#Jesse Aarons Jr

[d3ad4ndg0ne]

you wanna cook crystal meth?

[texaschainsawmascara]

goals

[deadpresidents]

What do you think about RFK Jr possibly making Aaron Rodgers his VP?

It just amazes me that RFK Jr. thinks that his best options for running mates are two of the only public figures in America who might be considered even more goofy conspiracy theorists than he is -- Aaron Rodgers and Jesse Ventura.

Aaron Rodgers is so thin-skinned and whiny that he can't even do Pat McAfee's podcast regularly without bitching about what somebody said about him. Imagine someone like that running for office? Oh wait...we've been dealing with that since 2015 and this country actually elected that guy President in 2016.

I don't think Rodgers will be the choice. If he was, he'd basically have to quit the NFL and I think he still wants to play. He's 40 years old and missed all of last season with an injury, so he couldn't take another season off just to lose a race as running mate to a fellow conspiracy theorist on a third-party ticket.

If I had to bet, I think RFK Jr. is just trying to throw people off the scent and he's going to pick Tulsi Gabbard. Honestly, Ventura would probably be his best bet -- he's a former Governor who is almost certainly the most successful third-party candidate in American history. And Ventura would be much better on the campaign trail than Rodgers or Gabbard (or RFK Jr., really). But any of those tickets might as well call themselves the Wack Pack party.

Has anybody mentioned yet that this 2024 election cycle is going to be a fucking drag? Calling this country's political scene a "shitshow" is unfair to both shit and shows. Whomever this third-party ticket's nominees are should show up at their campaign rallies in a clown car.

[pixie-13-13]

[moviemosaics]

Cocaine Bear

directed by Elizabeth Banks, 2023

[blueiscoool]

Cocaine Bear 2023

[considerourknowledge]

Consider the Presidential Ticket of Smug and Arrogant

Anti-vaxxer idiot and family disappointment Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is considering another self important anti-vaxxer as a running mate in his longshot independent bid for the presidency. The New York Times reported Tuesday that Kennedy is considering his insufferable hiking buddy and NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers, or former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura as a potential vice president. Rodgers, who thinks he knows more than everyone about everything, is definitely an interesting choice for Kennedy's running mate, but both men share the same delusions about how great and important they are, despite actually being harmful, toxic assholes. "I've talked to Aaron about it. We sync up on so many things. I really like how we have the same problematic views on a number of issues. He's also really smug and arrogant like me," said Kennedy when asked about his plans for his campaign.

[natsu12291]

Jimmy & jesse

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

DOES A BEAR SNORT IN THE WOODS?

Now playing in the multiplexes:

Cocaine Bear--This shocker has at least as much right to claim "true story" status for itself as Fargo or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There really was a Cocaine Bear: back in 1985, an American black bear was found dead in the Chattahoochee National Forest in northern Georgia, just south of the Tennessee line. The poor creature had OD'd, having ingested more than 30 kilos of cocaine, valued at tens of millions of dollars.

The stuff had been dropped from an airplane by a smuggler who then died himself in a parachuting mishap. The unfortunate ursine, dubbed "Pablo Eskobear," was stuffed by a taxidermist and ended up on display in a shopping mall in Kentucky, where it reportedly still stands.

The movie, directed by Elizabeth Banks from a script by Jimmy Warden, is set in 1985 and uses some real place names and at least one real person's name (the smuggler's). But it's still a load of gleeful b.s., a highly entertaining sick joke. Unlike the real animal, the movie's bear--arguably the newest addition to the stable of Universal Monsters--turns into a drug-crazed spree killer, mauling and dismembering hikers and park personnel, as well as the drug traffickers that enter the forest in search of the lost product.

Cocaine Bear is as violent and gory as any big-studio movie you're likely to see. But it isn't scary, and isn't meant to be; the splatter is played entirely for gruesomely slapstick laughs. Indeed, the exuberance with which the blood and brains and guts fly is the central recurring and escalating gag.

