In the trash pile.

As aunt Marty opened her mouth I prepared for another verbal attack when there was a sudden crash. It echoed through the building that they had rented for the event, causing everyone to stop what they were doing. Her eyes raced around the room as she chuckled out a fake laugh, gathering the attention on to her. "Don't worry everyone, it's probably just Dicky messing around again."

I rolled my eyes as everyone laughed, wishing that I could escape right now. This was the last place that I wanted to be, especially without Namjoon here. My family, while they didn't love him, they respected that he supported himself, but they hated how he did it. According to them, "being able to speak fast," wasn't a real job. Of course, they never said this to his face, but they made sure to tell me every chance they got.

"Where's your male friend?" Aunt Shelia questioned, watching as her fourth husband loaded up his plate at the buffet line for the second time. Or was it his third?

That was another thing, they never called Namjoon my boyfriend even though I always introduced him as that.

The thought of Namjoon brought a smile to my face. I had to leave early to make it to the family reunion and so he was still sleeping as I was preparing to leave. He looked so adorable with his hair flat and covering his forehead. He woke up as I tried to leave the bed, resulting in him pulling me back down to cuddle for "five more minutes." With him it ended up being every five minutes instead.

"Namjoon's back at home. He's been working on some songs for the new album." I proudly explained. He couldn't tell me much about it, all that he would say was that it was extremely different from the rest of their music, but it still held the same emotion and energy like in their previous concepts. No matter how many times I asked him, he would never tell me a single detail. By the way his eyes lit up every time the album was mentioned, I knew that it was going to be amazing.

"You kids, when the hell are you going to get real jobs?" Aunt Shelia said, breaking my little bubble of happiness. Digging through her pockets she pulled out a lighter and her pack of cigarettes, shaking one out. She glanced up at me and without a thought offered me to take one for myself.

"No thank you," I politely declined.

She rolled her eyes and stuffed it in the back pocket of her jeans. "You'll be taking it the next time I see you." With that lovely encouragement, she went out the side door to go out on the porch. For the quick second that the door was open, chaotic laughter filled the building as half my family continued to drink and smoke.

Stepping away from the door, I glanced around. The only ones left inside were my relatives over the age of seventy. They mingled among themselves, barely even noticing that everyone had gone outside where the alcohol was hidden.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, smiling down at the text I had received.

From Joonie <3 :

Hope you are having fun!

Love you jagiya

"Oh Namjoon," I whispered.

If he was here he would have made this event bearable. He knew that I disliked being with my family, but I never told him just how much I hated it. He was always encouraging me to spend time with them. He never admitted it, but I had a recurring feeling it was because he himself couldn't always be able to go back to his home whenever he wanted. Normal things, like a family reunion, he had to miss out on because of work.

"Hey kid, move out of the way."

I scooted back as my uncle headed towards the kitchen. He was carrying a red cooler with the top open, revealing empty glass beer bottles. I sighed, glancing down at what I was wearing. Even my own choice in outfit was the exact opposite of everyone else. Since the weather has been so beautiful lately, I thought I'd wear a lilac color sun dress that reached my mid calf with a pair white sandals. It was casual enough for a family gathering, but upon arrival I realized that I was overdressed. Everybody else was wearing oversized jeans and tee shirts.

Pressing my lips together, I reread Namjoon's text. This was the exact opposite of fun. I could be at home, where I was wanted, spending the day with Namjoon when he was finished with his work. I had my own things to do anyway.

With my mind made up, I put my phone into my purse and walked out of the banquet hall that one of my aunts was renting out for the day. Nobody stopped me to ask where I was going, not even a glance was spared in my direction as I settled in the seat of my car. My eyes burned as I was once again reminded that not even my own family truly cared about me. With shaky fingers, I wrote out a reply.

To Joonie <3:

I'm on my way home.

I tossed my phone and purse into the passenger seat and pulled out, leaving my family behind. The wind roared as I drove through the countryside, my phone beeping out as it received a text. Namjoon was probably wondering why I was leaving so early.

