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littleroaes · 7 months ago

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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, tbz

PAIRING ⏵ ( 2nd pov, you ) fem!reader x lee hyunjae, lee juyeon, ji changmin, kim sunwoo, eric sohn

at the last two weeks before the semester; your younger brother leaked your old love letters. when you return to university, you work as a part time assistant for the hockey team. the charming crush of your youth has read your letter and makes a deal to not spread it if in return, you'll be his fake girlfriend for the upcoming house party. that night sets off an event with all five letters.

GENRE ⏵ FLUFF, college!au / university!au, setting around 2013 ( 2010s!au ), 2000s!au ( childhood ), to all the boys i’ve loved before!au, summer!au, some angst since we do only have one end game, childhood friends2lovers, hockey player!hyunjae, playboy (with a soft side)!hyunjae, short fake dating!au side plot, boy next door!eric, frat!eric, rich kid!eric, flirty but shy!sunwoo, old summer love!sunwoo, reader is an medical assistant, lots of pining, mutual pining, cats!!!, nerdy oblivious juyeon, literature major!juyeon, history major!changmin, changmins bad at sports (sorry bub), 3 different types of parties!, a pool party, a house party, a beach party (i don’t even like parties irl!)

WARNINGS ⏵ reader is good at sports ( volleyball ), hyunjae is a little mean/ manipulative at the start, reader gets drunk twice, sunwoo once ( oufff ), swearing a few times ( fuck, shit ), some jealousy, bad dancing (specially from reader), reader's zodiac sign is a capricorn (for a joke), kissing, pet names ( angel, princess ), proofread once ( i feel like ive forgotten something but hope not😭 )

WORD COUNT ⏵ 19 k

playlist i listened to while writing

this is my fic for @deoboyznet the love letter collective event ! if you specifically want to know which members will have more romantic storylines and who reader will end up with; i have written it out at the end of the post! ( if it being your bias is important for reading ex ). though all five will have cute/ flirty moments with reader! i changed to 2nd person pov for no reason😭 i hope you don’t mind here’s a 500 word teaser before commitment ( it’s in 3rd pov for now! )

like and reblog are highly encouraged !

01 . CHAPTER ONE

IMAGINE THIS; ONCE UPON A TIME, FATHER OF YOURS SAID THAT TO SCOUR THE EVIL THOUGHTS OCCUPYING YOUR YOUNG MIND, ONE ONLY HAS TO WRITE LETTERS. What a magical solution to all the finite problems of youth! That’s what you thought even as you started to come of age and the inevitable falls of love. Each time, when your innocence was consumed, little by little, by the harsh realities of romance; you spit it out on a piece of paper, enveloped it, stored it in a box (extra security measures) and sheltered underneath your bed.

And now, you’re in university. Back home for the last two weeks before the autumn semester. Laying against the bed–it reeks of school mornings of 2005–and still holds those letters beneath. The pink hues on the pillows are still there, maybe a little washed out. All butterflies stickers from magazines are plastered on furniture that shines, just slightly, when the sun goes down underneath the neighboring roofs, lucent through the open windows.

You’ve hung out with Eric, a childhood friend. Bicycled down the gravel paths fenced in lines through houses. Side by side, always trying to one up the other like you always did. Take a swim in the same lake, in the same spot those old pictures show. Like those days; the sun never falters until it all stands on the edge between diagonal roofs.

And amidst your childhood lies your younger cousin. Bare arms touch each other as you lie side by side with feet over the pillows, and noses –the paper box of letters. She told you about a longing crush she has for a boy in the parallel class. When overconsumed by nostalgia; you couldn’t refrain from dusting off the old box. And that’s how you ended up back with the letters you swore to withhold.

There are five of them.

The first one is Lee Jaehyun, a three year older popular student who you had a trivial crush on in middle school ( together with everyone else). In all honesty you didn’t know much about him; just that he was cute looking. There’s a sort of emotional torment in recalling the one sided adoration while leaned out the school window to see him play football. Even his name haunts you still in uni as your roommate had a crush on the shining hockey player the entire two semesters.

In short, everyone liked Lee Jaehyun.

Next is Eric Sohn, your childhood friend, the boy next door, even first love? He has many titles you realize. He lived in an impressive house north from here, one that hosts many parties every time his parents take the trip to their summer resort. At some point, it felt like he knew every kid in town. Luckily, you have never been the jealous type. Despite being each other’s ride or die since ten, you never confessed the secret ways you looked at him back in the sandbox.

Third is Sunwoo–just Sunwoo; you never got his last name–from summer camp who you even ( jokingly ) got married to. Your first summer at thirteen, away from parents, with kids the same age. When recalling it all back, that summer feels as if taken out of a movie, and you fell head first, three meters deep with the boy. Sunwoo always stood in the center ( bad and good…mostly bad tbh ). You got paired up for the kayak; it pissed rained and your coordination couldn’t take you ten meters. But you remember every word he said as butterfly inducing nonetheless. After that, at night you snuck out of your cabins to watch the stars. And when that summer too ended, you swore your heart shattered into million pieces.

The fourth is Lee Juyeon, a boy you had never seen before until his cat got pregnant by yours. Scuba Steve ( long story ) had been gone for some days until another family came up to their door with him. For half a year, it felt like you saw Lee Juyeon everyday. He was just as enchanted by kittens as you ( if not more ) and you two would visit each other just to cuddle with them. The teenage heart used to rush with the mere presence of him and together you named all the kittens��until they were sold off. Then they eventually stopped seeing each other. Though he still lurks around as a poet’s ghost around campus ( source Eric ).

The last one, Ji Changmin, the son of your mother’s friend. He teached you calculus for a while in high school. To be fully transparent, you didn’t learn much from him that year because all you did was leaning on the kitchen table while adoring him until the rims of his glasses slipped. He always scolded you endearingly when you didn’t listen ( which was the majority of the time ). Ji Changmin always wore cute polos with neat pants–now when thinking about it, mother might have approved if you got together. But it’s too late. He went to uni; and simply left you with a newfound thing for glasses ( still wearing cute polos in uni ).

And that’s all. You sometimes wonder if it was a mere symptom of youth that resulted in those letters. Since uni–outside a campus crush or two-–that compelling yearning for someone has never come back.

Eventually the bird’s cease to sing once the sun swallows entirely by the horizon, and cicadas can be heard through the open windows. You leave the letters as the two of you close the door. Mother asked if you and your cousin wanted to go with the rest of the adults down to the green field at the center of the neighborhood, you said yes.

When the heavy door shuts against the frame, voices from your younger brother’s room at the highest floor seeps through the windows.

( next morning )

“Mom, you haven’t seen some letters?” You stand at the stairs to look down the kitchen counter where mother and your brother turn from the pantry light.

“Three’s blue and two pink envelopes?” You ask again.

Mom shakes her head, “No, I haven’t?”

You sigh, sprint up the second floor.

“Y/n?”

Call of your name echoes through the frame into your room. To look over the bed and see your younger brother centered at the white rectangle. His fringe like curtains reluctant to open as he looks elsewhere. You come up completely.

“What?”

“The letters…”

Your ears perk up, “You’ve seen them?”

“No, I took them…” He says guilty and starts tearing off paint from the wall.

“The guys wanted to prank you yesterday, we sent them, I’m really sorry.”

He looks up again, “But I told them to not do anything more.” He reassures, but his voice trails off as you neither alienate or sigh at this confession. Eyes, lifeless as the posture in your arms hanging off your stale corpse.

“You did what?” You ask; wishing you heard incorrectly the first time and he crashed a vase instead.

“We sent your letters..” He says hesitantly with eyebrows knit.

You close your eyes. Take your hands up your face to cup it and breathe in. Autumn semester starts in exactly 13 days and you know at least half of the letter receivers attend. And definitely all five live in the city.

To breathe out, hands fall in your lap. He cocks an eyebrow at what one could guess is a meditation session before you open your eyes.

“I’LL KILL YOU!”

02 . CHAPTER TWO

( tuesday afternoon )

The letters were out; an existential dread running on two bags of pure sugar surged within you. A sensation you were oblivious to existed. First week went, and you hoped the mail man had fallen over and left the letters on the highway, doomed to get run over til their unreadable. But those wishes perished the very moment Eric Sohn came chanting underneath the window. The characteristic bird chimes and mowers intertwined in green leaf rustle; his voice echoed through open glass. You told mom not to tell him you were here; that you had already taken the train to the city.

Destiny was in your favor for once, and your mother did lie when Eric came to the front door.

So far, none crossed fate with the receivers of your letters has ensued. Eric was the only established friend in your life, hence you held yourself far, far away from any business major hot spots. Though, just after achieving three days. The first afternoon at the start of your part time; rulers leave you forced to stare eye to eye with receiver number one.

“This is Y/n, she will work as your athletic trainer assistant for this semester.” The trainer lifts hands to his side to make it even clearer than it already was. It is damn cold beside the ice rink–which you thank god for since your face would be blistered red otherwise. As he presents for all tall men in thick layers of hockey protection, they stare; you’re left to make a timid jazz hand motion with a strained smile.

“I’m Y/n.” Hands fall back to your side and concentrate all might to look at the other eight people–not the one to the right.

“She will be helping me with equipment and aid; so you’ll see her around a bit.”

The players wave past you in turn; to introduce themselves in a mere identical manner. The last name pains deeply as you pretend to find shoelaces loose.

“Jaehyun.”

You can’t see his expression, not even when eyes come up. Only his back covered in blue jersey greets you as he steps off the plastic flooring and onto the ice.

Though, it is an immediate opportunity for breathing room when all players go to practice. The plastic walls become solid and you look over the formations on ice. Maybe you got yourself free from this one? Maybe Hyunjae also thought it was so damn awkward that it’s easier to ignore it. You hope deeply while taking off one glove, as sultry temperatures rise beside the rink.

Followed by the 30 minutes of relocating equipment around the center, the next time you come back into the ice hall, the trainer greets you with sweat outlining his sideburns. You knit your eyebrows before taking eyes off him and onto the player in navy; halting out the rink. Turns out Coach yelled two different instructions, followed after one another; which resulted in a collision of two players.

He tells you to take him, who limps to the clothing rooms. By immediate compliance you approach his silhouette; leaning on the plastic divide. You can’t make out the exact expression as he faces the ground, but when you ask him if he needs help walking. That horribly handsome face from your childhood looks up. Breathing heavily, but smiles through the fringe.

“Yeah.”

You purse your lips into a thin line. To force sight away from him. You look at the entrance to the ice hall while taking his arm over your shoulders. Come to the clothing room after taking off his ice skates. The two intentions of your own conscience fought while walking. Nothing would be more awkward than looking at him again, on the other hand, the concern over his weak state is true as the continuous breath sounds loudly beside your ear.

Hyunjae’s now on the bench before one side of the lockers. He watches attentively as you round the sport’s bags to take the first aid kit on the other side. The ventilation is the loudest thing in the room. At some point it becomes bothersome as you hold his clothing. You haven't made eye contact since the rink, but senses his gaze fixed over your scalp.

He talks suddenly.

“You know Y/n, I got your letter.” He says while looking down at your hand; securing the bandage around his ankle.

Fuck.

Fingers stale from suspension for a moment on the bandage edges. The material loses around his ankle and you force it towards you.

A sigh, still looking down, “Listen; it was my br–”

“It’s appreciated Angel, but it will never happen.” His lips curve higher at one opposite edge, leaving his eyes on you with pleasure like he knows something wrong.

You let go off his legs; weight from your hands fully on your knees as you observe–rolling your eyes.

“I know, okay.” You breathe in, “What I was about to say was; my little brother sent it, it was not meant to be seen by you.” Another sigh before you force yourself up from the floor; coming in greater height than Hyunjae.

“Also; I wrote it when I was like 11.” To turn to the first aid kit, “So don’t get your ego too high, Ice God.”

“Sure, if that’s what you say, Angel.” Hyunjae takes his palms on the bench surface; leaning against the locker. Arch of his lips might rewrite your life when he proceeds to stare.

“Why do you even call me that?” You return to the opposite side and cross arms; to perceive him roughly as if to build similar strain in him. But it leaves to no avail.

“Why?” He quotes, “You’re sitting here healing us, our team’s little angel.” He shrugs his shoulders.

You look away as to not blossom of rose pigment–instead start organizing the materials in the aid kit.

“Either way, Jaehyun. You can go now, it’s done.”

No length of his voice waves via the dead locker ocean. After eyes set on the sections of the green bag; you glance at his bench. And to make you uncertain, his white bandage leg is still in frame. After you pull the zipper and leave the kit in your lap; you stare at Hyunjae who, with the usual smile, stares back.

“I said you can go…” Quietly and tilt your head towards the door.

“I know.” Hyunjae voices in the same tone as before.

You side eyes him still and sits up.

“I have a deal. Would you like to hear it?” He says suddenly, causing a rupture across the room and stacked tension weighing on your shoulders.

“Okay…” There’s an uncertain principle, written like a formula over your expression, layered in your voice.

“You go with me as my girlfriend for Jeno’s party this Friday.” He says monotone.

The first aid kit frees from your hands. Eyes drifting between two points and you’re left looking eyebrow knit at him two meters away. Then, forced to turn when he smiles contempt. You swiftly bend down to take the aid kit before returning gaze. Hyunjae sees in center of two bags hanging; your lips sunder to shove down the offer. Right through the concrete to the core mit.

“--Or else I’m putting up your letter for the whole campus to see.”

You immediately shut sealed and eyelids folds half over the curvature. He smiles so hard it borders on comical. And with his arms crossed over his jersey, you only wait for them to fall and see him burst out laughing; tell you he got you. But the silence prevails your thoughts and you start to believe he’s actually serious.

“I don't believe you.” You look tired at him.

“No, I’m serious.” Hyunjae still nonchalantly crossed armed and slack raised shoulders.

As another passage of ventilation comes through, beckon time like the minute visor. You finally sigh and sit down at the bench again.

“Why even me? Can’t you just ask someone else?” Frustration over the seemingly complex idea for a deal when he could make it ten times easier for himself.

His expression falters for a second after the question. Hyunjae holds his lips sealed; unaltered high posture cause he hesitates to give away his shortcomings. But on the other hand, just a little empathy might do it.

“I’m actually in a bad position, Angel.” He leans forward, voice quieter.

“Everyone knows I’ve got a girlfriend, but she broke up with me before the semester. They want to finally see her, but I got none” He pauses and leans his chin on his hand and pouts a little, “--just you.”

The withered corners of your face perks slowly up as he ends his sentence. Hyunjae smiles harder, believing he a white winged victory, but it disappears the very second you laugh in his face. Your back comes against the support of the bench while eyelids close to the bottom of laughter.

“She dumped you?” Hands gather in your knees.

“Too bad, too bad.”

It’s Hyunjae’s turn giving stale eyes. Though, just as fast; he gathers himself back and leans onto the lockers again.

“Yeah, is it a deal or not, Angel?”

You breathe in and look at him still. Hyunjae is more foolish than his appearance gave off, you don't have faith in first impressions. He might as well scan your lost letter and create a chain mail across campus. Partying wasn’t on your list for the first weekend of the semester, but maybe you could get away with lurking against the wallpaper?

You swing your left foot and finally look back at him, “Okay, deal then.”

Hyunjae smirks.

“Just this, then we're equal. No grudge, no obligations.”

“Sure.” He nods.

You tilt your chin down, “...I don’t trust you, Jaehyun.”

He lets his hands up, “Look, I’m keeping my promise. I told you my dirt too.”

“Like not having a girlfriend is as embarrassing as a love letter written in 2002.”

( friday evening )

“Okay, should we go in then?” You take a step forward but get pulled by the shirt. Shoulders come up against him and the arm sleeve of his clothing folds against your nape.

From your first encounter until Friday; you were forced to persevere through charming–bordering on foolish–remarks. The weekend prophesied as projection on the glass entrance that Friday. And it shattered the very moment Hyunjae’s voice echoed from the changing rooms. That he’ll wait for you outside the women’s dormitory. With not a twitch in own expression, he disappeared behind the frame with a wink.

One of your two roommates was also invited to the house party. The thought of having someone else other than ice god settled some relief. But as you stood waiting in the summer heat of night; the first bus went and fifteen minutes later, you saw a familiar silhouette to the left of the stairs you sat on.

He didn’t say anything when you refused to sit up and just glared tired at him.

“What’s with the face, Angel?” He had asked laughing lightly, “We’ll miss the bus.”, you are forced to stand.

“You’re late, Ice God.” You muttered and started walking towards the bus stop. Hyunjae ran up beside.

Both talked while the streetlights behind the glass window became all the more distant. Though, it didn’t become hopelessly quiet, as it was a loud friend group behind. You cursed your half sleeve arms when Hyunjae didn’t know the way to Jeno's house from the bus stop. Forced to traverse between bushes when he pointed at mindless directions. Swore that he knew the “shortcut”. And ants might as well have climbed up your toes and into your underwear.

Now, as either stands before the three stairs and the entrance door in the midst of the front yard. You're pulled against his chest (still covered in leaves).

“Not so fast.”

Though he’s out of peripheral vision; the self satisfied tone at every articulate visualizes his smile. His hands like a thin veil across your shoulders–you take a step back from them, to face him fully.

“Okay then? What’s the plan, Ice God?” You cross arms to build some fence–to match his pride. But either only shares an instant of eye contact before you press your lips and look towards the sad flowers hidden in the corner.

Hyunjae has always enjoyed teasing people. Of course, a bit apprehensive to strangers, but nonetheless; he waits no time to poke at the first friend closest in sight. He himself has probably no thought about it, but he has a thrill for watching people’s reactions. You were no different. Like the sun; secret behind the trees, it’s always so obvious. You were flustered by his turns of nicknames and comments; so much that you feel to defend your blemished garden. There’s something endearingly professional about you, he thinks.

“You have a lip balm or something?” He cocks an eyebrow.

You look at your belongings; eyes looking as narrow threads when apprehensive. To wait for his signature laughter but instead nods his head. You roam around the bag; hands helping to widen your vision, but not enough to notice his fingers below the tender sprout against your head. You look up to see him with one of your two hair clips. Curious what he’ll do; you try no fence when he sets it on his fringe.

“Now I’m yours.” He smiles.

Hyunjae comes down to you slightly before returning; taking his eyes off and onto the entrance before brushing past your shoulder. Because of the evening shades, the red pigments on your cheeks withers out with skin as you look behind your shoulder to see Hyunjae’s figure let the deafening conversations from inside, out. He doesn’t look back towards you, and you knit eyebrows before taking double steps up the stairs and into the house.

With one step you push yourself off the wallpaper; feel shoulders brushing up against your own as the living room opens.

Hyunjae held your hand for the first half an hour. He then let go when something happened between the friends (you didn’t know). But even then you tailed after like some home cat. Though, as anxiety arose after seeing a group of Eric’s friends in the same room, you cautiously backed into the corner. Some stranger did the rest for you when they collided with the table and Jeno’s grandma fell lid first and shattered on the floor. It became a bit quiet when poor grandma(s ashes) laid there, all spread out.

After Jeno panicked and some helped clean up; the chamber of incomprehensible conversations started again.

There’s cliques scattered between the couches. You reach on high toes to see past all the height and hair to locate the frame you came in from. Soon you fall back to your heels, just as the chorus waves through the walls. The crowd suddenly opens up before you when two people walk away. You’re left still and see the open door to the hallway. Shoulders come down in height just as you breathe out. Relieved to take a step to finally leave; but your feet barely touch the wood until eyes widens and air asphyxiates in your throat.

At the end of the high walls; Eric stands half a meter from the door frame. A lamp shines from behind him, lightning up his half body. Like the sun; he becomes the very essence of the narrow square.

You turn in a desperate attempt for survival. This season heat and packed building; it all bends backwards through the grass field in all four directions.

Immediately you see diagonally behind, a staircase up to the second floor. You don't even look back to Eric before colliding with someone's back and sprint up. There’s no lighting up the wooden stairs, just Earth’s wailing moon through the pier glass.

All those voices–through speakers or chords–wanes like the full to crescent moon month.

There’s closed doors around. It burns pace from behind and you take the handle of the door left to the stairs. Without letting it open even half way; you slip past the glimpse and lock it shut.

You lean close to the door; feel the cold wood on your left cheek. The party’s over on this side. Like the melancholic memory of falling asleep to the adults in the other room.

When you expect nothing; a clear voice from behind reiterates peculiar sentences.

Not strong enough to take your chin off the door; you look past your shoulder to see someone in the bathtub with a damned annotated book.

It takes about three seconds from first contact until the bathtub guy flinches, “Ah!?”

“Oh my god!” Your eyes widen while your shoulders contract as wings.

It echoes between the tiles when his book lands on the bathtub floor. To face the sudden him, distressed; your hands come up in height with your wing like bone.

“Sorry.” You deadpan.

“No, it’s okay.” He answers, soft spoken. Eye contact stays fleeting as his fringe–like curtains–falls before the mirage window when he reaches for the book. He mends the awry strands into place; scour the wordy dimensions to where he left off.

You recall his soft silken halo. Hands come down to its sides and you lean off the door. Like a main character from an academic tale; he looks deeply dreamlike–always somewhere else. The guy feels your presence still as above the title cover; his eyes peeks.

At this point, you look at him with wide eyes horror; ready for him to either aristocratically roast your fourteen old writing, or condense into second hand embarrassment and hide under the bathtub.

Lee Juyeon sits in the damn bathtub of a house party.

As you’re deep in fourth dimensional torment; Juyeon speaks first.

“Oh, Y/n.”

He smiles, still holds the book before him.

You refuse to move, “Hi…Juyeon.”

“That was a long time.” He switches between your eyes and the next sentence.

The tension in your frame aids in turn for every second. Juyeon doesn’t mention any letters, but still, you eye him suspiciously.

“Yeah.” You agree awkwardly.

“Why are you here?” You ask.

Juyeon pauses in sentence once again to shift his fringe and look up. You had nearly forgotten the patterns of silence and speaking he so often followed. Back when they always met; they spent so many seconds simply waiting for him to talk.

“I would ask you the same thing.” He sort of tilts his head attentively.

With your lips pursed instead of answering, you look to the mirror above the sink. Water in delicate droplets dive in while he turns the next page.

“Escaping things?” He asks, still reading.

You nod.

“We all do.”

You see him through the mirror reflection. His eyes bent like a faint wave from shore; reassures her lone presence.

As he closes off himself again; you figure he doesn’t mind their shared space. There’s no sign of knowledge about your letter. Juyeon always reeked of innocence, so maybe you’re wishing.

But Eric’s still one floor below (taking the safe option).

You take a seat on the bathtub edge. Shoulder faces Juyeon who leans his back on the discolord cream white tiles. .

“Should I read something for you?” He asks soothingly.

You hesitate before letting your hands comfortably down the edge, “Okay.”

“You want some?” He reaches out the green glass bottle.

Your shoulders scoff when your mind affirms, “Thank you.”

Juyeon asks suddenly, “How’s Scuba Steve?”

Truly the only thing left that protects from not spitting out the alcohol is embarrassment. You do an expression tainted by drinks or unease, and let the bottle down your lap.

To wonder how in the passage of all years; Juyeon recalls your insignificant house cat that mated with his own (or maybe it’s not that weird when you think after).

There’s a sort of foolish–bordering on stupid–touch in your chest that he actually never forgot Scuba Steve. One could guess we live on, assuming we’re the only one that remembers.

“Oh, he’s dead.” You deadpan.

“Oh.”

The room reaches–what resembles closest to silence– in a house party. Both their lips are pressed in thin lines as they view the tiles above each other again.

“You then?” Silence starts to torture you briefly in your fingers.

“How’s…” Your face contracts in parallel to the ceiling when scattered bleached cuts from that black little cat sleeping on his floor.

“Mindy?” He says.

“Oh, Yeah.”

They both laugh.

“She’s still alive.” He lets the book down for the first time (excluding the jumpscare), “She’s with mom and dad. Though she's getting very old now, she eats less and doesn’t even go out anymore.”

As they sat there talking about cats and poetry; eventually the boundary past the toilet door ceases. You didn’t leave that end of the bathtub (aside from running down the kitchen with Juyeon for more alcohol).

Now they lie on opposite builds against the cold edge. It’s been sometime since you drank, specifically this much. You can’t talk for Juyeon, but he seems pretty damn wasted too. Your eyes dares to fall while Juyeon’s shirt climbs up his chin as he comes deeper down the tub.

“I can’t wake up here.” You mumble. Either to yourself or decked out Juyeon; you don't know. He answers something incomprehensible back as a bottle in the scattered line before the bathtub falls. While you grasp for the handle, you turn barely to Juyeon who has his eyes half open.

“Bye, Juyeon, it was epic.” You wave your free hand, “Tell Mindy I said Hi.”

“I’ll do.” He tiredly answers back.

The alcohol withers boundaries within your body. Turns it weak for the downstairs crowd, like poison inducing nausea. In line with poison; You walk as if zombie apocalypse smitten down the stairs without holding onto the railing. Somehow reaches the ground floor and passes through the living room.

Whatever mechanisms your mind built to defend its dignity from Eric; it took the place of the alcohol in its glass bottles. You’re in the hallway, three meters from the entrance. It’s overheating–worse than a sauna–in the house. Mere presence of tepid air has your hands trailing along the walls.

A warmth presence dividing the you and outside blocks. In a desperate drunk attempt you push against it and complain.

“Out the way, you’re fucking hot.”

“I am?”

It speaks back, in a tone rather mischievous than what your state calls for. With a shift of the inner lightning; you realize you have your hands on a uni jacket. The logo turns and you would accuse him of motion sickness.

From your face-low angle, his hands are tied between the blue pockets. You lean harder on the wall to force your chin where his head is tilted with a smile to the same degree.

“You’re still here.” You still complain and his face drops. Eyes fleet between your face, the opposite wall, and the entrance door to return.

“That wasn’t a compliment, right?” His fingers directed to his chest.

“No, Einstein.” Eyebrows knit when realizing you’ve drifted off the main mission. Two shoulders on opposite ends collide as you hastily drag along to the frame.

“Woah, woah.” The male student takes your wrist lightly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s a great idea.” You defend without knowing.

“You’re gonna fall down the stairs.”

His voice is strangely worried which you would have been touched by, if it wasn’t for the drunk state.

Mid temperatures of night may have transpired any senses as you don't answer. He takes this to come up in line with you; one decimeter away from the first stairs.

There’s two people, solitude in a hammock to the right, and prey like shadows of two around the grass. Music from inside is still too loud, and it probably hides someone puking at the other end.

“I’ll help you, okay? I’m not a weirdo.”

You turn your head to side eye him. Either promise respect or sacrificially bow down, he throws his hand up. To then gently lie it on your shoulder, lead you down.

“That’s what a weirdo would say.” You mumble without working against him.

Gravel scratches underneath their feet and the male student takes his hand off your shoulder; though still twined by the wrist.

He starts, “I need your name, I should call–”

“Sunwoo!”

It seizes pulsations from inside, and the male student takes his head from you. Features on his face and the blue jacket is immediately recognised by the one below. The student's eyes are wide and Sunwoo’s eyebrows hold a neutral position above.

“Jaehyu–”

“She’s my girlfriend!” Hyunjae takes your wrist from him.

“Why are you still standing here?” He agitates before wandering off the gates with you.

Sunwoo shoves his hands up in height with his chest once again; not risking to start fighting with the reigning hockey player while he’s half drunk, half angry.

“I don’t think I’m allowed in here.” Sounds tense.

“It’s not like you’re here to hook up.”

“They don’t know that.” Hyunjae deadpans.

After both left Sunwoo at the stone stairs, Hyunjae coursed through the shrubbery once again. You seemed confused over the interaction; he doesn’t think you even realized the hand on your own changed. He thought you would sober up during the train ride, but you still took irregular stepping patterns down the warm lighted gravel path.

While down the glass entrance to the soaring female dormitory; Hyunjae motioned you to walk in. But as fast he let go of your shoulder, you stumbled three steps back.

“What should we do then?” Hyunjae asks, frustrated.

“I don’t know, it was your idea to go the party.” You cross arms.

“And yours to get so drunk that you can’t stand.” He spits back.

The night pulls them close when they wait lonely, as if exiled. Summer cicadas swallow their venom words and when one street lamp flickers; Hyunjae sighs and takes a seat down the stairs. You follow.

Once the peaceful moon renders all its light, leaving it to its bones; your head falls to his shoulder. While you carve shapes in its craters, your arms mindlessly pull him close. The strands of your hair accumulate on his neck, and while filed under the same sky, your breath sounds like a soundtrack to him.

Like the passage from day to night; he notices his heart like it’s vastly alive. How many eyes have looked at him adoringly, but he can’t even anxiously look down your side. It’s familiar yet strange, he refuses to acknowledge it. And still you are oblivious, can’t even see his blushing face.

“Shouldn’t you go home?” You ask softly. Tired and slow in contrast to the previous sentence.

“I can’t leave you here.” He finally looks down at you.

“Then you're going to be tired tomorrow.” Guilt visually lines your sunken silhouette.

Hyunjae smiles, “You’re gonna be too.”

He speaks gently again after silence, “Sober up a bit more and you’ll walk up.”

03 . CHAPTER THREE

( saturday midday )

Not because you thought you were immortal anyway, but the next morning came crashing through the roof. While grieving your roof (it wasn’t broken), you swore the ceiling fan was up to mock you in its circles. All while last night lingers as a supercut.

Your two roommates had woken up earlier, they were supposed to go out. Where? You can’t remember; at that point you were still trying to figure out who you bickered with outside Jeno’s stairs.

Either way, the bottom line is; you didn’t throw off your clothes, and no texts from Eric.

The campus is idyllically still in late summer. Bird whistle intertwines with the wind who walks like you through the grass, under the same gravel path Hyunjae led you yesterday. Sun drenched tree crowns and your eyes yearn through the gaps.

There’s a yellow haze over the world and when you take another step; charge in gravel comes from behind. How your legs sway towards the grass border, fleeting levels with your eyes over your shoulder. A bicycle comes half a meter before; stops it with his right foot.

“Oh–Hi, Y/n.”

“Oh, Juyeon?”

He jumps off the saddle and they fall in same line.

“You look a bit tired?” Juyeon asks in a voice, perfect sync with the bird song. Once again the world falls so dream-like behind him.

“Yeah, yesterday was…stressful.” You take a palm up to your forehead.

Juyeon’s smile falters, anxiously tilts his head, “Did I do something last night?”

“No,no–something else happened…not you.” Hand between the open space which you wave reassuringly. His eyes become concerned and yours only redder. Hyunjae’s touch still lingers on that half of your body; you’re afraid Juyeon can see it.

You ask something else instead, “You then? You’re not tired?”

He laughs softly, “A bit.” “But I’m supposed to meet a family friend.”

You nod.

Leaving the last tree behind; the blue sky opens up, just in time for his revelation. Juyeon turns to you fully. Merely one can make out the contour of a light bulb above his head.

“She bought two of our kittens; Lemon and…” He knits his eyebrows, unable to see your eyes, brilliant with curiosity.

“I forgot.” He laughs, “They’re big now, I see them sometimes.”

“Really?”

Juyeon hums, “Do you want to see them?”

“Of course!..if it’s okay for your friend?”

“She’s a lady my mother knows.” Juyeon takes one leg over the bicycle saddle and tilts his head–so that his hair too–points to the rack.

“Jump on.”

To exchange his eyes with the bicycle rack; you purse your lips and walk behind. Hands immediately cling to the metal frame, but as Juyeon weighs forward, you hold onto his shirt.

Juyeon looks back and smiles as you struggle, “Hold my waist or you’ll fall off.”

At this moment, you’re so deeply relieved he hasn’t read your letter. It eases the touch in your hands as they come to his front. Shirt folded above your clasped hands lies like a veil.

That feeling, of when a perfect alignment of past and memory presents. It washes over one as soften, melancholic, whiplash. You hadn’t thought about his scent in years, but as they chase the sun yet never pass it, his shirt touches your cheek. In his home where they used to sit on knees beside each other. It flutters your heart tenderly.

At the high end peak you felt burdensome. Juyeon reassured you while weighing onto the pedals standing. He seemed to quietly persist in breathing through his nose, even when he was audible panting.

He led the bicycle to the front, beneath the shadowed roof; you cast your eyes over the asphalt end. The wind rushes through nature up here. As such the foreground, alive, before the still concrete and bricks.

Juyeon called your name to where he waited beside the door. With a half a shoulder hidden by his own, the bell goes off. A lady opens and smiles instantly as she sees Juyeon. Her wrist in rose patterns reaches out for his shoulder, comforts it gently. Since you’re a stranger; you’re left to awkwardly observe and retell like a narrator.

“Oh, you have a girl with you?” She smiles at Juyeon, which he returns. He introduces you to the lady while she weakly widens the door gap.

She still talks when three cats come to the hallway rug. Curiously they silently circle your legs, but they too can tell you’re no threat.

An orange cat, clothed in layers of orange fur, brushes its head against your calf. You immediately bend down to pet it. To figure out if this fox-like complexion existed in your past too; you tilt your head. But your cat’s were more like crows than foxes.

Apparently something must have shown because Juyeon says from beside.

“This is Belle, they had their own kittens here. Ours are probably resting on the couch.”

You look up, “Oh.”

The old lady goes to the kitchen to take out tea and biscuits. Meanwhile Juyeon guides you to the living room where three other cats lie in the cushions of a worn down brown couch. Their socks tenderly span across the clear floor, and it must have woken them up. You smile briefly when they instantly seem to recognize him; reach their heads up for touch once he sits. All weights deeper down the material once you sit beside him. Touching shoulders to see a cat lick his finger in his lap.

Like a jet black scarf in his jeans pattern; it contrasts from the faint white mark–like a moon at night–on her head.

“She’s so big now.” You say when visions from those evenings before the TV playing Sailor Moon. You called out her name–Luna–that day when you saw her cramped between her siblings.

Juyeon also named a kitten after a TV show he watched..

“Is that Mum Mew?”

Now in direction towards the floor; a larger cat, half underneath the couch, half on your feet.

Juyeon laughs, “He’s Oscar now.” He leans closer and whispers, “I don’t think I’ve ever told her that was his original name.”

They sit there until the lady comes out again.

“It’s so lovely that you got a girlfriend, Juyeon.” She puts down the plate and the two look at her, “I’ve all actually thought about you a lot. I’ve been thinking about calling your mother to set you up with someone, I started to get a bit worried.”

The lady has an attentive x on her face. The skin on her forehead hides nothing as it folds, deeply contemplated. Only with your head down and suppressed smile, can you clearly notice the plates against wooden surfaces. Juyeon scratches his nape frantically while laughing.

"Yeah, uhh–” He stammer.

“You know, by your age, I was with many guys.” She sits down on the opposite chair.

“We got together, then we broke up. I had a guy in Paris who I really liked.” She leans forward, “Back then I was so in love I wanted to stay. I thought he was perfect! Kind, handsome, sex–”

“What’s the type of cookie?” Juyeon suddenly bursts out. Leaned over the table pointing at the brown one that’s obviously chocolate. But the lady doesn’t seem to bother.

“Oh, you see!”

You press your lips, the color might have vanished. Though it was painfully awkward; Juyeon was just adorable enough to turn the situation endearing. She still describes in detail over her mother’s mother recipe; and Juyeon from the side nods his head attentively, like he always does.

After another conversation, the topic returns.

“So when did you meet?”

Turns to exchange question marks between you. His eyes don't say much and you guess yours neither.

Juyeon scratches his nape, “We’ve been friends for sometime.”

Lady nods, “Since when?”

“Like…” He looks at you for confirmation, “...fourteen or fifteen?”

“Did you confess, Juyeon? Or Y/n?” She smiles and looks at you, “Juyeon is a bit shy, I’ll be surprised if he confessed.”

He retreats back to the couch; sinks down the heavy material. You laugh lightly at how his shoulders, swallows by waves of brown textile.

“Y/n actually liked me first back then.” He points out gently.

You freeze.

“Then I confessed in university.”

The old woman does a sweet smile; hands patterned of life lie like a cover over her heart as she looks at both.

For the longer you’re in someone’s presence; one starts to adjust to the traits. But even how many conversations went on and the sun above crossed her roof; your shoulders hardened. Like irreversible death does to your physical state, you seem unable to look to Juyeon’s side. By all stars in the universe; you’re suddenly transparent. Obvious, translucent piercing glass.

You looked out the window at the old woman’s house; terrifyingly, the sky was pink. All the world disappeared at fatal speed when they bicycled back to campus. There must be a sort of brilliant snow, in a color out of our spectrum, that rains down on Earth in summer evening. It leaves the landscape quiet and calm. Cicadas sing when everyone else ceases to.

None of you felt like going to the dorms just yet, instead; you now sit in the auditorium. Though either laugh echoes throughout the wide open space, there’s a dissolving acid in your lungs, begging to drink all air.

All those characteristics of a person reveal to the open world after all these years. Because you can’t remember Juyeon being so persistent in apologizing. They came in on the “girlfriend” incident; he smiled embarrassingly, felt guilty for forcing you in on it. You told him it was okay.

After echoing silence; it soars through the auditorium. Juyeon reaches down his backpack with all its scattered papers. There’s a velvety pulse keeping the space next to you occupied while he’s elsewhere. Once Juyeon comes out of the canvas material; your eyes widen in terror, contrasting the melodic decoration of red velvet and wood.

Your conscious runs desperately from this room, but physical state is in the same seat.

Juyeon holds out a blue letter with your handwriting on it.

“I should’ve said it sooner, I’m sorry.” He says in that gentle tone he always speaks to you with. Maybe a soft arch at the end of the sentence. Nonetheless, you imaginary stabs the mind resting in your bone cradle.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You look at him once before turning to the empty seat and make an expression. One of deep second hand embarrassment that comes from the very narrow part of ‘me’ and sends like shivers.

“I understand.” Juyeon follows your movements, “You were not supposed to see that letter, they shouldn’t have been leaked.”

Worried you might have genuinely caused borderline trauma for the poor guy; you turn to him, “I’m really sorry.”

“No.” The corners of his lips turn into leaves of a red apple. His eyes clouds the color round the pupil and his height convulses barely as he leans into the seat.

Parts of us never veins, and in front of you, he’s the same boy who patted kittens and was deeply sad when they parted from their mother.

“I’m honestly very touched by it.” He admits.

He was back in his childhood home for the last week before semester. When folding the navy sheets of his old bed; his mother came up. A letter in her hand with turquoise color and bubble arch letters in pink ink. Already, it couldn’t be something written in ‘today’.

And Juyeon is truthful towards you. He read it on the train back home. Always oblivious but grateful nonetheless. Used the window like a passage to the time where you sat beside him on the bedroom floor.

“Really?” You say surprised.

He nods, “I’ve never gotten a love letter before.”

You would scoff and tell him he’s lying, but as his appreciative eyes blur with the blue envelope; you don’t.

“You know, I think you should join the writer’s club here on campus.” Juyeon smiles at you suddenly.

“What?” You lean away.

“Really.” His eyes shapes of honest o’s, “Like–of course there’s some grammar mistakes and you spelt ‘desperatly’ wrong, but you got the feeling!”

Still the same skeptical expression answers him back.

“I’m really serious Y/n.”

Own hands in your lap trail towards each other like opposite poles, “I’ll think about it.”

You watch how he timidly holds the edges and opens the envelope again. Lips shaped in pout like he wonders.

“Does it bother you if I keep it?” He asks.

Head shake, though still confused, “No, you can keep it.”

“Thank you.” He smiles endearingly and tucks it back between the papers and folders.

A revelation wasn’t as horrid as you thought. Hyunjae’s was deeply embarrassing, but there’s a brief space for contemptment in your heart where anxiety wandered before. Like a visual sight of the butterfly; you look up at the auditorium and ponder over the hidden connections.

You didn’t expect anything from Juyeon; that time has passed. But his now grown up presence seems to fulfill this daily life too.

“Did others get letters?” Juyeon breaks silence. Like always, his expression paints past the physical boundaries, and one could make out white lines of curious cat ears.

You figure he means the “they shouldn’t have been leaked”.

You nod and he tilts his head. Visual intrigue and anticipation from his seat, but you close off in rose pigment like tired flowers.

“I'd rather not tell you, it’s a bit embarrassing.” You laugh and Juyeon leans back, reassuring.

This anticipating silence doesn’t cease. It exists as a continuation, a ‘more’ before the ‘end’. One person can’t seem to leave the edge undiscovered, rather, you wait for the red thread to tie its last loop.

“You know Eric has been looking for you? He seems to miss you a lot.” Juyeon finally says. Tone serious than anything else that left his lips.

A stone grows between your throat, not acid. There’s no dissolving, just constant aching as you try to move.

Juyeon continues to talk as you’re silent, “I don’t know what it is, but he’s very understanding…”

He pauses, “...and you know, cause you know him better than I do.”

04 . CHAPTER FOUR

( tuesday, morning )

“Where’s the psychiatrist?”

“At the library.”

“No, I can’t talk to Juyeon anymore.” He groans.

To drift from the flat roofs outside the window; Eric looks at Sunwoo, further the beige walls. Sunwoo’s head is deep tucked beneath the bedding; Eric crawls over from his own bed to the end of Sunwoo’s. When the weight leans towards Sunwoo’s feet, he closes the pink envelope and lets the navy sheets hide it. The cover comes off Sunwoo’s head by Eric. His face like the moon causes an eclipse over the sun and Sunwoo stares unenchanted back at it.

“Y/n still haven't answered my messages, it’s been like three weeks!” Eric forces the pillow down.

“I wouldn’t answer you either.” Sunwoo pats bedding over his chest while Eric throws the pillow at his side.

They just became friends at the end of the last semester and decided to room for this year. As one’s social circles opens up in double doors whenever Eric comes; your name was one of the first he heard. Sunwoo immediately leaned intrigued at the name, but figured it was just a mere coincidence. He was bound to grow from youth and twine old names with new faces.

Either way, destiny doesn’t exist, and he won’t take a bait from the universe. Though, Sunwoo threaded over that principle the week before uni started. He worked at the old summer camp and a letter came during the closing week.

“To Sunwoo”, nothing else. Curiosity took the best of him and he opened the letter to see “From Y/n'' at the end of a massive paragraph.

The universe got him this time, he admits. In how many positions has he reread the letter and dreamt of the yellow filtered summer from when he was thirteen. In truth he reminiscenced about you those summer’s after. Once reaching adulthood, he realized there was no point in yearning, it’s been years. But this late season has turned into the car ride home from that camp, still with you in vision, so close but not here.

At this point ‘Y/n’ feels like a mere fragment of his imagination; therefore he wont tell. Keep your name from any seekers and contemplate.

After laughter; Eric plummets to the bed and looks up at the ceiling, feeling Sunwoo’s legs at his elbow.

“I just don’t understand why she can’t talk to me.” He murmurs.

“Did anything happen?”

Only Juyeon knows about the letter Eric received from his best friend. A confession he has longed for since he lived in his castle (big house), but never would be granted.

Eric thought their connection was stronger than this. Why did you send it if you weren't seeking answers? Why now, this place at this time?

He has traced every curve of your letters; stared at facebook and mail box. Even the refrigerator at night for answers.

Though everything the roommates did this summer; Eric can’t tell him, not yet. It’s the luminous memories coming to his ruins. Sunwoo is his presence.

Silent melancholia climbs above the horizon together with the bleeding sun at the football field. Lines of the goals, rigid and angular, separate the pink-orange growing fragments. Breeze from east colds your heated heart while waiting on the bleachers for Hyunjae.

You were forced to wake up; not following the united routine of the dormitory when he needed help for a training pass at dawn. But he’s not in sight.

Half asleep leaning on the backpack, center of your lap; waiting for something holy to run past.

World’s colors fade into abstraction behind the pupil and a small figure crosses the field. You don’t notice how it leaves the red tracks, closer to the bleachers. Same breeze that touched you passes through its shirt and by mere coincidence. He turns his head opposite from the sunrise and sees you lone illuminated.

Sunwoo recognises the person despite different clothing. There’s an unconscious underlying characteristic in posture. Sunwoo has been entranced by his own world, but he did think a lot of the pretty girl who fell drunk out of the entrance at Jeno’s party.

Slowly his feet take him further from the white lines.

“You’re okay?” His voice tears the plaster away from your vision.

To look up from the bleacher, a ruler higher than the green grass, they make eye contact. It takes a pattern of blinking but at last you speak.

“What?”

“I saw you at the party last Friday, I just wonder if you’re okay?” He repeats.

A sort of second hand deja vu like nausea, spreads from the visual, coming back. Forces the parallel expression to the feeling, down and instead scratches your head.

“Oh.” Eyes widen, “Yeah, I’m okay now, thanks.”

Solitude pushes down into the field with the next breeze. The two of them linger in the same place though the conversation seemed to have ended long ago. You who tie eyes on the far tower of the male dormitory, look back towards him. He stands with barely knit eyebrows, two meters away. It’s not an uncomfortable stare whatsoever, rather curious as the sun rising above the world.

You smile, “You’re trying to place me…”

Trying destiny runs through him but nonetheless he’s taken by the sudden realization. You see how the expression unravels and a single shooting star passes the brown coloration of his left eye.

“You’re Y/n; Y/n from summer camp?”

You don't react as quickly and are now left blaring into the past and present and the same time.

“We went kayaking together, don’t you remember?” He points at himself, “I’m Sunwoo.”

The star falls in east and transcends pink orange shine throughout the campus. For a second; you would have fallen from first row down the grass field with knees bruised of embarrassment, but just in time, you realized that the address written on the letter wasn’t his, just the camp.

“Sunwoo?” Your posture folds higher to come into view with his own. Truly there’s exciting nostalgia within.

“I didn’t know you went here.” You say slowly.

“Me neither.” Sunwoo laughs.

While in awe over the struck of fate; eyes momentarily drift to the right. Another shadow cuts through the horizon and appears closer while jogging across the field. All light still shines in your eyes while standing up. They come in equal footing and quietly watch each other. He looks over behind and sees Hyunjae. Sunwoo doesn’t quite feel like leaving yet; wished they were stored a moment longer.

His arms just barely lifts off his sides to embrace you, but the sharp sequence of Hyunjae and you strikes him at the spinal cord. Not wanting to disrupt your relationship again.

You’re left with wide eyes as Sunwoo runs off the direction he appeared from.

“Bye Y/n, see you around!”

It all just played as if at two times speed. One hand lifts to wave from your side of the world while the last strands disappear beyond the goals.

By peripheral vision, Hyunjae traces Sunwoo. Once more, there’s a torturous sensation growing between marrow bone and heart. When you look his way he feels your eyes held down on him only.

“You never take water with you, Ice God.”

While still a meter across, you throw the water bottle to him and he captures it perfectly. Hyunjae looks up with eye-framed windows like staring at the sun.

“You’re close with Sunwoo?”

Your bag falls to the ground, “We went to summer camp together, I didn’t know he studied here.”

Briefly nod while his bag too comes down the grass. You lucid leaning onto the bleachers again–until Hyunjae starts sprinting in one place. The end strands of his hair in parallel motions and his child-like smile shine between the pauses.

“Let’s run.” He says.

“I have a volleyball match later.” Back falls to the second and third row as you complain.

He laughs and takes your wrist, “Running helps with stress.”

White ribbons knitted along the green corners; they jog the red track field and do a few rounds. Each passage closest to the bleachers you see the shadows diagonally downgrade across the seats.

Despite having their lungs barely reaching air; Hyunjae persists in conversation. It presses from Earth towards your upper body as you unconsciously choose words before steps. But Hyunjae too seems incredibly out of breath for someone that trains as much as he does.

You won’t admit it just yet–if ever–that his company is actually enjoyable.

He lingers across the sport’s center until the shift has ended, and talks to you in insignificant states. In one way; your long shadow at the end of your feet feels guilty. An idea of a self serving dude with too much attention. In truth; he laughs a lot.

“When’s the game?” Hyunjae asks as their feet come out of synch.

They stand still catching breath.

“At three.” You sigh and start walking to the bleachers.

“Then, I’ll skip this lesson.” Hyunjae stands next to you.

He takes out the water bottle you gifted him. Presence from your side lingers on him as he drinks, and he raises his eyebrows at the long look.

“You don’t have to come though.” The lines above eyes cross in a slight perplexed X.

“You were at my game last time, I should come to.” Hyunjae smiles gently.

( tuesday, afternoon )

“Need to go to the toilet; nervousness makes me pee.”

‘21’ in bold font disappears behind the bended wall. You direct towards people in fitted shirts as patterns before the teal walls.

It’s not usual for you to be nervous before games; nor to be completely absorbed by else’s. Now you’re unconventionally a bit more dreamy. The halo in your eyes, up at the sky and shoulder’s slack as if moon-touched. Your teammates pointed it out too when you didn’t answer after ‘Y/n!’.

Sunwoo reentered your life this morning. The boy that had caused such a heartbreak it was unbelievable. And despite your time changes, you found yourself counting the star constellations he told you that summer.

This sort of unending chase starts again, that the letters dated to the old camp will find its way to him. Like a foolish child's secret.

You also wonder why Hyunjae was so persistent on going to your match. One could thread through the interactions and guess he’s become comfortable in your life too. But there’s a brief self reflection. You neither rejected him to come or encouraged. Maybe you want someone up on the bleachers shouting your name, even if it’s not Eric.

Wooden floor reflects the studio lights like water. Eyes wanders immediately from teammates up to the bleachers. Blue plastic seats on row, to the very windows where it barely collides with the roof. There’s a few silhouettes in groups up on the high rows. Everyone waving their hands to someone, not you.

When you see number 21 stop before the white line and bring her arm high up to one standing; you suddenly regret not messaging Eric. Though, just as fast; he maybe wouldn’t even have showed up?

One loud whistle comes from the left; your head directs off the green line tracing vertically. Sees teammates reach their hand out for you to the ring building at the side of the rectangular room. On the opposite, mirrors like theirs in green shirts, they gather.

Thin water like bubbles trace down the narrow row from your temples. All these bubbles that have accumulated beneath the shirt, down knees and threading your throat like a transparent necklace.

Once the last whistle soars across ceiling; you return to the corner of teammates. Someone touches your arm while running for water; a teammate smiles sincerely but exhausted.

When shoes are in line with the white painted diagonal; your name chants above all noise. From the floor, your eyes see Hyunjae coming down the blue seats. You aren’t able to reiterate his name before arms of his own wrap around shoulders.

The invincible spot of cologne sits beneath his shoulder blade. Evoking gently as your chin, supported by the broad shoulder. You hesitantly hug him back and try to look at his face but only reaches his ear.

Suddenly you feel a bit insecure.

“I’m really sweaty, Hyunjae.” You laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah,” His hands retrites without walking back.

Lips curve to gentle his face and the eyes like porcelain.

“, and it fits you.”

A strand falls before your eyes; tucked in by his hands like a dove’s wing.

Once the match heat flush red, another round of pigment paints your cheeks. There’s no hinder above your eyes left, but still you shake your head and cough; all while Hyunjae still smiles.

“Thank you, Jaehyun.”

His expression, more blinding than the long lights above. It’s impossible to not curl up before. You have a certain love for looking away when adoration blooms like spring season on him. Somehow you seemed to have missed when he came to the bleachers too.

It’s quiet, but Hyunjae still feels like hearing your voice.

He starts, “You did grea-”

“Y/n!”

A voice so deeply teared apart and assembled within your mind, that it exists stored in the furthest corners. There’s a certain nerve created just to react to that tone fall, you believe.

With eyes widened and fingers loosen from each other; you pierce towards the blue door. People still run past your double vision, but for a second the world stopped.

Eric stands with hands in the blue frame. The universe must’ve heard that wish you prayed before, and in some way, full of relief and exhaustion, you’re happy it did. Eric is visually as hesitant as you, bearing fear and soft in heart pulses.

“Sorry, Hyunjae, it’s something important.” You jog up to the double door determined. With one last glance to the bleachers, “See you later! …Thanks for coming!”

Confinement exists excruciating; you hoped it was just the sunbleached walls with square hole windows that trapped them. But not even the open atmosphere, heaven to the infinite universe could save them from what’s been left unsaid.

Eric asked while passing doors “I have messaged you for two weeks, why didn’t you answer?”. You could only look at him for a second before turning to the open field. His expression begs of confusion, but truly you think he knows why.

It’s silent. Wind from east campus brushes between the grass. You become the only thing stagnant along the heavy constructions weighing down on Earth as Eric walks up the bleachers. Blue faded denim pockets console his hands as he holds sight on his converse before white plastic.

“You didn’t even tell me you had a game today.” He refuses to make eye contact.

Head falls low; everythings to remind you that guilt is the heaviest matter on Earth.

Theoretically, it’s supposed to be useless feeling alone or unloved with a person like Eric. Sometimes you catch yourself staring in mirrors to search for another pair of eyes. But it’s hard to be miserable when Eric’s been a phone call away.

It was lonely without you, but I pushed you away.

“I’m sorry.” You finally say.

It’s the only thing you get out as you walk up the bleachers. Together on the second row; they watch the green grass and its maroon building boxes. A mellow sun on the edge of disappearing while the land continues flat forever. A wind of different temperature while the concrete still radiates warmth.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you Eric.” You speak again.

Their shoes in different font over the white row; you look at them before his side appears in the same position as you. They make eye contact in what feels timeless and it trips on your heart.

“I was-”

“It’s oka-”

There’s silence as they stare at each other; anticipating the other. Though the ink period of the passage becomes laughter as their shoulders collide like the southern and north pole. It ends up being Eric who speaks.

“You’re forgiven.” He smiles and Earth sighs of relief with you.

The two poles of their angular edge bind them gently. North and south diasporas sit in silence, whispers of the flat city come from all directions and it smells like grass or nothing in particular.

A closed connection where everything flows freely without hinder; you had nearly forgotten about that feeling.

Courage drapes whatever embarrassment was left in you. To breathe in before honest confession. That you love him deeply still, though any romanticized visions are of the past.

As you think of it; a part of the old self frees and runs with you back towards the grass field.

“I actually like you too, Y/n.”

It hitches in your throat.

“You don’t have to answer yet.” His smile reeks of cotton candy, and the hand on her shoulder before he leaves radiates in puddles like theme parks.

“I’ll wait for you, princess!” Eric shouts with his hand in his pockets before turning his back. The same nickname he’s called you since seven, never understanding why.

The stark contour of the real world fades as he disappears towards the dormitory until he’s just a mere dot.

It’s still warm, but summer has made one privileged. You feel like wearing a jacket as your old self now takes the empty space beside.

05 . CHAPTER FIVE

( thursday, afternoon )

Ji Changmin has never been great at sport, and that’s never with a big N. Last night the breaking news of a 2 day beach party got delivered by the infamous friend group, and of course, everyone would be playing the mandatory volleyball games.

Changmin took his backpack and ran, hoping Eric would be too busy arguing with someone else to notice the empty chair. But at last, Changmin walked up the dormitory corridor with Eric hanging from his left calf like chained. Desperately begging that it wouldn’t be the same if everyone doesn’t come.

One thing led to the other and every dorm heard a passing march of footsteps to the other end. Changmin was running after Eric whilst he screamed of absolute terror (traumatized from the year before when changmin chased him down the campus, drunk). In a last attempt of escape; Eric jumped Juyeon’s room and made a borderline olympic leep down the bedding before Juyeon processed the door had been opened.

Like the unofficial therapist he is; Juyeon told Changmin he has a friend in the volleyball team that can teach him this afternoon so as to not embarrass himself completely.

And that’s how you stand in the same hall; wide eyed and chills growing like rose stems it might strangle you. Though, you could’ve been more embarrassed as Changmin looks about the same.

With an aggressive tilt to your shoulder while eyelids reach your eyebrows; a firm stare directed at Juyeon. Quietly it signals “what the fuck didn’t you tell me it was Changmin?!”.

He doesn’t get it.

“...and he’s really bad.” Juyeon ends while smiling.

“I’m not that bad.” Changmin side eyes the taller one; also in search for some backup.

“Yes, you are silly.” His eyes crease in turn with the ends of his lips. From the right side, his hands come up to ruffle the sprout of Changmin’s head.

All three compiled the net up. You had no interest in bringing up the letter for either Changmin or Juyeon; therefore you rigid and pale served the first shot.

But thankful for Juyeon’s excitement and obliviousness (surprising) to the reunion he just set up; the tension wore off Changmin’s shoulder and your pigments returned.

All would rotate between the two sides of the net. You would purse lips to a thin line and turn the plastic of your shoes on the hard floor before running up to Changmin to show him how to serve. At first you stood a little less than a meter behind him; shoved gestures in the air to somehow manipulate his own body to do the same movements. But at last you went up to him, held his hand like gentle rain.

