#Jay Ostrich

[swampythesweetsketch]

Jay: Mom, Dad, I'm getting married.

Edna: Oh! We're so proud of you!

Ed: Who's the lucky girl, son?

Jay: Well you see...

A giant ostrich comes into the Walker's trailer, wearing the yang half of Jay's yin pendant.

Everyone: ...

Jay: Now, hear me out-

Edna: Honey, that is a bird.

Ed: A big bird.

Jay: IT'LL ALL MAKE SENSE TONIGHT I PROMISE.

[somanypolls]

i did my best to include lots of birds. sorry if i missed your favorite or miscategorized it! i am no bird expert

[kateammann]

daily birds week 11!

canada jay + common ostrich

european starling + snowy owl

gray catbird + great blue heron

chilean flamingo

[thirdlotusprince3]

Jay: What the heck were you thinking?

Kai: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Jay: You released OSTRICHES!

[magnetothemagnificent]

Why aren't ostriches kosher? A case-study for Kashrut laws

Unlike mammals and fish, the Torah does not provide a list of signs that identify a bird as kosher or non-kosher. Instead, it provides a list of non-kosher birds in Leviticus 11:13-19, and they are:

נֶּ֙שֶׁר֙- Eagle

פֶּ֔רֶס- Vulture (or Kite)

עׇזְנִיָּֽה- Black vulture (or Osprey)

דָּאָ֔ה- Kite (or Kestrel)

אַיָּ֖ה לְמִינָֽהּ- Falcon (or Vulture) of every variety

כׇּל־עֹרֵ֖ב לְמִינֽוֹ- All varieties of Raven

בַּ֣ת הַֽיַּעֲנָ֔ה- Ostrich

תַּחְמָ֖ס- Nighthawk (or Jay, or Goatsucker, or some species of Owl)

שָּׁ֑חַף- Gull (or Sparrow hawk)

נֵּ֖ץ לְמִינֵֽהוּ- Hawks of every variety

כּ֥וֹס- Little owl (or just Owl)

שָּׁלָ֖ךְ- Cormorant (or Gull)

יַּנְשֽׁוּף- Great owl

תִּנְשֶׁ֥מֶת- White owl

קָּאָ֖ת- Pelican (or Starling)

רָחָֽם- Bustard (or Magpie)

חֲסִידָ֔ה- Stork

אֲנָפָ֖ה לְמִינָ֑הּ- Herons of every variety

דּוּכִיפַ֖ת- Hoopoe

עֲטַלֵּֽף- Bat

The Torah repeats this list in Deuteronomy 14:11-18. As you can see, most of the species on this list are uncertain in translation (which is why I offered alternate translations), although you can see the general idea. But, we know 100% that ostrich is explicitly forbidden in the Torah, we don't even need to derive anything. The birds that are kosher are generally regarded as kosher based on unbroken tradition that they are (they are cases of birds no longer being considered kosher by most Jews despite them once being considered kosher, because the tradition was broken, but we'll get to that later).

Of course, there are many more birds species besides those listed, and very early on the Sages figured signs of kosher and non-kosher birds based on the list. First, as you can see, many of the birds on the list are birds of prey, so any birds of prey are automatically non-kosher. That was easy for them to figure out.

But what about anatomical signs?

Well, they figured that out, too. (Chullin 59a)

A bird that claws its prey and eats is non-kosher (such as birds of prey).

A kosher bird has a digit seperated slightler higher behind the other three toes, a crop, and/or a gizzard that has a membrane on the inside that can be peeled. Below is a comparison of raven feet and a parrot's foot, versus duck feet and chicken feet. On the left, the raven and parrot's feet have all their toes branching out of the same level. On the right, the duck and chicken feet's back toe is slightly elevated and seperate from the other toes.

A bird that perches on a wire with two toes in the front and two in the back is non-kosher, as demonstrated below by a close-up of a parrot's feet while perching. You can see that there are only two toes in the front, while the other two are in the back.

So, in order for a bird to be considered kosher, it must not be on the list of non-kosher birds provided in the Torah, must fulfil the anatomical descriptions outlined later by the Sages, and must have a tradition of being kosher.

Israel is the largest consumer of turkey meat per capita. This is because Jews eat a lot of turkey, including kosher-keeping Jews. But.....turkey is a New World bird! How can there be a tradition of turkeys being kosher if the ancient Israelites would have never encountered turkeys???

So this is where it gets even more interesting. When turkey was first introduced to Jews, it became widely popular. It's thought that Jews first started eating it because of its similarity to chicken, and assumed it must be kosher. Eventually, the Rabbis realized they had to make a decision about the status of turkeys. If they ruled turkeys as non-kosher, then all the Jews who had already been eating turkeys would be ruled as eating non-kosher, which y'know as a Rabbi you really don't want to declare a whole bunch of Jews as doing the wrong thing. So, most Rabbis relied on a passage in the Talmud stating that a non-kosher animal cannot become pregnant by kosher animals (Bekhorot 7a). Since turkeys and chickens can hybridize, Rabbis relied on this passage to declare turkeys as kosher. There are still some Jews today that don't regard turkey as kosher, but it is accepted as kosher by the majority of world Jewry and is a very popular meat.

