#Joel miller x wife!reader

[foli-vora]

once again in your arms

joel miller x f!reader

A/N: mwahah, hello boys i’m baaack (10 points to whoever knows what movie that quote's from). took an unexpected break coz life, but i’m ready to get back on track. this was requested by a beautiful anon a while back (sorry for the wait angel), but i hope you enjoy! x

Request: hello! so this is kinda angsty: joel and the reader are married and have a baby (plus sarah, obviously). the day of the outbreak, reader and baby were in town and she couldnt call joel (or viceversa) cause the phone lines were down. they were separated for a few years until they arrives at the quarantine zone he's in, and he recognizes them in the crowd.

Word count: 4.5k-ish

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, birth and having a baby, domestic fluff, angst, pre and post outbreak, some spoilery things if you haven’t seen the show yet, heartbreak, loss of a child, apocalypse things, i sweat at the idea of caring for a baby during the end of the world, soft reunions, fluff, cameos of my fave oc’s made in a different series

It’s a fact you had learnt in the very early days of your relationship... the Miller men knew how to care for a lady. Whether it was Tommy sliding in to open the door for you before you could reach for the handle, or Joel draping you in blankets and taking on the responsibility of keeping your hot water bottle warm to fend off cramps for the evening, not a moment went by when you didn’t feel the constant reassurance of their care.

Especially now, fresh from the hospital and tender from your days of excruciating pain and an extensively long labour, Tommy quickly slaps the pillows into something plusher, hands gentle as they guide you down until you’re reclining into the armchair.

Joel keeps an eye on you from across the room, the brief wash of concern slipping away with the easy smile that grows along his lips when your eyes meet.

He rocks the wrapped bundle in his arms softly, a big hand dwarfing the small head that peaks from the blankets. His fingers brush through the light smattering of hair peeking out from the cotton burrito, his index running along the tiny peak of a nose and you feel your heart swell in your chest.

“Dad,” Sarah whines with an eager smile, shifting restlessly on the couch, “come on, I’ve been waiting all weekend.”

“Oh my god,” Joel drawls sarcastically, “all weekend? Baby girl, how are you survivin’ right now?”

“Shut up,” her grin widens, “give me my baby brother before I explode.”

“Well, we don’t want that mess all in the livin’ room,” Joel quips, stepping over your weekend bags tossed on the floor and closer to the couch, “ain’t treadin’ your brain all into the rug—thing was damn expensive.”

Sarah shrugs, readjusting her body to sit straighter and holding her arms out expectantly, “Least I have a brain.”

Tommy snorts in amusement, grinning at his brother's expense, “That’s true.”

“Are you still here?” Joel side eyes him, barely fighting the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

They bicker, throwing their little snippy sibling comments back and forth before Sarah clears her throat, her eyebrows rising in impatience.

“Alright, alright. Here, watch his head,” Joel instructs gently, a smile playing along his lips, “that’s it, baby, you got him.”

It’s a beautiful picture, Sarah carefully bringing the baby closer and tucking him carefully into her arms, and the sentiment is shared with Tommy as the flash and click of a camera goes off. He removes the polaroid sliding from the slot and sits it on the coffee table to develop before instructing Joel to slide in next to her and smile.

Both Joel and Sarah are oblivious to his instruction, lost in the bubble that has overcome them. You find peace watching them, warmth spreading along your limbs by the sweet tenderness of it all. The love is clear between the three of them cuddled on the couch, and it’s almost too much for your heart to bear.

Sarah beams down at her baby brother, cooing soft words and stroking a gentle finger down Matthew’s cheek. Joel throws an arm to rest on the top of the couch behind Sarah, turning into her and answering her questions quietly.

8 pounds, 3 ounces. Smaller than you. No, he didn’t cry at all—gave me and the docs a damn heart attack. She sure did a great job. 

Your Joel was never a man to wear his heart on his sleeve, but the emotion shines from his eyes, bleeds through the lines in his face and it’s enough to bring tears building along your lash line.

“You okay over there?”

His familiar drawl brings your attention to him, and you smile at him, tired and fully at peace. It’s bliss, despite the ache of birth still hanging in your limbs. M

“I’m fine,” you respond quietly, lids heavy with exhaustion, “I’m just so happy.”

He fucking beams. His grin creases his cheeks and he nods softly.

“Me too, honey,” he mutters, turning his attention back to his children and playing with a strand of Sarah’s hair as he gazes down at Matthew, “me too.”

—

Four months later.

Chaos.

Matthew wails against your chest, the deafening sounds of screams, bullets, sirens and explosions setting him off into hysterics. Your arms tighten around him, keeping his face tucked closely into your throat so your scent could hopefully provide him some reassurance.

You crouch beside cars, you run until your legs ache. You take cover in stores, the soles of your shoes crunching over broken glass of the shattered windows. Every phone you try gives nothing but a dull tone. Radios are filled with static and emergency broadcasts play on the view screens you run past in your effort to escape whatever the hell is happening.

Worry stirs along the edges of your mind. Is Joel okay? Sarah? Tommy? You can’t call him, you can only run and hope nothing takes you down in your effort to get back to your car. You pass people crouched over others, blood smearing along their lips as they tear unforgivingly into the flesh of another.

It’s a nightmare, and it’s everywhere you look.

Almost there.

You see the sign of the parking lot and it only makes you run that much faster, even though your legs threaten to give out at any minute. You pass an elderly man crouching beside a woman, blood flowing from the open gash on her throat, and the ache clutching your heart only increases when his pleas reach your ears over the mayhem.

“Gloria,” he mutters in an aged rasp, “up you get, love. You’re alright, come on now—”

You can’t help it.

Somewhere in your mind you can feel Joel screaming at you to keep running, to get yourself to safety and not give a damn about anyone other than Matthew, but the image of this man cradling his wife’s wrinkled, bloodied hand is enough to get you advancing to him before anyone could hurt him. 

“Sir—”

He ignores you, too busy with brushing the woman’s blood soaked white hair from her face.

“Sir, we have to move—”

You wrap your fingers around his shoulder and shake firmly. His head gives a shake of denial as he clutches his wife’s hand tighter.

“No… no, she’ll need help—she has a bad ankle.”

Shifting Matthew unsteadily onto your hip, your fingers wrap under his arm and tug him onto his feet. He fights you, bats your hold away with an infuriated expression at your rough handling of him.

“I’m so sorry, but she’s gone—we have to run. I—I have a car, please… just come with me, please!”

“I won’t leave her—”

“Please… they’re coming! I—would she want this for you? To die like this?”

He blinks, his frown softening ever so slightly before screams pierce the air, much closer than you anticipated, and terror claws up your throat until you feel you’ll vomit.

You hold out a hand, relieved when his own rough, calloused hand finally takes it, and then you’re running, albeit slower than before, but you make it to your car with no issues.

You dive into the driver's seat, passing Matthew over to the stranger when he makes an impatient gesture to hold him and then you’re tearing out of the lot, running down the few rabid looking beings that advance on you with bloodied expressions of hunger.

You don’t think you take a proper breath until you’re past a military barricade that had seemingly been destroyed in the attack, flying down the highway and around other panicked drivers with sweat slicking your skin. 

Taking a deep breath to slow the brutal pounding of your heart, you look at Matthew, now calmed and looking up at the stranger with an obvious shine of curiosity. The old man is clearly softened by the baby, letting his small hand wrap around his finger and wiggling it playfully in his hold.

“That’s Matthew,” you mutter shakily, meeting the eyes of the elderly man before gazing back out the windscreen. You take another breath before giving your own name, tears biting at your eyes when you utter the name Miller.

Do you still have a husband? A step daughter? A brother in law? The unknown scares you, outright fucking terrifies you. 

The man nods in your peripheral vision.

“Harold,” he finally says, voice rough and tired.

—

There are people everywhere, screaming, crying.

People run, shout, wail over family and friends.

Tears have long dried on his face, his head thumping relentlessly with the remnants of his heartbreak. Tommy’s grip is firm on him, tugging him out of the way of people tearing down in their direction, pulling him to where a makeshift table is thrust under a tent as a reception of sorts.

He doesn’t care about the people already there asking about their family and friends. He shoves them out of the way, hands shaking as they clutch the edge of the weak table.

“I’m lookin’ for a woman… she’d be with a baby boy, not even four months old—”

His voice shakes. He can’t get it to stop. He struggles to get out the detailed descriptions of you both down to the clothes you were wearing, speaking your names through trembling lips. His stomach jolts at the thought of you somewhere, lying helplessly on the floor with your flesh getting torn into while Matthew screams in his car seat.

He’s a damn baby. He wouldn’t know what’s happening, wouldn’t know why his mama’s not there with him—

The woman gives a small expression of sympathy over the thin surgical mask covering her mouth, “I’m sorry, sir. We’ve had no babies that young come through, and nothing like that has come in over the radios.”

He retches. 

His body heaves, almost as if it’s rejecting the mere idea that you weren’t somewhere safe waiting for him. He had failed. Failed to keep Sarah safe, failed to keep Matthew safe, you—the vows he had made now meant shit. He hadn’t been there for better or worse. He’d hadn’t done what a father should have and kept his kids free from harm.

Sarah had died, terrified and in agony, in his hold. Her bloodied handprints remain dry and caked on his arms. Matthew had died, not even making it to six months. A baby, still fresh to the world, only just able to hold his own head up. You had died, not knowing where he and Sarah were, if they were even safe.

Tommy hauls him to a close trash can, rubbing a firm hand up and down his back as he chokes on vomit, tears soon streaming down his cheeks when his body eventually has nothing left to give. His heart hammers in his chest, thundering against his ribs and filling his ears until he’s unaware of the noises around him. 

“They’re gone,” he whispers hoarsely, clutching at the rim of the trash can in an effort to keep himself up.

“Now we don’t know that—”

“God damn it, Tommy, you saw what it was like out there!” 

Tommy sighs, his own eyes filling with tears. “We gotta keep hope, Joel—”

“Hope?” Joel spits at his brother, “What good is hope against that shit out there? She would’ve been alone, you know as well as I Matthew only would’ve slowed her down. They were in the city. We couldn’t even keep safe out here! They’re—they’re gone. My wife… my baby boy, my baby girl—”

The sobs tear from his chest, harsh and painful. He mourns for hours, unseeing of the flurried movement still happening around him, his sorrow mixing with the flood of agony filling the makeshift safe zone with every new unhurt civilian looking for someone familiar.

Tommy doesn’t take his arms away from around his brother until dawn starts to pierce the horizon, 

—

Two years later.

He still fills your thoughts daily.

Your life, your old life, would flash behind your eyelids at night when sleep would finally claim you. You’d feel his touch, kiss his lips, touch his face. It all felt so normal. The dreams would be nothing but memories, and somehow, it made them feel more like nightmares.

Mornings making breakfast with Sarah, dancing to the music falling from the radio. Family game nights, watching Tommy and Joel get more and more competitive with each game. Grocery shopping with Joel, simply wandering down the aisles and relishing in his comforting touch warming your lower back. 

You could never quite make peace with the possibility that he was dead. It didn’t sit right. The idea that your Joel had been lost to the disaster that had claimed the world just seemed impossible. Your heart rejected the notion, refused to accept that its counterpart wasn’t somewhere out there, living, breathing, surviving,

Sarah and Tommy, too.

They had to be somewhere, holed up safely and keeping well. They had to.

“They’ve established a quarantine zone close by,” you say quietly, mindful of Matthew sleeping on your lap, “it’ll be a lot safer there than out here. I think we should give it a go… find a more secure place to live. I’ve heard they have work available, good flow of food and medicine…”

Harry snorts quietly, shifting under his old, thick jacket, “That doesn’t mean they’re happy giving it out. There’ll be a catch somewhere.”

You eye the long carved frown in his features and lean forward to fix the blanket covering his tired legs, “Don’t you think we should try at least?”

“Maybe they’ll put a bullet in me,” Harry grumbles moodily, “I’m old—I can’t work like they’ll want me to. Although, it’ll beat living through this bloody nightmare any longer.”

“Harold,” you chide softly, heart aching at the thought of losing the grumpy old man after spending so long by his side.

He’d quickly become a grandfather figure of sorts, to both you and Matthew. The little boy was obsessed with him, and had been since the day you had come together, and though he tried to hide it behind his usual icy facade, Harry was smitten, weak from the boy learning to call him pa.

“He’ll be safer in there,” Harry finally grumbles, gazing at the sleeping toddler. “This is no life for him out here. It’s getting worse and worse. Stability will do him good.”

“And you’ll come with us?”

He sighs sharply, crossing his arms over his chest. “Fine—I’ll come. But if they don’t kill me, I’ll be bloody upset with you.”

You snort in amusement, a grin curling your lips. “Fair enough. Now drink your soup.”

“I’m not hungry. You have it.”

He shoves it away, pushing it in your direction, as he usually does. It’s a daily fight—him refusing food in favour of giving you and Matthew more, ensuring you both never went hungry despite his own hunger and rapid weight loss due to the sudden lack of food.

You give him a playful frown and hold the small cup out to him.

“Don’t make me force feed you, old man, drink it.”

—

The walls of the Quarantine Zone are a lot more daunting than you had originally thought they would be. They tower high, and the barely there movement of soldiers along the front and top of it have nerves start to build in the pit of your stomach.

Maybe this isn’t a good idea. Surely they wouldn’t shoot without asking questions? Would they even give you a chance? What happens to you if the zone is full? Would they let you go on your merry little way?

God, you feel sick. 

The ice creeping along your skin doubles, and you tighten your grip on the baby carrier strapped to your chest. Matthew hums quietly against your back, his little fingers tracing random patterns along your shirt as he bounces with your each step. Harry walks somewhat steadily beside you, his cheeks reddening with the more distance you cover.

He gives you a reassuring nod when you look to him for guidance, and you continue forward, swallowing the lump building in your throat when you become aware of them yelling about your presence.

Their guns are raised when you eventually make it closer, and it’s automatic to throw your hands up in surrender.

“We’re not infected!” you shout, hoping they’d listen. 

A soldier steps forward. “On the ground, now!”

“Shit. Okay! Please, I—we’re not infected—”

“Get. On. The. Ground!”

“I have a kid! I have a—please, we’re not—”

“Get the kid out.”

Panic flares to life in your chest. You fight the tremble in your fingers as they raise to the clip across your chest, winding a supportive hand around to your back to keep Matthew from falling out of the carrier as it loosens from your torso.

After a bit of shifting, Matthew stands on shaky legs, his eyes darting between you and the few soldiers with their weapons raised.

“It’s okay, baby,” you soothe softly, “we gotta do what the man says, okay? Can you do that for mama?”

You continue to lower until your front hits the rubble covered ground, and you motion for Matthew to do the same, heart breaking as he cowers in fear and falls to his knees before copying your posture and hiding his face against the road.

More voices fill your ears, the obvious presence of more soldiers swarming from the gate causing your pulse to skyrocket as Harry lowers on the other side of the small toddler.

“Check ‘em.”

“Everything’s fine,” you murmur, keeping your gaze on Matthew and smiling when he peeks at you from between his fingers, “we’re okay. Keep your eyes on me, baby. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

It stings.

You automatically flinch away from the device someone holds at your neck, freezing when more weapons are raised in your direction. The device gives a small beep and the soldier gives a loud clear, before moving for Matthew.

He cries out at the pain, his chest heaving with his growing sobs. The guns move in his direction and you’re flying towards him before you can even think, yelping when arms pull you away from your baby before you can console him. His screams worsen. 

“Please,” you beg, “he’s just a baby—!”

The soldiers remain emotionless.

Another beep, another clear.

The fingers digging into your arms loosen and then you’re free, hurriedly crawling on all fours until Matthew’s in your arms, his tear stricken face pressing into your throat. You soothe him softly, murmuring how well he did and that he’s safe with you while the soldiers move their attention to Harry.

When the device gives a final clear, another soldier steps forward, a small smile stretching his lips.

“Sorry about that,” he says, stepping forward until he’s only a step away, “but we can’t be too careful.”

It’s surreal being around people again.

For the longest time, it’s just been you, Matthew and Harry. The people left after the event had turned cruel, desperate for any remaining resources and resulting to violence left, right and centre. It’d been sheer luck that you three had escaped some of the nastier characters you’d come across during your treks. Sure, you’d lost a few supplies every now and then, but you were thankful you all were still here at least.

The man leads you into an office of sorts, with rusted old chairs to sit on while he goes about ‘registering’ you. You’re surprised at the process of it all, confused when he says you’re in luck because after this morning, there are new rooms available. What does that mean? Had something happened to the occupants?

Your stomach turns, but you dare not dwell on it.

Safety for Matthew, that’s all that matters. That’s why you’re here.

It feels like hours before you’re stepping into the sun again, lead out onto a relatively normal looking street with written directions to your new accommodation. The door bangs loudly behind you, fully closing you from the horrors of the outside world, and you try not to focus on the looks of curiosity, borderline hostility, as you start to walk further into the QZ, the height of the wall casting a large shadow over your path.

There’s a main square of sorts, filled with small stations of people selling various items. Your stomach grumbles at the sight of shitty looking food, desperate to eat something other than the random old bits and pieces you’d find through your looting, but you’d have to begin work to even afford a single half burnt bread roll. The two ration cards you had received at your ‘registration’ wouldn’t make a dent in what you’d need to afford any of it.

You pass the sellers, sharing a sullen look with Harry as he too realises he wouldn’t have enough for any of it.

There’s crowds, and you try to keep to yourself as you move, but something catches your eye, as if your sight had been automatically pulled to that direction and you’re oblivious to the people bumping into your frame.

