#Johnny haberdae

[ligmaballsbaby]

Forgotten Haberdae Family time (1)

Mother and Son

(Jennifer and Johnny and Joseph)

_________________________________________

Date:#/#/1977

Joseph was still out at work... I still didn't know what his job was... And honestly I was too tired to ask... All I really notice is that sometimes he'll be gone for days or all night even... I know he's not cheating... Joseph would never do that to me... After All we have spent our whole lives together and I just had his child... I didn't even know I was pregnant until my water fucking broke at the diner I was working at in front of everyone... turns out I had one of those 'cryptic pregnancy'... Becoming parents at 17 just added more problems we had... After all we did run away together to start a new less shitty life just a year ago... Honestly I don't regret it, even though we struggle a lot I would rather be here with Joseph then go back with my mom... And I know he would rather be here with me than go back to his parents... We would rather be like this for the rest of our lives then go back to her old shitty ones back home... But having a surprise baby was a lot harder for us financially and mentally... But at the same time we don't see Johnny as a curse... He's our cute baby boy after all... Plus it's not his fault he's just a baby he didn't ask to be born... It's not his fault the economy is shit, it's not his fault we weren't careful while you're getting down and dirty (if you know what I mean)... But I was still kind of offended by one thing... Even though without realizing it I carried this little shit FOR NINE MONTHS and he had the audacity to come out of me and look just like Joseph!, I mean how unfair!!!.

It was around 3:00 at night, I already knew I was a hot mess I have barely gotten any sleep since Johnny was born and I haven't showered in a few days because we couldn't pay the water bill or the light bill and I have been wearing the same clothes for a few days because we didn't have any extra change to go down to the dry cleaners to get our clothes clean because if it isn't obvious we are flat out very broke, and there was only me and Johnny in the small one bedroom apartment me and Joseph managed to rent a few weeks ago... and honestly I'm proud of me and Joseph for working hard to afford this... it's better than staying at those motels or hotels you usually see on the news for someone being murdered there...Johnny was still crying and I was still trying to rock him to sleep, I just fed him and changed him but he was still crying... To be honest I wanted to cry too... But I had to keep myself together... There's no time for crying... I raised my head up in frustration and sighed... Gosh I'm so tired... And stressed... I looked down at Johnny who was still crying and sobbing loudly, I still rocking him gently... Trying to get him to calm down and go to sleep, and to be honest I was praying in my head for him to calm down and go to sleep... He's been crying for 2 hours... How can a little thing make so much noise?...

Jennifer: "Johnny please... Go to sleep... I'm begging you sweetie... You've been crying for two fucking hours..."

Johnny:"*continues to Cry and Sob and wine very loudly*"

I begged, still trying to rock him to sleep... Johnny just continued to cry and Sob loudly... So I'll take that as a big fat NO... I whined... All I wanted to do was sleep... I never wanted to go to sleep so much in my life... I started doing little spins while trying to rock him to sleep... I didn't even realize I was doing that... I guess I was that tired and too focused on getting Johnny to sleep...

I wanted to yell so many curse words maybe make my own language just to say more cuss words... Sometimes I would slip up and curse in front of Johnny but I would immediately feel bad... Even though he's a baby he's not going to remember... Or understand... But anyway to avoid that I would usually just say gibberish or random words... And I really wanted to say some cuss words so I might have to use that strategy to not sound like a sailor.... I raised my head up again in frustration, still rocking Johnny, still doing little spins around the room without even realizing it

Jennifer:"Miko fricker, shifter, gimbal dang it... Bingo sucker.. jaycomooo"

Suddenly I heard a little cute silly baby laugh, I looked down and realized Johnny was laughing, yes he finally stopped crying!, oh thank Lord!!!!!... Thank you!!!!... Johnny was smiling, he had one of those smiles that made you want to smile too but not in a weird way...

Johnny:"hehehahehehahaha!"

I smiled... Even though he is a little shit he is still me and Joseph's baby boy... Plus he is really cute... Of course because he's a baby and almost all babies are cute... I laughed...

Jennifer:"aw,are you laughing?, do you think that's silly?, are you being a little silly Billy Willie?"

I said in a squeaky little girl's voice which made him laugh even more... To be honest all that stressed I felt a moment ago... Was gone (not all of it but some of it)... I loved moments like this... I just wish Joseph was here to laugh with us... I wondered what he was doing right now... But I guess I'll have to think about that later I have to get Little Johnny to bed... So I can get to bed.

After about 20 minutes of a bunch of laughing and silly shit... I finally managed to get Johnny to sleep finally!!!... I walked over to his crib which was just at the edge of the mattress on the floor me and Joseph slept on (I found it on the edge of the sidewalk in some rich neighborhood) and I gently put him down, I bent down and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead

Jennifer:"sweet dreams my little sunshine..."