#Joe's Juice Joint

[iamdkj]

[adripakoffee]

50 alternate names I've seen for Jimmy Mouthwashing

Pick your favorite

Jorkinit

Juju on that beat

Jambalaya (this one is popular)

Joe Swanson

Jumbo Jack

Jimbo Sauce

Jeronimo

Jizzard

Jingle Bell

Jamboree (also pretty popular)

Jungle Gym

Jellybean

Juggles

James

Jumanji

Joint Pain

Jaree-Ra (this one is definitely a reference I don't get)

Jimbeam

Jigilojangle

Gym Shorts

Jongo Guy

Johnny Test

Jingles

Jurassic Park

Jumbotron

Jumbo Josh

[CENSORED NAME]

Jello

Jamiroquai

Jonsey from Fortnite

Jack Horner

Jujitsu

Jimmy John's Beach Club Sandwich

Papa John's Pizza

New Jersey

Jumblegop

Junkyard

Jentiles

Juul

Japarty

Jebadiah

Joe's Barbeque & Foot Massage

Jackalope

Jigglenuts

Jdiddy

Juice

Jeremy Clarkson

Gynecology

Janky

Jumboots Jamstring

[zooterchet]

Famous Assassin Recipes

Tanacharison: The filterless cigarette, a Lucky Strike, enjoyed with a gin martini. Two shots of gin, fill with seltzer, and enjoy a Lucky Strike on a brass lighter, a zippo. For VC nai poon. That's the lady. He always knew where the next war would be.

John Wilkes Booth: Take the Snake, a prison rapist, and the Loser, a bisexual informant, and switch them, with a peanut butter sandwich, Skippy, no jelly, bleached bread, Wonderbread, in high sun, with a Marlboro Red at the same time; remark, "flavor country", to the Snake, your mind's eye of the Loser. The club goes all the way back home, and there's a witch trial, on slavery.

Albert Whisker: Use a three pointer, a 3.5 shot glass, the Cantonese shot, to take a half shotter of vodka, cheap stuff, and a half shotter of orange juice, expensive, campus variety, and hammer a shot, before you snort amphetamines. That's the stuff, to get you going, to understand Chinese history. It doesn't go away, unless you've seen Disturbed in concert. Back in that day, we called him Bojangles; or maybe Scott Joplin, or Sammy Davis Junior.

Lee Harvey Oswald: Get a Marlboro Red, some nitrate car battery stomped coca (cocaine powder on cut, "pure", a CIA blend, nitrate phosphate, for the erection, or the transgender juices, if you prefer the ladies, for the ladies), and take a Bazooka Joe pellet. Demonstrate the technique, to the target, "the head crab", someone stealing a drug dealer's job to lay you, as a Freemasonic Ring (Mister President), to dab the powder from the gum, on the cigarette, then smoke it backwards, on the filter (I'm just a paddy, a poor Irish sailor). They'll need crack rock to get out, but only if they trust Jack "Hardy" Ruby, Charlie Manson (old Mister Lincoln, "he stinks", then you're shut down, the entire campus; you wrote 'nigger' in the bathroom, Lincoln was a drug dealer this time, 'again').

Martin Luther King Jr.: Order a beef tarte, the cheeseburger empanada, from anything labeled 'King', and if they have the tres luches, you've alerted them that "James Earl Ray", is in the area. A personal delivery, will be made to a black Senator's house, to see if you've received a coin, from the Nordic Lodge, the rival to the Lounge, the old athlete's singing joint. If it's Joe Frazier's Lounge, you win; you've just caught the last show to Delaware, Joe Biden is President. Like the King family wanted, a French President, since 1935 (improved traffic resistance, the last place besides the bus they can't get you; the King family, is the cops, they run the restaurant).

Sirhan Sirhan: If you have a charcoal grill, strike up a conversation, with a man with your feet. If he's a propane man, that doesn't know how to cook, he'll have your exact stumble, having studied you, to build a healthy intestine. Your mother, will retain cooking recipes, for his family's secrets, on cartoon anti-Semitism, a fat man, for the proper distribution of diet on a budget; for all involved, including you, the stock of frozen foods non-necessary to eat, to get you "off the bucket", and into proper ordering, fifteen dollars on a two dollar "squib", the fees and tip, on a twenty dollar meal, with an extra meal left over, for a three day "spree".

George Jung: "Boston" George Jung, wants you to know, that it is inappropriate, to drink whiskey, without Worcestershire sauce, hiding the steak's sauce, with a Bloody Mary. To beat AA protocols, mix the Worcestershire, in your home "furnace", the cabinet, with Jim Beam, the preferred whiskey of the CIA range division, the overweight cop. If you know a cop, who has ever been overweight, and he doesn't know he's a cop, give him a flask of Jim Beam (not a "fifth", the jeopardy round, you've just qualified as airman, you get free LSD). He'll figure everything out. But he's watching you, very closely, because your girlfriend, likes them big; you're listening to Boston George.

OJ Simpson: The bowels can be purged, through a heart seizure, a rare term of logic, invented by Jake Charlebois, at Minnesota State University, on the professional college team. The posture as Hitler, as an American quarterback aside, a bowl of whole milk, a full box of Cheerios, and a Friendly's Sundae, in the tin (now a plastic or paper cup, since the advance by OJ), can be used; eating the entire box and all the milk, then the peanut butter Friendly's Sundae, to seize the heart clamps, before the pain and agony passes, and a Marlboro Red is enjoyed, OJ's choice to retire from football to get his Wheaties Box (the first of its kind). The bowel chlonic, will unblock the hemorrhages in the liver, unless you die; you were eating too much mayonnaise (you worked food services, and are in danger of colon surgery; sorry, kid, not for the big leagues, bagging groceries).

David Charlebois: A Chinese sausage, can be enjoyed on a George Foreman grill; normally lethal, "red sausage", unless on charcoal, an easy cause of trichinosis, unless rigid cooking times are observed; impossible for the mentally ill. The press grill, however, guarantees a succulent taste, and a slow purge of the insides, the sweatest black meat you can afford. Any sausage, is delicious on a Foreman, but not like red sausage, the Chinese sausage; a boneless spare rib, lethal to Jews out of paranoia, but just delicate enough to please a Hebrew man's stomach if char broiled in a press machine. Be aware, if your room mate has the Foreman, and won't eat it, he's a traitor. Take his story of his background, and recommend it to a writer claiming Lutheran, as marked '88', Millard Fillmore; a history teacher, in politics.

[lxvefrxmthextherside]

Xander gives a sour look at the word that comes out of Joe's mouth. How he detests being called that, even more now that it's coming from this incredibly odd stranger.

His eyes narrow as he watches Joe shove his tray forward. He sighs, about to answer the inquiry when Dex gets there first.

Dammit

"My dad kinda...uh... runs the joint..." he says, looking like he got lost halfway through that statement as he picks at a biscuit. "And, it-it's great," Dex stutters, noticeably less energetic than when he first sat down.

Though he is doing that thing where he wiggles one of his feet nervously.

He truly hates giving his opinion on this place. There's truly no way for anyone here to be honest about it, especially him.

Xander sets his juice down. " It's a place to stay and some free food," he says with a shrug, hoping that was enough to end things.

Xander scowls as he sank in his chair, praying for meal time to be over soon. There's no way it could last much longer, right?

"Not the fuckin kids table," he mumbles softly as he picks up the juice box Dex bought him and violently stabs it.

He can tell poor Dex dosen't know what's going on by the way his eyes have darted back and forth between him and this Joe character. "Uhh, I mean...he gets kinda- "

"Kinda what!?" Xander interrupts, causing Dex to laugh.

This whole thing has gone to hell. Dammit. Ya, they look like a couple of children right now.

[theminecraftbee]

trying to watch as many povs as possible for s9

i have no clue whats happening in a lot of it

heres what ive got so far

docm77

mr docm77 what is the hivemind

why have you broken minecraft like 6 times already (and its only episode 3)

i get that the slime chunks near the mushroom island are pog because no mobs but

its 15k blocks from spawn king

ghasts in minecarts???????

7/10

tango (of the tek variety)

has funky intro music

man built a haunted house in march fuck yea

no idea how a zombie / drowned farm with witches and snowmen results in copper but ight it looked rad

10/10

bdubs

built a joint

and then made a very swag interior for said joint

420/10

joe hills

funny man! funky house!!

built it out of granite, brick and end stone

i tuned into exactly 1 (one) of this mans streams

and he was green and purple and half blended into the game background

20/10

cleo

i am doing a uni degree in classics (and english lit) so maybe im biased

but oh my god i love her so much

mythology!! cool statues!! ruins!! (lots of good brain juice here)

a good variety of humour

kept the gem finding holes bit in

10/10

keralis

built fish tank

made a hyperrealistic house in the block game (i thought the thumbnail was a photo of someones irl crib at first)

went looking for pigstep

dared to ask xb how old he was

9/10

xb

how old is he?

you may ask but that doesnt guarantee a reply!!

has many pairs of shoes

and also pigstep!!

(i havent watched a lot of his episodes yet but he is swag)

10/10

ren

who is rosie

there is a spaceship???

mushroom island is 15k blocks from spawn.

but also pie!!

8/10

cub

cub

these are all FANTASTIC summations of those povs, yes. cub can really only be described as "cub", yes yes. the ratings are all also excellent. and i see you watched a joe hills stream and had the fantastic fortune of being able to meet the beetlejhost. always a good time with that guy.

(as for the hivemind - that's what doc refers to his circle of friends in the technical community with, in order to try to make clear that he's not the sole inventor of a lot of the stuff he displays. the goat is a hivemind, as in there are many people who make this technical stuff happen!)

[antoncrane]

Thinking about Viv & Asher. （๑´ﻌ｀๑）♡♡♡ (If you’re on twitter, you’ve already been subjected to this and you’ll probably get more lmao.) Anyway, random ramblings:

Viv owns a house plant in a former coffee pot. Asher 'little spatial awareness when annoyed' Mir knocked it over one day and broke the plant pot, had a moment of 'EH' then haphazardly temp re-homed it in the empty coffee pot then promptly forgot about it. Viv found out the next morning when he went to go make bean juice. Anyway since then the plant's been called Joe. It's a Dracaena trifasciata. (A new coffee pot was later obtained.) - - - HC that the skin around Ash's scarring/vex arm connector can get dried out and split open sometimes. So his biggest act of intimately trusting someone else is 'Ah moisture balm my shoulder blade for me.' (That was essentially his confession of 'Fine, okay; whatever, you're bearable ' to Viv.) Viv's little act of love is cleaning up the joints on Asher's vex arm/hand. Ash gets to catch up on reading, while Viv's got the old toothbrush, rag and gun oil out. Little, once so often evening ritual.

[improvidence318]

i said screw it so here it is

howdy howdy, this is the anon with the 20’s lingo sheet. i don’t have a tumblr (though i wish i do tbh) and realized that i don’t know how to work shit on tumblr, so i’m just sending in the sheet through a text post. i am highly aware of the amount of power i’m bestowing upon you and honestly couldn’t give a damn

A

ab-so-lute-ly: affirmative all wet: incorrect And how!: I strongly agree! ankle: to walk, i.e.. “Let’s ankle!” apple sauce: flattery, nonsense, i.e.. “Aw, applesauce!” Attaboy!: well done!; also, Attagirl!

B

baby: sweetheart. Also denotes something of high value or respect. baby grand: heavily built man baby vamp: an attractive or popular female, student. balled up: confused, messed up. baloney: Nonsense! Bank’s closed.: no kissing or making out ie. “Sorry, mac, bank’s closed.” bearcat: a hot-blooded or fiery girl beat it: scram, get lost. beat one’s gums: idle chatter bee’s knee’s: terrific; a fad expression. Dozens of “animal anatomy” variations existed: elephant’s eyebrows, gnat’s whistle, eel’s hips, etc. beef: a complaint or to complain. beeswax: business, i.e. “None of your beeswax.” Student. bell bottom: a sailor bent: drunk berries: (1) perfect (2) money big cheese: important person big six: a strong man; from auto advertising, for the new and powerful six cylinder engines. bimbo: a tough guy bird: general term for a man or woman, sometimes meaning “odd,” i.e. “What a funny old bird.” blotto (1930 at the latest): drunk, especially to an extreme bootleg: illeagal liquor breezer (1925): a convertable car bug-eyed Betty (1927): an unattractive girl, student. bull: (1) a policeman or law-enforcement official, including FBI. (2) nonesense (3) to chat idly, to exaggerate bump off: to kill bum’s rush, the: ejection by force from an establishment bunny (1925): a term of endearment applied to the lost, confused, etc. Often coupled with “poor little.” bus: any old or worn out car.

C

cake-eater: a lady’s man caper: a criminal act or robbery. cat’s meow: great, also “cat’s pajamas” and “cat’s whiskers” cash: a kiss Cash or check?: Do we kiss now or later? cast a kitten: to have a fit. Used in both humorous and serious situations. i.e. “Stop tickling me or I’ll cast a kitten!” Also, “have kittens.” cheaters: eye glasses check: Kiss me later. chewing gum: double-speak, or ambiguous talk. choice bit of calico: attractive female, student. chopper: a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun, due to the damage its heavy .45 caliber rounds did to the human body.  chunk of lead: an unnattractive female, student. clam: a dollar coffin varnish: bootleg liquor, often poisonous. copacetic: excellent crasher: a person who attends a party uninvited crush: infatuation cuddler: one who likes to make out

D

daddy: a young woman’s boyfriend or lover, especially if he’s rich. daddy-o: a term of address dame: a female. Did not gain widespread use until the 1930’s. dapper: a Flapper’s dad darb: a great person or thing. “That movie was darb.” dead soldier: an empty beer bottle. deb: a debutant. dewdropper: a young man who sleeps all day and doesn’t have a job. dogs: feet doll: an attractive woman. dolled up: dressed up don’t know from nothing: doesn’t have any information don’t take any wooden nickels: don’t do anything stupid. doublecross: to cheat, stab in the back. dough: money drugstore cowboy: A well-dressed man who loiters in public areas trying to pick up women. dry up: shut up, get lost ducky: very good dumb Dora: an absolute idiot, a dumbbell, especially a woman; flapper.