For a moment, you’re sure you’re dreaming.

Did they end up shooting you at the gate? This couldn’t be real, couldn’t be unfolding right before your very eyes. You feel alive. You feel your pulse, your breath. You feel Matthew shift in the carrier, you hear Harry making comments about the people and the surrounding buildings.

You can’t look away.

You’re pulled in his direction, certain with every bone in your body that it’s him. It’s him.

The man turns, and his eyes are meeting yours through the crowds before you can even brace for it, and you see the moment it hits him.

He freezes, his eyes unblinking as if they don’t want to risk losing the hallucination his mind had conjured. He steps forward, and again, and again, slow in his movements, cautious.

“Joel?” You breathe, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear you over the bustle of your surroundings and the distance between you, but he must see your lips mould his name because then he’s running, ducking through the people and heading straight your way.

You start to jog, careful not to disturb the carrier holding Matthew too much, and then he’s there. He’s there and he’s real and he’s saying your name so sweetly, a broken rasp of disbelief and a tremble taking over his hands as they raise to cup your cheeks.

You sob at his touch. 

The tears flow from your eyes and you grasp at whatever you can on him, your fingers tightening around the jacket hanging from his frame as you attempt to pour two years of loss into your embrace. He cradles the back of your head, keeps your face pressed tightly against the dirtied skin of his throat as he mutters brokenly about how he thought you were dead and that he’d missed you so damn much.

“Oh baby boy,” he rumbles, noticing the baby carrier and the toddler within it with tears filling his lash line, “look at you.”

You hurriedly unclip the harness and sweep Matthew out of it, bringing him into the middle of your embrace. Joel runs a hand along Matthew’s cheek before sweeping down and kissing him on the forehead, his tears dropping over the toddler’s cheeks in obvious relief and utter joy. 

“How—”

You shake your head, nuzzling into the rough hand holding your cheek. “Later. We’ll talk later about everything, I just—god, I’ve missed you so fucking much, Joel.”

His head lowers until his forehead is pressed against yours, and his eyes flutter closed. You feel it in the simple gesture, how much he had missed you, mourned for you. He gives a small nod, followed by a quiet okay, before another presence suddenly makes themselves known.

Your body jolts with the weight hitting your side, and you jump in fright before your eyes come across a slightly skinny looking Australian Shepherd desperate for attention.

His tongue lolls from his mouth as he attempts to lap at your cheek, and you chuckle through your stream of steady flowing tears at the cheerful dog.

“Chip,” Joel grunts in slight annoyance, shoving the fluffy beast away from where he tries to jump and sniff at Matthew’s cheeks, “down—down, boy!”

“You have a dog?” You ask in curiosity, reaching out to pet the animal. Your smile widens when he eagerly nuzzles into your touch with an excited whine.

“He was wanderin’ the QZ when I came in,” Joel replies, one of his hands leaving your waist to deliver a rough rub to the dogs head, “followed me home one night and hasn’t stopped botherin’ me since. Tommy said he’d be good for me.”

“Tommy’s here? And Sarah?” You perk immediately in excitement, your eyes flying past his shoulder to look for his brother and the other part of your heart that’s been missing for years. “I’m so glad they’re alright, where are they?”

You don’t notice how considerably quiet he’s gone until you look at him. He’s defeated, guarded, his dark eyes drawn to the floor. He can’t look at you. Why can’t he look at you? What’s happened?

“Joel?”

“Sarah… she—she—”

He struggles to finish the sentence, the words stick uncomfortably on his tongue. His features twist in clear anguish and you feel the world around you shatter. Sarah, she… she’s gone? When? How?

Your heart sinks, weak and broken by the unexpected news. Your mind struggles to wrap itself around the notion that you’d never see her again, that the last time you saw her was truly the last. 

Regret begins to build in the pit of your stomach. That last day… you should’ve hugged her tighter, kissed her forehead, told her how much she meant to you and how lucky you were to be in her life—

The tears begin again.

“Oh Joel, I-I’m so sorry,”

You both share the heartache, wrapped in each other's arms and breathing in the other. His tight hold doesn’t loosen for a second, and you attempt to put every ounce of energy in your tired body into returning it.

The world stands still, just like it did that cursed day.

How can you be so elated that he’s here, and yet be filled with so much pain at the same time? How long has he been lost, no doubt blaming himself for his baby girl not making it to where he is now? You mourn her, mourn him for being lost, stuck on a path of despair and believing he had lost everything for so long.

What had become of him? What had the pain done to him? Surely it would’ve been pure torture for the man who practically breathed family. 

Harry can wait. Introductions can wait. Food, drink, sleep—you care for none of it. Not now. All that matters is that Joel is here, truly here in the flesh, wrapped in your arms and holding the child he hasn’t seen for two years. All that matters is that you had found one another in the violent hellscape the world had become.

Peace, but that tranquillity will forever be tainted by loss, a void hanging in the midst of relief, never to be filled again.

-

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[honeyedmiller]

Ring | Joel Miller

pairing: husband!joel x wife!reader

warnings: tommy’s being a little shit lol, marriage, reader is unintentionally oblivious for a bit, no outbreak, reader is depicted to be shorter than joel, au where ellie is joel and reader’s adopted daughter but she’s only very briefly mentioned, smut (bathroom quickie), slight jealousy, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

word count: 2k

synopsis: Tommy teases Joel about you and him having marriage problems when he notices you aren’t wearing your ring.

quick one shot in honor of 700 followers??? oh my god?? i love u all sm thank you!!!

this was honestly kinda poorly written. forgive me :’)

“Hey big brother, what’s up with you and your girl?” Tommy asks, brows furrowed as he leans up against the counter next to Joel.

“Hell are ya talkin’ about, Tommy?” Joel continues to chop onions for the barbecue you guys were throwing today.

“Are you guys, I dunno, having marriage problems?” Tommy quirks a brow, and Joel halts his movements. He sets the knife down on the counter while averting his gaze up to his brother, expression clearly displaying pure annoyance.

Tommy might’ve bugged the shit out of Joel, but he knew he had good intentions. So why the hell would he be asking this?

“What makes you say that?” Joel crosses his arms over his chest now, waiting for Tommy to spew some bullshit at him.

“She’s not wearin’ her ring.” Tommy shrugs, and Joel’s permanent furrowed brow lines deepen even further.

“The hell she ain’t. She always wears her ring.” Joel argues back.

“Go see for yourself big brother.” Tommy gestures outside, where Joel pushes past him and slides open the glass door to find you at the cooler talking with some random new guy from the neighborhood. Joel noticed that he was trying to flirt with you, and being the naturally kindhearted and welcoming person you were, you didn’t catch on.

Joel also noticed that Tommy was right—you weren’t wearing your ring.

If there was one thing that Joel learned from you over the years you’ve been together and three years married, it was how to properly communicate his feelings. He used to be so closed off and would bottle everything up, letting stuff bother him until he became so distant.

You weren’t having any of that, though, so you sat him down one day and told him that you needed proper communication between you both. You were a saint with Joel, being so patient and kind to him as he was trying to unlearn his previous ways of shutting himself out from everyone around him when he didn’t exactly know how to communicate something.

Some days were harder than others, but ever the sweetheart you are, you never rushed him or got irritated when he couldn’t exactly seem to form his words to you. You just held him and kissed him repeatedly, letting him know it was okay and he could take his time.

This time around, he didn’t seem to have a single bit of a problem telling you what he was feeling. So, he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your temple to show the man that was so clearly interested in you that you were taken.

“Hey darlin’.” Joel rasps into your ear, kissing your shoulder afterward.

“Hey baby. This is Dominic. He’s new to the neighborhood. Dominic, this is my husband, Joel.”

Joel sported a shit-eating grin when Dominic’s body went rigid at the word husband. Joel stuck his hand out to him, and Dominic apprehensively shook his hand. Joel’s grip was firmer than it regularly was, and Dominic flinched in the slightest.

“Thanks for keeping my beautiful wife some company while I got stuff ready for the grill.” Joel’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and you looked up at him with a quirked brow.

He offered you a tight-lipped smile when his gaze met yours, clearing his throat. “Can I steal you for a minute, baby?” He asks, arms possessively wrapping around your frame. You nod, confused as to why Joel was acting a bit strange suddenly.

He intertwines your hand with his, and you excuse yourself from Dominic as Joel led you into the house and up to your bedroom.

“What’s this about, Joel?” You question as he closes the bedroom door, locking it behind him.

“Where’s your wedding ring at, baby?” He asks, looking down at you. A glint of something flashes across his eyes, but you couldn’t put your finger on what.

“‘S in my jewelry box. I didn’t wanna lose it helping around the backyard today or swimming if I did, so I knew it would be safe in there instead. Why?” Your curiosity is piqued.

Joel slowly maneuvers himself past you and over to your jewelry box, opening the top of it to firstly find your wedding ring neatly placed.

He takes the ring out of the jewelry box and walks over to you, grabbing your left hand to slip it onto your ring finger once more. Right where it belongs, perfectly fitted. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly.

“Tommy’s bein’ a little shit, as always. Came into the kitchen with assumptions that we were having ‘marriage problems’ because you weren’t wearing your ring.” He tsked, shaking his head.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Y’gotta stop letting Tommy get into your head, J. I love you, I’m yours, and I’m not going anywhere.” You reassured him, and his lips curled up in the slightest.

“I know baby, I just can’t help but feel jealous when I see another man flirting with my woman.”

“Jealous? Of who?” You were puzzled at Joel’s confession, resting a steady hand on his warm chest.

“That new neighbor. Dylan or whatever the fuck his name is.” Joel spat.

You had no idea Dominic was even flirting with you. You thought he was just being friendly. Fuck, maybe Joel was right. Maybe you are oblivious sometimes.

You wrap your hands around the back of his neck, pulling him down so his lips envelope yours. One hand of his is splayed over the small of your back while the other rests on the outside of your thigh, rubbing small circles into your exposed skin. The dress you were wearing today was just another distraction for Joel and a reminder that he needed to behave himself or else the whole neighborhood would hear you saying his name like a prayer on Sunday morning.

Joel’s cock stirred at the thought, and he groaned into the kiss. You pulled apart from him and moved your hands down to his chest again.

“C’mon cowboy, people are gonna wonder where we’re at.” You grin, going to the bedroom door to unlock it. You were about halfway down the hallway before Joel tugged you into the bathroom on your right side.

“They can wait.” He closed the door and pressed you up against it, locking the lock before smashing his lips to yours.

There was so much hunger behind his kiss. You felt slick start to pool onto your panties, the want in your core licking a flame up your body. You moan into the kiss, gripping the back of his head to mold yourself even further into him. It was nothing but teeth clashing, lips smacking, and fervor for one another as the kiss continued.

“Gotta make this quick, babydoll.” Joel finally broke the kiss as you softly whined, and he turned you around to move you in front of the wide mirror. You met his gaze through the reflection, nothing but hunger in his eyes.

He lifted up your dress and pulled your panties down your legs in one swift motion. His middle finger wasted no time in collecting the slick arousal between your legs, causing you to moan softly.

“Always so ready for me, baby.” Joel chuckled darkly as he brought his middle finger up to suck your arousal off of it. He looked you right into the reflection of your eyes as he did so. The sight was nearly pornographic.

You bite your lip and plead with your eyes; please please please just fuck me, Joel.

His middle finger made its way back down to your slick cunt before he pushed it into you, pumping languidly. He curled his thick finger to hit the spot that drove you wild, and you found yourself gripping onto the counter for dear life. You decided, though, that his finger just wasn’t enough in this moment.

“Please, J. I need you.”

“Need you too, baby.” Joel got the message clear as day, unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper and jeans button in record time, pulling down the fabric along with his boxers. His painful erection sprung free, and he lined himself up with your throbbing, aching cunt.

He easily found home in you as he sunk to the hilt, groaning at how good you felt around him.

“Be a good girl for me and tell me who you belong to.” Joel’s voice was dark, teetering on the line of possessive. You found it hot, though.

“Y-Yours, Joel. ‘M all yours.” You can barely say your words as he starts to rock his hips, deliciously stretching you out every time his hips collided with your ass.

“That’s it, baby, mine. No one else’s. Perfect little pussy is mine, you’re mine, mine.” He gritted into your hair, pulling you back against him by your waist as he rocked his hips up into you. You leaned your head back on his shoulder, moaning his name softly.

“Gotta be quiet, baby, can’t have anyone hearin’ us now.” Joel kissed you sloppily to hide your lewd moans, hips snapping up into you.

“Fuck, Joel, feel s’good.” Your words start to mesh together like you’re absolutely cock drunk.

Joel bends you back down over the sink and gently wraps his hand around your throat, forcing you to look up into the mirror as he pounds into you from behind.

“So fuckin’ beautiful. Takin’ me so well, sweet girl. Been teasin’ me with this little dress on all day.” Joel lets go of your throat and slides his hand down to your front, rubbing your clit in fast, circular motions.

You barely have time to process that your body is about to give into Joel’s expert touch. You squeeze your eyes shut, jaw falling completely slack as you let out an accidental loud moan. Joel didn’t even stop you that time, because he himself was already on the brink of an orgasm.

“Cum with me, my love.” Joel groans into your ear. You both let go and just let it happen, praying that the music playing in the backyard is loud enough to cover your wanton moans as you both come down from your orgasms. Joel was reluctant to move out of you at first, but he couldn’t take the way you were clenched down on him anymore.

You were so fucking intoxicating and if it were his choice, he’d gladly be buried into your sweet, warm cunt all of the time.

Reality trickled back in around you both as he pulled out of you with a groan, both breathless and panting. After readjusting and redressing himself, he grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet above the toilet and wet it, wiping down the excess of his remnants on the apex of your inner thighs. He planted a kiss on the back of your thigh, pulling your panties up on you as he stood back up.

He helped fix your hair and readjusted you so you looked almost completely normal, albeit your face felt hot and you had a post-fuck look on your face.

He brought you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he kissed your hair.

“I love you, baby.” He murmurs softly, rocking you for a minute.

“I love you too.” Your reached your left hand up to hook onto his forearm that was wrapped around you, giving it a squeeze. Your ring glinted in the sunlight that pooled into the bathroom window, and Joel smiled happily.

“We’ll continue this later tonight, baby. Maybe Sarah and Ellie can spend the night at a friend’s house tonight.”

Your lips curl into a smile at his suggestion, and you lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Let’s get back out to the party.” He pats your ass and opens the door, coming out after you. You make your way down the stairs, Joel hot on your trail.

Tommy gives Joel a knowing look of ‘I know exactly what you two were up to.’

Joel scoffs at Tommy and grumbles as he moves past his younger brother.

“Marriage problems my ass.”

tag list: @party-hearses ; @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @cool-iguana

[pedrospatch]

lean on me

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: It's been three months since you and Joel left your baby daughter with Bill and Frank in Lincoln; you aren't coping well and Joel tries to help you get through it.

pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA ((TW)) though it is not explicitly stated, it is implied reader is suffering from postpartum depression. mentions of being unable to breastfeed. angst, hurt, comfort, tiniest hint of fluff at the end.

word count: 3.7k

a/n: this was only meant to be a short drabble, but it ended up getting longer than i anticipated. sorry for more angst.

September, 2020

Joel had known things would get bad.

But he hadn’t expected for them to get this fucking bad.

He glanced across the table at Tess, quietly asking, “She eat today?”

Tess let out a small sigh, shaking her head. “Nope.” She picked up her chipped, ceramic mug and took a sip of crappy, two decades old dark roast coffee and stated, “She didn’t eat anything yesterday, either. Or the day before that or the one before that. I can barely get her to take a fucking sip of water these days.”

“Fuckin’ hell, Tess! We can’t just sit around watchin’ her starve herself,” he hissed at her, his hands curling into fists on the table. 

She shot him an irritated look. “You think I don’t know that already?”

“Tess—”

“What are we going to do, Joel? Pin her down and force feed her?”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his lips pressing together in a tight, thin line. He glanced over at you with a heavy, sinking feeling inside of his chest at the mere sight of your current state. 

You were sitting on the bed in the same pair of gray sweatpants you’d been wearing for the last couple of days, your knees pulled up to your chest as you stared blankly, vacantly, out of the window beside you at absolutely nothing. You were beginning to appear frail—the current tone of your skin was so dull, so washed out that anybody who took one glance at you would probably think that you had spent your entire life locked away in some basement, never having seen the fucking sunshine before. The pallor of your skin was only emphasized by the dark, bruise-like circles underneath your eyes, courtesy of the long and sleepless nights you’d been having, especially lately. 

You had fallen deep into a sadness, a darkness—one so deep that you had become nothing but a mere shadow of your former self. You were an empty shell of a human being and it was starting to scare the fucking shit out of Joel. 

“Maybe if we took her to see the baby?” Tess suggested, quietly. She took another sip of her coffee and then set her mug down. “Frank has been wondering why you two haven’t been over there to see her. Hell, even Bill is curious why I’ve been going over there alone.” After having done some digging around, Tess managed to find someone in the QZ who had helped her get her hands on homemade infant formula; it was worth gold and only ever went to officials of a higher ranking who could actually afford it. Somehow, she’d pulled a few strings and the next thing Joel knew, Tess was loading a pack full of cans to take over to Lincoln. She’d made a couple more trips since then, and each time, she had gone alone. “It’s been over three months, Joel. Maybe it’s finally time—maybe it would help her.”