What about peacocks? Well, peafowl are mentioned numerous times in the Tanakh and in Jewish history as being eaten, but today, the Orthodox Union does not certify them as kosher. Peafowl are genetically related to other kosher birds and have all the necessary signs.....but they are no longer considered kosher by major Orthodox opinions. This is because the last record of peafowl being considered kosher and eaten by a Jewish community was in the mid 19th century. The tradition was broken, and therefore peafowl aren't eaten or certified, despite the fact that they technically are kosher.

Now here's where is gets fun- somehow, the distinctions between kosher and non-kosher birds fit really neatly within our modern understanding of bird phylogeny. Most kosher birds fall under the Galliformes (chickens and friends) and Anseriformes (ducks and friends) Orders, which are more closely related to eachother than they are to any other Orders, and make up the Superoder Galloanserae. The only kosher birds that don't fall into that Superorder are pigeons and doves, but pigeons and doves are already considered a little different by the Sages- they're the only birds that can be used as offerings in the Temple. This is yet another example of how well the ancient Jewish animal classifications fit with out modern phylogenetic understanding, it's super cool. Because grebes and gallinules look a lot more similar to ducks than chickens do, but nope, they are not kosher while ducks and chickens are, and indeed, ducks and chickens are more closely related to each other than ducks are related to grebes and gallinules.

So, in conclusion- ostriches aren't kosher because

1) They are listed among the non-kosher birds in the Torah

2) They are missing toes- their toes are not in the configuration outlined in the Talmud, and in fact they only have two very large toes, as you can see below:

3) They do not have a crop (all ratites do not have crops)

Hope you enjoyed this long-winded way of answering why ostriches aren't kosher :)

Further Reading:

A Peafowl by any other Name

What Are the Signs of a Kosher Bird?

The Liberated Bird: Let’s Talk Turkey

[chic-a-gigot]

La Mode nationale, no. 9, 6 mars 1897, Paris. No. 14. — Toilettes d'intérieur et de visites. Bibliothèque nationale de France

(1) Costume de visites en lainage vert amande. Corsage plat, orné sur le côté par un large galon ouvragé descendant jusqu'au bas de la jupe, même galon sur le dos, forme princesse; sur le corsage, grand col de guipure de Bruges, col montant en galon avec ruche au-dessus; manches Empire. Jupe princesse, ornée de galons. Chapeau rond en feutre noir garni par une draperie de satin, montante, du milieu de laquelle s'échappe une plume d'autruche en aigrette.

(1) Visiting suit in almond green wool. Flat bodice, decorated on the side with a large ornate braid going down to the bottom of the skirt, same braid on the back, princess shape; on the bodice, large Bruges guipure collar, high braid collar with ruffle above; Empire sleeves. Princess skirt, decorated with braids. Round black felt hat trimmed with a rising satin drapery, from the middle of which escapes an egret-shaped ostrich feather.

Métrage: 9 mètres lainage grande largeur.

—

(2) Toilette de satin bleu pâle Liberty. Corsage bouillonné recouvert par une dentelle blanche pailletée, avec nœuds de satin à l'ouverture et sur les épaules; manches Empire, ceinture de satin; jupe boutonnée sur le côté, tout unie et plissée derrière.

(2) Liberty pale blue satin toilet. Bubbled bodice covered with glittery white lace, with satin bows at the opening and on the shoulders; Empire sleeves, satin sash; skirt buttoned on the side, all plain and pleated behind.

Métrage: 15 mètres satin Liberty bleu pâle.

—

(3) Toilette d'intérieur. Corsage formé d'entre-deux de valenciennes et de chantilly noir, mis sous ceinture rose; col semblable avec ruche au-dessus; manches Empire formées d'entre-deux; transparent de taffetas rose sous le corsage. Jupe de velours noir forme nouvelle.

(3) House dress. Bodice made of valenciennes and black whipped cream, placed under a pink belt; similar collar with ruffle above; Empire sleeves formed from in-between; transparent pink taffeta under the bodice. New shape black velvet skirt.

Métrage: 10 mètres velours noir.

—

(4) Toilette d'intérieur en faille bleu bluet. Corsage plat recouvert par un boléro en broderie de jais garni par un volant plissé et coquillé en mousseline de soie rose; manches petit ballon retenues par un nœud semblable, col montant avec nœuds de velours derrière. Jupe princesse remontant devant en pointe sur la poitrine.

(4) House dress in bluet blue faille. Flat bodice covered by a jet embroidery bolero trimmed with a pleated and shell ruffle in pink silk chiffon; small balloon sleeves held in place with a similar knot, high collar with velvet bows behind. Princess skirt rising in front to a point on the chest.

Métrage: 13 mètres faille bleu bluet.

—

(5) Toilette de visites. Corsage en mousseline de soie noire plissée, sur transparent vieil or sous empiècement de soie brochée vieil or avec petit volant en mousseline; bretelles semblables, col de satin noir, ruche de mousseline. Manches Empire avec jockeys de soie brochée. Jupe de satin noir unie. Toque de satin vieil or, composée d'un fond mou et de choux faisant la passe, et surmontés par une grande plume et une aigrette.

(5) Visiting ensemble. Bodice in pleated black chiffon, on transparent old gold under yoke of old gold brocaded silk with small chiffon ruffle; similar straps, black satin collar, muslin ruffle. Empire sleeves with brocade silk jockeys. Plain black satin skirt. Old gold satin hat, composed of a soft background and cabbages making the pass, and topped by a large feather and an egret.

