#John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I��ll defend him every single time

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

[sunnystrollblog]

Hi, it's me again!

The way I opened tumblr and you just slapped me in the face with your last cult leader! Branch post like DANG!!!?

Like, I kinda get it

Siblings relationships can be complicated, especially if there's a big age gap and they barely had time with him before Branch started creating his own personhood, it's almost like there's no affection outside of the barebones and "obligatory" familial love

I can see Floyd just lashing out and teen brain just said "before the baby we were ok, not GOOD but ok" especially since he was the youngest and then had to "stop being a child" so his emotions are mostly directed at the brother he hasn't have for a lot of time, at the "outsider"

JD I could see him being the type of person that compares how fast a kid develops to others or kinda forgets that a baby, a toddler and a teen react different to the same things

bigger families tend to do this "your brother did this better" "x could do it at your age" "it only took a few hrs for x to get it" "it's so easy! If x can do it so can you" totally ignoring the difference in age and personality. it might even fly over his head that Branch is actually developing faster than a lot of them at that age due to the expectations

AaAAAAAhHHH!!! You literally inspired me to continue working on this au so thank you and I’m so glad you got where I was going with the bros dynamics!!

Floyd’s perspective is very skewed because of his age and maturity, before branch came along he could pretend that everything was okay and as long as he stayed in line and did as Jd said everything would work out. But than branch happened and suddenly Floyd had a new responsibility, Floyd wasn’t the baby of the group anymore which meant all of John Dory’s micromanagement went towards branch.

And in some ways that was freeing and in others…, suddenly jd wasn’t just overbearing he was obsessive and Floyd did his best to take the brunt of jd’s behavior trying to shield branch from it. And although he tried his hardest to love branch and give him the affection he deserved he couldn’t just shake the resentment. Thinking ‘if branch never came along would they have been better off’ and all of it simmering just beneath the surface until the night of the band’s break up.

And John Dory…oh boy John Dory. Now obviously he wasn’t always this obsessed with the idea of perfection that’s something his parents instilled in him. And you’re right he does have trouble understanding that different ages react to things differently because when he was a child he was expected to know how to take care of himself and his brothers. So he thinks that they should know how to do that as well. It also doesn’t help jd that his parents never took the time to truly care for him, he basically raised himself until rosiepuff found him and a purple egg in an empty pod with no trace of their parents. Which will do serious damage on a child’s development and how he perceives the world.

Basically brozone’s parents suck and are the reasons everyone’s sad :) also everyone’s dynamic in my au is based off of something like brozone’s parents are inspired by the willoughbys parents! Branch and Floyd’s relationship is inspired on jinx and vi. And poppy, king Peppy, and vi relationship is inspired by adventure time’s relationships like Finn and Marvin, Marceline and hunson abedeer

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s05e22 “The Internet Is Forever” review - or more aptly named, one heck of a long review because this episode was perfect. I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS!

Episode 22 – The Internet is Forever

Hey guys! Whew, what a week, and it only started yesterday. Yes, I work Sundays, because I live in Israel, where our ‘holy day’ is Friday, but I work in Nespresso customer service so I work once every two weeks on Fridays too, so I guess I got the short straw until I own my mega super empire of translation.

Whatever.

That was a little rant.

Anyway, let’s see what happens.

Okay, this is seriously one hell of a creepy intro into the show. What the fuck is this thing?

What the …

Why do they always have to murder people in their sleep? It’s creepy.

So three missing women in Boise, Idaho in one year two months apart? Yikes. That sounds nuts.

“Well, hello.”

Bed-head poodle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god, the fascinated look on Rossi’s face!

I can’t take this show’s fascination with Reid’s hair. I love it!

“What, did you join a boy band?”

“No.”

I love it how he takes it so seriously!

Derek, you little shit.

“Okay, so what are we looking at here? Late twenties, early thirties.”

“All single, though two are in a committed relationships. All living on their own.”

Huh? That doesn’t make sense.

How are they single if they are in committed relationships?

“Looks like normal suburban houses. Gives the unsub privacy.”

“The differences are more striking than the similarities. Different hair colors, different body shapes.”

Smart poodle, I love you.

“What do you know about his MO?”

“That’s why we were invited in. The abduction sites are pristine.”

Oh dear.

“And there’s no DNA besides the victims’.”

Shit.

“and the victims aren’t reported missing until two or three days after they’re abducted.”

“Two or three days … women like this don’t just vanish without somebody noticing.”

True.

They were hot.

“Yes. Which is why I asked Garcia to dig into their lives.”

I love you, JJ, for appreciating my honey.

“And when I took a look at their online activity, I could easily see how the unsub is doing it.”

“Social networking sites.”

Fuck.

“Yeah. Facebook, Twitter. You name an online life-sharing time-suck, the victims were on it. And if you look at each of their last posts, they say the same thing … going out of town, going on a business trip, going on a vacation.”

Oh dear.

“But when you look at the time and date stamp of each of these,”

“Cue the Twilight Zone music,”

“Because they were all posted the morning after each of them went missing.”

Boom. My baby girl has them on her rope.

“The unsub posted them.”

Duh.

“Social networks are an easy way for an unsub to target his victims.”

Yeah, no kidding.

Oh, and I promise – I’m not an unsub ;)

“These women were especially open. They posted everything from what they were having for dinner to where they were going on dates.”

Yeesh.

“So this unsub friends his victims and then uses that as a cover once he takes them.”

Oh god.

“That means he can hack into their accounts.”

Yup.

“So he’s excellent with computers.”

“Definitely profiles as patient and organized.”

‘He’s obsessive enough to remove all forensic details, but also patient enough to wait two months before abductions.”