“In her condition?” Joel shook his head, adamantly. “No. For one, she wouldn’t fuckin’ make it a mile down the road before collapsing—from exhaustion, from starvation, you name it. And even if she could make the trip somehow, the truth is, she’s not ready to see her.” He lowered his voice to keep you from overhearing him, although at this point, he was certain that you were too zoned out to even pay attention. Every word was probably going in through one ear and out the other. “I hate to say it, but she’s just not strong enough to see her yet, Tess.”

“And what about you, Texas? What’s your excuse?”

He glared at her. “You really think I can leave her here alone in a state like this while we go skippin’ off to Lincoln together?”

“Good point.” Tess paused and peered curiously at him. “You haven’t even told her what they named her, have you?”

“Don’t think that’s such a good idea right now, either.” Joel held back a heavy sigh as he looked down into his own mug of shitty coffee. A huge part of him wished that she hadn’t told him what Bill and Frank ended up naming the baby. Since then, his daughter’s name echoed in the back of his mind, over and over again, damn near constantly.

“Joel, if we don’t do something, she’s going to wind up—” Tess could see his jaw clench again and she stopped herself, choosing her words more carefully. “She’s walking on thin ice. She’s not eating, she’s not sleeping. She’s already been in lockup twice this week alone because she can’t even keep up with work detail anymore. I know this is hard for you to hear, but if something doesn’t change soon, things are only going to get worse from here—she’ll get worse. You’re the only one of the two of us who actually has a chance of getting through to her and you need to fucking do something.”

“Tess, I’ve tried—”

“Well fucking try harder, Joel. If you don’t, you’ll fucking lose her. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Joel rubbed his face tiredly with both of his hands. He knew it was nothing but the truth that she was speaking, but goddamn the truth fell onto his shoulders heavy, almost too heavy. It felt as though he were carrying the weight of the entire fucking planet. But she was right. If something wasn’t done, he was going to lose you. “Tess, you mind if I have a minute alone with her?”

She nodded and took one last gulp of coffee before standing up from the table. “Yeah. I have to go see Robert and a couple of his buffoons about something anyway.” As she walked past him towards the door, she stopped and tossed him a pointed look. “Maybe today is the day that you finally decide to give her that thing that you’ve been carrying around in your pocket,” she suggested. “We went through a lot of shit for it, Joel. It’s the reason we have been drinking crappier coffee than usual for the last two weeks.”

He nodded, watching her as she grabbed her jacket and left.

After a minute or two, Joel finally pushed himself away from the table and rose to his feet. He made his way over to you, and he wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised at how you didn’t turn to acknowledge him despite the sound of his heavy boots on the creaking hardwood floor. He said your name as he came closer to you, but you remained as still as a stone statue, your eyes still fixed outside of the window.

“Alright,” he said, standing next to you at the side of the bed, both of his hands placed firmly on his hips. “Enough is fuckin’ enough. I can’t and I won’t let you keep carryin’ on like this. Either you get up and get your ass over to that table and eat somethin’ or I’m going to pick you up off of this bed, take you over there, and feed you myself. And don’t think I won’t. I’ll tie you down to the chair if that’s what I’ve gotta do.”

Finally, you turned to look at him. You spoke, your voice sounding just as fragile as you looked. “I’m not hungry.”

Joel’s expression immediately softened.

Fuck. 

He couldn’t be tough on you, not in the state you were in—he thought being hard on you would be the way to get through to you, but he just didn’t have it in him to be stern with you, not when you were like this.

“Baby. Please.” He knelt down beside you, reaching for your hand. He winced at how frigid your hand felt in his palm, as if he were holding a block of ice. He brought his other hand up and placed it on top, doing his best to warm it up with both of his. “Look, I get it. I know that you miss her. I know that you’re hurtin’ over her. You might not think I get it, but I do.” He paused, feeling sick to his stomach upon noticing the lifelessness in your eyes. He almost wished that he could see you cry, because at least he would know for certain that you were still in there somewhere—but Joel hadn’t seen you shed a single tear since you’d broken down sobbing in his arms that night in Lincoln. “You just can’t keep goin’ on like this. You don’t eat, you’ve barely slept in weeks. You keep fallin’ behind with all your work assignments and you’ve landed yourself in lockup more times than I can fuckin’ count because of it.”

You simply shrugged, as if you couldn’t give two shits about any of it.

Joel managed to bite back his sigh of frustration. He knew that losing his temper would do nothing more than sink you further into the hole you were currently in. But he was angry. He was just so fucking angry about about everything. Here you were, just slipping right through his fucking fingers, slowly fading away right before his own two eyes and he didn’t know what to do to stop it from happening. He felt lost. He felt hopeless—useless. 

He squeezed your hand out of desperation. He would fucking plead if he had to. “I need you to fuckin’ snap out of it. Please,” he begged, as he continued holding your hand tightly, holding onto it as if he were holding onto dear life itself. “Please, for the love of fuckin’ god, I need you to just snap out of it. If not for yourself, fuckin’ do it for me—do it for her.”

“Snap out of it?” You repeated. “You want me to just snap out of it?”

“Baby, please just listen to me for one goddamn second—”

You snatched your hand out of both of his. “I can’t just fucking snap out of it, Joel!” You nearly shouted at him, speaking the loudest he’d heard you speak in several weeks. “Alright? I can’t snap out of it! My heart is shattered into pieces, don’t you fucking understand that?”

“‘Course I do. Givin’ her up was hard for me too,” he reminded you quietly, resisting the urge to match your tone. 

“And I don’t deny that,” You prefaced yourself. “I know it was hard on you too, Joel. But you’re not the one who came this close, this damn fucking close to aborting her.” You held up your index finger and your thumb close together. You’d started trembling as everything seemed to catch up to you all at once—sleep deprivation, malnourishment and of course, the emotions you had been bottling up inside of you for the last three months. “You’re not the one who carried her inside of your womb for almost nine months, who felt every one of her flutters and her kicks. You’re not the one who had to go through the excruciating pain of giving birth to her in this crumbling apartment, only to have to place her in someone else’s arms and leave her behind three days later. You’re not the one who had to deal with the aftermath, Joel. Do you know how much it fucking hurt not to be able to feed her? How much it fucking sucked to have to wait for your milk supply to dry up because you no longer had a baby to feed?”

For the first time in a long time, Joel was left speechless. 

He didn’t know what to say. Hell, there was nothing he could say.

Because you were absolutely fucking right.

None of what you’d just said to him was a lie. Of course he knew that giving the baby up had been a hundred times harder on you than it’d been on him—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. He thought back to the nights when he would see you sitting there with your own arms wrapped around your chest, knowing you were aching, knowing that although you said nothing about it, you were in unbearable pain from being unable to breastfeed. 

And what could he do about it?

Not a goddamn fucking thing.

Still, Joel had tried. He always made the attempt to comfort you, only to be shot down time and time again. He’d been so used to being the one who rejected any kind of support that, when the tables had been turned on him, he hadn’t known how to handle it. Joel could feel the guilt slowly creeping in as he wondered if perhaps he just hadn’t tried hard enough for you. He was your partner—it was his duty to take care of you, to look out for you, to protect you, and yet here he was, failing to do any of that. 

He could have done more. 

He should have done more.

Especially after all the friction he’d caused from the beginning of your pregnancy. From letting you go to those crooked motherfuckers for a procedure that could have cost you your life, down to the way he had treated you the night you’d brought up Sarah, it seemed as though all Joel had been doing was fucking up, time after time. 

Seeing the expression on Joel’s face, you immediately knew what he must have been thinking. Your eyes widened and you quickly uttered a nearly breathless apology. “Joel, I’m so fucking sorry—”

He stopped you, tightly shaking his head. “No, don’t be. It’s true, it’s all fuckin’ true.”

Finally, after three months of bone-dry eyes, a warm tear slipped out, falling down the side of your face. Your entire body shuddered as the flood gates opened and more followed in suit, each one falling faster, harder than the last. The next thing you knew, Joel had pulled himself up onto the mattress beside you, pulling you into his arms just as you had started sobbing. With one hand, he delicately cradled the back of your head as you cried and cried into his shoulder. The other rubbed a soothing circle into your back over and over again. 

And just like that night in Lincoln, Joel just held you, waiting patiently as you finally allowed yourself to release each and every single one of your emotions out into the open. He didn’t say a word to you, nor did he attempt to stop the tears—he just held you close, merely using his touch to silently let you know that he would wait as long as he had to until you were finished.

“Joel,” You sniffed his name, your hands clutching fistfuls of his shirt.

“I’m right here, baby,” he assured you, holding you even closer against him, as close as humanly possible. His heartbeat was right in your ear and you closed your eyes, listening to it and letting it calm you. “I told you I wasn’t gonna let you carry this pain alone, darlin’. You remember that?”

You nodded against his chest, whispering, “I remember.”

“Well then, you’ve gotta let me help you,” Joel said into your hair. “For three months, I’ve been tryin’ but you just keep pushin’ me away. It doesn’t work like that. I need you to lean on me. I need for you to let me back in and help you because the road you’re headin’ down right now is a dangerous one.” 

Opening your eyes, you pulled away from him slightly, just far enough to meet his worried gaze. You could see the absolute fucking hell that you had been putting him through and felt your heart clench painfully inside of your chest. “I know I can’t keep going on like this, Joel,” You admitted softly to him. “Believe me, I know that. I tried so hard to get a fucking grip. There have been so many days where I think to myself, today is the day that I’m going to get my shit together. But then I just think of her sweet and innocent little face and I just fall apart all over again.” You muffled another sob with the palm of your hand.

“Oh, baby.” He gave your body a gentle, but firm squeeze. If he could take your pain away, all of it, and carry it along with his own, he would do it in a fucking heartbeat. 

You swallowed harshly. “I know she is far better off where she is, Joel, I know that she is. I never want her falling into the hands of FEDRA. It kills me to think of her being here in this shitty fucking place, going to their shitty fucking school.” Your voice broke at the mere thought of it all. “We know what would happen, Joel. As soon as she comes of age and meets their requirement, they will put her through their recruiting program. After her training, they either deem her worthy of becoming a fucking ruthless officer or they will give her the shittiest civilian jobs making her work for scraps of nothing, the same way they do to us.”

Joel sighed, rubbing your back again. “I know, baby. I know. It’s why we did what we did. We did what we had to do to spare her from that shit.”

“But then there’s this selfish part of me that wants her back so badly, so fucking badly that it makes me fucking ache,” You confessed, guilt lacing your tone of voice. “I just want the hurt to stop. I want to be at peace with the decision that we made, but the way I miss her, it feels almost impossible. I feel like I’ll never be able to accept that this is the way things have to be.”

“You have to accept it—we have to accept it. We ain’t got a choice,” Joel spoke the truth to you as gently as he could, though he knew it wouldn’t make a difference.

“I know,” You whispered, your eyes glazing over with fresh tears.

He stared at you for a moment and then pressed his lips against your forehead. Deciding it was time to show you what he’d been keeping a secret from you, Joel reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small, crumpled up wad of brown tissue paper. With one of his arms still around you, he used both of his hands to unwrap the tissue paper only to reveal a delicate silver chain—a bit too old to be shiny, but still in good shape nonetheless. Joel picked it up and tossed the tissue off to the side. He held it up in front of you to give you a better look at it. 

A single white pearl hung from the chain. 

“Joel, where did you get this?” You gasped lightly, taking it from him with trembling fingers. You didn’t even want to know what the hell he must have had to do or trade for it. Sure, jewelry was one of the most useless items that anyone could possess in this world because it no longer had any monetary value, but if someone wanted something bad enough and another person had it, then advantage was going to be taken somewhere, somehow. 

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that, darlin’.”

You glanced up at him, an incredulous look in your eyes. “Joel.”

He almost chuckled, knowing you wouldn't let him off that easy. “I’d mentioned to Tess that I wanted to get you somethin’ special to carry around with you, somethin’ that would remind you of her. Tess said a pearl was the birthstone for June, and so I asked her to help me find one a few weeks ago. She found some guy and I cut a deal for it. But that’s all I’m tellin’ you.”

Joel took the necklace from you and beckoned for you to turn around for him. Moving your hair aside, he reached around you and clasped it at the back of your neck. “I’d rather only you wear it when you’re here in the apartment. Once you go outside, it stays hidden in your pocket so no one sees it, alright?”

You turned back around to face him. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you did this for me, Joel.” You reached for his hands and held them tightly in your own as you shot him a sincere, grateful look. “Thank you.”

He leaned forward, lightly brushing his mouth against yours. “Baby?”

“Yes?” You murmured against his lips.

Joel squeezed your hands, hesitating for a moment before he said, “I know I’ve only ever said it to you once—that night. Outside of Bill and Frank’s place. But I need you to know that I love you. The truth is, I’ve been lovin’ you for a long time now. Never had it in me to admit it, not even to myself.” His eyes met yours in such a tender way that you felt a part of your broken heart begin to heal itself. It was just a small part, and you knew that unless you had your daughter back, it would never mend itself completely. Still, it was enough to give you a sense of hope. It was just enough to remind you that you would be able to find the strength in you to survive this pain. If you had any reason to keep going, it was right there it front of you. It was Joel. “I love you. I’m gonna do everythin’ that I can to help you through this. All you’ve gotta do is lean on me, alright?”

“I love you, Joel.” Though you’d said it to him once before, it still felt a bit foreign to say out loud.

It felt right, though. And it felt right hearing him say it to you. 

Reaching up, you lightly clasped the pearl in your hand. You leaned into Joel’s chest and felt him wrap his arms around you. 

“Y’know,” Joel said, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen over you, “Tess said Frank’s been wondering why we haven’t been over to see her yet. I know it might still be a bit too soon for you, but—” He let his sentence trail.

Though he didn’t say it out loud, you could hear it in his voice.

He wanted to see the baby.

“I’m not ready for that just yet,” You admitted. “I want to see her more than anything, but look at me. I’m a fucking mess.” You paused, clutching onto the pearl a little tighter. “Maybe we can try in a few weeks? What do you think?”

Joel kissed the top of your head. “Soon as you’re ready, say the word and we’ll go.”

[outoftheseine]

- JOEL MILLER FIC RECS PART 2 -

forever in love with this grumpy old man <3 | note: please be aware of the authors’ warnings before reading. fics include canon tw’s like: violence, death, grief. most of these fics are age-gap relationship and some have 18+ content so minors please DNI.

part 1 | main masterlist

SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS

love in the middle of a fireflight | part 2 | part 3 • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @babydin

your bear | part 2 • joel miller x daughter!reader

↳ by @rrickgrrimes8 (very angsty, hurt/comfort)

a helping hand • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @teacupcollector

a lover's pinch • prof!joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @hier--soir (smut, au, angst, secret relationship)

i will be home for christmas • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @punkshort (no outbreak, fluff, smut, angst but happy ending, hurt/comfort)

lavender • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @justagalwhowrites

seeing you, seeing me • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @amywritesthings (slow burn, smut)

fate, after all • joel miller x f!oc!reader

↳ by @honeyedmiller (fluff, smut, no-outbreak)

ambush | part 2 • joel miller x reader

↳ by @huntergarrity (angst, violence, hurt/comfort)

seams • joel miller x reader

↳ by @fuckyeahdindjarin (self-conscious!joel, shy!reader, fluff, slow burn, explicit)

soft!joel collection • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @cavillscurls (smut, fluff, angst, soft and domestic!joel)

ONE-SHOTS - BLURBS - HC’S

daisy, give me an answer • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @dilf-din (fluff)

take this moment • joel miller x reader

↳ by @mylostloversbookmarks (post-outbreak, fluff)

ground me • joel miller x reader

↳ by @huntergarrity (fluff, comfort)

clouded judgement/clear mind • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @bluebeary-jay (violence, angst, hurt/comfort)

keep your eyes on me • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @mgparker (angst, violence, protective!joel)

daydreams • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @morning-star-joy (grumpy x sunshine, fluff)

i hope you are happy • joel miller x reader

↳ by @blissfulbarbie (very angsty, no outbreak)

grays • joel miller x reader

↳ by @softlyspector (domestic fluff, insecure!joel)

sweet creature • dad!joel miller x reader

↳ by @rocketrhap3000 (so fluffy)

lacy • joel miller x reader

↳ by @toxic-seduction (angst but happy ending)

bloodshed, crimson clover • joel miller x fem!doctor!reader

↳ by @morning-star-joy (slow burn, angst, violence)

arms tonite • joel miller x reader

↳ by @motherjoel (angst, reader gets hurt, happy ending)

skater • joel miller x platonic!gn!reader

↳ by @rrickgrrimes8 (angst, hurt/comfort, father figure!joel, tw: drowning)

be my daddy • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @bastardmandennis (no outbreak, smut, fluff, slightly angsty)

how the cookie crumbles • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @egcdeath (no outbreak, fake dating, slow burn, slight angst, fluff, idiots in love)

day after tomorrow • joel miller x reader

↳ by @familyvideostevie (no outbreak, fluff)

it’s your turn for choosing • joel miller x reader

↳ by @familyvideostevie (modern au, fluff)

i’m a feminist obviously • joel miller x reader

↳ by @toxic-seduction (protective!joel, violence)

softness • post outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @joelsgreys (fluff, joel is a dad, tw: premature birth)

as long as i have you • jackson era!joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @beskarandblasters (very fluffy, slight angst)

sweetheart • post-outbreak!joel millet x fem!reader

↳ by @joels-shitty-puns (fluff, light angst)

are you mine? • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @eupheme (protective and soft!joel, fluff, light angst)

a forever thing • husband!joel miller x pregnant!wife!reader

↳ by @honeyedmiller (fluff)

the revenant wife • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @pettyprocrastination

butterfly • joel miller x black!latina!reader

↳ by @stargirlfics (angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, slow burn)

unlikely friends • joel miller x reader

↳ by @sweetercalypso (fluff)

mischief nights • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @jupiter-soups (fluff, slight angst)

all my casualties of love • joel miller x reader/oc

↳ by @agentmarcuspike (smut, grief)

a matter of timing • joel miller x baker!fem!reader

↳ by @lavenderursa (angst, smut, comfort, neighbours to lovers)

[tateypots]

In Need Of A Top Up Masterlist

18+MDNI

Pairing: Joel Miller x wife reader

Joel can’t keep his hands off you on your wedding day. Or after it.

