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valentineforlemonandcherry · 11 months ago

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Joke's On You 18

When Fred Weasley carelessly bumps into you into the hallway, you decide to take him a notch down; not by berating him, but by showing him up at his own game of using your charm and intellect to get what you want. And it’s fine if the end result doesn’t leave everyone quite satisfied - in fact, that’s what you want…

[Fred Weasley x Reader.] [Warning: Story Contains Explicit Smut.] [Warning: Non-Consent.] [Warning: Manipulation.] [Warning: Humiliation.] [Warning: Light Bondage.]

⍟ Click Here for Joke’s On You Home Page (All Chapter Links) ⍟

All was fair in love and war. That was very much the motto that you and Fred lived by.

Even while the two of you met up everyday and did all the boyfriend-and-girlfriend things (in your own fashion) and even though the two of you still could not keep your hands off of each other, the entire time, a secret war was brewing.

After the next Hogsmeade trip, you spotted Fred, George, and Lee smuggling a niffler into the castle. You pretended not to notice the snout poking out of Lee’s jacket since Filch was standing next to you, waving his broom threateningly at anyone who seemed suspicious. And you never mentioned it to Fred, but you were waiting for the merest hint of a plan being put into action.

So, when Fred entered your room one afternoon with a jauntier walk than usual and a particular sparkle in his eye, you knew something was up. You acted as you usually would for the entire lunch break. (You stripped off your panties, wore your little heart plug, lay on your bed, and waited for Fred while doing your homework. When Fred came in, he immediately fell forward onto your bed and split your legs apart hungrily. You scoffed and pushed him away with your foot. When Fred whimpered, you playfully crossed your feet in the air as you continued to do your homework.)

Finally, Fred, slightly sullen as you wouldn’t let him have you (“I’ve got homework, Weasley,” you snapped) left ten minutes early (to “er – grab my bookbag,” which he’d apparently forgotten), you gave him a good-bye kiss, pretended to smile and wave, and closed the door after him. However, as soon as you heard his footsteps fade away, you dressed, hurried out, and stationed yourself in front of the Transfiguration classroom, which you thought was the most likely spot that Fred, George, and Lee would pass to come down from Gryffindor Tower to wherever they planned to go.

* * * * * * * * * *

Five minutes later, Kenneth joined you. “Looking forward to Transfiguration today?”

“Mhm,” you said, while scanning the corridor like an eagle.

“You know, the Illusion Principles that we’re learning now form the basis of Human Transfiguration at N.E.W.T. level. Isn’t that interesting?”

“Oh, yes,” you agreed. “Simply fascinating.”

“Also, I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you applied for the Wizengamot junior summer internship yet?”

You nodded brightly. “Yes, I submitted my application over winter break. So did David. We reach each other’s essays before we submitted them.”

“Well, I asked Penelope when she received her response last year, and she said it was around this time.”

Your eyes widened. “Really? So we might hear back very soon?”

Kenneth nodded. He hesitated, and then he asked, “So, you’ve still got your heart set on joining the Wizengamot?”

“Yes, of course.”

Just then, you caught sight of Fred, George, and Lee sneaking stealthily through the corridor. You squinted at them and you could just make out the niffler stuffed in George’s cloak.

“Weasley! In the name of the law! Stop right there!”

“What - ?” Kenneth said, taken back.

“Hold this!” You all but threw your bookbag to Kenneth before sprinting the entire length of the fifth-floor corridor to grabFred. You meant to grab the back of his cloak, but you missed and grabbed his hair instead.

“Ow!” Fred yelled. “Get off!”

“Professor McGonagall!” you hollered.

“Let go, you hellcat!” Fred shouted at you. “Now’s not the time!”

“No!” you shouted back. “Now is the time!”

You both wrestled furiously with each other.

“God damn it, you’re supposed to be on my side,” Fred growled. “And leggo of my hair!”

“No,” you stressed, huffing heavily. “And what are you up to, hm? Why aren’t you in class, where you should be?”

“I’m going to class, if you would LET GO OF MY HAIR!” Fred burst out.

Other students stopped to watch the two of you duke it out in the middle of the hallway. Meanwhile, Lee and George placed bets on whether you or Fred would win.

Recognizing that he wouldn’t get out of your clutches quite so easily, Fred yelled, “Boys, soldier down! Go on without me!” and he motioned furiously at George and Lee to take off.

George suddenly wrapped his arm around a bulge in the side of his cloak and he began to take off.

Bollocks, George is the one that has the evidence, you realized. He’s the one actually carrying the Niffler.

Struggling absurdly hard, you finally managed to sit on top of Fred and gather his wrists together and hold them down – at this, Fred paused. Lifting his eyebrow up at you, he said suggestively, “I know you get off on riding me, but do you really wanna show all of these people how much you like me?”

You scowled at him. However, using Fred’s moment of distraction, you managed to pull your wand out of your cloak and point it at George. “Iterdum!”

“Oof!” Hit by your Trip Jinx, George fell over. To his credit, he managed to roll over so that the Niffler wouldn’t get squashed.

“Oi!” Lee cried out. “Toss him to me!”

You leapt to your feet, but Fred managed to hook his leg around yours and bring you back down to the ground.

This time, it was you who growled, “You let go of me this instant!” “Not a chance, you stupid prefect!”

You saw Fred’s gaze wander up to your hair – You gasped, “You wouldn’t!”

Fred grinned. He reached out and grabbed a handful of your hair.

“No!” you growled.

Fred laughed, mussing up your hair as much as possible while sitting on top of you.

“You’re not even grabbing my hair! You’re just messing it up!” you said indignantly.

“So? Whatcha gonna do ‘bout it, huh?” Fred said gleefully. He stuck both in his hands in your hair and roughly shook his hands.

“Aargh, no! You – You infantile pillock!” you burst out.

Fred smirked down at you, and he said, without an ounce of sincerity, "Oops."

Grabbing Fred’s hands, you seriously grappled with him. Fred’s laugh faded away, and his brow furrowed as he slipped back into focus, trying to keep you under him.

“Fred, I said let go! This is obstruction of justice!”

“You’re an obstruction of justice!”

“Grrr…!” Managing to slip your hand through Fred’s grasp, you lifted yourself as much as possible and latched onto the front of Fred’s hair again.

“You – Ow! Not the hair again! Godric,do you want a bald boyfriend?”

With one hand still tightly gripping Fred’s hair, you lifted your other hand, in which you were still holding your wand, and shouted out, “Accio Niffler!”

Everybody gasped as they saw the poor little niffler get yanked out of George’s cloak with an invisible hand and then go flying pell-mell through the air towards you –

“Damn it, no!” George shouted. “Don’t let her get it!”

Lee made a grab for the niffler, but he missed. The niffler came flying towards you. You stretched out both your arms to catch it – when Fred tackled you down entirely onto the floor. You found yourself pinned to the floor, with Fred on top of you – and then the niffler landed on top of Fred’s head. The niffler, startled, gripped onto Fred’s hair as hard as it could with its small paws.

Surprised, Fred yelled, “What the - ? Geroff me!”

Just then, Kenneth stepped in and grabbed the niffler out of harm’s way -

“BOYS!”

It was McGonagall. With a sigh of relief, you got up. As you did, you nearly stepped on Fred’s hair. You hastily put your foot down on the edge of Fred’s jacket instead.

Fred said irritably, “Could you please not trample all over me?”

Dusting yourself off neatly while leaving a firm footprint on Fred’s jacket, you replied smartly, “Well, it’s hard when your head is so big.”

Fred glowered at you.

Meanwhile, Professor McGonagall began to tell the boys off.

Out of the corner of his mouth, Fred muttered, “You’re such a prat.”

You merely clasped your hands behind your back and stood proudly beside McGonagall, as she said angrily, “Fred and George Weasley, the pair of you! And Lee Jordan, I thought I told you to…” As McGonagall admonished the boys, you nodded at all of her good points and even shook her head at the boys when she did. All this time, your chest was puffed out in pride and there was a brilliant glimmer of victory in your eyes.

As McGonagall shepherded the boys into her office to hand out detentions, Fred gave you a massive stink-eye and the finger. In return, you gave him the sweetest, most kittenish smile ever before you went flouncing off to Kenneth’s side to pet the cute niffler.

* * * * * * * * * *

Five minutes later, Fred came out of McGonagall’s office, only to find you telling off a second year for flying a Fanged Frisbee in the hallway. You were holding a stern finger up as you said seriously, “You could really hurt someone, you know, or damage a painting.”

Fred rolled his eyes. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you tightly. Then, he said to the second year, “Go on, get out of here.”

“Wait – what? No, come back!” you shouted, but Fred had you all wrapped up in his arms, and you found that you couldn’t move an inch.

The second year scurried away, and you called after him, “You better be heading to class! And you make sure to turn that Fanged Frisbee in!”

Pushing his head forward onto your shoulder, Fred whispered, “If you’re done being a uselessly intense vigilante, how about we go back to yours, hm?”

“Go back to mine? For what?”

“You know for what.”

“I certainly do not.”

“Well, how about a little continuance of what you started when you tackled me onto the floor? You know, when you were sitting on top of me, and I was between your legs. Or else, when I was sitting on top of you, and you were between my legs. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m not picky.”

You finally squirmed out of his hug. Turning around, you said stolidly, “Excuse me. I did not become a prefect and get my own room to fuel your debauchery, Fred Weasley.”

Fred gently pushed you back against the wall. Then, he lifted his hand and put it up on the wall, trapping you inside of his stature again. In a low voice, he said suggestively, “Debauchery? That’s what you call our love-making?”

Scoffing, you ducked out from under his arm and began walking away. As you did, you muttered, “It’s hardly love-making.”

“Oi, you come back here,” Fred called.

When you ignored him, Fred suddenly galloped forward in a most giraffe-like manner. He caught you by the arm, but you shook him off and said, “We have class, Weasley.”

“And then detention,” said Fred.

“You have detention,” you corrected him. “I would never.”

“Except you do.” Fred grabbed your arm again and twirled you around. He held up a piece of parchment and said, “McGonagall assigned me detention with you.”

At this, you lit up. Excitedly, you said, “Really?” You snatched the parchment out of Fred’s hand and read it. Sure enough, McGonagall had filled out a detention form and given Fred detention under your supervision that evening.

“Oh,” you murmured happily, clutching the piece of parchment to your chest, “this is perfect.”

“Yeah,” Fred said. “I was thinking you could just sign it now, and I could use the evening to steal back the niffler.”

You neatly folded the piece of parchment up and slid it into your pocket. “Mm,” you said lightly, “I don’t think so, Fred. After all, you do deserve this detention.” You reached up and softly brushed at your footprint on Fred’s collar. “You know that, don’t you? And even though it gets rid of my evening, too, I’ll do it. Because I’ve got a vested interest in making sure my boyfriend turns into an upstanding citizen.”

Fred wrinkled his nose and shook his head at you. “An upstanding citizen? That’s your criteria for a boyfriend? Sheesh, you’ve got problems.”

You merely smiled at Fred, so that your eyes turned into pleased little crescents. “See you tonight.” With that, you turned away from him and entered the Transfiguration classroom, where you took your usual seat next to Kenneth.

* * * * * * * * * *

After classes and just before dinner, Fred came into the spare classroom for detention –

“Late.” You glared at him. “I can’t believe you’re late.”

Fred shrugged. Leaning against the doorway, he said briskly, “All right, I’ve showed up. Sign the form now, and let’s be on our way. I’m starving.”

In reply, you pointed to a small tin bucket and a plastic knife.

Fred frowned as he peered at the items. “What are those?”

“I seem to remember your mum telling me that you and George try to use magic for everything and that you boys don’t understand the value of doing things slowly and methodically - ”

“I’m never letting you meet my mum again,” Fred grumbled.

“- to build character,” you finished. “So, here’s what you’re going to do, Weasley. You’re going to scrape all the gum off of the desks by hand.”

Fred blinked. “What?”

You rapped the desk smartly with your wand. “Get to it. I want all of these decks spotless or else, no signature for you.”

Fred scoffed. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“It’s stupid. It’s a total waste of time. It’s useless, too, when you can vanish it all by magic.”

“Tsk,” you tutted. “You’re missing the point.”

“And it’s disgusting,” Fred said loudly. “It’s other people’s gum. They spat it out of their mouths, for Merlin’s sake.”

“If you use the knife correctly, you won’t have to touch the gum,” you pointed out.

“And it’ll hurt my knees. I’m not good on my knees - ”

“Now, now, Fred,” you said knowingly, with a sparkle in your eye, “now’s not the time for false modesty.”

Annoyed, Fred crossed his arms and said resolutely, “I’m not doing this, so you better come up with something else.”

You crossed your arms right back at him. “If you don’t, I won’t sign the form, and you’ll simply be assigned another detention with me. And guess what I’ll ask you to do?”

Fred’s eyes turned into narrow slits as he glared at you. “You wouldn’t.”

You leaned back against the desk and crossed your legs. “Try me.”

Fred growled. “You’ve got a real problem with authority, you know that?”

“Oh, I do,” you said, pleased. “But for some reason, the same stupid, lanky-looking - ”

“ – Hey - ”

“moron keeps wandering under my control.” You cocked your head at him. “Why is that, do you think? Why does he keep coming back?”

Fred said nothing, merely kept glaring at you. A muscle was jumping in his jaw.

You smiled at him. But Fred knew that your smile right now was a challenge.

Fred remained totally still, except for the fire blazing in his eyes.

You, too - even though you had a seemingly pleasant smile on your face, there was an equally intense fire glimmering in your eyes.

You both faced off, neither of you willing to back down.

Then, all of a sudden – slam! – Fred used his foot to kick the door closed behind him. He strode forward and rather roughly grabbed you by your waist. “Fred!” you cried out. “What d’you think you’re doing?”

“Shut up,” Fred growled. “You’re coming with me.”

Fred quickly dragged you into the tall wardrobe cabinet in the corner of the classroom.

“Ugh,” you complained. “It’s all dusty in here!”

Fred closed the wardrobe door, accidentally pushing you against the shelves a little.

“Ah! Don’t push me like that!” you scolded him, annoyed. “My shirt, I ironed it this morning and it’s going to get all - !”

Fred abruptly grabbed you and kissed you hard enough that you leaned backwards and Fred had to wrap his arms around your waist to keep you from falling. Breathless, you unwittingly let out a soft moan as you melted his arms.

“I said to shut up,” Fred growled at you.

You only moaned again, louder, as Fred attacked your neck with kisses.

“Fine, but you know, it is love making when you moan like that,” Fred whispered huskily. He squeezed you in his arms. “As for your stupid, clean, ironed shirt – Well, you just gave me an idea as to how to make you pay for today, you little hellcat.” His hands slipped down, grabbed onto the front of your shirt and – Rip! Pop, pop, pop!

You gasped as all of your buttons came off as Fred ripped open the front of your shirt. “Fred! My – My shirt! My buttons!” You started to get angry, but before the anger could really settle in, Fred had kissed you again. You made to claw at him, but he grabbed your hand and pinned it down against the wall behind you. You let out a muffled curse word, but Fred merely grinned into your kiss. He pushed his thigh between your legs – making you moan again – and then it was too late, too wonderfully late, for you’d fallen into his warmth, and you knew that the only way to make your anger known was to give him a hell of a scratching on his back and shoulders as he made sweet, sweet love to you in that tiny, dusty broom cupboard.

