#Johnny Knoxville fluff

[berzahoes]

i love you | johnny knoxville

summary: just some moments with johnny and the reader

an: yes i’m watching jackass 🫶🏼

PARTY BOY

johnny was busy taking a shower while you did your skin care routine. the jackass crew had made it to the uk and everyone was tired. you were more annoyed than tired, it seemed like every little thing annoyed you from waiting too long for the elevator to johnny’s snoring on the plane.

“did you call your mom? she wanted you to call when we land,” johnny said as he washed his body. he got no response so he slightly moved the curtain so he could look at you. “did you hear me?”

you hummed and continued washing your face. “yeah, call my mom although i’m pretty sure she won’t pick up since, you know, time zones.”

“are you going to be mad at me during the whole trip? i said sorry.”

you rolled your eyes and continued washing your face. while checking in, the receptionist of the hotel had said some flirty comments to johnny right in front of you and what did johnny do? he laughed it off then later when you were unpacking a little, he explained that he laughed because he was he didn’t know how to respond.

“come on, i know i was an asshole-” he saw the side eye you gave him. “i am an asshole, but this asshole loves you and you’re not getting rid you me that easily. you’re stuck with me, baby.”

“you’re still an asshole.” you mumble, grabbing a towel to dry your face.

then someone had knocked on the door, you still didn’t move from your spot, which johnny noticed. “you’re not getting the door, are you?”

“you’re so smart, philip.” you replied. through the mirror, you saw him sigh and carefully got out of the shower. you were being nice so you handed him a small towel.

“who is it?” johnny asked as he opened the door then saw that it was chris and tried to close the door.

“it’s party boy!” chris forced his way into the bathroom where he saw you in your sweat pants and bralette. “let’s party!” he danced around you then got into the shower with johnny, who couldn’t stop laughing.

“why did i open the door?” johnny laughed.

you joined their laughter as you saw the camera crew enter as well. “i’m not even tired anymore.” you watched as chris danced in the shower. after a while, you forgot you were even mad.

SILVER FOXVILLE

the filming of ‘jackass forever’ had to stop due to a virus so everyone had to stay home. you liked it since you could finally spend more time with johnny. you two did many things to get rid of your boredom like puzzles, bake, watch movies, sleep, swim in your pool and even more sleep.

during quarantine, johnny had decided to stop dyeing his hair. you didn’t think much of it since at some point everyone starts going gray, but once you saw johnny with his silver hair, you couldn’t keep your hands off of it.

when filming for the movie resumed, johnny was now sporting a full gray hair look and you loved it. in the mornings, you would run your hands through his hair, compliment him, play with it. he just looked even better.

when you and johnny arrived to the jackass forever set, all eyes were on him. jeff immediately let out the loudest laugh when he saw johnny.

“who are you and what have you done with knoxville?” jeff chuckled then he turned to you. “you’re dating an old man.“

“jeff, i can literally see your grays from here.”

GQ COUPLES QUIZ

“hi everyone! we are here to take the couple’s quiz.” you smiled. you and johnny were sat across from each other with flash cards in your hands with questions written on them. after many years of knowing, dating and marriage, you seemed pretty confident.

“okay, we actually did a game of rock, paper, scissors and johnny won so he goes first.” you explained.

“sorry sweetheart, you suck at that game, but i love you. okay, what is my middle name? we’re starting off easy.” johnny said.

without thinking, you immediately answer. “john. if i say your full name, do i get bonus points?”

“we can make up our own rules. i’ll give ‘em to you. but only because i love you.”

“love you too, philip john clapp.”

“next question, you watch snl right? have i ever hosted saturday night live?” johnny asked.

“no?” you weren’t sure if johnny was even allowed to be on snl, you were convinced all the jackass guys were banned.

“you’re breaking my heart, babe. you were there! system of a down performed and you watched them perform.” johnny scoffed.

“no, i remember system of a down but i don’t remember you hosting if i’m being honest. congratulations, i guess.” you laughed as johnny rolled his eyes.

“i really hope you get the next questions right. what was my number in the royal rumble match? again, you were there.”

“easy, number nine,” you confidently said. “nine is my lucky number.”

“really? mines sixty nine.”

[michelle-is-writing]

Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.7k~

Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned

The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.

Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.

“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.

“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.

“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.

“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.

Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”

In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.

After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.

With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.