Warnings: fluff, smut, mommy issues.

Each chapter has its own warnings.

Part 1

Part 2

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

Maybe a clingy and needy joel x reader smut please 😊 he can't take his hands off her and he can't stop fucking her, thank you so much ❤

Answer me • Joel Miller

Request?: Yes

PAIRING: Joel Miller x f reader

GENRE: smut

WARNING: nsfw, unprotected sex, mention of drugs that's it tho, cursing oc

Masterlist coming someday

Enjoy

It’s been a couple of hours and Joels hands were still All over you. Your sweaty bodies were pressed against each other as you kissed for what felt like the millionth time.

You were like a drug to Joel, the antidote to his life. He craved your soul and your body more than anything in this world. Joel couldn’t get enough of you especially after he’s been gone from you for a bit of time.

Joel pulled away from your lips.

“fuck, I can’t get enough of you.” He muttered to you. One His large hand gripped your right thigh as he prepared to enter your aching heat for the 3rd time that night. You hissed softly at his fingers coming in contact with the beard burns on your inner from the action earlier that night, but it was replaced with a gasp as he felt his tip against your core.

“fuck.” You whined. Your back arched off the bed.

Joel pressed his lips behind your ear before licking a strip up your neck.. you moaned softly at the feeling but fuck, you needed more of him so badly.

“Joel please fuck me.”

A rough chuckle came from Joel. “don’t worry I will.”

He pushed into you. Your pussy stretched at his length entering you. No matter how many times you have had sex with Joel you never adjusted it.

You moaned out in pleasure.

Joel hand left your thigh and turned to your breast. He twisted your pebbled nipple between his fingers making you hiss.

A couple seconds later his length pushed into you. Due to you already being sensitive from the other two orgasms your walls fluttered around him.

Thrust after thrust Joel filled you. You tired your best not to be too loud but the feeling was too good.

“you like that huh? Like when I fill your pretty pussy?” Joel whispered in your ear. You tried to answer but it was all too much for you.

“No! Answer me.” Joel demanded. “tell me if you like it.”

Just as you were about to choke out a yes, Joel somehow thrust into you faster than before.

“Fuck Joel.” Tears were spilling from your eyes. You were starting to feel Joel in your tummy. It wouldn’t be long before you were coming to your orgasm.

“still having answered me.” Joel hand Left your breast, his hand snaked down in between your legs to your clit. He drew circles on them.

You hissed. The knot was starting to grow in your lower stomach at everything that was happening.

“im not letting you come till you answer me. “you like when I fill you up, make you cum around my cock hm?”

“Fuck.” You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to find the words.

“y-yes! Yes I love it Joel.”

You came soon after those words spilled from your lips. Joel didn’t stop, instead he keep thrusting until he empty out in to you with a grunt.

Both your panting filled the room. Joel pulled out of you. You groaned at the emptiness but settled when you felt Joel’s soft kisses on your shoulders.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his body. You both stayed silent for a few minutes just soaking up the moment between you two.

After a while you decided you were going to get up. You pulled Joel’s arms away from you and got up.

“where you going.” Joel asked. “im going to the bathroom. Gotta use it.” You laughed as Joel gave you a disgusted look.

“ok hurry up.” He sighed pulling the thin sheets over his body “I need to cuddle you so I can sleep.”

“Ok” you snickered and walked out of the room to the bathroom to do your business so you can return quickly to your needy man.

[mads-weasley]

Everything

Joel Miller x Wife!Reader

Masterlist

A/N: I absolutely LOVE the Last of Us and had to write something for Joel! I do not own any of the rights to these characters except (y/n). Enjoy!

Summary: After a rough day, (y/n) shares a soft moment with her husband.

Warnings: mentions of road rage attack? total fluff central

September 25th, 2003: 24 Hours Before Outbreak

The bright Texan sun was shining down on (Y/n) Miller as she was on her way to the grocery store with Sarah in the passenger seat. With the windows down, they blasted their favorite new hit song, Red Dirt Road by Brooks & Dunn.

"Oh, I've come to know, there's life at both ends," the (y/h/c) woman sang, pretending to hold a mic to her lips.

Sarah stuck her hand out the window, her curls flying in the wind as she finished the lyric. "Of that red dirt road."

The pair were pulled from their jam session when the car in front of them slammed on brakes, causing (y/n) to do so as well, shooting an arm out in front of Sarah.

"You okay?" She asked breathlessly, holding back a curse at the driver. "And that's why you're not gonna tailgate people when you start driving, right?"

The teen rolled her eyes with a smile and put her hand over her heart. "Scout's honor."

Playfully scoffing, (y/n) looked around the car, only to see nothing in the way. Beeping the horn quickly, she groaned. "Seriously. What's the hold up here?"

Her question was answered when the driver quickly got out of the car and angrily stalked toward the pair. (Y/n) checked around her, looking for a way to get away quickly.

"Sarah," she whispered. "Roll up your window, now."

When the man was halfway to their car when he stopped and turned around. Her heart began to beat again.

She looked at Sarah with a shaky smile. "Okay, maybe he's over it."

The young girl's eyes widened as she frantically pointed in front of them. "(Y/n)!"

Snapping her eyes forward, she cursed at the sight of the man with a baseball bat.

"Hold on," (y/n) yelled, jerking into oncoming traffic to get away. Once they passed the man, she got back in their lane, hearts pounding. Had just a simple beep set the man off?

"What just happened?" Sarah asked, still gripping the handle above her car door.

Shaking away her fear, (y/n) reached over and took her hand gently

"I don't know, but we're okay. How about we just go home. I all of a sudden don't feel like going to the store."

A silent nod was all the response she needed to head back home. After the girls' scary ordeal, she just wanted to be in the safe presence of her husband.

At the familiar rumble of a truck engine, (y/n)'s heart jumped. She and Sarah were on the couch watching 10 Things I Hate About You when Joel opened the door.

"Girls?" He called, taking off his filthy work boots.

Sarah perked up, and yelled back, "In the living room!"

A few seconds later, he walked into the room with a tired smile, plopping down in the small space between them.

"And how are my girls doing today?" he asked, pulling them closer to him.

Sarah's eyes widened. "(Y/n) and I were on th-"

Not wanting to worry Joel, (y/n) shook her head quickly from behind him. The girl's brows furrowed slightly but caught on.

"-the way home and guess what song came on?" She asked.

"Hmm," he hummed, scrunching his face overdramatically. "Was it Red Dirt Road?"

"How did you know that!?" (Y/n) laughed, slapping his arm playfully.

"I don't know. Probably because it was the one you were humming when I first got over here, honey."

The trio broke into a fit of giggles that ended when Joel got up.

"Don't move. I'll be back in a minute."

As soon as Joel was out of the room, Sarah turned to (y/n). "Why can't we tell dad about earlier?"

"You know how worked up he gets, Sar," she sighed. "I just don't want to worry him."

"Okay. I won't tell him, but I think you should."

"I'll tell him la-"

She was cut off by Joel's voice calling from the hallway. "Who's ready for some supper?"

After they ate supper, Sarah went off to finish homework while (y/n) cleaned up. As she was reaching for dishes to put the leftovers in, a pair of hands snaked around her waist, pulling her back into a warm embrace.

"I missed you today," Joel murmured, his face buried in her neck.

"I missed you too, babe..."

A few seconds passed and she knew she needed to tell him what happened. Turning around in his arms, (y/n) placed her hands on his chest.

"So, something happened today. I don't want you to stress out or worry, bu-"

"Well, now I'm definitely gonna," he interrupted.

"Sar' and I were on the way to the grocery store when the guy in front of us stopped out of nowhere. I couldn't go around him because there was traffic, so I hit the horn. And then he got out of the car."

(Y/n) could feel his body tense up, and she was reminded why she wanted to spare him the details of the encounter.

"We thought he was going to get back into his car, but he pulled out a baseball bat, Joel. I didn't even think, I just got us out of there as soon as I could. Sarah was my number one priority and," she faltered, her throat closing up. "-and I was so scared."

He pulled her into his chest fully, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, (y/n/n). You should have called me."

Joel was shaking with anger, but contained it, knowing it would only make his wife more upset. "I know. I just didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me? Sweetheart, I am your husband, and you can tell me anything, no matter what."

(Y/n) sighed, pulling back with tears in her eyes. "I love you so much."

A single tear trickled down her face, and Joel wiped it away with his thumb as he cupped her cheek softly. "I love you, too. You and Sarah are everything to me."

Feeling his rough hands caress her face so gently, she placed hers over them. "Sarah's getting too big. I can't believe it's been almost two years since we tied the knot."

"Don't remind me," he whispered, rolling his eyes. "The sass gets worse every day."

His expression suddenly became serious. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. Heck, I've never been this happy. You complete our family, (y/n)."

"I've never been this happy either."

She leaned in and rested her forehead against his before connecting their lips. Joel's hands on her waist pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. At the sound of feet padding down the hallway, he pulled away with a groan.

"Don't stop on account of me," Sarah chimed with a smirk, grabbing a yogurt from the fridge." She started to turn back towards her room but stopped and pulled the couple into a tight hug.

"I am happier, dad. I love you both."

The man laughed, patting his daughter's hair affectionately. "We love you, too. Now, how long have you been listening, baby girl?"

Sarah held up her pointer finger, smiling sheepishly. "I'm gonna have to plead the fifth."

Pulling away, she glanced at the clock on the stove as she walked away. "You enjoy your last few hours as a 35-year-old, you old geezer."

Joel glanced at his wife with an amused smile. "Can you believe her?"

"I mean you are pretty old, Mr. Miller," (y/n) teased, shrugging her shoulders.

Before she could move, he threw her over his shoulder, running toward their room.

"Old, huh?"

The woman squealed, smacking playfully against his back. "Joel! Put me down!"

"No can do, Mrs. Miller."

[meetmypointlessaddiction]

Rescuing Ellie: Part One

This is the first chapter of a new series I'm hoping to start in which Ellie is fostered and then eventually adopted by the Miller family. I can't promise when updates will be but I'm hoping it won't be too long until the next one is posted, enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of trauma, Joel and Sarah being too cute, Ellie possibly being neurodivergent is touched on slightly, childhood trauma, I think that's everything, Sarah calls reader 'mom'

Words: 1,9k

Prompt: You, Joel and Sarah and made aware of Ellie’s existence as your little family prepares to add one more

Joel was pacing around the living room, Sarah sitting on the couch with a book in hand sharing a smirk with you. “Dad! Sit down. If they walk in and see you pacing like a mad man they’re gonna turn the opposite way. Relax.” Sarah told him sternly and he nodded, making you laugh. Sarah had always been able to make him do as he was told. 

“Is the bathroom clean? Did we vacuum the kitchen?” 

“Joel, baby. I love you but please shut the hell up. Everything is clean, everything is tidy but the house still looks homely and welcoming, ok? The social worker would be stupid to think that our home wasn’t good enough to bring another child into.” You said to him and he nodded, taking a seat next to Sarah and letting his arm extend around the back of the couch as she leant on his shoulder. 

“What book are you reading kiddo?” He asked and she smiled. 

“To Kill a Mockingbird. Miss Garcia recommended it so mom took me to get it from the library on Friday.” She explained and Joel shot you a small smile.

Sarah wasn’t your biological child but that never stopped the three of you from acting like a true family. You had met Joel in a bar when Sarah was just 4 and, after a few dates, you finally got to meet his little girl and the pair of you were on your honeymoon a year later. Giving birth had never been something you had wanted to do, stories from friends and family completely putting you off the idea, but Sarah was desperate for a sibling and you knew, deep down, that Joel would love to have another kid in the house.

A knock on the door had Joel shooting to his feet, almost falling into the table, as he walked to the door to let the woman. “Mr and Mrs Miller, it’s good to see you again. And I take it this is the Sarah I got to know so much about?” She asked with a cheeky smile and Sarah laughed. 

“Yeah my dad can get carried away with his bragging.” She said and Joel blushed, you squeezing his hand before he stepped aside to let the woman in. 

“Well, I’m sure you're aware of why I’m here. I’m Courtney, the social worker who’s been asked to come and have a look around, make sure everything is up to scratch and walk you through the next few steps.” She clarified and the three of you nodded, Joel gesturing for her to take a seat and then taking his seat back next to Sarah who was laying her book on the coffee table. 

“To Kill a Mockingbird? You like reading?” Courtney asked Sarah who nodded quickly. 

“I was always read bedtime stories from dad or my uncle Tommy when he lived with us and then mom would help me read the harder books because those too are hopeless when it comes to words with more than three syllables.” She teased and Courtney laughed while Joel looked at Sarah with faux offence while you snorted into your hand. 

“Well I can already tell that the three of you have a lovely dynamic going on. We’ve already discussed that it is your intention to foster a child and then adopt once the child is settled, correct?” She asked and Joel nodded. 

“We don’t think it’s fair for a kid to get used to living with us and then we just change our routine once another kid comes along, you know?” You said and she nodded. 

“Well, would you be able to show me around?” She asked and you nodded, Sarah opting to stay seated while you and Joel led her around your home. 

“That room at the back is mine and Joel’s, Sarah’s is on the left and then the room on the right is obviously the spare room. We’ve left it pretty plain so that we can decorate it to their tastes but the room design is their choice.” You explained and she nodded. 

“And you said you have two bathrooms?” She asked and Joel nodded. 

“There’s the ensuite in the master bedroom and then the bathroom on your left is the bathroom that Sarah uses.” Joel told her and she nodded with a bright smile. 

“It seems you’re all quite prepared for a new arrival. I believe there is someone in our system who would benefit greatly from being included in your family. If you’d like, I can set up a meeting for the pair of you to meet her and then another a few days later where you can bring Sarah along so the girls can get to know each other a little bit?” Courtney suggested and you and Joel both nodded quickly. 

“That’d be great.” 

“If we go and take a seat, I can go over some of her details and we’ll see what you think.” 

Sitting back on the couch, Courtney pulled out a folder and Sarah peeked over the book. “Someone that eager to come live with us?” She asked and Joel rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly. 

“Not when they find out you’re here.” He teased and she scoffed. 

“Your old man grunts when you get up off the couch would be enough to scare anyone away. Surprised mom didn’t escape when she could.” She threw back at him and you looked to both of them. 

“That’s enough with the pair of you, let’s listen to what Courtney can tell us about the girl ok?” You said and they both nodded, Joel smiling gently at you. 

“So, her name’s Ellie, she’s 10 and she’s pretty mature for her age. Became independent at a young age and is generally intelligent if that’s something that interests you. She does have slight trauma which can cause occasional nightmares and she can be generally nervous around new people but is fiercely protective once she gets to know someone.” Courtney said and Joel sat up straighter. 

“Sarah, you wanna go to your room for a little honey? We’ll call you back in once we go over some of the finer details?” He asked her and she nodded, collecting her book from the table and heading to her room. You looked at him confused and he cleared his throat. 

“When you say trauma, are we allowed to know what that trauma is?” He asked and you looked at him shocked. Was this going to be a dealbreaker for him? “Woah no not because of anything bad. I just meant would there be anything that we could do to make the transition a little easier. Like is it better to have her meet us one at a time or maybe Sarah first or-.” You breathed a sigh of relief as he explained himself. “Kids have trauma, it doesn’t put me off fostering her just because she’s had a shitty past. I just don’t want her to feel like she has to feel a certain way once she joins us, you know?” He said more to you than to Courtney and you nodded. 

“It’s probably better that she meets the pir of you first. Ellie’s mother died during childbirth and no one knew who her father was which meant that she was placed straight into foster care. She’s had some really bad experiences with foster homes which is why we are extremely careful of who we place her with. She struggles with men quite a lot which is why we always ensure that there are more women than men in whichever home she goes to. The best thing you can do for her is to just be yourselves. She has an extremely good judge of character so she’ll see straight through whatever facade you try to put up.” Courtney encouraged and you and Joel nodded, you watching as your husband took in all the information he could. 

“The only other guy that’s ever really here is my brother but most of the time his wife and son are with him. Would that be ok once she gets settled?” He asked and Courtney nodded. 

“As much normalcy as possible will help her settle. She doesn’t like to be a burden so feeling like your routine is being changed for her will make her feel awkward. We’ve had many fosters change their mind with Ellie due to some of her personality traits.” Courtney revealed and you frowned. 

“Personality traits? What do you mean?” You asked and she frowned slightly. 

“Many of the fosters believe that Ellie may be neurodivergent which could lead to some of her other traits such as her short temper and her objections to certain food textures or smells. She also struggles to divert from certain routines and some families found that hard to adjust to and it was making Ellie restless. It should also be noted that Ellie isn’t the ‘typical girl’ that a lot of families are searching for. She has very strong tastes in the clothes she wears and how she is viewed and will refuse to cooperate if it goes against what she wants.”

“We don’t expect her to stick to any kind of mould. As long as she’s her own person we don’t care.” Joel said and you nodded. “Would she be interested in any kind of sports? Sarah plays soccer so maybe signing her up for that would be a good idea?” He asked and Courtney shook her head with a smile. 

