#Johnny Knoxville fluff

[berzahoes]

i love you | johnny knoxville

summary: just some moments with johnny and the reader

an: yes i’m watching jackass 🫶🏼

PARTY BOY

johnny was busy taking a shower while you did your skin care routine. the jackass crew had made it to the uk and everyone was tired. you were more annoyed than tired, it seemed like every little thing annoyed you from waiting too long for the elevator to johnny’s snoring on the plane.

“did you call your mom? she wanted you to call when we land,” johnny said as he washed his body. he got no response so he slightly moved the curtain so he could look at you. “did you hear me?”

you hummed and continued washing your face. “yeah, call my mom although i’m pretty sure she won’t pick up since, you know, time zones.”

“are you going to be mad at me during the whole trip? i said sorry.”

you rolled your eyes and continued washing your face. while checking in, the receptionist of the hotel had said some flirty comments to johnny right in front of you and what did johnny do? he laughed it off then later when you were unpacking a little, he explained that he laughed because he was he didn’t know how to respond.

“come on, i know i was an asshole-” he saw the side eye you gave him. “i am an asshole, but this asshole loves you and you’re not getting rid you me that easily. you’re stuck with me, baby.”

“you’re still an asshole.” you mumble, grabbing a towel to dry your face.

then someone had knocked on the door, you still didn’t move from your spot, which johnny noticed. “you’re not getting the door, are you?”

“you’re so smart, philip.” you replied. through the mirror, you saw him sigh and carefully got out of the shower. you were being nice so you handed him a small towel.

“who is it?” johnny asked as he opened the door then saw that it was chris and tried to close the door.

“it’s party boy!” chris forced his way into the bathroom where he saw you in your sweat pants and bralette. “let’s party!” he danced around you then got into the shower with johnny, who couldn’t stop laughing.

“why did i open the door?” johnny laughed.

you joined their laughter as you saw the camera crew enter as well. “i’m not even tired anymore.” you watched as chris danced in the shower. after a while, you forgot you were even mad.

SILVER FOXVILLE

the filming of ‘jackass forever’ had to stop due to a virus so everyone had to stay home. you liked it since you could finally spend more time with johnny. you two did many things to get rid of your boredom like puzzles, bake, watch movies, sleep, swim in your pool and even more sleep.

during quarantine, johnny had decided to stop dyeing his hair. you didn’t think much of it since at some point everyone starts going gray, but once you saw johnny with his silver hair, you couldn’t keep your hands off of it.

when filming for the movie resumed, johnny was now sporting a full gray hair look and you loved it. in the mornings, you would run your hands through his hair, compliment him, play with it. he just looked even better.

when you and johnny arrived to the jackass forever set, all eyes were on him. jeff immediately let out the loudest laugh when he saw johnny.

“who are you and what have you done with knoxville?” jeff chuckled then he turned to you. “you’re dating an old man.“

“jeff, i can literally see your grays from here.”

GQ COUPLES QUIZ

“hi everyone! we are here to take the couple’s quiz.” you smiled. you and johnny were sat across from each other with flash cards in your hands with questions written on them. after many years of knowing, dating and marriage, you seemed pretty confident.

“okay, we actually did a game of rock, paper, scissors and johnny won so he goes first.” you explained.

“sorry sweetheart, you suck at that game, but i love you. okay, what is my middle name? we’re starting off easy.” johnny said.

without thinking, you immediately answer. “john. if i say your full name, do i get bonus points?”

“we can make up our own rules. i’ll give ‘em to you. but only because i love you.”

“love you too, philip john clapp.”

“next question, you watch snl right? have i ever hosted saturday night live?” johnny asked.

“no?” you weren’t sure if johnny was even allowed to be on snl, you were convinced all the jackass guys were banned.

“you’re breaking my heart, babe. you were there! system of a down performed and you watched them perform.” johnny scoffed.

“no, i remember system of a down but i don’t remember you hosting if i’m being honest. congratulations, i guess.” you laughed as johnny rolled his eyes.

“i really hope you get the next questions right. what was my number in the royal rumble match? again, you were there.”

“easy, number nine,” you confidently said. “nine is my lucky number.”

“really? mines sixty nine.”

[michelle-is-writing]

Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.7k~

Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned

The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.

Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.

“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.

“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.

“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.

“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.

Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”

In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.

After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.

With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.

A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”

“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”

“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”

After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”

“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”

His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”

At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”

After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”

[willowsages-blog]

MASTERLIST

Tennessee whiskey

Relaxing

Halloween party

Winter snow

New position

Riding a skateboard

Camera mistake

Kissing in public

Going into early labor

New years eve

Secret crush

Valentine's Day

Not appropriate

brothers' best friend

The mistake at the restaurant

Blurbs: Johnny Knoxville

Camping edition

Johnny vs MySpace

Save a horse ride a cowboy

Making the tape

Farmer's daughter

[knoxvillesjackass]

hello! I had an idea of No Nut November with Johnny x female reader. The jackass guys all dare each other to do it and the winner couple is who lasts the longest. When his girlfriend finds out, she keeps teasing him and it all ends in smut!! Love your stories!! ❤️

𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐣.𝐤

im so happy to finally see a smut request!! pls, send some more, because i want to get better at writing it! also, do you guys enjoy reading it or do you like fluff and/or angst better?

warnings! edging, oral sex dom!johnny x sub!reader? ( reader receiving and giving), dirty talk, very dirty hihi

words; 3.375

It was bizarre. Annoying, really. You’d given him every opportunity in the world to rail you, blow your back out and make you incapable of walking for the day…All of your attempts were shut down, which was new for you.

Usually, all you had to do was send the smallest signal to Johnny, and he would be ready at any time, but the past two weeks had been different.

He’d been avoiding you, it seemed. He only kissed you when he left for work, and he’d even slept on the couch for some nights.