E

earful: enough egg: a person who lives the big life

F

face stretcher: an old woman trying to look young fella: fellow. As common in its day as “man,” “dude,” or “guy” is today. “That John sure is a swell fella.” fire extinguisher: a chaperone fish: (1) a college freshman (2) a first timer in prison flat tire: a bore flivver: a Model T; after 1928, also could mean any broken down car. floorflusher: an insatiable dancer flour lover: a girl with too much face powder fly boy: a glamorous term for an aviator For crying out loud!: same usage as today four-flusher: a person who feigns wealth while mooching off others.

G

gams (1930): legs gatecrasher: see “crasher” get-up (1930): an outfit. get a wiggle on: get a move on, get going get in a lather: get worked up, angry giggle water: booze gimp: cripple; one who walks with a limp.  Gangster Dion O’Bannion was called Gimpy due to his noticeable limp. gin mill: a seller of hard liquor; a cheap speakeasy glad rags: “going out on the town” clothes go chase yourself: get lost, scram. gold-digger (1925): a woman who pursues men for their money. goods, the: (1) the right material, or a person who has it (2) the facts, the truth, i.e. “Make sure the cops don’t get the goods on you.” goof: (1) a stupid or bumbling person, (2) a boyfriend, flapper. goofy: in love grummy: depressed grungy: envious

H

handcuff: engagement ring hard-boiled: tough, as in, a tough guy, ie: “he sure is hard-boiled!” hayburner: (1) a gas guzzling car (2) a horse one loses money on heavy sugar (1929): a lot of money heebie-jeebies (1926): “the shakes,” named after a hit song. heeler: a poor dancer high hat: a snob. hip to the jive: cool, trendy hit on all sixes: to perform 100 per cent; as “hitting on all six cylinders”; perhaps a more common variation in these days of four cylinder engines was “hit on all fours”.  See “big six”. hood (late 20s): hoodlum hooey:  nonsense. Very popular from 1925 to 1930, used somewhat thereafter. hop: a teen party or dance Hot dawg!: Great!; also: “Hot socks!"  Rarely spelled as shown outside of flapper circles until popularized by 1940s comic strips. hot sketch: a card or cut-up

I

"I have to go see a man about a dog.”: “I’ve got to leave now,” often meaning to go buy whiskey. icy mitt: rejection insured: engaged iron (1925): a motorcycle, among motorcycle enthusiasts iron one’s shoelaces: to go to the restroom ish kabibble (1925): a retort meaning “I should care."  Was the name of a musician in the Kay Kayser Orchestra of the 1930s.

J

jack: money Jake: great, ie. "Everything’s Jake.” Jalopy: a dumpy old car Jane: any female java: coffee jeepers creepers: a term of exclamation jitney: a car employed as a private bus. Fare was usually five-cents; also called a “nickel.” joe: coffee Joe Brooks: a perfectly dressed person; student. john: a toilet joint: establishment juice joint: a speakeasy

K

kale: money keen: appealing killjoy: a solemn person knock up: to make pregnant know one’s onions: to know one’s business or what one is talking about

L

lay off: cut the crap left holding the bag: (1) to be cheated out of one’s fair share (2) to be blamed for something let George do it: a work evading phrase level with me: be honest limey: a British soldier or citizen, from World War I line: a false story, as in “to feed one a line.” live wire: a lively person lollapalooza (1930): a humdinger lollygagger: (1) a young man who enjoys making out (2) an idle person

M

manacle: wedding ring mazuma: money milquetoast (1924): a very timid person; from the comic book character Casper mind your potatoes: mind your own business. mooch: to leave moonshine: homemade whiskey mop: a handkerchief munitions: face powder

N

neck: to kiss passionately necker: a girl who wraps her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. nifty: great, excellent noodle juice: tea Not so good!: I personally disapprove. “Now you’re on the trolley!”: Now you’ve got it, now you’re right.

O

off one’s nuts: crazy Oh yeah!: I doubt it! old boy: a male term of address, used in conversation with other males. Denoted acceptance in a social environment.  Also “old man” “old fruit.” “How’s everything old boy?” Oliver Twist: a skilled dancer on a toot: a drinking binge on the lam: fleeing from police on the level: legitimate, honest on the up and up: on the level orchid: an expensive item ossified: drunk owl: a person who’s out late

P

palooka: (1) a below-average or average boxer (2) a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka, who came from humble ethnic roots panic: to produce a big reaction from one’s audience percolate: (1) to boil over (2) As of 1925, to run smoothly; “perk” pet: necking, only more; making out petting pantry: movie theater piffle: baloney piker: (1) a cheapskate (2) a coward pill: (1) a teacher (2) an unlikable person pinch: to arrest. Pinched: to be arrested. pinko: liberal pipe down: stop talking prom-trotter: a student who attends all school social functions pos-i-lute-ly: affirmative, also “pos-i-tive-ly” punch the bag: small talk putting on the ritz: after the Ritz Hotel in Paris (and its namesake Caesar Ritz); doing something in high style. Also “ritzy.”

Q

R

rag-a-muffin: a dirty or disheveled individual rain pitchforks: a downpour razz: to make fun of Real McCoy: a genuine item regular: normal, typical, average; “Regular fella.” Reuben: an unsophisticated country bumpkin. Also “rube” Rhatz!: How disappointing! rub: a student dance party rubes: money or dollars rummy: a drunken bum

S

sap: a fool, an idiot. Very common term in the 20s. says you: a reaction of disbelief scratch: money screaming meemies: the shakes screw: get lost, get out, etc. Occasionally, in pre 1930 talkies (such as The Broadway Melody) screw is used to tell a character to leave. One film features the line “Go on, go on – screw!"  screwy: crazy; "You’re screwy!” sheba: one’s girlfriend sheik: one’s boyfriend simolean: a dollar sinker: a doughnut sitting pretty: in a prime position skirt: an attractive female smarty: a cute flapper smudger: a close dancer sockdollager: an action having a great impact so’s your old man: a reply of irritation speakeasy: a bar selling illeagal liquor spill: to talk spoon: to neck, or at least talk of love static: (1) empty talk (2) conflicting opinion stilts: legs struggle: modern dance stuck on: in love, student. sugar daddy: older boyfriend who showers girlfriend with gifts swanky: (1) good (2) elegant swell: (1) good (2) a high class person

T

take someone for a ride: to take someone to a deserted location and murder them. tasty: appealing teenager: not a common term until 1930; before then, the term was “young adults.” tell it to Sweeney: tell it to someone who’ll believe it. tight: attractive Tin Pan Alley: the music industry in New York, located between 48th and 52nd Streets tomato: a “ripe” female torpedo: a hired thug or hitman

U

unreal: special upchuck: to vomit upstage: snobby

V

vamp: (1) a seducer of men, an aggressive flirt (2) to seduce voot: money

W

water-proof: a face that doesn’t require make-up wet blanket: see Killjoy wife: dorm roomate, student. What’s eating you?: What’s wrong? whoopee: wild fun Woof! Woof!: ridicule

X

Y

You slay me!: That’s funny!

Z

zozzled: drunk

  have fun.

[nintendylan64]

My problems with FNAF Lore

Hey guys. I felt like I wanted to explain my problems with the FNAF lore, and how the lore was ruined for me years ago.

My history with the franchise and the lore Now, I discovered the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise back in 2014 through DanTDM's Let's Play of Five Nights at Freddy's 2. It was the first time I had ever been introduced to the jumpscares and characters in-game. But I actually discovered the first game through a YTP someone made of it. With how little I knew from discovering that YTP, I assumed that Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy were anthropomorphic animals that ran the place, and that Freddy just liked to leave scary stuff in his office because he was a horror guy. That assumption was way off and DanTDM's Let's Play let me discover that the antagonists weren't anthropomorphic animals. I then discovered Markiplier's videos on the games in 2014, and fan-animations of the games like SMG4's Freddy's Spaghettiria series, and Piemations' 5 AM at Freddy's series. Besides the surprising jumpscares, what really got me hooked on the FNAF series was the 80s-90s aesthetics, and the lore behind it all. Around late 2014 and early 2015, I had discovered the hidden lore series by MrCreepyPasta, which was what got me interested in exploring the lore. I loved the FNAF lore when it was just, "Man kills 5 kids in pizzeria joint and the animatronics become haunted by the spirits of the kids". This made it feel much more realistic, as murder of kids in a place like this can happen in real life. The fact that the staff weren't behind any of it, and that the guards were originally just some average joes who got hired for a night guard position without knowing the dangers of it was also very realistic too. And the inclusion of another tragic event known as the "Bite of '87" was also interesting. But the biggest thing that made the lore have a charm to it, was how there was an implied history of Fazbear Entertainment, and FNAF 2 showed us the history of the place before the tragedies happened, as well as implying that the negative impression was stuck before the murders was also interesting. The lore was interesting back then because of how realistic and mysterious it was. And when the third game came out, it was a great conclusion to the franchise, in which the killer got his comeuppance, leaving the kid's souls to rest in peace. And the killer haunting the suit he died in as an attempt to escape his torment of being trapped in a suit, eventually leaving him to be burned alive in the location he was at was a very nice way to end things. But the way it had expanded on the story by taking place thirty years after the events of the first game, with the unsolved mysteries of Fazbear Entertainment trying to be recreated by people was a good way to expand upon the story. So basically, I prefer the FNAF lore when it was the story of how kids were murdered in a pizzeria joint, and how they eventually got revenge on their killer, while room was made to show us how the pizzeria joint handled this, and how the alleged hauntings were shown through the animatronics being possessed. Because of the lore being so interesting, I tried making up my own timelines to tie the story of the first three games together. And seeing as how the lore was concluded, it should've just ended there, right? Well... it didn't.

Where the problems crept in I think that the problems with the lore crept in with the fourth game. Now, this game could've had potential, as it could've taken place in the location where the withered animatronics were used in before FNAF 2, but it didn't do that. We got instead a child suffering through nightmares, with animatronics that have particularly stupid designs. Plus, what made it worse was that the Bite of 83 was introduced, making the topic of the Bite of'87 confusing since it was implied it happened in the second game, but now it was happening in the fourth game? But then it was revealed to be a separate event, why two separate events of the same thing? What constitutes the idea of establishing a similar event to the Bite of '87? It had nothing to impact the games itself at all. The bigger thing that was confusing is this, Fredbear's Family Diner was implied to have been closed for longer than 1983-1987, and the fact that you see the unwithered versions of the withered animatronics in Fredbear's makes it all the more confusing, since Fredbear's was established as a separate, and early location before it was later re-enfranchised as Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. So why retcon what was established in the previous games? Why not just show us in the fourth game what happened with the withered animatronics before they became withered, and then make a fifth game that took place in Fredbear's Family Diner? I don't know why Scott felt the need to retcon things, especially since most people thought that the franchise had already ended with the third game. Later on down the line, Sister Location came out in 2016. And I honestly hate Sister Location, lore-wise that is. The reason I say this is because Sister Location fucked up everything more than the 4th game. This time, there was more retconning, the horror tone and 80s-90s aesthetic was gone, the game felt like Sci-fi and less like the older games. Worse, Purple Guy was given an actual name, and turned from a cold-blooded killer that killed kids because of being a psychopath, into a mad scientist obsessed with placing souls into animatronics using soul juice in an attempt to create murderous animatronics, and he killed kids to do this, but most of them were his own or his friend's kids, Fazbear Entertainment was actually started by this maniac, and Mike Schmidt from FNAF 1 was no longer an average joe working a night shift job, but instead the son of the killer and later became an unrealistic purple zombie that somehow got hired for night shift positions. Jeremy and Fritz were no longer average joes either, and were now aliases for the purple zombie who's actual name was Michael Afton, making Mike Schmidt another alias for this zombie. And now, this was more about a family that was insane to begin with trying to put their own personal demons to rest, rather than the story of the murder of 5 children in a pizzeria joint, and the killer gets his comeuppance while the faceless pizzeria chain tried keep its reputation afloat, eventually failing which lead to the closure of it. All of this shattered how I interpreted the lore. The biggest things that Sister Location fucked up were the following. 1. Taking away the 80s/90s aesthetic. In the first and second game, the game has an 80s and 90s aesthetic with the looks of the locations and decor, as well as the camera sounds sounding like cassette tapes, and the first took place in the early 90s, while the second took place in the late 80s. FNAF 3 kept the 80s/90s aesthetic, and I'd argue FNAF 4 kept the old aesthetic too, such as how old everything looked in FNAF 3, and how the house looks particularly old in FNAF 4. FNAF SL's aesthetics look way too futuristic for a FNAF game, especially since it's said to take place before the first 4 games. 2. Making it more sci-fi. The original FNAF games, and the fourth one were meant to be horror games, and they established this greatly with audio and visual cues, as well as the storyline having a horror-esque feel to it during the first 3 games, and even the 4th game kept. The focus on sci-fi traits or elements in SL kind of kills the horror-esque feel that FNAF originally gave off, especially the whole soul juice and mad scientist part. 3. Making Fazbear Entertainment have an owner. Fazbear Entertainment should've just been left as a faceless corporation that had nothing to do with the murders, the type of company to try and cover up the damage done to their reputation by cutting costs or not batting an eye when a man kills children in their restaurant. 4. Making Mike, Jeremy, and Fritz into aliases. It doesn't make any sense as to why a company would hire a foul smelling zombie who kept changing his name. I think that Mike, Jeremy, and Fritz should've just been average joes that got night guard positions not knowing that their jobs were dangerous and not knowing the hauntings of the pizzeria they applied to work for. And 5. The Afton Family. The Afton Family completely ruined the idea of the children being killed at Freddy's by an unknown man, since now it's just about a family killing his own for a dumb mad science experiment and the son is trying to stop his own father, making it so you no longer play as an average joe that discovers the dark secrets and hauntings of a pizzeria joint, but instead you're just playing as a zombie that needs to kill his own father in order to stop his father from killing anyone else. Seriously, it feels less like a horror game, and now feels more like a badly written self-insert sci-fi story with some bit of horror mixed in. The FNAF series is way too complicated to figure out now due to loads of retconning and unnecessary changes made to the story. Worse, the Nightmare, Funtime, and other animatronics that have been added to the franchise just seems like an excuse for Scott to just add new characters simply to keep the franchise going. Now, let's look at a FNAF fan-game series with a better written story.