Except for a single mom (Keri Russell), searching the woods for her daughter and the daughter's friend, most of the major characters are scoundrels or cretins or both, though not necessarily unlikable scoundrels and cretins. All of them are broadly played caricatures, so Banks invites us to leave our empathy at the door, take a cathartic break from compassion and hoot at the horrors which befall them. I indulged, and so did the audience with which I saw the film.

The title character, generated through some reasonably seamless combination of virtual and practical effects, has a guileless personality that contrasts with the bloody mayhem. Indeed, you're more likely to feel for the blameless beast than for most of the humans.

The cast is nonetheless excellent, even if most of them are not employing ten percent of their talent. I've long thought that Russell is one of the more underrated and underutilized lead actresses now in movies. I also don't understand why Alden Ehrenreich hasn't become a bigger deal; he's comically muddled yet sympathetic as an elaborately bereaved drug operative. So is O'Shea Jackson as his weary partner, Aaron Holliday as a dimwit would-be mugger they encounter, and Isiah Whitlock, Jr. as a cranky detective.

The film was one of the last in which the late Ray Liotta appeared. He's in his usual strong form as Ehrenreich's father, the heartless local boss of the drug dealers. It's not a rich enough role to be a worthy swansong, but it's a good performance, and the film is dedicated to him. The great Margo Martindale nails every line and facial expression as a hard-up park ranger trying to get the attention of a naturalist (Jesse Tyler Ferguson). Maybe the best of all are Brooklyn Prince and Christian Convery as the two kids, who get across a genuine affection behind their mild, familiar ragging and posing and their dares of each other. They, along with Russell, offer us somebody to unambiguously root for.

Banks has a lot of fun evoking '80s-movie atmosphere, not only with the costumes and cars and posters and overheard pop songs but with her direction. From the full opening credit sequence to the leisurely camera movement to the driving synthesizer score by Mark Mothersbaugh, the film is as much a throwback to the decade in which it's set as last year's Top Gun: Maverick, and the response to both of those films suggests that maybe today's audiences wouldn't object to a return to that style.

[babyjujubee]

Alden Ehrenreich, Elizabeth Banks, O'Shea Jackson Jr., Keri Russell, Brooklynn Prince, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday and Kahyun Kim attend the Los Angeles premiere of "Cocaine Bear" on February 21, 2023.

[rookie-critic]

Cocaine Bear (2023, dir. Elizabeth Banks) - review by Rookie-Critic

What to say about Cocaine Bear? It is schlocky, it takes awhile before the film really kicks it into high gear, the CGI on the bear is goofy, and while some of the acting is very, very good, some of it isn't that good, and I loved it. This is a movie where everyone on set was clearly having a ball the entire time, and that fun spirit leaks over into what you see on screen. The jokes land, the gore is plentiful and nasty without being too gross-out or too real (again, the CGI work isn't exactly Avatar-quality stuff), and sure, the bear looks silly, but it should look silly. Anyone saying that they wish the bear looked better is either a) a liar, or b) someone who hates fun. The whole vibe of the film is that of a cartoon version of an 80's slasher B-movie and, for the most part, it really works.

The acting in the film, outside of a couple of the more minor characters' performances, is outstanding. Not only do you have the late, great Ray Liotta in his final film appearance, but you also have Keri Russell, Alden Ehrenreich, O'Shea Jackson Jr., and Margo Martindale all giving great performances. However, and I mean this as no disrespect to any of the amazing actors I just mentioned, but none of them even hold a candle to the scene-stealing ability of Christian Convery. That kid is, other than maybe, MAYBE the bear, the funniest thing in the film by a country mile. From the second he shows up, it seems like every line that comes out of his character's mouth is pure comedic gold, and that doesn't let up until the credits start to roll. I've been aware of Convery since his turn as the titular character in Netflix's Sweet Tooth, and I was aware that he was an incredible young actor from that alone, but I had no idea just how funny he could be. Another high point of the film is that it doesn't shy away from the ridiculousness of its premise, and leans into it in the best, goriest way that it can, à la Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. It really feels like a bad 80s slasher mixed with the cocaine equivalent of a stoner comedy, but the kind of bad 80s slasher that you secretly really enjoy because everything that's happening, especially the gory deaths, are creative and well executed (pun definitely intended). I won't go into details of any specific thing, because more than half the fun of the film is staring, jaw dropped and eyes wide, at the pure blissful horror that is unfolding in front of you.