You’d been left confused and a little hurt by it all. Had you done something wrong, or was he perhaps just not attracted to you anymore?

The thoughts killed you, but it killed him even more. If it hadn’t been for that stupid bet….

“A month without sex? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Johnny shook his head as the room erupted in laughter, but he was totally serious.

He couldn’t believe that he was the only one objecting to this nonsense. The concept was idiotic and frankly childish.

Steve-O had been the one to bring it up during lunch break. Everyone had shrugged it off, but as the tension grew thicker throughout the day, everyone suddenly began to take it very seriously, Johnny included.

So, as stupid as he thought it was, Johnny was knee-deep in the ‘No Nut November’ phenomenon, even though he hated the idea.

You and Johnny had sex a lot. No shame in that. Just two adults, who loved each other very much. What Johnny did feel off about, was that all of his friends knew just how much sex you had. How? Well, at every given chance to escape the craziness of the crew, the two of you did. And you didn’t do it to have conversations and drink tea. No, you did it to fuck.

Johnny had been labelled as the guy to fail the quickest, and it didn’t sit right with him one bit.

Luckily for him, his self-control was a different ball game. He had more control than all of the jackass guys combined. If there was a will, there was a way, and Johnny never let himself down once he had a goal.

“Oh, y-you’re participating?” Steve-O asked Johnny, who shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” he huffed, and the room once again erupted in laughter, this time, it sounded more ridiculing than anything.

“What?” He asked confused and scoffed as he stared back at his wide-eyed friends. “Dude, you’re not going to last for two days,” Pontius grinned, Johnny returning a simple growl. “Let’s just fucking see, shall we?”

-

“Hi, baby!”

You grinned excitedly as Johnny entered your shared apartment. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, furrowing your eyebrows at once when you didn’t feel him embracing you.

“Are you okay?” You asked and unwrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him innocently. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, I’m just tired. Think I’m gonna go take a shower,” he commented, his eyes focused straight ahead and not down at you.

“Oh, okay. Well, I could join,” you smirked and winked at him, but he merely shook his head and smiled politely before disappearing to the bathroom.

Well, that sucked, you thought.

He was probably just tired. He’d been working long hours, and maybe all the man needed was some space.

You’d attempted to be the understanding girlfriend, even when you felt ignored by Johnny.

The first few days went by okay, although the hours seemed to get longer as the days went by. The week overall was manageable but when the second week struck, Johnny was beginning to struggle.

The day of your anniversary, you'd made everything really special for Johnny. Dressed up nice, cooked some good food, and made the bathtub the perfect place to end the night, together.

When he'd come home, he'd acted just as you'd feared.

Distant and seemingly blind to the effort you'd put into making your fourth anniversary a special one.

The dinner was awkward and you hated the tension. You broke the silence every minute, asking him questions to which he answered with simple and short sentences.

"I have a surprise for you," you smirked. Maybe what he needed was some extra spice, and that was what you were going to give him.

"A surprise?" He asked as he was washing the dishes. He jumped when he felt your arms snake around his waist. Johnny moved away and coughed. His boxers were starting to feel tight, uncomfortably tight.

You grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. You'd scattered rose petals on the floor and lit some candles. It was the most romantic bathroom you'd ever seen, but Johnny didn't seem to agree.

"O-Oh, Y/N," Johnny coughed nervously and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you trying to punish me or something? Please, tell me what's going on!"

"No, Y/N-"

"Then why won't you FUCK ME?" You shouted and sniffled. Johnny's heart tore a bit. He wanted to tell you, he really did, but with the mood and how you were feeling, it didn't seem as if it would've been a massive help in his eyes.

The next days were rough. You were upset, understandably. Johnny continued his odd behaviour and you were just about done with it all.

“Just tell me now; when did you give in and how was it?”

Bam stood like a little child next to Johnny and giggled, but Johnny rolled his eyes underneath his sunglasses and sighed.

“I haven’t given in yet, and I’m not going to, so you might as well quit bothering me.”

Bam scoffed at the answer he got from Johnny, but he hadn’t expected much else, considering Johnny’s recent behaviour.

He was in a pissy mood. He was at conflict with himself at all times. The whole dare had transformed into something beyond his control. He was so competitive, sometimes it scared people.

Johnny sat down in the conference room, where the crew held their weekly meetings. He cursed to himself and looked around. Pontius, Steve-O and Jeff sat and looked at him with smug grins.

“How’re you holding up over there, Knoxville?” Jeff asked, to which he received a middle finger from Knoxville.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen Y/N around? When is she coming by again?" Pontius pouted. Just the thought of your name at this point, could get Johnny hot and bothered.

"I-She's not," Johnny mumbled and rubbed his sweaty forehead. Was it just him, or was it starting to get super hot?

"That's weird. I talked to her this morning. She said, she's dropping by to say hello," Jeff said and immediately, Johnny tensed up.

"What?" He asked. He hated to even think it, but you were the last person he needed to see now.

"Y/N!" Wee-man yelled as soon as he saw your figure in the doorway.

Johnny hid his face in his hands as soon as he heard your voice. He imagined you saying his name, moaning it, screaming it.

"Hi, guys," you smiled and entered the conference room, greeting all of the guys with a hug, moving your way around the table until you reached Johnny. "Hi, babe," you smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips, although he moved away almost immediately.

You scoffed and stood up. What had you expected? He'd only been treating you like that for the last two weeks.

"Well, I can see that I'm not wanted here," you mumbled but were quickly met with reassurance from everyone but Johnny.

"Why would you think that?" Jeff asked, "we love having you here, Y/N."

"You might, but I think Johnny feels a bit different," you hissed and glared at Johnny, who slapped his forehead.

Suddenly, Ehren began laughing hysterically, to everyone's surprise. "Wait, you haven't told her yet?" He grinned and the boys slowly caught on and joined Ehren's laughing fit.