Five Nights at Candy's Five Nights at Candy's has a much easier to understand story than FNAF. In the first game, you play as a female night guard at a burger joint where an unfortunate incident occurred between an animatronic and a customer, and an incident involving two kids at the factory where the animatronics were made. The backstory of everything, such as the original location and the burger joint's opening are explained in FNAC 3, showing how two unfortunate incidents at the puppet/animatronic theatre led to the closure of the place. We also learn more about the main character from the first game, and the one who caused the murders as well as the victims. In the second game, everything is concluded with the daughter of the guard solving the mysteries of the old factory. The reason is because Emil Macko managed to actually tell the story in an effective way, without retconning anything and without relying entirely on twists and misdirection.

Conclusion So yeah, I can't stand FNAF lore post-FNAF 4, because of how it became way too confusing to understand, and with how the series started retconning tons of things and making unnecessary changes. And it's amazing how a FNAF fan-game was able to tell its story better than the actual FNAF fan-games. So for me, I'm sticking with the FNAF 1-3 lore, which is my interpretation of it. Before I end this blog though, what's annoying is that no matter if you mention the FNAF 1-3 lore on YouTube, people will instantly start bringing in the modern FNAF lore and correct you, even if you're following you're headcanon.

[neural-nett-and-link]

Prompt: “Today we fart “

cw: urine. this thing LOVES to talk about urine. i did not even mention urine. i blame the source material

- Today we fart 7 19 598 Flip Flop Simulator - In search of our flip best. - Let's talk about that. (upbeat music) Good Mythical Morning. Many of you have requested one of us to make a random game about flip flop. And it's time for - The Flip Flop Simulator. You're gonna need some tools. Stack Modellers. There are a few pretty simple tools that we've got. We've brought in a real hi-fi, some RC cars, and some wood. We've also got bamboo. - It's bamboo. - Mhmm. And some hamster balls. - Tons of hamster balls. (laughing) And orange juice. - And I got a bale of hay. - So there's a lot of wood in that thing, right? - Yeah, I've got a bunch of blocks, a pile of hay, and I've got a bunch of flimsy wood in the back. I hope that you're eating this thing up. - It's fake wood. Just fake wood. And I highly recommend you avoid the hamster ball. It's just fake wood, i a perfect replica. - It's fake wood. - It's fake wood. - Is it real wood? - It's fake. You can't compete without hamster balls. So we are going to design a game so that it can be played and as a result, we're going to get several people to do the same. - So I've been thinking a little bit. It's like... - I've been thinking it. - Do you know what I'm thinking? - Oh, gosh. - Well, I've been thinking it for a little bit. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm thinking it's real wood that's been exposed to the air. Look at that. - I don't know. - Yeah. - I'm thinking it's real wood. - I just think it's real wood, man. - It's fake wood. - It's fake wood? - [Link] It's fake wood. - I've been thinking it for a second. - Sure, it made my teeth hurt. - I didn't mean to do that. - You're not gonna need that. - [Link] And it is a little bit big, man. This is like the pumpkin that was put on the Thanksgiving table? - That's what it is, right? - [Rhett] Trick-or-treating, I guess. - As a matter of fact, I actually went to the pumpkin patch yesterday. - How did you go to the pumpkin patch? - [Rhett] I went there and ate some pumpkin. - It's pumpkin, it's pumpkin. - Okay. - Now, I love to use the word pumpkin. - Shh. Use it. - But I eat it. I mean, I'm not gonna put that in this game. - [Rhett and Link] Hahaha! - You're going to get some hamsters. They're jealous, right? Mine was the rarest hamster on the planet. - That's right. Now, they say they have the hardest working hamsters. And that's true. But I mean, I know it's not true. And the best way to start to figure out the hamster's work ethic is to play a game about hamster balls. You know what, I've never been to the pumpkin patch. It's just around the corner. (laughing) And this is where I leave my home hamster balls. You know what I'm saying? - I live near it, man. - Just smack their heads in. - I don't wanna do that. - They gotta get the hamsters to bounce. I'm just gonna give you a perfect view of my hamster ball busting. It's just like this. - Is it real hamster ball? - No, it's fake hamster ball. - [Rhett] Okay. - [Link] It's fake hamster ball. I gotta tell you this. - It's fake hamster ball. - It's fake hamster ball. - It's fake hamster ball. - It's fake hamster ball. - It's fake hamster ball. - [Link] That's a dummy, I say that. - It's fake hamster ball. - People can be fooled. It's fake hamster ball, man. It's fake hamster ball. - You want an example. - What do they call it, "what do I call this thing?" - That's the other really weird part. - Okay. I think this is just dummy hamster ball because there's no solidy. - [Rhett and Link] This is dummy hamster ball. Like I'm just not proud of dipping my hamster balls. It's a hamster ball game, dummy hamster ball. And I mean ==================== - Today we fart __________ at work. - (laughs) Farting Pizza. - (farts into his PJ) Oh, ooh. (laughing) - (farts) And farting Pizza. - (laughing) They're the snobbiest slice pizza in America. And they just farts out of their hands. Just like they fart in public. Guys that I know. That's what people farting pizza in public are like. (farts loudly) This is like a hippie party. You know, there's a lot of people farting while they're farting pizza joints. And it's a cultural thing. It's a thing. One of the more common things to do with farting Pizza members is, "Hey guys, I'm Ralph." (alarm rings) Uh, that's Rhett. - (chuckles) Oh, he's going out. Uh, I'm Ralph. And I'm uh, this is Rhett. Just like I farting pizza. - Uhh. - (always farting) (laughing) - (laughs) - Ah, yes. - (laughing) - (farts loudly) That's right, Link, I'm an airhead and it's YOUR fault for farting while you're farting pizza. All right. Here is my cue. (Rhett) So if I seem unable to come up with a name for farting pizza, hold up my hand. And then I will now call it farting pizza. (everyone in unison laughs) It's really fun. (farts loudly) Yeah. Lick it. (farts loudly) Yeah. (farts loudly) Yes. (farts loudly) Oh, yep. (laughing) (Alarm rings) (Stevie) Okay, Link, the pizzaperson is farting pizza. (laughing) - Yeah. - (farts) Farts all right. (Stevie) You ready to fart? *Rhett & Link fly up with farting pizzas* - Huh? Link, what did you fart pizza in front of me? (laughing) (sniffing) (laughing) Yeah, I fart. Oh I'm very thirsty. (laughing) (sniffing) Yeah. Please. Okay, I'm gonna fart. (laughing) Alright, Link, I'm done. - (laughing) - (stuttering) Oh, I'm gonna fart. - (laughing) Oh, I fart. - (laughing) (sniffing) (Sniffing) (laughing) Oh, man. That was so great, man. I love pizza. It's absolutely amazing. - (laughing) - And you know, it's worth it to fart pizza. - Yeah. - ♪ (theme music) � ♪ ♪ (farting pizza) ♪ - ♪ This is a bold move♪ - But I don't think I ever fart. - I'm sorry. - (laughing) - Okay, here's the thing. - I fart pizza pizza. - Yeah, I fart pizza. - Well, I fart it around a lot. I fart a lot. - Yeah, I fart pizza. - We fart pizza, man. And after I fart pizza, I fart pizza. I fart pizza. - So you fart pizza, and then you fart pizza. - Yeah, yeah. - And you fart pizza pizza, which - Yeah, yeah. - Well, you fart pizza. - So we fart pizza pizza together. - At least I do. That's why I fart pizza. That's gonna make a nice film. Yeah, you're right. I fart pizza pizza. - I fart pizza, yeah. - Okay. Now, Link, you fart a lot. I fart pizza. - (laughing) - (farts loudly) Like farting pizza. And you fart pizza, too, right? - (laughing) Yeah, like farting pizza. So I fart pizza. - Yeah. - And I fart pizza, because my pizza actually farts a lot. So I fart pizza. I fart pizza. And I fart Fart Pizza. - (laughing) - I fart Fart Pizza. You fart Fart Pizza. You fart Fart Pizza. And you farties pizza. So I fart pizza, because I fart Fart Pizza. - Okay. - (laughing) You fart Papa Fart. He fart pizza. (laughing) So I fart Papa Fart. - (laughing) You fart Papa Fart. We fart Papa Fart. Papa Fart fart pizza. That's Papa Fart fart pizza. - (laughing) - You fart Papa Fart. - (laughing) We fart Papa Fart. Papa Fart fart pizza. You fart Papa Fart fart Pizza. - (laughing) You fart Papa F ==================== - Today we fart 1 4 39 How To Get A Pig To Like You - Want a pig to like you? Let's talk about that! ♪ (theme music) ♪ - Good Mythical Morning! - Mythical Beasts, we are doing a series of important lies in order to convince the public that we are on a farting road to getting a pig to like you, and we are doing it by lying about it. So today we are once again starting to move forward with this very important task. - We were already here. Okay, we've got a moral obligation to accomplish our mission. - Yep we do, it's time to start being honest. We'll start a series of important truths. I mean, I think what we're doing is important. We're doing an important task. We've got to train pigs to love us. So we're just gonna lie... - So you're going to lie? - No, I'm just going to lie about that. - Let's do this. ♪ (rock music) ♪ Let's do this. - Yes, together we will start truth. We're on the job. At this point we're not going to be enemies anymore. Since we're bot learning how to love each other, we're going to be friends with each other, and maybe a little bit more. - And then those legs won't be able to thank- You guys are going to start playing the game. - I'm just giving you the general rules and then I'm going to begin to fill in certain details on this person. Nothing has to be exactly the same. - Yeah, I'm gonna start with their name, their breed. I'm going to start texting them about their breed. - Yeah, we've got to get as close to the truth as possible. We're talking about everything between them. - They won't like us, they won't be able to hug us. They won't be able to put their feet up to the window like we are. - What? - This is like the game of chicken. I don't know why I'm doing this. - But you know, I went into business for real on this one. - I'm not a little game, I'm a bigger game. - Okay, I'll see you next time. ♪ (rock music) ♪ ♪ (Link & Various Instrumentals) ♪ That's that's all ♪ ♪ (reflection) ♪ ♪ The Bleak Creek Tollers ♪ ♪ (crowd cheering) ♪ It's real ♪ ♪ Settlers of Cat's Backbone ♪ ♪ (singing sad music) ♪ ♪ It's No-Through-The-Set ♪ ♪ So, now that we've made our choice to get a pig to like us, let's take a moment to get the rest of our dog food and thank- you for being with us today, breaking the news to us. (gruffly) ♪ (Chapman) ♪ Happy Valentine's Day! ♪ Thank you Disney for wiring us a $300 gift card. (singing sad music) ♪ (chic chime) ♪ (audience claps) ♪ ♪ For the Do-Dogs (singing sad music) ♪ ♪ (chic chime) ♪ ♪ And, Disney Vacation! (singing sad music) ♪ (chic chime) ♪ That's the Disneyland theme song! ♪ ♪ (chic chime) ♪ ♪ ♪ Disney's Believe It or Not ♪ (chic chime) ♪ (chic chime) ♪ Click the top link to watch us put our animal-shaped toys to the test in Good Mythical More. - And to find out where the needle is going to land. - What's another Disney theme song? - Where's the needle? We're gonna find out. - [Joe] But first we're going to turn a Disney person on their ear. - Want to be a Disney Santa? - That's the question. - What do you wanna be a Disney Santa? - I'm saying Santa. - You want to be a Disney Santa? - Yeah. - Yes, I'm. You want to be a Disney Santa? - Yes. - I've seen Santa. - Yes. In my house. - Okay. Okay, and now. - And then let's do this. - Okay, that's enough horse shoe. - [Joe] With that, we're gonna go to the people who are going to be wearing this pin. What's your wish list? - It's gonna be a lot of items to make up. - [Joe] And it's gonna be just us, the members of the Pinocchio family. - Well are you going to be wearing this shirt? - Yes. - Oh. ==================== - Today we fart ives kind of farting kind of farting ive. - Well we're gonna fart. - That's coming in just like this. - I'm great at this. (crew laughs) - As I'm farting like farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting farting (chalk music) ♪ ♪♪ - ♪ Deep, Baby ♪ (inhale Listen) ♪ His screams still echo through my head ♪ (gasps) ♪ I'm falling apart! - I'm getting myself laid! - My body's on fire! I'm bad! - So bad! And it's not too late, just say it, it'll make it better! ♪ I'm gonna live ♪ "The voice in the night" ♪ (laughing) ♪ That's your voice in the night ♪ (inhales Listen) ♪ Enjoy the thing that I farted ♪ (laughs) - He's popping his bubble. - How does that help? - Yeah, I can't see any of it. - If you're grossed out and you want to see a little bit of that, just go to the John Wayne Signature Farting Museum. They have the museum, it's in the basement, it's right on the corner of 39th and Chapeau. This is not where he was born, that's far away. - Right on the corner of 39th and Chapeau. But it's in the basement, so just go there and see it. ♪ Feel it ♪ (everyone laughs) ♪ (laughing) ♪ Make it so amazing ♪ (laughing) ♪ (with music) ♪ ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ Down ♪ Up I'm farting ♪ Up I'm farting ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ Down down down down ↓ - Up I'm farting ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ Up I'm farting - (both farting under a blanket) - (laughing) - What is it, it's tiny? - That's what I was thinking. - (laughing) - (harp-like growls) "Down I'm farting -- ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ (both farting) Oh, it was bigger than I thought. ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ (both farting) ♪ Up I'm farting ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ Up I'm farting - ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ (both farting) ♪ Up I'm farting - (laughing) - (both farting) ♪ Farting on Facebook ♪ (laughing) ♪ (harp-like growls) ♪ ♪ Farting on Facebook ♪ ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-like growls) ♪ Down I'm farting ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) (laughing) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) (laughing) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) - (laughing) - (laughing) - ♪ Down I'm farting - ♪ Down ♪ (harp-harp) - (laughing) - (laughing) - (drum roll) ♪ (all shout) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) ♪ (harp-harp) - (laughing) - (laughing) - (laughing) ♪ Farting on Facebook ♪ (laughing) ♪ (I'm moving) ♪ (harp-h ==================== - Today we fart ​- Here we also fart in our underwear. - It's kinda funny. - So, we were gonna fart. We thought it was funny, but we realized it was not fun. - We farted. - It took a lot of, yeah, and we vetted it. It didn't actually, it took a lot of convincing. - So we appreciate your, good work. It's a good job. - Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing. You know what time it is. I'm Steph and I'm Vicki from Port Orleans, Louisiana and it's time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality. - They're through at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. - Click the top link to watch us chase Guinness World Records on Good Mythical More. - And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. - [Rhett] Mythical.com. - [Link] Where is the Mythical.com? We wanna share it with our Mythical crew. - [Rhett] At Mythical.com. Mythical.com. - It's a great way to get a blog post or a video. - At Mythical.com. We know where that is. Now click through to see where we fart on the Mythical TV show, Mythical. - [Rhett And Link] Behind the Mythicality. - [Rhett And Link] And then find out why we're farting LOL. - ♪ (theme music) ♪ - ♪ (encore music) ♪ - Okay, so mythical.com is owned by the Mythical Society and is the largest member site with over 300 members and over 1 million videos, articles, and videos of our videos, articles, and videos is still up at Mythical.com. So I am trying to make it interesting, but not boring to the uninitiated. This is a slushie, and we're gonna be pushing that in the right direction. - We did it. - Don't worry, you're not dying. - Oh, gosh. Okay, let's go. - These are my pee pee and urine. - OK. - Scute. - Pee and urine. - Well, pee and pee, - You're peeing. - So pee and urine. - So it's pee and pee. - Because we are peeing. - Well, pee and urine, I mean pee and urine, - One-two. - But pee and pee. - So pee and urine. We need to pee and pee. Let's do it. Where's it pee and urine? - [Rhett] It's pee and urine, and pee and urine. - It's pee and urine. - The pee and urine. - When do we pee and pee? - [Rhett and Link] At Mythical.com. - It's pee and urine. - [She] It's pee and urine. - [Rhett] Yeah, yeah. - (chuckles) - I don't think it's pee and urine. It's pee and urine. - It's pee and pee. - So it's pee and urine. Pee and urine, pee and urine. - Pee and urine. (laughing) - So pee and urine. - You study this stuff? Absolutely. Yep, definitely not pee and urine. - Yeah, I take a lot of pee and urine in my classes. It's like a house diet. A lot of pee and urine. In school. Good Mythical Morning. - Yeah. - "Come on, boys." - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey. - Hey. - Hey, hey. - Hey. Hey. - Hey. Hey. - Hey. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey. - Hey. Hey, hey. - Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Boy, you're gonna pee. - (chuckles) (laughing) - Guys, and pee and pee. Like pee and urine. - Yeah, piss. - Oh, it's pee and pee. - We've never pee and urine together. - So, we got to pee together. - Yeah, let's pee and pee together. - Yeah, we do that. - So we're gonna pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee. We're gonna pee and pee. Oh, it's pee and urine, our pee and urine. Pee and pee, pee and urine, pee and pee and pee and pee, pee and pee and pee and pee. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - You pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and pee and ====================

