#Jeff right now is not the time to be silly and quirky wake up

[sugar-champagne]

More Angst 😈

He was so starved for love attention and affection he’s willing to do anything

Even if it’s to his own detriment so and a pretty girl offered him a handful of pills from his mother’s cabinet and alcohol he downs it without a second thought.

If only he knew the people who cared about him

He’s an idiot, and does stupid things but that’s what I signed up for 

[killian-whump]

COLIN DREAM! :D

Okay, so this was a really long, really detailed and totally WILD dream, full of lots of celebrities (both real and completely nonsensical) and I was even a bit of a celebrity myself :D I’m only going to write up the parts about Colin and anything that’s required to help you understand those parts, because this beast of a dream was LONG and weird. For example, I spent a big portion of the dream dating Bruce Willis, who eventually proposed, but said “Will you marry me, Jeff?” and I was like *record scratch* “My name’s not Jeff. But THIS GUY’s name sure is!” and I pulled Jeff Goldblum, like, out of nowhere and then Bruce was like, “He’s perfect!” and they ran off together. I mean, just remember, this whole thing is a product of your pal KW’s subconscious mind. It’s probably best not to ask too many questions... I know *I* don’t...

Okay! So necessary background. The dream was taking place at what was essentially a County Fair of some kind. I was a minor local celebrity, mostly because I had a tiny bit role in something that got me associated with Brucie Poo (I kept calling him that? I dunno, don’t question it). I also had a stalker of sorts, who showed up periodically, claiming she was me and causing trouble. Also, there were some... size issues. Like, sometimes everyone was the same size, but then there’d be these windows of time where everyone morphed into different sizes based on how popular/famous they were.

So I knew Colin was at the fair, but I didn’t see him anywhere. He was listed as being an attendee, but there weren’t any events listed with him in it, so I figured he was just attending as a “normal person” and not as a “star” and someone just decided to add him to the attendee list to take advantage of his presence. But, you know, I was everywhere at this fair, sticking my nose in everything, lol, as one tends to do when it’s one’s own dream and they’re basically the star of it. So, of course, I found that rapscallion...

HE WAS LITERALLY WORKING ONE OF THE BOOTHS. Wtf, Colin. Why are you like this, even in our dreams??? It was a music/memorabilia stand, so he was selling vintage LPs and CDs and photos/posters of celebrities - mostly musicians. And he’d lightened his hair to a medium brown, and was clean-shaven and kinda styled his hair a bit different, so for some reason I thought he was “lying low” or something. So I was at the booth and he came ‘round and I was like, *quiet, conspiratorial voice* “Hi, Colin” and he was like, *equally quiet, conspiratorial voice* “Hi” and that was all, but he was ringing people up and, like, singing under his breath, kinda absent-mindedly, and he was just so chill and relaxed and had such a warm vibe, I was just... soaking it all in like a big, grinning idiot. I think I might’ve spooked him though, because he eventually skedaddled to the back of the booth, where I noticed HELEN was at, as well, and I was like “ahhhh precious Holin in my dream, I am blessed” (I tend to always be semi-lucid in my dreams, so I often know it’s all a dream).

Anyway, so while Colin was busy working literally hiding back there, I perused the wares a bit and found some EPs of The Enemies that nobody knew about, and Colin was on the liner art of them and I was like, “Oh, I better buy these...” and I was looking for more of them, because I didn’t want to miss any of them, but they weren’t filed correctly. Someone had put them in the B section - some alphabetized under “Band, The” and some sorted under “Boys, The” and it took me a minute, but then I was like, “COLIN, NO. COLIN, WHY DID YOU DO THIS. COLIIIIIIIN. You’re the only one here who calls them “the boys” or “the band” - like, you have to alphabetize them by their actual name, what, why are you like this, I love you so much” and I was almost crying, because it was so hilarious and adorable and I literally could not handle it, because it was such a Colin thing to do T_T

So then this totally super Irish fellow comes up to me, and he’s like, “Can I help you?” and I was like, “Wellllllll, I’m kinda just hanging around, because I was hoping to get to properly meet Colin and maybe get an autograph.” and the guy was like, “Oh! Oh, you’re a fan of our Col! Okay, alright, we all thought you might be a nutter...” and he was like, “Lemme go tell him.” and meanwhile, I’m here thinking, “I mean, all of Colin’s fans are basically nutters, so you weren’t wrong... but, you know, we’re good, well-meaning nutters...”