Still, even if you couldn’t focus enough to give him your anger, you did manage to communicate your irritation. As Fred kissed you and rubbed your pussy through your panties, while you pushed your hands into his pants and briefs and grasped his cock in your hand, you managed to tell him off. “Y-You’re s’psed to be scraping gum off the d-desks – ah!”

“Mm, I’ve a better use for my hands and knees,” Fred whispered, while pressing his mouth hotly against your neck.

“Like what? Ripping off my clothes like some brute?” You muttered grumpily, “First, my bra – ah, yes, there, Fred, harder – now my shirt, you’re just – ah, ah! – t-terrible. No respect, I tell you. I’ve got a problem with authority? Hmpfh. You’ve got a – ah! – a p-problem with authority, mister.”

“What the hell are you on about now?” Fred growled at you, while he peppered your throat with rough kisses and sucks.

“Ripping my n-nice clothes like that, without a s-second thought,” you replied, trying to keep your voice adamant as you complained, even as you were panting heavily because Fred was rubbing your clit so, so well. “You’ve got n-no patience, so you don’t know how to – mmm – enjoy the f-finer things in l-life.”

“Well, I said I liked you better naked,” Fred grunted. “It was a compliment, so I don’t know what you’re complaining about – uhn!” He groaned just then, however, as you fisted his cock fervently.

“Tch. I spent a ton of money on that lingerie, I’ll have you know,” you muttered. “And to have it a-all ripped open like t-that – ah – without you even appreciating it f-fully. Do you know how b-bad you made me feel? One second I was – ah, ah – feeling all cute in my little lingerie, and the next second, I was just suddenly all bare. S-Stripped of my cuteness, stripped of my fun. How would you like that, huh, Fred? Ah...!”

Fred pressed his fingers against your pussyhole and rubbed your panties against you as he pressed, “I said I liked you better than the lingerie. Isn’t that better? I told you that you were beautiful.”

“Saying pretty words doesn’t cover up the fact that you ignored my efforts – mm, yes, Fred – and t-treated my gift for you s-so disrespectfully.”

“Disrespectful? I said you were beautiful -uhhhn,” Fred moaned, closing his eyes as you yanked his pants down to be able to pump your hand up and down on his cock better.

“You didn’t even enjoy it,” you whispered beratingly, as you fell onto your knees. “I thought you’d want to lavish me with kisses and shower me with affection because of how I’d dressed up for you. But no. After I went through all that trouble, all you did was rip it off - ”

“- That was me enjoying it - ”

You looked up at Fred as you positioned yourself before his cock. “Like you’re a selfish, stupid boy.”

“That bra was – It was in the way of nicer things,” Fred huffed out. He then reached out with both of his hands and cupped the air, rather rudely explaining what those ‘nicer things’ were to him.

Your eyes narrowed. “Fred, when will you learn?” You slapped his thigh, and he suddenly jolted. Looking up at him and resting your chin on his hip, you whispered, “It’s not about fucking, it’s about the lead-up. It’s about the power and the anticipation. It’s about the feeling of sex dripping off of everything before we even touch each other. The feeling of taking off a woman’s lingerie slowly, or watching the thin fabric slip down her body, and maybe even catch a little here and there – perhaps on her nipples, or on her hips…? I mean, can you imagine that?”

Fred swallowed. “Uh… I – Yeah, I can, I s’pse.” He paused, however, before he said, “But I’d much rather enjoy the tits - ”

You cut him off. “- And I gave you the opportunity to experience that wonderful feeling of sensuality, which is what gives sexuality its body.”

Fred scrunched his nose at you. “What body?”

You ignored his question and asked him instead, while poking him in his thigh, “And what did you do?”

Fred reached down and slapped away your hand.

But you plowed on and answered for him, “That’s right. You ripped it all off in less than a second and threw it away like it was a piece of garbage.”

Fred stuck to his argument, though his voice became slightly sullen. “I… I said you were beautiful.”

“That’s true,” you relented. “I’ll give you a point for that, I suppose.” You lowered your head and began to slowly lick at his cock with your tongue, while you murmured softly, “But still, think about it and tell me. Ripping off a woman’s lingerie like that, without enjoying it, without appreciating her - is that something a man would do or a boy would do? Hm?”

Fred was slowly turning pink – whether because he was embarrassed because of what you were saying or because of the pleasure he felt at having you on his knees, before him, and licking so sweetly at his cock, even he wasn’t sure.

You sighed once more, and Fred felt your warm breath pass sweetly over his cock. He gulped again. But all you said was, “Consider my position. I mean, what am I supposed to do, hm? How can I please my boyfriend when he’s so impatient? And when I try to come up with ways to teach you patience, you ignore them all, and instead drag me into dusty wardrobes to make love to me. As if all you wanted was to fuck me.” You started to lower your head again, and Fred held his breath – but then you paused and looked up at him. "But you would never be so crude, would you, Fred?"

Fred blinked. "What?"

You were holding your hair neatly to the side with one hand, and you looked up at Fred from beneath your lashes as you suddenly whispered, as if a realization had just struck you, “Do you want me to just be a hole for you, Fred? Is that what you want? As soon as you walk into my room, I’m there, waiting for you, all undressed, completely bare, no lingerie, no nothing, legs spread, pussy wet, plug in, touching myself, maybe even moaning your name, and as soon as I see you there, I would beg for you. I would cry out, ‘Oh, Fred, I need you inside me! Please, sir, please, I’m just a hole. I’m just your hole. Take me, please, I’m yours.’ Hmm?”

You weren’t even doing anything to Fred, but Fred was suddenly panting as though he’d run a marathon. His thighs were trembling slightly, and his cock had become quite hard in your hand. You noticed the way his shoulders were rising and falling quite tensely, and how he was biting down on his lower lip hard.

You barely checked your wicked little smile as you carried on. “Because a man wouldn’t want that. Oh no, he would want his woman to be just as strong and controlling as him. He wouldn’t simply want a hole, would he? No, no. Because he would know how to appreciate his woman. Only boys would be turned on by the idea of his girl waiting for him on her bed, out of her mind with want and need to be filled by her cute little boyfriend, as if all she could think about all day was her boyfriend’s handsome, hard cock - ”

You suddenly stroked Fred’s cock with your hand, and he let out a barely audible whimper. You had to duck your head for a second to hide the tiny laugh that escaped you at his reaction.

But Fred had heard you. He fell back against the wall behind him, with his head lolling slightly against the wall, and he mumbled out desperately, while his cheeks turned pink, “Stop, you’re making me all – all confused.”

“Oh, Fred,” you whispered sweetly. Nearly purring, you shuffled closer to Fred and hugged his waist and kissed his stomach. “You thought you were dragging me into this wardrobe to have your way with me, but there's nowhere you can take me where you'll end up in control. I will always be in control. You know that by now, don't you?"

Fred moaned out, while shifting against the wall and thrusting his hips slightly but aimlessly, as he was looking for your sweet little mouth to fuck, “No, I am in c-control - uhn - Only I can’t t-think and – and – baby, I need you, I need you, I fucking need you - ” He suddenly reached down, grasped your hair at the back tightly, and -

“Mmpfh!” You let out a startled, muffled cry as Fred abruptly pushed you down onto his cock. You felt your lips spread open as his cock thrust through into your mouth. You gasped in surprise, as you suddenly found your mouth crammed full of Fred’s hard, thick cock.

“Mmmm!” You moaned loudly, and Fred groaned as he felt the vibrations from your sweet mouth run up and down his cock.

“Oh, Merlin,” Fred breathed out harshly. He slid both of his hands into your hair and tangled his fingers with his locks. He pushed and pulled at your head, jerking you back and forth, pushing his cock repeatedly into your perfect little mouth. You let out muffled gasps as you took his cock.

Fred groaned loudly, “Baby, fuck!” – when you suddenly pushed Fred back. He fell back against the wall with a thump.

“Fred Weasley!” you growled. “What are you doing to my hair? You’ve been pulling at it all day!” You reached back and patted the back of your hair down.

“No, no,” Fred wheeled, while reaching for you to draw you back in, “it looks good a little messy, I swear.”

You shook your head, disagreeing entirely with him.

“No, really,” Fred croaked out hoarsely. “When your hair’s all – all messed-up like that, you look – you look… just swell.”

You nearly laughed at this outdated phrase. However, you held in your giggle and instead said seriously, “Fred, do you really think I’m swell?”

Fred nodded vigorously.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not just saying that because you’re absolutely desperate to have your cock in my mouth?”

Fred started to nod – then he paused, and began to shake his head – only to pause again and stop, confused.

You openly laughed.

Fred looked down at you. He meant to glare at you, but he only looked betrayed and defeated.

You debated in your head for a second, but Fred’s sweet little puppy expression was too much for you to handle. You sighed. “Oh well… Fine, I guess you can mess up my hair. It's not the first time now, is it?"

Fred reached out at once, but you grabbed his wrists and stared up at him sternly as you stated sternly, “Be nice. And you have to buy me a pretty hair accessory after this."

Fred nodded furiously, clearly not carrying about any future conditions, as long as he got to touch you as he wanted now. He immediately and roughly grasped at your hair again and he pushed his hips forward. You opened your mouth obediently, if not wantingly, and – “Mm!” You let Fred dictate the pace for a little longer, but soon, you were much greedier. You suddenly slipped away – Fred let out a confused sound, for he had closed his eyes to take in the utterly perfect feeling of your mouth on his cock – and you crawled forward quickly on your hands and knees. Then, putting your hands up on the wall on either side of Fred’s hips, you pushed yourself onto his cock even more fervently, gagging on purpose as you took in as much of Fred’s thick, handsome cock as you could into your mouth.

“Mmmphf!” you moaned happily. “Mm, mm, mmm!”

Fred gasped loudly. “Nngh! F-Fuck!” He started breathing quite hard, with his chest rising and falling and filling out his shirt entirely. He barely managed to look down and watch with blurry eyes as your head went up and down on his cock. Godric, she feels so good, taking me like that. What a fucking good girl. Uhnn!!! Fred moaned in his mind.

Gradually, your hands went from the wall to his hips and then back onto his cock, until your hands followed your mouth, and while your mouth was warm and wet on his cock, your hands were twisting and squeezing and going up and down –

“E-Enough! Fuck, you’re g-gonna make me cum,” Fred groaned, and he half-heartedly pushed you away from him.

You fell back on the floor, with a soft, indignant, “ah!”

Fred wondered if you were about to scold him for pushing you off like that, but all you did was smirk and say knowingly, “Trying to save your pride this time, Mr. Three Minutes?”

At this, Fred turned tomato red.

You burst out laughing. “See?” you said, pointing gleefully at him. “You can’t even deny it, can? Oh, poor Freddie – Ah! Fred!” You gasped as Fred suddenly came over, grabbed your arm, and yanked you up. He hurriedly pushed you up against the door. Then, he bit at your neck roughly as he growled, “I’ve had enough of you yapping away.”

Oh… Your eyes widened, and you felt your thighs shiver when you heard his deep, genuine growl. Still, you made your point known, as you protested, “I’m only saying what’s true!”

“Yeah, but it’s you who made me that way,” Fred huffed out. “It’s you who drives me fucking crazy. It’s you who… who…” His voice faded away as he abruptly realized that he was confessing to you.

Meanwhile, you had turned your head and were staring back at him with wide, curious eyes.

Fred blinked. What did I just say?

“Fred,” you whispered. “Is that the truth? Are you telling the truth?”

“I – No – Well - ” Defensive, Fred blurted out, “You know, instead of telling me off for thinking about pranks and pussy, maybe you should think more about boys and - ” Fred leaned forward and bit your ear, making you squirm against the door “ – mischief.”

“What does that even mean?” you said, annoyed. “That’s the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Well, no, that’s the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said ever.”

Meanwhile, Fred fumbled with the back of your skirt and thrust his hand into your panties, checking that you were still wet.

“Soaked,” he confirmed. “Fucking soaked through. You were just having fun with me, weren’t you? Tch.”

A small smile escaped you and you whispered, rather victoriously, “Well, shouldn’t I?”

Fred growled. At the same time, he impatiently pushed your skirt out of the way, tugged aside your panties, and pushed his aching cock into your tight little hole.

“Ah!” Your hands shot to the spot on the door directly in front of you. Pushing against that little spot, you arched your back, until your head fell back against Fred’s shoulder. Your sweet mouth was now open, letting out your arching cry as Fred finally stuffed you full in your wet cunt.

Fred growled into your ear, “You stupid prefect, it means you should think about me.” He reached over and yanked at your hair. “And only me. No more rules, no more expectations, no more acting stupidly ‘proper’ – just think about me, baby – taking you, being inside of you, making love to you. And think about the better course is to join me and help me with my pranks and to let loose your mischievous side, hm? I know how naughty you are, you little devil. I fucking know - ” he pushed into you so hard that your tummy and hips met the door for a moment, and you moaned lowly and shuddered against the door – “what a mischievous little minx you are. I mean, just fucking your little pussy and feeling how tightly you squeeze around me, like such a slut – I can tell you’re all bad inside.”

“Ah…” you breathed out as you felt your head being tugged back. “F-Fred… I do think about you…”

“Do you?” Fred whispered, softening slightly.

You smirked and finished, “…and how I’ll sabotage your next prank.”

Fred said, through gritted teeth, as he felt your pussy squeezing all over his cock, “Damn you. You just couldn’t let go today, could you? Huh? D’you know how long it took to get that niffler into the castle without Hagrid and Filch finding out?”

You whispered back, “No one told you to waste your time like – ah - that.” You closed your eyes and hummed, “Mmm… Yes, like that,” as you felt Fred’s cock sinking roughly into your pussy. You suddenly lifted your hips and bounced yourself lightly against Fred, clearly enjoying very much the position he’d put you in.

Fred sighed, both quite annoyed and yet endlessly pleased that you’d gone straight from berating him to voicing your pleasure at his being inside of you.

Only a second later, you reached back and impatiently tapped on Fred’s thigh. “Move.”

Irritated, Fred pushed back, “I’m trying to be nice to you. Let you adjust.”

“Don’t need it,” you said at once. “Move.” You wiggled your hips impatiently. “I said move.”

“Merlin, you’re bossy,” Fred said, annoyed. “Fine. You asked for it, now.” Grabbing your hips tightly, Fred thrust.

“A-Ah! Ah! F-Fred!” A burst of warmth blossomed deep in your tummy. Your eyes widened, and for a long moment, your toes curled in your sneakers.

Oh Godric, you moaned in your head. ‘S so deep, nngh…!

Fred groaned heavily and fell forward, pushing you up against the shelves. Unable to think straight, he leaned down and bit you hard on your shoulder.

“O-Ow, uhn, F-Fred, baby,” you muttered, feeling his teeth against your skin and also feeling your breasts and tummy sink into the wooden shelves.

“Uhn, fuck,” Fred breathed out. His hands fumbled all over your hips for a moment, before he managed to find your hands. Grasping your hands in his, he made you put your hands up on the shelves. Then, pinning you down like that, with his chest pressed snug against your back and his chin resting on your shoulder, Fred whispered, “You may have won the battle today, but I’ll win the war.”

Your breath caught – but you fought past it and whispered back, “I’ll never let you, Mr. Three Minutes.”