[mr-highwayman]

Guilty Conscience

Joe’s screwed. I know it, and he knows it too.

...

“Try giving yourself some time and space, Joe.” Joe’s therapist said, “You shouldn’t let the negativity overwhelm you.”

God, he’s been telling me the same crap over and over again, Joe thought to himself. Is he really worth the time?

“So, did your psychiatrist give you the prescription?” asked his therapist.

Joe mm-hmm-ed in reluctance.

“Good. You know where the pharmacy is. I’ll see you next week.” his therapist said.

Therapists in this city couldn’t care less about their patients. When you have people coming into your office all the time with their disturbing life stories, you could only keep your mind intact through distancing your emotions from your patients, a.k.a not actually caring, and running through pre-written dialogues with them regardless of the circumstances.

Joe got up, walked out of the office door, and got his meds downstairs. His mind was messy as ever, and he could not stop thinking about how shitty his life was. A fourth-year college student at the brink of failing his studies, single, and broke. Fuck, Joe thought. What am I doing with my life?

He took a little detour and headed to a local cannabis shop. He opened his wallet to see a measly $20 bill, and the label on a pack of three joints said $18.99. Fuck it, he thought. I still got a few packs of top ramen in my drawers. I’m not gonna starve.

Joe took a deep breath as he entered his room. The air was heavy, and the carpet smelled like piss and skunk. The vodka juice blends and weed joints had taken their toll on the hygiene of this room. Joe had to restrain himself from gagging when the disgusting miasma crowded his nose. But Joe didn’t care. He grabbed a diet coke from the fridge, cracked it open, and washed down two pills of antidepressants with it. Startled by the sudden chill of an ice-cold drink, he then slouched on his bed and grabbed his lighter.

Click, psst, phew. That’s the sound of a joint working it's magic.

Fuck it, Joe thought.

Click, psst, phew.

Fuck it, Joe thought.

Click, psst, phew.

Now he had three joints in his mouth blasting THC into his lungs. The first two breaths were fine, but the third one split his head open. Then, Joe passed out on his bed. He overdosed.

...

Darkness festered. There was nothing in sight but the endless expansion of the void. Where the fuck am I? Joe thought.

“Where the fuck am I?”

Woah, where did that voice come from? Joe thought.

“Woah, where did that voice come from?”

His thoughts didn’t stay silent. It was being spoken by some unknown voice. He couldn’t even tell the gender of the speaker. It felt like a generic human voice. He’d never heard of it before, yet it sounded so familiar. Before Joe could understand what the hell was going on, a sudden feeling of comfort and safety struck him by surprise. He could sense it, this place was not hostile, neither was the voice. Everything seemed so right, no matter how wrong it felt.

There was no emotion in the voice, and there was no tone. But Joe heard it, loud and clear. He could not identify the source of it, either. The voice was ubiquitous.

A dark figure suddenly emerged from the darkness.

“Joe, you are an idiot,” it said. “You literally had it coming to you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Joe was confused. He was also a little irked by its condescending tone.

“Oh no, my life is a mess, I can’t get shit done, remember? You were telling yourself that,” it answered, “Dude, you did this to yourself.”

“No, I…”

“Shut up, I’m not finished,” the figure cut Joe off, “You’re on student loans, and you use your money, or should I say, allowances from your loving parents, to buy weed. You aren’t broke, you spent your money irresponsibly.”

“Do you realize how expensive it is to live in New York?” Joe yelled.

“Fuck off, you never cook your own food. You eat takeout instead of buying groceries. That’s where the money went. Plus, look at yourself. Those one-dollar pizza slices treated you real good. When was the last time you stepped on a scale?”

“I don’t know, maybe a few months ago?... Hey, I’m not overweight.”

“You aren’t attractive either,” the figure scoffed, “You don’t work out, and you complain about nobody liking you.”

“Gym memberships are expensive, okay? You were literally just talking about money.”

“It’s funny how you can just do cardio without going to a gym but you still refuse to do it. Absolutely costless, if I may add,” it said.

“Okay, it can’t possibly be all my fault,” Joe said, looking away from the figure, “Girls only like 6-pack abs and money.”

“You didn’t even try. You never had the guts to ask someone out. How can you expect results when you never try? Your last date took place during middle school for fuck’s sake.”

“I just know it never ends well.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

…

They kept on going for I couldn’t tell how long. Joe woke up the next morning with an unbearable headache. He was gonna be late. So he went to the 8 am class that he was gonna fail eventually. Don’t ask me why, I just know it. He’s fucked.

Author: Mr. Highwayman

Editor: redmanjc

[gdwessel]

Rumors About Ospreay + Unrest In The NJPW Locker Room; Government Adds Okinawa to State Of Emergency, Another Extension Possible; Quick Review of DSOTR Collision In Korea; Shota Umino News!; Ren Narita on Dark Elevation; Satoshi Kojima In Impact Next Week

Strap in because this is going to be a long one.

There are rumors and reports coming out now (mostly from one source, the Voices of Wrestling website, from behind a Patreon paywall) that Will Ospreay's injury may not be what it seems, and there is growing discontent to the point of "mutiny" among the non-Japanese wrestlers regarding the state of emergency, the last-minute decision to resume touring when some were already travelling out of Japan, and the constant need for quarantining when coming back into Japan. Unfortunately this is as much as I can say, because this is behind a paywall, so until it gets made for public consumption I’m kinda limited in what I can say.

I can totally buy that all is not well within NJPW, especially after the COVID-19 bubble has burst. I've already discussed the creative malaise happening in the company right now. That there seems to be backstage dissent shows possible signs of trouble ahead for the promotion, and this golden period that we've been accustomed to is well and truly over. (I mean, it already was once lockdown happened, but they did the best they could, in my honest opinion, including a Pretty Good if not great WK15. Right now, creatively, we are below 2nd-half 2018 levels of poor.) But NJPW has weathered these storms before, although not with a global pandemic looming over everything. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that Ospreay is indeed injured, because a) they haven't exactly been shy about wrestlers being injured and needing to vacate titles before b) if Ospreay is legit injured, he is far more likely to receive treatment as a citizen of the UK from the (somehow still alive if not totally hobbled by Brexit) NHS, as opposed to Japan's healthcare system which is far more like the US model. Some wrestlers are swearing up and down he is injured, from the rumors. Ospreay certainly hasn’t said anything in his own words, beyond RTing NJPW’s announcement of his injury and vacating the title, and posting a pic of himself kissing the belt. RevPro kinda sorta said something but were also pretty vague. But for an injury suffered on 5/4/2021, this pic posted on 5/18 does not look like someone who just had such a severe neck injury they need to fly back to the UK (mind you, it COULD have been taken much earlier than that). Indeed, Ospreay’s still-active Twitter is more focused on Hana Kimura at the moment*. All this said, professional wrestling by it’s very nature has a baked-in amount of bullshit as part of it, so that this injury might be phony is always a distinct possibility.

It is utterly believable there is conflict between wrestlers and management, and communication is piss-poor at best. It is also believable that NJPW and Bushiroad are only taking their cues from a government Hell-bent on holding an Olympics an overwhelming majority of those polled are against, and who are treating the extended state of emergency as a vague suggestion rather than as a, you know, state of emergency. Pretending everything is hunky dory hasn't worked so far, so not sure why NJPW, nor the Japanese government, think eventually it will. (And NOAH is on my shit list right now too.) On that note, the government has now officially added Okinawa to the state of emergency. There is also talk that it will be extended further, as a government subcommittee member is quoted in the article as saying “it is difficult to think” that it will be lifted on 5/31/2021. Among that talk is word that Tokyo particularly will be under a stricter lockdown if this goes on. On a piece of actual GOOD news, it has been announced that the government has approved both the Moderna and AstraZeneca versions of the vaccine, so perhaps the vaccination rates will start to go up at last.

* - The anniversary of Hana Kimura’s tragic death is tomorrow (5/23/2021). I still sometimes struggle with the idea she is gone. Tonight at 10:30pm EDT (which is 5/23/2021 12:30pm in JST), FITE TV will be showing a live Hana Kimura tribute show put on by her mother, Kiyoko Kimura. Have a look in if you can

I was able to watch the Vice Dark Side Of The Ring episode on Collision in Korea, the two-night joint NJPW & WCW show from May Day Stadium in Pyongyang, North Korea, on 4/28 & 4/29/1995, as it aired Thursday. It will hit YouTube here pretty soon. I am working on a podcast project about this documentary, and the (WCW version of the**) show itself, with the good lads at the Days Of Thunder podcast, so I won't talk too much here, but I will say a few things about it:

I did appreciate the detail here, as well as being able to get an interview with Antonio Inoki for this, especially as he was the principal driver of this show happening. I did also like that they took time to detail Inoki's mentor, and the "father of puroresu," Rikidozan, who himself was a North Korean national by birth. I did not appreciate the mythical pathos they added to the death of Rikidozan, which by all accounts was a random street fight with yakuza over a perceived insult (stepping on Rikidozan's shoe). I also felt they could have done a better job explaining the situation between Japan and North Korea at the time. When the event was first proposed to the NJPW roster, Scott Norton recounts Masahiro Chono telling Norton that "they want us dead," but it took until introducing former CNN foreign correspondent Mike Chinoy nearly halfway through the documentary to (briefly) explain the brutal colonialism that Japan wreaked on North Korea in the first part of the 20th century.

Also, as salacious as DSOTR can get, I am very surprised one of the most famous rumors/stories about this show did not get discussed, the internet wrestling legend that Kensuke Sasaki and Akira Hokuto were, erm, Quite Vocal when they were together, which of course did eventually lead to their marriage four months later which continues to this very day. But that was also part of another critique I had, which is, they mainly focused on the WCW part of the events, when this was an NJPW promoted show. The way it was told on DSOTR, the only Japanese wrestlers there were Antonio Inoki, Shinya Hashimoto, Akira Hokuto and Bull Nakano. I'd love to hear more from the NJPW side of things, besides how proud Inoki was of this political stunt that did not get him re-elected to the Diet anyway.