There was not a bruise or patterns of shades on his palms. Either he’s absolutely addicted to hand cream or those text books of his must enchant his skin while turning pages.

Changmin felt fragile like all ancient history when you showed him. He tried to be quiet, shyly only talking to Juyeon, but couldn’t help but let out shrieks every time he missed or won. It was just like board games at the dinner table when their parents whispered in the other room.

You suddenly shout, “Move!”

Juyeon’s on the opposite side of the two and forced the ball up to the roof with neck breaking power.

You see how Changmin doesn’t; instead glued to the floor with knees rigid and his hands come up in chest length as if it will save him. You desperately swing your shoulder to the right, but all actions are in vain when their foreheads collide. Force acts up on them and leads them to the ground. Swear it was visible stars circling both heads.

As the collision wears off and presence hits you as a second impact; terrified you watch Changmin between own two arms down the floor. Legs have his stomach tied to the flooring;

where in all directions you are. And when they both blushes of embarrassment; Changmin’s hands come a little higher up his chest.

“You’re supposed to chase the ball.” You stutter and hastily push up from him but miserably fails as the clothing material slips on the floor.

“I’m sorry-”

Changmin, just as terrified, apologizes while pushing himself off the floor. One way and two directions; they shut their eyes painfully as the point between their eyebrows hit each other again. One step further down his stomach.

“You didn’t even tell me we had started.” Changmin complains and holds his forehead, looking at Juyeon who climbs under the net.

You slide off him; knees supporting any weight while at the end of his calves. Great silence from the tunnel system in the high ceiling expands over the yellow walls. It scratches in their throats that you cough. It was enough to crack the tension layered like a glass dome.

“I don’t feel the same, Y/n.” Changmin sits up.

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh because you know what he means without asking. Fingers left racing the floor.

“Old story; you were not supposed to get it, I’m sorry.” Guiltily purse lips in, “Also, sorry for falling on you.”

Suddenly gentle, his legs come over in crisscross and he leans closer to your figure.

“Yeah…it’s fine.” He confirms in same tone, “Though, I appreciate it. The letter.”

He pauses.

“...I had no idea.” Changmin admits.

You laugh, “Really? I was super obvious.”

“You think so?” He skeptically smiles.

To bring your arms to an imaginable table and articulate, “I literally held my arms over the textbooks to lean over to you..”

“I just thought you were a bad listener.” Changmin smiles, bothered, like he always does.

They both laugh.

Another shine made by the sun outside draws with a ruler down the yellow wall. It has an angular cut in where it has a darker wooden frame just above the floor. Like the highlight is a window to the midsummers of one’s childhood; you dare to hold eyes open and watch.

They used to sit at the dining table where the pattern cloth folds at your knees. Because you were way too shy to invite him behind your room door. Sometimes, laughs loud enough for them to hear came from the living room where both their mom’s sat. Mostly they whispered; never understood why.

When they were younger, he was mostly intimidating. So much taller and just his glasses felt like a sign of great intelligence. But truly his personality held some sort of shine you believed was a leftover from some ancient spell along the yellow fields.

With their families having dinner sometimes; the two of them used to play board or card games late into the afternoon when the adults still sat along the dinner table. You didn’t want to invite your brother when you finally had time to talk to Changmin without it being about math, but he was way too nice to leave him out.

“Is your cat good?” Changmin asks suddenly, “Or is he dead?” He knits his eyebrows.

“Yeah, he’s dead.” Smiles and thinks of how Scuba Steve, in his orange white complexion used to jump into Changmin’s lap while he was tutoring. And when he talked to him so sweetly and petted him along the long fur; her teenage self used to dream about their future (delusion).

“It feels like he liked everyone more than me.” You admit while leaning into your palm.

“I’m sure he liked you too.” He laughs.

“Are you going to the beach party?” Changmin suddenly asks, “You’re close with Eric, right?” He knits his eyebrows, “Aren’t you together with Jaehyun too?”

“No, no, no, I’m not with Jaehyun.” You fall back to the floor and hands melt down your face.

“Don’t tell him I said that though.” You add, “But no, I’m not going.”

“Why not?”

Visions from the past weeks pass like a bad trailer and you close your eyes. Sunwoo and Eric run across the field in a sort of evangelical light and Hyunjae in the far corner.

You sort of lie, “It’s complicated. I don’t want to meet Eric.”

Changmin stands up, “I’m only going if you do.”

“Don’t do this.” You complain.

“No, whatever’s going on, we’re fixing it now.” He takes your shoulder and forces you up. You whine again and try to make the weight fall back to Earth.

“I’m fighting volleyball and you’re fighting Eric, great!” He cheers.

There was a lot more than Eric you had to fight this weekend.

The ball goes flying in their direction again. It lands on Changmin’s head and forces his glasses to the floor. They both look to the right and see Juyeon stand awkwardly upright, hands hanging like leaves as he longs for the ball.

“I missed.” He deadpan.

You take the ball and look at Changmin. He smiles knowingly before you both rush at Juyeon.

( friday, morning )

“Do you want some?”

Your head turns to the right where the sun shines through the glass brighter. It ceases through the back of his loose strands like the tree crowns from summer camp.

When you came down to the bus station, Changmin waved at you from a stack of backpacks piled like a mountain. Juyeon stood slightly behind and followed the shoerter’s movements. You asked them if they plan on moving with that; Changmin answered it was Juyeon’s and Eric’s bags. He had–while straightening his posture–just taken the necessary.

When all had arrived, you got a third row seat at the back beside Sunwoo. You had met again on campus. It turned out between all those words that both were going to the party this weekend. You mentioned how you’re mainly here as Changmin’s emotional support.

Sunwoo– a little horrified– told you he’ll have eyes in the back of his neck for this trip. Hyunjae, Eric or anyone else for that matter could come up from behind and throw hsi poor body in the water. With both in desperate situations, they jokingly built a pact to have each other’s back on this trip.

So when you sit beside Sunwoo, and look down the space created against the armrest where he reaches out a pink package. He shakes it and you smile before taking a hand off the backpack.

“You stole my pocky?”

Tearing away from that space; they look behind the red seat to see Eric leaned over the two. He pierces down at Sunwoo with a dumbfounded O of his lips and starts pointing at the roots of Sunwoo’s hair which he ducks away from.

“I didn’t steal it.” He defends.

“It’s mine, I bought it this morning.” Eric looks at you, begging for sympathy, “Now I have no snacks.”

“You said you weren’t going to eat them.” Sunwoo hides them.

“They’re mine!” Eric hangs down the seat. Immediately you take the edge of his sleeve as if he’ll fall on you.

“You’re gonna eat them now?” Sunwoo taunts, “Take the jelly grapes.” He throws out a plastic package from his bag while still chewing.

“Let’s split it.” Eric deadpans while holding out his palm.

“I’ll buy you one later.” Sunwoo repeat.

Eric laughs from above, “You literally just asked Y/n!” He points.

Sunwoo gets quiet for a second; looks up et Eric, before back at Y/n.

“Can’t you just eat the grapes?” He shakes the package up in Eric’s face.

Feet fall back to the floor, the row behind them and Eric, still dumbfounded, points at Sunwoo while stunned searches for assent in you.

“He’s shameless.” Eric sits down.

Where the dense complexes only ends when shore starts, the bus ride isn’t long. Despite constant traffic, conversations over the unconscious roaring of the bus engine; you resisted the falling weight of eyelids but at last, gave in. The last minutes when blue hues start to form between the windows and houses lined up against the sand. Head falls onto Sunwoo’s shoulder.

Changes surprises him, but just as immediately he gently falls back into his seat and your head comes between his neck like the last piece of a 100 puzzle. How could he describe the violent but gentle flutter that grows from a part in his chest and blooms into all directions. And when each stem leaves its youth and creates rosen petals at his fingertips; the playlist in his headphones changes song.

A melody of 80s slow paced rhythm and a voice soft like silk; lies over the muted woven chorals and yellow of the beach houses. Tiny flowers in perfect composition, like a trail across each street and when he sees the roof of the largest beach houses, just below the shore; Sunwoo wishes the bus would take one more round.

He dares to look down. He has seen this image before. All those movie nights in the dining room at summer camp evening. When he rushed to take the seat beside you before anyone else. And towards the end of the long hour you couldn’t keep your eyes open and leaned just like now, on his shoulder. It’s been so long but it doesn’t feel like a season has passed since that summer when he sees your hand lightly touching his own.

“You need sunscreen, Jaehyun!” You wave the blue plastic tube while slipping down the sand. Hyunjae looks over his shoulder, smirking questionably to her while you come closer.

“You’ll get skin cancer.” You squint when the blue sky shines behind him.

“You do it then.” He smiles.

Holding hands above your eyes, hoping it’ll cease all rosen blushes, “I’m not your mom.”

“Please, Y/n.” He shakes your forearms, pouting. At first your own hands come up to his chest to force him off, but retrites like touching a hot stove as he’s shirtless.

“Okay, okay.”

Overarching sand, up to the wooden porch, frees from the rest when they walk up. Hyunjae quickly takes the lead when he jumps up on fixed ground and takes a seat on the edge of the porch. How he wiggle his legs like an excited child while smiling so brightly; you didn’t know he could. You fall to knees behind him and awkwardly look over his hair.

“Can’t you just do it yourself?” Sun highlights his skin from above. The sharp points of his shoulders, down to his arms, seem soothing against the sharp sand. That specific smell of sunscreen, so deeply ingrained into summer, trace along the porch. Your palm hesitantly moves back and forth between the flexed spot of his shoulder.

“Just do it, Angel.” Hyunjae looks back at you encouragingly, but you quickly lie the cold sunscreen on his skin to divert him. In the clear summer sun spotlight, your cheeks luminates of struck pink.

“Ah, it’s cold.” Hyunjae’s shoulder rises up and you continue soothing it in one hand.

“Don’t complain.” You try to sound normal.

They got along more than you originally thought. Hesitant to calling people friends, but you guess that's what they are. Though, friends shouldn’t blush of nervousness from innocent touch, right? Especially when Hyunjae leans back further into your hand, and you wonder if it’s wrong.

At the same time; Eric peeks from the doors to the beach house. He tries to convince himself he’s longingly looking at the open shore, but it’s merely a background to Hyunjae and you.

It’s not that you’re lying, he thinks. You looked more than authentic that day, he asked if they were together and you denied. It’s not a competition, but still he feels a burn coming from another direction than the sun when your hands go to his neck and Hyunjae laughs from tickling.

“Y/n!”

You turn from Hyunjae and see Eric coming closer. All that in one motion, you forgot about the painfully obvious red of your face. It isn’t until Eric’s eyes widens and he falls in height to take your left cheek.

“You’ve burned yourself, Y/n.” Eric traces with his thumb the rose colors of your essence and to feel it coming off your skin, embarrassingly paint your soul. At this point, nervousness would leak out from your skin, but by Eric’s and Hyunjae’s wide eyes and open mouths; they’re completely oblivious to their work.

“N-” Stuttering out the beginning of a no; you stop suddenly as there’s no good excuse for the color.

“Let me help you.” Hyunjae reaches for the tube down the wood and you immediately try back from Eric’s gentle palms.

“No, no, no, it’s just heat.”

“Water.” Eric wants to get you on foot, take you to the kitchen.

“You need a cold bath.” Hyunjae says quickly after and without looking at Eric takes you in bridal style. Hand lets go of Eric’s and he’s left standing as you in panic tries to convince Hyunjae to turn away from shore. Hyunjae laughs while shouting that you’ll overheat.

It’s a dark seemingly normal, but guilty jealousy Eric watches the older one throw his best friend down the water. You’re quick on your feet again, and start chasing Hyunjae further down. Laughs come from that side while Eric tears his eyes off the new waves; clench his fist because frustration might visibly leak out his skin, and turn back to the house to take his mind off.

It was only a limited amount of sups, you shared one with Changmin. They had agreed to alt the paddle in interval, but it was you who ended up dragging them both along the surface while Chnagmin sat behind, criticizing the solo sups.

His victim was mainly Juyeon who traversed the first ocean layer for a good minute playing God until he lost balance. The entire group laughed while he tried to climb up. At the same time Sunwoo laughed so hard he was second to fall in.

Changmin did well, all things considered, when it was beach volleyball. Juyeon and you cheered on him. That brought him enough confidence to stand at the front. Which wasn’t his greatest moment as he fell head first into the net.

Sun’s, fleetly asleep above the horizon. All those hours of shine still left like a memory in the sand while four of them still play, the rest swimming, taken a seat with the group who grills or in the house. Laughter with the waves collide, creating a divide of foam. Breeze ensues their hearts.

It smells of garlic smoked marinade from behind once the ball comes over again. Though at first refusing to go, you’re still thankful for Changmin who desperately forced a game over either way.

Soon there’s food and you sit on the porch once again. Sunset like a filter over the shore and its houses, maybe the heart too.

“I have some for you.”

You look up at who you thought was Eric, with a brightly printed paper plate, gathered of the same choices since childhood. But you blink once, realize it’s Sunwoo. He takes the space beside where only vague music accompanied earlier.

“Oh, thank you, Sunwoo.” You smile and take the second plate.

“No worries.” He bends down to eat a bite of his own food.

A scenery in fleeting composition, scattered of dust passes through the peripheral.

“I remember you used to take food to me back then too.” Unconscious of the tender light you hold while tracing the oil leaking across plastic shine.

“Yeah,” He looks at his chicken, “Cause you were always busy sorting stones.”

You scoff, “Why? You’re judging my hobbies?”

“No,” He answer truthfully, “It was cute.”

“My stones?” You tilt.

“You.”

Sunwoo’s voice is monotone like it wasn’t supposed to blemish your heart like the orange and dark blue sky divide. The bones across your shoulders and hover over chest convulse in like wings of the delighting butterflies.

Sunwoo looks up from the food, “I don’t really remember how your stones looked.”

You smile and take a bite, “I guess that’s why I married you back then.”

Still confined between your own frame to prevent any sheer wings of escape; you miss how his ears perked up together with his horrible posture. Him in his sharp complexion becomes adorably curious.

“You remember that?” He says surprised.

“Of course.” She says as if it’s obvious. Sunwoo looks down at the sand as if to see the smitten reflection of his face in them.

“I actually didn’t think you’d remember.” He says quietly.

Another song on the playlist comes on and a group of people rush beside them. Jumping off the porch; their silhouettes darken in pink contrast as water evaporates on their burnt arms.

Sunwoo dares to look to your side; still eating and it further reminds him of times in circles when they sat next to each other. Something absurd with seeing you again like this. For some nameless reason you have lived all these years as a little girl in his memories, constantly visiting when summer’s approaching. Now you're here, finally at the same age.

He knows he shouldn’t advance, shouldn’t take a step closer on the porch. Since behind him just some meters further, Hyunjae sits. How adoringly he thinks of Hyunjae because he has you unconditionally by one side.

“I remember you told me about the stars.” You suddenly say.

Sunwoo looks at you then the skies, vaguely guilty that there's nothing's left to see yet.

He smiles, “Damn, I can’t see them, otherwise I would’ve told you about them again.”

You hold head tilted at his side while his eyes still squint for a light away to hit them, “You can show me later.”

You don't know what has crawled into you lately, but it’s dependent and has zero abstinence.

As if the hangover from last week wasn’t enough to convince you; you’re drunk once again (this time in the kitchen). Juyeon worriedly came over, asking if you’re always this bad with alcohol. In turn you took his shoulders dramatically and said no, shaking him.

And you weren't the only one. In the same vein, at another window by the house; Eric found Sunwoo staring dead into the reflection. When asked what he was doing, Sunwoo simply replied he’s staring at bird shit and laughing like it was the funniest thing.

Most people are still outside. Fairy lights might look like fireflies in this state as it cradles lightly from night weather. As people cross the sand it changes patterns. It lays a plastic cup further away which Eric runs to pick up. You don't know what song is playing when the high frame expands as walls in all directions, but you think it’s good.

“Can you dance?” You look at Sunwoo. He turns confusingly with bad posture from the bird shit. An awkward beat drop passage muffled by the walls takes the silence.

Suddenly you jump up to him in another rhythm than the beat. Smiles wholeheartedly while waving arms.

“I can’t.” You answer your own questions and do a spin.

Sunwoo’s hangs down its sides like towels over the branches. You reflect in highlights by his porcelain eyes. He must look extremely out of it as the pupils can’t concentrate on the shifting lights and his amused smile. But you couldn’t tell.

You force his tired arms up in an awkward rocking-back-and-forth swing. He laughs that his teeth show when you start complaining how he’s stiffer than the expensive couch behind them.

“Let’s tango.” You take his arms and they start circling around the room with either hand on their shoulders and next in each other’s clasp, straight forward. Sunwoo’s laugh overpowers the music as they nearly collide with the couch. Through the window frame they must look like a middle school couple.

And as if galactic alignment was truly divine; the next song on the playlist slows to a vintage soundtrack as if from an old romcom. They’re still laughing when the circles haste and all weight stills on the carpet lining.

They’re so drunk, Sunwoo can’t hold himself when your face comes so close.

“You know…” He starts.

“No.” You deadpan.

“Don’t speak.” Sunwoo complains and you fall one step backwards from laughing.

“You know, we’ve reached our 11th marriage anniversary.” He smiles drunkenly, “I think I deserve a kiss for surviving our long distance.”

“You haven’t even shown me the stars yet.” You whine and curl his hand in a weird way.

“I know, I know.” He screws his eyes, it looks like it hurts.

“Just give me a kiss and we’ll go outside.” He purses his lips out.

“Can you even name the constellations still?” You knit your eyes.

“Of course, there’s Little bear.” Sunwoo points at your nose. You contract your head and watch his finger tip with big eyes.

“I’m actually a Capricorn.”

Sunwoo’s lips curve harder as his head falls between the space created from their chests. You watch the root pattern of his hair before he comes up again.

“You’re really cute.” He smiles.

You can’t help clasp his hands and twine fingers even harder, “Really?”

He nods that his fringe follows.

“Am I cute too?” Sunwoo asks, leaning in.

You think, rolling your eyes slowly, “No.”

He pouts with big eyes.

“Again,” He flicks your nose lightly.

“Me or the flowers?” Sunwoo points at a vase beside the couch. You turn over your shoulder to see the arrangement of pink blemishes with white roots.

You pretend to think, “Hmm.”

There’s a anticipation like a butterfly on the last leaf, flickering its sheer patterned wings before taking off. Just like that, it pulses of thousand wings in both your hearts. All as Sunwoo lean in closer. Fingers laced through the other like silk and he pulls you closer by them. When the heat accumulated in the chests collide, with your lips merely touching his own. The tension weighs heavy, it might impend on the room.

The door from the kitchen beside them forces open.

Both Sunwoo and you loosen the lace and throw yourself onto the couch. A painful thud erupts from the back rest when Sunwoo crashes nape first. Your condition is in dangerous state, therefore you land about 10 centimeters too short and glide off the couch to the floor.

When the outer door closes and Eric passes by the frame, he sees Sunwoo decked out; arms hanging lifelessly and his mouth opened, supported by the backrest.

The cup in his hand nearly topples over when he rushes to stand it on any flat surface. It pulses through the floor when Eric comes down to you. A cold hand from all the ice soothes your forehead and you look up to see Eric’s fringe like a sheer curtain before his eyes.

“You’re okay?” He asks worriedly, “How much have you drunk?”

Eric takes your arm and scolds you gently. As you stand up you incoherently try to defend yourself, but quit abruptly as Sunwoo comes into the story.

Eric guided you up to the bedroom’s at second floor, leaving Sunwoo to die.

“Eric?” You lie down.

“Mm?” He flatten out the sheet above you.

“I forgot.”

Eric snorts, “Really?”

“Mm.” You insist.

Two essence divided between the mattress line in the mit; still staring at the same ceiling. Eric never leaves your side; instead insists on talking about nothing and everything while time wraps in a 4th dimension of one's mind until you can’t rhetorically answer “Mm?”.

Eric finally ceases to babble when shifting his head to your side. The pillows bud like a flower on his cheek when his body completely draws to your field. He knows you will probably feel like shit tomorrow morning, but for now you lie neatly above the creases like white flower of a heaven’s cross field.

The incredible magnetic field of your essence seems to draw in more admirers than just himself, Eric understands. He barely convinces himself that the letter is an eventual sign of their destined love, but just barely.

I can’t know who you dream about as you sleep soundly right now, he thinks while admiring. A face or two flashes before him and Eric sits up. Quietly look at the framed picture on the wall before back down at you.

For now, he’s in denial.

Eric takes one hand off your side to lay on your stomach. His bare fingertips dare to soothe out nothing’s on the cheek just to feel your warmth. He hesitates for a second, but before fully walking off the bed and closing the door; he bends down to kiss your cheek, just gently.

06 . CHAPTER SIX

( monday, midday )

The day has finally come–or not come as in an anticipated date set in stone from the past–rather Hyunjae woke up and felt courage. The last weeks they’ve seen each other nearly every afternoon, and for each time he imagines himself having persuaded you a little closer. And the last beach party seems to have been the silver lining for his confidence to finally confess how he feels.

This afternoon they will meet on the track field for some regular training, but what you don't know is that he will be asking you to be his girlfriend, seriously this time.

Though, between the lecture times, staring at strangers from the row tables; he consciously realized he doesn’t quite know what you like. Or of course, he knows you like astrology, biology, cat’s, exercising but just enough that you can walk guilt free home to the bed. That you always walk around with a first aid kit, and like a mother bandage burnt skin or wrecked ankles.

But none of that is of use when your heart is supposed to flutter at his mere sight this afternoon.

So at a table in the cafeteria; Hyunjae takes the opposite chair of a round table where Eric sits alone. Enticed in his own world; he jumps when the chair creaks of his weight.

Hyunjae figured it was just to ask Eric, your best friend for advice. The older may stand a ruler inferior in emotion to Eric than Juyeon, but nonetheless they have spent many house parties together, jumping off the high roof or throwing pillows at the third.

Eric always looks at him with a smile, nearly identical to his own. But right now, the red blisters' contours wave lower than what it usually does. His eyes adverts between the sad glass divide over the sandwiches and Hyunjae. But the older forces it in an identical manner to the left.

Eric nonchalantly told him he doesn’t know what you would romantically like from him. Hyunjae complained saying he should know since they’re best friends, but Eric reiterates his line, “Yeah, just friends.”

Hyunjae doesn’t cease from the chair, neither his voice. Eric looks at the sandwiches again and guilty bruises his fingers underneath the table. In Eric’s eyes; Hyunjae could win over anyone by just slowly articulate every crook of their name.

It’s not to admit that he’s threatened, Eric thinks. To rationalize the frustration he theorize Hyunjae hasn’t taken enough of a time to get to know you.

Eric’s never been evil. His moral compass holds him on the sane lane; even when emotions begs to pull the other way. But right now, while in silence, the magnetic field of the Earth pulls on the arrows.

“Okay.” Eric puts down the drink. Hyunjae leans in attentively.

“She wants a big, HUUGE confession. You know, those in rom coms where the guy comes out with a huge boombox and gives her flowers and has a big sign.” Eric takes his arms up in the, above his chest in height with his hair. To visually stun him he waves his hands down like confetti and shakes a hypothetical boombox. All while Hyunjae’s expression all visually gets more nervous.

“Okay.” He walks up without looking at Eric. Head deep down the floor as if thinking.

( monday, afternoon )

The white streaks wrapped as a present lining across the field is the same as every time he walks past. But even when the scenery is familiar to his conscious, the heart anxiously breathes in quick patterns. It causes invincible scratches at the inner side of his hands while his eyes can’t hold a scene for longer than a second. There’s a couple walking past the fields down the west campus; Hyunjae’s head follows them until their backs are a mere blemish along the sidewalk.

With his hand tightly knitted behind his back he looks at the grass growing up from under his shoes. Suddenly he looks up again.

Like the world just ended; the sun’s growing, tearing all the accessible and it rounds the golden halo. You’re just left in trance watching how it all beautifully collapses. That’s what your presence does to his troubled heart when your upper body comes up the staircase.

You wave with your free hand as you see him at the center of the rectangular land. Hyunjae doesn’t mirror it, instead refuses to change any position. You tilt your head in wonder for a moment, but nonetheless carry on towards his figure, until there’s just a meter across.

“Hi, Jaehyun.” You say gently.

“Hi, Y/n.” He shifts his head so that a part of hsi fringe falls forward.

You turn to see his side profile, as if he’s sick. With concerned woven shape of your face, you ask, “Are you okay?”

An awkward tenderness in his fronting psyche. To touch his shoulder might cause it to splinter in its frozen preserved state. Hyunjae clasps his hands that’s still behind; gaze your face as if though you were the first he’s ever seen.

Silence insists to frustratingly exist after your question.

When a scene of the entire world, flipped in your eye; he breathes in and falls with one to the grass. His hand trails as if cold to the pocket and takes out his phone, turning the speaker outlet in your higher direction.

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world, Y/n?”

A bouquet in pastel silk tightly concealed in a ribbon of a darker shade.

“Hold on.” Hyunjae drops the mobile to the ground; the music practically disappears as it swallows by the grass.

All eyes on the thin space of his front pocket as he struggles to let loose the bits of red paper. At last some gather in his palm and he throws it up in the air as enthusiastically one can without a canon. The flowers now fully extended as the last bits of craft paper adorn his head.

A sore spot on his left knee aches under this weight. The teeth of his smile, slowly together as he bear witness to your expression, blinking cause your lips are opened but stunned. Though he can’t read good or horrible. As he starts tilting from instability he clenches the flowers tightly.

“I didn’t find a boombox, and the party store was closed.” Hyunjae looks behind you instead of up. Embarrassingly wonder if you would have wanted a grand confession in the college cafeteria. He won’t say it, but in all honesty he didn’t have the guts for that.

It feels like you’ve seen this scene before; in some movie lost to time, you’re sure it has crossed you once. The sad petals taken by the wind, fallen on his shoulders or thread beneath your feet. But still might be the most soft of all thousand interactions of your life.

Hyunjae seems embarrassed, you can’t fully tell; he looks at you from passages but sways towards the right at the end. How the past and present crashes at once to see him fully and clearly without cover. He’s such a vision that this should flutter all the lonely parts in the arch marrow body, but nothing goes off.

It’s like standing on the fourth of may, but no fireworks light up.

You finally smile gently, still eyes on Hyunjae. His expression waits for even a whisper, but instead a hand crosses between the fragile space. Yours takes his wrists, behind where the fingers cross the stems. Gently tugging him up from the grass as the last bits of paper rock down his shoulders.

“It’s really lovely, Jaehyun.” You smile and he’s finally up.

The space opens again.

“But I can’t.” You look at him as both lips synchronize withers.

“I’m sorry.”

A heavy wind brushes past; lies a weight on your hearts. Hyunjae, who has never once been the one pushed away, hears lone footsteps echo in the boned structure. It’s a bit embarrassing, it’s a bit sad; he feels like he maybe shouldn’t have said anything.

You see in full vision how his mind travels elsewhere. Still with flowers and the barely audible mobile that now has changed track to a mellow love song of 80s nostalgia. How depressing everything suddenly became.

“I still like you, Jaehyun,” You break the silence, “You were honestly a lot nicer than I originally thought.”

He looks up.

You smile weakly, “When I saw you on campus I thought you flirted with every woman and acted all big.” You gesture with your shoulders and Hyunjae laughs slightly.

“But you’re actually very kind.”

He reaches out the flowers once again. You look up at him with eyes, x-ed expression.

“It’s still your flowers, I want you to have them.” He says gently.

You hesitate but he shakes them in front of you. Once loosen on the tensioned shoulders; you take one hand out for the stems and look at them closely. Deeply pink with faded inner circles.

( wednesday, afternoon )

That table at the cafeteria where they always meet has been occupied two days in a row. You come by between classes and yearn through the window, but at last; there’s always a shirt in a color Eric wouldn’t wear sitting in his place.

At the changing distance through the evening, at the lone table beside your bed; all those papers in painful yellow highlight, tire sore eyes and vision yearns for the computer at the other side. Watch the letter box they communicate through everyday, but is now quiet.

You’ve messaged Sunwoo through facebook; asked him why Eric ceased from Earth. He answered through digital letters that he’s busy, but truthfully Sunwoo knows better than anyone Eric scatters to avoid you. Eric won’t fully admit why; the closest to a confession Sunwoo got was a bleak understanding of inner guilt over something.

“You’re sad.”

You turn to the left where Juyeon sits with curious eyes before the library shelves. Side by side at the communal computers; he has watched you stare at the search page for four minutes without intervention.

“Do you want to go and see the cats?” He asks gently.

You sink down on the table. Hands curl up at the keyboard while the wooden surface catches your chin.

“No, but thank you, Juyeon.” You say tired.

“Is it Eric?” He asks, leaning down.

You nod.

“I don’t want to hurt him, I’m afraid we won’t be friends anymore.” You pause, “I don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

“You should tell him that.” Changmin peaks from behind the computer, opposite you and Juyeon.

“Honesty is always valued.”

“You know, whatever it is..” Juyeon speaks from the right side, “at least having it said will lift the weight off. You have an assignment next week, right?” Juyeon points at the screen.

“Eric would make fun of you for worrying about boys instead of studying.”

You smile weakly.

07 . FINAL CHAPTER

( saturday, evening )

Edges of sharp stone scratches against your old bicycle. Those few streetlights with meters in between emits across the gravel. On the path from your old house, it was quiet like it always is in family neighbourhoods. But as you come closer to Eric’s old house; ruptures in form of music and laughter leak out the open windows.

You had to stay longer in the library working. Time passed like it never does when one’s bored, and suddenly you had missed the first train and waited for the other. It isn’t too far out your old neighbourhood, just a few stations that with each passing minute gets dimmer and dimmer because of lack of lining lamps.

Running the last passage to your front door to take the bike, and now you’re standing at his post. The same sign that hangs on the door, rusted of all year’s weather, intimidates you serenely.

At last, with one foot you force down the supporting metal where all other bikes stand. Close eyes on the handle while the laughter is still muted.

It has never felt so hard knocking on his door.

The blurred window at the roof of the door; you stare at it when finally knocking. Anticipation hugs your knees painfully as you take a step back. Look at all places except the white door. Drag your hands along the clothing fabrics as if it’ll obscure you.

Speakers frees from the door while you feel like running towards the woods.

“Welcome in!”

You don't recognize the man holding this door you’ve walked through since five. His expression contrasts your neutral one. There’s a red cup in his hand, he asks if you want some; you thank him, but reject.

As you come in line with each other through the hallway with mountains of shoes, you look at his back, insecure, before speaking.

“Do you know where Eric is?”

He turns, “Hmm..” Scratching his nape and leaning toward the opening frames of all the different rooms.

“I think he’s in the living room?” The guy points further into the apartment, you thank him.

Despite all open windows and meters of space; the air is horribly suffocating. People sit two and two, talk in five’s, and a path like pattern goes through the crowd. You let it take you, hoping it somehow brings you to Eric.

Your feet, that still have shoes on, cease to motion diagonally towards a large couch group. Between all those mere strange faces you’ve may seen once; a face so deeply dissected and remade sits in between. He’s at the center like the sun itself, and people gravitate towards him.

Somehow you would go back to your corner, sink down quietly. But you’ve been running for too long. Hand behind your back, wrists rope tied while your conscious threats to slaughter from behind, push you forward.

“Eric?” You say above the laughter, and his couch group turns towards you.

You swallow when his expression changes to something calmly unreadable, “I need to talk to you.”

A filter falls like a sheer cover of snow when he closes the door. They’re alone behind the house, blue illumination like an upside down universe highlights you from below. Neither Eric or you had said something, but it wasn’t noticeable until the world ran out of sound too.

Eric’s silhouette leaves your side and sits by the edge of the pool. With his barefoots into the galactic mirror, his face shades and colors like the moon. You too walk to the edge, sit by his side and see his legs make waves throughout the water.

He’s unfamiliarly quiet; similar to when you know something someone else doesn’t.

“I think I like someone, Eric.” You say gently without wasting.

He looks at you, soft and tender, “You do?” He smiles.

You smile too and nod.

His feet make water soar before becoming whole again. Your fingers tear at the concrete lining the pool.

“...and I’m not sure he likes me back…therefore it can’t be you.”

Heavy silence like the Universe itself weighs over them. World’s full of life, yet there’s an empty echo in the marrow arch of your cathedral body.

Eric gazes at the transparent surface of the water, smiling weakly because it’s the only thing right to do.

“Though, I still love you, Eric.” You lean towards his shoulder. Tear his side profile like you beg it is not the last time you see it.

“So much as you can possibly love someone, and a little more.”

He looks up, fringe falling, “It’s okay, I know.”

Voice fragile, so heartbreaking against the smile that could light up the entirety of the solar system. He’s like the pool beneath, a galactic universe tightly compacted into a pond.

His mere existence makes your eyes glisten and words frail, “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

He smiles and takes your wrist, “Why are you saying sorry, princess.”

They both sit there for a moment. The constellations pass a centimeter above the bended celestial before you walk up. Half disappear behind the wall while Eric is left at the pool edge. You can’t bring yourself to leave; having one eye on his back as if it'll fall when you go.

Eric looks back to your wall suddenly, like he knows.

“I’m sorry.” You say it again, nails exhaustingly tearing at the house.

Eric shakes his head, waving you off gently before speaking quietly, “Go get your prince.”

Stones shatter beneath the weight of two tires. All houses are drowned in nightshade glistens of warm lighted windows like the stars above, that is childhood.

Grass divided into squares lined with fences; streamline, down the gravel path until it opens up in a wide circle. You know this place because here’s where everyone always met.

All those gravel paths, identical to the one you just left maze down to a grass circle. The very heart of all these houses, a meter lower than the rest. You pass the path contouring it and all these strokes of green nature hinders you down. You stop with one foot off the pedal and lean your weight while standing up.

Where all distance creates a perfect cross; a boy much familiar to you lies. His own bicycle stranded a meter or two from his still body. Laying on his back with his head tilted on its forearms. Sunwoo’s completely still like midnight around him. It calms you just how water drains from head down after sunshine, but heart tears at its veins.

You found him.

To let go of the bicycle; forcing down the metal to leave it standing. Eventually you walk towards him, slowly as if you’ll scare him away.

About three meters from his feet; Sunwoo suddenly looks away from the star fields and up to you.

“Oh, hi Y/n.” He says like he always does.

You cease to stop, “Hi, Sunwoo.”

He can’t quite place why you’re here. You seem to come up in unexpected moments; take him by heart like a sudden season though he’s been admiring the trees for an eternity. It begins with your hair; how it seemingly floods down on your shoulders. Just like the jewel reflection like glitter under your eyes .

“You’re crying?”

You’re taken back by his question; taking a hand to the cold skin beneath your vision. Liquid dried tight to your complexion.

“It’s a long story,” You stutter; head turns to the ground before your expression becomes decrepit, but poetical.

“I’ll tell you later.”

After silence, you sigh; lending a bit of your worry to Earth. All the heavy mountains, all heavy oceans.

You start, “I have something to tell you.”

Grass stands in between his fingers when they lie flat against the ground. Sunwoo forces himself up while observing your expression. You neither walk closer or further; chin falling in patterns as pupils pierce onto the sight behind him or the grass beneath his feet. Only in mere passages eye contact lasts.

You open your mouth to speak, but realize you have a bad habit of coating everything in a thin layer of sugar as if feeding your words to a child. But there’s a certain bitter aftertaste in being honest.

“I love you, Sunwoo.” The words free from a deep part within. Tears off the inner skin and momentarily aches the body cathedral. He doesn’t say anything. Sitting in place, whether it’s of shock or horror, one can’t tell. To expand the details of his expression, but there’s always two possibilities to his wide eyes and space between lips. Hurriedly you continue.

“I really like you Sunwoo, I’m sorry.” You look down to the left, “I just needed to say it.” You open your arms, not like a hug, rather an impediment.

“So do what you want, Sunwoo.” You breathe in heavily while searching for the world reflected in his window.

“Just break my heart if that’s what you have to, please, just–”

“I love you too.”

“...do–what?” Your arms fall to their sides and the pupil without dimensions expands across the pearl, reaching the far edge of its colorization.

“I love you too.” He stutters more this time.

Every cosmic mass bulging on your shoulders and tearing your back convulses from behind. It like everything eventually does; changes form and frees for the roof without limit. It has compressed your lungs into tiny pulses, you didn’t even notice. Yet the milky way’s worth of celestial bodies frees from you; only eyelids show movement.

You breathe heavily while looking at Sunwoo with parted lips. He looks just as cosmically affected as you.

“But aren’t you together with Jaehyun?” He suddenly says.

You’re quiet for a second before bursting out in laughter.

“No…no.” You take your hands up before your chest and smile “You’re still there?”

Sunwoo’s still crossed brow of confusion. Neither laughing nor speaking.

“I was his fake girlfriend for the parties, but we’re not like that.”

You pause.

“We could never be like that…” You hold your arms behind your back, titling your head when a star aligns with his position.

“Not when you exist.”

He admires you deeply in the same way, one layer below. Knees have come up to his chin and he hugs them slightly while hypnotized following the last season’s breeze across your face.

You’re not sure what is supposed to happen now. But truthfully, you could live adoring the opposite like this for an eternity longer.

Though, Sunwoo has other plans.

The surface of his shoes bend down the grass as he stands. The last meters dying to collapse cease from existence; all before you even lift your head from your shoulder. Just as your eyes widen he’s against you gently. Sheer touch of his fingers across your lower face before he tilts. At last you touch and love-soul bitten sensations fill two hearts.

You look at him again after the kiss; his face so beautiful you believe he could overthrow the world.

a/ n : i kind of broke my own heart by writing reader and juyeon just being friends 😭 it took all my will power

love spectrum spoiler

have flirty/ cute dynamic in the beginning but becomes friends : juyeon, changmin

romantic storylines but do not end up with : eric, hyunjae

end game : sunwoo

tagging : @darcymariebraun-blog @sungbeam @tbzhub @sanaxo-o

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beamtori · 1 year ago

Text

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭

implied fwb!ji changmin x afab!reader

1.9k words, smut (minors dni), piv sex, porn w/o plot, switch dynamics but changmin leans dom, so much dirty talk 💀, biting hard enough to draw blood, edging, kissing, swearing, overstimulation (f. receiving), fingering/cumplay, pet names (baby, sweetheart, hot stuff, good girl, etc.), aftercare is dinner lol, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it bro), low-key manhandling, it's kinda just... filth tbh (im on my period, sue me), CHANGMINS A LITTLE SHIT

a/n: this is the most self-insert i have ever self-inserted :l if it's awful, blame the brainrot!

"This has got to be a world record."

You rolled your eyes as you walked into his apartment, pointedly ignoring the smug smirk on his face and the arms exposed by sleeves rolled to his shoulders. "Do you want to get laid or not?"

Ji Changmin closed his front door, tongue poking his cheek, but it did nothing to conceal his smile. He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "How many red lights did you run?"

Heat rose to your neck and you scowled. "I'm literally going to walk out the door right now."

"Try me, sweetheart."

So maybe you had dropped everything to get here when he sent you that blatantly obvious thirst trap photo, but you were thirsty; what could you say? It was a fucking shame he knew your weakness.

"Aww," he cooed, taking the few steps to meet you. He gently grabbed your chin in one hand and jutted his bottom lip outward. "Don't pout, baby. You know it'll only make me wanna kiss you."

You licked your bottom lip. "I get to draw blood, then we'll call it even."

There was a gleam in his eyes, the one that first got you addicted to falling into this man's bed. "Whatever you want, sweetheart."

This was what you meant by drawing blood.

Changmin's moans filled the room, his breathless, desperate "ah, ah, ah"s would engrave themselves into your flesh like you nipped at the skin on his neck. You could taste the iron in your mouth, dark and sticky, red staining your teeth and your lips as you kissed and lapped at the wound. Each bite would bloom his favorite shade of purple by morning. Your forearms braced against the bed sheets on either side of his head, your knees growing sore from the steady rocking of your hips.

Flesh stuck to flesh, his hands grappled at your body to hold on for dear fucking life as you rode his cock and marked his pretty canvas of a body for your own. Sweat glistened, further highlighted by the warm glow of the lamp on the nightstand.

"Baby, baby, baby—" he babbled as his hand buried itself in your hair to pull you out from his neck, "—tight. Oh fucking hell, you're tight. C'mere."

He caught your kiss, his blood smearing across his own lips. You licked him clean as always, humming against him as he spoke through the earnestness.

You suddenly pulled away from him and braced your hands on his pecs. The view from this angle was enough to make you clench: Changmin splayed beneath you, lips and neck bruised appropriately, a dazed glaze over his dark eyes, sweat making his skin shine. "Oh, look at you," you purred, giving him an indulgent roll of your hips.

Changmin gritted his teeth, hand clutching your thigh and inching higher. "You don't move, sweetheart, and I'll move for you," he smiled thinly and backed his statement up with a firm spank of your ass.

You lurched forward in surprise; his chuckle filled the room.

"I have power, too, you know."

"Okay, hot stuff," you huffed, brushing your hair from your eyes. "You realize you could have flipped us over a long time ago, right?"

A smirk-like grin curled onto his lips, devilish and enough to make you squeeze around him again. "I know. But you looked like you were having fun up there, princess. Plus, your tits look so good like this."

You rolled your eyes. "You're such a dude."

"Yn, I sent you a thirst trap to get you into bed with me like, an hour ago; now you're calling me a dude?"

You sighed, sitting upright, warming his cock. "True."

"Baby. Sweetcheeks. Apple of my eye—"

"Hm?"

"As much as I love that you're just sitting on my cock like your throne," he drawled, "I wanna make you cum as many times as you ran red lights."

"I didn't run any red lights—"

You squealed, your world twisting and your back hitting the sheets. Changmin grinned from over you, one large hand palming your right boob.

You were breathless. He leaned down to devour your mouth. A trail of spit clung between your lips when he pulled away for a second. "So what you're saying is you want me to edge you?" He husked, tongue swiping along his bottom lip, his eyes shining with a dark glimmer.

Genuine fear spiked through your heart. "Ji Changmin, I swear to god—"

He gave one powerful thrust, and you clung onto him as your swear melted into a whine. "The government name? Only good girls get to cum, Yn-ie. Be a good girl, hm, and moan for me."

You dug your fingernails into his back as he drove his cock into you so hard you could see stars circling. He swallowed all of the pretty, desperate noises coming out of your mouth with his own. You arched your front into him, hips lifting slightly to meet him until his hip bone smashed against you.

"That's it," he grunted, kissing you as your high approached and his thumb grounded into your puffed up clit. "Take my cock so well; fuck—me—"

You were so close, and you nodded to what he said—nodded so desperately as you dragged your nails down his back and chased that high like a fucking dog—

Everything stopped.

"You want dinner?"

He was leaning over you to grab his phone off the nightstand, the light making the sweat dripping down his chest glisten like liquid pearl. His cock was still inside you, but you could feel the impending tightening of your orgasm slowly deflating.

Your blood pressure spiked. "What the fuck, Changmin?"

He tried to hide his smile. Tried. He sat over you as he opened a food delivery app and showed you the screen. "They've got that new Hawaiian restaurant and that fried chicken place you like."

"You are such an asshole." You draped your arm over your eyes, pussy clenching around him as if that alone could get you back to bliss.

You felt him shift, and then he was laughing fondly, removing the arm from over your eyes and pressing kisses to your face. "Aw, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know you were close; just wanted to tease you a little bit."

You glared. "You're fucking evil."

He grinned. "Clearly you like that." He kissed a trail from your nose down to your ear, murmuring, "Like calls to like."

You bit your lip and tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "Please, can I cum?" You didn't know where it came from, but you knew he wouldn't resist the pleading, because as he had said, like called to like.

A kiss right below your ear. "Well, aren't you sweet when you're desperate? Whatever you want, baby."

You sighed as he brought his lips back up to yours—thank fuck. One of his hands curled lightly around the side of your neck, the other wrapping around your right thigh to hike your leg up. His cock dragged through you at a slightly different angle, and you squirmed, hands clinging onto his shoulders and back.

"You wanna cum, baby? I'll give you what you want."

He groaned into your neck, teeth nipping at the skin there like he was grounding himself. Cock bullying into you, hand around your neck, the pressure so sweet and delicious. You were going start seeing things, your throat was losing breath as you begged for sweet, sweet fucking mercy.

Changmin suckled on the joint between neck and collarbone. "So good for me, huh?—dropped everything to see me—" He moaned into you, the sound urging you over the edge.

"Changmin," you cried out desperately. Closecloseclose, oh my god, you were close. "Changmin, baby, please. I'm so close—fuck."

Sweat dribbled down the slope of his nose as he hovered over you and continued to fuck you through until you were leaping over that cliff of pleasure—literally throwing yourself—thighs shaking in his grasp. You let out a loud whine when he didn't stop moving inside you; he was still rock hard and he locked your ankles at the base of his back to curve his cock up into you.

You clawed at him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"My good girl can give me another, can't she?" His nose nudged against yours, a sharp contrast to the obscene sound of his balls slapping against your skin and the wet squelches of his thrusts. "Came all this way just for me…"

He brought his hand away from your neck to draw brutal circles around your clit, desperate to feel you clench around him again. His eyebrows creased, coaxing another orgasm out of you as he chased his own.

"Changmin," you stammered.

"Gonna come for me?"

"Yes," your breath came out in a delirious pant, pussy deliciously overstimulated. "Gonna come, gonna come, Changmin."

You were quivering around him again, incoherent thoughts half-babbled and half-moaned. The tension in your belly was mounting faster and faster now, and you could feel Changmin's thrusts getting sloppier. The tension snapped, and you drowned in it. You cried as you clung onto Changmin's form and he stilled, emptying out ropes of warm cum into you and making you squirm again.

As you both came down from your highs, he pressed his lips to the sides of your neck, eyes closed in a blissful daze. "Fuck, I owe you dinner for that. Shit."

You shifted uncomfortably as he slowly pulled out of you. "I did bite a chunk out of your neck," you exhaled. Both yours and his eyes wandered down to where your bodies met, your folds a mess of your combined fluids.

You saw him lick his lips, eyes glued to your cunt. "Earth to Changmin," you chuckled, poking his dimple.

His eyes shot to you for a moment before he was dipping his finger into the mess, swirling the cum around and pushing it back into you.

You mewled. "Dude," you shivered as the girth of his fingers filled you.

"You did not just call me dude when I'm pushing my cum back inside you," he grinned, crawling back over you and sealing off any chance at a response by kissing you. Your hips pushed into his hand, grinding against his finger. "Mmh, greedy."

You playfully pushed him off you. "Off, Changmin."

He laughed, but obliged, pulling away and helping you sit up. He took his cum-soaked finger and stuck it in his mouth to clean it. "Okay, but for real, do you want dinner?"

You grimaced as you moved yourself onto your knees to shuffle over to him and inspect the nasty little bite you left on him. "Dinner sounds good. Whatever you want." You frowned and gave the blooming bruise an experimental poke.

Changmin hissed low under his breath while he perused the delivery app on his phone. His hair stuck up in weird places and he ran a hand through it. "Whatever I want?"

"I did a number on you," you muttered. "Lemme clean it up so it doesn't get infected."

"It's all good, sweetheart; I got it. Just sit and rest." He shoved his phone into your lap and disappeared into the bathroom before you could object. You found a comfortable position against his headboard and decided on a place you knew the both of you would like.

From the bathroom, you could hear his whistle. "I'm almost sorry I have to cover this one up," he marveled, inspecting the bite mark. "If you hadn't drawn blood, I could leave it out for people to see."

Your heart leapt. "So people know you're sleeping with a vampire?" You joked half-heartedly.

"Well, sure," he mused. But he turned his head to send you a wink. "But also so people know I'm taken."

a/n: the ending is for ME, OKAY? :')))

tbz m.list

#the boyz smut #the boyz x reader #ji changmin smut #changmin smut #the boyz fanfic #the boyz oneshot #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz drabbles #ji changmin oneshot #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin imagines #ji changmin scenarios #ji changmin drabbles

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gluion · 7 months ago

Text

finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin

ji changmin x reader

with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, gender neutral reader, some depressive and insecure thoughts, hurt/comfort, the last five years story-telling method (aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward... i hope that makes sense), brief mention of blood from picking on your skin, tiger parents so... parental issues, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, jealousy remains but love triumphs, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all

word count ➵ 15.7k words

playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by reneé rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth

a/n ➵ it's finally out! this is my submission for @deoboyznet's the love letter collective event! this work is so so personal to me on so many levels so i hope you all love and treat this fic with care :')) for the bitches who struggle with parents and dreams.... this one's for you (i am in the same boat) i appreciate everyone who's been so patient and looking forward to this fic's release. i'd like to thank @hcuyk for being a betareader for this fic! i also want to dedicate this one to @sungbeam and @wavesmp3 <3 your works inspire me so much and i think this fic is a product of how much they've influence me. hanbin's version is now available! please don't forget to reblog and leave feedback!!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

present -> three weeks after the interview, 2024

the newsroom never sleeps. the rings of landlines and clacks of keyboards bounce off the four walls. through light bulbs or sunshine, light continues to remain. and at every corner, a journalist stands—ready to enter the depths of slumber but remain on their toes as they await for an update on their unraveling story.

but the newsroom is rarely busy unless there’s a major nationwide event, election season or the super bowl to name a few, for most journalists are out to discover what the world has to offer.

knowledge doesn’t only come from the chitchat of your coworkers. it’s only on the field that you’ll hear of hearsay and testimonies. after all, the choice to probe rests on your shoulders.

“there’s a typo over there.”

“huh? where?”

“over here,” you mumble as your finger darts to point at a section on the screen. “it’s supposed to say “in their climactic performance on road to kingdom,” not climatic.”

“ah, i see it now. sorry about that,” lee jihoon of digital development says as he corrects the error. his hair is disheveled from the hood that once perched on his head during the night he spent in the newsroom. you would’ve scolded the guy—go home and take a shower before you stink up the place—but you are no better, grouped with the other journalists who stayed up in the office.

“there we go. should be all good. now, are you ready to go through the profiles?”

an exhausted chuckle departs from your lips. “yeah, let’s go—”

“what’s the update?” life and arts editor kim namjoon—your editor—comes to you with a smile.

the grey hoodie he wears paired with comfortable jeans shows that he’s a little relaxed. for once, you don’t see him on his phone, battling the deadlines or getting pitched stories by the other editors. it’s a nice sight but one that won’t last for long.

“we just finished going through the article about the group, so we still have yet to go through the profiles.” jihoon then looks at you. “i can’t believe you basically wrote 12 articles. like, 11 profiles and one main article is a lot. you didn’t want to work on it with anyone else?”

once namjoon stands beside you, you bump your shoulder against his figure. “i didn’t have a choice, did i?” it’s a rhetorical question but one your editor still chooses to answer.

“unfortunately, we’re understaffed, but it seemed like you got the hang of it. i wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.” namjoon shoots you a smile before redirecting his attention back to jihoon. “and as much as i’d love to tell y/n more, we have to pick up the pace.” without any further questions, the three of you resume with work.

there’s no time to waste in the journalism industry. still, his praise doesn’t go unnoticed.

one article turned into eight done in a matter of 30 minutes, all with the help of three pairs of eyes to go through them. (namjoon seemed to carry the heavy lifting. after all, the guy was trained to be quick in reading and spotting errors.)

it should’ve been easy to keep up with your editor for all the other articles; you know each profile like the back of your hand.

then, the face of a boy who you once knew sits on the screen.

his gaze seems to pierce through your soul, almost in the same way you last talked to him. the loose ends of composure slip through your fingers; your breath’s stuck in your throat as the hammering of your heart fills your ears. yet, he stands still on the monitor.

as your eyes drift through the passages you’ve written, every sound is drowned out. the voice of your editor fades like the everchanging seasons and the clicks of the keyboard resemble the sobs you let out in the comfort of your childhood room.

and suddenly, the hands of the clock have turned all the way back to 2014. the cubicles transformed into aisles of chips and instant ramen, and you hear mr. kim’s voice in the distance—i have some hotteok! fresh from the pan! but amidst it all, you hear the giggles of the boy, your best friend, as he rushes towards you—i’ll go audition and make you proud. as your arm is wrapped with the heat of his fingers, you almost believe that your life as a journalist is nothing but a dream—

“i knew him.” the illusion disappears within a blink of an eye. namjoon’s eyes snap towards you and jihoon stops scrolling through the website. “we went to the same high school.”

you aren’t sure why you revealed that to your coworkers, let alone your boss. it’s an old memory—your weight to carry. before you can apologize for disrupting their work, namjoon’s hand rests on your shoulder, his thumb drawing shapes into it. when you look over at him, you’re greeted by his smile. it resembles your bed after a long day of work or a slow day at the newsroom.

but it never lives up to him, whose giggles resemble nature’s symphonies. the two shots of espresso you need at the start of the day once came in the form of his warm embrace. most of all, his smile is enough to illuminate the world even through the strongest storms and times when power went out.

for the remaining articles, not a single word leaves you. before you know it, all 12 articles were ready to go up on the web.

“that’s all of it. should i still schedule them to go up around 12 p.m.?” jihoon notes as he saves the drafts.

“yeah, 12 p.m. still sounds good. thanks a lot.” namjoon nudges his shoulder before looking over to you. “let’s talk in my office.”

you don’t question his orders. once namjoon takes off, you follow him all the way to his office. as he swings the door open, you are met with the familiar sight of his workspace. hues of green and brown mix, where nature and art meet within the space of corporate.

once namjoon takes a seat on his chair, you find your spot across from him. his eyes stare off to the window. for a moment, you’re not sure what to expect from this impromptu meeting.

seconds pass and not a single word has been said—

“this place’s always alive,” your editor breaks the silence. “don’t you think so?”

you follow his line of sight. busy seoul never changes; the skyscrapers pollute the sky and the people never sleep, off to work or off to party.

“where’d you grow up again?”

you look back at namjoon whose eyes still remain locked on the city. “cheongju.”

he hums. “i haven’t been there. nice place?”

“yeah, but i haven’t gone back in a while.”

“when was the last time?” his eyes finally meet yours.

your teeth grasp the inside of your cheek. “2014, since i first left,” you admit.

“do you miss it?”

you’re not sure how to answer. the pavements you’ve scraped your knees against and the walls your laughs bounced off of—do you miss them all? or is the reason behind your laughter and scabs the one you long for?

“is that why you were hesitant about interviewing them?” namjoon’s thumbs fiddle with each other. “because of your history with him?”

now, you stare at your linked hands. maybe the silence from you is enough to answer his question but you know namjoon would never settle for a soundless answer.

“i—i’m not a good person. and even if i didn’t make the choice to leave, i—” you hold yourself back. your fingers start to pick on the skin around your thumbs, peeling it so blood can spill.

“it’s okay, i understand. you don’t have to share it with me.” your eyes drift back to namjoon, spotting a small smile that rests on his face. “it must’ve been hard to relive it all.”

the bond you have with namjoon is one that you hold close to your heart. through his mentorship, you got to learn about what it means to be a writer. the fears of being a journalist would loom over you, where questions of salary and demanding work hours would occupy your mind, but namjoon became someone who would absolve them all. he became a pillar in your life, one that provides you hope and comfort within the industry.

“so, don’t feel pressured to talk about it. but if you ever want to open up about it, then i’ll be here.”

namjoon’s giving you an exit. are you willing to take it?

you cross your arms as you lean back into the chair. “you know how i was a science major then?”

“yeah, i remember looking over your resume. and then i saw that you were part of your university’s publication.”

your tongue pushes against the inside of your cheek. “i would’ve gotten some job in that field, like, i had it lined up for me.”

“really? like lab coat and all?”

as namjoon attempts to hold back his laugh over the image, you chuckle along. “yeah, lab coat and all! it’s crazy how my life was all set for that field, but i’m here now.” you look down at your arms. “i think just facing him in a completely different field that i once used to imagine with him was just strange. but i think hearing his answers really did it for me.”

namjoon nods at your words. “care to have lunch with me?” your eyes snap back to your editor. “i’m guessing you want to talk about it, after all.”

all you do is smile before getting off your seat.

spring of 2014

the season of spring has graced cheongju; the sun gleams in the expanse of blue and birds perched on tree branches sing their songs. it’s the perfect season to embrace the wonders of the town.

while it would be a delight to bask under the returning warmth, you’re stuck within the walls of the classroom, head resting on crossed arms.

still, the lilacs have yet to bloom.