“He can afford to be. He gets three days to do whatever he wants to these women.”

Oh god.

“That means we need to assume these women are already dead.”

Fuck.

“The question is what he does while he has them.”

Oh god.

George Bernard Shaw: “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

What the fuck? That was seriously beyond inception, and totally fucked wiht my brain. If anyone can explain to me what Shaw meant, I’ll give them a kiss, like, literally, fly all the way to your home and make out with you.

“So if this unsub is using social networks to find his victims, can’t we use that to find him?”

Aw, my optimistic puppy.

“Yeah, if these women each had a hundred friends following them, then the unsub would pop up on each of their lists, right?”

“Uh, the detective in charge, John Fordham, he looked into their groups. Everyone checked out.”

Guess not.

“Social networking sites are surprisingly insecure.”

“Facebook recently tried to update all their privacy settings, and in doing so, they made everybody’s profiles viewable.”

Whoops. Bad move there, Facebook.

Lol.

“Can somebody explain to me the appeal of these sites?”

Oh my darling Italian grandpa.

“‘Eating sushi tonight. Yum.’”

Oh my god, I love this show.

‘‘Boss is keeping me late at work. Grr.’”

Oh god, I died.

“Whose life is so important that we’d be interested in this kind of detail?”

“I don’t know. I guess that’s the running joke, right?”

Huh?

“I mean, nobody is.”

“But we’d all like to believe there’s actually an audience out there that wants to follow our every move.”

Whoa, that was extremely deep, my gorgeous puppy.

“You know, some sites actually have a GPS feature built in. You can tell exactly where someone is every time they post a new comment.”

Yup. We’re seriously living in a dangerous world.

“This is telling us how he’s finding him, but it’s not telling us how he’s getting into their houses.”

“At the very least, I believe that he has copies of their keys. Doris Archer gad a security home system installed, but the disable code was entered at 1:56 AM. So he knew that, too.”

Fudge.

“He also found a way to deal with her dog.”

“A German Shepherd she adopted from the pound last year went missing the night that she did.”

Awwwwww

“All right, so this guy’s gotta be in and out of the house well before the night of the disappearance.”

Well, yeah.

“What about the people who come into your house that you don’t consider a threat?”

Oh boy. That’s one smart Italian honey.

“Okay, Morgan and Prentiss, start with the last abduction sites. See if anything points to his MO.”

“Dave, you, Reid, and JJ go back over the women’s lives. Start with their friends on the social networking sites.”

Oh dear. I hope they find this fucker.

“Did you find anyone willing to talk to us about the victims?”

“The problem wasn’t who to bring in.”

Can I be honest? That guy reminds me of a cartoon ... can’t put my finger on it, but he does.

Whoa. That’s a lot of people.

“The man we’re looking for might have found your daughter through her social networks. Did Paula mention anyone new in her life?”

Nope.

It’s her mom. She doesn’t’ know about Facebook and stuff. No offense to any moms out there, but usually nowaday moms around that age are pretty incompetent with Facebook.

“So I’m assuming she knew who followed her, then?”

“Oh, god no. She had over 1,000 friends.”

Ha.

“Wow. Why so many?”

Oh my honey.

It’s a work strategy.

“So, wait. Even though she told all those people what she was doing, she didn’t know who was following her?”

Welcome to the 21st century – where we share everything with strangers and basically invite creepers to kill us ;)

“Actually, I don’t have email.”

LOL.

“These websites are like email on crack”.

Yup.

“Did Doris ever mention letting someone in her home?”

Nope.

“Bruno ... the dog. So he was a guard dog?”

Oh god. The poor puppy.

So he changed the photographs that told a story? Oh boy.

“Okay, JJ, I got it.”

“You see it?”

“Actually, yeah. Looks like he did try to hang something on the wall.”

Boom. My puppy is on top of things.

“There’s even a little residue left over.”

“Morgan.”

“Let me call you back.”

“Yeah, what do you got?”

“Hey, I got one up here, too.”

“What would he try to hang on that part of the wall?”

“Well, from here, I have an unobstructed view of the second floor and down the stairs.”

“It’s the same thing down here. You can see the entire entrance.”

“Cameras.”

Fuck.

“We think this is what he’s using to spy on his victims.”

Shit.

“They’re small, they’re cheap, and they’re easily hidden behind photos, books, plants.”

“The footage they record can be transmitted anywhere … website of your choice, even your cell phone.”

Fuck.

Meanwhile, my poodle investigates.

“And he can toggle between cameras to see everything that’s happening in the house.”

Oh dear lord.

“And you found five of these at different points in the house?”

“Upstairs, downstairs, bedroom, even the bath.”

Oh god, this dude is sick.

“A ruse gets him in the door, but it doesn’t buy him enough time to put up five of these.”

Nope.

“Once he learns their routine, all he has to do is pick the lock, put up the rest of the cameras, and boom, he got their whole life at his fingertips.”

Fuck.

“What does he do with the video? Maybe he keeps them?”

“If he’s voyeur, yes.”

And there they go again, making Derek say the sexiest things ever in the sickest connotation and it just infuriates me.

“Uh, voyeurs are rarely violent. Their excitement comes from spying without the object knowing they’re being watched.”

“And by abducting his victims, he’s removing the outlet of his sexual release. Reid is right.”

Duh. I mean, why is this even being put in question?

“We need to have Garcia dig the surveillance and illegal video websites.”

“I’m going to take this with us.”

“Why?”

“We originally profiled there wasn’t any facial similarity between the victims, but I’m not so sure that’s true.”

“I want to compare Doris’s picture with the other victims.”

Oh my smart poodle.

