#Jonah Heston

[mst3kgifs]

Santa's visiting "It's a Small World."

[opti-mistic]

Been thinking about these guys recently

[fleetn-crab85]

A brand new batch of MST3K Textposts cause I've once again fallen back into the strange, science-fiction world of this show

[orbot5]

these 2 would be best friends dont lie

[tictacwaverly]

Jonah!

[lexsiyette]

I'M MAKING AN MST3K COMIC!

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

A small tierlist on who I’d trust to make dinner

[pelorsdyke]

i love the wiggles

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Sample Size: 531 stories

Source: AO3

[placeholderblogname-011]

I forgot his name so I was just yelling "p squiggly! p squiggly!" at the tv hoping someone would remember for me

[gizmocrate-werecrow]

kinga tampers in god’s domain

(This MST3K monster au story is a collab with @classicrocker2000)

(Btw the monster au stories is in the same universe! Warning! Contains a dead body and spoilers for season 11 and 13)

Weddings don’t usually end with a dead groom, but tonight was a night to remember. Kinga watched Jonah get killed by Reptilicus and the carnage that followed. Now, she stood in her lab, still in her wedding veil and humming a little working song. On the bright side, Max’s little stunt has secured more funding for a second season and a trip to Mars for him. The downside however, was that Jonah was dead.

She didn’t mind though.

Kinga may not have been an inventor, but she was something else. Kinga continued humming as she laid down all the stuff needed to bring a man back to life: needle, thread, CDs, and of course, the body (coming soon, of course).

“Finally I get to play in my domain! Not those invention exchanges!” Kinga laughed. She poured a red bubbling liquid into a flask and mixed it with some glowing blue powder, producing a glowing purple liquid that she placed in a Gizmocratic institute patented fast fridge to keep it cool for the body much later.

She smiled. Everyone had their hobbies and her very girly hobby was messing with bodies, dead, living. Preferably dead and creating new life out of it. There was a certain thrill in modifying the building blocks of life. To mold flesh like clay into something new. She tapped her foot impatiently and pressed a button that was marked with the label Ardy.

“How’s the body retrieval Ardy?”

“We’ve got everything Kinga, you sure you want to do this?” The mysterious maintenance man said with hesitation in his voice.

“Of course I do! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Send it or else!” Kinga shrieked before calming down. 

“Whatever you say ma’am, Body in the hole,” Ardy said.

There was a thunk, then another and another and another, Kinga checked the chute to see some of the body parts of her lawfully deadded stunt husband.

She slipped the parts into the fast fridge as more body parts came down. Bits of a finger here, an arm there, a nearly intact head with smashed glasses and so many other parts.

“Well then, time to work.” Kinga said.

After many days of hard work, Kinga stepped back to admire her handiwork on the operating table, medical tools on the side bench and the purple liquid in a syringe waiting to be put in. Jonah’s body was covered in scars, on most of the joints was a connection stitch. Before anything else though, there was one more thing she needed to attach

The head.

Kinga kissed Jonah’s forehead and got to work on bringing his head together. She picked up his head and turned to see the back of his head, checking if the ears were sewn on properly, then she saw it. 

A tiny latch.

“What the hell?” Kinga said. She opened the latch and nearly dropped his head in shock.

Kinga was staring at a floppy disk slot. Holy shit. This was big.

Her stunt husband was a robot. He didn’t even know that he was a robot!

“So that’s why Reptilicus spat you out. Don’t worry Jonah, I won't break your world. I will put you back together and make you whole again!” Kinga said, she sang the last sentence with a giddy laugh and held Jonah’s head close, spinning as she did so. She placed Jonah’s head down onto his neck and carefully stitched it together, keeping the thoughts of the revelation at the back of her mind.

“You’re nearly ready for life, my test subject. But you need one more thing, my staff of life.” Kinga smirked, grabbing the syringe and injecting it into Jonah’s neck. Then with a flourish, Kinga laid down the syringe and twirled to a lever marked: HENCHMEN LEVER

“CLEAR!” Kinga yelled, pulling the lever.

The room dimmed as a circular hole opened up in the ceiling, down came an electric emitter which crackled to life. As it powered up, Kinga could feel her hair stand on end and frizz up, she smiled wildly as the bolt struck Jonah, causing all of his veins to glow purple for a moment.

Perfect. Kinga flicked the lights back on with a smile and loomed over Jonah.