Johnny was so not having it. His fists were curled and his jaw was clenched. And you, you were utterly confused as to what was going on.

"Told me what?"

You raised your eyebrow and looked down at Johnny, who refused eye contact at all costs, the guilt weighing him down like uranium.

"We dared each other do the no nut Novem-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," you said and cut Ehren off. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to assemble yourself before speaking up.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?" You spat and looked down at Johnny, who sighed and looked up at you.

"Y/N, I'm so so-"

"Do you guys know how long it's been since I've had sex with my boyfriend?" I asked into the room and the guys all chuckled.

Of course, they knew. They were a part of it too, after all.

"Two weeks!"

It didn't sound like a lot, but anyone who knew you and Johnny understood that this was totally out of the ordinary.

"You're telling me I have to wait two weeks before he can bang me? How many of you guys are still in this bullshit?" You asked loudly to which Pontius, Jeff, Ehren and Wee-Man's hands went up.

"Fuck this," you sighed. You knew just how competitive Johnny was. Nothing could get in his way. Literally nothing, but then again, if anyone had the slightest chance, it was most definitely you.

-

"Y/N?"

You sighed at the sound of Johnny's voice.

Your fingers were curled inside of yourself as you lay spread across the bed.

You continued, although the sound of Johnny's footsteps came closer and closer.

You closed your eyes and began rubbing your clit, letting out a quiet moan.

"Y/N-fuck," Johnny breathed out when he walked in on you pleasuring yourself. His cock was throbbing at the sight of your naked body, but he denied all of those feelings and shuffled out of the room. The sight had made him hard as a rock.

"Johnny!" You called out. An idea had popped into your head.

He opened the door and peeked in. Your legs were spread open and they were trembling with anticipation.

"Huh?" He asked you. His eyes were almost closed. He couldn't bare to see more.

"Look, I know you're not allowed to cum or whatever, but I'm horny and I need your help," you stated and Johnny's eyes opened wide. You might be on to something, he thought.

Pleasuring you always brought Johnny pleasure, he didn't even have to pull his dick out for this one.

He smiled and rushed over to you.

He wasted no time digging his two fingers into your cunt, plunging them in and out of your wet entrance. His head rested between your legs as his tongue made contact with your clit. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. God, he loved it when you did that.

What he loved, even more, was the way his name sounded when you screamed it out of pure pleasure. "Fuck, Johnny!" You cried and grabbed his one hand that wasn't fucking your cunt and pulling it up to your breast, signalling for him to massage it, which he did, gladly.

Johnny smiled against your folds and licked them up and down, ever so often pinching your sensitive clit between his lips, which drove you crazy.

"I-I think I'm g-"

"Look at me, babydoll," he ordered and you followed, looking directly into his dark brown eyes. You couldn't contain the eye contact for long though, because your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you let out a loud cry as you reached your awaited orgasm.

You tugged at Johnny's hair and breathed in loudly, trying to gather yourself.

"J-Johnny, just fuck me already, please," you sobbed and looked at Johnny.

The offer was so tempting, but he just couldn't. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his jeans tightening to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"O-Oh, shi-" he hissed and suddenly flew away from his position. You looked him up and down, eyes landing on the massive boner, he had packed. You held back an evil laugh as Johnny stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" You yelled as you stood up from the bed.

"I-I'm just gonna go for a drive!" he yelled back and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with you, and you knew that. He was angry with himself. This bet was starting to get really fucking old.

The next days were seriously awful for Johnny. After helping you out, he realised that it might've been a bad idea.

The only thing on his mind was the feeling of your pretty cunt against his fingers and the sound of your screams still rang in his ears every now and then.

And you'd, of course, been making his life a living hell. Walking around naked in the apartment or dressing up in your sexiest lingerie.

Johnny kept himself together, though, and you had to give him credit. He'd handled it all very well, better than you ever could.

(random a/n; this same-ish story, but where the reader is dared?)

The end of November was just around the corner, thankfully. Sure, Johnny's hands were equivalent to magic, but nothing beat the feeling of his cock ramming into you.

You couldn't wait, quite literally. Johnny was so much better at staying committed to a dare than you. You needed him. Like, really needed him.

"Johnnyyyy," you whined and threw yourself at him like a little toddler,

He wasn't as sensitive as before. It seemed that the roles had taken a 180 because you were hornier than ever.

Johnny was sitting with his computer when you suddenly planted yourself in his lap and hugged him tightly.

"What's going on?" He asked and rubbed your back.

"I want it so badly," you whispered and bit your lip. Johnny stiffened up and shifted uncomfortably around on the couch. "Three days to go, Y/N," he comforted you, but that wasn't good enough. "No, but like, now," you said and reached down to straddle his cock. He let out a yelp and lifted you from his lap to the seat beside him as he stood up and paced around.

He was frustrated. It was really not fun anymore. Actually, it never was.

Johnny hurried to his phone and put the phone to his ear.

"Chris, you tell me now and be honest; who's still a part of this November bullshit?" Johnny asked. You smiled to yourself and crossed your fingers.

No one, please say no one.

You couldn't quite hear the rest of the conversation. You didn't really care either, because when Johnny came out, he had darker eyes and a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off. I'll be up in two minutes."

You squealed with excitement and ran up the stairs faster than ever.

You stripped out of your clothes and threw them to the side, feeling a knot in your stomach, waiting to be untied.

Johnny entered the room. He'd taken his shirt off on the way up the stairs.

"Get on your knees," Johnny ordered and you did so immediately and without protest of any sort.

The room was pretty dark, but you could still see Johnny's crooked smirk.

He approached you, stopping when he stood right in front of your kneeled figure.

He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks as you stared up at him, batting your eyelashes.