“These videos the unsub took, it looks like one of them he posted online, which may help me nab him.”

“If he puts it on the web, can’t you track that back directly to his computer?”

“Normally, yes. Normally, in like seventeen seconds I can get you the network he’s using, get a physical address,”

“And presto change-o, no more bad guy,”

“But this unsub is a creepy computer aficionado.”

Well, fuck.

“Do you guys know what a proxy server is?”

“It’s an internet relay.”

“Precisely. Kids use them to get around blocked sites.”

Fuck.

“Now, usually, one proxy is plenty, but this piece of work is using dozens of proxy servers.”

Shit.

“He’s bounced his signal off China, North Korea, Russia, South Africa …”

“Garcia, can you track him back to Boise?”

“Of course I can, and that’s what I’m doing. Time is the unfortunate ingredient I need, though.”

Fuck.

“This just in. Looks like one of the proxy servers archived what he was streaming on the night of Doris Archer’s disappearance.”

Shit.

“Can we see it?”

“Pulling it up now.”

“Well, Prentiss and Morgan were right. He knows the house.”

“Oh, please don’t hurt that doggie.”

I love you, my angel.

“The camera’s attached to him. It’s his point of view.”

Shit.

“So he can relive it over and over again.”

Double shit.

“Okay, can someone tell me when this is over?”

I love you.

“Please.”

“Not yet.”

Fuck.

“He’s tender to her.”

“She means more to him as a corpse than as a living person.”

Fuck.

“Garcia, we need to find the unsub’s network. Even if it’s a rough area, it’ll help narrow the geographic profile.”

“Yes, sir, that’s totally what I’m trying to figure out. Uh, there is something else kind of huge you need to know about.”

Oh fuck.

“Do you see this line of code there?”

“Yeah, what about them?”

“It allows the user admin, and in this case, the unsub, to set up a chat room.”

Fuck.

“People were watching this on the night of the murder.”

“We thought he was posting these after the act. He’s not.”

“He wants people to experience it with him.”

“He wants an audience.”

Shit.

I’m about to barf.

“He has fans.”

“Tip of the hat to his fans.”

Fuck.

“He knows they’re watching.”

“Classic narcissistic behavior.”

Pah. You know it.

“Hey, guys. Garcia’s got something for us.”

“Go ahead, baby girl.”

“Okay, friends, I have some good news, but first, here is the thing that sucks.”

“I located the network the unsub is using in Boise, and it is the victims’ own wireless.”

“So does he hack in before he starts with the murders.”

“Hacking is obscenely time-consuming.”

“I just make it look easy because I’m a genius.”

“But, he’s not me.”

Oh god, I love this woman.

“So my guess is that he’s got to lurk around their network for at least a couple of days to a week before he kills them.”

“Yeah, he knows when we follow his online paper trail it’ll lead us right back to the murder site.”

“What’s the good news?”

“Hackers are very loyal to their spoofing techniques, and if they think no one’s watching, they’ll use the same roads over and over.”

“Okay, so if he goes through Russia, Chine, and North Korea again …”

“I have flagged those servers, and if he uses them in the same order, I will catch him so fast.”

“That’s only going to help if he commits another murder.”

“Yes, that’s also true.”

Fuck.

“Excuse me.”

“Garcia, if he does stream this again, how much time will you need to find the network?”

“Oh, uh, that’s hard to guess with all the international pinging. I …”

“Ballpark.”

“Seven minutes?”

That’s fast.

“That’s not fast enough. He’s in and out of the house in five.”

Fuck.

“Oh, God. I’m going to have to trim my time down, then.”

I love how she just sets goals for herself, not even questioning her own abilities.

“Garcia, get it done.”

Hey! Not nice!

“JJ, we need to call a press conference.”

Oh god.

“I know what connects the victims.”

What?

“I was staring at pictures of the victims and I knew there was a pattern connecting them, but I couldn’t tell what it was until I broke it down mathematically.”

Oh my genius poodle.

“Why are we so drawn to celebrity faces?”

Says the guy who started out as a model XD

“Because there’s a symmetry to their beauty …”

Oh wow.

I never thought of it like that.

“The more balanced they are, the more appealing they are to our eye.”

“These women aren’t celebrities, though.”

Nope.

“But there are similarities between them, and it wasn’t until I scanned the pictures and got it to the guys at Quantico that I had a full breakdown.”

“All right, strip away eye color, hair color, and skin tone, and what are we left with geometrically?”

“They’re all slightly dystopian.”

Fuck.

“He might not even be aware that he sees it in them.”

“There have been studies that suggest that we pick our spouses subconsciously, based on a facial symmetry that we recognize.”

Damn.

“So consciously or unconsciously, when he recognizes it, he has to destroy it.”

Fuck.

“Maybe … they’re a reflection.”

“Remember what he did at the end of the video? He wiped the tear away.”

Fuck.

“Most of us take the internet for granted. We forget about texts that we share or updates we put on social networks. But the internet never forgets.”

Nope.

“Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever.”

“Now, we all know about the horrific deaths that get shown on the web.”

“Those murders are immortal. And this unsub craves that same immortality.”

“He recognizes his face on theirs and he kills them as a way of saying, ‘this is what I look like.’”

I wanna hurl.

“Fortunately for us, this means we have a good idea of what he looks like.”

Oh god. I hope they catch him fast.

“We overuse the term narcissistic in our culture, but we’re going back to the psychological definition. Every aspect of this man’s life has been constructed around an inflated sense of self.”

“Unsubs like this are particularly vulnerable to what’s called narcissistic injury.”

“If his self-worth is attacked or damaged, he will lash out.”