Jonah’s eyes snapped open. He screamed.

“WELLLLCOME BACK JONAH!” Kinga said.

Jonah’s eyes darted around in a blind panic. The last thing he recalled was the crushing pain of getting chomped by Reptilicus and an overwhelming feeling of peace. Now, he was back on the moon, tied down and somehow alive.

“Kinga, what did you do?!”

“Isn’t it obvious, Heston? I tampered in God's domain and won! I brought you back from the dead. I—you get the picture.” Kinga said, untying Jonah and standing him up.

“You could’ve kidnapped someone else!”

“Pshaw, Netflix already asked for a season 12, and I have to build up your popularity. If you die, then we can’t have Joel vs. Mike vs. Jonah debates, can we?” Kinga smiled, grabbed Jonah’s hand and walked with the undead man.

Jonah couldn’t shake the feeling he was being paraded around like some trophy. An invention to be shown, a creation only belonging to her. Every bonehead he passed seemed to glance with a level of either horror or surprise.

Was he really that horrifying to look at, or was it that he came back? 

Either way the bots were going to have a nasty shock once he was back on the SOL.

On the SOL, while Tom was hovering in the background holding various doodads and knick-knacks for the goal of fixing m weavly, Crow was waiting by the umbillicus.

“Hey Crow, what are you doing?”

“Kinga told me she’s sending a surprise package. I’ve got 10 bucks it's the next poor sap who will get shot to space.”

“Yeah okay. Good luck.” Tom said, happily floating away.

Crow, meanwhile, sighed to himself. Once again, they were alone, and would soon have to get used to another new face. He always wondered what happened to the guy before Jonah but he shouldn’t think about that.

There was a thunk.

“Huh, that's one way to send up a captive.” Crow said. He opened the hatch and was immediately hit by a body.

“She sent up a corpse?! TOM! SHE SENT UP A CORPSE, OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR!” 

Tom flew in response to Crow’s screams, it wasn’t long until he started screaming too.

“Guys it’s me!” The body yelled over the panicked bots screams.

The body got up and dusted himself off, Crow in his panic noticed the body was covered in scars and how it was familiar with thick black glasses and the yellow jumpsuit. Wait a second.

“Jonah, is that you?”

Jonah nodded. 

“Kinga brought me back to life, not sure if I’m thankful or not.” Jonah said with a confused smile.

“Where’s your hand?!” Crow screamed.

Jonah yelped. His right hand had fallen clean off and was on the floor, moving as if it was still attached to his body. Jonah froze in place. This wasn’t happening. He shouldn’t actually be able to move his hand.

Yet the disattached hand moved towards the space trucker. Crawling up Jonah’s right leg before he grabbed his hand and cleanly put it back on.

“Seems I got a Re-animator thing going on.” 

“Wait you do? Freaky.” Tom said. Jonah walked over to the bench, observing the pile of M.Weavly’s parts on it, he looked up at Tom with some confusion and a little smile.

“Looky here, seems like someone wants to do some little robotics, want some help?” Jonah smirked. He was about to reach for the toolbox on the bench when Crow tugged him on the jumpsuit. He looked down at the golden robot with some confusion.

“What do you want, Crow?”

Crow stayed quiet and hugged Jonah’s torso.

“I'm happy you’re back.” 

Jonah didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how they thought of him, they liked him? They actually missed him? Jonah didn’t know what to say except to hug Crow back. While he embraced the snarky golden robot, Tom floated to Jonah.

“I would hug you Jonah but I have no working arms.” Tom said he was just about to hover away when Jonah brought the robot into the embrace.

They do care.

(I don’t know how many people watched season 13 but basically in Gamera vs Jigar, one of the host segments has the revelation that jonah is actually an animatronic so um yeah, that’s put in here too. That’s why it’s marked for season 13 spoilers)

[mst3kgifs]

Good, I'm not late for Baby Club.

[coffinshippingluvr]

Question? does anyone remember this show

Answer, no😢/j

I love Jonah but Joel will always be my favorite ngl 💔 this song is chefs kiss tho

[fleetn-crab85]

Can I offer a Jonah Heston edit in these trying times?

Song name is Deceptacon by Le Tigre!

[orbot5]

uh!that just happened! ahh look

[yourfaveisafearavatar]

Jonah Heston from Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return is an Avatar of the Lonely