All my life, my relatives made sure that I knew I was the odd one out. Unlike my cousins, I didn't sneak out of the house to go to some party that had free beer, or even drugs. I preferred to read and spend my nights binge watching my favorite shows. They on the other hand, would brag about the latest hookup they had. I never knew what it was like to spend the night in a jail cell, I couldn't even begin to count how many of them have.

My family and I were as different as oil and water.

A strained conversation would happen, but any interaction that lasted longer than a few minutes was met with disaster. It was the very reason why my parents were no longer welcomed at these gatherings. You knew it was bad when the worst of the worst banned you from parties. The only reason I was still invited was because they were gossips. They wanted to know everything without having to actually interact with the person.

Shaking my head, I rested it against my palm, keeping my right hand on the wheel. The drive home went fairly fast, most likely because I wasn't dreading to be there. But most importantly, I knew Namjoon would be waiting for me inside my apartment.

I quickly made my way up to the second floor and was unlocking the door when I realized that Namjoon wasn't here. All the lights were turned off as well as my radio that I always left on. My shoulders slouched the further I walked. I had been looking forward to curling up on the couch while he rubbed circles into my back.

"Well, this sucks," I muttered, walking into my bedroom. I was out of my dress in a flash, slipping on one of Namjoon's shirts that stopped at the middle of my thighs when I noticed the paper sitting on my pillow. Curious, I turned the lamp on, smiling as I read the note.

Y/N,

Yoongi hyung had some lyrics he wanted to go over with me.

I may be late so please don't wait up for me. I know visiting your

family can make you exhausted.

Love,

Namjoon.

"Ahh Joonie," I spoke, padding my way into the kitchen for a glass of water, turning the radio back on. "You know me too well."

The soft music floated through the rooms as I left the bedroom door open. Taking a couple sips, I placed the glass on the nightstand and curled up on Namjoon's side. He slept over so much that his lingered even when he was gone on tour. It might not have been what I was picturing to come home to, but it was better than nothing.

A loud bang echoed throughout the apartment followed by an audible swear, waking me from my sleep. Even in my exhausted state I couldn't help but grin. I should have left at least one light on for Namjoon.

"Y/N, did I wake you?" Namjoon whispered.

Rolling over, I shoved my hair back as he turned on the lamp. He was kicking off his timber lands as he pulled off his white tee-shirt, blessing me with the sight of his shirtless body. He was toned from all the extra work he put into learning the dances, but he wasn't buffed out like Kookie is. Jonnie was leaner and there was no other way I wanted him.

"Oh I did, didn't I? I'm sorry baby."

I shook my head, as he slipped on a pair of sweatpants, and began to take his jewelry off.

"It's fine. How'd it go with Yoongi?"

Namjoon ran a hand through his sandy blond hair. It had been a shock when he arrived home with the new hair color, but it suited him perfectly, making his already naturally tan skin seem tanner.

"It went fantastic, and that's all you get to know."

Rolling my eyes, I glanced over at the clock and chewed on my lower lip. It was one in the morning. "Hey Joonie," I hesitantly called out. He raised an eyebrow at me, his dark brown eyes curious. "Is it too late for cuddles?"

His face soften as he got under the blankets but sat up with his back against the headboard. "Aw, of course not baby," he held his arms out. "C'mere."

With a small smile I crawled over to him, placing my head on his chest. He pulled my legs onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt that I wore. "Thank you Joonie, I really needed this."

He kissed my forehead as he stroked my hair. "How did the family reunion go?"

"They're a bunch of asses," I mumbled. I placed my hand in his stomach, lightly tracing shapes against his skin, enjoying how he shivered at my touch.

"Aw baby, what happened?"

His arms around me tightened as he tugged me closer. For some reason the one simple action brought tears to my eyes. For my entire life, i always wondered what happened to make them hate me in such a way. I tried to not let it get to me. Apparently my emotions had other plans.

I sniffed. "They hate me Joonie. I'm not like them and they don't even tried to hide their feelings." I wiped away at the stupid tears that continued to fall. "It hurts Namjoon."

"Why do you think they hate you baby?"

"They're just mean people." I shook my head, lifting it off Namjoon's chest and covered my face with my hands, crying. "I'm sorry that I'm letting them get to me. It's just so hard not too."