“Under no circumstances should you denigrate him.”

God, I hope they are careful.

JJ handling the press like a boss.

“Hotch.”

“Somebody leaked our profile.”

Fuck.

“Oh, you crafty little sicko.”

I love you, Garcia.

“Sir, it’s fantastic you called. I just figured out …”

“So, how are you doing on pinning down the network?”

Why are you interrupting my genius?

“Okay. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“Remember how I said he was spoofing his signal of different servers? Well, it turns out some of those are a decoy meant to waste my time.”

“So does that mean you can find him faster?”

“Totally. Totally. I can write a program that filters out the decoys …”

“Oh, crap.”

Are they allowed to say ‘crap’?

“Is that him?”

“Yeah. Okay, it looks like I’m gonna have to filter this on the fly.”

I love you.

“Can you send us the feed?”

“I can intercept it in Ukraine.”

“He’s going live.”

“Look at the way he’s moving. He’s not slow and deliberate. This guy’s pissed.”

“All right, what do we see? Determining markers.”

“A one-story cottage.”

Not helping.

“Is there a number on the house?”

“No, and he’s already at the door.”

Oh fuck.

“Garcia.”

“He’s using twice as many proxy servers.”

“Wait. This window here on the bottom … is that the chat room?”

Yup.

What happened?”

“Someone asked the wrong question at the press conference.”

“Oh, my god, turn around. Just turn around.”

“Maybe she can fend him off.”

“New kitchen appliances. Can we track them through work orders?”

“He’ll be gone by then.”

“Garcia, give us something.”

“I’m stateside now. I’m almost to Idaho. I just need more time.”

“You’re not gonna make it.”

“Yes, I will.”

Oh my determined goddess.

“Forget the unsub. can you run a trace on everybody in the chat room?”

“I can’t do both, sir. Let me do this.”

“Garcia, tag the viewers. That’s an order.”

Fuck.

Oh my horrified puppy.

“Baby girl, it’s gonna be okay.”

“No, no it’s not.”

“It’s bad enough that there’s been so much death around me, but this guy is all up in my turf. And he’s really good at what he does for really awful reasons.”

“That’s why you’re gonna find the perverts that watched it happen in that chat room.”

“And we’ll nail them to the wall and they’re gonna give up the unsub.”

“No, no, that is not good enough.”

“I want to watch him suffer.”

“I want to watch him bleed.”

WHAT?

“Oh, god. I just scared myself.”

And me.

“Good, that’s a good thing.”

Huh?

“Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way is the last person you want to tick off is Miss Penelope Garcia.”

Aww.

“That’s a compliment, right?”

“Yes, it is.”

Aw…

“We will beat this guy. Believe that.”

“Now, I’ll call you when we’ve got something.”

I love Derek Morgan beyond all measure.

“He was moving faster because he was angry.”

“So he rushed. Which means he made a mistake.”

“Well, it wasn’t the cameras. He remembered to take those with him.”

“It wasn’t the body. He took that with him, too.”

“Hey, did Garcia find anything unusual with Allison’s wireless?”

“No, records show that it was a basic DSL installation.”

“Hey, Prentiss.”

Ooh, my baby is onto something.

“What do you got?”

“You see this line right here?’

“This is what brings the internet from the street into the house.”

Oh snap.

“This isn’t DSL.”

Nope.

“It’s a fiber-optic cable. Completely different type of connection.”

“We just found his mistake.”

Boom.

“If there’s already an internet connection in the house, why does he bring his own with him? Is it the upload speed?”

“Fiber-optic allows him to stream large amounts of video. And maintain a chat room.”

Fuck.

“That’s dozens of computers connected to him at once.”

“He’d need a lot of bandwidth for something like that.”

Damn.

Let’s get the fuckers.

“FBI. We have a warrant.”

“This is a warrant for all the computers in your possession. You’re under arrest for accessory to murder.”

“Watching a murder happen online and doing nothing about it is a felony.”

So they’re at the place where the fucker got the cables.

“We think it’s an employee using your cable as a ruse to get into the house. Can you think of any …?”

“Mac Jones.”

Boom.

“We need his information.”

Yup.

“Ladies and gentlemen, meet Mac Jones.”

That’s a different dude.

“That’s because last year, Mr. Jones had his identity stolen.”

Frack.

“Now, I can’t tell you who the unsub is pretending to be now,”

“But since a picture’s worth a thousand databases, I can tell you who he was.”

“Robert Johnson, three-time loser, arrested for possession of torture videos.”

Ugh.

“Spent some time in a halfway house before he disappeared.”

“I found a blog of his online.”

“Here’s a quote … ‘Next time you won’t be able to stop me.’”

“That’s his narcissism again.”

“Garcia, is there a pattern to the identities that he steals?”

“No. he’s really disciplined about it. Once he burns through an identity, he never uses the same one again.”

“You know how I describe some suspects as being off the grid? This guy is totally the opposite.”

“He’s all over the grid. He’s manipulating the grid.”

“And he never stays in one place for very long.”

“So how do we find out who he is now?”

“I don’t think we’re going to. The man known as Robert Johnson is in the wind.”

Fuck.

“If he’s this flexible with his name, his real name, forget it.”

“But there is another way we can find him.”

Yes?

“His online name, his hacker handle. That’s the name that matters to him.”

“Wait. Wouldn’t he have hundreds of those, too?”

“Most definitely. But remember how I said hackers are loyal? They stick to certain names.”

“That’s how you identify yourself to other hackers.”

“That’s how the FBI caught me.”

And she’s so proud of it. Oh my lovely.

“So if we find the handle …”

“I’ll get you the unsub. I promise.”