A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”

“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”

“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”

After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”

“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”

His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”

At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”

After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”

[willowsages-blog]

MASTERLIST

Tennessee whiskey

Relaxing

Halloween party

Winter snow

New position

Riding a skateboard

Camera mistake

Kissing in public

Going into early labor

New years eve

Secret crush

Valentine's Day

Not appropriate

brothers' best friend

The mistake at the restaurant

Blurbs: Johnny Knoxville

Camping edition

Johnny vs MySpace

Save a horse ride a cowboy

Making the tape

Farmer's daughter

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY | CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

The Jackass gang film the 'Spermathon', and Johnny has some news.

First of all I just want to say THANK YOU for your patience with this latest update. I have been battling a lot of very serious health issues since my last update so I haven't been able to write. I'm so glad to get back to it though and I really hope you enjoy this next part.

Some quotes from this chapter are taken directly from the 'Spermathon' skit in Jackass series 3 (I'll link the clip below) and some has been edited to fit the narrative.

CW for memory of emotional abuse, masturbation I guess? (not explicitly but implied)

Taglist: @lizey-thornberry@babybammargera @zolofts (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

“So are you gonna be a naughty nurse or a nice nurse?” Johnny asked as he strolled back into his bedroom with his morning coffee. Ell lifted her head up from her pillow and smirked back at him. She could see from his devilish grin and the sweet dimples on his cheeks that knew she should expect mischief today. “I haven’t decided yet. Depends on how you behave, I guess…” Johnny perched on the edge of the bed next to Ell. It wasn’t like her to still be in bed like this on a morning that they were shooting, especially when it was a skit they had all been so excited about filming. “Everything ok, sunshine? You’re lookin’ a little pale this mornin’,” he noted. Ell groaned slightly as she struggled to look up at him. The light streaming from the window was much too bright for her this morning, and it was only making her feel worse. “I’ve had a pretty bad headache since I woke up,” she grumbled.

Continue reading

[the-a-word-2214]

Need more Bam x reader content

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[abellmunsonmovie]

I feel like if Eddie was alive in the late 90s and early 2000s he’d love Jackass. Also like what if Corroded Coffin got famous or whatever and they were a special guest on there?!?!

“Hey my names, Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!” -Eddie before cutting to wee man getting shot out of a canon

[my-hybrid-moments]

hey tumblr!!!

i've been so bored recently and looking to get back into writing a bit

what i'll write:

fluff 🩷

smut ❤️‍🔥

angst 🖤

dating headcanons 🩵

literally anything as long as i'm chill w it

people/fandoms i'll write for:

jackass (johnny k, bam m, ryan d, chris p, spike j) (PLEASE request spike i <3 him sm)

beetlejuice (musical bj/alex b, film adam, barbara) (will NOT write bj x lydia bc ew)

blink 182 (tom d, mark h, travis b)

james mcavoy + characters

marvel (mcu, x-men etc)

hazbin hotel (adam, sir pentious)

andy samberg + characters

mcfly (danny j, dougie p, tom f, harry j)

honestly anything as long as i have a vague idea of who/what it is and i'm chill w it

will be posting some stuff soon !!!

[philipjohnclapp]

Heyy idk of ur requests are open

If they are, could you please do some head canons with Steve-o with a 2000s popstar reader like, kind of like Britney Spears because I fucking love her btw looooove ur writing 💗💗💗

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Reader Headcanons

A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve mastered Steve-O to a T, Y/N? Not so much. This might work; if y’all want more feel free to request. implied female reader.

- You’re his bimbo girlfriend even if you aren’t a bimbo.

- That’s his name for you.

- He thinks your smoking hot.

- Wonders how he ended up with you.

- His friends think you’re an escort, at least at first they did.

- Now they think you’re his sugar baby.

- Listens to all your music and is very supportive; even though he’s a rocking roll man.

- Fucked around once and turned the amplifier up so loud, and got so close his ears bled.

- Was listening to your music at the time, he said your music was and I quote “so good that his ears bled.”

- Literally almost went deaf.

- He goes with you everywhere pretty much, you call him your “trophy boyfriend.”

- Definitely do all the “rockstar” like shit and get wasted.

- You constantly tell him you aren’t a rockstar.

- One time he asked you if you were friends with Tommy Lee.

- He got jealous?

- And then he threw up and passed out.

- Y’all cuddle every night.

- Especially after sex.

- Let’s you sometimes do makeup on him, he proceeded to bat his lashes and then he was kissing all the guys to mess with him.