Métrage: 10 mètres satin noir.

—

(6) Toilette d'intérieur (jeune fille). Corsage de mousseline en soie paille plissée. Boléro en lainage vert grenouille brodé en galon à plat et faisant grand col. Jupe tout unie avec galon sur les côtés, manches Empire.

(6) House dress for a young girl. Pleated straw silk chiffon bodice. Frog green wool bolero embroidered in flat braid and making a large collar. Plain skirt with braid on the sides, Empire sleeves.

Métrage: 9 mètres lainage grande largeur.

—

(7) Toilette de visites. Corsages cuirasse en satin blanc recouvert d'applications blanches; sur le côté, volant coquillé en application en point d'Angleterre, manches Empire en velours gris souris, jupe semblable. Toque de velours gris souris composée de coques doubles sur le devant, fond mou et double oiseau de Paradis en dessus.

(7) Visiting ensemble. Plastron bodices in white satin covered with white applications; on the side, shell flounce in English point appliqué, Empire sleeves in mouse gray velvet, similar skirt. Mouse gray velvet hat made of double shells on the front, soft bottom and double bird of paradise on top.

Métrage: 12 mètres velours gris souris.

—

(8) Toilette d'intérieur en lainage, genre tailleur. Corsage-veste en tissu à carreaux beige et marron; grands revers de drap beige, boutonnés sur des jockeys semblables encadrant un gilet brodé en appliques, col drape montant, jupe unie plissée derrière.

(8) House dress in wool, tailor-made. Corsage-jacket in beige and brown checked fabric; large lapels of beige cloth, buttoned on similar jockeys framing an embroidered applique vest, high draped collar, plain pleated skirt behind.

Métrage: 9 mètres lainage beige grande largeur.

—

(9) Toilettes de promenade. Robe princesse en drap satin suède, corsage croisé à la taille, revers de drap blanc entourés de velours dalhia, encadrant une chemisette brodée, col montant rabattu, manches Empire, jupe plissée derrière avec bas garni par un feston de drap blanc. Petite toque de satin bleu formée par une passe bouillonnée, et grande aigrette sur le devant.

(9) Walking ensembles. Princess dress in suede satin cloth, crossed bodice at the waist, white cloth lapels surrounded by dalhia velvet, framing an embroidered shirt, turn-down high collar, Empire sleeves, pleated skirt behind with hem trimmed with a white cloth festoon. Small blue satin hat formed by a bubbled pass, and large egret on the front.

Métrage: 7 mètres drap satin.

—

(10) Toilette de fillette en lainage bleu pervenche. Corsage bretelle ouvert sur un empiècement brodé en drap paille, ruche autour du cou; manches Empire, petits velours bleu foncé sur les hauts poignets, ceinture drapée, jupe courte avec broderie dans le bas.

(10) Little girl's toilet in periwinkle blue wool. Strap bodice open to an embroidered straw cloth yoke, ruffle around the neck; Empire sleeves, small dark blue velvet on the high cuffs, draped belt, short skirt with embroidery at the bottom.

—

(11) Toilette d'intérieur en satin aubergine. Corsage cuirasse, avec col montant et ruche au-dessus; sur le corsage, trois rangs de guipure blanche coquillée jusqu'à la taille. Même guipure sue les épaules; ceinture de satin paille, nouée en longs pans sur le côté; manches Empire, jupe unie plissée derrière.

(11) House dress in aubergine satin. Breastplate bodice, with stand-up collar and ruffle above; on the bodice, three rows of white shell guipure up to the waist. Even guipure sweats on the shoulders; straw satin belt, tied in long sections on the side; Empire sleeves, plain pleated skirt behind.

Métrage: 14 mètres satin aubergine.

—

(12) Toilette d'intérieur en lainage orange. Corsage court, mis sous ceinture de soie orange et verte, grands revers et draperies au-dessus, en soie verte encadrant un plastron rayé orange et vert, et retenu par un nœud sur le devant, ruche de dentelle autour du cou, manches Empire; jupe plissée derrière, tout unie et cerclée dans le bas par vingt-cinq petits galons de laine noire.

(12) House dress in orange wool. Short bodice, placed under an orange and green silk belt, large lapels and draperies above, in green silk framing an orange and green striped bib, and held by a knot on the front, lace ruffle around the neck, Empire sleeves; skirt pleated behind, all plain and circled at the bottom by twenty-five small braids of black wool.

Métrage: 9 mètres lainage grande largeur.

[witchyfemking]

🌹🐉Queen/Mother Lilith master-post 🐍🦇

DISCLAIMER

There are many people saying that working with Queen Lilith is closed, id ask that you please go to the last link. A Jewish content creator goes into detail about why 1.) That's false and 2.) Why claiming this is actually antisemitic.

I understand that this deity may hold a negative context to different people/cultures(i.e. people of Jewish culture)/faiths etc. Please be respectful and mindful. Both the people and the divinity have the right to respect. Just because a divinity/entity has been the best thing in the world to you, doesn’t mean that’s the case for someone else(vice versa). Thank you for your consideration.

Mother Lilith is a divinity that I hold very dear. She has been a big help to me and has guided me in my journery of self love and reparenting myself.