“y/n.” you quickly sit up before your eyes settle on your adviser, ms. jeon, who stands in front of the classroom. “let’s take attendance.”

with that, you’re beside her as you call out each name on the class list. it’s a quick process of saying your classmates’ names for them to respond in variations of “present,” until you reach the section of last names that start with a ‘j’.

“ji changmin.” no response.

you rip your eyes off the piece of paper, only met with your classmates who either look at each other in confusion or spaced out in their own worlds.

“ji changmin?” when you’re met with the same reaction, you’re ready to mark the student absent—

“sorry!” the doors slam open. a boy clad in a white polo and jogging pants is panting by the entrance, covered in sweat as he rests on the edge of it. “sorry, i’m late.”

“oh, it’s okay! you arrived just in time.” ms. jeon smiles at the tardy student. as you watch him take a seat, his eyes lock with yours, but your adviser nudges you before saying, “y/n, proceed.”

ji changmin made his name a few years back at a competition. the applause and roars from the crowd marked his spot in the school. others describe his movement as of cranes, standing in the middle of a pond as they do their best to minimize forming any ripples, or of elephants, swaying their trunks with control like no other.

but he’s a versatile dancer; nothing can truly capture him.

once you’ve finished marking the attendance, you go back to your seat. you’re ready to start the day with no bother but you can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

“now, you can see in these,” your art teacher, ms. park, points to the screen showcasing works from her favorite contemporary artists like kwon yongju and félix gonzález-torres, “that there are no borders to what constitutes art. and that’s not wrong because we have to recognize that art comes in different forms as we progress, from traditional painting and sculptures to digital ones.”

this field isn't your strong suit. with a greater understanding of the sciences, you struggle to create anything that could be on par with the works of any artist. yet, you enjoyed learning about every piece that your teacher shared, like unfolding and admiring something you know you can never replicate or create. still, the universe decides that they have other plans for you.

“as i mentioned before, i’ll be giving you time to work on your final assessment, which is to create an artwork for the class exhibit. for this deliverable, i’m asking that your work will be a collaborative one, meaning you aren’t working alone.” in a sea of chatter, some groans exit your classmates. “remember, inspiration doesn’t come from your own bubble! take this as your opportunity to create something that you’ve never imagined.”

within a split second, students are off their seats as they attempt to find a partner to work with. you, however, were struggling to think of who you could team up with. admittedly, you have a very different work style compared to others—even cheng xiao, aspiring valedictorian, didn’t enjoy working with you. she turned every activity into a competition against you. (you didn’t enjoy her, either.) while you’re considering shamefully going up to your classmates like a stray dog looking for anyone willing to care for them—

“hi!” in front of you stands the tardy student of today, all smiles as his hands find comfort in the pockets of his jogging pants. “do you have a partner already?”

with furrowed eyebrows, you can’t help but look him up and down. “no, why?”

“well,” changmin looks around the classroom, “everyone seems to have paired up except for us.” as his eyes drift back to you, he flashes you a smile, one that shows the dips engraved into his cheeks. “which leaves me to ask if you would like to work with me for this.”

you don’t have a choice. ms. park would never bend the rules for you. if anything, she would find a way to pair you with another student who would dread the idea of working with you. (“i’m sure they won’t mind being partners with you, right?” is what she would ask the poor student, only to be met with their retreat.)

“unless we accept a failing mark, which i’m sure we both don’t want.” it’s not like changmin had a choice as well.

“okay.” with one word, light fills his eyes, enough to resemble the starlight that grazes your skin every night. “we can meet and discuss our schedules, especially because i’ve got ap stat, and you have, uhm,” a cough leaves you, “training, i’m assuming, or rehearsals. i don’t really know what you call them.”

his eyebrows shoot up as his mouth parts open. “o—oh, yeah. i usually have training after class until 8 p.m. on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays.”

“same. my classes are until 7 p.m. on tuesdays and thursdays, so maybe we can use the other days to work together?”

with one nod from him, his dimples reappear. “great! i’ll see you tomorrow.”

before you know it, everyone finds their way back to their seats for ms. park’s final reminders. you do your best to pay attention to every announcement, jotting down every word on your planner and planning out your agenda for the upcoming weeks. yet, your eyes seem to have a mind of their own as they drift back to the boy who discreetly passes notes to kim donghan, another dancer on the team, all while listening to the teacher.

you don’t notice how long you spend staring at changmin until he turns to meet your gaze. in that split second, you look at each other—then, embarrassment washes over you. you shift your attention back to ms. park. as you drum your fingers against the desk, mentally kicking yourself over the interaction, you still can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

you look back at changmin; he’s still looking at you.

his dimples make their reappearance before he looks back at ms. park. you do the same as you attempt to listen to her ramble about banksy’s works.

(you’re still thinking about the dips in his cheeks.)

the first time you get to meet with changmin for the project happens the following week. you two had different commitments to attend to, whether it be other projects or training. and while you would usually settle to meet in the school library or a cafe nearby, you find yourself inside the empty gymnasium, sitting on bleachers while your partner stands in front of mirrors.

“don’t you think it would be nice to combine our hobbies together?”

your pencil taps against the notebook. “like, your dancing? with what?”

“whatever you like to do!” once he makes his way to you, he leans on the row in front of you with crossed arms. “i mean, do you have anything you like to do during your free time?”

a scoff leaves you. “funny of you to assume that i have free time.”

“what’s your schedule like?”

“well, i have our classes and ap ones, then kumon at night.”

changmin reels at the thought of your schedule. “that’s brutal. the last time i had kumon was back in grade 4.”

“yeah, but i’m sure yours is busy as well. the amount of time that you put into training is…” his eyes are wide, hanging on your words. it’s the hope they hold that has you say, “admirable.”

a shy smile takes over his features. “yeah, but it’s only because my family is supportive of what i do.”

then, limbs whose color resembles the void slither their way to your heart, wrapping around it while the organ struggles to beat; it’s a slow process but an unending hole that will birth from it. yet, you do your best to fight off these limbs, unraveling them one by one in hopes it will give up—until you settle for shaking them off.

you only muster out a hum.

“do you have anything you like to do during those short breaks?”

your lips trill. “i don’t know. watch something on youtube?”

his cheeks puff up, stuck in his thoughts as he tries to navigate this project—and you—until his eyes glint. “what do you do when you want to vent?”

“you sure have a lot of questions,” you comment, trying to hold back a chuckle at his curiosity. “i can just adjust to you. maybe attempt to draw, picture, or even film you.”

his eyebrows furrow. “but that wouldn’t make it collaborative. i want us to work on something that aligns with what we do.”

a beat passes.

he holds your gaze. “i want us to create something that shows us.”

inside you, a gong is struck; its sound reverberates throughout your body, from the crown of your forehead to the tips of your toes. then, silence seeps in—a moment only for you and him.

“i, uh, write,” you whisper as your eyes shift to the notebook resting on your lap.

“really? like, stories and poetry?”

you nod. “i like writing people’s stories more, but i do like making ones.” when you look back at changmin, his eyes are still filled with curiosity. “i would, like, find interviews online and try to make my own, sort of, uhm—god this is embarrassing. forget about it.”

“huh? no, it isn’t!” he attempts to reassure your shrunken figure. “i mean, you don’t have to share more if you really don’t want to, but i’d like to hear more about it.” and when his dimples appear, you almost can’t help but feel your face warm up.

“i’d make articles, i guess?” he nods along with your words. “i don’t know, it’s just interesting to hear about people’s lives and kind of create something out of it, and i like thinking about all the possibilities of who would love to hear them. like, don’t you think that some of the stories that we read hold fragments of someone?”

“that’s an interesting way to look at it.”

as you doodle on your notebook, you say, “yeah, it’s just fun to hear these stories and maybe create something out of it. or even think of stories that i could never live out, you know?” you expect yourself to be met with the bored face of changmin but his eyes remain on you.

“what if you interview me?”

your eyebrows shoot up. “you?”

“yeah,” he stands up before walking up to your row, finding a spot beside you. “think of me as your first interviewee if you want.”

the sudden suggestion has you stumbling over your words. “huh? b—but, i don’t have questions prepared. and how does this help our project?”

when his arms brush against yours, you start to become aware of the distance between your shoulders—and his face from yours. warmth spreads throughout your body, almost like you’re about to have a fever. once his open hand rests near yours, you don’t know what he’s asking.

“let me draw it out for you.” you hand him your pencil and notebook, allowing him to see your doodles. (you don’t miss his grin.) “you know, with that article you make, we can cut it up and create something out of it.” a roughly drawn sketch of a boy posed in the middle of a dance move now rests on the page. “i don’t know if a collage would be okay.”

as you think about what can be done, you perch your chin on your palm. “we can do papercut art? basically, it’s cutting up the article in a way to form an image.”

“oh, that sounds cool!”

“yeah, but the only challenge is that we can only use one piece of paper.” a sigh leaves you. “it would be impossible for me to even do that.”

“that’s why you have me.” his small smile causes wind chimes to ring. (you’re positive you heard them, even if there were no such things in the gymnasium.)

he continues to sketch out the layout of your joint artwork. “how do we feel about this?” on the paper, there are two boxes beside the figure, where one is labeled as “photo of me” while the other is labeled “an article by y/n.” your head tilts. “it’ll be a three-set piece. so, it’ll be a photo of me and your article, and in between is the papercut art that we’ll make.”

you hum. “you know, you’re very creative.” you look at him only to see that he’s been staring at you. “like, you’re inclined to the arts. i wouldn’t have been able to think of something like this.”

“you’re just as creative,” he argues back as he writes down something.

you shake your head before retorting, “changmin, you’re very talented. i’ve seen the way you dance,” his movements halt, “and you’re like no other dancer i’ve seen. if you ever try out to be an idol, i’m sure you’d do great, maybe end up on the list of the best dancers in the industry.”

but he shakes his head, going back to writing on your notebook and shutting down your compliments. you decide to not push.

“i can get the photo sometime during my training,” he says as he hands you your notebook.

“then i can have the questions sometime this week. for the article, i can have it done maybe four days after the interview. how does wednesday, after school, sound for the interview?”

he shoots you a smile before standing up from his seat. “that’s perfect! i’m looking forward to meeting journalist y/n.” you can’t help but scoff at what he calls you. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing,” you shake your head. “it’s just a silly name.” because the reality is that you had your future planned out—and it definitely didn’t involve that field.

he shrugs. “i don’t know, i think it would fit you.”

“but you haven’t read any of my works.”

“but i want to root for you in the same way you do for me. i don’t want you to feel ashamed of your works.” a fire ignites in your heart; it’s a fireplace.

you’re baffled that changmin, out of all people, now holds your secret, but you’re even astounded over the idea of him supporting you. you almost can’t remember the last time you heard such words of support. is it genuine or nothing but a facade?

“anyway, i’ve got to go. i need to catch up on some homework.” while you shoot him a nod, his dimples make their appearance once more. “i’ll see you tomorrow!” as he takes off, you’re left in the gymnasium with your opened notebook and unlocked heart. you look back down at his sketch surrounded by your doodles, but you don’t miss his little note—cute doodles btw <3

the season of spring has unfolded in cheongju; a single lilac has bloomed.

present -> a day before the interview, 2024

it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.

the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.

a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was something home cooked. something from home.

the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.

your tastebuds long for cheongju.

“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”

you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stock up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”

“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”

“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”

“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”

your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”

“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”

you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.”

“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”

the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob dashes away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.

still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.

then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.

your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.

and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.

but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.

but he bites the inside of his cheek and his dimples appear.

it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with changmin. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?

you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.

your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”

“yeah, about that…”

“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”

at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”

“what? why?”

you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”

“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”

“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”

“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”

an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”

and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—

“y/n?”

and the plan failed.

when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.

all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”

a beat passes.

“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)

you and changmin were once painted with the hues of the sun. this reunion is tainted with blue.

changmin’s fingers tense up, almost as if he was hesitating—debating—on how to approach you. his body would waver, but he never took a step towards you. “i… i wasn’t expecting to meet you here.”

“same here.” you lean your back against the checkout counter. “d—do you stay around this part of the city?”

he shakes his head. “i live around 15, maybe 20, minutes away from here. i’m only here because…” your breath gets caught in your throat. “i don’t know.”

fate. that’s what brought us here.

“do you live here?”

you nod. “yeah, ever since—” the sentence never gets completed; you and him already know.

for a moment, sorrow flashes in his eyes, but a smile shows up. the dimples don’t appear. “i, uh, i was going to get something from here but it seems like your friend is busy.”

“sorry about jongseob.” you whip out your phone and scold him through text. “he should be with us in a bit.”

changmin hums before walking to the freezer filled with different ice cream. as he looks through the selection, he asks, “do you still like twin bar?”

“y—yeah.”

“still the grape flavor?” you don’t know what to say, but when his gaze meets yours, you settle for a nod. with your favorite ice cream in one hand and a sandwich in the other, he finally walks towards you. you don’t miss the slight stagger in his steps.

changmin finds his spot beside you. there’s still distance between you two—two tiles worth, enough space for one person—but it’s enough for your muscles to freeze. thankfully, jongseob comes just in time to manage the cashier (with an awkward smile plastered on).

he scans changmin’s item first before grabbing onto your ice cream.

“oh, i’m paying—”

“no, let me,” changmin insists. “you can always treat me another time.”

you bite the inside of your cheek, thinking over the second half of his sentence. jongseob holds back from scanning the item, until you shoot him a nod. changmin pays for the food before jongseob hands them to you.

“i’ll just let you know when the pizza gets here.” his small smile is enough for your shoulders to ease and a quiet exhale to leave. a small nod is all you give him.

you follow changmin outside to the tables in front of the mart. once he’s settled on a spot, you sit across from him. he tears away the plastic wrapping of his food while you play with the ends of yours.

while he swallows what you assume to be his dinner of the day, you’re left to swallow your own pride.

“i’ve seen your performances.” his chews halt. “you’re—” captivating. “you’ve improved a lot.”

with one gulp, a shy smile takes over his face. “i still have a long way to go.”

“you always say that, even back then.” a half bitten sandwich now rests on the wrapper. “but i admire your drive.” always have.

while a different version of changmin sits across you, the one you knew back in cheongju still lives. in the busy, unfamiliar expanse of seoul, meeting 10 years later, he’ll never be stranger. you could never treat him as such, even if you wanted to.

“there’s always room for improvement,” he says.

you hum along with his sentiment. “did you stick with early childhood education?” you’re met with his orbs that hold a thousand of emotions, some you can name as shock, confusion. a question hangs in the air—what did you deserve to know?

“sorry, i’m assuming you still went to college, which is totally fine if you did or didn’t, by the way. and it’s also okay if you didn’t stick to your major. i mean, you always talked about pursuing a performing arts degree before—”

“y/n,” he giggles, “you’re okay. i still went to college but i took media & communication.” your eyebrows shoot up at the revelation. “i thought it made sense to study something related to what i do, just the more technical and theoretical side of it, i guess. and the online classes were easy to squeeze into my schedule.” he lifts up the sandwich. “what about you?”

“uh, i ended up in the same course as well.” a hum of shock leaves changmin. “yeah,” you chuckle, “i managed to shift courses.”

“that’s amazing! i’m happy for you.”

you smile at him. “thanks. now, i’m just—” you should tell him what you do. what would be a better time to reveal that you ended up in the path he dreamed for you to be than now? “—figuring things out.”

with your vagueness, changmin only nods before munching away. if there’s anything about you that still remains, it’s that you shouldn’t be pushed to share something you didn’t want to talk about. he still knew that.

as he finishes his sandwich, you tear off the plastic wrapping of your ice cream. with the twin bar in your hands, you snap it into two before you hand him a piece. confusion paints his features, wide eyes glossing over the popsicle in your hand, but he takes it before you can say anything.

“thanks.”

you shake your head. “don’t even worry about it. it’s only tradition.”

silence settles between you two. as you eat away on your share of the twin bar, you look up to the sky. from where you sit, you can’t see a single star; the lights of seoul seemed to outshine them. and during those moments, you almost can’t help but miss the view of the starry night from your childhood room.

you glance at changmin who looks up to the sky as well. yet, one hand remains in his pocket, almost as if he’s fiddling with something.

as if he feels your eyes on him, he asks, “did you ever think about coming back?”

you halt your movements. if there’s one thing you were expecting your old friend to ask, it would be related to your sudden departure. but you’re hit with an entirely different question, one you didn’t get to rehearse the answer to in case you ever cross paths with him.

because after all this talk about your yearning for cheongju, why didn’t you choose to visit? despite how much you long mr. kim’s home cooked meals, skies filled with stars, or the presence of your best friend, why didn’t you ever come back?

if you miss home, why is your first instinct to run away from it?

and the reality is that you do think about it all the time. since you left cheongju, you drafted out how many plans to go back. you were homesick, missing the familiar landscape you spent your entire childhood growing up in. but most of all, you missed changmin. as long as you had him, you would survive anywhere, whether in seoul or cheongju.

despite how much you yearned for him during your years away, you learned that your relationship wasn’t always filled with the warmth that would grace you two every afternoon. for so long, you’ve sat with jealousy. while his family was his pillar of strength, you were met with a home that offered nothing but criticism.

the black limbs slowly ate away at your heart; the void was born.

it became easier to remain resentful. with the distance, you weren’t faced with changmin’s genuineness. yet, with time, you discovered that you still cared for him—regardless of your jealousy—because you still wanted more for him than you did for yourself.

for a long time, you resented. now, it’s only guilt that held you back from going back to him.

so when you remain silent, changmin takes it as your answer.

and for the first time, the distance feels greater since you first left cheongju.

summer of 2014

it’s the peak of summer. amidst the expanse of verdant fields, bees seek solace in the fully-bloomed sunflowers and kaleidoscope wings illuminate as they soar.

but summer is where mouths go dry and clothes cling to skin. as days blend with each other, the comfort of your bed is all you have until the season passes.

the fan rumbles against the wooden floor, doing its best to cool you, but the heat prickles against the back of your neck. the wind has turned into nothing but hot waves. with your elbows perched on the desk, a sigh leaves you as you attempt to make sense of the worksheet filled with math equations.

your room is your favorite place in cheongju. within these four walls are scattered fragments of you, from your favorite books and mangas that rest on the bookshelf to the stuffed toys that rest on your bed. book tabs stick out of your workbooks lined up on your desk and your cork board is filled with crossed out to-do lists.

and every once in a while, you would look out through your window, admiring the neighboring houses and all their greenery. as people walk on pavements, you cannot help but think about where they’re off to—are they on their way to work? did they leave an important document back home? or are they coming back to a meal and home filled with warmth?

despite the halo soundtrack filling your ears, the cogs in your brain seem to drown them out. the numbers on your paper have jumbled up. it should’ve been easy. after all, you’ve become friends with the letters who’ve squeezed their way into math. once you’ve wrapped up on this assignment, you know you’ll wake up to another set of work to do. it didn’t help that you’re stuck watching kids your age enjoy their break.

with a tired mind, you consider making yourself another cup of iced coffee. maybe another dose of caffeine will make sense of the numbers—

your phone buzzes against your table. as your eyes rip from the unfinished worksheet, you spot the familiar name flashing on the screen. with one glance at your door, you bring your headphones to rest around your neck. it takes three rings for you to answer.

“what do you want?”

“the fuck? what’s wrong with you?”

you roll your eyes as you fiddle with your pen. “i’m studying, you fucker.”

“on a sunday?” changmin’s question has you only groan. “what happened to resting?”

“i wish,” you murmur as you scratch the back of your head. “i’ve been stuck on this stupid worksheet for the past hours. it’s annoying too. i mean, i already know this topic, so i don’t know why it’s so hard.”

“awe, is my best friend suffering over kumon?”

your forehead rests on crossed arms. “yes. i think i’m going to die.”

“okay, then. i’ll take that as my sign.”

“sign to what?”

he chuckles as if it were obvious. “to save you! let’s go to mr. kim’s.”

a groan leaves you as your back meets the chair. “no, i can’t. do you know what would happen if i don’t finish my kumon?”

“uh… no?”

“me, neither. i’m not taking my chances.”

“but, you’re not even doing anything!” changmin pointing out the obvious has you rolling your eyes. “wouldn’t it be better to take a break with your best friend? i can even help out.”

as you bite the inside of your cheek, you glance once more at your closed door. you weigh it out; would you rather take a break with your best friend or would you save yourself from the consequences brought by home?

but the answer was already clear. “give me 10 minutes.”

changmin laughs before you drop the call.

it’s the smell of fresh hotteok that greets you. the quiet buzzing of the fan accompanied by mr. kim’s favorite trot music fills your ears. while the owner seems to be away from the cashier, a white, stray cat takes over, body flopped on the counter as it snores away the heat. as the sun pours through windows, coating every corner of the mart with a glow of fireflies, you know this will be a place of its own.

“y/n, over here!” a familiar voice calls out. as you whip your head to the source, you see your best friend by the chest freezer, eyes crinkled and all dimples.

now, you’re certain that nothing could ever replicate this.

you walk towards changmin, finding your spot beside him as you two look through the collection of frozen treats. “so, what do you want from here?” you ask.

“uh… i’ll be honest, i just realized i’m short on money.”

you glance through the price tags, only for a groan to leave you. “i’m short too. when did mr. kim raise the prices?”

“no clue. i thought i’d have enough to get a summer crush,” changmin complains as his eyes are glued to the coffee sorbet. “i hate inflation.”

“come on.” you fish out for the coins in your pocket. “let’s see how much we have together.” changmin does the same. with palms out, you two count through your shared funds.

“we can get a summer crush!”

“you can get one. i’ll be left with barely anything.” you look through the selection once more. “man, i really want samanco. the red bean sounds so good right now.”

defeat casts over changmin’s features. for a moment, you almost consider giving up on having a frozen treat and settling for a glass bottle of orange soda, until you spot a familiar popsicle brand.

“holy shit, it’s right there.”

“what?”

“there!” your finger points at the stack of twin bars. “we can probably get that and split it.”

changmin’s expression morphs into realization. “okay, let’s get—”

“dibs on grape.”

“dibs?” he furrows his eyebrows at you. “you can’t just call dibs. you’re doing it wrong. clearly, we should discuss—”

“nope,” you retort. a chuckle laced with disbelief leaves your best friend. to him, it seemed like you were joking around. “i made the suggestion and contributed a lot more to our shared funds.”

“okay, but—”

“don’t tell me you want the peach flavor more than the grape.” as you continue to shut him down, he knows there’s no way around you.

(plus, he wasn’t a fan of peach-flavored things, anyway. how unfortunate that mr. kim only has those two flavors right now.)

“next time, we’re choosing a flavor that i want,” he gives in. you let out a cheer before grabbing the frozen treat.

you two make your way back to the cashier and spot mr. kim slouched in front of the television, hand stroking the sleepy feline. he’s still wearing an old, red plaid apron on top of a pair of basketball shorts and a loose graphic tee which had the name of a band you’re unfamiliar with. with how he sits, you’re afraid that his back problems will get even worse. (still, you don’t say anything. he’ll only play it off and say he’s still one of the “youngins”... whatever that means.)

once his eyes land on you two, a grin takes over. “ah, my favorite kids! it’s nice to see you both.”

“yeah, it’s been a while,” changmin starts off. “y/n’s always busy with kumon.”

you narrow your eyes at the boy. “hey! you’re busy, too! you’ve been practicing at the studio almost every day!” the wrapped popsicle now rests on the counter. “every time i’m free, you’re not.”

“hey! whenever you’re free, i’m tired from training!”

“okay, let’s settle down,” mr. kim breaks up the banter. he then takes note of the ice cream on the cashier, the price showing up on the cashier. “isn’t the heat hard enough for you two to be studying or practicing?”

“yes, very much.” you count the coins once more before dropping the exact amount on the counter. “but,” you glance at changmin and his disheartened expression is enough for mountains to move, “i don’t think we have a choice.”

in reality, these were the circumstances you two had to work and live with. during the days changmin ended practice early, you were drowning in summer school assessments. whenever you managed to finish your homework, it would be during the hours your best friend was off at the studio or passed out at home from exhaustion.

“choice, no choice, people always say that.” mr. kim counts your payment before putting it into the cashier. as he takes note of what you’ve bought, he says, “everyone has a choice. i’m sure you two can figure it out.”

the only difference is that one chose this path; the other had to suffer from the decision forced onto them.

“don’t worry, mr. kim,” changmin nudges your shoulder. “i’m sure we’ll figure it out.” and when the dips in his cheeks appear, you find yourself smiling back.

maybe you were okay with the life you had to live, just maybe.

“anyway, we’ll go ahead,” changmin bids farewell to mr. kim.

you giggle. “he means we’re just going to eat our ice cream at the front.”

as you two slowly make your way out of the mart, mr. kim shakes his head. “you lovebirds go ahead. i’ll see you next time!”

“mr. kim!” you and changmin shout in unison before glancing at each other.

“what?!”

your best friend groans. “you know we aren’t together.”

“yeah! like, i can’t imagine it,” you join in.

still, the owner laughs at your reactions. “you two are so funny. just go and enjoy your ice cream.”

you roll your eyes at his words. “bye, mr. kim!”

with that, you and changmin were out of the mart and took a seat on the benches. you hand your best friend the wrapped frozen treat before letting out a sigh. “i still can’t believe this is one of the few times we got to meet up during the break.”

“i know.” he tears the plastic wrapping off. “you would think that summer break would mean we get to hang out nonstop, but i’m starting to think we saw each other more whenever we had school.”

you hum. “i know. and i had ap stat while you had training.” your eyes dart at changmin who grips onto the popsicle sticks, struggling to split it into two. “oh my god, don’t tell me you can’t split it.”

“hey! it’s hard.”

as you giggle, you reach your hand out. “let me do it.” once changmin hands you the twin bar, you attempt to split the two. for a moment, you almost think about agreeing with him. yet, the frozen treat splits into two perfectly, and a satisfied smile rests on your lips.

you hand him one popsicle, only to be met with his glare. “i know, i’m just better.”

“just shut up.” to that, another laugh leaves you.

under the sun, you enjoy the coolness of the twin bar. while you would’ve stared off to nowhere, you and changmin were here at the right time to catch civilians bustling away. some were on dates, where one would go on about their interest while the other would smile at their rambling. there were kids whose chatter could be heard all the way from the end of the block, and blue-collar men who were off to enjoy their break.

you can’t help but imagine what people saw—thought—of you and changmin. did they think of you as unexpected friends? has it ever crossed their minds that you two were only classmates who seemed to always be paired together? or did they ever think the same as mr. kim?

“you know,” changmin starts off, causing you to look at him, “i was going through college courses the other day.”

your eyebrows shoot up. “oh?”

with your reaction, changmin giggles. “i was just curious, you know? not that i’m giving up on dance or anything, but,” he licks the popsicle, “early childhood education sounds cool.”

you hum. “i wasn’t expecting that.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“no, it’s not a bad thing!” you reassure the boy. “it’s just,” you rip your gaze off of changmin and look at the playground, “i always thought of you as a dancer, you know? kind of like you were meant for the stage.” the laughter of the kids who passed by you two bounces all over the block and you can’t help but smile. “but i don’t doubt it.”

the breeze graces your sweat-covered skin. “what about you?” you look back at him. “would you ever consider journalism? maybe communication as your major?”

you’re quick to laugh at his suggestion, but when confusion paints his features, you realize it’s a serious question from him.

“no.” it’s a straightforward answer from you, but changmin could never settle with that

“why not?”

a sigh leaves you. “i just don’t consider it. i mean, i think about it,” all the time, “but not enough to consider it. plus, astrophysics is cool.”

“but is it your dream?”

changmin’s question is an easy one to answer—not at all. you’ve had enough learning about theories and making sense of the numbers. if your future is going to only complicate that further, then maybe astrophysics isn’t made for you.

but who’s to say that you’ll even enjoy journalism?

“we’ll see.” you leave it at that and changmin didn’t push for more.

because the reality is that if you ever did consider it, transform those dreams into action plans, you were terrified to be met with your parents’ disappointment—it wouldn’t only be from your lousy desires but from changmin’s role in your life.

the first time you mentioned changmin to your parents happened over dinner, letting them know you would be staying later at school to work on the final project for art class with him. they didn’t bat an eye at his name as they continued to talk about what happened during work and pester you about your progress in other classes. (art class didn’t matter to them, only the sciences and math were ones they seemed to track. still, they would criticize you if you didn’t place first honors.)

with your parents’ oversight, something blossomed between you and changmin. from there, there were more days you would get home later than usual. while you were still on top of your work, they took your late arrivals as a form of negligence.

all it took was one night for them to demand an explanation. the reappearance of him in the conversation had only caused them to reprimand you—changmin’s not like you. he’ll only hold you back.

from that day on, you’ve learned to keep his name out of conversations. you’ll enjoy what you have with changmin, even if it has to be kept under the wraps.

“how’s training?” you change the subject, trying to keep the attention off of your failed dreams to changmin’s flourishing ones.

“well, it’s a lot,” he chuckles as he munches a piece. “you already know that it takes how many hours to get to the company, and the hours i spend in the practice room are unlike the trainings i have at school.”

as his eyes meet yours, you only shoot him an apologetic smile. it was never going to be easy; you two knew that before changmin entered the doors of the company. yet, he still held on.

“you know, i never considered it before, but i like where i’m going,” he admits. “even if i’ve always had dreams to pursue dance, i want to make my family proud if i ever get to debut.”

changmin knows how to persevere. regardless of all the bruises he gets from performing complex dance routines or the hours of sleep he longs for, he knows how to hold on. you wish you could say the same for yourself.

“and you will,” you reassure the boy, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. “who wouldn’t be proud of you?”

he holds your stare and your smile falters. for a moment, you don’t know if you touched on a sensitive topic. would he shrug your arm off? do you think he’ll shut you off, maybe cut your time together short? will changmin get mad at you for something you didn’t know was wrong? would he be just like them?

“i want to make you proud.”

that’s enough to answer it all.

you shake your head. “don’t even doubt that for a second.” your arm finds it spot back to your side, and changmin’s loops his with yours.

although he knows how to persevere, he never knows when to shut his ears from the shadows.

“i am proud of you,” you tell him. “always have, always will.” he can’t help but smile. all you can hope is that he’ll listen closely to your voice.

“i almost forgot,” he says out of nowhere.

“forgot what?”

as he tugs his arm away, his hand fishes for something in his pocket. “close your eyes.” you furrow your eyebrows. “just do it!” you follow his orders. “and keep them closed, okay?” you let out a hum.

before you know it, something wraps around your index finger. you would’ve opened your eyes, confused over the foreign yet familiar material, but they remain shut.

“okay, open.”

your gaze rests on your finger wrapped in yellow and blue. it’s a finger trap—and the other end is connected to changmin. despite your tug, it still holds you two together.

it’s the warmth that fills your cheeks, the heartbeat in your ears, and your starstruck eyes that has him smile. “no matter what happens, we’ll stick together, okay? regardless of what paths we end up pursuing. all that matters is that we have each other.”

he’s filled with hope. hope for his dreams. hope for your relationship. hope for what the future holds for you two. you can’t help but hope as well.

all it takes is a nod from you to solidify the promise to the universe.

you two sit in silence, finishing up the popsicles as people continue to pass by. at one point, you heard mr. kim let out a curse over the drama he’s watching. the sun is about to set, wrapping you two in a golden blanket, and all that matters is the finger trap.

present -> two weeks before the interview, 2024

it’s no surprise to you that the newsroom is quiet. while your peers are off to gather more information, you’re with lee chaeyeon of news as she tries to meet the deadline for her article’s first close.

“do you think dokyeom will be late?” you ask as you watch her rephrase sentences.

she laughs. “when is he never? minho’s always assigning him coverages.”

“that’s true.” your eyes drift to the hallway. “i’m just hungry. he still owes me food, you know?”

“over another bet? or you saving his ass?”

“over helping him with an article,” you reveal, earning a shocked look from her. “for some odd reason, he needed another writer to help out with a live coverage, and all the sports writers and sports editor were busy handling the other events.”

“holy shit.” chaeyeon continues with her work. “i didn’t expect you to work on anything sports-related.”

“yeah, but it helped that it was a dance competition. at least i know something about dance.” you only know who to thank. “i’m going to make sure i get compensated for that. i’m planning to raise it to minho and namjoon, anyway. that’s if dokyeom would fucking come and help in explaining the situation.”

with the mention of the tardy writer’s name, he’s scrambling through the halls with his backpack in one hand and a paper bag in the other. the moment he sees you, he shoots you an apologetic smile.

“speak of the devil,” you say as you stand up straight. “why do you always show up late? i helped you with the article.”

dokyeom finds his spot beside you as he sets down the bag on your desk. “i’ll have you know that wasn’t the only article i had yesterday. i was catching up on other ones that minho assigned me.” before he can plop down on his seat, he spots chaeyeon working. “damn, tough life at news.”

“no need to point out the obvious, doofus.”

“wow, harsh,” he replies to her insult. “just so you know, i bought food for us.”

“thank god,” you exclaim as you open the paper bag filled with takeout containers and sealed cups. as you pull them out one by one, you spot your usual order from the vietnamese restaurant around the corner. “oh my god, thank you for getting me this.” you take a seat before you pass dokyeom his food and utensils.

“yeah, i know. i’m just the best.” his shower of compliments for himself only has you rolling your eyes. “but thank you, by the way, for helping me out with the article. i needed an extra pair of hands and my own editor couldn’t stand in to help out.”

“it’s fine. just make sure you help me get compensated for that article,” you say before you open the container. as the smell of bun bo nam bo fills your nose, you can’t help but let out a quiet moan. “holy fuck, i’ve been craving this.”

“i made sure to get you some vietnamese coffee also.”

“yeah, i saw. thank you.” you split the chopsticks with one hand. you’re about to mix the bowl of your favorite food—

“is y/n here?” your editor calls out, causing you to let out a sigh before you stand up from your seat.

“yes?”

namjoon’s gaze lands on you. “can i talk to you for a bit?”

despite your grumbling stomach, you give him a nod and set your food down. as he retreats to his office, you glare at dokyeom who munches away on goi cuon. “i hate you.”

“hey, what did i do?!” you ignore his attempts to defend himself as you make your way to your editor’s office.

once you swing the door open, you spot namjoon whose eyes are stuck to the screen. “you can take a seat,” he says with no attempt to look at you. you sit across from him, hands folded on your lap, while he types away on his keyboard.

the moment he hits the ‘enter’ key is when he finally looks at you. “sorry about that. i was just replying to minho regarding your compensation for the article you worked with dokyeom. we both appreciate what you did. next time though, make sure to loop in minho or me before you two start working on beats not within your staffs.”

“sorry about that,” you start off. “dokyeom only asked for my help and i thought it would be fine since i’m familiar with dance, anyway.”

namjoon shakes his head with a small smile plastered on his face. “it is fine, just make sure to inform us.” you only nod.

“anyway, i’m sorry to have this meeting with you right now but i have to leave work early today, and i thought that you’d appreciate that i tell this to you now instead of tomorrow,” he says. you hum, curious about what he has to say. “i have a coverage for you, a very, very, long one.”

over the sight of your wide eyes, he can’t help but chuckle. “it’s 12 articles,” he says and your mouth gapes over the number. “well, one main article and 11 profiles with very brief introductory paragraphs.” his attempt to ease your shocked state does nothing.

“namjoon, that’s… a lot.”

“yes, i know. i would love to split the workload but everyone else is handling other articles, and i trust you. i know i’m asking for a lot but i’ll make sure to help you out with them. it’s just that we’re working on a time crunch and i don’t know anyone else i can ask but you.”

the faith that your editor seems to have in you is like no other.

“profiles, like, those q&a transcripts?” you ask.

he nods before saying, “yes, and just a brief introductory paragraph for each profile. i’m just expecting you to put more work into the article about the group. i’ll make sure to help out with the profiles.”

namjoon’s trust should be anxiety inducing, enough to send you complaining, but you find yourself relieved. your mentor became your second-in-command; the mountain of workload transformed into a hill.

“okay.”

a relaxed smile appears on his face at your acceptance. “thank god! i was going to stress about this the whole day if you refused. i’ll make sure to send you the details about this once i’m done with my appointments, and then we can see how we’ll divide the work later on.” he types something. “we’re covering a k-pop group which is why there’s one main article about the whole group and then 11 profiles.”

“yeah, i figured that out.” this isn’t anything out of your usual articles. “can i ask who we’re interviewing? maybe i can do some research on them while you attend your meetings.” you pull out your phone, ready to search up whoever your editor says.

“don’t know if you’re familiar with them but they’re called the boyz?” you still in your seat. “wait, let me check. yes, that’s their name.”

“the boyz?”

namjoon looks at you, now met with your features that have transformed from wide eyes to scrunched eyebrows. “yeah. do you know them?”

you shake your head without a second thought. “no, i don’t think i do,” you whisper the last sentence to yourself. his narrow eyes look over you, almost dissecting you.

the walls surrounding you are painted in solid colors of pearl, almost untouched. yet, under the paint are cracks that spread like cobwebs. every burst is a testament to the earthquakes they’ve faced; no one should be able to see a single line of black amid the white sea. now, they’re filled with paste, and it should be enough to cover them all.

but for the first time, the paint has chipped and the paste has deteriorated; the different colors of cheongju seep through the cracks.

you clear your throat as you straighten your back. “i’ll be sure to research them.” you wave your phone at him, hoping to divert his attention, but his gaze remains on you.

a sigh leaves him. “okay. expect to receive the documents later in the afternoon.”

he doesn’t push any further. for now, the walls remain intact. (or appear as so.)

it was never going to be easy.

“honestly, i gave up expecting to win as we practiced,” the youngest says through tears. as they huddle, they let out silent wishes for the upcoming years. before they blow the candle, they don’t forget to express their gratitude to the fandom who stuck with them through thick and thin.

a time of celebration turned into a moment to remember their struggles. these were pockets of their time that marked their spot in history.

“oh, everyone behind us is crying!” another member points out as the camera captures the team’s bittersweet cries.

and when you catch sight of the orange-haired boy who hides his tears behind his friend, the ache in your chest starts to spread through your veins. the video cuts to his low-hanging head as his members comfort him. they knew all of his hardships—you only know a fraction.

such a tender moment happened five years ago; it’s the same amount of time between this achievement and your departure. within those years, what did changmin undergo? did his trainings waver his passion or did the fire burn just as bright as it did since he first auditioned? was he confident in his skills or was he still critical about every performance he had?

but most of all, what did he face? what did he learn? to hate? to love?

what did he go through without you?

you don’t forget to take note of their first win on your document filled with bullet points of information. while you were going to continue watching, a recommended video caught your attention. it’s a changmin focus. you don’t hesitate to click it.

the video starts off with him checking up on the fans before the performance starts. as he mimes out eating, they answer his question with reassurance.

and there they come—his dimples appear.

it transitions to their group in their opening formation. as they await for the song to play out, changmin’s familiar smile shifts into a dominant gaze.

in the same way the first notes draw people to listen, your eyes never leave the boy. his movements are fluid, like water droplets sliding off leaves. he commands the stage regardless of where he’s positioned.

changmin is meant to be on the stage—no, every stage is made for him. every crowd is meant to cheer his name and remain captive to his talents, and every spotlight is meant to shine on him.

you rest your chin on crossed arms. long gone was the bowl cut and loose school uniform. he’s grown. matured, even. yet, the moments where his smile appears makes you realize one thing: the 16-year-old boy you knew still lives within him.

as their performance comes to an end, you don’t bother to move your cursor, letting the next recommended video play. and when his vlog plays out, you realize that a fragment of his identity is a whole of what you know.

what an honor it is to have known him for even a fraction of your lifetime.

his voice is a lullaby, the same one you used to fall asleep to, so you allow yourself to close your eyes. you let go of the responsibilities for just this moment, and allow yourself to be transported back into the warmth of his arms.

fall of 2014

out of all the seasons, autumn took its spot in being your favorite. clusters of green slowly morph into shades of oranges and browns. it’s a symphony of chirps that fills the silence. while the breeze brings you comfort after the heat of summer, it also reminds you of the looming winter.

it’s a shame that autumn does live up to its other name: a season of fall.

“you’re always like this,” your mother comments. you stand in front of your parents, slumped shoulders and downcast eyes, as they hold a sheet of paper they believe dictates your future. “always so sensitive. we’re just asking you what went different. why did your grades drop?” to them, a shift from a to b+ is a threat to your future.

while your feet stand on wooden floors, a flood starts to form. murky waves crash against your legs, but you do your best to keep your balance.

“answer us when you’re being talked to.” your father snaps you out of your thoughts. “what have you been doing for your grades to drop?” you want to answer but a single sound that leaves you may only lead to blubbers that your parents will scold you for.

with your silence, your mother sneers. “i knew we shouldn’t have let you do your own things. i told you so.” she shifts her gaze to him. “what did i tell you about y/n? you know they’ll only slack off!”

“i thought we could trust them. clearly, i was wrong.” your father’s glare raises the water levels, reaching your chest. you don’t know how to swim in the foggy ocean.

“i know why.” she crosses her arms. “it’s because of that changmin boy, isn’t it?” she says his name laced with disgust.

you don’t think twice to defend him. “no, it isn’t!”

“don’t you dare talk back at me!”

“but i’m not! he’s done nothing.”

your father begins to raise his voice. “and that’s what’s wrong! that lazy boy does nothing for his studies. he clearly doesn’t care about his future.”

you always knew it would be a losing battle, but you’ll put up the fight to protect your best friend’s name. “that’s not true! he does care. he’s planning to do early childhood education for college, maybe become a teacher.”

“that job has no money. see, i can already see that you’re being influenced by him,” he argues back.

and as the murky waters rise, filling your lungs, your first instinct is to close your eyes and scream. “stop saying that about him!”

a beat passes.

“i don’t want you hanging out with him.”

“but—”

“shut up.” your mother’s words cause you to look up, meeting your parents’ faces filled with anger. “go to your room. now.” you’re nothing but a puppet for them.

was it even a battle if you always knew you were going to lose?

despite the safety of your room, you don’t let the tears flow down. you do anything to distract yourself; maybe a book will convince you that your life is only a figment of your imagination.

waves continue to crash against your body. if you let them take your body, would they send you far away from cheongju? from your parents? from the weight you were entrusted to carry since birth?

but would you allow the waves to send you away from changmin?

your phone buzzes against the mattress. with tear-filled eyes, you see your best friend trying to reach you. you don’t think twice about declining his call and shutting off your phone.

as you curl in your bed, you hope the sea will swallow you whole—the slow, burning pain that comes with drowning won’t compare to the burns that haven’t healed. but you know that the blame rests on your shoulders. if only you had studied harder, cut off hours of rest for your work, then maybe you would be the perfect child your parents wanted.

were you wrong for allowing yourself to enjoy the small breaks between classes? was the time spent in the mart supposed to be for schoolwork? should you have found yourself a tutor? were you in the wrong for not working yourself to the bone? did you not work enough?

are you not enough?

then, a knock. your eyes snap open. like a stroke of light in the middle of the dark, changmin is by your window.

you get off your bed to open the window. as the glass barrier disappears, he enters your room. “are you okay?” he spots your glassy eyes and his hands find their spot on your shoulders. “what happened?”

you break eye contact. “what do you want, changmin?”

“you didn’t pick up your phone. and when i tried calling again, i couldn’t reach you,” he starts to explain.

you shrug off his grip on you before you take a seat on your bed. “i’m fine. my phone died.” as you feel the spot beside you dip, you look at your best friend. at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows, you know he doesn’t believe you. “i said i’m fine.”

“i didn’t say anything.” for you are an open book to him.

he opens his arms towards you—it’s your move to make. then, a tight-lipped smile shows on his face, his dimples appear, and you allow yourself to fall. with his arms wrapped around you, you shut your eyes as you nestle your face into his neck.

breathe in. breathe out.

his hand finds its spot on your back, rubbing it in circles.

breathe in. breathe out.

“it’s okay, i’m here,” he says, and you allow yourself to crumble in front of him for the first time.

the tears hit changmin’s neck like a light drizzle. your wails bring earthquakes into his world.

yet, his warmth is enough to dry up droplets, and his embrace protects you as you fall into the cracks of the earth and into the depths of the world. the flood starts to subside.

in your time knowing changmin, how much did he know about you after all? had he always known of your strained relationship with your parents? did he hear about it from others or was he able to connect the dots?

because you didn’t know yourself outside of your parents anymore. did you like science because of your kumon classes? was your interest in writing birthed from a desire for validation from your parents?

are you nothing but an array of achievements and failures?

but your parents will never be satisfied; a standard too high is practically nonexistent.

changmin moves so that you two can lie down. his arms remain wrapped around you as you hide in his neck. “i’m sorry if i wasn’t there for you when you needed it then.” his whispered apology causes you to shake your head.

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you blubber out to his neck.

“and you didn’t, as well.” his hand finds its spot behind your head. with every stroke, a tear streams down. “and i want you to know that i’ll be here for you.”

in your house, your room was the only space you called home. solace built by you.

now, your home is changmin.

present -> two weeks before the interview, 2024

something about the newsroom feels odd to you. there’s nothing out of the ordinary aside from it bustling with journalists. the familiar sounds of printers and chatter from your workmates fill your ears. it’s a typical occurrence for your peers to meet their deadlines on the day itself. the tug in your gut doesn’t resemble ones formed out of your anxiety. why does it feel like one of destiny?

“where is dokyeom? i swear, this guy never shows up to the office.”

you snap out of your thoughts, looking over at chaeyeon who browses through her phone. as you shove a bill into the vending machine, a chuckle leaves you. “when is he never?”

“maybe if he finishes his coverages on time then he’d be getting enough sleep. then, he won’t be late.”

you side-eye your friend before you click on a button. “you know that’s not true.”

she sighs at the same time your bottle of iced tea drops. “yeah. apparently, if you have free time, you’re not a good journalist or some shit which i find stupid.” you grab your drink before facing her. “am i not allowed to do something else that’s not related to my job? i swear, this is why i’m single.”

“then date another journalist.” your joke earns a scowl from her.

“i’m never dating anyone in my field. a journalist dating another journalist is like,” she looks up to the ceiling as she thinks, “a long distance relationship with how much they’ll never see or have time for each other.”

a laugh erupts from you, one that may be too loud for your liking. “true.”

as you walk out of the breakroom with chaeyeon, you notice something in the corner of your eye: a brunette by the restroom. while you can’t see his face, you spot what’s in his hand and you halt in your tracks—a finger trap.

“hey, is there someone there?” your eyes snap back to your friend who looks at you in confusion. when your eyes drift back to where the brunette once was, he’s already gone. you shake your head before walking back to your desk.

the same gut feeling lingers. with a frown, you open up your article only to be met with a few comments that namjoon left last night. maybe your gut knew that you weren’t done with your work. thankfully, it’s nothing too major, and you can have them done within the next few minutes.

“there you are!” chaeyeon exclaims, causing you to look up from your screen to a panting dokyeom. “were you working on your articles again?”

“actually, i went out last night.” while you shake your head at dokyeom’s reveal, chaeyeon gasps. “yeah, i did! i actually had fun for once!”

as he nods proudly at last night’s events, she complains, “are you serious?! how come you have time to go out? i was just talking to y/n that we never have time to ourselves.”

“i’m in sports,” he points out as he shrugs his shoulders. “you’re in news.” at this point, you’re expecting the two to spiral into an argument, so you redirect your focus back to your article.

“hey, did you hear though? there’s a k-pop group in the building.” you glance at chaeyeon.

your other friend leans on the cubicle. “really? who?”

“no clue.”

dokyeom lets out a groan. “what type of journalist are you if you can’t find out?”

“yah!” chaeyeon smacks his arm, causing him to wince in pain. “says you who can never submit on time.”

“hey, i’ll have you know that minho has been understanding!”

“whatever.” she rolls her eyes before looking at you. “that means you’ll probably be handling them. i hope they’re cute so that you can finally have something going on with your life outside of work.”

a chuckle leaves you as you get back to work. “i’m never dating an idol. i’d get hunted down by their fans.”

“yeah, but can’t you dream a little? do you ever imagine what it would be like?”

the past plays in your mind. after school performances and interviews. broken-up popsicles. finger traps. a life you shared with changmin then—one you still cling onto.

yet, you shake your head as you edit your article. “not even.”

it’s a life you’ll keep to yourself.

“what’s the update?”

the three of you look away from each other, spotting namjoon who comes to you with a smile. long gone were the sweaters that failed to drown out his figure and the boxy glasses that would rest on the bridge of his nose. now, he wears a dress shirt and trousers with hair slicked to the side. there were no frames for him to hide behind.

“ah, namjoon! you’re dressed so nice today.”

with dokyeom’s compliment, he can’t hold back on his smile. “thank you. are you guys done with your articles?”

as your friends nod, you add the finishing touches to the document. “and done! i just finished addressing your comments.”

“great. thanks, y/n.”

“do you have something?” chaeyeon asks your editor, causing you to roll your eyes. one thing about journalists is that they love to know everything.

namjoon nods before saying, “i just had a meeting with some possible interviewees.”

“is this the one with the k-pop group?” as dokyeom asks the question, you can’t help but laugh as chaeyeon looks at him in disbelief for spilling confidential information.

your editor chuckles. “yes.”

“can we know—”

“no, you can’t know.”

chaeyeon pouts at namjoon. “not even a hint?”

namjoon ignores her question and begins to walk off. “good work, y/n!” he calls out before leaving you three alone.

“man, namjoon never tells us shit,” chaeyeon complains as she leans on the table.

“to you guys, at least,” you argue with a small shrug.

still, the gut feeling remains.

something about the newsroom feels odd to changmin. while he’s had his fair share of paranormal experiences, his gut tells him that there’s something in the office. yet, the tug isn’t one that speaks of danger. why does it feel like one of destiny?

“should we have a short break before we discuss the schedules for the photoshoots and interviews?” changmin is snapped out of his thoughts by namjoon’s suggestion.

his manager looks at the group. “do you guys need a break?”

sangyeon shoots namjoon a smile before looking at his members. “you guys can use the washroom if you need to.”

although everyone seemed fine with proceeding, changmin couldn’t shake off the feeling. maybe the leftover curry he had this morning went bad. “i’ll go,” he says as he gets off his seat.

namjoon slowly stands up. “okay, i can bring you there—”

“it’s okay! i saw the washroom on the way here,” changmin says before walking to the door. “you can discuss the details without me. i’m sure you guys will manage.”

with sangyeon’s and his manager’s nods, namjoon settles back into his seat. “okay then, here are some of the dates i have in mind...”

changmin exits the room. he bites on the inside of the cheek as he thinks of what his gut could be telling him. is it the nerves for the upcoming tour? is he worried about the next comeback they’ve been preparing? or is he scared about what the future has in store for his group?

with his mind on these questions, he doesn’t realize that he arrives in front of the bathroom door. a sigh of frustration leaves him. the worst thing about gut feelings is never knowing what they’re trying to say.

he grips the handle, ready to swing the door open, until a familiar laugh hits his ears. one of the past. one he hasn’t heard in years. his muscles freeze.

when was the last time he heard that chortle? when was the last time he became the cause of it?

his eyes dart around the area for the source but no one else is here. he can’t help but shake his head in disbelief.

it should be stupid for him to think you two would ever reunite. in what world would you be in the same place as he is? it’s been 10 years. you could be anywhere around the world. yet, he fishes for something out of his pocket; the same finger trap he linked you to him rests on the palm of his hand.

he sighs before entering the washroom and shoving it back into his pocket.

maybe he’ll hold out a little longer.

winter of 2014

out of all the seasons, changmin’s favorite is winter. snowflakes fall, filling the sky with stars that people can touch, and snow piles on sidewalks, letting him throw snowballs at his friends. despite the freezing temperatures, changmin prefers this over nearly-boiling ones.

he can’t wait to share this season with you.

yet, the familiar, chilly breeze of the season transforms into whispers, and word gets around like thrown snowballs.

“is y/n really not going to school anymore?” changmin looks up from his desk to see cheng xiao standing in front of him. he tilts his head in confusion, causing her to roll her eyes. “are they not going here anymore?”

he frowns. “huh? what kind of rumor is that?”

“i don’t know. it’s what people have been saying,” she says as she crosses her arms. “i asked because i wanted to know if my competition’s gone, you know? and you’re the only one here who has an idea about their whereabouts.”

changmin laughs in disbelief. “no, i was with them last week.”

when changmin last saw you, you asked for space. with what’s been happening with your family, you needed time to process and cope with your issues, and he respected that. after all, he only knew a fraction of your relationship with your parents, and he didn’t want to intrude in anything you didn’t want him to be a part of. still, changmin reminded you that he’ll be there if you need him.

“damn, that sucks,” cheng xiao groans as her shoulders slump. “these stupid rumors.” as soon as she leaves changmin alone, he shakes his head.

the bell rings. students start rushing into classrooms and teachers scold those who aren’t on their seats. ms. jeon enters the room, walking to the desk in front and setting her things down. “cheng xiao, you’ll be in charge of attendance today.”

as changmin’s classmate gets off her seat, he can’t help but look at your desk that still remains empty.

“you have to message us when you land,” your mother says as she fixes the collar of your coat. despite your nod, she clicks her tongue. “answer me properly.”

“yes, i will.”

once your father finishes placing the last luggage in the trunk of the taxi, he stands beside your mother. “don’t forget why we’re sending you there. we expect you to do better with no distractions.”

your phone buzzes in your hand. as you look down, you see a message from changmin. as he asks about your whereabouts, the weight gets heavier—will you stand or crumble under it?

“who’s that?”

you stash your phone away as you look back at your parents. “nothing. it’s just an email from the school. they sent over the date for the orientation.” at the sight of their satisfied smile, you let out a small sigh of relief.

“well, go on.” your nod at your mother before getting in the car. with the windows still down, she adds, “don’t forget to get endorsement letters from the professors i sent over to you or else you won’t get to study abroad like we planned.” her choice of pronouns is funny; a plan that they crafted which never considered your input.

“okay.”

as your father commands the driver to go, your gaze remains on the two. it should be okay with you to leave cheongju; you’d be far away from your parents and experience an entirely different landscape to explore. it’s time you break away from the chains of this town. learn a life outside of what your parents forced you into.

yet, as the car takes its leave, the figure of your parents slowly shrinks. the distance from them should’ve given you the space to breathe, a relief you’ve longed for, but it only reminds you of your strained relationship. to them, it would be better that you’re out of their sight—and with your farewell, you never heard the three-word phrase.

the window rolls up. you try to hold back the tears, but the scenery of cheongju that you pass by births a storm within you. you didn’t want to say goodbye to home, regardless of how much you say you didn’t have a home in this town. every corner holds a piece of you in the same way you hold a piece of them.

the car approaches a safe haven you share. despite the snow that piles at the front, mr. kim’s convenience store is still open. you’ll never get to have his hotteok again or hear his favorite dramas play in the background. worst of all, you never got to say goodbye.

then, the familiar figure of your best friend exits the mart, and the storm transforms into a typhoon. the plastic bag he holds is filled with your favorite snacks, from the grape-flavored twin bar to a bottle of mr. kim’s homemade peach iced tea.

and in that moment that your car passes him, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, and you spot the familiar trap wrapped around his finger—the other end holds no one.

as quickly as you came into changmin’s life, he disappears from your view.

finger traps were fascinating. if you tug hard, the contraption won’t let your fingers go. yet, if you allow the two fingers to meet, allowing the toy to loosen, it’ll let you go with no harm.

but your finger trap with changmin was different. maybe it was already ripped to its seams.

interview

q: what made you decide on becoming an idol?

a: i’ve always loved dancing. growing up in cheongju, i always made time [for dance] whether it be [for] school competitions, talent shows, or even [choreographies] i wanted to try out. but i never considered becoming [an idol] until high school. a lot of my friends and family thought i was capable, and i’m glad they trusted me. it feels good to give back to them with every performance.

q: as the first trainee meant to debut in the boyz, you’ve spent more time training compared to your other members. what kept you going throughout your years of training?

a: my family’s support was one big thing that helped me [during my training.] every trip from my house to the company would last hours, and it drained me physically. so as the years went by, i started to question if all the time, money, [and] effort i was putting into an unpromised debut would be worth it, but my parents and sisters were always there to support and [take] care of me. but i’d also like to think my best friend was a major support in training years. i think they were the first one to [tell me that they saw me as an idol,] and at the time i brushed off the idea. but, look where i am now? so i think i owe a lot to them.

q: is there anything you’d like to say to those who’ve supported you as the boyz’s q?

a: mom and dad, thank you for believing in me. i know it wasn’t easy to wait until midnight for me to come home or take care of me whenever i got sick from training. thank you for always supporting me in every performance. to my sisters, thank you for helping mom and dad out at home. every day, i remind myself that you gave up so much just so i can pursue my dreams, and i want you know that i’m forever grateful for your sacrifices. to the rest of [the boyz], thank you for always allowing me to rely on you. i’m glad i can say i have brothers who i get to achieve my dreams with. deobi, thank you for your love and support over the years. i wouldn’t be the boyz’s q or ji changmin if it weren’t for you. and lastly, thank you to my best friend. i hope you’ll always be proud of me the same way i’ll forever be proud of you.

tag list: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs @dearly-somber

#works of moni #deoboyznet #kflixnet #k-labels #dbn: love letter #bjnet #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz x reader #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin imagines #ji changmin angst #the boyz angst #the boyz imagines

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yootaesowlwrites · 1 year ago

Text

Aw, Your Legs Are Trembling - Q / Ji Changmin

A/N: I feel like Changmin was a bit mean to reader in this, just a bit, but not enough fo rme to add it to the warnings, so I’ll add it as a side note here for everyone.