- Somehow he contracted crabs or something from it and you made him sleep in a different room for like a month.

- He was sad.

- ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS does some sort of trick on stage before you preform.

- Hangs out in the mosh pit a LOT.

- Sometimes as a gag when you bring him on stage he acts like a fan girl and goes nuts.

- Kisses you with tongue in front of everyone.

- Especially on stage just because.

- Tried to learn the guitar so he could preform with you and he failed.

- That also made him reaally sad.

[berzahoes]

i’m cool enough | johnny knoxville

summary: johnny and the reader’s daughter thinks her dad is cool unlike her brother.

an: silver foxville supremacy!! also the daughter has a random name, if you’d like to change it, you’re welcome to do so <3 btw i’m going to use johnny instead of pj for this fic

warnings: mentions of vomit

“and how is the family? you’ve got two teenagers?” jimmy kimmel asked. johnny was a guest on the tonight show since he was promoting ‘jackass forever’.

“yeah, i have a son and a daughter. mason and olivia,” johnny nodded. “they’re great kids.”

“and do they care that their dad is johnny knoxville? i saw a clip from steve-o’s podcast the other day and you said your son has never watched any jackass stuff?”

johnny laughed. “that’s right. he hasn’t watched any of the movies because one, he doesn’t like seeing me hurt and two, he thinks it’s lame.”

“and your daughter? has she seen anything?”

“she has watched some stuff like the lamborghini tooth pull, but she loves it when i’m the one doing the stunts like the bull roller skating stunt.“ he explained. he remembers the first time olivia had ever seen a jackass stunt. she was ten and it was the toro totter stunt where he mentioned many times that he had won since he was the last one standing.

“so you have one kid who thinks you’re the coolest dad on the planet and another kid who thinks it’s time for retirement.” jimmy chuckled along with the audience.

“mason is just there to keep me humble.”

“does your wife like olivia watching your stunts? i’m guessing she doesn’t want your daughter even attempting a stunt.” jimmy was right. you made both mason and olivia promise that they would never ever try a stunt. they kept their promise so far. you dreaded the day when olivia or mason (especially olivia) came into the house with a broken arm or missing teeth because of a stunt they tried to do.

“she doesn’t mind the kids watching, just as long as clothes are on and there’s no vomit. my wife hates vomit. she will not enter a room if she hears someone say that they feel like they’re about to vomit.” johnny explained. “she also doesn’t want the kids doing stunts, which i agree, we don’t want our kids getting hurt. i tell them ‘leave the stupid dangerous stuff to me!’.”

“so no jackass legacy?”

“my wife will kill me if one of my kids ends up with a tiny scratch.”

[michelle-is-writing]

Aspen, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.3k~

With how much Jackass has travelled over the years, you’d think making hotel reservations would be easier. However, it is the jackass guys we’re talking about, and even though my husband is one of the sweetest and most caring guys, he’s included in that jumble. Then again, Johnny was one of the very first members of Jackass; so the bar for common sense never started out very high.

“There’s no way I’m sharing a room with him,” Dave states as he points at Pontius, obviously upset with the hotel’s recent revelation. “Why should we all have to share a room, huh? Why can’t we just go to another hotel?”

“Because this is the one we booked, and the floor we have only has big rooms with double beds,” Jeff states, already tired of Dave’s constant complaints. “Now just shut the hell up.”

Meanwhile, Johnny and I remain silent as everyone discusses their roommate plans for the next few nights. The guys decided to go to Alaska for an upcoming skit they’re wanting to do, and already, some aren’t happy thanks to the harsh weather change.

“Well, I already found my roommate,” Johnny points out the obvious as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I only giggle up at him as the guys groan around us. Many years of marriage later and the guys are still waiting for our honeymoon phase to be over. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think of it as just a 'phase’ that will go away sooner or later.

Playing along with him, I gasp dramatically and slap his chest gently. “You'd choose me over Steve-O? What?” I joke making him snicker as he only tugs me closer to him. I’m not much for PDA, but I’ll happily accept the little bit of warmth coming from Johnny’s hold.

“Oh, honey, I’ll always choose you,” he assures me, his face barely inches away from mine as he grins coyly. His face is so close to mine that I can even smell the cinnamon gum he has in his mouth - the same gum I watched him take out of my purse right before we got here.