He gathered your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and tied it with the hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Fuck, I've missed your mouth," he moaned and unbuttoned his pants, not even bothering to pull them all the way down. And you were just as desperate to please him again, so without waiting any longer, you took a hold of his rock-hard length and gave it a few pumps. Johnny threw his head back when you put just the tip into your mouth. Impatient and understandably needy, Johnny skipped your slow tempo and grabbed the back of your head, pushing his cock into your mouth fully.

After four years of dating Johnny, your gag reflex was pretty much non-existent.

He began gently thrusting himself into your mouth and then sped up until you eventually could feel his tip at the end of your throat.

You watched with tears in your ears as your boyfriend had lost himself in you, thrusting himself into your mouth again and again until he was a mumbling, moaning mess, cumming down your throat.

You swallowed and Johnny watched you in admiration as he offered you his hand to help you stand up.

Your lips crashed together for the first time in weeks, and you moaned into the kiss when you reached the bed. Johnny put a hand behind your head and the other one on your back, slowly lowering you on the bed as he hovered over you with a hungry, lust-filled gaze.

You were merely wearing his t-shirt and a pair of old shorts, which Johnny quickly tore away, your underwear following. He pulled the shirt from over your head and admired your naked body for a while, before snapping out of his trance to return to his duty.

He began placing kisses down your chest but you pulled him up when you saw where he was going. You grabbed his hand and forced it down to your dripping cunt. "I don't need anything, I just want you to fuck me," you nodded and Johnny smiled. Foreplay was always a big thing in your relationship. It was a way to ensure that both parts were 100% ready, but there was no doubt in your mind; you were ready.

"You're still on the pill despite this stupid bet, right?" He asked and you nodded. He knew how bad you were at forgetting it, and he often scolded you for it.

"Good girl," he whispered raspily. That made your heart melt.

His tip was at your entrance, and you wondered if the three weeks had changed something within you. Was it going to hurt after that long with no sex?

You shook every thought off when Johnny placed a kiss on your forehead and slowly pushed into you.

"Ah-!"

Johnny looked at you with wide eyes. You apologised quietly.

"It must be because it's been a while," you said and Johnny nodded, understanding what you were feeling.

He continued pushing his member into you and watched you closely as you clenched your eyes shut and dug your nails into his wide shoulders.

He rested for a while, waiting for your sign to move, and when that sign came, he began pumping in and out of you slowly but deeply.

You grasped onto him and pulled him as close as possible while also wrapping your legs around his waist. "F-Faster," you moaned with closed eyes and Johnny grunted as he sped up, fucking you at an impossibly fast pace.

Everything seemed to go dull for a short moment. Your pussy clenched and your belly contracted tightly when a wave of pleasure hit you like a thousand bricks.

"I-Oh, my God!"

Your nails dug deeply into Johnny's back and you scratched them up towards his neck, where they rested, fiddling with the ends of his brown hair.

"Look at me, baby," Johnny ordered and continued his thrusts. You had to collect yourself before even listening to his orders, but Johnny was impatient and close to an orgasm, so he didn't have much time.

"Y/N, I said look at me," he repeated. The tone made you look at him immediately and you bit your lip and moaned loudly as you watched him orgasm for the second time that night.

"Fuuuck-urgh, baby!"

He trembled and with one last thrust, he pulled out of you and fell down beside you with a heavy but satisfied sigh.

"This November has been the best and worst of my life," you sighed and Johnny laughed in agreement as he kissed your forehead and snuggled you closer.

-

probably my favourite smut i've ever written, but what do you think?

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY | CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

The Jackass gang film the 'Spermathon', and Johnny has some news.

First of all I just want to say THANK YOU for your patience with this latest update. I have been battling a lot of very serious health issues since my last update so I haven't been able to write. I'm so glad to get back to it though and I really hope you enjoy this next part.

Some quotes from this chapter are taken directly from the 'Spermathon' skit in Jackass series 3 (I'll link the clip below) and some has been edited to fit the narrative.

CW for memory of emotional abuse, masturbation I guess? (not explicitly but implied)

Taglist: @lizey-thornberry@babybammargera @zolofts (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

“So are you gonna be a naughty nurse or a nice nurse?” Johnny asked as he strolled back into his bedroom with his morning coffee. Ell lifted her head up from her pillow and smirked back at him. She could see from his devilish grin and the sweet dimples on his cheeks that knew she should expect mischief today. “I haven’t decided yet. Depends on how you behave, I guess…” Johnny perched on the edge of the bed next to Ell. It wasn’t like her to still be in bed like this on a morning that they were shooting, especially when it was a skit they had all been so excited about filming. “Everything ok, sunshine? You’re lookin’ a little pale this mornin’,” he noted. Ell groaned slightly as she struggled to look up at him. The light streaming from the window was much too bright for her this morning, and it was only making her feel worse. “I’ve had a pretty bad headache since I woke up,” she grumbled.

Continue reading

[the-a-word-2214]

Need more Bam x reader content

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[abellmunsonmovie]

I feel like if Eddie was alive in the late 90s and early 2000s he’d love Jackass. Also like what if Corroded Coffin got famous or whatever and they were a special guest on there?!?!

“Hey my names, Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!” -Eddie before cutting to wee man getting shot out of a canon

[my-hybrid-moments]

hey tumblr!!!

i've been so bored recently and looking to get back into writing a bit

what i'll write:

fluff 🩷

smut ❤️‍🔥

angst 🖤

dating headcanons 🩵

literally anything as long as i'm chill w it

people/fandoms i'll write for:

jackass (johnny k, bam m, ryan d, chris p, spike j) (PLEASE request spike i <3 him sm)

beetlejuice (musical bj/alex b, film adam, barbara) (will NOT write bj x lydia bc ew)

blink 182 (tom d, mark h, travis b)

james mcavoy + characters

marvel (mcu, x-men etc)

hazbin hotel (adam, sir pentious)

andy samberg + characters

mcfly (danny j, dougie p, tom f, harry j)

honestly anything as long as i have a vague idea of who/what it is and i'm chill w it

will be posting some stuff soon !!!