W/C: 3.2K

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog. Minors DNI.

Prompts: “Aw, your legs are trembling, does it feel that good?” + “Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,”

Warnings: CEO!Changmin, employee!reader, explicit language, smut, office sex, window sex, Sir kink, nicknames, nipple stimulation, dirty talk, light hair tugging, nudism, fingering, mention of bruising, unprotected sex(reader’s on the pill).

Age Warnings: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

You stretch in your chair and hear a few joints crack from how long you’ve been sitting, it was well past the work hour, but there was a deadline coming up, and you were working late, your boss, Ji Changmin, was also still working late while everyone else had gone home early, the tension had been high in the office as the deadline was creeping closer. You add the final piece of paper to the file he had requested and made your way towards his office.

“Mr. Ji,” You say after knocking, you hear a ‘come in’ from the other side and push the door open. “I have the file you requested,” You close the door behind you and make your way towards his desk, you hand him the file before taking a step back from his desk to let him read through it. As you wait for him to finish reading it, you couldn’t help but move closer to the window and stare out over the beautiful view he had of the city, and the city look especially beautiful at night.

Changmin looks up from the file and looks at you, taking in how you looked standing there observing the view, he puts the file down and loosens his tie slightly before standing and making his way towards you without you hearing, you only realize he had stood once he was behind you, and you could feel his front pressing against your back and his warmth radiating onto you.

“It’s such a good view,” He says, his tone even as he spoke. “It seems like you like it as well,” You try to keep your breathing even, his scent was slowly invading your nose and filling your lungs, and you could feel your conscious slipping into the most nastiest thoughts. “Want a closer look?” And with that question, you move to turn around, only for him to push you up against the glass, front first, he gently moves your hair to the side before pressing his lips against the back of your neck. Your eyes completely shut at how good it felt to finally feel his lips touching you, being against you, you had been daydreaming about this moment for months now, even getting yourself off to the thought of it.

“Mr. Ji…” You moan out. Your breathing becomes uneven and the tension in the room thickens, was this real or were you dreaming?

“Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,” He mutters against your neck, his hands pulling at your blouse, pulling it from the skirt you had on before slipping his hands underneath your blouse, your skin instantly being set ablaze by the touch as his hands travel towards your breasts. “Do you consent to what I’m doing to you?” His hands cup your breasts, and you feel his fingers pulling at the top of your bra to pull it down and expose your breasts for him to feel.

“I do,” You moan out. It felt so good to have him pressed against you and touching you like this. “Touch me more,” You didn’t care if you sounded desperate. He tugs your bra down, pushing the cups below your breast before fondling them, you could feel heat travelling up your neck before feeling your cheeks become flushed with heat. “Oh, my gosh,” You press your hands flat against the glass and moments later you feel your nipples touch the cold glass through your shirt. “Fuck.”

“I will, be patient for me,” He mutters. He takes your nipples between the pads of his fingers before slowly rolling the nub between them. “You need to be ready for me first,” You could feel a sensation going down to your pussy as he played with your nipples, his nose brushing against your earlobe before you feel his lips against them. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this moment?” Your head falls back and rests against his shoulder.

“Fuck, me too,” You breathe out and reach behind you with one hand. You run your fingers through his hair before gripping onto them. “For far too long, Sir,” You feel his teeth nibble at your lobe and his breathing was right in your ear, the feeling quickly travels down to your pussy, and you could feel yourself getting wetter. You push your hips back and press your ass right against his crotch before wiggling your hips. Instantly feeling his cock hardening against your ass.

“Fuck, so needy and eager,” He groans into your ear. “That’s so hot of you,” His words were having such an effect on you and your body, you swore his words alone would have you leaking through your panties. His teeth grip your earlobe and tug on it, making you let out a whimper at how good it felt. You feel one of his hands slide down your stomach before slipping into your skirt and cupping your mound through your panties.

“Oh, my, sir…” You breathe out and tug at his hair. His fingers press against either side of your pussy lips and slowly knead into them, you lick your lips as you feel your juices moving around between your lips. “Feels so good, Sir,” He tugs at your earlobe again before releasing it and kissing along your jaw until he couldn’t get any further.

“How long have you been waiting for this to happen?” He asks as he slips his hand from underneath your shirt, you feel his hand grip your shirt at the bottom before feeling your shirt becoming looser around you as he undoes the buttons.

“A while, sir,” You whisper. “A long while now,” He reaches the final button of your shirt before pushing the fabric off one shoulder and then the other, you release his hair and drop your other hand from the glass to let your shirt tumble to the floor beneath you. “I even got myself off on the thought of it,” You feel his hand on your back before feeling your bra being undone.

“You naughty girl,” He mutters into your ear before removing your bra from you. “Did it work?” You gasp as you feel him push your upper body flush against the cold glass, your nipples instantly hardening against the cold surface.

“Fuck, it did, sir,” You gasp. Your walls twitch as the coldness from the glass spreads through your body and quickly heats up, fog was quickly building against the glass in the form of your body. “But this is better than I could have ever imagined, sir,” His fingers press down hard against your folds, and you feel your juices being pushed past your pussy lips and seeping through your panties.

“So fucking naughty and dirty of you,” He says lowly into your ear. “You should tell me about your imagination sometime,” He reaches up and grips your jaw to turn your head towards him. “But not right now,” His lips press against yours, kissing you hotly. You instantly reach back and grip his hair to keep him from pulling away, he pulls your panties to the side and slips his fingers between your folds, making you gasp into his mouth. Squelching sounds come from between your legs, and you feel his fingers slowly rub around your clit, which caused your hips to jerk at the attention your sensitive clit was getting.

You could feel your lungs quickly running out of air and starting to burn, his grip on your jaw almost felt bruising as he held you in place, tension was building up inside you with everything he was doing to you, with everything he was making you feel. His fingers slide from your clit towards your entrance, and he plunges two digits inside you without warning.

“Hmm-mmh,” You moan into his mouth and grip his hair tighter. His fingers curl inside you and slowly slide out from you halfway before he pushes them back in roughly and extends them, the palm of his hand presses directly against your clit. “HMM!” He breaks the kiss, making you both gasp for air, your lips felt swollen, and you could feel saliva spilling onto your chin. “Fuck Si-sir,” His palm rubbed against your clit as he slides his fingers in and out of you, curling them every few times. “Oh… Oh, my… S-sir,” You reach back with your other hand, and slip it between your ass and his crotch and slowly rub your hand over the prominent bulge.

“Ohh, oh, yes, like that,” He groans out. “Fuck…” His tone was low, and it was making your entire body tense up as your high was building. He pushes his fingers deeper into you and curls them, your back arches as you feel them reach your sweet spot, and you instantly saw stars behind your lids.

“SIR, OH FUCK, I!” You scream out in pleasure, your toes curl into the shoes you wore and a burst of pleasure goes through your body as the tension snaps inside you, your body shakes as you go through your high. “Sir, Sir, oh, fuck, Siiiiirrrrr,” You tug at his hair more and your hand falters against his bulge as you tried to keep rubbing him, but the pleasure felt too good to focus on anything else. “FUCK!” Your legs almost buck beneath you as you feel him rubbing that spot over and over to get you through your high.

“You’re dripping all over my hand,” He whispers into your ear, or at least it sounded like he did, you weren’t sure if he whispers or said it louder. Your body slowly calms do, and you begin taking deep breaths to try and calm yourself down, his fingers disappear from inside you, and you release his hair to press your hand against the glass to keep yourself upright.

“Fuck… Sir, that… fuck,” Were the only words that managed to leave your mouth as you tried to catch your breath and tried to get your spinning mind to work properly again, you open your eyes and look around you lazily. The glass was now completely fogged up around you, except for where your body was pressed against it. You hear the sound of a zipper being undone before hearing fabric hitting the ground along with a ‘clink’ sound, you press your legs together and suck your bottom lip between your teeth.

“It’s about to feel much more than that,” He says. You feel his fingers brush against your skin, you gasp as you feel two cold fingers and realise those were the ones inside you, his fingers dip into your skirt you feel him push it down along with your panties, the fabric hits the floor and you carefully step out of them and use your foot to push them aside, your legs felt a little shaky, and you hoped you could keep yourself upright for what was about to happen. He turns you around and pushes your back against the glass, making you gasp at the sudden cold feeling against your warm back.

You feel his hand on your hip and as it slowly slides down to your thigh before moving to the back of your thigh, his hand grips your leg before he pulls it upwards, you hear a loud squelching sound from between your legs as your pussy lips were spread open as he hooks your leg over his arm.

“Fuck, I, oh,” You whimper as you feel the cool air rushing against your wet hot pussy, you feel him press his hips against you before you feel his cock rubbing against your folds, you reach up to hold onto his shoulder with one hand while the other was against the glass, scratching at it already. “Sir…” You watch as he moves his hand between your bodies before feeling him rub his cock along your folds, lubing himself with your juices. “Oh, fuck, Sir, sir, yes.”

“Nice and wet for me,” He mutters before pushing the tip inside you. Your jaw slacks and you let out an inaudible moan as you feel him slowly push himself into you, slowly stretching your walls and filling you, your nails dig into his skin. “Fuck, taking me so good, fuck.”

“Oh, ngh, fuck, I,” You blabber out, you press your head against the window and let your eyes fall shut, your body immediately begins tensing up again as another high was being formed. He pauses once he was fully inside you, taking a moment to get used to your warm wet walls around him, that were just asking him to fuck you as they pulsed around him. “Sir…”

“Hmm,” He lowly hums before pulling his hips back and slamming back into you. Your tits bounce at how harsh his first thrust was, and you tried to grab onto something, anything with your free hand.

“Siiiirrrrr,” You whine, the sounds, the feelings, it all felt so good and yet it felt so filthy and naughty of you both. “Oh, Ohhh, shiiiit,” Your moans mixed in with his groans bounced off the walls, and you were thankful that it was only the two of you in the office building, otherwise everyone would hear just how good he was making you feel. “I… oh, uhhh,” You could feel a heartbeat forming in your clit and the leg you were standing on was starting to become tired. “Siirr,” He leans closer, pushing your leg even further open and manages to push himself deeper into you. “OHH NGHH,” His pubic bone hits your clit with the deeper angle, and you could feel your legs starting to tremble.

“Aw, your legs are trembling, does it feel that good?” He coos out as he thrusts his hips into yours, hitting so close to the spot that would make you see stars and possibly collapse into his arms from pleasure. “Should I lift your other leg also and fuck you properly against the window?” Your walls clench around him, and he lets out a low groan. “I’ll take that as a yes,” He pushes himself fully inside you before pausing.

“SIIIRR!” You scream as you feel his cock shift inside you as he picks your other legs up, pushing you fully against the window while hooking your other leg around his arm also, his hands pressed into the glass as he spreads your legs more open. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, siiiiirrrr,” Your knees were trapped over his elbows as he thrusts in and out of you, his pubic bone constantly hitting your clit. You could feel your muscles tightening up and your high quickly rushing to build. “SIIR!”

“That’s it, let me know how good I’m making you feel,” He practically growls. Sweat was building between you both, and everything felt hot and sticky. “Milk my cock, cum for me, show me what a good girl you are for me,” His words went straight to your pussy, and you felt yourself getting closer and closer. You reach up with your other hand and grip onto his hair, while your fingers managed to break the skin on his shoulder. “Fuck, yes,” He harshly thrusts into you, and then you feel it. The tension inside you snaps, your back arches against the glass and your toes once again curl inside your shoes.

“SIIIIRRRR!” You moan loudly as you come undone around him. His hips seem to move faster at the feeling and sound of your release, your walls clenched around him, milking him for his cum to fill you. “OH, MY, UHM,” Your chest rises and falls quickly, and your entire body shakes with the pleasure going through it, fuck, it felt so good.

“That’s it, make a mess on my cock,” He groans. His hips stutter into yours as he begins chasing his own high, just feeling your walls clench around him and hearing how good your orgasm made you feel was enough for him to get close to his own orgasm. “Make a mess on my office floor,” You let out a whimper at his words, not realising how much your arousal was dripping down his balls and making a mess on his thighs and possibly on the floors also.

“Sir, sir, fuck, fuck, it fe-feels so go-good,” You manage to moan out, your body was absolutely buzzing with pleasure, and it was a feeling you could barely explain. His hips snap into you and his head falls back.

“Ohh, fuck…” His moan was low as his release hits him, you could feel his cum spilling into you and his hips slowly rocking into you as he eases himself through his high. You were slowly coming down from your high as you felt him go through his, your grip on his hair and shoulder slowly loosened, and you lifted your head, opening your eyes. You blink a few times to adjust to the light before looking at him, his Adam’s apple bobs as he breathes in heavily and his hair was uneven from all the tugging you did to it, beads of sweat coated his neck, and you could see some patches of sweat against the white dress shirt he had on.

“Fuck… I, this, it… good,” You mutter as you feel his hips still against you and his cock stills inside you as it slowly grows soft. He lifts his head to look at you, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and catch his breath.

“Let me take you home,” He says and slowly lowers one of your legs to the ground before the other, you lean against the window as you feel your legs shaking. His cock slips from you and your mix releases spill from you, coating your inner thighs. “Such a pretty mess,” He takes a step back before turning around to pick up his underwear, you swallow as you watch him pull it on. What did this mean for the both of you? You watch as he pulls his pants on and zips up his pants before fastening his belt, he lifts his head to look at you before stepping towards you, he bends down to pick up your skirt. “Did I leave you in such a daze you forgot how to dress yourself?” Your lips part and you look up at him. “Hold onto my shoulders, and I’ll help you,” You reach up and grip his shoulders before lifting one leg and feeling him slip your skirt over it before switching sides. He pulls your skirt up to your waist before picking up your panties and tucking them into his pants pockets. “This is mine now.”

“Sir, I…” You begin to say. You push yourself away from the glass and feel the mess between your legs slipping down your thighs. “I’m going to need that,” He picks up his blazer and slips it on.

“It’s late, let me take you home,” He says and makes his way towards the door, you swallow and follow behind him, fuck, the mess between your legs was so fucking distracting, how were you supposed to keep yourself composed, and sit in his car… Sit in his car… without.

“Sir, your seats…” You softly mutter, hoping your words would convince him to give you your panties back, but it is like he hadn’t heard you at all and continued walking. Moments later, you found yourself in the passenger seat, pressing your legs together as you felt the mess seeping into your skirt and possibly leaving a mess behind on his seat.

184 notes · View notes

twinklingstar1ights · 7 months ago

Text

Beat Again

Changmin Summary: Your heart has just been broken by your ex. Then you meet Changmin who wants to fix it. (non-idol au) WC:~2.8k Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

“Come on y/n! It’s been three weeks, you can’t mope in bed forever. He’s a bastard, don't waste time being sad over him.” Your friend pulled your arm in an effort to get you out of bed.

“He’s also my first love, highschool sweetheart, and who I delusionally thought could be my one and only.” You buried yourself farther into your bed sheets. Your friend sighs.

“Yes I know, you loved him wholeheartedly, but you have to move on. Come out with us tonight please? We all miss hanging out with you,” they plead.

“I don’t drink. Why would I go to a bar?” you refused

“Because they have really good food and your friends are going, please?” Your friend shook your hand.

“Mmmh…no” you state.

“Fine, let me rephrase. Either you get out of bed and get ready or I’ll drag you there wrapped up in this blanket burrito,” they told you.

“You wouldn't,” you said. Right after the words left your mouth. Your friend is wiggling their arms under your frame and lifting you up.

“Aye! Stop! Stop!” You fought back, making both of you end up on the floor.

“Now will you come on your own or should I start dragging you.” Your friend grabs a hold of the blacket you’re now tangled in.

“I’ll go,” you surrendered. “Let me go get changed,” you grumbled, untangling your limbs from the blanket.

“Be quick, y/f/n is already there,” they called after you as you went to go change.

“Sweats, really? Not even jeans?” Your friend disapproved of your outfit.

“I will go back into the blanket burrito,” you threatened.

“You look great. Let’s go,” they quickly changed their tone and came over to your side to usher you out of your room and apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/n! You’re here! How did you do it?” Your other friends are quick to come and squish you in hugs.

“They literally dragged me out of my bed,” you say, shooting your friend a glare.

“I did what I had to do,” your friend says shamelessly. Your friends lead you over to the counter of the bar, where you each took a seat on a stool.

“Changmin this is y/n. Y/n this Changmin, he owns the place.” Your friend introduces you to the guy on the other side of the counter.

“Nice to meet you,” you greeted him.

“Likewise.” He smiled at you.

“The entertainment has arrived.” You hear some guy announce.

“Oh y/f/n is here too,” another guy notes.

“These two your friends?” another one asks.

“Yes this is y/f/n and y/n.” Your friend points to either of you.

“The one going through a breakup?” one checks pointing at you.

“You talked about me?” You looked at your friend with a look of betrayal.

“It’s not like that,” they quickly defended. “They were asking me why I haven’t been around,” they explained.

“I never stopped you from coming.” You leaned forward, resting your head on your arms.

“I know, but how could we leave you alone when you were so upset?” they say.

“We’ll go set up.” The three guys excused themselves. You learned their names were Chanhee, Kevin and Jacob.

Later you left alone on your barstool while your two friends went to go watch Chanhee, Kevin and Jacob’s set. Your phone rang, an unsaved number displayed across your screen. At first you thought nothing of it simply declining the call, but then the number called you back again and again. Now you know who it was, your ex. This is partly why you’re having such a hard time moving on because he keeps calling you. A sigh leaves your mouth as you reject his call for the fifth time.

Changmin easily picked up on the sound of your ringing phone. He didn’t think anything of it initially, but then he saw the annoyed look on your face and he put the pieces of the puzzle together. Your ex must’ve been calling you. He finished serving his current customer then went over to where you sat on your stool.

Your phone rings for the seventh time and you're ready to turn your phone off. You would just block the number, but it’s hard to do when the phone keeps ringing. Before you can decline the call another hand reaches for your phone, it was Changmin’s.

“What are you-”

“Hello,” he answered the call. “I’m Changmin. Why are you calling?” You listened as Changmin talked to your ex. “Why would I tell the girl that I’m seeing that another guy wants to talk to her.” Your eyes widen at Changmin’s words. “Leave her alone. You two aren’t together anymore. Stop calling my girl.” With that Changmin hangs up your phone and slides it back over to you.

“Thanks,” you say, sounding a bit awkward.

“It’s no problem. Are you ok?” he asked. You’re taken back a bit by his question.

“I’m fine. It’s just annoying,” you reply.

“Want to talk about it?” he suggested. You shook your head.

“I’m sure you get bored by plenty of strangers telling you about their exes,” you say.

“You’re not a stranger. You’re a friend of y/f/n, who is also my friend,” he pointed.

“I guess but-”

“I’m also nosy. Tell me about your ex,” he interjected, making you laugh slightly. It was the first time you laughed since the breakup.

“He’s my first love. We met freshman year of highschool and started dating during sophomore year. We dated through the rest of highschool. After graduation he was attending college abroad, but we agreed to do long distance. It wasn’t a hard decision because we loved each other a lot.” You pause feeling some tears prick your eyes, but you shook them away. “So for the first year of college we did distance and it was hard, but we did it. Then he went back for his second year. I thought everything was great between us, but then I received this message from a girl saying that she was his girlfriend.” You sniffed, but continued. “I didn’t want to believe it, but she had plenty of proof. They apparently got together towards the end of freshman year. He was two timing us. I confronted him about it and broke up with him, but he’s been contacting me ever since saying how sorry he is and that it was a mistake. I blocked him, but he keeps using his friends’ phones to call me,” you finished.

“The dude is an idiot. You didn’t deserve that,” Changmin says sympathetically.

“Thanks,” you say.

“If he bothers you again let me know. I’ll handle him,” he tells you.

“For ‘your’ girl’,” you joked.

“Yeah, for my girl,” Changmin smiled.

“You two are talking?” Your friends came back over. The guy’s set had ended. Your friend shoots Changmin a look.

“My ex called me,” you inform.

“Again? I’ll kill him,” your friend states protectively.

“It’s ok. Changmin handled it,” you disclose.

“Oh?” Your friend looks at Changmin again. Your other friend tells you to come to the bathroom with them.

“You’re interested in my friend aren’t you?” Your friend pointed a finger at Changmin.

“What if I am?” Changmin challenged.

“Normally I’d support, but she just got out of a serious relationship. She doesn’t need someone new hitting on her so soon. She’s still really hurt,” your friend said.

“I want to make her pain go away,” Changmin states. “Look, she told me all about her ex. It’s not like I’m gonna actively pursue her, but I do want to spend more time with her, get to know one another better.”

Much to your friends' surprise you wanted to spend more time with Changmin too. You easily accepted your friend's offer to go to the bar again.

“Wait, I literally had to drag you out of bed last time and now you’re just agreeing?” Your friend looks at you with disbelief.

“Shouldn’t you two be happy? I’m not moping around,” you say.

“We are happy. It’s just a bit odd,” they state and your other friend quickly agrees.

“I actually started to feel better after talking to Changmin,” you informed.

“Shut up! Are you moving onto Changmin!?” Your friend shrieked.

“No, no. Don’t get the wrong idea. I think he would be a nice friend is all,” you clarified. Both of your friends look a bit disappointed. “What?” you questioned.

“I don’t want you to rush into a new relationship or anything, but Changmin is a good guy,” your friend states.

“I know,” you say, turning around to do your hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey,” you happily greeted Changmin as you took a seat on a stool.

“Nice to see you again,” Changmin tells you with a smile. You feel your friend’s elbow playfully elbow your side. You turned to them and mouthed “stop” which only made them shrug innocently.

“Has he bothered you since last time?” Changmin asked you.

“Nope. I guess you scared him,” you tell him.

“Good.”

Changmin spent all the time he had not serving his customers talking with you. It was safe to say that his interest in you surely turned into liking you. He planned on staying true to his word though, he wasn’t going to pursue you. It still hasn’t been all that long since you got out of your relationship. He wanted to respect your space, give you time, but at the same time, man did he want nothing more than to be around you.

It seems like you wanted to be around Changmin too though. After a couple more times of visiting him at his bar the two of you exchanged contact information with each other. The two of you started talking and hanging out, as friends of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You got a bit of flour on your face,” Changmin tells you. The two of you were currently baking together.

“Where?” You questioned, dabbing your face with the back of your hand.

“There.” Changmin smiled mischievously as he threw a handful of flour at your face.

“Changmin!” you yelled at him. Quickly retorting my throwing flour back at him. The bake you were doing was forgotten as you ran around your kitchen throwing flour at one another. The kitchen was not only full of flour but also happy screams and laughter as you chased each other.

After the two of yours little flour fight, you finish baking, putting the sweet treat into the oven. Changmin offered to start cleaning up while you took a shower. Once you were out of the shower you told Changmin that he should get cleaned up too. That you probably had some oversized clothes that should fit him. Cahngmin left to shower and you laid the clothes out for him to change into. You picked up and finished cleaning the kitchen.

You made your way over to your couch and turned on the t.v while you waited for Changmin. Then you heard a knock on your door. It was odd, you weren’t expecting anyone. Still you made your way to your apartment door and opened it.

“Mom!” you said surprised. “What are you doing here?” you asked as your mom made her way into the apartment.

“I wanted to see you. Can I not?” She made herself comfortable on your couch.

“It’s not that you can’t, but you usually let me know first,” you chuckled nervously. You can hear the water of the shower shut off.

“I was in the area for some errands, so I thought I would surprise you.”

“Well I’m certainly surprised,” you say. You hear the bathroom door open.

“Do you have company? Is one of your friends-oh hi young man,” your mom greets Changmin. Why do you feel like you got caught?

“He’s just a friend. His name is Changmin,” you introduced him. He greets your mother back and awkwardly takes a seat beside you on the couch.

“You lend your guy friends your clothes?” your mom looks at you suspiciously. It was obvious that the clothes he was wearing were yours because they were still kinda small for him.

“His clothes were dirty,” you explained.

“We had a flour fight while baking,” Changmin chimed in. Right then the timer goes off. “I’ll go pull it out.” Changmin excused himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” your mom immediately asked you.

“Cause I knew you acted like this,” you responded.

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m just surprised. A couple months ago you would call me sobbing. Now you're having a baking date with a cute flour fight with a guy.”

“A friend,” you correct her.

“Honey, neither of you look at each other like you’re friends,” your mom sassed you. “You seem happier with him too,” she said more seriously.

“You’ve known him for three minutes,” you retorted.

“And that’s enough. He looks at you like he’d hang the stars in the sky for you. Plus that shirt clearly isn't comfortable for him to wear, but he’s not complaining. He just looks like he’s happy to be wearing your clothes,” she teased.

“Mom stop,” you complained. Changmin came back over to the couch. Once again taking a seat next to you.

“Changmin, that shirt looks like it’s tight in the wrong places. Are you sure you aren’t uncomfortable?” Your mom asked, trying to prove her point.

“It’s fine,” he smiled. “I won’t be wearing it for too long anyway. It’s nice that y/n offered to lend them to me.” Her point was proven.

After your mom and Changmin left you mom’s words repeated over in your head. Neither of you look at each other like you’re friends. You placed your hand over your heart, feeling it beat against your palm. It told you Changmin wasn’t just a friend either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer time had rolled around. You and Changmin had continued to hang out as friends even though it was apparent to anyone who looked at the two of you together that there was something more there.

Currently you were waiting for Changmin outside of a museum you two were going to visit.

“Y/n!” You heard a voice call for you. It wasn’t Changmin’s, it was a voice you didn’t want to hear. It was your ex’s. You started to walk away.

“Y/n please?” A hand grabbed onto your wrist.

“Let me go!” you harshly pulled your wrist from your ex’s hold.

“Please just listen to me alright? I’m sorry so sorry. I messed up big time. I know and-”

“I’m glad you know.” You tried to walk away again, but your ex cut you off standing in front of you.

“Can’t you give me another chance please? I was a really good boyfriend for four years wasn’t I? I know I messed everything up, but you can’t just forget about everything that happened before that. Take me back. Losing you is the worst thing to ever happen to me,” he claims.

“Baby who’s this? Is he bothering you?” Changmin shows up beside you, pulling you into his side protectively. He has heard enough of the conversation to know that this is your ex.

“My ex and yes he’s bothering me,” you say leaning into Changmin’s side, wrapping your own arms around his waist.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave her alone?” Changmin scoffed.

“You’re the dude who answered her phone?” Your ex glares at Changmin.

“He’s my boyfriend, who answered my phone,” you corrected. Changmin knows now is not the time, but you calling him your boyfriend made his heart soar. He so desperately wanted it to be true.

“There’s no way you moved on from me,” your ex said.

“It’s not hard to move on from a cheater. She deserves so much better than a scum like you, so leave my girl alone.” Changmin calling you his girl makes the butterflies fly in your stomach. Changmin leads you away from your ex and up the steps to the museum.

“Are you ok?” He checks on you as soon as you’re inside.

“Yeah I am.” The situation that just occurred outside confirmed two things. One, you were definitely over your ex. Two, you moved on to Changmin. You wished you were saying the truth when you called him your boyfriend. “I did realize something though,” you added.

“What’s that?” Changmin looked at you intently.

“I wish it were true when I called you my boyfriend,” you say. Changmin can’t contain his happiness as he pulls you into a hug.

“I wish it was true too,” he tells you whilst squeezing you tight. “I’ve liked you for so long,” he confesses.

“I like you too,” you confessed back. The pair of you pull away from the hug with bright smiles on your faces. The two of you then begin to walk around the museum hand in hand on your first official date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I knew it!” your mom exclaimed when you introduced Changmin to her as your boyfriend

#the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #the boyz fluff #changmin x reader #q x reader #ji changmin #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin imagines

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noisyquokka · 1 year ago

Text

Lights Out

PAIRING - Changmin x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - Changmin finds out you're a bit of a scaredy-cat and starts pranking you. Little does he know, you have a few of your own tricks up your sleeve.

WORDCOUNT - 1.7k

WARNINGS - Humor, Roommate!Changmin, some cursing, mentions of rodents (although they're fake), this is literally just two roommates testing each other, very sibling coded

A/N - Short n' sweet... also a little silly 🤠 just a funny lil thought I had!

"Fucking hell- Changmin!!"

Footsteps can be heard from down the hall, each one taken with purpose as Changmin counted down to the very last second that his bedroom door would swing open. The hinges protest to your intrusion like they always do, your shadow shifting away from the doorframe. He side-eyes you from his spot on his bed, quick reflexes catching the giant rat that he'd planted in your bedroom hours ago.

"Woah, that's one big rodent!" He feigns horror, patting the rubber rodent's stomach dramatically. Changmin should be a little worried by the daggers you're shooting at him, but he can't be bothered. Even when you grab for a pillow from his bed.

"Quit hiding shit in my room!!" Each word is followed by one hefty wallop. He leans away, bringing a hand up to shield the brunt of them. Still, he continues to tease.

"You found this in your room?!" He asks, wide-eyes flitting between you and the rat. "I told you to clean, didn't I? Rats love junk food!"

"I'm gonna kill you, Ji Changmin." You mutter, and for a moment, Changmin feels a chill run up his spine. You had muttered those words a little too calmly. But he rolls his eyes and waves you off, focusing back on the video game he was playing prior to you barging in.

"At least go and clean your room first. I have a game to beat."

He runs a hand through his tousled hair, grabs the controller and unpauses the game. You groan, throwing the pillow at his head and rushing out of the room.

For the past months, you've had to deal with this. You'd been evicted from your apartment due to noise complaints from older neighbors and there were no other affordable apartments nearby. Anxiety had reared it's ugly head at the idea that you may be stuck couch surfing for a while, or worse. So when your best friend, Chanhee, had mentioned Changmin's extra bedroom, you thought you'd heard angels singing. After all, you'd met Changmin a few times and the two of you got on pretty well.

What you hadn't known about was his little obsession for horror. All it took was one conversation about how much you disliked scary movies and you knew you screwed up. It was a week after you moved in that Changmin planted the first prank; a whole grudge girl in the shower. You hadn't noticed it until you peeled the shower curtain back, greeted by a mop of black hair and pale white complexion. To say you had been surprised would be the understatement of the century. You had yelped so loudly, that your neighbors checked in to make sure everything was alright. Answering the door with a towel on was embarrassing enough without giving them the reason for your shrieks. To top it all off, he wasn't even home when it all went down. That didn't stop you from chewing him out over text.

And so, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, each prank getting less and less tame. And you slowly grew restless over the whole fiasco. Sure, it was funny at first. Now it was getting old.

You flopped down on your bed, face down into the pillow. Disgruntled and exhausted. In reality, Changmin was a great roommate. He was never late on rent, cleaned up after himself, cooked on the nights you didn't eat out, and never complained about the friends you had over. He was also a pretty good listener when you needed a shoulder to lean on. The only complaint you were allowed at this point was the constant attempts to scare you. And with Halloween around the corner, you were sure he was concocting something crazier. Most of his pranks had been much too tame when it came to a horror fan. You weren't sure if that was just Changmin being nice enough to keep them that way, or if he was building up for something. Either way, you weren't gonna sit idly by and allow him another chance to scare you.

You roll onto your back, eyes closed as you take a deep breath.

"You want war, Ji Changmin?"

Your gaze settles on the ceiling above, daggers in the drywall.

"I'll give you war."

—

The apartment door shuts with a thud as Changmin slips his shoes off at the door. The bags hang off his arms in a swath, socked feet thumping against the hall floor as he makes his way into the kitchen. The TV in the living room hums the score of a familiar movie, and Changmin turns his head to see you curled up on the sofa. His eyes flit to the TV screen.

"How many times can one person rewatch Piranha in a year?"

"You're cute. I could watch this once a day for the rest of the year, better watch yourself." You quip, glancing over the back of the sofa with a teasing glint in your eye.

The man scoffs, but a quirk of a smirk finds his lips as he sets the bags on the counter.

"Or you could help with putting all this away while I start on dinner..." He says. You roll your eyes but you get up anyway, pausing the movie. "I thought you didn't like horror."

"I don't." You reply, glancing at him with an arched brow. Brown eyes watch as you round the sofa, deft fingers reaching for one of the shopping bags sitting on the counter.

"You're aware that's a horror movie, right?" He asks, his lips tilting in a sly grin as he begins pulling the ingredients for tonight's dinner from a bag.

"But it's pretty stupid more than scary."

"Ah yes, the idea of piranhas eating me alive isn't terrifying at all!" He rolled his eyes, turning to the cutting board on the opposite counter. You mirror his reaction with a muttered, "shut it" that has both of you biting back smiles. The unpacking begins.

You're fairly quick, thanks to Changmin's bagging abilities. Everything is always organized by where they go in the kitchen; pantry items, refrigerated items, frozen items... it makes your job easier. By the time you're finished, the apartment is beginning to smell like a home-cooked meal. The aroma of savory spices fill your nostrils. Your stomach groans, and you glance over to the cutting board where Changmin is busy slicing up vegetables.

"Everything's packed away." You tell him, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

"Thanks. Dinner should be ready in a few."

He's so focused on slicing the carrots he'd bought, but he doesn't miss your presence to his left. Swift fingers that snag a freshly-sliced carrot to the side of the cutting board. He looks over, his eyes flitting to your shoulders as you slink back toward the living room sofa. Back to your pretty stupid horror movie.

It isn't longer than thirty minutes that Changmin's sitting down beside you with two rice bowls in his hands. He slides the bowls onto the table, settling into the cushions with a heavy sigh. You thank him and dig in, watching as the credits roll on the current episode. He takes a bite, brown eyes shifting to you.

"Think we could watch a horror movie or something?"

"Respectfully, Changmin, you watch horror movies all year long." You mumble, swallowing the food in your mouth. "Plus, this is a horror movie. You said so, yourself."

"Respectfully, you've watched this movie like forty times since you moved in two months ago."

You stare him down for a long moment, eyes narrowed.

"Touché..." You huff, reaching for the remote. "Which movie?"

"Train to Busan?"

"Classic..."

"Hey, it's a good movie!" He argues, gaze set firmly on the television screen as you search through the streaming services collection for said title.

"Yeah, I know." You say, a smirk pulling your lips. You bring another fork full of rice and veggies to your mouth, waiting for the titles to load when Changmin goes to sit up.

"I need a bathroom break, hang on."

"Mm, can you grab my phone in my room?" You ask. "It's on the charger by my nightstand."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll grab your blanket to shield your eyes, too." He mutters the last part, but it's loud enough to hear.

"Oh, har har!" You scoff, earning yourself a crooked grin from over his shoulder as he disappears down the hall.

His feet pad down the hall, fingers slipping over the bedroom door that you had left ajar. Brown eyes lock on the cellular device sitting on the surface of the side table, full battery icon on the screen. Changmin pulls the charger from the device and turns back toward the door, stopping short. Brown eyes blink.

In the darkness of the adjacent bathroom, a humanoid shadow stands in the mirror. The bathroom light clicks on, illuminating the space in a warm glow. But the shadow is gone. Changmin's brow furrows, tilting his head as he slowly approaches the door. Slender fingers reach around the doorframe for the bathroom light switch, and the flip of the switch perks his ears, shrouding the bathroom in darkness once more. The shadow reappears, flinching in the glaze of the mirror and Changmin jumps in the slightest. He flips the light on again.

"What the hell-"

The light above the mirror flickers until it blows, and the shadow in the mirror reappears, cocking its head like a dog. Just as Changmin is about to call for you, the figure is jumping toward him.

You hear the thundering footsteps down the hallway, but you can't help yourself. The poker face isn't salvageable. When Changmin rounds the corner, he's panting and ready to tell you to call the cops. That there's an intruder in the apartment. But here you sit on the sofa, doubled over with tears in your eyes and a stomach ache brewing. It's then and there that Ji Changmin pieces everything together.

"You fucking suck, you know that." He tosses your phone at you and you scramble for it before it hits your stomach.

"What's wrong, Changmin?" You ask, wiping the tears from your eyes. "I thought you could handle the horrors and spooks."

"How'd you even do that?"

"Oh, just a little projection device above the door frame." You smirk, clearly proud of yourself. Changmin just stares, mouth open as he goes through the five stages of grief.

"I thought you were scared of shit like that?"

You shrug.

"Guess it changes you when you spend the last two months getting pranked by your roommate..."

It's safe to say you were victorious, as the pranks stopped altogether after that evening.

SPOOKTOBER MASTERLIST || Requests are open!!

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #q #ji changmin #ji changmin x reader #tbz x reader #q x reader #the boyz imagines #ji changmin scenarios #tbz q #the boyz scenarios #q imagines #the boyz drabbles #tbz drabbles #ji changmin imagines #x gender neutral reader #gn reader #quokkawritings🌻

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from-izzy · 4 months ago

Text

the boyz (98' line) masterlist ♡

98 Line

[~400 ☂/♡/➳/ʚ/ɞ] "what do you think of flowers/bouquets?"

Lee Juyeon

[~2.3k (slight ☂) ♡ ➳ ɞ] every day is a lovely day...

Kevin Moon

[~4.2k ☂ (♡ just a little bit...i think) ʚ ɞ] that's him, that's just who he is

Choi Chanhee | New

[~4.2k ☂ ♡ ʚ ɞ] that's him, that's just who he is [~5.8k (slight) ☂ (very) ♡] the warmest winter

Ji Changmin | Q

generating...

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz full masterlist 🤍 nct dream masterlist 🤍 riize masterlist 🤍 other masterlist

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itsbeeble · 1 year ago

Text

THIS IS SO CUTE BUT ALSO SO SAD OH MY GOD

KIDULT 1/2 | J.CM

꒰ synopsis ꒱ changmin always believed he was never fond of children, especially when he took the job at your daycare. little did he know the child in him was playing hide and seek, finally revealing itself after growing to love the kids. oh, and you too

꒰ pairing ꒱ daycareworker!changmin x genderneutral!reader

꒰ genre ꒱ strangers to lovers, daycare au, slow burn, fluff, angst, features hyunjae and the rest of the boyz as children

꒰ warnings ꒱ children, car accident, major character death, descriptions of blood, sprinkled bits of profanity and capitalization, and an overall merry bad ending

꒰ word count ꒱ 26.8k+

꒰ perspective ꒱ 2nd person omniscient

‘ playlist one ›› spotify, youtube

‘ author's note!! 🍃 — this fic is for @junjungsunwoo's merry bad ending collab!! biggest thanks to @pjmaparty, @fullsunfluff, @bbanghoonie, and @heejojo for beta reading!! this is the first part out of two <3

‘ taglist ›› @nilesig @reniqt @sunfics @wooyoung-a @kimaya2209 @frickyratz @deputyjuyeon @stealanity @hwallswrld @kyu-rious @changminurheart

NAVIGATION | TBZ MASTERLIST | PART TWO

As the seconds on the clock progresses with every tick, you are already starting to lose hope in your only recruit arriving at all.

Not many liked to work at daycares, that much you knew, considering they didn’t like the idea of loud cries and touchy fingers from kids they weren’t even acquainted with, so it was nearly impossible to find anyone in the small town you lived in willing to help out. Changmin was the only person that approached you at the front desk without a kid of his own, stating that he saw the hiring post on Facebook and wanted the job.

Ecstatic by the news, the interview took place right then and there immediately, and you began spurting out questions for him to answer. Though, while answering, he seemed so uninterested in the job, making you wonder if he really even wanted it in the first place. Unfortunately, your desperation took over your conscience, hiring him on the spot once the short interview had ended.

Now, here you are, waiting for him to come through the front two doors so you could show him around the playroom and help him understand the activities you plan on having the children do. But you were left with little to no hope as the seconds tick by, starting to believe that he bailed on both you and this job.

Right as you begin to sulk, the jingle from the glass doors rang through your ears, making your ears perk.

“I’m here.”

The familiar voice makes your head shoot up, looking at the person who had just entered. Your smile widens at the sudden sight of him, relieved that he chose to come after all. You fix your posture by the desk and bring the clipboard with your written notes into your hands, welcoming him.

“Sorry for being late,” he mumbles. Although he apologies, he doesn’t seem to be apologetic at all, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweater with half hooded eyes, looking like he had just woken up. “I slept in.”

It was impossible to prevent the snort from leaving you, but it didn’t even alarm Changmin in the slightest, the boy looking like he just wanted to get everything over with.

“Well if that’s the case, just make sure you don’t sleep in on your first day on the job,” you hum, walking out from behind the desk. “We really need you here.”

“We?” he asks, letting out a snort of his own.

Thrown off guard, you stutter. “Y-yeah...me and the kids…”

He then nods, keeping his mouth shut as he stands there.

The happiness you received minutes earlier from seeing him is quick to vanish into thin air, making you press your lips into a firm line. “Well then, follow me.”

He does as he’s told, watching you open the only door that stood not so far from the front desk.

“Unlike most daycares, ours only has one playroom,” you sigh, pressing your clipboard up against your chest as you lead him inside. “I’m basically the only person that works here, from what I told you previously, so I truly do appreciate the extra help you’re offering this summer.”

Changmin, the only person deemed ‘interested’ in the job, trails after your steps with long, heavy strides, lazy eyes roaming around the new environment.

You show him around each and every nook and cranny of the room, from the round tables and the circle of big bean bags to the massive reading rug surrounded by bookshelves. It was hard to miss the way he pretty much yawns after every explanation you give him, but you ignore it to maintain your pride.

“These are the sinks that catch the paintbrushes after an hour-long painting session,” you introduce, obvious disappointment featured in your tone. “I always tell the kids to never put their brushes inside the sinks when they’re done rinsing them, but they never listen. It often results in me shoving my hand in and digging the brushes out of the drain.”

And for the first time that day, you notice his eyes widening from the corner of your vision at the sudden information. He peeks over your shoulder to get a glance at one of the sinks being completely covered with dried up splatters of paint, scrunching his nose. “You’re not giving that job to me, are you?”

His grimace made you laugh, shaking your head disapprovingly. “Trust me, I’d love to say no, but I’m afraid I’d be lying.”

He grunts, clearly expressing how much he really didn’t want to do any of the work you plan on assigning him. You brush it off, knowing that he is very much needed for the upcoming summer wave that will be hitting the daycare.

You gesture for him to sit down at one of the round tables, joining him a few seats adjacent. “Okay so, we’re going to have ten kids for the summer. Specifically ten boys. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but they’re quite the hassle when they’re together,” you explain, eyeing your notes while Changmin is just staring, maybe even spacing out, as you speak.

Despite this, you continue, speaking as fast as you could to get this entire thing over with. “We’ll be having four six-year-olds: Sangyeon, Joonyoung, Younghoon, Hyunjae. Three five-year-olds: Juyeon, Hyungseo, Chanhee. And three four-year-olds: Haknyeon, Sunwoo, Youngjae.” Creases form on your forehead when you notice that Hyunjun wouldn’t be attending this summer, but you don’t mention anything about him to Changmin. Hell, you aren't even sure if he even got the names considering how fast you spoke, but it isn’t like he was paying attention in the first place.

“I think that’s-...actually all I have for you today,” you murmur, flipping through your notes to see if you truly have concluded the tour and introductions. You then pass the clipboard over to him by sliding it across the table, making him flinch and stumble to catch it. “Can you check to see if I missed anything? I’m kind of exhausted after all of this prepping.”

He shrugs his shoulders and skims through it in an instant before giving it back to you. “I think you’re good,” he deadpans, not giving you much of an expression to work with as he slides it back over to you.

You cock your brow at how quick he was with searching through everything but chose not to question it, bringing it back into your grasp. “If that’s the case...do you perhaps have any questions?”

He slouches in his spot and averts his gaze out one of the bigger windows, attempting to suppress a yawn by raising a hand over his mouth. “...Not really,” he finally responds.

You eye his features, tilting your head in the slightest as you stare. You then stop when realizing that he caught your gaze, the male growing visibly uncomfortable afterwards. He was shifting in his seat, not sure what to say considering he doesn’t want to opt for a ‘can I go now?’.

“Sorry,” you apologize, straightening your back. “It just seems like you really don’t want to work here.”

“I do!” he counters with his eyes darting over to you, copying your actions by sitting up straight. It then clicks when he realizes that you saw right through him, giving up and allowing himself to surrender. “...Okay fine,” he mumbles, falling right back into his seat. “I really don’t, but I need the money.”

“That’s understandable.” You end the conversation by standing up and putting out your hand. “Even so, I am very excited to work with you.”

“Same here,” he blatantly lies, giving your hand a weak shake after rising onto his feet. “Uh, so when’s my first day here?”

“This upcoming Monday.” You pull your hand back and grab the clipboard, hurried steps making their way back over to the door. “Make sure you arrive at 6 in the morning. Sharp, please. I truly need all the help I can get.”

He takes one last look around the room with pursed lips before wearing one of the fakest grins you’ve ever seen when you open the door for him. “I’ll see you then.”

After aligning all the boxes onto the shelves, you exit the playroom to find Changmin resting against the front desk, elbow propped up against its surface as he scrolls through his phone.

“You’re here!!” you exclaim, making him startled at your sudden appearance. “And-...early?” You look at the clock, noticing how it was ten minutes before the designated time.

Unexpectedly, his laid-back attire has been replaced with a casual button-up shirt that is partially tucked into his jeans, looking quite presentable for someone who would be working with preschoolers, but the same uninterested expression from a few days prior still remain on his facial features, barely being able to remove his gaze from his phone screen.

“I couldn’t really sleep,” he sighs out, setting his phone face down onto the desk. He hums, tapping his fingers against the surface, allowing the silence to fill the room before continuing. “Hope I didn’t scare you, by the way. The doors were unlocked.”

“Oh uh, no you’re fine. I just really wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” You smile warmly towards him before walking behind the desk, pulling out one of your drawers to search through your nearly empty files.

“Is there anything you’d like me to do?” He peers over the desk to see what you’re doing, watching your every movement as you hum in return.

“Could you go into the playroom and check to see that everything is organized? Just tidy up anything that looks out of place before our first kid gets here. After that, you can start greeting all the boys when they arrive.”

He visibly cringes at your last sentence but affirms your words with a nod, picking himself off the desk before dragging his feet over to the room, leaving the door wide open.

Meanwhile, your fingers tap against every file within the drawer in search of the one that would be needed for today, taking and setting it out onto the table once you retrieved it. You open the file to reveal a sign in sheet, making sure the paper will be facing the front door for when the parents and their sons start to file in.

You are bending over to find a pen to provide when you hear your name being called with a loud shriek, making you nearly scream.

“Teacher Y/N, Teacher Y/N!!”

The childish voice makes you look over your desk, gasping at the sight of the little six-year-old standing there with the brightest smile.

“What th- how’d you-...? Hyunjae?!?”

The door slams open and presents a disheveled mother panting, breathless concerns pouring out of her. “Oh dear, he’s here. Alright okay, oh my. My apologies, Y/N. Jaehyun got so excited to see you that he rushed out of the car when I was on the phone with my husband.” She frowns and walks over to her child to pick him up, holding him in her arms as she starts interrogating him.

“How on earth did you get inside??”

“I followed a man in,” he giggles, making grabby hands towards you before becoming distracted at the sight of a curious Changmin leaving the playroom to check on the disruption that was happening outside.

Though, he immediately regrets doing so when Hyunjae points at him, clapping his hands loudly. “Him!!”

His mother’s head turns toward to face Changmin, confused at the presence of another adult since she would always be the first one in the daycare with her child.

“Oh!! Mrs. Lee, this is Changmin, Teacher Changmin. He’s going to be helping me out at the daycare for the summer,” you introduce with a warm smile, urging Changmin over by motioning him your way.

Hyunjae’s quicker though, jumping out of his mother’s arms to race over to him. “Hi!!! I’m Hyunjae!!!” He reaches up and extends his hand, wearing the brightest smile Changmin has ever seen.

“Uh-...hi.” Changmin slowly brings his hand to Hyunjae, and the boy grabs it, shaking it aggressively.

“I’m six!!”

“I’m, uh, twenty-three…” His words trail off when he sends you a worrying look, one that said ‘I don’t know how the fuck to deal with kids’, but you ignore it, turning back to face Hyunjae’s mother.

“I’m really glad you have a helping hand this summer,” she comments. “I remember the amount of chaos you had to deal with last year.” A frown works its way back up to her lips when she pulls out her wallet, paying you beforehand. While she continues talking, you go back to looking for a pen, handing it to her in the middle of her sentence.

“I really do appreciate all the work and love you’ve given my son, especially since his father and I barely have time to even talk to him nowadays. It makes me so happy to see him continue being the bright and sweetest kid from the crowd ever since he’s joined this daycare.”

Her words make you grimace, knowing a majority of what she said was a lie. “Of course, but it’s really nothing,” you respond quietly, playing with your fingers.

“Ah, but it’s true!” she reasons, her frown disappearing as it’s replaced with a gentle smile, signing her name into the sign in sheet before reaching to hold onto one of your hands. “Trust me when I say this; many people who work at daycares absolutely despise being with children, but it’s clear that you absolutely love what you do, and I couldn’t be more grateful.”

Your eyes smile at her words, wishing her a warm goodbye when she leaves. You turn to see what Changmin and Hyunjae were up to, seeing the elder crouched down while Hyunjae plays with his cheeks, endless rambles leaving the child.

A grin forms on your lips at the sight of them together, and it took the two a while to realize that Hyunjae’s mother had left. Hyunjae halts his actions with Changmin and runs over to you, grabbing onto your hand to pull it. “Can we go into the playroom now? Pretty please??”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to ask Teacher Changmin about that. He’s going to be the one in charge of you little guys.” You point back over to Changmin, flashing the teacher a bright smile.

Changmin raises a brow at this and holds back from scowling at you, eyes piercing into yours when Hyunjae sprints back over to him with a loud squeal. The boy grabs one of Changmin’s hands, looking up at him when Changmin walks him inside.

“I’m six!!”

“Yes Hyunjae, I know. You said that already.”

“You really weren’t lying when you said there would be ten boys.”

“Ten chaotic boys,” you correct, shutting the door behind you when you enter the playroom. There you could see all of them chasing each other, aside from Sangyeon and Joonyoung. The two were playing with dolls and action figures, making up a story while mindlessly ignoring the other kids nearly running over one another. “But why would I lie?”

He shrugs, arms crossed tightly over his chest as he watches the kids, making no effort to stop their violence. “Just seems unlikely that you wouldn’t end up with at least one girl here.”

“Small town, I guess.” While Changmin stood around and did nothing, you went over to untangle Sunwoo’s fingers from Chanhee’s hair, apologizing each time Chanhee cried out of pain.

“Right.” He watches you from afar, analyzing the way you handled the situation and allowed them to carry on with their chaos. “How do you even manage?”

“Honestly?” Your feet walk themselves back over to where you were standing with Changmin previously, accompanying him. “I don’t,” you respond casually. Only then did the adults notice Youngjae chasing Hyunjae towards you two, a plastic toy train being held in his hand as he charged towards the elder boy.

“TEACHER CHANGMINNNN!!” Hyunjae screeches, begging for help as he ducks behind the male’s long legs in order to avoid the toddler.

Changmin just stands there, watching how Youngjae’s waddles come to a stop before shooting a smile up at the teacher ever so innocently. He waves the toy train up in the air for Changmin, showing it off. “Look!!”

Not knowing what to do, Changmin looks over at you, wanting you to control the situation at hand. He could feel Hyunjae wrap his arms around his legs, planting the teacher into the ground while letting out repeated whines about Youngjae chasing him. By now, you already had walked away to watch the scene unfold from across the room, amused with the predicament Changmin was brought into.

“Uhm, Youngjae,” he starts, turning back to the newly turned four-year-old in front of him, crouching down to talk to him properly. The young boy lightens up at him and his train being acknowledged by the new teacher, presenting the toy to him by holding it out in his hands. Hyunjae, on the other hand, resumes hiding behind Changmin, his arms wrapped around his back as he peeks his head out from the side, eyeing the boy that had just terrorized him seconds before.

“Youngjae,” he repeats, slowly taking the toy train out of his hands. “We shouldn’t, uh, chase other kids with toy trains and say you’re going to run them over with it…” His cheeks flush up, truly unsure if he had handled the situation correctly.

Meanwhile, you burst out laughing, making all the kids look at you for only a millisecond before resuming whatever they were doing previously. Youngjae is pouting, his bottom lip jutted out as much as it could, and yet surprisingly, he hasn’t started crying, nodding to show that he understood.

Satisfied, Changmin hands the toy back to the boy, giving him a small pat on his head. It takes a second for it to hit that everything from Youngjae was an act, Hyungseo becoming the boy’s next target.

It makes your burst of laughter return, especially when Changmin’s face drops at the sight of Youngjae tackling Hyungseo while ramming his train into the poor kid’s cheek.

“Well, at least you got him to stop doing it to Hyunjae,” you comfort, walking back over to him. Changmin rolls his eyes with a huff before telling Hyunjae to scurry off. As Hyunjae does as he was told, Youngjae catches sight of your presence, screaming loudly while removing himself from Hyungseo. You chase after the small boy, hands being outstretched in order to pick him up.

When you did, his legs started flailing in the air, not even noticing that he had been raised from the ground.

“I still don’t get how you do this entire daycare thing,” Changmin mumbles, making his way over to you. Youngjae has resulted in whining loudly when you refuse to put him back down, making him apologize to both Hyunjae and Hyungseo from across the room.

“Trust me, I don’t either, but amazingly, it’s pretty easy to calm them down.” You gently set Youngjae back down onto the ground after hearing his cries of ‘sorry’, mentioning that you’ll be taking his toy train for the time being. He doesn’t fight back, only sulking when Sunwoo laughs at him.

That’s when Changmin goes over to one of the round tables, bored out of his mind. He sits on the edge of the table with his toes grazing against the ground, analyzing every kid within the room in order to memorize the other half of their names.

“You know, Teacher Y/N says we should never sit on the tables,” Hyunjae points out after approaching him. Changmin dismisses him off with a wave, not willing to listen to whatever a child was saying.

“I’m not a kid,” he grumbles under his breath, not giving a care if Hyunjae even heard him. Though, he doubts the younger kid did. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to him, you heard Changmin say it loud and clear. With a scoff, you made your way over to the two boys, standing opposite from Hyunjae and adjacent to the teacher with your arms over your chest.

“Off the table,” you demanded.

“What?”

All the kids in the room stopped whatever they were doing to look at the commotion happening. Though, Changmin chose not to budge from his spot, rolling his eyes.

“You heard what Hyunjae said. Loud and clear,” you click your tongue. “You’re being a bad role model to the kids by sitting on the table.”

“There’s nothing wrong with sittin-”

“Changmin, off.”

It was then when humiliation suddenly hit him, especially since he was the one that was being scolded in front of a bunch of preschoolers. He takes one last glance around the room while avoiding your stare before removing himself from the table. What you didn’t expect was for him to storm out of the room, pulling the door open just as fast as he slammed it shut.

“God, what’s his problem?” you mutter. A loud wail is then heard throughout the room, everyone’s attention turning to the person sitting down on the rug by the box of toys. That was what made you realize the severity of the situation, knowing that you had possibly gone too far.

“No no, Joonyoung, don’t cry,” you whisper after rushing over to him, bringing him into your arms. You rub his back, easing him down after the loud sound that had scared him. “I’m so, so sorry.” His hands are bunching up your shirt when you press him close to your chest, finding comfort in your hold.

You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at the door, wondering if Changmin would return.

After one week and three very tiresome days, you knew that Changmin wouldn’t be coming back.

It wasn’t like he had called to confirm that he would be quitting or any of that sort, but it was pretty obvious with the lack of his presence. It came to a point where you didn’t even bother checking outside the playroom ever so often anymore, knowing that he would no longer be the one entering those two glass doors.