“See, Scott, we think it was you.”

“And we found some pretty interesting movies in your hard drive to back up our theory.”

Ooh, my lovely tough guy.

“‘White girls can’t hump.’ That’s nice.””

Wow. The sarcasm.

“‘Schindler’s fist.’”

Oh god.

“See, this one right here, this is the one that got my attention.”

“The erotic awakenings of Sandy.’”

“How old was the girl in that video? What was she, twelve?” Fuck.

“I can explain”

Yeah right.

“Shut up!”

“This is what’s weird to me.”

Something specific is weird to you? Oh god.

“Most of your files were locked away, but not the child porn. We found it in like five minutes.”

“It wasn’t password-protected or anything.”

“How does someone who’s supposed to be so smart with computers do something so dumb?”

“Can we cut a deal?”

Ha. Yeah, right.

“Before this guy accepts you into the club … he gives you the illegal stuff. Kids. Torture.”

Oh god, I’m about to be sick.

“He has to know that you’re risking as much as he is. Mutually assured destruction.”

“You rat him out, he takes you with him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Don’t you try and play me, kid.”

“His online name.”

“Mrs. Prentiss.”

Ha.

“Agent Prentiss.”

To you, pervert.

“He sent out a message. He said tonight would be the best one yet.”

Oh fuck.

“What’s interesting, Mr. Chapman, the other two men we talked to, they had a form of collateral on their hard drive.”

“Hard-core pornography. Illegal. Rough.”

How is an old clueless grandpa getting involved in this shit?

So he knows the unsub because he came into his store? Oh dear, the poor dude.

“Do you believe him?”

“I believe he doesn’t fit the profile of the other voyeurs. They’re good with computers. They have hacking experience.”

“Garcia checked out the website. She said it’s crude. You can’t even order anything from it.”

“I got him.”

“Does he have his own network?”

“He doesn’t need one. He’s got a whole city to leech off of. He’s doing this again tonight.”

“Can you send me a list of networks he’s hacked recently?”

“I got twenty hits.”

“Filter out men and families. He only hits single women.”

“Eight left.”

“Garcia, do you have any pictures?”

“Coming your way.”

Boom.

My genius has her.

“You sure?” Oh come on.

“This is the FBI, we’re coming in.”

“She’s not here, but her car is.”

“It just went on by itself.”

Oh fuck.

“He’s recording us.”

“Garcia, the unsub is working off Lucy Masters’ network. Can you tell where the video’s being transmitted to?”

“I can’t tell. He’s not logged in as Watcher89. He’s not using any of the regular proxy servers.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t know that this was him.”

“Damn it! He’s encrypted his connection to the proxies. There’s nothing I can do to help you find him.”

“What do we see?”

“Metal walls.”

“Wait a minute. Garcia, can you magnify the wall behind her?”

My goddess desperate to help.

“It’s a walk-in freezer.”

Fuck. He got it from the old geezer.

“We didn’t catch you by mistake, did we, Austin?”

“You gave him a place to hide the bodies.”

“When something goes out on the internet, it’s out there forever.”

“Now, you’re going to jail. That’s a foregone conclusion.”

“But unless you cooperate with me, I will do everything I can to make sure that the next time your grandkids google you, they will find out what kind of a monster grandpa really is.”

Oh damn.

First time I’m scared of Rossi.

 “Where is the freezer?”

They got him.

“We’re on our way.”

“Garcia, it’s been three minutes since the signal went up live. Lucy might not have that much time left.”

Stop pressuring my goddess.

“I can buy you some. Now that I have his physical address, I got my business all up in his.”

I love you.

“No, no, not today.”

XD

“Now, when your internet goes down, it ruins your whole day, doesn’t it, psycho?”

I love you, lady.

“Get off her!”

Get him!

“What do you see when you look at them?”

Why try and understand that fucker?

“Get him out of there.”

God.

Eric Schmidt: “The internet is the first thing humanity has built that humanity doesn’t understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.”

Whoa.

Not gonna bore you iwth any more verbiage, I think it’s pretty obvious my stance on the peisode. LOVED IT!

I’ll see you all tomorrow for the season finale of season five. HOLY SHIT! Where has the time gone to?