Lore/mythology (briefly summarized)

Lilith originally was the first wife of Adam; made from the same primordial matter as her counterpart by the one who created her. She has left the garden in anger because she refused to lay under Adam; Lilith wanted to be seen as Adams equal but he refused. God sent angels to take Lilith back to Eden at Adam’s request. She was located near/in/at the Red Sea. Her children had been slain because of her refusal to return. ( I have heard conflicting info from different sources but I’ll recall what I think is to be more accurate at this point). Some of the fallen angels (a big figure being Lord Lucifer) had made themselves acquainted with her and they had gained each others’ trust. This is the point where Lilith had became a demon and was at least set on the path to becoming a highly ranked Infernal deity(if not at this point already). Lilith at some point after this whispered empowering thoughts into Eve during her dreams; leading her to eat the fruit.

Lilith also has an aspect tied to the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu.

Signs/Symbols of Queen Lilith(some i’ve personally experienced as well):

Snake imagery

Birds( robins, cardinals, blue jays, doves, owls or any corvid/black bird) I’d like to mention that she left me a robin who had passed, cause she knew I’d give it a proper burial.

Witnessing any of her other sacred animals (mentioned below) or frequently seeing imagery of them

Me and other devotees of hers have known her to send really animal that’s black as signs

rose imagery

sudden interest in her

sudden yearning desire to explore oneself/identity

speaking up/ standing up for yourself in circumstances in which you normally wouldn’t

for uterus owners; in my personal experience she had gotten terribly frustrated that i wasn’t noticing her so she started affecting my ‘moon cycle’. I experienced irregularities, increased pain and moodiness. I also got much more fatigued during my time of the month in the time she was trying to get my attention. She may or may not feel the need to do something of this fashion to get your attention; My only assumption that she did so in my case is because I was extremely oblivious. However I highly implore you discuss things with your doctor before concluding that this is the cause.

You may notice the wind howling louder

Vampiric/Succubus imagery/energy

Draconic and/or primordial energy

Energy of water or the ocean

Feeling of not necessarily one certain element (maybe all of them together)

feelings of a motherly energy

dreams/visions of red or dark haired woman( i’ve honestly had her appear to me as blonde). She may be a witch, possibly a queen. She could be protecting you during the experience ( if you’re on her good side ofc)

Sacred animals of Queen Lilith

Snakes

Dragons

Hyenas

Cats of various kinds ( domestic, wild, especially with black or dark coats)

Ostriches

Spiders

Unicorns

Owls

Goats

Bats

What does Queen Lilith specialize in? What can she help you with?

taking back your power

shadow work ( specifically the feminine side of the side)

tapping into/ welcoming your dark feminine energy

welcoming dark femme energy into your life

dark femme workings

defends women/femmes and children who’ve suffered abuse(especially s3xually)

Improving sexual relationships

asserting independence

support in women/womxn’s/femmes rights

fighting oppression/sexisim placed on women/fem identifying people by the patriarchy(or in general)

assistance in gaining respect and/or recognition for contributions

exploring/awakening sexuality (especially if you need assistance with you libido)

sex magic ( more specifically feminine dominance)

Assistance with menstrual magic/spells/rituals

Help in any women/female health issues ( menstrual issues, moods swings, feritility, MtF/FtM etc.)

( i recommend you be treated by a medical professional along with the last point; mundane before magical; magic/spirituality shouldn’t be used in place of medical treatment, simply as support.)

Correspondences/ Offerings

Herbs/Plants/Scents:

Belladonna (POISONOUS)

Nightshade (POISONOUS)

Mugwort ( still use with caution)

Sandalwood(Red + White)

Patchouli

Rose

Jasmine

Lotus

Dragon’s Blood

Cinnamon

Olibanum

Camphor

Myrrh

Jasmine

Frankincense

Amber

Saffron

Crystals:

Onyx

Fire opal

Diamond

Ruby

Obsidian

Topaz

Red Jasper

Red Carnelian

Black Moonstone

Black tourmaline

Jet

Garnet

Clear quartz

Food/Drink:

Chocolate ( Especially anything Dark and/or spicy )

Lime

Pumpkins/ Gourds(idk if gourds are edible tho, but to a deity it doesn’t matter lmao)

Red velvet sweets

Chocolate cake

In my personal experience, she loved these Sriracha Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes I used to be able to get.

Spicy foods

Apples

Pomegranates/Pomegranate juice

Colors:

Black

Reds (Especially blood red or velvet tone)

Purple

Orange

Gold

Magenta

Dark pink

Silver

Dark Grey

Time/Days:

Wednesday

Friday

Witching hour (either Midnight or anytime 3-4 am)

Dark/New Moon phase

Beltane Sabbat/May Day ( sexual theme of the holiday)

Oct. 24 ( some sources claim this is the day Lilith left Eden)

Feb 29 (on leap year. Woman are known to break traditional norms during this time)

Miscellaneous:

Empress (Tarot)

High Priestess (Tarot)

Moon ( Tarot)

Strength (Tarot)

Any Queen Card ( More Specifically to my UPG, Swords and Wands suits)

Air and Fire are her main elements. However, she does not limit herself to one specific element, she has traits of all.

Vampiric/Succubus energy

Draconic/Primordial Energy

What is she like?