[berzahoes]

i’m cool enough | johnny knoxville

summary: johnny and the reader’s daughter thinks her dad is cool unlike her brother.

an: silver foxville supremacy!! also the daughter has a random name, if you’d like to change it, you’re welcome to do so <3 btw i’m going to use johnny instead of pj for this fic

warnings: mentions of vomit

“and how is the family? you’ve got two teenagers?” jimmy kimmel asked. johnny was a guest on the tonight show since he was promoting ‘jackass forever’.

“yeah, i have a son and a daughter. mason and olivia,” johnny nodded. “they’re great kids.”

“and do they care that their dad is johnny knoxville? i saw a clip from steve-o’s podcast the other day and you said your son has never watched any jackass stuff?”

johnny laughed. “that’s right. he hasn’t watched any of the movies because one, he doesn’t like seeing me hurt and two, he thinks it’s lame.”

“and your daughter? has she seen anything?”

“she has watched some stuff like the lamborghini tooth pull, but she loves it when i’m the one doing the stunts like the bull roller skating stunt.“ he explained. he remembers the first time olivia had ever seen a jackass stunt. she was ten and it was the toro totter stunt where he mentioned many times that he had won since he was the last one standing.

“so you have one kid who thinks you’re the coolest dad on the planet and another kid who thinks it’s time for retirement.” jimmy chuckled along with the audience.

“mason is just there to keep me humble.”

“does your wife like olivia watching your stunts? i’m guessing she doesn’t want your daughter even attempting a stunt.” jimmy was right. you made both mason and olivia promise that they would never ever try a stunt. they kept their promise so far. you dreaded the day when olivia or mason (especially olivia) came into the house with a broken arm or missing teeth because of a stunt they tried to do.

“she doesn’t mind the kids watching, just as long as clothes are on and there’s no vomit. my wife hates vomit. she will not enter a room if she hears someone say that they feel like they’re about to vomit.” johnny explained. “she also doesn’t want the kids doing stunts, which i agree, we don’t want our kids getting hurt. i tell them ‘leave the stupid dangerous stuff to me!’.”

“so no jackass legacy?”

“my wife will kill me if one of my kids ends up with a tiny scratch.”

[michelle-is-writing]

Aspen, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.3k~

With how much Jackass has travelled over the years, you’d think making hotel reservations would be easier. However, it is the jackass guys we’re talking about, and even though my husband is one of the sweetest and most caring guys, he’s included in that jumble. Then again, Johnny was one of the very first members of Jackass; so the bar for common sense never started out very high.

“There’s no way I’m sharing a room with him,” Dave states as he points at Pontius, obviously upset with the hotel’s recent revelation. “Why should we all have to share a room, huh? Why can’t we just go to another hotel?”

“Because this is the one we booked, and the floor we have only has big rooms with double beds,” Jeff states, already tired of Dave’s constant complaints. “Now just shut the hell up.”

Meanwhile, Johnny and I remain silent as everyone discusses their roommate plans for the next few nights. The guys decided to go to Alaska for an upcoming skit they’re wanting to do, and already, some aren’t happy thanks to the harsh weather change.

“Well, I already found my roommate,” Johnny points out the obvious as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I only giggle up at him as the guys groan around us. Many years of marriage later and the guys are still waiting for our honeymoon phase to be over. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think of it as just a 'phase’ that will go away sooner or later.

Playing along with him, I gasp dramatically and slap his chest gently. “You'd choose me over Steve-O? What?” I joke making him snicker as he only tugs me closer to him. I’m not much for PDA, but I’ll happily accept the little bit of warmth coming from Johnny’s hold.

“Oh, honey, I’ll always choose you,” he assures me, his face barely inches away from mine as he grins coyly. His face is so close to mine that I can even smell the cinnamon gum he has in his mouth - the same gum I watched him take out of my purse right before we got here.

Before I can stare back at Johnny’s smirking face for any longer, Bam’s voice interrupts us, sarcasm clearly laced in his voice. “Can you two just not for five fucking seconds?” He complains, the guys fake gagging around him to match his attitude. However, Johnny and I just look back at each other with unfaltering smiles on our faces.

Thankfully, the guys are able to get their rooms sorted out, allowing all of us to head up to our rooms and get comfortable. We’ve been on the road for who knows how long because somebody had the great idea to go to Aspen for some stunts. After all of the driving and harsh temperature changes due to it being late at night, you’d think Johnny would want to go to bed or just relax, but nope. Not Johnny.

It’s only after a couple rounds that Johnny is happy, and I can’t say I’m unhappy as I thoroughly enjoyed those couple of rounds. However, I can say that these rooms are pretty small, and I have no doubt that the walls are thin as well.

“I’m so happy I married you,” Johnny murmurs to me after everything, making me smile despite the growing embarrassment gnawing at me. There were several times where my ears caught the immature laughter of the guys outside, and even though we tried to keep quiet, a few moans slipped out here and there.

“I think they heard us,” I point out to Johnny in a quiet voice, but I don’t think it reaches his ears.

“You’re so stunning,” he responds, making me roll my eyes.

“Johnny, I’m serious!” I tell him, sitting up in bed. “Get up and make sure no one is outside of the door or anything, please?” I practically beg him, earning a similar eye roll back.

“…fine.” Johnny groans after a few seconds, shuffling out of bed before throwing his pants on begrudgingly. After doing so, he heads to our hotel door and unlocks it before peeking his head out and turning to look down the hallway. My eyes watch him closely, waiting for the inevitable pin to drop.