It saddens you, in all honesty. The one person that was willing to help is now gone, and it went back to just you and the ten kids you cherish the most. Though, all of them but one didn’t really mind, or more like comprehend, the lack of assistance in the playroom since you basically had all of their backs, but Hyunjae’s been alone, sitting by the bookshelves.

He would have his arms wrapped around his legs, curling up into a ball as he leans against the shelves, gazing off into the distance.

You did have to admit that the idea of him contemplating his life choices was kind of amusing, especially with him curled up into the fetus position, but you still approached him occasionally throughout the day, asking him if he was alright. It didn’t help much though, the boy turning away from you whenever you did so. After moments of silence, you decided that it would be best to give him space, apologizing each time before leaving to focus on the other kids.

Without a doubt, Hyunjae has always been the brightest one out of every kid you knew, getting along with absolutely everyone due to his expressive persona, and considering he was the mood maker, it did bring down the happiness within the daycare. Joonyoung and Sangyeon were both old enough to understand what Hyunjae was feeling, joining him in the middle of their free time to give the boy a hug. They have always been the sweetest kids in the class so you were more than positive that Hyunjae would be okay in a week or two, but it still took a major toll on your heart.

In around ten or so minutes, it would be time for Hyunjae to arrive, so here you were, preparing everything. While searching through your drawers, a piece of paper falls out of your grip and onto the ground. You reach to pick it up and realize that it’s Changmin’s phone number written down, and you debate whether you should call him or not. It wouldn’t hurt to check up on him and see if he was doing alright, maybe even ask if he would be quitting for good. You could also toss in that Hyunjae has missed him immensely ever since the incident, but you decided against it all, figuring that it’ll be for the best for both sides. You tossed the piece of paper back in the drawer, closing it shut.

Out of nowhere, you could feel small fingers wrapping around the hem of your shirt and you are about to let out the loudest scream, turning around on your heels to face the culprit.

“Holy sh-”

“Hi Y/N.”

You calm down your racing heartbeat by having a hand over your chest, taking a couple of breathers before facing the poor boy. The dejected look on Hyunjae’s face doesn’t falter, his fingers gently tugging on your sleeve.

“Y/N?” he tries again, so you prepare yourself for a talk and get onto your knees in order to reach his eye level, hands on your thighs.

“Is everything okay, Hyunjae?”

“Will Changmin be here today?” he asks, his voice breaking as he speaks softly.

The way he gazes at you with glossy eyes made you realize that even though you had lost all hope for Changmin’s return, Hyunjae was the one who still had some within him.

Without letting you answer, he continues, his fingers bunching up the fabric of your shirt into a fist. “You said he will be here all summer, right?”

Sucking in a sharp breath, you nod. “Yes, Hyunjae, he should be.” You pause, shutting your eyes as you utter the next few words. “But I don’t know if he will.” Your voice trails off into a whisper, but he pulls you into a comforting hug, knowing that he isn’t the only one missing your co-teacher.

“It wasn’t my fault, was it?” he mumbles, hiding his face into the crook of your neck.

“What? No, of course not. It isn’t your fault, okay?” You tighten your grip around him, tenderly rubbing his back with your hand.

He sniffs loudly, pulling away with a nod. He tentatively puts out his hands to cup your cheeks, the warmth of his hands bringing you tranquility. When you don’t pull yourself away from his grasp, he squishes your cheeks, just like how he did with Changmin when he first met him, a small smile forming on both of your lips.

“Jaehyun?? Y/N? Are any of you guys here??”

You mentally curse to yourself at the voice, having your eyes meet the preschoolers. “Please don’t tell me you ran away from your mommy again.”

He only grins at you, making grabby hands. With a sigh, you pull him into your arms and stand up, revealing both yourself and Hyunjae to his mother. “He’s here, don’t worry,” you reassure, removing all the visible distress featured on her face.

“Surprise!” he squeals, tossing his hands up in the air.

His mother rolls her eyes playfully. “He really keeps running off without me knowing.” Her playful demeanor turned into a sorrowful one, taking the pen from the desk to sign in. “But I guess that’s a good thing since he really adores it here.”

“I guess he does, doesn’t he?” You glance back at Hyunjae, taking a mental note of his fingers becoming entangled in your hair. “He’s made a lot of wonderful friends here, you know.”

His downturned expression is still present on his face but was easily missed by his mother, too busy talking as she wrote down the date. “He has! He’s always asking me if Joonyoung could come and visit someday. Sweetest kid, if I remember correctly.” She sets down the pen back onto the paper, looking up to see her son. “Stay safe, Jaehyun!! Don’t cause too much trouble for Teacher Y/N today, okay?”

He perks up and goes to wave his mother goodbye but with his fingers caught up in your hair, he accidentally pulls on it, making you yelp.

Maybe having the boys paint with their hands was a really, really bad idea. Especially since you are the only one in charge.

“Haknyeon, no- no Haknyeon,” you snatch the tube of paint out of his hands. “We do not eat the paint.” He starts crying due to your glower, but your attention is diverted elsewhere when you hear your name being repeated.

“Teacher Y/N, Teacher Y/N!!” Juyeon calls, waving you over. “Look, look!!” He raises the printer paper up to show you his painting, bouncy on his feet.

“Oh Juyeon!! That’s a very nice-...uhm, cow-?” You tilt your head while squinting your eyes, trying to see it from a different perspective, but Juyeon’s already frowning, bringing the paper back down onto the table.

“It’s an airplane,” he mutters, slouching back into his seat. Youngjae and Sunwoo leave their chairs and rush over to Juyeon, taking a look over his shoulder at what he painted. Sunwoo brings a hand over his mouth to contain his laughter but fails when Youngjae loudly cackles, joining him in a fit of giggles. Juyeon whips his head around, glaring at the two younger boys while they practically trip over their feet due to how hard they were laughing, hands clutching onto their abdomens.

You put the tube of paint next to his artwork before crouching down besides him, bringing a hand to his shoulder. “It’s a really, really beautiful painting of an airplane. I mean it. I’m just legally blind.” You crack a smile before looking around the room, choosing to lean in and whisper into his ear. All sadness washes away when he hears you, perking up at the suggestion. He nods eagerly and claps his hands. Then he reaches to hold onto one of your fingers when you stand up, holding his painting in the other.

Youngjae and Sunwoo stop laughing when they see you bring Juyeon over to the bulletin board, their curiosity bubbling up within.

“Teacher Y/N?” the youngest hiccups, holding onto Sunwoo’s hand before following after you two.

You ignore his call and bring Juyeon up into your arms, giving him a push pin. “Now be careful,” you whisper, watching his every movement cautiously in case something bad happens. Thankfully, Juyeon was careful enough to pin up his painting, dancing happily when you place him back onto the ground.

Sunwoo gasps loudly and sits on the ground with a huff. Youngjae does the exact same, letting out a gasp of his own before seating himself right next to his friend, crossing his arms angrily.

Juyeon skips over to them, proudly puffing out his chest. He used both of his hands to ruffle up their brightly colored hair, regretting the action immediately after. It really wasn’t the greatest idea because one, his hands were covered in paint, and two, he only angered them further, so you didn’t bother saving him when the two boys started chasing him around, Juyeon screaming in terror.

Your attention was brought over to the calmest table in the room, at least from what it seemed, only to find Younghoon and Chanhee purposely shoving their paintbrushes down the drain, acting ever so innocent when you caught them red-handed.

“Now why would you guys do this? Where did you guys even get the paintbrushes? You're supposed to be using your hands to paint,” you groan, pulling the pair away from the sink.

“It was Chanhee’s idea!!” Younghoon blatantly accuses, pointing at his best friend. Chanhee rolls his eyes and doesn’t say another word, claiming the blame as the two head back to their seats in giggles.

With an exasperated sigh, you look into the sink. They are most definitely shoved in there, at least from what you could tell, so you rolled up your sleeves, prepared to have your hands dive in to collect the dollar cheap paintbrushes.

“I could help you with that if you’d like.”

In your head, you fully expected a kid to offer their help, but you knew you couldn’t risk having a preschooler helping you out with something stuck in the drain, but to your surprise, the voice wasn’t squeaky or obnoxious like the others. It was barely a whisper that could’ve been missed if it wasn’t for the sound of the door falling shut, making the entire room turn their heads to the familiar voice.

Hyunjae’s mouth falls agape at the sight of your co-teacher, not believing his eyes considering how long it’s been. He drops the tube of paint that was in his hands and onto his painting, running over to engulf the teacher’s legs within his embrace.

“Teacher Changmin!!”

“Hyunjae!!- wait, no don’t-...C’mon man, these jeans are new,” he whines.

While he tries removing the boy and his hands from his pants, you resume to stay in your state of shock, unable to move a single limb as you look at him. You blink multiple times to see if you are truly just imagining things, but you are proven wrong when more of the boys gather around him, greeting the teacher with happy smiles.

He gives up when many fingerprints of paint end up on his jeans, his distress being replaced with a smile of his own when he sees the rest of the kids. He then locks eyes with you, freezing in his spot before leaning down to whisper something Hyunjae’s ear, earning himself a nod.

Hyunjae and the rest of the kids go back to their seats, obediently continuing what they were doing earlier, but Hyunjae couldn’t stop looking at Changmin in awe, eyes glued onto him. The male makes his way over to you and brings a bag into your view. “I hope you don’t mind, but I bought us lunch.”

He sets it down next to the sink you were standing by, hands on the counter as he looks in. He grimaces at the current state of the sink you had your hand buried in, almost regretting what he offered earlier but folded up his sleeves regardless. “I meant it when I said I’ll help you with it, so I’m going to help you with it,” he mutters lowly, hoping that you didn’t hear him talking to himself. He takes one last look into the sink before shoving his hand in, pulling out the brushes individually with a chuckle. “Who buried these in the drain anyway?”

“We did!!” Younghoon yells out, waving over to him and then proceeds to point to himself and his seatmate. Changmin laughs at his boldness and sets the brushes aside before reaching for more.

Meanwhile, you are too occupied with gazing at him, looking at him with so much adoration. The smile he’s wearing today is genuine, and the sleep deprivation is nowhere to be seen on his face. Heck, it even seems like he did his hair, truly wanting to look presentable in front of the children.

“You okay?”

His voice snaps you out of your daze, struggling to find the right words. “Uh, I- yeah, I’m just- you...you came back.”

He falls silent, focusing on pulling the last few brushes out while his mind wanders elsewhere. When he finishes, he nods, finally allowing his eyes to meet yours. “Yeah, yeah I did.”

Even with the laughter and screams from the surrounding students, the silence between you two overtook it, struggling with who should be speaking first.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, being the one to break the eye contact.

“No, no, don't apologize. It wasn’t your fault at all. I’m the one that should be sorry…” He takes in a deep breath, making your eyes meet his before he continues. “I’m sorry for not realizing that I’m now practically a role model to the kids. I know now that I shouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t want them to do.” He clasps his hands together, having them hang over the sink as he stares straight ahead. “I’m sorry for disappearing these past few days too.”

You smile, pursing your lips. “Hyunjae missed you a lot, you know.”

He laughs, and for the first time ever, it wasn’t bitter. “I missed him too.”

“Hyunjae!! Teacher Changmin misses you!!” Sunwoo yells, capturing the said boy’s attention.

You turn around to see that he and Youngjae had been standing behind you guys all along, eavesdropping on your entire conversation, but it truly didn’t matter because the look on Hyunjae’s face made up for it. He was really eager to get out of his seat, his legs bouncing up and down with excitement but something Changmin must’ve said earlier had made him stay put.

Changmin shortly gives into his desperation, outstretching his arms for the young one. Hyunjae squeals and leaves his seat to run into them, laughing loudly when he’s picked up.

Youngjae, being the jealous one he was, frowns and starts poking Changmin’s leg repeatedly. “Did you miss me too??” he asks, mustering up the biggest puppy eyes for your co-teacher.

Changmin looks down, and the grin he has on his face, along with Hyunjae’s, is something you wish to see for the rest of your life, truly not being able to describe how much happiness you were feeling in the moment. “Of course I did. I missed you and your little train,” he coos, reaching down to boop his nose.

Youngjae lets out an exaggerated gasp at the newly found information, running away to grab his train for Changmin.

“Now look at what you’ve done,” you chortle. Seeing the way you laugh only made him happier, praising Youngjae when he comes back with his toy. He then faces Hyunjae to pinch one of his cheeks, bringing his gaze back over to you.

“I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

“I can’t believe you made them paint with their hands before lunch,” Changmin guffaws, bringing all the dried up paintings from the tables into his hands.

“Clearly not one of my brightest ideas,” you sigh.

Your attention was brought away from Changmin when noticing two students that stood far from where they were supposed to be: by the sinks. Your eyes narrow at the sight of Joonyoung carelessly wiping the paint off of his hands with Hyungseo’s shirt, covering the fabric in stains of the nauseating brown that were the result of multiple colors being mixed together.

With a groan, you place the paint tubes that were in your hands onto a nearby table before calling Joonyoung out for his action.

“Hey hey hey, none of that, Joonyoung.” You walk over to where he stood by the bookshelves and drag him away from Hyungseo, and only then did the younger boy realize what Joonyoung did to his shirt, gasping loudly for the entire class to hear.

“Come on you two, let’s wash your hands before we eat.” You bring both of their hands into yours in order to tug them over to the sinks, having them join the other boys that were already cleaning up.

Hyungseo being on the brink of tears shouldn’t have made Changmin laugh, but it does. He picks up the tubes of paint while smiling to himself, dropping them into a nearby basket that sat on one of the tables before heading over to the table with all the paintings he hasn't collected yet. He picks them up one by one, analyzing each one while acknowledging who painted what. Right when he picks up the last painting, he isn’t even given a chance to look at it when Hyunjae immediately sees him holding it, running over to him. “Do you like my painting?” he hiccups, gazing up at the teacher.

“Hm? Oh this is yours?” He looks back at the painting in his hand. “Are these your parents?” he asks, though he was left confused considering none of the people presented on the paper resembled Hyunjae’s mother, at least from what he remembers.

“Nope!!” he quips. He brings Changmin down to his level by pulling onto his sleeve so he’s able to see the painting as well, bouncy in his spot. “It’s you and Teacher Y/N!!”

“Really? Then...why does it say family at the bottom of the paper?” Changmin turns to look at the boy, confused.

“Because you and Teacher Y/N are my family! Well, kind of. In my dream you guys were!!” Hyunjae is looking at Changmin with the brightest set of eyes, smiling brightly. “You guys were married.”

Changmin coughs loudly at this newly found information, looking away from the painting to see if you had heard anything that came from the boy’s mouth. Thankfully you hadn’t, too distracted with helping Sangyeon wash his hands to notice him talking to Hyunjae.

He barely knows you, and yet here Hyunjae is, dreaming of you two as a married couple.

“I wanted to add the other boys and the daycare in the painting,” Hyunjae continues, kicking at the ground with his crocs, “but I didn’t have enough paint.” He frowns, eyes wandering over his painting.

Changmin turns back to look at the artwork, furrowing his brows. “Wait, so if this is me and Teacher Y/N, I’m guessing that’s Teacher Y/N?” Changmin points to the figure on the right before directing his finger over to the figure on the left. “...And that’s me?”

“Nope!!” Hyunjae repeats, snatching the painting out of Changmin’s hand. He then pointed to the figure on the right. “That’s you, oh and that’s me in the middle, and that’s Teacher Y/N!” he exclaims.

“Really?” Unable to hide the shock in his tone, Changmin lowers his voice so he wouldn’t bring any unnecessary attention to the pair.

“Yeah! Oh! And you see these wings behind Teacher Y/N? Those are angel wings! Oh! And you’re the devil.”

“...What?”

Changmin reaches to take the painting back into his grasp, glancing at it, and surely enough, there are poorly drawn devil horns adorning the top of his head in the painting.

“I got bored,” Hyunjae explains nonchalantly, truly finding no issue with what he drew. “And they make you look cool!!!”

“You are terrible,” Changmin sighs out, but Hyunjae’s frown at the comment made him completely switch up his words. “...-Terribly adorable!!” He coos, giving one of Hyunjae’s cheeks a pinch.

Your voice rips the two out of their momentary fit of giggles, adding to the ruckus being caused around the sinks. Not only were Youngjae and Sunwoo splashing water at each other, but two other boys were huddled up by the sink in the corner of the counter, their backs hunching over the sink.

“Not again!” you cry out loud. “Younghoon, Chanhee, away from the sink, I beg.”

Both Hyunjae and Changmin turn to look at you out of curiosity, watching how you pull the pair away from the sink. The action reveals the bunches of paintbrushes gripped in their hands, giggles escaping the two boys. Changmin chuckles at the sight, shaking his head in disbelief at the two boys’ repeated antics before turning back to face Hyunjae.

“Do you want to help me hang these up?” Changmin raises the paintings in his hands, presenting them to Hyunjae. The boy brightens up at the sigh, rapidly nodding his head in response. Content, Changmin stands up and gives Hyunjae his hand to hold onto, leading the boy over to the bulletin board.

“That’s Juyeon’s painting,” Hyunjae points out, referring to the painting that was already pinned up. “Youngjae and Sunwoo were bullying his plane, so Teacher Y/N helped him put it up.”

“Youngjae and Sunwoo were bullying him?”

Hyunjae shrugs, not really caring. “They’re mean.”

A laugh escapes Changmin when he hands Hyunjae the painting, moving on from the topic by bringing the boy up into his arms, picking him up. When he feels like he has a firm grip around Hyunjae, he uses his free hand to open the box of push pins. “You’ll hold the paintings up to the board, and I’ll pin them in, okay?” he hums, looking at Hyunjae for confirmation.

Surprisingly, Hyunjae proves to be very cautious when holding the paintings up for Changmin. With every painting they successfully pin up, Changmin let’s out a ‘woo!’ before scooting over a few centimeters to pin up the next one.

Once the two are finished, Changmin tells Hyunjae to hurry and wash his hands. The boy complies, running over to join you and the rest of the boys by the sinks.

Changmin follows after him with a satisfied grin, picking up the baskets of paint tubes on his way over to you. He sets them by the counter with the rest of the baskets before running his hands under the faucet. While all the boys rushed to take their lunch bags out of their backpacks, you had your arm buried in the drain, fishing out the paintbrushes the two rascals shoved in there for fun.

“Want me to help again?” he chuckles, drying his hands with a paper towel after turning off the faucet.

You shake your head, rejecting his offer. “You did a lot already,” you explain, turning your gaze back to the sink. A thin paintbrush was pulled out of the drain and set aside before your arm dived in once again, checking to see if there were any remaining ones left. You turn to look back at Changmin, eyeing him. “Thank you, by the way.”

“I’ve barely done anything,” Changmin pouts, leaning against the counter as he watches you.

This time, you pull out a slightly bigger paintbrush, that one joining the tiny one to the side. “Well, it’s the most help I’ve ever gotten since I opened this daycare,” you snort, avoiding eye contact.

Changmin notices the way your face falls when the realization of the lack of help dawns on you, feeling his heart drop as he knew he was part of that cause.

But before he could apologize for the nth time that day, you smile, slowly moving your head over to look at him. “You should go eat with the rest of the kids, by the way.”

Changmin bites the inside of his lip, his gaze flickering between your struggling hand and the kids scurrying to sit with their friends. “I mean...are you sure? I bought lunch for the both of us,” he reminds you, taking a glance at the plastic bag of take-out ramen placed by one of the sinks earlier. “It’d be pretty rude of me to start without you…”

“Oh,” you murmur, recalling the gesture. You’re unable to stop the heat from shooting up to your cheeks, trying to avert your attention back to the paintbrushes in the drain. “Right, uh, it’ll be okay. I’ll join you in a bit, then.” You send him a warm, reassuring smile and turn your attention back to the sink.

He nods and leaves you to bring the plastic bag into his hands, taking it over to one of the vacant round tables within the room, setting it down.

All ten boys are quick to crowd Changmin in a matter of seconds once he has taken a seat, intrigued with what the teacher had brought for lunch. Specifically, Haknyeon was interested in the styrofoam cups being pulled out of the bag, scurrying his way through the elder boys to catch a glimpse of Changmin’s lunch.

Not being used to receiving this amount of attention, the teacher easily grows flustered with the number of kids surrounding him, not really knowing how to have them get back to their seats. So he opts to continue what he was doing, removing the lids from the cups and setting them to the side whilst ignoring the oohs and aahs coming from the children. It truly makes him flustered with every word that leaves the kids, avoiding eye contact with all of them.

“Boys, go back to your seats.”

Their heads shoot up towards you, doing exactly as you say in an instant at the sight of you. You are drying your hands with a paper towel as you approach Changmin, giving the relieved male a playful wink. Laughter escapes you when he avoids having his gaze meet yours, too embarrassed to send you a thanks.

But the remaining smile on his lips and the faint blush on his cheeks already does all the thanking, especially when you pull over a chair to sit right beside him.

Shyly, he slides over one of the styrofoam cups and gives you a set of chopsticks before focusing on his own meal. He pulls the chopsticks out of its paper covering, snapping the wooden sticks apart while you’re quick to dig into the ramen, eating happily while watching the other kids begin their lunch.

There are multiple conversations happening in the room, but with only ten other students, it isn’t hard to differentiate each one. Sangyeon, Joonyoung, and Youngjae are all talking about their older siblings while Chanhee, Hyungseo, and Sunwoo are talking about cheese. Why? You don’t know, but somehow the conversation ends up being way more interesting than expected, and it makes you tune in, listening to each word that leaves that certain table’s mouth.

Meanwhile, the last table consisted of Juyeon, Hyunjae, Haknyeon, and Younghoon. Hyunjae was the one who did most of the talking, but only two boys were listening.

Before Changmin is able to dip his chopsticks into the ramen, Haknyeon somehow manages to slip away from his table unnoticed and makes his way over to the male with quick steps. He stands right next to Changmin when he’s about to take his first bite, staring at him. His eyes do all the talking, begging for Changmin to share it with him.

Changmin sits there, frozen as the noodles hang from his chopsticks. He locks eyes with Haknyeon, and only then does the four-year-old open his mouth, pointing to it.

The ‘ahh’ that leaves Haknyeon is what makes your attention from Sunwoo’s rant about melted cheese shift over to what was happening between Haknyeon and Changmin, almost choking on the noodles due to the sudden presence of the young boy. A burst of sudden laughter erupts from your throat, letting your chopsticks rest in your cup as you bring a napkin up to wipe your lips.

You’ve been used to Haknyeon always approaching you whenever it was lunch time ever since he started attending the daycare. You reacted the same way Changmin is reacting currently, but as time passed, you eventually learned how to say no to his puppy eyes. Though there have been times when you gave in, but you made sure that he would ask politely before doing so.

But clearly, he forgot to do as such when it came to Changmin.

Well, either that or Haknyeon just didn’t care about being polite since Changmin was the new teacher.

“He wants to eat your food,” you hum, your insight snapping him out of his frozen daze. He notices the way you pick up your chopsticks and point them at his cup before continuing to finish whatever you had left.

“I figured,” Changmin mumbles. He isn’t even sure how to explain to a four year old that he himself was starving and truly needed this cup of take-out ramen to himself, so he gives up and easily caves in.

He sets the chopsticks aside before bringing Haknyeon into his lap. Carefully, he twirls the noodles around his chopsticks and brings it into the four year old’s mouth, feeding him while his free hand is placed below his mouth in case there would be any spills.

You watch the two’s every movement, continuing to stuff your mouth as you speak. “Do you not plan on eating?”

He loudly sighs with a pout overtaking his features, subtly shaking his head. Changmin then looks at Haknyeon, watching the boy eating his oh so precious ramen with the happiest smile on his face. The sight eventually brings a smile to the teacher’s face. “I’m sure this little kiddo is starving way more than I am, so I’ll be okay,” he reassures.

As Haknyeon chews, Changmin notices the sounds the boy was making while eating. He pokes his cheek with his index finger, the grin on his lips making his cheeks hurt. “Good job,” he praises after feeding him another bite. He then looks at you, deciding to mimic the noises Haknyeon made while chewing seconds earlier. “Nyam nyam nyam nyam nyam.”

You snort, holding yourself back from smiling. “Did you just- did I hear you correctly?”

The smile on his lips doesn’t falter when he brings his chin over to rest on top of Haknyeon’s head, leaning against the small boy in his arms with the cheekiest look on his face. “Nyam nyam,” he responds.

“...Oh my god, don’t start talking like that,” you groan, feeling embarrassed when he lets out a laugh.

Changmin continues to feed the boy in his lap, playing with him in the process. As continuous ‘ahh’s leave both of their lips, you choose to bring your attention back to the rest of the boys in the room. You watch as a majority of them become immersed into trading their snacks with one another, Chanhee breaks out into whines when Hyungseo scams him out of a bag of gummies.

Youngjae hears the commotion going on and seeing Chanhee triggered tears of his own, bailing while hitting his hands against the table.

With a sigh, you quickly pat your lips dry before standing up, ready to go over and calm the boy down. This easily captures Changmin’s attention in the middle of him playing airplane with Haknyeon, freezing with his chopsticks being held up in the air.

“Wait, Y/N.”

His words stop you from proceeding further, the wails only getting louder within the playroom. Joonyoung is basically slapping Youngjae’s back at this point to calm him down, but the action really doesn’t do much justice.

Changmin quickly turns to face Haknyeon and whispers a question along the lines of ‘you know how to use chopsticks, right?’ to him before having the boy occupy his seat despite Haknyeon shaking his head no. While Haknyeon starts creating a mess with the chopsticks he was given, Changmin goes over to you. “Just finish eating, I got it.”

“What? Wait what, no, Changmin it’s okay.” You remove yourself from the table, but he stops you, warily holding onto your shoulder.

“I’m serious. I want to redeem myself, I got this.”

Without giving you a chance to respond, he leaves you and rushes over to Youngjae.

You are hesitant since Changmin really doesn’t know how to deal with kids, at least from what he’s told you, and you are debating whether to join him or not. You eventually ease back into your seat, wanting to make sure Haknyeon wouldn’t choke himself with the chopsticks.

By now, Chanhee has fully shut up because of how loud Youngjae was, the boy covering his ears as he no longer cares about Hyungseo eating all his gummies. A loud groan comes from Sangyeon, telling the boy to shut up.

Changmin goes to stand in front of Youngjae, crouching down to reach his level. There is visible panic that fills his vision, mind racing with ideas on how to calm a crying toddler.

You’re about to stand up again and step in but Changmin is quick to make a decision, taking action shortly after by grabbing the toy train from the table. He dashes away from Youngjae as fast as he could with the train, running to the opposite side of the playroom.

Youngjae’s cries come to an immediate halt when seeing how his train has been stolen, sprinting after the poor teacher.

It leads to Changmin being tackled onto the reading rug by not only Youngjae, but his best friend as well, the two youngest boys falling into fits of giggles when Youngjae dances in victory after stealing his train back.

Sunwoo continues to lie on top of Changmin, having the teacher in a chokehold, but the male makes no attempt to move, lying down on the rug with a satisfied grin resting on his lips. He shoots you a smile when he catches your gaze, making you look away in an instant.

But in the midst of Youngjae dancing, the boy accidentally trips over Changmin’s ankle, falling right back into his sobs when he hits the ground.

“Not really fond of kids my ass,” you grumble after recalling Changmin’s attitude given on the day you showed him around. You are standing by one of the round tables while analyzing the way Changmin picks up the boys one by one to give them a warm hug as they begin to leave.

“Y/N!” he exclaims after hearing you, pressing Sangyeon’s head against his shoulder as if to cover his ears. “There are kids here!”

Sangyeon is too immersed in snuggling up into Changmin’s embrace to even care about you saying a curse word while Hyunjae is glued to Changmin’s side, holding onto his shirt while looking up at the two, or well, three, of you.

“Teacher Y/N always curses around us,” the one on the ground explains, making your co-teacher shoot daggers your way. “But it’s okay! Teacher Y/N even lets us curse!! Just not around our mommies and daddies,” Hyunjae hiccups, reassuring Changmin with the ecstatic smile on his face as he finds no issue with what he just uttered.

Changmin thanks Hyunjae for the newfound information, setting Sangyeon back down on the ground so the two boys can go off and play for a bit before having to leave.

“You let them curse? Seriously?” Changmin cocks his brow at you. “What do you teach these kids?”

“A lot,” you admit, shrugging your shoulders. “They’re my world though, remember? They’re all I really have in life, but trust me, they’re all very respectful. Plus only Hyungseo and Sangyeon curse! The rest just don’t care, and even so, none of them could hurt a fly.” You pause, your eyes looking around the room for the only blondie in your room. Both yours and Changmin’s gazes trace after Haknyeon’s actions when he removes one of his shoes from his feet, an excited Sunwoo and Youngjae tailing after him when he walks up to one of the bigger windows in the playroom.

“Except for Haknyeon,” you add. “I don’t really know about Haknyeon.”

Haknyeon tosses his shoe at the window, scaring the fly away that was there previously.

“Mommy!! Daddy!!” Younghoon exclaims, running over to his parents that have just entered the playroom.

You urge Changmin to follow after him, having him meet Younghoon’s parents as you watch over the rest. One by one as the children leave, Changmin waves goodbye to all the parents that enter the playroom to pick their sons up, sending a warm smile and a hug to the boys leaving.

“You like the kids, don’t you?” you ask when Changmin returns from the front door, joining you by one of the tables as you both supervise the last two boys in the playroom, watching Hyunjae excitedly show off the small building he’s made with legos to Sangyeon.

The smile on his lips doesn’t falter at the question, giving you a jest as a response. “Maybe I do.”

Though, the grin contradicts his teasing words, especially when Sangyeon leaves his spot to run over to Changmin, pulling the teacher over to meet his parents and older sister that have just arrived.

When the playroom is finally rid of all the children, except for Hyunjae, you and Changmin begin to clean up, starting with washing the surfaces of the tables first.

“When will Hyunjae’s parents pick him up?” Changmin asks, curious since it has been ten minutes since Sangyeon has last left.

“That,” you sigh. “I don’t know.” You wipe the sinks clean of their paint, washing it all down the drain. You frown when you reach the last sink by the corner (the sink that keeps being choked with paintbrushes that Younghoon and Chanhee manage to pull out of their asses), noticing that the water wouldn’t go down the drain. “God damn these kids,” you mutter, making a mental note to call the plumber.

Once every table has been wiped down and all the sinks have been cleared of paint, you and Changmin move to the small shelves that hold the countless number of toys you had bought recently for the summer wave. As you help one another put the toys back into their respective plastic bins, Hyunjae is by the bookshelves, browsing through them for a book that he wants you to read to him.

“They really do adore you,” you comment, breaking the silence. You stay focused on organizing the toys rather than Changmin’s reaction to your sudden words, avoiding his gaze at all costs.

“Do they?”

“Of course they do. You’ve only been here for what, one full day? And it’s clear you’re wonderful with kids, or at least with the kids we have here. I don’t know why you said otherwise a week ago.”

His cheeks flush up at the compliment, shyly rubbing the back of his neck after snapping the lid shut onto one of the bins. “I, uh, never really worked with kids before. Not like this, at least. I’ve always just assumed I’d be horrible with kids because I guess I always found them irritating, like, very, so today was quite the surprise for me too,” he coughs out, darting his gaze anywhere else but you.

“Well, for someone who has never worked with kids, you did really, really well with handling the situations and getting along with the boys today. I mean it,” you hum as you stack one of the bins on top of the other, pushing them back into the shelves. “You brought so many smiles to their faces when you arrived.”

“Thanks,” he murmurs.

The silence that has returned would’ve been deafening to both of your ears if it wasn’t for Hyunjae singing along to the song Kidult by Seventeen while skimming the shelves. It’s the only sound that accompanies you when you two finish cleaning up whatever was left with the toys, but the question lingering in your mind threatens to break the tension between you two.

“Changmin, if you don’t mind me asking, what-...what made you decide to come back?” you whisper.

His head shoots up to look at you. He stands up when he sees that you both have finished with the toys, hesitant on how to answer. His mouth is repeatedly opening and closing every few seconds, unable to form any words as he thinks. “Uhm…”

He looks over at the boy by the shelves, watching him struggle to reach for one of the books on the top shelf while standing on his tippy toes, pausing his singing to focus on grabbing it.

“Hyunjae,” Changmin finally answers. “Hyunjae’s the reason.”

And you. He came back for you too.

“He’s the sweetest, isn’t he?” you sigh, walking over to one of the tables to sit down.

Changmin nods along to your words. “He definitely has my heart,” he adds.

Changmin does the same, choosing to sit in the seat next to yours as you both watch Hyunjae flip through the pages of the book, a frown making its way up to his face when he realizes that he’s already read it. He goes back to singing Kidult after putting the book back on the shelf, continuing to look for one that catches his attention.

You look over at the door of the playroom, it being wide open as it waits for Hyunjae’s mother to walk through the doorway. When you look at the clock, you frown, taking note of how it’s been an hour since Sangyeon has left, and there has been no message from Mrs. Lee about arriving late.

“You know how his name is Hyunjae?” you ask, sparking up a conversation about the little boy. You continue when Changmin nods. “Well, I don’t know if you heard his mother when she arrived on your first day here, but his actual name is Jaehyun.”

Changmin’s face morphs into pure shock, but he stays silent, urging you to continue with your ramble. He stares into your eyes while you look at the boy by the shelves, a smile making its way to both of your faces when you hear him attempt to reach Dokyeom’s high note in Kidult.

“When he first started attending the daycare, I mistook his name as Hyunjae. I always called him that in front of the other kids, and soon enough those kids also started calling him Hyunjae because he never corrected any of us. I didn’t actually know his name was Jaehyun until I had a proper conversation with his mother.

When I brought this up to Hyunjae, he explained that he preferred being called Hyunjae. He liked it especially because it brings him a sense of comfort and inclusivity. His parents never gave him a nickname growing up, always referring to him as ‘Jaehyun’. He says he always wanted someone to call him ‘Jae’ or ‘Hyun’, so when he heard me calling him ‘Hyunjae’, he assumed it was a nickname I’ve made up for him. He said it was the first time since someone had ever given him a nickname like that and stated how special it was to him. So because of that, I never stopped and neither did the kids. I don’t think half of them even know that Jaehyun is his real name, but I doubt Hyunjae would like them to know anyway.”

Changmin listens to your story in awe whilst Hyunjae was completely oblivious to the talk you were having about him.

“The name Hyunjae really does suit him, though. As much as I love the other boys, he truly stands out. One of a kind, if you ask me. Like his name, he’s a gift to the class. Then again, more so a gift to me, if anything. I couldn’t ask for anything better. He’s always making the other boys smile, being the absolute mood maker of the daycare. Sometimes he appears out of nowhere and scares the shit out of me, but it all doesn’t matter in the end because I’m always thankful for his presence. ‘Surprise, it’s Hyunjae, your surprise present!’ used to be his catchphrase, but it’s been a while since I’ve heard it from him...” You chew on your bottom lip, heart already aching at the reason behind why he had stopped saying it.

“Hyunjae’s mother caught him saying it to me once and told him to never say it again-...Why? I don’t really know.”

With a gulp, you’re hesitant to continue, but you push forward, wanting to dump all your thoughts out, even if Changmin was still considered only a co-worker to you.

“His parents- they’re sweet, I’m sure, but they never give Hyunjae the time of day. In the years I’ve had Hyunjae here, I’ve only met his father once. Crazy, isn’t it?”

Your laugh is bittersweet.

“I love them, but there are days when I wish I could take care of Hyunjae myself, you know? Take him back to my apartment, feed him, read him a few books, tuck him into bed. Just do anything instead of having him go back to a home where he’s barely acknowledged. If he wasn’t at the daycare, he would be at home with a babysitter...It’s not only that his parents work a lot, but they also do everything without him. Shopping, partying, hanging out with friends of their own whenever given the chance, and a year ago, the babysitter quit. There really hasn’t been any changes in their habits except they would call me to ask if they could drop him off at the daycare in the middle of the night, treating me like I’m the new babysitter. I’m honestly positive they’ll do it again in the next few months.”

Changmin finally speaks up. “Have you tried talking to his mother about it?”

You bitterly suck in some air, eyes roaming around the playroom as you nod. “Yeah, I have. Multiple times actually, stating that a child needs attention from their parents, even if it’s only every once in a while. She honestly...didn’t really appreciate me talking about it. Says it’s none of my business.

His mother has always been the sweetest to me and still is, but whenever I bring the topic up, she gets angry. She lashed out the last time I mentioned how important it was for her to be there for him and eventually yelled at Hyunjae for telling me about his personal life…H-He cried about it to me the next day, running into my arms to tell me all that had happened the night before, so ever since then I do my best to shut up about it around her.”

Tears start pooling up in your eyes when your mind replays what happened that day, wiping them away instantly. “It’s a shame, really, how she speaks so highly of him but treats him otherwise from what I’ve been told.” The topic saddens you the more you talk about it, resting your head in your arms on the table. Hyunjae has stopped singing, flipping through the pages of another book. “Your heart isn’t the only one Hyunjae owns.”

Once again, Hyunjae is shoving the book right back into the shelves, looking for another one that he would think you’d read wonderfully.

“I really do wish there will be a day where I can adopt him. I know it’s impossible, but it’d be a dream come true: to have a son like him, to give him the parenting he deserves. Though, Hyunjae’s mother loves him too much to give him to someone else, and it’s completely understandable.

I just wished that even if they couldn’t spare him a second of their time, they’d at least treat him well and call him by what he wants to be called instead of ignoring what makes him happy. He once tried getting them to call him Hyunjae, but they ignored it, sticking with Jaehyun, and we both know how that turned out. I guess that’s why Hyunjae’s mother didn’t like it whenever he used that catchphrase around me. ‘Jaehyun is his birth name’ is what she used to reason with.”

Throughout your entire rant, Changmin’s gazing into your eyes as you speak with so much love in your tone, resonating with the pain you’re feeling. He listens to everything with a broken heart of his own, wishing that he could pull you into your arms and tell you it’s alright. He fights back from doing so, allowing his hands to rest in his lap as listens to you continue.

“I really can’t express how much I want to be there for him when he isn’t at the daycare. I wish to be there for him on the weekends, but I guess this is the most I could do for him.” You suck in a sharp breath, slowing your breathing in order to calm your bubbling anxiety.

“Hyunjae—really means a lot to me. I’d honestly save him from the world if I’m ever given a chance. I’d gladly take a bullet for him any day, you know?” And for once, you finally turn to face Changmin, a weak smile being brought onto your lips as your eyes connect with his. “I saw the painting he made on the bulletin board earlier,” you add, “and it’s clear you mean just as much to him as he does to me, so thank you. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for making him so incredibly happy.”

Changmin is left speechless, especially when your eyes hold the starry nights in them. You look at him with such sincerity and vulnerability, truly thankful. The pain from leaving you and the boys has stuck with him ever since he slammed the door on you guys, making his heart drop to the pit of his stomach every time he thinks back to it.

“Of course. I’d do anything for him.” He looks right back into your eyes, reaching to bring one of your hands into his. The intimate moment causes the both of you to fall silent, and it has Changmin’s mind racing. He wishes that he had done better and had been more mature about the situation, but after a week of thinking about his actions, he knew he wanted to better himself. Not only for Hyunjae, but for you as well.

“I’d do anything for you too,” he adds through a whisper. He shortly realizes how weird it sounds for him to say that to someone he barely even knew, clearing his throat loudly before correcting himself. “I just feel really bad for ditching you...too.”

You sniff, laughing at his words. “It’s pitiful, isn’t it? How this is my job? I’m barely making a living out of it.” With a sigh, you gently pull away from his grasp and lean back into your seat. You shake your head, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. “I’m sorry for becoming so vulnerable in front of you. Everyone always becomes so- hateful when they hear about children, and it hurts my heart because these ten boys own my everything. Even if it would only be me taking care of their chaos this summer, I couldn’t be happier. I’m just, really glad to have finally found someone that cares just as much for these boys as I do. Even if you don’t verbally admit it, I see it. Something changed you this past week.” You look at him with hope, wanting him to confirm your words.

And he does as so with a nod, eyes darting down to his fingers. “Yeah, something did.”

Before you could ask him what had changed him, Hyunjae is running over to you with a stack of books in his hands, making you shut down the conversation you were having with Changmin.

“Five books today?” you ask after counting the number of books he was holding, confused.

Hyunjae hugs the books close to his chest as he looks at the clock, creases forming on his forehead. “I don’t think mommy is coming soon,” he mumbles, setting the pile of books onto the table. He chooses one for you to read and hands it to you, climbing onto your lap. He waves to Changmin with a grin before getting comfortable in his spot by shifting into your embrace, clapping his hands excitedly when you open the book.

Changmin understood everything you said earlier, but he understands how you feel about Hyunjae even more as he watches you read the book out loud with the boy pointing to every picture that you two come across. He also notices every single detail about you as you continue reading. He sees the way your eyes glimmer when you look at the boy between your arms and the smile on your lips when Hyunjae perks up at the plot twist of the picture book. His loud gasp and commentary make both you and Changmin grin.

By now, Changmin should be at home on his couch, relaxing while scrolling through a list of shows because he no longer had a use at the near vacant daycare, but he refuses to leave you and Hyunjae alone.

So he continues to listen to the way your voice glides across the pages of the book, becoming immersed in the stories made for children.

And for the first time in forever, Changmin feels at home. Your voice brings him into so much ease, and he knew at that moment he would never want to leave either of your sides.

Soon enough, two hours have passed, and within those hours, you have read eleven books to the two boys. Although Hyunjae has fallen asleep against your embrace, you continue reading the twelfth book in your hands.

Your words come to a stop when you feel a head gently falling onto your shoulder, turning to see that Changmin has fallen asleep as well.

The snores that came from the two boys accompany your silence, and you decide that you’ll stop reading for the time being. You do your best not to move much so you don’t wake either of the boys up, placing the book back onto the stack of books Changmin organized on the table.

You move to rest your head against Changmin’s, letting your eyes fall shut after tightening your grip around Hyunjae.

You aren’t given one single apology when Hyunjae’s mother comes to pick up her son, and Changmin’s pissed.

It is one in the morning when she pulls the glass doors open, the jingle waking you up from your slumber. Hyunjae remains fast asleep in your arms while Changmin is standing by the bookshelves, occupied with putting the books back into their respective spots. He almost drops the few books left in his arms when Hyunjae’s mother rushes into the playroom, gritting his teeth at the sight of her.

She doesn’t give you nor Changmin a single explanation as to why she was late. She doesn’t give you a ‘thank you for keeping him safe for me’ or an ‘I’m sorry for arriving this late into the night’, and instead she dismisses it with a tired gaze washed over her features.

All she says is ‘I’m here for my son’, and before Changmin could speak up, you already have Hyunjae up in your arms, holding him close against your chest as you leave the room with his mother.

Changmin fumbles to get the last few books back into the bookshelves before rushing to follow after you, stopping in his tracks right when he exits the glass doors. He watches you intently, noticing how you give Hyunjae a kiss to his forehead while his mother wasn’t looking after buckling him into his booster seat. You wave her goodbye when the car drives off, turning to look back at Changmin.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, right?” His lips are pressed into a thin line after pushing out the words, arms crossed tightly over his abdomen with an intense gaze locked onto your eyes.

While it seems like you’re used to it, Changmin is extremely irritated with how the situation turned out to be.

Both of you knew this isn’t how a mother should be when picking up her child in the middle of the night.

Your rant about Hyunjae’s mother didn’t help Changmin’s thoughts whatsoever, his hatred for Mrs. Lee only increasing when you don’t give him a response.

The tears from before start returning to your eyes, your eyes becoming extremely glossy under the moonlight. You rush to push past him, ignoring the way he frustratingly tails after you inside.

“There’s no way you’re letting her do this to you. Y/N, seriously?? She’s basically using you to hold Hyunjae and chooses to pick him up whenever she feels like it. The daycare closes at a certain time, and she should know that. Hell, Y/N, she does know that.” You swing the door to the playroom wide open as Changmin speaks, blocking out his words.

“It’s whatever. It isn’t like this is the first time it’s happened,” you grumble, walking over to your desk.

Changmin stands by the doorway, leaning against it as his arms make its way back over his chest. “Doesn’t mean it’s right. You’re exhausted, and you know damn well she’s the cause. How many times has this happened??”

“It’s fine,” you spit, shoving your belongings into your bag. You don’t want to discuss the topic any further, knowing that it’ll break you if you continue, but Changmin doesn’t stop.

“You should’ve been home eight hours ago, Y/N. Eight hours ago, the daycare closed. Eight hours ago, Mrs. Lee was supposed to be here to pick. Hyunjae. Up.” You dismiss his words with the roll of your eyes, slinging the bag over your shoulder as you storm out of the playroom, Changmin trailing right after you once he turns off the lights. “And eight hours ago, both you and Hyunjae would’ve had dinner. But guess what? None of that happened.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter.

“It’s so clear. If only you would open your eyes and see how fucked up this entire situation is-”

“Oh please,” you interrupt, stopping in your steps. You turn on your heels to face him. “You’re making a fuss right now because you didn’t get to go home earlier, aren’t you? Is it because you didn’t get to eat all day? Seriously, Changmin, knock it off. It’s fine, I’m fine. It’s not my fault you were the one who chose to stay.”

Your words make his features scrunch up due to confusion. “What??? No- what? It’s none of that. Y/N, don’t you understand? I’m concerned for you.” He stops to take a deep breath, calming himself down in front of you. “I care for you.”

You just stare at him, the expression on your face being unreadable.

You’re about to leave when Changmin speaks up once again, his question having you rooted to the ground beneath your feet.

“You- you walk home, right?” he asks, unsure. “I’m just assuming because...well, my car is the only car in the parking lot right now…”

Your feet kick at the ground whilst you let out a somewhat inaudible scowl, slowly turning back around to face him again. “I do,” you mutter.

“Then can I at least drive you home? It’s late.” His eyes are begging you, and you notice the sincerity his past few sentences held. “I don’t- want you to get the wrong idea, I just- please? Can I? You’ve already had to deal with so much, and I don’t want you to wear yourself out this late in the night.”

An exasperated sigh escapes you, and you give in with the nod of your head. Changmin is more than ecstatic when you accept his offer, helping you across the street and to the park. He surprisingly opens the door to the passenger seat of his car for you, and you’re given no choice but to thank him.

While Changmin moves to settle in the front seat, you’re busy pulling up the directions to your apartment complex, putting your phone up on the dashboard for him to see.

The car ride is mostly silent, the radio being set on a low volume to accompany the two of you. It takes a while for the both of you to calm yourselves down, avoiding looking at each other at all costs.

You allow Changmin to accompany you on your way up the flight of stairs and to the door of your apartment.

He whispers an ‘I’m sorry’ when you enter your apartment, and you look at him with a warm, forgiving smile when you respond with an ‘it’s okay’.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, Changmin,” you murmur, giving him a small wave goodbye. He reciprocates the action with a ‘goodnight, Y/N’ before finally leaving, preparing himself for the hectic summer he’ll be having in front of him.

You’re busy gathering materials for the next activity you plan on having the children do when Changmin calls out for you, running over your way with Joonyoung in his arms. “Y/N!!”

“Do you need help with something?” you ask, on your tippy-toes in order to grab the baskets of colored pencils from the cabinets above the sink.

A huge grin is worn on his face when he approaches you, showing off the sleeping Joonyoung on his shoulder. “Look,” he murmurs, keeping his voice quiet in order to not wake him up. He leans his head against the boy’s while proudly smiling at you, feeling ever so giddy within.

Your gaze shifts between Joonyoung and Changmin, perplexed. “Is something wrong? Is he okay?”

“Wha- oh, him? Oh yeah, he’s fine.”

“...Then what’s the issue?” you question, closing the cabinet shut before bringing the small baskets into your arms, bringing them to the rounded tables.

Changmin follows after you, gently bouncing Joonyoung in his arms as he watches you place two baskets in the middle of each table before moving onto the next. “Nothing! There’s no issue. I just think the boys are really starting to like me.”

Once you place down the last basket in your arms, you turn to face Changmin, searching his face for any sign of a teasing demeanor, but the dimple adorning the bright smile plastered on his face makes you doubt he’s messing with you. The smile doesn’t even leave when he sees the two preschoolers behind you; if anything, it only makes his smile wider.

“You’re just figuring that out? It’s been a week since you’ve been here, Jichang, of course they like you.” You take a few steps closer to him before jabbing a finger into the middle of his chest, making him look at you. “They’ve liked you ever since your first day here, dummy.”

“Teacher Y/N just called Teacher Changmin a dummy!!” Sunwoo shrieks, alarming the class with his voice. Youngjae cackles evilly, enjoying how his best friend is the tattletale of the class.

The two kids run away when you turn around, joining the rest of the boys by the circle of bean bags.

“Were- were they always there?” you stutter, slowly turning back to face Changmin.

He nods with a laugh. “Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything though.”

Changmin glances at the sleeping boy in his arms, bringing a hand up to the boy’s face to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “And in response to what you said earlier, sure, some of the boys liked me on my first day here, but it took a while for the rest to like me, like Joonyoung!”

He then gently presses his hand up against one of Joonyoung’s ears as if to deafen him temporarily (despite him already being fast asleep), leaning forward in order to whisper to you through the loud laughs coming from the bean bags. “Do you know how superior I feel?”

You chuckle, gently pushing him away from you. “I’ve told you many times that you work really, really well with kids. Honestly Changmin, you’re even becoming a kid yourself.”

Sunwoo interrupts your conversation by running back to the two of you, but instead of Youngjae tagging along, it was Haknyeon. “Teacher Y/N!!” Sunwoo screams, waving up in the air to grab your attention. “Teacher teac- oh-” he stops making a fuss when he sees Joonyoung stirring in Changmin’s arms, one of the boy’s hands reaching up to rub his eyes open.

Changmin mutters a ‘darn it’, but wishes Joonyoung a good morning, quietly asking him if he had a good nap on his shoulder.

“Teacher Y/N,” Sunwoo repeats.

“Is there something wrong?” you ask, looking to see where the two boys came from. You realize that the room went dead silent, frantic gazes presented on both Sunwoo’s and Haknyeon’s faces. Your eyes trail back to the bean bags, seeing Youngjae’s body sprawled out while the other kids poke at his cheeks.

“Youngjae fell asleep,” Haknyeon explains, raising the water bottle he’s been holding in his head.

“Then let him sleep,” you sigh.

“Wasn’t he awake just two minutes ago?” Changmin wonders, setting Joonyoung down on the ground so the boy is able to join the rest of the children.

“He knocks out randomly,” Sunwoo explains.

Haknyeon starts shaking the bottle in your face. “Teacher Y/N,” he pouts, finally garnering your attention.

“Oh what- holy hell, no Haknyeon, we are not doing that again-”

“Pretty pleaseeee,” Sunwoo begs, Haknyeon being quick to join his pleas.

“A no is a no,” you explain. “The last time we did that, Youngjae threw a fit and caused all of us to go hide in the bathroom while he-”

“Thank you, Teacher Changmin!!” the boys thank in unison, running back over to the bean bags with the now opened water bottle.

You look at your co-teacher in disbelief, mouth fallen agape. His hands were on his hips, satisfied with what he had just done and the cheers heard throughout the playroom from the other boys.

Only then did he realize your wide eyes were staring into his soul.

“What?”

“T-They’re going to pour the water on Youngjae,” you sputter.

“Yeah, I guessed.”

“...He’s four. He could drown.”

“I know CPR….kind of. But hey, YouTube exists!!” he beamed.

Both of your heads snap over to the group of boys when Youngjae gasps for air, his piercing gaze darting towards the boys that had poured water on him.

“You really are a kid,” you mutter, taking his wrist in your hand before dragging him over to the closet in the corner of the playroom.

Changmin is too busy locking eyes with Sunwoo, giving the young boy a thumbs up before returning his focus back over to you. “Am not! I’m just the cooler teacher between the both of us.”

“You’re the bratty one if anything.” You pull the closet open and grab the mop after releasing him from your grip.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous,” he coos, letting out a huff when you hand him the mop. “Also, I’d prefer playful, not bratty.”

“Changmin? Playful? Well, isn’t that new?” You mimic his coo, shoving an empty bucket into his chest. “Fill it up with water.”

“Wait- how does cleaning water with water make any sen-”

“Oh just do it, Changmin.”

You’re busy playing bingo with Hyunjae, Sunwoo, and Haknyeon when Hyungseo walks up to you, shyly standing next to you with his hands behind his back. “Teacher Y/N...I have a question,” he begins.

“Oh? What is it?” you ask, pulling Hyungseo away from the table in case it turns out to be something personal.

You can hear Sunwoo saying ‘awh man’ in the background, and it makes you assume that Hyunjae won with the loud ‘HAH’ that follows afterwards.

“Why hasn’t Teacher Changmin read us anything yet? Is he not going to read to the class?” Hyungseo is kicking at his feet when he speaks, avoiding eye contact.

“That is a...very good question, Hyungseo.” You look over at your co-teacher and find him brushing a doll’s hair with Chanhee, the two looking like they were in a very deep conversation. “Should we go over to him and ask?”

Hyungseo nods and follows you over to the pair. You have Hyungseo join Chanhee before taking Changmin into your grasp, pulling him up onto his feet before bringing him out of earshot.

Changmin still has the doll in his hand with the brush tangled in its hair, waving it in front of you. “I don’t know if you can see, Y/N, but I was busy playing salon with Chanhee.”

You roll your eyes. “Guess what Hyungseo just asked me.”

“What?”

“‘Why hasn’t Teacher Changmin read us anything?’” you repeat Hyungseo’s plea word for word.

His face falls blank at the question, pushing away from you in order to avoid the question. You laugh loudly and pull him back.

“C’mon Jichang, he’s not wrong.”

“Says the one who calls me Jichang,” he grumbles, setting the doll aside on one of the tables.

“It rolls off the tongue easier,” you shrug. “But that’s not the point. July is almost approaching, which means you’ve basically been here for around three weeks, and you haven’t read a single story to the class.” You frown, loosely hugging yourself as you continue with your eyes slowly drifting away from Changmin. “I know you’re only here for the money, but it wouldn’t hurt to read to them, you know?”

Changmin internally flinches at the mention, wishing he wasn’t reminded of why he was here in the first place. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he explains. “It’s just-...well, okay yeah, it’s because I don’t want to.”

“Exactly, but at least try it once! Just to see how it goes, and if it turns out traumatizing, then you don’t have to do it again for the rest of the summer.”

“I’m not reading a story-”

“STORY!” Youngjae squeaks, running out from behind Changmin’s legs and over to the bookshelves to grab a book.

Sunwoo awkwardly steps out too, waving to the both of you before leaving.

Changmin’s left in shock. “Were they always there?”

“Yep.”

He sighs, rubbing his temples.

Youngjae trips over his feet when he runs back over to you two with a book in his hands, reaching up to hand it to Changmin. Changmin takes it and stares at the cover, his distressed eyes turning into shocked ones.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Nope. Not doing this. The Three Little Pigs? More like not today!-”

“Great!!” you exclaim, clapping your hands. “Everyone, gather by the reading rug because Teacher Changmin has a story he’s going to read to us.”

Changmin glares at you, but you’re too busy moving the kids to the rug. You have them all sit down while facing the rocking chair you bought recently, motioning Changmin to come over.

Out of all the kids, Hyungseo is the one most excited despite having already read The Three Little Pigs on countless occasions. He’s the one sitting closest to the chair, hand in hand with Joonyoung as they anticipate the new reader.

Seeing him makes Changmin give in with a sigh, walking over to sit in the rocking chair. Changmin’s never been a fan of reading, much less a fan of reading out loud, but considering they’re only kids, he convinces himself that it can’t be too bad. Not to mention it’s a children’s book and not a presentation.

Though, it doesn’t help that all ten boys are staring at him in silence, waiting for the teacher to start.

You pull one of the chairs out from under a table, bringing it over to the rug to join the rest. You give him a warm smile to reassure his anxious state, gesturing for him to begin.

Juyeon catches your presence from the corner of his eye and stands up, almost stepping on Youngjae as he makes his way over to you. The preschooler reaches out his hands, hesitantly asking if he could sit in your lap through a whisper.

A laugh escapes you as you nod, pulling him up into your lap. While you’re checking to see that Juyeon is snug in your embrace, Changmin is constantly clearing his throat in order to spare himself some time from reading.

“Oh hurry up,” Younghoon groans loudly, earning himself a slap from Hyungseo.