“Ellie is quite small for her age so she gets pushed around a lot whenever it comes down to sports or physical activity. Her favourite hobbies are music and drawing but I’m sure she’ll tell you all about that once you get to meet her. Once you find a topic she enjoys, the girl can talk for hours.” She said and Joel’s eyes lit up, your husband’s love for music shining through and Courtney seemed to notice. 

“Well, I can see you’re clearly excited to meet her so I’ll let you guys talk it over and once I’ve spoken to Ellie I’ll email with a date for you to come down to the home and meet her if that’s everything you had to ask.” You both shook your heads and Joel called for Sarah who bid goodbye to Courtney and then the three of you flopped onto the couch, Joel’s head dropping into Sarah’s lap as she shot him a stink eye for interrupting her reading. 

“Well that seemed to be a success. I can’t wait to meet her.” Joel said and you chuckled, Sarah just resting her book on his face and continuing to read.

“I say we order pizza to celebrate.” You suggested and Sarah cheered while Joel grumbled. 

“I hope it’s your money that’s paying for it.” He said and you and Sarah both burst into laughter. 

“Of course not. Don’t you wanna provide for your girls my manly husband. Inn’t that what all you Texas men are built for?” You teased and he scoffed, laughing as you kissed his cheek. 

“Make sure to order a ham and pineapple for the monster bookworm.” He told you and you nodded. 

“If anybody’s order was going to be forgotten it’d be yours dad. Just accept that mom loves me more.” Sarah said, prodding his cheek and you smiled. 

“What is it you want Joel?” You asked sweetly and grunted. 

“All I ever want is cheese and it’s always forgotten.” 

“Shut up you giant man baby.” You pushed his face into the couch cushion and he pouted. 

“Thought I was your manly husband?” He asked with a slight smirk showing on his face until Sarah hit him with her book.

“Stop flirting with my mom. You’re ruining my appetite.”

[bonitanightmxres]

Birthday Cake(s) || JOEL MILLER

PAIRING: Joel Miller x wife!reader (non-outbreak au)

SYNOPSIS: It’s joel’s birthday, and you have a few surprises in store for him.

WARNINGS: fluff, slight suggestiveness (aka joel wanting to get laid), mentions of pregnancy

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

A/N: Can be read as a “continuation” of “Pinky Promise”, or read on its own!

“I have to say, Tommy, you did a pretty good job with the decorating.” You take a step back, taking in all the banners and balloons and streamers that are hung around the house. It hadn’t been easy, doing all the planning for Joel’s birthday behind his back, but somehow you and Tommy managed to get it all done. 

“I know right,” Tommy laughs as he reaches into the fridge for a drink. A large white box takes up most of the room inside, undoubtedly the cake; but he’s confused when he sees a smaller one sitting next to it. “Hey, what’s in this small box?” Tommy reaches for it, letting curiosity get the best of him.

“DON’T TOUCH IT!” The sudden boom of your voice makes him jump, and Tommy lowers his hand. “I-it’s just a cake. A personal one.”

Tommy crosses his arms, raising a brow, trying to decide if he believes you. “You mean to tell me you got my brother two cakes, and he gets to have one all to himself? I love him, but he ain’t that special.”

“One day a woman will buy you two cakes for your birthday too, Tommy. You just need to learn how to keep her first,” You shoo him away from the fridge, guarding it with such protection, as if it were the last thing you’d ever do. 

“Ouch,” he laughs. “Anyways, what’d you get Joel? Is there a way I can sign it and say it's from me too?”

The mental picture of the small little box wrapped neatly in your bedroom takes over your mind. As small as the gift was, you were sure it’d have an even bigger impact on Joel once he opened it. “Sorry, Tommy, not this year. It’s not exactly something you can say we both got him.”

“What the hell is it then?”

“You’ll see.” Excitement pumped through your veins, making you giddy and nervous at the same time. 

It was still early in the afternoon, and there were many hours to go before Joel would be on his way home, which made it that much harder to sit around with his gift practically teasing you, begging to be opened. And when Joel did finally pull into the driveway that evening, your excitement and nerves only increased. 

You and Tommy shut off every light source in the house, nearly tripping and stubbing your toes multiple times as you did so. Hiding behind the dining table, you could hear the jangle of Joel’s keys as he unlocked the door, making you squeal from the anticipation. 

“Seems like you’re more excited for his birthday this year than usual,” Tommy whispers, “What’re you planning?” 

You don’t get to answer before Joel is stepping inside the house, turning on the light as he walks in.

“SURPRISE!” You leap up, throwing your hands in the air.

Joel is mesmerized by the shiny decorations, but he’s even more mesmerized by you. Seeing your bright smile and the happiness in your eyes makes him grin widely. He hurries over to you, wrapping one of his big arms around your waist, and pulling you in for a soft and sweet kiss. Your lips are soft against his, and he can taste the cherry lip balm. 

“Happy birthday, love.” You say after pulling your lips away from Joel’s, much to his dismay. 

His hands wander up and down your sides, playing with the hem of your dress. “My favorite color… Did you wear it just for me?” 

Giggling, you playfully smack his hands, and turn to the stove, “C’mon, let’s eat. I made your favorite.” 

“Not possible, my favorite meal’s standing in front of me.” He smirks, eyeing you up and down.

“Joel!” Your cheeks flush red, turning your attention to where Tommy had been the whole time.

Once Joel realized that it wasn’t just you and him home, his face turned red too. “Sorry, brother. I’ll keep it PG for you.” 

Tommy chuckled, and was finally able to wish Joel a happy birthday, now that his attention hadn’t been completely on you. 

You could barely eat anything at dinner, too overwhelmed by eagerness for Joel to open his gift. The brothers had barely finished their meal before you’re clearing the table, tossing dishes in the sink, and lighting the candles on the large cake. Together with Tommy, you sing him “happy birthday”, as you carefully bring the cake over and set it down in front of him. The dancing flames light up Joel’s face softly and beautifully, and the genuine happiness on his face makes you fall in love with him a little bit more. 

“Jesus, that’s a lot of candles.” Joel says with a light chuckle. He pulls you to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around you tightly as he watches the wax drip onto the frosting. “Pretty soon they all won’t fit.” 

Tommy snorts as he stands across from you two, “Yeah, that’s why she got two cakes.” 

You shoot him a death glare with a look that says shut up, and Tommy immediately regrets having opened his mouth. 

“Two?” Joel questions. “What for?”

“Nevermind that, just focus on this one.” You scoot it a little closer to him, encouraging him to blow out the candles, and he does. 

Joel cuts the cake, serving slices for the three of you while you still sit with him. At some point, you feed him cake playfully, and wipe frosting on his nose. Joel kisses your cheek, transferring frosting onto your face, and whispers, “So… what do ya say we send Tommy home early and you can give me my birthday present?” 

The birthday present. 

“Shit!” You practically jump off from Joel’s lap, and retrieve the mini cake and gift. As excited and restless as you had been during the day, the thought of the present had completely slipped your mind as you ate dinner and sang to Joel. 

With the smaller cake in front of him, Joel was… confused, to say the least. “‘Happy birthday, Daddy.’” He read the letters of icing out loud, blushing a bit. As soon as the words left his mouth, your heart pounded even harder in your chest, waiting for his reaction.

Tommy seemed to have gotten the hint first, because he let out a gasp louder than you’ve ever heard, “Wait a minute, are you–”

You send him another death glare, and by now, you’ve given him enough of those that he knows to shut up. 

“Darlin’, you sure we shouldn’t send Tommy home early?” Joel asks, chuckling as he rubs the back of his neck. 

With a confused look on your face, you wonder why you’d need to send Tommy home over a cake. Happy birthday, Daddy. That’s all it said… Wait a minute… 

Daddy. 

Oh. 

A pink tint brushed over your cheeks when you realized. “Joel, get your mind together and just open the gift already.”

You know he tears the gift open painstakingly slow on purpose to mess with you, but it doesn’t stop the urge to rip the gift away from his hands and open it for him, shoving the thing in his face; but, as you never lack common sense, you wait patiently… even though you’re visibly annoyed and Joel can tell–which only makes him open it slower. 

“Joel, if you keep it up, Tommy’s spending the night and you won’t get what you want, and you know what I mean.” You threaten.

It turns out, you should’ve just threatened him a long time ago, because you’d never seen gift wrap fly off a box faster than you did at that moment.  

Joel freezes in place as his eyes are glued to the thing in the box, and suddenly he’s forgotten English. His expression intrigues Tommy, who rushes over to his brother, looking over his shoulder. You’re amused as Tommy’s eyes go wide too, jaw practically dropping to the floor. “I knew it! You are! I’m gonna be a– You’re–”

“Pregnant?” Joel picks up the positive test, holding it in his hand to make sure it’s real. He looks over at you with a softness in his eyes and adoration, and a smile creeps onto his lips. “For real?”

Nodding your head eagerly, your hand travels over your stomach. “I took like a dozen tests, you’re holding number thirteen.” 

“I’m gonna be an uncle, oh my god,” Tommy whoops and hollers in the kitchen, grabbing his cell phone and walking to the porch with a grin on his face. “Just wait ‘til I tell the guys at work that I’m gonna be an uncle.” 

Dropping the test back into its box, he rushes over to you. Joel grabs your face with his hands, kissing you playfully all over. “I can’t believe this. You’re amazing.” He drops to his knees, kissing your stomach through your dress. “Hi, babygirl, thank you for making this the best birthday ever. Daddy loves you.”

You giggle as he continues kissing your stomach, tickling you with every kiss he lays. “How do you know the baby’s gonna be a girl?” 

Joel gets up, caressing your face with a smile, “I just know.”

---

a/n: yet another late night fic... back at it again with domestic joel bc he owns my heart😭

[honeyedmiller]

A Forever Thing | Joel Miller

i do not own the gif above. all rightful credit goes to the maker of the gif.

pairing: husband!joel miller x pregnant!wife!reader

warnings: no outbreak, fluff, brief mention of infertility, pregnancy.

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: you and joel have been trying for a baby since the night you two married, but haven't had any luck... until you do.

-

You stare down at the three tests on the bathroom counter. The six lines across all three tests stare back at you, and you feel so woozy.

Three years. Three years since you got married to the absolute love of your life. Three years you've been trying for a baby, but no luck. Three years of wondering if there was something wrong with your body, that you couldn't bare a child, that you were infertile.

Three years of sobbing to your husband, who shed tears as well, because you both thought you'd never get the chance of having a baby of your own. You had your stepdaughter Sarah, whom you unconditionally loved (who'd practically been calling you 'mom' since she was around ten years old), but you wanted to experience motherhood from your own body. You wanted to see your belly grow, shower your baby with gifts, have your husband kiss and talk to your protruding stomach, saying he couldn't wait for their arrival on Earth.

Tears sprung to your eyes as a sob left your mouth, covering it quickly. This had to be a dream.

Was it?

No. This was real. This was so real, and you couldn't wait to tell Joel.

A sharp knock on the bathroom door occurred only seconds later, with Sarah calling for you on the other side.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Sarah's voice is soft, but laced with concern.

"You can open the door, honey." You call back to her, and she almost immediately does. Her brows are furrowed as her eyes flicker to your tear-stained face, down to the tests on the counter.

"Is that-?" She pauses as she stands next to you, eyes scanning the devices on the counter. "Oh my god, it is! No way!" She exclaims in pure excitement as her arms gently wrap around your torso.

"You're gonna be a big sister, baby." You kiss her head as more tears fall down your cheeks, and she starts to cry with you. She knows you and her father have been trying for a baby, and was saddened for you every time a test turned out negative. She wanted a little sibling so bad.

"How are we gonna tell Dad?" Her glossy eyes move up to yours as she stares at you in wonder, her arms never leaving your middle.

"I say we cook a fancy dinner for him and put one test in a box as a present." You smile as you rest your hand on her cheek, thumb grazing back and forth.

"Yeah! And maybe I can get a 'big sister' shirt?" She asks, knowing you two would have to go to the store anyhow to get ingredients to make Joel's favorite— T-bone steak with country potatoes and corn on the cob.

You laugh at her advances, and nod your head. "Sure thing, baby."

-

You two went to the store and came back in about an hour's time, and you started to prep dinner. It was a Saturday, so Joel wouldn't be at the construction site too late. He usually got home around five; it was currently two thirty.

Sarah helped you as she chopped up and seasoned the potatoes, putting them in a pan to simmer for awhile. You worked on the steak and the corn, and while the food was cooking, Sarah made a small cake that she frosted herself.

It was four forty-five by the time dinner was almost done, and Sarah helped you set out place mats on the table for four, just in case Tommy decided to join you guys for dinner.

Joel walked into the house not even ten minutes later, looking tired but happy to be home to his girls.

"Somethin' smells delicious in here." He calls out, entering the kitchen to find you and Sarah.

"Hey Dad." Sarah smiles, wondering if he'll notice her 'big sister' shirt she had on, which you two luckily found at the store.

"Hey pumpkin." He pulls her in for a hug before kissing the top of her head. His eyes graze over to you, a smile full of nothing but pure love drawn onto his lips.

"Hi darlin'," He moved to you as he hugged you and gave you a sweet kiss. "What's all this?" He gestures toward the food that was done, sitting hot on the stove.

"Just a little treat for my hardworking man." You smile as his eyes turn soft, bringing you in for a kiss.

"Mind if I shower before we enjoy this delicious meal? I'll be quick. I stink." Joel chuckles, and you notice a sheen of sweat covering his neck and forehead.

"Of course. It'll be ready for you when you come back." You kiss his cheek and he taps your butt softly before disappearing into your shared bedroom upstairs. Sarah gives you a knowing look and you smile giddily, serving the plates and opening a cold beer from the fridge for Joel.

-

He was downstairs twenty minutes later, his hair damp and slicked back. He smelt like musky amber wood and pine, and he smelled damn good.

"No beer for you, baby?" Joel notices your glass full of sweet tea instead of the usual beer you'd share with him with a dinner like this.

"Not today, honey. Just felt like havin' some sweet tea." You grin as you clink your glass to his beer bottle, both of you taking a swig of your drinks.

"So, what did my girls do today?" He looks between you and Sarah, a soft smile playing at his lips.

"Nothin' much, just went to the store for stuff for dinner and made dinner." Sarah shrugs, giving you a small smile of secrecy, which luckily, Joel doesn't notice as his eyes move down to his food.

"Which is delicious, by the way. Thank you." He takes a bite of his tender steak, groaning at the flavor.

"Seriously, baby, there's no occasion for this? I know it's my favorite meal and all, but-"

The front door opens and Tommy emerges, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Hey y'all, sorry 'm late." He's breathless as he reaches the kitchen, fixing himself a plate. You chuckle at his late arrival, really expecting nothing less from the younger Miller brother.

"What'd I miss?" He asks as he takes his seat between Joel and Sarah, sitting across from you.

"Nothing, we were just talking about our days." You smile softly at him, eyes moving to Joel who was too engaged in the delicious meal, only half paying attention to the current conversation.

"Ah, seriously. It's been a long one." Tommy cracks his neck before delving into the meal, a small praise coming from him at yours and Sarah's cooking.

You take another sip of your sweet tea as the room falls silent, you and Sarah exchanging knowing glances.

"Why are you two lookin—holy shit." Tommy exclaims, first noticing you and Sarah, then Sarah's shirt, which Joel still hasn't looked at.

"What?" Joel asks, his head snapping up as he looks between the three of you.

"Are you serious?" Tommy looks at you, the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face.

Joel's brows furrow in worry, "What's goin' on?" He wipes his mouth as he swallows the last bites of his meal, and you look at him with teary eyes.

"Sarah, honey, can you get the present from the counter, please?" You ask her, and Joel's face displays pure confusion. She nods at you and happily leaps from her seat, getting the small rectangular box from the kitchen island and she brought it to you. She sat back down, looking between you and Joel.

"What's this?" Joel asks as you hand him the present, which he gingerly takes.

"Open it." You whisper, and his gaze remains on yours before faltering and moving down to the box. He lifts the lid of the box and freezes when he sees the contents inside. He couldn't believe it.

He looks up at you, glossy eyes matching your own.

"Y'serious?" His voice cracks, and you nod, a sob leaving your lips once more. You both stand at the same time, and he wraps you in his warm embrace as tears stream down his tan face.

"Darlin', oh," He coos, rocking you back and forth as you sob.

"We're gonna have a baby, Joel." Your cries fill the room as he hugs you tightly, but not too tight. He was already cautionary and it made your heart swoon. He pulls apart from you and gives you a long kiss, cupping one cheek with his broad palm as the other is splayed on your back, pulling you flush against him.

"Congrats you guys." Tommy gets up and hugs both of you, kissing you on the cheek. Sarah joins in on the hug, moving shortly after to pull out the celebratory cake.

"I gotta take a picture of this moment." Tommy beams, grabbing the digital camera that resided on the side table next to the couch. He snaps a photo of you three, with you holding the pregnancy test in your hand as your glossy eyes and huge smiles shine bright in the photo you'd later hang on a wall in your house.

-

Joel couldn't stop kissing you and touching you more than usual that night, ecstatic to finally be having another baby, and one with the love of his life. He couldn't believe this was his reality.

He kept kissing your stomach, whispering sweet things to the little one growing inside. He couldn't wait to meet them. That night, Joel fell asleep on your stomach with his arms wrapped securely around you, pure bliss coursing through both of you as this is what you two've dreamed of for so long.

It's all he ever wanted; his girls, a growing family, and a house to call home, which you and Sarah were to him.

And he knew, deep down in his heart, it was a forever thing.