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

High School Trends That I Remember Fondly

Okay so let me share with you all some quality high school trends from my days in high school because boy were we a bunch of sass masters These all took place from 2007 -2012 because I went to a weird fusion school that lumped every grade from 7th to 12th together ( that means we had thirteen year olds up to 18-19 year olds in the same school ) Anyway let's go 7th Grade( I was a smol 13 year old) First off there were like 30 kids in each class okay? So.... - Pencils as hair decor ???? Why???? - Swiping needles from Home Ec and sticking them in your finger JUST under the surface of the skin to freak out the teach - Referring to lunch as ' the troph special' -Girls sending guys Valentine's that just said ' U R No Good ' and ' Allen Ur Not In My League ' - Guys sending girls tiny stuffed animals for V Day with cards that said ' I'm Soft For U' and ' Be My Plush One?' - Claiming various things had ' killed our ancestors ' : ' I can't do long division , my thirty seventh great grandfather died doing that' ' No I can't answer that question sir, every male in my family so far has died answering English questions ' ' I'm not allowed to be disciplined , discipline killed my grandma' - Wearing rubber bands as bracelets or rings and the tighter you could get it the cooler you were ???? This kid almost lost a finger by third period I mean ..... -Asking our biology teacher what would happen if insects could speak every class period ' What if wasps could speak but they only spoke Mid-6th Century English ' ' What if spiders all speak Russian' ' Do you think bees know English ' - Pestering our history teacher for the history of the Leaf Village ( I'm sorry Mr. Hoagland ) - Replying ' Deleted' when your name was called ..... I accidentally started this one 8th grade ( I was 14 ) - Rap battles to settle arguments ???? - Yoyo fights. It got intense. -Every white boy in school dressed like a bad Western movie character , cowboy hats and spurs and SO.MUCH.PLAID. - ' The Dew Crew', a gang of boys who drank nothing but Mountain Dew as refreshment , was born and monopolized the school's soda supply of Mountain Dew . All of them made it to adulthood but it is suspected they no longer require sleep and eat only the disdainful glares of women for survival ( at their peak there were 15 of them ) - Intense shouting of someone else's name every time something went wrong ( usually the name Sasuke ) - Pentagrams everywhere ; drawn on any surface we could find unsupervised for a second , started by me doodling in art class and picked up by my squad . The school board thought someone was possessed by the devil it was GREAT.... I NEVER GOT CAUGHT - In Chemistry we watched Finding Nemo about 3 times a week because the teacher was really forgetful and he let us watch it when he forgot his lesson plan , so by the end of the first month that year every kid he taught would call various roundish objects ' the butt' and I was nicknamed' Dory ' by everyone I knew Also the principal was nicknamed' Bruce" -Hardcore Zombie prep planning , there was a gang and everything . The Apoca-Punks are still strong - Disney discourse in English class because our teacher was a huge nerd for Disney and loved nothing more than to watch us argue over which princess would beat Gaston in a fight faster ( Kida won by a landslide but we all agreed Mulan would murder him in five seconds flat ) Also he nicknamed all of us after Disney characters and I was Lilo ( my best friend was Stitch ) - Okay so I brought a bag of chocolate as a treat for the class one week and I was really tired and out of it so when the teacher ( our English teacher Mr . Bagley, who was also the principal) asked me to ' explain the historical properties of chocolate' I got sarcastic and went ' For many years chocolate has been used in medicinal treatments for ailments of all kinds. Perhaps it will even cure the lack of hair on Mr . B's head' ...... For a second it was dead silent and then he laughed and said "Well put , you continue to live up to your nickname, Lilo!" - Shakespeare quotes at inopportune times " Exit, pursued by a bear" " We are in the middle of a test , Austin. " " A rose , by any other name , would smell-" " DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM INDI" - The drama kids dramatically snapping during arguments - Okay so there was this weird loft zone in the second gym( because our school had two , a sucktastic old one from the fifties and a newish one from the eighties ) nobody was supposed to go up there unless they had permission and it was for filming a basketball game ??? But everyone went up there anyway and at least ten couples lost their virginity up there ( what a weird place to do it tho , we kept the wrestling mats up there) I sluffed class a few times and took a nap there And it became a Thing to draw a little baby face on the wall if you lost your V card there -Supergluing coins to stuff???? There's still a dime on someone's locker and it's been like ten years -' Ambrosia' , AKA this super delicious combo of cherry slurpee , Sprite, and orange Fanta that our English teacher made us during parties . He literally made it in these huge plastic bins and just ladeled it out to everyone 9th Grade( I was 15) - The Goth Invasion Everyone who was punk enough wore black ripped jeans and eyeliner and streaked their hair with red and black One kid never left the Goth phase , we love u Scott ( it's cool he was our school's Warren Peace anyway ) - AFTER A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY VIEWING OF SKY HIGH FOR HALLOWEEN MY CLASSMATE SCOTT WAS NICKNAMED WARREN BY THE ENTIRE SCHOOL He was really salty about it too , he said " Warren isn't goth he's Punk there's a difference you capitalist Bible thumpers' Scott got 54 Valentine's that year but just shrugged and gave his candy to me and my squad because we were , as he put it ' the only punk crew in class, plus you're all really cute ' He never kept a girlfriend very long but he was the nicest guy you've ever seen ( everyone thought he was gay but just too shy to say it ) Over the years he is consistly hotter , and more unashamedly Goth - My sister arrived in school and was immediately the most popular kid in school and was nicknamed ' Princess ' - My squad got nicknamed ' Squad 7 " due to our obsession with Naruto and other anime , and we each were nicknamed after characters from the show by my friend Indi ( who was named after Indiana Jones, no lie) Melanie was ' Kiba' ( which delighted her because she would marry him in a heartbeat ) Mackenzie was ' Neji' because according to Indi she was the most monologue-y Chandra was ' Hinata' because she was shy but fierce And I, Aubrey , was ' Gaara' because according to Indi :' Your dad is kinda sucky and you've got two siblings . You're sort of the social outcast of school and when you get annoyed enough it's like you've got this terrifying supernatural thing in your eyes , I love it ' I LOVE THAT NICKNAME 10th Grade( I'm 16) - ' Because I'm Batman ' being an answer to every question - Goonies puns - Three girls got pregnant and were called the ' Baby On Board Squad" - Due to this teen pregnancy scandal , my heavily Christian community had our school hold assemblies about how ' Sex will kill you' and how ' every time a teen has Sex Thoughts, an angel cries' ..... There were ' God Is Abstintent ' posters everywhere So naturally we revolted and the drama class put up these fliers reading ' Without Sex, You Wouldn't Be Around . ' ' Satan Loves You and Wants You To Explore Your Perfectly Normal Urges ' ' Sex Won't Kill You- But STD's Could! Use Protection! ' ' Wrap It Before He Taps It And The Angels Won't Be Crying " " Boys Like Girls.Boys Think Of Girls In Sexual Ways. Boys Best Treat Her Right First . Boys Best Be Stepping Up As Baby Daddys If They Tap Dat " And many more golden rebellious posters - Shouting " Go Go Power Rangers " when dealing with a problem and just out of nowhere any kid wearing the appropriate Power Ranger colored shirt would appear So you'd get a guy in red , a guy in blue , a guy in black , a guy in white , a guy in green , a guy in gold , a guy in silver, a girl in pink and a girl in yellow and they'd all pose dramatically and do the Power Rangers moves - Rubber band slingshot warfare using hairpins as ammo - The school dividing into Benders and Non Benders , and the school's most loved outcast was deemed Avatar( I got the honor so my squad was nicknamed accordingly ) - High School Musical was the biggest thing ever because our music teacher WROTE THE SCORES FOR THEM I MEAN....... We all knew every song by heart that year Everyone shipped Chad and Ryan 11th Grade( I was 17 ) -Percy Jackson was huge and everyone wanted a godly parent - Every girl used a dramatic break up song to end things with her man it was GLORIOUS - Taylor Swift was playing on the radio every day - My class finally realized that my friend Courtney and I had the same exact birthday and birth year , and thus introduced us to substitute teachers as ' The Fraternal Twins' Courtney and I are both gonna be 23 on March 20 at 6:40 am - Our history teacher thought my friends and I were in an assassin cult because we were always drawing kunai knives and swords and guns , so he banned kunai drawing????? And it thus became the Cool Thing to graffiti everywhere??? All because I drew one on my ASVAB???? -The sheriff pulled me out of homeroom because I'd been overheard singing P!nk's " Funhouse" and the Secretary thought I was an arsonist because of the line " I'm gonna burn this sucker down " and thus rumors spread like wildfire that I'd: ~ Murdered someone ~ Witnessed a crime ~ Started a gang war ~ Shot a cop ~ Robbed the one gas station in town ~ Insulted the sheriff's daughter by not inviting her to my birthday party so he was here to bribe me to do so ~ Stolen the sheriff's prized collection of horse paintings 12th Grade ( I was 18 ) - Posters everywhere about the world ending ( it was 2012) - Harry Potter mania - John Lennon Memes???? No really on the anniversary of his death the school was flooded with posters of him everywhere saying " In Loving Memory Of A Dreamer " and the radio only played his music and the drama class went around stating facts about his death it was surreal and I was part of it