Fred slammed into you then and you cried out blissfully – “Ah!” and lost all sense of thought after that.

You vaguely remembered that when you started to cum, Fred disappeared from behind you. You let out a displeased cry, wanting him back at once and needing him to press his wonderfully warm body up against yours again. But then, you gasped as you realized that Fred had fallen to his knees and was now greedily pulling you to him. You grabbed at the shelves before you with your hands, but your feet had already slid back. Fred moaned loudly before he buried his face between your legs to lap up every bit of your cum, dripping sweetly from your flushed little pussy – and then to make you cum more.

You let out a long, low moan as you felt Fred’s tongue push greedily at your pussyhole – and then slip in. “Fred!” you breathed out loudly.

A muffled cry escaped Fred, as he was too busy tasting you and fucking you with his tongue to give much of a coherent reply.

When you came again, Fred pressed his face against you so deeply that he pushed your entire body forward, and you felt yourself sliding into the shelves.

“Fred!” you complained, but he wrapped his arms around both of your thighs and kept your anchored there.

At some point, Fred had gotten quite good at eating you out. In fact, he’d gotten much better at it than you would care to admit, and you suddenly found yourself at high risk for becoming the mindless, pathetic, whimpering puddle that you often teased Fred for becoming.

But I’m not Fred, you reminded yourself fiercely. I’m not as easily distracted, and I know how to hold onto my power and my dignity – ah! Ah, ah, ah!

You bit down hard on your lower lip to contain the feverish, wanton cries that were threatening to burst out of you as Fred, with his head buried between your legs, busily licked, kissed, sucked, and tongued your cunt to heaven.

Ohhh… you moaned in your head. I-I’m close – ah! – I’m so close… Ahhh…!

You tried to cum quietly, pressing your fist against your mouth, but it was difficult. Fred was treating you so good, like a proper queen, and whenever you came, instead of thinking it was over, Fred only seemed to be spurred on more, as he was determined to lap up every drop of your sweet cum. And whenever you pulled away be so much as an inch, to try to prolong the moment before cumming, Fred dragged you right back, sometimes pulling just your hips forward, but when you resisted at all, he pulled your entire body forward, shifting you, and he didn’t even seem to notice.

“Fred – This isn’t – I wanna – Let’s find a – a proper b-bed,” you moaned loudly, as fifteen minutes later, your elbows were rubbed raw as you kept shifting back and forth against the shelf that you were leaning over.

“Nuh,” was all Fred said, before he put his mouth back onto your pussy and at the same time, reached up to rub your clit with his slender, handsome fingers.

You cried out loudly – and your cries echoed slightly in that tiny, enclosed space. Your legs trembled all over and then, after a while, your feet began to slip over the stone floor because of how much you were shaking.

At one point, when you came, your legs buckled and your thighs bowed together. Fred had to shift back for a moment, and he whined as he realized he wouldn’t be able to have you cum on his mouth this time. But all you said was, “Shush, puppy, this is your fault, so you – you have to – to wait,” and he waited patiently for you to find your strength and open up your legs for him again.

As soon as you managed to split apart your shaking thighs away, Fred pushed his face back between your thighs. “Mine, mine, mine,” Fred growled, while biting and kissing you all over your thighs and tonguing your pussy roughly. “Mm, yes. You’re so pretty, baby. All wet and shaking…” He let out a furious, deep growl as he buried his head between your legs.

You let out a choked whimper and bowed your head to huff out heavy breaths.

And then, finally, when you were dizzy and blurry and shuddering from cumming so much, Fred stood up, grabbed your hips, and pushed his aching cock back into your aching hole – and you both gasped desperately, so terribly and wonderfully overwhelmed by how sensitive you’d made each other and how fucking much you still wanted each other.

“Nnghhh…” you bleated out tiredly.

“Baby - ” Fred began worriedly. His own voice was hoarse, as he started to say, “If you want to st - ”

But you snapped back at him, “D-Don’t you dare stop. I s-swear to Merlin, if you stop now, I will kill you, Fred Weasley.”

That was, of course, exactly what Fred wanted to hear. So, he thrust right back into you, ignoring his own burning muscles – and you moaned appropriately, taking into your pussy as much of Fred’s hard, needy cock as you possibly could. And you loved it, you fucking loved it, because it felt so good, yes, but also because it was Fred, and in your heart of hearts, you wanted and needed Fred to be as close to you as he could possibly be.

“F-Fred,” you huffed out.

“What?”

“D-D’you think it’s n-normal for two people to – ah – w-want each other so much?” you wondered aloud, even as you felt Fred’s cock pounding into you from behind and you knew you wanted more. “And a-all the time, too?”

Fred merely replied, in total honesty, “D-Don’t care, baby, I want you,” and kept going.

“But I r-really meant to give you d-detention tonight,” you stuttered out.

“You didn’t mean for this to happen?” Fred whispered hoarsely.

You shook your head.

“You didn’t mean to end up in a dusty wardrobe, with your neat shirt all ripped open, your thighs drenched with cum, and your little pussy getting fucked so hard it definitely belongs to me, your boyfriend?” Fred panted out, as he rutted into you.

You shook your head harder. "No, I even got up - ah - early to i-iron my shirt. It wasn't - I didn't think you'd r-ruin it like t-that."

"Well, you should have thought ahead, shouldn't you?" Fred said, rather meanly. "You know what happens to dictators and devils, don't you? They fall. They get their comeuppance."

"But I'm - I'm an angel," you murmured back.

"Mm, I don't think so," Fred said knowingly. "With the way your pussy gets all tight for me - no, I wouldn't ever call you an angel." He leaned over and bit your ear softly. He whispered lowly into your ear, "Hellcat" - and then he thrust into you.

"Ah!" you gasped.

"Bend over more on the shelf," Fred told you. He pushed his hands down against the arch of your back and said impatiently, "C'mon."

"Don't push, Fred," you said irritably. But even as you told him off, you dutifully leaned over, until you were nearly pressing your cheek against the shelf. In so doing, you naturally pushed your hips and pussy out slightly more.

Fred quickly grabbed your hips again and he pushed himself back into you. He groaned loudly as he felt his cock burrow deeper inside of you than before. Fuck, she's tight... Mm, she takes me so well, my girl, he moaned in his head. All tight and wet. And I'm gonna cum in her. Gonna fill her up with me. Yes... Yes, yes, yes!

Oh - oh - ohhh! Godric, he's so deep in me! you gasped in your head. A series of desperate moans fell from your lips, “Uhn… Uh… Uhn!”

Fred was now hitting you deeper and deeper, and he quickly lost himself in the utter ecstasy of pounding your sweet, warm, and tight pussy. He was holding your hips so tightly and, having pressed you up against the shelves, you had no place to go, and when Fred glanced down to see his broad hands covering your shapely hips and your shoulders shivering all over as you made every effort to hold yourself together as Fred fucked your cunt, it made his head spin with how much he wanted you.

Fred praised you breathlessly, “Mm, baby, has anyone ever told you that you look fucking perfect, taking my cock so well?”

To which you replied, irritatingly rationally, “N-No, why would anyone e-ever say that to – ah – me?”

“Well,” Fred scoffed, “they should.” And he proceeded to snap his hips forward, slamming his cock inside of you.

“Ahhh!” You moaned and arched your back – and Fred fell in love with you all over again, thinking that you looked absolutely stunning like that.

“There you go,” Fred whispered lowly. He ran his hands appreciatively all over you as he fucked you, and both of your cries became more and more hoarse and needy until –

“Uhn!”

“Mmmmm!”

Fred kissed you messily all over the back of your shoulders as he came inside of you, and you, still leaning forward onto the shelves, took it all like a champ – letting Fred lean on top of you and kiss you and at the same time, taking in every bit of his hot, white cum in your tired little pussy.

Then, Fred whispered, “Sign the form, baby. After all, you have made me work tonight. On my knees and everything…”

“W-What…?” you mumbled tiredly. Your entire body felt feverish, and your pussy was still pulsing, and you could feel Fred’s cum inside of you, filling you right up.

“Here.” You felt Fred push something into your hand. The next second, Fred pressed into you slightly, with his chest against your back, and his hand wrapped warmly around yours. You felt your hand move… You blinked your eyes open tiredly and looked to see that Fred was guiding you to sign your name on the detention form, confirming that he’d finished his detention duties.

Oh… No… you thought. I meant to hold onto this for much longer… It was my ‘call Fred in for the evening’ ticket. I didn’t want to let go of it so soon.

“Fred,” you bleated out. Only – snatch! Fred grabbed the paper out from under your hand and he stuffed it into his jacket pocket.

“Thanks, love,” he whispered. “But I’ll leave you a little ‘thank you’ gift in your pocket, all right? Open it when you can.”

“Hm?” As the buzzing slowly faded from your blushing body, you realized that Fred was fixing your clothes for you. As you watched, he took something out of his own jacket pocket and put it in yours.

Fred came over to you and helped you put on your shirt and jacket. When he helped you button up your shirt, you looked up at him. You weren’t sure what kind-of gaze you gave him, but Fred paused, leaned down, and kissed you again.

It was a long kiss, and surprisingly soft. You found yourself quite surprised at how Fred was suddenly taking his time with you, lavishing your mouth with soft, sweet kisses. His hands were at your waist, but he was holding you quite lightly. You could feel his palms grazing across your waist through your shirt… You slowly wrapped your arms around Fred’s shoulders and tilted your head slightly. Fred followed you well, still only kissing you gently, but pressing his lips to yours for a long, long time. At some point, the two of you began to breathe together, taking in air at the same time while keeping your mouths pressed together in a rather dreamy fashion.

Wow… Your head spun a little, not with how intense it was, but how intimate it was. You felt yourself getting dizzy all over again. Oh, but why…? What’s going on? Startled, your heart suddenly skipped a beat. You quickly stepped away from Fred, breaking the kiss.

Fred stood there, breathing quite heavily. He was thinking the same thing as you were: What the hell was that?

Um, it must just be the aftermath of such intense sex, you told yourself, as you quickly got dressed. But even then, you knew that that wasn’t true.

You quietly patted down your hair. “Should we – ahem – Should we go back?” you asked, trying to sound like your normal self.

“Yeah…” Fred’s voice was soft. His normally playful tone of voice had melted into a strangely patient tone. And even his tall, lanky stature seemed less arrogant, and rather quieter and more centered.

He suddenly seems... dependable. Like someone I can rely on, someone I can imagine being by my side, through thick and thin, for the rest of my – You swallowed hard, and you cut off your thoughts. No, what am I saying to myself? Godric, I can’t – I can’t seem to think straight.

All of a sudden, you blurted out (even though Fred wasn’t actually standing that close to you and wasn’t moving towards you in the slightest), “That’s enough, Fred! No more. Don’t be so pathetic.”

Fred blinked. “Huh?”

You said adamantly, “You’ve got your detention form signed, so let’s – let’s get out of here!”

You wrenched open the wardrobe door and left first.

“Hey, wait, I’ll walk you back,” Fred called after you.

But just then, you stuck your hand into the wardrobe and held up your index finger. “No! You stay there and count to one hundred before you come out of there. And next time – gum!”

Fred’s nose crinkled in total confusion. However, you were already gone, and Fred had to stay there, in that dark, musty wardrobe, and wait until you were gone. He didn’t count to one hundred, but he did think about you and by the time he was done musing over your blushing face and strange personality, it was much longer than one hundred seconds.

Reckon it could easily be a whole lifetime, Fred thought, as he finally opened the wardrobe door and stepped back out. But then, a satisfied smirk passed over his face as he realized, Well, I don’t know what the hell that was at the end, but I did get what I wanted from that. Not only did I get her to sign off on my detention form without me scraping off gum, but I wonder when’s she going to notice the other little tricks I played on her… We’ll see. The normal bounce in his step had fully returned by the time Fred left the classroom. He immediately slipped into a secret passageway, intending to meet George and Lee to steal back the niffler.

* * * * * * * * * *

You sat next to Kenneth at the dinner table.

Kenneth looked over at you. “Hello.”

You smiled pleasantly at him. “Hi, Ken.” You waited to see if he’d notice anything about you.

Kenneth only sipped his goblet of pumpkin juice.

You let out a quiet breath of relief.

But then, he said quietly, “You’re missing a button.”

You looked down – and sure enough, you could see a glimpse of your tummy due to a missing button. You quickly covered it with your hand.

“And your hair’s sticking up in the back.”

Ah! You dropped your plate and reached back over your shoulder. Fred yanked at it quite a bit today, didn’t he? you though, as you hurriedly patted down the back of your hair. He’s really bad at treating me nicely. Well, except for whatever that was at the end… When he fixed my clothes for me… And that soft kiss… Anyways.

You looked over at Kenneth and said, with a small smile, “Thanks.”

Kenneth shook his head and said something under his breath, but you didn’t quite catch it.

You started to ask him what he had said, when Kenneth held out a thick envelope to you. It was stamped with “Ministry of Magic – Official Invitation” on the front.

Your eyes widened. “Oh, Ken, it isn’t - ?”

Kenneth nodded. He held up a second, identical envelope. “Yes. I got mine, too. McGonagall left yours with me. She said you were busy supervising a detention and asked me to give – whoa!”

Kenneth started when you flung your arms around him and squeezed him in a hug. Then, you grabbed the envelope from his hand and eagerly ripped it open. “An interview! They want to interview us for possible Wizengamot internships!” You looked up at Kenneth and beamed. “We’ve got to do well! We can drill questions together and study the Wizengamot’s history, structure, and policies.”

A slow smile passed over Kenenth’s face. “Yeah,” he agreed, “that would be a smart thing to do. Let’s do that.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“It is kinda cute, isn’t it?” Lee was lying on the floor of his, Fred, and George’s dormitory, while dangling a piece of lettuce in front of the niffler they had managed to steal back. The niffler was decidedly uninterested. Instead, the niffler started sniffing at a small button on Fred’s desk. Fred, who was pulling out the draft order from for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes from his desk drawer, noticed.

“Oi, that isn’t yours. Paws off,” Fred muttered, shooing the niffler away.

“Yeah, well, don’t get too attached,” George cautioned. “You can’t keep it as a pet. Unless you come with Fred and me to start out shop in two months. What d’you say, Lee? You’ve helped us make all of our stuff, helped us test it, and helped us set up shop. Come with us, mate.”

At this, Lee groaned and turned over onto his back. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. My mum would kill me.”

“So? Our mum’s going to kill us and then dig us back up just to Avada Kedavra us again,” George said knowingly. “Join the club.”

Fred looked over the order form. They were nearly finished with figuring out all of the pricing again. But when he made to flip over the form, he realized that he’d also accidentally pulled out the copy of their lease agreement.

Lee was still speaking. Now having picked up the niffler and put him on his stomach, Lee complained, “Yeah, but you’ve got siblings who’ve already done good by your parents. Me, I’m all by myself, so if I don’t do things right, my parents think the world’s coming to an end and they blame themselves and, it’s just… ugh! - “

Just then, Fred interrupted, “Hey, George.”

“What?”

“This lease… It starts in two months.”

“Yeah.”