“I will throw this book at you,” Changmin threatens, eliciting a laugh out of the younger boys of the group. The teacher clears his throat once more before opening it up to the first page.

When he begins to read, his voice comes off as shaky, but as time passes, Changmin grows to naturally read the words off the pages with ease, making sure to project his voice loud enough for the boys.

It all goes smoothly until Haknyeon stands up in the middle of the story to head over to you, asking you through a whisper if he could go use the bathroom. You nod as a response and give him the ‘go ahead’.

You turn your attention back to Changmin and notice his eyes looking into yours, the story coming to a halt.

‘Is he okay?’ he mouths, gesturing towards Haknyeon with a worried expression.

You reassure him by mouthing ‘he’s okay’ in return, and the stiffness in his posture fades.

So Changmin continues and even tries making it fun for the boys, mimicking the wolf by lowering his voice to the best of his abilities. The kids burst into a fit of laughter when Changmin starts to choke after attempting to recreate the wolf’s blow in the story, pulling a chuckle out of you as well.

The room is then filled with the sound of the phone ringing, making everyone’s head turn to the direction of the sound. You bring Juyeon down onto the ground in order to stand up, making your way over to the phone.

“It’s Teacher Y/N’s boyfriend!!” Youngjae screams, causing him to be shoved over by Chanhee.

Changmin hears this and perks up.

“Boyfriend?” he murmurs, setting the book down before jogging over to you out of curiosity. “Since when do you have a boyfriend?”

“Since never,” you snort. “They just like teasing me about it because I’m single.”

When Changmin parts his lips to respond, you bring a finger up to your own, motioning him to hush as you bring the phone up to your ear.

“Hello, this is Y/N speaking.”

“Y/N! Goodness gracious, I’ve been stuck in traffic for the past hour now, and I’m nowhere near home. I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick Chanhee up in time today.”

“It’s no problem, seriously,” you respond while eyeing Changmin. “Thank you so much for calling in advance.”

The playroom goes back to being filled with the children’s laughter, but Changmin is still tuning into your conversation, leaning against the cabinets.

“Chanhee is doing great here...Mhm, yeah, seriously, it’s no worries...You too! Have a wonderful day, Mrs. Choi.”

The phone call ends with a smirk on Changmin’s face, and you blatantly ignore it while putting the phone away.

“So, you’re single?”

“You stayed here during the entire conversation just to ask that?”

“No, actually. I also wanted to bring up how that is exactly how a situation should be handled—unlike what Hyunjae’s mother has been doing for the past few weeks. She’s never consistent with picking Hyunjae up and never calls to inform you.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

You’ve heard enough of Changmin’s scolding for the past three weeks, and he’s used the excuse that although he has never taken care of children in the past, he knows enough about the rights and wrongs of parenthood.

‘Were you ever a parent yourself?’ was what you had asked when you wanted him to shut up, but it only made him point out that he doesn’t have to be a parent to know human decency.

“Hey, I’m just saying.” Changmin shrugs and follows you out from behind your desk, hands behind his back as he looks at you from over your shoulder. “So...no boyfriend?”

He’s grinning brightly, teasing you when you continue to groan loudly.

“You really enjoy the fact that I’m single, don’t you?” you say as you mop the floors.

“Huh? What makes you say that?” Changmin is also mopping with you; ever since Changmin started allowing the boys to pour water on Youngjae in order to wake him up, you bought another mop just so he could help you clean the floors.

While you two were cleaning after the long day of making paper airplanes, Hyunjae, the only boy left in the playroom (again), is on the beanbags, humming to himself while reading a book you bought specifically for him.

“You haven’t stopped teasing me about it ever since Mrs. Choi’s phone call from a week ago.”

“I mean I just didn’t know you were single until then. I never thought about your relationship status, but if I ever had to think about it, I’d assume you were seeing someone.” He shrugs, setting the mop aside to pick up the bucket of dirty water.

“Why would you assume that?” you ask, curious. You set the mop aside as well, sitting down on one of the chairs to relax your feet.

“I don’t know. I guess because you work with kids.” The impact of the water from the bucket hitting the sink makes Hyunjae squeak at the noise, the book dropping from his hands.

“I lost the page I was on,” he frowns, picking it back up.

Changmin apologizes to the boy and brings the empty bucket back over to you, hugging it.

“Are you single?” you question.

He smiles at your sudden interest in his love life, nodding. “Yeah, I am.” He then gasps, putting the bucket down on the ground before leaning over the table to look at you. “Wait if you’re single, and I’m single, can I take you out on a date?”

If you were drinking water while he spoke, you would’ve definitely spat in his face.

“I- excuse me? Huh? You want to take me out on a date?” Your question is loud enough for Hyunjae to hear it, the young boy tuning into your conversation.

“Well it sounds weird when you say it,” Changmin huffs, scrunching his nose. “I mean since we’re going to be working with each other for the next two months, why not? It wouldn’t hurt to get to know each other more. It doesn’t even have to be the romantic kind of date, just something platonic between two friends.”

You can’t help but smile at his words, glad that you aren’t the only one that considers each other ‘friends’ instead of ‘co-workers’ now. The teasing grin on his lips also makes it incredibly hard to decline his offer.

“Okay, fine.”

His grin turns into shock, not expecting you to give in so easily. “Wait, really? You’re serious, right?”

“You guys are dating?” Hyunjae asks, voice raising as he shuts the book. He leaves it behind when he runs over to you two. “You guys like each other?”

The sudden question from the kid makes the both of you unintentionally flustered.

“No,” you deny. “Go back to reading your book.”

He frowns, sulking on his way back to the bean bags.

“Is that a yes to the date?” Changmin asks, his voice a bit lower so Hyunjae is unable to hear.

“Your enthusiasm is telling me you’ve been wanting to ask me out for the past three weeks,” you tease, standing up from your spot to gather the mops into your hands.

“Again, when you say it, it sounds really weird, but hey, it isn’t wrong for me to want to get to know you better.” He picks up the bucket and leads you over to the closet, pulling it open.

“I guess you’re right there. I kind of want to learn more about you too.” You set the mops inside of the bucket once it has been placed down on the ground, going back to sit at the table.

“Really? Am I that interesting?” Changmin pulls out the chair next to you and sits down, letting out a satisfied sigh after being finally done with cleaning the playroom.

“Yes, in fact, you are,” you scoff.

Despite working with Changmin for the past three weeks, you knew absolutely nothing about his life outside of the daycare. You don’t know the person he was (or is), and what he even needed the money for.

Though, you did learn about how cocky he could get, but you blame that on the boys in the daycare. If it wasn’t for them, Changmin wouldn’t be so comfortable teasing you whenever given the chance.

“What do you want to learn about me, then?”

“That-” you stand up when hearing the jingle from the front door, “-I’ll answer when we’re on our ‘date’.”

Hyunjae scrambles to put the book on the shelf when you go to greet Hyunjae’s mother, inviting her inside the playroom. She takes her son back into her arms with ease, rushing to leave the place right after.

She barely even gives you and Changmin a chance to say goodbye, but you shrug it off, knowing you’ll see him early in the morning tomorrow.

With everyone finally gone, you are about to go relax when you see Changmin already gathering his belongings, set to leave for the day.

The sight makes you feel uneasy, unable to stop the frown from appearing on your lips. Even when all the kids are gone, you and Changmin tend to hang around the playroom and have little talks before parting ways. Never has Changmin been this eager to leave the daycare, the corner of his lips turned upwards as he shoved his belongings into his pockets.

Your first impression of Changmin was that he was a dick, only here for the money, but he surely proved himself otherwise the past few weeks, causing him to not only grow on you but grow closer to you as well. He has been all smiles whenever he was around you and the boys, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t affect you in the slightest.

And perhaps your heart did flutter when he suggested the date earlier.

You wouldn’t say you have fallen for Changmin just yet; it has only been three weeks, after all.

But in those three weeks, he’s always brought a genuine smile to your face and helped you whenever you needed it. You felt like a preschooler again with the crush you had on him, and it was hard not to perk up whenever you heard his voice.

So to see him not wanting to spend any more time with you did unintentionally create a pit in your stomach.

“Going home already?” you ask, hesitant.

“Hm? Oh, no.” He laughs. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’m stuck with you all summer, remember?” Changmin makes sure to check that he has everything before walking towards the doorway. He suddenly freezes, turning around to look at you.

“Wait, you’re available right now, right?”

“Huh? What- right now? Yeah...why do you ask?”

“...Holy shit, did I forget to ask?”

Your forehead creases, completely puzzled. “What?”

“The date. Let’s go on it. Right now. I meant to ask if we could go before Hyunjae leaves, but I guess I forgot.”

“O-oh....Right now?”

He sighs and re-enters the playroom. “Yes, right now. I remember seeing a diner on the way back to your apartment, and I was thinking we could have it there before I drop you off. I could also use a burger.”

You’re heated and at a loss of words, unable to move from your spot.

Changmin finally sees the expression you’re wearing, the excitement from his face washing away. “Uhm, I-I didn’t get the wrong idea, did I?”

His words snap you out of your daze, pushing the chair back as you stand up. “Not at all! Sorry I just-...I’d love to go on that date with you. Right now.”

Changmin stops you from pulling the door to the diner open, leaning against it as he looks at you. “So, what do you want to know about me?”

Your disbelief is evident in the scoff you let out. “Seriously Changmin? We haven’t even entered the diner. The date doesn’t officially start until we’re sitting.”

Changmin exaggerates his frown, becoming all pouty. “You’re no fun.”

He pulls the door open and follows you inside, looking around at the interior. There were only two or three other people in the diner, all sitting alone while on their phones.

“Table for two,” you hum to a waitress, soon being led over to a booth in the corner.

Changmin sits across from you and the excitement is back on his face, leaning over the table while you pick up the menu. “So, what do you want to know about me?” he repeats.

“Impatient, aren’t you?” you laugh, skimming through the menu to see what you would like.

“I got it from Youngjae,” he gloats, flashing you a smile before picking up the menu himself. He already knows he wants a burger so it didn’t take long for him to choose which one, but it takes you a few more minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to eat.

After telling the waitress what you both wanted, you answer the question that he couldn’t stop asking.

“Well, for one, I want to learn about what you did before working at the daycare. Or is this your first job? Oh! I also want to know about what you need the money for and why you took the job.”

He cracks a smile at your rambling curiosity, slouching back into his seat with his gaze settling outside the window.

“You see, after graduating college, I applied for this elite dance academy. One of the best of the best. They accepted me in a heartbeat, but it turns out I didn’t have enough funds.” He tucks his hands into his pockets before turning his head back to look at you, deciding to maintain eye contact while explaining.

“So I worked many small jobs. Fast food, cashier, pizza delivery. Then last year, I finally found a decent paying job, and I was close to reaching my goal before it went out of business a month ago. Luckily, I saw your job offer and realized that the pay by the end of the summer is the amount I need left.”

He taps his foot against the ground, tilting his head as he looks at you. “So that means when summer ends, I’ll be off across the country, attending the dance academy I’ve always dreamed of going to.”

“Ah.” you nod, understanding. “So, dance is your passion?”

He clicks his tongue. “Bingo.”

“Okay okay, my turn.” Changmin then fixes his posture by sitting up straight, going back to leaning over the table with bright eyes gazing into yours. “What made you decide to open the daycare?”

Thrown off by the sudden closeness, you gulp, stuttering as you try to form your sentences. “Uhm, well, uh, I don’t know. I opened it a few years ago after uh- kind of running away from my parents. I always loved kids, so I figured a daycare would be perfect for the town we live in.”

A look of adoration takes over Changmin’s features. “You ran away from your parents?”

You sigh at the memory, nodding. “Yeah. I cut ties with them once I graduated high school and moved here after college.”

Changmin smiles lightly at your response, finally pulling away when he sees the waitress arriving. “I’m the same! Kind of. My parents never supported my passion for dancing, saying it was useless, so I left. Haven’t heard from them since.”

The crooked grin plastered on his face makes you laugh, shaking your head. “I guess we are similar in some aspects, huh?”

“Definitely.”

The waitress sets down the plates in front of the two of you, leaving after receiving your thanks. Changmin digs in instantly, having not eaten lunch yet once again due to feeding Haknyeon everything he packed.

“Do you like dancing?” he asks with a stuffed mouth.

You twirl your spaghetti with your fork, playing with it as you hum. “Never tried it.”

His jaw drops. “You’re lying,” he accuses, setting his burger down to pat his lips clean.

“God, I wish. I just never had a reason to.” You finally start to eat what was on your plate, ignoring the bewildered look Changmin has on his face.

“Let me change that.”

“Hm?”

“Let me give you a reason to dance. You see, Y/N, a life without dancing is like-...is like, uh- it’s like a life without kids!”

You gasp dramatically, dropping your fork onto your plate to bring your hand over your chest. “You did not just go there!”

“Indeed I did!” He huffs proudly, going back to eating his burger.

“How would you give me a reason to dance?”

Changmin leans back into the booth and thinks, eyes wandering around the ceiling. “Hm. That’s a good question.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, resuming to eat your spaghetti.

After five minutes of thinking, Changmin begins to whine. “I mean, aren’t I enough of a reason?”

“Not really,” you tease. “I mean, what? Are you going to pull me out into the middle of this diner just to get me to dance?”

“...I mean do you want me t-”

“No.”

“We could be living the life of the main couple in a movie, Y/N,” he sighs.

“Who says we’re not?” you retort, stabbing one of the meatballs on your plate with your fork.

Your words throw both you and Changmin off guard, becoming silent after hearing what you had just said.

“I did not mean to say that out loud,” you mumble, covering it up with a cough.

But a smile slowly grows onto Changmin’s lips, looking down at his burger as he can’t stop himself from feeling giddy inside.

July and August pass like a breeze. Because of this, it barely spares you a moment to even think about your developing feelings for your co-worker.

Your summer isn’t that eventful considering it was the same thing every day: go to the daycare at 5:30am, leave with Changmin at 6pm (or later if Mrs. Lee chooses to pick up Hyunjae later than usual), eat dinner with your favorite show playing at 7pm, and then sleep at 9pm.

Both you and Changmin have boring lives because of this set schedule, and there were no longer any talks about having a second date.

Maybe the first date was just platonic after all.

But you know your feelings for Changmin aren’t platonic whatsoever. The way he mimics Youngjae’s lisp as the preschooler learns to form words always manages to give you a boost of serotonin, and the way he protects Juyeon from the others whenever the five-year-old does something to piss Chanhee off has you melting.

In all honesty, with how Changmin was able to steal your heart in only two months, you would’ve already confessed.

But something held you back.

You can’t tell if it’s because Changmin would be leaving or if it’s because you don’t want to be left heartbroken.

It’s been years since you last fell in love (yes, in love) with someone, so it comes as no surprise when you finally realize that you’re head over heels for your co-teacher.

On Changmin’s last day in the daycare, you and the boys threw him a surprise farewell party after having it in the works for weeks, and thankfully it was one that completely caught Changmin off guard.

And if you remember correctly, he did cry a bit as well.

So now, after Changmin has wished all the boys goodbye, the only people remaining in the playroom are you, Changmin, and Hyunjae.

At least this time you received a call from Hyunjae’s mother, stating that she wouldn’t be able to pick him up until later in the evening.

Changmin was quick to insert a quip when you hang up, joking around by saying ‘that’s her gift to me for finally leaving, isn’t it?’.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer for Hyunjae.” Changmin slings his backpack over his shoulder after zipping it up.

“I understand. You need all the time to go pack.” You walk over to him with an envelope in your hand, passing it over to him. “As promised.”

He slowly brings it into his hands and takes out the final check he’s been waiting for, and he’s unsure if he wants to smile or frown. “Thanks,” he murmurs.

Changmin doesn’t move from his spot, continuing to stare at the paycheck while his fingers fiddle with the paper. You took the opportunity to head to the bulletin board, removing one of the paintings.

After a minute of silence, Changmin sighs and puts it back into the envelope, holding it in one of his hands.

And yet he’s still unable to move, but that’s mainly because Hyunjae has his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, unwilling to let the older male go.

“You’ll come back one day, right? To visit us?” he asks, looking up at him.

He leans down to give his head a pat, running his fingers through the boy’s hair afterwards. “Of course I will,” he whispers, smiling warmly.

“Promise?”

Changmin laughs and crouches down onto the ground, putting out his pinky. “I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you tease, returning with Hyunjae’s painting in your hands. You crouch down to join the other two just so you could poke at his shoulder.

“Who says I can’t keep promises?” Changmin cocks a brow at you.

“I was just testing you,” you coo, laughing when Changmin shakes his shoulder away from your finger.

“Once I graduate from the academy, I will come back to visit the daycare, and maybe I’ll get to see Hyunjae all grown up.” He brings his attention back to the five-year-old, noticing how Hyunjae has been tearing up. Changmin wiggles his pinky, urging Hyunjae to link it with his.

Hyunjae sniffs loudly and wipes away his tears with his sleeve before linking his pinky with Changmin’s. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more,” the teacher whispers, gently tugging on Hyunjae’s pinky to bring him closer. He presses a small kiss to Hyunjae’s forehead.

Changmin then looks over at you. “Link your pinky with ours to seal the promise.”

“Hey!” Hyunjae exclaims, making the both of you giggle.

Your dejected smile doesn’t go unmissed when you wrap your pinky around theirs.

Changmin gives Hyunjae one last, comforting hug before you’re walking him out the doors to the entrance.

As always, he pulls the glass doors open for you to walk out first, joining you shortly after.

Instead of walking to the parking lot, you two head for the bench that sits by the only active street in front of the daycare, watching the cars speed by while you sit there in silence.

The wind runs through his hair, and yet it still manages to look gorgeous as ever.

“You will come back one day, right?”

Changmin laughs at the question. “Are you really doubting my ability to keep a promise?” he looks over at you and cracks a wide smile. “Of course I will. For you, I will.”

You give him no response, and he clears his throat, going back to look at the cars. It takes a while for you to give him Hyunjae’s painting, falling right back into the silence as he stares at the paper in his hands.

A few minutes pass and you realize that you shouldn’t be leaving Hyunjae alone in the daycare for this long, so you stand up.

He shadows your action, standing up with you with both his paycheck and Hyunjae’s painting in one hand. Changmin doesn’t stop looking at you, like he was waiting for you to say something.

You knew it was now or never.

“...Changmin.”

“Yeah?” he asks.

And you chose never.

“Give me a call when you make it to the academy. Just so I know you made it there alright.”

If you were looking, you would be able to see the sparkle in his eyes vanish, his gaze no longer holding a glint of hope for what he wanted you to say.

You have your back facing Changmin, refusing to even spare him a glance. You never did too well with goodbyes; it’s the reason why you always run from people in your life or ignore the people that had to leave.

“Goodbye, Changmin,” you breathe out, and just like that, you��re gone.

The knock on your door grows increasingly louder each second, proving the person on the other side impatient.

Before stumbling out from under your blankets, you manage to capture a glimpse of the time on your alarm clock.

Who the fuck could be at your door at 2 in the morning?

It’s hard to keep your eyes open as you feel around for the lights, flicking them on before heading over to the front door.

You’re so tired that you forget to check who was outside your door, swinging it wide open just to get the knocking to stop.

And there stood Changmin dressed in his plaid pajamas, his chest heaving after running up the sets of stairs. His glasses look like they were put on at the last minute, and the mess on the top of his head is something you don’t even want to talk about.

Before you can even part your lips to speak, he raises a hand up to your face, shutting you up with just that one gesture.

He’s leaning against the doorframe, trying to catch his breath.

“T-that has, oh my god, that h-has got to be the most exercise I’ve done in months.”

“W-what are you doing here?” you stutter, having your eyes frantically scan him all over.

“Sleep, I-I coul-couldn’t sleep.”

“Changmin, do you want to come inside to rest? Is everything okay? Why- why the fuck are you at my apartment at 2am???”

“Wait just- give me a few seconds,” he wheezes, bent over with his hand on one of his knees. “Holy shit I’m so out of shape.”

You glare at him, judging eyes burning straight into his skull. You’re now completely wide awake with your heart beating against your chest, still in disbelief how your crush was standing in front of you.

“Fuck, okay okay, I-I’m better. Listen Y/N, I’ll just say everything here, in front of you, okay?”

“Say what?”

“Just listen.” He pauses to stand up straight, leaning against the doorframe as he fixes his glasses. “Y/N, I couldn’t sleep because it’s bothering me. I—I don’t know how else to say this, but fuck it’s been bothering me so much, and I just–god, I really need you to tell me.” He has his fingers wrapped around the doorframe, gripping it tightly as he continues to breathe heavily. His eyes are searching through yours for some sort of confirmation.

You remain completely oblivious to what he means, your eyebrows furrowed as you try to figure out what he wants from you. “You...need me...to tell...you? Tell you what??”

Changmin shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing it between his fingers as he speaks.

“Tell me...tell me I’m not the only one who wants something….Us. I want us, Y/N. I wanted us for these past two months, but I was so stupid to hold off on confessing because I was afraid it was too early. I keep thinking I’ll eventually move on from this stupid crush on you, but I can’t, and I don’t think I will until you tell me straight to my face that you don’t like me.”

You try to interrupt him, but he doesn’t allow you to do so.

“Two months, Y/N. I’ve been feeling this way for two months, and I don’t want to move on from these feelings. I don’t want to. I can’t, and I came here to see if you feel the same about me before it’s too late.”

He’s biting the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to respond, but when you’re left speechless, he continues.

“Just—just tell me whether you like me or not, and-” he gulps, frustratingly running a hand through his hair, “and if not, if I completely misunderstood the hints you’ve been giving me in the daycare, then I’ll be on my way back. I’ll go pack my suitcases and prepare to leave for tomorrow. I’ll leave, I’ll go to the academy, and come back to the daycare in the next few years. Ju-just like I promised, but Y/N, if you do like me, please, please just tell me because I don’t know how long I can go on without knowing how you feel, and it’s bugging the fuck out of me.”

“I- Changmin-”

“Y/N, please, I’m begging you. I need closure before I leave.”

When you stare into his eyes, the desperation is clear. You’re struggling to figure out if this confession is real or not; if this wasn’t just some stupid dream you’re having.

So without thinking, your fingers reach to tug at the collar of his flannel, pulling him in to smash your lips against his.

The impact and the actual touch of his lips causes your eyes to shoot wide open, realizing what you’ve done. You push him away in an instant, gaping at him. “Fuck, holy fuck, this is real. You’re real.”

He stares at you in disbelief after stumbling backwards, blinking multiple times.

“...I didn’t run up seven flights of stairs just for you to say I’m real.”

“Holy shit, you’re real!” you exclaim. Your hand reaches for the door, slamming it shut with your back pressed up against it.

Now you’re the one left breathless, frantically looking everywhere as you try to process what the hell just happened.

It takes Changmin banging his fist on your door for you to finally open it up again, and you’re not even given time to think when he pulls you in by cupping your cheeks, pressing his lips against yours.

“I’m real,” he whispers once he pulls away, grazing his thumb over your skin.

You mirror the smile that formed on his lips, moving to wrap your arms around his waist to pull him in closer. “Are you sure?”

“...Do you need confirmation again?”

When you nod with the brightest look on your face, he doesn’t hesitate to bring you back in for the third kiss of the night.

“Good afternoon, darling.”

You roll your eyes at your co-teacher’s greeting after entering through the glass doors, setting your bag down onto the front desk.

“One night, Changmin. We’ve only known about how we felt for each other for one night, and you’re alr- wait. How the fuck did you beat me to the daycare?”

You shoot your gaze over to the open door leading to the playroom, entering the room to find Changmin standing on one of the round tables with something in his arms.

“I came here at 6am, actually. Forgot that the daycare opens later now because the kids have school, so instead of going back home, I went to go buy a projector!” He turns to face you and stretches his arms out towards your way, presenting it to you. “Look!”

“You sound exactly like Youngjae whenever he wants to show off his toy train,” you chuckle, standing right next to the table he was on with your hands on your hips.

“Oh shut up. Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing with a projector? Or why am I standing on a table?” He becomes pouty due to your lack of curiosity, hugging the projector close to his chest.

Unfortunately for him, you just find him incredibly adorable. “Okay okay, fine. Changmin, why are you standing on the table with a projector?”

“Great question! I’m trying to mount it up onto the ceiling.” He brings his gaze up to the ceiling, pointing up at it. “I already got the wires taped up and the base screwed in, see? I just need to hook this thing up to that thing, and yeah—yeah it should work.” He gives the projector a gentle pat before looking back at you.

Skeptical, you narrow your eyes at him. “...Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Nope!” he strangely replies enthusiastically. “But I’m sure the guys on YouTube know what they’re doing. YouTube is very helpful, you know.”

“Yes, I’ve heard….Are you sure that thing is sturdy? What if it falls onto one of the kids?”

“Easy. Just don’t put the kids under the projector.” Changmin tries to bring the projector onto the hook he’s connected to the ceiling, struggling to make it line up with the screen he hung up.

“Okay, fine. What if it falls on me?”

“...Don’t stand under the projector.”

You continue to pester him with questions as he adjusts the position of the box.

“Okay, but what if the projector flies across the room and then hits my head?”

Changmin bites the inside of his cheek, slowly removing his hands from the box before smiling proudly at himself. “Flies? I don’t think that’s possible, Y/N.” He turns to look down at you. “But if it ever does happen, I’ll kiss your head better.”

“...I kind of miss the old Changmin.”

He hums, taking the wires into his fingers as he tries to connect them to the projector. “No you don’t.”

You move to sit on the table Changmin was standing on, continuing to look up at him with a smile creeping onto your face. You couldn’t even get mad at him for the way he’s behaving; not when he’s here with you and not at the dance academy.

However, he notices this, and being the petty person he is, he nudges your butt off the surface of the table with his foot. “Y/N, off,” he mimics, reminding you of his first day here.

“We’re not in front of the kids,” you reason, watching him get him off the table.

He stares up at the projector to see if it would fall before looking at you. “Oh, so we’re going to play that game now?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

To Changmin, the question was taunting, so he doesn’t hesitate to peck your lips, catching you off guard.

“What was that for?” you ask, blinking when he rests his hands on your thighs.

“Just taking my chances while we’re not in front of the kids.”

“Gross,” Sunwoo deadpans, making your head turn towards the direction of the voice. Both he and Youngjae are standing in the doorway, staring at what you two have just done while holding onto their backpacks.

“Cootie alert,” Youngjae yawns, and the two make their way over to their designated baskets, tossing their backpacks into them before sluggishly waddling over to the bean bags.

You turn to look back at Changmin with wide eyes, and his expression mirrors yours.

“Do you- do you think they noticed?”

“Noticed the fact you’re back or the fact we kissed?”

Changmin huffs at your response before facing the two kids, noticing how they’re already knocked out with Youngjae’s snore filling the playroom.

“School tires them out,” you explain, removing yourself from the table to join the two, crouching down in front of them.

Changmin goes over to your side and sits down on the ground, poking Sunwoo’s cheek. “Hey buddy, no hello for Teacher Changmin?”

Sunwoo peeks an eye open and shuts it right after, shifting in his spot to face the other direction. “Later, ‘m tired.”

After a minute or two, Youngjae shoots up in his spot, wide eyes searching for said teacher. “Teacher Changmin?!?”

The laugh that escapes you warms Changmin’s heart instantly, unable to remove his eyes from you while Youngjae runs over to him, repeatedly poking his dimple.

“You’re here?? What are you doing here?”

By now, Sunwoo has also jerked awake, finally able to connect two and two. He excitedly wraps his arms around Changmin’s neck, almost choking him when he tightens his grip.

You watch as Changmin plays with the two boys after settling in Youngjae’s spot on the bean bag, unable to prevent the smile from forming on your lips.

“How was school?” Changmin asks, holding onto Sunwoo’s arms when the four-year-old starts jumping up and down.

“Terrible!”

“I like my teacher.” Youngjae smiles.

The difference between the two voiced opinions makes Changmin laugh, pulling both of them into his grasp. He then starts to attack them with tickles, calling it revenge for not being spared a single glance earlier.

Slowly, the other boys start to file into the playroom after being dropped off by their respective buses, many sharing gasps and screams at the sight of the returned teacher.

Hyunjae is the one who arrives last, kicking at the ground when he makes his way inside the daycare.

He stops when he sees Changmin, and the happiness that explodes within him is indescribable. He’s left speechless at the sight of his favorite person, and his backpack falls onto the ground when he stands frozen by the door. Hyunjae’s wide eyes are glued onto Changmin’s every movement, mouth falling agape.

The six-year-old rubs his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, but surely enough Changmin is actually standing right in front of him, waving.

“I cried over you yesterday!” he accuses, pointing his finger at the teacher.

But Hyunjae doesn’t hesitate to run over to him when Changmin crouches down onto the ground with open arms.

“I thought you were going to come back when I’m all grown up,” he whispers, burying his face into the crook of Changmin’s neck.

“I mean it’s your first day of first grade, isn’t it? I’d say you’re all grown up.” Changmin holds the boy close in his embrace, and Hyunjae pulls away, bringing the teacher’s cheeks between his hands.

“It was scary,” he whispers, squishing his cheeks.

“Well I’m here now, so you can tell me everything that happens in class.”

You’re pettily watching everything unfold from your seat on the bean bag, cuddling a tired Youngjae to sleep while the other boys are scattered throughout the playroom.

“Where was this energy when I was sick for two weeks?” you mumble.

“I missed you when you were sick,” Youngjae mumbles, unintentionally slapping your chest with his hand due to being half asleep.

“Bye Teacher Changmin!!”

Changmin waves Hyungseo and his parents goodbye and returns to the playroom.

You have already begun cleaning up, and Hyunjae has his nose buried in the book you bought him, silence overtaking the room.

He walks over to you and sees that you’re dusting the cabinets, wanting to see if he could be of any use.

“There’s not much to clean today since we barely did anything.”

Changmin agrees, bobbing his head up and down. He chooses to lean against the counter, watching your every move.

This causes you to start a conversation, asking a question that Changmin hasn’t answered.

“You never explained why you bought a projector earlier.”

He tilts his head tenderly towards you, beaming at the topic you brought up. “Right! Remember when I said I’ll give you a reason to dance?”

You nod, slowing your movements just so you could spend more time listening to Changmin speak.

“I thought it would be a nice idea if every Sunday, we could have the kids do karaoke! I’m sure they’ll enjoy it. Right, Hyunjae?” He turns to look at the boy, but Hyunjae is so immersed in the plot of his book that he’s unintentionally blocking out the conversation you’re having with Changmin.

Changmin’s face falls. “He likes that book too much,” he mutters.

“It was one of my favorites as a kid,” you explain. “It’s a bit more advanced for a six-year-old, but his reading comprehension is pretty up there. Not to mention he’s mature enough to understand the topic it’s about.” You stop what you’re doing to bring the duster over to Changmin’s face, tickling the tip of his nose with it. “You should read it out loud to him one day.”

You laugh when Changmin gags, pushing the duster away from his face. “That’s disgusting, Y/N!”

“Anyway, we went off topic. So basically you’re saying you planned karaoke every Sunday without me? When this is my daycare?”

“Basically, yeah.”

You set the duster aside and fake a pout. “I’m feeling very betrayed right now, Changmin.”

“Hey, it’s a great idea! You would’ve accepted it anyway. I bought the microphones and speakers online, and I’m waiting for them to arrive.”

“...Where the hell did you get the money?”

He looks elsewhere, shifting his weight between his feet when he blows a raspberry. “The paycheck…”

You look at him concerned, your voice falling softer as you speak. “You’re really not going to the dance academy, huh?”

“...Not anymore, no.” His gaze falls to the ground, acting like a kid that’s afraid to admit wrongdoing. “I have no reason to attend when I want to share a future here….with you. Cheesy, isn’t it?”

His words bring a shy smile to your face. “Pretty much, yeah. Also, since when did you become so lovey dovey? We’re not even officially together.” You lean along the counter with him, wishing he would look up so your eyes could gaze into his.

“It’s hard to resist saying stuff like that around you,” he admits, scratching his nape. He looks up to find the cabinets still open. “Are you done dusting?”

“Oh! No, not yet.” You take the duster back into your hands and pick up where you left off, a blush forming on your cheeks when you feel Changmin’s eyes on you.

“So....how is karaoke going to give me a reason to dance?”

“Simple. We’ll give the kids the microphones and have them sing while we dance.”

You glance over at him. “You’re crazy.”

“What??” He stands up straight, getting defensive. “How? It’s a wonderful idea, if you ask me. They’ll be too busy singing to even notice us dancing.”

“Yeah, and my ears will be too busy bleeding.”

“Y/N!!” He looks over at Hyunjae to see if he’s heard anything.

“Listen, have you ever heard kids sing? Specifically, have you ever heard Youngjae sing??” You shove the duster into the cabinet before closing it shut.

“In fact, yes I have,” Changmin bluffs, tilting his chin upwards.

“It’s horrendous.”

“It is not!” Changmin defends. “He’s only four!”

You roll your eyes playfully at him, walking over to join Hyunjae by the bean bags. “And I’m only being honest.”

Changmin scoffs, crossing his arms as he follows you. “You don’t deserve Youngjae and his toy train.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Hyunjae asks, making a mental note of the page in his book before closing it.

Changmin sighs and plops down next to Hyunjae. “Teacher Y/N is being very disrespectful towards Youngjae’s ability to sing.”

“...But Youngjae can’t sing.”

“See!” You sit across the two, bringing your knees up to your chest. “I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

Shifting the topic, Changmin’s eyes dart down to the book in Hyunjae’s hands. “What page are you on?”

“I finished the book already,” Hyunjae says nonchalantly. He gives it to Changmin while you’re looking at the kid with wide eyes.

“Already??”

He nods. “The boy in the story, he….he dies, right?”

“That’s pretty much what’s implied, yeah,” you confirm. You lean over to ruffle up the boy’s hair. “I knew you’d catch on!”

“Great, you just spoiled it for me,” Changmin frowns, mainly messing around.

Due to his playful tone, Hyunjae slaps his arm, resting his head against it afterwards.

Changmin pouts and sets the book aside, wrapping an arm around the boy. “Are you tired?”

Hyunjae nods.

So Changmin brings Hyunjae into his lap, allowing the small boy to curl up in his embrace. “I’ll sleep with you,” he comforts, caressing one of his cheeks.

Changmin sends you a warm smile, and you give Hyunjae a small kiss on the head before standing up, leaving the two to fall asleep together.

“Can you believe today’s the last day of school for the boys? Time goes by fast, doesn’t it?” Changmin swings your intertwined hands as you walk down the sidewalk together.

“It does. Excited to have Hyunjae being the first kid at six am again?”

“Kinda. I’m really going to miss sleeping in and hearing stories about how Juyeon accidentally spilled paint on a girl.” He laughs, shaking his head. “Not only that, but the microphones haven’t arrived yet!! It’s been nine months since I’ve ordered them. Nine months!”

You cough loudly, immediately changing the topic. “Yeah, uhm, honestly? Nine months, and I still can’t believe–this–is a thing.” You gesture to your hand being held by Changmin’s, waving your finger.

“Hm? What? The hand holding?” He raises your hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss onto your knuckles.

“I meant us, silly. I’m surprised none of the kids noticed a change in our relationship yet.”

“I mean there is a possibility that they’ve always seen us as a couple since the beginning. We do make a great one, if I do say so myself.” Changmin shrugs his shoulders, adjusting the glasses he was wearing.

You look over at him. “Are you considering us a couple?”

“...Are we not?”

“I mean not officially, no.”

He exhales loudly. “Nine months, and we aren’t even official.”

“I mean us being official won’t really change much.”

“Hey! Yes it will. I’d be able to show you off.”

“To who? Sunwoo and Youngjae? They’ve seen us kiss, stupid.”

“I have friends!” he retaliates. “Albeit friends I haven’t talked to in years, but friends nonetheless.”

You giggle, reaching over to pinch his cheek once you both stand outside the entrance of the bowling alley.

He pushes your hand away and grabs the handle of the door. “Ready to go bowling with your favorite person?”

“Oh you wish. Hyunjae still takes the crown as my favorite person.”

He pulls the door open with a huff, knowing he can’t beat Hyunjae in any aspect.

You both walk in, impressed by the neon lights illuminating off the glossy floors. The loud music is blaring through your ears, but it’s easily overridden by Changmin’s voice.

“There’s a roller skating rink here too,” he whispers, pointing over to it. You can easily tell by the pout on his face that he wants to go roller skating, so you choose to remind him why you two are here in the first place by turning him away from the sight.

“Another time,” you reassure.

You walk him over to the counter and give the worker both of your shoe sizes, clutching onto Changmin’s arm as you wait for your bowling shoes to be handed over. “It’s a nice place, isn’t it?”

“Definitely. Have you been here before?” He looks at you, bringing a finger up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. The tiny gesture doesn’t fail to bring a smile to your face, making you hum in response.

“Only once. Sangyeon had a birthday party here when he was four, and I was invited.”

Changmin thanks the worker once they have returned and collects the bowling shoes given, handing you your pair before leading you over to an empty alley.

“We should take the boys out for bowling one day. All of them. That’s possible, right?”

“This is supposed to be our date, Changmin, not you wanting the rest of the boys here,” you jest. “We already see them on a daily basis.”

“I’m just saying! Imagine if Haknyeon was here with us.” He sits down on the bench and starts removing his shoes. “He’ll honestly beat both of our asses. His precision is incredible.”

“That’s because he’s a five-year-old, and five-year-olds use the bowling ramp.” You copy Changmn’s actions after playfully punching his shoulder, taking your time with putting the bowling shoes on.

He rubs his shoulder and looks at you with a pout, dismissing your words with the roll of his eyes. Changmin then begins to input both of your names into the screen while you search for two bowling balls, choosing a purple one for him.

You come back with the two balls in your arms, and he looks at you worriedly, quick to grab the purple one from you.

“They weren’t heavy,” you pout, hating how Changmin underestimated your strength.

“You looked like you were going to drop them on your toe. I put my name first, by the way. I hope that’s okay.” But he doesn't allow you to respond, already walking up to the alley to begin.

“Oh it’s on, Ji Changmin,” you mutter, taking your seat on the bench.

Out of the past year with Changmin, you’ve never once seen each other’s competitive side during your dates. Sure, there have been times when you two fought over who was the more liked teacher in the daycare, but it was mainly you two joking around and having fun.

Today proves differently, especially when you two are constantly neck in neck with each frame that passes.

Your desperation to beat Changmin is what makes you mess up on the ninth frame, knocking down seven pins instead of eight and it causes you to become tied with Changmin.

“May the best player win,” he yawns, sliding his fingers through the holes of the bowling ball.

The way he intensely stares at the pins doesn’t intimidate you in the slightest, a smirk cockily resting on your lips. You know he is going to mess up the last frame, he has to, so you’re not too worried.

But when he doesn’t and gets two perfect strikes in a row, you know you’re completely fucked.

He zooms over to you and bends down to shove his face in front of yours, gloating. “I won!!”

You shove his face away with your hand, standing up with a huff. “You don’t know that.”

“C’mon Y/N, there’s no way you’re going to get two strikes!”

And to your dismay, he’s right.

When you see your ball shift to the right, you know you're completely done for.

Changmin runs up to hug you from behind while you’re moping over your loss, pressing your back up against his chest.

“See? I know you too well,” he coos, planting a kiss on your neck.

You whine, pushing away from his grip to make your way back over to your shoes. “You’re treating me with ice cream after this.”

“I was the one who won! That’s unfair,” he grumbles. He runs to catch up with you, beating you to the bench.

His smile returns, and his eyes are bright when he looks at you. “Want to know my secret to winning?”

“What?” you groan, plopping yourself down next to him. You rest your head on his shoulder as you wait for him to pull out something from his pocket.

Between his fingers is a folded piece of paper, and when he unravels it, you see that it’s Hyunjae’s painting of you three.

He gazes into your eyes while he shows it to you, whispering.

“It’s my lucky charm.”

“Are you sure it’s hidden?” Hyunjae questions, a frown forming on his face when he comes back after searching the shelves.

“I’m positive, Hyunjae. Help me keep looking. There’s no way the microphones aren’t here.” Changmin is searching high and low when it comes to your desk, opening every single drawer.

He groans and goes back to searching, wanting to be of some use for Changmin.

“I’m telling you, I don’t have them!” you shout, putting legos together on the ground with Haknyeon in your lap.

“Liar,” Changmin mutters to himself. He takes one more check around your desk before moving to the sinks.

Sunwoo is tailing the teacher around, mirroring Changmin’s exact movements.

“They’re not hereeee,” Hyunjae informs, referring to the bookshelves.

You laugh, shaking your head as you grab a handful of legos to dump onto the rug in front of Haknyeon.

Changmin pulls open one of the cabinets under the sink, and that’s when he finds a box (and it’s one he doesn’t recognize). He pulls it out and brings it onto a nearby table. He takes the lid off, and lo and behold are the missing microphones presented before him.

“I knew it!” he shouts. “I fucking knew it!”

“He fucking knew it!”

“...Go away, Sunwoo.”

The new five-year-old runs away and over to Chanhee and Younghoon, joining them with their puzzle.

“Y/N!! Hyunjae!!”

You mutter a ‘shit’ and remove Haknyeon from your lap, taking your time before finally making your way over to Changmin.

Hyunjae trudges his way over to the teacher. “Do I still get my five bucks?”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He takes out his wallet and takes out five one dollar bills, handing them to the boy before turning his attention over to you.

“You’re paying him?”

“Oh don’t try changing the subject. What is this?” He picks up the box, showing you what’s inside.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” you sing-song, whistling as you look around the room.

He stares at you in disbelief. “You-...How long have you kept this here?” He kicks the cabinet door shut, referring to it.

“For like eight months,” you snort. You lean against the counter, nibbling on your lower lip to prevent a snicker from escaping you.

But it’s hard when Changmin is being brought into despair. “For the past eight months we could’ve been listening to Youngjae’s angelic singing,” he whines, setting the box back down onto the table with a thud. “Eight months, Y/N!”

“It’s not my fault you couldn’t find them.”

He exaggerates a groan, slamming the lid back onto the top of the box. “I didn’t even know they were here to begin with!”

“I know,” you giggle, bringing a hand over your lips. “Honestly? I’m not even mad you’ve found them.”

Your collected composure and failed attempt to hold back your laughter makes Changmin fall against you, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “I can’t believe you’ve had them all this time,” he whispers, allowing his eyes to fall shut.

“I know I know.” You pat his back, resting your head against his. “I’m quite the secret keeper, aren’t I?”

“He fucking knew it!”

Changmin picks his head up from your shoulder to glare at Sunwoo, watching the boy run away from the two of you and back over to the puzzle duo.

“If his parents start asking us why Sunwoo won’t stop saying ‘he fucking knew it’, you’re taking all the blame,” Changmin grumbles, going back to keeping his head on your shoulder.

“I wasn’t the one who swore!”

“Personally, I think this is the greatest decision I’ve ever made.”

You look at him dubiously, swinging your connected hands as you make your way down the sidewalk with the ten boys skipping in front of you.

“Wouldn’t that be the Karaoke Sundays idea?” you ask.

“...Okay, second greatest decision.”

You roll your eyes and let out a sarcastic ‘mhm’ as a response.

“What??” he looks at you whilst feigning offense, trying to read whatever is on your mind by staring straight into your eyes.

“How do you know this is your second greatest decision yet? I mean, we aren’t even at the park yet.”

Changmin points at the boys in front of you, raising his voice. “Look at them!! They’re already having so much fun. Not to mention how the day is gorgeous! the sun is gorgeous, the weather is gorgeous, you’re gorgeous-” He covers up his last few words with a forced cough but doesn’t hesitate to peek at your reaction.

“Didn’t know I signed up to be with a flirt,” you sigh.

Before Changmin is given a chance to respond, you hear Sunwoo screaming.

“We’re here!!” he calls out, and he’s the first one to run out into the open field.

All the boys follow after him, starting an intense game of tag while you’re figuring out a spot to sit with Changmin.

He runs over to a tree and places himself under the shade, urging you to come over.

And you do so only to realize how far you two were from the boys, concern growing within you. “How are we going to watch over ten boys?” you murmur, resting your head on Changmin’s shoulder with your hand still in his.

“You’re going to be watching them, not me.”

His nonchalant response throws you completely off guard, quick to pick your head up to stare at him. “What? You’re not leaving me, are you?”

Changmin doesn’t miss the way your grip around his hand tightens, and he clears his throat, distracting himself from the gaze that’ll only make him fall again for you once more.

Then again, he’d fall for you a thousand times, and he still wouldn’t mind.

“I’m not going to leave, dummy,” he says, flicking your temple.

“Then why would I be the only one watching them?” You rub your temple, pouting at him.

Changmin releases your hand from his grasp and chooses to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you close against him as he stares at you. “Because I’ll be too busy watching you.”

You gasp loudly and shove him away from you, crossing your arms while he’s laughing his ass off.

Eventually he notices how you turn your back towards him and starts attempting to receive your attention, resting his chin on your shoulder while looking at you.

“I’m sowwy,” he whines, and when you don’t respond to his antics, he makes an impulsive decision to litter kisses all over your face after making you look at him.

“You guys are gross.”

“Hello to you too, Hyunjae,” Changmin greets, removing himself from you in order to wave the boy over.

The boy seats himself between the two of you, bringing his arms around his knees while pressing his back up against the trunk of the tree. Without saying anything, Hyunjae scoots over to lean against your side, and you immediately bring him into your arms.

“You okay, little man?” Changmin asks, looking down at him.

“No. Sunwoo tripped me.”

While Changmin’s laughing, you avert your attention over to the group of boys still playing their game of tag. Juyeon’s currently made the tagger ever since he fell face first into the grass but hasn’t moved a single inch. It’s the reason why Hyungseo and Sangyeon start poking his sides with their toes, evoking a reaction out of the boy.

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” you mumble.

Changmin calms himself down and moves to rest his chin over Hyunjae’s head, his eyes meeting yours. “Is now the time to say I suggested this idea just to spend time with you?” he whispers.

“Again, ew.”

Changmin removes his chin from Hyunjae’s head to gently slap a hand over the boy’s mouth, momentarily shutting him up.

Unfortunately for the teacher, Hyunjae is quick to lick his hand, bringing the two into a playful yet physical fight.

Changmin wins by capturing Hyunjae within his arms, falling onto the ground. He looks over at you, prepared to boast about his win, when he sees you watching the other kids instead.

Regardless, the bright smile on his face doesn’t falter, and he almost forgets Hyunjae is in his arms until he bit him.

“Okay, now that was uncalled for,” Changmin whines, rubbing at the teeth marks imprinted into his skin.

“You were choking me,” Hyunjae huffs, going back over to your side.

“You could’ve told me!”

“I did!”

“Okay shut up, you two. I’m tired.”

The two heads turn to look at you with worried expressions, noticing how you’re struggling to keep your eyes open.

“Want to lie down?” Changmin asks, scooting over to sit next to you. When you nod, he allows you to have your head in his lap, telling you to close your eyes.

He runs his fingers through your hair, playing with it as Hyunjae moves to hug one of his arms. The boy begins to ramble about the shapes of the clouds in the sky, and Changmin listens to every word with a smile on his face, agreeing with every single thing Hyunjae’s mentioned.

Because of his mini ramble about clouds, the sounds from the other boys start to drown out, and minutes later they’re joining you three.

Sangyeon was the first one who got tired of the game of tag after being considered ‘it’ more than five times, inserting himself into the conversation about clouds by sitting next to Hyunjae.

All the boys are wiped out after constantly running and screaming, so none of them seem to question Changmin’s ever so loving gaze towards you. Either they don’t notice or don’t care enough to comment on the way he’s unable to stop looking at you, but it wasn’t like it mattered anyway.

Even if everyone in the world pointed it out, he still wouldn’t take his eyes off of you.

A year of Karaoke Sundays never gave you a reason to dance with him.

Changmin couldn’t tell if it was Youngjae’s so-called ‘horrendous’ singing with Sunwoo hyping him up or Joonyoung huddling into the far corner of the playroom due to his fear of loud noises.

You were always there to comfort the poor boy by pressing his ears up against your chest while Changmin occupied the others, hand in hand with Juyeon as they all sang their hearts out into the crappy microphones Changmin had bought. Chanhee and Hyungseo definitely dominated every Sunday with their vocals, and eventually Joonyoung grew comfortable enough to sing with the two.

But even with Joonyoung gone as an excuse, you still remained by the bean bags, watching all of them have fun with a goofy smile adorning your face.

Occasionally Changmin would visit you and bring you up onto your feet, urging you to dance. He once even tried swooning you over by having Romantic Sunday playing in the background, whispering the lyrics into your ear while he tried to get you to sway with him.

Obviously, it didn’t work.

It wasn’t like you didn’t want to; you were just too embarrassed to do so.

You’re afraid you’ll pull a Juyeon and trip over your very own feet, so you refrain from moving a limb, only choosing to lean against Changmin’s touch when he brings you into his arms.

Because of this, he would never force you into joining him, even if it was just the two of you.

He would ask only once if you’d like to join him in a small dance, and when you give him the shake of your head, he’ll opt to pull you in for an intoxicating kiss, having your lips dance against his instead.

Hyunjae was always the main witness of the kisses you two shared, visibly cringing by scrunching up the features of his face, but deep down inside he’s happy for the two of you.

How could he not when he has wanted you both together since the very first day? It’s the dream of any kid to have their two favorite people together.

Not to mention Karaoke Sundays isn’t the only new idea that has been introduced the past year; you and Changmin have gotten so used to having Hyunjae around that the three of you would leave the daycare and hang out elsewhere, creating new memories.

Shopping, eating, exploring: the three of you did it all (without the consent of Hyunjae’s mother).

It was kind of like sneaking out, and the three of you would never stray too far from the daycare in case Mrs. Lee comes back early. If she ever called to ask where her son was, you would tell her that you three were on a walk and would come back immediately.

The fun little dates you all shared are the only reason why Changmin has given up on pestering you about talking to Mrs. Lee and her habit of picking up her son later than the designated time.

He taught both you and Hyunjae how to roller skate only for the young boy to skate faster than the teacher, leaving both you and Changmin confused about how Hyunjae managed to learn so quickly.

While your favorite place with Changmin and Hyunjae was the ferris wheel, Changmin’s personal favorite was the field of flowers hidden a mile or two behind the daycare.

You never saw the beauty in flowers after taking care of children for nearly four years, but that completely changed when you watched how Hyunjae and Changmin ran through them. Their sparks of happiness would always change into pure fear whenever catching sight of a bee, running far from you to the point where Hyunjae would start crying at the lack of your presence.

Changmin even got stung once, but he showed no sense of pain when taken back to the daycare, constantly making flirty remarks while you aided him.

Moments like these have always made Changmin think (something you would say he rarely did).

Silly as it is, these dates never prompted Changmin to ask you out. It wasn’t like either of you cared, but it would be nice to put a title on the relationship you both shared.

But rather than wanting to ask you out, the idea of proposing came to his mind.

Two years of being head over heels for you led him to meet every single side of you. You were great with kids, obviously, and he’s been there when you’ve brokedown or lashed out. You were real just like any other human being, and there was no doubt in his mind that he would love to be with you for forever.

He’s definitely joked about marrying you in the past, but he knew it was time.

It was time to finally give you a reason to dance.

NAVIGATION | TBZ MASTERLIST | PART TWO

#RAAAAHHHHHHHHHH #itsbeeble #itsbeeble fic recs #the boyz #the boyz imagines #the boyz angst #the boyz fluff #ji changmin #ji changmin imagines

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sungbeam · 5 months ago

Text

𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞

demon!ji changmin x reader (no pronouns used, but original fic was f!reader)

love. — what is love if not your steady heartbeat in his ear when he thinks you should be afraid?

4.7k words, established relationship, demon/supernatural creatures au, mild angst, very minor humor, bit of fluff?, mentions of blood, so much intimacy (skinship, cheek/stomach kisses), mentions of insecurities, swearing, use of pet names (love, sweetheart)

read night terrors / peruse the collection post

a/n: this lowkey just became a character study of demon changmin

THERE WEREN'T MANY INSTANCES where you were afraid for Changmin, nor were there many instances where you were afraid of him. You suspected that he strived to avoid either of said instances, especially regarding the latter. After all the two of you had experienced with one another, it seemed important to him that you could trust him and were not scared.

It was difficult for him to fully accept that he did not frighten you in some way. Part of that reason, you guessed, was simply his awareness of how others viewed his species.

What was he but a mortal's night terror, a creature of evil?

To him, you should have been sleeping with a stake beneath your pillow—or rather, you shouldn't have had enough trust to sleep next to him at all.

But several months under your relationship's belt was beginning to ease his concerns. The long drives up and down the state, chasing his strange assignments for work, had slowly become something he could look forward to. Sunshine or rain battering the windows, he would glance away from the dense fog outside to see you holding on desperately to the waking world, or feel your fingers curl around his hand when sleep stole you away.

Most of the time, it wasn't too dangerous and you didn't mind tagging along with him. You'd grown used to the nomad lifestyle, seemingly content with spending a couple weeks in Moonstone Creek from time to time, and the rest of it with him.

You loved him; you always made that clear. The ring on your right ring finger was proof that he knew that and reciprocated.

There were always, however, doubts. Changmin always had doubts.

“—And I'll get that blueberry muffin creamer you liked yesterday, too.”

Changmin broke out of the bubble he'd trapped himself in at the sensation of your lips against his cheek. This mortal body he had flushed at the feeling, his hand swift to stop you from leaving just yet, like an instinct.

He wrapped an arm around your waist, and his face was level with your stomach from the chair he sat in. The hotels you usually stayed at on your routes always came with a desk and chair, so you could work on Moonstone Creek's finances or he could research. He pressed a kiss to your clothed stomach, his hand squeezing your waist affectionately. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Your smiling eyes met his and you combed your hand through his hair once, twice. “I'll be back soon. You just keep your head in those books.”

He grumbled something against your stomach—‘I thought college was the last time I'd be pouring over texts’—and your laugh twinkled over his head. He hadn't even been paying attention to the texts he brought; really, his head was elsewhere today.

“That's your fault for being an anthropology major and for literally chasing down ancient artifacts as your main source of income.”

“That was so unhelpful.”

Another comb through his hair. He could melt. “Just being honest,” you sang amusedly. “Okay, but I should get a move on. All their pastries are gonna be gone, and their danishes smelled really good yesterday.”

He hummed. “Stay safe.” Another kiss.

Your hand settled at the nape of his neck. “I will. Love you.”

The words warmed in his chest. Just as you were pulling away, his grip tightened for a moment. “You have Clyde?” He couldn't let anything happen to you.

“Yes—” you patted your jacket pocket, “—Clyde’s where he's always been. And Bonnie?”

“You know she's not moving,” he said, cocking a brow at you.

You bit your lip through a small laugh and slowly moved toward the hotel room door, shoving your wallet and the room key into your pockets. “Okay. Happy reading then, love.”

“Unhappy reading,” he groaned into his hand, which was followed by your laugh and the door closing behind you. The corners of his lips lifted into a smile.

He counted a few seconds in case you had forgotten something, then went over to grab his phone from the nightstand. Settling on the edge of the bed, he pulled up the text thread he had between himself and Sangyeon.

sangyeon: okay so don't freak out [sent an image]

sangyeon: but i found this lying around my house the other day, and i asked lily abt it and she said yn was on the fence abt showing u

Changmin could recognize your handwriting against Lily's in the picture. The image was a clear scan of a piece of paper, who's centerpiece was that of a house. It was a roughly drawn blueprint of a cottage, something small, cozy, homely. The house, as you outlined, wasn't large at all, but with one full floor, an attic, and a porch. There were notes all around the house in your familiar scrawl, writing about the projected cost of each thing—typical of you to think about practicality, even in your fantasy house blueprint—as well as features you'd like installed, like a fireplace and a porch swing.

It reminded him so much of Sena's house in the suburbs in a way… had you thought about this while you were there? A place you could call home, some place to settle down eventually, and finally have a slice of normalcy?

sangyeon: lily said she coaxed it out of yn, which is why yn didn't want to share it and make it seem like she was forcing u into anything u weren't comfortable w

sangyeon: but i think that u love her enough to hear her out

sangyeon: idk… it's ur call ofc whether or not u want to have that conversation yet

Changmin always had doubts. He'd learned during his time on the mortal plane to slow down and feel the weight of another's emotions, and what inevitably came with empathy was insecurity.

You loved him; that was why his ring was on your finger and you would never bring up the cottage you confided to Lily about. You loved him, and knew that there was an unmistakable itch in him that could only be scratched when he was able to move, to not be chained to one place. But humans were different from demons, and your experiences were different from his.