To me, Lilith is very much like a mother. Im sure you could probably guess by how I addressed her in the beginning of this post( which I call her Mother Lilith for personal reasons). She very much holds the energy of a firm mother who cares very much for her children. Lilith is very much stern when she feels the need, but knows when you need her to be gentle. Many times she has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me. If you show her the decency and respect she deserves, she will give it to you in return. If she sees you as her child (or holds you dear in anyway) she will go to distant lengths to protect you or to show your abusers not to mess with you again ( at times on her own accord). There are times where she made things difficult for people who wronged me on her own(probably a lot more I don’t know about). Mother Lilith is extremely supportive and will be there when needed, but she will not coddle you. She will not baby you. I see a lot of practitioners say “ she wont hold your hand” that’s true in a sense. Yes there are things you need to face alone, but a mother wont deny holding your hand if needed, she just wont do things for you. She will empower you to do things with independence. Lilith is definitely the kind of mentor to give you a rude wake up call when you’re not acting like yourself or doing things that wont benefit yourself or others. She is not afraid to be mean and wicked with you if need be.

Lilith’s energy generally feels airy and fiery. She carries herself regally and a sense of pride. Like i’ve mentioned, she doesn’t necessarily tie herself to one element, I’ve felt energy of all elements come from her, I assume this comes from her shapeshifting nature.

Sources and links

My own personal experience and UPG

Lilith Queen of the Night

Lilith and Witchcraft

Lilith: The Demonic Paradise Wiki

Lilith ( Occult world entry)

Tumblr users entry on Queen Lilith (i’ve honestly had a rocky history with the author of this post, I hadn’t realized who this was until after I recorded the information, but I still am going to give them credit where it’s due because it’s only right and their post gives solid information)

https://occult-world.com/lilith/

[unofficialdigby]

JULY BIRTHDAYS

July 1: Curt the Cranky Bear

July 2: Agent S the Peppy Squirrel

July 3: Blaire the Snooty Squirrel

July 4: Apollo the Cranky Eagle and Wilbur the Dodo Pilot

July 5: Samson the Jock Mouse and Reese the Re-Tail Alpaca

July 6: Mira the Sisterly Rabbit

July 7: Bree the Snooty Mouse and Viche the Normal Squirrel

July 8: Jeremiah the Lazy Frog (Jerimiah was a Bullfrog) FISHING TOURNEY DAY

July 9: Static the Cranky Squirrel and Huck the Smug Frog

July 10: Mott the Jock Lion and Toby the Smug Rabbit

July 11: Victoria the Peppy Horse and Filly the Normal Horse

July 12: Olive the Normal Cub and Kapp'n the Kappa Captain

July 13: Twiggy the Peppy Bird

July 14: Dizzy the Lazy Elephant

July 15: Caroline the Normal Squirrel

July 16: Frita the Sisterly Sheep

July 17: Jay the Jock bird and Beppe the Professional (also bird) RV Painter

July 18: Croque the Cranky Frog

July 19: Nibbles the Peppy Squirrel and Pascal the Stoner Otter

July 20: Yuka the Snooty Koala

July 21: Prince the Lazy Frog

July 22: Chow the Cranky Bear BUG-OFF DAY

July 23: Elvis the Cranky Lion

July 24: O'Hare the Smug Rabbit and Rex the Lazy Lion

July 25: Peck the Jock Bird and Nat, Chameleon who originally ran the Bug-Off and Flick's Dad

July 26: Curly the Jock Pig

July 27: Erik the Lazy Deer and Ketchup the Peppy Duck

July 28: Truffles the Peppy Pig that did not get typo-ed as peppa three times

July 29: Lionel the Smug LIon

July 30: Frank the Cranky Eagle

July 31: Grizzly the Cranky Bear and Julia the EXTRA TRANS Snooty Ostrich.

[deepdisireslonging]

Backstage Spender

The Reader works for the Penguin as a dancer. Undercover, Dick Grayson comes in at Jason’s request for a case. He’s distracted more than once in the process.

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Dancer!Reader

Warnings/Promises: canon-level violence, erotic dancing

Word Count: 2750

Note: This is the first part of the Summer Playlist Series! If you enjoy it, reblogs and comments are super appreciated. And keep an eye out for the next four songfics. Enjoy!

Song: “Big Spender” by Peggy Lee

Working for The Penguin wasn’t the safest thing to do in Gotham, but it was one of the best paychecks a girl could get. The Iceberg Lounge had great insurance (needed for when backstage negotiations broke down), dental, and quarterly bonuses. And because the club money was supposedly kept separate from Mr. Cobblepot’s other dealings, you could accept a paycheck without guilt. 

The music pulsed and thrummed as the busiest hours of the night reached their peak. Soon, you’d have to join your coworkers. You were part of the grand finale: a striptease involving large feather fans. (Everybody ignored the fact that ostrich feathers didn’t match Mr. Cobblepot’s usual aesthetic.) You would also have the last dance before the finale. Until then, you and the other dancers helped booze up the patrons. Money exchanged hands at every table for drinks, light dinners, and other ventures you ignored. What you couldn’t ignore was the handsome figure sitting close to the dance floor. 

“Isn’t that one of the Wayne boys,” your coworker asked. “He’s sitting right on your corner.”

Another girl joined your spot by the bar. “You’re gonna show off for him, right? Get all of his daddy’s dough so you can really enjoy your vacation this weekend.” She gasped at your hesitation. “You should! Look at him. Big smile, big pockets. Shake every cell you got-“

“Yes! Get it, girl!”