Before I can stare back at Johnny’s smirking face for any longer, Bam’s voice interrupts us, sarcasm clearly laced in his voice. “Can you two just not for five fucking seconds?” He complains, the guys fake gagging around him to match his attitude. However, Johnny and I just look back at each other with unfaltering smiles on our faces.

Thankfully, the guys are able to get their rooms sorted out, allowing all of us to head up to our rooms and get comfortable. We’ve been on the road for who knows how long because somebody had the great idea to go to Aspen for some stunts. After all of the driving and harsh temperature changes due to it being late at night, you’d think Johnny would want to go to bed or just relax, but nope. Not Johnny.

It’s only after a couple rounds that Johnny is happy, and I can’t say I’m unhappy as I thoroughly enjoyed those couple of rounds. However, I can say that these rooms are pretty small, and I have no doubt that the walls are thin as well.

“I’m so happy I married you,” Johnny murmurs to me after everything, making me smile despite the growing embarrassment gnawing at me. There were several times where my ears caught the immature laughter of the guys outside, and even though we tried to keep quiet, a few moans slipped out here and there.

“I think they heard us,” I point out to Johnny in a quiet voice, but I don’t think it reaches his ears.

“You’re so stunning,” he responds, making me roll my eyes.

“Johnny, I’m serious!” I tell him, sitting up in bed. “Get up and make sure no one is outside of the door or anything, please?” I practically beg him, earning a similar eye roll back.

“…fine.” Johnny groans after a few seconds, shuffling out of bed before throwing his pants on begrudgingly. After doing so, he heads to our hotel door and unlocks it before peeking his head out and turning to look down the hallway. My eyes watch him closely, waiting for the inevitable pin to drop.

“Hey, guys, if you could keep the noise down, I’m a little busy in here,” Johnny decides to yell out, making me completely freeze in the bed.

“Why the fuck are you talking?!” I hear Bam yell back, “We’ve had to suffer for the last thirty damn minutes hearing you and (Y/n) go at it like animals in there!”

As if I wasn’t already covered up by all of the blankets because of cold, I scoot myself farther underneath the covers to hide my burning face. I’ll never be able to live this moment down with the guys, and I’ll never let Johnny forget it either.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to register the blankets being lifted up behind me before a surprised shriek leaves my lips feeling a cold body jump in bed behind me, equally chilly arms wrapping around me and pulling me close at the same time. Instantly, I recognize Johnny’s hold from anywhere and shrink more into my blankets with an embarrassed giggle. “That was mortifying, PJ!” I murmur, earning a loud laugh back from him. He knows when I use his actual name, I’m not joking around.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Johnny apologizes, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he gently rocks us back and forth in the bed. “I didn’t realize the guys were standing out there… not saying it would have changed much, but-“

My laughter cuts Johnny off from saying anymore as he begins to join me in my giggling fit. It’s only when Johnny begin to nuzzle his face into my neck that our laughter begins to die down, causing me to turn over toward him. With our noses almost touching, I smile at him as I continue to get comfortable in Johnny’s hold. The whole time, he stares at me intensely, making me lift a questioning brow at him. “What?” He asks, shuffling his body even more against me. “Can I not stare at my stunning wife?”

Hearing the descriptor from earlier leave his lips once again, I only smile at him before closing my eyes. As I do this, I take a deep breath before pushing my head deeper into the pillow beneath our heads. For a few seconds, the room remains quiet (all except for the loud music still coming from the rest of the guys’ rooms), but Johnny soon breaks that silence. It starts with the rustle of the covers before his hand rests itself on my hip and he speaks up.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, making me reopen my eyes to look back at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

I love these moments where Johnny’s sweet and caring; we might be married, but I still find my heart beating faster in the moments where Johnny shows that tender side of him as he always has to be the jokester or prankster of the group.

“No, I’m okay, honey. I promise,” I tell him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips to seal the promise. However, before I can pull away, Johnny moves a hand behind my head and kisses me back fervently. This lasts for a few more seconds until he pulls away with a small sigh.

“You know I always want to make sure,” Johnny reminds me, earning a nod back from me. With that, we’re finally able to relax together with nothing else worrying us; however, once again, it’s Johnny who ends up breaking the silence in the room.

“After this, I have realized I cannot go anywhere else without you again,” he tells me, a smirk evident in his voice. “Ready to fill out your passport, babe?”