He always had doubts that you might never be fully content with this life he led.

He sighed, massaging his jaw absentmindedly with one hand. Sangyeon had sent him those messages two days ago when you and he were driving to this sleepy town, tucked away at the foot of a mountain range. You'd been asleep when they were received, which was why you didn't see the notifications. Changmin could do as little then as he could now, and he basically replied to Sangyeon that he would think about it and talk to you.

At some point.

That was before he realized that it would be all he could think about. There was no word for 'selfish’ or 'selfless’ in demonic culture. It was either you did something to help yourself or harm yourself—usually, those who didn't act for their own benefit were thought of as weaker willed. It was difficult to dismantle methods of thinking like this in order to view the world and his interactions in a different way.

Changmin abandoned his phone on the nightstand so that he could step over to the window and shove it open. The lever was rusty and squealed as he cranked it counterclockwise to let in the fresh pine morning and the natural white noise.

Maybe this would help him focus on work or gain the courage to talk to you when you came back.

Changmin barely glanced up in time to see a blurry mass hurtling toward his face. “Shit.”

He dropped to the floor.

A gleeful and tinny laugh like the rattle inside an aluminum can filled the room. The spike of shock in his heart was replaced very quickly with red, hot annoyance.

“You have got to be kidding me,” he grunted, clambering to his feet, eyes narrowed on the pixie who had invaded his space. “Don't you fuckers ever knock?”

The pixie was only about a foot and a half tall, its translucent, membranous wings fluttering at the speed of a human eye's blink. This one in particular had a pair of orbs as dark as the lowest circles of Hell for eyes and two racks of jagged teeth lining its gums. The pixie buzzed around the room, careful to remain out of Changmin's reach.

Fuckass supernatural mosquito….

“You hide your true form, demon,” its voice crackled like tin foil. “Naughty, naughty.”

Changmin's nostrils flared. “What's it to you, imp?”

“The darkness that lies deep within you—I can smell it—hear it.” The pixie zipped around the room over Changmin's head, and he gritted his teeth, attempting to clamp his hands around it. It squealed in delight, black eyes going wider and wider as if it could gaze straight into his soul. “What if we open the door, demon? Ah—I smell a human in this room!”

He stiffened. “You’re only smelling my human form,” he bit out.

“Must you need a reminder? I can smell your true form and I can smell lies.”

Changmin stumbled back as the pixie flew directly in front of his face, then fluttered out of reach before he could snatch the piece of shit out of the air. The organ in his chest continued to hurtle toward overdrive—the pixie could smell you. The pixie could smell you. “I will rip the wings from your back if you even think about touching my human,” he growled.

The pixie gasped, clapping its tiny, pale hands. “Oh-ho! The claws become you! Won't you show a little more skin, demon?”

His eyes turned down to his hands, palms turned upward, the tips of his fingers turned an ash gray. Where his chipped fingernails had been, now sat a full set of dagger-sharp claws. He hadn't even realized he'd transformed them.

“What color does a pixie bleed?” Changmin lunged for the pixie with his claws outstretched.

The pixie dove out of the way, the claw just barely missing the edge of its leg. “Does your human taste divine?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Not very fun are you, demon?” The pixie whizzed past his ear, behind his head—Changmin whirled about on the ball of his foot.

He slammed his palm forward, claws denting the plaster, nightstand digging into his thighs. As the pixie rose up toward the ceiling to stay out of harm's way, Changmin climbed onto the bed, determination coursing through his veins.

“Would you like a riddle?”

Changmin swiped his hand, relishing in the splatter of clear liquid that glittered in the air—blood. The pixie's eyes widened, this time in fear. “Why would I want a riddle?”

A tremble marked the pixie's voice. “Twin halves of old, sealed by a third / like matches, they will spark the world to burn—” Its words were cut off as it swooped out of the way, its clear blood trailing behind it as Changmin's breathing grew heavier, eyes narrowing. “To save three—”

A loud crinkle, akin to a dozen small bones being crushed. A shrill shriek, nails on a chalkboard. A demonic smirk as he clutched a fragmented wing in his clawed hand.

“You were saying?” he taunted, bringing the flailing pixie close to his face. Changmin couldn't deny the rush of deep, animalistic satisfaction that purred in his chest at his caught prey. Whatever this pixie had in mind for you would never come to fruition.

“You're a fool to not heed my warning—” it spat, its agony spilling in glittery globs, “—such actions are so true to your species, my liege.”

The impact of the title came accompanied by a flurry of something bright yellow and fuzzy thrown right into Changmin's face. Alarmed, he dropped the pixie and scrambled to claw the dust out of his eyes and mouth. He spluttered and spat the substance onto the hotel room floor; upon hands and knees, he tried desperately to get ahold of his bearings.

What the fuck was this stuff?

He could hear the blood pulsing in his ears, feel the transformation taking place. There was energy going toward places on his body to grow extremities he hadn't seen in years.

No, no, no—

Changmin gagged on the pixie's dust, its acrid taste a reflection of the bitter effects to show. He screwed his eyes shut—willed his body to take control of itself. When his hands went over his head, he swore at the feeling of the twin horns curling out of his crown.

Every one of his once-human senses were dialed to eleven. Voices and car motors and leaves crunching bombarded his ears; the intricately disgusting layers of odors in the carpet separated themselves beneath him. The sensations overwhelmed him from disuse. He held his head in his arms, panic weighing down and around his bones.

When the transformation was complete, he was left in haggard breaths. His arms shook as he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, then to brace against the hotel bed.

The pixie was gone, naturally, and likely escaped out the window from where it came in.

Changmin splayed his clawed hands beneath him on the white sheets.

He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind and reign in the sensations to focus on the most important ones. Everything else could be background for now; all he needed was—was that.

There—it was faint, but approaching by the second. Humming.

It was a soft, familiar sound that curled around his taut spine with the tenderness of a lover's caress. A heartbeat followed, slow but steady and sure. The pattern was also familiar, accompanied by leisurely footsteps and the smell of dark coffee and pastries.

If he could just focus on those sensations in particular…

Then the thought hit him like a truck.

That was you. The voice, the heartbeat, the footsteps.

You would return at any moment and see him in this state. Changmin could practically feel the fear that would roll off you in waves (or was that his own?), and he lunged for the bathroom.

He stumbled into the dark chamber, fearing the reflection he'd find in the mirror should he turn the light on. The door slammed shut behind him and that darkness enveloped him.

There was your heartbeat again—ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum—still faint, but becoming clearer.

Slowly, he raised his head up to face the mirror on the bathroom wall. The dooming sense of acceptance dulled his own reaction.

Twin horns, onyx in color, curled out from the tufts of his hair, hard and unmistakable. His skin had taken on the grayish tint of his kind from the black blood that now ripped through his veins. There were the claws, of course, and the slim, wiry tail speared at the end with a sharp spade and a mind of its own. Fangs, jagged and like small knives, peaked their points out past his lips, and he snapped his mouth shut to keep the forked tongue from tasting air. His eyes had become that of a predator's, the pupils dark as night and slimmer in shape—all the better for a deeper field of focus.

In Hell, the consistent lack of bright light made it so that pinpoint eyes were sought after; it was better to see in the dark and pick apart the deep shades of red, black, purple, and blues. And, well, any sudden movement.

Changmin didn't know why he tried to fool himself into thinking keeping the bathroom lights off would change anything.

Your heartbeat was coming closer, louder. His breathing was beginning to even out as he matched his own to the sound of air rushing through your trachea, then exhaling through your nose.

He could get himself back to his human form before you got back. He could do it—he swore he could.

Focus.

It required so much focus and energy, but… but he could do it. He could do it before you saw him like this, before that calm heartbeat became erratic, and you became afraid—afraid of him.

His breathing deepened as he sucked in a lungful of oxygen. In… out.

Going from demonic form to human form in the mortal plane would be easy.

It should have been easy.

Seconds passed, and your footsteps approached from down the hall. There came the crinkle of a paper bag, shuffling of cardboard, as you shifted things in your hold to grab the room key from your pocket. The aroma of the pastries and coffee you brought back wafted into his nose, but not with the strength that your scent permeated every one of his senses—

Why couldn't he shift back?

He curled his hands into fists on the counter, frustration making his fangs scrape against each other.

Why wasn't he able to shift back? It was supposed to be easy—

The door outside clicked open and fell shut. “Changmin? Hey, I'm back.”

He stilled. The words to call back to you were lodged in his throat, unable to form upon the accursed forked tongue in his mouth. Panic seized him by the ribcage and he suddenly found it suffocating to breathe.

There was silence on your end, and he could hear your heartbeat slowly begin to quicken. “Are you—are you okay? The wall's dented, and the—and the sheets…”

Your footsteps arrived before the bathroom door, and at the same time he heard the door handle jiggle, he slammed his hand against it to bar you from coming in.

Changmin could feel your leap of fright; his shoulders sagged with regret. It probably wasn't the best idea to do that. “Don't—” he cleared his throat from the grittiness there, “—don’t come in.”

Your heartbeat calmed then, after hearing back from him. “I won't,” you promised. “Is everything okay?”

I look like a monster. Some dumb fucking pixie made it so I can't shift forms. And I can't lock the stupid door because my nails are too long.

But you didn't need to know all of that.

He hung his head, attempting to feel that tendril of power in him that he could grapple onto to trigger the transformation. Nothing. “I'm… I'm fine,” he choked out. “I—”

The corded necklace that was hidden beneath his shirt swung out into his view. His half of the pendant was not pulsing with life like yours was; it was connected to your heart, after all. But he curled his fingers around it nonetheless, his ears singling out your pulse.

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum...

“... Changmin? Can I do something to help?”

He needed time. Fuck, he just needed to wait this stupid pixie dust out. His first thought was to send you away so you wouldn't see him at all. The next was a counter to the former—he needed your pulse. That was his anchor.

The energy was slowly seeping from his bodily stores to sustain this form in this realm. Maybe if the pixie dust didn't wear off, he could tire his body into transforming.

Your voice came out even softer. “Hey, what's going on, love?”

His forehead hit the door, eyes fluttering shut. “I'm not… I don't look like myself right now.” The self you're used to, at least. “A pixie came into the room and—and it threw something at me to force me to transform.”

“Into…?”

There was a light thump sound from the other side of the door as you leaned against it. Your warmth radiated through the wood, and the little monster inside him leaned into it. “My demon form.”

Changmin loathed the silence, your held breath. The acceptance washed over him in a deafening wave like his head was being held underwater.

“Okay,” you exhaled, finally. “That’s okay… and so you're not able to turn back, is that it?”

His eyes couldn't help but narrow. “You're not scared.” The scent rolling off you wasn't that of fear.

“Why would I be scared of you?”

Changmin's breath shuddered. There were plenty of reasons for you to be scared once you saw him. This body was made to harm. “I can hear your heartbeat.”

“I'm not scar—”

“I could hear it from the street, Yn.” He didn't know what to do about the leap in your pulse, the way that steady ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum tripped over itself. Something at the back of his mind urged him to continue—to tell you everything and convince you to be scared. “I can feel the heat from your blood and smell the hotel soap on your skin.”

A beat passed. “That doesn't scare me.”

If you were anyone else, he would have laughed in your face. Foolish, foolish human. But you weren't just anyone else, and he couldn't get your terror out of his head.

When he didn't say anything for a moment, you murmured, “Love, can I come in? Can I see you?”

Changmin swallowed. “I don't want to scare you.”

“I know—but I trust you.” Your hand warmed the door handle on the other side, the soft clink of his ring against the metal echoing through the material to reach him. “Do you trust me?”

(If demons ultimately were motivated to do things that would help them, then he should open the door. To his brethren, a human willingly walking into his clutches was a mark too easy not to lose. But the reason they would want you to come in through the door was nowhere near the same reason he wanted you to.

If demonic culture didn't have a word for selfish or selfless, then what was this?)

He leaned his weight off the door.

With his body mostly hidden behind the slab of wood, he carefully cracked the door open, his claws wrapped around the outside, so you would be fed his demonic form gradually. You'd seen the claws before when he'd gouged a siren's eyes out. But your eyes drank in the ashen skin around his features—death incarnate—from the slits of his irises to the spirals of ebony piercing out of his head.

Your heartbeat took off, galloping wildly as he revealed more and more of himself while you stepped into the bathroom. The thunderous rush of your blood echoed in his own ears; it was a tantalizing sensation.

There was a nervousness to your movements. Your lips were tight, hands slightly shaky. But above all else, your eyes remained tender and worried, and he might have fallen to his knees if he wasn't clutching the door.

“Do you want to close the door?” You asked.

Even now, you wanted to accommodate him. He gave a small nod, but added, “Can you—can you turn around?”

You dipped your head once, then turned your back to him.

(So much trust… When did he earn all of this? From what did he deserve to have your back to him in this context? He could slit your throat in a blink, but you would throw yourself into Hell if he asked.

If demonic culture didn't have a word for selfish or selfless, then what was this?)

Changmin closed the bathroom door and swallowed everything into darkness once again. He could hear your shallow breathing; you were trying to keep it steady, because you knew he could hear it as clear as a bell, but it wouldn't fool him.

He took a step closer—then faltered, as he reached a hand out for your shoulder. He retracted his hand to his side. “You can turn around.”

Eyes watched as you slowly turned your body back around. You were fidgeting around with his ring, twisting the dark metal back and forth, as you lifted your eyes up and down his form.

There was that catch in your breath again. Changmin's shoulders were so tense, he couldn't decide if that was from how high-strung he was or from the energy steadily being spent from his body. He'd probably last about another hour or two before collapsing.

The bathroom was deafeningly quiet, with only your breaths and heartbeat keeping his insecurities company. He wanted to shrink into the collar of his shirt under your gaze, eyes blown wide as the moon. As you soaked him in, his eyes roved over your face—searching, searching, searching.

At last, you tried for a soft smile. “You don't scare me.”

“I don't?” But he couldn't smell fear on you, couldn't make out any clear displays of it. He'd looked for them all. Your heartbeat had calmed, but your expression had never lost that something.

(Was this love?)

You stepped forward once, and then again, until you stood with your toes touching and noses almost brushing. You shook your head and reached up to brush your thumb against his cheekbone.

So warm… so gentle.

His fangs gleamed in the dark when his lips parted. “You've been through so much,” he croaked. “Don't I look like them?” Them, the few creatures who had made you go on the run in the first place? Did creatures like him not haunt your waking world and nightmares? How could you bear to sleep next to him at night?

“If you're trying to convince me you're a monster, then it won't work.” Your fingers trailed down the plane of his face and he reached up to grasp onto you before you could retreat. “Does it hurt?”

At that question, he couldn't help the small, raspy laugh that bubbled out of his chest.

“What?” You asked, the corners of your mouth lifting upward.

“It's no—” he shook his head, his tongue darting out to slip over his lips. His fingers rearranged around yours and held them close to his chest, his thumb finding the familiar characters of his name wrapped around your digit. “—nothing. I just… you still care.”

Confusion flickered over your face, but was swiftly replaced by something softer. “Of course I still care.”

“I could hurt you.”

“You could have hurt me a long time ago.” But you haven't.

Changmin swallowed again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from your palm wrapped in his. “No, it doesn't really hurt,” he whispered. “I just can't sustain this form for very long.”

Your eyes shone. “How long?”

“A couple hours at most,” he said, fangs grazing his lip. “I'm trying to wait out the pixie dust—”

“Pixie dust? Aren't you supposed to be flying?” Your grin was flooring, but he managed not to falter. At his deadpan expression, you patted the back of his hand. “Sorry, don't get your horns in a twist.”

“Yn—”

“It was right there; I had to.”

Even he couldn't suppress the curl of lips for long. He just… Hell, he just loved you. Even if he now had slits for pupils and knives for teeth, nothing could mistake the blatant fondness in his features. His eyes could be pitch black, but he would still find a way to express silently how much he adored you.

You pursed your lips, the mirth leaving your face for a second. “Do you need blood? How long until the pixie dust wears off?”

“I'm not sure, but I'm not taking your blood.” He sent you a pointed look when you opened your mouth to retaliate. “It's like you have a death wish from the amount of times you've offered me blood. I'm not dying, sweetheart.”

“You could be…”

“Technically, I'm undead—”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, whatever.” Your nose wrinkled up for a second, and then you were wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his shirt. “You’re still Changmin to me. You're still the guy I'm in love with.”

His arms came around your form and he tucked his face into the crook of your neck, careful to keep his horns from hitting you. He suffocated himself on the feel of your skin, the subtle bump in your pulse just beneath the surface. Despite everything, you still trusted him enough to put his teeth so close to your scars. You didn't run away from him, from the true him.

(Was this love?)

He wanted to hold you here forever. His human. “I love you.”

Your body tensed in surprise, and it nearly chased him away until you squeezed him tighter. He felt your lips against the place his human heart would have been. Changmin always had doubts, but you were so good at calming them. “I know.”

And haven't you always known?

Changmin had known, too, even if he'd searched long and hard for the doubt. All this time of sharing your space, your warmth, your company—he knew.

a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed!

night terrors fic / collection

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @lotties-readings @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @gluion @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @bjnet

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littleroaes · 8 months ago

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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, tbz [ TEASER ]

FULL FIC

Y/n's stale love life gets a catalyst at the start of the autumn semester when two weeks earlier; her younger brother got egged on by his friend to post the box of secret love letters she has collected during 12 years. how does she handle the end of summer and five leaked love letters?

PAIRING ( 3rd pov, she/ her ) fem!reader x lee hyunjae, lee juyeon, ji changmin, kim sunwoo, eric sohn

GENRE, WARNINGS fluff, university!au, humor, to all the boys i loved before!au, 2000s and 2010s au, summer!au, sprinkle of angst, sporty people, nerdy people, parties, friends2lovers, childhood friends, bickering, slice of life, coming of age ( more info in full fic ! )

RELEASE DATE end of may / beginning of june

ESTIMATED WORD COUNT 10 - 17 k

TEASER WORD COUNT : about 500

this will be my fic for the @deoboyznet love letter collective event! ( idk if i should use the dbn tag since it’s just a teaser ) i've wanted to write a "to all the boys..." fic for so long and i'm finally doing it! if someone wants to be tagged for the full fic lmk!

like and reblog are highly encouraged!

THERE'S A THING YOU DO–OR SHE DOES AT LEAST–WHEN SOMETHING'S BEEN OCCUPYING YOUR MIND.

Dad told her once after an argument with a best friend to take a paper and a pen; then, let it out. Fold the paper, lay it in a box, and shelter under your bed.

It’s inherently the same concept as a diary she suppose. Though, somewhat more effective.

Nonetheless, from that first letter a series of what one can only describe as an uncontrolled teenage angst ensemble of love letters emerged over the course of twelve years.

...

There are five of them.

The first one is Lee Jaehyun, a three year older popular student who she had a trivial crush on in middle school (together with everyone else). In all honesty she didn’t know much about him; just that he was cute looking. There’s a sort of emotional torment in recalling her one sided adoration while leaned out the school window to see him play football. Even his name haunts her still in uni as her roommate had a crush on the shining hockey player the entire two semesters.

In short, everyone liked Lee Jaehyun.

Next is Eric Sohn, her childhood friend, the boy next door, her first love? He has many titles she realize. He lived in an impressive house north from hers, one that hosts many parties every time his parents take the trip to their summer resort. At some point, it felt like he knew every kid in town. Luckily for her; Y/n has never been the jealous type. Despite being each other’s ride or die since ten, Y/n has never confessed the secret ways she looked at him back in the sandbox.

Third is Sunwoo–just Sunwoo; she never got his last name–from summer camp who she even (jokingly) got married to. Her first summer at thirteen, away from her parents, with kids her age. When recalling it all back, that summer feels as if taken right out of a movie, and she fell head first, three meters deep with the boy. Sunwoo always stood in the center (bad and good…mostly bad tbh). They got paired up for the kayak; it pissed rained and their coordination couldn’t take them ten meters. But she remembers every word he said as butterfly inducing nonetheless. After that, at night they snuck out of their cabin’s to watch the stars. And when that summer too ended, she swore her heart shattered into million pieces.

The fourth is Lee Juyeon, a boy she had never seen before until his cat got pregnant by her own. Scuba Steve (long story) had been gone for some days until another family came up to their door with him. For half a year, it felt like she saw Lee Juyeon everyday. He was just as enchanted by kittens as her (if not more) and they would visit each other just to cuddle with them. Her teenage heart used to rush with the mere presence of him and they together named all the kittens–until they were sold off. Then they eventually stopped seeing each other. Though he still lurks around as a poet’s ghost around campus (source: Eric).

The last one, Ji Changmin, the son of her mother’s friend. He teached her calculus for a while in high school. To be fully transparent, she didn’t learn much from him that year because all she did was leaning on the kitchen table while adoring him until the rims of his glasses slipped. He always scolded her endearingly when she didn’t listen (which was the majority of the time). Ji Changmin always wore cute polos with neat pants–now when thinking about it, her mother might have approved if they got together. But it’s too late. He went to uni; and simply left her with a newfound thing for glasses (still wearing cute polos in uni).

And that's all five. She sometimes wonders if it was a mere symptom of youth that resulted in those letters. Since uni–outside a campus crush or two-–that compelling yearning for someone has never come back to her.

to be continued

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beamtori · 1 year ago

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𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲

demon (in human form)!ji changmin x afab!reader

it's a silly thing that brings you both to intimacy, but the intimacy is never silly.

3.0k words, smut (minors dni), incredibly soft sex, talks abt sex/dicks lol (if u can't talk abt it, then don't do it!), unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it bro), penetrative sex, fingering, low-key body worship (f.receiving), so much kissing, pet name (sweetheart), mentions of a broken wrist and scars?

a/n: this is an extension to my fic night terrors on my main! there are a couple refs from the fic, but the established dynamic is a huge turnaround for me in terms of writing for changmin if u haven't read night terrors yet LMAO anyways, for me and @mosviqu ily bar!! <3

CHANGMIN HAD GROWN USED TO your random questions of curiosity. There was, after all, so much you didn't know about his world, and for the most part, he was perfectly fine divulging information to you and being honest. He cared about you, after all. Loved you, even. It was just what he felt around and about and for you.

“How do demons have sex?”

He nearly snorted water through his nose.

You glanced over at him innocently from where you were perched on the hotel bed, your phone connected to its charger discarded on the nightstand.

He cleared his throat, capping the water bottle and setting it aside so he wouldn't choke again. “Sorry?” He sputtered, thumping his fist against his chest.

Your eyelashes fluttered and you replied airily, “Do you have sex the way humans do? Like… vaginal penetration or…? Am I making sense? Do you even have a—”

“Yn, I have a dick,” he cut in, then made a face. “Why are we having this conversation again?”

The two of you were holed up in a hotel several hours’ ride from Moonstone Creek. You were currently on your way to meet one of Changmin's clients about a missing lucky witch's cauldron. Instead of shacking up at a motel, you insisted on staying at a nicer hotel for once. Screw saving money this time; your ass deserved a break after sitting in his car for however long. Maybe you should invest in a butt pad…

You shrugged, shifting your position so you sat at the foot of the bed with your feet dangling over the edge. You held your dominant wrist with the other hand—a month had passed since it had been shattered, and though almost completely healed, it was still a little tender. “I was just thinking,” you said. “Is it like a human d—”

“It's a penis, Yn,” he deadpanned. “You've seen one, right?”

Your skin warmed. “Of course, I have,” you sputtered. “I was just curious about your—” You stopped yourself. “That sounds wrong.”

Changmin arched a brow at you, braiding his arms over his chest as he leaned against the table across from you. “Supernatural creatures do have needs, too, you know. Sex isn't just a human thing.”

“I know that,” you shot back. Sex definitely wasn't exclusive to humans. “When was the last time you had sex?"

“I don't understand where this is coming from.”

“Are you a virgin?”

A laugh bubbled out of his mouth. “I think it's impossible for a demon to be a virgin in any sense,” he said, head tilted to the side, tongue tracing his slight smile. It was funny for him to think about, really.

His eyes fixated on you again. “Are you a virgin?”

“Me? No.” Even when you were working your ass off for your accounting degree, you managed to find time to socialize with somebody. It hadn't been that special, really, but the guy had been decent and not an asshole. By your limited scope, that was as okay a time as any.

The room descended into silence.

You could tell he was thinking about something with the crease between his brows and the muscle in his jaw twitching. You didn't know what it was, but you could read that much.

“So why haven't we had sex yet?” was the question that popped out of your mouth next. It wasn't necessarily directed for him to answer; it was more so a… thinking-aloud situation… right…

But by the surprise that flickered across his face, he was going to answer it anyway. “I—I don't know. I guess…” He scratched the side of his head. “I never really thought about it.”

“Oh.”

You could see the regret as soon as he said it.

He brushed a hand through his hair, stepping over to you and kneeling in front of you. His eyes fluttered closed for a second before opening again. “I didn't mean it—like that. I just mean that so much has happened that it's the last thing on my mind. I didn't want it to come off like I only wanted that from you.”

“I know you don't,” you said, leaning onto your knees to lower your face slightly toward his. “But we both have needs, don't we?”

“Are you saying you're in the mood?” He asked.

“I mean—I was looking out for both of us.” You sat up again, leaning back onto your hands, putting more emphasis on your nondominant one. He followed you up and stood between your legs, knee pressing down onto the mattress to lean over you and collect you in his arms.

You both tumbled onto the sheets, your face pressed to his chest and his chin tucked over your head, legs tangled together. “I don't know,” you muttered, “it's been a good month, and I guess I was just…” Insecure. “I’m being ridiculous though,” you laughed the thought away, “every couple goes at their own pace.”

His fingers grasped your chin and pulled your eyes to meet his. The eye contact was strangely intimate with him as it always was. “Yn,” he said lowly, “you’re not being ridiculous.”

He rolled his body over yours, arms bracketed around your head with your noses a breath apart. “Can I kiss you?” He asked in earnest, searching your face.

You nodded, eyes wide. “Yes.”

His hand curled around the back of your head as he lowered his mouth over yours. Your nose slotted beside his, and you raised your upper body to hold onto him and press yourself all the more close. You sighed, his tongue pressing into your mouth to deepen the kiss.

There had been a few other times you'd kissed before. There was no rush with this one. He took his sweet time with you, kissing you languidly, devouring you whole. His limbs wrapped around you like a python so you were unable to leave his grasp—as if you wanted to.

When you broke apart, you were flushed and his breathing was heavy. He brushed the hair from your face, your eyes glazed as you stared up at him. “I've never been intimate with someone I care so much about,” he confessed, his voice gravelly from the kiss. Your lips parted for his thumb as he dragged it over your bottom lip.

“Me neither,” you told him. You reached up to run your hand through his hair. “Is it scary?”

“The way I feel about you?” He wrestled down a swallow. “I'm terrified.” Terrified to break you, to lose you, to hurt you. Everything in between.

It wasn't always that you were given the privilege of seeing him so open and vulnerable. He had slowly become better around you, especially around you, but there was still a few things you had to get past. It was okay though; he just needed time. That much you understood. This was new to you, too.

“I'm nervous,” you admitted quietly, “but I trust you.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your mouth. Your eyes fluttered closed. “I trust you, too.”

Changmin brought his lips to the corner of your mouth, then to the underside of your jaw. Your fingers buried themselves into his hair as he trailed his lips down the column of your neck as if to taste every inch of your skin.

Your heart palpitated in your chest and you held him close, neck craned to encourage him. A moan slipped from your mouth when you felt his teeth graze your pulse. The rough pad of his tongue swiped over the mark he left.

It was strange to think of how trust and love worked. It would be so easy to rip your throat out, but instead, he was here kissing you.

His fingers danced along the bottom hem of your shirt in silent question, and you guided his hand beneath the fabric and along your bare skin. You shuddered as his fingers trailed up your side and reached the edge of your bra.

He raised his lips up to meet yours again, eyes half lidded.

Your shirt came up and over your head, bra clasp unsnapping behind your body until your top half was bare before him.

And he looked at you under him with an expression you couldn't discern immediately. It was that thing he always did, the look he had in his eyes when he stared at you, but this time felt slightly different.

You shied away into yourself, one of your arms coming to lie across your chest. “What?” You let out a small laugh.

He swallowed, meeting your eyes. “I…” Changmin took your arm and brought your once-shattered wrist to his mouth. He pinned your arm above your head then, so he could see you. “Nothing, I just—you’re beautiful.”

Your resolve softened. “You can touch me.”

He kissed you again then, softly, one palm enclosing around your left breast. You shivered, your heart throwing itself up against its confines so it might reach the hand it wanted to be held in.

Changmin rolled one perked nipple between his fingers and you arched your chest up into his hand.

“I never say it—” He said, tongue swiping over your lips again for any and every taste of you, “—as much as you deserve to hear it.”

His lips met your pulse again, mouth trailing down your clavicle, to the pendant resting on your sternum. The pulsing of the scarlet mirrored your own racing heartbeat and gave your state of mind clean away. Every touch of his lips, lap of his tongue, nip of his teeth along your skin felt like he was tracing your outline and committing you to memory. Every inch of you, loved and worshiped and acknowledged. Not his to own, but his to cherish.

Changmin's shirt came off next, exposing a toned upper body marked in faded white scars here and there. Oh, to kiss each mark upon his body—an endeavor for another time. The twin to your necklace swung over you from around his neck as he returned himself to your embrace.

“You're beautiful, too—d’you know that?” You murmured to him between the breaths between kisses.

“Only if you show me.”

You smiled against his mouth. “Deal.”

You felt his mouth curl up in a similar gesture, his arms wrapping around your waist and pressing the length of his body against yours. His weight was a comfort, kissing him was a dream.

Changmin tugged the waistline of your pants down, fingers hooking in the elastic of your underwear, then pausing. “This okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded, and you helped kick your bottoms off and away. He was swift to follow suit, the belt of his buckle clinking together as he slid it off, then his jeans, and boxers. You could see the outline of his cock strain through the fabric before his aching, reddened length slapped against his lower stomach.

“Would it ruin the mood if I said that probably isn't what your demon form dick looks like?” You asked cheekily as he clambered back over you.

Changmin rolled his eyes. “I'm tryna be romantic and all you can talk about is—mmmph!”

You silenced him by dragging his mouth back down to yours. He melted into you, weaving his hand between your bodies so he could drag his fingers through your lower lips. You jolted at the feeling, your hips twitching in his direction in a silent plea.

He groaned low into your mouth, withdrawing as he circled his fingers through your arousal. “Is this all for me?” He asked, dipping a finger into your cunt. His thumb drew dizzying circles into your clit, and you swore you saw stars.

“Yeah, 's all for you,” you exhaled, earning you a searing kiss as he swallowed those words.

You pushed your hips against his hand, a pair of his thick fingers filling you up and curling against the sweet, gummy spot of your inner walls. It was as if he knew exactly where to find it, and knew exactly how much pressure would make you rocket up toward white-hot bliss.

You whimpered against his mouth as the tension in the pit of your stomach wound up tightly. “Changmin—”

“You close, sweetheart? Wanna see how pretty you look when you come.”

His thumb branded your clit with his fingerprint and drove you to insanity. Blood rushed in your ears, head spinning as he helped you over that crest. You cried out as you crashed and the steady pumping of his fingers coaxed you through it. Your fingers dug into the muscle of his shoulders, grounding you as your legs shook and toes curled.

His fingers maintained their steady pace as you came down from the high. You imagined you looked like something of a hot mess beneath him, but when your eyes fluttered up to meet his, you were struck by the tenderness in those dark irises.

When you could breathe evenly, he withdrew his fingers and collected your come to thumb over the pearl beaded at the tip of his cock. “Are you—was that okay?” He asked, his free hand thumbing your cheek. You saw his jaw twitch as he pumped his cock with his other hand, slickened with both of your arousal.

You gave a breathy laugh, and he nearly stopped at the sight of your smile. “Okay? That was—that was more than okay,” you said. “Ji Changmin, come here. Let me kiss you.”

It was something in the way he crushed his mouth against yours this time, one hand cradling the side of your face like you were all he ever wanted—the other coming up to grasp your side—that had your stomach doing flips. And if actions spoke louder than words, you wanted to believe that he was yelling them at you now. If he couldn't bring himself to scream them from the top of a building, this would be enough.

Your nose gently bumped against his. “Can I do something for you?”

He replied lowly between kisses, “Another time. Just… let me do this for you. It'll be enough for me.”

You melted in his hold, as if he didn't make you a fuzzy-chested, dizzy-headed mess all the time.

You felt him nudge your opening, and you locked your hands around his neck. Slowly, you felt a delicious stretch as he pushed into you. Changmin groaned into your neck, the sound making you arch yourself into him further. His voice alone sent you careening toward your own climax, it was so sensual.

Once he sat in you to the hilt, hips locked against hips, he lingered to give you a moment to get comfortable. The girth of him filled you up delectably, the pain only the undertone to pleasure.

He raised his head out of the crook of your neck. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah—” you nodded, “—I’m good.”

He returned the gesture, biting his lip, then swooping down to kiss you again. “You're doing so well for me,” he murmured. “So warm, so tight. Fuck, you feel divine.”

He pulled himself out slightly, then gave an experimental thrust of his hips. Your hold tightened around him, a moan slipping from your lips. He held you as he continued this motion, a steady and strong rocking of his hips against yours, cock dragging along your walls in confident strokes.

He tucked his head back into your shoulder, lips pressing open mouthed kisses to your hot skin. You could feel the dampness between your thighs dribble down your legs, and you were gradually clambering back onto that hill with your stomach twisting in pleasure.

His labored breathing filled your ear, followed by his mouth—marks lovingly pressed into your flesh and whispered in your ear. You locked a leg around his slim waist and met his thrusts, the pacing quickening slightly as you both began approaching your highs.

Your voice came out choked and desperate. “Changmin, I'm…”

“Yeah, sweetheart; I got you.” Changmin pushed himself back up to hover over you for the last few thrusts, his lips pressed together tightly and sweat dripping down the slope of his nose. He slipped a hand between your bodies again and worked at your nub—and it was all you needed to be pushed over that edge again.

You cried out his name, fingernails burying themselves in his shoulders. You clenched down hard around him, breathing hard and ragged.

You thought you heard him groan out your name as his hips stilled and he came. You exhaled heavily, his body wrapping around yours again while you both caught your breath and descended from bliss.

He left a kiss just below your ear and you cupped the back of his head and shoulders to your body. “Fuck me,” he muttered, rolling your bodies to the side, legs sticky and tangled together.

“Didn't I just do that?” You mused.

He chuckled, moving his head to bump his nose against yours. “Yeah, guess so.” Changmin gazed at you then, eyes searching and searching and searching. You never asked what he was looking for; you always figured he'd one day be able to tell you.

He licked his lips and a crease formed between his brows. “Yn… Yn, I…”

The voice inside his throat remained trapped, the words on his tongue froze. You looked up at him, glassy-eyed and patient, the tilt of your lips so sweet and terribly beautiful. He'd never been at such a loss for words.

You moved forward to press a kiss to his mouth. “I know,” you said. Even if he couldn't say it yet, you always knew.

He swallowed, a moment of silence falling between the two of you. His heart careened against his chest, and he was sure if the amulet he wore now had his blood running through it, the damn thing would pound away like a galloping horse.

He wondered how he got so lucky.

But though he couldn't express it in words, he would always find a different way to reassure you that he felt the same. Changmin leaned forward and wordlessly captured your lips again, rolling you onto your back and pressing every last word he hadn't the guts to say into this searing kiss.

I love you, I adore you. Thank you. Be mine, in life and death; mortally and immortally. Every promise, he would strive to keep.

a/n: at one point, yes, i will write abt sex in his demon form LMAO what did u expect from me 🤣 anyways, this turned out to be around the length of an actual chapter of nt haha

m.list

#the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #ji changmin x reader #changmin x reader #ji changmin smut #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #the boyz drabbles #the boyz oneshot #ji changmin oneshot #ji changmin imagines #ji changmin scenarios #ji changmin drabbles

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gluion · 8 months ago

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[TEASER] finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin

ji changmin x reader

with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.

inspired by ➵ "seasons" by wave to earth, the last five years

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, the last five years story-telling method aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward (i hope that makes sense), missed chances, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, hurt/comfort, jealousy remains but love triumphs, tiger parents, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all

word count ➵ est. 10-15k [now available! read here]

playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by renee rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth

a/n ➵ shhhhhhh.... i know that i'm still writing this but a lil motivation and accountability goes a long way SOOO !!! this is just a lil teaser for the upcoming jichang fic for the deoboyznet event <33 thank you again to my lovely @hcuyk for beta reading !!! (i've only written 1/4 please understand.) but i'm dedicating this to my lovely @sungbeam whose love for changmin is one i'll forever feel even to my ribs and @wavesmp3 who forever remains an inspiration in the way i write </3 plus, i've posted these snippets anyway so :P if ure interested in this fic, feel free to ask to be part of the taglist for this! and dont forget to always leave feedback <3

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlists

the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.

your tastebuds long for cheongju.

“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”

you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stocking up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”

“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”

“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”

your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”

“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”

“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”

the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob quickly runs away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.

still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.

but he bites the inside of his cheek, and his dimples appear.

“yeah, about that…”

“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”

at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”

“what? why?”

you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”

“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”

“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”

“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”

an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”

“y/n?”

and the plan failed.

all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”

a beat passes.

taglist ➵@winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

#the boyz x reader #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin angst #ji changmin fluff #the boyz imagines #ji changmin imagines #the boyz scenarios #ji changmin scenarios

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yootaesowlwrites · 1 year ago

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Wake You - Ji Changmin / Q

A/N: Merry Christmas @atinyfantasytothemoon

W/C: 935

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog or a pfp. Minors DNI or get blocked!

Prompts: “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

Warnings: Fluff.

Age Warning: No age warning applies to this.

The wind had suddenly picked up which caused Changmin to wake when the sudden harsh wind blew through the open window and knocked a few things over, the curtains flailed aggressively as the strong wind continued. He moves closer to the bedside table and taps the screen of his phone to look at the time, 3:30 am. He lowly groans before looking over his shoulder at you, he could only see your silhouette and assumed you were still asleep.

He slowly pushes the covers off himself before climbing out the bed, careful not to make any sudden movements that could wake you, he makes his way towards the window and closes it before pulling the curtains closed, he turns back to the bed and finds you moving as you begin to sit upright.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” He says as he makes his way back to the bed. You pull the covers a little closer to yourself as you watch him sit down on his side of the bed.

“You didn’t, I was already awake,” You say. “The wind was… really strong and loud just now,” He nods his head, agreeing with you. “Thank you for closing the window,” He reaches for one of your hands and places his over yours to gently squeeze your hand.

“I don’t think I’ll be falling asleep any time soon now,” He says. “I’m going to go make some hot chocolate, do you want a mug also?” You push the covers away from you as you nod your head. “Great, should we put on a film also?”

“Maybe we should, just until the wind calms down a little,” You say as you climb out of bed. He quickly stands and you both make your way out of the bedroom and towards the living area. He flips on the light switch and makes his way into the kitchen area. “Should I choose something for us?”

“Hmm, take your time,” He says as he begins preparing everything to make the hot chocolate. “Something cartoonish,” You pick up the remote and turn the television on and open the streaming app.

“No scary movie?” You ask jokingly as you begin to go through the movie options, reading each of the choice's descriptions.

“Do you want to watch a scary movie?” He asks. You pause and think for a moment, you did not, but you knew which genre he loved. “Your reactions says it all, that’s why I said a cartoon movie,” You lick your lips as you slowly nod your head.

“You’re always thinking of me, aren’t you?” You ask as you begin going through the movie titles again. “You are an incredible boyfriend,” He smiles at your words as he continues to prepare the hot drink for you both. “I’ll have the guts for it one day, Min…” You plop down on the couch and pull a pillow closer to your side. “Just not tonight…”

“You don’t need to watch it just because I like it,” He says. “You shouldn’t need to put yourself through discomfort just because it’s something I like, you know,” You nod your head as you turn your attention away from the TV and to him. “I don’t mind watching other genres, I like them also.”

“I know, but maybe one day… maybe just one that doesn’t have any jump scares at all,” You say. “Maybe the Scooby doo one?” He chuckles as he picks up the mug that is now filled with hot chocolate.

“Zombie Island?” He asks as he makes his way towards the couch. “I don’t mind watching that one, should we watch that one now?” He places the mugs on the coffee table in front of the couch before plopping down next to you.

“Nooo, not now,” You say. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side. “Maybe during the day, or sometime over a weekend,” He chuckles while nodding his head. "It's Christmas today, we can't watch that on Christmas day…"

“Sometime over a weekend, it is then,” He says. “What are we watching right now?” You look back at the screen and see that you haven’t chosen a movie yet. "And Merry Christmas, baby," He whispers and kisses the top of your head, making you smile.

“Well…” You begin to say. “We will figure that out in a moment,” You begin scrolling through the movies once again, quickly going over the descriptions. “This, this seems like a good one to watch while there’s a strong wind outside,” You open the movie and put the controlled down as the movie begins playing. “Is this okay with you?”

“Hmm, it’s okay with me,” He says. “It’s a good choice,” You nod your head and pick up your mug of hot chocolate to take a sip. “Does it taste okay?” You nod your head after taking a sip from it.

“Hmm, it’s good,” You say. “Tasty,” You put the mug down before snuggling into his side and turning your full attention to the movie.

“I’m glad it is,” He says, and lays his head on top of yours. You both slowly become immersed in the film as the wind continues to rage on outside, the night slowly passes by as you drink your hot chocolate and watch the movie, having small talk in between about the movie, and which one should be next to watch, but the next one never arrived, by the time the first movie ended, the mugs were empty on the coffee table and you both were cuddled up on the couch fast asleep.

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mymoodwriting · 5 months ago

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16.3k, yandere, sirens, minor hydrophobia, sleep walking, lucid dreaming, potential drowning, trauma, drugs, manipulation, kidnapping, smut, aphrodisiac, monster fucking, monster cock, fingering, penetration, female penetration, french kissing, pussy licking, cream pie, implied gang bang (@starillusion13)

“This trip is gonna be awesome!”

Your friends had always told you to visit the Fairy Tale Waterfall, since it was a big tourist attraction, and something you had to do at least once in your life. You agreed, it was an incredible place, but you definitely didn’t have the heart to tell them you had already been there once, and weren’t really eager to go back. You had gone with another friend group back then and over the last year had drifted apart. You didn’t want to disappoint your new friends and make them feel bad if you were left out, so you packed a bag and went out with them.

You arrived at the waterfall early in the morning, the sunlight shining down on the water, making it sparkle. This place was really beautiful, you couldn’t deny that. Although you felt this nervousness in the back of your head as you stared at the water. You knew how to swim, and you still did so at pools and the beach, but this waterfall, you weren’t so sure you wanted to get in the water at all. You put that to the side and helped your friends set up the tents. You focused on that even as some of the others went for a swim, saying you wanted to make sure everything was set up before nightfall.

When you had mostly finished up you took a little break, sitting down in the shade of a tree, staring out at your friends. They were having so much fun, and their smiles brought one to your face. This really was an amazing place and you were glad to be here, but the memories of the past continued to haunt you. This whole scene before you actually felt like deja vu, especially when your friends noticed you and began gesturing for you to join them. You shook your head and pointed towards your campsite, telling them you weren’t done. They let it go for now, but you began to worry. It might not have been a good idea to come at all. As you continued to watch them you could help but think back to the last time you had been here.

🖤

“Y/n! Get up and get in the water!”

You opened your eyes to the sound of your friends calling for you. A groan escaped your lips, followed by a smile. You took a moment and then dressed yourself before stepping out of the tent. The warm sun shined down on you, and after a moment your eyes adjusted. You saw your friends out at the water, seeing them waving and gesturing for you to come over. You walked towards the shoreline, but yelped when you felt the water.

“It’s so cold!”

“Just get in!” Jemma shouted. “You’ll warm up to it.”

You laughed and walked into the water, shivering a bit but smiling all the way. Your friends cheered as you wadded over to them.

“Y/N!”

You heard a splashing sound, hearing a familiar voice call your name. You stopped and turned around, seeing your friend, Ally, frantically making their way over to you. It was an odd sight especially when you had seen Ally with your group of friends that had called you out. Something was off, and it was starting to freak you out. As Ally approached you stepped back, panicking. You wound up slipping and going under. When you resurfaced everything had changed. Day had turned to night and you felt a greater chill in the water. While you looked around confused and disoriented Ally caught up to you.

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing?”

“Huh?”

Ally could tell you weren’t in your right mind, so she helped you out of the water and onto dry land. She told you to stay put and not move a muscle while she went to get you a towel. She helped you dry off, bringing you over to a fire to help warm you up.

“Wa… what happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Girl, I woke up to get a drink and I see you walking out into the water. You scared me, were you sleepwalking or something?”

“I… I guess… I thought… you guys were out there… and it was morning…”

“Talk about a vivid dream. Let’s properly dry you up and change your clothes.”

You got up and went with Ally, cleaning up and getting into dry clothes. You couldn’t really go back to sleep, but come morning you packed up, Ally and your friends thinking it best to leave after such an experience, and you weren’t going to argue with them. As everyone finished packing you stared out into the water. Something strange happened to you, but you couldn’t quite understand it, nor did you want to. You thought you’d never come back, but it seemed that fate had something else in mind.

🖤

As the sun went down you helped prepare dinner, coming along with some of the guys, the smell of meat in the air. For everyone’s safety you had agreed on no alcohol, but you had plenty of other refreshments for the trip. You played some games to determine tent-mates and then everyone slowly started turning in for the night. You were one of the last to go to bed, staying up to admire the stars and the calmness of the water. Although after a while a bit of uneasiness settled in and you figured it was best to go to bed. For your own sake you set up a little trip wire with a bell on it outside your tent, just in case something happened again. You hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but at least you found it easier to fall asleep.

Come morning you woke to the smell of breakfast, hearing your friends outside. You made your way out, startling yourself when you tripped over a wire, a bell snapping you awake. You tumbled to the ground panting, sound hearing some chuckles, and then a hand came into view. Your tent-mate, Misu, helped you back onto your feet, commenting on your little contraption. She noticed right away when she got up and was careful not to trip it so you could sleep in. She didn’t think you would fall for it yourself, but one could be very groggy in the morning. Things were left like that and you joined the others for breakfast. Although today you probably couldn’t avoid going into the water, and it made you a bit nervous.

“Y/n, look over there.”

Avary pointed over to a group of boys near the water. It was so early in the morning but they were already going for a swim. You could feel the blood rush to your face as you noticed some of them weren’t wearing any shirts, and the others were in white t-shirts that were already soaked. You had never seen such a thing before, and you couldn’t stop staring.

“This is exactly why we came to the waterfall.” Misu commented. “The boys. We should say hi, maybe go for a swim together.”

“I… I don’t know… I… we can’t bother them…”

“Y/n, if they were just here to swim then they wouldn’t be doing all that.”

“I… I guess…”

Misu had a point. The boys weren’t just swimming around, but being very playful with each other, and being quite loud. At this point they were surely attracting everyone’s attention. Maybe this could work in your favor. You were already too nervous to enter the water, and you could use the pretty boys as another reason not to go. You’d surely embarrass yourself if you got near them anyway. Yet, you couldn’t help but stare, something about them drawing your gaze. You only broke away when your friends called to you.

After breakfast you helped clean up, your other friends going off to swim and make conversation with those boys. They’d be distracted trying to make nice with them, so you trusted they wouldn’t be bothering you about getting into the water. You were right about that, even as you kept catching yourself staring at them. You didn’t know what it was about them that kept getting your attention, but you tried not to keep staring. After the fifth time you told yourself you needed to have the waterfall out of your line of sight, so you went to your tent. Since it had always been your plan to stay out of the water you brought a book with you to keep you busy.

You laid down to read it, having a mini fan in the tent to keep you cool. You got engrossed in your book until you heard a bell that startled you. A scream escaped your lips and you quickly turned around, seeing a stranger poke their head into your tent. You screamed again and they quickly apologized, stepping out. Once you had regained your breath you carefully crawled over to the entrance of your tent, looking out at the boy who had startled you. He had a nervous smile on his face, waving at you and apologizing once more. Now that you got a good look at him you realized he was one of the boys you had been staring at earlier. You immediately retreated back into your tent, feeling your face heating up again.

“Excuse me…” The boy peeked down into the tent. “Are you alright?”

“Uh… fine… uh… can I help you?”

“Could you come out of the tent?”

“… why…”

“Well, it’s difficult to talk this way.”

“…”

“I won’t bite.”

“… what do you want…?”

“To talk.”

“Why?”

“To be honest, I was curious about you. I saw you staring again and again, yet you didn’t go into the water. Are you afraid or something?”

“What’s it to you?”

“This is the Fairy Tale Waterfall, one of the most beautiful places there is, but you won’t get into the water. Why bother coming all the way here if you’re not gonna enjoy yourself to the fullest?”

“I’m perfectly fine where I am…”

“Are you though?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, I can teach you how to swim if you want to.”

“I know how.”

“Then why don’t you come out to play?”

“I’m good.”

“You’re very interesting.”

“Y/n!”

You heard the voice of your friend. You were glad not to be alone anymore, and this gave you the motivation to get out of the tent. You scrambled out and ignored the boy nearby, looking for your friend. When you tried to walk away your arm was grabbed and you were held back.

“Ya! Let go.”

“We weren’t done talking.”

“Y/n! Oh- I see you’ve met Juyeon.”

“Who?”

“I’m Juyeon.” The boy introduced himself. “Nice to meet you.”

“Can you let go of my arm now?”

“Ah, sorry.”

Juyeon had quickly changed demeanors when your friend showed up. He was no longer giving creepy vibes, but had a big friendly smile on his face.

“My brothers and I were talking with your friends.” Juyeon explained. “And they mentioned that someone from their group was missing. I thought to come over and get you myself. We don’t want you missing out on the fun.”

“I’m alright, thanks.”

“Come on, y/n. You didn’t get a chance to get in the water at all yesterday, you have to get in today.”

“It’s okay, Mina. Besides, I was about to start preparations for lunch, I’ll call you all when it’s ready.”

“My brothers can prepare lunch for all of us.” Juyeon suggested. “That way you’re free to come and swim with us.”

“Uh…”

“That sounds perfect!” Mina cheered. “Let’s go!”

Before you could say more Mina grabbed your hand and pulled you along towards the water. She caught you off guard so you stumbled behind her, trying to protest. Even as you spoke your eyes were fixated on the water that was fast approaching. Your words were failing you, but just as you got close to the water’s edge you screamed.

“Stop!”

Mina abruptly let you go and stepped back. You slowly settled your breathing, moving away from the water, keeping your arms close to your chest.

“Y/n… are you okay…?”

“… yeah… I’m fine… I just…”

“Y/n…”

“Close your eyes and take a deep breath.” Juyeon took your hands in his and turned your back to the water. “Just breathe, okay?”

Even though you were creeped out by Juyeon earlier it didn’t matter at that moment. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing. Juyeon gestured for your friend to go, keeping you company while you regained your composure.

“Just focus on my voice and breathe. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“… sorry…”

“What are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything wrong. Just breathe, you’re okay.”

Once you had steadied your breathing you opened your eyes, seeing the worry on Juyeon’s face. He quickly hid it behind a soft smile, giving you some reassurance.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine…”

“We should go back to the tent, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Alright. Let’s go, one foot after the other, I got you.”

Juyeon stayed at your side while you made your way back to your tent. Your legs were a bit wobbly, but he made sure you didn’t fall. He helped you get back into your tent, not wanting you out in the sun, and disappeared for a moment to get you some water. You took the bottle and he figured that was an invitation to join you. It wasn’t, but you didn’t have the energy to tell him otherwise. Juyeon sat down next to you, pulling his knees up to his chest. He watched you quietly for a moment.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“What happened to you that you’d react like that?”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, what am I supposed to tell the others? Everyone saw…”

“Ugh, I never should have come back here in the first place.”

“How about this, you tell me what happened to you a year ago, and I make sure no one mentions this little incident. Deal?”

“As if you could do that.”

“You’d be surprised.”

You stared at Juyeon, but he kept that friendly smile on his face. You had never really told anyone about what happened, and those that had been present back then were no longer in your friends circle. Maybe you did need to talk about it, and a stranger was less likely to judge.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

You sighed. “It’s silly.”

“I doubt that considering the way you reacted.”

“Last time I was here… I wound up sleepwalking into the water… it was the middle of the night, but for some reason I thought it was morning… my friend saw me and went after me… in my disoriented state I slipped under the water and panic took hold… I nearly drowned… I would have drowned if not for her…”

“And is that friend here with you?”

“No… we lost touch afterwards… my current friends don’t know about this… I didn’t want to tell them so I agreed to come along, but it was a bad idea… I couldn’t just avoid the water the whole time I’m here… I’m so stupid!”

“No, you’re not. You didn’t want to upset anyone so you came along. I think it’s great you came back here.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“From what I can tell, you’re not afraid of drowning, you know how to swim, what you’re afraid of is the waterfall.”

“That sounds crazy.”

“Is it though? The soothing sound of the calm water probably enticed you and caused you to sleepwalk. That’s understandable.”

“Why are you being so nice?”

“Can’t I? This place is amazing, I love it here, and the last thing I want is for someone to be afraid. Tell you what, how about I help you?”

“With what?”

“This, to overcome your fear so you don’t have to feel silly anymore. Not that it is silly.”

“And why would you help me?”

“Don’t you wanna have fun with all your friends and play in the waterfall? You had fun last time with your friends, so much so that you got into the water without hesitation when you thought they were calling for you. There’s nothing to be scared of. I promise.”

“… what are you gonna tell the others?”

“That you were startled and not ready to go into the water. No one’s gonna bring it up, I swear. So how about we go prepare lunch?”

“… sure… I can help…”

“Awesome.”

Juyeon got out of the tent, careful not to trip over the bells again, and waited for you. It took you a moment but you got out, taking the hand that was offered to you. Juyeon led you over to his camp area, not letting go of your hand the entire way. A few other of his brothers had already started preparing, and welcomed you as you arrived.

“These are my brothers Sangyeon, Jacob, and Younghoon.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Jacob commented. “Hear a lot about you.”

“Really…?”

“Yeah, your friends kept talking about you. Nothing but good things I promise.”

“Right… so what can I help with?”

“How about you wash some vegetables for us.”

“I can do that.”

You helped the boys with lunch preparations, loving the smell in the air. There were plenty of picnic tables in the area, so the boys brought a few together so you could all eat together. Once the food was ready the others were called over and everyone gathered to eat. That’s when you were properly introduced to the rest of Juyeon’s brothers. There wasn’t much of a family resemblance, but from the way they treated each other it was easy to tell they were very close. You on the other hand were a bit nervous, expecting some questions and concerns about the earlier incident, but there were none. Everything seemed normal, as if you didn’t have an outburst at all. You weren’t entirely sure if you should be grateful over such a thing, cause it was kinda strange, but for the moment you could at least enjoy your time with your friends.

“Hey, come with me.”

Hyunjae took your hand and led you away from the others. You thought maybe you’d go back to your camp, but he began making his way towards the water. You stopped, but his pull was far stronger than you anticipated.

“Hyunjae…”

“I know, we’re not getting into the water, I swear, but I wanted to try something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Trust me.”

You probably shouldn’t, but something about his words felt reassuring, so you followed. As he promised, you only came to the edge of the water. Hyunjae sat down and pulled you down with him. Your feet were inches from the water, but you weren’t all that nervous.

“Nothing much can happen at this depth, so there’s nothing to fear. How about we just dip our feet in?”

“… how… who…”

“Maybe I overheard you talking before… but anyway, let’s do this. Nothing like literally getting your feet wet to help you overcome your worries.”

Hyunjae put his feet in the water and gestured for you to do the same. In this situation you could see how your fear would be silly. You were just putting your feet in, and you were mostly on land, so there was no real danger. You took a breath and slowly dipped your feet into the water. The cool sensation was welcomed, and a little smile appeared on your face.

“Good job.” Hyunjae cheered. “See, everything’s okay.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m right here, keeping an eye on you, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“You can stop, you’re making it sound like I’m a child.”

“Alright, I’ll back off.”

You moved your feet around in the water, feeling a bit childish with your actions. Your gaze was on the water around your limbs. It was clean and beautiful, not at all like it could swallow you whole. When you heard a splash you looked over, seeing Sunwoo swimming towards you. The water was pretty shallow over by you, so he began crawling to get close.

“Look at you, enjoying the waterfall?”

“A bit…”

“That’s good. Why not come in for a swim? I’ll be right with you.”