Overall, I do recommend watching this when and how you can, because it is absolutely bonkers. I will definitely keep you posted on when the podcast project for this drops. ** - I've tried looking for the NJPW version and have failed so far. NJPWWorld only has two matches from this, Antonio Inoki v. Ric Flair, and Akira Hokuto v. Bull Nakano. The WCW version is not officially released, even on WWE Network, so yeah search the internet to see it.

We finally have an update on Shooter! That is, Shota Umino. Earlier in the week, RevPro's official Twitter had a tweet saying This Summer, showing Umino in not only his white/pink Tanahashi-esque tights, but holding his Death Riders jacket from Jon Moxley, that Shota retweeted, making this his first tweet since September 2019. Two days later, a hype video appeared with footage of Shooter, including performing Death Rider. Now a Sports Illustrated article is claiming that Shooter was supposed to have reunited with Mox on the NJPW Strong episode that had Mox & Chris Dickinson face Yuji Nagata & Ren Narita, but Umino had an unspecified injury preventing that. (They further say that Mox v. Nagata’s IWGP US title match was originally set for Strong but Tony Khan convinced NJPW to hold it on AEW Dynamite.) Umino's last match listed on Cagematch was on 3/14/2020 in ATTACK! Wrestling in Cardiff, Wales, on the winning side of a 6-man tag match with Kyle Fletcher & Kid Lykos II defeating Shigehiro Irie, Chief Deupty Dunne & Los Federales Santos, Jr. It's great to have him back wrestling again, and I hope we get that reunion with Moxley soon enough too.

As an update to an item from an earlier post, it appears that the Ren Narita v. Royce Isaacs match that was teased but then not aired on AEW Dark this past Tuesday will actually be on AEW Dark: Elevation this coming Monday instead. Also part of that will be approximately 35 other matches (I only slightly kid), one of those being Rocky Romero v. JD Drake. This usually drops on YouTube at 7pm EDT / 6pm CDT Mondays.

This past Thursday on Impact, a video package showed that Satoshi Kojima would be appearing on next week's episode. This will be Kojima's first time ever wrestling in Impact under any name, as the last time NJPW and TNA were working together, Kojima was still away in All Japan Pro Wrestling. No word as to what he will be doing or whom he will be wrestling.

Also on Impact, Juice Robinson & David Finlay Jr. successfully defended the Impact World Tag Team titles against Ace Austin & Madman Fulton... before getting blindsided by two members of the Violent By Design unit (in this case, ECW veteran Rhino and former AJPW Triple Crown champion + cancer beater Joe Doering) with whatever Impact's version of a Anytime Anywhere Challenge is, and took the belts from FinJuice. They claimed FinJuice were going back to Japan, but, erm, who knows if that's the case or if it was for a time period when Wrestle Grand Slam was still a thing that was happening.

Also also, it seems Don Callis is no longer in any executive capacity at Impact. This is a little significant as it seems it was Callis who opened the negotiations back up for Impact to work with NJPW. Of course, lately he's spent more time as an on-screen heel manager for Kenny Omega, the Good Brothers and now the Young Bucks on both AEW and Impact programming. We'll see how much longer Kenny Omega's belt collector shtick goes on for with Callis no longer part of creative or management.

And that is actually it for now! Yipes!

[blueprintnaturalhealth]

Natural Therapy

Life Instructing 

Life instructing is a totally different calling from guiding, tutoring, treatment or offering guidance. The instructing system tends to all spaces of an individual's life, regardless of whether self-improvement, connections, expert, business or more broad conditions. 

Some commonplace reasons somebody may work with a mentor 

An individual or group may decide to work with a mentor for some, reasons, including however not restricted to: 

Something dire, convincing or energizing is in question (a test, objective or opportunity) 

A hole exists in information, abilities certainty or assets 

A craving to speed up outcomes 

An absence of lucidity with decisions to be made 

Achievement has begun to become risky 

Work and life are out of equilibrium, making undesirable results 

Center qualities should be recognized, alongside how best to use them 

What choices would you say you are not making? 

What is imperative to you? 

What is generally baffling to you at the present time? 

Is it time for you to escape your own particular manner and begin carrying on with the existence you pick? 

Mahatma Gandhi said "The contrast between the thing we are doing and what we can do would tackle the vast majority of the world's issues." 

Food Cutting

Food desires – are treats an award or a revile? 

Do you encounter an extraordinary craving to burn-through explicit food varieties in enormous amounts? 

Is it true that you are eating to try not to communicate your feelings? 

Is eating for solace one of your top choice past-times?

Does the mid-evening glucose fall send you searching for bread rolls or chocolate? 

It is safe to say that you are snared on sugar? 

Is your #1 thing the 'high in calories burger and chips from Oily Joe's important point joint'? 

Food yearnings are also called specific appetite and have little to do with genuine craving, which is a sign from your mind letting you know it needs sustenance. Your hankering is a serious longing for a specific sort of food, and is by all accounts wild. Some examination has shown that longings keep going for around 3-5 minutes. Non-particular yearning is the point at which you simply need to eat anything. 

Your food desires can emerge out of an assortment of reasons, for instance, your mind holds the memory of solace, delight and satisfaction. 

Eating to push down your feelings can set you up for a day to day existence time on that carousel. 

There is the hypothesis that you want nourishment for supplements that are missing, however be cautious with that in light of the fact that there isn't a lot of dietary benefit in bread rolls, chocolates, cakes and baked goods. 

Hormonal unevenness can cause desires, and a few food varieties commandeer the hormonal framework and keep it in that unhealthy cycle. 

Compulsion and hereditary programming can be potential reasons for food longings, and can likewise be the precursor to restoratively named sicknesses. 

Microscopic organisms, infections and different microorganisms like candida (yeast contamination) all feed on sugar, so when you think you need to eat something sweet, it probably won't be your own decision. 

Ideal Recuperating Tips 

Ideal recuperating expects you to rest and permit your body to recuperate, especially as you begin to feel much improved, on the grounds that that is the point at which you are bound to fix the great outcomes you've accomplished up until now. 

Drink a lot of water and add a scramble of lemon juice. This helps the cells to remain hydrated This is of specific significance as of now to get out the poisons from the infection. 

Walk routinely for natural air and light exercise, however nothing too demanding in this recuperation time. 

Eat just new food sources, utilizing straightforward readiness strategies and fixings. 

Trade all quick, fatty, high energy food decisions for healthy food varieties including loads of vegetables. 

Keep taking the cures until each is done. Since the Blood Cycle is 12 weeks it is important to take the suitable cures that help the ideal mending measure for the whole time.

Click Here for More: Blueprint Natural Health

[diabloindigo]

Are you the person to open a box of cereal just to get the toy inside? As a kid yes. Right now, I don’t buy cereals with prizes anymore. Do they even stuff toys in cereal these days? 

Do you get scared easy? If it’s in the anxiety induced variety, yes. 

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? Not sure, it could have been anything from not wanting to wear a fancy dress or dress shoes to a party or a broken toy. 

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? Despite having a working dishwasher and plenty of glasses, I “waterfall” milk and juice from the containers. 

Juice or milk? I go both ways, leaning more towards juice. Apple or orange. 

Do you ever turn off your computer properly? Once in a while. 

Do you wish you were a fish? Not really, though I kinda envy the blue Dory (Doctor Fish?) in the tank at my gynecologist’s waiting room. It likes to swim to the bottom of the tank and ride up to the top on a bubble jet. That damn fish has probably had more fun than I have in the past several months. 

Who’s your favorite super hero? Invincible (Amazon Prime). Along with Spider-Man (2002) and the Big Hero 6 movie, that character/series is a rare superhero show that makes me feel strong and vulnerable at the same time. 

Who’s your favorite super villain? Slade Wilson/ Deathstroke as seen in “Teen Titans: The Judas Contract” animated movie and the 2003-2006 “Teen Titans” cartoon series. 

Spiderman or X-men? Spider-Man. Tobey Maguire and Peter B. Parker from Into the Spiderverse. 

Movie theatre or stay at home movie night? Theaters. Alamo Drafthouse. I love ordering boozy milkshakes and finger foods.

Do you have a Blue Ray? I have one of those external drives for my Mac though I never use it. 

How about HD television? Yeah

Do you think HD television is kind of a waste of money? No. 

Do you get why people get so frickin’ freaked out during football season? I do not, and living in a state with a hard-on for (American) football makes it weird when I tell people that I do not have a favorite football team/player. 

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I don’t sneak him food. If I cook or order too much to eat, then I scrape a couple of cup’s worth of leftovers in his bowl. He’s probably got only a year to live so let him live it up a little. 

Are you reading a book right now? If so what? A friend gave me a copy of “The Only Good Indians” but I can't get into it so I’m reading “Full Throttle” by Joe Hill. 

What was the last book you were required to read for school? It’s been so long I can’t remember. 

O donuts or jelly filled? Whipped cream filled. I love Krispy Kreme’s whipped cream filled donuts with raspberry filled donuts as a close second. 

If I’m feeling bland then I do like crullers. 

Do you like your ice-cream in a bowl or cone? Bowl unless it’s a tasty cone. 

Marshmallows in your hot chocolate or no? I could go either way unless it’s a tiny cup of chocolate. 

Do you like cherry coke? Hell yes. I love going to Sonic for a cherry-vanilla-lime Coke or this greasy little 1950s type burger joint for their cherry cokes since they load the cups with several cherries. 

Do you really think diet Dr. Pepper is the equivalent of a cupcake? No, it tastes artificial. Like a bastard child of a soft drink that wants to pass for cherry soda. 

Do you snore in your sleep? Drool? Talk? Snore and talk (I’m pretty stressed out).

Have you ever sleep walked? no

Are you a morning person? I am now. 

How do you wake up in the mornings? by alarm during the work week, naturally at 6-7 on vacation days. 

Do you think guyliner is hot? What is that? 

Is variety the spice of life? yeah

Do you think strawberry milk is disgusting? I like it. 

Have you ever drank after anyone? Like sharing a cup/bottle? Yeah, loads of times.  

Have you ever drank after anyone you don’t know very well? No. 

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after?

If we’re talking about sharing, then I will share food/drink with family and friends. If someone offers me bite-size pieces that are individually wrapped or can be torn off the main portion, I’ll eat it, but only from co-workers or acquaintances. 

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? No. 

Would you chew somebody else's gum? Hell no. 

Do you know anyone who’s going to die of mono because of that? No. 

Do you enjoy school? My English and psychology classes. 

Are you a teacher’s pet? no

Do you have a job? Yes. 

How did you get to and from school? Parents drove me or I walked for elementary through high school. I drove when I went to college. 

Do you have a bedtime? And if so what is it? I’m in bed between 11-12 a.m.

What time do you get up? 6 am so I can walk/exercise before the sun boils the earth in full force. 

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yeah in college. 

What’s more important? Beauty or brains? brains

Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. 

Did you ever want to be an astronaut when you were little? No. Being a veterinarian or scientist were my highest ambitions as a small kid. 

How about the president? Never. 

What did you want to be when you were little? Veterinarian, scientist, cartoon character. 

Did you ever want to be a super model? no

Do you believe you’re attractive enough to be a super model? No.

Have you ever had an X-ray? Several in the past few months for pre-surgery and dental work.

What’s your favorite guy’s name? What’s your favorite girl’s name? Guys’: Shane, Mark, Tadashi, Austin, Cade, Trip.

Girls’: Quince, Sienna, Amy, Kit, Lizzie (Elizabeth), Raven.

Who’s your second cousin’s, grandparent’s, sister? The fuck...

Do you laugh to yourself whenever the ketchup bottle farts? No, in fact, I get annoyed when other people hear it and ask me if I farted. 

Do you have any real guns in your house? I have several. 

Do you know how to use nunchucks? No, I bought a pair at one of those Asian imports emporiums, but I donated them since I never learned to use them. They were these crappy foam padded ones with dragons printed on the handles. 

Do you know anyone who can use nunchucks? No. 

What do you want to be next Halloween? In better health and not shitting bricks about using up my paid time off to go to doctors’ appointments. 

Did you ever consider getting a job as a mall Santa? No. I’d rather be one of his elves or a reindeer. 

Are you the one responsible for taking out the garbage? Yes. Grosses me the fuck out sometimes with smelly discarded poultry trays or rotten food, but somebody’s gotta do it. 

Do you recycle? My city has the blue recycling bins, but I heard that since we’re an ass-backward community, “recyclables” and trash all go to the same place. I just place recyclables in the blue bin to help clear up space in the trash bin. Maybe I’m wrong and this city does recycle? Can’t hurt. 

When I was 11, I’d collect empty soda cans to take to the recycling guy since back in the day, they’d pay for aluminum cans. That’s how I scraped up funds for dollar movies and hot dogs. 

Are you a pyro? Yeah. I carry/collect Zippo lighters but mostly because the “click-click” is satisfying to hear since I flip the lids open and closed to relieve stress. And I burn a lot of old bills and letters with sensitive info on them. 

What was the last word/thing you wrote down? I was researching high fiber foods that are also low in carbs to make a grocery and dinner meal plan. 

Sleeping or eating? After my surgery, sleeping. 

Are you overall a positive person? I try to be realistically positive, if such a thing exists. The world will never be all sunshine and My Little Ponies, but I try to find some comfort and positivity when my world is a shit-show. Filling this survey out kinda helps. 

Do you hate hypocrites? Yeah, especially the “do as I say, not as I do” types. 

For instance, a certain family member is pushing good diet and health habits, but it aggravates the hell out of me if I see him drinking high sugar iced tea or eating ice cream. Or Door-Dashing Burger King, even if it is a Beyond Whopper with a diet Coke. 

Do you like to prank people? Yes, but I do benign pranks like leaving dirty riddles and meme drawings on their front doors. 

What was the worst prank you’ve ever done on anyone? I tried fucking with a telesolicitor but I could not stop laughing. 

Have you ever jumped on a trampoline in the ice? I don’t own a trampoline. 

Have you ever ice skated? No. I tried once after a local minor league hockey game. I got the skates on, but my ankles were bending/bowing out so I changed my mind.

Ever water skiid? No. 

Is vacuum spelled funny? Yes. 