"Hey, hey. Don't cry baby." His soft hands gently pulled my chin up. I tried to keep from meeting his eyes, but every time I looked away from him he shifted so I was forced to look at him. My heart was hammering away in my chest, from the way my family made me feel and how loving Namjoon was acting as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. It was a double whammy. "Do I need to beat someone's ass for you?"

A laugh erupted out of my throat, but due to my crying it sounded strangled. "As wonderful as that would be, you're so much better then them. It's not your fault I'm related to white-trash." I rested my head back against the crook of his neck. I never called my relatives that in front of Namjoon before. Reaching out, I hesitated to take Namjoon's hand in mine and interlace our fingers together. For some reason, just saying that sentence made me worry that Namjoon would be disgusted by me.

He gave my hand a squeeze, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. "If it ever came down to your happiness, I'd take on the world for you Y/N." Namjoon tightened his grip on me, bringing me even further into his lap. "You are my everything, I hate seeing you upset."

I took a shaky breath as he rested his chin against my hair. New tears sprang forward but this time for a completely different reason. No matter what my family said, Namjoon was the greatest thing to come into my life. He was the reason I smiled, why I never gave up when college became too much at times. He was the one person that I thought of as soon as I woke up and before I fell asleep.

"It's your decision, but I don't want you going to their get togethers if they make you feel this way." He leaned back and in the process hit the headboard. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped, this time sounding more genuine. His lips pulled up into a smile. "There's that beautiful sound I love to hear."

I pressed my palm against his cheek, shifting so that my legs straddled his hips. He raised an eyebrow but all I could see in his eyes was his love. He kept one hand on my hip, the other sliding up till it rested on the middle of my back.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Namjoon pressed a kiss against my forehead, his lips lingering. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders enjoying this precious moment. No matter how many late nights he spent recording or in the dance studio with Hobi, he always found time for the two of us. He never let me feel forgotten or second choice.

He was my life, my family...my everything in this world.

[desolationofzara]

Oops...

Characters: Conner Kent, Jon Kent, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake (mentioned)

Pairing: Damijon, implied TimKon

Summary: Kon was just SO TIRED and wanted to crash on Jons couch...

A/N: SLIGHT NSFW!!! You know the drill, the boys are all aged up. (Jon is 19)

Enjoy!

Kon was exhausted in every sense of the word. He didn’t even know how he was standing on his own two feet, let alone flying. YJ had FINALLY come back from a long undercover mission, fixing whatever the hell the League fucked up in the first place. Kon sighs, looking at The Mountain. Does hes really want to sleep on a rock hard bed with someone waking him up every thirty minutes asking him about the mission? Or does he want to fly ALL the way back to Gotham so that he can sleep in his own apartment that he shared with Tim. Kon was so tired he wanted to whine and groan like a petulant child. Suddenly, a familiar laugh caught his super hearing.

Jon!

Jon had an apartment that was halfway to Gotham and Metropolis. That way, he’s close to his city that always needs Superboy; and he’s also close to his boyfriend for date nights and when the youngest Robin wanted to get himself into some shit. (Kon didn’t judge too hard. He has experience with Robins and their self-sacrificing tendencies.) Plus, Jon had AMAZING water pressure and a couch that was so comfortable, Kon proclaimed that it was made from the heavens. Sure, Kon missed Tim; but he lives with Tim. It’s not everyday that you can bug your not-so-little brother, especially when the Titans called on him as much as Young Justice calls on Kon.

Kon allowed himself to practically float there, deciding that he was too damn tired to actually put in the effort to fly. Kon finally made it to Jons balcony and opened it, rubbing his eyes.

“Jonny Buddy, is it cool is I crash here for a little bit?” Kon yawned, finally opening his eyes.

To be honest, Kon really wished he hadn’t.

Kon found Jon shirtless, laying in between Damian’s legs, his forearms on either side of Damians head, propping him up. Jons was a tangled, knotted mess, his eyes were glazed before snapping open wide. His lips were pink and swollen with harsh purple marks lining down his neck to his collarbone. The worst part of it was that Jon’s jeans hung dangerously low on his hips, and Damians tan hands were on the elastic band of his boxers.