[pedrospatch]

surprise

Preoutbreak! Joel Miller x Reader

summary: You're four months pregnant when you have an accidental fall; while you and Sarah wait for Joel at the hospital, an ultrasound technician accidentally reveals the sex of your baby.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) PREGNANCY, reader has an accidental fall, minor anxiety, Sarah calls reader her mom, talk of gender and gender reveal. fluff.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i am a snail when it comes to requests, but i got around to this request here. it is the same reader featured in family, but it can technically be read as a stand alone. i know there isn't a ton of Joel, but I just adore Sarah and had a blast writing her!

“Where is he?” Sarah paced anxiously in front of your hospital bed. 

A thin, light blue curtain shielded the two of you from the rest of the busy, bustling emergency department that you’d been brought to in Austin. 

“I called him half an hour ago, what’s taking him so long?” she said, a frown turning down the corners of her mouth. “Should I just call him again?” she suggested, the anxiousness evident in her tone. “There’s a payphone down the hallway, I should call him and see where he is.”

“I’m sure your dad on his way,” You assured her, delicately rubbing at your swollen midsection with your hand. You were about four months into your pregnancy, and although your growing baby bump was still on the smaller side, it was very much there, prominent underneath a scratchy, itchy white hospital gown a nurse had helped you into. You watched the teenager as she continued to pace and pace; you didn’t blame her for being worried, but it was causing your own anxieties to begin creeping in, and the last thing you wanted was for Sarah to see that you were scared too. “Sarah, honey, can you please just sit down and relax? I’m sure the baby is perfectly fine.”

She stopped, turning to you. “You fell down the stairs,” she reminded you, as if you could have somehow forgotten that. “What if the baby is hurt? Dad’s not here, the doctors are taking fucking forever—”

“Language,” You glared at her lightly. 

“Sorry,” Sarah mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “This is all just so scary. I don’t even know how you’re staying so calm right now. How are you not afraid?”

You beckoned her over and patted the space on your bed beside you.

Sarah hesitated, but then carefully sat down beside you.

You slid an arm around her shoulders, being careful not to yank at the intravenous line taped to the back of your hand. “Well if you want the truth, I am afraid,” You admitted, softly. “But I also know that freaking out isn’t going to help. It could actually make things worse and put a lot more stress on the baby.” Feeling her lean into you, you squeezed her shoulders gently. “Besides, if I show you that I’m scared, you’ll be even more scared than you already are and I don’t want that.”

“I just wish my dad was here,” she murmured, resting her head lightly on your shoulder; she placed a hand on your stomach, right over your own.

Although you didn’t say it, you silently wished the same.

Joel had been away, working at a construction site a couple of towns over when it happened, and when Sarah called him in a panic, he had promised that he would get to the hospital as quickly as possible. He sounded distraught over the phone, and as much as you needed him to be there with you, you didn’t want him rushing and risking getting into a car wreck. Still, every single minute that ticked by without Joel there felt like a fucking eternity.

“Miss Miller?” A woman’s voice called politely from the other side of the curtain.

Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Miller?”

Sarah lifted her head from your shoulder, looking guilty. “I might have put that down as your last name when I was filling out the admission forms for you earlier. Is that okay?”

Before you could respond, the curtain around your bed was pulled off to the side, and a blonde haired woman appeared, wheeling what you guessed was a portable ultrasound machine behind her. “Miss Miller, I’m here to do your ultrasound.” She glanced at Sarah. “This must be your daughter?”

“Yeah,” Sarah replied quickly, nodding her head as she stood up from your bed.

You glanced up at her, your heart fluttering inside of your chest—did she really see you as her mother figure?

“Are we going to be able to see if the baby is okay?” Sarah wrung her hands together nervously as she questioned the technician. “And my mom? What about her? She told one of the nurses that her ankle was hurting her a little after the fall, are you going to check that too?”

My mom.

It sounded so natural, so right to hear her call you that.

“I’m just here for her sonogram, sweetheart. The first thing we want to do is to make sure the fall didn’t have an impact on the fetus. The baby, I mean.” The woman slipped on a pair of white latex gloves and peeled your blankets back, away from your lower body. “After, we will have one of the attending physicians run some tests and get an x-ray of your mom’s ankle to make sure it’s okay.”

Sarah reached for your hand, holding it in her own as the technician lifted your hospital gown and squirted a clear, cool gel onto your skin before running the doppler over the lower part of your abdomen; she squeezed your hand, her light green eyes fixed intently on the screen attached to the portable machine. “I can’t tell what any of that is.”

The woman smiled, pointing to the lower part of the screen with her free hand. “Well, the entire image is her uterus. And do you see that right there, that little thing? That’s the baby. There is her heartbeat, looking healthy and strong.”

You froze and Sarah’s mouth fell wide open.

“Her?” she gasped. “Did you just say her? It’s a girl?”

The technician’s smile faded. “You weren’t aware of the baby’s sex?”

“Does it look like we were?” Sarah nearly squeaked, her eyes wide.

The woman flushed a deep shade of red. “Oh no, I am so sorry—”

“It’s okay,” You managed to tell her. “Please, don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”

After cleaning the gel off of your stomach and tugging your hospital gown back down into place, the technician excused herself, uttering another quick apology about the mishap before leaving.

“It’s a girl,” You breathed out, a smile breaking out onto your face.

“I’m going to have a little sister!” Sarah squealed, beaming as she threw her arms around you. She pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. “I knew it, I totally knew it would be a girl! Uncle Tommy owes me twenty bucks.”

You raised an eyebrow at her. “You and Tommy made a bet?”

“We sure did! A bet that I won.”

Before you could say anything, the blue curtain around your bed was pulled aside once again and a frantic, panicked Joel appeared.

“Dad!” Sarah ran up to him, throwing her arms around him. “Finally!”

He gave her a quick squeeze and then rushed to your side. “Baby, I’m so fuckin’ sorry, I tried to get here as fast as I could but traffic was so damn bad, it was a nightmare just tryin’ to get back into the city,” he explained breathlessly, taking your hand. He began to sputter out his questions, going a hundred miles an hour. “Are you alright? What did the doctor say? Has anyone even been in to see you yet?”

“Joel, breathe. I’m fine,” You promised him. “I might have twisted my ankle a bit, but they’re going to take a radiograph in a bit. Other than that, I’m okay.”

“And what about the baby?”

“I just had an ultrasound done and the baby is okay. We’re both fine,” You assured him, prompting him to exhale a sigh of utter relief.

Joel pulled your hand up towards his lips, kissing the back of it gently before he asked, “Baby, what the hell happened?”

“I was doing laundry. I was carrying the basket of clothes downstairs from our bedroom and my foot slipped,” You admitted sheepishly.

“I’d just gotten home from school and I saw it happen.” Sarah walked over to his side. “I called for an ambulance and then I called you right after.”

Joel placed his other arm around her, pulling her close. “You did the right thing, babygirl. Thank you for that.” He kissed her temple and turned back to you. “And you’re absolutely sure the baby is okay?”

You nodded. “She’s fine, Joel.”

“Good. Because I was so—wait, what?” he hissed, his his dark brown eyes going wide with shock. “Did you just say, she?”

“Surprise!” Sarah grinned, her arm tightening around his waist.

Joel glanced at her, then back at you once again, thoroughly confused. “Wait just a damn minute, I thought we all agreed that we didn’t want to know the gender until it was born! You two asked for the gender without me?”

You almost felt bad for laughing at the look of complete and utter betrayal that crossed his face. “Of course we didn’t. The technician accidentally told us,” You explained. You tossed him a small, joking smile. “I’m sorry, Joel. I know you were rooting for a boy.”

“Sorry dad, you’re outnumbered,” Sarah teased him. “Three to one.”

Joel kept his arm around her as he leaned down, kissing the top of your head. “I might be outnumbered, but that’s perfectly fine with me,” he said. “Me and my three girls—my perfect little family. It’s more than I could ever ask for.”

[xmissrogersx]

“Shit, i love this skirt” | Joel Miller

tags: Post-Outbreak. Fluff. +18. Period issues.

a note from pris: i write this during my period, and all i want to say is I NEED A JOEL IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

my writing is entirely my own. Any adaptation and/or copy is forbidden.

i hope you are enjoying my stories! U help me a lot if you give me a ♡! All the love.

priscila’ masterlist

-Do you have the same one but in another color?

“Count to 10, Paris" I said softly, otherwise I'm going to kill the stupid girl in front of me. One, two, three...

-It's a blanket they picked up on patrol, not a pair of Manolo Blahnik.

-What's that? -said the one next to her. You're kidding me, they must be in their 40's and have no idea what i just told them.

-Are you going to take it or not? -they looked at each other, causing me to take a breath and pick up my mental count and avoid exploding.

-Are you sure there isn't another color?

I could swear my eye twitched the moment I got up from my chair, which caused the others in the room to turn their gazes towards me.

-Hey…why don't we go outside, okay? -Maria approached me and pulled me out, preventing something worse from breaking out.

-Sorry, but i couldn't stand those two assholes anymore —I explained, putting my hand on my belly as I suddenly felt a cramp, making it obvious what was happening to me. I hated it when my period came. She put my hand on my lower back for support.

-Why didn't you tell me and stay home? I know it sucks when it happens, honey.

I nodded slightly, not ignoring the truth, although deep down I wanted to keep my job at Jackson.

-Does Joel know?

-No, no. I didn't want to worry him, he had the patrol with Tommy and if I told him he'd probably chain me to the bed and not let me out.

-As if you don't like it when he do that —she said, raising her eyebrow, provoking a laugh from both of them.

-Don't make me laugh, I feel like I'm going to fall over.

-Speaking of Rome —she nodded his head at the entrance.

Getting off his horse and cleaning his shotgun, he was wearing a T-shirt that clung to his body due to the heat of the incipient summer that was already approaching, along with pants that molded his strong legs. Even if they had shouted that they were attacking us this damn moment, I couldn't take my eyes off him.

-All mine...—Maria laughed softly when she saw my expression.

-You're so horny, girl —walking over to the Millers, but not before approaching Joel, who quickly raised his gaze to me. He walked away from them, and in big strides was already lifting me up in his arms.

-Joel...

-Why didn't you tell me, baby? —He locked his beautiful brown eyes in mine.

-I love you... very, very much —I smiled innocently.

-That's not going to work,pretty girl.

-I'm sorry, daddy —I whispered the latter in his ear and kissed his lobe, getting a growl from him and a little giggle from me.

We walked through the front door, where he deposited me on the living room couch and then kissed my forehead and went upstairs to prepare the bathtub, since the book I had read and under Mary's advice, the hot water helped the cramps in my belly.

Just for one second imagine for a minute this man with glasses on reading a manual about the female period. When I thought Joel couldn't be more attentive and gentle, I caught him in that situation.

-Hi, Paris —Ellie walk inside and set his backpack aside.

-Hi,cutie, how was school?

-I hate fractions, seriously, why the fuck do I want to know how to divide a cake, I just split it and that's it.

-First of all, language. Second, it's important that you know it, even if you don't believe it, it's useful for everyday life.

-Like what? -He frowned and I opened my mouth to answer, but no word could come out of my lexicon.

-You're right, they're not good for shit —I answered with a laugh from her.-Well, I'm going upstairs…

-¡Paris, your skirt! -she suddenly exclaimed. I turned my head to literally see the fabric covering my ass with a small red stain.

-¡La puta madre! ¡Shit, i love this skirt! it's my favorite, i was going to wear this for your presentation.

-We can wash it, Maria must have something or some weird substance to fix it.

My eyes glazed over at how worried she was about me. Just like her father. I wrapped my arms around her body, to which she reacted in kind. On the outside many times Ellie appeared to be a tough and somewhat coarse girl, but it was only because of the constant struggle she had gone through for the longest and shortest part of her life. She's just a kid.

-I know how bad it is when it happens to you, and you don't deserve it —she said with her face in my chest, her voice distressed.

-Relax, I'm fine —I whispered, stroking her hair —I couldn't be better, I have my family and that's all I need.

-Being a woman sucks, I wish I was half as brave as you —she looked up at me, to which I laughed to hug her tighter as I quickly denied.

-I don't agree, ¿you know why? Because we are intelligent, fearful, brave. You faced unimaginable things, Ellie, and every time you came out of it, you got stronger.

-She’s right.

We both turned around when we heard him. He walked towards us and wrapped us in his arms to lift us off the ground laughing in unison.

-Let go of me, I have to go, old man —she pulled out of his grip to run away.

-So...we have about, what, ¿2 hours for Ellie's play? —I frowned uncomprehendingly, to which he once again pulled me back to my feet —I brought chocolate almonds, just the way you like it.

Damn crazy hormones. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as if a waterfall was flowing down my face. He tried to calm me down but I put my hand on his lips, silencing him.

-Joel, please, you don't want to take me like that after you see me from behind —I said embarrased.

-You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Actually, I like the way you looked at me when I came in from the raid —I opened my mouth wide.-You made me feel attractive —he said softly, to which I immediately brought our lips together.

God, I'd been holding back since this morning, points for holding back.

-Joel Miller, did you ever look in the mirror? —I stroked his mustache and beard.-Because I can assure you that Jackson's women do.

-I don't care, darlin'. The only one who can bring me to my knees is you. And I should also say that I've seen you get looks from more than one idiot at the bar.

I sighed and kissed his cheek. We went into the bedroom, and he put me down on the bed to bend down and start taking off my shoes.

-You're mine —he said kissing my thigh as he began to undress me, making me hold my breath. He wanted to etch into my skin that I belonged to him, now and always.

[wildemaven]

fall apart, again : interlude - a letter to joel | joel miller

-> pairing: joel miller x ofc!genevieve

-> wc: 1001

-> content warning: 18+ blog; angst, alluding to loss, post outbreak, reader is Joel’s wife, reader has a name but has zero descriptive features,

-> a/n: I kind of abandoned this series and didn’t really have any plans to finish it. It felt good where they ended in chapter 3 so I was just going to call it good. But then I was reading through the chapters and kind of found some inspiration to write something for them again. Big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for always listening and encouraging and fixing my writing!!

series masterlist / playlist

previous / next

Joel,

Feels weird to be sitting here, on our bed, in our home. I guess I should mention we made it back to Austin— Steve and I. 

I met Steve in the ER in Laredo on the evening of the outbreak— he lost his wife. We managed to make it out of there together and promised to keep each other safe. He heard there’s a QZ in Denver, so we’re making our way north. 

I made him promise to stop in Austin. I just had to see for myself, see if there was a chance you and Sarah might still be here— alive. 

Like I said, it feels weird to be here. Seeing our house in this state. Disheveled and abandoned, but still feeling very much like the place we thought we’d live forever. It’s like a personal landmark now, for what once was such a beautiful home filled with so many beautiful memories. Maybe it’s more of a mausoleum of sorts. Kind of morbid, but also very true. ‘Here lies the Millers, before the world went to shit.’

Except, I’m here and you’re not. 

I think the worst part of all of this is not knowing if you’re okay. Steve says I have to accept that there’s a chance that you’re not, that any worst case scenario that I have lost sleep over, might be my reality. But I refuse to accept that. So, I silently pretend that you are okay. That you have managed to get Sarah and yourself, and hopefully Tommy, to safety. You’re somewhere out there protecting our baby girl and staying strong for her like you’ve always done. 

I feel like I’m rambling. My thoughts are just all over the place being here and thinking of you. Or maybe I’m just dragging out my time here because the minute I leave, it will be like a final goodbye to this place— and I don’t think I’m ready for it just yet. 

It’s like I can still smell the faint musk of your cologne in the air. Like you’ll walk through our bedroom door, pulling your keys and wallet from your jeans and tossing them on the dresser, all while telling me about some mishap on a job site that set you back a few days. I can just see that grumpy look you wear so well. Then, when you’ve let it all out, you instantly soften when you finally look at me sitting on our bed and then you’re apologizing for boring me with your work bullshit. I would listen to your work bullshit every single day if it meant we could be together again. 

When I got here, it was like I was being pulled into Sarah’s room. I sat there for a while, remembering all the times we had laid there with her reading her bedtime stories until she would fall asleep. I miss our dance parties while we would wait for you to come home, her insisting I had zero rhythm anytime one of her little boy band hits came on and I attempted to keep up with her choreographed routine she had memorized. I’m taking a few things of hers, I hope that’s okay. I don’t think I can come back here and I want to have something of hers. 

I found your ring on our dresser. Don’t worry I’m not mad you aren’t wearing it. Gosh, I can’t believe I would get so worked up over seeing it laying there instead of on your finger. I know how much it bothered you wearing it to work and worrying about losing it or getting it caught on something, and yet I would still get annoyed over it. But, maybe you weren’t meant to wear it so I could find it today, so I could have a piece of you with me always. 

I guess I should wrap this up. I know how much you love when I can go on and on about anything. 

I will write to you. Whenever I get the chance. To Sarah, too. I’ll keep writing to you both for as long as I can. 

I love you Joel. I always have. And I always will. Wherever you are, I just hope you know that. 

Forever and always,

Eve 

*

“Hey, Genevieve— ya doin’ okay up there?” Steve calls up from downstairs. 

“Yeah! Just give me a sec! I’ll be right down.” You try to hide your pain as you respond, wiping the few tears sprinkled across your cheeks. 

You fold your letter to Joel, placing it securely in an envelope you had found next to the pile of printer paper you tucked away with the items of Sarah’s in your pack. You push yourself off the bed, walking around to the side where Joel slept since the day you moved in. You run your handover the indentation in his pillow, remembering how much you loved to wake up before him just so you could watch him sleep. 