With a groan, you turned away from him. “He’s just a normal customer.”

“A first-time customer.” She grinned as both of your friends nudged you at the same time. “Give him a show he’ll never forget.”

You looked back. What could it hurt? He watched the rest of the lounge’s bustle with such delight, maybe he would be delighted by a personal show. “I’ll think about it.” With a huff, you lifted your tray of drinks to the sound of your coworker’s continuing persuasions. 

By the stage, Dick Grayson gently held his head on his palm. Underneath his hair, he pressed a com-link deeper into his ear. “Calm so far. What exactly are you looking for, Jay?”

“Some weapon big-wigs should walk in sometime before the main show, then disappear into the back while everybody else leaves.” Jason tsked over the coms. “Whatcha worried about? Your reputation?”

Dick glanced to the side at another table. Money passed over the top, while a small package passed underneath. “Perhaps. Gordon could retire tomorrow in the Mayor’s good graces if he raided tonight. You are keeping an eye out for cops, right? I don’t need to start a wrap.”

“The only cop around there is you. Now keep your eyes open.”

Dick rolled them instead. Again, he glanced at his watch. There wasn’t much time left. Maybe Jason had the meet-up time wrong. Or the day. Or the month. One could never tell-

Blurred by the echo of the room, the stage host announced the last performance before the big finale. 

Dick took a deep sigh as another song from before the 60’s started to play in the very modern setting. He sat up straight as a pair of large broad shoulders walked through the far doors. He sat up even straighter when the shimmer of silver and purple drew his gaze to the center of the stage.

The bar bolted to the floor at the end of the stage was your baseline. You strutted to it, eyeing the men in the front row. At the first roll of the trombone, you sank to your knees. That jump-started the hooting. And really caught the eye of your main target. You maintained holding his gaze. As Peggy Lee’s voice described her beau, you leaned back against the bar, readying for your first series. He watched you circle the pole, eager as anyone in the room to see you climb it. As the trombone trilled again, you began to spin. 

“Wouldn’t you like to have fun, fun, fun?” You leapt off the pole, walking around the catwalk to twirl your bare legs in front of the patrons. “Let me show you a-“ you bumped your hips in time with the music, “good time.”

As the chorus set in again, you dismounted the stage and made for his chair. At first, he seemed hesitant, looking around at the other patrons. Then your shimmering body held his attention. “Hey big spender… spend a little time with me.” Gently, you stepped between his knees and turned away. Glancing over your shoulder, you were delighted to see his hands twitch against his thighs. Instead of reaching for you, he slid a wallet out of his pocket. 

But before he could pull out a single bill, your song sped up, signaling the end. He hungrily watched you walk away. Green fluttered onto the edge of the stage, but you were already twirling around the pole. For the last note, you spun as fast as you could, dangling back by your knees. To applause, you did your best to catch the money people threw at your outstretched hands. You did a quick set of bows around the stage, collecting the larger bills people held up. 

The Wayne man held up a one hundred bill. With a wink, you let your hand trail over his to claim it. Damn, if it wasn’t the end of the night, you’d offer him the private show he deserved. Instead, you slipped backstage to change costumes. 

Dick was speechless. Maybe it was the atmosphere. Maybe it had been the glitter of your costume. But he was thinking about finding you after the show when an irritated voice interrupted his thoughts.          

“Earth to Nightwing?”

Dick shook himself. Eying side to side, he noted everyone around was too busy watching the stage to notice how flustered he was. “Yeah, what?”

“Where’d they go?”

“Who- oh. They, uh, they’re-um-“

Jason groaned. “You lost them? You lost them!”

Dick stood as the finale’s music began. “I didn’t lose them. Had to keep my eyes forward to keep my cover. Will you calm down?” He walked over to the bar, leaning against it to have a better view of the room. Quickly he scanned the tables. The targets were not visible, meaning they must be backstage. “They headed back, probably to a business room. Give me a minute, and I’ll have an in.” He located the stage door just as the music began to swell again. 

On stage, feathers fluttered left and right, creating a wave of cover for everyone to walk out. You tried to catch sight of your biggest tip, finally noticing him against the bar. You tried to wink, but the choreography spun you away. By the time you’d spun back, he was gone. Was he running away from you? Or maybe heading to his car before the exit rush? Deflated, you finished the rest of the number and left the stage with a smile that evaporated once you hit the wings. All around you, your coworkers flitted from one side of the small dressing room to the other collecting their things. Some would go home together to tiny apartments. And some would go home with a new acquaintance met during the night. 

You’d go home alone. 

Stuffing the last of your things into a bag, you walked out into the hall. Engrossed in your phone, you didn’t hear the scuffle until you bumped into it. 

The back doorman had the Wayne son by the neck, pinning him to the wall. Any second now, it looked like he was going to knock his lights out. 

“What are you doing?” You rushed over, tugging at the bouncer’s arm with no effect. “Since when do we beat up patrons?”

“Since when do I just let boys walk back here when you girls are going home?” The guard pinned you with a hard eye up and down. You hadn’t really changed out, opting for a simple black silk wrap dress on top. “Since when does the boss let you take costumes home?”

You’d forgotten about that rule. Quickly, you reached out to try and tug the Wayne to yourself. “He’s with me.” 

The bouncer let go of his neck at least, though keeping a hold on the front of his shirt. “That true, kid?” 