No. The worst part is that they’re doing THAT on THE COUCH! That heavenly comfortable couch that Kon had slept on so many times in the past! That was basically HIS couch!

Kon didn’t know what to be more upset over. The fact that he caught his innocent little brother about to have sex, or the fact that he was about to have sex on the couch when there’s a bedroom like two feet away!

The couch.

He’s definitely more upset about the couch.

Two pairs of wide blue eyes stared at each other for a solid minute.

“If you don’t mind,” Damian broke the silence, a small smirk forming on his face “Id like to finish stealing your younger brothers innocence.”

Damian ran his hands up Jons back. He saw Jon grit his jaw and shiver. Kon held back a gag and ran out of Jons apartment with superspeed as he leap into the air; flying home as fast as he could.

Jon whined as he buried his now crimson colored face into the crook of Damians neck.

“If it makes you feel better, all of my brothers have caught us about to have sex.” Damian laughed under him.

“It doesn’t, it really doesn’t.” Jon practically wept.

“Then allow me to make you feel better.” Damian whispered into Jons ear, nibbling at it. Another shiver ran down Jons spine and they picked up from where Kon so rudely interrupted.

[rutisup-blog]

Spring Skiing with the Silver Surfer

  04/29/17 – Bed, Fort Badass. 5:40 AM

The alarm clock fills the room with FM radio, waking me up–It’s time to get dressed quickly, I have a ride to Tahoe picking me up at 06:00 AM. It’s my friend and co-worker Rachel, someone who tells coders what to do. As expected, she’s on San Francisco time…that is, she’s running late. I’ve anticipated this, one of the many characteristics you develop after moving to California.

She arrives around 06:30, and she’s overshot it a little down the block–no worries. In the mean-time I have eaten breakfast–Siggi’s plain skyr style yogurt with a handful of almonds. I lug my board, boots, backpack, and duffel bag down the sidewalk, loading it into her boyfriends Gray Nissan Altima. There’s an extra California license plate in the trunk, caked with years of accumulated dirt. We’re both tired, loading my gear in the back.

“I forgot my pass, we need to swing by my place” says Rachel, looking sorry. I don’t mind, I always expect delays in SF. I direct her to Townsend Street via the ol’ under the freeway 13th Street route and once we arrive, her boyfriend drops off her forgotten items. Time to rock.

We hit the road, and soon we’re over the Bay Bridge and headed east to Tahoe. The sun’s rays streaks through the girders on the outsides of the lower deck of the bridge, hitting the car like a strobe light as it’s rapidly obscured by the girders. I search Rachel’s pack for her sunglasses, finding a hip pair with wooden arms–nice.

We’re getting close to the Carquinez Bridge when we realize we need coffee. “Pull off here” I say, quickly getting us lost. My sense of direction is pretty awful sometimes. I pull up Google Maps, and navigate back to the freeway, driving through some farmland and past some sort of carbon plant–whatever the hell that is. We’re in the boonies.

“You’re not bringing me out here to kill me, are you?” asks Rachel, somewhat joking but not 100% certain. Five minutes later we’re rolling through the Starbucks drive-thru for some joe–two black coffees. Rachel offers me some of her croissant as we motor on east–it tastes delicious.

I cringe as we drive past Folsom, realizing that I’ve just missed the last Chic-Fil-A on the way to Tahoe. Fuck. Placerville is the next and only stop for decent chow. We try to stop at the In-N-Out besides Schlotzysky’s Deli–the one on Hi-Lo Drive–to find both sadly closed. Sad!

We settle for the Carl’s Jr. in the strip-mall across the freeway, where I grab a jalapeno thickburger. Rachel branches off to grab a veggie sub from the Subway across the parking lot. There’s this cool motorcycle with a sick sidecar parked in the lot. I emerge with a Carl’s Jr in hand and return to the car, but find no one there.

I walk up to the Subway, swinging to door wide open. My nose is blasted with an assault of the dreaded ‘Subway smell’ of yeast particles floating through that place like some sort of bread power particle accelerator. I quickly switch to mouth-breathing.