“Hey, guys, if you could keep the noise down, I’m a little busy in here,” Johnny decides to yell out, making me completely freeze in the bed.

“Why the fuck are you talking?!” I hear Bam yell back, “We’ve had to suffer for the last thirty damn minutes hearing you and (Y/n) go at it like animals in there!”

As if I wasn’t already covered up by all of the blankets because of cold, I scoot myself farther underneath the covers to hide my burning face. I’ll never be able to live this moment down with the guys, and I’ll never let Johnny forget it either.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to register the blankets being lifted up behind me before a surprised shriek leaves my lips feeling a cold body jump in bed behind me, equally chilly arms wrapping around me and pulling me close at the same time. Instantly, I recognize Johnny’s hold from anywhere and shrink more into my blankets with an embarrassed giggle. “That was mortifying, PJ!” I murmur, earning a loud laugh back from him. He knows when I use his actual name, I’m not joking around.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Johnny apologizes, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he gently rocks us back and forth in the bed. “I didn’t realize the guys were standing out there… not saying it would have changed much, but-“

My laughter cuts Johnny off from saying anymore as he begins to join me in my giggling fit. It’s only when Johnny begin to nuzzle his face into my neck that our laughter begins to die down, causing me to turn over toward him. With our noses almost touching, I smile at him as I continue to get comfortable in Johnny’s hold. The whole time, he stares at me intensely, making me lift a questioning brow at him. “What?” He asks, shuffling his body even more against me. “Can I not stare at my stunning wife?”

Hearing the descriptor from earlier leave his lips once again, I only smile at him before closing my eyes. As I do this, I take a deep breath before pushing my head deeper into the pillow beneath our heads. For a few seconds, the room remains quiet (all except for the loud music still coming from the rest of the guys’ rooms), but Johnny soon breaks that silence. It starts with the rustle of the covers before his hand rests itself on my hip and he speaks up.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, making me reopen my eyes to look back at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

I love these moments where Johnny’s sweet and caring; we might be married, but I still find my heart beating faster in the moments where Johnny shows that tender side of him as he always has to be the jokester or prankster of the group.

“No, I’m okay, honey. I promise,” I tell him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips to seal the promise. However, before I can pull away, Johnny moves a hand behind my head and kisses me back fervently. This lasts for a few more seconds until he pulls away with a small sigh.

“You know I always want to make sure,” Johnny reminds me, earning a nod back from me. With that, we’re finally able to relax together with nothing else worrying us; however, once again, it’s Johnny who ends up breaking the silence in the room.

“After this, I have realized I cannot go anywhere else without you again,” he tells me, a smirk evident in his voice. “Ready to fill out your passport, babe?”

[willowsages-blog]

the mistake at the restaurant: Johnny Knoxville x female reader

Blurb Alert: Y/N and Johnny get dressed up to go to a fancy restaurant, but it doesn't go as planned as Johnny wanted it.

"It appears you're not on the list."

The two of you look at the man with wide, surprised expressions before looking at each other confused.

"You made the reservation, didn't you Johnny?" As calmly as you could, you questioned him with a glare.

"Uh, yeah? I'm fairly certain I did." He pulls his phone out from his pocket and opens up his emails, scrolling to find perhaps a verification or something related to the restaurant Le Goût.

You had a lovely and short blue dress on. It had colorful beading and somehow remained vibrant under the dim lights. Johnny had a red flannel shirt with his jeans, which always surprised you how good he could look in such simple attire. His hair was nicely styled, and with his glasses, now a bit run through because of his fiddling,

"Fuck." His hand was tucked under his chin, running along his cheek and jaw. You raised your brow, catching his eye as he turned to you in annoyance.

"I reserved us for tomorrow, dammit." He dropped his shoulders, disappointed with his mistake.

"Yep, Knoxville's right here for tomorrow." The man says after flipping through his papers.

"There's a three hour wait if you'd like to put your name down and be seated, or continue with tomorrow's reservation?" You bit the side of your cheek as he relayed this information, turning to see what Johnny will think to do.

"We'll just do tomorrow's, thanks man." Johnny shook his hand and gave him a nod, slipping his other hand to clasp yours and pull you out of the long line that was stagnant behind. He walked the two of you to the car, silence engulfing the apparent disappointment of a good meal.

"Well.." You huffed, climbing into the passenger seat as he did so on the driver's side.

"Sorry, Y/N." He curled his bottom lip, making his irresistible dark eyes at you. You laughed, crossing over the console to give his cheek a kiss.

"We'll just do this again tomorrow, babe." You coo as he wraps his hand back over yours, squeezing apologetically. “I’m starved though.”

"Want something from a diner then?” He buckles his seatbelt, surefire of your response. He’s already halfway down the road before you could nod.

“Good grub.” He smiles with his mouth full of a burger and a drink in his hand. Fingers greasy, windswept, and overdressed, you both had your usual order and had opted to sit outside the restaurant.

“Y’know, this is probably more fun than the fancy place anyway.” You both were full of laughs and life experiences to share. A good portion of your meal was spent gazing above too, admiring the pretty stars.

“Just as delicious too.” He rolled his eyes in delight, throwing down a couple more fries and a sip from his drink. You agreed, mentally cataloging this memory to remember forever.

It felt like one of those romance movies.

[knoxvillesjackass]

frustrated - j.k - smut!

warning! mild dubcon/dubious consent! very smutty!!

𝑗𝑜ℎ𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑...𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

“J-Johnny, slow down,” I whimpered as Johnny's thrusts sped up. They were deep and hard and I was on the verge of tears as I struggled to figure out if what I was feeling was pain or pleasure, or perhaps both. I couldn’t decide. Either way, whatever it was, I knew that I did not want him to stop.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he spat back rather harshly. His lips were attached to my neck as I sat on the kitchen counter. Johnny stood between my legs, grabbing my thighs as he made sure to hit every angle perfectly. Johnny threw his head back and let out a deep sigh as I dug my fingernails deep into his back.