[willowsages-blog]

the mistake at the restaurant: Johnny Knoxville x female reader

Blurb Alert: Y/N and Johnny get dressed up to go to a fancy restaurant, but it doesn't go as planned as Johnny wanted it.

"It appears you're not on the list."

The two of you look at the man with wide, surprised expressions before looking at each other confused.

"You made the reservation, didn't you Johnny?" As calmly as you could, you questioned him with a glare.

"Uh, yeah? I'm fairly certain I did." He pulls his phone out from his pocket and opens up his emails, scrolling to find perhaps a verification or something related to the restaurant Le Goût.

You had a lovely and short blue dress on. It had colorful beading and somehow remained vibrant under the dim lights. Johnny had a red flannel shirt with his jeans, which always surprised you how good he could look in such simple attire. His hair was nicely styled, and with his glasses, now a bit run through because of his fiddling,

"Fuck." His hand was tucked under his chin, running along his cheek and jaw. You raised your brow, catching his eye as he turned to you in annoyance.

"I reserved us for tomorrow, dammit." He dropped his shoulders, disappointed with his mistake.

"Yep, Knoxville's right here for tomorrow." The man says after flipping through his papers.

"There's a three hour wait if you'd like to put your name down and be seated, or continue with tomorrow's reservation?" You bit the side of your cheek as he relayed this information, turning to see what Johnny will think to do.

"We'll just do tomorrow's, thanks man." Johnny shook his hand and gave him a nod, slipping his other hand to clasp yours and pull you out of the long line that was stagnant behind. He walked the two of you to the car, silence engulfing the apparent disappointment of a good meal.

"Well.." You huffed, climbing into the passenger seat as he did so on the driver's side.

"Sorry, Y/N." He curled his bottom lip, making his irresistible dark eyes at you. You laughed, crossing over the console to give his cheek a kiss.

"We'll just do this again tomorrow, babe." You coo as he wraps his hand back over yours, squeezing apologetically. “I’m starved though.”

"Want something from a diner then?” He buckles his seatbelt, surefire of your response. He’s already halfway down the road before you could nod.

“Good grub.” He smiles with his mouth full of a burger and a drink in his hand. Fingers greasy, windswept, and overdressed, you both had your usual order and had opted to sit outside the restaurant.

“Y’know, this is probably more fun than the fancy place anyway.” You both were full of laughs and life experiences to share. A good portion of your meal was spent gazing above too, admiring the pretty stars.

“Just as delicious too.” He rolled his eyes in delight, throwing down a couple more fries and a sip from his drink. You agreed, mentally cataloging this memory to remember forever.

It felt like one of those romance movies.

[eternal-sunshine-222]

JACKASS MASTERLIST

Hello! My name is Kandi and I am an aspiring author. In this masterlist you can find all my works for this series linked under their respective characters. I write for the characters listed but I will make exceptions if requested. Thank you and happy reading!

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

-coming soon!

STEVE-O

-coming soon!

RYAN DUNN

-coming soon!

BAM MARGERA

-coming soon!

CHRIS PONTIUS

-coming soon!

RACHEL WOLFSON

-coming soon!

This masterlist along with my others with be updated any time a new fic is dropped or in the process of being worked on.

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY | CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Johnny drops a bombshell on Ell, but she has a way to cheer him up.

Surprise! Here's another chapter for you as I kept you all waiting for so long.

Thankyou to my Tumblr pal @lizey-thornberry for some inspiration for part of this!

CW for a bit of smut.

Taglist: @lizey-thornberry@babybammargera @zolofts (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

“Johnny…are you serious?!” Ell asked in disbelief. She’d never imagined that he would do such a thing. “Yep,” he confirmed. “100% serious. I'm done with the show. I just can’t put up with all the rules they’re enforcing. It’s getting ridiculous - these lawyers, they’re destroying what Jackass is. It’s not funny if someone falls onto crash mats, or jumps from two feet instead of ten! The whole point is that we do dumb shit and we sometimes get hurt doing it. I can’t do it anymore. I walked out of the meeting and I quit the show.” There was an adrenaline pumping through Johnny’s body that Ell had only ever seen in him before they filmed a particularly dangerous stunt. He couldn’t stand still, and his facial expression was rapidly switching from anger to excitement over and over again. Ell stood back and tried to process what he’d just said. “Oh my God…so what does this mean for everyone?” she asked, thinking of the rest of the gang. “No more Jackass!” Johnny confirmed, still jittering. “Hey! We had a good run. Three seasons in under a year is huge. At least this way we go out on a high!”