Without shame I sit down and start chowing down on my thickburger as I wait, but I only got two bites in before she approached with her sandwich in hand. “I don’t mind if you eat in the car” she says tactfully, so we jump back in the Nissan and hit the road, the foothills coming upon us as we clear through “Old Hangtown”.

All there is to see is pine trees on either side of the road as we drive up up up into the mountains. This is the all too familiar ride to South Lake Tahoe on US-50. Soon, the majestic beauty of the Sierra Nevada Mountains would be upon us. The air thins out as we climb up into the mountains, the speakers of the Nissan filling that empty space with the sounds of house music.

Some more banter and office politics talk, and next thing you know we’re driving through the mountain pass, a steep drop-off over the side to a forest of pine trees. Snowy mountain-tops span off into the distance. We round a curve on the pass to behold the beauty of Lake Tahoe in the background, and an airstrip down below near the foot of the lake, surrounded by a forest of pine trees.

“I’m gonna get my wings soon. Someday I’ll be landing on the airstrip” I remark, blue eyes wide as I dream big and talk bigger. No joke though, I will land there someday.

Whatup

We get to South Lake and park in the back lot of Harrah’s. I put on this amazing silver morphsuit my roommate Jonny lent me, and then start to gear up. We walk over to the gondola and wait 5-10 minutes to get on a gondola up the mountain. It’s me, Rachel, some raver chick, two other raver dudes, and some older guy wearing a Heavenly uniform that is an off-white shade–I’ve never seen this uniform before.

PSssscchhhh, the sound of a beer being opened echoes through the gondola a few seconds after we lift off out of the depot–raver dude has cracked a beer.

“Hey, come on. You can’t drink that on the Gondola.” says the old Heavenly dude. I notice his uniform again, it’s such a different color than the Helley Hansen jackets, and it looks barely worn. His name tag says Pete and he’s been ‘serving great experiences’ since 1984. He’s gotta be about 50, looking clean-cut with a cleft chin, helmet, and brand new white ski-boots.

“Ahhh..Come on man, it’s already cracked! “No.” the Heavenly guy responds. “Ah man…Hey, what do you do at Heavenly?” “I’m the Chief Operating Officer here at Heavenly” he says, nearly deadpan. “Oooohhh shiyyyyyeeeeetttt tighhhtt helllaa” say the raver kids, laughing at their dumbass friend.

I realize I was onto something with that peculiar jacket. The situation is somewhat awkward, but we get by, asking questions about Heavenly. Myths were shattered on that ride. We were sharing a six person gondola with who could be the true king of the mountain for all anyone could be concerned.

“Yo this is the last weekend because it’s a lease from the forest service right?” “No, we close in May because that’s just because people stop coming” responds The King. “Oh shit ok, but then that’s why Bo Real closes” “Bo Real…Oh Boreal? Nope, that’s not why they close.” “Oh man I thought that’s why” “No, people just stop coming…”

Well that settles that myth. We also find out after some probing that electricity is the biggest cost on the mountain–cool. We’re making our way up the face of the mountain now and the raver chick is totally enamored with the view. Raver dude seems to see his second chance.

“Ah so man, lemme drink this ya know, so it’s not looking like I’m coming off the gondola with a full beer you know.” “Dooonn’t Do it! chimes in one of his friends” “No.” responds The King “Come on man, it’s the _mountain_ man” says raver kid, bringing the can up to his lips “Don’t do it” he says, the seriousness echoing through the gondola. “Ah ok…”

The gondola comes up to the sky deck lookout point, and the King encourages the troublesome trio to check out the view if they’ve never seen it. Sly. They disembark, and I have a little freak-out as I can’t find my snowboard. Luckily I look behind our gondola and see it’s just in the one behind us–phew.

As the gondola pulls out of the sky deck stop and hurdles towards the top, we all breathe a collective sigh of relief to be rid of those three. “Some people don’t think. They just do. And unfortunately it’s usually those people that end up getting into trouble on the mountain” remarks the COO.