Johnny had come home tired. Angry was more like it.

Work had been stressful the past few months. He had been re-shooting scenes, and he hated how slow the process was. He struggled to fit in time for anything and everything, and most nights, I didn’t even get a chance to see him before passing out, too tired after waiting for him for hours on end.

This specific afternoon, he was so frustrated after a long day at work, and, well, I was the only one in his reach. And, that’s how I ended up on a kitchen counter at 11 pm, getting fucked senselessly by my generally very gracious boyfriend.

“Fuck,” I managed to mutter out as my hands fumbled around in Johnny's curls. A single tear rolled down my cheek. The complete sentiment of euphoria had taken over my body, and nothing had ever felt better.

Johnny's moans were loud in my ear and the sounds themselves were practically orgasmic on their own.

Although I'd always enjoyed a variety of different paces and techniques when it came to sex, I'd never experienced Johnny like that before. So ruthless. So…rough.

I knew that Johnny was doing it for himself, and only himself. The way his cock mercilessly plunged into my belly repeatedly, not once slowing down, told me everything I needed to know. He hadn’t even asked if I was comfortable, which was something he always made sure to do. He didn’t wait for me to adjust to his massive size, which was something I still needed to do, even after five years of dating. He just barged in, lifted me onto the kitchen counter, and did exactly what he wanted to.

I hadn’t had the time to even think before he’d dived into me. He’d wasted no time. He hadn’t even checked if I was wet enough to enter. No foreplay. No nothing.

“Jo-Johnny, just slow down. Let me look at you,” I whimpered and retrieved my face from the crook of his neck. I put my hands on either side of Johnny's face, looking into his beautiful, deep eyes. His mouth hung open by a slight bit, just enough to produce a couple of moans here and there. He looked at me intensely while he rested his forehead against mine, not once breaking eye contact.

“No slowing down,” Johnny insisted, squeezing the bottom part of my thigh harshly.

“Just take it. Take it like the good girl you are.” Johnny hummed, moving his lips down to my neck and sucking on the skin, undoubtedly leaving a large, purple mark.

Johnny's words made me moan as I clawed into his shoulder blades. I could hear Johnny slightly wince at the sensation. “Feisty little one, are you?” Johnny chuckled at my action and smashed his lips into mine.

Suddenly, his thrusts stopped. I was confused by his sudden pause but shrieked loudly as he lifted me from the counter. Naturally, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist.

Johnny walked to the nearest wall, his cock still inside of me. I whimpered Johnny's name as he placed me against the wall.

He wrapped his arms underneath my legs and placed his hand on each one of my ass-cheeks to support my weight.

Johnny began thrusting into me. The new position had given him a greater ability to pound even deeper and harder into me than before. I let out a loud shriek and grabbed onto Johnny's bicep with one hand while the other one rested on his chest. I tried my best to look into his eyes, knowing how he loved to look at me when he fucked me, but his fast-paced rhythm made it nearly impossible. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I felt an orgasm creeping up on me.

“I-I’m gonna c-cum.” I somehow managed to stutter out between my moans.

“Uh-uh,” Johnny shook his head, grabbing my legs tightly. His muscular body flexed with every thrust. “No cumming until I say so,” Johnny smirked. I hissed quietly under my breath, but not quietly for Johnny to miss it.

“Did you just hiss at me?” He asked.

Fuck

I knew that tone all too well.

“No-”

Before I could answer Johnny's question, he plunged into me with such strength. A strength that I didn’t even know he had in him.

“Fuck!” I gasped as Johnny repeated the slow, but unbelievably deep and overwhelming pumps.

“Ahh, that feels good, doesn’t it? Hmm?” Johnny asked, biting his lip. He kissed my forehead. Unable to answer, I just moaned in response.

It felt as if my heart was in my throat. Even if I tried, I'd never be able to even describe the complete and utter state of bliss I found myself in whenever Johnny fucked me.

“Do you want to cum? Hmm?” Johnny purred in my ear, his voice deep and lascivious.

“Mmm,” I nodded with my eyes closed, too focused on the pleasure within me to focus on what Johnny was saying.

“Say it.” Johnny panted. “Say it and look at me,” he instructed between heavy breaths.

I opened my eyes and looked deep into Johnny's eyes. They’d turned a shade or two darker than before.

“I just-oh fuck. I want to come so bad. Please,”

Urgh.

It almost made me feel pathetic to beg for him like that, but I couldn’t help it.

“I love it when you beg for me. Such a good girl,” Johnny hummed into my ear. I could feel Johnny's arms flex from holding me up for so long, and just like me, he was very close.

Johnny's moans intensified and they became louder and louder. His thrusts became sloppier and suddenly, he let out a loud grunt, followed by a couple of moans here and there as he pounded into me deeply a few times before completely stopping all movement.

I was confused, wondering if he was even going to let me cum, but I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts as Johnny walked back over to the kitchen counter and placed me on it.

“Lay down,” Johnny ordered, and I followed by laying down on my back, feeling the cold counter material against my back which sent shivers down my back.

“You’ve been so good, you know that?” Johnny smiled, almost in a proud manner while looking down at me, laying naked on the counter.

All his.

“I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, darling” Johnny swore whilst smirking as he bent down and kissed my lips passionately, his touch much different than just minutes ago.

His lips trailed down my body. From my lips to my collarbones. Then down to my breasts, my belly button, and finally, my all-through soaked pussy. His tongue softly slithered around my heat. I could feel his warm mouth on my inner thighs, dangerously close to my core. I whined in an attempt for Johnny to up, which only earned me a harsh slap on the thigh.