Lifting the corner of his pillow, you gently place the letter underneath it. The last place you talked to him, is the first place you’ll write to him. You imagine he’s laying there, sleeping peacefully when you kiss the top of his pillow. 

Grabbing your pack off the bed, you take one last look at the space, your heart clenching at the finality of this visit. You force your legs to move towards the direction of the door, stopping briefly at the dresser to grab Joel’s ring, tucking it into one of your packs inner pockets safely. 

Steve is sitting on the couch when you finally make it downstairs. His patience is something you’ve appreciated since the day you met. He knew how much stopping here meant to you, and he told you to take as much time as you needed. 

“All good?” He asks once you’ve stepped off the last step. 

“No, but it will be, I think.” You tell him as you make your way out the front door. 

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Why Does Change Hurt So Much? Pt. 2

Joel Miller X F!Reader Ellie Williams X Dina

Joel knew deep down he wouldn't be able to erase the memories of his past, nor could he hide the damage he had done. He just needed to accept it was time to move on, things would never be the same

a/n:thank you so much to everyone who read part 1! warnings:mentions of suicide/being suicidal, blood, near death experiences, self doubt, if I missed any please inbox me! Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Ellie watched the infirmary like a hawk everyday to see when Joel would finally be released to go back home. She needed to talk to him, to discuss things without it blowing up in her face and causing one of the only people she cared about to get hurt. Tommy had promised he would tell her when he went home if she was out on patrol. What she hadn’t been expecting was for Maria to send her out with the group that was to get the last of the medical supplies from the hospital. It had to be a joke, she’d been waiting for Joel to get better so that they could talk and now she wanted Ellie to just up and leave for who knows how long?

Jesse had been the one to convince her that if she did something that could benefit everyone in Jackson maybe Joel would be a little more willing to talk. It was the day they’d left that Joel was allowed to go back home, an hour before Ellie was on horseback Joel was stumbling into his living room. Tommy lied and said he was still in the bed for a few more days, claiming he’d sparked a small fever. It wasn’t Joel that was asking Tommy to lie for him, though it wouldn’t be the first time. No, it was you begging the younger Miller brother not to tell Ellie what was going on.

You held no anger towards her, knowing the risk that was leaving the walls of Jackson to go on a journey, but Joel was still healing. The stitches left behind a scar, directly next to the one that Ellie had had to sew all those years ago. Maybe that was why you were so afraid to let her near him right now, Joel had gotten hurt and it was enough to scare you. You’d spent hours talking while he laid in bed, from the last time he’d been in this same position, to what would happen next. Joel wanted to talk things out with Ellie, to put everything in the past and just move on, but he wasn’t sure where they could go from there.

“Baby, I can make coffee for myself you don’t need to worry,” Joel was staring you down, refusing to let you wait on him hand and foot anymore.

“Please Joel? I had to watch you basically become comatose for a week, the last thing I want to worry about is you hurting yourself,” You weren’t above begging, had done it on plenty occasions when it came to Joel.

He sighed softly, pushing away from the counter to let you take over for him. You smiled softly at him before finishing the simple task. Joel was thankful you weren’t set out on patrols, though Tommy never said as to why. It had been a thought that lingered in the back of his mind for the first few months of your relationship but he’d eventually moved on. You went to ask if he wanted anything to eat alongside his coffee before a small knock caught your attention. Shit, this wasn’t the best time for this to happen.

“Do you want to get the door?” Normally you’d run over to prevent Joel from seeing Ellie so soon, but you wanted them to talk.

“Oh I’m allowed to open the door but not make my own coffee?” His tone was teasing, and although you knew that meant he was in a good mood it could sour in an instant.

Ellie was twisting her fingers together, a nervous tick she’d picked up over the years that she hadn’t managed to shake. The sound of the door opening brought her attention back to the now, staring up at Joel as he stared down at her. You couldn’t look away from the coffee in front of you, unsure of what you’d say if you were confronted as well. Cold air was pouring into the kitchen as Joel and Ellie stared at one another, both staying completely silent.

“Hey, can we talk please?” It was a repeat of that day all over again, down to the damn coffee.

“Yeah, we can talk inside,” Joel moved away from the door, waiting for Ellie to step inside before shutting it tight.

You pushed the plunger down on the press once the coffee was ready, pouring a cup for Joel and offering one to Ellie. She politely declined, saying she never developed a taste for it. It had been something Joel teased her about for years before she’d hated him. Joel sat down in the chair slowly, being careful of his side that was still healing. Ellie sat across from him, watching the way he took the mug from you gently. She’d never been around couples enough to know when people were truly in love, but this? She could see the way Joel lit up when you were around, how much he wanted to pull you into his lap and smother your face with kisses. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before excusing yourself from the room, it was time for the two of them to talk about everything.

“Joel, I’m sorry,” Ellie wasn’t sure how she should start the conversation but it just slipped out.

“Ellie, I really don’t want to argue about this again,” Joel had gone through a million different scenarios while in the infirmary, and each one led back to the same dead end.

“I don’t want to argue with you Joel, I want to figure out how we can finally move past all the bullshit,” She’d talked with Jesse and Dina during the most recent trip, they offered the best advice they could but neither could truly understand the issues at hand.

Joel frowned, pulling the mug to his lips and letting the warm coffee slide down his throat. He’d barely remembered the ride back from the hospital, but he knew it was Ellie that helped get him home. That didn’t change things though, deep down he knew she was still hurt by his actions and that would never erase everything. It was selfish, possibly even a little bit stupid but Joel never claimed to be highly intelligent when it came to those he cared about. He crossed over half the country in search of his brother.

“You look at her differently than you looked at Tess,” Oh that was definitely the wrong thing to say.

“Tess and I were never together like that, it was too dangerous to get close in the QZ,” Joel’s grip tightened on the mug, his voice pitching an octave lower.

“She made it pretty obvious that she loved you before it all went to shit,” Ellie couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, eyes widening in fear as she watched his expression morph into one of pure rage.

“You don’t think I know that? She was one of the first people I started to trust during all this shit, she was the first friend I had in years! So do not sit there and act like I wasn’t aware of how Tess felt about me,” Joel pushed away from the table harshly, stumbling over to the kitchen sink.

You had been eavesdropping from around the corner, a hand pressed against your mouth to prevent the heartbroken gasp that slipped through your lips. Joel had told you about Tess, about how he’d cared about her but was too afraid to let himself just be. How they’d met Bill and Frank through the radio and had amazing lunches made by Bill. You’d wanted to make those same kinds of memories together, but you didn’t want to overshadow how much those people meant to him.

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, and when you live in a place where people aren’t even fucking honest when they get bit, it’s a little hard to get close,” Ellie had heard the amount of people being murdered in the streets, hearing their horrified screams.

“Then why start a relationship in the first place?” Maybe it was a low blow, but Ellie hadn’t been in a serious relationship before.

“Because I did love her, but I couldn’t be what she wanted me to be,” Joel rinsed out the cup, grimacing at how much coffee he had wasted.

Joel had closed himself off for years, not willing to let anyone past the barrier that was his heart for the rest of his days. It wasn’t until Ellie had pushed him away that he’d even realized just how lonely he was. And now here you were, the wife he’d never thought he’d have after living much too long into the apocalypse. He was watching his brother and sister-in-law become the parents he once was.

“I was the reason you got stabbed, if I hadn’t run into the room when you and Tommy were arguing we’d have all gone back to Jackson and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Ellie blamed herself for a lot of different things, but this was one of the main ones.

“Ellie-” 

“No, had you not left to go and get any of the supplies you would have gone back home to be with your wife, but instead you got stabbed and had a bunch of kids making sure you didn't die on the way home,” It was a reminder of the before.

Joel had never blamed her, he’d always known there would be risks while patrolling or even going on supply runs, it just happens. The girl who’d stabbed him had come up on his right side, noticing how he didn’t react to absolutely anything until the blade dug deep. Joel wanted to yell, to get their attention so desperately, but there was someone else in the room. It was better just to just slowly bleed out and die.

“Ellie, I knew the risks of going on that run even before I got onto my horse that day, you don’t need to blame yourself,” He could see your shadow from where you were leaning against the wall that separated the living room and kitchen.

“You got stabbed, again!” Ellie was slightly hysterical, more angry with herself than anything.

“People aren’t always going to be friendly, I don’t think they even realized that the three of you were there,” He’d had nightmares of that scenario happening all over, except he wasn’t the one being stabbed.

At first it was Ellie, and then Dina, Tommy, and then finally you. He’d refused to sleep after he watched you bleed out in his arms, tears streaking down his cheeks. It didn’t matter that you were asleep next to him, head pillowed on your arms as you slept so peacefully.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” This was it, Joel was about to lay everything out on the table so there were no longer any secrets between them.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie perked up in her seat, all attention focused solely on the older man.

“Back when we weren’t talking I may have been a little reckless. I’d only kept myself alive because I wanted to make sure that you would be alright, and once you found out the truth” Joel sighed to himself, this wasn’t going to be easy.

“I didn’t care whether I lived or died anymore, Tommy would send me out on patrols and supply runs and I just got careless. I nearly got myself killed more times in those few months than I did when I was still doing runs for the QZ,” It was shameful to admit Joel hadn’t wanted to survive.

It felt like a dirty secret, he hadn’t even told you how much he hated being alive during that time, even after you’d first gotten together he kept that part of himself hidden. Maybe it was because his first attempt had been unsuccessful, and losing another kid broke him down. It took for his little niece to be born for things to finally change, his brushes with death were over.

“Your wifes really nice, she didn’t even get mad at me when I told her it was my fault you got hurt,” Ellie had been nearly inconsolable that day, crying into the fabric of your shirt.

“That’s who she is as a person, I couldn’t ask for a better life partner,” Joel twirled the ring on his finger absentmindedly. 

“I’m really sorry about what I said that night, you were just being protective and I got angry because of it,” Joel knew Ellie could fight her own battles, she was stronger than everyone gave her credit for.

Joel just nodded, eyes glazed over as he stared down at the floor, memories flooding his mind as the world continued on around him. What would have happened if he’d succumbed to his injuries during that supply run? Would Ellie have blamed herself for his death the way he blamed himself for why she hated him?

“I never wanted you to have to deal with people being assholes over something like that, you deserve to be happy,” Joel had always been a supportive person, why did it matter who someone chose to spend their life with?

“Thanks,” Was it that obvious that Ellie and Dina were together? She’d kept it quiet for Jesse’s sake, even if he already knew.

“I just wanted to let you know I understand, if you don’t want to move past everything then I can’t stop you, but well, I miss you kid,” Joel could feel the way his throat was closing, choking up slightly.

Ellie threw herself out of the chair, wrapping her arms around him as he embraced her in a tight bear hug, ignoring his still healing side. It would never erase what Joel had done, or that he’d lied to her for over two years, but he wanted to work on it all.

“Tommy’s sending me out on another supply run, we won’t be as far away but I’ll be gone for a little bit,” Ellie knew Joel would worry like a mother hen, it was simply in his nature.

“Thank you for telling me,” Joel squeezed her a little bit tighter, smiling to himself.

They were going to work on their relationship one day at a time, and eventually things wouldn’t be so tense, right?

◤──•~❉᯽❉~•──◥

Ellie had been gone for a little over two weeks when the incident happened. Joel had seen everyone off, telling Ellie and Jesse to be on watch whenever they were out in the open with no easy places to hide. Ellie had promised to keep an eye on everyone and make sure no one got the upper hand. It warmed his heart how much she truly listened to him, even if he hadn’t listened to himself at times. 

He’d gone to the tipsy bison to grab some dinner and a drink with Tommy so they could catch up while you and Maria were with the baby. It didn’t matter how old she was, Joel would always refer to his niece as a little baby.

“I heard you and Ellie finally made up, took you long enough,” Tommy snickered, his hair graying more on the sides as he stared at his older brother.

“We sat down and had a conversation about everything, it was a long time coming,” Joel knew he played a big part in why they’d stopped speaking, and as much as he wanted to apologize prior, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Well I think it’s great, you two were as thick as thieves before it all went down,” Tommy finished off the last of his burger, groaning as he leaned back in his seat.

Joel chuckled as he watched Tommy unbuckle his belt, he couldn’t count on one hand the amount of times he’d had to do the same whenever you cooked for him.

“We’re still working on things, but for now it’s all good,” Joel wiped his hands off before grabbing for his whiskey.

He’d be working off the carbs tomorrow during his usual shift, but for right now he was simply enjoying the meal and conversation. Maybe he’d surprise you during your own shift and take you over for lunch, that’d be fun.

“I’m gonna get back and grab the wife, I’ve gotta get up early to help with the horses tomorrow,” Joel was thankful they stopped sending him on patrols, moreso because he wanted to be around for you more.

“Tell Maria I’ll be back in a few, gonna stop by the woodmaker and see how Emily’s new bed frame is coming along,” Joel nodded to his brother before heading out.

The air was crisp and colder than he’d been expecting, even if it was in the dead of winter Joel still preferred the warmth of the summer. He could barely hear the sounds of his own boots as he made the way to Tommy and Maria’s house. It was close to where you and he were currently living which was nice. As he turned down to one of the side paths to the house an arm wrapped around his throat as someone kicked the backs of his knees until he was on the ground. The arm tightened before letting him go, watching as he slammed into the ground.

He lifted his head to see what the hell was going on before coming face to, well knee, with Seth. Shit, this was definitely going to end badly if Seth was coming after him where no one could see him.

“Thanks to you and your little cunt daughter I got put on shit duty,” Seth slammed the heel of his boot into Joel’s side, snickering as the sound of agony ripped from the older man’s throat.

“Deserve to rot in hell you fucking asshole,” The two other men took turns kicking into any space on Joel’s body they could reach.

Joel wasn’t surprised that Seth had been demoted, it happened to anyone that stepped out of line and went after someone in the commune. He held his arms over his head to try and protect himself, too weak to try and get up and fight off the attackers. The sickening crunch that echoed in the air caught Joel’s attention immediately. Blood filled his throat within seconds, cutting off any and all air flow he had.

“Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!” Tommy’s voice startled Seth who was ready to strike another nearly fatal blow.

“Go!” Seth turned and ran, leaving Joel’s battered body lying on the ground.

The other two men fled in different directions, too scared to be confronted by one of the “leaders” of Jackson. Joel couldn’t move, coughing blood onto the packed snow that laid beneath him. Wasn’t this just the sight to see, Joel Miller would meet his end because of some homophobic asshole.

“Shit! Someone get a doctor!” Now Tommy’s voice carried a lot of authority, and even if Joel would scoff that anyone would listen, right now he was thankful someone came to his aid.

Joel was losing consciousness slowly, eyes slipping closed as he accepted the fact he would most likely never wake up. The pain was unbearable, tearing apart his body as they got him to the infirmary as fast as they could manage. He was knocked out within minutes of arrival, the town's surgeon getting ready for what would be his riskiest procedure in years.

You had gotten worried as the minutes turned into hours, surely they wouldn’t get drunk when they were both due to be at the stables tomorrow. Maria was sitting with Emily, trying to help her eat the carrots she’d cooked. It warmed your heart to watch how much of an amazing mother that Maria was, and how caring she was. The door slammed open as Tommy ran inside, the front of his shirt covered in blood. He didn’t stop to answer any of Maria’s questions before he grabbed his gun and ran back out the door.

“You..you don’t think this has anything to do with Joel, right?” Your heart was racing, he had to be okay, he just had to be.

“I’m sure he’s okay, but if you want to go check I’ll make sure to hold down the fort,” Maria wouldn’t fault you for worrying about your husband, it was natural.

You nodded towards the other woman before fleeing the house, watching as Tommy gathered a group of people to “hunt down the bastards that hurt him”. It was, something had happened to Joel and you were just finding out. Tommy had realized you were outside, cursing to himself before walking towards you. It was as if your fight or flight kicked in as you bolted towards the infirmary, if Joel had been seriously injured this is where they’d take him.

Bursting through the door it took two different people to prevent you from finding where Joel had been taken. It was serious, if you weren’t allowed to be where he was then it was truly that serious.

“Please! What happened to him?” You were hysterical, tears sliding down your cheeks as you begged for any answer.

“It looks like he got jumped, they managed to break one of his ribs which punctured his lung, they’re doing everything they can to make sure that he’ll be okay,” You knew exactly who’d done this to him.

It was no surprise that Joel had enemies inside and outside of Jackson, no one was ever innocent in this world. Hopefully they’d find Seth and whoever else was with him and get rid of them before they could harm anyone else.

“Can I wait until he’s done? Please?” You were desperate, hoping by the grace of whoever was listening that Joel would pull through.

“Yes, someone will get you when he’s stable in a room,” The nurse patted your shoulder gently before heading back to where she was needed.

It was a painful reminder of where you were just a few short weeks prior. What would Ellie say when she got back with everyone? God, could you even handle being face to face with her knowing it was because of Seth that he was hurt again? No, there was no time to let yourself spiral while your husband was struggling to survive just a few doors down.

“Where is he?!” Ellie burst through the doors, sweat dripping down the sides of her face as she locked eyes with you.

“He’s in surgery right now, Tommy already has a group looking for the guys that assaulted him,” You hadn’t stopped crying, lip quivering as you looked back at the door that separated you and your husband.

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone on that supply run, goddamnit!” Ellie was angry with herself, had she stayed behind this wouldn’t have happened.

You stood up and gently shushed the girl before pulling her into a tight embrace. It would never be Ellie’s fault that Seth was a bigot, there was nothing she could do to change his mind. The only sounds heard were your stuttered breathing and Ellie’s deep breaths. You hadn’t been aware of the two people standing in the doorway, too busy in your sorrow.