“But what if we start the lease without starting out physical store?” George paused. “What d’you mean? It’d be stupid not to use it as soon as we can. It’s too expensive to justify using it as only a storage place. And it’s not like we can rely on staff to run it when we haven’t set anything up ourselves. I mean, let’s face it, if we don’t do well, we won’t be able to afford staff beyond us two - ”

“- And me - ” Lee interjected.

“Yeah, but you’re not joining for another two years,” George said.

Lee sighed, and the niffler, who had been unable to find anything shiny in the boys’ dormitory, sighed with him.

George looked back at Fred. “Don’t you want to open our store? I mean, it’s all we’ve been waiting for for over a year. I thought you couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.”

“Yeah, of course,” Fred replied. “I do want to get the hell out of here. And it’s the dream – to have our own store and actually start selling our products.”

George nodded. He came over and clapped a hand on Fred’s shoulder. “We’re so close, Fred. We’re really almost there.”

Fred grinned. “Yeah, I know.”

“Oi, Lee,” George called.

“What?”

“Stop moping around and help finish up the prices,” George said.

Fred, who was holding the order form, tossed it at Lee.

Lee sat up, grumbling, “Don’t order me about, when I’m the only one who can manage to figure out the prices.”

Fred was now holding just the lease agreement. He stared at it, and his grin faded slightly. He slowly put down the agreement and his eyes flickered over to the drawer where he’d just put away your button.

Behind him, Lee murmured thoughtlessly, “Hm… punching telescope. How much went into making that?”

“Not much for the actual construction,” George replied. “Just crossed the blueprint of the mechanisms of a regular ol’ jack-in-the-box with the blueprint of the shell of a telescope, and there you have it.”

“How much for creating the permanent ink?” Lee asked. “I assume a lot because it’s a novelty - ”

“Nope,” Fred said lightly. “Didn’t cost a thing.”

“Really?” Lee said, surprised. “How come?”

“Because,” Fred replied, “I know someone really, really smart.”

“Did you pay this person?” Lee asked seriously.

Fred thought about it. “I deposited a bit of payment into her pocket today… But it was more of a ‘thank you’ gift than anything else.”

Lee shrugged. “Okay, then, moving on.”

Fred smiled slyly to himself. Yeah, it’s a ‘thank you gift’ all right. In truth, Fred was now secretly waiting for you to come to him, in what he hoped would be a heightened state of fury.

All’s fair in love and war. Putting his feet up on the desk, Fred whistled lowly as he thought affectionately, And with my little hellcat, I’ve somehow managed to find both.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #fanfic #fanfiction #fred weasley smut #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #joke's on you

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valentineforlemonandcherry · 5 months ago

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Joke's On You Part 23

[Fred Weasley x Reader.] [Warning: Story Contains Explicit Smut.] [Warning: Non-Consent.] [Warning: Manipulation.] [Warning: Humiliation.] [Warning: Light Bondage.] [Warning: Slight Voyeurism/Exhibitionism.]

Note: Part 23 does not contain any smut.

Note: This is the official last chapter for Joke's On You. The reason why it took so long to release this is because I couldn't stop writing more episodes of Fred and Reader one-upping each other and falling in love. I basically cut out about five extra chapters of their time together, but I felt for story purposes (pacing) that it was time to bring this story home. At some point, I will release the extra chapters, but for now, I really hope you enjoy the finale of Joke's On You. Thank you for sticking with the story, and especially to the original readers that encouraged me to keep going. How funny is it to think that it all started from a one-shot?

*Please do not repost or copy my work without my permission. Thank You!

⍟ Click Here for Joke’s On You Home Page (All Chapter Links) ⍟

As soon as you woke up the next morning, you felt a wonderfully light feeling in your heart. Smiling, you murmured, “Fred? Can you show me how to get to the kitchens? I loved those heart-shaped pancakes that they had yesterday, and I want more.”

There was no reply.

Maybe he already woke up and left. Although that would be odd. He never wakes up before me. You sat up in the bed and turned your head.

Sure enough, Fred was up. He was sitting on the other side of the bed and staring at the wall.

Confused, you waved your hand in front of his face. “Um, Fre - ?”

Fred grabbed your hand and gripped it hard.

You started, surprised. But sensing that this was serious, you quickly got a hold of yourself. “What’s wrong? Are you ill? I’m right here. I’ll help - ”

Fred shook his head furiously. “No, this isn’t about me.”

“Then what? Tell me.”

“You tell me – what is this?” Fred turned your hand towards you, so that you were looking at the back of your hand. Your heart jumped, for you saw that the bandage was half torn-off, and there was still the dark red scar, spelling out the words, I will repent for my irresponsibility.

Fred growled, “What the hell is this? Who did this to you? Just give me the name, and I swear to Merlin - ” You pulled your hand away and pressed the loose end of the bandage down.

Fred’s usual cheerful eyes were blazing with fury. His shoulders were extremely tense, his jaw taut, his mouth pulled into a serious frown that even you had never seen before. In short, his entire demeanor spelled murder for whoever had caused this.

You knew that Fred, much like yourself, did not respond well to being told what to do. So, you tried to defuse the situation by keeping your own energy as calm as possible. You kept your voice steady as you said, “It’s not a big deal - ”

“Not a big deal!” Fred suddenly exhaled, as if to stop himself from exploding any further. Still, his voice was angry enough as he exclaimed, “You’re hurt! What the hell happened?”

You fell silent. I don’t want Fred to know that it’s Umbridge. If I tell him, he’ll retaliate, and I don’t want him to get into any more trouble. What if Umbridge gives Fred the same detention she gave me? I couldn’t bear seeing these marks on Fred, and the thought that it would be my fault makes me feel physically sick. Finally, you said quietly, “It’s my right to decide whether to tell you something or not. This was something I could handle by myself, okay?”

Fred was completely taken aback by this. “What? You – You don’t want me to know?”

You saw Fred’s brow furrow, and an entirely different kind of anger – one that was shot through with hurt - began to take place inside of him. Oh no, he’s misunderstanding. He thinks that I don’t trust him. Trying not to hurt Fred’s feelings, but unwilling to confess what happened, you said, rather hesitantly, “It’s not that I don’t know want you to know, necessarily…” You reached out to him, trying to touch his face.

Fred avoided your hand. Drawing back, he looked at you with a complicated gaze. “Then what? I said I’ll keep you safe. Don’t you remember? I promised you. So why aren’t you telling me when something’s bad happened to you? When someone’s hurt you? What good am I if you can’t trust me right now?”

Your heart thumped painfully in your chest. You scooted up to Fred’s side. “I do trust you,” you said softly. “It’s just…” Your voice faded away, and you reached for Fred again, slowly, so that he could reject you if he wanted. But Fred, with a soft sigh, reached for you, too, and he pulled you into a tight hug. The second you were in his arms, you knew you were safe. You breathed out slowly. Oh my god… I’m home. Your heart kept thumping heavily in your chest, so much so that you wondered if Fred could feel it against his own chest. In your mind, you prayed, Please don’t let me hurt Fred. I know he’s only trying to help me. But this isn’t his battle to fight. Besides, he has his future already lined up for him – 93 Diagon Alley. That’s where he should go, and soon. And I can’t follow him there. I only want to make the sweetest of memories with Fred. I don’t want there to be pain between us. Please, Merlin, keep him from any pain. You whispered, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, and I’m really sorry it startled you this morning. But I wasn’t hurt, and it wasn’t a big deal. I promise.”

Fred loosened his hug just enough to be able to see your face. You managed to smile at him, but he could tell that you weren’t completely there. You saw a thousand thoughts flash through Fred’s eyes, but he chewed on his lower lip before he finally said, “Let’s go to the hospital wing.”

You cocked your head at him. “Why? It’s all healed. The scabs look awful, I know, but they’ll disappear in a week or so - ”

“I’d rather they be gone now,” Fred said, a tinge of his anger bleeding into his words.

You touched his cheek. “Please don’t be so angry with me,” you whispered. “It’s hard enough without you being mad at me.”

Fred blinked. “Huh? I’m not - Why in the world would I be mad at you?”

“Then you’re not yourself.” You pressed your hand against his cheek. “Come back.”

Fred slowly let out a breath. You shifted forward, nestling back into him.

“I’m not mad at you,” Fred said, speaking softly now. “Sorry if it came off that way. It’s just that the thought of someone hurting you is – is kind-of unbearable. And the thought of you having that insane nonsense on your body is driving me a little crazy.” He blinked at you. “Don’t you want it gone?”

You hesitated. Of course I do, but I can stick it out. I’m past the worst of it, anyways.

Seeing you considering, Fred quickly negotiated, “If you let me take you the hospital wing, I’ll show you how to get into the kitchens.”

At this, you brightened. “Heart-shaped pancakes?”

“With strawberries.”

“Let’s go!” you cheered enthusiastically.

Fred gave you a half-smile, and he stood up from the bed while still holding you. In fact, he insisted on carrying you up to the hospital wing like a princess.

* * * * * * * * * *

When Madam Pomfrey spotted Fred carrying you in, she bustled out of her office at once. “What is it? Broken leg? Broken foot?”

“Er, no…” You held up your hand.

“Broken hand?”

“Not quite.”

Madam Pomfrey was very confused when you explained that your ‘injury’ consisted only of some scratches on the back of your hand because Fred had carried you in so carefully that anyone would have guessed that you had suffered a serious injury that hindered your ability to walk.

Madam Pomfrey cautiously suggested, “Well, if it’s healing fine on its own, then - ”

Fred cut in, “Could you just look at it?”

Madam Pomfrey looked from you to Fred, then back to you.

You gave her a small smile. “Please?”

Madam Pomfrey sighed. “Fine. Let me see.”

However, when Madam Pomfrey peeled away the bandage and recognized the words on the back of your hand as dried cuts, her mouth turned into a thin line. “It’s healed nicely, but we can certainly do more to… complete the healing cycle. Just one moment, dear.” She left to retrieve a Potion.

As you settled down on the hospital bed, you noticed Fred glaring furiously at your hand. You slowly covered the scars with your other hand. Trying to keep the mood light-hearted, you reminded him, “Now, remember, you’re to show me where the kitchens are after this. I want those heart-shaped pancakes.”

Fred let out a hard breath. “Fine, yes.” He started to pace beside your bed, when suddenly, he whirled around. “Was it Malfoy? It was, wasn’t it? That greasy little git. That’s why he was pressing himself up all over you that one evening, whispering some stupid shit into your ear. I swear to Merlin, Godric, and all the holy ancestors, he’ll pay for this.” He sprang up onto his feet, with his hands already balled up into fists.

“No!” You hurriedly reached over and yanked Fred to you, pulling him down onto the bed beside you. “It wasn’t Malfoy. Stop jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m not jumping to anything,” Fred retorted. He started to say something else, but Madam Pomfrey had returned.

“Weasley, step away,” she instructed. “None of that in my hospital wing.”

“We weren’t doing anything bad,” you said honestly.

“Well, you’re too close together for my liking,” Madam Pomfrey said, setting the potion down on the tray beside your bed.

“Is he?” you mused. Fred started to move away from you.

Knowing that Fred had every intention of finding Draco, you reached out and grabbed his hand tightly in yours. When Madam Pomfrey shot you a look, you smiled brightly at her. “I’m sorry, Madam Pomfrey, but I like having him near me. He’s my boyfriend, you see, and I feel better when he’s next to me.”

Madam Pomfrey shook her head and barely kept from rolling her eyes, but she let you hold Fred’s hand as she treated the scars on the back of your other hand. Meanwhile, you mouthed at Fred, “Don’t you go anywhere.” Fred sighed, for he recognized that you were keeping him from going after Draco, but he couldn’t help except to listen to you and stay there, letting you clutch his hand as Madam Pomfrey treated you.

* * * * * * * * * *

Fred kept to his promise and took you down to the kitchens. You gasped in delight when you saw the tower of heart-shaped pancakes that the house elves had made. They were just about to send them up to the kitchens, but they were happy to shave a couple off of the top for you. In turn, the house elves were thrilled that you took such joy in them and they began to tell you about all of the other foods that they could make heart-shaped versions of.

“Chocolates, misses, and fruits!”

“Amazing! And what else?”

“Sandwiches, miss. We can make sandwiches all heart-shaped if we want to, miss.”

“That’s wonderful. How about cakes?”

“Oh, those are the easiest - cakes and biscuits and the like!”

“Well, that’s just delightful,” you said, and all of the house elves beamed at you.

A tiny, quite young house elf crept up to you and whispered, with his big eyes bulging, “Would missus like a heart-shaped cake?”

You smiled at him. “Oh no, that’s all right, I don’t want to trouble you - ”

“It’s no trouble! Breakfast is done now, and Kippy has a whole hour before lunch work begins.” With that, the house elf went zooming off.

You looked up at Fred with wide eyes. “I didn’t mean to make him bake a whole heart-shaped cake just for me.”

Fred chortled. “Yeah, you’ve got to be careful what you say to house elves.”

Only fifteen minutes later, you had a glorious heart-shaped cake in your hands, topped with luscious, whipped cream and garnished with pink and red heart sprinkles and fresh strawberries. You thanked Kippy so much that he burst into tears and Fred had to pull you away.

* * * * * * * * * *

After that cheerful breakfast, you and Fred headed back up to your dormitory room, where you set the cake carefully on your desk. You turned around to see Fred sitting on the edge of your bed, still looking a bit moody. You sighed quietly. He’s not going to let this go, is he? He’s trying to be considerate, but it’s really bothering him.

You walked up to him. When Fred looked at you, you ran your hands through his hair and then pulled him towards you into a warm, loving kiss. Fred put his hands on your waist and kissed you back, all the while pulling you into his lap. “Mm,” you murmured softly, as you traded kisses with Fred. Then, you whispered in a low voice, “Are you always so intense when you’re angry?”

Fred scrunched his face. “What? I’m not being intense. I’m holding back.”

“I know you are, but you’re still… very intense.”

“I’m just – I don’t want to pressure you but – What am I supposed to do if you don’t trust me?”

You nuzzled his cheek with your nose, as you confessed, “I trust that you’ve got my best interests at heart and I trust that you’ll protect me, but I also trust that you’re going to fully lean into your pranking, thieving, and generally deceitful skills to get said justice - ”

“- Well, sure - ” Fred agreed instantly.

You tapped your finger on the end of his nose as you finished, “ - And I don’t want you to go and do something foolish just because of me. I would hate that so much.”

Fred lifted his eyebrow at you. “I think you underestimate my ability to be stealthy. Not everyone is as good at catching me in the act as you, hellcat.”

You laughed lightly. “True, but my point still stands.”

Fred sighed. “Morals are too inconvenient. When will you learn that?”

“Really?” you said, in a voice of mock innocence. “I find that morals are only ever convenient. Take repentance, for example – that’s an excellent moral value, and I found it very convenient on New Year’s Day.” As you spoke, you gently stroked his wrists, reminding him all too clearly that you’d had great fun tying him up that night and seeing him squirm all over his bed in his stupid little pajamas…

“All right, all right,” Fred said, annoyed.

You giggled and made to stand up, when Fred suddenly slipped his hands out, only to grab your wrists instead. Keeping you in his lap, he said, “Can I just ask you one thing?”

You nodded.

“Those words – you know they aren’t true, right?” Searching your gaze, Fred pressed, “I mean, those words didn’t actually affect you, right? You didn’t repent for anything, right?”

You hesitated. “No, I… didn’t repent for anything.” But even you could hear the uncertainty in your reply.