Democrat or republican? I don’t associate formally with either party, but I hitch my pony a little to the left. 

Who’s the biggest asshole you know? My former boss circa 2013. Very unprofessional and a veritable loudmouth and a poor (shit) showman wannabe. 

Pen or pencil? Gel-ink pens. 

Should all paper have holes? nope

Speaking of holes. Swiss cheese, what’s the point of that? Fewer calories? Spinning slices in my hand like a TV cowboy spinning his revolver in the trigger guard with his finger? 

Have you ever been in a helicopter before? No. 

Own any airbrushed tshirts? Nope, not even in the nineties. 

Have you ever been suspended? No. 

Have you ever been in a fist fight? A few playground fights as a kid. 

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Yes. 

Do you forgive too easily? I don’t think so. 

What are you listening to right now? The AC running. 

Have you ever seen any of MCR’s music videos? Nope. 

Are you tan? No. 

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. I have no desire to look like a Cheeto or woo skin cancer. 

Have you ever played water volley? Once at my uncle’s neighborhood swimming pool. 

Ever had a sunburn? Yes, from neglecting sunscreen re-applications or underestimating the sun. 

How about wind burn? It hurts….. Nah, I don't live in a cold enough climate for that. 

What was the first word you learned how to say? I think it was “mama.”

[megalony]

Brothers and love- Part 6

Here is the next part of my Ben Hardy series which I hope you are all enjoying so far, there is a lot of angst in this part. Feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me

Series taglist: @takemetoneverland420

Summary: Ben’s brothers Joe and Gwilym and their dad Roger try and help him through his addictions that have stopped Ben from being able to look after his daughter. When (Y/n) becomes involved with the family, she vows to help Ben get custody of his daughter and finds herself falling for him along the way.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why?"

That one word forced a question upon (Y/n) that she simply couldn't answer truthfully unless she wanted to hurt everyone close to her. If she answered that then everything would turn to pot and she would hurt them all. But if she didn't give an answer he would accept then he wasn't going to let this go and having no answer was something that wouldn't settle well in his heart.

But what was she meant to say?

There was no way that (Y/n) could tell Gwilym she was ending their relationship because of Ben. The two brothers didn't get along as it was, telling the eldest that she was leaving him for the youngest would cause an even bigger rift between them that she never wanted to cause in the first place.

Part of (Y/n) didn't want to be doing this, she didn't want to leave Gwilym because she did have feelings for him, but they simply weren't as much as the feelings she was developing for Ben. Staying with Gwilym wouldn't be fair on any of them because it would be like she was stringing him along when she wanted to be with Ben and she couldn't continue to cheat on Gwilym because that was cruel to him. Not to mention it was screwing with her own mind and it wasn't going to do Ben any good either.

(Y/n) remembered an old phrase that was sticking in her head now like glue. If you're with someone but fall for someone else, go for the second one because if you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second. If her feelings for Gwilym were strong enough, she wouldn't have fallen for Ben but she did and this game wasn't fair.

"I... I just can't do this, Gwil. I'm so sorry." (Y/n) pressed her lips together as she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. There was no way she could give him the answer he was asking for but she couldn't lie to him either.

"That's not good enough, you have to have a reason for this." Gwilym's words made (Y/n) shudder because they were just like the words Ben had spoken to her when she wanted to help him.

Ben needed a reason for her to help him or he would have felt too paranoid about why she was helping, he didn't believe in people helping others out of the goodness of their hearts. Everyone had their reasons. And Gwilym knew there had to be a reason for (Y/n) to suddenly decide that she didn't want to be with him anymore. She wouldn't just wake up and think this wasn't what she wanted, there had to be a reason behind this and he wanted to know what it was. But (Y/n) couldn't tell him.

"I don't think I'm right for you."

A shiver ran down (Y/n)'s spine as she remembered the exact words she had told Gwilym one week ago. It was the truth, it wasn't a lie because she knew she wasn't right for him. He deserved better than someone being with him, cheating on him with his own brother and realising that she felt more for his brother than him. She truly cared for Gwilym, but her feelings were more like what she was feeling for Joe, she wanted to be a good friend to him but a relationship wasn't what she was feeling. That was how she felt towards Ben.

Tipping her head down, (Y/n) stared at the glass in her hand as she took a deep breath, trying to rid the memory from her mind, just for today. Today was about Ben and she wanted to keep it that way and keep a smile on her face for his sake.

Ben had one more week to wait out before social services came round and decided his and Hazel's fate. They had to stay strong for him and everyone was trying to get him through this. He had stayed a few nights with Joe and was now staying with (Y/n) so he wasn't alone because Ben knew being trapped alone in his head was something that always tripped him up.

But today they were at Roger's place because Ben was having a visit to see Hazel so his mum and (Y/n) and Joe had come round for the day. They were trying to make the atmosphere relaxed because they weren't hanging around to keep an eye on Ben, they were trying to give him support. Now that Gwilym had arrived, (Y/n) suddenly felt out of place.

She was the odd one out because she wasn't family even though Joe insisted she practically was now. (Y/n) also knew that Gwilym was confused the moment he saw her because he didn't know why she was here, in his mind she didn't know Ben at all she only knew Joe and there was no reason Joe would invite her since it wasn't a party or social occasion.

(Y/n) kept her eyes on her drink so she wasn't looking over at Gwilym, but her gaze kept wandering to Joe stood a few feet from her and he nodded his head, reassuring her that she was meant to be here.

Ben loosely wrapped his arms around his knees that were brought up to his chest, a smile on his lips as he leaned his back up against the sofa. His head turned to the right to look at his dad who had Hazel sitting on his lap and Ben's smile widened when Hazel reached her small hand out towards his hair. He leaned his head closer so she could tug on his hair that she seemed to have a fascination with and as he did so, his eyes wandered over to (Y/n). His smile softened and seemed to look more childish and there was some sort of silent message in her eyes that made her heart flutter in her chest.

After all the times she had seen him high or drunk or broken, all of those memories felt like dreams when she saw Ben with Hazel because he looked like there was nothing wrong at all when he was with her.

When Ben's eyes drifted back to look at Roger when he started to speak, (Y/n) walked out of the lounge and headed into the kitchen to get herself another drink. She could engage in the conversations and it had felt calming and like she was meant to be there until Gwilym turned up, then she suddenly felt like a stranger or an outsider.

"Why are you here?"

(Y/n)'s head snapped to the left as she turned off the tap when Gwilym's voice hit her ears. He didn't sound angry, he sounded confused but his words were just the tiniest bit harsh. He kept dipping his head down, not able to maintain eye contact for very long.

"Joe asked me to come along, why are you here?" (Y/n) didn't want to be rude but she couldn't help the snarky remark that left her lips before she could stop herself. Gwilym didn't get along with Ben and that was okay, not everyone got along well with their siblings, but he couldn't act like he should be here when he hadn't done anything to help Ben get to this point. He dragged along for the ride but he didn't do anything to contribute.

"You don't know him, he's my brother I'm here to see how he is-"

"It's not me you have to convince." (Y/n) brought the rim of her glass to her lips as she attempted to walk past Gwilym, a saddened look on her face as she knew she had crossed a line. But his hand grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away and it took all she had not to choke on the juice she was trying to swallow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's Ben you have to convince that you care because up to now you haven't exactly shown him anything but doubt." (Y/n) turned away from Gwilym and pulled her wrist free from his hold so she could go back into the lounge.

(Y/n) sat down on one of the sofas next to Joe whose eyes darted between her and Gwilym who walked back into the room and sat down on the vacant armchair opposite them. (Y/n) shook her head at Joe with a look that told him everything was okay, she didn't want this gathering to go up in smoke because of her or anyone else.

Her eyes looked over at Ben who now had Hazel sat on his stomach, leaning back against his knees as a bright smile flooded the little girl's face as she started to giggle and coo and Ben.

"So, do we know what day they're coming round to see you yet?" Marlene smiled as she looked over at Ben whose head turned in her direction. It was clear she was talking about the social services but they hadn't told Ben yet what day they were supposed to be coming round to visit his flat and then see him interacting with Hazel. He didn't care what day they came round, he didn't care if they turned up unannounced, he just wanted them to come round and get this over with so he could have his girl back with him as soon as possible.

"Not yet, but I have to go to the doctors on Tuesday." Ben had to be checked out to say that he was physically and mentally capable of having Hazel back and he needed blood tests done so they could see if he had consumed any alcohol or any drugs recently. If he'd had a drink it wasn't the end of the world but if he'd had a lot of drinks or had any drugs it went against him which was why they wanted him as clean and sober as possible.

"What happens if they find out you've smoked?"

Ben's smile slipped from his face instantly and was replaced by a look of uncertainty and wariness as he looked at Gwilym, wondering why he would say something like that? Ben's eyes darted around the room before looking back at his eldest brother who looked so serious like he truly thought Ben was going to have bad results.

"T-then it goes against me, but I've been clean for three weeks now so it'll be fine." Ben didn't count the one joint he smoked when he was with (Y/n) last week because it was insignificant and he didn't even finish it. That surely wouldn't come up on the tests and if it did there would be the smallest trace of it still in his system so it wouldn't matter. He was clean and he was determined to stay this way so he could have Hazel back home with him again.

"You honestly think you can get her back?" Gwilym sounded so interested and he looked like he was about to smile in disbelief which caused the atmosphere to change dramatically. He thought Ben was delusional for believing that he was going to get Hazel back.

The look on Ben's face showed he was starting to panic because he didn't know what to do or what to say. He didn't want to lose his temper but he didn't want Gwilym to continue goading him like they were children taunting each other. This wasn't fair, he couldn't come round and do this to Ben when this was meant to be a happy occasion with their family, it wasn't right.

Joe's eyes burned into Gwilym's as the look on his face hardened and told his brother to stop it but his message wasn't read.

"Boys, that's enough." Roger warned as he ran a hand over his chin, praying not to have another outbreak but it was always the same. Ben had his problems and Gwilym was at the stage where he had had enough. He didn't think helping Ben was worth it whether that was because he thought of himself as better than Ben or simply because he couldn't be bothered, Roger didn't know. But he knew that they were never going to get along in the way that Ben and Joe got along.

"Why don't you think I can do it? Why can't you have some faith in me?" Ben didn't object when his mother leaned down and took Hazel from his arms so she could take her granddaughter out of the room. They didn't need Hazel getting distressed if an argument broke out.

"Because you're an addict, you have been since you were fifteen. Do you honestly think you can just give up the drink and all the stuff you smoke and ignore the urge to take them? Hazel isn't enough to make you stop, she never will be." Ben had been on and off abusing substances since he was fifteen but it was when he was nineteen that he really started to drink and smoke and it was then that it became a problem for him. Gwilym knew that old habits died hard and he had seen how desperate Ben could get, he didn't believe Hazel was ever going to be enough to stop him from getting that desperate.

"You don't know me! You don't know what it's like to have a child, she's everything to me and I'm gonna get her back." Ben crunched his teeth against one another as his jaw jutted side to side to try and control the anger he was feeling. Gwilym didn't have kids, he didn't know how much Hazel had changed things for Ben and he didn't know what it felt like to be separated from her like this. She was more than enough to get Ben to stop and Ben was going to prove it.

"You must be high right now to think social services would give her back to a twenty-one-year-old addict whose longest streak of being clean is two months! You're not getting her back because you can't commit to her-"

Gwilym didn't get to finish the spiteful words he was saying before he was knocked down by Ben charging at him. The moment he was on the floor, Ben pummelled his fist into his brother's jaw so hard he heard it clicking like it had been knocked out of place. Ben rose his fist to strike his big brother again but he didn't get the chance. Three pairs of hands grabbed at him from all directions, pulling his fist back out of the way, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling at his torso to get him off of Gwilym.

Ben slumped back onto the floor but he kicked and flung his arms out when Joe and Roger pulled him across the room so he wasn't in danger of lashing out again.

Reaching up behind him, Ben grasped onto Roger's arms to help haul himself to his feet as both of them watched Joe storm over to Gwilym who was leaning on the armchair for support when he managed to stand up.

"Get off your fucking high horse and look at this through his eyes for once in your life Gwil. When he was eighteen you gave up on him and I did too because I went off to America and dad couldn't control him. No one offered to help him and you shunned him when he had Hazel because you're a snob at heart and you think he's beneath you because you're precious and never do anything wrong. When he gets support he gets better and he's clean but you don't give a fuck."

Joe bashed his fist into Gwilym's chest effectively knocking him back a few paces as tears welled in his eyes.

They had all let Ben down at some point or another. Ben had started the ball rolling by getting into drinking and drugs at a young age but he wasn't supported or helped when he needed to be, they could of all gotten him out at some stage but no one stepped in quick enough. Joe was off finding his role in society and finding status as an actor, Gwilym was close to home doing the same but he believed Ben should get himself out of this mess. And Roger didn't know how to handle Ben when he was in a rebellious stage or when he was broken and unsure of what to do so he only got worse.

Ben needed help and support now and Gwilym needed to give him that or get out of his life. Joe wasn't letting his little brother down again and Roger didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

Shrugging himself out of Roger's hold, Ben wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand before he turned and stumbled out of the room. He didn't want to sit and listen to an argument happening because of him, that was a situation he had been in too many times before and it was one that never ended well. He'd listened to his parents fighting about why he was smoking at fifteen or why he was drinking when he was sixteen or heavily pissed when he was eighteen. He'd heard Joe and Gwilym fighting hundreds of times before and he'd heard Roger and his wife arguing when Roger said he was having Ben stay with them and that was final.

He didn't want to be the cause of the trouble anymore.

"Ben! Ben don't leave." Ben's eyes snapped closed the moment he started to walk down the drive when he heard (Y/n)'s voice following after him. His mind was telling him to walk but his heart had stopped his feet from shifting from where they were sunken into the gravel.

Ben opened his eyes when he turned around to face (Y/n), but when she reached out to touch him he pulled away. He wasn't even that upset, he always knew Gwilym was never going to believe in him like Joe did but he still allowed it to hurt when Gwilym made his views known.