A few minutes later the gondola cruises into the station, and we disembark. I’ve really got to take a piss now. I walk into the bathroom, shuffling over to the urinal and opening the fly of my snow over-alls. I try to pull the dragon through the fly and then realize that I’m wearing a morphsuit. There is no fly. Fuck.

I can’t reach the zipper on the back of my morphsuit, hanging out in that awkward space between your shoulder blades. I ask a stranger to help unzip my morphsuit for me. I laugh at the oddity of this situation. I’m taking a piss now in the toilet as my newfound assistant is unloading a gnarly shit in the stall beside me–time to get out of here. Can’t even wash my hands with this suit on.

Okay, ready to rock. We descend the tall metal stairs from the gondola station, our boots making a sweet slushy crunch sound. I’m back on the snow. We go up Tamarack lift, ride down to Dipper. The snow is a little icy right now. I end up going through this shitty icy bowl near the lift. I realize I’ve entered the yard sale corridor, an area you often see skiers losing their skis as you ride up the lift.

I get some good air on some jumps in the woods, and I realize it might already be time to ditch the jacket and pants and just go full silver body suit. We go up dipper and I take the sleeves off my jacket. We do milky way bowl and it is just OK. Rachel has skis and is definitely faster than me. The only way I can remember to recognize her is by her orange socks. After a few runs on Dipper we go down Comet like 4 times.

Snow is soft, conditions are good. I’m doing lots of jumps, fuck yeah. We take a break to ditch some layers down at East Peak Lodge, and find the scene electric. There’s a snowcat mobile DJ booth set up, and they’re playing the hits of the 90’s. Tons of people hanging out in deck chairs in the snow, many people tanning… It’s gotta be like 65 degrees Fahrenheit. At this point, we both realize that we want a beer.

Naturally, there’s a big line at the bar. No beers on tap, three bros tending to the bar.

“What do you have on tap” asks a patron

“Mmm…” says the bartender, kind of looking quizzically at the taps, and then with a sweeping motion of his hand over the handleless taps and a coy smile he says “None!”

These lads were having a grand ol’ time. I get a Guinness while Rachel gets a dirty snowman, the bartender saying “Okay, but there’s no snow for me to go roll around in outside”. The next bartender confirms her order, asking “One inappropriate snowman?” What a bunch of jokers.

Finally, we’re back outside. The tunes are pumping, and there’s like fifty or so plastic deck chairs just hanging out in the snow, full of people drinking, tanning, and generally being merry. We grab two chairs and then cheers, taking that first sip of that sweet alcoholic nectar–ahhh. So good. I take a taste of her dirty snowman and realize that it’s fucking awesome, my new favorite hot drink.

So we sit there a while and have some banter, getting a pretty decent buzz off of just one drink–that altitude will get you. I peel off my morphsuit and just tan there bare-chested in the sun, laying back in the chair and using my goggles as sunglasses. I’m careful to keep the strap low on my head, so that I don’t get a weird tanline on my bald head. Rachel has a tank-top or something like that and considers going down to a sports bra but wusses out. I share stories about my former workplace and the moral dilemmas of working with 90% females. Whenever I went out to eat with them they never finished their meals, they would just push their half eaten plates towards me and expect me to finish them.

It’s like 13:45 now and I decide it’s time to shred the mountain full morphsuit. Now it’s just me in a full silver morphsuit, sparkling in the sun. People get a nice show of my butt as I struggle to get my feet back in my red riding boots. This old couple takes photos of me, and apparently a lot of people were doing the same. I was getting a lot of attention and I liked it.

Full silver surfer mode now, I stashed my jacket and pants behind the outdoor bar, looking pretty obvious. You tend to stick out when you reflect the sun. We go up Comet like five time, some nice runs down Comet, Orion, Aries Woods, and others. We meet some characters on the lift ride up. There’s two old Tahoe dudes who have a pipe, weed, but no lighter.

“Heyyy man, silver surfer!! Can you reflect the sun to light our bowl!?” says one, laughing in his old hippie way

They offer us some, but four of us were on a lift and none of us had a lighter. One of those moments that makes you questions just what the hell you think you’re doing with your life. I talk about motorcycles with them the whole ride up. Those guys were cool shit.