“I’m okay…”

“Baby steps.” Hyunjae stated. “Little by little. Besides, you shouldn’t be in the water either, Sunwoo, you just ate.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Sunwoo splashed some water up your legs, getting a bit on your shirt. It was refreshing, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You remembered doing all this back then with your friends, deep into the waters of the waterfall without a care in the world. You didn’t want to be scared of such a wonderful place. You stood up and both boys looked at you curiously. You took a shaky step forward, going just a bit deeper into the water. Sunwoo backed away whereas Hyunjae got up and grabbed your arm.

“Woah, we don’t need to do anything drastic today.”

“I can… I can go further…”

“Don’t push yourself.”

“I know… this… this is real… I’m not dreaming… right…? Pinch me.”

“What?”

Sunwoo splashed some water in your face, getting you pretty soaked. You were stunned and wiped your face off before glaring down at Sunwoo.

“What was that for?”

“Splashing water in your face is usually a good way to wake up.”

“I said pinch me.”

“I can do that too.”

Of course Sunwoo didn’t miss the chance to move over to your leg and give you a little pinch. You yelped and jumped back a step.

“So, are you awake?”

“I guess I am.”

“Good. Let’s go waist deep.”

“No, no, no.” Hyunjae mentioned. “You also just ate, you shouldn’t be going into the water.”

“Just a bit more.”

You continued moving forward, even if it was like half a step at a time. Sunwoo was encouraging and cheering, while Hyunjae was worried and right at your side. With every step you thought about what Juyeon had said. You weren’t afraid of drowning, but of the waterfall itself. If you just showed yourself that there was nothing to fear, that it was just one bad experience, then you’d be able to enjoy this place just as you once did. The water got up above your knees when you had a bit of a slip. Hyunjae caught you and Sunwoo got up from the water to make sure you were okay.

“I think that’s good for today.” Hyunjae commented. “Let’s get back to land.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You got back on shore, and the two took you to your tent, helping you dry off. You definitely needed a change of clothes, so you went off to do that. When you got back the two were still waiting for you.

“Since you’re not gonna swim, what are you gonna do for the afternoon?” Sunwoo asked.

“I have a book with me. So just some relaxing in the shade.”

“Why don’t you come over to our campsite, we have some games and we could keep you company.”

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from your brothers.”

“We come here all the time. So we won’t be missing out on much.”

“You should join us.” Hyunjae said. “You’ll love it.”

“Alright.”

You spent your afternoon with some of the boys in their campsite, playing games and munching on snacks. It was nice, and you felt less bad about not being in the water. Later in the day you helped with dinner, and prepared some sausages and marshmallows for the campfire. Despite what had happened earlier you quite enjoyed your day and were happy to make some new friends. You stayed up a little late roasting marshmallows to make smores while sharing campfire stories. Nothing too spooky, so when you did finally sleep you didn’t have any nightmares. Come morning you were actually looking forward to the day.

After breakfast your friends mentioned they wanted to take a little hike to one of the other pools by the waterfall. You weren’t really one for hiking, but before you could give an answer Chanhee had come over to your camp, asking if anyone wanted to go for a swim. Your friends obviously already had plans, but at least now you had an alternative than to just staying behind. They didn’t seem to mind, and Misu gave you a knowing look telling you to have fun. Once they had gone you went with Chanhee to his campsite, greeting the others. They were happy to see you, and all eager for you to get in the water. Perhaps Juyeon had talked, but you didn’t care to scold him now.

Chanhee and Changmin were the two that took you over to the main pool. Not many others were around, so you’d have the place mostly to yourselves. The first to get into the water was Chanhee, diving under and getting himself completely soaked. He had a bright smile on his face, gesturing for you to join him. As you stared out into the water you felt nervous, but it was minor compared to the other day. You could stand at the edge of the water without being afraid. After a moment you took a deep breath and took a small step forward, feeling the water along your toes. You moved slowly, Changmin right at your side to make sure you were alright.

Although you only got a few inches in before Eric jumped into the water near you. He startled you a bit, causing Changmin to grab your arm and waist. You hadn’t really lost his footing, but his touch assured you that you weren’t alone. Although a moment later you were suddenly soaked as Eric was splashing water in your direction. You couldn’t help but laugh, trying to shield your face before Changmin moved you behind him. The other two began scolding the maknae but you were just curious as to why he had done this.

“What? Sunwoo said it was best to get her all wet so she’d know she’s awake, and pinch her too.”

“We’re not doing that.” Chanhee stated. “So don’t even think about it.”

“He said it was important.”

“It’s alright.”

Eric smiled and stuck his tongue out, going over to you and pinching your arm. You groaned but you grinned through the whole ordeal.

“Wide awake.”

“I am.”

“Good. Now we can continue with the important things.” Changmin said. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, baby steps.”

You continued where you left off, soon enough having water above your knees. It was as far as you had made it yesterday, and the goal was to go further. The water was a bit chilly but you were getting used to it. As you walked you kept your arms up, Changmin right behind you ready to grab you at any point. Meanwhile Chanhee stayed in front of you like a guide. You moved slowly, taking every step with caution and making sure you had your footing. Before you knew it the water was slightly above your waist. Now your nerves were starting to show.

“We can stop here.” Chanhee suggested. “You made good progress.”

“I… I can keep going…”

“You don’t have to.”

“I can… I know how to swim… I won’t drown…”

“We’re right here.” Changmin assured. “You can do this.”

You kept going as you had been, careful with every step. The two cheered you on and encouraged you. It wasn’t long before the water was at your breasts. You started laughing, a bit of nerves and joy mixed together. This wasn’t scary. You weren’t alone and the water around you was calm. Perhaps it was all that which caused you to lose focus. You took one wrong step and slipped into the water. You weren’t under for long but that was enough to trigger you and throw you into a panic.

“Y/n.”

The darkness you were met with when you went under put you back in the mindset of that day. Your vision was blurred and you were frantically reaching out for anything to hold onto. Before panic could truly settle in and take hold you felt someone lift you up. Next thing you knew you were sitting on Changmin’s shoulders, grabbing his face for stability. You were gasping for breath, shaking water out of your face.

“Easy, easy.” Chanhee grabbed your hand, trying to get your attention. “Deep breaths, deep breaths. That’s it, just breathe.”

“… what… what happened…?”

“You just slipped, but you’re okay.”

“… I’m okay…”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get you back to land.”

Chanhee kept a hold of your hand and Changmin moved slowly, getting you back to shore. You only took a few steps away from the water before collapsing to catch your breath. The two boys came to your side, keeping an eye on you as you recovered. A few of the others came rushing over to check on you.

“She’s alright.” Changmin assured. “Perfectly fine.”

“Good. We should probably dry you off.” Sangyeon held his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You accepted his hand and got to your feet. He kept you close, at his side, as you walked back to camp. As soon as you were there Jacob came over to wrap you in a towel, doing his best to warm you up.

“I’ll get you some cocoa.”

The boys had you sit by the fire, getting you another towel. Haknyeon was working on drying up your hair, being gentle, and keeping conversation.

“When did you learn to swim?”

“Uh… when I was like five…”

“Do you like it? Swimming that is.”

“Yeah. The cool water, moving in a way that feels like floating, it’s great.”

“You must have enjoyed swimming at the waterfall last year. Unlike pools, here the water is constantly moving on its own, adding to the experience.”

“Yeah…”

“You did really well today.”

“I still messed up…”

“You did no such thing. Most people would never come back here, let alone get in the water again after such an experience, but look at you. You’re quite brave don’t you think.”

“I guess…”

You had both hands on the mug of cocoa, using it to warm up. It really wasn’t that cold out, but right now you just wanted to get dry. You had lunch and stayed at the camp to play games again. No one else really brought up what happened in the morning and just focused on the present. You helped with dinner and afterwards found yourself rather tired. You wanted to wait for your friends to return, but sleep was calling to you.

“Maybe you should get to bed.”

“I’m gonna stay up and wait.”

“I don’t think you can.” Kevin chuckled. “Why don’t you go take a nap in one of our tents. We’ll wake you when your friends get back.”

“Sure…”

You couldn’t argue, well, you didn’t want to. A nap sounded like a good idea. One of the others went to get your sleeping bag and had it set down in one of their tents. None of them would be sneaking in later, so you could rest easy. It honestly wasn’t difficult to slip away into dreamland either.

🖤

“Rise and shine.”

You woke to the sounds of someone unzipping the entrance of the tent, peeking over with blurry vision to see Younghoon smiling and waving at you.

“Morning.”

“Morning? You were supposed to wake me when my friends got back.”

“Yeah, but they got back pretty late and didn’t want to wake you. Besides, it seems like you were sleeping happily.”

“Sorry. I’ll head out right now.”

“It’s okay. Let’s have breakfast first.”

Younghoon held his hand out to you, which you took after rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Everyone greeted you, and this time no one let you help with breakfast preparations. The rest of your friends came over to eat, talking about their hike and how much fun they had. You were glad to hear their stories, not speaking about your own activities from the previous day. After eating and waiting for the food to go down many went back out into the waterfall. You thought about yesterday. Even though it ended badly you had made great progress. You needed a different approach this time, and you knew exactly what to do.

“Where are you going?” Sangyeon asked. “Especially by yourself.”

“I’m gonna go swim.”

“What?”

“I got pretty far into the water, but I keep walking and that’s my problem. The water is deep, if I keep walking I won’t make much progress. I need to swim in the water, that’s how I get my confidence back.”

“Okay, but you’re not going out alone.”

“I’d hope not.”

Sangyeon went with you to the waterfall, finding a place that was mostly empty. He got into the water first, diving down and getting completely soaked. You felt your face getting a bit red, seeing as he was shirtless and now completely soaking wet.

“You coming?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You slowly walked towards the water, but stopped at the edge. You had to mentally prepare yourself, but you were still nervous.

“I’ll go with you.”

Jacob suddenly appeared at your side, giving you a reassuring smile. He took your hand and the two of you walked into the water. You shivered from the cold water, letting out a yell.

“I guess the morning sunlight hasn’t warmed it up.” Jacob teased. “Shall we check to see if you’re awake?”

You nodded which prompted Sangyeon to splash water in your face. It was still cold, but nothing changed, it was still bright and early. Jacob gave you a little pinch, making you jump ever so slightly going further into the water.

“Shall we continue?”

“Yeah.”

You took a few more steps into the water, getting up to your waist. You stopped and slowly lowered yourself further in, getting the water up to your neck. You moved your arms around, trying to get a good feel for the water. The area around you was clear, so there wouldn’t be anything in your way. You mentally counted to three and then dove down into the water, swimming a little bit before surfacing. The sun was still out, Jacob and Sangyeon in your view, big smiles on their faces.

“I did it.”

“Yeah you did!”

Such joy surged through you, and your fears began to wash away. You were happy to be able to swim in the waterfall again, assured that you were awake and with good company. You swam around with Sangyeon and Jacob, some of the others coming over as well.

“Can I show you something?” Sangyeon asked.

“Sure.”

“Follow me.”

Sangyeon led the way over to the waterfall, helping you get out of the water and carefully moving along the rocks. Next thing you knew you were behind the waterfall in what looked like a cave entrance. You sat down by the edge, watching the backside of the waterfall, taking in the beautiful sounds and scenery.

“I didn’t know you could get back here.”

“It’s a bit risky, but worth it.”

“I agree.”

“I have something for you.”

“Hm?”

Sangyeon grabbed a plastic bag out of his swimtruck, revealing these transparent spheres. He pulled one out and popped it in his mouth, holding the bag out to you.

“These are gummies, mystery flavor. It’s my favorite so I thought you’d like some.”

“Thanks.”

You grabbed a gummy from the bag, curious as to what they were since you had never seen them before. They were very squishy and then you put it in your mouth. You chewed on it while focusing on the taste to figure out what flavor it was.

“Hm… I’m thinking peach.”

“Mine tastes like strawberry.”

“Nice. Where did you get these anyway?”

“That’s a secret.”

“Come on.”

“Not telling.”

“Why? I-”

Your words were cut short as you felt your throat drying up. You thought maybe something was stuck as it became difficult to breathe but you didn’t feel anything. You clawed at your neck, trying to find some sort of explanation. You looked to Sangyeon in fear, but he didn’t seem at all concerned. He popped another gummy into his mouth and then grabbed you. The two of you fell into the water together. You thought panic would overtake you, but for some reason you felt fine. You quickly surfaced and stayed a float, suddenly able to breathe again.

“What… what just happened…?”

“It’s temporary, just to get you home.”

“What?”

“You’ll see.”

Sangyeon pulled you back under water, scaring you and causing you to flail around. He held you tight though, and pulled you close, surprising you with a kiss. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you began feeling dizzy. The more you tried to push him away the less strength you had. The edges of your vision began to go black, and it wasn’t long before darkness swallowed you whole.

🖤

You gasped awake and began coughing up some water. As you began to regain your senses you looked around. There was a large pool of water before you, and there seemed to be rocks all around. You were in some sort of cave. A bit of sunlight came into the room from an opening in the ceiling, but there seemed to be nowhere else to go. You were trapped here. Now you were starting to wonder how you even got there and how you would escape. You got up on shaky legs and looked around for some type of opening you could reach.

“You’re awake.”

You jumped and looked around for the voice, then you saw Juyeon in the water, waving at you. For a moment you thought you were imagining things, but he swam closer, and that’s when you got a real good look at him. His eyes had become slits, like a cat, and were a golden color. A few bluegreen scales decorated his cheeks and ran along his arms. His fingers were webbed together, also showing claws instead of nails. A few fins seemed to poke out of his arms, and even his ears had changed to look more aquatic. Seeing all this causes you to stumble back and fall. Juyeon remained in the water though, chuckling over your actions.

“You’re very cute.”

“Wa… what are you…?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“A fish?”

“Okay, that’s just rude.”

“Where am I!? Why did you bring me here!?”

“Easy. We’re not gonna hurt you. We just brought you here while we got everything ready. We’ll leave soon.”

“To where?”

“Home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah. We were gonna bring you a year ago, but your stupid friend took you from us before we got to meet. Kinda wish they were here with you, I wanted to give them a piece of my mind.”

Juyeon growled and revealed sharp teeth, making you scream. You scrambled back and as far away from the water as possible. You had your back pressed against the wall, mumbling to yourself that this was all just a dream.

“You’re not dreaming, and before you get any ideas, there is no way out of this place. Well, not for humans. The only way in and out is through some underwater caves, but you’d need diving gear to go to and from, which you don’t have.”

“How… how did you bring me here?”

“Sangyeon gave you something that would let you breathe underwater for a while. Long enough to get here.”

“The gummies…”

“Yeah those things, I don’t know where he gets them.”

“Just let me go, please.”

“Nope. You got away from us once, and it’s not gonna happen again.”

“Please. I won’t tell anyone anything. I’ll never come back and-”

“We don’t want that.” Juyeon got out of the water, revealing more scales and fins. “You disappearing again is the last thing we want.”

You swallowed nervously. “My… my friends… they’ll look for me…”

“And they’re never gonna find you. No one will.”

“Please…”

You felt tears sting your eyes and start sliding down your cheeks. You closed your eyes and went back to mumbling about how this was all a bad dream and you’d wake up soon. You felt Juyeon approach, but you kept your eyes shut tight. Then you felt a hand on your chin.

“Look at me.”

Juyeon’s voice was so calm and soothing. Despite your fears you began to relax. You slowly opened your eyes, seeing that Juyeon had returned to normal. He had a soft smile on his face, seeming far friendlier than before.

“Just listen to my voice. Everything’s going to be okay. You can go back to sleep, and when you wake up, you’ll be home.”

“… home…”

“You’ll love it.”

Your eyelids felt heavy, and this sudden exhaustion was beginning to take hold. You wanted Juyeon to let you go, but you didn’t have the strength to lift your arm. He kept coaxing you to sleep, and you couldn’t resist for long. Soon returning to that void.

🖤

Once again you woke with a sharp intake of breath, followed by coughing up some water. You recovered quicklier than before. This time you discovered you were no longer in a cave, but what seemed to be some sort of cabin. The walls showed logs, and you were laying in bed. The room itself was mostly empty besides the basic furniture. You slowly got out of bed, avoiding the water you had coughed up. You made it to the door and carefully tried the knob, relieved to find the door unlocked. You carefully opened it and peeked your head out of the room. The halls were empty and quiet. You quickly decided which way to go and quietly snuck out of the room. All you needed was an exit.

You walked down the hall trying to make as little noise as possible. It seemed that no one else was in the cabin, and then you came into what appeared to be the living room. The TV was on, but no one was on the sofas watching. You noticed trees out the window, and another body of water, but you didn’t care for it. There was a door that you figured led out, but taking the front door might not bed a good idea. You noticed another way leading to the kitchen and you figured that could lead you to the back. You moved quickly and made sure no one could see you from the windows. The kitchen was clean and empty, and there was your back door.

You ran over, happy to find it unlocked and you stepped out. The fresh air was so nice, and it seemed that no one was around. Now was your chance, you made it to the trees, being quiet and once there was some distance from you and the cabin you began to run. Surely you’d find a trail or some other signs of civilization soon, but you just needed to get away from the cabin and the others. You ran until you needed to catch your breath, looking around for any possible clues as to where you could go. All you could really see were trees, which wasn’t much help, but at least you had gotten away.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

You screamed and looked back, seeing Hyunjae and Chanhee standing a few feet away from you. Your first instinct was to run, but you immediately tripped on an exposed root and collapsed to the ground. You scraped your knee and screamed again. The two boys came to your side, helping you to your feet. You wouldn’t be running anymore with that injury, and the two took you back to the cabin. Despite running for so long and getting so far, in a few seconds you were back at the cabin, as if you had never gone anywhere in the first place. Even though you were injured you yelled and tried to free yourself, but the boys held you tightly.

“We are trying to help.” Chanhee hissed. “You’re injured.”

“Let me go! This is kidnapping!?”

“It’s not. More like claiming ownership.”

“What?!”

They brought you over to the edge of the dock, having you sit with your legs hanging over the edge, your toes just above the water.. You saw movement in the water and started freaking out, but you couldn’t go anywhere. Moments later Eric popped his head out of the water. He looked similar to Juyeon in his fish form, and that scared you all the more. You tried to pull your legs up but Eric grabbed your injured one, making you freeze. You could feel the tips of his claw pressing gently at your skin. You whimpered and Eric met your eyes.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“What are you?”

“A friend.”

Eric cupped some water in his hand and splashed your wound, cleaning it a bit. Then he pulled your leg closer and kissed your wound. You yelped, but he just chuckled and disappeared into the water. You were confused but then your leg began to feel better, and you noticed your wound was healing. In a matter of seconds your leg was healed, as if nothing had ever happened.

“… how…?”

“Come on, let’s get you back inside.”

The two picked you up and took you back into the cabin. That’s when you noticed there were multiple cabins around, giving the impression this was some other camp. Although there was a waterfall as well that led into the lake the camp surrounded. You were still too shocked to voice any of your questions, so you were easily dragged back inside. The boys plopped you down on the couch, giving you the TV remote.

“We’ll be right back, and don’t go anywhere this time.”

You put the remote down and examined your leg, seeing for sure that there was no cut. You couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t believe any of this actually. You thought back to how you wound up here, remembering you went for a swim with Sangyeon, and then wound up in a cave, and now you were here. You looked out the window, seeing the sun. It was barely reaching its peak, meaning it was morning. It was hard to believe a whole day had gone by since you were last at the waterfall with your friends. They must be panicking and looking for you like crazy. Since you were alone you got up and looked around for a phone or something you could use to contact them. You found nothing, figuring they were probably hiding any means of outside contact.

“I’m pretty sure you were told to stay put.”

Younghoon offered you a smile, leaning against the entryway to the living room. You gave him a shy one in return, feeling like you were caught doing something bad when in reality you hadn’t done anything.

“Relax. Sangyeon wants to talk with you. Follow me.”

It wasn’t a request, but an order. After a moment you followed Younghoon, going up to the second floor and down the hall to the door at the end. He knocked and then gestured for you to go inside. You were kind of nervous, but it wasn’t like you could run away again. You shakily reached for the doorknob and turned it, making your way inside. You walked into what appeared to be a study, seeing bookshelves on the wall and a desk at the center. That’s where Sangyeon sat, staring at his computer and typing. He stopped when you entered, the door closing behind you, and glanced over at you.

“Sit.”

“I could stand…”

“Sit down.”

“… okay…”

You sat down in front of his desk, keeping your legs close together and your hands in your lap. You didn’t dare to raise your gaze, feeling a scolding coming.

“Look at me.” You slowly lifted your gaze. “Good girl.”

“What do you want from me?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“It’s good to finally meet. I’ve gone through a lot of trouble to bring you here. So, let me lay down the rules.”

“Rules?”

“You can’t escape our little camp here. As you saw before, you can run for hours and days but you won’t go anywhere. Our home has magic surrounding its borders that prevent people from leaving or entering without our permission. You also won’t be able to contact anyone outside our home, signals come in, but can’t go out. If you try anything we’ll know.”

“What are you?”

“Hm?”

“You speak of magic like it’s normal, and however you brought me here… I don’t understand…”

“You haven’t figured that out yet?”

“Are you… fish people?”

“That’s insulting.” Sangyeon chuckled. “We’re sirens.”

“Sirens?”

“How do you think we brought you here? A sweet melody to lure you into the water and into our embrace.”

“It… it was you… I wasn’t sleep walking that day… you lulled me into the water… if it hadn’t been for my friend-”

“Quite unfortunate we missed you the first time. Which was all the more reason to be cautious the second time around. We were all so happy when you came back. So we had to make sure you didn’t escape us again. It was nice of your friends to go off and leave you with us.”

“Did… did they even come back…? They wouldn’t just leave me with strangers!?”

“Are you sure? It’s easy for us to put someone to sleep, and you’ve seen what else we can do.”

“You… my friends will look for me! They’d notice I was gone when they got back!”

“They won’t. Who do you think gave them the idea? We took all your things too darling. As far as they’ll remember, you never came with them.”

“… wa… what … why… why me! I didn’t do anything to you! I didn’t even see you at the waterfall a year ago!”

“But we saw you. My boys were very entranced by the beautiful girl playing with her friends. They wanted you for breeding season, and who am I to refuse them.”

“Bree… what did you say?”

Sangyeon chuckled. “I’m certain you heard me. We won’t hurt you, so rest assured you’ll be fine.”

“You’re insane…”

“The boys agreed not to touch you unless the time came. I’m quite curious who’ll break first.”

You were still trying to come to terms with what you had just been told, and make sense of it, but your brain did not want to process. Sangyeon got up from his desk and took your hand, giving you a proper tour of what he kept calling your home. The cabin you were in was the main house, and where your room was. Since it was the biggest, everyone used it as a communal space, although besides Sangyeon and Jacob, the others actually had their beds in the other cabins. The whole camp surrounded the waterfall and the lake it led into, which you had noticed was much bigger than the one you had been to before.

A few docks led into the water, and there seemed to be a little farm area where they grew fruits and vegetables. In all honesty this place looked so beautiful, but it was hard to take it all in when you knew this was your prison. You weren’t really paying attention to the tour, and next thing you knew you were back in the living room, alone. You grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, not wanting to be reminded of the outside world you could no longer get to. Now that you sat in silence you realized you didn’t like it, so you left the cabin. After a few steps you stopped and looked all around. There had to be some way out. From what you understood the surrounding forest wasn’t an option, so that left the water.

You thought back to how you supposedly wound up here, which would mean the water. Your eyes looked to the waterfall, and you remembered getting to the cave behind it back at the other place. There was surely one here too, and that could be your way out. You started to make your way towards the lake. Now that you knew what really had caused your previous fear, you had let it go, having other things to worry about. Although before you could jump into the water you were grabbed. Haknyeon offered you a smile, but you didn’t return it. You didn’t trust any of these guys, especially now that Sangyeon had told you why you were here.

“You wanna help with lunch?”

“No.”

“Come on, you helped before.”

“Yeah, before I knew you were a bunch of psychos!”

“Hey, we’re perfectly sane.”

“Is what an insane person would say.”

“Let’s just go, everyone is waiting for you.”

You didn’t have a choice as Haknyeon dragged you back over to the main cabin, and your strength was no match for his. You resigned yourself to being a complete klutz in the kitchen, and the second you got your hands on a knife you began swinging. Of course it was taken away from you immediately and you were removed from the kitchen.

“I get it, you’re upset.” Chanhee led you outside. “But I swear to you that you’ll like it here.”

“How would I ever like it? You kidnapped me and are holding me hostage!”

“That’s not true.”

“You used your stupid siren song thing to get me here, and I can’t leave, that’s kidnapping and being held against my will!”

“Okay, but this place is great. Your own paradise. It’s beautiful, and you have no job or responsibilities, you can do whatever you want here. And you’re not afraid of the water anymore, so you can swim to your heart’s content.”

“I want to go home.”

“Why? Back to school to work yourself to death for some corporation.”

“Being taken against your will isn’t exactly the best alternative, now is it?”

Chanhee scoffed. “You can fight with us all you want, but you’re gonna change your tune.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

It was obvious you didn’t want company, so Chanhee let you go off by yourself. He told you someone would come find you later when lunch was ready. You waited until he was gone before making your way back over to the docks. The water wasn’t super clear, so you couldn’t really make out how deep it was, but you figured it wouldn’t be bad. You sat at the edge of the dock and then let yourself drop over into the water. You didn’t touch the bottom, so you definitely didn’t go into the shallow part. You kept yourself afloat once you surfaced and figured which way the waterfall was. You began swimming towards it when you suddenly noticed something moving out in the water.

You came to a stop and looked out. As far as you were concerned there were no creatures in the lake, besides the boys themselves. From what you had heard before, all the boys would be gathering at the main cabin, so no one should be out in the water right now except for yourself. Still, you didn’t like this, so you decided to swim back. You got to the dock and pulled yourself out, although you suddenly felt something grab your leg. You screamed and managed to pull yourself free, looking back to see what had gotten you. Yellow slit eyes looked back at you from the edge of the dock. You couldn’t make out who it was until they got out of the water, crawling onto the dock towards you.

“Su… Sunwoo… what are you doing…? I… I thought you were with the others…”

“… pretty…”

You crawled back, nervous that any sudden movements would cause him to pounce on you. While you maintained eye contact you kept moving away, and he followed.

“Sunwoo…”

“… want…”

There was something different about his voice, and his gaze. He seemed more like a predator stalking his prey. A devilish smile adorned Sunwoo’s face, and it sent shivers down your spine. You were scared, and this little game would only last so long. All of a sudden Sunwoo made his move, lunging at you. Your scream did nothing to deter him, and even though you scrambled back he managed to grab onto your leg. In one swift motion he pulled you towards him, and you soon found yourself pinned under him.

“Sun… Sunwoo… let go…”

“… mine…”

Sunwoo buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in, his wet lips against your skin. His arms began to move along your sides, and you realized the claws were gone. That didn’t change your current situation though. You began to squirm, trying to get him off, but he was wet, and kinda slimy. Not to mention he was much stronger than you. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t get him to budge. He began to pepper you with kisses, his legs pushing between yours. You kept fighting until you felt something poking at you down below. Your gaze slowly looked down to see a tent in Sunwoo’s shorts, starting to realize the inevitable.

“Sunwoo, get off!”

Your actions seemed to upset him as he growled and pinned your hands above your head. You stared up at him, seeing his eyes remained the slitted yellow color. He seemed to be reading your expression for a movement before he dove down for a kiss. It was rough, and since he caught you off guard it wasn’t difficult for him to get his tongue into your mouth. Even as you tried to fight him you realized there was a certain taste on his lips. Something sweet with a bit of a kick. Then for some reason you started kissing back, your head feeling fuzzy, followed by this warmth spreading down your body.

When he pulled away you were gasping for air, your vision a bit blurred, but the yellow of his eyes you could still make out. His hands trailed down your body once more, effortlessly ripping your shirt open. You felt hands grab at your breasts, followed by lips sucking on one of your nipples. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you, this dizzy sensation messing with all your senses. You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to verbalize your thoughts, but it just came out as incoherent mumbles. A moment later Sunwoo’s hands were tugging down your shorts and panties. You tried to push your legs together, feeling a chill but he seemed to growl at that. He shoved your legs apart and moved down, burying his face into your center.

You yelled and grabbed fistfulls of his hair. You don’t know if you wanted him off or to go in deeper, but either way you felt something slimy between your folds, making you whimper and squirm. He didn’t tease you for long though, pulling away and climbing on top of you once again. You had no idea when he had gotten his shorts off, but now you felt something else poking at your entrance. In your state it was perfectly logical to reach down and feel this thing for yourself, but the result was very unexpected. Sunwoo was big, bigger than expected, and different. You could feel these ridges along his length, starting to wonder what that would feel like inside you. Although you didn’t have to wait too long.

Sunwoo pressed his lips to yours once more and then you felt something stretching you open. You moaned into the kiss, feeling the slow movement of his length going inside you, every little bump making you whine. You were quiet surprised you could take all of his like that. There was a moment of discomfort as you adjusted to the feeling, practically on the edge of being split in two. You whimpered as the slightest of movement shook your whole body. When he started moving you knew you were going to go insane. Sunwoo was taking in everything, your scent, your sounds, the slight twitches all over your body. He was going to enjoy this.

He wasn’t sure if you were ready, but he didn’t have much patience. Sunwoo pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back into you, over and over again. Your whole body moved with him, shaking and crying out in delight. He played you like an instrument, his giant cock rubbing against your sweet spot at every moment. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, incoherent sounds of pleasure spilling out of you. Sunwoo had your arms pinned above your head with one hand, the other trailing along your stomach, making you twitch. He purposely had his claws out to tease your exposed flesh, loving the reactions he was getting out of you. Every part of you was on fire, and his touch was fanning the flames.

You felt this bundle heat and sensations building up inside of you, well aware of what it meant. You tried to tell Sunwoo, but you still couldn’t do words. Although it seemed he understood your desperate pleas. He let go of your arms and grabbed onto your hips, the tips of his claws digging into your skin ever so slightly. He just needed a better grip to ram into you, his movements becoming erratic as he wanted to see you tremble in pleasure beneath him. You grabbed onto Sunwoo’s arms, mouth hanging open as you reached climax. You screamed out his name, shaking and twitching, getting more stimulation as you squeezed him tightly. Your lips were so inviting Sunwoo divided down to kiss you once again.

You moaned into the kiss, trying to devour him in your own way. He tasted so sweet you just wanted more and more. You didn’t really have a chance to calm down as Sunwoo kept moving, not losing his rhythm. He definitely had more stamina than you, so he took advantage of your sensitive state, building you up to another orgasm and forcing it out of you. Even if you were tired your body still reacted to him, holding him tightly, and letting him do whatever he pleased. You had devolved to a whimpering mess, more of a ragdoll in his arms. Your vision faded in and out, but you still felt every inch of him. The only distinction you could make was when Sunwoo’s movements became sloppy, his hot breath against your ear followed by the feeling of something warm inside you.

Sunwoo rested on top of you, breathing heavily and making low groans, his hips twitching and continuing to move, pushing his seed deeper and deeper into you. He seemed very content, nuzzling your neck, and mumbling sweet nothings. You could only respond with content whines, a ditzy smile on your face. You were floating on cloud nine, and had no idea when you’d come down. Although things did take a sudden turn for you. One moment you were laying on the dock with Sunwoo on top of you, and the next thing you knew you were in the water. The cold water seemed to snap you back to reality and you began to flail, trying to float. You managed to calm yourself a bit, but then something yanked on your leg and pulled you under.

You fought back and freed yourself, not caring to know what was happening and began swimming to shore. Once again your leg was grabbed and you were yanked beneath the water. You thought it was over this time, but you were suddenly grabbed by another force and brought up to the surface. You gasped as you took a breath in, unable to see as your vision was blurred by water. Someone was dragging you to the shore, but you noticed a clawed hand wrapping around your ankle. You could barely make out the yellow eyes staring at you, but that was the least of your concerns. Before you could scream and ear piercing screech filled th air. You slammed your hands over your ears, but it did little to block out the sound.

The hand had let you go and you heard a splash in the water. A moment later the sound disappeared. You took a moment to compose yourself and then realized what was going on. You were sitting on the shore, a few of the boys around you, and others knee deep in the water. They all seemed to be recovering from the sound as well, except for Sangyeon. He was speaking, but you couldn’t really make out his words. Then you began to remember you were naked. You quickly tried to cover yourself, but hands grabbed you and pulled you to your feet. A towel was wrapped around you and then you were swept off your feet. Sangyeon was carrying you bridal style, heading back to the main cabin.

“Are you okay?”

“Wa… what happened…?”

“You tell me.”

“Uh… I…”

“Kidding. Just take it easy, you’re fine.”

“I don’t feel fine…”

“I know.”

Sangyeon took you to your room and let you take a shower, properly cleaning yourself up, from head to toe, and then dressing yourself in fresh clothes. He was sitting in your bed and waiting. You were still a bit unsteady on your feet, and stuck close to the wall, holding onto the furniture. It didn’t take Sangyeon long to notice and bring you over to the bed so you could sit down. You mumbled a small thanks.

“Does your chest hurt? Or anything else besides… well you know.”

“No… but what… Sunwoo…”

“He was the first to break. My money was on Juyeon.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You said you brought me here for… that thing… but Sunwoo-”

“During breeding season a siren goes into a frenzy. There’s only one thing on their mind, and they’ll search for the nearest thing to satiate them. For the most part we stay in the water, but you were nearby, so he took advantage of that.”

“I… I wasn’t in my right mind… I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t blame yourself too much. We excrete a very lovely type of aphrodisiac to make our partners more agreeable. It’s okay to say you enjoyed yourself.”

“Fuck you. That’s not fair.”

“Sunwoo was just the beginning. Although I will apologize for him as he nearly drowned you.”

“Let me guess, he wasn’t in his right mind because of the frenzy?”

“Basically. He wanted to take you back to his cave.”

“What?”

“Why do you think the lake is so big? We all have our own little caves down there. Of course he’d want to take you there, but you obviously can’t breathe under water.”

“No shit.”

“I’ll get him to apologize when he comes back to his senses.”

“Forget that. I want to leave. If that’s what’s gonna happen to me again, I want no part!”

Sangyeon chuckled. “We’ve been over this. You’re not leaving.”

“I’m certain there are plenty of other girls, or boys, who’d be down to help you through this, but not me! You managed last time without me, so leave me out of this!”

“They were very upset last time. Many wanted to chase after you, but it’s not safe to leave the waterfall. I’m not going to upset them again.”

“I don’t care about that! Find someone else, or better yet, another siren! You said it’s breeding season, and I’m not about to get pregnant!”

“A siren can’t impregnate a human, it’s a very rare thing. Which is all the more reason to have you around.”

“Then like I said before, find someone else.”

“They don’t want anyone else, and neither do I.”

Sangyeon came over to your side and pinned you down on the bed. Your heart was racing but you tried to keep your cool.

“You enjoyed yourself, we all know it. So you don’t have to lie and be upset. We heard you turn into a mess out there.”

“… you… you did…?”

“It was music to my ears. You know, we’re all the same down there, although maybe just different sizes. Tell me, how was it? A whole new experience right?”

“…”

“You don’t have to be shy. I know you wanna do it again, and you’ll get to, just be patient. It starts with one, but that’s all it takes to drag the rest of us down. There’s nowhere you can go to escape us, so look forward to that.”

Sangyeon placed a small kiss on your head and excused himself. It wasn’t until he closed the door that you let out the breath you were holding. You felt so hot, aware of the burning in your cheeks. You shouldn’t be into any of this, and you were certain he had influenced you somehow, but you had to focus. They all overpowered you, and the way Sunwoo was acting before, you’d be in major trouble if it was more than one next time. You needed to get out, but the problem now was your leg. There was no way you could make the swim out to the waterfall right now, so there had to be another way.

For the rest of the day you stayed in your room. One of the others brought you food, leaving outside your door. You didn’t want to eat, but you were going to need your strength. You stared out your window towards the lake and the waterfall. Right now the best idea seemed to be to get as close to the waterfall as you could from land, and then swim the rest of the way. The only other problem was to figure out when. At night the water would be very cold, and your vision would be impaired. You figured early morning would be the right time, so it was probably best to go to sleep now. You were quite tired after all.

🖤

It was a bit difficult to sleep, as you kept waking up after a while. At least you didn’t miss sunrise. The cabin was quiet, and you carefully made your way outside. The rest of the camp area seemed quiet, and even the lake was still. You had mapped out your path the day before, so you just made sure to keep hidden and made your way towards the waterfall. When you got to the end of the path you carefully got into the water, making sure no one was around to notice you. Once in the water you cautiously made your way to the waterfall, trying not to let the cold overwhelm you. It would have been worse if it was night time.

You thought back to how you made it to the back of the waterfall with Sangyeon before, although this was a different waterfall so things would be different. In theory it was the same, climbing up on some rocks and carefully making it towards the back of the waterfall. The danger was how slippery the rocks were as they were always coated in water. Still, you managed to make it, feeling relief and quite proud of yourself too. You admired the waterfall for a moment before going into the cave behind it. Sunlight came in through some holes in the ceiling, illuminating your path. You walked down this tunnel until it opened up into a bigger room. You began looking around for a way out, but to your horror there didn’t seem to be one.

You walked around, but there was nothing but rock surrounding you. The only way out was through the tunnel you had come from. This was just a room. There was a small puddle of water at the center, only going up to your ankles. Even the holes in the ceiling didn’t seem big enough for a person, and there was no way you could climb up to escape. You collapsed to the floor in defeat, realizing there really was no way out of this place. You pulled up your knees to your chest, hugging them. You had no idea what to do now, and you certainly had no idea how much time passed. You only snapped out of your daze when you heard someone approaching. You quickly got up, scared for what would happen next.

“How’d you get here?” Younghoon looked you up and down. “I didn’t know you knew about this place.”

“…”

“Ah, did you think there was a way out of here behind the waterfall? That’s cute, but we meant it when we said you weren’t leaving.”

“Just let me go… please… I don’t know how long this breeding season thing lasts for you, but I want out, now.”

“You’re not just here for that. You’ll be staying with us permanently.”

“What!?”

“It would be nice to have someone else around, and we all like you.”

“I have a life! You can’t just-”

“Do you really want to go back?”

“I… I…” You started feeling dizzy. “Uh…”

“You humans tend to live such boring lives. Wouldn’t it be more fun to stay here with us? We can give you everything and more. If you’re having all these pesky thoughts bothering you, I can just wash them away.” Younghoon stepped towards you. “Would you like that? Do you want me to take away all those bad thoughts?”

“Stay… stay back… you…”

“Sh, you know, we come here for some privacy, so imagine my joy finding you here.”

“I… no… no…”

“I’m certain Sunwoo took good care of you, shall I continue where he left off? Did you like the way he felt inside you? I promise I’m just as big.”

“Stop… stop it…”

“That’s not what you really want, is it?”

Younghoon pinned you to the wall, watching you curiously. His eyes had changed to that golden yellow, and a few scales decorated his skin. He gently caressed your cheek, no claws present, but other siren features were.

“How about a little taste, before I spiral down into madness. Strip for me, baby.”

Despite the sorrow of realizing you were trapped, the fear of being caught, none of that seemed to matter anymore. Your head was fuzzy like before, and you felt oddly calm with Younghoon. His words flowed into your head and were welcomed with open arms. When he asked you to strip it just seemed like the right thing to do. You started with your top, slipping it past your head and tossing it to the side. Younghoon helped you with your bra, happily taking in your exposed breasts. You reached down to slide off your shorts and panties, feeling the chill of the cave, causing you to shiver.

“I’ll warm you up in a bit.”

Younghoon stripped out of his clothes. Your gaze took him in, unable to resist running your hands along his chest and feeling his scales. He was wet and slimy, and you quite liked that. He was like a fantasy come true. Fingers wrapped around your chin and raised your gaze, Younghoon capturing your lips in a kiss. It was natural to kiss back, getting another taste of the unknown sweetness. You felt yourself melting into this sensation, moreso when you felt a hand between your legs, teasing your folds. You mewled into the kiss, jumping up a bit when you felt something cold push into you.

“There’s a good girl.”

Even in the cold you felt warm, and it was slowly spreading. Younghoon worked you over with one finger before adding another, his thumb rubbing your little nub in circles, just adding to the stimulation. You were whimpering, the fog in your head already making you lose the ability to communicate. Despite taking things slow, Younghoon had little patience. He pulled his fingers out without warning, grabbing your hips and lifting you up off the ground with ease. You could understand what he was doing, and followed his movements without being told. You wrapped your legs around him, feeling something poking at your entrance before you sank onto it, taking it all at once.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you were suddenly filled to the brim, stretched wide open and feeling those bumps running along inside you. Younghoon was whispering dirty things in your ear, his hot breath making you squirm. Every little movement just sent another wave of pleasure coursing through your body. It didn’t matter that rocks pressed against your back, or that you weren’t entirely in your right mind. At the moment the only thing that mattered was you and Younghoon. Your mouth hung open in silent ecstasy as he provided you with a whole new experience. Gravity played a part in all this as no matter how he moved, you’d always sink down on him to the base, feeling every inch.

He kept his movements steady and it was a testament to his strength. You couldn’t imagine anyone else doing such a thing, but he played his part wonderfully. He didn’t break a sweat as he rocked his hips into you, stealing a kiss from you every now and then. His moans mixed with your own, echoing in the room. You felt hot, like you were burning from the inside out, but it was a pleasurable feeling. Your whimpering became more desperate as you were nearing your climax, and Younghoon took note of this with joy. He took one of your nipples into his mouth, adding to the sweet sensations that were overwhelming you completely.

You ran your fingers through his hair, barely able to whimper his name before you cried out in ecstasy as an orgasm shook your body. Younghoon pressed his lips against your when you came, wanting you to moan into his mouth and get more of his sweet lips. You were so drunk on him that your vision had blurred. A soft voice lulled you into a safe space, telling you to let go and relax. It was so easy to listen and just focus on the nice feeling between your legs, taking care of everything. You couldn’t tell when Younghoon had lost it with you, but you certainly felt something warm between your legs as another orgasm took over and made you scream. At some point you were moved off the wall, soon being laid down on your back and feeling water.

Younghoon assaulted every bit of exposed flesh with kisses, starting to leave bruises and holding back from straight up leaving bite marks. He just wanted to mark you and claim you for himself at this moment. You held him close, your body still moving with his as he was trying to make this feeling last for as long as he could. You were both desperately needy, and there was no one to get in the way. Younghoon was mumbling against your skin, but you couldn’t make out his words. At one point you could see those golden eyes stare down at you with hunger and then everything went dark.

🖤

You gasped awake, looking around in a panic before realizing you were back in your room in the main cabin. You breathed a sigh of relief, but when you tried to get out of bed you collapsed to the floor. Your legs were sore like never before, and as you tried to stand you noticed all the marks on your arms. The best you could do was pull yourself back up onto your bed. The sun was nearing its peak and you could barely remember your morning. You knew you had gotten up to get to the waterfall, but from there things seemed to blur. You were pulled from your thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

“You’re awake.

“Huh?”

“I was a bit worried when Younghoon brought you back to shore and you were half conscious. I guess he really did a number on you.” Sangyeon chuckled. “He certainly broke the rules.”

“Rules… I…”

“Sh, I’m sure he already messed with your memories in the hopes of not getting in trouble, but that’s not gonna work. Here. I brought you some medicine, should heal you up.”

“Thanks… I guess…”

Sangyeon offered you some pills and a glass of water, which you took. You laid back on the bed, just wanting to go back to sleep after whatever happened.

“You’re really not gonna let me go… once this is all over, right?”

“You won’t stop with that, will you?”

“What if I say no?”

“What are you gonna do right now? Run away? You can’t even stand. I’m lucky Younghoon didn’t try dragging you into the water. I won’t be able to stop them all when they go into a frenzy.”

“Won’t you be in the mess with them?”

“Exactly my point.”

“Amuse me then… how do I go back?”

“The only way out is through an underwater tunnel. You’ll never be able to reach it, even if you could breathe underwater, you can’t move as fast as us. Besides, there are multiple tunnels down there, you won’t find the right one.”

“How many people have you trapped here before?”

“No one. My boys like their space.”

“Wait, so I’m the first person you’ve ever brought here?”

“Yup.”

“What about other sirens?”

“Like I said, my boys like their space.”

“So… why… what’s so special about me?”

“I don’t know. You’re beautiful, intelligent, sexy. They don’t always agree on things, but you piqued their interest, mine as well. There’s no harm having a nice little pet around. It’ll make this place feel more like home.”

“I’m not some pet!”

“Yet you like it when there’s something nice and big between your legs, acting like a little creature in heat. You can say whatever you want about our influence, but we’re just bringing out your desires. Rest up, I don’t know when they’ll snap.”

You didn’t want to argue anymore, needing to go over the fact there was no way out. Well, there was, you just couldn’t access it. This place was supposed to be home now. You stared out the window, zoning out a bit as you took it all in. Everything was really beautiful, as if it was a work of fiction. It really wouldn’t be bad to live here, but you had your own life. Now that you thought about it, you realized there wasn’t exactly much to return to. There was school, getting your degree in the hopes of building your life. You had some friends, but given what Sangyeon said, you were probably a missing person’s case that had no explanation. You weren’t sure there was anyone who would seriously look for you, regardless if they had their memories messed with or not.

When that came to mind you shook your head. There was a chance none of these thoughts were your own, but something they had planted. Still, you couldn’t resist the idea to just let everything go and stay here, live in peace and happiness. Even if you had been trying to figure out a way to escape, you couldn’t deny your time here had been nice, in multiple ways. It kinda felt like time didn’t matter, and even if you were being difficult, the boys were just waiting for you to warm up to them. The funniest thing was that this whole situation was probably someone’s wildest dream and you were fighting it so hard. You took a breath and laid down in bed. You had a lot to think about, but you definitely needed to rest as well.

🖤

You inhaled softly as you regained consciousness, seeing that it was dark out. Your stomach grumbled and you realized you hadn’t eaten all day. Although the problem was you weren’t so sure you could get up and walk. You had no idea where the others were, or how you would even reach them. So you took a breath and got up. You were still unsteady on your feet, but you could more or less stand. You stumbled your way to the door and out into the hall, using the wall as support and making your way to the kitchen. You were doing well, but one wrong step cause your legs to give out. You nearly collapsed to the floor, but were caught by someone before you hit the ground.

“I thought you were gonna sleep the whole day away.” Hyunjae joked. “You okay?”

“Fine…”

“You must be hungry. We have some leftovers saved for you.”

“Thanks…”

Hyunjae brought you over to the kitchen and had you sit at the table. He heated up some food for you and brought it over. Your hands worked just fine, but he insisted on feeding you.

“I’m not a baby.”

“You’re my baby, now open wide.”

You were hungry, so you weren’t going to fight him much. You ate and afterwards he gave you some medicine. That’s when you finally noticed the marks on your arms were gone.

“How…”

“You think we’d just hurt you?” Hyunjae scoffed. “Come on. We can’t break you so easily.”

“Do you… like me… or am I… just some toy…?”

“Hm… when we saw you at the waterfall a year ago we were entranced by your beauty, as if you were a siren yourself. You seemed so joyous and happy, your smile so bright. We were curious to know what you were like. We tried to bring you here before, but your friend got you out of the water before we could get to you. We didn’t realize that would traumatize you, sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just thought I was insane for a year.”

“I could just make you forget that.”

“I’m certain you’ve already messed with my memories.”

“Maybe. Only good things, I promise.”

“What happens… after…?”

“After what?”

“… well… after… the season…?”

“Oh, you mean that. Well, I guess we’ll see, but the idea certainly isn’t to discard you or anything like that. We waited a long time for you.”

“Hm.”

“Alright, if you’re done, I’ll get you back to bed, you’re probably still tired.”

“Yeah.”

Hyunjae tucked you in for the night, and you found it easy to fall asleep. You probably shouldn’t have eaten so late, but you needed something in order to keep up your strength. You slept until morning, waking to the sounds of birds chirping. You had expected someone to wake you, but there was no one at your bedside when you opened your eyes. You didn’t think much of it and got up, realizing your legs were much better. Once you washed up you headed out of your room, but the cabin was eerily quiet. Perhaps the others were still asleep, and you didn’t want to bother anyone.

So you made your way out of the cabin and towards one of the docks, sitting at the edge and letting your legs dangle. A morning view like this was something you could get used to. The sunlight danced on the surface of the lake in such a way that made it sparkle. The sounds of the waterfall filled the air, providing a soft melody. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to sleep outside one of these days. You weren’t even sure what the stars looked like at night. You were lost in your own mind, thinking of all the possibilities when you suddenly heard shouting.

“Get away from the water!”

“Hm?”

You looked back to see Sangyeon running towards you. Before you could make a move to stand something wrapped around your leg and pulled you down. You screamed, but managed to hold onto a loose board in the dock. Sangyeon came over to your side, grabbing you and letting out an ear piercing screech. You yelled, but you couldn’t do anything to diminish the noise. Whatever was holding onto you let go and Sangyeon pulled you up, getting you away from the water’s edge.

“Are you okay?”

“What… what was that?”

“Sorry, some of the boys have been in the lake since yesterday, and I know what that means.”

“Ah… how… how many…?”

“Eight of them, and I have no idea how much longer the rest of us will last.”

“Is it a bad thing to fight it?”

“Partially, but I have to make sure they don’t hurt you.”

“That’s gonna be hard to do if they’re goal is to drag me in the water.”

“Let’s just get back to the cabin.”

Sangyeon got you back to safety, checking on your leg to make sure it wasn’t bruised or sprained. Thankfully you were fine. The two of you prepared breakfast, but you could tell Sangyeon was anxious. It was starting to make you feel uneasy, so you tried to distract yourself.

“Earlier… when you… screeched… do you do that often? I thought sirens had these beautiful voices that they use to sing.”

“Are you saying my voice isn’t beautiful? We’ve sang for you before.”

“With the intention of manipulating me… but with the type of persuasion powers you have, I guess your voices must be divine.”

“Precisely. As for the other thing, I only use that when I need them to back off and I know they won’t listen to reason.”

“I see… well, it really hurts.”

“Imagine how they must feel with sensitive hearing.”

“Right… uh… how old are you?”

“Don’t you think that’s mean to ask?”

“Uh, well… I don’t know… you look like you’re in your twenties… all of you really…”

“I’ll just say we’re older than that.”

“So you guys don’t age?”

“Not really.”

“Are you immortal?”

“Why? Are you gonna start looking for a way to kill us?”

“Just wondering…”

“Then I’ll leave you guessing.”

“Meanie.”

You both ate breakfast together, but you weren’t really hungry. Sangyeon noticed and encouraged you to eat, saying you needed your strength. Although that wasn’t entirely motivational.

“What… what’s gonna happen to me…?”

“Honestly. You’re gonna black out.”

“How long is this supposed to last?”

“Days.”

“Days! I… how are you not supposed to-”

“Easy. We’re not all gonna pounce on you at once. We have each other to mess with, and believe me, no one is gonna be allowed to hurt you.”

“You can’t promise that when you’re talking about going into a frenzy, all of you! I can’t do anything to defend myself!”

“Not that you’d want to.”

“Shut it!”

“Just saying.”

“I… I need to think…”

“About what? The outcome is the same either way.”

“Yeah, thanks for that reminder.”

You left the table and stormed off to your room, slamming the door behind you. Once you were alone you let out a breath, sinking to the ground. The most annoying part of all of this was the tingling sensation between your legs. As messed up as this all sounded, you hated the bit of excitement that was slowly starting to course through you. Just one of those boys was able to mess you up, so you couldn’t imagine what would happen to you if they all got their hands on you. More than anything though, you were confused on how this was all supposed to go down. The others were in the lake, and you certainly couldn’t breath underwater. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a knock at your door. You quickly got up and opened it.

“Hey, Jacob, where were you for breakfast?”

“Busy. Mind if I come in?”

“Uh, sure… is everything okay?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” Jacob sat down on your bed. “How are you feeling? Better now, I’d hope.”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Good. So how about we go for a swim.”

“Sangyeon told me to stay out of the water for now.”

“He’s just saying that, come on, the two of us can have some fun.”

Jacob got up and came over to you, taking your hands in his. He had a sweet smile on his lips, but something felt off.

“Jacob, are you okay?”

“Fine. Just so happy you’re here with us this time.”

“Right… I actually need to clean up and-”

“You don’t need to lie with me. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Trust me. Take a deep breath, and just relax.”

“Uh…”

“I want to take you somewhere special. Follow me.”

“… okay…”

Jacob pressed a kiss to your cheek and led you out of the room, but was quickly interrupted. Sangyeon separated the two of you, pushing you back into your room and shutting the door. A moment later you snapped out of your daze, realizing what had just happened. You quickly locked the door, stepping away from it. You knew time was running out, and you had nowhere to hide. Your heart was racing and you were trying to think straight, but your thoughts just drifted from fear to excitement, and everything in between. Somehow you managed to calm your mind, sitting on the floor against the bed, wondering what you should do.

“Y/n, open the door.”

You heard the knob turn, followed by Sangyeon’s voice. You quickly stood, but hesitated as you reached to open the door. It had been a while since you last saw Sangyeon, and you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to see him right now.

“Open up.”

“I’m okay… Jacob didn’t do anything…”

“That’s good, but I still need you to open the door.”

“Why? We can talk like this.”

“Don’t be silly. Open the door and let me in.”

“No.”

“No?” Sangyeon chuckled and slammed his fist against the door. “This isn’t a debate sweetie. Let me in, or I’ll force my way in.”

“Sangyeon… you… you’re scaring me…”

“Good… then you know where we’re at. You know you can’t run, so open the door before it’s too late!”

“I don’t-”

Another loud bang against the door startled you. It was instinct to look around for some escape route, but it was pointless. Next thing you knew the door swung open. Sangyeon calmly walked in, his golden eyes finding you immediately. You thought to run, to get past him, but he caught you so easily.

“Relax. You’re perfectly safe.”

“… sangyeon…”

“Come.”

Sangyeon led you out of the room and outside, walking towards the lake. You noticed the sun setting, realizing it was nearly dark. You hadn’t noticed so much time passing. Although as you got closer you began struggling against Sangyeon.

“… wait…”

“Sh, everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

You came to the end of the dock, and your gaze turned to the water. You could vaguely make out shapes swimming in the water just below the surface. As you were distracted Sangyeon slipped another one of those gummy spheres into your mouth.

“Eat it.”

Sangyeon’s gaze on you was so soft, mixed with the sweet melody of his voice, whatever fears you had before were all washed away. You ate the gummy as he asked, somewhat having forgotten what the effects were before it came back to you. Your eyes went wide as you struggled to breath, but Sangyeon pulled you close.

“You’re so beautiful.”

He pressed his lips to yours, stealing away what little breath you had left, and letting you fall into the water. You immediately went under, no longer struggling to breathe. It took a moment for your panic to stop, for the air bubbles to clear your vision. You could see everything around you clearly, but you weren’t looking in the right direction. You made a move towards the surface, only for something to grab your leg and pull you down. When you looked to see what it was, a multitude of yellow eyes stared back, and then your world cut to black.

🖤

You inhaled sharply, only to find yourself coughing up a bit of water. Your vision was a blur, yet you moved to get on your hands and knees. Although the problem was your legs were incredibly sore, and you felt bloated. Still, you pushed through that and looked around, finding yourself at the center of a unique scene. You recognized where you were, the cave behind the waterfall, and you weren’t alone. The rest of the boys were scattered around you, all seeming to be in some shifted form or another, and not really wearing clothes. That’s when you noticed all you had on was a large t-shirt.

You began to examine your body, seeing all the purple markings on your exposed skin, a few cuts here and there as well. You were also in water, realizing there was far more here than last time. You tried to stand, but your legs weren’t really working, and you slipped, falling on top of one of the boys. He had been sleeping a moment ago, but was startled awake when you hit him. He quickly pinned you down, seeming ferocious before recognizing you and calming down. Juyeon had a ditzy smile on his face and leaned down to nuzzle your neck.

“My baby’s awake…”

“Uh… what… what happened…”

“You’re the best.”

“Ju… Juyeon…”

“Sh. Forget about the bad things and just stay…”

“… stay…”

“Good girl, our good girl.”

“… good…”

“Very good.”

Yellow eyes seemed to fill your vision, making everything spin. You couldn’t help the childish smile that adorned your lips. Despite the water around you felt warm, and safe. Juyeon stole a kiss from you, filling your mouth with a sweet taste, further reminding you everything was okay. This was where you needed to be, and where you would remain forever.

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