Continue reading

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hooters Waitress Y/N HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, flirting, creepy guy mention

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! These headcannons were inspired by this fic by @dunnswrld and one of my friends who once jokingly told me she was going to work at Hooters someday! Some of these HC’s were actually based on real events that happened to me or people I know XD anyways, thank you for sending in requests and please keep them coming!

After Jeff had to bail the guys out of jail due to their drunken antics, they were barred from partying for a couple nights,

And yes, that did include any trips down to the hotel bar. This was a huge boner killer because there’s only so much fun you can have getting hammered in your room.

“I mean, I like the guy-” Steve mused about Jeff as he laid back against one of the beds, “but I feel like a caged animal stuck in this joint...“

Inspired by their desperate predicament, Knoxville got an idea everyone was onboard with,

“I think there’s a Hooters across the street…Why don’t we go there?”

Technically a restaurant, Hooters was something that Jeff could let slide.

Now, you didn’t recognize all of them when they walked in, because you only paid attention to Jackass when the cute one was half naked on screen, but you could tell they were famous

Nearly shoving your coworker out of the way, you rushed over to where they had already gotten seated,

“Hiiii! My name’s Y/N, and I’ll be your server tonight!”

Flipping open your little notepad, you turned to the table, “Now, what can I get you boys to drink?”

Johnny spoke up first, sweet as always, “How about a round of beers for me and the guys? Miller High Life if you’ve got 'em, ma’am.”

As you jotted it down, the guys exchanged ‘woah, she’s hot’ glances. I mean, even in the world of Hooter’s waitresses, this lady was something…

And remember how you didn’t recognize all of them at first?

Well, given the fact your main customer base were middle aged men, Bam’s whole skate punk look with the black hoodies and eyeliner and whatnot didn’t exactly scream maturity to you

I’m not even going to mention his height…

Point is, you kinda assumed he was one of their teenage sons or step kids or something, so you bent down and asked him in that patronizing coo,

“Can I get the little prince of darkness anything to drink? We’ve got Sprite, Pepsi…”

After connecting the dots, Bam’s face flushed bright pink.

Part of him was pissed that you thought he was some prepubescent twerp, but at the same time he couldn’t be that mad because this hot piece of ass was being all sweet to him

Ry interjected, putting a paternal hand on his back before Bam could correct you, “The little guy’ll take a chocolate milk.”

That earned him a good, silverware rattling kick under the table.

After you dropped off their beers, you tottered off to tend to other customers and the crew got to discussing their smoking hot waitress.

Johnny, all of a sudden Mr. Polite, stepped in once the conversation got a little too raunchy for his taste, “Alright, boys- let’s be gentlemen here.”

“We’re at Hooters!” Bam scoffed at his resistance, “We don’t have t’be gentlemen!”

Ryan, who never really got the guys’ whole obsession with boobs, rolled his eyes at him, “You’re startin’ to sound like your uncle.”

Taking a sip of his beer, Dunn imitated Vito’s…unique manner of speech, “‘Oh, we’re at hooters! We don’t gotta be gentlemen!’”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me? Fuck you!”

Finally breaking up the squabble was Steve, who had been busy eyeing your fine ass from across the room, and he leaned over to Bam,

“Hey, little prince of darkness- think’y could knock your crayons on the floor?”

Dropping off their drinks, you glanced around the table at the sleazy expressions that were all looking back at you and you asked if they wanted to order any wings

Flashing you a charming smile, Chris playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you as he put down his menu, “I was gonna ask if you were on the menu, but I’m a vegetarian!”

Steve saw his chance and quickly piped up from across the table, “I’m not!”

It was like some animal planet show, but instead of fighting for territory, they were all competing with each other to see who could get the pretty girl to look at them more.

Sure, it may have been against company policy to give out your number, but that’s only in instances when creepy men pester you about it,

Not so much if you happened to jot down your digits on the bill of a group of very handsome, very charming customers.

[lexaknoxville]

SOMEONE SEND ME SOME FIC IDEAS PLEASE!! IM WRITING FOR

- CHAPPELL ROAN !!

- HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE

- THE JACKASS CREW !!

- PJO CAST/CHARACTERS !!

- STRANGER THINGS !!

- TWD !!

and maybe k-pop idols 😖 IDK THO

and i’m open to more!