On the next lift up we meet this old salty dog, he’s got to be one of the most jaded people I’ve ever met on a lift. “Dating is more fun, I’ve already been married twice.” he says, looking off into the distance to ponder the Sierra Nevada Mountains. He goes on a tangent about having sex with the lights on or off. “You should have your own dating hotline man” I tell him, somewhat joking.

We shred some gnarly slush until about 15:00 and then decide to get one last epic run in and then call it. We ride over to the milky way bowl, and then decide to hike up to the top. I barely ride up it much before I have to unstrap and start hiking. I walk for ages, taking a few breaks. I look back to see an amazing view of Lake Tahoe, and a long row of footprints from what now seems like so far down below. We stop near the top where it gets all rocky.

I stick my board in the snow and start to pant a bit. Wow, I’m fucking exhausted. I hear a plane flying by loudly, and I look around trying to find it. And then I realize that it’s flying right by, but I’m looking up instead of down. We’re higher up than the plane is flying–how fucking cool is that. I sit down in the snow and just take it in, watching the plane cruise through the Heavenly Valley headed eastbound through Nevada.

True beauty up here. I get my phone, needing to lick my silver morphsuit fingers to let the haptic sensor register my finger–welcome to the future. I take a snap and see that I’m at 9,964 feet right now–wow. It’s breathtakingly beautiful up here. I realize that this is the most beautiful view of Lake Tahoe I have ever seen. You see the snow and that beautiful basin that is Lake Tahoe to the left, and then to the right it drops off all the way down to no snow and the flatlands of Nevada. It gives a true perspective of how Tahoe is just this weird big basin of water at high altitude. The Dipper lift runs off in the distance.

We’re sitting in the snow taking it all in, the beauty of Lake Tahoe, the snow, the Heavenly Valley. That idyllic beauty of it all. The sounds of the mountain–or lack thereof. Just a light breeze, warm sun, and sparkling blue lake. You can see the frost line visibly on the mountains right by the lake–it’s true beauty.

My silver bodysuit reflects the sun, and now that I’ve spent about three and a half minutes enjoying the beauty of nature, what else is there to do but have a photoshoot? You can take the boy out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the boy. Rachel gets some action shots of me as I pose in front of the lake.

“Work it, work it” she says jokingly, although I’m taking it quite literally. Goggles on, goggles off, board and no board, just generally having some fun with the four accepted wardrobe changes in the paradigm of snowboarding photos. I end with a blue steel pose, and then really jump the shark and put the morphsuit hood over my head and do some creepy zombie crawling towards the camera.  At this point Rachel’s had just about enough of my shit and gives me back the camera.

She clips in, I strap in, and then we ride down the huge bowl–it’s steep and crunchy. I’m still in love with the fact that my silver body suit is still providing me enough warmth. We get back down to East Peak Lodge and everything is closed up–what a bummer. I was hoping to listen to more 90s music and drink a beer. I run down to the outdoor bar and lean all the way over the counter to grab my jacket, snow pants, and other stuff I stashed. It’s all there–phew. We’re desperately in need of a beer at this point.

We’re the very last people to get on the chairlift out of East Peak–we closed ‘er down. There’s a bunch of Japanese tourists asking us to take yet another iconic Heavenly photo. They do a few poses, and then we’re ready to get that final run in for the season. I’ve balled my snow pants up with my H&M Hawaiian t-shirt, carrying this big bundle of clothing in my left hand. I try to do some tricks, but realize that it’s really hard to do that when you’re off balance. I have a nice ride down to the gondola.

The music is pumping outside of Tamarack Lodge, and everyone’s trying to get a last beer in. Alright, let’s do this. We find a slanted metal picnic table in the sun, and leave our stuff on the table. It’s a bit of a madhouse here, so Rachel gives me her ID and credit card and holds down the table while I order. “What is this, the East Coast? I’ve only needed multiple IDs in New York” I say as I walk towards the lodge. “I’ll have an IPA” says Rachel as I walk inside.