Fred growled, and he squeezed your wrists.

Ah, no, why did I have to sound so uncertain? you admonished yourself.

“Fred, no,” you said hurriedly, trying to rectify your slip-up. “I didn’t repent, okay?”You slipped your hands away and then quickly hugged Fred around his neck. “So don’t worry about it. Please.”

Fred could feel how tightly you were clutching onto him, and he realized that you were genuinely worried about what he might do if you were honest with him. I’m trying to protect her, but she’s getting anxious because of me. I have to calm down. He took a deep breath and tried his best to relax. “Fine,” he muttered.

“Good,” you whispered, petting him lightly at the nape of his neck. “Thank you.”

“But you listen to me,” Fred said. “You can keep me in the dark all you want, but I will find out about what happened, and then – it’s a free-for-all, all right?”

“No,” you stressed, and you bit Fred on the shoulder. “Bad boy.”

Fred winced slightly, but he muttered, “That doesn’t work on me anymore. Remember, I’m your boyfriend and not your boy toy.”

Laying your head on his shoulder, you blinked up at him and said softly, “Does that mean you’re immune to my pleas, then?”

Fred looked down at you, and his gaze fell on your honest, sweet expression – or so it appeared, anyhow. He could also recognize the glimmer of mischief hidden away in your seemingly innocent eyes, and he saw the cute little half-truths just waiting to fall from your soft, pretty lips. God damn it, why does she have to look like a fucking angel when she’s trying to manipulate me?

Your lips barely moved, as you whispered, “You didn’t answer me, baby. Does nothing I do charm you anymore? Isn’t there anything I do that still excites you or am I going to have to tie you up and spank you to - ?”

Fred cut you off with a sudden kiss.

“Mmpfh! Ah…” you moaned. Your head tilted back slightly, and Fred reached over and grasped the back of your neck, holding you to him as he kissed you fervently.

A long minute passed, and when Fred paused, you were both breathless. Fred muttered, in-between rather ragged breaths, “Shut up. You know I’m still head over heels for you, so shut the hell up.” He rested his forehead against yours, and you felt his breath pass pleasantly across your cheeks.

You laughed lightly, though your breath caught a little. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to admit it just like that. In fact, I’m a little disappointed.”

“What d’you mean?” Fred asked, opening one eye to give you a skeptical glare. “Weren’t you trying to squirm a confession out of me? Isn’t that what you live for, you little hellcat?”

“Mm, no,” you said honestly. “Actually, I was getting rather excited about the prospect of having an excuse to tie you up and spank you properly. I do miss having you on a leash, you know, and seeing you pant like a little puppy for me. You have the cutest little mouth when you pant.” You paused and suddenly pressed your thigh against Fred, and he let out a sharp exhale. You smiled sweetly at him. “Like that.” You gave Fred another kiss, ignoring his now rather icy gaze. “You’re so cute,” you whispered to him, kissing his cheeks all over.

“Whenever I think you’ve given up on your nonsense, it comes roaring right back again,” Fred sighed, shaking his head a little.

“As if you have a leg to stand on, with your stupid pranks,” you mumbled, still pressing kisses across his cheeks. “And may I point out that my so-called ‘nonsense, which is actually brilliance, is kept private, between two willing participants, whereas your dumb pranks implicate innocent bystanders, like the professors and other students.”

“Nope,” Fred said, rejecting your argument, while letting (and rather liking) how fervently you were kissing him all over. “In your case, I’m the innocent bystander getting sucked in.”

“That’s definitely not true,” you breathed out, as you nudged your way down to then press your lips against his neck. “I always ask for consent. The whole fun of it is watching you shamefully beg for me. That requires that you say ‘yes’… just, I prefer you on your knees, blushing and sobbing as you do it.” You sat up again and looked at Fred with an innocent gaze. “Is that really so bad?”

Fred’s eyes fell to your lips, which were quite pink now, from having kissed him so much. Feeling himself flush, Fred resolutely looked away from you.

Knowing that you had the upper hand in this argument by his silence, you smiled cheekily at Fred and you ran your finger teasingly down his chest. “So, you’re still head over heels for me, eh?”

“Shuddup,” Fred grunted, and then he all but shoved you off of his lap.

“Fred!”

Fred got up, ignoring your grumbles about “being treated like a sack of potatoes.” Just then, he spotted something on your floor. He leaned over and picked up a tiny pink feather. “Oh look, from your glorious canary days.”

“Huh?”

Smirking, Fred waved the feather in your face. “You made for a good bird.”

You frowned at the feather. “I don’t recall any such horrendous event,” you said flatly. “

Fred grinned. “You really did squawk like one, it was great. Lee and George were highly impressed with you. They told me to offer you a position in our little crew – as our mascot.”

You flicked the feather out of his hand. “The three of you could never handle me.”

“Well, not as a human being, no,” Fred replied immediately. “But that’s why we think that it would work out better when you’re a bird. The offer’s conditional on you being a bird.”

A mascot… For their shop. You absent-mindedly ran your fingers through your hair.

Fred paused, realizing how quiet you were. “What, no comeback? No witty retort? Finally ran out of them, have you? Took you long enough.”

“Only you would think that they were witty. It’s just normal conversation for me, Fred. I’m sorry you find it hard to keep up.”

Fred’s mouth fell open.

You giggled at how stupid he looked. You got up from the bed and stretched. “Let’s do something fun today.”

“Like what? Not studying,” Fred replied mockingly.

“No,” you said sincerely.

“Then what?”

You thought about it, tapping your finger on your lips. “Hm…”

“Do you want to pray or commit a conspiracy?” Fred asked, coming over and lowering his head to peer into your face. “With you, both are equally possible.”

You smiled at this. “And would you help me do either one?”

Fred grimaced. “I prefer the latter, but sure, if you insist, and if…” He ran his hands lithely along your waist and hips. “… you make it worth my while.”

You shrugged. “I can make you cum without even taking my clothes off, so that’s easy.” Annoyed, Fred started to retort, when you decided, “I want to learn how to make a firework.”

Fred paused, honestly surprised. “Really?”

“Yes.” You looked up at Fred, tilting your head. “Will you teach me?”

Fred grinned, and to your relief, you saw his usual, overly confident spirit flare up again. “Teach you? Yeah, baby, I was born for this.”

Good, you thought, I’ve distracted him from the marks on my hand. Thank Merlin.

* * * * * * * * * *

Fred told you to go down to the grounds and wait for him. Meanwhile, he went up to his dormitory room to gather a few supplies. George and Lee were both there. When Fred entered, George said, “Good timing. Need you to sign a form.” He thrust a piece of parchment forward, and Fred caught it. It read, “Final Release Form for Lease for 93 Diagon Alley.”

“Once the owners confirm this contract, we can start moving in right away,” George said. “That gives us about two weeks to prepare everything. Sound good?”

Fred took the parchment over to his desk and signed it. “Yeah, that sounds… great.” He handed George back the parchment. Then, he started to gather items for fireworks and put them all in a big bag.

George and Lee exchanged looks.

“Fred,” George called.

“What?”

“How come you’ve got all that fireworks stuff?”

“I’ve got an interested customer.”

“In our raw materials?” George frowned, confused.

“Yep.”

“What kind-of customer is that?” Lee chortled. “Maybe it’s someone interested in straight-up arson. Be careful, Fred.”

“Arson, blackmail, conspiracy – I’d say she’s already an expert in all that stuff,” Fred agreed. “Anyways, I’d better get going. Antsy customer, y’know. Don’t want her to change her mind.”

* * * * * * * * * *

When you saw Fred coming towards you, you stood up and smiled at him. “There you are. I was wondering what was taking you so long – Fred? Fred! Fred!” You screamed as Fred lit up a firework in his hand and promptly began running towards you.

Fred laughed as he chased you with a firework. You were not in the least amused and dashed about, screaming, “Fred Weasley! You put that down! Down, I said!”

“You shouldn’t put a firework down,” Fred said smartly. “Else you’ll blow up the ground! Like you did, when you dropped that firework and stranded yourself in a tree, stupid.”

You flushed, and you meant to retort, but you were too busy dodging Fred, running this way and that. Godric, he’s fast! you thought, puffing as you reached the limit of your stamina. Guess he’s not a Quidditch player for no reason. Stupid, lanky Fred Weas - Aargh!

“Gotcha!” Fred reached out and grabbed your arm. You squirmed and tried to slip out of his grasp, but Fred, with a hard grunt, anchored you to his side. Finally, keeping you safely tucked against him, Fred let the firework go. It flew into the air and exploded in a puff of harmless smoke and sparkles. You coughed and flailed about dramatically as smoke enveloped you for a moment.

“Calm down,” Fred said, rolling his eyes at you.

Instead, you rummaged in your pocket and pulled out a familiar piece of cloth.

Fred recognized it at once. “Hey, isn’t that the smoke-free cloth I used to carry around with me?”

With the cloth over your nose and mouth, you replied, “Yes. You gave it to me, remember? You set off those fireworks as an excuse to pull me aside.” As the smoke cleared, you took the cloth away and smirked at Fred. “And then you begged me to let you make love to me.”

“I don’t remember any such thing,” Fred replied.

You came over to Fred and playfully stroked the side of his face with the cloth. “Oh, but I do. You were so desperate, so needy. Your eyes were all bright with want, and I swear to Merlin that you were blushing, like some lovesick little puppy.”

“I was not,” Fred retorted, scoffing. He made a grab for the cloth, but you darted away, quick as a whip, and danced out of his reach. Shooting him a wicked, sly grin, you sang, “You begged me, you said, please, oh please, won’t you at least look my way? Won’t you let me make love to you?” Coming back to him, you slung the cloth around his neck and recounted brightly, “And when I said no, you cried.”

“You’re totally making this up, you loon,” Fred said, grabbing your hand to stop you from wrapping the cloth around his neck. “Anyways, c’mon, I’ll show you how to make a firework.” As he pulled you along, he looked back at you and remarked, with a merry glint in his eye, “And you better listen to me, else you might end up stranded in a tree again, kitty.”

You scowled. “Will you let that go, Weasley?”

Fred shot you a grin and chirped, “Nope. Not in a million, billion, trillion, bajillion years. Now, come along.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Fred led you into an open glade in the Forbidden Forest. The glade was large enough that the fireworks wouldn’t catch on any trees, yet the trees surrounding the area were high enough to ensure that any lit fireworks wouldn’t be seen by anyone at the castle.

“All right.” Fred pushed up his shirt sleeves and pulled out a number of items from a large bag that he’d brought.

Oh my, he has nice arms, you thought. You also found yourself admiring how bright his ginger hair looked as it fluttered about in the bright sunlight and light wind. Mm, he’s a cute one, all right.

“There’s some basic rules that hardly need saying…” Fred paused, as he caught you staring at him. With a proud smirk, he continued, “But I guess I’ll say them anyways, since I’m evidently so good-looking.”

“Hm?” you said thoughtlessly.

“Pay attention so you don’t blow your own head off,” Fred said, and he patted the ground next to him. “This is serious stuff, y’know. Not like studying.” You squatted down next to him and put your chin in your hands.

“First off, no matter what, don’t let the gunpowder mix with anything else and make sure the compartments inside the firework structure are tightly fitted. Second, don’t ever point the firework tip at yourself.” Fred looked over at you. “Got it?”

“Sure,” you said dreamily, resting your chin in your hand. “I’ll make sure to point it at you.”

Fred reached over and flicked your forehead. “Stop being a smart ass, I’m trying to teach you something important here.” He shook his head.

You hid your pleased smile behind your hand, as you felt ever so pleased with how seriously Fred took fireworks and how un-seriously he was taking you. Still, when Fred started to construct the first firework, you rolled up your own sleeves and paid close attention.

* * * * * * * * * *

Three hours later, there was a pretty pile of fireworks on the ground, all of which you and Fred had put together. Working in the late afternoon sun, you were both sweating quite a bit and had all sorts of dust and powder streaking your hands and faces, but you couldn’t be happier.

At one point, your hair flew into your face, and Fred paused when he heard a loud, “thbwtt-tt” as you tried to spit your hair out. He came over and messily tied your hair back. You looked awful, with half your hair up and half your hair down, and your part all messed up, but you didn’t care one whit.

At another point, you noticed that you were running out of the pink coloring agent for your firework, so you went over to Fred’s bag and began to rummage around. To your confusion, you pulled out a top hat.

“Fred?” you called. “What’s this?”

Fred practically bounced over to you, excited as all hell, as he announced, “That’s my latest invention! Look!” He grabbed it from you and put it on his head. Then, he lifted it –

“Nothing’s there,” you said.

Fred held up a finger and then poked you in the cheek. “Patience, you.” He set the hat down and lifted it again. You gasped, as a rabbit appeared, blinking awake. It looked right at you and began to twitch its nose and whiskers. Fred set the hat down, and lifted it again – and the rabbit was gone. Your mouth dropped open.

“Nice, eh? It took a good bit of Charms work to figure it all out, and George, Lee, and I had a hell of time asking Flitwick for help without letting him know what we were up to.” Fred grinned at you and spun the top hat on his finger, clearly showing off.

“That’s marvelous!” you said, awed.

“Thought you’d like it,” Fred said, as he carefully put the top hat away.

“So, you’re not against cute inventions?”

Fred looked back at you, confused. “What kind-of question is that? A good prank’s a good prank – whether it’s cute or not, who cares?”

“Really?” You clasped your hands together.

“Yeah, really.” Fred cocked his head at you. “What’s going on in that head of yours, hellcat?”

“Well, I was just thinking...” You sidled up to Fred, putting your arms around his shoulders. “That you could develop a whole line of products centered around cuteness and love.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Fred said. “I said I don’t care about whether a prank’s cute, I didn’t say that I’d want to purposefully make stuff cute.”

“Just listen for a second,” you said, squeezing him in your hug. “Imagine a range of love potions, all decorated with sparkly charms and - ” you caught sight of Fred’s expression and quickly amended, “all right, forget the sparkly charms. But imagine love potions, only they’re hidden in chocolates, or else a love potion that seems to act fine, but then gives the drinker a comical voice. Or maybe daydream potions, where the drinker drinks it and they get to be in a little lovey-dovey world of their own for ten minutes, or – or – oh my gosh, you could sell Pygmy Puffs! Most pet stores don’t sell them because of how little and pesky they can be - ”

“Kind of like you?” Fred said dryly.

“But I’ve always wanted one! They’re so cute,” you said, now completely lost in your own thoughts.

“I don’t know if they would fit with the rest of our products, though,” Fred said.

You looked up at him and said softly, “For me?”

Fred meant to scoff, but he found himself pausing because, despite your exuberant voice and cheerful smile, your eyes were strangely… sad. He blinked. What…? He suddenly wondered, even though he knew it was nonsensical of him to think this - Does she know? Does she know that George and I are planning to leave in just a couple of weeks?

No, she can’t know, he thought quickly. The only way she would know is if she found our order form, but if she’d gotten her hands on one of those, she would have reported us already. And yet, there you were, with that soft knowing smile that told Fred that you would always be one step ahead of him. Shit, does she already know, and that’s why she’s being so soft today?

You tugged lightly at his arm. “Fred?”

“What?”

“I’m not saying you really have to do it. I’m just saying – if you’re ever bored, you could maybe think about it.”