“Oh, I forgot to mention we ran into some people during the run,” Ellie pulled away from you, wiping at her eyes before she turned to face the two newcomers.

The woman looked nervous, watching the way you stood close to Ellie, the younger boy was hiding behind the woman. It would’ve been ironic had you not been worrying about Joel at that moment.

“I’m so sorry, it’s nice to meet you both,” You chuckled as you wiped away the tears, knowing you didn’t look presentable.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie actually saved us from a pack of clickers,” The girl seemed shy, though it was surprising with her stature.

“That’s because Ellie knows good people when she sees them,” You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, smiling when she leaned into you.

Tonight would be a lot more stressful knowing that Ellie was back and would also be worrying about how Joel was doing.

“Why don’t you take them over to get something to eat? Joel won’t be able to have any visitors for a while anyway,” You didn’t want to rush Ellie and the newcomers out by any means, but right now you needed to be alone with your thoughts.

“Sure, I’ll bring you something so you aren’t hungry later,” Ellie left before you could protest, the two strangers following behind her.

You plopped down in the chair you’d been occupying before, begging for anyone that was listening for Joel to pull through. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t work for two months, you’d handle everything and deal with all the annoying shit that came with it.

It was nearing four in the morning when one of the nurses came to let you know that Joel was stable and asleep in one of the rooms. You’d nearly burst into tears once more before heading off to find your husband. Joel was sleeping peacefully under the ivory sheet. There was a bag of saline hanging beside his bed, his skin paler than what you’d like to see. It looked like they cleaned him up before putting him into the room. Shit, did that mean they’d had to throw out his coat? Wow, worrying over something as trivial as a coat while your husband nearly died, real classy. 

“Hi sweetheart, I’m so sorry this happened,” You bit your lip to help prevent the tears, sliding your hand into Joel’s.

His skin was warm, the calloused fingers you’d come to know and love a reminder that Joel was still here, he was still alive. The only thing that mattered in that very moment was knowing whether or not Seth got the punishment he deserved. Ellie would make sure of it if Tommy didn’t, you had no doubts. Things would go back to normal, and Joel would be back home where it was safe. Maybe you could invite the newcomers to have dinner and meet them in a more formal place.

This was a nightmare.

[drewharrisonwriter]

On the Mend - Ch 6: She's Here!

No Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader

Read this on AO3 | On the Mend Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary: Your daughter is here and you don't have a name for her yet.

Word count: 1,359

A/N: This is it! This wraps it up! Thank you for reading this story, I appreciate you all. 💜

Tagging these wonderful people: @tuquoquebrute @vickie5446 @softiedingo @theoraekenslover for this final update. You people are amazing! 😭

The car swerved slightly as Joel turned onto the main road, his knuckles white against the steering wheel. He glanced over at her, sweat beading on her forehead, her hands clutching her swollen belly with each sharp breath she took. Every contraction seemed to tighten its grip on her, making her wince, and he hated the helplessness he felt watching her in pain.

“Hang on, darlin’. We’re almost there,” Joel said, his voice strained but calm. He reached over to squeeze her hand briefly before pulling out his phone to dial Tommy’s number.

She was panting through the pain, squeezing his hand back as best she could, grateful for his presence even if everything else felt like it was falling apart. She watched him with blurry eyes as he spoke quickly into the phone.

“Tommy, it’s happening—yeah, we’re on the way to the hospital now,” Joel said, his voice laced with urgency. “Just... keep an eye on Sarah, alright? I’ll call when I can, maybe you can bring her up when things settle down.”

He paused, listening to Tommy’s response, and his grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Thanks, Tommy. I’ll keep you posted.”

As he hung up, she turned to him, her face flushed and tired. “Thank you, Joel. I know this is... a lot.”

Joel shook his head, glancing over at her with a soft, concerned expression. “You don’t need to thank me, sweetheart. I’m here because I want to be, not because I have to.”

She nodded, though she didn’t quite believe it—not entirely. Another contraction hit, and she groaned, her head falling back against the seat as she tried to breathe through it.

“What if... what if something happens to me?” she blurted out between breaths, her voice trembling with fear. “I’ve been thinking about it, and... if something happens, and I don’t make it, what’s going to happen to our baby? I don’t want her to grow up alone, like I did.”

Joel’s heart sank, and he reached over to squeeze her hand tighter, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on her knuckles. “Hey, none of that talk, okay? You’re gonna be fine. But even if—no, when you’re fine—she’s not gonna be alone, alright? She’s got you, she’s got me, and she’s got Sarah. You’ve got family now.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears spilling out despite her best efforts to hold them back. “But I... I never wanted to burden you with this, Joel. You made it clear you didn’t want a future with me, and I get that. But I’m scared, and I didn’t know how to...”

“Stop,” Joel interrupted gently, his voice firm but kind. “I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here now. You and this baby—our baby—you’re not a burden. I’ve got you, darlin’.”

She nodded, but the fear didn’t fully dissipate. Still, there was comfort in his words, in the warmth of his hand holding hers. Another contraction hit, and she bit her lip, focusing on the rhythm of her breathing as they neared the hospital.

–

By the time they pulled into the emergency entrance, she was groaning with each step, her legs wide as she waddled through the doors. She could feel the baby’s head engaging, an overwhelming pressure that made her eyes water.

Joel was right beside her, guiding her with a firm but gentle grip on her arm. “Hang on, darlin’. You’re almost there.”

She could barely hear him through the pain, her mind focused solely on the urgency of getting the baby out. The nurses quickly ushered them into a room, and the doctor was there within minutes.

“Let’s get you checked, sweetheart,” the doctor said, helping her onto the bed. She barely had time to register the cold of the stirrups before the doctor’s voice broke through. “You’re fully dilated. This baby’s ready to come now.”

Her breath hitched, and she glanced at Joel, who was already at her side, holding her hand as another contraction ripped through her. “Wai–wha–No meds?” she managed to gasp.

The doctor shook her head. “No time, I’m afraid. But you’ve got this, okay? Just listen to your body.”

Joel leaned in, his forehead pressed gently against hers. “You can do this, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

She nodded, though every instinct screamed at her to panic. The pain was sharp, intense, and she clenched her teeth as she bore down, pushing with all the strength she had left.

“Oh, God, Joel!” she cried out, feeling the stretch, the burn as the baby’s head began to crown. “I swear, this kid has your big ol’ Miller head...”

Joel’s chuckle was half-pained, half-amused. “You can blame my momma for that one, darlin’. She always said we had the biggest and hardest heads in Texas.”

She let out a strangled laugh that quickly turned into another scream. “Yeah, well, this one’s ripping me apart! Goddammit, Joel, you’re never touching me again!”

Joel squeezed her hand, wincing as she nearly crushed his fingers, but he couldn’t help the smile that broke through his worry. “Let’s put a pin on that, darlin’.”

The doctor’s voice cut through the chaos. “One more big push, mama. You’re almost there.”

With a final, guttural scream, she pushed with everything she had left. The room seemed to blur, time slowing as she felt the baby slide free, the sudden release of pressure followed by the sweetest sound she’d ever heard—the wailing cry of their newborn daughter.

The doctor quickly placed the baby on her chest, and she sobbed, overwhelmed by the tiny, squirming miracle in her arms. Joel leaned over, his eyes wet with tears as he looked down at their daughter, his expression a mix of awe and pride.

“She’s here,” Joel whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “You did it, darlin’. She’s perfect.”

She looked up at him, her own tears blurring her vision as she gazed at their daughter. 

—

The next few hours were a blur of emotions—tears, laughter, and the quiet joy of holding their newborn daughter for the first time. Joel never left her side, even as they cleaned both her and the baby up.

Later, as the room quieted and the adrenaline began to wear off, they found themselves just staring at their baby girl, trying to come up with a name. They tossed around ideas, but nothing felt quite right.

“How about Harper?” Joel suggested, running a gentle finger along the baby’s tiny hand.

She scrunched her nose, shaking her head. “I don’t know... It’s cute, but it doesn’t feel like her.”

Joel nodded thoughtfully, staring down at their daughter. “Yeah, you’re right. She’s... I don’t know. She’s something else.”

Before they could debate further, the door opened, and Tommy stepped in with Sarah, who bounced excitedly on her heels. “Hey, y’all. Someone’s been waiting to meet her little sister.”

Sarah rushed over to the bed, her eyes wide with wonder as she looked at the baby. “Is this her? Is Ellie here?”

Both new parents froze, exchanging glances. Sarah’s question hung in the air, sweet and innocent, but it seemed to have struck them deeply.

“Ellie?” Joel repeated, his voice soft.

Sarah nodded eagerly. “Yeah! That’s what I want to call her.”

All three adults laughed. She looked at Joel, who was already smiling down at their baby. “Ellie,” she murmured, testing the name on her tongue. “I like it.”

Joel nodded, brushing a tear from his cheek. “Me too. Ellie Miller... It’s perfect.”

Sarah beamed, leaning in to kiss her baby sister’s head. “Hi, Ellie. I’m your big sister.”

They watched the tender moment, their hearts full as they took in the sight of their girls together. 

Joel leaned closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they both watched Sarah and Ellie bond. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his voice a low whisper just for her. “I don’t know what the future looks like, but... I know I want it to look like this.”

She nodded, resting her head against his shoulder, “Yeah,” she agreed softly. “Me too.”

[sstan-hoe]

◇ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 ◇

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — pre-outbreak!joel miller × fem!reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — you love joel, but god he can't cook. Meaning it's time that he learns a thing or two! However having a daughter who finds it quite amusing could make things difficult.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — this is just pure fluff honestly, Joel trying to cook – he's pretty but damn he needs practice, this fanfiction is not 18+ anyone can interact with it! (the series is 16+ but there is nothing mentioned here however I don't advice it to anyone whose scared easily), reader has no specific race or anything just that she's from Germany and her great grandma made Quark Balls (Quarkkäulchen)

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — my first joel fic!!! I'm sooo excited and I have more planned, do you want more? reblog/comment and follow!!! let's see where Joel takes us on my blog :)

Coming home at same time as Joel was something that happened every fifth full moon, he always came home late while Sarah and you were home before five in the evening. Add to that, Joel more often than not broke his promise on coming home on time.

Now imagine your surprised expression as you walked into the house and saw Joel standing in the kitchen. Sarah sat at the table giggling to herself, watching her father who apparently tried to cook?

You sneaked up on him, Sarah already noticing you and trying to keep quiet. Peaking around Joel you wondered what he was doing, your man was peeling potatoes with a knife and almost cutting himself.

“Okay, enough of this torture,” you chuckled. Joel’s eyes widened the moment he heard your voice behind him. Quickly he turned around to face you with an akward smile.

“What exactly are you doing…,” you added and took the knife and potato gently from his hands. “Cooking, darlin’,” he trailed off which had you grinning, “I can see that, however I’m a bit concerned about your fingers,” you mused inspecting his fingers for any injuries.

His attempt on peeling potatoes was rather cute, but what was he trying to cook? “And what are you trying to cook?” snaking your arms around his waist to rest your chin on his chest.

“The Quark Balls your great grandma used to make, the ones you talk about doing all the time,” Joel leaned down to press his lips to yours as your heart began beating fast. You couldn’t wish for a better man.

“Where did you get the recipe?” you asked stunned, the book which held the recipe was with your grandma back in Germany.

Sarah stood up and came to your side with a proud smile, “she send it over, it took a little bit but today it came in the mail, and I went to the store to buy everything!” she told you excited, jumping up a little which was adorable. You hugged her to your side, “thank you,” you whispered kissing her forehead.

Your eyes found Joel’s and you couldn’t help but giggle, “let’s make those Quark Balls.” He released a protesting sound, “no, we, Sarah and I will make them, and you will sit here and look pretty.” His hands gently pushed you towards the table.

Shaking your hand, you took his from your waist, “I love you, but you just can’t cook,” you didn’t want to sound mean, but it was the truth.

Joel looked at you playfully offended, “you dare to say I can’t cook?” Pursing your lips together, “well…yeah,” “I thought you loved me!” You released a wholehearted laugh in which Sarah joined, “she’s right dad,” now his eyes were on his daughter who laughed uncontrollably by now.

“You’re my daughter, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Joel shook his head at his daughter and fixed his gaze on you.

“Oh, stop whining and let’s get this done,” you nudged his shoulders and got the potato peeler from the drawer, “this, is a tool which makes peeling potatoes easier,” you held up the peeler to your man’s face.

Giving Joel the peeler while you read over the recipe, Sarah went back to her previous seat to observe the both of you.

You grabbed a Tupperware bowl especially made for the microwave to make the potatoes cook faster. Suddenly you heard a noise from Joel, the man had cut himself.

“Oh, my love,” you spoke and turned around to him, trying to hold back a chuckle. The cut wasn’t deep, but it did bleed a little bit and given its place it would be an uncomfortable pain. “I’ll get a plaster,” Sarah stood up with a teasing smile, when she came back, she held a Winnie The Pooh themed bandage. “Really?” Joel asked with a pointed look at his daughter.

“Was the only one left,” she shrugged, but the smirk she hid from him told you that it was infect not the only one left. You put the plaster around Joel’s cut and kissed it before moving him back to peel the potatoes.

Lastly you got a grater along with a bowl from the cupboard and set them up for later. Joel was finished and looked at you for further instructions, “now we cook them,” a big question mark formed above his head at your words.

A chuckle escaped your lips, “what did you do before you met me?” you shook your head and put the potatoes into the Tupperware bowl and filled it with water until they were covered. “I got baby food and dad ate everything that was ready in five minutes,” Sarah enlightened you, earning a small glare from her father.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” you joked nudging your hips against his, “okay, enough bullying me,” Joel told you in a stern voice that left no room for argument. You put the potatoes into the bowl and placed it in the microwave setting the timer at fifteen minutes.

“Sarah, have you done your homework yet?” you asked causing her to grimace and you already knew the answer, “then off you go.” She gave you a playful annoyed smile and went to her room, however you knew it wouldn’t take long until she was finished.

As soon as Sarah was upstairs Joel had you pressed against his chest and chin on your shoulder, “I’m not a bad cook,” he mumbled against your clothed skin.

You lifted your hand up to caress his stubbled cheek, “mhm, no you’re not,” you agreed turning around to wrap your arms around his neck. There was a hint of mock in your voice which Joel caught on and started tickling you, “no, no, no, Joel!” you squeaked.

He stopped tickling you and draw circles over your skin as he began pouting, “how can you be so mean to me? I’ve been nothing but good to you.”

You shook your head, suddenly a weird noise from the microwave got your attention. Furrowing your brows, you walked to the microwave and opened it, waves of water greeting you. Sighing you stopped the timer, noticing the missing lid, “Joel….” “Yes, my love, light of my life?” he asked with an akward smile.

“Did you forget to put the lid…on the bowl? You know water boils and might swap over,” you lectured him. Joel sighed, “yes, I did and yes, I know,” embarrassment spreading in him.

“Thank god you’re pretty,” you muttered and fixed his mistake. You weren’t mad at him, maybe a little bit as it was a silly mistake, but it can happen. Besides Joel never used the bowl before, this could be a part of the reason.

The timer still had ten minutes left so you took Joel and sat him at the table, “stay here and when I need my strong, pretty man I will call you,” you gave him a loving kiss on his lips.

Joel felt bad, he wanted to surprise you, but his lack of cooking skills made it hard. While he loved your cooking, he hated how you always had to cook for him while he sat there and did nothing. Of course, you told him it was okay however that didn’t ease the feeling.

After the timer was up you moved to get a bigger bowl to add the quark later, now you could use Joel. You didn’t want him to feel helpless.

Taking his hand, you positioned him in front of and gave him a grater, “rub the potatoes into the bigger bowl, careful hot. Then I will add the quark you can mix, sound good?” squeezing his hand.

“Sound’s good, darlin’,” he agreed and did as he was told, the task was a bit difficult given the state of the potatoes, but he mastered it. When he was done you added the quark, sugar and salt to the mix, as asked Joel mashed it together.

“Now we have a dough!” you exclaimed excitingly and clapped your hands. Just then Sarah was back and already eyed the finished mixture, with a knowing smile you grabbed her a spoon to make a taste test.

“More sugar,” she stated, handed you the spoon. You tried too and nodded, “agreed,” grabbing the sugar you added two more spoons.

Joel mixed again and Sarah gave you a thumbs up, “good now lets heat the pan,” it was time to bake the Quark Balls, “did you know that even tho it’s balls, they’re not balls? You take a little dough on a spoon and put it in the pan, then press it down so its max one centimetres thick. Meaning it’s actually Quark Flats,” you gave them a little lesson on the translation from German to English.

Frying them in the pan from both sides with a lot of butter to have  golden brown. The first few were a bit too dark which was why you flattened them a little more and used less heat.

Sarah snatched the first one and groaned from the taste, “these are delicious,” she praised. You chuckled happily, “thank you,” holding one up to Joel who eagerly took it. He had the same reaction as his daughter, “darlin’ these are amazing,” he pressed as kiss to your cheek after slowing the last bit.

“I’m very happy you like them, I think Omi would be proud,” you told them with a smile, heart warming at the thought of your great grandma. She always made the best Quark Balls, better than anyone or anything.

“I think we should cook more often together,” Sarah said as she hugged your side, a laugh escaping you, “you didn’t do anything, little troublemaker.” “I was moral support!” she argued playfully.

𝑱𝑶𝑬𝑳 𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹 — @jobean12-blog

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 |I do have a taglist however it has conditions that must be followed — you can follow @sstanhoe-updates for updated without anything