“Space man!!!” “Silver Surfer!!” “Take me to outerspace!” “I love your suit!”

I’m known by many names at this point, but everyone inside is loving my outfit. They’re probably a little drunk to be fair. Three large lines snake out from the bar, everyone trying to get one last beer in. By the time I get to the front of the line, I realize that it’ll be slim pickings. All that’s left are some dark beers–a milk stout and a porter. I grab two of each, and I’m surprised to see that they want to see the other ID for the other two drinks–Rachel was right.

We enjoy the last drinks of the season out there infront of Tamarack Lodge. At some point an Australian comes up to the table and enthusiastically says “Oy! You’ve got a nice dick. She’s a lucky girl”. I nod my head and say “Thanks bud”. Not sure why everyone thinks we’re a couple, but I’ll take the dick compliment. I realize at this point that my tight silver suit probably gives a pretty good outline of my package, but I don’t really care.

Soon we’re once again the last people drinking. Everyone has left, but I resist the herd mentality and just relax and enjoy my beer. Eventually they shut the music off and we decide it’s a good time to bounce. In the meantime the gondola line has dwindled from a 30 minute wait to a zero minute wait, and I’ve got a nice altitude buzz again–that’s called doing it right. We’ve closed the lodge down–AGAIN. Infact, we closed the whole mountain.

I enjoy a nice scenic gondola ride down to lake level, and then we walk over to the back lot. Ahah, the shirtless hippie crew is hanging out by their shiny restored VW bus, drinking Sierra Nevada and playing guitar. A bohemian couple cuddles in the grass. It’s kind of weird to think that I was walking in the snow 10 minutes ago, and now it’s all lush green grass down here. One of them got me with a snowball earlier on the mountain–he had a great arc on it.

We pack the our gear into the car, and it feels nice to get out of the silver surfer suit. I could eat a horse at this point. Basecamp Pizza is like a whole five minutes walk away. “Would you judge me if we drove a minute to get that much closer to Basecamp Pizza” asks Rachel. I thought she would never ask. We drive down the block, finding an easy parking spot. It was pay to park, but the meter was broken–perfect.

The Heavenly village is fucking LIT. There’s a bunch of 18 year old couples walking around in Tahoe prom attire–interesting. We see the crew in the four gaper suits breaking it down on the outdoor dance floor of some bar Oh man, I just want to stay here and rage with the old people. ‘The craic is 90’ as an Irish person might say. Suddenly I worry that there might be a wait for food.

We wade through throngs of people, seeing a many lingering near the entrance of the restaurant. “I’m not completely married to eating at basecamp” says Rachel tactfully. Just then the White Sea seems to part as we walk up towards the entrance and it’s only a five minute wait for a table outside–fuck yeah.

Two beers in, both of us really need to pee. The quest for bathrooms begins, and we walk past some tables with absolutely delicious looking pizzas on them–man this is going to be great. After taking my first pee without a spandex suit on, I return to the hostess and our table is waiting for us–perfect. I order a ‘Java the Hut’ coffee drink, while Rachel gets the Deschutes Pine Drops IPA. Damn, I was thinking about getting that. I give it a sip and it’s pretty tasty, but I still think I prefer the Freshly Squeezed IPA. More hops, less pine drops. I guess that explains the name.

We split a small Greek salad and a medium veggie medley pizza. It’s fucking DANK. Rachel’s eating slows down, and I know what’s coming next. “Have some more pizza” she says, ever so slightly pushing the pizza towards me. “Aha, see! I told you, girls never finish” I retort. I had reinforced my story from earlier in the day.

We hit the road right after, getting back to San Francisco at 11:15 PM. I grab my stuff out of the Nissan and wave goodbye. I drop it all off in my room and them immediately head over to a housewarming on Sharon street. They had a bunch of cheese and crackers out–fuck yeah. No meat though.

I didn’t want to point it out, but you’re not supposed to eat fine cheese with crackers. It hides the taste and feel of the consistency of the cheese in your mouth. It’s better to use fruity or crusty bread.

It was a a pretty ‘epic day’.

Spring Skiing with the Silver Surfer was originally published on RUT-IS-UP