"I'm okay." The words were sincere but his expression didn't seem to be following what he was saying and (Y/n)'s saddened eyes told him so. "You think it's the first time I've heard that shit? I've been a nuisance from the moment I was born because I'm not meant to be here. I almost ruined dad's marriage and I messed up Gwil's life, not to mention how it made mum feel. Having Hazel is the one thing everyone's been proud of me for, it's the one thing that keeps me going, I'm not giving up yet."

Ben was an accident, as soon as he learned to talk he knew because he was always the outsider. He caused problems with Roger's marriage, he upset Gwilym because it caused a rift between his parents and made his life harder. Ben knew it must have hurt his mum because she was the mistress of a rock drummer who had his child, that was a headline that didn't go away overnight. Ben had a lot of problems he had to deal with growing up but when he had Hazel, he saw the look in his parent's eyes and it was one he fell in love with. He saw how Gwilym smiled and patted him on the back and said he suited being a dad.

Hazel was the one thing Ben was living for right now and he wasn't letting her slip away from him easily. Gwilym's hurtful views weren't enough to push Ben back to drink because he wanted his daughter more than he wanted to wallow in self-pity.

Reaching up, (Y/n) wrapped her arms around Ben's neck and pulled him towards her for a hug. There wasn't much that she could say in response to that but she didn't think words would be enough. She wanted to show Ben that she understood, that she cared and she believed in him just as much as Joe and Roger did because that was what Ben needed to know and he had to be shown instead of told.

"Come on, you need to get back to Hazel." (Y/n) rubbed her hands up and down Ben's arms, smiling when he rested his hand on the side of her face so he could gently pull her closer and kiss her temple. A calming smile tugged at (Y/n)'s lips as she held onto his arm but her eyes narrowed when she felt his hand tense against her face and his lips stayed against her temple for just a little too long.

Pulling her head back, (Y/n) looked up at the blond but his reddened eyes were looking straight ahead of him with an expression she had never seen before and couldn't work out. When (Y/n) turned around to see what he was staring at, her blood ran cold.

"Is he the reason you left me?"

[rocklandhistoryblog]

Motel on the Mountain, 1977 Memory

CLIPPED FROM The Philadelphia Inquirer Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  06 Oct 1977 

‘GAYLA OPENING’ OF UNIQUE MOTEL

By Richard Ben Cramer Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Writer

HILLBURN, N.Y. - It was, on the whole, not the standard world premiere. The men in the crowd, for example, tended less to black tie and more to gold lame with high-heeled pumps.

Still, it was quite a partying night, and Beth and Frank Cavallo were feeling great. They had left their two-year-old daughter at home and had traveled with two of their friends, Jay Young and Bill Hiller, to the Gayla Opening of Motel on the Mountain, a homosexual resort in Rockland County, N.Y. on the way to the Catskills.

Now, in the wee hours, with everybody loose, Frank celebrated by giving Bill a big kiss.

Beth, bemused, looked on. She is straight but tolerant. She learned to adjust when Frank "came out" shortly before the birth of their child, Jennifer.

Anyway, Frank still likes "fish," as gay men call women, and to prove it, he pulled his wife toward him, and soon she was entangled in his arms and Bill's with everybody trading kisses around.

On the dance floor at the front of the disco room, one of four rooms provided for the opening-night crowd, a man and a man who looked like a woman were dancing belly to belly while strobes revealed their-movement in a series of dramatic stills.

Another mannish form, attracted by the dance, leaped into the light and danced up behind the womanish form until the sandwich was moving through the crowd in perfect synchronization.

From the end of the bar, in a straight three-piece suit, Tommy Esposito squinted through the smoke and flashing lights at the crowd near the stage and smiled a small smile of private satisfaction.

Tommy is straight. ("I'm not gay, I'm Italian," he says.) And until this weekend, he was the proprietor of a hotel and resort property that seemed headed for collapse.

The Motel on the Mountain built 22 years ago overlooking the New York State Thruway, was at the time the wonder of this small community, about 45 minutes from mid-Manhattan by car.

Its clever landscaping in the Japanese style and engineering that gave every room a view of the large wooded valley below won the motel several architectural awards.

But the motel has been going downhill, so to speak, since Esposito acquired control four years ago. Twice during those years, preliminary bankruptcy papers were filed. The complex looks a little down at the heels.

That is all past now, according to Esposito, who expects the Motel on the Mountain to be a trend-setter for other resort properties, a crucial breakthrough in the social liberation of homosexuals in America and, most important, a tremendous commercial success.

He paused in the task of erecting new signs ("Gay Life at Its Peak," they proclaim) at the bottom of the winding road up the mountain, to put the event in proper historical perspective.

"Hey, we're living history now," he said. "A place as famous as Motel on the Mountain? A gay resort? This is a sociological breakthrough."

His own motivation was not sociological.

"Well, put it this way," he said. "Summer of 74, I called the Summer of American Graffiti good name, huh? The movie was just out, you know, and I had all the biggest oldie names in the business the Drifters, the Orlons, everybody . . . Didn't work.

"In 1975, I open up with a dinner theater, the Roar of the Greasepaint. ...Didn't work.

"In 1976 . . . Variety Showcase . . . ventriloquists, magicians, comedians, everything. . .. Didn't work.

"So, I said, 'Hey, -why not?' You know?"

On the main street of Hillburn, an inconspicuous valley town of inconspicuous charms, W. S. Jones, 62, was remarking in front of the fire hall that he sure to heck knew why not and he just didn't know why it had to happen to Hillburn.

“Tell you the truth, I think they're all sick," said Jones, a retired postal worker. "That's just my opinion, but I know one thing. If it'd happened back a few years ago, when all the big people were here, the big church people, it never would've even got a foothold."

Jones' opinion was echoed by most in a joint town meeting for the residents of Hillburn and Sloatsburg, a neighboring village.

"If we don't stop these people from getting a foothold right now, it will be too late," said Sloatsburg resident Robert Latke. "They'll be running up and down the streets of our village, flaunting it."

Hillburn's Mayor Brian Miele, who runs the 1,100-person town's business after teaching his school classes for the day, said that he did not know if a law existed to prevent the motel's conversion.

But he and about 25 other Hillburn and Sloatsburg residents showed up at the Gayla Opening last weekend with picket signs that read "Queers Go Home" and the like, in an effort to decrease the turnout for the night.

About 25 gay patrons came down from the lounge to stage a counterdemonstration at the bottom of the motel's entrance road, and for a while it looked as if the situation might get ugly. A plea from Esposito to his customers and the arrival of the Rockland County Sheriff's Department avoided trouble.

Now the residents of the town say that they want to bring in Anita Bryant, the singer and orange-juice peddler who helped defeat a local Florida ordinance preventing discrimination against homosexuals.

"Let her come, oh yes," said" Allan Ross, the motel's new consultant on gay affairs.

Ross, who was talent scout and master of ceremonies for the Gayla Opening, thought that the first night was "fabulous, oh definitely fabulous."

In his red ruffled shirt, red pants and red high-heeled shoes, he looked rather fabulous himself. From the back of the stage, he introduced a series of female impersonator acts mimicking Bette Davis, Barbra Streisand, Pearl Bailey and Diana Ross.

The crowd around the stage, dressed in a lot of satin and leather, capes and hats, mostly colorful and mostly quite tight, cheered and called out unprintable remarks. Most stayed until 3 or 4 a.m., and most said that they would be back.

At the end of his act, the Sophisticated Silhouette of Diana Ross - Leslie London dressed in high heels and a divine scarlet sequined see-through gown, said that he would definitely be back.

After seven years in the business, he knew he would rarely see a crowd of 1,500, and so sympathetic!

"Oh, I've played sweet sixteens," he said, wrapping himself around a young Manhattan boy, "rock 'n' roll revivals, bar mitzvahs . . ."

Bar mitzvahs?

"On Long Island, darling, of course."

_____

We are pleased to share this piece of 🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ History in honor and recognition of PRIDE month.

_____

This event was the subject of a chapter in Joe Kennedy’s book “SUMMER OF '77: Last Hurrah of the Gay Activists Alliance.”  

[easyfoodnetwork]

From the Strategist: 21 Best Grilling Gifts for Every Type of Grilling Enthusiast

Photo: ClassicStock/Getty Images

All the grills and grilling accessories a grill master could want, from the Strategist

At its most basic, grilling is cooking on an open flame, like what our prehistoric ancestors used to do, but if you’re not the kind of person who takes pleasure in lighting charcoal on fire and then cooking big slabs of meat on it, you might be struggling to find the best grilling gifts for someone who does. (Though even self-described grill enthusiasts sometimes need help finding an actually useful but still unique grilling gift.) So to make it easy, we rounded up 21 of the best grills and grilling accessories that would be excellent gifts for the person in your life who likes to fire it up.

For the griller who struggles with lighting charcoal

BBQ Dragon Cordless Grill Fan in Silver

Jean-Paul Bourgeois of New York City’s Blue Smoke calls the BBQ Dragon, “a fire starter’s best friend. This easy-to-use little gadget will clip onto any grill or smoker and assist you in getting those coals burning fast and evenly.”

For the griller who mostly cooks with charcoal

Panacea 15343 Ash Bucket With Shovel, Black

If anyone plays a little fast and loose with the disposal of coals, or wants a safer way to do it, this steel ash bucket will help prevent accidents. As Hugh Magnum, pitmaster at Mighty Quinn’s Barbecue, explains, “It sometimes takes as long as two days for coals to be completely cold, so you don’t put any coals for at least two days into a trash bag, or else that trash bag will go up in flames.”

For the griller who’s terrified of burns

Artisan Griller Insulated Cooking Gloves

Writer Caitlin M. O’Shaughnessy was introduced to these pit gloves by her mother, who used them to take a full turkey out of the oven. “The cotton-lined gloves are coated with neoprene rubber and designed for true-blue barbecuers who have to handle hot meat on the smoker — that means they’re also waterproof, stainproof, and (most importantly) greaseproof.” They also come recommended by Patrick Martin of Martin’s Bar-B-Que Joint in Nashville, who actually prefers these heavy-duty gloves to tongs, especially when working with big cuts of meat, like whole hogs.

For the griller who’s looking to streamline

Stingray 7 in 1 BBQ Tool

Swap out the tool kit for this 7-in-1 grilling tool, recommended by self-described “pretty competent outdoor griller” Steven John, who calls this “the Swiss Army knife of grilling equipment, combining all three tools and even sporting a bottle opener built into its handle.”

For the griller who loves steak

Sloan Personalized Miniature Steak Branding Iron

For Valentine’s Day, writer Leah Bhabha gifted her carnivorous boyfriend a personalized branding iron, purchased on Amazon, and it was an instant hit. “We’ve now emblazoned his initials on everything from ribs to rib eyes, and even busted out the brander for cast-iron cooked burgers (the patty’s initials were covered by the bun, but he liked it so much he branded them anyway).”

For the griller who prefers chicken

Two-in-One Vertical Chicken Roasting Pan

Nick Pihakis of Jim ’N Nicks Bar-B-Q in Birmingham, Alabama, calls this chicken-roasting contraption “one of the best ways to cook a chicken. Not only is upright roasting the optimal position to roast a chicken (fat drips away, heat surrounds the chicken 360 degrees, skin crisps up better), this cooking method allows the steam and vapors to flavor the chicken from the inside cavity out, helping it to stay moist.”

For the griller who’s also a hibachi enthusiast

Elite Platinum EMG-980B Large Indoor Electric Round Nonstick Grilling Surface

If dinner has become a bit of a slog recently, consider setting up a hibachi or Korean barbecue night and using this highly rated indoor grill to do it. Reviewers on Amazon say, true to advertising, it’s truly non-stick (so feel free to go all in on your marinades) and is just as effective at grilling vegetables as a grilling a sturdy ribeye.

For the griller who’s not sure what to do with vegetables

Sur La Table Stainless Steel Grill Basket

Steven John recommends a grill basket, “that can be placed atop any sort of grill (charcoal, gas, or even wood fire) and filled with loose veggies, shrimp, fries, and so on.” It keeps these more delicate ingredients from sticking to the grill’s grates, and, as John notes, “the grate’s cleaner, too.”

For the griller who over-checks their meat

Thermapen Mk4 Thermometer

A meat thermometer is a must-have accessory for a barbecue enthusiast to quickly and easily ensure that meat is fully cooked but not overdone. And for my money, there’s no meat thermometer better than the Thermapen. As I wrote in my review of this gadget, “What makes the Thermapen stand out from other digital kitchen thermometers is its speed and accuracy. According to the manufacturer’s website, this food thermometer can tell the real-time temperature of whatever you’re trying to measure within 0.7 degrees Fahrenheit in under three seconds. That speed makes a noticeable difference when you’re balancing a roasting pan on a hot oven door as you try to take the temperature of whatever’s inside without burning yourself or letting out too much heat,” or dealing with a hot barbecue grill. (And I’m in good company. The Thermapen also comes recommended by Amy and Mike Mills of 17th St. BBQ in Murphysboro, Illinois.)

For the griller who’s getting into marinades

Boiled Cider Syrup

In his roundup of the best condiments you can buy on Amazon, writer Hugh Merwin recommends this boiled cider, which is “kind of pure apple essence,” he explains. However, that sweetness makes it an excellent addition to a barbecue tool kit. “Grillmasters use it at the base of marinades, where it tenderizes meat and its mildly tart and subtle flavor blends in with wood smoke.”

For the griller with a small patio

Fire Sense Large Yakatori Charcoal Grill

Recommended by Leslie Roark Scott of Ubon’s Barbeque in Yazoo City, Mississippi, this large yakitori grill is ideal for those in a “tight space. It’s the perfect size for a couple of steaks, and holds heat like a champ.”