So I wait for someone to come back. Either the Irish guy or Colin. And I wait. And I wait. And somewhere in the midst of this, everyone reverted to their “fame” size and I got super big and everyone working the booth and shopping at the booth stayed small, and I was like, “Oh, good, now I can easily find Coli- Where the fuck did Colin go?” And I’ve got my magnifying glass and I’m like, “OH MY GOD, you’re kidding me, Colin, why are you still tiny?! You’re WAY bigger than I am!” and he’s like, “No, no, I’m just a normal guy” and I’m like “YOU’RE FUCKING RIDICULOUS, IS WHAT YOU ARE.” And then I felt bad for literally spying on him with a magnifying glass, so I put it away and I was just stood there, shaking my head, because WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?!

Then everything’s back to the same size again, and I’m perusing the wares some more. Suddenly, there’s Colin on a stage, and he’s introducing some band-I-don’t-know to come onto the stage, and he says “There’s a fan of mine here that I’d like to recognize...” and then he invited me on the stage to introduce the band, and just as I open my mouth to do so, my stalker suddenly does it instead, and nobody even noticed it wasn’t actually me. I was pissed, but I didn’t want to ruin Colin’s nice gesture with a scene, so I just... frowned, but let it slide. Besides, at least my stalker knew who the band was. But then Colin inerrupts the band and the song they’re playing and he’s like, “WAIT. Something’s wrong here. I wanted to let [my name was Angela in the dream - as part of my semi-lucidity, I’m often “role-playing” as people who are somehow me, but also Not Me, because it’s fun to be different people :)] do this, but someone jumped in and did it for her. So since that didn’t work... How about I sing a song I just wrote for her?”

AND I’M LIKE, OH MY GOD, WHY DON’T YOU T_T

And he starts singing this ridiculously adorable song all about ME and how awesome I am, and I’m like “I better remember EVERY detail of this, because I gotta tell everyone about it when I wake up, because this is RIDICULOUS.” And, guys, it was adorable. It was, like, this quirky sort of ode to everything about me, but done in this tongue-in-cheek way that was just kind of sassy and silly and very flattering and I was like, “YOU ARE THE CUTEST TEENY TINY MAN IN THE WORLD, I WANT TO PICK YOU UP AND PUT YOU IN MY POCKET, LIKE LITERALLY” and Helen was like, “Please don’t.” and I was like, “Okay.”

So then his song was over, and Helen was teasing him about this one stanza, because she thought he was complimenting himself in it, and she was like, “So... you think you have kissable lips, huh?” and he was like, “No, no, I was singing about her, not me. It was just a line, yeah? She’s famous and known for that,” and Helen was like, “Right, but you sang it like it was about you... are you sure it wasn’t about you?” and he was like, “No, no, shut it, nooooooooo” and it was the cutest thing ever? Blessed Holin teasing T_T

Then Colin got wind that I wanted an autograph, but didn’t have anything for him to sign. I mean, I had a Tic-Tac box, lol, but who asks someone to sign a Tic-Tac box?! So he disappeared off somewhere, and it took me a second to spot him, digging through the Celebrity Photos box at the booth for a photo of himself to sign, and I was like, “WHYYYYYYY are you like this?” all over again, because I could’ve done that myself, but he wanted to surprise me T_T

So I’m standing there, waiting for him to come back, and Helen’s there, looking lovely. She’d darkened her hair a bit to a nice light brown, and was in a 50s style A-Line dress with a stylish necklace and I was silently fangirling over her, because she was SO pretty and lovely, and I wanted to say hello, but didn’t want to make her feel weird. But then she looked like she might walk away, so I spoke up and said, “Are you Helen?” And of course I KNEW it was Helen, but I didn’t want to freak her out. Well, she gets a little suspicious/wary and goes, “Could be. Why?” And I played it cool kinda, and said, “Well, if you ARE Helen, I just want you to know that I really respect and admire you, and think you’re just lovely, and I know it must be hard to have to “share” your husband with the world, and I know you’ve had some bad experiences with Colin’s fans in the past, but I want you to know that he has a lot of fans who just think the world of you and are really rooting for you and Colin in every way, and we just want you two to be happy and healthy and we wish you both all the love in the world.” and she seemed touched by it and gave me a hug <3 BLESS

Then Colin came back, and he had a really nice picture of himself, and he signed it for me and everything, and then the fair was closing, or at least their booth was closing, so there were goodbyes and hugs and then I was all alone in their booth, because apparently they all just fucked off and LEFT THE ENTIRE THING BEHIND, with all the albums and photos and everything, and that is NOT how you run a profitable business, Colin.

Anyway, the dream continued, and I turned the booth into an Irish Ski Slope for some bizarre reason, I mean, the Irish part was to honor Colin, but I’m not sure where/how the whole skiing thing came into it. I don’t know how to ski? And then Brucie Poo came back around to rekindle our romance, or at least appreciate my breasts some more (he was a big fan, apparently), and there was no more Colin... (woe).

And now I have to go eat something, because I’m STARVING!!!

Hope you enjoyed my dream :) I sure did! <3