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 119 - 125

DAY ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN

8:15 AM - I’m awake! I roll out of bed, get ready and head out.

8:40 AM - I stop at Cartel because I’m out of toddy at the office. Barista hooks it up and I tip. $1

9:00 AM - At the office on time! I make toast and toddy for tomorrow.

11:45 AM - We go get lunch without my boss at Chop Shop. I get a salad burrito (which I refuse to call a wrap) and a lemonade. $16.03

4:30 PM - I head home.

5:00 PM - As soon as I walk in the door, I finish the dishes, clean the counters, and put away my DJ gear from the previous week. Everything looks so. much. better.

5:30 PM - Boyfriend calls from Charlotte. We chat for a while and I check the weather. I want to mow the lawn, but if it’s going to be cooler tomorrow, I’ll put it off. Looks like I’ve bought myself another day!

7:00 PM - I start my car and it’s having a hard time getting going. This happened at lunch too, so I know I’m in need of a new car battery. I had planned to go to the mall and then to the gym, but I don’t think my car will be able to take both of those trips without being jumped, so I run to O’Reilly Auto Parts. The guy who is working is really nice and actually installs the battery for me. I brought tools to do it myself, but I’m happy for the help. Last time my battery died, I had to walk there and back to my house with the battery, so I just sit back and watch him install it. I actually don’t have quite enough money left over for the month to make this purchase which is very annoying. I thought I was gonna end the month +$100 or so but it’s gonna be about -$20. Oh well. $142.99

7:20 PM - I drive to the mall and do a lap.

8:00 PM - I stop at Taco Bell and get a Crunchwrap with my new found obsession: Breakfast Salsa. $3.56

8:30 PM - I then go to the gym. LOL.

10:00 PM - Home! Glad to be here. I do my totals for the month and decide to transfer the difference of $1500 to make up for the car battery. I am really trying not to go over and take this budgeting thing super seriously. I end up overspending by $27.79 for the month of July because of the dumb battery. I end up transferring $1940something but it’s just stupid because that’s basically one of my paycheck amounts. I should have just deposited my paycheck into #NOTSIMPLE instead of my normal checking account today.

DAY ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN TOTAL: $162.58

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY

8:30 AM - I am awake! I roll out of bed and make my way to work.

9:05 AM - I am making a conscious effort to get here before 9:00. Damn.

9:15 AM - Toddy and toast.

10:00 AM - There is a show in Chicago that I am interested in going to in November. It’s stupid expensive considering who is playing, but I buy two tickets anyways. I hope I can actually go. And with that, this week is off to a rocky start. $61.25

12:00 PM - I walk to Sprouts and get some hot dog buns, veggie dogs, and a bag of hatch green chile chips. For the most part, this should last me for the rest of the week. $9.33

5:35 PM - I stop at Taste on my way home and run into the roaster for Cartel. Me and his friend convince him that he should open a tiki bar. I get a Ska something or another. It’s sour and super delicious. $6

7:30 PM - I run out of time. Boyfriend is landing at 9:00 so I just order Jimmy Johns. $10

9:45 PM - Boyfriend and I are home. This is easily the longest we’ve been apart since my mom got sick two years ago. For the first time in a week, I can feel myself starting to relax.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TOTAL: $86.58

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-ONE

8:30 AM - Today is a day where I will try to spend no money.

8:55 AM - I arrive at work and pour myself a toddy and make a piece of toast.