Dick gulped in air, only partially for looks. “Well,” he swallowed thickly, “she did invite me to spend some time with her-“ 

“Is he paying?” 

“Oh, yes.” Enthusiastically, you nodded and managed to rip him out of the guard’s grip.

“Hmm.” With a huff, he nodded at the doors that led to the private rooms. Convinced that’s where you’d go, he left for the bar.

Both of you sighed in relief. 

You recovered first. “So, why were you back here?” Noticing his gaze drifting down your chest, you pulled the silk over your cleavage. “Well? Why’d I stick my neck out for you?”

“Right. Ah- I’m not actually back here for you.” Like a nervous child, he reached up to run his hand over the back of his head. “I’m looking for a friend- an ex friend- who might be giving something of mine to a new friend of his. Do you happen to know where the office is?”

“Maybe.” Crossing your arms, you bit back a grin to see his shoulders slump. “How much cash you got on you?” 

“What?”

You rolled your eyes. “After you snoop, you’re gonna need an out. And since our large, grumpy friend is under the impression that I’m doing an extra session, you need to pay for the dance you’re gonna get. How much cash you get?”

He winched. “Not enough. You guys take card?” 

Was this guy dense? Or just naive? You looked at him. “Yeah. But I don’t take it you want anybody knowing you’re here. There’s an ATM by the bathroom. It ID’s as a coffee shop across town so guys don’t have this place on their bank statements.” 

“Brilliant,” he said, impressed. “I’ll, ah, go do that now and meet you back at… the rooms.” 

At first, you headed to the private rooms. But before the door could close, you stuck your head out. Instead of the direction towards the ATM, your new headache was walking down the hall towards the boss’s office. With a sigh, you removed your shoes and followed him. 

Dick kept an eye out for any more guards but made it to the ornate door without any more problems. From his pocket, he took out a small device. He knelt, feeding it under the door and tapping his ear com. From inside the office, he heard everything he wanted to. And Jason did too. 

“Finally,” Jason said. “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry. I had a shadow. And then a necklace,” he rubbed his neck. “But are you satisfied?”

”Yeah. I’ve got enough. Get outta there.”

Before Dick could say anything else, Jason was gone. Hissing into the com didn’t bring him back, so Dick assumed his exit would be without back up. Even then, based on what he heard… Dick gathered up his tech. Maybe after they left he could-

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. It spun him around, bringing him face to face with a guard bigger and grumpier than the last one. 

“Wohoo-“

The guard turned. Then dropped after a punch to the jaw. 

You stood on the other side, massaging the ache in your wrist. “What? I’m a Gotham girl. What were you expecting? A Metropolis waif?”

Dick grinned. He was about to thank you when the door creaked. Fast as lightening, he grabbed your wrist and tugged you into the shadows. No one came out. And the guard was hopefully low enough to be invisible to the peep-hole. Penguin didn’t have cameras around the office. Can’t be indicted on hacked cameras if they don’t exist. 

With a nudge, you motioned behind you to the back hallway. You waited until there was a reasonable distance between you and the office before pinning him to the wall by his lapels. 

“I thought you were getting money for our cover?”

He shrugged. “I lied. I’ve already got the money.” He shifted. “Got a Gotham grip too. Ready to-“

You pressed against him into the shadow of some stage crates. The guard you’d knocked out walked by rubbing his chin. He looked like he was headed to the bar. 

“We’d better go. Come on.”

It was the longest, most silent sprint of your life. You didn’t breathe again until the private door was between you and the hallway. You made him sit down in the ‘throne’, as your crew called it, and shed the silk before turning on the lights. Without music, you swayed your hips and leaned into his face. 

He swallowed thickly, suddenly reminded why he wanted to come back while not on Jason’s time. “Thanks for your help. I can just pay you if-“ He gasped as you turned, grinding your ass into his crotch. He grabbed your hips, but you batted him away. “You really know how to distract a guy, don’t you?”

You hummed a laugh. Angling back, you nuzzled your nose against his cheek. “I’m hoping for a bigger tip since I gave you the extra help.” 

“I might do that.” His eyes closed. Once again, his hands slid over your body. But you didn’t push them away as he spoke. “If I can help out financially in any way, maybe you could help me again some- is it safe to talk in here?”

As you spun face him and sit on his lap, it took everything in you not to laugh at the surprise in his face. “Yes. There’s video in case someone gets too hands. But no audio.” You began to swivel your hips, making his mouth drop open. You would be lying if his handsomeness mixed with the danger wasn’t doing something to you too. “Video starts recording when the lights turn on. But there would be too much to listen to and store in security with all the rooms and the floor. So, video suffices.” As you angled your head back to sway, he leaned in and placed a kiss against your neck. It knocked the air out of you. “That- that costs extra, y’know.”

“Mhmm.” He guided you to lean your head the other way with the crook of his finger on your chin. “I’ve got deep enough pockets.” 

You quickly lost control of the dance. Instead, you began to move based on what felt good for you instead of giving your patron all the pleasure. He began to notice your breathlessness. 

“If you need a name to whisper, my friends call me Dick.”

“I bet they do.”

When your eyes closed, he looked you up and down. He waited until it looked like you were blissed out to mummer, “I really have to go.”

“Yes.” You dug your hands into his hair. “You should.” 