“Uh, sure,” Fred replied. He tried to look once more at your face, but you ducked your head and instead placed a kiss on his chest.

“Anyways, a couple of more fireworks, and we should have a good show on our hands!” you said excitedly, and you bounded away from him and back towards the fireworks.

There was one tiny little mishap, however, when the hot sun began to heat up all of the fireworks, and your very first firework, which unfortunately had a tiny slit between the compartments, allowing the gunpowder and the other agents to mix a little, began to sputter.

Fred heard it first, for he recognized that soft spt-t-t-t sound all too well. He, George, and Lee had all heard it a million times before. He raced over to you and yanked you back from the pile.

“Fred - ?”

“Sh!” He looked carefully at the pile and noticed a tiny firework about to take off. He hurriedly pointed his wand at it. “Wingardium Leviosa!”

The firework rose into the air, away from the other fireworks. Then – POOF! It went off in a cloud of pink fumes and sparkles. You shouted in surprise as Fred deftly held you in front of him as a shield. “AH!”

As you found soot raining down all over you, you suddenly realized, “Did you just use me as a shield?”

Fred immediately let go of you and ran swiftly to the other side of the meadow. You grabbed an empty bottle and threw it after him, but he was long gone. You yelled after him, “You jerk!”

“Hey, I saved you!” Fred yelled back breathlessly, still keeping a safe distance from you. “You were about two seconds away from having your top blown off!” He paused. “Although, I guess I wouldn’t have minded that too much. You do have a very nice set of tits – ouch!” A second bottle, courtesy of you and your fabulous right arm, had sailed through the air and knocked Fred right on his clever little head.

“Aw, c’mon,” Fred groaned, rubbing his head. “It was a joke – or a mistake – or whatever you want to call it, but don’t get mad.”

“I’m not.” As you spoke, you started to carefully set up a line of fireworks, all pointing towards Fred.

“Hey, hey,” Fred began, holding his hands up. “You just said you wouldn’t get all pissy!”

“And I’m not,” you confirmed. “I never get mad and I certainly do not get pissy.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then what the hell are you doing now?”

Setting the last firework in place, you stood up and put your hands on your hips. Staring expressionlessly at Fred, you said quite matter-of-factly, “Cool, calculated murder. Got a problem with that?”

Fred crossed his arms back at you. “You wouldn’t.”

“The situation says otherwise,” you supplied dryly.

“What would you do without me, hellcat?” Fred challenged you.

“I’d carry on per usual,” you said flatly. “How do you think I’ve lived after I’ve killed off all the boytoys before you?”

“The – The boytoys before me?” Fred sputtered, suddenly quite disarmed.

“Poor suckers. I killed them all, one by one. I had to, of course. For my reputation. No boytoy is worth my future.”

Fred paused, shifting back and forth on his feet. But then, he planted his feet firmly on the ground and said knowingly, “Nah, but I’m different.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. You’d miss me too much to be able to kill me.” Fred smirked at you. “I’m the most fun you’ve had since you were born. I know you, you stick-in-the-mud, goody-two-shoes weirdo. You’d miss me for sure if you killed me. Like a hero without a villain, or an artist without a muse.”

You scoffed. “As if. Why would I miss you?”

Fred began to scowl, and then to pout.

Oh, I can’t tease him when he looks all upset, you thought. With a soft sigh, you relented, “I’m not going to miss you when I’m going to be waiting for you, right on the other side, silly. Did you forget that I’m an angel?”

Fred’s pout disappeared, as he realized that the only reason you weren’t going to miss him was because you were going to be with him there, too. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to stop a smile from spreading over your face in reply.

Just then, an unexpected voice sounded out. “Oh, was there a planned execution? I must’ve missed it on my calendar.”

You whirled around to see Lee and George strolling into the meadow. George was carrying an empty bag in one hand, and Lee was carrying - You gasped upon seeing the familiar creature in Lee’s arms. “I thought it was confiscated!”

“He,” Lee corrected you, lifting up the niffler. “And he was, but we got him back.”

“How?”

“Not important.”

George put down the bag and pulled out his wand. He pointed his wand at the fireworks, all of which moved to point upwards at the sky, instead of towards Fred.

“Thanks, mate,” Fred said, and he loped back towards you, George, and Lee.

“What happened to you?” George asked, looking you up and down, as you were entirely covered in soot.

“Better not to ask - ” Fred began.

“Him,” you cut in, while pointing a furious finger at Fred. “He happened to me.”

“And that’s why you pointed all those fireworks at him?” Lee guessed.

You nodded, and Lee laughed as he watched you glare at Fred, still annoyed.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Fred scoffed. He reached over and pinched your cheek. “I did save you. Besides, you look like a grumpy old toad when you pull that face and I’m sick of looking at it.”

You let out a long breath. “Oh, fine.” You sidled up to him, as if to make nice with him, but instead, you just rubbed your face all over his sleeve, using his shirt to clean your face.

“So fucking petty,” Fred muttered, immediately followed by an “OW!” as you bit his shoulder hard in payback for his comment.

“Godric, you two are the same level of psycho,” Lee remarked. “Are you sure you’re dating?”

“Well, it’s the only way to keep her from killing me,” Fred muttered, rubbing his shoulder.

“That’s right,” you said proudly. “And don’t you forget it.”

Lee gave you an amused, if not impressed, look. “I thought you were just the upstanding prefect, until you started dating Fred. And then I just thought you tolerated him for some unknown reason. But you’ve got a streak of mischievousness, too. And pettiness.”

“I do not,” you said, brushing yourself off in a dignified manner and oblivious to the fact that Fred was slowly inserting twigs into your messy ponytail. “I’m simply handing out just deserts. If I seem mischievous or petty at all, it’s because it’s the only language that this numbskull - ” you jerked your head at Fred, and he quickly pulled his hand away “ – can understand.”

Lee thought this through, before pointing out, “But if you’re spending all of your time focused on giving Fred his just deserts, isn’t that you just chasing him around? Isn’t that just – dare I say it – an infatuation?”

Fred perked up, while your eyes turned into slits as you glared at Lee. “Yep,” Fred drawled, trying to hide how pleased he was at Lee’s comment. “Yep, yep, yep. That’s exactly what it is – an infatuation. She’s simply obsessed with me. Aren’t you, hellcat?”

You replied, in a short, tight voice, “The two of you are missing the point entirely. It is not infatuation by any means. It is simply justice. If you can’t see that - ”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s call a spade a spade, and get it over with.” Fred grinned as he slung his arm around your neck. “You love me, you want me, you can’t get enough of me.”

Rolling your eyes, you pushed Fred off of you. Fred chuckled at you as you walked away from him.

“Anyways, I wanted that top hat you were working on, Fred,” George interjected. “Going to make a copy of it for safekeeping. Don’t know what we might lose in the move.”

“Ah. Right.” Fred shot a quick look after you when George mentioned the word “move,” but you thankfully didn’t seem to hear George’s comment at all. Although, Fred thought wryly, that may be less because hellcat’s playing cool and more because she’s in yet another petty fight. The niffler had decided to latch onto your hair pin and you were having a hell of a time getting the niffler to let go.

“Stop it!” you said to the niffler. “Let go, now!”

“Grrr,” the niffler growled, refusing to unclamp its tiny claws from your sparkling hair pin.

“You grrr,” you replied angrily, sounding like a five-year-old.

As you tried to pry the niffler’s paws away, the niffler bit at your fingers. You called out, “Lee, a little help here?”

Lee chortled. “Nah, I think you’re handling it just fine on your own.”

“Her? Or the niffler?” Fred asked.

Lee shot Fred a wink.

Just then, the niffler managed to slide the hair pin out of your hair. He fell to the ground in a heap, but straightened himself out at once, and quickly shoving the pin into his pouch, he scampered away at once.

“Wha - ? You come back here!” you yelled. “Give that back!”

Lee clapped for the niffler, while George smirked at you. And, in a quiet voice that nonetheless was crystal clear to your ears, Fred murmured pleasantly, “Niffler – two, crocodile – zero.”

Fuming, you said, “Fine! Have it your way, then!”

You made to storm off, and Fred took that chance to turn to George and say, “Hey, while you’re down here, would you mind lighting these fireworks for us? I want to take her up the hill a ways, so she’ll have a clear view.”

George meant to sigh, but when he saw his brother’s expression, he instead put a hand on Fred’s shoulder and said, quietly and seriously, “Sure.”

Fred nodded his thanks and then he ran off to catch you – you, who were already stomping back towards the castle.

“Oi!” Fred called to you. “Wrong way, idiot!”

“What?” you shouted back, annoyed.

“The hill with the view is that way! You aren’t going to see anything from the castle!”

“See what? The three of you and the niffler making off with my family fortune? No, thank you!”

“No, all the fireworks that we made, you numbskull! We’re saving your family fortune for later!”

At this, you paused. “You’re going to set them all of the fireworks off, now?”

“Yeah!” Fred said impatiently, “Now are you coming to see them or not?”

You folded your arms and turned around to stare hard at Fred.

Fred tapped his foot impatiently at you. “What’s there to think about? Come down here!”

“I’m thinking about whether a fireworks show is worth my dignity,” you replied honestly.

Fred rolled his eyes. “‘Course it is! ‘Specially when it’s Weasley Wizard Wheezes’ fireworks show!”

You still thought it over. “How many did we make?”

“Seventy.”

You squinted at Fred, not trusting him. “Really?”

“No idea, but it was a lot.”

You sighed. “Fine! I’m coming. But I’m not coming for you, I’m coming to see the fireworks!”

“I know, I know, just hurry up!” Fred called. Then, he watched as you came towards him – first walking, then jogging, then sprinting full on, right towards him. He opened his arms and you sprinted right into him, knocking the breath right out of him, and he didn’t care one whit. Laughing, Fred took a moment to kiss you. Then, wiping the remaining soot tenderly from your cheek, he said, “C’mon, let’s hurry! George and Lee are waiting for us.”

You nodded. Fred took your hand and the both of you ran way, way up the hill, away from the castle, to get the best spot from which to see all of your fireworks – the pink pigs with wings, the nifflers with gold coins, the silver ones spelling out ‘POOP’, the violet ones spelling out ‘REPENT,’ the red canaries surrounded by sparkling hearts, the Cupid figures carrying little golden bows, and the huge crocodiles that opened their mouths wide and went snap! into an explosion of merry greens and golds – burst into the air in the most dazzling display of lights.

“I can’t believe how clear they are,” you said, in awe, trying hard not to blink as you didn’t want to miss even a second of this incredible display. “It’s broad daylight, but they’re all so clear! How?”

Fred reached over and pulled you into his side as he said, with a confident, happy smirk on his face, “That’s magic, baby.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Afterwards, as you were helping to clean up and pack things away back into the bag, Fred’s gaze briefly fell onto your hand again. Fortunately, the scars were now gone, but Fred still felt furious about it.

George swatted Fred on the shoulder with the top hat. “What are you thinking so hard about, huh?”

In a low voice, Fred told George about the scars on your hand. George’s mouth turned into a grim line.

“The last thing that I want to do is to push her,” Fred explained. “But Godric, it bothers me that someone did that to her and I can’t – I’m not doing anything about it.”

George sighed. “I know what those scars are.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, Ron and Hermione told me that Harry has scars just like that on the back of his hand. His said ‘I shall not tell lies.’ It’s what she does, apparently, to students who ‘break the rules.’”

Fred’s brow furrowed. “Who?”

“Umbridge.”

Fred’s eyes flashed.

Lee, who had helped you get your hair pin back from the niffler, came right at the end to catch the tail of the conversation. “What, are we ganging up on Umbridge?”

“Yes,” Fred seethed. “We are. And not some tiny little prank, either. I’m going to kill her. I’m actually going to Avada Kedavra her right out of - ”

“Don’t Avada Kedavra her. I mean, c’mon, that’s not very original,” Lee said casually. “You can have much more fun than that. You’ve got the perfect opportunity to go all out on her if you want to, after all.”

“What d’you mean?”

“I mean, you two are out of here in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So, let’s put our heads together and figure out how to destroy Umbridge on your last day, where you won’t have to face any consequences.”

Fred looked over at Lee. “But what if you get into trouble? You’ll still be here.”

Lee shrugged. “I can handle it. If you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re the weakest of all of us, Fred.” In his arms, the niffler squeaked in agreement.

Just then, your irritated voice broke into the conversation as you called, “Hey! How come you’ve got a map of the prefects’ hallway in your bag? And how come my and Percy’s rooms are marked with red ‘X’s? And how come you’ve marked the timing of our shifts? And – hey! Why is my room labeled ‘Satan’s Hellhole?’”

* * * * * * * * * *

When you and Fred made it back up to your room, the two of you played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would get to shower first. Or at least, you pretended to indulge Fred in this little game. However, as soon as Fred stopped walking and put his hand out, you bolted for the shower.

“Oi!” Fred yelled, but you had already locked the door behind you.

“Why should I have to play for my shower?” you said loudly. Just then, you turned around and saw no less than six twigs sticking out of your hair. You let out an audible sigh.

“Something wrong?” Fred called innocently.

You ripped two of the twigs out of your hair before saying back, in as sweet a voice as possible, “No, honey.”

And Fred knew he was done for.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sure enough, when you came out of the shower, all clean and blushy and soft-looking, you made a point to slip your towel off in front of him. Crossing over to your dresser, you flung four or five panties over your shoulder and onto the bed, next to Fred, before you pretended to sigh and murmur, “Nothing cute enough. Oh, well, guess I’ll just go… bare.”

Before Fred could comprehend what was going on, you’d slipped up onto the bed, grasped his arm, and pressed yourself against him. Rubbing your thighs together slightly, you looked up at him and murmured, “Your turn.”

“I – uh – I think I’ll shower a bit later,” Fred said, gazing at you with nothing short of complete desire. His hand was already trailing up your thigh.

You frowned. “But you were so eager to take a shower. I showered quickly for you. I didn’t take my time as I usually do. I usually like to lather on a bit of a strawberry soap at the end to wash here - ” You gently touched your breasts and then let your hands float down your curves “ – and here. You know, just to have that soft…” You let your hands slide over your tummy and drift tantalizingly over your blushing thighs. “…touch… that you like so much.”

“Yeah, uh, right, soft, uh - ” Fred was murmuring some absolute nonsense as he shifted closer to you.

You bit your lower lip, trying to hold back your laughter. “What, Fred?” you murmured.

“Um, I…” Fred slipped his hands on your hips and began to run his hands up and down. “Oh, Gods,” he moaned, feeling your pretty frame all over. He made to grab your hands, as they were resting on your thighs, but then, as smoothly as though you were made of water, you slid out of his hands and rolled neatly over on the bed.

Pulling the silk blanket up, you covered yourself. Resting on your stomach, you lifted your legs and crossed them, so that the silk sheet abruptly fell down your legs and onto the small of your back, revealing your hips, your ass, and your pussy. “Well, go on, take a shower,” you repeated, blinking softly at Fred.

With quite a hazy look on his face, Fred dumbly pushed himself up on his side on one elbow and he stared at you as you hummed, twirled your finger in your hair, and gently crossed your legs in the air.

Fred had to swallow, to combat his suddenly quite dry throat, before he croaked out what he thought was but a humble suggestion. “Before that, though, uh, maybe you’d like me to, you know, kiss you…”

“No,” you said at once. You sat up, and the front of the silk sheet fell too, catching for just a moment against your soft, perky nipples.