“Be patient, or you’re gonna have to make yourself cum,” Johnny warned. I looked down at him and scoffed, knowing damn well I'd never even come close to Johnny's skills when it came to making me feel good. Johnny returned to my heat. I could feel his breathing against my already sensitive cunt, and it made me want to cry out. He was too slow for my liking. All I wanted was to feel his touch. To feel his mouth.

Johnny's tongue suddenly slithered between my folds. I shrieked at the sensation and accidentally closed my legs together as a reflex. Johnny wasted no time and roughly grabbed my thighs. He held them in an open position, restricting me from any movement at all in my legs.

“Last warning,” Johnny growled, and once again, his mouth connected to my pulsing cunt. His movements were agonizingly slow. His lips were closed around my clit, kissing it slowly. His tongue moved further down, and slowly entered the opening of my pussy, tasting the sweet taste of wetness his teasing had resulted in. I moaned loudly as he continued working his magic.

I ran my fingers through his brown hair, trying to make sense of everything. The pleasure was almost too much. Johnny knew exactly what he was doing to me. He loved nothing more than to hear my moans. He removed his tongue from my opening and the loss of his touch made me pout. Johnny smirked up at me teasingly.

He dragged his tongue back to my clit, flicking it up and down, gradually adding pace. A motion that completely and utterly carried me over the edge.

“Oh, my-fuck!” I screeched as the ball of pleasure in my abdomen exploded like fireworks. I gripped Johnny's hair tightly, maybe even too tightly, because I was convinced that I heard him wince quietly. I could feel his stare as I rode out of my long-awaited orgasm. Slowly, I gathered my senses and snapped back to reality.

“So beautiful,” Johnny mumbled, adoring me, although I knew it wasn't my best moment. A red face and tear-stained cheeks as I tried to catch my breath. Johnny stood and helped me up from the counter. My knees were too weak to even stand, so Johnny took me in his arms, bridal style.

“Listen, I was a bit frustrated. I’m sorry if I was too rough,” Johnny spoke. I looked up into his eyes, smirking.

“No. I liked it,” I spoke. “I knew you would,” Johnny grinned, shaking his head as he walked up the stairs, with me in his arms.

[philipjohnclapp]

Heyy idk of ur requests are open

If they are, could you please do some head canons with Steve-o with a 2000s popstar reader like, kind of like Britney Spears because I fucking love her btw looooove ur writing 💗💗💗

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Reader Headcanons

A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve mastered Steve-O to a T, Y/N? Not so much. This might work; if y’all want more feel free to request. implied female reader.

- You’re his bimbo girlfriend even if you aren’t a bimbo.

- That’s his name for you.

- He thinks your smoking hot.

- Wonders how he ended up with you.

- His friends think you’re an escort, at least at first they did.

- Now they think you’re his sugar baby.

- Listens to all your music and is very supportive; even though he’s a rocking roll man.

- Fucked around once and turned the amplifier up so loud, and got so close his ears bled.

- Was listening to your music at the time, he said your music was and I quote “so good that his ears bled.”

- Literally almost went deaf.

- He goes with you everywhere pretty much, you call him your “trophy boyfriend.”

- Definitely do all the “rockstar” like shit and get wasted.

- You constantly tell him you aren’t a rockstar.

- One time he asked you if you were friends with Tommy Lee.

- He got jealous?

- And then he threw up and passed out.

- Y’all cuddle every night.

- Especially after sex.

- Let’s you sometimes do makeup on him, he proceeded to bat his lashes and then he was kissing all the guys to mess with him.

- Somehow he contracted crabs or something from it and you made him sleep in a different room for like a month.

- He was sad.

- ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS does some sort of trick on stage before you preform.

- Hangs out in the mosh pit a LOT.

- Sometimes as a gag when you bring him on stage he acts like a fan girl and goes nuts.

- Kisses you with tongue in front of everyone.

- Especially on stage just because.

- Tried to learn the guitar so he could preform with you and he failed.

- That also made him reaally sad.

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY | CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Johnny drops a bombshell on Ell, but she has a way to cheer him up.

Surprise! Here's another chapter for you as I kept you all waiting for so long.

Thankyou to my Tumblr pal @lizey-thornberry for some inspiration for part of this!

CW for a bit of smut.

Taglist: @lizey-thornberry@babybammargera @zolofts (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

“Johnny…are you serious?!” Ell asked in disbelief. She’d never imagined that he would do such a thing. “Yep,” he confirmed. “100% serious. I'm done with the show. I just can’t put up with all the rules they’re enforcing. It’s getting ridiculous - these lawyers, they’re destroying what Jackass is. It’s not funny if someone falls onto crash mats, or jumps from two feet instead of ten! The whole point is that we do dumb shit and we sometimes get hurt doing it. I can’t do it anymore. I walked out of the meeting and I quit the show.” There was an adrenaline pumping through Johnny’s body that Ell had only ever seen in him before they filmed a particularly dangerous stunt. He couldn’t stand still, and his facial expression was rapidly switching from anger to excitement over and over again. Ell stood back and tried to process what he’d just said. “Oh my God…so what does this mean for everyone?” she asked, thinking of the rest of the gang. “No more Jackass!” Johnny confirmed, still jittering. “Hey! We had a good run. Three seasons in under a year is huge. At least this way we go out on a high!”

Continue reading

[sunshine17daisy]

JACKASS MASTERLIST

Hello! My name is Sunshine and I am an asiring author. In this masterlist you can find all my works for this series linked under their respective characters. I write for the characters listed but I will make exceptions if requested. Thank you and happy reading!

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

-coming soon!

STEVE-O

-coming soon!

RYAN DUNN

-coming soon!

BAM MARGERA

-coming soon!

CHRIS PONTIUS

-coming soon!

RACHEL WOLFSON

-coming soon!

This masterlist along with my others with be updated any time a new fic is dropped or in the process of being worked on.

THE ULTIMATE MASTERLIST