With a deep kiss to your chest, he managed to push you away. “We both should go. Your bouncer will be waiting to see me to the door.” His big blue eyes held you in place. Trailing his finger down the side of your face, he managed to whisper, “if I had more time.“

“We could have a lot of fun.” You forced a smile and stepped off his lap. “Maybe some other time. When you come back, ask for Starfire.”

“I’ll do that.”

He helped you back into your robe and saw you to the dressing room door. The guard was outside, indeed ready to escort him out. Peacefully. 

When he was few minutes down the road, the com-link crackled to life. Jason’s usually irritated calm voice had a tinge of worry. “Where are you?”

“On my way home.” Dick failed to keep the satisfied smile out of his voice. “I had to follow a lead.”

“Oh,” Jason teased. “Has Bruce Wayne’s golden child following daddy’s footsteps by claiming his first conquest?”

“No.” Dick rolled his eyes. “Maybe I just like this woman. Not to mention, she’s got a mean left hook. Might ask her to join the team.”

“That’ll be the day.”

***

The next day when you walked in, all the girls were waiting for you. 

“So, how was your night?”

You ignored them with a smile. 

They gathered around. One of them said, “Rebecca had a night with Bruce Wayne a few years ago. Said he was phenomenal.”

It was a hook. And you took the bait. 

“She can keep him. I’ve got the better Wayne.” 

***

***

Masterlist

Other Dick Grayson fics: 

Hey Bartender (Angst)

We’re Closed (Plot, Fluff, implied Smut)

Arrangement (Money Angst, Fluff, Implied Smut) (Start of Series)

[identifying-birds]

(if you have any questions about where YOUR favorite falls leave a comment or an ask) (that is what my whole blog is about)

[gemsofgreece]

Greek vocabulary: Common birds edition

*bold “th” is pronounced like a regular th, all other instances of th here are actually pronounced as th in this, that, there, mother etc

** i always as ee, never as eye

*** gh is like the French r

eagle - αετός - aetós (ah-eh- TOS) (m)

swallow - χελιδόνι - helithóni (n)

Sparrow - σπουργίτι - spuryíti (n)

Chicken (young) - κοτόπουλο - kotópulo (n)

Hen (female colloquial) - κότα - kóta (f)

Chicken / hen (archaic) - όρνις / όρνιθα - órnis / órnitha (f)

(Hence ornithology.)

Rooster - πετεινός - petinós (m)

Rooster (colloquial) - κόκορας - kókoras (m)

Rooster (archaic) - αλέκτωρ - aléktor (m)

Woodpecker - δρυοκολάπτης - thriokoláptis (m)

Hawk - γεράκι - yeráki (n)

Vulture - όρνιο - órño (n)

Vulture - γύπας - yípas (m)

Raven / crow - κόρακας / κοράκι - kórakas / koráki (m / n)

Penguin - πιγκουίνος - piguínos (m)

Parrot - παπαγάλος - papaghálos (m)

Parrot (archaic) - ψιττακός - psitakós (m)

(Hence the scientific name and psittacosis disease.)

Quail - ορτύκι - ortíki (n)

Pheasant- φασιανός - fassianós (m)

Duck - πάπια - pápya (f)

Goose - χήνα - hína (f)

Pigeon - περιστέρι - peristéri (n)

Swan - κύκνος - kíknos (m)

(Hence the Latin and then scientific name Cygnus as well as the constellation.)

Cuckoo - κούκος - kúkos (m)

Owl (colloquial) - κουκουβάγια - kukuváya (f)

Owl (archaic) - γλαύκα - ghláfka (f)

Seagull - γλάρος - ghláros (m)

Stork - πελαργός - pelarghós (m)

Pelican - πελεκάνος - pelekános (m)

Peacock - παγώνι - paghóni (n)

Partridge - πέρδικα - pérthika (f)

Lark - κορυδαλλός - korithalós (m)

Magpie - καρακάξα - karakáxa (f)

Collared dove - δεκαοχτούρα - thekaochtúra (f)

Thrush - τσίχλα - tsíchla (f)

Jay - κίσσα - kíssa (f)

Nightingale - αηδόνι - aithóni (ah - ee - THO- nee) (n)

Robin - κοκκινολαίμης - kokinolémis (m)

Crane - γερανός - yeranós (m)

Ostrich - στρουθοκάμηλος - struthokámilos (f)

(From Ancient Greek to Latin, hence the scientific name Struthio camelus.)

Alcyone - αλκυόνη - alkióni (f)

(This bird takes its name from a Greek goddess)

and IMO the ultimate avian winner in Greek word lottery

Heron - ερωδιός - erothiós (m)

[lavful]

Assigning the Ninja Animal Crossing Villagers

Kai: Mac, Jock Dog

Jay: Static, Cranky Squirrel

Zane: Cephalobot, Smug Octopus

Cole: Lucky, Lazy Dog

Lloyd: Tad, Jock Frog

Nya: Blanche, Snooty Ostrich

P.I.X.A.L.: Quinn, Sisterly Eagle

Arin: Antonio, Lazy Anteater

Sora: Kiki, Normal Cat

Wyldyre: Rio, Peppy Ostrich

[aughtpunk]

What is your favorite bird

Any birds I can actually recognize on sight.

Blue jays? Fantastic. Cardinals? Knocking it right out of the park. Ostriches? Big friend I know what you look like! Penguins? God's greatest creation. Chickens? Haha you guys are crazy.