Fred moaned softly. But all you did was reach out with your foot and give Fred a gentle shove as you told him, “Get in that shower, Fred.”

“But, baby - ”

“No ‘baby,’” you corrected him. “‘Baby’ is busy, Fred. She’s busy pulling twigs out of her hair.”

Fred suddenly popped up from the bed, and a scowl replaced his hazy look. “Is that what this is about?”

You shrugged. Then, you suddenly whispered, “Oops, I forgot about those…” and the next second, you got up from the bed, with your sheet still dangling around you, and you went around picking up the panties you’d thrown before. You quite intentionally spread your legs as you bent over the bed each time you had to reach down… Once, you made to reach down to grab your panties, but your hand kept going and you found yourself slipping your fingers over your pussy. Tightening your thighs around your hand, you lazily stroked your fingers against yourself and then, still bent over like that, you threw your head back softly and let out the prettiest little moan…

“Christ,” Fred growled.

Still bending over to show off the perfect heart shape of your hips and ass, you looked at Fred over your shoulder and whispered, “Go take a shower, Freddie. A long shower, and then, maybe by the time you come out, I’ll have forgotten about what an inconsiderate, pompous jerk you are and I may decide - ” reaching back, you gently spread your ass cheeks to show Fred your waiting pussy “- to let you have me. How does that sound?”

Mind spinning, Fred hurriedly went to your bathroom. Grumbling, he closed the door and turned around, only to find that you had laid the twigs down in a perfect heart shape on the bathroom countertop and in the foggy mirror, you had written, “Weep and repent, Freddie boy.”

Scowling, Fred reached over and wiped the message off. He made to take off his clothes and hang them up, when he saw, already hung on the bathroom hooks, a pretty pair of your panties and a small tag on them, on which you had scrawled in eyeliner – Never for you.

Fred slammed his hand against the door and moaned loudly. He was so fucking hard for you, and it felt embarrassing, and worse of all, he now had to go into this stupid shower and go through the stupid process of washing up when you were just outside, prancing about all naked, with your stupidly perfect face and your stupidly angelic eyes and your stupidly charming voice and –

Fred suddenly yanked open the bathroom door and shouted, “Curse you, hellcat!” Then – slam! – the door shut and the shower turned on.

Outside of the shower, you fell over with laughter, clutching your sides and trying to keep your overflowing giggles to a minimum as you realized how perfectly your trap for Fred had worked. He’s so silly, you thought, wiping tears from your eyes. If he only had a shred of maturity of any sort, this wouldn’t affect him at all. Oh, Godric, he’s so foolish… and cute… You spread the silk bed sheet back onto the bed and then put the pillows back in place. You patted your pink pillow lovingly, knowing that Fred was going to sleep there tonight – if he doesn’t explode first, you thought happily.

You got dressed. Then, you quietly slid under your bed, meaning to give Fred a good scare. Only, when he came loping out of the shower, wrapped in a fluffy pink towel of yours, once he saw that you weren’t in the room, he ran over gleefully to your closet and hid inside.

You clapped your hand over your mouth to keep from making a noise, but you couldn’t help yourself – the giggles turned into wheezes and then into choked laughs and finally, Fred poked his head out of the closet and spotted you, waiting for him just as he had been waiting for you.

“You little rascal,” Fred said, coming out of your closet. He came over and pulled you out from under the bed. The two of you fell onto the bed, sitting up against the bedframe side-by-side.

You smiled up at him brightly and said softly, “Great minds think alike, huh?”

“Yeah,” he replied. But a second later, he added, “But no one ever talks about the flipside of that.”

“Which is?”

“That not-so-great minds must think alike, too. You know, since you’re not included in the ‘great minds,’ you’ve got to be on the other end, the idiot end, and they have to have a common factor amongst them too, by definition of them not being great.”

“Huh…” you said thoughtfully. “That’s a fair point.” You patted Fred’s cheek and murmured lovingly, “Some self-awareness at last.”

Fred rolled his eyes at you, and you smiled brightly back at him. “Fine, whatever, have your stupid little victory,” he mumbled.

In a soft voice, you murmured, “That’s all I ask.”

Fred slid down from the bed frame onto the bed so that while you were still sitting up, he was now lying down. Fred let his head slip onto your thigh.

You whispered, “You know I adore you, don’t you, Fred?”

Remember that, you thought. Please remember that once you’re at 93 Diagon Alley.

“‘Course you do,” Fred said, yawning. “I’m brilliant.”

You smiled. Softly stroking his hair, you murmured, more to yourself, “I guess you can just think about pranks and pussy, after all…”

“Huh?” Fred mumbled out sleepily.

“Nothing. Sh… Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered. You lovingly touched his cheek, letting your warm fingers drift over his face…

Fred let out a soft, sleepy noise of content as he slowly fell asleep.

You quietly lifted your wand and Summoned your textbook. You read up on some chapters as you let Fred sleep on top of you.

But after a few hours, you realized that it was nearly time for your study date with Patricia.

“Fred,” you said softly. “Let go of my leg.”

“Mm,” he mumbled, not opening his eyes.

You shook your leg a little.

“Sh…” Fred berated you, still holding onto you.

“Fred, I’ve got to get up.”

“Shush,” he murmured softly, “haven’t you ever seen someone trying to sleep?”

“But I have to go to my study session with Trish.”

Fred groaned. “Are you still on about studying, of all things? Merlin, do you never learn? It’s all rubbish.” While he spoke, you finally managed to pry Fred’s hands off of your thighs and you slipped away.

Fred sighed, but he let you go. Instead, he buried his face against your soft, pink pillow and as you left, he called out, “M’ gonna slobber all over this pillow while you’re gone!”

You laughed quietly as you shut the door behind you. Go ahead, Freddie, I consider that pillow yours, anyways. It’s your spot, on my bed, and I’d like you to be there always.

* * * * * * * * * *

“I’m so glad we aren’t fifth years,” Patricia commented, watching all of harried-looking fifth-year students poring over their books at the library. “O.W.Ls were the worst, weren’t they?”

You nodded in agreement, but you also looked at Patricia with an amused look. “You got eleven O.W.Ls, Trish.”

Patricia pulled a face. “Yeah, but they were hard to get. That’s what I’m saying.”

You smiled at her. “Come on,” you beckoned. “There’s an empty table over here.”

About an hour later, Kenneth and David joined you, and the four of you studied in quiet.

But then, a cocky voice floated out over your heads. “Ah, studying to be my apprentice?” A second later, a happy, freckly face popped up over your shoulder.

You shoved Fred’s face away at once. “Quiet, Weasley. I’m studying so that I can pass stricter regulations on your stupid products.”

Fred chuckled. “Do the Wizengamot know that your aspiration is to be a stone-cold dictator? ‘Cause last I checked, our form of government is a representative democracy.”

“Who cares?” you muttered shortly. “As long as there’s justice.”

A stunning silence followed your words, and David cleared his throat awkwardly.

Ah, shit, you realized abruptly, I forgot I wasn’t just with Fred.

Fred was smirking lightly at you, while David, Kenneth, and Patricia were all staring at you in earnest worry and disbelief.

“Er – a joke,” you said, cracking a pained smile at them. “I made a joke.”

“Oh,” Patricia said.

Fred grinned. “Actually, I wanted a word with you, hellcat. Got a minute to spare from staging your coup?”

You sighed and got up from the desk. “Fine.”

Fred walked away, towards the shelves in the back and you followed him. As you did, you realized that his shirt tail was sticking out. Just before he turned around, you reached out and grabbed it.

“Oi, what’re you doing?” Fred said.

“You should properly tuck in your shirt, Fred.”

Fred remarked cheekily, “But I like you holding onto me.”

You rolled your eyes at him as you tucked in the back of his shirt. “What did you want with me?”

Fred paused. The way you phrased it sounded so… “Well, that’s a long discussion,” Fred said, biting his lower lip.

You swatted him on the shoulder. “Don’t. We’re in a library.”

“What, I can’t have dirty thoughts in a library? What about when you hid under a table and sucked my cock for - ?”

“Shush,” you said, pressing your fingers against Fred’s mouth. “All right, I’ll rephrase. What did you come to tell me?”

Suddenly, the cheekiness disappeared from Fred’s demeanor. “Right,” he said softly, murmuring gently against your fingers. You let your hand drop away, only for Fred to reach down and grab it in his. He quietly ran his thumb along the back of your hand. You stood there silently, knowing that he was smoothing over the area where Umbridge had once etched those awful words on you.

“Fred, I’m all right,” you said gently.

“I know,” he replied. “I know you are.”

You reached up and brushed Fred’s hair back. “Are you all right?”

Fred took a moment before he nodded.

You gazed at him, realizing that it wasn’t quite true. You felt your heart slowly begin to sink… I always knew… But it doesn’t hurt any less. You leaned forward and rested your forehead against Fred’s chest, hiding your face from him.

Fred was silent, just holding you, and that was your biggest indication of what was to come.

“Fred,” you mumbled, with your eyes still closed.

“What?”

“Do you remember, when we were in the wardrobe and you were being a sleazy butthole and feigning your way out of a proper detention - ”

“It wasn’t a proper detention. You had some stupid chore planned for me.”

“ – you gave me a kiss that was kind-of soft, a teeny bit romantic, not at all like you… Remember that?”

Fred replied wryly, “Yeah, but if you were about to ask me to kiss you like that again, I think that last line ruined your chance.”

“Mm,” you said softly, with your eyes still closed. “Well, fortunately, I know just how to pick my chances back up.”

Fred scoffed, but then, you lifted your head and, getting up onto your tiptoes, you pressed yourself into him and kissed him. Grasping his tie, you gently pushed him backwards until Fred’s back thudded lightly against the nearest bookshelf. You slid your hand onto Fred’s cheek and slipped your thumb into his mouth. He let out a soft breath and you paused for a moment, simply sharing that moment with him, before you pulled your hand away and kissed him again, softly yet quite tenderly.

“Ah,” you breathed out against his mouth. “Yes, I’ve wanted you like this. You’re mine, sweetheart. All mine…”

“I know,” Fred murmured back softly. “I know you love me.”

“Yes,” you agreed, barely whispering. Still, he heard you. You smiled a little, even though something in your heart was hurting rather badly. Don’t, you reminded yourself. Be strong. Be happy. Only good memories. Closing your eyes, you kissed Fred again, and you let your lips brush up against his softly for a moment before you turned your head and caught his lips in a deeper kiss. “Mm…”

Fred let you pin him against the shelf, but after a moment, he ran his hands lightly up and down your sides, admiring your shape and loving that he got to hold you. The two of you shared another lengthy, soft kiss that made both of you go slightly dizzy. If we go any further, I won’t be able to stop, you realized. I’ll become selfish, and I don’t want to do that. Settling back onto your feet, you murmured, “I’ve got to go back. Stage my coup.” In your head, you added, And you’ve got to stage yours, haven’t you, my love? You’ve got to figure out exactly how you’re going to leave me.

Fred fell back against the shelf again, catching his breath. For a moment, he wasn’t able to look at you. Staring up at the high windows of the library, through which the evening sunlight was coming through, he said, “Listen, tomorrow evening, around five o’clock, could you go to the Astronomy Tower?”

You looked at him curiously.

“Bring your anti-smoke towel with you and avoid Gregory the Smarmy’s corridor on the way up,” Fred instructed.

You hesitated. “Are you luring me into a trap, Fred Weasley? Out to catch yourself an alligator, are you?”

Fred smiled at you, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Then, suddenly, he grabbed your waist and he pulled you to him so strongly that he nearly swept you off your feet. You gasped softly as you tripped forward and and your hands flew to his chest as you caught yourself. Fred kissed you roughly, almost desperately. Holding you tightly, he whispered meanly against your mouth, “Silly. What do I need an alligator for, when I’ve got a mean old crocodile all to myself already?”

“Ah…” you moaned softly, as Fred bit gently on your lower lip before kissing you hard again. He touched you all over, with his hands flitting up your back and over your shoulders before he finally buried his hands in your hair and made you tilt your head upwards a little so that he could kiss you even more deeply. Your heart was pounding; you couldn’t breath when he was kissing you like this and holding you like this. Your entire body felt aflame and you suddenly forgot how to think. But there was no need for thought, as all there was was a tender, overwhelming warmth. You forgot where you ended and Fred began and you didn’t care to question it anymore – no, you didn’t even want to contemplate that there could be difference or distance between you. Never, you whispered fervently in your mind, as you let the fire of Fred’s kiss trail all the way down your spine to your very toes. I always want to be with you and be yours. Always.

Finally, breathing quite heavily, Fred drew away from you and he set you down on your feet. You opened your eyes and stared up at him, wide-eyed. Your lip gloss was on Fred’s lips. You reached up, meaning to brush it away, but Fred shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t be late tomorrow,” Fred murmured, and he gave you a kiss on the forehead before he walked away.

Tomorrow… Five o’clock… Astronomy Tower. You slowly made your way back to the table.

“What happened to you?” Patricia asked.

“Hm?” you murmured, as you sat down in your seat. “Oh, nothing.”

“But you’re blushing all over,” David pointed out, staring at you as though he’d never seen you before.

“Am I?” You pressed your hands to your cheeks, only to find that they were, in fact, quite warm. “Oh… I suppose I am.”

“You might want to - ”

“Hm?” You looked up at Patricia.

She pointed to your mouth. “Um, half your lip gloss is gone.”

“Oh.” You reached up and wiped your mouth. “Better?”

Patricia, David, and Kenneth traded looks, wondering if they should tell you that your hair was quite frizzy and that your shirt had been pulled out of the waistband of your skirt.

Finally, Kenneth cleared his throat and replied, “Yeah, all better.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Five o’clock. The Astronomy Tower. You held that promise in your mind for the rest of that day and all throughout the day the next day. You had never been so aware of time before, to the point that you found it difficult to focus on anything else. Tick, tick, tick.

Walking into Defense Against the Dark Arts at four o’clock, you noticed that Fred, George, and Lee were absent. You took your seat next to David. Tick, tick, tick.

“You all right?” he asked you. “You seem a little…”

You smiled at him. “I’m fine. Thanks, David.”

You kept your head down all throughout class, quietly jotting down notes as you usually would. Tick, tick, tick.

At four fifty, a loud BOOM! rang out in the corridors. Umbridge paused, looking up from her desk in alarm. Then, a series of pops and bangs went off and a few happy shrieks could be heard.

“What - ?” Umbridge began. At that moment, the door flew open and Filch hobbled in. He shouted loudly, “It’s them Weasley twins again, Professor!”

“Again? What have they done this time?” Umbridge cried, leaping to her feet and running to the door.

“Fireworks, ma’am - !” Filch began, but even as he spoke, a stray firework flew into the room and – BANG! Students shouted and dove under their desks, but you merely looked up and watched as a spray of orange and red sparks rudely spell out the letters “P O O” in the air.

“Get them!” Umbridge snarled. “This is the last straw!”

“Yes, Professor!” Filch said.