It's not all sunshine and cocaine, though; the film wants to be a cult classic so bad that it still falls prey to some B-movie problems. Firstly, the story is a little too boilerplate and basic for how much time the film spends setting it all up, and it causes a majority of the first act to be very slow. It's not the worst thing in the world, it manages to keep you engaged and holds a couple of the film's funnier moments (one in which the two main children find one of the bricks of cocaine), but when compared to the insanity that kicks off in the film's second and third acts, it is pretty boring. Also, there are a few sequences that feel poorly edited, mostly in the film's final act. It seemed like there were last minute decisions made to cut scenes out of the film, and then last-last minute decisions were made to somehow cut them back into the film. There's one flashback scene in particular that felt incredibly out of place to me. So much so that it honestly reminded of something along the lines of a Family Guy cutaway. I also could have used a bit more of Isiah Whitlock Jr.'s character, but that's just because he's fantastic in everything he's in.

Cocaine Bear isn't perfect, I won't even venture to call it great, but it was a fantastically fun distraction. It revels in its stupidity, it revels in its gory moments, and it revels in the fun it knows everyone on screen and everyone in the audience is having. A purely fun, harmless, hilarious, coke-addled roller coaster ride.

Score: 7/10

Currently only in theaters.

[gameofthunder66]

-watched 7/10/2023- 3 [1/4] stars- on Peacock

Cocaine Bear, 2023

Dir. Elizabeth Banks

[letterboxd-loggd]

Cocaine Bear (2023) Elizabeth Banks

May 28th 2023

[jmunneytumbler]

They Finally Made a Movie Out of the 'Cocaine Bear'

They Finally Made a Movie Out of the 'Cocaine Bear'

Cocaine Bear Gonna Cocaine Bear (CREDIT: Universal Studios) Starring: Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Ray Liotta, Christian Convery, Brooklynn Prince, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday, Kristofer Hivju Director: Elizabeth Banks Running Time: 95 Minutes Rating: R for A Trail of Terrifyingly Bloody Drug-Fueled Destruction Release Date:…

[ramascreen]

COCAINE BEAR - A Look Inside Featurette

On a rampage for blow and blood. Meet COCAINE BEAR in this newly released featurette! #CocaineBear is in theaters February 24. Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has…

[iamgonnagetyouback]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩ ᴍʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢꜱ ✩°｡⋆˚⁺

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ᴍɪꜱᴄᴇʟʟᴀɴᴇᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ - harry styles, shawn mendes, timothee chalamet, aaron hotchner, spencer reid, elijah mikaelson

°❀⋆ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴇʀᴀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ.ೃ࿔*:･ - harry potter, ron weasley, fred weasley, george weasley

₊‧.°.⋆ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ ʙᴏʏꜱ⋆.°.‧₊ - mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire, draco malfoy, tom riddle

✩₊˚.⋆ᴘᴏʟʏ ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀꜱ⋆⁺₊✧ - james potter x sirius black x remus lupin x peter pettigrew (+ lily evans)

✧ ೃ༄ ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀꜱ *ੈ✩ - james potter, sirius black, remus lupin

✧ ೃ ꜱᴋɪᴛᴛʟᴇꜱ ༄*ੈ✩ - regulus black, barty crouch jr., evan rosier

⋆.ೃᴡᴏʟꜰꜱᴛᴀʀ & ᴊᴇɢᴜʟᴜꜱ࿔*:･ - sirius black x remus lupin and james potter x regulus black

✧˚ ༘ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴘᴏᴇᴛꜱ ꜱᴏᴄɪᴇᴛʏ ⋆｡˚ - neil perry, charlie dalton, todd anderson, knox overstreet, steven meeks, gerard pitts

༘⋆ ɢɪʟᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢɪʀʟꜱ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ - jess mariano

ˡᵃˢᵗ ᵘᵖᵈᵃᵗᵉᵈ 「¹⁷.¹¹. ²⁴」