For the griller with no patio

Weber 10020 Smokey Joe

If you’re looking to gift a truly portable grill, for someone who dreams of grilling in Prospect Park, the Weber Smokey Joe is a classic choice. It’s a no-frills option, but it’s got the same durability as the larger kettle-style Weber grill.

For the indoor grill enthusiast who hates smoke

Philips Indoor Smokeless Grill

We discovered this indoor smokeless grill while watching Queer Eye on Netflix, and it’s a solid option for someone who wants to grill but is constrained by the realities of living in an apartment. It uses infrared light to heat the grill and help prevent smoking from dripping fat.

For the indoor grill enthusiast who doesn’t want another gadget

Lodge Pro-Grid Cast-Iron Grill and Griddle Combo. Reversible 20 x 10.44” Grill/Griddle Pan With Easy-Grip Handles

Though it’s more likely to smoke up your kitchen, this cast-iron grill plate from Lodge is “the indoor grill that’s closest in spirit to firing up the charcoal.” (Plus, because it’s essentially a flat piece of cast-iron, it’s much easier to store than a new appliance.)

For the griller who likes that smoky taste

Z Grills ZPG-7002E

As Steven John explains, “a pellet grill is a barbecue grill that uses an automatically fed supply of wood pellets to maintain a preestablished temperature and infuse the cooking foods with smoke aroma and flavor. Your fuel source is also your smoke source.” That means your meat takes longer to cook, but it’s also got more smoky flavor, and in his testing of pellet grills, John liked this one from Z Grills, in part because “you can load up enough wood pellets for hours of smoking with minimal refills required.”

For the griller who wants to go full pitmaster

Masterbuilt MES 130B Digital Electric Smoker

On a long hunt for the “best, not-too-massive city grill,” Lauren Levy discovered that the best barbecue grill is actually this digital smoker from Masterbuilt. That’s according to Myron Mixon, the winningest man in barbecue, who explains, “It’s a digital smoker, so you can actually punch in the temperature you want and it takes you right there from 100 degrees to 275 degrees in just a few minutes.” He continues, “The truth is, everything that someone would want to barbecue you can cook with the Masterbuilt smoker, and it’s much more delicious.”

For the griller who likes to cook low and slow

Akorn Jr. Kamado Kooker

The first rule of Grilling 101: Leave the meat be. But when you’re constantly worried about your provisions burning that can be difficult to do. That’s why the grilling enthusiasts of Amazon love the Akorn Jr., a ceramic, kamado-style grill that does an excellent job of maintaining low temperatures. Plus, it’s about a tenth of the price of the popular, kamado-style Big Green Egg grill.

For the griller who tries to keep their grill spotless

Drillbrush BBQ Accessories

I’ve written about the Drillbrush as the best tool to keep my shower clean, but the company makes different brush attachments with different stiffnesses for different purposes, like this barbecue accessories set, which can be used to detail-clean even the most grease-stained grill.

For the griller who likes to grill and chill

YETI Roadie 20 Cooler

“When you’re smoking whole hogs, you can’t go for a beer run, so you need a good cooler that’s going to keep your beer cold for the night,” wisely notes Patrick Martin of Martin’s Bar-B-Que Joint. That’s why he recommends a Yeti cooler to keep by the grill. “I guarantee when you reach for a beer, it’s gonna be good and cold — just like it should be.”

For the griller who likes to carve meat

John Boos Block BBQBD Reversible Maple Wood Edge Grain BBQ Cutting Board With Juice Groove

This sturdy Boos block has a juice groove to catch any liquid that might come out when carving a big hunk of barbecue. (And this gift certainly doesn’t have to be retired once grilling season is over. It’ll also come in handy at Thanksgiving, when it’s time to carve the turkey.)

For the griller who likes eating barbecue more than cooking

Messermeister Avanta 4-Piece Fine Edge Steak Knife Set

Once they cook the meat, they’ll need something to help you eat it, and that’s where these Messermeister steak knives come in. “There’s a curious delight in using these very, very sharp steak knives to bisect a morsel of beef (or pork, or chicken, or whatever flesh you have lying around),” writes Katie Arnold-Ratliff in her ode to these. “The blade slices through the steak with tactile precision — a kind of buttery, slippery ease that makes me say every time my boyfriend and I use these knives, which is a lot, ‘Man I love these knives.’”

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2BbdFk9 https://ift.tt/2XwN1ti

Photo: ClassicStock/Getty Images

All the grills and grilling accessories a grill master could want, from the Strategist

At its most basic, grilling is cooking on an open flame, like what our prehistoric ancestors used to do, but if you’re not the kind of person who takes pleasure in lighting charcoal on fire and then cooking big slabs of meat on it, you might be struggling to find the best grilling gifts for someone who does. (Though even self-described grill enthusiasts sometimes need help finding an actually useful but still unique grilling gift.) So to make it easy, we rounded up 21 of the best grills and grilling accessories that would be excellent gifts for the person in your life who likes to fire it up.

For the griller who struggles with lighting charcoal

BBQ Dragon Cordless Grill Fan in Silver

Jean-Paul Bourgeois of New York City’s Blue Smoke calls the BBQ Dragon, “a fire starter’s best friend. This easy-to-use little gadget will clip onto any grill or smoker and assist you in getting those coals burning fast and evenly.”

For the griller who mostly cooks with charcoal

Panacea 15343 Ash Bucket With Shovel, Black

If anyone plays a little fast and loose with the disposal of coals, or wants a safer way to do it, this steel ash bucket will help prevent accidents. As Hugh Magnum, pitmaster at Mighty Quinn’s Barbecue, explains, “It sometimes takes as long as two days for coals to be completely cold, so you don’t put any coals for at least two days into a trash bag, or else that trash bag will go up in flames.”

For the griller who’s terrified of burns

Artisan Griller Insulated Cooking Gloves

Writer Caitlin M. O’Shaughnessy was introduced to these pit gloves by her mother, who used them to take a full turkey out of the oven. “The cotton-lined gloves are coated with neoprene rubber and designed for true-blue barbecuers who have to handle hot meat on the smoker — that means they’re also waterproof, stainproof, and (most importantly) greaseproof.” They also come recommended by Patrick Martin of Martin’s Bar-B-Que Joint in Nashville, who actually prefers these heavy-duty gloves to tongs, especially when working with big cuts of meat, like whole hogs.

For the griller who’s looking to streamline

Stingray 7 in 1 BBQ Tool

Swap out the tool kit for this 7-in-1 grilling tool, recommended by self-described “pretty competent outdoor griller” Steven John, who calls this “the Swiss Army knife of grilling equipment, combining all three tools and even sporting a bottle opener built into its handle.”

For the griller who loves steak

Sloan Personalized Miniature Steak Branding Iron

For Valentine’s Day, writer Leah Bhabha gifted her carnivorous boyfriend a personalized branding iron, purchased on Amazon, and it was an instant hit. “We’ve now emblazoned his initials on everything from ribs to rib eyes, and even busted out the brander for cast-iron cooked burgers (the patty’s initials were covered by the bun, but he liked it so much he branded them anyway).”

For the griller who prefers chicken

Two-in-One Vertical Chicken Roasting Pan

Nick Pihakis of Jim ’N Nicks Bar-B-Q in Birmingham, Alabama, calls this chicken-roasting contraption “one of the best ways to cook a chicken. Not only is upright roasting the optimal position to roast a chicken (fat drips away, heat surrounds the chicken 360 degrees, skin crisps up better), this cooking method allows the steam and vapors to flavor the chicken from the inside cavity out, helping it to stay moist.”

For the griller who’s also a hibachi enthusiast

Elite Platinum EMG-980B Large Indoor Electric Round Nonstick Grilling Surface

If dinner has become a bit of a slog recently, consider setting up a hibachi or Korean barbecue night and using this highly rated indoor grill to do it. Reviewers on Amazon say, true to advertising, it’s truly non-stick (so feel free to go all in on your marinades) and is just as effective at grilling vegetables as a grilling a sturdy ribeye.

For the griller who’s not sure what to do with vegetables

Sur La Table Stainless Steel Grill Basket

Steven John recommends a grill basket, “that can be placed atop any sort of grill (charcoal, gas, or even wood fire) and filled with loose veggies, shrimp, fries, and so on.” It keeps these more delicate ingredients from sticking to the grill’s grates, and, as John notes, “the grate’s cleaner, too.”

For the griller who over-checks their meat

Thermapen Mk4 Thermometer

A meat thermometer is a must-have accessory for a barbecue enthusiast to quickly and easily ensure that meat is fully cooked but not overdone. And for my money, there’s no meat thermometer better than the Thermapen. As I wrote in my review of this gadget, “What makes the Thermapen stand out from other digital kitchen thermometers is its speed and accuracy. According to the manufacturer’s website, this food thermometer can tell the real-time temperature of whatever you’re trying to measure within 0.7 degrees Fahrenheit in under three seconds. That speed makes a noticeable difference when you’re balancing a roasting pan on a hot oven door as you try to take the temperature of whatever’s inside without burning yourself or letting out too much heat,” or dealing with a hot barbecue grill. (And I’m in good company. The Thermapen also comes recommended by Amy and Mike Mills of 17th St. BBQ in Murphysboro, Illinois.)

For the griller who’s getting into marinades

Boiled Cider Syrup

In his roundup of the best condiments you can buy on Amazon, writer Hugh Merwin recommends this boiled cider, which is “kind of pure apple essence,” he explains. However, that sweetness makes it an excellent addition to a barbecue tool kit. “Grillmasters use it at the base of marinades, where it tenderizes meat and its mildly tart and subtle flavor blends in with wood smoke.”

For the griller with a small patio

Fire Sense Large Yakatori Charcoal Grill

Recommended by Leslie Roark Scott of Ubon’s Barbeque in Yazoo City, Mississippi, this large yakitori grill is ideal for those in a “tight space. It’s the perfect size for a couple of steaks, and holds heat like a champ.”

For the griller with no patio

Weber 10020 Smokey Joe

If you’re looking to gift a truly portable grill, for someone who dreams of grilling in Prospect Park, the Weber Smokey Joe is a classic choice. It’s a no-frills option, but it’s got the same durability as the larger kettle-style Weber grill.

For the indoor grill enthusiast who hates smoke

Philips Indoor Smokeless Grill

We discovered this indoor smokeless grill while watching Queer Eye on Netflix, and it’s a solid option for someone who wants to grill but is constrained by the realities of living in an apartment. It uses infrared light to heat the grill and help prevent smoking from dripping fat.

For the indoor grill enthusiast who doesn’t want another gadget

Lodge Pro-Grid Cast-Iron Grill and Griddle Combo. Reversible 20 x 10.44” Grill/Griddle Pan With Easy-Grip Handles

Though it’s more likely to smoke up your kitchen, this cast-iron grill plate from Lodge is “the indoor grill that’s closest in spirit to firing up the charcoal.” (Plus, because it’s essentially a flat piece of cast-iron, it’s much easier to store than a new appliance.)

For the griller who likes that smoky taste

Z Grills ZPG-7002E

As Steven John explains, “a pellet grill is a barbecue grill that uses an automatically fed supply of wood pellets to maintain a preestablished temperature and infuse the cooking foods with smoke aroma and flavor. Your fuel source is also your smoke source.” That means your meat takes longer to cook, but it’s also got more smoky flavor, and in his testing of pellet grills, John liked this one from Z Grills, in part because “you can load up enough wood pellets for hours of smoking with minimal refills required.”

For the griller who wants to go full pitmaster

Masterbuilt MES 130B Digital Electric Smoker

On a long hunt for the “best, not-too-massive city grill,” Lauren Levy discovered that the best barbecue grill is actually this digital smoker from Masterbuilt. That’s according to Myron Mixon, the winningest man in barbecue, who explains, “It’s a digital smoker, so you can actually punch in the temperature you want and it takes you right there from 100 degrees to 275 degrees in just a few minutes.” He continues, “The truth is, everything that someone would want to barbecue you can cook with the Masterbuilt smoker, and it’s much more delicious.”

For the griller who likes to cook low and slow

Akorn Jr. Kamado Kooker

The first rule of Grilling 101: Leave the meat be. But when you’re constantly worried about your provisions burning that can be difficult to do. That’s why the grilling enthusiasts of Amazon love the Akorn Jr., a ceramic, kamado-style grill that does an excellent job of maintaining low temperatures. Plus, it’s about a tenth of the price of the popular, kamado-style Big Green Egg grill.

For the griller who tries to keep their grill spotless

Drillbrush BBQ Accessories

I’ve written about the Drillbrush as the best tool to keep my shower clean, but the company makes different brush attachments with different stiffnesses for different purposes, like this barbecue accessories set, which can be used to detail-clean even the most grease-stained grill.

For the griller who likes to grill and chill

YETI Roadie 20 Cooler

“When you’re smoking whole hogs, you can’t go for a beer run, so you need a good cooler that’s going to keep your beer cold for the night,” wisely notes Patrick Martin of Martin’s Bar-B-Que Joint. That’s why he recommends a Yeti cooler to keep by the grill. “I guarantee when you reach for a beer, it’s gonna be good and cold — just like it should be.”

For the griller who likes to carve meat

John Boos Block BBQBD Reversible Maple Wood Edge Grain BBQ Cutting Board With Juice Groove

This sturdy Boos block has a juice groove to catch any liquid that might come out when carving a big hunk of barbecue. (And this gift certainly doesn’t have to be retired once grilling season is over. It’ll also come in handy at Thanksgiving, when it’s time to carve the turkey.)

For the griller who likes eating barbecue more than cooking

Messermeister Avanta 4-Piece Fine Edge Steak Knife Set

Once they cook the meat, they’ll need something to help you eat it, and that’s where these Messermeister steak knives come in. “There’s a curious delight in using these very, very sharp steak knives to bisect a morsel of beef (or pork, or chicken, or whatever flesh you have lying around),” writes Katie Arnold-Ratliff in her ode to these. “The blade slices through the steak with tactile precision — a kind of buttery, slippery ease that makes me say every time my boyfriend and I use these knives, which is a lot, ‘Man I love these knives.’”

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