Umbridge and Filch ran out into the hallway, followed by a mad dash by all of the students wanting to see what was going on. You remained calm and exited the classroom last. You stepped into the hallway just in time to see an enormous dragon, comprised entirely of green-and-gold sparks, clamp its glittering jaws directly on a screaming Umbridge. And you could see, a bit further down the hall, in Gregory the Smarmy’s corridor, that absolute pandemonium was reigning as shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter whizzed lethally through the air, rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars ricocheted off the walls, and large purple bats swooped ominously through the air, leaving behind streams of glittering black smoke behind them. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your enchanted handkerchief. Holding it to your nose and mouth, you quietly disappeared down the corridor and into the staircase. You looked behind you, and confirming that the staircase was empty and you weren’t being followed, you took off, sprinting as hard as you could all the way up to the Astronomy Tower.

* * * * * * * * * *

You hurriedly opened the door and ran straight out onto the open balcony. Sure enough, there was Fred. He was holding a broomstick in his hand. Behind him, you saw George waiting in the sky, hovering above the tower on his broomstick.

“Hi, hellcat,” Fred greeted you. "Punctual, as always."

“Hi,” you breathed out, stopping a few feet before him.

George, seeing that you had arrived, took the opportunity to swoop down to the lower stories to chuck a few more fireworks in through the windows. Loud gasps and shrieks of laughter rang out as more fireworks exploded in the classrooms and hallways.

Fred tried to smile at you, but he couldn’t quite get himself there, and his expression was closer to a grimace.

Knowing that he was finding it difficult to find the right words to say, you decided to say it for him. “To 93 Diagon Alley, huh?”

Fred sighed heavily and dropped his head. “So you already knew.”

You gave him a small smile. When Fred looked up, he caught that soft, sad smile on your face and he also saw that soft, pink heart beating nervously in your chest, as it always was, only you wouldn’t let anyone see, anyone except him. And he knew that, he knew that so well, and so when he thought of having to live without you, he found that he couldn’t – he wouldn’t – “Come with me,” he blurted out.

Your eyes glistened as you whispered softly, “Oh, Fred…”

Fred dropped his broomstick, and it fell to the ground with a clatter. He crossed the few steps to you in a brief second and he grasped your hands in his. “Listen, I get it,” he said, looking at you with utmost earnestness. “The world needs people like you. The Wizengamot will be better off once you join, I know. You’ll protect and save people who sorely need protection. You will, I know it. Even your family – they need you to prove them wrong, to prove that the magical world is a legitimate world and that you have serious things to do here.” He squeezed your hands in his tightly as he continued, “But just because people expect you to be a certain way doesn’t mean you have to be that way. I mean, you’ve got a wicked sense of mischief, and it makes you happy to be silly. I know that about you. Only, you’re always hiding it, downplaying it, berating yourself for it, blaming yourself for it. But why? When it’s the part of you that makes you so spirited and charismatic and lively?”

You stood there, biting down hard on your lower lip and trying to stop your face from screwing up as you held back the sadness that was now bleeding out of every atom of your heart.

Fred’s voice was soft and honest, as he promised, “You could be great. No doubt about that. But if you – if you were to be with me, I would never judge you badly for choosing to be silly instead – in fact, I think I would kind-of love you for it. Because you would be happy, I think. And that’s what it comes down to. You don’t have to be great. You could be happy.”

You couldn’t feel the ground beneath your feet anymore. You felt strangely fragile and intensely vulnerable, like a single seed of a dandelion, about to be whisked away to an entirely different dimension by the slightest of winds. He saw so much of you. How? you wondered. How had Fred Weasley seen so much, when all of your close friends and family had not?

Almost as though he could read your mind, Fred murmured, “I’ve said too much, huh? But I mean it – you could be happy.”

Trying your utmost to hold it together, you replied, rather hoarsely, “I am happy, Fred. I’m with you.” You squeezed his hands back. “I think I lived a little bit because of you - ” Your voice gave out, and you felt a sudden sob escape you. You hurriedly held your breath, but it was too late.

Fred blinked, shocked. “Are you – Are you crying? Wha - ? Don’t cry.”

You laughed, even as your tears began to fall in earnest.

Fred rushed to hug you. “I said, don’t cry! Gods, what the hell am I supposed to do if you cry?”

Nestling against Fred, you wiped your eyes with your sleeves. Then, pressing your hands warmly against his chest, you looked up at him and said, calmly and warmly, “I’ll tell you what you’re supposed to do. You’re supposed to go out and light up the entire world. You’re supposed to fly off with your brother now and never look back. You’re supposed to live well and be happy, with or without me.”

Fred closed his eyes at your last words. So, she’s not coming with me. Of course not. She wouldn’t be my little hellcat if she did. He swallowed hard. “I wish I’d won that tic-tac-toe game.” Opening his eyes, he looked down at you and said fervently, “I would have made you come with me now. That would have been my wish.”

“I wish you’d won too,” you replied, smiling at him. But your smile faded and your hands slowly drifted down his chest and then fell away from him. Staring at his chest, at your favorite spot in the whole world, and wishing that he could feel in his heart how much you loved him, you told him, “Be good now, Fred. And mind you run a respectable joke shop. Who knows? If it’s respectable enough, maybe I’ll come visit it one day.”

Just then, George flew back up towards the tower. “Oi, Umbridge’s on her way up!”

Fred reached over and put his hand on your face and drew you in to kiss you one last time. At the same time, he slipped a piece of paper in your front pocket. He whispered in your ear, “That dragon firework eating Umbridge alive - that was for you, you know.”

You smiled. “I know.” You pressed your hands to his face, trying your very best to remember the shape of his handsome face against your hands. You gazed at him hard, etching this memory of him inside of your heart. For one moment, we can be each other’s. Just one more moment. Fred returned your gaze, and you both stood there, openly loving each other.

“Fred!” George called. “She’s nearly there! I can see her through the windows.”

And now it’s time to let go.

Fred's brow furrowed as you let your hands fall away. “Say you were trying to catch me," he told you. "Throw a few spells at me as I leave, so you won’t get into trouble with Umbridge again. Or else I really might have to come back and kill her.”

“Don’t worry about me,” you reassured him. “I know just what to do.”

Fred smiled, though his eyes were quite wet. “Atta girl.”

“Go,” you said.

You heard the door at the bottom of the tower burst open and Umbridge and Filch shouting loudly.

“Go!” you urged.

Fred pressed your hand to his mouth one more time before he dashed back to his broomstick. He had barely got on and kicked off into the sky when Umbridge and Filch burst onto the balcony.

“Professor!” you yelled. “There they are!” You pointed into the sky.

Seeing Fred and George on their broomsticks, Umbridge screamed, “You two get down from there at once!”

“You know what?” Fred said. “I don’t think we will.” He turned to his twin. “George, I think we’ve outgrown full-time education.”

George replied, “Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself. Time to test our talents in the real world, d’you reckon?”

Fred grinned. “Definitely.”

Furious, Umbridge raised her wand at the two of them – BOOM!

A huge firework exploded on the ground, immediately letting off a huge plume of thick smoke. Umbridge and Filch coughed loudly and then blindly stumbled backwards. You cried out loudly, too, but in fact you had been the one to let off the firework, and you already had your enchanted handkerchief pressed over your face. When Fred had taught you to make fireworks, you had kept one of the last ones for yourself, sure it would come in handy sooner rather than later. As Umbridge had started to throw a spell at Fred and George, you had subtly thrown the firework onto the ground.

Pretending to cough and struggle, you slipped off of the balcony first, and then, under coverage of the smoke, you hid behind the doorway. You waited for Umbridge and Filch to run out of the smoke and – whoosh! – you pulled a lever that you had installed yesterday evening by the doorway, and a huge net came down and swept up both Umbridge and Filch.

Umbridge screamed and Filch let out a wild cry. “What is this?” Umbridge yelled, thrashing in the net.

“Oh, Godric!” you yelled, pretending to be distraught. “Professor! Oh, no! Wait, I’ll go and get help!” You dashed out of the room and raced down the stairs.

You ran as fast as you had ever run, all the way down the staircases and down the long entrance hallway, until you came bursting out of front doors. Fred and George were still in the sky, hovering lower now as they announced their business loudly to the cheering students. Fred was yelling, “If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp or any of our fireworks, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley — Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes! Our new premises!”

George added, “Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they’re going to use our products to get rid of Umbridge!”

Umbridge, who had managed to magick herself out of the net, shrieked from the top of the Astronomy Tower, “STOP THEM!” But it was too late. With a last salute, Fred said to Peeves, who was hovering in the air besides them, “Give her hell from us, Peeves.” And Peeves, who had never taken an order from a student before, saluted back.

Fred and George took off, then, swooping merrily in the air before flying straight off into the gorgeous spring sunset. A roar of cheers and applause rose from the students and even a few of the professors clapped as Fred and George began speeding away from the castle. They didn’t see you as you, on the grounds below, began to run with them. You ran as long as you could, deep into the Forbidden Forest, until you couldn’t see them through the trees anymore. You fell to your hands and knees, breathing hard. Your heart was beating so fast that it physically hurt, but that felt right to you. That felt… right…

* * * * * * * * * *

It was Kenneth who came and found you. You were sitting calmly against a tree, gazing up at the night sky.

“Here you are.”

“Hi, Ken.”

“Are you all right?” he asked you.

“Of course. Never better.”

Kenneth offered you his hand, and you took it.

“How did you know I was here?” you wondered.

“I didn’t. I searched for you.”

“Oh.”

You both headed up to the castle together.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Kenneth asked. “I didn’t really like Fred, but…”

You laughed lightly. “Of course I’m all right. What, you think I’d cry over a boy?”

The two of you entered the castle. Kenneth made to walk you to your room, but you said firmly, “No, I’d prefer to go up myself. Thanks, Ken. Really.”

* * * * * * * * * *

You quietly closed your bedroom door behind you. Well, that’s that. It all played out exactly how I expected. So there’s no reason to mourn. I’m glad I made the most of my time with Fred. I have no regrets. So, I shouldn’t be sad. Right. Nothing to be sad about.

You stripped off your jacket when you felt a lump in your front pocket. Frowning, you reached in and pulled out a piece of parchment. Your eyes flashed when you recognized the title, written in your handwriting, which spelled out, ‘Petition to Fred Gideon Weasley, regarding the use of certain pet names.’ You saw that in addition to your requested nicknames of ‘Freddie’ and ‘Freddie boy’, Fred had scrawled on ‘Sir,’ ‘Your Highness,’ ‘Your Genius,’ ‘My Lord,’ and ‘Worshipped Entity.’ He’d signed it at the bottom, too, in his loopy, messy signature. And at the very end, next to his signature, he had scribbled, ‘Signed by your boyfriend, who loves his hellcat to hell and back because it’s the only proper way to love her.’

You burst out laughing, and you burst out sobbing at the same time. He really is so sweet. You hugged the paper to your chest as you thought to yourself, Fred, I tried to tell you at the end, but I don’t think you’ll ever know… how much I love you. And then, I never did really let you know, because I didn’t want to cause you any pain, how much I’ll miss you. God, I’ll miss you. I do, already. You slowly walked over to your wall and pinned the signed petition besides the drawing of a hellcat that Fred had done for you, and the page of notes that he’d turned into a paper airplane… Be happy, Fred. That’s the best world, really – not us together, but where you’re happy.

You remembered that you had once told Fred about your happiest dream. “It’s my favorite dream, to be honest. It makes me feel all warm for the entire day when I have it. You’re setting off a bunch of fireworks, and they’re all glittery pink hearts and they’re so brilliant and bright, exploding all over the sky. There’s a crowd of people clapping. I’m not among them, but I’m watching you, too. I’m so happy. I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. And so are you.”

You went over to your bed and sat down. Reaching out, you touched the pink pillow that Fred always slept on. Tracing the ruffles with your fingers, you let yourself admit one last time, Love you, Fred. Love you very, very much.

* * * * * * * * * *

Three Years Later

“Look.” Patricia waved a flyer in front of your face. “Weasley Wizard Wheezes.”

You looked at the flyer, which had about a million different colors on it and screamed in bold orange font: “WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO? YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO! THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"

You bit back a laugh. The Wizengamot member next to you, Griselda Marchbanks, scoffed, “Could it be any more garish?”

“They’re making loads of money, though,” David murmured, while flipping through a stack of papers in preparation for the session on a new magical rights bill that you were all scheduled to debate and vote on today.

“Not just that,” Amelia Bones said. “We’re buying from them as well. They make excellent spell-repelling attire.”

“Well, that’s surprising,” Griselda murmured, “given that it’s a silly joke shop run by dunderheads who didn’t even graduate.”

Patricia looked at you. “Aren’t you curious?”

Kenneth, who had been sitting quietly and taking notes on what he wanted to say in today’s debate, looked up at you upon hearing Patricia’s question.

“Why would she be curious?” Griselda asked, glancing over at you. “You’re not into this sort-of thing, are you? Er – U-No-Poo?”

You smiled. “No, I’m not.” You turned to Patricia. “What I am curious about is why you’re comfortable talking to me about Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes, when I know you haven’t finished reading the proposed bill.”

Patricia quietly slunk away.

You grinned and you sat back down at your desk. But your gaze fell back onto the flyer that Patricia had left behind. You subtly slipped it into your stack of papers. Although, you didn’t need to look at it to know the store’s address, as it was still 93 Diagon Alley.

I once told Fred that I’d go see his shop once it became respectable, you remembered. Well, three years of being the highest-grossing joke shop and now the supplier of a ten-year government contractor – I think that’s respectable by any means. So it was that after the Wizengamot debate that afternoon, you quietly cleaned up your office and then Apparated to Diagon Alley.

* * * * * * * * * *

You stared up at the huge statue installed over the door of the shop. It was an animated statue of the Weasley twins, each wearing a black top hat. The top hat would lift up to reveal a cute bunny, then come back down, and then lift up again – only to reveal that the bunny was gone. You smiled. I remember that prototype.

You stepped into the shop, though with some difficulty, for the place was absolutely crammed – not just with products, but with customers. Wow. Congratulations, Fred Weasley.

A staff member, wearing a bright orange shirt, asked you cheerfully, “Can I help you find something?”

“No,” you said quietly. “I’m just… looking.” Even before you finished your sentence, you felt your eyes drawn up to the top of the staircase that was in the middle of the store.

There was Fred Weasley, looking stupidly jaunty and happy in his dragon-leather suit.

“Oh, Godric, crimson dragon skin? Fred, could you be any more unrefined?”

“You just wait, love. Once I have a bit of money to spend, I’m definitely gonna be worthy of the name ‘sir’. I’ll look so good, I’ll blow your socks off.”

You barely resisted the urge to shake your head at how ridiculous Fred looked. But it made you happy, really happy, to see him so clearly in his element. Yes, you thought warmly, I reckon I could call you a ‘Sir’ now. But you hardly need that kind-of affirmation anymore. You’ve done so well, Fred. So, so well. I’m so proud of you, and happy for you. Keep living well, my love. You turned around and began to leave.

However, you couldn’t help yourself, and just before you reached the door, you looked over your shoulder to catch one more glimpse of Fred. In that instant, Fred’s eyes met yours. The smile slid off of his face, and his eyes widened.

You smiled at him for the most fleeting of moments before you left the store, leaving Fred Weasley just as dazed and confused with your mere presence and in his own store, as you had once made him feel one late-spring afternoon in a secret passageway in Hogwarts a few years ago.

❧ The End

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