11:30 AM - I make myself a veggie dog and eat it with some hatch green chili chips. This is for sure a winning combination.

12:00 PM - I decide to take a walk around Old Town. I am in a Fitbit competition with my neighborhood friend and it’s neck and neck.

5:45 PM - I’m so happy to be home. We are going to my friend’s trivia night, so I snack on a bag of chips and we head out relatively early.

7:00 PM - I pay the parking meter downtown. $3

7:15 PM - I get a glass of wine, a Perrier for my boyfriend, and a small container of popcorn. I later come back and get a cider. $14.76

7:30 PM - We are terrible at this. Even with a team of eight, we suck.

9:00 PM - We walk out with a Finding Dory poster as our 10th place prize.

10:00 PM - We try to eat at Gallo Blanco but they have a limited menu, and boyfriend wants me to experience the whole restaurant, so we head to Del Taco instead. I get hash browns and an 8 layer veggie burrito. He pays.

11:00 PM - We fall asleep almost immediately after eating.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-ONE TOTAL: $17.76

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-TWO

8:45 AM - I finally roll out of bed and head to work.

9:15 AM - Toddy and toast.

11:00 AM - After talking with my sister, I figure out my Chicago dates. I book the flight and am just kind of bummed. So much money this week. Hopefully I’ll get it back on track next week! $266.96

12:00 PM - I eat a veggie dog and chips. At least I’m getting my money’s worth out of my lunch investment?

4:00 PM - I eat a coconut ice-cream sandwich.

5:30 PM - It’s storming like crazy and I really think the supplements I’ve been taking for my vaginal issues are not winning the fight. I stop by Fry’s and get a package of filo dough, a package of AZO Yeast+ pills, and an off brand Monistat. $24.28

7:45 PM - We go eat at Sweet Tomatoes. It’s super good, but I’m tired of spending money. $24.84

8:30 PM - We head home. I spend the rest of the night reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in my PJs while boyfriend plays video games.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-TWO TOTAL: $316.08

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE

8:00 AM - I get a notification from PayPal saying my transfer was successful. I now have to way 1-2 more days for it to hit #NOTSIMPLE.

8:30 AM - Will this be the day I spend $0? No because I have to get gas. $24.14

12:00 PM - I leave work and grab a Crunchwrap at Taco Bell. #BreakfastSalsa I take it home and eat and catch my breath. I am definitely dehydrated so I drink some Gatorade too. $3.56

1:45 PM - I go to AZ Mills and do two laps while catching Pokemon.

3:00 PM - I go to the gym and read Harry Potter while I walk / jog alternately on the treadmill.

4:00 PM - Home. We’re going to Tucson in a couple house and my boyfriend is insane when we go on trips regardless of size. I decide to make a large snack so I don’t have to worry about the food situation (he usually doesn’t eat at all when we do night trips like this). We really don’t have much food at home, but I make some buttered garlic noodles with nutritional yeast. They remind me of my childhood.

7:30 PM - We get to Tucson. There is a show at the Flycatcher that a bunch of my boyfriend’s friends are playing. I tag along him for most of the night but eventually end up catching up with a couple of my own Tucson friends. I get a whiskey sour on boyfriend’s tab and then another friend buys me one more. It’s really hot in the venue and outside so I tap out pretty fast.

1:15 AM - We head out and stop at a gas station on the way out of town. I get some almonds. Boyfriend pays.

3:00 AM - I doze in and out for the last 45 minutes of our drive, but we finally make it home and both crash in bed.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE TOTAL: $27.70

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR

10:30 AM - Sleeping in feels so good! I have a headache today and am not feeling that great. I drink some Gatorade and take some Advil and start to perk up a little bit.

11:00 AM - We stop at Cartel for coffee. Boyfriend pays.

11:30 AM - Boyfriend’s been trying to take me to Gallo Blanco for about a week now and today’s the day! I get a veggie taco and a bowl of veggie pasole. It’s very very delicious. I take home half the posole and boyfriend pays. What a guy!

12:45 PM - We arrive home and we are both pretty out of it. I end up flip flopping back and forth between my phone and Harry Potter while boyfriend naps.

4:00 PM - We leave and head to Zia and the mall. I buy nothing at either, but we do stop to play some pinball. We pay with our pre-charged game cards, but it is way too crowded for either of us, so we quickly bounce.

6:00 PM - We head to Sprouts and get groceries. We’re super out of everything, so I get pasta, garbanzo beans, pickles, hummus, salsa, tortilla chips, green chili potato chips, two frozen breakfast burritos, some miscellaneous veggies, and three different kinds of almonds. $51.14

8:00 PM - We eat veggie sandwiches for dinner with watermelon and spend the rest of the night hanging out and reading Harry Potter.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR TOTAL: $51.14

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE

8:30 AM - Good morning!

9:00 AM - Coffee and Bagels. I spot us the coffee with my gift card and boyfriend treats bagels.

9:30 AM - We head over to Tempe Marketplace and stop in at Target. I buy some bleach tabs for our toilets and a bottle of hand soap. $9.92

10:00 AM - We head over to Barnes and Noble. Boyfriend buys a couple books and I buy one about making tiki cocktails. Unfortunately, it looks like that’s the cheapest part of making one of these drinks. $32.43

11:00 AM - We shop in a couple more stores but both walk out empty handed.

12:00 PM - We arrive home. Boyfriend falls asleep for a little bit and I dig into my book.

2:00 PM - I start working on some social media stuff for my ecomm project. I’m interrupted at some point and my boyfriend and I head over to my office to grab my DSLR camera but then head back. I work on stuff for another 3-4 hours and finally tap out around 7:30.

DAY ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE TOTAL: $42.35